#imaginary crimes

[whatisyourchildhoodtrauma]

AMBER BENSON as Margaret Imaginary Crimes (1994) dir. Anthony Drazan

[rosetyler42]

After watching Fosters Home, I realized Drericka kind of have a similar dynamic to Mac and Bloo: the pragmatic traumatized voice of reason who keeps the other out of trouble and the chaotic gremlin who helps the other cut loose, have fun, and come out if their shell. Realizing this, I had to draw this Mac and Bloo moment from Crime After Crime as it fit them BEAUTIFULLY.

Ericka KNOWS Drac has a mischievious side under all that "Count Control-Freak"/"I'm a cool, calm, responsible leader" image of his. She LOVES this side of him, and enjoys getting him to let it out. She came of course from a place where she had very little freedom at all aside from little acts of rebellion, and sees the freedom Drac has as leader of the pack to be a huge gift. The whole monster community adores him. He could do almost whatever he wanted, without anyone really minding. This may seem like a "I can make him worse" situation, but to ERICKA, it's actually BETTER for him to let loose sometimes than to repress himself like she has. She sees it as helping HIM the way HE helped HER.

@lovelylivelyv @black-ak9 @hotelt-resurrection @ssleeping-in-a-coffin @serial-serializednovelreader @blo0st4r @deathfangirl9 @wingingfromthezing @heartsong1994 @ebevkisk @kittyball23

[agronian]

okay listen up! these two fuckin BADDIES.... *deep breathing* uhg... ok. sorry. lost myself- THESE TWO ARE THE BADDEST MOST MEAN-MUGGIN' ASS-KICKIN' AND CODE-CRACKIN' PAIR OF LOVESTRUCK PARTNERS THAT ELRIEL HAS E V E R SEEN, PERIOD.

if you have played morrowind and are aware of the concept of CHIM, yeah... that's the kind of power we are dealing with here. total. freaking. badasses.

ON THE LEFT IMAGE, WE HAVE:

[S P L I C E R]

she is a 7 foot tall lizard woman but do not be fooled- she WILL beat ur ass, and then kiss u on the forehead afterwards, of course. (goodboy;) mwah) BUT LET IT BE KNOWN- HER LOYALTY IS 100000% UNBREAKABLE. she is beyond devoted to her partner.....

who is.... undoubtedly so....-

-THE MAN ON THE RIGHT-

[X E N O T R E K]

without a doubt, xenotrek has senority. as a 55 year old killa, the mere fact of his age combined with the length of his loks of pale red hair, this man is obviously deadly and quite stylish.

despite being a bit of a gallavanting fiend, he has taken splicer under his watchful eye to apprentice her under his art, the mastery of lockpicking. she is a fast and ready learner, already cracking most of the locks thrown her way, as well as a few in real world examples.

more shall be revealed one day... for now, we bask in the ephemera.

[thelordofgifs]

In Defence of the Sons of Fëanor

Wait, again? Yes, always. But not anything really bad! Kinslaying, I hope we can agree, is pretty indefensible. But an accusation I often see levelled against the younger sons - that they failed to rescue Maedhros from Angband out of cowardice/stupidity - is bugging me. So! Before I get a fandom reputation as "the Gil-galad poster", I thought I might write something about a character I actually care about - Maglor! Also his younger brothers, but Maglor is the one I’m particularly invested in defending.

In fic (particularly a lot of Russingon fic) the views I tend to see expressed by characters, and backed up by the narrative, go something like "The Fëanorions heartlessly refused Morgoth's offer to release Maedhros and left their brother to torture for thirty years! Dangling from a cliff in full view of their camp! But then heroic Fingon showed up and immediately rescued him with nothing more than a bow and a harp - he barely even stopped to eat first!"

Firstly, I obviously understand that views expressed by the characters are not that of the author. It is absolutely valid for Fingon to accuse the Fëanorions of cowardice, and completely in-character for Maglor to feel incredibly guilty about not rescuing Maedhros (and in fact a pretty essential part of their dynamic, in my opinion). My issue is with fics that very much imply that this view is the Only Correct One. There are a lot of things Maglor does wrong over the course of the Silm. This is not one of them.

