#im worried i might not be over my ex. since its been so little time since

[beautifulcherryblossomcoffee]

I really miss him so much. I want to share space with him I want to hold his hand I want to do laundry and dishes with him so badly. I thought about him as my girlfriend today, so casually, so effortlessly. I'm just.... he just makes me sooooo

[spiderlandry]

Yes, Chef — ethan landry

Description: The most loving thing one could do is cook for someone else. Ethan finds out it’s your love language.

Pairing: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader

Warnings: implication that reader is shorter than ethan, no ghostface, amber was reader’s ex but it’s only a small mention, lmk if there’s any warnings i should add !! there may be some errors since i only edited this once

Word Count: 3k

Author’s note: i wrote with a poc reader in mind, and much of reader’s experience with cooking is based off my own

Chad is starting to get worried. Exams are in a month, and even though everyone he knows is working hard to prepare, it’s like Ethan is studying as if exams are next week. Chad thinks he can even hear his roommate talking in his sleep sometimes.

He wakes up to Ethan being up at the crack of dawn, a large cup of coffee in hand and deeper bags under his eyes than yesterday.

So, yeah, it’s concerning.

He already tried to coax him into taking more care of himself, but Ethan waves it off. He’s tried other things: getting Sam to scold him, try to get him to go out and party so he’ll get tired, having Quinn threaten him.

If nothing happens, he may resort to putting sleeping pills in Ethan’s coffee.

However, there is one more thing.

You.

Ever since Ethan was introduced to the rest of his friends which included you, he’d been paying more attention to his appearance and how he’s perceived. At first Chad thought he might’ve had a crush on Tara, but Ethan slipped up one time when he not very casually asked if you were going to a group hangout, a few weeks ago.

Chad can use that knowledge to his advantage, he realizes.

Knowing you since freshman year of high-school, you’re a naturally caring person, though can be quiet or a little closed off especially since the Woodsboro murders in which you discovered that your ex-girlfriend was one of the killers.

Your gentle nature, along with his crush, can surely save Ethan from burning himself out so much that he’ll show up to finals only a skeleton, right? Hopefully.

Chad prays he’s right as he sends you a text, Friday evening.

Chad

Hey, can I ask a favor

                    depends

Might be a little weird but u know how ethan has been studying rly hard?

                    yeah u said u were worried. is he ok?

Yeah he’s fine mostly. Im just worried so Im asking if you can

like

Ask him to hang out or something

                    ? why

                     not that i would mind but why

Youre the one he would say yes to I already tried other stuff to get him to relax but man looks like hes about to pass out

Idk I have a feeling its more than about school but its not my place and I think he would open up to u

You know he has a crush on u right

                      i dont believe u but ill do it

Bro dont even act like u dont like him too

                      shut up

You roll your eyes at your phone, already coming up with a plan for a way to get Ethan to chill out. That’s when you think of it.

Ethan allows himself to sleep in during the weekends. But when he wakes up at 11 AM to a text from you that was sent at six, he immediately regrets it.

He opens his phone to read it.

hey i have this new recipe i wanna try but i need a second opinion

wanna come over after work? i get off at 5

He rubs his eyes, making sure he’s reading it right. You? Inviting him? To come over to your place alone?

He’s not proud of the way he gapes at the message for a long moment before he can answer, responding with a ‘sure!’ despite the word not conveying his excitement mixed with the worry at the pit of his stomach. Why are you inviting him alone? He can’t let himself think that it’s anything other than friendliness, right? But you only invited him, so it must mean something.

He rushes to his closet to pick out his outfit, already forgetting about the unfinished page of notes on his desk.

Ethan has known you for a good few months, since the beginning of the school year. But at this point, he’s memorized your smile and your voice, becoming less subtle as time goes on. He pays attention to every single thing you’ve said about yourself, including but not limited to how you almost went to culinary school. He remembers how you once baked a cake for Tara’s birthday, not only the batter from scratch but also the buttercream frosting. He smiles at the memory of you showing the group how to make pasta one night.

To say he’s excited is an understatement.

He doesn’t even bother getting his coffee this time so his breath doesn’t smell like it.

Chad notices that Ethan’s usual cup is still in the cupboard, mentally patting himself on the back for getting the idea to reach out to you.

It’s not long until it’s almost five, and Ethan is walking the few blocks over to your apartment, enjoying the wind. He knows not to show up empty handed, so he stops at a bodega to buy your favourite chips.

You‘d gotten home a little early due to your workplace not being too busy, thankfully. You start prep, laying out the ingredients. The knock from your door reaches your ears a few minutes later, and knowing it’s Ethan you open the door.

You’re greeted with a bag of chips to your face, taking it and seeing Ethan have a slight upturn at the corner of his lips. You mirror his expression, albeit with a wider smile (you can’t help it), letting him into your apartment. He sits down at the breakfast bar facing into the kitchen, while you stand on the other side facing him.

This isn’t the first time he’s been here, but it is the first time he’s here alone. With you. He tried to get rid of the images in his head of him being over at your place every day because you want him to be there. He can’t think like that, not now when you’re beaming up at him while you showcase the ingredients on the kitchen counter, your sentences going into one ear and out the other.

“…Ethan?” Your brows are furrowed, not knowing if he’s paying attention. You quickly catch that he’s not—he has to think for a moment about what to say.

“Uhm—“ he clears his throat. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What?” He mentally cringes at himself. He’s sure you’d think he’s not interested and oh god, what if you think he doesn’t want to be there?

You laugh lightly. “I said do you like steak? I mean, I probably should’ve asked, but—“ You’re glad he stops your ramble before it goes any further.

“I like it, don’t—don’t worry.”

“Okay, good. Because this would’ve been awkward.”

Ethan is determined not to let any weird silences happen, so he continues despite not knowing what to say. His curiosity gets the best of him. “Not that I don’t want to, but why did you invite me here? I mean…just me.”

You try to brush it off, coming up with an excuse. “I invited Tara, but she couldn’t make it.” You turn back to the ingredients to get started.

He’s glad you’re not facing him to see his shoulders practically deflate finding out that he’s not the first choice. He’s not sure why he got his hopes up so much.

Before he can say anything else, you interrupt his train of thought. “Wanna help?”

He stands up quickly, eager. “What do you need?”

Truthfully, you’d made this dish a thousand times before that you could do it in your sleep. You’re not about to try anything new when your main objective is to take Ethan’s mind off things.

“How are you with knives?” You ask, taking out a chef’s knife from the knife holder. His eyes widen, begrudgingly taking the object from your hand.

“This is gonna sound—nevermind,” He shakes his head.

“Tell me.”

“I’ve never had to…cook before.”

“Oh,” you sigh. “That’s fine. Do you not want the knife?”

“I do! I just—how do I use it?”

You smile, an image he wishes was burned into his mind. You slide the cutting board toward you, putting a handful of asparagus in the middle.

Ethan can’t help but stare at your hand at the way you delicately go through the motions of cutting, slowly to make sure he sees it. You show him how to trim the asparagus, and you give him back the knife to try.

A spark tingles throughout his hand when you put yours on it to guide him.

“Just trim all of these. Got it?”

He nods.

You prepare the steak on a separate cutting board alongside him.

“Can I ask why you’ve been studying so hard, E?”

The nickname isn’t lost on him, but he tries his best to ignore it before he accidentally cuts himself.

“Finals next month,” He says curtly.

“Is that the truth?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me. But I’m not trying to force you.”

He pauses. “Can we change the topic?”

You nod, “You pick. Turns out I’m terrible at conversation. Can you fill up a pot of water for the mini potatoes? And put some salt in it.”

“How long have you been cooking?” He puts the asparagus in the bowl they were previously in and doing as you say. With the way he gets the question out so fast, you’d think he’d been thinking about it.

“As a kid, I was around a lot of people who knew how to cook,” you begin while you prepare a pan on the stove, melting the butter. “I learned from them. International dishes, mainly. Lots of spices. But I moved to New York and started working in a kitchen when I was sixteen, so I learned about some European pastries and white people food.” You chuckle.

There’s something with the way you talk about food that makes his chest warm. It’s unfamiliar, but a welcome feeling nonetheless. It’s different from how you talk about other things—this one feels more intimate.

You continue. “I think you know, but I almost went to culinary school.”

He does know. He wonders why you didn’t go.

“I took cooking classes as an elective at my high-school. I was lucky they offered that. Senior year, I was a stage for some really pretentious restaurants—y’know, mainly as a server, but I got to know how the kitchen worked.”

He hasn’t even noticed that the butter is almost all melted on the pan and you’ve put some rosemary and thyme on it until you pause to turn to him.

You grab the cutting board with the steak on it, placing it next to the stove.

“They were the kinds of places that served small portions for high prices.” You stared at the stove, turning up the heat.

“Why didn’t you go to culinary school?” He timidly asks.

“The people,” You say it so quietly at first that he almost missed it. “I met people who made the kitchen pretty much unbearable. There was shouting…lots of it, actually. The crazy high standards. They didn’t shout at me, but seeing it from the sidelines was worse…somehow? I don’t know.”

He finds himself wanting to have a stern word with whoever made you feel that way about something you so clearly love.

He’s about to ask another question before you interrupt him.

You pick up the steak from the board, motioning for him to come closer. “Always lay away from you,” you say. “Otherwise you splash oil on yourself, ‘kay?”

He nods. He continues with his question. “Do you regret it?”

He doesn’t realize how heavy of a question it is until after he says it, and he’s going to retract his statement but you respond.

“No, actually, I don’t.”

There’s a sweetness in your voice that’s hard to catch, but for Ethan’s ears, it’s as if they’ve been attuned to your tone.

“If I went to culinary school, I would’ve started to hate it—“ You grab the tongs, using it to push the sides of the steak to the pan, “—That’s searing. You seal in the juices when the surface browns, see that?—“

When he nods, you proceed.

“I grew up believing that cooking was a way to care about people, you know? Like a love language. And If I made cooking my career, that’s not what it would be for me. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, yeah. It does.”

Once all the sides are seared, you grab a spoon and you slightly tilt the pan, using the utensil to coat the steak in the melted butter. “That’s basting. So it doesn’t lose moisture. Every time you flip a steak, it loses moisture, so just do it once.”

He thinks he’s getting repetitive when he nods once more to show that he’s actually listening.

It’s not long until the steak is done, and he’s excited to get it on the plate but instead, you put it on a baking sheet and cover it in tin foil.

“You’re next.”

His head snaps up toward you, sputtering, “What?”

“Do you want to learn?”

“Yeah—“

“Then get to work.” You smirk, and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t awaken something in him. You point to the other steak in the packaging.

He tries to remember the steps you did, but you do have to remind him what to do occasionally.

You’re standing close to him, almost hovering, but he doesn’t mind one bit. In fact, he almost leans in instinctively when you bring your hand up to his face and pushes his curls out of his face.

“You’re doing good,” you whisper.

It takes everything inside him not to collapse right there. He’d give everything to feel your hand on his face again.

You’ve set two plates on the counter. The mini potatoes were boiled nicely, and you cut them swiftly in half (a feast for Ethan’s eyes). Ethan watches while you quietly as you carefully plate the food, and he can’t help but look around him. The used pan, the knives, cutting boards, you plating the food—there’s an element of domesticity.

It’s in the way you flash a smile directed at him and only him, in the comfort of your own home, after you’ve just cooked together. He imagines a future where it’s like this every night.

You open the fridge, grabbing out two sodas. As you turn around Ethan is surprisingly close to you.

Only a few inches away.

He slowly takes the cans from you, setting it on the space next to him. All as if he’s about to wake a sleeping dragon if he were to move too quickly.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks, almost in a pleading whisper. His eyes are boring into yours, and you can’t bring yourself to look away.

“I told you.” Your tone mirrors his. “Cooking is a way to take care of someone, and I care about you.”

He doesn’t know what possesses him to do the next thing.

He brings himself closer to you, not breaking the eye contact.

Suddenly, everything makes itself known. Your breathing, shallower than his, anticipating his next move. The way your clothes touch. The cold air coming from the fridge.

He brings his hand to touch your jaw, it’s a feather-like sensation as his digits make contact with your skin. “Is this okay?”

You gulp and nod, unable to find the words.

“Need to hear you say it.”

In the lowest whisper, “Yes.”

