#im walking home from my grandmas and god i feel just so heavy

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

eugghh im already so tired but i dont want to eat just yet,,

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Dear wendy, im sorry for being a whore but 👁👄👁 … I kinda want a smut where reader is a milf a mom of geto’s friend… a lot sexual tension would be great 😳

YES AND — my mind instantly said “hey this is how that will play out” and LOW KEY I’ve been waiting for this moment because I, too, am I whore.

Milk and Cookies: Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

WC: 1.9k

Tw: NSFW (Lactation kink, unprotected sex)

The chimes and tinkles of the doorbell make you look up from the dirty dishes in the sink, and you pad over to the wooden door, peeking through the peephole.

Your son's friend, Geto Suguru, stands in the entryway, holding a bag as he pushes his hair back over his shoulder, and you instantly open the door for him. God, if he was as old as you, you'd have him snatched up and pinned to a bed. "Hello, Suguru! Just so you know, Kai won't be back for another hour or so. He and his grandfather were caught in traffic on the way back from fishing," you tell the man, and he smiles at you brightly. Your legs want to go weak, but you keep your composure and smile back at the twenty-two-year-old.

"No worries, Mrs. L/n. I'll just wait here until they get back. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," you reassure him and walk past the door to let him in. "The baby is with his grandma, so make yourself comfortable in the living room. Let me know if you want anything to eat." Geto nods at you, then opens the bag he brought.

"I brought some cookies that my mother made for you. She said after having a baby, these really help with your... uh... hormones, I think." You examine the offering when he passes it to you, and take one out of the little box. The oats and dark chocolate pieces melt in your mouth, and you hum in delight.

"These are delicious, Suguru. Tell your mother I said thank you. Did you help her make these?" The grown man shuffles about for a second, then admits his involvement. "You're incredibly sweet," you mention, and a blush creeps up his neck. "You both did a very good job." He looks up at you, dumbfounded, then smirks.

"Wasn't too hard to follow directions. Plus, I love baking. Would love to help you bake sometimes if you'll let me."

"Just let me know when and what you want to bake," you reassure him and he nods, taking a seat on the couch.

When you finish the cookie, you turn back to the dishes and begin to wash them as the TV flicks on in the living room. You're lost in thought about the kindness of Suguru and his mother when you feel the sharp stabbing sensation of a knife poke you in your hand.

"Ah!" When you bring your hand out of the water, you see that the knife sliced the palm of your hand a little, red blood forming along the cut.

"Mrs. L/n, I'll help." Suguru appears out of nowhere and reaches above the microwave to grab the first aid kit from a cabinet. While he does that, you run the palm under water, hissing as it stings but then drying it on a paper towel. Suguru takes a bandaid and places it over your cut hand, then wraps gauze over it. "You should be more careful," he chastises, and you hum in response. "Would hate to see a pretty hand like yours get infected. I'll finish the dishes for you; just sit on the couch and relax." You begin to protest, but Suguru silences you with a five to your lips, pulls you toward the living room, and sits you on a recliner before he leaves to go finish the dishes.

The TV is tuned to HGTV, and you watch Chip and Joanna renovate homes while the man finishes, glancing over at him every so often to see if he's having any trouble. But he looks as studious as ever, hair dangling over his shoulder as he finishes his task. Well, your task, actually.

When Suguru's done, he joins you in the living room, sitting in the closest seat to your recliner. "Tell me about your weekend," he begins, his black eyes staring at your face. You eye your velour tracksuit with disdain, noting that you hadn't even had a chance to get out since the baby was born a month ago and the father had been absent for much longer than that.

"Oh, just cleaning and making the house neat. You?"

"That's all you've done? What about getting a babysitter to watch Kaneda while you go out and have some fun?"

"Um..." How could you explain to the man that you don't have any friends to go out with? "Well, that would be nice."

"I'll ask my friend Shoko if she'll come by. She loves kids." He pulls out his phone and begins to type out a message, then focuses back on you when he's done. "Any news from Mr. L/n?"

"No," you answer quickly. "He's sent his monthly allowance for me and Kai, but that's it."

"Has he seen Kaneda at all?"

"No." Geto lapses into silence, eyes looking down at the carpet.

"I normally don't speak on matters that don't concern me, but fuck him," he mutters, and you look up in shock. "If I had a wife like you, I'd take you out, show you off, make you happy, and keep you satisfied. I'd never--" Suguru clenches his jaw when you touch his hand, a small smile on your face.

"You're too kind. Things between Mr. L/n and I have been rough, but I'm sure he'll come around soon."

Suguru shakes his head, then shifts out of your grip. "I would treat you better," he murmurs, then looks over at you. You swear the flutter in your chest isn't from any feelings and just because of his pity. But when he gets up and cradles your face like a lover would, you break. Tears fall from your eyes rapidly, and he brushes them away with the pads of his thumbs, cooing at you like you're a child.

"You deserve better. Say it."

"I..." But do you? You heard rumors about Kai's mom and how she was abandoned in the same way. Was this your fate, too?

"Say it. Maybe then you'll believe it."

"I deserve... better."

"Good girl." The fluttering feeling returns and your lips part as you inhale sharply. "Now, will you let me give you something better?" You nod immediately, feeling something pool between your legs. When you realize it's heat, you're shocked, but Suguru leans in to kiss you, smoothing the shock away.

"Suguru," you murmur. "We shouldn't--"

"How long has it been since your husband touched you?" You fumble for the time, knowing it hadn't been for over eight months.

"Um... that's--"

"A long time, hmm?" Suguru's eyes roam over your figure. "Then let me satisfy you, just once. If you don't like it, we can stop and I'll never touch you again, I promise."

"Suguru, I--"

"What harm will it do? If you like it, I'll make sure I come by often enough to have you seeing stars once a week. We'll never speak of it again if you don't want to do it anymore."

The deal is a good one, you think. "Well, maybe just this once."

"That's all I need." He unzips your jacket and frees your swollen breasts, rubbing them tenderly and kissing each one with a peck. "First things first, you need some relief from all of this build-up." When he latches his mouth onto your right nipple, you moan loud enough to overshadow the sound of the TV, and you feel milk flowing from your breasts rapidly. Suguru hums, drinking from you greedily, a small river of milk flowing from the corner of his mouth. You feel a tingling sensation, then exhale deeply, closing your eyes as he massages the other breast slowly.

"Oh, that feels good," you whisper and he unlatches from your right breast to your left one, fitting himself onto the nipple perfectly. You hiss in pain for a few seconds until his tongue swirls over the nipple easily. A sudden realization that this is wrong washes over you, but Suguru is tightly latched onto the bud, suckling eagerly. "Suguru..." you whisper, and he opens his eyes, but doesn't stop. "Suguru, this is wrong. You're my stepson's best friend and I--"

"This isn't about him. This is about you," he mutters, swallowing the last bit of milk before he removes his shirt. "Besides, you taste so delicious. I'm sure the rest of you tastes even better." As he removes your track pants, you bite your lip, wanting this so desperately. He spreads your legs and dips a finger into you, stroking your insides gently. "Oh, you're ready."

"Please fuck me," you whisper. "Just do it." Suguru removes his pants and palms himself, his cock rock-hard and standing at attention. The red tip is already dripping with pre-cum, ready for you to take in. He pants a little, lifting you off the recliner and moving you to the couch, where he lays you on the comfortable fabric before parting your legs again.

He runs the tip up and down your slit before sliding into you, his tip caressing long-neglected parts of you. "Su," you whine, and he kisses your cheek.