Beginning with the refusal to surrender to Morgoth in exchange for Maedhros’ release - I hope nobody seriously considers this a bad decision? A crushing one, certainly. You can write really sad fic about this (I plan to). But the Noldor had just received an excellent lesson in why trusting Morgoth to parley was a bad idea. They had no reason to believe that Morgoth would actually release Maedhros if they surrendered - which is correct. He wouldn’t have. The published Silm adds, “and they were constrained also by their oath” - incidentally, a fairly compelling point of evidence in favour of the oath being binding in nature to some extent, but not the point here. The point here is that they couldn’t have surrendered to Morgoth, and shouldn’t have anyway.

So, with that out of the way, we can accept that what Maglor et al are being accused of is not refusing to parley with Morgoth, but failing to mount an independent rescue mission.

(Incidentally, it’s generally assumed that Maglor, the second-eldest brother, was the one in charge during Maedhros’ captivity. I usually subscribe to this myself, but I would also like to note that Maglor is not once named during the description of these events. It’s always “the sons of Fëanor”, as a unit. You could make a pretty strong case that they were deciding things together, or even that one of his younger brothers had usurped him somewhat - C&C have form in that area…)

Actually before I move on from Morgoth’s proposed deal, an important question: did Maedhros’ brothers know that he was alive? According to (I think) the Grey Annals, Maedhros was captured in YT 1497, and suspended from Thangorodrim in YT 1498 - presumably after his brothers had refused Morgoth’s offer. That’s potentially around 10 years in which they heard nothing, before Morgoth makes them the offer! Perhaps they reasoned that Morgoth wouldn’t have put such a valuable prisoner to death; perhaps not. It’s doubtful they were offered actual proof that Maedhros was alive, at any rate.

“Sure,” you might say, “but they definitely knew he was alive once they could see him suspended from Thangorodrim!” I can’t actually express how strongly I disagree with this common headcanon. The Fëanorions couldn’t see Maedhros on the cliff! Where did people get this idea from? I presume it’s because of Legolas’ various physics-defying feats of eyesight in LoTR. I would like to make the argument here that there’s no reason to assume Noldor accustomed to the light of the Trees could see as well in the starlight as a Silvan Elf of shadowed Mirkwood, but that’s not really necessary. There’s much stronger evidence pointing clearly to the fact that Maedhros wasn’t visible: Fingolfin’s host marches right up to the gates of Angband and nobody notices him. He even yells for help, and they don’t hear him! There is no way that anyone knew he was there (and the Sun had risen by this stage, too. If he was visible, they’d have seen him.) I’m allergic to geography, so don’t take my word on this, but my understanding is that Thangorodrim is a whole little mountain range or something, not like a single cliff. As additional support for this, Fingon gets lost on his eventual rescue mission (in which he’s trying to break into Angband itself, because that’s where he thinks Maedhros is) and only finds Maedhros when he hears him singing. The Fëanorions were absolutely not spending thirty years going “ooh look clear day today! Give Nelyo a wave!”

The next thing to tackle is the odd implication that rescuing Maedhros was really easy, actually, and his brothers were cowards for not even attempting it. Not only do I think this untrue, I don’t see why you’d want it to be true? Fingon’s rescue of Maedhros is one of the best parts of the silm. It’s moving because Fingon is so so brave, and he’s brave because what he attempted was impossible. There is seriously NO reason why that should have worked, and that’s what’s wonderful about it. Suggesting that Maedhros’ brothers held back from attempting a rescue because of cowardice or not caring about him, and not because it couldn’t be done, imo really devalues the magnitude of Fingon’s act of grace.