He lifts your chin, tilting his head.

It’s a tiny pause until you’re the one taking the leap, closing the small distance and slotting your lips against his.

Everything falls away, and nothing else matters. His lips are soft. You feel his large hands go to your neck and you wrap your arms around his torso, trying to get impossibly closer.

You’re the first to pull away and you grin when he chases your lips.

“Hi,” You beam. “W—what was that for?”

“You tell me,” he smiles.

You anticipate the night to end when you’re both finished the food and the drinks, and you’ve cleaned up the kitchen.

But neither of you want it to end.

You cross your arms, facing Ethan who’s reluctantly about to open the door.

“Wanna stay?”

He turns around, tilting his head like a cute puppy. “Thought you’d never ask.”

That’s how you found yourselves cuddling on the couch, a new show on your television.

“I have to tell you something,” you whisper, eyes still on the screen.

“Hm?”

“Chad told me to ask you to hang out.” You grimace. “And before you say anything, I didn’t invite you just because of him. I was worried about you too.” You look up at him, the proximity comfortable rather than awkward.

“I figured.”

“Really?”

His arm tightens around you. “When you asked me why I was studying so hard, I remembered Chad’s been trying to get me out of it. This was his last resort.”

You snort, “His last resort was putting sleeping pills in your coffee.”

“I’m…gonna have to talk to him about that.”

“Can I ask why you’re studying?”

“To distract myself.”

You almost sit up. “From what?”

“Not tonight.” He lays your head against him again, and your trust is in his hands. “Someday.”

And someday, he’ll tell the story about how the week before, he realized he loved you. It scared him so much that it kept him up for days, but the night you kissed would be the day his worries all went away.

[youremyheaven]

hi, this is my second time sending it and i pray you receive it. i'm the 22yo anon with the relationships, social dread and sexuality question. ill try my best to rewrite as quick as possible. i would like to be guided and need your big sister advise,,, i don't know how to ask and word my issues smoothly 😓😓,,, (context- ive known to be demiromantic and little to no fixation on sex, on the asexual spectrum?) so i just turned 22 and have a crush and looks like he too likes me the same and im sure its going to get serious,, i have been nervous about talking about my preferences with my crush because someday i have to explain to them because i have friends and peers around me asking me to "get some" and that it's normal and it's how it'll change my asexuality?? to them im just faking being uncomfortable around bed talk even though i agree i can be the holiest nun but i do catch myself having the highest libido therefore take care of myself without needing anyone from time to time. pleasing for me felt like an annoying itch that needed to be scratched like most people,,, corn doesn't do it for me so I never understood the hype and didn't feel a thing,,, yes I have crushes but im not aching and wanting to bang them,, a bunch of my peers have at a young age and unsafely which got one of them pregnant, being in indian society it's looked down upon and what my friend had to go through was rough and it had a huge impact,,, though my parents are forward thinking people and openly and safely talked about this topic with me without having shame tied to it and my mother also makes it a comfortable space,, im not shaming anyone who engages in activities like these and i also understand that its human nature and it's how we procreate and evolve yet i still get very uncomfortable around sexual scenes in movies maybe it's my own childhood trauma causing this feeling of dread and discomfort from my childhood,,,,

besides my friends and family, i shared my asexuality to my aunt and baby cousin,,,,, they were supportive but kept being skeptic like my peers would saying this is temporary 💀 that i need to get laid asap which bothered me sm,,, my cousin now (a party, club going personality) too has engaged in activities with her exes since she was a preteen and im the only one in the fam who knows (desi household is no joke) and im worried for her safety though she seems independent but i do feel concerned and wonder if i should let her be because she has been distant and lord knows who she is with next,,,,she's much much younger but coming from a wealthy family kinda looks down on me and for not having any relationship experiences so distanced herself from me which hurts,,, bottom line i feel ostracized to a degree by people i care about and there is this insane pressure to have to talk about my trauma and issues around sex,,, as they say it's a man's birth right and they all want it at some point and so will your crush or men will leave you the minute they get that repulsion??😓

i might consider it for my man someday but i don't want it to affect my relationship with men??

how do i face people when im not taken seriously or call it a nun phase? i don't want to lose men over this and who better than you to ask,,,, im typing and im all teared up,,, i need clarity on how to approach this better without having internalized any pain, guilt for feeling the way i do. you can answer when you're ready and sorry i made it too long 😞😣

This is my third attempt

"this is my third attempt" 😭😭😭

girlie ur not going for JEE mains 😭😭this is just my inbox

(for non desis, JEE is a highly competitive college entrance exam,, ppl prepare for it for YEARS and some ppl commit suicide when they cant crack it 🤡 explaining it is taking the fun away from the joke but thought id give u context <33)

but ANYWAYYYS

first of all dont apologize for the long ask or for sharing your experiences,, I GOTCHU 😘💛

now about your question:

one thing u need to know is that the right person will NEVER EVER make u feel "compelled" to have sex,, ive had partners during my celibate era who i didnt even kiss lol and they were entirely fine with it

pls dont listen to your friends and family and believe that sex is something you OWE your partner/men. i had many nasty friends tell me the same or try to convince me that i "should" do it bc otherwise its not a "real" relationship and im so glad i never listened to them<33

i also know many women who are waiting for marriage to have sex but have boyfriends atm. they all have different degrees of intimacy that they're okay with (some go up to oral and leave penetrative intercourse for marriage, others just kiss, makeout and cuddle) but u can also have a zero intimacy relationship. if a man wants you and wants to be with you, HE WILL DO ANYTHING. i once told a guy (he was 21 and i was 23 and he wanted to date me) that im celibate and dont want to have sex and he said "thats perfectly fine, i didnt ask you out to sleep with you, i want to be with you, whatever your terms are, thats fine by me" and honestly there are MANY such dudes out there,, not every guy is a porn addicted weirdo who believes u OWE them sex 🤮🤢🤢🤮

u dont have to have casual sex if you dont want to!! esp since you're a virgin, i think its important for you to be wise about your partner and choose someone who is considerate and caring!!! THIS IS NOT A RACE, you can have sex later in life, i assure you its nothing special if you feel "compelled" to do it/dont like your partner/dont feel comfortable.

having another person inside u is as intimate as two people can be and it is so vulnerable,, dont rush it and dont do it with someone u dont trust to take you through the experience tenderly!!!

i think you just need to drop your friends lol,, they sound unhealthy

if i dont include my r4pist, then ive had sex with 3 people (i dont actually want to include baldie tbh but 🤢🤮) and 2 of those were with a partner (1 is my current partner) and those experiences were so pleasant and wonderful<3 ive had people tell me i "should" try casual sex 🙄but its not for me and even now i tell you, i have no issues staying celibate, i think its better to just not have sex than to have dissatisfying sex ://

you wont "lose" men over sex lol, you might lose immature men but those are exactly the guys u want nothing to do with!!! its a great way to weed them out!!!

i follow a 5 date rule with sex actually. i have to like him enough to go on atleast 5 dates with him before we do anything intimate,, if he seems impatient or too eager or whatever, then cut his nasty ass out,,

(this is just general advice for anyone, i know you dont want to have sex<3)

stop telling people your personal business btw!! you dont have to share your sex life or lack thereof with all your friends bc its none of their business at the end of the day. ESPECIALLY since they dont seem to understand where youre coming from, you should stop sharing this stuff with them. this is not info that you owe them just bc ya'll are friends. i absolutely hate sharing my personal business with my "friends" and all the times i have, i absolutely regretted it. i hate that kind of interference. like YOU dont get to have an opinion about my life lol??

basically, stay private, you do you, nothing wrong with being asexual or being celibate, sex is overhyped and most men dont know how to fck (sorry to speak facts) and the right partner wont want sex from you. there are men who take care of bedridden partners. love makes anything possible. and i hope you find someone who truly genuinely loves you so that you never have to worry about any of this.

i also hope you get better friends!!!<33

wishing u the best,

Heaven<3

[throughalleternity]

Oh my god, its like you are reading my mind because I always wanted to read a fic where genderfluid!Lucy goes on T but was too afraid to ask nerdsbianhokie because Im not Sure if they would be comfortable with it. So what are your thoughts on Lucy on T? Would they be looking forward to it from the Start, or would they be unsure if its the right Thing at first? And I would love to read a fic where the three of them (Lucy/Leon, Maggie and Alex) are happy and full of suspense watching the first changes that Happen to Lucy on T.

Yayy I love that! I haven't explicitly written Lucy on T, but I def think some of the Lucys I write try it. I have a doc from way back in April 2021 about it and then I just didn't know what I wanted from it or if other people would want it, so it never went anywhere.

I'm going to dump some thoughts below, and I have another ask about Lucy on T that I'm mulling over. As for a fic—I would like to write something, and I might post a mini fic here rather than something longer on AO3 (unless someone says that AO3 is just easier to read on?)

(Also, NerdsbianHokie said that there are very few things they will be uncomfortable with, in terms of prompts/asks, and they'll just say if it's not something they can write. So, just as a general thing, I wouldn't get super worried about making them uncomfortable with asks.)

Leon is confident but a little nervous about T, in the sense that it’s something new and slightly unpredictable, and he’s thinking about Alex and Maggie’s reactions too. He brings it up like “Hey… so I’ve started thinking about trying T”. And they’re super supportive! Which isn’t a total surprise—they had briefly brought up medical transition after Lucy came out, but she hadn’t been sure at the time, so they were like, okay we’ll go with the flow and see. (That convo and processing took longer than that, and they were unsure of how their relationships would look, but now they’ve gotten much more comfortable.)

They all do some research on their own and then talk about it so they can feel pretty prepared going in, know what’s more permanent and what’s more reversible, etc. And since Lucy came out, they’ve gotten better at being more open about their feelings/worries, so their communication is a lot better for this. 

Lucy worries about Maggie and Alex not being attracted to her after changes on T, but Maggie’s like “Have you seen my exes? I’ve been attracted to so many different types of people—aliens included. That’s never been something I’ve been limited by.” Alex is like “You know, it made me think about how people change as they age. Or things that can happen with our bodies just randomly, or because of our jobs. And I can’t imagine any of that changing how I feel about you. I know that’s not exactly the same thing, but… it’s you I love, not your body. …Wait, I mean, fuck, that’s not—I also love your body, just—” And before Alex can dig herself deeper, Lucy laughs and says she knows what she means and that she feels better about it.

Changes start slow since he’s on a low dose, which is good because he wants to feel things out and let Alex and Maggie adjust too, but he’s also a little impatient for some changes.

I usually think of him as stopping T after some time because he’s happy with how he feels and how he can be read as more ambiguous now. There are things he misses about being on T, like being more vascular and building muscle easier. But where he’s at, it’s easier to lean masc or fem in terms of presentation, and Lucy doesn’t really want more changes. 

Voice changes are what he was mostly looking forward to. It drops gradually (his voice hardly cracks, thankfully) so it’s hard to notice, but a few months in Lois and Clark come by and they’re like, are you sick? Which was really euphoric to hear. And with some voice training to push it up or down, he’s a lot happier with how he sounds. Alex and Maggie are excited for him, since they know his voice was a big source of dysphoria, and well, after they adjust, they find it pretty hot.

[summer-2024]

i will be a senior in high school in the fall and im very excited!

my main goals for this summer are:

1. apply for scholarships

2. learn to wake up with alarms and not my parents

3. be kinder to everyone (including myself)

4. (and the most unrealistic) get into a relationship again!

elaborating further:

1. the college i would like to go to is quite expensive but i fell in love with the campus and its only about an hour from my town, so i need to make up the change using scholarships. merit based scholarship through the collage covers most, and my parents will help with room and board, but there is still a good chunk i need to make up through other specialty scholarships. im doing a camp there soon to make sure i really love it so im just researching a bit right now. im planning on looking on wensites like bold.org etc

2. i need to learn how to do this asap. the camp i mentioned previously is in eleven days and breakfast starts at 7:30 and i struggle with alarms a lot. i just set one for 7:30 tomorrow morning so fingers crossed. its 11:25 now so quite late, but lights out at the camp is at 11 i think. im worried i wont get enough sleep

3. im really not a very kind person, im mean and its not good at all. im rude to myself and others and its not okay and it negatively impacts me and others. i want to be more kind, and that includes to my body. the gym has a free summer program so im planning on starting to work out as well so hopefully that will help improve my kindness as well. i need to find an exercise plan however. if i put in effort for myself thats like humility right? i got a gratitude journal as well so we will see.

