#imagine being sick and feeling lonely. couldn't be me

[saturntheday]

guess who has a fever that keeps coming and going on and off??? me. guess who has a fever and a tummy ache??? me. guess who feels like shit??? ME.

[heavencanbeaprisontoo]

Hello! May I request a headcanon for how Tommy Shelby would pine/crush over a reader maybe one who has rejected him in the past because she worked for him or because she wants to keep their relationship as friends/professional! (Since you’re writing you can make the scenario as to why she said no whatever you like) but truly i’d just love to see a headcanon on him falling in love and longing for someone who he can’t have so easily :)

Imagine Rejecting: Thomas Shelby

Tommy x fem!reader

Trope: Right person, wrong time. Warnings: Angst, pining, toxic romantic tendencies, infidelity.

You worked under him as Lizzie's replacement as his secretary, you saw his books and you knew the red on his suit collar wasn't always lipstick. You went with him almost everywhere, memorized his schedule, and completed small tasks that often caused him headaches. Long hours in the office stopped feeling so lonely. And that's where the trouble started.

When he found himself growing fond of you, he tried to fight it. He really did. But feelings grow over time and before he knew it, he started to see you as a partner. At first, he told himself that you reminded him of Grace. It was easier to tell himself that he was projecting her image onto you. However, there came a point where he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

His eyes would follow you as you left a room. His head would turn upon hearing your voice. The smell of your perfume was enough to give him pause at times. When he was at home, he would sometimes go into his office to call you from your desk in Birmingham. Just to have a conversation, even if it was to go over a detail for a meeting he "forgot."

Tommy confessed his feelings to you one late night at the Midland Hotel. You sat with him at the hotel bar, not a soul around except for the two of you and half a bottle of whiskey. Maybe is was the whiskey that did it, but he took your hand and said: "I've been trying to think of what to do about you. The things that you make me want to feel, make me want to do. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. I want you."

You slowly took your hand from him, and stood. The look in your eyes was enough to make him sober. Quietly, you gave your reply, "I'm going to call for two cars to take us home. I'll see you Monday morning, Mr. Shelby."

Thomas Shelby is not unused to rejection. It hasn't bothered him in years. With you, however, it's different. You aren't a political rival, a gang leader, or a position he's being blocked from obtaining. You are a person. A woman who has denied him access to your heart.

That is very, very different.

Not to mention a blow to his ego. Tommy knows he's attractive, and he knows that most of the women he interacts with are more than a little interested in him. Ladies from poor families see a man that can provide. Ladies from wealthy families see a man of danger that can make them feel alive. You didn't seem to fall into either category. You didn't seem to need him the way most people did.

He wouldn't discuss that night at the Midland with you for several months. When it finally did get addressed, you seemed surprised. Had you assumed he was drunk? It hardly mattered. You tried to turn him down, again "We can't, Tommy."

"Of course we can."

You scoffed, "We shouldn't. You have a wife and two children, and I am merely your employee."

Tommy got closer to you, his eyes caught between staring at your rosy painted lips and the look in your eyes. His fingertips gazed your wrist. It would be so easy to just kiss you. To take you into his arms and just hold you. Did you truly not want him? As he stared you down, the answer was found in the tears that welled in your eyes. No, you were just as sick in the heart as he was.

"Lizzie understands. Or marriage is a partnership, nothing more. We can be as we like, she wants nothing to do with it," Tommy takes your chin in between his thumb and index finger. "Tell me you don't want me, and I'll leave you alone. Tell me that."

Tears stained by your dark mascara roll down your cheeks, a shudder runs through you. "Tommy," you sigh "that's precisely why I'll never give in. I can't live my life as your whore. It's almost as cruel as being your wife."

He let you go. You took two steps back, then left him there. As the door to his office slammed shut, Tommy almost chased after you. But, he didn't. Because you were right.

[kathiraven]

The man walked through the dimly lit alleyways, his heart pounding in his chest as he neared his destination. The smell of sweat and cheap perfume filled the air, mingling with the distant sounds of laughter and moans. He had come here seeking something illicit, something that would satisfy his deepest desires. He spotted her from afar, standing under a flickering streetlight. Her figure was slender, her skin pale like milk, and her eyes… they were like pools of darkness, full of secrets and promises. She wore a skimpy outfit that left little to the imagination, but it was her seductive smile that truly drew him in

Jerald's pulse quickened as he approached the young woman, his mind already clouded with lust. His gaze roamed over her body, taking in every curve and hollow, his breath hitching in his throat. She was beautiful, exotic, and far too tempting for someone like him. As she turned towards him, her lips parted slightly in a teasing grin, revealing perfect white teeth against her dark complexion. She stepped closer, her hips swaying enticingly, and Jerald could almost taste the sweet scent of her arousal on the air. "Looking for some fun? " she purred, her voice like velvet." I can show you things you've never even dreamed of".

Jerald groaned, his head throbbing painfully as he tried to sit up. He was disoriented, his vision blurry and his thoughts foggy. Where was he? How did he get here? His surroundings came into focus slowly - a shabby room, lit by a single bare bulb hanging from the ceiling. There was filth and grime everywhere, and the stench of stale alcohol and sweat hung heavy in the air. A large figure loomed over him, blocking out what little light there was. It took him a moment to realize it was another man, one he didn't recognize. The stranger was shirtless, his muscular torso glistening with sweat, and he held a wicked-looking knife in his hand. "What… what happened?" Jerald managed to ask, fear making his voice waver. "Who are you?"

Jer, as Jerald now knew him, gave a harsh laugh, the sound echoing around the small room. He tossed the knife onto a nearby table, where it landed with a clatter, and sat down heavily beside Jerald. "You passed out, mate", he said, his accent thick and guttural. "Got yourself into a bit of trouble, I reckon." He reached out a massive hand, roughly patting Jerald's cheek before pulling away again. "Best thing for ya is to rest up 'til the next bloke comes along. You'll be right as rain then". With that, Jer stood up and began to pace around the room, his movements slow and deliberate. Every now and then, he cast a glance over his shoulder at Jerald, his expression unreadable.

Jerald's mind was a whirlwind of confusion and fear. He couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't right, that his reality was shifting and changing beneath him.He remembered walking through the seedy alleyway, meeting the mysterious woman, and then... nothing. But now, he was here, in this grimy room with this terrifying man. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten here or why he was with Jer.He closed his eyes tightly, trying to piece together the fragments of his memory. But each time he thought he was getting somewhere, everything would blur and shift again. It was like his past was being rewritten, edited to fit whatever sick game Jer wanted to play.

Jerald's heart pounded in his chest as he struggled to hold onto his fading memories. He could feel them slipping away, like sand through his fingers. They were being replaced by new ones, ones that painted a picture of a life spent in the red-light district. He remembered waking up in this dingy room countless times before, always with a different face beside him. He remembered selling his body to strangers, using sex to numb the pain of his lonely existence. And yet, deep down, he knew these weren't his real memories. They were false, fabricated to keep him trapped in this hellish world. "No… "he whispered hoarsely, "This isn't me… I'm not supposed to be here…"

jer walks out of the room and lock the door behind him

As Jer left the room, locking the door behind him, Jerald felt a strange sensation wash over him. His muscles seemed tighter, stronger than before, and his skin glowed with a healthy sheen. He looked down at himself, barely recognizing the body he saw. His once lanky frame had been transformed into a chiseled physique, each muscle perfectly defined. His arms were thick and powerful, his abs rippled like waves beneath his skin. Even his legs had grown larger, more muscular, capable of carrying him for miles without tiring. And then there was his hair. It had gone from its usual dirty black color to a vibrant shade of pink, matching the new confidence that seemed to radiate from him. But it was his face that surprised him most. Gone was the plain, nondescript look he used to have.

Instead, he was now a handsome young man, his features soft and feminine. His cheeks were flushed with color, his lips plump and inviting. His eyes, once dull and lifeless, now sparkled with an inner fire that seemed to burn brighter with every passing second. It was as if he had been reborn, molded into a new version of himself. But who had done this to him? Why? And more importantly, how could he escape this nightmare and return to the person he used to be?

Jerald's transformation was complete. He was no longer the nerdy, awkward boy he used to be. Now, he was a gorgeous, alluring man, designed to sell his body to the highest bidder. He stood up, testing his new strength, flexing his muscles as he moved around the room. Everything about him screamed sexuality – from his tight, toned body to his inviting lips. He was a living, breathing temptation, created to satisfy the darkest desires of those who frequented this place. But despite his newfound attractiveness, Jerald felt a pang of sadness. This wasn't who he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be studying, dreaming of a better future. Not servicing men in a seedy brothel.

He walked over to the mirror, his reflection staring back at him with a mix of fascination and horror. He was beautiful, undeniably so. But it was a beauty born out of pain and suffering, a twisted creation of someone else's design. He ran his hands over his sculpted body, tracing the lines of his muscles. He couldn't help but notice how responsive his skin was, how every touch sent shivers of pleasure coursing through him. It was as if his entire body had been sensitized, made hyper-aware of every sensation. But as much as he hated to admit it, part of him also enjoyed this new form. The attention, the power it gave him over others… It was intoxicating, addictive. But he knew he had to resist.

Jerald turned to face the door, his posture straight and proud. Despite everything, he knew he had to maintain some semblance of control over his situation. "Bring in your next customer", he said, his voice deeper and more confident than before." I'm ready." Even though he spoke the words, he didn't mean them. He wasn't ready. He never would be. But what choice did he have? He heard footsteps approaching, the heavy thud of boots against the floor. He braced himself, preparing for whatever came next. But instead of fear, he felt a strange sense of anticipation. The door swung open, revealing another man standing in the doorway. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and had a rough, rugged appearance that spoke volumes about his character.

[thelunarfairy]

Tsukasa's loneliness…

I've been thinking about Tsukasa's situation. How he is so tired. Tired of waiting for Amane, tired of being alone, tired of staying awake. Even after his death, he remained, he, just like Amane, he didn't go anywhere.

Death should be eternal rest, shouldn't it? But he never dies, no matter how many times he sacrifices himself, he always stays awake, alone. As a boy, he lived isolated in a house cursed with strange creatures who used him as bait, while he missed his brother.

When he returned, he had his life taken and awakened again in a dark and lonely place… the boundary. We can imagine how much he called out for his brother, even though he killed him, but his voice could never be heard, at best, considering that Amane wasn't such a bad brother.

Perhaps, while he was in that cage, he remembered those dark days…. Where he would have to once again try to free himself alone, without strength, without will, and he had already called him so much, that he was now convinced that It wouldn't make a difference, he wouldn't come for him.

Does he regret coming back? Back to Amane… Because in the end he was alone in the same way as the beginning…

Tsukasa is so tired, and now I can understand him a little. He wants to be destroyed, he wants to leave again, because there is no reason for him to stay. Hanako held him close to him in an almost eternal bond, he forced him to stay by his side even though he abandoned him. He is his yorishiro, and the only way to untie himself is to remove the seal, or destroy him…

But why didn't he just ask Nene from the beginning, when she didn't know he was a yorishiro, to take off that seal?

Because he wants to resolve things directly with Amane before leaving again. He wants Amane to do this, because it wouldn't be fair for him to go through all this and for him to simply leave without Amane even showing that he loves him…

That's just what he wants to hear.

He is no longer disappointed, he is not surprised that Amane acts in a negative way. He accepted that Amane hates him, that Amane doesn't miss him, that Amane doesn't want to be with him, that Amane doesn't listen to his voice, that Amane… won't save him.

He expected Hanako to take Nene from his arms and walk away while he fell to the deepest side of that boundary. It was what he expected of him.

Even though little Tsukasa came back, he just became more sure that Amane hated him… Tsukasa with seal asked him, in his first appearance "do you remember me?"

Hanako abandoned him.

And even so, Tsukasa was so happy to see him again, oh, what a melancholic love… To imagine that he followed his entire relationship with Nene, that he saw that every time she called for him, he heard her …

Why couldn't he hear Tsukasa's voice?

Imagine, you love someone so much that they turn their back on you, while you watch that person give their all for someone else. As if he didn't deserve to receive the same as her, not in a romantic way, but as a younger brother.

The one who spent his days trying to fulfill his brother's wishes while he was sick, the one who… left to save the one he loved, who came back to give his older brother one more chance, a chance to show how he feels in truth…

And in the end, being stabbed in the chest, yes, in the heart. How many stabs has he already received from Amane?

To be locked up and left alone for 10, 20 years… He just wants to leave again, but before that, he still intends to fulfill other people's wishes.

What will be Tsukasa's true wish…. I think only Amane can fulfill it….

[mayajadewrites]

I Wish I Hated You (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

story summary: You don't do second chances. Especially after you gave your heart to Levi Ackerman, and he decided to throw it away so the next person has to repair the damage. Will Levi put his ego aside and finally admit his feelings for you are far deeper than you imagined? Or is a second chance out of the question?

ao3

C H A P T E R E I G H T : T O M O R R O W

WARNING: explicit scenes in this chapter!! let me know what you think :)

Levi lead you into his living room that you were all too familiar with. His expression was... blank. You couldn't tell if he was sad, mad, or anything in between.

You sit on the couch opposite to the chair he's sitting in. "Levi, I-"

"You should know this," Levi looks down. "I'm not the best at... well, talking. My mother is someone who was... so special to me." 

"Levi." You press your hand on top of his. "I'm here to listen." 

Levi sighs as he sits back in his chair. "My mother and I grew up poor. Like, dirt poor." Levi started talking. It feels like it's been forever since you and him had an actual conversation instead of just arguing. "We were couch surfing and squatting in abandoned houses. Then, she got sick. We don't know what it was since we couldn't afford to go to a doctor. We couldn't even afford food. I was starving every day. Dreaming of bread." Levi looks down. "One day, she wouldn't even attempt to get out of bed. Or even talk to me. I remember her telling me about her brother, my uncle, and I had his phone number written down. I begged the corner store to let me use their phone, and thankfully they let me."

Your heart sinks thinking of how lonely Levi felt. How he was lacking basic needs.

"I called Kenny and he came and stayed with my mother during her last moments. I stood on the other side of her with my hand in hers. I remember her saying, 'Kenny, please take care of my Levi.' The pressure I was feeling from her hand suddenly just... disappeared. My mother's body was still there, but her soul was gone." 

Tears start to well up in your eyes. Levi's eyes were glued to the floor as he spoke, his deep voice cracking when he spoke of the final moments with his mother.

"Then I went and lived with Kenny. Which... wasn't the best either. He fed me, but he wanted me to learn to fend for myself. I would cause fights in school and Kenny had to beg them to let me stay." Levi cleared his throat. "He didn't know how to be a parent. I don't blame him. His sister died and left behind me. My father, who the hell knows who he is - Kenny felt he had no choice. But he did have a choice. He could've just-"

"Levi, he could not just leave you."

"He could've."

"But he didn't. You're his nephew, I'm sure he saw you and saw some of himself."

"Well, when I turned 18, he left. He told me I was an adult now and I had to figure life out. I was being... well, to put it lightly, a delinquent when I met Erwin. He's a tall, well kept man and I wanted to steal from him. He looked like he had money so he was the perfect target. For whatever reason, he wanted to be my friend. He's been in my life ever since." Levi finally looked at you. "He opened his home to me. He fed me. He taught me the ways of being a business man."

You didn't know how deep Erwin and Levi's friendship was. They're bonded brothers.

His mother left, Kenny left - no wonder he likes to leave. Must be an Ackerman thing. 

You stared into Levi's eyes - watching the storm brew. Your heart sank as you explored his face, your feelings for him resurfacing.

"Now you know why I am the way I am." Levi put his hands on his knees. "I don't blame you if you want to leave."

"Levi." You walk over to his chair, slowly sitting on his lap. "Do you want me to leave?" You gently wrap your arms around him. 

"I think you want to -"

"Answer my question." You grab his chin, pulling his face towards you. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No." Levi shook his head. "I never want you to leave." 

You felt like there was life brought back to you. The piece of your heart that broke off when you left Levi mended back to you. 

"We have to start over then." You caress his face gently. You wanted to just hold him during this vulnerable moment. "Like, we're going on dates. Almost like we were never together." 

"Hm?" Levi tilted his head. "But we did date... for 2 years."

"Levi. Do you want to make this work or no?" 

"I do." 

"Then we're starting over. I don't want us to jump back into this and make the same mistakes." 

Levi nods, letting his hand rest on your thigh. "Are you sure you don't want to leave? I'm giving you an out." 

"Levi Ackerman." Theres attitude in your voice. "If I wanted to leave, I would. I have before - remember?" 

"I'm sorry I made you leave."

"Shhh." You pull Levi into your chest, letting him lean on you. You felt his eyelashes flutter on your skin as he closed his eyes. His breath is slow and you know he's listening to your heartbeat. He's always loved cuddling in your chest and feeling your beating heart. Levi starts to bury his face in your breasts, his hands traveling up to your waist.