On a more practical level, nothing about the description of the rescue mission suggests it was easy and anyone could have done it? I genuinely hate to make this joke but… one does not simply walk into Angband. Fingon is specifically described as “aided by the very darkness that Morgoth had made” - a darkness which, you recall, he had made in response to the light of the new Sun. If you’d tried to walk up to Thangorodrim before Morgoth had made his smog, you’d have been caught! There were orcs there! And probably all manner of other fell beasties! Maedhros absolutely couldn’t have been rescued before the rising of the Sun, and specifically Morgoth’s response to it.

A final point - the somewhat common claim that Fingon immediately, the instant he learned what had befallen Maedhros, set out to rescue him, and didn’t even stop to like, brush his teeth first. This is a nice image! The Russingon feels are unparalleled! Unfortunately, I don’t think the text backs it up. The published silm states that Fingon went to Angband “resolved to heal the feud that divided the Noldor”. This rather strongly implies that Fingon only left on his mission some time after he arrived at Mithrim, since there was clearly time for tensions to arise between the two hosts. One of the Annals (Grey or of Beleriand? I get them mixed up - at any rate, the timeline on Tolkien Gateway) puts this in even starker terms, stating that Fingolfin’s host arrived at Mithrim in Year 2 of the Sun, and Fingon rescued Maedhros in Year 5. That’s three years of waiting around before he set out! Now, you could headcanon that maybe Maglor et al told Fingon that Maedhros was dead, and he only later learned that they meant “captured and we never found a body” - but it’s also possible that he knew Maedhros was a captive the entire time, and still didn’t do anything. Three years is obviously not the same as thirty, but I find this detail interesting even so. It rather muddies the dichotomy of “Maedhros’ brothers didn’t care enough to rescue him, Fingon immediately saved him” that I often see.

tl;dr the Fëanorions weren’t cowards who didn’t love their brother, they were sensible and it’s tragic.

Right I hope that was a fairly measured and reasonable post (it was supposed to be at any rate) so now I can very quickly say how DARE you imply that Maglor didn’t love Maedhros consider how close he settles to Himring consider how he’s the only one Maedhros brings with him to the Mereth Aderthad consider their last debate ie the most heartbreaking dialogue in the entire book consider how he’s right and yet he still follows Maedhros in stealing the Silmarils consider how he only finally breaks after Maedhros’ death you can pry that tender loving codependent relationship from my COLD DEAD HANDS ok I’m normal now :)

[asongofstarkandtargaryen]

"Dany abused Jon" is the most ridiculous got take I've Jon//sa stans have.

The only person who actually abused Jon is your other favourite, Catelyn.

[fantasyfantasygames]

This Game Is Familiar

This Game Is Familiar, Beebo Bunkums, 2022

There are so many jokes one could make here about TGIF and "but I haven't even seen it before" and "In Soviet Russia...", so hopefully you can fill those in yourself.

In This Game Is Familiar (TGIF) you play spellcasters' familiars. The game uses the term "witches, wizards, and warlocks", so I guess the implication is that warlocks are non-binary, which I think the NB folks I know would be down for. You could be helping your caster succeed in school or work, rescuing them from their nemesis, keeping from embarrassing themselves, etc. It's much more on the "beer and pretzels" side than the "serious games about serious topics" side. Or maybe on the "together they fight crime" side.

The mechanics are in the Honey Heist / Lasers & Feelings area, with two axes instead of one. Axis #1 is Size vs. Speed. Axis #2 is Power vs. Personality. Each axis has to add to 7 independently, and you do the usual 1d6+stat. After that comes a power system that's pretty similar to the one in Everway. I think it evolved separately, but it's possible that (checks author credit) (checks it again) Beebo Bunkums did read Everway and decided to house-rule things. There's a page full of d66 tables with personality quirks.

It's a little unusual to see any substantial add-ons for a L&F hack. In addition, the powers don't really mesh with the rest of the mechanics - they're more in the "it works or it doesn't" category, like flight or not having to breathe. I wonder whether BB is actually two people who mashed their games together.

The game's setting is just sort of an assumed-D&D-type world. There's nothing explicit beyond the existence of spellcasters and some sort of magic society, so you could theoretically play this in a high-tech setting if you wanted. You'll just have to do the work of setting-building yourself.