4. my ex girlfriend broke up with me a little over a year ago, and ive had crushes since then but i havent even flirted with anyone i dont think. the guy i had a crush on last summer is dating another girl but the other guy i have a crush on (ironically they have the same name) just began following me on instagram so maybe theres something there. time will tell! i dont think we will have many classes together next year because i only plan to take one ap class, and this year most of our shared classes were aps (i took four this year and it was decidedly wayy too many.). regardless, im really hoping he will do this one class where they do writing for a book that my class puts together (im in graphic design) because he does creative writing and ive been fantasizing us working together on the book because the writing class this past year was all older than me and i wasnt close to many. nothing will likely come of attempting to date but we will see!

here is to hoping this summer is good!

also the reason i have so much time to do all of this is because my job isnt scheduling me but 6 hours a week so i have time to kill. i might get a second job though.

[girlingseason]

this blog isn't like, SECRET secret or anything like I'll post my face if I feel like it and if someone I know stumbles across it who cares etc. but I haven't used insta or twitter since mid-2018 which has been absolutely a net positive in my life and overall beneficial to my artistic mind because the pressure to churn out a high volume of micro content at the cost of quality was poison to my mind. Especially as a girl trying to escape poverty, the hustle culture/meritocracy myth was far too alluring. Work hard, be consistent, above all be SEEN and youll make it. But i wasnt making shit I wanted to "make it" for. I couldnt give myself permission to slow down and surrender to my natural inclination for sculpture - not literal sculpture but it's an image I've carried with me for a long time in regards to my process. I am a slow, careful and detailed creator. The things i really want and need to make take TIME to reveal themselves as I chip away. years. so for that reason and many others, instagram didnt feel like a positive creative outlet for me anymore. The only negative is that i havent had really ANY outlet at all since then, and it has weirdly impacted my motivation. Its so weird tho like?? Instagram made me feel like i had to make too many little things, but without it the little things feel like kind of a waste of energy, and since the big things are taking so fucking long to come to fruition im not getting any sense of accomplishment, or FEELING like a person who makes things. Ive just started to feel the need for a place to put the little things I make on the road to the big things, so there is some witness or at least documentation to confirm that, yes, I am still an artist. I could have started posting on instagram again but I fucking hate the algorithm and ui now and furthermore I remembered the restriction I felt on there knowing there were family, ex friends and god knows who else I knew irl following me, plus feeling like I had to be a ~brand~ always polished and consistent. Tumblr feels fixed yet ephemeral at the same time. I barely expect my posts to even be seen, but it still feels like a solidifying act, just to put something out there. I remembered too what a sanctuary tumblr was for me back in the day. Albeit a radioactive one, but I've never had that level of freedom and semi-anonymity again on the internet. I've never been able to start from scratch and just be whoever I want to be. Or post a poem without worrying whether it's perfect or fits the image I want my artistic persona to have in the future. Or post a photo I took just because it's beautiful or evokes something within me, without worrying whether it's interrupting the aesthetic of a grid. Maybe even post some music !! I want a place to stretch my legs, share things just because I made them and someone might just like it, without a single thought towards gaining followers or earning money (as much as I'd love the money!!!!! I'm liberating my art from capitalism as much as humanly possible cos it's fucking miserable otherwise!!!!!!!!). cos that's the other thing, I've gotten SO out of practice at sharing!! I don't share ANYTHING I make with ANYONE anymore and it's killing my slowly. I don't create just to express something and move on, I create because I want to connect with people. I've got such bad fucking posting paralysis ESPECIALLY if it's anything I've made. So I'm hoping this will help me get over that. Maybe feeling a little too hopeful about this considering life truly fucking sucks right now but I do currently have a hunger for creation though I don't quite know how to direct it, I'll try my best to guide it somewhere good.

[oriigirii]

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

=====

{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

========

< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

------

ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

like

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

OH

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen 

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

[cosmicgoddesswrites]

The Nanny - Prologue

Single Dad!Kuroo x Nanny!Reader

Summary: Kuroo Tetsuro is about at his wits end; there's only so much a man can take with work piling up, his divorce getting messier by the minute, and his 6-year-old daughter raising hell at home. Hiring a nanny sounds like a band-aid solution, but who knows, maybe this will work out?

Word Count: 1147, this ones a lil short since its the prologue

Warnings: Female!Reader, Some cursing, mentions of v!olence

Masterlist. Next. 

-----------------------------------------------------

Oh how Kuroo wished he could play along with his friends' banter as they pointed out the purple bite-mark peeking out from under his shirt collar.

He wished he could lie and say he had met someone to dull the ache his ex-wife had left in her wake; that he had met someone knew who felt the primal yet intimate need to mark him as theirs and only theirs.

He wished he could lie about his sex life still being active despite not having gotten any action in the past year.

The tenseness in his shoulders, the fatigue clouding his mind, the beer that had been long forgotten save for the occasional swirl of his glass, pried the truth from his tight-lipped smile.

"Actually, Emiko did that..." Kuroo admitted, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. He practically shrunk at the looks of disbelief and judgement thrown his way by his high-school friends.

"No way!" Yaku objected, "No way Emiko did that! She's an angel!"

Kuroo sighed at that. 'Was' would have been a more proper term to use, but Kuroo could never admit that out loud.

Before the divorce, Emiko was an actual angel. A gift sent from heaven that brightened her father's life each and every day.

Then Kuroo walked in on Emiko's mother on her knees in front of some stranger, some man she had brought into their shared home, with Emiko sleeping in the other room.

Since then, Emiko had begun to get more and more aggressive, often screaming at the top of her lungs, flinging her balled fists at her father, causing scenes in public to the point where the tired 28 year old couldn't even think of leaving the house with her.

Kuroo knew the divorce would take its toll on her, especially since he had to deal with his own parent's divorce at such a young age as well. But with him, well, he never became violent. He became quiet, shy, more reserved and afraid to interact with others.

But violence... Kuroo cried himself to sleep the first night Emiko hit him as he was trying to get her dressed for bed. Just the thought of it had him taking a swig of the room-temperature beer in hopes of hiding his quivering lip.

Yaku quickly masked his shock, placing his hand on the larger man's bicep. "Hey... when's the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

"Yeah," Kenma interjected, taking a swig of his fresh beer, "your bags are darker than mine." That earned a swift kick to his shin.

"Not anytime recent," Kuroo said, not even noticing Kenma kicking Yaku back. "Emiko is such a pain to get to bed now... she kept me up till 3 last night."

"Is that when she..." Yaku motioned to the bitemark, earning a nod from the father.

"You know... there's no shame in hiring some help." Yaku smiled, "have you ever thought of hiring a nanny or something?"

Kuroo's tired eyes instantly shot open as he shook his head. "Oh no, no no, if I even thought about that Hanako wouldn't let me live it down."

Yaku and Kenma both seemed to recoil at the mention of Kuroo's ex-wife.

"Well it doesn't matter what she thinks, there's a reason she's your ex-wife. She has no say in your life now." Kenma snapped, voice bitter as if that woman were here herself to hear the venom he spat.

Yaku nodded, "Exactly! And there's no shame in admitting you need help! Plus it might actually do you and Emiko some good to have a helping hand around the house."

"Oh?" Kuroo tilted his head, "And did you have someone to refer to me? Or am I supposed to comb through hundreds of nannies I'll have to buy a nanny-cam to monitor?"

Yaku pursed his lips at that. Honestly there were a lot of nannies that he knew. Being a professional volleyball player meant his teammates who were fathers often had nannies hired to help them with their kids. But that of course meant all those nannies were spoken for.

He could practically feel the lightbulb click on above his head as someone came to mind.

"Actually, I do!" he exclaimed, chugging the last of his beer before grabbing his cellphone and sending a text to Kuroo. "She's my little sister's best friend, they both went to university together. She has a degree in Early Child Development and Child Psychology, and she's very eagerly looking for work!"

Kuroo's cocky smile faltered. He didn't actually expect Yaku to have a recommendation right then and there for him. "And... she's not gonna kidnap my child?"

"No!" Yaku gasped, smacking Kuroo's arm. "She's very nice! She's young so she'll be able to keep up with Emiko, and she's got a good head on her shoulders."

Kuroo glanced down at the text. (Y/n) (L/n). He took another quick sip of his beer, maybe he could make a decision on this when he wasn't sober.

-----------------------------------------------------

Kuroo woke up to a splitting headache and the ring of his doorbell. He turned over with a groan to check the time, scoffing when he saw it was only noon.

He had some words for Hanako if she was trying to drop Emiko off at his doorstep earlier than she was supposed to. For someone who made such a big fuss about their custody agreement, she sure did enjoy skipping out on time with her daughter.

Another ring of the doorbell had him clutching his head before rushing to get on a shirt and answer the door.

His bare feet padded over to the entrance of his home, his hangover throwing caution to the wind as he opened the door without even checking to see if it actually was his ex-wife and daughter.

He whipped open the door and immediately froze in place. A young woman, somewhere in her 20s, stood before him. Her eyes trailed over his disheveled figure not-so-subtly as panic clearly set in her features.

"O-oh, Im sorry! I must have the wrong address!" She sputtered, immediately reaching for her phone, presumably to check the address she was looking for.

"Ahhh, that's okay, no worries." Kuroo mumbled, watching her curiously. The big, luxurious houses in this neighborhood were spread apart rather well, it would be difficult to get the address wrong in a place like this. "Maybe I could help you? What's the house number?"

The woman seemed to hesitate for a moment before reading off her phone, "Uhh, 726?"

This couldn't get any more awkward than it already was.

"Oh... this is the right house..."

The woman looked at him, clearly confused, "You're Kuroo? I thought you were expecting me, you texted me last night?"

Kuroo felt his heart seize. What texts?

She continued, sensing his confusion. "Ahhh... I'm (Y/n) (L/n)... the nanny?"

-----------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

@kellyyween @whore-for-anime @lilith412426

[therapy-ghost]

Masky x GN! reader - Just for tonight

Fandom: Creepypasta.

Request: No

Pronouns: none

Summary: Masky fucked up and draged Y/n into it.

Warning: Swearing, mention of abuse and poor relationship, mention death, non platonical oneshot(?).

It was late, like 11pm late, and you sat at your desk doodling on a piece of paper, when you heard a knock on your window.

Turning your head, you saw Masky, or Tim, at the window, waiting to be let in by you, but you just kinda staired.

'what the heck is he doing here at this un-godly hour' you thought, before getting up from your desk to open up the window to let in the killer.

For the last 2 months, you and Tim had been 'friends', he saved you from a poor and abusive relationship that did end up with the ex dead, and fate didnt let it stop there.

It felt like god wanted you two to be friends, running into each other multiple times after that, then you two jsut gave in, finding that you both are pretty decent together.

You obviously knew of his job but never really knew who he worked for.

"what are you doing here at this time?" you asked him in a bit of a pissed voice as he climbs in.

"what are you doing up still at this time?" he responded, giving the same tone of voice.

"Never mind that, what do you want, dont you have people to kill or some bullshit?" you explained, sitting back down on the chair you were in before.

"I...I need your help" He said, rubbing the back of his head, speaking in a tone that was odd for him.

"and what do you need help with?" you questioned.

"I might have lied and said i had a significant other" he said, making the rooms aura change, and the only sound that could be heard was the wind from the still open window.

"And how the fuck did you get yourself into this shit?" you explained, holding the bridge of your nose.

"fucking Rogers kept being a little jerk and kept saying shit like "if he didnt become a proxies he would of been dying in an apartment alone" and "he has no chance with dating", and that kinda pissed me and i said i had a significant other and now...he wants to meet them" he explained, walking over to where you were seated.

"and why do you need my help?" you asked, kind of seeing where it was going.

"I want you to pretend to be my significant other, just for tonight" He explained, grabing your shoulders and looking at you.

"Just for tonight?" you looked up at him, sounding un-sure about what was going to happen.

"Just for tonight" he said, letting go of your shoulders, letting you process the scenario.

"Ok, ill pretend to be your significant other just for tonight, but you owe me...something? ill think of it later" you explained, making Masky sigh a bit in relief.