"Hey," You giggle as Levi grabs your left breast with his large hand. "Levi, this isn't the right time to be-"

"Sh." Levi demanded. His fingers pulled your shirt over your head, revealing your plump breasts. They bounced as they were released from the captivity of your shirt and Levi is mesmerized. He brought his lips to your right tit, sucking on your skin roughly as he squeezed the other. You throw your head back at the contact. Levi has always loved your chest and he likes to take his time there when he can.

"This isn't a part of starting over." You breathe.

"We can start over tomorrow." Levi mumbled as he unclipped your bra without looking. His mouth attached to your nipple, sucking it gently. You feel the wetness in your pants already as Levi sucks, bites, and licks all over your tits. 

Levi sits you on the chair, his large hands trailing down your upper body to the buttons of your jeans. He's on his knees now as he pulls your pants off, throwing them across the room. "My favorites." Levi hums at the sight of your black lace panties. "Too bad they're coming off." Levi almost rips the panties off of you, revealing your soaked pussy. 

He marvels for a moment, watching your arousal leak from you. You throw your head back as your core starts to throb. "Levi-" He cuts you off by inserting his tongue inside you. You gasp as you feel his tongue exploring your pussy, finding your clit soon after. Levi wraps his hands around your thighs as he devours you, his lips squelching against your core. 

Levi wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently as he inserts two fingers into you. You bury your hands in his hair, pushing his face farther into you. You felt him smile as you pulled on his hair, something he's always loved. He pumped his fingers in and out of you quickly while his mouth was solely focused on your clit.

"I could eat this pussy all day." Levi hummed, the vibration from his words only adding to your pleasure. "This pretty little pussy."

"Levi." You moan, wrapping your legs around him as your toes begin to curl.

"I love when you moan my name." His fingers started to pump faster as your walls began to pulsate. "Can you come on my fingers, princess?" 

You nod silently as you feel the high quickly approaching. Your chest feels tight as the world begins to fade away, leaving only you and Levi. His tongue lapped your dripping arousal as you reached your high. Levi doesn't stop though, he keeps sucking on your clit until he wants to be done. You came on his fingers, his mouth - practically his entire face.

"Levi, I need you inside of me." You whine.

"You want my cock inside of you, my princess?"

"God, yes." You nod. Levi's mouth leaves your pussy and he picks you up and lays you on the couch gently. His shirt is off quickly, along with his belt and pants.

You watch his cock spring out of his pants. Every time you see it, you're mesmerized.

"Are you sure?"

"We'll start over tomorrow." You nod a Levi's arms are on either side of you. You feel the tip of his cock at your slit, easily sliding in due to your arousal. Levi lets out a husky moan as he feels your gummy walls wrapping around his cock.

"You were made for me." Levi starts thrusting into you. "This pussy fits me so perfectly."

"Baby, it's all yours." You stare into Levi's eyes. He presses his lips to yours roughly, leaving sloppy kisses as he thrusts inside you faster. You wrap your arms around his neck as he watches his length disappear inside of you, stretching your walls. You'll never get used to his size, no matter how many times you fuck.

"Princess, I need you to come again. Before me." Levi grunted as he slammed into you. He attaches his lips to the side of your neck, biting and sucking until your skin is purple. He then brings his fingers to your clit, rubbing it gently. 

You throw your head back, feeling your walls pulsate once again. Levi's thrusts start to become uneven as he feels you grip him, which means he's close.

"I'm not coming before you." Levi rubs circles on your clit. Your toes curl as Levi is almost overstimulating you - but that high comes back. 

"Levi." You practically yell as the hardest high of your life hits you. You see stars as Levi slams into you again and again. 

"Where should I come?" Levi whispered.

"Inside." You whisper in his ear, which causes him to lose all the control he had left. He coats your insides with him as he comes, gripping your hips tightly. Levi fills you up with his cum and somehow there is still more. 

Levi pulled out slowly and you whine at the now void. He pulls his pants on and grabbing a towel from his hallway closet and helping you clean up.

"So... tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." You press your lips to his gently, letting your worries melt away.

[orchidsangel]

Recently imagined Jason and y/n, his ex, meeting again after a few years. Still obviously caring about each other. Eating cake alone at the apartment and awaiting the New Year together. Not wanting to say that this is the least lonely, however sad-looking, night they've experienced since they split up.

(jumping off a cliff bc i missed the glaring "new year" part of this and was like "i'll get to this later" so sorry beloved, also this got more angsty than i intended.)

Exes to lovers with Jason is always in the back of my mind somewhere, eating away at my sanity. Just the idea that he loved you so hard he had to let you go, knowing the life he lived wasn't suitable for you. You told him you didn't mind, that he was so important to you that you could put aside the constant worry that would sit in your stomach like a rock every time he was off being Red Hood. You said it was fine, but he saw the way bags appeared under your eyes after too many nights of staying up for him, how you forgot to eat when he went too long without contacting you, and how the tears would slip past your lashes when you were patching him up.

At the end of it all, you had begged him to stay, telling him over and over how much you loved him. It killed him to tell you that that was the reason why it was ending, because you loved him too hard, and you were neglecting yourself because of it. He was sick, wondering if he'd made the wrong decision, wondering if this would only make things worse for you. So, despite the fresh ache in his heart, he still watched out for you, determined to make sure you thrived without him, and thrive you did.

It felt like it had been ages since the last time he saw you that couldn't be mistaken for stalking. Watching you from rooftops and alleyways, rushing fights to make sure he could see if you got home safely and intervene if there were any threats. It became routine for him to hang up his helmet at night once he knew you were safe in the confines of the apartment you once shared. What wasn't routine was you knocking on his apartment door at exactly eleven forty-seven pm on New Year's Eve with a sad-looking store-bought cake in your hands and an even sadder look on your face.

"I know we're not together anymore, but…"

Splitting a whole cake between the two of you on New Year's Eve instead of having a typical dinner had been your tradition for years. Jason took it very seriously, planning the cake in advance for weeks, testing different flavors, even going as far as calling you once in the middle of a fight, asking if you preferred chantilly or sponge. It was stupid to most people you told, but to you and Jason, it was the perfect way to end the year. Now, you stand before him, holding a cake that could never compare to the decadent black forest cake he had made the last time you'd spent New Year's together.

You look down at the cake and then back up at him, the familiar gleam of water in your eyes. He takes the container in one hand and uses the other to pull the door open more so you can come in. It had been a while since you'd been there last, but everything was the same. A wall with an extensive collection of weapons, a stack of books that only collected dust when he was gone for long periods of time, and a framed picture of Jason and Bruce from his robin days.

"How'd you know where to find me?"

"Lucky guess."

Not a lucky guess, the first place you'd told him you loved him.

He roots around a drawer, pulling out two forks and handing one to you. Silence hangs in the air, several year's worth of unspoken feelings lingering with nowhere to go but up. he pops the lid off the container and gestures for you to take the first bite, another tradition that came with his hours of cake-making; he'd always insist on you having the first taste so you could give feedback and you only ever had positive things to say. Now, the weak taste of vanilla paired with a dry crumb, and your mouth turns downward into a frown.

"I don't think it's that bad."

"You'll eat anything."

"True."

No, it wasn't that bad. In fact, before you'd met Jason, this was something you probably would've treated yourself to when life decided to be good to you, but he had spoiled you, given you so much more than you even knew was out there, and it wasn't all material.

Three minutes to New Year's now, and approximately six bites taken out of the cake, five from Jason, and you're ready to part ways again with you leaving him this time. There's still time to make a run for it and ring in the new year without the baggage of your ex hanging over you; there's still time to pretend your world wasn't shattered when he left.

"Why are you here? Why not spend New Year's with your friends?"

"Friends?"

"The people I always see you with when I-"

"Watch me?"

"Am on patrol."

"Right."

"Why aren't you with them?"

"Not friends, coworkers."

"You're with them all the time."

"Workplace comradery."

"So, friends."

Thirty seconds now, and the words you still haven't said are on the tip of your tongue and in the back of your mind, egging you on to admit the feelings you've been sitting on for what feels like forever. He beats you to it.

"Please come back to me."

"I'm not the one who left."

Fireworks go off outside, signifying the beginning of a new year, and you and Jason stand across from each other. Physically, only the kitchen island stands between you two, but emotionally, you're still miles apart. You can't hear in his words how much he needs you back in his life, how hard it is for him every night to not climb in through your window and find his spot in the bed you'd shared like he'd done so many times before; and he can't hear in your words how the wound he left in your heart never healed, how it never even started to, and how through him leaving, you found out that time doesn't heal all things.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Hey fellow yidden: some motivation for you this Elul

So maybe this year you've done some backsliding on some mitzvot. So maybe you haven't davened as much as you would like. Maybe you missed opportunities to go to things in community because you just couldn't motivate yourself. Or perhaps there were things that you struggled to do individually.

Perhaps the reason that you missed opportunities for mitzvot is because you were afraid of missing out on something else.

Well, as a traditional egalitarian Jew who tries but has ADHD, depression, lots of executive dysfunction, a demanding job, relationships to maintain, and 900 hobbies, I feel you.

But fear not! I have two suggestions for ways to help you seek out mitzvot in every area of your life.

Suggestion the first: Weaponize the FOMO

At least for me, I'm always worried that if I daven as much as I would like to (as one example) I am going to miss out on [x] other thing. However, instead, sit yourself down and consider what one mitzvah you want to prioritize. Then, imagine never being able to do it again.

My friend, that day will come.

Mitzvot are for the living. A Jew being buried in their tallit has the tzitzit trimmed off first. Why? Because mitzvot are the project of the living and all we can know for sure about death is that it will come for all of us, eventually. If you believe in an afterlife, your deeds - good or bad - will accompany your soul on your way home. And you will be comforted and bask in the mitzvot you performed. And if you don't believe in an afterlife? Well, this is your one shot, and whatever deeds you leave behind is all that will be left of you someday.

Better wear those tzitzit now, then.

Suggestion the second:

Look for the kedusha in literally everything.

One of the truly amazing things about Judaism is that every moment, no matter how mundane, is full of opportunities to engage in mitzvot. Whether it's saying Asher Yatzar after using the restroom, washing your hands before meals, saying brachot before eating food, wearing certain clothing (tzniut, no shatnez, ritually significant like a kippah, etc.), being kind to animals (even insects), honoring your parents, visiting a sick or recovering friend, compromising with your spouse for shalom bayit, giving money to the poor, or simply reaching out to a friend who might be sad, lonely, and struggling - there are daily opportunities to connect and to infuse every moment of your life with holiness.

Judaism is so much about how we treat each other, our world, our bodies, and our communities, and these in turn are what help us to understand how to treat our souls and our relationship to the Divine. Judaism is about relationships. And the opportunities don't require you to go to shul, or don tefillin, wait for the high holidays, or give extravagantly. (Although those things are great if you want to do them, too!)

By design, the mitzvot are meant to allow you to connect with Judaism, with yourself, your world, and Hashem at every turn, simply by living your life. It's honestly a very old form of mindfulness, long before that was a buzzword.

So, weaponize that FOMO in one breath, knowing this is the only life we have, and in the next breath, really open your eyes to the opportunities that already surround you in every facet of your life. They are there if you look, and you will never miss out if you keep on looking.

[biguyonline]

‘Toru’s Girl

Pairings: Satoru x (Fem!)Reader and Suguru x Satoru x (Fem!) Reader

Rating: Explicit 18+

Warnings: Reader is called girl, and girlfriend but is never physically described (besides having eyes lol), masturbation, possessiveness, mentions of inflicting pain, cursefucker!Suguru, mentions of likening oneself to a monster, Suguru smokes a cigarette, Satoru being an asshat. Space cadet, melodramatic Suguru experiencing a bisexual awakening and a breakdown.

Summary: Reader and Satoru Gojo are a new couple, Suguru Geto finds himself jealous of his friends for more reasons than even he knew. Follow Suguru as he unearths his deeper (darker) feelings for his friends.

Notes: All characters are aged up, it’s Jujutsu Tech College over here y’all. This entire fic is inspired by the shower scene, you know the one. The idea for this fic came to me while listening to this song. While writing it, I also thought of and listened to this song and this song.

Satoru is his friend. Suguru stood staring himself down in the mirror, having to remind himself. Sobering himself to his situation. The water on his body cooling, having met the air. It beaded up in his hair and rolled down his back. Grounding himself in his reality. His feet were cold on the tile floor of the bathroom. Satoru is his best friend. The only person that has been here for him. Satoru is the only person that’s been able to help him get used to the sorcerer world, this reality. So much has changed and it keeps changing. There’s nothing left to hold on to. Suguru’s awareness came back to the sound of the faucet still on. He watched the water hurdle down the drain. This time the change wasn’t hard to define. But that didn’t make it any easier.

Suguru watched your eyes, they were glued to Satoru. All while Satoru yapped on about some nonsense that probably only you could pretend to stomach. He could see his reflection in your eyes. The way the morning sun showed off the twinkle in your eye, Suguru could tell that not only did you want Satoru, but that you are just as much of a smartass as him. He could see the love, desire, and the smug comeback you had for Satoru all before the words left your lips. Suguru could stay lost in your eyes, if they would ever meet his gaze.

“Hey, man!” Satoru snapped his fingers in Suguru's face. “Are you sleeping enough lately?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Suguru shrugged and leaned back in his seat.

“We’re getting ice cream before I have to do a field assignment today.” Suguru couldn’t tell if you were rubbing it in his face or inviting him to be a third wheel.

“Come with us, get out of your dorm. The rest of your day is gonna be boring anyway.” Satoru’s gorgeous smile was full of teeth that were going to fall out of his head if he continued to let his sweet tooth take charge of his diet. Not that Suguru found himself to be one to talk, he had a collection of unhealthy habits. Maybe that’s what’s left of their humanity.

"I've got something better to do today than rot my teeth with you two.” Suguru lied. “But I'll make time." The smile he faked felt real for a passing moment.

Suguru walked behind you and Satoru on the way to the creamery. He'd gone with Satoru countless times before you started tagging along. So why was he the one "tagging along" now? He watched your hips sway as you walked. It made him sick. He couldn't help but imagine your hips rocking and swaying on his best friend's cock. Satoru's arm around you began to wonder. Groping you in public?! Satoru would be so audacious. The way Satoru's arm fit around you so well left a lonely spot around Suguru. In that moment Suguru wished someone would hold him like that.

You and Gojo split some obscene pile of sugar. Chatting, giggling. You were animated as you talked, it wiggled the booth Suguru was sharing with you. The side of your body rubbed against his. Suguru wanted to plant his hand on your thigh to steady you, to feel you. Suguru questioned if he’d ever find someone like you, or if he’d have to take you. Suguru smirked to himself, he could have you if he wanted to. He fought away the thought. Suguru felt dirty for wanting you so badly. You belonged to Satoru, and as much as Suguru tried to respect that, he couldn’t accept it.

Suguru found himself playing along. Pretending that you and he could share Satoru, that you and he could be just friends. He couldn’t find another way to have both you and Satoru in his life so why change things? He wouldn’t lose his best friend just to have you. Not in his right mind. It was painfully sweet to have the both of you at his side and yet just out of reach. There was no reason to tear down the dynamic you and Satoru had built. You were happy, and Suguru thought he could learn to be. Suguru pulled himself from his thoughts when he noticed the tone of the discussion had changed.

“You mad?” Satoru taunted you. “As far as I can tell, you don’t have an argument.” Satoru winked at you before going back to his side of the sundae milkshake you were sharing with him. Suguru found it hard to tell when the two of you were flirting or arguing.

“Satoru, you shouldn't pick on your girlfriend. You’re hardly hearing her out.” Suguru tutted.

“Who else am I supposed to pick on then? You?” Satoru challenged Suguru, a sugarcoated shiteating grin spread across his face. “Ya think you know how to treat my girlfriend better than me?” Satoru’s words cut deeper than he knew.

“That’s enough.” You put your foot down. “This has nothing to do with what we were debating” You rolled your eyes. “I was enjoying our discussion until you two derailed it. I’m the one who’s going to have to go deal with some cursed spirit later, can we please just have a nice time?” You reached out and touched both their hands. Suguru smiled and his heart fluttered when you smiled back.

“It’s irrelevant that curses exist in context with the regular public, when they can’t even see them. What does it matter that they see us?” Satoru cleared his throat and settled back into the discourse the two of you were having.

Suguru recognized his age-old gotcha question and it was Suguru’s turn to roll his eyes. But he kept his opinions to himself this time. Having already argued that very topic into the ground to no avail, he opted to watch you try your hand at it while enjoying his milkshake.