The art is part scratchy b/w linework and part greyscale watercolor, which lends a little more credence to the "two authors" theory. The linework has the "creepy but friendly" style, where that crow could stop snacking on an eye long enough to give you a hand with the stuff on the high shelf. The watercolors are more in the Addams Family style, morose but morbidly funny.

The game's on itch, but you probably figured that out from the title and author. It's only 13 pages but it's nice and cheap.

[r0ckst4r-c0re]

for some reason, my brain has been bursting with this funny slice of life au where instead of jinshi always telling maomao that her obsession with poisons is weird, he instead slowly starts seeing the appeal. (he wouldnt go as far as to experiment on himself, he still finds that absolutely horrifying) After showing the appeal, maomao and jinshi start to form some kind of bond (?) over poisons. Basically before the romance the two have a casual friendship where they both solve mysteries (like usual in the story) and they have fun and be classic friends who make fun of goofy people in the mystery cases.

TL;DR: jinshi gets unjinshified and takes an interest in poisons. also maomao becomes friends with him

[existential-dread-in-the-am]

The worldbuilding desease is on again I have been writing and talking to myself about one imaginary town for an hour. and a waterfall. that is not even near this town but is a kind of geographical landmark that marks the unofficial border point between the the northern lands and kingdoms and the rest of everything.

I am not normal about the...i should call it a city, it's a city. its just small but its in a less populated area and much larger than anything else they have. Sure it doesn't compare to the royal city or whatever else is in the southern lakelands or along the huge damn river in the middle of the big empire everyone else hates but it's a huge thing in the area its in, it's a city. A city of stairs and travellers and mountain air and seekers and hunters and illegal magic use and every imaginable type of crime. And the gateway to the deep north. It's a city.

And i am completely normal about this fucking waterfall. It's called Heaven's Fall and it's the reason a certain kingdom is unable to effectively trade with or travel to every other kingdom in the northlands and they hate it, they're on the wrong side of the mountains cut off by this big drop and the river that flows through the pass is not boat friendly and the water portal they use to get stuff up and down the damn thing takes an insane amount of magic because the big drop of the damn waterfall of death is just too tall. And they're walled in on their opposite border by two even more annoying kingdoms (one is essentially a religious cult and the other lead by rich lords of the ocean, both very power hungry and unfriendly to their neighbours) which this one wishes it didn't have to be in any way related to but undeniably is and also acts more like them than they realise because they're largest military power of all the kingdoms and constantly trying to get literally any form of access to the big trade river on the wrong side of the mountains because the other two just cannot be worked with

Nnnnnhhhhhh

[cheetour]

my dad and i were talking about transgender people in the olympics (i.e. it's not a huge deal but complicated and interesting, and it's a shame there's so much transphobia in the world so people aren't actually looking at the sport/game/any evidence at all) and he remarked, "Maybe they'll make their own Olympics, like the Paralympics."

Obviously in reality this would be flawed, but in the utopia of my imagination I love the idea of the Pride Olympics. The circles but they're all different pride flags. Going jogging because I'm training to qualify for the Gay Olympics. The Gold Olympic Medal For Kink At Pride Discourse.

[feltcreature]

Little guy

[autumnrory]

"women are crazy for thinking they could ever be attacked in their home" is certainly a Tumblr Take

[griffinsboyfriend]

Idk what the general reception of CoP2 is, but I want another one of these crime books to go on more gay adventures with Trystan doing… fucking anything.

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

The anti reactions from yesterday have me just shaking my head. I am by no means a professed stan of Jensen. I'm a fan of his works and I've followed his career, I appreciate his interactions with the public (like cons) as well as his public persona, but I don't worship the ground the guy walks on. He's a human being who I enjoy watching on my screen from time to time in different roles or displaying said public persona. That's it. I support him, but I don't stan him blindly, if that makes sense. Not him or any other celebrity.