"ok well lets go now" Maky said, grabing on to your hand, confusing the heck out of you.

"wait! now? at this hour? i would like to sleep!" you said to Tim now sounding extermely pissed.

"Well yeah, dont worry it wont be long" He explained, draging you out of your bedroom and out of your house.

~~timeskip~~

After about an hour of walking, you two came across a dark forest, walking in, the two of you made your way in deeper and deeper and deeper, untill you stoped.

"Rogers get down here!" Masky explained, before something dropped down from a near by tree, scaring you.

You then grabbed on to Tim's arm, making him look down at you for a second, then looking to the said 'Rogers' that dropped from the tree.

"so you msut be the 'significant other' Masky was talking about?" 'Rogers' questioned, giving of the vibe he was smirking under the mouth guard he had.

"Yes, that would be me, im Y/n" You said, sweating a bit cause of the stress of lying.

"and im Toby, Ticci Toby" he said, shaking your hand, making derect eye-contact.

"Ok, Now that you have met each other, i think i should get them home, since its late and all, ok say bye!" Tim explained, sounding kind of rushed, before Toby stopped him.

"No, no, She cant go now, i have a few questions to ask them" Toby explained in a child like manor, like if a kid wanted to stay at the park longer.

"No i should be getting them home, and you should be back and the mansion, now go" Tim explained, getting impatient with Ticci Toby.

"Why do you want them gone so fast, shouldnt significant other like being around each other?" Toby responed with a sly voice, making Masky 'tsk', stopping where he was.

"so...how long have you two been dating?" he started off, walking around you.

"about 2 months" you responed.

"How many dates have you gone on?"

"6, i think"

"have you two kissed yet?"

"N-no, not yet"

"Do you truely love him" This question really caught you of guard, like really did.

This was a question you couldnt lie about, if would jsut feel so wrong!

Wait, you didnt have to lie.

"Ok, We should really get going now, i think they-" before Tim could finish his sentence, with was more paniced then anything, you spoke.

"yes i do, Tim is a wonderful guy to be around and he makes me happy, if fate says that we should be together, then ill let it be, cause i know that ill be safe with him" you explained, making Tim freeze and Toby back away, satisfied with your answers, starting to walk off into the forest.

"Ok have a good night!" He said waving, before walking off more then disappearing, leaving you and masky alone.

"did you...did you really mean that last one?" Tim asked, sounding nervous, looking down.

"Yeah, i did" you responed, making there be an akward silence between the two of you before he truned to walk back in the derection of your house, you following behind.

~~timeskip~~

Getting back to your house, you two walked up to your room, sitting on your bed in silence, before Tim broke the emptyness.

"you never told me what you wanted, since i owe you for dealling with Rogers" tim said, looking over to you, you turning your head to him as well.

"Oh um, you dont owe me anything, i enjoyed myself tonight" you said, flopping backwards, making Masky give off a light chuckle, flopping back as well.

"yay, i-i did too"

I hope you all liked it, if you have an idea that you would like to see, check my pinned post and make sure im able to do it, the ask away and ill see what i can do.

Reblog, like and share this oneshot with others!

Bye!

[queenshelby]

The Last Semester – Part Eighteen

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,407

Warning: Pregnancy Mentioned

Prior Parts: https://queenshelby.tumblr.com/post/659814893025902592/the-last-semester-part-seventeen

YOUR POV

Another week had passed and there was nothing but radio silence from Cillian and you were scrambling to think about what to do.

Emma certainly achieved her goal by publishing this most ridiculous article about your relationship. Clearly, it had an effect on Cillian.

You texted him twice, but received no response. You were heartbroken and riddled with morning sickness. Yet, you carried on as if nothing had happened.

You had started your first teaching job after finishing university and finally found a small apartment in Dublin and you still hadn’t told anyone that you were pregnant. Only your stepmother knew and she promised to keep it a secret until you were ready to talk about it or make a decision about whether or not to keep the baby.

Whilst you didn’t judge anyone who chose to terminate, your choice was likely going to keep the baby. You couldn’t terminate the pregnancy. It wasn’t really an option for you and you were almost certain that you would keep the baby. You knew that you were old enough and mature enough to have this child.

Packing boxes was distracting you. There wasn’t much to pack as you hadn’t unpacked the majority of your belongings since moving from London to start with.

Your stepmother was helping you sort through everything and made a list of things you would need in the near future while looking through the basement to see what she had kept from her last pregnancy which, evidentially, wasn’t much.

It gave her a good excuse to also do the annual spring clean and clear out the rubbish that had accumulated over the years.

‘You know, he’s good with his boys so even if things don’t work out between you, I think you will find that he will be a good dad’ your stepmother said before asking you when you were planning to tell him.

‘I want him to talk to me because of what he feels and not because he has to if he finds out that I am pregnant. I will give it a few weeks and see if he comes around’ you huffed, somewhat upset by Cillian pulling away from you once again.

‘You love him don’t you?’ your stepmother then asked and you nodded, tears running down your face.

‘I just wish he felt the same’ you then said as your emotions were getting the better of you and you broke down.

‘I think he does. He is just scared. There is a lot at stake for him and, honestly, with you being so much younger he might be worried about the longevity of your relationship. He is probably waying things up. This not only impacts his personal life, the kids, but also his career and friendships’ your stepmother explained and you knew that she was right. Yet, you were angry and hormonal.

Cillian’s POV

Over the past two weeks, Cillian had done a lot of thinking.  The conflict with your father was just one final straw that had been drawn.

For months, when his agent found out about his relationship with a much younger woman, he had been told to break it off. It was bad for his career, making him a cliché of a Hollywood actor.

Then, there were his sons who had asked questions about you and his ex-wife certainly fuelled the fire when it came to their apprehension. She opposed his new relationship and, whilst he cared little about what she thought about him, Cillian had to communicate with her on a daily basis. After all, she was the mother of his children and they shared custody for them.

Then, of course, there was the fact that you were twenty years younger than Cillian and he worried that, one day, you would realise that you missed out on life and should have been with someone your own age, explore, party and travel. Do what people your age do and not be slowed down by someone so much older. The age gap between you was certainly something that bothered him on a personal level as he thought that, one day, you might change your mind about him and what you wanted.

In Cillian’s mind, the easiest way out was to break it off with you. It would solve all of his problems. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He loved you, he missed you and he wanted to be with you no matter how illogical it was.

Every night, he flicked through your photographs on his phone and he drafted one message after another to you before simply deleting them all, not knowing what to say, knowing that it was better if he didn’t say anything at all.

It wasn’t until Saturday evening, just as you finished packing up for your move, that Cillian slowly came to his senses about what he wanted and texted you with just a little bit of help from his son Charlie.

‘Hey, dad! Did you listen to what I said?’ Charlie asked as Cillian was, once again, lost in his thoughts.

‘I am sorry Charlie. What did you say?’ he asked, looking up from his phone with some help.

‘I want to go to the movies with Janine tomorrow. Is that ok?’ he asked, causing Cillian to raise an eyebrow and sigh.

‘She is only 18 months older than me and you know what?’ Charlie then said, waiting for his father’s reaction.

‘What?’ Cillian chuckled.

‘According to a very not so relevant book I just read, age doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese’ Charlie then said, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘That’s some deep poetry right there’ Cillian chuckled before agreeing to his son’s request and giving him some money to take out Janine.

‘Thanks dad. You know, this goes for you too and if you don’t make a move on Y/N, someone else will snap her up in no time’ Charlie then said with a hint of sarcasm.

‘Oh, you think so?’ Cillian chuckled and, just as he did, Charlie grabbed his father’s phone and began typing in his password.

‘Hey, give that back. I am not joking. I will ground you’ Cillian said somewhat angrily.

‘Well, I am with mum next week so you can’t really do that’ Charlie said as he finished typing before returning the phone to Cillian.

‘Fuck’ Cillian shouted as he read the message from him to you which simply read ‘I miss you’.

‘You just said a swearword. That’s naughty’ Charlie then grinned, causing Cillian to speechlessly stand in the kitchen and think about what to say now.

‘Well, I suppose this will get the conversation going. Thanks for the 50 Euro dad’ Charlie chuckled before walking into his room.

‘Grounded’ Cillian growled.

‘Fine. At least it was worth it’ Charlie winked back.  

Your Father’s POV

The same evening, your father arrived home from work to you pulling out of the driveway and a stack of garbage bags being piled up in front of the front door of the house.

‘What the…’ he growled just as your stepmother brought out the final bag.

‘Spring clean’ she said somewhat satisfied, causing him to huff.

‘Where is Y/N going?’ your father asked as he was just about to take off his shoes.

‘To Marina’s house. Movie night I think’ your stepmother said before asking your father to put the trash into the bins before taking off his shoes.

‘Sure’ he responded just as she disappeared back inside to finish off cooking and, as your father took out the trash as requested, one of the large thin plastic bags got caught on the tyre of the bicycle besides the house.

It tore almost immediately and half of its contents scattered over the wet grass.

‘For fuck sake’ your father shouted to himself as he pulled open the bin and discarded of the half full bag and the two other bags he was carrying before collecting the contents from the floor.

‘Fantastic’ he growled again with anger as he realised that it was the bag containing the bathroom contents which had spilled and, amongst old tooth brushes and a sticky tube of toothpaste, he found something unusual. A digital pregnancy test which clearly read ‘POSITIVE’.

His breath caught in his throat as he picked it up, looking at it is somewhat stunned and surprised.

Was this really happening, he wondered?

 Tag List:

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney @missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee @daydreamingnymph @fookingshelby  @thenattitude  

[deadontheinsidebut]

Hi angel!! I just wanted to say that I just found you today and I think you’re really talented! But I was wondering if I could have hc’s for suga, oikawa, and kuroo where you’re best friends with them but one day you wake up with them in your bed and ur like wait we just had a one night stand 😳. I hope this is okay and if you aren’t comfortable writing this I def understand!! Thank you!! 💞

HI ANON!!! That’s literally so nice of you wtf😳✨💗 Im sending you all the positive vibes and I’m hoping you have a wonderful day/night. 😌💗✨💗✨💗

— Waking up from a one night stand w/ Suga, Oikawa, and Kuroo

a/n: all the characters are aged up!! And there are mentions of alcohol and protective friends and siblings but it’s all cute and fun :))

—Sugawara Koshi

The two of you met in high school and immediately hit it off when you decided to become the manager for Karasuno’s volleyball team

Together, you, Daichi, and Suga formed the parent trio and looked over your little crows with pure dedication

But you and Suga had always been a little closer than the rest with your hidden sassiness and love for everyone around you

So five years after your graduation, it’s not a surprise that you two have managed to keep the bond alive

It’s been a long night at the karaoke bar with you crying over your ex dumping you and Suga doing everything in his power to comfort you

You’re definitely not in the best mindset right now as you sing your heart out to the boy who broke your heart and take shot after shot with your bestfriend

The sloshing of the alcohol in your stomach is burning and Suga tries his best to keep the two of you afloat as he calls an Uber

But he’s so out of it that he forgets your address??? So you two just end up at his house??? And the night is now fair game

You wake up with a killer headache and the smell of pancakes in the room next door

The clothes you’re wearing looks nothing like the ones from last night

Instead, you’re wearing an oversized gray sweater that smells like warm vanilla and laundry detergent

You step out of the strange bed only to notice the framed picture of you and Suga on his desk and you immediately knew where you were

As you make your way through the familiar hallway to the kitchen, you groan and whimper from the pain in your head

Suga is standing there in his pjs making breakfast??

And you stand there in shock as he turns his head to you and ask if you had a good sleep

You’re sputtering as you ask him why you’re here and what happened

And he sheepishly starts to explain the situation and how you two had ended up getting it on while drunk as hell

So you’re sitting on his chair trying to process the night as he serves you the pancakes and you go “what the actual fuck???”

You two eat breakfast in confused silence until you choke on a piece of the pancake and Suga is rushing to get you water and you two are laughing at how awkward you are

The laughing eases the tension and you two are back to just talking and teasing. He starts to apologize for last night but you reassure him that it’s definitely something to cross off the bucket list

And who knows; maybe it’s something you might want to happen twice

—Oikawa Tooru

You’re Iwaizumi’s little sister and you’ve known Oikawa since you were children

You were always by his side and watching every game of his up until he left for Brazil to pursue his dreams of volleyball

You’ve always had a crush on him and your friendship has always been strong, but maybe a future with him was too much to hope for?