"Tell me if it hurts, baby." You clutch onto him as he pushes into you again, digging your nails into his back and moaning. "You're so damn tight."

"Feels so good..." You feel the sensation of being stretched to the brim, and wonder where in the hell Sugurus been all of your life. When he picks up his speed, he clutches onto your asscheeks and shifts you up so your knees are touching your chest. As he holds them against your breasts, they begin to leak and stain the fabric beneath them. You gasp and pant wantonly, hoping the sounds out spur him to go faster, go deeper; maybe if you allowed him to--

"Turn over for me." You obey, and he slides two fingers between your pussy lips, bending down to whisper in your ear. "Gonna make you cum in a minute. God, I've waited for this pussy for so long," he moans. "Such a good girl; waiting for months to get fucked. So patient." You whimper, and he removed his fingers, replacing them with his cock head. He slides into you again, and you exclaim, bucking your hips up to meet his. "Such a beautiful pussy, too," he grunts, smacking your ass with a heavy hand.

Then Suguru begins pounding into you wildly, rocking you back and forth on the couch without restraint. You hiss before you feel the familiar build-up of an orgasm, and call Geto's name out before you begin to shake, losing all sense of time and place.

"That's it, baby. Cum for me," Suguru breathes. "You're doing amazing."

"Oh my god," you gasp, cunt clenching around his dick. "I can't--" Another orgasm builds on top of the one you already experienced, and you grip onto the fabric tightly, shaking as you cum again. "S-Suguru, I--"

"Fuck," he whispers in your ear. "Gonna cum too. Where do you want it?"

"Wherever," you pant, and he instantly lets himself go inside of you, groaning loudly.

"God, Mrs. L/n, that was amazing," he whispers, chest heaving up and down. "What'd you think?" When he realizes that he has to remove your hands from the fabric, he chuckles. "You liked it." You nod, feeling his cum leaking out of you. "Let me clean you up, sweetheart." You expect him to go to the bathroom and search for a washcloth, but he pulls your hips up and back, so your knees are on the carpet.

It's only then that he begins to lick you clean, slurping up his cum and your juices. When he's done licking you clean, he pats your ass and you turn over, eyeing the man cautiously.

"I'll come over next week if you want me to. I'll make sure you're satisfied for the rest of your life."

[taesbetch]

Den Of Hybrids | 05

Pairing: BTS  x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Summary: Taking care of six hybrids can be a pain in the ass but when a stray needs y/ns help, y/n brings him home to his new family. Follow Y/n as she tries to help Taehyung (The new hybrid in town) fit in and continue to keep the other six alive along with other troubles that life brings.

Word Count: 2k

Previous 

You stood at the back of your parked car, hands folded over your chest as you tried to contain your boiling anger. The park you were at was one the family used to visit a lot when you were younger. Those memories seemed so pure and happy, did you miss something? was your child mind completely oblivious to the misery that was your bloodline?

The sun was setting and time continued to tick by as both you and Hyuna awaited the arrival of the devil herself.

Finally, A black vehicle drove towards your area. As the car drove past you, you could almost feel the eyes of relieved hybrids. Your heart stopped as the car parked itself several parks away from yours. Turning towards it you prayed that the injuries weren't as bad as the pictures...but your prayers were ignored.

As the seven boys walked out the car one by one guarded by her henchmen, Your eyes watered. Namjoon limped as he held his right arm tightly, wincing with every breath. Jin clutched his shoulder, his left cheek bruised badly and his right eye still dark and battered. Jungkook walked with his ears hung low, his small cut healing. Jimin followed with what looked like a fresh slap wound and a small limp, pulling the weight off his foot. Taehyung followed closely behind jimin, looking the least emotionally traumatised and the least beaten with only a bruise on his forearm. Yoongi was next shoved out, carrying a heavy scowl on his face and multiple bruises on his arms and legs. Then, Hoseok walked, looking at you with big hopeful eyes he swallowed pain as he walked.

you wiped away a tear as you walked up to them, stopping about two car parks away as May raised her hand.

“Are you guys okay?!” You asked desperately as your voice cracked.

Each of them opened their mouths to answer but May spoke first.

“Wheres the money?” She spat.

You narrowed your eyes at her before pulling an envelope out of your pocket.

“I've got it. Now, give me back the boys” You spoke strongly, clearly over her shit. A small smirk found itself on her face. She nodded to her two henchmen. They stepped back letting the hybrids hesitantly shuffle towards you.

“It's okay, you're okay now” You urged. Jimin bit his lip as his eyes quickly spewed tears. Running over to you with a wail he was the first to embrace you. soon, all the boys had run over, participating in a massive group hug, you quickly wiped away jungkooks tears as hoseok squeezed your hand. It had felt like a whole eternity that they had been away. But now they were back. It was time to finish May off.

“Here,” You said as you broke free of your hybrids hold to pass her the envelope. The seven boys watched curiously as they noticed your demoneour change and hyuna quickly typed away on her phone.

Opening the envelope with an expectation of cheques, mays smirk quickly dropped.

“what's this?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

“It's your warning. I'm charging you for assault and blackmail...oh, actually. What else was there hyuna?” You asked cheekily as you looked back at your friend.

“Oh, I believe it was - Blackmart hybrid fighting, illegal work hours and payments, Tax evasion and hmm what else of yeah! scamming money from the rich! sounds oddly familiar” Hyuna explained.

You looked back to May and sighed heavily.

“You have NO proof of this” she scoffed as she folded her arms defensively.

“Oh, but i do. Ya know, You could've just asked. I probably would've said yes. I wanted your love and approval THAT badly i would've handed over 7 million with no hesitation. I just wanted my family around. And because of that my real family ended up getting hurt.” You stated, your voice strong and passionate but full of hurt.

“y/n, I'm all you have. You cant do this to me” She said, whimpering slightly as she saw the fire in your eyes.

“But i can, And i will. Because you've crossed a line aunt May” You said nonchalantly as sirens chimed in the background, getting closer and closer.

“You're going to regret this y/n, Trust me when i say this” SHe sneered as her two henchmen start backing away, ready to make a run for it.

“I’ll never trust anything that comes out of your mouth ever again”

You turned to walk away but swivel back around as the police cars start turning into the parking lot.

“Oh and one more thing... I hope you rot in hell”

Spinning around towards your car you walked quickly, ignoring her yells and her pleas, with the boys following closely you watched happily as the cops nodded at you, reassuring you that everything would be handled on their end.  Right now, Aunt May was dead to you.

----

“Okay, but are you sure?” You asked nervously as you stood at hoseoks door watching him dry his hair with a towel, clean clothes on his body.

“Y/n, I swear I'm okay. I just need some sleep honestly” He replied, his usual sunshine smile displayed on his face. You pouted at him as he sat himself down on his bed.

“Okay...but ill be checking on you in the morning” You replied. He smiled at you as you slowly closed the door, your eyes glued on him just in case.

You sighed as the door clicked shut, but your moment was quickly interrupted as taehyung walked around the corner. As you opened your mouth to continue your obsessive checking he cupped your face with his hands.

“Yes I'm okay, No I'm not mad at you, No I'm not upset that this was my first week in this household” He answered before giving you a tight squeeze.

“And don't worry, I will comfort jimin until you come to check on him” he added before walking off, his hands tucked in his pockets. You stood shocked for a second at how well he was handling everything. He seemed a little different to when he first arrived at the house, though he still seemed like a doe-eyed child, something had shifted and you weren't sure what..

Thinking of doe-eyed children you noticed how quiet it was. Jungkook.

Rushing upstairs you noticed that yoongis door was locked shut and took a mental note to check on him straight after. As you entered jungkooks room you noticed how he had rearranged his furniture.