As the two of you continued to talk at length Suguru couldn’t help but start to compare himself to Satoru, and wonder what exactly it was you saw in his best friend. Satoru is smarter, and very handsome in a different way, but Suguru judged himself to be much more charismatic, polite, and in touch with his emotions. All things Satoru lacked. Satoru is shameless, rude, but admittedly confident. Satoru’s confidence and jovialness were definitely his charms. His unique looks were captivating. Satoru has those gorgeous eyes everyone knows about but Suguru wondered if anyone had seen them as up close and personal as he had. Surely no one else has felt how soft Satoru’s tousled hair is, except maybe he’d have let you. So many things are effortless for Satoru, and the long and lean form of his body accentuates his grace, Satoru has poise when he wants to. Other times he does come off as lanky and awkward, its purposeful Suguru supposes, he does it in an attempt to be humorous. Which Satoru is not so effortless in. Suguru treasures how hard Satoru tries to make him laugh.

Suguru shook his head. He lit a cigarette and sighed out his first draw as he watched you kiss Satoru goodbye. You split away from Suguru and Satoru disappearing into the sea of pedestrians, it was just the two of them now. Walking back to campus together. The heartbeat of nostalgia was flatlined with melancholy. It stung in his chest. The ache of carrying unspoken feelings used the smoke in his lungs to tie a knot in his throat. He felt like his hands had rope burn from holding on to old times.

“You could be here with me right now.” Satoru hinted, a small knowing smile on his face.

“What?” Suguru stammered, only having heard pieces of what Satoru said.

“You’ve been stuck in here more recently.” Satoru jabbed his finger at the side of Suguru’s head. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Satoru shrugged.

“No worries.” Smoke trailed from Suguru’s mouth.

“Yeah, because you definitely do all of that for me.” Satoru wrapped an arm around Suguru’s shoulders. “Maybe I could try doing some of the worrying for you.” Satoru offered.

“No, I’m fine.” Suguru instinctually pushed away what was happening as he started to get overwhelmed. Satoru’s eyes wandered behind his heavily tinted glasses. He noticed Suguru’s body language changed into something he didn’t recognize. Timidness? It didn’t suit Suguru at all.

“Then pretend I didn’t say anything.” Satoru sighed. His hand trailed down Suguru’s side. Suguru felt like he was trying to play it cool while a snake wrapped around him. Satoru’s hand settled on Suguru’s hip and Suguru let it stay there.

Suguru’s white knuckle grip clenched the sides of the sink. He thought maybe if he looked hard enough into the eyes of this alternate self standing in front of him that then maybe they could swap places. Maybe then, life would be easier. Life would be different. Why was he here alone in his dorm room? Especially now, when there was a chance in that alternate reality he was peering into, he was in Satoru’s room. No, in this reality he chose to be alone with his spiraling thoughts. What was that? He asked himself for maybe the thousandth time because his feet were too heavy to walk next door and ask Satoru why he did what he did on their walk here. What didn’t you see in him that you saw in Satoru? What did Satoru see in him? A friend? Or something more? How would that make you feel?

Wasn’t love supposed to be what you and Satoru had? Not whatever feeling was happening to Suguru. Still, the more he felt like a monster the closer he felt to finding what this feeling must be. Suguru often liked to think about his feelings. He liked to find the logic in them, to make sense of things, to make things right. He never thought it’d feel so good to feel wrong. Suguru was never one to let go of his senses. There was always a point, always a cause, always a reason. Something deep inside him was calling on him to let go. Maybe Satoru had finally gotten to him? Satoru never had a cause, never stood for anything but himself. Satoru had you because he was selfish enough to claim you as his. What was love if not the jealousy inside Suguru that had grown large enough to eat you both?

Suguru’s hair stuck to the back of his neck. He pulled his hair into a bun to get it off of himself and peeled off his damp shirt. If he kept thinking about you and Satoru he was going to have to shower for the second time today. His thoughts waivered, flickering between lust and intrusive memories of different exorcisms he had performed. What if he could exorcise you like a curse? What would you taste like? What would Satoru taste like? How would Satoru feel inside him? How would it feel for the two of you to be utterly consumed by him?

“Fuck.” Suguru groaned low and breathy when he finally acknowledged how his body was reacting to his thoughts.

Still frozen in the eye of his own storm he could hardly bring himself to move. His hand at his side slowly drifts towards his core. He sighs again as his fist wraps around himself. His hips instinctively rut against his hand. Suguru hisses through his teeth, he opens his eyes he didn’t realize he had closed as he tries to bring back a part of him that isn’t just an animal. He settles against the cold tile wall of the bathroom, tightening his grip when he decides to fully give in to himself.

He pulls himself free of his pants and already beads of precum throb out of him and flow through the spaces between his fingers. His muscles twitch and his breath shakes as he tames himself. He starts a rhythm that’s just steady enough to appease himself. His strokes have a twist to them, like he’s wringing the precum out of himself. He moans, biting his lip hard enough for it to sting.

Maybe Satoru had you, maybe Satoru wanted you, but Suguru needed you. Suguru could feel himself losing who he thought he was. Nothing would make sense anymore without you, without Satoru. That’s why he needed you, why he clung to you. That’s why he’d dig his nails into you until he drew blood, just to hear you scream his name. His cock pulsed in his hand at the thought. He scraped his thumbnail up from the base to the tip, following the engorged vein up his shaft.

The sounds of pleasure bounce off the bathroom walls, echoing around Suguru. He was surrounded by himself in more ways than one. His movements become sloppier, his rhythm increases to a brutal pace, the same way he imagines he’d fuck you. Overpowering, all consuming, a force you’d be powerless against. Suguru could hear you brainlessly begging as he fucked you stupid. He bet Satoru never hurt you, but he would, and you’d love it.

Suguru’s movements became erratic, his chest heaved and his mind raced. He was reaching a fever pitch and balancing on a razor sharp edge. He could feel the ghost of Satoru’s hand on his hip. He could see in his mind Satoru knelt before him. Suguru envisioned you next to him with a look of post-orgasm high kissing up and down his neck, all while your boyfriend Satoru sucked him off. Satoru was so high above everyone. Satoru was unreachable, and untouchable. If Satoru ever stooped down to Suguru’s level, Suguru would make him live to regret it. If it was a fair fight, Suguru would win. If Satoru ever showed a shred of humanity Suguru would crush it between his teeth and revel in the feeling of it oozing down his chin and neck. He’d make Satoru what he knew he was really born to be, the strongest curse of them all.

Suguru’s breathing stuttered at the thought of the two of you becoming curses, and living under his control. The two of you belong to him. A low moan rattled his chest as he came hard. Thick ropes of white cum spurt onto his chest. One lands on his chin, another on his chewed and swollen bottom lip. His tongue lazily swipes it up as he opens his mouth panting to catch his breath. He groans and peels himself off the wall. Leaning forward he turned the faucet handle to start a shower.

[ashertickler]

The first time Asher realizes he had feelings for David is when he comforted him after he fell off the tree in his backyard. The first time he kissed David was a little after Gabe's death.

~ 🦇🦑

STOP STOP OH MY GOD I CAN IMAGINE IT WAIT-

brain dump ramble about David x Asher below teehee 😸

Asher's softly sobbing after his arm got fixed and in a sling, and David isn't mad at him or grouchy... he looks worried? Concerned. David didn't comprehend the concept of death at that young age but in the moment where he saw Asher wailing and screaming on the ground with his arm looking... unnatural, scarily bent, blood pooling beneath it, he assumed the worst. And it hit him, what if that was death? And... if it happened to Asher? It mentally broke him, and in the aftermath David wouldn't leave Asher's side, always watching. Making sure Asher didn't slip away when he wasn't looking, making sure Asher was still with him.

Asher noticed the change in David instantly. He knows his best friend like the back of his hand. He knows all too well how easily he gets under David's skin, so to see his usually grouchy buddy so... soft? Always around Asher, holding his hand, helping him up and down stairs, even helping him eat anytime they had a meal together... Asher felt something more than friendship. His heart swelled... but he couldn't name this feeling. Oh, it's probably just super friendship! Yeah... like we're soul buddies! I don't want him to stop being this way around me...

---

After Gabe's post mortum, the Shaw Pack was inconsolable. Especially David, who'd now lost both parents and had the responsibility of being pack alpha imminently upon his shoulders. It broke everyone to hear about the passing of their beloved alpha, but for Asher... he couldn't stop worrying about David. How could he cope? How could he function? How lonely must he feel... and how sick with worry Asher felt at the thought. His thoughts were consumed my David, and it reached a point where he couldn't bare to spend time away from him. Asher swore he would always be by David's side, cos that's what soul buddies do, right? At night, he would hold David as he wept in only Asher's arms, then put a reassuring hand on David's shoulder during the day as David mustered up what little energy he had to tend to the pack and deal with the funeral arrangements. Asher could only watch with pained eyes as David struggled with all the duties he and Frank would soldier through, noting every laboured exhale his best friend shuddered out.

Asher noticed a lot of painful behaviours in David in the days after Gabe's death... but one struck him hard. Not out of worry, but instead with how his heart would swell. David became clingy. Which for David was incredibly difficult to decipher and point out. But Asher noticed. As he had always done, as he had always noticed whenever David's behaviour changed. Whenever it changed towards Ash.

Lingering touches. Hugs that lasted too long. Brushes of his hand against Asher's arm. Leaning into Asher's reassuring and grounding touch. Small nuzzles when crying into Asher's chest and shoulders when the pain of his father's death hit hardest, particularly in the lonely nights where he would have to sleep in his family's apartment alone. One night, David couldn't handle it. He needed Asher. One short call later, Asher had packed his bags and decided to move into the Shaw apartment for David. For his soul buddy. During the night, with Asher cradling David in his arms as he rambled about the funeral to come in the following days, David felt content. For the first time in the days that felt like years after Gabe's passing, being in Asher's arms felt like home. He finally felt warm again. Whole again. All it took was a sharp gulp and a yearning, tear-stained look at Asher for Ash to realise the feeling from his best friend in front of him. Asher cupped David's face and stroked his cheek, I'm always here for you David, and David choked up before breaking into a smile. A small one, but his first smile in... too long. He's smiling... I made him smile. Asher couldn't contain the surge of emotion any longer, it had remained dormant since he broke his arm. The unrequited yearning, the naive hoping, maybe this was the moment-

Thank you, Ash. For always being the one stable force in my life. David, smiling as a tear trails down his cheek, leans in to peck a kiss on Asher's cheek. And Asher freezes, his cheeks turning a soft pink. David stares, his heart skipping a beat, worried he'd been too bold, if this was stupid, if he fucked up, if he'd lose asher too-

Until Asher tilted his head and kissed David, closing his eyes and smiling into the kiss, cupping David's face as David brought his hand to Asher's head and held it before breaking apart. Foreheads touching, they stared into each other's eyes and smiled, before Asher broke into a giggle and David followed suit.

We'll be ok.

(tagging @dawnofiight lucid pookie for when you come back... my fellow dasher stan I hope you like this absolute word dump brain fart of a thingy about our sillies dasher... miss you dookie)

[the-amber-fox]

Young Royals Fic Rec List 2023

The holidays are coming early for this lovely fandom. I present you my favourite fanfics from this year to tide us all over until season 3.

Canon / Missing Moments

a running start (T) by This_time_its_just_me It’s so surreal to see him standing here in the Palace, in the Royal apartments where Wille had grown up through all the good and the bad of his life. It’s an image he couldn't have imagined, not in the sheer unremarkable and yet truly remarkable way it feels in reality. Sure he’d conjured up images of him, ghosts of memories and fantasies tangled together in a love-sick teenager's ache of loss. However, this is him here, pragmatic and tangible and real and it’s just difficult to wrap his mind around it.

Post Canon (maybe)

The equation of you Whiterabbit11 Simon is hurt and unconscious at the local hospital. Rosh watches, Ayub sleeps, and Wille is not happy.

All my loving (I will send to you) (M) @pagegirlintraining „Especially now that they’d been happily dating again for nearly ten months, Simon could’ve easily just teased Wille about being a drama queen and then kissed the pout off his lips. He didn’t, though. Instead, he kept staring at Wille’s handwriting, usually scrawly but now tidy and precise, feeling his heart slowly break for the sad, lonely boy who’d written and never sent this letter all those months ago.”

Baby, We Are Front-Page News (M) Ripki When Wille says, it was me, in front of the whole school – in front of the whole world – Simon feels simultaneously light with joy and leaden with trepidation. Once again, he is suddenly thrust from obscurity into spotlight, from normalcy into absurdity. He is certain though that together he and Wille can face anything. However, that is soon put to test, when a hurtful article about Simon hits the press.

no need for verbier (NR) starrystoryteller simon finds out about verbier

Fix Its

The daisy follows soft the sun (G) @romanticalrj Simon has two dark red seeds inked into his skin just below his belly button. He has always had them. He doesn’t remember a time when he looked into the mirror and that pair of burgundy seeds weren’t staring back at him. To Simon, the marks are an obligation. He doesn’t ever want to be tied to someone in this irreversible, caging way. But, as in most things in his life, Simon doesn’t get a choice. The seeds sit and sit on his belly for years, ignored and hidden and resented.

AUs

Ivy (M) unfortunate17 Wilhelm raises his eyebrows as well. “Pirate Captain Simon Eriksson.” He watches as Simon swallows, stepping forward to set the coins down on the countertop. He still smells like the ocean, Wilhelm notes vaguely, like sunshine and sea-salt. Ayub looks between the two of them, alarm twisting across his features until Wille sighs. “I’m not here to arrest anyone.”

obviously (M) grapehyasynth In their final year of secondary school, Simon and Wille find themselves entering a potent, secret relationship that threatens to upend both their lives. It can't last, but neither can they stop being a part of each other's lives. Over the next few years, even as everything around them changes, even as they hurt and lose each other, they keep finding themselves drawn together. Normal People AU.

Can you see me now? (T) kimmeke wilhelm needs eye surgery and has no one to help him with his recovery. he turns to his only option left: his next door neighbor simon

You're Still the One (M) queerfrogprince Simon and Wille meet on tumblr as teenagers, but when they lose contact, Simon doesn't think he'll ever hear from Wille again, much less bump into him in a supermarket in Stockholm one random afternoon. It's been five years, after all. He barely even thinks about Wille anymore. But, it seems, Wille never stopped thinking about him. Maybe it's not too late to rekindle what they had at fifteen, after all.

Hetero of the Year @girls-are-weird Prince Wilhelm is nominated for the Hetero of the Year award at the QX Gay Gala. In response, he freaks out. Simon, his popstar friend who's been pining for him for the better part of a year, worries this might mean Wille's secretly homophobic. After all, what other reason could there be for him to get so upset?

Slightly unhinged - but so worth it

Sorry this is awkward, I didn’t mean to airdrop that to you (T) @piebingo Wille accidentally airdrops his own fanfiction to a stranger in the library. (Written for the yr week 2023, the prompt of day 2: Alternate Meeting)

fighting dragons with you (T) burntromacesea “You have another knight in shining armor come to rescue you from my evil clutches and my murderous dragon,” Simon comments blandly, handing his husband a cup of coffee, “he should be here by this afternoon.” https://archiveofourown.org/works/45092605

Simon-Appreciation-Posts (T) DrogonTheDragon Wille didn't mean for it to blow up as it did. He didn’t.  … or Wille makes a secret Simon Eriksson fan account and it gets a lot more attention than he intended.

Of Dinosaurs, Unicorns and the Perfect Proposal (G) @groenendaelfic Five-year-old Wilhelm steals his Mamma’s engagement ring to propose to Simon. Linda questions her life choices.

E - Rated

One, two, three, four, five, sex on my mind (E) pagegirlintraining, TheAmberFox When Wille first sees Simon, the rest of the world simply fades away. Which would be romantic and all, if it didn’t lead to him blindly stumbling into the sex shop Simon works at. Once he figures out his mistake, it’s already too late. But Wille wouldn’t be Wille if he let that stop him from pursuing the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen. If only things didn’t keep getting in the way of his plans…

Fuck the Monarchy (E) itsme_hi_imtheproblem Simon and Wille get stuck with each other when they both intern at the riksdag. Wille is intent to just get this dreaded thing over with. Simon can't believe he of all people has to work not only with an old conservative but with the literal prince. Both are surprised by the inexplicable and inevitable pull they feel towards each other.

say my name, say it loud (E) margosfairyeye (Skittery) The argument scene in the locker room in s02e04, but this time there's sex. (inspired by how much I thought there was going to be a spicy scene when I saw Simon come out in that towel)

Three Floors Down (E) emerybemery Simon hates how he can’t keep his eyes off Wille whenever he sees him. He hates how Wille seems to stare back at him with a borderline intoxicating intensity.

A Marvellous Time Ruining Everything @earlgrey-lateatnight Henry accidentally witnesses an intimate moment between Wille and Simon. How will they deal with the fallout?