Until he came to visit

You two were catching up at a local bar and laughing as if you had never been separated at all

He begins to order drinks for you and you start to blush at his familiar chivalry

You two have basically caught up on everything when you start to feel your eyes droop and your body lose its normal functions

Surprisingly, even Oikawa is a lightweight and almost passes out until he feels you tug at his sleeve and he mans up just enough to call you both a taxi to his hotel room

The smell of alcohol on Oikawa’s breath was the last thing you remembered before your eyes drifted shut

You wake up to the blinding light of the sun coming from the windows and peek open an eye to see a tuffle of dark brown hair

‘omfg...’ is all you think before you let out an ear-shattering shriek

Oikawa’s head shoots up and is darting his head side to side before registering your terrified face as you gather the blankets to cover your naked body

“Oh god... Iwa-chan is going to kill me,” Oikawa let’s out before gulping nervously

As you two begin to put together the pieces of last night, you let out a little giggle

Oikawa is actually horrified and is slightly shaking as he asks you what’s so funny

“Isn’t it so funny how I haven’t seen you in over a year and this is the first thing we do when you come back?”

He’s scratching the back of his head and turns a dark shade of red

And that’s when you had a brilliant idea

You pick up the phone and dial Iwaizumi’s number, eagerly awaiting his answer to tell him everything that happened

“Hey y/n, what’s up? You do realize our timezones are hours apart and I should be sleeping right now.”

“OIKAWA AND I HAD S*X!!!” You shout excitedly

You put him on speaker when he didn’t speak for a couple seconds

“YOU AND SHITTYKAWA DID WHAT???”

Oikawa is literally shivering in the corner with no clothes on and you’re roaring with laughter

“THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIS ASS, IM BEATING HIM ALL THE WAY TO ANOTHER PLANET-“

“P-please spare me!” Oikawa interrupts meekly

“But... just tell him to take good care of you since I can’t be there. You hear me shittykawa? Take good care of my little sister. Part of her belongs to you now.”

Oikawa looks from you to the phone and back to you before giving you a firm nod and a “yes sir” to the phone

Well, I guess that’s one way to start a relationship

—Kuroo Tetsurou

You met Kuroo the same time he met Kenma

The three of you went to the same middle school and Kuroo is the reason why you decided to play volleyball

Your job as the libero was full of diving so of course you would go hang out with Kuroo and Kenma full of fresh bruises and scrapes

Kuroo was always super protective of you from the get go and never wanted you to feel any sort of pain so it wasn’t a surprise when he was the first to help you clean up your wounds

He likes to tease you from time to time about how a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be hurting herself like that but has always supported you whenever you lost a game and encouraged you to carry on

So when you decided to go pro after highschool, he was right by your side

And it was even better since he worked with the Japan Volleyball Association

But after a devastating loss against one of the best teams in the league, you were a crying mess in Kuroo’s arms

He held you tighter than he’s ever held you and whispered words of encouragement as you two sat on your bedroom floor

And you two did the regular ritual for a depressing night where you down shot after shot while letting out every worry and doubt you’ve ever had

You were lost in the alcohol and the room was swirling more than you’ve ever experienced

You woke up to a pair of familiar biceps around your body

As you turn your body to face him, you’re met with a sly grin and beaming eyes

“GET OFF OF ME YOU BAFFOON” you cry out as you try to shove the beautiful man off your bed

“That’s not what you were saying last night,” Kuroo responds while cocking a brow

“Oh shut it you Cheshire Cat,” you mumble half-heartedly

He snakes his arm back around you and inhales the sweet scent of your neck before continuing to talk

“You know princess, if I had known you would be this good, I would’ve hit on you a looong time ago.”

You roll your eyes at his comment before surprising him by cuddling him back

“It’s not like I would’ve let you,” you mumble back

You feel him press a soft kiss on your head before holding you even closer

The day after, you two met up with Kenma for dinner and he immediately picked up on your guys’ suspicious behaviour

“You guys had s*x didn’t you,” he deadpans

“KENMA AJAOSNOSKS” was literally your reaction

Kuroo just sat there like a sly kitty cat

“You told him didn’t you?” You basically sneer

“Ah ah ah, a man never kisses and tells. Or in this case, smashes and tells?”

“No y/n, you just happen to smell like trash today so I assumed Kuroo left his mark on you.”

“HEY I’m not trash!” Kuroo barks back with a slight pout on his face

He pulls you closer until you were basically one nose apart

“Although, I don’t mind leaving my mark on you to make sure everyone knows you’re mine.”

Kenma: get me out of here

Taglist:

@janellion @darkdinosaurpeanut @personality-still-downloading

People who may enjoy hcs of their lovers:

@herakosmos @myhaikyuuhq @shrimpyblog @sugacookiies @anianimol @spicyricerice @sstardusty

[yandere-ac]

I noticed in the recent update that there was a net to keep the MC from swimming too far *cough escaping cough*. It got me thinking about what if the MC- in guise of trying to find more creatures- finds an opening big enough for them to squeeze through and almost escapes. I'm not really sure which villager/character would fit best in this situation though.

Okay so like anon, not to be like that but I would dIE FOR YOU! THIS IDEA IS SO GOOD!!! YOUR MIND! ITS TO POWERFUL ANON! But yeah this was really fun to write and I choose my two favorite bitter ex boys both wanted the same poor representative. You guessed it, it’s out boys!

Yandere Tom Nook X Reader X Yandere Redd

Hole

Sneaking. You were sneaking. It was a beautiful summer day, kids were outside playing, some were out fishing or catching bugs. But where were you? You were sneaking like a teenager trying to get past their overprotective parents. You didn’t want to sneak but you had no choice. Ever since Redd first showed up on the island Tom had been more protective than ever. He didn’t want you to wander off without him, he wouldn’t let you go outside without his permission and sometimes he would want you to sleep in his house. You used to love Tom but nowadays he was just too overbearing for your comfort. You and Tom never really said out loud that you loved each other and you never did any couple-stuff. But both of you knew, you both were in love. Or, that’s how it used to be at least. Any and all feelings for Tom that you had gone right out the door once you lost control of your life.

“Y/N? Where are you going, dear?” Shit. He had found you, he had heard you. And now he was gonna stop you. “I-umm...I was just gonna go outside and search for some sea creatures for blathers” you said, trying and failing to mask the fear and worry in your voice. “Oh? Is that right...hmm...well do you need to do that? I mean, what if you drowned? What if you got attacked by a shark or octopus? Or worse! What if Redd showed up!? You remember what happened last time right? Do you want that to happen again?!” Tom asked you, you knew very much what had occurred between you and Redd, in fact just thinking of it sent shivers down your spine and formed a pit in your stomach. But at the same time, you didn’t want to stay with Tom, you’d be lying if you said that he didn’t scare you at times. Sometimes at night, you’d hear him mumbling things in his sleep, things that made every part of your brain scream to run away and never return, yet your body refused to listen. You worried about his well-being and especially now since he seemed almost obsessed with you. “Tom, listen...I haven’t been out of the house without you for some time now and I was just hoping to have some privacy. You know I’d never wander too far off” you grabbed one of his hands, taking your other hand to gently stroke his cheek. You felt him lean into your touch as he closed his eyes. These were the moments you missed, the tender, loving gestures that you and he would exchange. But now, these moments were just a way of getting you out of his intoxicatingly strong grasp. You didn’t want to stay with Tom, not in the slightest, that Tom whom you once loved died when he started limiting your freedom.

“Mmm...oh well...I guess if you know what you’re doing. Then sure, you can go out for a while yes, yes?” He said, this brought an actual smile to your face as you gave him a hug to which he giggled in reply. “Alright! I’ll see you later Tom!” “Be careful!”

And so, you were off. You ran straight to the shop to buy a wet suit, and then you ran straight to the water to do a cannonball. You laid in the water for about twenty minutes before rising up and swimming around. You didn’t bother trying to climb over the net, you knew it was useless as any major disturbance on the net sent a notification to Tom and inform him of your apparent escape. You learned that the hard way. So instead you just tried to relax for now. Later you might visit some of your residents and maybe go talk to sable, it has been a while since the two of you talked. But for now, you were trying to find sea creatures to give to Blathers. That was until you saw something that made your eyes squint before going completely wide once you realized what it was. It was a hole! A big hole in the net! Big enough for you to fit through without alerting Tom! You could escape! You could finally leave this hell!...but...what would happen to Tom if you left, you worried what he might do to himself or the others if you leave...no...you can’t think like that! The reason Tom is unwell is because of you. The only way he can heal is if you stayed away from him, if you didn’t, his obsession would only get worse.

You swim closer to the edge of the net and Closer to the hole. Looking at it you could indeed conclude that It was big enough for you to fit through. Hastily yet carefully you went through it. Making sure not to touch anything on the way out. If you did, it would be game over. Tom would see that something, you, were trying to get through and he would lose it. That’s what made you afraid. But you just couldn’t care right now, you were done sacrificing your life for other's happiness! It’s your time to be a little selfish. To look out for yourself! Carefully navigating your legs out of the hole your whole body was now out, you were out. You could barely believe it! But you wouldn’t stick around to see if Tom saw it or not. You had a plan. There was an island a bit away from yours, which would normally take about five minutes with a plane so it would maybe take about twenty minutes to swim. If you could hold out and keep out of dangerous water, you could make it. You would either make it or drown. Either way, there was no turning back now.

As you were swimming briskly, you started to rethink your decision a little. I mean, abandoning all your friends? And what would happen with Tom? Would he become unfit to take care of Timmy and Tommy? You didn’t want to consider that scenario, you wanted to believe that he would get help. But it was hard when you had experienced how deep his possession over you had gotten. After about halfway there you realized how far away the other island truly was, your arms got very tired and you had swallowed what felt like a ton of seawater accidentally as you had swum. You’re honestly starting to give up hope of reaching the island in time. You were gonna drown. You were gonna drown. You were never gonna see your friends again, never gonna find a significant other, never get married, settle down, get a pet fish with said significant other. Never gonna- Wait...is that a...boat? A little boat, sailing off in the distance caught your attention. Maybe there was still hope! Maybe there was a chance of survival! You had to do something, anything, you had to get its attention.

“HELLO!!! IM HERE!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!” You shouted at the boat. And as if on cue, it turned around and went over to you. Yes! You had done it! You were gonna survive- Wait a minute...you recognized that boat...was that...oh god, it was! That was no other than Jolly Redd's boat. He was even worse than Tom! You had no time to think before the boat arrived in front of you. “Well well well...if it isn’t my favorite human! What are you doing all the way out here cousin?” He asked you, his voice full of glee, knowing you would need his help. “Get away from me Redd!” You said you didn’t want anything got to do with him. “Oh really? What was 'please help me' about then? I just wanna help Y/N, I don’t know why you’re getting so defensive about this. Now tell me, why are you all the way out here in the middle of the Ocean?” He asked you. Tilting his head while resting his chin above his hand, huge grin present on his face. “...ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʳʸᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵉˢᶜᵃᵖᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵀᵒᵐ” “huh? A little louder cuz, I couldn’t hear ya?” “I WAS TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM TOM OKAY!!! HE PRETTY MUCH LOCKED ME INSIDE OF HIS HOUSE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID!” Everything became deathly quiet as you said this. Out of all the answers, Redd had NOT expected that one. After quickly regaining his normal posture, he mustered up another smile on his lips. “Well, do ya need a ride, or would you like to swim for another forty minutes, hm?” Forty minutes? You had grossly underestimated the time that it would take for you to swim. “Get away from me Redd, I don’t want your help after what you did...” you told him, refusing to look at the smug bastard. “Oh Y/N. I don’t think you’ve comprehended this situation...you can either come with me or drown. Now I’d understand if you’d want to drown yourself, I would if I had to spend so much time with Nookie. But ask yourself, is this really the way you’d want to go out? By drowning? That’s lame!” He was right, god damn it! You hated that he was right. You were completely and utterly helpless right now and the only way to get out of this would be to accept his help.