“Kookie? You okay?” You asked as you nervously watch him throw clothes on the ground.

“Oh hey, y/n! Yeah, I'm fine” He replies. Not giving you a single glance. You walked closer, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Kookie” You said softly as he stopped.

“I'm fine, really. Namjoon and jin were the ones who took the most of it. especially in place of us...I just...I just think its time for me i change a little bit. To grow ya know?” He said.

You smiled softly at him.

“Well okay then, positive growth is never bad, just...tell me if you're not okay, alright?” You said. He smiled at you and nodded softly, returning back to what he was doing.

You bit your lip before walking out, heading to yoongis room. Placing an ear on his door you heard the shower running.

Your eyebrows furrowed but you shrugged it off. This wasn't his usual showering time but then again, he did just got through something rather traumatic. You walked to Jimin's room but the sound of two people snoring froze you in your spot.

A smile graced your face and for the first time in a minute, you felt calm. It was nice to know that the two boys had found peace with each other. Walking all the way downstairs you made your way to namjoons room, for some reason you weren't as concerned with your older hybrid before, but jungkooks words made your heart drop with worry.

“Namjoon?” You called softly as you slowly opened the door. Sobs filled the room. At the sight of you, namjoon shifted his body to face a wall, hiding away from you.

“Namjoon” You whispered as you closed the door, your heartbreaking a little. You rushed to his side letting him cry in your arms.

“You asked me to take care of everyone and i couldn't, i failed” He sobbed. Your heart broke even further as you realised the stress and pressure you had accidentally placed on your hybrid.

“Oh namjoon no, you didn't fail. You did your best! and jungkook told me all about how you and jin took the brunt of it all. God im so sorry, This is not your fault at all! AT ALL! I'm so sorry i put that pressure on you” You stated, a few tears falling out of your eyes.

“You did everything right namjoon. Grandma would be so proud of how you handled it” You added as you stroked his hair.

“I felt so..useless” He whimpered. You kissed his forehead softly before shaking your head.

“No. Don't ever think that about yourself. I need you here, things wouldn't work smoothly without you, i don't know how id manage this estate without you or the other hybrids....This was my mistake okay? don't be so hard on yourself I'm the one that fucked up...” You stated.

Namjoon took a deep breath before looking at you. His eyes blood red.

“I promise ill be better,” He said as he took your hand in his.

“That's not possible namjoon, You’re already the best”

----

You dragged you feet towards your own room, hoping jin would be in there - ready for bed.

As you entered your room you stood at the doorway and stared at jins back. Your mind floated to when you first got jin. Back then it was only him and namjoon. You were still figuring out so many things and there jin was, always supporting and looking out for you.

As he turned around you were reminded of the pain he had enured as the bruises and black eye called for attention.

“there you are! You ready for bed?” He asked with his bright smile.

You pouted as you tried to contain your emotions but couldn't stop yourself. Bursting into tears you ran to jin and engulfed him in a hug.

“I'm so sorry! I'm really so sorry!” You sob.

He laughs as he wraps his arms around you.

“Its okay y/n. Look! I'm back now! were all back and were going to be okay! Sure that was a shitty experience but were going to be alright” He said as he rubbed your back.

“God damnit i should be the one, comforting you” You sighed as you pulled away from him and wiped your eyes, the tears refusing to stop.

“Have you done your rounds? Check on everyone first then you can come and listen to me sob” He smiled ruffling your hair. You laugh before doing a mental checklist...Yoongi.

“I'll be back”

--

Odd. The shower was still running. You knocked harshly just in case he couldn't hear, but there was no answer or call...nothing.

“I'm coming in yoongi I'm worried!” you said before using your master key to unlock his door. peaking your head in you noticed that only one little lamplight had been turned on and the window was fully opened. A fully opened window was never yoongis style.

you walked to his second level but still...

Empty.

You walked over to the bathroom noticing the door was open and yet, nothing. Just an empty shower. Turning off the water you looked around his room once more even checking to see if clothes were missing, or certain items...but nothing...

Your heart drops in your stomach as worry starts to consume you. As you hold yourself to protect your skin from the sudden breeze passing through the room you let the silence further feed your growing fear.

“Yoongi?”

[dis-easedfairy]

Oink The Stuffed Pig

WARNINGS: Swearing | Mentions of Sex (a dirty joke or two) |

Pairings: Kim Seokjin x Single Dad!Male Reader

Genre: Parent!au, neighbor!au, some angst (just a lil), fluff, humor 

Word Count: 11,838

Summary: Due to complications, M/n moves to a new city with his son. Though struggling, the two grow to like their new lives and new neighborhood, especially Kim Seokjin, their neighbor across the hall who is more than kind. 

A/n: IM ALIVEEEE! I suck at endings so like... my bad. I tried to get this out because I know a few of you were excited for this. Turned out a little more angst than I plan but uh... surprise? Again sorry it took me so long to finish it! 💙☀

I sighed and looked out the window as the train I was in, drove down the tracks. I looked at my watch it was around 7 pm and I knew it was going to be a long night. I looked over to my son, he was happily playing a game on an old phone of mine. I let out a sigh as my eyes trailed down to look at our backpacks on the floor.

I’m sorry we have to go this far.

I leaned forward, opening the side pouch of my backpack to take out my phone. I had muted it days ago and didn’t bother to look at it.

I unlocked it and looked through my messages.

Mom: Okay, just be safe, okay? The both of you.

Dad: remember to secure the new home. it will give everyone a piece of mind

.

Unknown Number: you cant just take him! I said I wanted to work this out!

I rolled my eyes at the last one, deciding just to message my parents since we were more within the city.

M/n to Mom: I found a nice little neighborhood, close to his school and there are some good jobs I can get for the time being, just until I save up a bit. We’ll be safe. Don’t worry too much.

M/n to Dad: I had a security system kit sent with some of our stuff. I’m going to go to the store tomorrow to look for tougher screws for the doors. We have a balcony so I have to figure something out! Safety is my second priority!

“Who are you talking to?” I heard my son’s small voice ask.

I looked over to him, his eyes were big, full of curiosity as he lifted himself up in order to look at the screen. I only smiled.

“Your grandparents.” He gave me a small pout.

“Why the pout?” I asked with a sad chuckle, “…Expecting someone else?” I asked dejectedly.

I swore I saw his eyes twinkle, “Aunt Hyejin!” My heart dropped to my stomach.

I tore my eyes away from his, prepping myself to lie, “Ha… Aunt Hyejin… she…” Oh god, what would be a good lie to tell him?

I glanced back at his perfect brown orbs, stabbing into me for an answer.

“A… Aunt Hyejin is not herself right now. So… I can’t talk to her right now, okay?” I wasn’t lying, but it sure in the hell felt like I was.

I could see the sadness enter his eyes, as well as those same eyes water. My eyes widened as I quickly held my hands up as if he were now holding a weapon to me.

“But why?” He asked, his voice sounding very upset.

“Junseok-ah, it’s complicated. BUT you’re going to make new friends and have your own room!” I tried to sway my son.

“I don’t want new friends I want Aunt Hyejin!” He was now crying, I grimaced.

I looked around the empty train car almost frantically, as to search for something to get my son to stop crying. I let out a heavy sigh.

“Listen, Junseok-ah, stop crying. Some people aren’t going to be in your life for the rest of your life. Some people have their own lives to live, some care dearly about you, and some will care only for themselves. It has nothing to do with your personality or who you are as a person. Aunt Hyejin… I have a feeling she only cares for herself right now. And right now, I have to care about you, and you have to care about yourself right now too.” That probably made no sense to him.