That being said, I found the anti/critical reactions to something Jensen allegedly said that had been tweeted out from the Dallas Con to be very interesting and highly entertaining in some cases, especially with one particular anti blog that consistently claims to love this man and want the best for him while psychoanalyzing him and hating (and blaming everything that Jensen does/says that disappoints them) on his wife with the maturity level of a fourth grader. To put it bluntly, antis showed their asses yesterday and it is pure confirmation of what I and so many on here have been saying for quite some time now in regards to these posts/blogs.

Yesterday:

Tweet from the Gold Panel: "Jensen: 'he and I don't take on projects for the impact, we're serious about what we do.'"

Me: 'huh, you know, that wording seems a bit... Eh, you know what, knowing Jensen and how this fandom works anytime he dares to breathe, I'm going to wait to see the panel myself tomorrow and get the context of the question and his answer. If anything, he just misspoke, but I highly doubt he meant it in a bad way. Knowing him, he absolutely cares about the impact it has had on so many people and he might have thought the asker meant something else. Still, I'mma wait and see for myself.'

Antis:

and one particular blog (the one that claims to love him be in love with him):

'Jensen, you're no true actor and I would know since I'm an expert on acting! How dare you! You've hurt me so deeply!'

Today:

I watched the Gold Panel. Question was did the guys think about how massive the impact SPN would be in reference to their careers aka people knowing who they are, people following them, etc. Basically, did they know what it would become, something Jensen clarifies with the fan before answering. Jensen's actual response:

"Yeah, I don't, I mean, I guess to kind of quickly break it down, I don't think he and I go into any of these, uh, jobs or roles or stories thinking about the impact it's going to have externally. I think we go into it as...you know, they hire us to come in and do a job and...and he and I both, uh, we both take that job seriously even though it may not look like it all the time. But we also have a lot of fun doing the job because we truly enjoy doing what we do. That being said, we're not thinking 'oh let's do this because I want the effect that's going to have on a greater scale'. We're just doing our job. And hopefully, it resonates to people. Hopefully, somebody out there is entertained. And if that's the case, then we've done our job."

Me trying to see what had the antis losing their minds, especially that one blog and NOT finding it anywhere:

This is why you always watch the panels for yourself and avoid anti posts/blogs at all costs. They always claim they are there to be the opposite to AA's, to apply critical thinking, to view Jensen as human instead of a god, to be the ones with "a reality check", but they jump just as quickly as that group and crucify the guy before doing due diligence. Critical thinking should also include getting your facts straight before spreading misinformation (and in this case, more hatred). This is literally the same tool kit lawyers, law enforcement, and investigative journalists use all the time. It's good old common sense.

So block, mute, filter these people. Do whatever you gotta do, but this proves once and for all what we've all been saying. These anti/critical blogs that claim to "apply critical thinking" are full of shit.

Critical thinking is defined as "the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment." The reactions were not objective, especially the one blog that had an emotional heartbroken reaction. They were subjective, colored by their own biases. They did not analyze and evaluate the situation fully before issuing a judgement; they were missing a very crucial piece of the puzzle before they started sounding off and they knew it but they didn't care.

So the next time an anti/critical blog says in defense of their hating on/criticizing of Jensen (or anyone really) that they're applying critical thinking and you should try the same when you propose an alternative point of view (about Jensen or not), just remember it's all a smoke screen of bullshit. So again, block, mute, filter, whatever you gotta do. Personally, I think this shit's hilarious and entertaining on a Real-Housewives type level.

And that one blog that had such an emotional reaction to something that Jensen didn't even say in the way they thought he did, it's one thing for you to feel the way that you do, but spreading misinformation as you did, saying Jensen is no true performer, I don't know, maybe it's time to let go of your obsession with loving (aka being in love with) and hating this guy and move on?

[cinema-hallucinations]

Prompt: Write a movie concept where pets commit crimes behind their owners' backs.