You swallowed all of your pride and looked at him. He still had that shit-eating grin plastered across his face. “Alright, you win. I’ll come up on the ship...but as soon as we get to the island, that’ll be all okay!” As you said this, Redd's grin only got wider. He walked away for a few seconds before throwing a ladder down on the side of his boat closest to you. You could practically feel his joy as you climbed up the ladder. Once you were up, Redd immediately came up to you. Holding his hands together as he looked at you like a giddy kid to open up their presents. “Ohohohooo~ trust me Y/N, you won’t regret this!” He giggled as his movements got more jittery, almost as if he’s restraining himself. “Yeah yeah, whatever Redd,” you told him sternly. You didn’t want to be in his presence for any longer than you had to. Stepping in front of you, the fox pulled the curtain to the entrance open for you. You let out a loud sigh as you saw his dumb gesture. “God, shut up Redd,” you said as you walked inside, you knew he was joking. But jokes were supposed to be funny. And you hated him. “Ah come on Y/N you know I’m just yanking your chain here! I know you can fend for yourself! I’m not like good old nookie-“ “stop!” “Stop what?” Redd looked at you in confusion. “Stop trying to make yourself look better by comparing yourself to Tom! You have no right considering you’re the reason he’s like that! I know what your doing Redd! I’m never gonna join you! So quit trying, let’s just get a move on” you said aggressively, only to be met by the deep chuckles of the fox behind you. Blocking the exit. “What are you laughing at!?” You fidgeted with your hands as you backed up slightly. But it was no use since Redd blocked your exit. “Oh, cousin...you haven’t seemed to have gotten what’s happening right now...I don’t CARE If you want to come with me! You’re coming with whether you like it or not! We’re not stopping at some island. You have nowhere else to go, besides into my arms! So why don’t you make this easy for the both of us and just comply would ya?” Oh...oh no...oh god! He was being serious! “Wha...i...”

As soon as he approached you, you bolted off onto the deck. You knew you couldn't get away but you would rather drown than let yourself become some toy to this maniac. But before you could jump off the boat, Redd ran up behind you and hastily scooped you up by your arms. You thrashed and struggled but it was no use. He was so much stronger than you. “Ah Ah ahhh~ you wouldn’t want to do any myths rational now, would you cousin?” He said in a teasing manner. It made you even more irritated than you were scared. And so, you elbowed him right in his face. He instinctively dropped you as you did this but he quickly grabbed your leg and threw you back onto the deck before Anything could happen. There you laid, on the floor with a rage full fox above you. He was still mumbling curse words under his breath as his face still hurt. But he didn’t care, he just grabbed you roughly by the hand as he dragged you inside. You were being pulled to the furniture part of his boat, all while trying to punch, scratch or halt Redd. But nothing worked. Soon it dawned on you where exactly he was taking you. He was taking you to the big iron door at the back of his boat. The one looming door that had a giant padlock on it. “I wanted to do this the easy way Y/N! Trust me, I did! But if you’re gonna act like this then I’ll simply have to do it the hard way!” He yelled as he threw you up against the wall. The impact made you fall down and lose part of your consciousness for a few seconds. While you were trying to regain yourself, Redd opened the padlock with a key. As he turned around he saw what you were trying to do, you were trying to crawl away. You were failing, of course, the meek attempt made him chortle as he now calmed down a little. “Oh Y/N...” he said softly as he picked you up, looking right into your eyes as he continued. “You can’t escape, and no one is coming for you. Better make yourself comfortable because the ride home is long” while he told you this, he walked in the room. It looked like a bedroom. In the middle of it was a mattress, did...did he plan to do this? How long had he planned to kidnap you!? He placed you on the bed and kissed you on your forehead. You tried to protest but only weak movements and a small groan came out. Redd walked to the door but just before he closed it he turned to you, eyes gentle and seemed very genuine. “Sleep well...”

That was a couple of hours ago. Redd was now steering the boat and was whistling to himself in glee. He got you, he finally got you! And he didn’t even have to do anything, you were just served to him on a silver platter. But before he could think of anything else he felt a powerful wave hit the entire ship. It sent him falling down to his knees. Some madman had crashed into them! Walking outside with violent steps Redd was getting ready to curse out whoever had driven into them. “HEY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH-“ he quickly shut up once he saw who was in the boat. In the boat that had driven into his side sat a very angry tanooki. It was Tom, as he looked at Redd the glare he gave sent shivers down Redd's spine. Let’s just say, if looks could kill, Redd would be dead where he stood.

“Redd! Where is Y/N!” Tom asked, well it was more of a demand. “How did...how did you find me” Redd was completely and utterly baffled. He was out in the middle of the ocean, yet Tom had managed to get to him. “Where is Y/N. I know they’re here so quit acting stupid and tell me where they are!” Tom was raising his voice more and more as he got madder and madder. Redd has taken everything from him once, he wasn’t gonna let him take it again. “No chance nookie! Don’t you think there’s a reason they’re out here? Maybe it’s because they hate you! Maybe it’s because they hate that you act like a restrictive psycho! Have you ever thought of that Tom! Huh? Huh?!” Redd was now leaning over the railing of his boat. He was almost face to face with his bitter rival. “SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP REDD! I HATE YOU! I-“ Tom grabbed ahold of Redd's shoulders and pulled him down, into the water. “HATE YOU!!!!”

You were peacefully sleeping as the now slightly wet tanooki walked up to your tranquil form. He kneeled down and stroked your cheek, as he smiled to himself. Poor Y/N. Such a sweet individual didn’t deserve to be touched by someone as sleazy and dishonest as Redd. Thus he picked you up and walked over to his motorboat. You were going home.

“Helloooo....wakey wakey...Y/N dear? Can you open your eyes?” You could hear a distant voice say but it was very blurry. Lifting your eyelids open felt like lifting iron weights, but as soon as you caught a glimpse of who was next to you your eyes went wide open with fear. “TOM!?” You threw your body away from him. Backing up until your back was up against the wall. “Ah your awake now, good...you’ve been sleeping for quite some time now. I’ll be honest, for a minute there I thought you were dead” he laughed a little to himself as he said this, a laugh which at one point you thought was adorable but now struck terror right into your chest. “Silly me...oh! Now that you’re awake, are the chains too tight? Do you want Me to loosen them for you?” He asked you. What? You had been so preoccupied with the fear that you hadn’t realized that you did indeed have chains and chuckles attached to your wrists. They were very long so you weren’t exactly chained up to the wall, but they were just short enough so you wouldn’t be able to move around too much. This is when you started hyperventilating. Why were you here? Where was Redd? How did Tom find you?!

“Oh! No no shhh, don’t worry, I’m here, I’m here...Redd won’t ever get you...I made sure of that...” what the hell did he mean by that!? “H-how did you find me?” You asked him, voice quivering just like you were. “Oh Y/N, did you think that the net notifications were the only way for me to see if you escaped?” He said as he petted your head. He hadn’t been so certain whether it was necessary to implant that chip in you, he thought that he could trust you enough but it would seem that he really couldn’t. “By the way, thanks for bringing that up. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out your punishment for trying to leave me. Don’t think just because I’m happy I got you back that I’m not angry, that I’m not sad, that I’m not heartbroken that you would ever think to escape from me! I just want you to be safe and this is how you repay me!” His tone got a little angrier towards the end but he quickly gathered himself in front of you. He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You hurt me Y/N...but I’m happy you’re alright...and your safety is the only thing that matters right now,” he said as he snuggled up to you. The tanooki was madly in love with you. He wanted you to be with him for the rest of his life. He had tried to do it with you being free. But it had seemed like he couldn’t trust you with that freedom. So, he would have to lock you in, cage you up, keep you with him. Whether you liked it or not. He was gonna be with you. By this point tears had started to well up in your eyes, your whimpers getting stronger once Tom started cooing you, stroking your hair.

“Don’t cry Y/N....I...I love you...”

He said it. He had said it. The three words that you had dreaded him saying. Up until now. You could have just pretended that Tom was just a very protective friend. But now...now? He had admitted to loving you. You couldn’t back out now. You couldn’t keep that level of comfort in that Tom wouldn’t do anything to engage a relationship, but now it was only a question of when he would actually start proposing ideas of dates and stuff. You were doomed. Doomed forever with this possessive, lovesick man. You couldn’t handle it.

You started sobbing. Tears that had threatened to spill started pouring out. The only thing you could do was bury your head in Toms's neck, closing your eyes and hoping this was all just a nightmare. That you would wake up and all of this would’ve just been a dream. But it wouldn’t, this was your life now. And you wished you would have just chosen to drown instead of joining Redd.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

[plush-rabbit]

What headcanons you have in request box actually? I'm really curious lol. Have nice day btw, I love your work!!!!!

Okay, so usually I put some in a doc and then like figure it out from there so if you've sent one in and haven't seen it, don't worry, it'll be done and added once I make a dent lmao. These are also a mix of hc and fics. Some I'm like part way through so ye

There also might be some that I might not do because its vague, like I'm given just the prompt and I don't know what to do with it or there's just no ideas that come to mind so I really am sorry.

Upcoming ones:

Met with Dia and he said “how else will you please me?” And I think it awoke something in me?? Can I request Diavolo with a bashful innocent MC and him just laying back and letting her have his way with him? But of course he’s a total dom so he’s gonna take control but just has a little fun letting her take the reins to start with? Hi. I just found your stuff and you write so well for Obey Me. Could I request a fic with Barbatos and a female MC? Maybe she's staying at the palace for whatever reason and when he goes to his room he hears her moaning his name so he checks on her but she's sleeping. The next day he hints that she must've had a good dream much to her dismay. That night he goes to her room and she's awake and they end up sleeping together. With some praise and maybe even some tail action. Thank you! Can I please get a uuuhhh possessive/borderline yandere Leon please :3c maybe it’s after a big match for her and everyone’s fawning over her and he steals her away and reminds her that she’s his? 💕✨ I saw those headcanons where Jin and Shigaraki became parental or sibling figures to the reader sooooooo how about headcanons of a fem!reader being a mother figure to the league? Just an ordinary citizen in her late twenties until she met the LOV unexpectedly, during the time where the league had to hide and the reader's place is conveniently open (then again I'm sure they'd bust in if it wasn't) and she didn't rat them out. This happened quite a lot of times to the point where the reader is used to it by now and just lets them in, even if they weren't hiding from anyone and just wants to stay for the night. When she got closer to the league, she starts to show care and love for them in a way a mother would the reader isn't a member of the league, but they already consider her as family :'D I just really want them to get care and love since they've been through so much Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 I like the Lucky!Cat!reader hc. Could you do some for the LOV, with a Male Cat s/o? Thank you! You're the best!! I've been obsessing about flowers and their meanings or what they symbolize soooooo. How would the LOV react to their s/o giving them a certain flower and then finding out what the flower means/symbolizes? Hope this passes! It's a request for OM. Can I have headcanons of the brothers + Diavolo (if you don't mind) of their s/o dancing "Paradise Lost" by GAIN? Provided you a link to the video for reference 😁: https://youtu.be/4i32ANEa5mk Headcanons where the LOV has an s/o whose like a literal ball of sunshine. Always happy and bubbly, smiling and laughing, they just seem to epitome of joy. Until one day, they just break down, being so emotionally drained from different factors that they can keep up the act of being happy anymore Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 hey!! hru? i have a question do you think shigaraki would like a threesome? what if his s/o didn’t want one bc she’s like possessive of him (in a non toxic way) hey plush, can you do a reader x Shiggy and Dabi whos crying to them/grabbing their shirts and burring themselves into shiggy and dabi/ about their verbally abusive ex, how theyre so different from them, so much nicer and softer, how they(the reader) never thought they could be loved or deserved kindness? its been one of those days, i just need some comfort. thank you♡ heyy!! ^^ can i request some headcanons for hawks reacting to his female s/o belly dancing for him? :3 Heyo this is beetle juice anon idk if u remember me I’m the person who said shiggy sounds like beetle juice, I swear I couldn’t get that thought out of my head so can I request shiggy and reader getting hit by a quirk that forces them to do a musically ( idk I just want shiggy to sing honestly lmaoooo) idk maybe both of them being shocked that both of them can sing hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 So, like. Hear me out. What if, with Bakugou and Dabi (separate) : MC is super innocent and cute, blushes at the slightest flirt, and “doesn’t get” dirty jokes, but as soon as they’re alone with their s/o? They are the kinkiest most vulgar bottom they’ve ever seen. Nipples pierced, collar under the turtleneck, chain strung between the piercings and the collar, all out kinda slut. The duality of man. (Gender neutral) Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me) hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 could we get a fem reader cock warming Dabi throughout the night and get morning sex >//< // ik youre a busy bee so dont feel obligated to rush or anything, take ur time plushie!♡ can we please get a shiggy x reader and the reader asks him to teach her how to game and she ends up being better than him and whatnot (inspired by that “a simple wager”) fic (if you ever decide to make a sequel to that i will ve DECEASED Can I request a sub shigaraki with a mommy kink getting pegged by the reader ( I just want to make him beg and cry honestly) reader is a female Omh give us noncon/somno w scary eraserhead plsss / aizawa and aphrodisiac smut pwease ( ；∀；) Overhaul and Chrono punishing quirkless reader for being an undercover reporter/agent but like orgasm denial... (Idk if you write this stuff but anyways do it if you want have a nice night) Can I request something like “Peaches and Cream” but with Piers instead? I know you’re busy with other requests, so don’t worry if you don’t have time for this one! I love love your writing!!! Hello beautiful can I just say how amazing ur writing is loll, can I request shigaraki having a crush on the reader and she knows about it, like one day shiggy just goes to her room when there on a mission and just steals her stuff and humps her pillows, but she has cameras in her room so she saw everything, long story short she shows him the videos and humiliates him (shiggy of course a mess and is close to crying from how embarrassing that is, lowkey turned on ) the reader takes care of him ( sorry I’m really bad at endings 🙏🏻😅) the reader pegs him until he’s a crying mess. By the way the reader is a female and shigaraki is a sub has a mommy kink and the reader is dom of that’s ok of course I love your writing!! May I ask for Diavolo x F!Reader with borderline disorder? 👉👈.. Lately it has been very difficult for me to deal with this alone and Diavolo is mine comfort character.. (NSFW Talk, If your a minor..then why are you even reading this?? Get off this 18+ page?? Anyways-). I am a huge sucker for overstimulation, biting and crying, (many of my past partners have called me a sadist-) and I just 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 the idea of Tamaki’s cute face streaming with tears and drool as Male Reader vigorously overstims the fuck out of him. And he would look so 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 with his mouth gaping open in a silent scream of overwhelming pleasure because M!Reader gave his sensitive dick a handjob while he roughly railed Tamaki’s pretty little ass. (While abusing the fuck out of his G Spot, of course). I can just imagine him squirming and begging for mercy while M!Reader lovingly wrecks his body, taking him hard & fast in multiple different positions with each one making Tamaki wail with pleasure. He’s just so adorable, I just wanna see him get 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝~ Lusty ❤︎ -Anon. Bonus Points if you could have M!Reader be super fuckin tall, muscular, strong and also be absolutely PACKING. (This man has a godly dick, and it’s honestly a surprise Tamaki can take it so well without literally breaking in half) ahhhh hewwo could you maybe write something with dbd ghostface going full apotheosis for his crush? as in,, he starts to elevate her to a status of divinity and even when she's just cowering in fear in front of him or conversely stabbing him and causing him lots of pain he just keeps viewing her as some sort of deity and  can't stop obsessing over her and wanting more from her