Oddly enough my son only nodded his head, using his sleeve to wipe his tears, I offered him a small smile.

“Don’t worry, I got us a place to stay and you have your own room!” Which I have no Idea how I’m going to pay for it.

“We live near a school you’ll be going too!” Some of your new teachers think I’m irresponsible for moving so late in the year and hate me already.

“I’m getting a new job, so new cool things!” You might not get anything good for your birthday if it's a low-paying job.

“Our new home is in a nice neighborhood with lots of kids so you’ll make friends.” You’re more extroverted than me and the families will more than likely hate me.

“It’s a little far from grandpa and grandma, but this is a better life!” I’m scared.

“…Okay. Can we get something to eat before we go to our new house?” He asked softly.

I nodded, not wiping the smile off my face, “We’ll get whatever you want. Just don’t be sad or scared. Just know that I love you with all my heart. Forever.”

Junseok sniffled a bit and moved closer to wrap his arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him onto my lap to keep him closer. I could feel him relax in my hold as I moved my hand to rub his back.

“We have reached Hoehyeon Station.”

“So how have you settled in?” My friend Jeongguk asked, he was the one who convinced me to move to Seoul.

I could hear my son let out a scream as he ran around with a plushie pig toy and a Spider-Man toy, a throw blanket tied around his neck as a makeshift cape. I soon then heard a bump and something clatter to the floor. I was unpacking a box on the kitchen counter, taking out glasses and plates.

I let out a heavy sigh, “As settled as we can be I gue-,”

“NO! NO! NO! NO!” I could hear my son shout, making me snap into action as I threw everything I was holding down and ran to his voice.

He was in my bedroom, the window open and him half hanging out.

“Junseok! What are you doing!?” I demanded, running over to yank him away from the open window.

“I dropped Oink! I have to get him!” My son protested as I threw him over my shoulder to stop him from squirming out my grip.

“You won’t get anything besides a trip to the hospital hanging out the window like that!” I scolded, sitting him on my bed.

I pulled back to see his tear-filled eyes. I let out a deep sigh, “If I tell a friend of mine to look after you, will you behave while I look for Oink?” I can’t believe I was going to search in an ally for a stuffed pig.

Junseok quickly nodded his head, almost desperate to get his oldest friend back.

“Fineeee.” I groaned, walking back to the kitchen to get my phone.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I grumbled, moving a trash bag out the way as I tried to look for a bright pink stuffed pig.

I let out a growl of frustration, “Where are you, you little bitch?” I grumbled, trying to think of new places to look.

I looked at my watch and sighed, I was in a hoodie and jeans but it was only getting colder as the sun was no longer in the sky. It was close to 11 pm and I didn’t want to spend all night looking for a stuffed animal. My son cherished that stuffed pig since it was his first stuffed animal but was it really worth it?

Yes, it was. My son loved it so I will find it.

I groaned at myself, kicking a trash bag and going back to looking for the lost pig.

I was ready to give up thirty minutes later until I saw pink fuzz that looked familiar. I quickly moved whatever was in the way and yanked the pig up into my view.

“Fuck yesss!” I chuckled in satisfaction as I began to dust off and examine the pig.  

I frowned when I noticed how flat and lumpy it was, it was less to it being dropped out a window, and more about the years of washing, drying and laying on it.  

“Mmm, you need a good stuffing, huh?” I asked the pig, examining it more for rips or stains.

“…Uhhh…” I heard a voice draw out behind me.

I immediately spun around to face the person. A man, he was a little taller than me, wearing a white sweater, dark sweatpants, and white shoes. He had broad shoulders and had the most handsome face I’ve ever been blessed with ever seeing. His eyes were wide as he held onto a trash bag, his eyes dropped to see the flattened stuffed pig and he let out a breath of relief with a chuckle.

“I…” He let out a very unique laugh that tumbled from his rose-colored plush lips, bending over, “I thought… Oh my god…” He tried to speak but only laughter came out.

He looked fairly young but I had no idea how I was supposed to address him, “S-Sir? Is something funny?” I asked, praying he wasn’t some guy who lost his mind and planned to murder me in an ally after I spent an hour and a half looking for a stupid stuffed pig.

He held up one finger as he continued to laugh. I assumed it was to give him a minute so I did.

“You have to understand,” He began, trying to catch his breath, “I just heard your words and saw your back and nothing more!” I saw red begin to bloom in his cheeks.

I tilted my head slightly in confusion. He took my confusion as the go-ahead to explain which he only did in few words, with a smirk.

“Fuck yes? You need a good stuffing?”

It slowly clicked together as heat began to rush to my face and embarrassment washed through me.

“I-I was just talking about a stuffed animal!” I raced to explain, which only made him cackle more.

“Wait! No! I’m not fucking the stuffed animal! That sounded wrong!” The man was now leaning against the building, trying not to fall to the ground from laughing so hard.

“M-My son dropped this out the window, he can’t sleep without it.” I explained nervously.

The man straightened up, trying to gain his composure, “You’re a dad?” He asked breathlessly.

I know I’m ‘too young’.

“Yeah. He’s four… This is an awkward way to meet… We just moved in today.” I gave the man a small smile.

He looked surprised, “Really? Nice to meet you! I’m Kim Seokjin!” He introduced himself happily, moving to shake my hand.

“L/n M/n.” I informed, shaking his hand.

“Welcome to the neighborhood, hopefully, there are no more… misunderstandings.” He joked.

I felt a wave of heat travel to my face again, “I hope not.” I agreed with a nervous giggle.

Seokjin opened his mouth as if he was going to say more but as interrupted by my screeching friend.

“M/N! WHAT IS OUR SON’S FIXATION WITH THE TOILET!? HE TRIED TO FLUSH MY PHONE!” Jeongguk shouted out the window.

Well, that was a nice moment…

I let out a deep sigh, “Sorry, I have to head back up. I’ll talk to you soon, Seokjin?” I questioned.

He nodded, seeming at a lost for words. I frowned a bit. He was so open a few moments ago. I walked past him, giving him a small wave as I began to jog back into the building.

I ran to one of the two elevators and pushed my floor number. Using the time to think of what jobs I could apply to and how to make sure ‘Aunt Hyejin’ didn’t come to visit my son while he was in school.

The ding of the elevator broke me from my thoughts and I went to my apartment door. Before I could dig in my back pocket for my keys, my door flung open to reveal my friend Jeongguk.

“He keeps flushing things in the toilet. You lost a roll of toilet paper. ” My friend informed me, crossing his arms, looking upon me in judgment.

“He’s acting out because he wasn’t very excited about coming here…” I notified, rubbing the back of my neck with the hand that wasn’t gripping the stuffed animal.

Jeongguk sighed. I could hear another ‘ding’ but took it as the elevator I got off of closing it’s doors and going back down.

“I know he’ll like it here, you will too. Did…” Jeongguk looked down, biting his bottom lip as he chose his next words carefully.

“Did Hyejin know where you were going? I don’t think it’s a good idea if she knew where we live.” Jeongguk voiced apprehensively.

“Don’t worry about her. I just told her I was leaving town. She tried to tell Junseok that he could stay at her place if he didn’t want to go.” I stated bitterly.

“Are you fucking with me? She literally doesn’t quit does she!?” Jeongguk scoffed, anger beginning to radiate off of him.

I shook my head, “I was just wondering how we would get him to school without her finding him.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened, “Do you think she’d go school hunting!?”

“I wouldn’t put it past her.” I grunted bitterly.