The darker stuff Watch out for the trigger warnings and tags.

when you find me, let me in (G) paintersong Simon winced with guilt as Wille’s wide eyes traced his laptop. “Crown Prince Wilhelm Denies Involvement in Viral Sex Video” glared back, and Wille blinked, stepping away from the screen, away from Simon, away from the sting of betrayal.

Everybody loves you now (M) lc2l International pop sensation Simme has announced on Instagram that he will be celebrating the end of his sold out world tour with five consecutive shows in Stockholm starting TONIGHT and running through the week. This will be his first extended stay in Sweden in four years, since he graduated from high school and flew to L.A. to sign a record deal. And what is Wilhelm supposed to do with that.

In Another Life (E) @ungaroyals Wilhelm never returned to Hillerska after winter break, and he has spent his entire life regretting it. Nearly a decade later, he runs into Simon. He had hoped he'd successfully moved on from his feelings after all these years, but clearly, he was wrong. The two spend a passionate night together, expecting it to be their last. That is until it happens a second time when the two come arrangement that suits both their needs. Friends with benefits? No, they'd have to actually be friends for that to be the case. So this is it for this year. I must confess I did not have time to read everything. So if you have things that are missing in this list put them in the comments please. I also don't know everyones tumblr, so feel free to share with your mutuals.

The list from 2022 you can find here

[chicgeekgirl89]

Fandom: 911 Lone Star Summary: When Carlos receives a late night call from one of his sisters who is worried about the health of his nephew, T.K. doesn't hesitate to jump in and show the entire family why he's worthy of Carlos' love. Thanks to @carlos-tk, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @whatsintheboxmh, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @strandnreyes, @carlos-in-glasses, and @bonheur-cafe for the WIP Wednesday tags. I hope you will accept this instead, belated as it is! A/N: This is my 100th fic on AO3!! 🍾🍾🍾 (Not my 100th fic ever, many of them never made the transfer from ff.net, but still!) I've been sitting on this one for a while and seeing T.K. shine feels like it's worthy of being #100. Also Adriana and Francesca weren't supposed to be in this one, but they literally barged through those hospital doors and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I couldn't love them more!

Read on AO3

“Sooo…never again, right?” Carlos asks.

“Oh my god never again,” T.K. agrees fervently. “Why were the plates so weird? Some of them weren’t even plates at all. And the food was…bad.”

“So bad,” Carlos says. “Tiny and bad.”

“Three hours. We were there three hours,” T.K. says in disbelief as he slows down at a stoplight. “Why did we have to wait like thirty minutes between courses?”

“The menu said it was to give us time to renew our digestive energies and be more present in the dining experience,” Carlos says.

“I didn’t know my digestive energies needed to be renewed.”

“Me neither.”

It had taken them months to get a reservation at the trendiest new restaurant in town and they’d both been excited for the occasion. The menu promised a foodie paradise with unique dishes, creative presentation, and an emphasis on sustainability. They’d gotten dressed up and ready for a fun date night out only to be disappointed the moment they’d walked in the door. 

The place had been crowded, they were practically elbow to elbow with the tables next to them. Carlos had learned the intimate details of one couple’s fertility issues and another couple’s trouble with their neighbors.

Then the food had started coming and been a complete disaster. Carlos considered himself something of a foodie, and T.K.’s New Yorker palate had sampled a number of cuisines over the years, but this had been the worst food Carlos had ever eaten. He hadn’t been able to identify a single item on any of his plates and his tongue longed for something with even a hint of flavor. The plate that held a single, lukewarm radish had nearly been his undoing.

Overall it had been three hours of bland food, awkward company, and not at all what either of them had imagined.

“I’m starving. Can we please pick up something on the way home?” T.K. asks, his stomach letting out a gurgle as if to affirm his statement.

“God yes. I think Chu’s is still open, right?” 

Carlos pulls out his phone, but it lights up with a call before he can check to see Chu’s hours. “Why’s my sister calling?”

T.K. glances over at him. “Which one?”

“Lucía,” Carlos says. It’s not typical of his sister to call at this hour out of the blue and he feels his internal warning bells activate as he picks up the call. “Luci? Que pasó?”

“Hey Carlos,” she says, sounding tired and stressed. “Sorry for calling, I know it’s late.”

“It’s okay,” he says. “We’re just on our way home from dinner. What’s going on?”

“I don’t—I’m probably overreacting,” she says. “It’s just that Justin is out of town for work and I’m—“

Now he’s really worried. “Lucí, it’s okay. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Sebastian woke up sick a couple days. I didn’t think it was a big deal, both boys are sick all the time from daycare and school, but he wasn’t any better today, so I took him to the doctor. They said he’s fine, likely just a virus or something, but…his fever won’t break and he keeps saying his belly hurts.” 

Carlos can hear the deep seated worry in his sister’s voice and it rocks him to his core. His sister is an amazing mom, fearless and sure. To hear her so uncertain is throwing him off.

“I didn’t know if maybe T.K. could just give me some advice or something?” she says, ending it like a question.

He looks over at his fiancé. “What’s going on?” T.K. asks,.

“Sebastian’s sick,” Carlos says. “Do you mind?”

“No, no, put her on speaker,” T.K. says immediately, turning his eyes back to the road as the light changes.“Hey Lucía,” he says loudly so she can hear him.

“Hey T.K.,” she says. “I’m so sorry, I know people probably ask you for medical help all the time.”

“It’s not a problem. Tell me what’s going on,” T.K. says.

“He won’t eat, he’s barely drinking. His fever had been holding steady at around a hundred, but it just spiked up to one oh two. I’ve given him medicine, done cold washcloths, I don’t know what else to try.”

“And the doctor said what exactly?”

“That it’s probably a stomach virus,” Lucía says.

T.K. mulls that over for a minute. “Aren’t we like fifteen minutes from their place?” he asks Carlos.

Carlos nods. 

“Okay, Lucía we’re going to swing by, all right?” T.K. says, flipping his blinker on to get them turned around back the way they’d just come.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that—“

“We’re coming Luci,” Carlos says. “We’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, thank you,” she says, relief flooding her voice and loosening the knot of fear in Carlos’ chest.

He hangs up and looks at T.K. “It’s probably just a stomach bug.”

“Probably,” T.K. agrees. “But if it makes her feel better to have someone give her advice it’s worth going over.”

Carlos’ heart goes soft at those words. He’d never imagined he’d be with someone like T.K. Someone so kind and good, someone who would drive to his sister’s house at nine o’clock at night just to assuage her fears. It’s beyond his wildest dreams.

They pull into the driveway of the ranch style home about ten minutes later, T.K.’s ambulance driving having shaved a few minutes off their time and a few years off of Carlos’ life. At least they’re not driving the Camaro tonight so Carlos didn’t have to fear for the safety of his baby as they sped through yellow lights and weaved in and out of traffic.

Lucía opens the door before they even knock and the relief Carlos felt a few minutes ago evaporates at the sight of her worried face. She was holding back on the phone; in person she looks even more terrified and exhausted than she sounded. “Hey guys,” she says. “I’m so sorry to drag you all the way over here.”

“Stop apologizing,” Carlos admonishes her immediately as they step inside. “That’s what family is for.”

Sebastian lays on the couch in the living, looking younger and tinier than his six years, his face pale and drawn. There’s an episode of Paw Patrol playing on the television mounted above the fireplace and he has a blanket pulled all the way up to his chin. Carlos can see Fuzzy, his comfort bear, peeking out over the top. 

“Hey buddy,” he says, crouching down and giving his nephew a smile. “Tummy bothering you?”

Sebastian nods but doesn’t say anything, another sign that something is wrong. Usually he’s a chatterbox, happy to talk about school or his friends or soccer. Carlos smiles wider, despite the worry swirling in his gut, trying for calm and reassuring uncle. “Do you remember my boyfriend T.K.? From the party at Abuela and Abuelo’s house?” Carlos asks and Sebastian’s eyes move over his shoulder to where T.K. is standing behind him. He gets another nod.

“He’s going to take a look at you, okay?” Carlos says, standing up and moving back to where Lucía is anxiously hovering behind the couch so that T.K. has space to work.

“Hey Sebastian,” T.K. says as he takes Carlos’ spot. “You know I’m a paramedic, right?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian says, his voice small.

“Do you know what a paramedic does?”

“Help people feel better?”

T.K. smiles and nods. “That’s right. So let’s see if I can help you feel better, sound good?”

“Mhmm.”

“Awesome. Okay, I’m going to pull down the blanket and take a look. You tell me if anything hurts, all right?”

He gently pulls down the blanket and places his fingers on Sebastian’s wrist, looking at his watch while he does it. He pulls out a stethoscope he had in the car and listens to the little boy’s lungs, then takes his temperature with the thermometer Lucía has on the coffee table. He narrates quietly the entire time, letting Sebastian know what he’s doing as he does it.

“Okay, let’s see that belly,” he finally says with a smile.

He pulls up the top of Sebastian’s Power Rangers pajamas, talking to him softly while his hands palpate his abdomen. “You like Power Rangers huh? Which one is your favorite?”

“Red,” Sebastian says immediately. “He’s the head guy.”

“He is,” T.K. says. “I always liked the Green one though.”

Sebastian winces and makes a noise that breaks Carlos’ heart in half. T.K.’s hands immediately immediately stop. “Sorry buddy,” he says. “That hurt?”

Sebastian nods and T.K. gently puts his pajama shirt back into place. “I’m going to go talk to your mom and tío. You stay right here and make sure this couch doesn’t go anywhere, okay?”

He gets to his feet and nods toward the hallway where Carlos and Lucía follow him out of Sebastian’s earshot. “His pulse is a little fast and there is some tenderness in his abdomen,” T.K. says quietly. “That coupled with the fever and the lethargy is definitely concerning.”

Lucía puts her hand on Carlos’ arm and he covers it with his own in an attempt at reassurance. “So what should I do? Wait until the morning and see how he is? Give him more meds?” she asks.

“Considering his symptoms, I would recommend you take him to the ER,” T.K. says gently.

She blows out a breath as Carlos’ stomach drops. “Okay,” she says. “Okay um, okay. I’ll just wake up Nicholas and…”

“No, no, no,” Carlos says quickly. “No I’ll call Mom and ask her to come be with Nicky. I’ll stay until she gets here.”

“And I’ll go with you to the ER,” T.K. offers. “I can walk you through all the paperwork, field questions from the doctors, whatever you need.”

“Seriously?” Lucía looks teary eyed. “You’ll come?”

“Of course,” T.K. says. “Why don’t you go grab whatever might help keep him calm while we’re there? iPad or a book maybe. It could be a long wait.”

“Okay, right. Yes. Give me like five minutes and I’ll be ready,” she says, rushing off to go gather supplies.

“What are you thinking?” Carlos asks immediately.

T.K. has his neutral paramedic face on, but Carlos has learned to read between the lines. “I’m thinking it could be a number of things,” T.K. says. “Just a stomach bug maybe, but even if it is I think he’s dehydrated. And given his symptoms and the decline, I’m also worried about an impacted or perfed bowel or maybe even appendicitis.”

“How worried?” 

T.K. blows out a breath. “Worried enough that I wouldn’t wait until the morning to try and get him some treatment.”

His words unlock a whole new level of fear that Carlos has never experienced before, and it takes a lot for him to stay calm as he calls his mom and explains the situation. Lucía returns with a tote bag full of supplies and T.K. scoops up Sebastian, carrying him out to the car with Lucía on his heels. 

“Mom says she’ll be here in fifteen minutes. I’ll be right behind you,” Carlos promises as T.K. sets Sebastian gently in the backseat, pillowing his head on Lucía’s lap.

“Can you call Justin?” Lucía asks, looking like she’s barely holding it together. “He knows Sebby’s sick but I want him to know we’re heading to the ER.”

“Yes,” Carlos says. “I’ll call him as soon as I’m back inside.”

“Hey,” T.K. catches his eye as he climbs into the driver’s seat. “I’ve got them, okay?”

“I know you do,” Carlos says and then the door is shut and they’re gone, leaving him standing in the driveway, his heart in his stomach.

He trudges back into the house and sinks onto the couch, eyes glued to Nicholas’ sleeping form on the baby monitor. He’s not a parent, so why does this feel so awful?

It takes him a minute to emotionally prepare for this phone call and he has to take a deep breath before tapping Justin’s name on his screen. 

It rings and rings and then sends him to voicemail, so he tries again. And again. The third time, Justin finally picks up.

“Dude, if this is a butt dial I’m going to kill you,” his brother-in-law says groggily.

Carlos forgot that it’s nearly midnight on the east coast right now. “Justin,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady.

“What’s wrong? Are Lucía and the boys okay?” Justin immediately sounds more awake now that he’s heard Carlos’ voice.

“Everyone’s safe,” Carlos tells him quickly. “I’m at your place with Nicholas because Sebastian’s feeling worse. She and T.K. are on the way to the ER with him.”

There’s a pause, Carlos can practically feel Justin’s panic through the phone. “Okay, um, okay,” he finally says. “Shit, I’m in Atlanta. There won’t be any flights for hours…”

“My mom’s on her way here to stay with Nicholas,” Carlos says. “I’ll head to the hospital and keep you updated, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, um, thanks Carlos,” Justin says, sounding a little hoarse. “Please um, please tell them I love them, okay? And that I’ll be on the first flight out I can get.”

“I will.”

He hangs up just as the front door opens and his mom comes in. “Carlitos,” she says softly and he immediately gets up to hug her. “How is Sebby?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not sure. They probably just got to the ER, it could be hours before we know anything.”

“And Lucía?”

“She’s worried,” he says. 

“As are we all,” she says, empathy all over her face. “T.K. went with her?”

“Yeah, he said he’d help with things there.”

She smiles softly and touches his face. “You picked a good one mijo. Not every man would drop everything to help his boyfriend’s family.”

There’s a lump in Carlos throat and he struggles to speak past it. “I know.”

“You should get going.”

“Okay. Nicholas is asleep in his crib. I called Justin, he’s working on getting a flight back.”

She nods. “Keep me posted.”

“I will.”

The drive to the hospital is so lonely and silent that it makes each minute feel even longer beneath the glow of the streetlights. How on earth did he go from having dinner with his boyfriend to taking his nephew to the ER? It’s ridiculous. They should be home right now, cuddling on the couch or the bed, watching some stupid show that neither of them really cares about because what they’re actually interested in is making out with each other.

Instead he’s about to spend hours in a hard plastic chair praying that a six year old he loves dearly is going to be all right.

He’s so anxious to get there that he doesn’t realize until he’s through the doors that he has no idea where he’s going. Or even if they’re gong to let him stay. Surely they’re not going to let three adults hang out in the ER in the middle of the night when one would suffice. 

He forgot he has T.K. Strand in his corner.

“How can I help you?” the nurse asks when he steps up to the counter.

“I’m here for my nephew? Sebastian Bryant? He came in with my sister,” Carlos says, feeling awkward.

“Oh you’re Carlos,” she says immediately. “T.K.’s boyfriend.”

“I—yeah,” Carlos says, surprised by her familiarity.

“I’m Stella. It’s so nice to finally meet you, although I wish it wasn’t because your nephew’s in here. T.K. talks about you all the time.”

“He does?”

“Oh my god, try getting him to stop. Carlos this, my boyfriend that, and now I see why. You two are gorgeous together,” she says, flashing him a smile. “Here come with me. I’ll take you to them. Darlene? Can you cover the desk?”

Stella takes him down a hall, past the general area of the ER to a more closed off section. It’s not a room, but it’s quieter here, and Carlos can hear T.K.’s voice even before Stella pulls back the curtain to reveal him.

“Found someone who belongs to you,” Stella says.

T.K.’s eyes find him, soft and relieved. “Hey, I was just about to text you an update. Thanks so much Stella.”

“No problem. I’m going to check and see where we’re at with the tests and then I’ll be back.”

“How’s it going?” Carlos asks quietly.

Sebastian is asleep in the bed, an IV in his arm and Fuzzy tucked in beside him. Lucía is sitting in a chair next to him, his little fingers curled around hers.

“They’re going to take him for a CT as soon as one opens up,” she says quietly. “He was crying when we got here, but they gave him some pain medication and he fell asleep like ten minutes ago.”

“Good,” Carlos says in relief. It feels so much better to know that there are people actively working to help Sebastian. “Nicholas is with Mom, he was still asleep when I left. And Justin’s getting on the first flight he can in the morning.”

“Okay.”

Lucía’s face crumples and she immediately puts her hands over her mouth to stifle a sob. T.K. looks at Carlos. “I’m going to go grab us some coffee,” he says, slipping discreetly out of the room.

Carlos squats down by his sister’s chair and puts a hand on her knee. She immediately covers it with her own and squeezes. “I’m sorry,” she says. “He just—he’s so little. He was so scared when we got here, it’s so bright and they put in the IV and he cried and I just, I need Justin to be here, because I am not strong enough for this.”