Again. I deeply apologize for not doing some. I wish I could, but (and this is not to guilt trip any of yall or anything, I understand that it'll sound like that it but it ain't it) sometimes the work I put into something and the feedback I get is sometimes not it. Like I'll work hard and get nothing and listen, I get it, its fanfic, there's a bit more stigma to it rather than art but yeah. Its a ramble, and basically, I don't wanna put work into something that I'll only get a few likes on. So yeah. Agains this isn't guilt tripping, I get it. I'm a consumer of it and I get the gist of it but yeah. More thoughts later, when I can properly sit and write as I am currently in a home depot 

[91percentpynch]

lonely heart - kevaaron au pt 4

oh look it‘s me, coming out of my dark hole to make you suffer with a super sad chapter with a nasty cliffhanger:) so get your tissues ready and enjoy!! okay first of all sorry that i didn‘t update this in a g e s and that it‘s rather short and for the cliffhanger, but i‘ll try to update it more regularly now:)

check this out for the other parts:)

trigger warnings: drug abuse, mention of suicide, mention of mental health issues, very sad aaron, mention of blood

“You were too good for me”, Aaron whispered into the void. “You were way too fucking good for me. You made me a better man. And I fucked up”

Aaron got up as he felt the tears burning in his eyes. He knew he wouldn‘t be able to sleep alone tonight. Like every single goddamn night since he left Kevin. Like every single goddamn night since he made the biggest mistake of his life.

„Taylor?“, the blonde haired boy murmered, „You up?“

„Babe, you know I‘m up. My girlfriend lives three states away, we talk every single day at the same time as you call your man. Not that I would be able to sleep when you call him, cause a) i love Day and b) you‘re always sad and high and end up in my room anygays, so did he take the phone darling?“

Taylor was Aaron‘s roommate and the closest thing he had to a best friend. She had been there for him every single day, cuddled him, held him while he cried and dried his tears afterwards. And Aaron did the same when she misssed her girlfriend too much.

„You do realize he is not my man anymore, I fucked that up. Big time. He did actually take the phone just to tell me to fuck off and stop calling“

„You could always go over there and say it in his pretty face. Didn’t say you can’t come over did he?Pro point: Might lead to making out“, Taylor said while taking him in her arms. „Plus another pro point: you‘d get sober again. And you‘re less moody. No offense but a Kevin-less Aaron is hardly managable, like you‘re either a whiny little bitch or you‘ll give me the death glare of the cenutry. Legit worse than Andrew‘s and I called him a cute little baby boo once when I was drunk and he almost stabbed me right there with a look on his face like I just murdered Neil in front of him“

„Tay, I take that as a compliment. And we both know Kevin’s a bit of a dumbass so he did not exactly tell me Not To Come over just stopp calling. Anyways I don‘t even know where he lives. And stop talking about me getting high, you do the same shit“

„Yeah but I know my limits and I have not the same history as you. And for the i DoN‘t EvEn KnOwS wHeRe He LiVeS, phone number. Now“

„O- okay“, Aaron said and told her Kevin‘s phone number while Taylor calmingly stroked his back.

„Neat, got him“, Taylor said after a while. „He‘s with the scary big dude and his adorable little boyfriend I think? I have their address right here, I think we‘re gonna visit them tomorrow cause it‘s like 4 am right now and we don‘t wanna rob him his beauty sleep plus we don‘t want to wake the scary big dude. And I‘m pretty sure the adorable small golden retriver boy could and would stab us“

„Did you just stalk my ex and located his phone at 4 am like fucking Garcias in Criminal Minds?“, Aaron said confused.

„Anything for you big guy. And as I said I miss Day‘s pretty face, preferably in your pretty face so you shut the fuck up about how stressed and depressed and lonely you are.“, Taylor chuckled as Aaron looked at her shocked.

„Well I miss Casey, preferable in your face so YOU shut up“, Aaron was never as good in witty remarks as his brother. Especially high Aaron.

„Babe I think it‘s time for you to go to bed, you‘re not fun when you‘re sad, high and tired. Come here, let me cuddle you, while you whiney little bitch sleep“

Aaron slowly went over to Taylor and into her loving arms, laying down, trying to fall asleep.

After a long while aaron drifted into sleep, just to be greeted by familiar smaragd eyes. In his dream Kevin and he never broke up. Kevin was on top of him, his hands gently discovered Aaron‘s body, touching him as if he was sacred, something to worship. Kevin‘s lips were at Aaron‘s ear whispering sweet nothingness. Aaron‘s hips moved against Kevin‘s loving touch. „Stress release“ Kevin called these holy moments in dawn. „Highlight of my day“ Aaron called them.

The dream was as beautiful as it was cruel. It was as if his body, his mind were as much refusing as able to believe that Kevin was gone. It was his own fault, Aaron knew it. But the ever present voice of his mother, disapproving and disgusting, in his head was just too much for him to handle. He thought - foolish as Aaron was - that the pain of living without Kevin would be better, less cruel, less painful. But he never knew real love and therefore never experienced its lost. Until that faitful day. Until Kevin took his bags and left.

Aaron was used to pain. The hot one after an extraordinarily vicious hit. The cold one when his mother died. The numbing one when the hunger was growing more and more unbareable. But nothing was even slightly as hard to handle as the loss of Kevin in his life.

Kevin was the first good thing Aaron had. He gave him a will to stay, to try, to give this stupid sport everything he got. And Exy turned into more mundane things like getting his eating routine under control or getting a more or less acceptable sleeping schedule. The dark days were still there, for both of them, and they would probably never leave them completely alone, but they got less. And when they did happen they would hold each other together.

Ever since he fucked up things with Kevin, Aaron had more and more dark days. The voice of his mother telling him he‘s a failure, the bored stare of his brother and Aaron convincing himself Andrew wouldn‘t even bet an eye if he died, the voice telling him the world would be a better place without him growing louder and lourder every passing day.

Logically he could say that the death of a single person wouldn‘t change much for the over all world population, expect maybe it‘s some kind of insane mademan dicator or someone important, but still. It made sense. All he did after all was fucking up, being a failure, never good enough, never perfect.

His lonely heart only screamed Kevin‘s name and he knew if Kevin didn‘t take him back, his life wouldn‘t make much sense anymore. Well he would definetly not tell Kevin that. He would not manipulate Kevin into loving him, because that wouldn‘t be much better than not having him at all.

Aaron woke up the next day around noon. He didn‘t really feel like getting up, like getting up was simply too much. But Aaron knew he had to. He didn‘t want to worry Taylor more than he already did. And it would end today. One way or the other.

So he got up, put on the first pair of black jeans he could find and the first sweater his hands could find. Ironically it was one of the sweaters Kevin gave him, on the third of december last year. It was one of Aaron‘s favourites as well.

„Ready for the big Day, small guy?“, Taylor said winking at him.

„Not really? What the fuck am I supposed to do there anyways?“, Aaron replied on his way to the coffee maker.

„Talk to him? Deliver one of those borderline cringe big speeches. Get im flowers. Break into his bedroom and say ‚Draw me like one of your french girls‘, naked of course“, Taylor laughed at the face Aaron made, listening to her suggestions.

„I think I like the big speech. I mean I‘m shit with words, but I‘m sure you want to help your boy getting ‚his man‘ back, right? Also what kind of flowers would you give someone you dumped cause the voice of your dead mother told you it was wrong and disgusting, which you never told him for obvious reasons?“

„Honey, you‘re so fucked up sometimes, I love you but you should go to a therapist or something. Also I‘d say sunflowers or roses? I don‘t speak flowers man, I‘m the tech nerd. Not the romantic one, the nerd. But we‘re gonna make a snazzy speech and you‘re gonna get your man back“

After their typical breakfast - if Aaron didn‘t forget to eat again - they sat down together on the living room floor, paper and pen ready, trying to write the world changing speech.

„Why is this so fucking hard? Why can I only tell him how much I love and miss him when I‘m high off my ass“, Aaron complained.

„What about you don‘t think about him that much. Just tell me what you love about him and then we write that down?“, Taylor suggested.

Aaron took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. „I loved him because he was the first one who saw me. Aaron Minyard. And not just the other Minyard, the lesser twin, the shadow of Andrew. He looked at me and somehow chose me. Even if he could have had everyone else. He chose me, even though I‘m not special. Kevin chose the failure when he could have had the first prize. He looked at me and saw something worth loving, worth keeping around. Hardly anyone could tell Andrew and me apart. But it took him less than a day to do so. Kevin is strong, so so strong and somehow chose the most fragile thing he could find, took it and made it worth soemthing. Kevin made me feel something. Not numbness. Not pain. Something warm and beautiful and living. He gave me a reason to stay alive. Kevin made my life bearable, he made my life beautiful. We were both broken and we would probably still be broken if we were together but we softened each other‘s edges. Kevin believed in me when no one else would. He knew how I felt, knew what I needed and when I needed it. Kev gave me love and safety and I kicked it with my feet. This man is like a god who fell for whatever reasons for a homeless man. And I know I don‘t deserve him but I also know I cannot live without him. And I know that I must tell him that before it‘s too late. If it‘s not too late already“

Taylor wipped a tear out of her eyes. „That‘s it. You tell him that and we‘ll get him back“, she said. „Can I hug you?“

„Sure you loser“

„Ah there is my boy“

They spent the rest of the afternoon writing down the speech, making edits here and there. In the end Aaron collected the pages and went to his room to change. He replaced Kevin‘s sweater with a simple black jumper, put on his Docs, got his keys and left.