Jeongguk let out a frustrated sigh, leaning on the doorframe and pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. After a few moments, Jeongguk looked up, sadness and sympathy in his eyes. He reached out, grabbing the collar of my hoodie and pulled me into a hug. He wrapped one arm around my waist and his other hand was in the middle of my back. He let out a long exhale as he began to rub my back. I wrapped my arms around him, fully accepting the comfort in my friend’s embrace, even going as far as to bury my face in his shoulder.

“We’ll figure this out together, M/n. I’ll introduce you to some friends of mine, we’ll settle you in, get you a job and support you for as long as you need, okay?” Jeongguk promised.

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, knowing I wouldn’t do this alone. I was prepared to do it alone, but I knew Jeongguk wouldn’t let me. He was my best friend. I really counted on him and he counted on me.

The comforting resolve was disrupted by the sound of a flushing toilet.

Jeongguk let out an irritated growl. Jeongguk yanked away to turn to look into the apartment.

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE TOILET!?” Jeon demanded, grabbing my arm and dragging me into the apartment with him.

I made a wild grab to close the door behind us, trying to fight Jeongguk’s tight grip. I pushed the door closed and Jeongguk let me go, deeming me as the reason he couldn’t move fast enough to scold my son. I only chuckled, moving to the kitchen to throw the stuffed animal in the washing machine.

“YAH! NO SON OF MINE WILL FLUSH IRON MAN DOWN THE TOILET!” I rolled my eyes at Jeongguk’s words.

I could hear my son whine a response as I set the washer to quick wash. I heard footsteps and turned to see Jeongguk holding an armful of toys.

“Uncle Gukkie!” My son whined, trailing after him.

“No! You can’t have these back until you learn how to treat them right.” Jeongguk huffed, dropping the toys in an empty box and swiftly picking it up so Junseok couldn’t snag a toy back.

“Why all his toys?” I chortled.

They both looked over at me, my son with pleading eyes and my friend with the eyes of determination.

“Because our son needs to know what ‘stop’ and ‘don’t do that’ means.” He asserted.

“Stop calling him ‘our son’, people will get the wrong idea.” I giggled, moving to get the detergent.

“No! I’m helping you raise this brat, so he’s my son too!” I shrugged my shoulders. Fair enough.

“Any ideas for dinner?” I asked, starting the washer.

“Daddd!” Junseok whined in complaint of me not defending his toys.

I just knew Jeongguk made up his mind and I mostly agreed with him.

“We’ll order take out for now. Tomorrow we’ll have a better plan, we might be a little too busy for a sit-down meal though.” Jeongguk smiled, happy I wasn’t fighting him.

I nodded in understanding, “We’ll have to get some kind of ‘we are new to the neighborhood, don’t mind the screaming’ gift.”

“I think we’ll be fi-” Junseok cut Jeongguk off by jumping up and grabbing the edge of the box.

Junseok yanked down, causing the box to rip and toys spill out.

“JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? I said you don’t get these back until you learn how to treat them!!” Jeongguk began and ‘our son’ began to argue back.

“I’m thinking baked goods.” I sighed.

“Jeongguk, you…” I growled, holding one end of the entertainment center as Jeongguk held the other.

“You what!? Finish your sentence!” Jeongguk challenged, stopping in the middle of the entrance.

“You soggy piece of toast! Stop pushing me! You’re making me lose balance!” I snapped.

“You’re so fucking slow!” He clapped back.

“You’re so fucking impatient!” Thus the best friend bicker began.

Soon it wasn’t even about the stupid entertainment center, it wasn’t anything too harmful, just us venting out the stress of the day, per usual. We even set down the entertainment center to argue better.

“NO ONE EVEN LIKES THAT RAMEN SO WHY WAS THAT ONE ON SALE?”

“MAYBE BECAUSE NO ONE GOT IT SO IT WAS GOING TO EXPIRE!”

“THAT MUST HAVE BEEN IT!” After a few minutes of this, we finally drew some breath.

“Okay, now we can get back to work.” Jeongguk exhaled.

I have a quick glance around, “Uh… where is Junseok?” I asked blankly.

Jeongguk quickly spun around to face the living room, “He WAS on the couch!??”

Jeongguk and I slowly met eyes as the realization dawned on us. My best friend and I jumped into action.

“CALL THE POLICE!” Jeongguk shouted as he ran at the door.

As soon as the door opened I could see the door across the hall slightly ajar. This led me to think that my son got curious as to what the door was because he’s never lived in an apartment before.

I tried to grab onto my best friend’s shirt to stop him but he was already out the door and down the hall to the stairs before I could say anything. I heard him shove the door open to the stairway and take off. I sighed, wishing he would’ve saved me the effort of having to call him.

I hesitantly closed my apartment door and made my way to the door across the hall. I lightly pushed open the door, caution pulsing through my veins. I could hear bad playing of a guitar flood the nice-lit, comfy apartment.

“Don’t go too hard on the strings or they will break.” I heard a familiar male voice softly instruct.

The air smelled like muffins and I could hear the sound of a tv. I entered the apartment as quiet as I could, taking off my shoes and taking a deep breath. I raised my hand up and tapped my knuckles on the wall beside me.

“Come in!” A cheerful voice chimed, making the place seem even more inviting.

I stepped forward out the entryway to round the corner. My son was sitting on the floor, holding a guitar WAY too big for his body. His tongue was sticking out, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to focus on the cords he was strumming.

The man I met in the ally, Seokjin, was sitting on the chair with the stuffed pig on his lap. The pig was plushier than before. I assumed Seokjin restuffed the animal since he had a sewing needle in hand, mid-tug of the thread. Seokjin’s eyes seemed to widen at my arrival.

“I’m sorry if he interrupted your afternoon. He was on the couch one moment then he was gone the next.” I apologized, bowing my head in remorse.

“That’s okay! He hasn’t caused me any trouble.” Seokjin assured me.

I lifted my head up, “Really!? He’s been bratty since we arrived.” I was dismayed. My son listened to a complete stranger more than me!?

Seokjin’s plush lips pulled into a smile, “Yes. Your son has been well behaved!” Seokjin grabbed the scissors and snipped off the extra thread from the pig. Seokjin stood up, a new aura around him that was ignored by my son as Seokjin seemed to strut up to me.

“If you feel that bad about interrupting my afternoon, you can treat me to a better one this week?” Seokjin implied, his eyes whirling with confidence.

I almost choked on air. Did my attractive neighbor just ask me out?

“I… Well…” I was at a loss for words.

Seokjin’s small smile turned into a bigger one, almost cocky, “How about tomorrow? Here. At six.” He tempted, one of his hands moving up to fix my shirt. I’m pretty sure he could feel my heart going faster than it’s ever gone before.

Seokjin’s eyes playfully cast up, awaiting my response.

“So what did you tell him?” Jeongguk asked, getting himself a glass of lemonade and leaning against the kitchen island I was currently sitting at. Head in my hands as my body burned with humiliation. Junseok was on the couch, too emersed in his game to understand how badly I ruined myself.

“I shouted ‘I’m gay’ and ran out.” I grumbled.

Lemonade shot out from Jeongguk’s nose, spraying out onto the countertop. My eyes widened and I jumped up to get him some paper towels, grabbing a few myself to catch the liquid that threatened to ruin the floor. Jeongguk grabbed the paper towels and held them up to his face as he began to cough and sputter. I swore I heard slight chuckling in the distress.

“I-I don’t… I don’t think that line works in THIS scenario…” Jeongguk coughed as he moved his cup to the sink, having no desire to have lemonade again any time soon.

“I panicked!” I tried to defend myself.