“He’s coming,” Carlos says. “He’s coming as fast as he can. And until he does I’m here, all right? I’m here with you and Mom is with Nicholas. Sebastian is going to be fine. He’s scared, but you’re taking such great care of him. You are an amazing mom. You’re doing everything right.”

She nods a couple times, clearly trying to internalize his words before taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes. “You know um, T.K. is pretty amazing too,” she tells him, wiping at her eyes. “I thought we’d be here for hours before we got answers, but he called ahead in the car and that nurse, Stella, was waiting for us. As soon as we were in the door they were drawing blood and starting tests. It’s like they rolled out the red carpet.” She nods toward the doorway. “Not everyone would do that kind of thing for someone they barely know.”

“That’s T.K.,” Carlos says, warmth blooming through his chest at her words. “He’s…incredible.”

“You know, I already liked him a lot, but now…” She quirks a smile. “You’d better hold onto him.”

Carlos nods, heart fluttering away in his chest. “That’s the plan.”

T.K. comes back with coffee right about the same time someone shows up to take Sebastian for his CT scan. He’s unhappy to be woken up, but mollified when Carlos promises to take him for ice cream once a week for the next month. 

The nurse is incredible, telling Sebastian he’s going to go on a ride in a spaceship, although that does nothing to help Carlos’ heart when they start the sedation and he watches Sebastian’s eyelids flutter shut, his body going limp in a weirdly unnatural way. He’s gone for over an hour, all of them sipping tepid hospital coffee in a desperate attempt not to fall asleep as the clock ticks later and later. 

When the orderly returns with him he’s completely zonked out and Carlos hopes he’ll stay that way. It’s not long after that an ER doctor shows up and informs them that the CT scan is indicating appendicitis, despite Sebastian’s slightly atypical presentation of symptoms. Lucía takes the news better than Carlos thought she might, she’s clearly relieved to have an answer and a defined course of action, even if it does mean a surgery they’re told is being scheduled for the early hours of the morning. Someone will be by soon to get them admitted and transferred to a room for the night.

“You guys should go home” she says. “You’ve done more than enough, really. He’s just going to sleep until it’s time for surgery and they’re not going to let you come into the room with us anyway.”

“Don’t worry about them kicking us out,” T.K. says immediately. “If you want us to stay that won’t be a problem.”

She smiles at him. “You’ve done more than enough tonight. I’ll be fine. I promise. Go home and get some sleep.”

Carlos is reluctant to leave her, but she’s right. There’s no point in staying when it’s so late and nothing is going to happen until morning anyway. The moment of crisis is past and now there’s nothing to do but wait.

“I’ll come back in the morning for his surgery,” Carlos says.

“You don’t have to—“ She must catch the look of determination in his eyes because she cuts herself off and nods. “Okay. Thank you.”

He stands and she meets him with a brief hug before she turns to T.K. “I really can’t thank you enough. I don’t think I would have made it tonight without you T.K.,” she says.

“Yes you would have,” he says graciously. “But I’m glad I could help. If anything changes in the night you have my number, don’t be afraid to call.”

“I will.” 

Carlos can’t help but notice that T.K. gets a slightly longer hug than he did and the warm feeling in his chest only intensifies. He reaches for T.K.’s hand as they head out into the hall and T.K. gives him a tired smile in return. “Oh, hang on one second,” he says as they pass the nurses station, letting go of Carlos’ hand. “I’ll be right back.”

He jogs over and flashes that winning smile again at the nurse who’s there, not Stella this time, and chats with her for a minute before returning to Carlos’ side. “What was that about?” Carlos asks, interlacing their fingers together again.

“I just wanted to make sure they put Sebastian in a private room,” T.K. says. “They have the space, Natalie says it won’t be a problem.”

“Natalie huh?” Carlos says as they exit the automatic doors and head for the darkened parking structure. “She also falls victim to your beautiful eyes and charming smile?”

“Victim?” T.K. scoffs. “No one is a victim. I have paid for these hospital perks with dozens of coffees and donuts and muffins and even the occasional Target run. This is just good natured southern kindness being returned.”

Carlos laughs out loud. “Right. Not a single bit of it has to do with your innate charm and that smile that brings people to their knees and makes them feel like they’re only person you’ve ever cared about.”

“I mean, it had to start somewhere,” T.K. says, flashing him that exact smile. “But we’ve come a long way since then.”

“Well thank you,” Carlos says, meaning it from the bottom of his heart. “I honestly I don’t how to say thank you enough. My family is…they’re so important to me and I…”

“Hey.” T.K. tugs him to a stop and meets his gaze under the half light of the parking garage. “They’re important to me too.”

The drive home is blessedly short and they fall into bed exhausted at around midnight only to wake up again at five to head back over to the hospital. Carlos tells T.K. he doesn’t have to come, but the look he gets shuts him up immediately. T.K. is clearly invested. 

They stop for coffee on the way, real, decent coffee, and some bagels, plus a cake pop for Sebastian after surgery. 

He gets a text update as they’re pulling up to the hospital again; Justin is on a flight and should get there by the time the surgery is over. It’s a relief to know his sister will have her support to lean on again in the near future. 

Once they arrive Carlos sits back and watches in wonder as T.K. works his magic. Someone shows up to give Sebastian not one, not two, but three different stuffed toys along with a coloring pack and some Hot Wheels cars. T.K. sits down on his bed and explains the whole surgery in terms a six year old an understand, and when the time comes, Sebastian is whisked off without a single tear.

He’s seen T.K. at work before, but this is an entirely different level of incredible. He knows almost every nurse, every doctor, every orderly that they see, and if he doesn’t, by the time they leave he’s made them feel like an old friend. People can’t seem to do enough for him. 

Justin gets there about twenty minutes after the surgery starts, exhausted and haggard looking, his collared shirt buttoned the wrong way and his hair looking like he didn’t even comb it. T.K. somehow procures fresh, non-cafeteria coffee for him, whispering something about the doctor’s lounge, as well as a banana and a granola bar. 

Everything goes exactly as expected and soon enough the doctor is back to let them know that Sebastian was a champ during surgery and they expect a quick recovery. Lucía and Justin head back to wait with him until the sedation wears off, while Carlos and T.K. continue hanging out in the waiting room until Sebastian can have more visitors.

When Carlos hears a loud commotion behind him, he knows without even looking that reinforcements have arrived. Adriana and Francesca have shown up with more balloons than a circus, a gigantic stuffed bear, and several bags of god only knows what else. “Oh my god, Cesca don’t let them float away,” Adriana is saying as they try and get through the automatic doors that keep closing before all the balloons can make it through.

“I’m not!” Francesca snaps back. “It’s the stupid doors! You could like try to help!”

“With what hands?” Adriana cries, her arms full of stuffed bear.

“Ah, perfect,” Carlos says weakly, looking at T.K. who is already smiling at his sister and cousin’s antics.

“Carlos! Get over here!” Francesca barks and he stands with a sigh, going to help her get in the doorway. 

“Hello, good morning, how are you guys doing?” Carlos prompts as he grabs the brightly colored strings and yanks them inside, the balloons bopping along behind and nearly smacking an elderly woman in the face.

“I mean you’re both awake and have coffee, so I assume you’re fine,” she tells him as she plonks into a seat across from T.K.

“Yeah, geez, way to make our nephew’s surgery about you,” Adriana says with a roll of her eyes. 

Carlos doesn’t bother to remind her that technically Sebastian is a cousin to her, not a nephew; labels other than “familia” ceased to have any meaning to them long ago. “So what’s the deal? Is he okay?” Francesca asks.

“The surgery went well,” T.K. says. “Sebastian’s appendix didn’t rupture, so the chances of infection are low. He should be able to head home in a day or so.”

“Phew. Poor little dude. This sucks,” Francesca says.

“But he’s okay,” Adriana says. “That’s what’s important. Everyone is okay. And all his friends are going to be very jealous when he gets back to school.”

She opens one of the bags and pulls out a tray of something that immediately fills the air with the scent of tomatoes and cheese. “Why do you have tamales?” Carlos asks. “It’s ten am.”

“Because Mom told us to go by the house and bring them over,” Francesca says. “She doesn’t, and I quote, ‘want anyone eating that hospital garbage, it will rot their stomachs.’”

“Sounds like your mom,” T.K. says with a cheeky smile as he reaches for one of the tamales. 

“We also have…taquitos, mac and cheese for Sebastian, and…arroz con pollo,” Francesca says, checking the other bags. 

“Your mom just had this all on hand?” T.K. asks, his mouth full.

“Tía Andrea always has everything on hand,” Adriana says.

Despite his initial scoffing, by the time Justin comes back an hour later to tell them Sebastian is up for visitors, Carlos has eaten three tamales, half a dozen taquitos, and a plateful of arroz con pollo. Apparently hospitals make him hungry. They’ve also fed four nurses and an orderly that T.K. knows, and they haven’t even put a dent in what’s there. 

Justin looks a little less of a mess now, he’s clearly spent some time in front of a mirror and his shirt is buttoned the right way now. He’s smiling in spite of the tiredness in his eyes, which widen in delight at the sight of the food. “Oh thank god for Andrea,” he says, immediately reaching for a taquito. 

“Hey, how do you know it wasn’t us?” Adriana asks, clearly offended.

Justin fixes her with a look and she shrugs. “I mean, yeah it was Tía Andrea, but we’re the ones that brought it over here,” she says.

“Thank you for your service,” Justin says around a mouthful.

“How’s Sebastian?” Francesca asks.

“Better than Lucía or me,” he says. “He says it barely hurts and he’s very excited to have a cool scar.” He looks at T.K. “Apparently you’ve really made this hospital experience feel like a vacation T.K.”

“I’m just glad he’s doing all right,” T.K. says. 

“Can we see him?” Carlos asks. 

“Yeah,” Justin says. “Lucí sent me to get you all.”

“Well then let’s get this party moved!” Francesca says, closing up the tupperware with incredible speed built from years of cleaning up house parties and hiding the evidence before their parents got home.

They make quite a parade marching through the pediatric wing of the hospital with balloons and bears and food galore. But then, the Reyes clan usually does. They’re not exactly known for being a calm and quiet bunch.

Sebastian is sitting up in bed eating a popsicle, looking like the happiest human alive even with an IV in his arm and stitches in his side. “Sebby!” Francesca says happily. “You’re looking good there buddy!”

“You brought me balloons?” he asks as Lucía quickly rescues his popsicle, which is in danger of falling to the floor.

“We brought you balloons and a bear and macaroni and cheese from Abuela,” Adriana tells him.

“Can I have mac and cheese right now?” he asks Lucía.

“Let’s maybe wait until after the doctor comes by again,” she says.

“But then I can have it? And the ice cream Tío Carlos promised me?”

It gets a chuckle from everyone in the room. 

The women start to fuss, setting up the balloons and bear in the best possible place, but Carlos’ eyes are on T.K. who is not-so-subtly checking out all the monitors and lines, ensuring that things are exactly as they should be. God, he loves this man. He loves him more than he thought he could ever love a human being.

“Well this looks like a party!” A man whose name tag identifies him as Dr. Nguyen, comes into the room, iPad in hand. Carlos assumes this must be the surgeon. “Sebastian who are all these fine people who came to visit you?”

“This is my Tía Cesca and my Tía Adriana. They brought me balloons,” Sebastian says, pointing to them in turn. 

“Well that’s very nice.”

“And that’s my Tío Carlos,” Sebastian says.

“Oh, is this the Tío you were telling me about? The one who’s a paramedic and helped you feel better?”

“No, my Tío Carlos is just a police officer,” Sebastian says. “My Tío T.K. is the one who’s a paramedic.” He turns his head to look at where T.K. is standing next to his IV pole. “Paramedics help people feel better. Right Tío?”

T.K. freezes for a second, his eyes locking with Carlos’. “Um, yeah,” he says finally. “Yes, that’s right. Paramedics help people. And then doctors help them even more.”

“Yeah, Dr. Nguyen took my appendix out,” Sebastian says. He looks the doctor square in the face. “My mom says you have to tell me if I can have mac and cheese or not.”

Dr. Nguyen laughs. “I can do that. Let’s give you a little check up and see.”

“We’ll give you some privacy,” Francesca says, which is hilarious given that she hasn’t let anyone have a single minute of privacy since the day she was born.

They step out into the hall, Adriana and Francesca immediately abandoning T.K. and Carlos to go look for hot doctors. Carlos runs a hand through his curls and looks at where his boyfriend is leaning up against the wall. “Well I guess we know who his new favorite tío is,” he says.

T.K. looks up, uncharacteristically nervous. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. You’re not just a police officer.”

Carlos chuckles. “Oh I’m sure he meant it exactly like that. Tío Carlos is just a tío who wrestles and gives him ice cream. Tío T.K. saves lives. You made an impression.”

T.K. blushes. “I’m glad I could help.” His gaze softens. “I can’t believe he called me tío.”

And despite the fact that no one in the family has ever referred to T.K. that way before, Carlos isn’t surprised in the least. “Is that okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” T.K. says quickly. “Yeah I—as long as you and your family are okay with it. I don’t…I wouldn’t want him to be confused.”

“He’s not confused.” Carlos’ words are soft and he reaches down, intertwining their fingers. “I don’t think anybody is confused anymore about why you’re so important to me.”

T.K. meets his gaze and Carlos feels like he can see all the way into the vulnerability at the core of this man who came here so broken and lost, and is just starting to figure out how vital he is to everyone around him. Carlos leans in and their lips meet, soft and sweet. It’s not enough to really say thank you, he’s not sure he can ever truly find a way, but in this moment he knows he’ll try. Everyday for the rest of his life if he needs to.

The door to Sebastian’s room opens and Carlos reluctantly pulls back, keeping their hands firmly clasped even when T.K. starts to pull away a little. “Bad news,” Lucía says. “Mac and cheese is off the table until tomorrow. T.K., he would like to know if you have any connections that can get him jello instead. But only the red kind. Not the green.”

“Absolutely,” T.K. says, already pulling out his phone to send a text. “Red jello coming right up.”

Carlos shakes his head and smiles as they reenter the room, Sebastian’s face lighting up when he sees T.K. again. Carlos has always thought T.K. seemed like magic. And now everyone else can see it too.

[chronicallyonline101]

hey king can you write me a Doppio x Diavolo fic where diavolo thinks that he finally escaped the death loop and can apologise for not even saying goodbye, only to be killed by Doppio, (smut/j) thanks xoxo

THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN DO!

It's a bit rushed cuz i wrote it in class but i hope you like it !!! :D

Diavolo x Doppio - Nothing Matters.

Was there such a thing as infinity?

How many times must one perish before they've done it all; before they've experienced every death there is to have; all the pain that is to be inflicted?

Diavolo had done it all - couldn't count how many times he'd died. How many times had he been stabbed? Mauled? Dissected? Run over? Diseased? Frozen? Impaled? How many times had he found himself cut into little pieces? Shot? Battered? Even the things that seemed impossible, like spontaneous combustion, or melting on the spot - Diavolo, as a matter of fact, had done it all.

It was a repetitive cycle of life, pain and death.

At first it had been torment. Torture; both physical and psychological. Could you imagine that kind of suffering? To wake up each morning and know for certain that death awaits you? To have your insides torn out piece by piece, to drown in a pool of your own blood, to feel all that pain, every stab, every pinch and to remember each and every single instance... Diavolo could. He had. In fact, he'd come to expect it.

It had been so, so long that he had grown numb to the fear.

Ever day, he woke up and was overcome with a profound sense of emptiness. He knew what would come. What else could he do but lie and accept his fate?

At the back of his head there was a nagging hope that maybe, sometime soon, 'infinity' would end. Surely, there wasn't such a thing as 'infinite deaths', at some point he'd experience them all, right? He hoped that at some point it would end, that this would all end and that he would be tossed into the fiery pits of Hell - but with each day, each new loop, this hope was diminished. Squashed beneath the weight of the Grim Reaper and his sick games. With each new day, he experienced yet another death.

That is what he had expected when waking up that morning.

Diavolo felt himself arise beneath the hot Italian sun. His body lay atop of a soft mound of dirt, gentle blades of grass brushing the sore flesh of his skin and making his sensitive muscles twitch. There was a groan, and his eyes fluttered open; a vibrant brushy green that contrasted well with the gold of the sky. The day was hot, for October - not that he knew the date - and it wilted pale tulips and vibrant roses. It was hot. So hot that for a moment he half thought he would be set ablaze right then and there. It wouldn't be anything knew - he'd died that way around about sixty-two times, not that he was counting.

But, the longer he sat there, sweating beneath the sky, the more hope began to swell within his bosom. Like a golden ray of the sun, glowing brightly in what was the carcass of his heart, he began to realise that nothing was happening at all.