Aaro did feel a little uncomfortable, stalking Kevin like that. But he knew this was his chance to fix things. This was his chance to get Kevin back, to make his life worth living again. Which to be fair was a bit selfish, but you are allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren‘t you?

Jean and Jeremy‘s apartment complex was a 15 minute drive away from the flat Aaron shared with his three roommates. Theirs was fanzier, obviously. After all Jeremy was a professional Exy player and Jean was some kind of semi famous artist or fashion maker or whatever. They could give Kevin the world. They could give him what he desereved. All Aaron had to offer was an apology and his love. No money. Not yet anyway. Just anxiety, depression and stress.

But if Kevin was willing to take his love, to give Aaron one more chance, he promised himself Aaron would make it count. He will tell Kevin how much he loves Kevin every single god damn day. Aaron will get therapy and work on his issues. Sober up and this time for good. He will do anything to be worth of god‘s love. Just that god in his case was a twenty two year old boy with black hair, forming soft waves at the end and a smile that will make the sun jealous. Eyes made out of smaragd. Lips so sinful and kissable.

Aaron sat down in front of the door, waiting for his courage to come back to him. He could do this. He would get his man back.

Hours passed, or maybe it were only minutes or seconds after all before someone came closer. Ever so slowly Aaron lifted his head, just to look in the ever so familiar green eyes, big with shock.

„You said to stop calling. You never mentioned face to face conversations“, Aaron said, his voice hoarse.

Kevin stared at him as if he was a ghost, a reminder of his past life, something he rather wanted to forget.

„Look I know I fucked up. I know I‘m not good enough for you. I know you deserve the world and I cannot give it to you. And when you look me in the eyes and tell me you don‘t feel anything for me anymore, no love or hate or affection or whatever humans feel, I will turn away right now and go and never come back. Never bother you again. But if you allow me to apologize, if you however decide to gieve me one last chance, I prepared this whole ass speech for you“

Aaron was sure they could hear his heart beating against his chest, roaring, screaming to return home. To return to Kevin where it belonged.

Kevin‘s eyes wandered to the floor, his fingers automatically closed around his left wrist. A nervous habit. Just another little part that makes Aaron‘s heart ache.

Slowly, almost painfully slowly, he lifted those unbelieveable beautiful eyes and met Aaron‘s golden ones. Kevin studied him and the world around them stopped.

Out of the corner of Aaron‘s eyes he could see Jean going still, his breathing too calm, too even. It‘s the same thing Andrew does when someone fucks with Josten. At least his death would be fast. Or slow. Whatever. Aaron didn‘t really care, without Kevin it wasn‘t worth anygthing anyway.

„Why“, Kevin said after what feels like forever, „Why would I forgive you? Why would I give you another chance? Why would you think you can come back here just to fuck me over again? Aaron I loved you, I really did. I always will. You were my first love and maybe, yeah maybe, my last one. But right now I can‘t. I just, I just can‘t. Please leave. Please leave me alone. For now. Maybe, one day we can talk about it. But right now I cannot handle the thought of you to leave me. To tell me all these beautiful lies, to cut me open and leave me to bleed out. I love you“, tears were running down Kevin‘s cheek. Tears Aaron one day, a long time ago, promised himself he would never let Kevin feel again. Pain. Sadness. Everything because of his failure, because of his weakness, because he‘s a fucking piece of shit.

„Thank you for giving me a reason to stay. Jusst remember that you were my light, my warmth, my happiness and I never stopped loving you. Never will. Please just be happy“, Aaron replied as he turned around to walk to his cars.

When he was sure he was out of ear shot, he let himself feel. Feel the pain. Feel the loneliness. Feel the numbness and the cold and the hatred. It was in that moment, that moment where he was alone and nothing more to lose, that he decided that it was enough. He would end it. End it tonight.

„Thank you“, he texted Taylor. „I‘m glad I didn‘t eat you in the womb“, he texted Andrew. „You were not so bad after all“, he sent to Neil. And lastly „Thank you for taking me under your wing“, to Nicky. They would understand. It would take them some time but in the end they would feel better. They would be happier without them. Because at the end of the day he caused them pain and wasn‘t really worth a thing.

So when he got in his car, tears running uncontrallably down his cheeks, he knew what he had to do.

[autistic--cryptid]

INFODUMP ABOUT UNDERTALE TO ME RIGHT NOW :O /POS

(about Anything At All idc if its rambly bullet points or anything pls im begging u this is lichrally my special interest cmon pleaseee /lh)

OKOK I WILL!!! /pos

cant put this under the cut on mobile so here’s your warning that this will b a very long post!!

random chara hearcanons + ramblings bc CHARA MY BELOVED!!!

i might be projecting but i hc that chara has depression and ptsd! we know they hated people bc of what asriel says during the epilogue, “I know why Chara climbed the mountain. It wasn't for a very happy reason. Frisk. I'll be honest with you. Chara hated humanity.” and i think they hate humanity so much bc of some trauma other people caused. chara is angry and upset, and probably starts to hate humanity more once they learn about all of the pain humans have caused monsters. they aren’t evil or mean, they’re traumatized and hate people because they’ve been hurt so many times

i like to think that chara is so close with asriel in part bc he was one of the first people they felt like they could fully trust. asriel was with them through everything, saved them, gave them a home, etc. i think chara loved him so much in part bc asriel was there for them when everyone else had hurt them

i think chara erases the world at the end of the genocide run because of frisk’s actions in that run and not bc they themselves are cruel. chara is smart, they know that a frisk who would kill all monsters would likely be interested in destroying things alongside chara. the way i see it, chara is angry. they had to watch frisk kill their friends and family, the monsters who took them in and protected them after they had been hurt so bad by humans. chara watched them hurt asriel after he cried and begged for them not to hurt him. they watched frisk reset over and over at every save point, trying to hard to kill everyone and everything and not stopping even when they themselves are struck down. and they don’t have a body anymore so they couldn’t do anything to stop it. genocide run frisk shows what chara hates in humanity: mercilessness and cruelity for the sake of cruelity. they want to get revenge on frisk and stop them from hurting alphys and the monsters who hid and escaped. they want to stop frisk from hurting people beyond the barrier. chara constantly says “just finish the job” throughout the run because they’re exhausted and can’t stand watching frisk hurt these monsters anymore, they just want everything to end. the reason they only come out at the end is fear, in part, and the fact that watching asriel be killed despite his cries and begs was the last thing they could take. when they say “it’s me, chara!” in the mirror in toriel’s home rather than “it’s you” i like to think it’s for a similar reason that sans says “pretend to be a human” to frisk, and for the same reason that some theorize he would make fake blood at the end of the battle with him. chara wants frisk to see another person, hoping maybe they’ll find some goodness and humanity. just like some theorize that sans would use ketchup as fake blood to make frisk see that they’re hurting people like themselves as well, chara wants frisk to see that frisk is human to remind them of any good humanity they might have. they aren’t evil and they aren’t seeing themselves in frisk’s actions, they’re trying to stop frisk from hurting everyone and trying to get revenge on frisk for the pain they’ve caused. the reason why you get a photo with chara and everyone’s faces crossed out or a chara nightmare when you finish a pacifist run after a genocide run is chara reminding frisk of the pain they caused and showing them that the atrocities they committed aren’t something they can just erase and move on from. chara just wants monsters to be happy and to be ok and they hate that once again a human has taken that happiness away from monsters, but they know a reset won’t stop frisk because they will just start over, so if they erase the world and take frisk’s soul for frisk to get it back they can hope that without that soul and determination frisk can’t reset anymore and thus no more genocide run, even though that ultimately isn’t the case. chara just wants to help monsters and they’re angry at her another human for hurting them

asriel says in the epilogue that chara wanted to hurt the humans in the village when they attacked asriel and them, but once again it’s not bc chara is evil or violent, it’s bc they were traumatized by humans and and this is like a fight response to those triggers, and also bc they wanted to protect asriel!!!

chara’s plan to collect 7 human souls as talked about in the tape was for the good of monsters, not so they could hurt humans. they wanted monsters to go free and to live a normal life with their monster family. when they say “our plan had failed, hadn’t it?” in the genocide run they’re referring to their goal of freeing and saving monsters, not like, killing the people that asriel wouldn’t fight. chara wanted to save monsters and to break the barrier, they didn’t want their soul to fuse with asriel because they knew that meant their soul couldn’t be one of the 7 to free monsters. when frisk killed the monsters in the genocide route it meant that monsters weren’t free or safe, their plan with asriel to free monsters from the underground and save them from the prison humans put them in had failed because once again a human had taken everything from them

on a lighter note, pacifist run chara narrates and translates for frisk! chara and frisk likely come from the same village seeing as they’re both able to just go up the mountain and see what’s there, so they probably know the same form of sign language. frisk is mute and signs things to chara, who translates over the phone for them. they also describe everything around frisk since they’ve lived there before and know what everything is while frisk doesn’t know. when they don’t know what to say, they describe stuff! they probably aren’t sure what to make of the mettaton fight since they’ve never seen mettaton ex before, so they say “smells like mettaton”. they don’t know about the amalgamates so they say “smells like sweet lemons” during your fight with lemon bread

the mummy wrappings in the red soul coffin were for chara. asriel removed them from their coffin and carried them off to the village before those supplies could’ve been used. when he brought chara back in after they were attacked, toriel took them out to the flower bed in the ruins where they initially landed to give them a propel burial, and then chose to live in the ruins specifically to take care of chara. chara is buried under the flowers right at the start of the ruins which is why asriel refuses to leave in the epilogue and says “someone has to take care of these flowers.” it’s also in part why toriel is so sad and lonely, being in the ruins and visiting her child daily makes her remember the pain she felt losing chara and asriel and it makes her extra worried about losing frisk and the other humans. through visiting chara like this, both asriel and toriel can see them and talk to them even though they’re mostly gone

asriel and chara were the ones who left those echo flower messages about wishes. chara was the one who laughed and said “it’s just funny, that’s my wish too”

just like kris, chara also had little red horns. chara didn’t like that they were human since they hated humans, but loved monsters and wished they were one. asriel made them little paper horns to be more monster-like, and eventually toriel sewed them an pair and put it on a headband so they could stay on their head

not really a headcanon or theory, just a note. there’s lots of similarities between kris and chara: red eyes, knives, portrayed as “strange”, likes to scare other people (kris hiding under noelle’s bed and putting ketchup on their arms to scare her, and chara doing their creepy face to asriel in the tape—they likely did it before cause asriel had to have known what it was so there’s nothing saying they only do it when asked by asriel), a bit secluded and like to be alone (toriel is no longer upset with kris when she finds out they didn’t answer her calls bc they were with a friend, chara is only ever shown or talked about in relation to asriel or their parents), both kind of get rid of their soul in some way (kris removes their soul and chara like died to give their soul to the monsters), both have similar outfits (although kris looks more like frisk in their face and hair), very close to their asriel, both like monsters, both have mostly obscured eyes until the ending of the game, etc.

chara can only verbally talk to frisk, but they can talk through the phone, similar to how asriel spoke to frisk on the phone at the end of the true lab even though he didn’t have his soul back then and was still a flower, and similar to how you can understand the memory head amalgamate when you use your phone. frisk is one of the few people who can hear their voice irl

chara can verbally talk with mettaton, mew mew, and nabstablook since they were all once ghosts/are ghosts. mettaton sometimes helps chara to speak and to appear to crowds bc they can use his microphones to speak since that’s technology and chara can use his advice to show their own incorporeal form more clearly. chara and nabstablook get along very well as shy ghosts who are best friends with their family

chara and frisk become best friends in pacifist runs :3 frisk returns the the underground sometimes to talk to asriel and lets chara speak to him while they visit through their phone, and eventually chara convinces asriel to come back with them and to live with them again (yes i know this isn’t possible in canon shhhhhhh)

chara is autistic and has adhd. they also have chronic pain and use a cane as a result of their chronic pain and bc of a long lasting injury they sustained from falling into the underground, or they float as a ghost