“Do you want to go on a date with him?” He inquired.

I threw my hands up, “I don’t know! I hardly even know the guy!”

My best friend rolled his eyes, “Well, you won’t know him anytime soon with you shouting ‘I’m gay’ while running out his apartment like he was asking you if you knew his lord and savior Jesus Christ.” Jeongguk smirked.

“I didn’t say ‘I’m gay’ while running out! I said it then ran out. Get your shit straight, Jeon.” I dropped back down to my seat with a pout. I leaned forward, dropping my head so my face was against the cold countertop, groaning in defeat and embarrassment.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Jeon tried to refrain from smiling, but was failing horribly, “I shouldn’t tease you about this. Maybe go over, see if the offer stands and if he was serious. He came on a little strong. You never know, he might be as freaked out as you.”

My head lifted up and my eyes filled with hope. “Will it be that easy? You think so?” I asked in ease.

“No. He definitely thinks you’re weird and probably has another date set up in your spot. When you get there tomorrow, you’ll be interrupting his date.”

There were a few moments of silence as my expression fell and his lifted.

“I hope that lemonade burned your nose.” I muttered, laying my head back on the island.

"But Uncle Jeonnnn." My son whined from the kitchen island the next day, after a busy morning.

"No. I said we'd get ice cream AFTER you put away all your toys." Jeongguk asserted, lightly kicking the large box of toys that had been taped up from being ripped.

I only shook my head as I loaded the fridge with groceries.

"But I already cleaned my room, helped dad in the kitchen and helped you!" My son bargained.

"He has been helping a lot today, Jeon," I informed with a small smile.

Jeongguk's head snapped to face me, betrayal written in his eyes, "Who's side are you on!?"

I let out a sigh. I had two toddlers now.

"I'm not picking a side. Junseok, he said after you put your toys away. But Jeongguk, you can't discredit the work he's put in today without being a brat or complaining once. " I resolved.

My best friend pouted, deep in thought. He then turned to my son.

"How about we get junk food and play video games for an hour as your reward?" Jeon suggested, making my son's eyes light up.

"Good, because I don't want to go back on my word. You only get ice cream when you put away your toys. Go get ready." Jeon chuckled.

My son jumped up and rushed to his room quickly as if Jeon would change his mind in under thirty seconds. Jeongguk stood next to me to open the fridge for a bottle of soda.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? I know you said you wanted to help, but I don't want you to be doing all this because you feel obligated to." I frowned.

Jeongguk raised his eyebrow and swallowed, "M/n? I'm only taking him to the convenience store and back?"

"That's not it, " I rolled my eyes, "You've helped me mostly unpack, arrange the apartment and even took a week off from work to get us settled in. You've given a lot in the past few days."

It was then my best friend's turn to roll his eyes, "Seriously? Friends help friends move. And BEST friends arrange your fucking apartment for you because you don't have your shit together. If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't show up. You and your son deserve some happiness right now, so if I have to call another customer service line to help me set up a shelf, I fucking will."

I smiled at how much determination filled his eyes. "You didn't have the right tool, like a dumbass," I recalled, trying not to cackle.

"The manual said I didn't need a hammer!" He snapped.

"Your voice got a little offended there. Did I hit a nerve?" I teased.

"Know what? Fuck you, " Jeongguk stated dramatically as he put down his soda and began to stride out the kitchen, "I'm leaving you! I'm going to stay with my parents and I'm taking our son with me!" He ranted as he walked into the hall.

I chuckled, shaking my head as I moved back to stock up the kitchen. After I loaded the pantry I looked around for the box with the plates. I walked more into the living room to examine the stacked boxes by the door but didn't find any more boxes for the kitchen. I frowned.

"Hey, Jeongguk?" I called rotating boxes, hoping I read them wrong.

"Yes?" He called back from my room.

"Do you know where the last box for the kitchen is?"

"Check the hall! There are a few boxes out there that just got delivered!" In the hall!?

I shook my head in judgment and walked to the front door and out into the hall. Sure enough, to the left of my door were two stacks of boxes, four boxes high. I jogged back into the apartment to get my box cutter off the kitchen counter and ran back out to get to work on opening the last kitchen box that conveniently sat on the top of the first stack.

After I cut the tape open, I retract the blade in the box cutter and shoved it in my front hoodie pocket for easy access. I opened the box and took out a plate to examine it for any damages.

I could hear Jeongguk and my son talking as they entered the living room, then the entryway to pull on their shoes.

"Off to get junk?" I asked, checking other plates.

"Yes! He even dressed himself." My eyes widened at my best friend's words, making me spin around to face my mismatched son.

He had on red pants, a white T-shirt, green converse, a pink hat, and a yellow zip-up hoodie.

"...Junseok...Why?" I wasn't disappointed or judging, just confused.

Junseok shrugged, "It's comfortable."

"I mean, at least that's what matters." I gave him a warm smile.

Jeongguk reached in his back pocket, "He's adorable, I should take a picture." Jeon froze.

"Fuck! I forgot my phone. Wait here, Seok." Jeon gave my son two quick pats on the head and dashed inside.

My son and I gave each other and look then shifted our gazes to the apartment to give my best friend a judgemental look he couldn't see. Once Jeongguk came back, he took my son's hand and gave us both a big bunny smile.

"We're off!" He announced, puffing out his chest.

"To see the wizard?" I teased.

"Off what?" My son questioned.

Jeongguk deflated, "Let's just go." He grumbled as I held back a chuckle.

"Bye, Dad!" Junseok happily waved and began to drag my best friend down the hall.

"I'll grab you the usual!" Jeon quickly told me as my son dragged him to the elevators.

I giggled, shaking my head. I turned back to the boxes and lifted up the kitchen one. I took the box into the kitchen, setting it down on the island and made my way back out to the hall. I grabbed the top box on the second stack, turning it to get a better look at what I had written on the side of it.

As I was checking I could hear footsteps behind me. I smirked, figuring it was my friend forgetting something, "Forgot your wallet now, Jeon?" I teased, turning around.

I was met with someone who wasn't Jeongguk.

Seokjin was looking down at the floor. It looked like he had been biting at his lips and his hands were shoved in his pocket.

"Hello, M/n..." His voice was awkward and I didn't expect it from the man who was so confident and straightforward yesterday.

"Seokjin! Hi! How is your day so far?" I asked just as awkwardly.

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence. Seokjin let out a groan of frustration as he pulled his hands out his pockets and lifted his gaze.

"I wanted to apologize!" He stated, his chest seeming to puff up.

I pressed my lips together in an effort to not smile, "Apologize for what?"

"I came on too strong yesterday." -Seokjin looked down at the floor again- "You had barely met me and I thought if I made an impression, you'd be as interested as me. I talked to my friend about it and he called me a dumbass. I understand why though. You and your boyfriend seem to be happy together and have a son an-" I raised one finger up as I let out a small giggle of disbelief.

I knew it was rude to interrupt but I just had to.

"Y-You... You think Jeongguk and I are boyfriends?" I held back laughter.

His eyes widened slightly, seeming even more embarrassed, "Are you not??"

"Jeongguk is my best friend, he has a habit of calling my son 'our son' because he's been around him since birth and helped me a lot with raising him. I feel nothing but platonic feelings for Jeongguk and he feels the same. We're like brothers." I explained, a smile on my face.

So Seokjin was a softie. I should've guessed.

"I... I could've sworn... Well, that makes sense!" Seokjin threw his hands up and groaned, turning around so his back was to me and put his face in his hands.

"Seokjin? If the offer still stands I would love to go on a date with you. I just don't know if I can do it tonight." I smirked, feeling bolder now that I knew he was as awkward as me.