Title: Pawsecuted

Logline: By day, Mittens the cat and Duchess the Doberman are pampered pets. By night, they lead a double life as notorious jewel thieves, pulling off daring heists alongside their ragtag crew of criminal critters. However, when a ruthless new dog gang enters the scene, our furry felons must put aside their rivalry and pull off their biggest heist yet to ensure their turf – and tails – remain safe.

Characters:

Mittens (Voice): A sophisticated Siamese cat with a penchant for luxury and a talent for cracking safes. He leads the "Petty Paw" gang, a crew of pampered pets who utilize their owners' routines to their criminal advantage.

Duchess (Voice): A tough-as-nails Doberman Pinscher with a surprising amount of finesse. She heads the "Doggone Dirty Dogs," a rival pet gang known for their brute force tactics. Despite their rivalry, Duchess has a grudging respect for Mittens' skills.

Squeaks (Voice): A nervous but enthusiastic hamster, the getaway driver for the Petty Paw gang. He uses his hamster wheel to power a miniature but surprisingly fast remote-controlled car.

Biggles (Voice): A cynical parrot with a gambling addiction, the lookout for the Petty Paw gang. He provides intel from his perch on the highest shelf.

Rex (Voice): A hulking Rottweiler, the muscle for the Doggone Dirty Dogs. He lacks intelligence but makes up for it with sheer size and intimidation.

Frankie "The Ferret" (Voice): A smooth-talking ferret, the brains behind the Doggone Dirty Dogs. He relies on cunning schemes and inside information to pull off his heists.

Plot Summary:

Mittens, the notorious cat burglar, leads his crew – Squeaks the hamster getaway driver and Biggles the lookout parrot – on a daring heist to steal a priceless diamond necklace. Their plan is flawless, relying on their owner's predictable schedule and Mittens' nimble paws. However, their victory is short-lived when a new dog gang, the Doggone Dirty Dogs, led by the ruthless Frankie "The Ferret," announces their arrival on the scene.

The Doggone Dirty Dogs utilize a more aggressive approach, terrorizing owners and leaving a trail of chaos in their wake. This disrupts the delicate balance of the "pet underworld" and threatens to expose the entire criminal animal network. With their territories and reputations at stake, Mittens and Duchess are forced to swallow their pride and form an uneasy alliance.

Their combined skills – Mittens' cunning and Duchess' brute force – make them a formidable team. They plan an elaborate heist to steal "The Emerald Eye of Cleopawtra," a legendary feline artifact, hoping to lure Frankie and his gang into a trap. The action-packed climax sees the two rival pet gangs facing off in a hilarious showdown, with Squeaks' high-speed car chase and Biggles' sharp beak playing pivotal roles.

Themes:

Teamwork and the importance of overcoming rivalry for a common goal.

Finding humor and adventure in the seemingly mundane lives of pets.

The unexpected skills and intelligence hidden within our furry (and feathered) companions.

Visual Style:

The film utilizes a combination of live-action shots (showing the "normal" lives of the pets) and animated sequences (depicting their criminal activities) seamlessly blended together. The animation style for the pets is expressive and cartoony, capturing their personalities and adding a touch of humor to their daring heists. The action sequences are fast-paced and visually exciting, showcasing the unique skills and gadgets used by the different animal gangs.

Pawsecuted is a hilarious and action-packed adventure that takes viewers on a wild ride through the secret lives of pets. It's a story that reminds us that even the most pampered and domesticated creatures can harbor unexpected talents and a thirst for adventure (and maybe a little bit of bling).

[kazeofthemagun]

What kind of Villain are you?

tagged: @shiroi---kumo

tagging: y'all

Kuroki Kaze - Then Let Me Be Evil

"You never wanted to hurt anyone, but the world never gave you a choice. You did the best you could with what you had, but every innocent mistake you made was held against you when it counted, every crossroads led you down the wrong path no matter which way you went. No matter what you did, the odds were stacked against you. It wasn't fair, and you are sick and tired of being told what a monster you are for things out of your control. Well, fine. They want a monster? YOU'LL GIVE THEM A MONSTER!"