He sat upright. His long, pink hair - knotty and matted from lack of care - swayed atop of his shoulders. He sat. He sat and he waited for the bitter grip of death to take him; but it never came. No shrieks. No cars. No trains. There was no sound of a blade being unsheathed from its case, no buzz of a chainsaw and no manic laugh of a killer clown - which had happened before, by the way. No, there was none of that, just a serene sense of calm. The rattling of tall grass against the breeze, the crow of a bird and the hum of a bee settling into an open tulip.

This was... alarming. With eyes splayed wide, Diavolo jerked his head back and forth to survey the area; he was in an empty field of flowers, tulips, roses and lilies of the valleys dusted the landscape in the soft tones of white, pink and red. And though he had once thought he was alone, he quickly learnt that this was not the case, for in the distance he could see a lone, wandering figure.

Slender, yet tall, dressed in colours that matched the soft landscape around them and tipped with pretty, pink hair that had been coiled into a strange sort of bun and --- Oh. Oh my God.

Diavolo scrambled to his feet, his once empty heart filled with an urgency he had not felt since being subjected to the wrath of Golden Experience Requiem.

Was that him?

Was that really him?

Was it actually Doppio?

Since entering the loop, Diavolo had done a lot of running - for his life, mostly - but now he was running for the man he had once loved. The man that he had never stopped loving, even as he was left to die over and over again.

His heart pounded in his chest, and as he neared this odd man he realised that it in fact was his sweet Doppio. By the shoulder, he grabbed him, and swiftly turned to look him deep in those doeish brown eyes he had never once had the privilege of looking into before.

And there he was; his tan, freckled face framed by tousled pink locks. His eyes wide and confused. His lips parted to speak out against this sudden intrusion, but he was cut off by a startled Diavolo, who with a voice hoarse from pleading for his own life, blubbered and sobbed;

"Doppio," He gripped his shoulders as if there was nothing else to hold onto in the entire world. "My dear Doppio..."

"It's you..." Doppio spoke, there was recognition in his voice. He called Diavolo's name, and in his heightened state of relief it didn't once register to Diavolo that logically, Doppio shouldn't know his name. He'd never learnt it. Only heard the voice of his overly affectionate Boss through the echo of a faux phone.

"It's me, and it's really you." Overwhelmed with joy, Diavolo pulled Doppio closer by his shoulders, and in turn, Doppio placed his hands atop of his Boss' narrow jawline; cupping his face with adoration and pressing their foreheads together. There was a crooked smile across his lips, finding humour in the bated breaths Diavolo let out.

"You finally made it." He cooed, and slowly, he let go of Diavolo. There was a silent complaint from the latter, who wished to hold on for a little longer, but when Doppio took his hand in his and began leading him along, Diavolo had no gripes. "Come with me."

As he was being lead along, he took a moment to glance around. To really take in his surroundings; the sky was golden, with puffy white clouds. The ground mottled with pastels. It was picturesque; it was perfect. This place, with Doppio, was perfection. And as a small, rotund table came into view - adorned in a gingham cloth, with a little tea set at its top, Diavolo began to realise that this may be it.

Had he finally reached the end? Was this it?

Here, with Doppio, was this his final destination? Heaven, is what it was. Though he had once been certain he would never reach the pearly gates, here he was, with the man he loved.

Doppio sat at the table with a smile, and offered Diavolo the spot opposite him. He took it with glee, slowly and with care, now that he knew there was nothing but bliss awaiting him ahead.

But, a frown soon overcame his features. A sorrowful, regretful thing, and it quickly spread to Doppio.

"What's wrong, Boss?" He spoke, not a lilt of malice or anger in his tone which only served to upset Diavolo more. He watched, with sad green eyes as Doppio poured the two of them tea - sugar, and milk, stirred together in the way Diavolo liked.

"I'm... sorry." He was quiet. His tone so hushed it was near a whisper. Doppio cocked his head to the side; a question, pushing Diavolo to continue. "I'm sorry... for everything... for ruining your life, for turning you into my personal puppet. You didn't deserve that."

There was a short pause. Doppio continued to stare at Diavolo, his longing gaze not faltering for even a moment before he continued;

"And I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye to you."

Ah, there it was. A flash of hurt behind Doppio's gaze.

Doppio had liked working for Diavolo. He had enjoyed each and every little conversation they had over the phone, he had liked how easy the life was - aside from major tousles and injuries - and he had loved his Boss. What had hurt him, was dying alone. In a body that was not his, Doppio felt himself go cold, he felt himself drift away and though he called and cried for his Boss; Diavolo never came to save him.

But they were here, together, right now. That's all that mattered, right?

"It's okay." Doppio spoke, his tone unnatural.

"It's not, though. I should have tried to save you, but instead... I was so caught up with myself I ran away to pursue those... those---!" He was working himself up, only eased by the sound of Doppio's gentle laugh.

"Just drink your tea." He mumbled, a smile plastered across his lips. He took a sip of his own beverage, tongue poking out playfully as he savoured the taste. Diavolo's gaze softened on him, loving and content.

He could apologise properly later. He had all the time in the world now, after all. It was strange to think that he had finally escaped that death loop. To think that he would no longer need to wake up with a sour feeling of emptiness in his heart, knowing that now he could live out each day to its fullest without the threat of impending doom. Perhaps he needed that loop. It had taught him to be more appreciative of the little things in life - like this tea, that he blew at to clear the smoke before taking a delicate sip and... ew.

It was gross. Acrid, and bitter, with an aftertaste that burnt at his tongue. Initially, he spat it out, which only served to make Doppio frown.

"Do you not like it?" He had asked, and out of pity, Diavolo shook his head.

"No, no. I love it. Apologies, it was just hot."

He took another sip, but the bitter taste remained. Doppio watched with wide, sad eyes, and as a means to make him happy, Diavolo took one big gulp. Downing the entire cup in one fell swoop. It seeped down his throat and left a burning sensation in its wake, causing him to wince in pain. He brought a hand up to his chest to try and ease the pain.

"I'm so glad you're enjoying." Doppio then smiled, and brought the teapot up to refill his cup. "Do you want another?"

But he did not bother waiting for Diavolo's answer, already pouring another round of the sour liquid into his cup. Diavolo winced, suddenly finding his voice hoarse.

"D---opp-io..." He croaked.

His spit foamed at the edges of his mouth; bile rising to the back of his throat as his body tried to reject the poison that had now settled into his system. There was a gurgling in his gut, burning and bubbling. He wheezed, wincing and panting hard as he tried so desperately to fight off the sudden nausea that overcame his body.

He looked to Doppio, but only saw a husk of what was once the man he loved. And as his eyes closed yet again, ready to embrace the release of death; Diavolo realised that of course this would happen. It always happened, in the end. It was infinity, after all, and it seemed that just as he was getting used to the rhythm of dying over and over again the loop adapted to ensure that his torment was endless.

And though Diavolo was disappointed that his torture had yet to end, there was a flicker of hope within him that perhaps, if this loop was truly infinite, he would see Doppio again in this maze of demise.

i hope this is good :D if u want me to change anything i can !

---

they never even got to say they loved each other :(

maybe if im feeling nice i'll post the version where they get freaky instead and diavolo has a heart attack at the end.

[tragicforestsaints]

Why are you guys so mean to Jeff?

Real talk, I'm getting incredibly sick of everybody shitting on Jeff?? Hear me out for a minute, okay, I'm just as jackieshauna as the rest of you, but I feel like we didn't see the same man with the amount of hate about him. He is the epitome of dumb golden retriever boyfriend, and I think that he made some really stupid mistakes. But he genuinely loves Shauna. I think a lot about what it must have been like for all of them when they got back, including him. I think he loved both of them, and I'm sure it was a really sad and strange experience for him. Two girls went away and only one came back, forever changed, wilder. I imagine all the girls must have been a little wild even after being rescued, I would imagine Jeff would have to coax Shauna into talking, into letting him comfort her, tentatively. She's haunted by guilt and by Jackie, the desire to consume the girl in every way she could, including the boy that's now in love with her. She already had his baby, one she couldn't bring back, one she couldn't even truly talk to him about because of the pact with the others. I would imagine she was incredibly lonely, and he probably helped, in a way. Hypotheticals about what it was like when they got back aside, I feel like it's insane to ignore him staying with her despite finding out not only what she did in the woods, but also about her present antics??? trying to save her, unconditionally at every turn, going as far as to try and turn himself in for her???? THE INCIDENT WITH JACKIES PARENTS??? HELLO???? I feel like some of u just hate him because jackieshauna.

[cottoncandy-cult]

First Time Father

Mikoto Suoh X Daughter! Reader

This man will be the death of me, he is like on the complete opposite of Kyojuro and it's so funny to love them both.

The 9-year-old girl sat quietly in an empty bar, her "family" had gone for a walk, but she had chosen to stay behind. She didn't like public places and the streets of Japan were always so crowded and loud, Anna had gone with them, and Tatara had stayed behind to watch the little (H/c) head. She took much more after her mother as far as physical appearance, at least that was what she had always been told. Her mother had died giving birth to her, the woman was small and fragile. Though she never thought much about her mother, the woman was gone, and she had enough family that it never occurred to her that anyone was missing. Though lately she had begun to feel lonely, everyone seemed to gravitate to Anna even her father.

She liked the blonde girl and had become friends with her, they were close in age and sometimes it seemed like Anna remembered that she existed more often than the others. It seemed like no one had noticed that she hadn't spoken in a week, when home with the red clan she was usually like any other child, but she had begun to turn shy even here. "Are you ok (Y/n)? You look pretty deep in thought." Tatara's warm voice came from her left and had startled the girl, making her jolt in her spot on the couch. (E/c) eyes met chocolaty orbs, the first thing she noticed was that the male had a concerned smile on his face. The young girl slowly nodded, averting her eyes to her lap. She wore a long sleeved loose black top with a (F/c) flannel mini skirt, along with knee length black leggings and white socks.  It was an outfit Kusanagi had gotten for her birthday the previous year, and it was one of her favorites.

Tatara slowly sat beside her; the blonde male tried to start a conversation with her, but she wouldn't respond. She couldn't respond, she didn't know what to say. For her everything in the world felt grey and hazy, every day ran into the next and it felt like any opinion or thought she would have was dead in the water. After 30 minutes of trying, he had given up, going to get a drink from the kitchen in back. It was soon after that the others got back, and everyone went to their usual spots. Quickly and without a sound (Y/n) went up to her room, she grabbed her phone and headphones before proceeding up to the roof. The young (H/c) head made herself comfortable on the ground and leaned back against the bench that looked over the city, easily picking a playlist on her phone and relaxing in the lunch time sun light.

Though she looked like her mother the others said that she was like her father in personality, she wasn't sure what they had meant as she didn't think she was anything like her dad. (Y/n) gave a sigh and tilted her head back, (E/c) eyes closing as she relaxed into the warm breeze.

-

-

-

Mikoto sat on the couch and stared at the clock, the male was vaguely aware of his daughter's change in behavior as of late. Though he wasn't sure if he was just imagining things or not, lately he had felt sick when his thoughts drifted to how long it had been since she was at his side. At first, he thought she was just becoming more independent, but now he wasn't so sure as she virtually never left the bar now. His amber eyes drifted to Tatara who had sat down beside him, the dusty blonde male stared at the ground sadly. "(Y/n) isn't talking anymore... I thought she had gotten quiet but... Today she was almost dazed, I tried for a half hour to get her to say something, but she'd just shrug her shoulders. I'm worried Mikoto..."

That made the red head sigh, his own inclinations being confirmed in that moment. He sat up straight and lit himself a cigarette, in silence he began making his way to the stairs. Tatara smiled a bit; it's been a while since their king had stepped down from the battle horse. Anna watched quietly from the bar, sipping a drink Kusanagi had made her. (Y/n) was her friend and she understood what the girl was feeling, the young blonde hoped that Mikoto could make the young girl go back to how she used to be.

The red-haired king made his way to the roof, amber orbs taking a moment to adjust to the light as he scanned the barren area before they settled on the small form of his little girl. His footsteps were slow as he thought of her mother, he loved the woman like no other and losing her had hurt him deeply. For so long he had babied his daughter, the little girl had been his world. He wasn't sure why or when it had changed, but it shouldn't have. He sat on the bench and watched her a moment, his cigarette rested between his lips as he reached a warm hand down and ran it through her hair. (E/c) eyes drifted open expecting to see Anna or Tatara, both had a habit of playing with her (H/L) (H/c) hair.

Though she was visibly confused when seeing her father and slowly removed one of her headphones, making the male look in her eyes and sigh. "You need to cheer up... You aren't old enough to be this antisocial yet... " She raised an eyebrow, watching him as he closed his eyes and ran a hand through his own hair. "I screwed up and just kinda left you hanging... I'm sorry about that, it won't be happening again though... The others are starting to notice, I don't feel like being beheaded for abandoning one of their princesses." He stood with a groan and stretched, looking down at her. "Now we're ordering American for lunch, do you want pizza?... Use your words." He closed his eyes and turned to walk away, hearing her quiet footsteps shuffle behind him as she followed. "Yes please..." That made the male nod, as he walked and listening to the soft tap of her own footsteps behind him. "Good, now think about what kinda toppings you want before we get down to the bar. You know how Kusanagi gets when he's taking orders." He was surprised when feeling a soft hand grab his own, followed by a quiet "ok". He smiled to himself and flicked his cigarette over the edge of the roof, holding her tiny hand in his as they made their way downstairs. It wasn't much, but it was progress to getting things back in order.

[crushedsweets]

so I can't find it, but when the proxies were helping clocks, you mentioned that Tim doesn't like it when she screams or cries. Something about it bothering him. I wish I could recall.

OK SO i also cant find the post (cuz of tumblrs tagging system) buuut i'm gonna use this to ramble about clocky meeting the proxies again, since i sorta adjusted it...

in my au, O/S syndrome refers to slender sickness. it usually starts with the operator taking COMPLETE control over someone's body and mind, and then slenderman 'stealing' them and making them do his bidding (clean up operator problems) which results in them having a 'proxy mode' vs their 'normal' mode

so clockys backstory goes as usual, then towards the end she starts slowly getting O/S syndrome. i sort of want her introduction to toby/the proxies to be ALMOST a reflection of how toby and clocky canonically met. (her getting hurt cuz of him, him helping her as an apology)

so around the time natalie replaced her eye with a clock, O/S syndrome fully set in. while sick, she couldn't form memories, she had inhuman strength, an insatiable bloodlust - just became a general menace, and because bodies started dropping all around tuscaloosa with operator symbols slashed into walls, the proxies had to intervene.

it started with toby stalking her while she's stalking her next victim. her and toby get into a huge tussle and she locks onto him as her next victim. he chooses to play cat and mouse and run off to the forest, having her follow. i'm imagining an almost comical scene where she's slashing around branches and stuff with a machete and he's like 'ahhh cant catch meeeee' and she's screaming obscenities. . .

then by time he ends up at the cabin, tim or brian probably knock her out since she's, yknow, a huge threat. a bat to the back of her head.

and she would wake up in their spare 'storage' room thats filled to the brim with boxes, old bikes, massive stacks of newspapers, cds, etc. she'd probably have her wrists zip tied to an exposed pipe and she'd be losing her fucking mind. screaming at the top of her lungs, thrashing around, whatever. "LET ME GO YOU FUCKING FREAKS LET ME GO ILL KILL YOU ILL FUCKING KILL YOU"

the way to slowly heal O/S syndrome is being around slenderman(aka in his forest) for a long time, until the Operator loses grasp. the way to quickly deal with O/S syndrome is to um.. no nice way to put this. slendermans jaw unhinges and he oozes this gross fucking black tar-like goo, and drinking it (or putting it into pill capsules and taking those) makes the operator let go. it doesnt really have a taste, thank god, but it is thicker than water.

so it would be a whole ordeal of toby coming in like heeeeyyyy... lol... and he would think shes REALLY BADASS because he's never met a woman like her (so strong, loud mouthed, violent, etc). plus he's kinda lonely in general so LMFAOOOO . so he wants to befriend her, and is kinda ignoring the fat that she's mad as hell.

but she's in so much agony. from the O/S syndrome to getting hit with a bat, she's screaming and crying and never shutting up. throwing up, trying to literally bite and kick the proxies if they even bring in water. so toby would be 'designated' to her because "well youre the dumb fuck who brought her here, you deal with it"

he'd probably have to trick her into taking one of the pills or putting the sludge into an opaque water bottle or something. after the first bit is ingested, she quickly gains more clarity. he'd try getting a cot or air mattress set up for her. bring a book and drawing supplies. he wants her to trust him. within a day or two, she'd already start feeling immensely better and the operator is letting go - and toby would stupidly trust her, and completely undo the zipties, and she'd run the fuck off, and he'd be like FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK. and not even a week later, she'd come back. because she's horribly sick again. and she'd beg for the stupid pills.

and she'd start to trust toby, and eventually kate. . and a little bit brian. but she would still not fuck with tim cuz it is true, he would hate all the screaming, and would occasionally bang on the door and shout at her to quiet down.

but yeah . . thats how she gets situated with the proxies and her O/S syndrome is healed. :3

[buckysgrace]

Nineteen

Previous Chapter

Kim was completely bored in the diner booth as she doodled on a napkin as she waited for Addi to refill their drinks. They had gotten off early after a very, very slow shift. Usually they were a lot busier, but the heat must’ve taken everyone to the pool or to the mall. She kept hearing the owners complaining about how the fast-food business would be the death of their restaurant, which Kim hoped wasn’t true. She liked the people she waited to and if she was being honest, it was fairly easy. Not to mention that the owners let them get away with a lot.