"I'll admit you DID make an impression. You made me so flustered I told you I was gay and ran." I added light-heartedly.

I heard Seokjin let out a small laugh and saw his shoulders shake a bit.

I pressed my lips together, thinking of how to make this situation less awkward.

“Would you like to have a drink with me? I’m kinda tired and need a break.” I smiled.

Seokjin nodded, only moving when I began to walk into my apartment.

“Woww!” He exclaimed in awe.

“What is it?” I asked, spinning around, full of fear.

“Your apartment looks so clean!” I let out a breath of relief.

I thought he found something bad. Like my son leaving a half-eaten sandwich on the floor or even Jeongguk forgetting my underwear on the couch because he insisted that he do laundry today.

Glad it wasn’t anything bad, I strolled to the kitchen to serve us glasses of lemonade. Seokjin looked around a bit before making his way into the kitchen.

“So, who’s your friend with the blunt advice?” I giggled, lifting my glass to my lips.

Seokjin smiled, “Yoongi. He goes back and forth between staying at my apartment and our friend Hoseok’s apartment. The day I did that was the day he was at Hoseok’s. He said I was like a toddler who he couldn’t leave alone.”

“Jeongguk says the same thing. He teased me endlessly for what I did,” I chuckled.

“Well, now we’re having a conversation like adults.”

“More like teenagers, because we’re having lemonade awkwardly.”

“Adults awkwardly drink lemonade too!” I laughed, only shaking my head.

“How old are you anyway? I want to say you’re my hyung, but the way you act contradicts that.” Seokjin pressed his hand to his chest in fake offense.

“I’m 26!”  

“So you’re a goofy hyung.”

“And you’re a rude dongsaeng!” Now it was my turn to be offended.

“How so!?”

“You should’ve asked my age when we met!”

“Well, I’m sorry I was distracted!”

“I know I’m handsome but please have manners!” My face pretty much heated up the whole room.

“It’s because Jeongguk shouted out the window! Then the second time you cornered me!” I defended my honor as best as I could.

“Ahh, I knew my handsome face affected you.” He smiled playfully, shifting his hand to blow me a kiss.

“…I will kick you out of my apartment.”

Seokjin let out a laugh, “Why?”

“Because you’re backing me into a corner!”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re handsome too.”

“…Where is Yoongi-hyung when you need him.”

“Yah! Why do you automatically call him hyung and not me!?”

“Because I learned my lesson!”

“Why didn’t you learn it before me!?”

“…I’m sorry, Hyung. I’ll do better next time.”

Seokjin smiled bigger, “Ah,” He clutched his chest, his face scrunching a bit like he was touched and proud, “what a respectful young man I’m raising you to be.”

“…I’m kicking you out.”

Over the next few days, Seokjin and I would wave to each other and sometimes he would knock at my door just to hang out. Jeongguk and Junseok seemed to really like him. It wasn’t long before I gave him my number so he could just text me when he would come over so I could just leave the door unlocked and so we could talk more.

If he wasn’t complimenting himself or me over text he would be giving me horribly good dad jokes.

I settled in easily and got a job working at Jeongguk’s ‘assistant’ since he worked as a camera operator. I was supposed to be as qualified as him, but what ends up happening is him teaching me how to work the camera and then him judging me when I fuck up. I am getting better, and I’m happy to have my best friend working with me.

After work is usually when Seokjin invites himself over. Since Jungkook and I are mostly attached to the hip, we pick up Junseok and all go home to my apartment together, so we make a ton of noise.

I needed to clean my apartment and go shopping one day, so Seokjin agreed to watch Junseok. I thought he would mind at first but he said he ‘would be honored to teach this young man his ways’ if I just promised that I would feed him dinner too… I wasn’t sure if I should’ve left him with Seokjin…

I had Seokjin stay at my now clean apartment while he watched Junseok since it would be easier. It was just Seokjin and Junseok since Jungkook had to go back to his own apartment to clean up.

I looked at the two bags of chips, one was ‘original’, meaning salt and a ton of grease and other one was octopus flavored. Since I haven’t tried the octopus flavored chip, I figured ‘what the hell’ and dropped them both in my basket.

“Old habits never die huh?” I heard making me freeze.

Please don’t be her.

I spun around and felt my blood boil, “Hyejin, what the actual fuck are you doing here?”

She gave me an awkward smile, “It’s nice to see you too.”

“Drop the crap, what do you want.”

“You just leaving was cruel. He’s my son too.” I narrowed my eyes at her, fighting every urge not to explode in a semi-busy store.

“You wanted nothing to do with him because it inconvenienced your ‘perfect life’. So you can fuck off with that. You literally delivered him, then handed him to me and never even visited until a few months ago. ”

“Because I regretted my decision.”

“Because the party was over. The people who ‘knew you better than me’ decided you were expendable.”

She sighed, “Stop being so mean!”

“Stop pretending like you came to this decision yourself and like you actually give a fuck.”

“What makes you think that I don’t!?”

“What’s the name of Junseok’s pig?”

There was silence. I sighed at her look of panic. Maybe I was too harsh, but I didn’t want MY son to be hurt by an unreliable person who only cared about themselves.

“Listen,” I began, looking down at my hands, trying to think over my words, “We used to have something and I didn’t plan on having a son so soon. You basically took matters into your own hands and forced this on the both of us. You had him, then handed him to me and never even looked his direction. I moved here to start over with him. So he wouldn’t hear stories of his mother at least for now. You left us both. You can see where I’m coming from can’t you?”

I looked up at the end of my rant to see her fuming.

I guess she couldn’t see where I was coming from.

“You can’t just pick up and start over without me! I’m his mother!”

“A mother doesn’t give her child up for partying and people who don’t care about anyone or anything.”

“Stop bringing my friends into this! It’s YOUR fault!”

I let out an annoyed sigh. This was going nowhere.

“You’re obviously not mature yet. Please leave me and MY son alone. I would consider you visiting my son if you grew up a little bit because you obviously haven’t learned anything. He starts school soon, and if I see or hear of you stalking him there or waiting at the fucking gates, so help me I will get every lawyer I can get my hands on to MAKE you stay away. So I’m politely telling you to go fuck yourself.” I grabbed another bag of chips and began to push past her.

“You can’t take my son from me!” She yelled as I walked away.

“I didn’t! You handed him over!” I called back, trying to walk away in fucking style.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Hyejin on the elevator ride up to my apartment.

Maybe I WAS too harsh.

Or maybe she was too stubborn to take a fucking hint.

I kept wondering if there was a compromise we could come to or if something was wrong with my logic.

I was afraid she’d get bored like before then leave again. Play nice for a few weeks then leave.

I didn’t want someone like that in my son’s life but she was right, she was his mother and she had rights.

What if I DID have to involve the law?

What if they decided that I shouldn’t get my son?

What if it all went downhill because I was too stubborn to just let her see him??

What if I DID let her see him and she took him from me??

I was so stuck in my thoughts that I didn’t notice that I got out the elevator and shoved open my front door.

I didn’t snap out of it until I heard a male scream. My head snapped up to see Seokjin leap from the couch and frantically look around for something to defend himself. After finding nothing he, for some reason, settled on Oink who was laying on the couch, cocking his arm back like he was going to throw it at me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa it's just me!" I held my hands up in front of me- "Put. The. Pig. Down!"

"You don't just walk into a man's home!" Seokjin scolded, shaking the pink stuffed pig at me in a demonstration of dominance.

“It’s MY apartment!”

“It was MY territory before you entered!”