She looked back down to her napkin, confused as to how the little person she had been doodling had turned into Billy. Her eyes traced over the sketch of his nose and left her wondering how she had gotten in this position. She had been so embarrassed this morning, knowing she was way out of line to ask him to spend the night last night. She had majorly crossed over the very blurred line they had created between the of them. She was so worried she had ruined whatever was between them that she left early this morning, walking to work instead of asking him for a ride. She didn’t think she could deal with the rejection again.

“I can’t believe you won’t tell me who gave you those hickeys,” Addi walked back up to her as she slid Kim's lemonade towards her and plopped back down in the booth. Kim pulled the doodle into her pocket, hiding it. She didn’t know how she’d explain that she had been drawing her stepbrother, “I mean I’m your best friend I can keep a secret.” Kim shot her a look, knowing that most of her secrets she shared also went to Argyle, who then went to Jonathan and then to Nancy. Kim did think it would be funny to see Mrs. Wheeler’s face when she realized that Billy’s mousy little sister had gotten to fuck him before she did.

“I told you, I can’t,” Kim repeated again, feeling bad for lying to her best friend. She knew it wasn’t fair, but she also knew that her friend would be horrified over who she was sleeping with, “He made me promise not to tell because it would ruin his reputation.” Kim wasn’t fully lying to her friend. This would ruin her reputation as well; however, she had a feeling people would judge Billy more harshly. She hated to imagine what would happen if people found out. It made her sick to her stomach and she quickly took a large gulp of her sour drink to keep the nauseous feelings at bay. Addi narrowed her dark eyes.

"So, he has to be married or something then?" Kim felt her eyes widening as she shook her head. She was then unsure if she should deny that idea totally at all. However, she didn't want it coming back around to Neil that she was being promiscuous with a married man in their town. That may be just enough for him to pack them up and move away again. Addi was watching her closely, trying to read into her expression for the smallest bits of details.

"He's not married," Kim reassured her, deciding it was best to pretend it was a single guy their age, "He just isn't able to be public with me. He doesn't want to be seen as romantic." She quickly added, hoping to cover up her previous sentence. She felt like that gave away too many hints that it was someone she wasn't supposed to be with. That they weren't allowed to be seen in public because it was her stepbrother. She felt the acid growing in her throat as she thought about it more. 

“I just,” Addi sighed dramatically as the bell rang, letting them know that people had entered, “I thought that we weren’t doing this just for the sex. We wanted a relationship too.” Kim knew she was completely right; they had wanted to both be in relationships by the end of the summer. Kim had accepted that it wasn't going to work out that way for her anymore, but she wasn't that sad about it. She felt like she had bonded with Billy, even if she wasn't supposed to. She didn't feel quite so lonely all the time. Apparently for Addi, it had worked out more than well with Eddie. Kim couldn't deny that she wasn't jealous, she felt like her crush on Steve had been completely destroyed. She was still bitter that he wanted to be with Addi more than her, even though she knew that wasn't fair.

 Addi had tried to suggest Tommy as a new option, but Kim quickly dismissed that idea. She was surprised her friend hadn't already heard what had happened between Tommy and Billy, but she explained it anyways. Addi had tried to brush it off as a mock threat, but Kim knew better. She had seen the uncontrollable rage that Billy had released on others, and she wasn't going to be a part of that. She wasn't going to be the reason someone got hurt either. 

“I mean,” Kim fiddled with her straw as she tried to ignore the loud laughter coming from a group that had entered the diner, “It’s just sex. It’s cool. It gives me time to focus on school and not the drama that comes with relationships.” She had thought long and hard about what she would tell her friend, and this had been the only excuse that she could think of. Addi gave her a look that let her know she seen right through her. Okay, Kim really did want a boyfriend, but she could suffer without one for a bit longer. She was still young. 

"See," Addi nudged Kim's knee with her foot, drawing her attention towards the group that had entered, "Why won't you give him a chance? He's really cute." Kim's eyes moved across the group. She noticed Jason Carver, another one of Billy's friends that she only had the luxury of meeting once before. She hadn't been a fan of him, he was for sure her least favorite of Billy's group of buddies. Her eyes drifted towards a small strawberry blonde girl and then to Heather and Tina before she finally settled on Tommy. She looked at the sleeveless t-shirt he was wearing. She did think he was cute, but she just didn't feel the same way towards him as she did when she was looking at someone that she was attracted to.

Like Billy. 

His brown eyes looked up to meet hers at the same time and she cursed at herself as she realized it looked as if she had been staring at him. His lips curled into a bright smile, his face lighting up as he passed by his friends and headed towards her. She felt her eyebrows furrowing together as she forced an awkward smile. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to him or if she was supposed to at all. She knew Billy wouldn't hurt her, but she didn't take his words lightly. She wasn't sure why more people didn't believe him and thought that he was just making open ended threats. 

"HI," She spoke up kindly, shooting a look towards Addi as she began to hum and look at the menu like they didn't already have it covered, "How are you?" His brown eyes looked over her face, his smile dropping a bit as he looked at her. She grew worried, wondering if he noticed the hickeys on her neck.

"What happened to your head? Did you get hurt?" Tommy questioned, looking concerned. She could see Addi grinning from the corner of her eye and Kim wasn't honestly sure how to respond. She didn't figure that he would pay close enough attention to her to notice that she had scratched her head.

"She fell on her ass while skating," Tina spoke up from behind him, waving sweetly at her even though her smile looked to be more mischievous, "I've never quite seen someone hit the ground that hard." If being confronted by Tommy wasn't bad enough, of course Tina had to choose the time to speak up. Kim wasn't sure why she felt the need to join their conversation anyways, as it wasn't like they were friends or anything. Still, Kim felt her face flush as she pushed her hair out of her face and heard Jason's laugh again. She wasn't sure where Heather and the other girl went but she was thankful it wasn't a huge crowd that had gathered.

"Are you okay?" Tommy looked completely serious and worried as he ignored Tina's remark. Kim shifted, growing more uncomfortable as the seconds passed. She knew the cut was barely there, just a small scab now. She nodded quickly, meeting Addi's irritated eyes. 

"Peachy. It's just a little cut." She smiled softly, hoping they would leave quickly. Tommy didn't look like he was going anywhere soon as he slid next to her without asking. She scooted over quickly, placing her back against the wall as she stared at him. Tina turned to Jason, whispering something before they both turned away. Her heart was still racing in her chest as Tommy turned to her.

“I was wondering if I could ask you something?" Tommy rested his arm across the back of the booth. Addi cleared her throat, scooting out of her side as Kim felt her eyes widening in horror. Addi waved to her friend awkwardly, signaling her exit. Kim could've thrown her glass of lemonade at her. 

"I'll wait for you outside, Kim?" Addi looked a bit unsure, but Kim was sure she was leaving them alone for a reason. Kim exhaled gently, trying to remain calm as she nodded. She was trying not to have a panic attack. 

"Yeah, I'll be right there." Kim hinted, hoping that Tommy would understand that she would have to leave soon. This morning was just getting worse in her opinion. Still, he smiled brightly towards her, and she began to feel guilty for her lack of excitement. She fidgeted with her fingers, feeling trapped with him inside of the booth.

“Sure, what’s up?” She asked him, anxious about what he would ask her. She wondered if Tina would run straight back to Tina and tell her everything that she had seen. Kim didn't know what she was supposed to do if Tommy wasn't listening to Billy's advice. She watched as he reached for her pen she had left on the table and pulled a napkin from the stand. She watched confused, glancing up towards his flushed features. 

“I was hoping that you might call me?” He slipped her his number, messily writing down his number on the napkin. She gulped hard, feeling her eyes slightly widening, “I have yours, but I thought it might be weird to call there and ask for you without you knowing.” She looked at him curiously, tilting her head as she examined his sentence. He had her number? He must've picked up on her worried expression because he spoke up quickly, holding his hands up in mock surrender. 

“Billy, Billy gave me your guy's house number before,” He clarified quickly and she remembered why they shouldn’t be talking, “I thought maybe you’d like to call me instead. I had fun the other night.” She held it in her hand, wishing that maybe she had thought about having other options before she started to sleep with her stepbrother. She had a sudden fear about being alone with Billy and one of his friends finding them. She knew it was irrational, they never had friends stop by their house. El had been the only other person to ever step foot inside of the house and she wasn't quite sure how Max felt comfortable enough to have her there. 

“Billy will flip,” She started as she looked into his big brown eyes, “You guys are friends, and he values that. I don’t think it’s right.” She felt bad for a moment before he leaned forward, and she scooted even further back against the wall. She rubbed her hands against her shirt, feeling the urge to make it longer suddenly. He looked a lot more intimidating than she had ever seen him look before.

“Billy doesn’t scare me. You’re a big girl and you should make your own decisions without him breathing down your back. Besides, we could always keep a secret. Promise you’ll at least think about it.” She felt too stunned to speak, knowing that he was dumb if Billy didn’t scare him. She had seen him take down guys twice as big as Tommy with no issue. There was the fact that she simply didn't want to call him anyways. The same way that Neil would read her diaries, he knew he tended to try and sneak onto their phones calls as well. It was the reason they never took calls unless he was gone. Tommy did seem really nice, but she just wasn't interested in him She hesitated for a moment before the loud sound of thumping music approaching broke her trance. If she strained her ears enough, she was sure she would be able to decipher Billy's favorite band playing. She looked away from Tommy, watching as Billy’s blue Camaro pulled into the parking lot.

She resisted the urge to grin even though she desperately wanted to. She turned to Tommy again, “I better get going. I don’t want to have him waiting too long.” She waited for him to move out of her way as she inched forward a bit. She grew even more uncomfortable when he stayed still, staring her down as his smile dropped from his face. He no longer looked very nice to her. 

“Promise me, Kim.” His voice was sterner as he spoke, and Kim felt the tension between them changing as she stared at his big brown eyes. He looked more like the boy she remembered from the basketball practices and not the kind one from the other night. Billy's warning rung loudly in her mind as she began to wonder how much of this was an act for Tommy. She didn't like feeling as if she had to be intimidated under him. However, she was too afraid to say no as his gaze hardened over her soft features. 

“I promise.” She breathed out hoarsely as she resisted the urge to push him out the way to get out. His eyes raked over her features again and he must've decided that he meant it because he stood up out of her way. She stared out at his unstretched hand, not wanting to take it but doing it anyways. She didn't want to make him mad. He held her hand as he helped her stand. She smiled stiffly as they met nose to nose. She tried not to pull her hand away too hastily, doing it slowly so he couldn't tell how uncomfortable she really was. She was afraid of being rude.

"Call me then." He didn't ask, he told her as his eyes held onto hers with a strong intensity. It was so much different than the way Billy looked at her. She nodded, tucking her hair behind her hair as she prayed for him to be distracted and look away from her. She moved her hands away, heading towards the door.

"I will!" She responded but she didn't mean it. She just wanted him off of her back. She stepped out into the hot, muggy air but still felt chills from where his eyes lingered over her figure. She walked towards her friend who was soaking up the sun. Kim kicked her foot out, nudging her harshly as the other girl yelped, "What the hell?" She questioned as her friend laughed at her, looking at her confused.

"What? You did the same thing to me the other night." Addi grinned sheepishly at her. Kim knew she was partially right, but Addi had been interested in Eddie. Kim really wasn't that interested in Tommy, and she was beginning to get an odd feeling from him. She didn't know how to explain it and didn't want to look stupid trying to do so either. Kim crossed her arms over her chest, glancing over towards the blue Camaro. She was beginning to feel giddy that Billy had come to get her without her needing to ask him. She had been sure that she had scared him away after last night.

"Are you leaving?" Kim sighed as she dropped the topic. She didn't want anyone to risk overhearing anyways. She rubbed her arm; she had put sunscreen on this morning but still felt as if her skin was burning. Addi nodded and Kim looked back towards the car, wondering if Billy was watching her right now. She knew she should hurry but she didn't want Addi to be suspicious at the same time. 

“Eddie’s supposed to pick me up, I suspect he overslept.” Addi laughed, genuinely looking amused as she spoke. Kim glanced at where Billy was waiting, the loud music still carrying across the parking lot. She glanced over her shoulder, making sure it wasn't disturbing anyone inside. She didn't want to get trouble from the owners because of it. 

“I’m sure Billy could give you a ride?” She offered. She secretly hoped she would say no, wanting to have alone time with the other boy. She was anxious about whether or not she had scared him off after last night. She felt like she crossed a huge line between the two of them. Addi shook her head no, crossing her arms over her waist as she spoke up again.

“No, it’s fine really. Thank you though,” She smiled brightly, “Tommy seems really into you.” Kim glanced back in through the glass, watching as Tommy and Jason were laughing about something. She thought about their conversation a few minutes ago and wasn't sure how to take him anymore. She gulped hard and nodded nervously. She just didn't want to talk about him at all anymore. She wasn't sure why she kept bumping into him when she had spent the past few months barely seeing him at all. 

“I don’t really know what to do about it.” She admitted truthfully as she thought about Tommy. He was cute and he did seem interested in her, however, he was also popular. She was unsure if she could handle Carol making threats towards her all the time. She also didn't know if she'd like the idea of being surrounded by Jason and his other jock friends that were constantly trailing after him. Her most worrisome feelings were those surrounding Billy. She didn't want to go after someone he had specifically asked that she not go near. Not to mention that she was completely sure she wasn't ready to give him up yet, no matter how far she had come in her learning. 

“I say you go for it.” Addi spoke earnestly. Kim opened her mouth to reply when an obnoxious honking began. She snapped her head to where Billy was waiting, knowing he wasn’t patient. She’d try to discuss it with her friend later, for now she just wanted to forget about it. Kim stood up straighter, sending her friend a smile even though she had abandoned her. 

“Have fun with Eddie,” She grinned at her friend as she turned away from her, sending her one last wave as she left, “Don’t forget the condoms!” She laughed watching as Addi flipped her off. She made haste to the car, trying not to be left behind in the hot sun.

Kim could feel their eyes lingering on her as she stepped out of the restaurant and headed towards the familiar blue Camaro that was blaring music almost obnoxiously loud. She hadn’t expected Billy to pick her up but wasn’t going to deny the free ride as she stepped over a rather large pothole. He turned to look at her, his shades on and a cigarette dangling from his lips as she pulled the car door open. She hoped that Tina was watching as she slid into the passenger seat, her black skirt riding up on her pale thighs. She ignored the burn of the leather from the hot sun as she noticed Billy’s eyes lingering while she buckled herself in.

“I could’ve driven you this morning.” She watched as he turned the dial on his music down and she swallowed a hard lump that was forming in her chest. She didn’t want to admit that she had been too humiliated to ask him to do so after last night. She was sure he wouldn’t have wanted to see her anyways.

“It’s fine,” She mustered up the courage to speak as she pulled hard on her seatbelt to secure herself, “It was nice out this morning and I enjoyed the walk.” She glanced over as she heard the familiar ring of her workplace and noticed Tina trailing towards them. She fidgeted with her fingers as she turned to Billy, wanting to leave her in the dust.

“We should probably get going, I’ve got a lot of uh stuff to do at home.” He turned to her confused about questioning her before the lady of the hour stepped in front of his car. A grin grew on his face as he watched Kim for a moment, knowing why she had been trying to rush him. She crossed her arms, clearly irritated as Tina ducked her head into the open window and rested her arms on the car. Kim wished he would’ve just drove.

“Oh my god, Billy you’re so nice coming here to pick up your sister,” She emphasized the word, what reason Kim was unsure of, but her and Billy reacted the same way. The air in the car shifted as they both turned away from each other awkwardly. Kim was at least glad it still affected him the same way in public, “I can’t believe I’ve been seeing so much of you lately.” Tina gushed and Kim thought about reaching over to roll the window up on her cocky expression.

“She’s not my-,” Billy began to protest before rolling his shoulders, “I guess I am. Yeah, are you stalking me or something?” He chuckled and Kim watched as Tina’s expression faded before she composed herself. Kim wondered if it would be an appropriate time to flip her off. It served her right for being so snarky in the diner. 

“Oh no, a few of us came with Tommy this morning. He really likes this place.” Tina’s eyes looked over to Kim before back to Billy. She wanted to scream and ask when he had ever been inside of there before but stayed quiet. Billy glanced over at her, trying to confirm by Kim's face if it was true or not. Kim wasn’t sure if Tina saw her as a threat or simply was mad that Kim had been dancing with her friends ex the other night. Kim felt Tommy’s handwritten number burning a hole in her pocket as she smiled sheepishly at Billy, looking at the irritated expression on his face.

“We have good pies.” She replied bashfully, not liking how the two of them were watching her. Tina had clearly seen Billy threaten Tommy and she was wondering why she would want her friends to suffer for that. Tommy may not be afraid of Billy, but Kim certainly was afraid for Tommy. Even if he was beginning to make her uncomfortable, she still didn't think he deserved to be completely broken and she was sure there would be nothing left of him by the time Billy was finished with him. 

“You still haven’t called,” Tina pouted as she dragged Billy’s attention back to her. Kim couldn’t help but roll her eyes, “I just want to make sure that we’re still good.” Her perfectly manicured hand dipped into the car as she brushed against Billy’s skin. Kim felt her rage boiling inside of her as she touched him and tried to fight the urge to bite the other girl's hand.

“I just saw you yesterday,” Billy laughed but she could hear the irritation in his voice, “I haven’t had the chance yet.” His reply was short, and Kim took this as a win for herself. She could keep him away from the phone so that Tina would never be able to get a hold of him. Tina looked disappointed.

“Okay, I just miss you.” Kim was sure that Tina and Billy hadn’t ever done anything but fucked a few times. She thought about asking Billy after this but decided against it, not wanting to hear his speech about not having feelings again. Did jealousy count? Even if it wasn’t feelings of love, just jealousy over someone else got his dick. She tried to reassure herself of that.

“Soon,” Billy grinned up at Tina, a promise lingering on his features. Kim didn’t like that at all, “I promise I’ll call you soon.” Tina nodded, beginning to pull away but not before leaning down and pressing her lips against Billy’s. Kim gripped her hands into fists, trying to look away but unable to. What she wouldn’t give to knock the smirk off of the other girl's face when she pulled away. Billy chuckled, beginning to shift his car in reverse as he shot her a small wave.

“See you,” He told the other girl and Kim resisted the urge to yell out the window that he would actually be too busy with her to care about Tina. She fought down the urge, her shoulders not relaxing until Tina was just a small speck in the rearview mirror, “You are so jealous.” Billy laughed as he turned to look at the younger girl. Kim feigned innocence, trying to defend herself.

“I just hate her. I mean why Tina? She’s annoying. You should go for Heather instead, she’s nice.” Kim spat out the first name she could think of as she fiddled with her hair, pretending that everything was okay. She would not admit to being jealous even if there was no denying the look on her face. She didn't want him to be freaked out, especially after last night. He hadn't brought it up yet and she was hoping that was a good thing. Billy smirked at the redhead. 

“I’ve already been with her before,” Billy spoke slowly, amusement tracing in his tone as Kim shot a look at him. He looked pretty pleased with himself as he drove and Kim tried not to picture all of the late nights he had at the pool, suddenly realized he would’ve been with Heather the whole time, “I’m just fucking with you.” He laughed again and she felt sheepish as he looked at her reaction. She slid down in her chair a bit. 

“Oh,” She responded dumbly, “Who have you been with?” She didn’t mean to sound possessive, but she definitely did feel that way. His hand went up to cup her soft cheeks, squishing them together again as she furrowed her eyebrows together. She really did want an answer, but she didn't think she was actually going to get one. 

“A lot of people but I’m serious, no one has been as good as you.” Kim wanted to ask if that was because he found her attractive or if it was simply because of their relationship that obviously turned him on. Still, his words stroked her ego as she leaned closer to him, sticking a pale hand over his black shorts. His eyes snapped to her, looking stunned. She tried not to focus on the way he stared at her as she palmed his soft dick under her hand. She traced her fingertips up the length of him, urging him to get hard so she could continue her actions. She would be so humiliated if he didn’t get hard.

“Are you saying I’m the best you’ve had?” She set up the question eagerly as she felt his pants growing stiffer under her hand. She focused on his tanned thighs, looking at the soft, blonde curls instead of him so she wouldn’t lose her confidence.

“Yeah, I’d say that’s a fair comparison.” She felt her heart yell for joy as she glanced up at him, the sunlight dancing in her hazel eyes. She watched as he took a deep breath before turning back to the road. She didn’t want to stop though.

She thought of the way Tina had pressed her lips on Billy’s suddenly growing even more jealous as her small hand cupped him through his jeans and squeezed softly. He wasn’t as hard as what he normally was, but she blamed that on the normal conversation they had been having up until a few seconds ago. She watched as he jerked in his seat, his foot accidentally hitting the gas and giving them a small boost as she fumbled to pull his shorts down low enough that she could free his dick.

“What are you doing?” His tone was laced with nerves as she pulled at the buttons on his boxers before fishing his semi hard length out. She tried not to giggle at his reaction as she squeezed her cold hand around his hardening cock while flicking her tongue across his slit. She looked up at him curiously.

“Thanking you,” She replied sweetly as her tongue trailed across the head of his cock. She would never admit that she was doing it because she was jealous. Because she was afraid that he would push her off to the side for someone else, “Is that okay?” She flashed her hazel doe eyes up at the older boy, wishing she could see his blue eyes through his shades. He nodded stiffly before turning back to the road. She began stroking him slowly, watching as he grew in her hand the more, she kept up her movements. 

He groaned as a hand moved from the steering wheel and to the back of her head to push her mouth down on him further. She clenched her eyes together tightly, willing her mouth to relax around his thick length as he assisted her in bobbing her head around his dick. She flicked her tongue around his bulging length as she sucked, making sure to trace the angry veins aligning on the side of his cock.

“Such a good cock slut,” Billy cooed, and she felt her words travel straight to her core. She resisted the urge to reach between her legs and touch herself in the way that Billy had taught her. She was sure it would feel amazing, but she wanted to focus on him at the moment and not on herself, “Never knew you’d be so desperate for me.” He spit out and she thought about pulling away to tell him to concentrate on the road as she felt him swerve again, the tip of his dick hitting the back of her throat.

She felt herself moaning around his length as she bobbed her head up and down on his throbbing length, focusing on the way he sounded as she moved. She tried to remember what movements made him groan louder and what he didn’t seem to like as much as she gagged around him. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to fit him all the way in her mouth.

“That’s it,” He pleaded, and she could tell he was resisting the urge to thrust his hips up as he quickly pulled her hair into his fist and made her move her mouth faster on him. She tried to pad her tongue around him again, but he didn’t seem as interested in that as he fucked into her mouth. Her eyes were burning from the feeling of him hitting the back of her throat and she kept fighting the urge to gag. It was so messy, she realized as she felt the drool coating her hand and dripping onto his boxers, “Gonna be a good girl for me and let me cum in your mouth?” She did her best to nod as she sucked on his length harshly, enjoying how she could feel him throbbing against her tongue and the roof of her mouth. She was sure he had only ever come inside her before and figured it would be cleaner than him releasing on her face and hands. Her jaw was aching, but she didn’t dare pull away.

“Fuck,” He cursed as he suddenly jerked into her mouth, swerving the car again. Her eyes widened as she held onto his knees from the sudden movement, before tasting him in her throat and against her tongue. He kept her mouth full of his cock as he gripped her hair tightly and she fought for oxygen as her lungs began to burn. After a loud groan he released his grip on her and she was scrambling away from his lap to try and catch her breath, drool and cum sliding down her mouth.

She panted as she darted her tongue out of her mouth and licked it off, swallowing his fluid hard as she looked at his flushed expression. He glanced between his pants and the road as he stuffed himself back in his pants quickly. She grinned noticing his sunglasses had slid down his nose.

“You’re something else.” He mumbled, clearly trying to catch his breath as well. She wasn’t sure her smile could get any larger, but she was very happy with herself. She hoped she did well enough that he never thought of any girl except for her ever again. She knew it was dumb but feeding into her jealousy felt so right. 

“I was just being nice,” She defended herself as she combed a hand through her now messy hair, “Did I do good?” She questioned as she leaned against the console to push herself closer to him. He began to park the car in his spot in the driveway, smiling down at her sweet frame.

“You’ve still got the best mouth and the best pussy.” She quickly pulled away from his smirking face, feeling her cheeks brightening again. She should’ve known he would've said something like that. He just laughed at her reaction as she quickly got out of the car. He trailed not too far after her, following her up the stairs to the back door. They hardly ever used the staircase or porch unless Neil was gone. His room was right next to it, and he had screamed at them multiple times for being too loud on the steps when they used the staircase. 

“You know, everyone’s gone. Maybe you’d want to watch that movie now?” She could feel the smirk in his voice as he watched her walk up the uneven steps. She was glad he couldn’t see her burning face. She still wasn’t sure she was ready for that as she pushed the back door open, and the cool AC greeted them friendly. The phone was ringing as they entered the house and Kim watched as Billy grunted and headed towards it angrily, “Probably Max already wanting to be picked up.” He grumbled as he answered the phone. Kim laughed, knowing it would be his luck that she was ready to be picked up just as they got back. Billy turned to her surprised, holding the phone out to her as she stared at him confused. She felt a sudden rush of panic, wondering if Tommy had decided to call her for himself.

“It’s your dad.” He muttered and she felt as if her whole world had exploded into fireworks. She quickly took the phone from him, excitement overtaking herself as she searched for her father's voice. It had been so long. She couldn’t believe her luck either, knowing if they had waited any longer that she possibly could have missed him. Billy stood there for a moment, watching her before he turned to head to his room.

“Hi, daddy!” She replied cheerily into the phone, clutching it close to her ear so she wouldn’t miss one word that he spoke. Billy’s movements stalled in the corner of her eye, he briefly paused in the hallway and popped his knuckles before returning to his room. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Lady bug, how are you?” Her fathers deep voice rang through the phone, and she felt herself bouncing on the pads of her feet in joy. It had been months since he had last spoken to her. She had hoped for a Christmas card from him, but it never came, she figured it had been lost in the mail again. 

“I’m good!” She replied as the excitement built in her chest, “How are you?” She really didn’t care for the small talk. She was more interested in what he was doing for work right now, how his dog was doing, if that girl finally gave her his number. She felt like she had months of questions building up in her chest and they were all going to implode into word vomit if she didn’t start asking them. She had missed him so much and could feel the reminiscent building inside of her along with the threat of tears. She swallowed those down harshly, remembering how he had promised her not to cry on the phone with him ever again.

“Not so great, ladybug,” His sigh was deep on the other line and Kim felt her excitement draining as he spoke, “I ran into some trouble again.” The line was silent for a moment as she waited for him to clarify, only to realize he wasn’t going to. She wasn’t used to him telling her his problems this way. She usually heard about it offhandedly when her mom would complain to her. 

She felt Billy’s gaze following her as she turned and leaned against the wall, holding the phone even closer to her so somehow the words she spoke wouldn’t travel through the house, “Have you been gambling again?” She was worried. The last she knew was that he was staying in her grandparent's basement but had given him an ultimatum. No drinking and absolutely no gambling.

“Don’t say it like that,” Her dad sounded exasperated as he spoke, and she felt bad. She didn’t mean to make it sound like it was a bad thing. People slip back into unhealthy habits all the time, “I heard you have a job. I was hoping you could send me some money.” She froze as his words rushed out to her all at once. He wanted her money?

She felt her lip tremble for a moment, realizing he wasn’t calling to catch up. No, he was calling because he needed something from her. She didn’t even know how he knew about her job and figured maybe he had spoken to Max about it. She knew he wouldn’t dare call when he thought Susan or Neil was home. She swallowed another lump in her chest.

“S-sure,” She breathed out quietly, blinking away the tears that were brimming in her eyes as she cleared her throat, “How much do you need?” She stared into the kitchen wishing that she was still the little girl that he adored more than anything. More than money and drinking. She didn’t think she’d ever go back to that time again.

“Oh, ladybug you’re the best. I guess this makes up for all of the Christmas presents,” He chuckled on the other end, and she wondered what Christmas presents he had ever bought her, “If you have 600 hundred that would be fantastic. It would pull me out of a lot of trouble. I’ll take anything though, I’m fairly desperate.” She felt the guilt building in her chest as well, knowing she had that much but had been saving it for college. She couldn’t let her dad suffer though, she still had the summer and next school year to make up for it.

“Sure, I’ll figure something out. Is it still the same address?” She felt as if she was whispering by how softly she was speaking. She was so terrified of breaking down on the phone to him that she couldn’t strain her voice into speaking that loudly.

“Yeah, it’s the same one. Listen, I’ve got to go now but I just want to let you know that you’re a real lifesaver. Send it to me soon, yeah?” He didn’t give her a chance to respond or another second to tell her he missed her before the line went dead. She stared at the peeling wallpaper that faced her as she slowly hung the phone back up, feeling completely empty on the inside as her body grew numb. She curled her fingers into a fist as she walked to her room, searching for the piggy bank that she was keeping her savings in. She quickly pulled the cork out of it, struggling to do so, before she dumped as many dollars out as she could. She stared at it for a moment, part of her wondering if it was worth it.

She reminded herself that it was her dad and despite their short conversation that he did love her. She swallowed deeply and counted out the change until she got to six hundred before wading it up and shoving it into an empty envelope she had lying around. Her hand was shaking too bad to be able to write on it. She willed it to disappear, partly hoping her father never got it.

“What are you doing?” Billy was leaning against her wall, sucking on a popsicle as he observed her in front of her bed on the floor, quickly pushing the envelope into her bookshelf. She was too overwhelmed to deal with his lingering eyes. She wasn't able to handle him right now, feeling seconds away from breaking down onto the floor. 

“Nothing, why don’t you mind your business?” She snapped, completely taken aback by her own attitude. She knew he hadn’t done anything, but she couldn’t stop the harsh words and she fought herself not to take it out on him. She felt the tears building even more as she stood up and faced him as he sat his popsicle down on the counter. She frowned, not wanting it to melt everywhere. 

He looked at her dully, unaffected by her tone or her words. She assumed she seemed pretty pathetic compared to what he had been through. She huffed as she walked towards him, pushing at his chest so that he would get the hint and leave.

He quickly caught her hands in her own, gently as he brought them down towards his sides. She felt the bridge inside of her snapping as the tears began to pour out and her shoulders slumped forward in a pathetic attempt to hide herself from him. She waited for him to shove her hands back towards her, to tell her to grow up and stop crying. It never came.

Instead, he cautiously pulled her towards his chest and rested his chin on top of her shoulder. She sat there for a minute with her hands awkwardly to her sides before she realized he was trying to comfort her. She tightly wrapped herself around him, crying into his chest as he stood against her stiffly. She didn’t care if it was the most awkward embrace, she had ever been in. Billy never hugged anyone, yet here he was trying to comfort her by holding her in his strong arms.

“Why doesn’t he want me?” She spoke out miserably, not caring that he didn’t like to talk about feelings. He had invited himself inside and now he would deal with her small meltdown. She shook in his arms as he caressed the back of her head, his thick fingers running through her wavy hair. He stayed quiet for a moment, and she was fine with that as long as it meant he didn’t let her go. She needed something to cling onto, something to tell her that it would all be okay.

He moved his hand off of her shoulder slowly, gently pressing his cheek against her damp one so she could move her head away from her chest. She fought the apology rising on her tongue, knowing he probably hated her right now. He looked at her gently and she searched his blue eyes for any sort of meaning or indication of what he was feeling right now. She found nothing.

“People suck. You can’t trust anyone,” His voice sounded a little rough as he spoke and she blinked at him, watching as he moved his hands away from her waist to wipe at her tear-stained cheeks. She didn’t know if he wanted her to pull away, but she didn’t, her fingers tightly interlinked around the back of his torso, “All that matters is that we have each other, alright?” His finger gently pressed against her chin as he held onto her gaze, watching to make sure she nodded and that she meant it. 

She wanted to ask him what that meant, what did it mean by they had each other but this was just sex to him? If there were no feelings involved, then didn’t that mean that he shouldn’t care about her and her father? She wasn’t sure anymore. The thin, faded line between them just seemed to grow even messier as more occurrences popped up.

“You really mean that?” She sniffled, silent tears still streaming down her face. Billy nodded at her, completely unfazed by her reaction as he kept close to her. She felt as if her heartbeat was matching his as he bent forward and placed a chaste kiss against her wet lips and pulled her closer to him. She didn't think they could get much closer as he squeezed her to him. She melted against the feeling of him, wanting to stay in his arms.

"I do," He mumbled, his bottom lip brushing against hers as he spoke, "I'll take care of you. You don't need anyone else." Billy promised, his blue eyes swirling with something she couldn't quite place. She nodded, sealing herself to him. 

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