“Like hell it is! I pay the bills!”

“I babysit and grace this place with my looks! Now tell me who REALLY provides for this family!”

As much as I tried to fight it, that made me smile. Despite me being too stressed and worked up to focus when I walked in, Seokjin made it all melt away in a matter of moments.

It was like 10 tons was lifted from my shoulders.

I sighed, letting my body relax, “You, Seokjin.” I smiled tiredly as I walked over to him.

He looked a little shocked at my words, still holding his guard up as I threw my arms around him to pull him into a thankful hug.

“You provide for this family more than you know.” I spoke, letting the silence hang in the air.

Then too much silence. It was only a few seconds of silence but it seemed like minutes. I was considering apologizing and pulling away, but I felt Jin wrap his arms around my waist and pull me closer.

It was now peaceful, comfortable, and reassuring silence.

It wasn’t like a hug with Jeongukk. Though it was filled with love and comfort, it felt like that but so much more.

I could feel my emotions pool in my chest and threaten to spill out. All from a simple hug.

“…I’m lost.” I admitted, hiding my face into his well-built shoulder.

Seokjin let out a small sigh, his arms tightening around me, “I’ll always be here to guide you.” He seemed to promise in a soft tone.

Maybe I could be willing to let Seokjin into my life more than I already had.

It really wouldn’t be so bad to let Seokjin be the person he wanted to be to me… Would it?

“So…about that date.” I began.

“Remember not to put the glass pitcher in the front of the fridge!” I called to Jeongguk as he was sat on the floor with my son.

I could hear their loud game continue, letting me know that they were far from listening. Their bowls of noodles sat behind them on the coffee table, untouched as they numbed themselves to the gaming world,

“Yah! Eat your food!” I snapped, making Jeongguk roll his eyes with an annoyed groan.

“Fine, MOM. We’ll eat.” He sassed, tapping my son’s side to get him to turn to the table.

I could hear a soft knock on the door that made me rush over to it. I pulled open my door, ready to tell Jin to just come in because I needed to wait for my socks to get out the drawer but my jaw dropped at the sight of him.

Black leather jacket, black shirt, dark jeans, and dark boots. A beautiful earring dangled from one of his ears, giving just the right amount of flash to draw attention.

I couldn’t help but stare in awe of the man I happened to snatch up by chance. I was taken by surprise by the outfit. He usually went for a more softer look. So my dumbass was wearing an oversized sweater and jeans to match his soft look but now that wasn’t happening.

Seokjin began to smirk at my obvious staring but just like that, it was over. The moment ruined with a noodle flying across the room, sauce splattering a bit on his face and my son cackling like the tyrant he was growing up to be.

My eyes widened and I quickly ran to get paper towels as Jeongguk began to scold my son about wasting noodles.

I made a mental note to scold my son for not only wasting noodles but ruining a perfectly good leather jacket.

“Sorry, Hyung! I should’ve warned you not to wear anything nice.” I let out a small awkward laugh.

“After all I’ve done to save Oink and THIS is how I’m treated!?” Seokjin mocked offense, a smile blessing his face, making me let out a breath of relief.

Seokjin the ran over to my son to ‘tackle’ him to the floor and wiggle his finger’s against my son’s side, causing my son to squeal with laughter. Jeongguk quickly picked a side as he jumped on Seokjin’s back to annoy him, causing Seokjin to yell at Jeongguk, but not causing him to stop tickling my son.

I smiled as warmth spread throughout my chest. Despite Seokjin’s attire, he was too soft for his own good and I loved that about him. He didn’t prod at my personal life, he didn’t push his boundaries, or judge how young I was with a son. Or even judge my relationship with Jeongguk. He just took it as it was and didn’t try to change it, he just wanted to be involved. He wanted to know me. He wanted to be a part of my life and take care of us.

“Yah! You’re ruining my date!” I complained, causing Jeongguk to blow into Seokjin’s ear as a form of rebellion.

“Stop giving foreplay!” I snapped at Jeongguk, causing his eyes to widen and for him to freeze in place.

Seokjin used Jeongguk’s pause to his advantage, grabbing Jeongguk to have him on his back so Seokjin could tickle him relentlessly too. Jeongguk let out a loud laugh as he tried to squirm out of Seokjin’s grasp.

“M/N! GET YOUR BOYFRIEND!”

“I don’t know, man. The way you were teasing him makes me think he’s YOUR boyfriend…”

“LESS SHIT TALK, MORE HELP!”

The date was not what I expected, but in a good way. Seokjin said he had a reservation somewhere and I thought it was a restaurant but after a few minutes of walking, he bought two bags of chips and some drinks as we casually strolled, which was gradually making my sanity decrease.

“So… Is this the date?” I asked as Seokjin’s eyes were trained on looking in his bag for the perfect chip.

“Would it be terrible if it was?” He asked, not bothering to look up.

“Not really, I just don’t really understand why we took an hour train ride to walk around.”

Seokjin only smirked. A moment of silence.

“So what do you think of koalas?” He tested.

“WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING!?”

Seokjin let out a laugh and kept walking. I glared at the back of his head, wondering if it would be too cruel to trip him.

Words can never explain how much I felt like a child as I hastily pulled off my shoes and put them away. I practically vibrated with excitement as Seokjin led me into the empty place.

A trampoline park.

No one else but us and staff.  

I was frozen in place, taken by surprise at just how huge this place was, “How did you manage to do this!? Are you rich or something!?” I gasped, “Am I your sugar baby now?” I asked as Seokjin un-glued me from my spot by pulling me by the hand.

“As much as I want you to think I’m perfect, my friend Taehyung works here. He offered the night to us.” He explained, stepping on the boarders of the trampolines on the floor so he could walk easily.

“…Are all your friends cool?” I asked, causing Seokjin to stop in his tracks and whip his head around to face me.

“Yah! Why do you want to know? I’m the coolest out of them! I’m the only 10!” I pressed my lips together in attempts to not burst out laughing.

Seokjin shook his head, “Let’s play a game! There are a few balls around, I go on one side and you go on the other, it hits the wall behind me, you get a point, I hit it behind you, you get a point.”

I could feel my competitive spirit spur in my chest, “Oh you’re fucking on!” I smirked, playfully pushing him to the side and rushing to get to the other side of the room.

“WHY DID YOU PUSH ME!?”

“PLAY THE GAME HYUNG!”

Seokjin decided to set a timer, 20 minutes, whoever got the most points in those 20 minutes was the winner. The loser had to buy dinner and the tickets back home. A few minutes into the game and I was only pulling 2 points ahead.

Seokjin was more athletic then I gave him credit for. Soon it got way too hot in the sweater I decided to wear. I was so used to playing these kinds of games with Jeongguk that I didn’t question it when I yanked off my sweater and threw it to the side to quickly get back into the game before Seokjin attempted to score.

However, that didn’t happen. Seokjin was walking with the ball, eyes too focused on me to the point where he stepped wrong between two trampolines, causing him to slip and the brightly colored borders to go directly into his groin. My hand flew up to my mouth as I heard the wind get knocked out of him painfully. I could feel second-hand pain in my stomach as he fell to the side, his hands cupping the now extremely sensitive area, his eyes watered.

“Holy shit! Hyung!? Are you okay!?” I asked, trying to run over but ended up losing my balance. Which ended in me doing a useless belly flop in his direction.

Seokjin let out a pain-filled chuckle, “Stop being cute I’m dying!”

“I’m sorry, Hyung!” I apologized quickly, getting up as fast as I could and stepping on the border so I wouldn’t lose balance again.

Before I could race to him Seokjin’s words stopped me, “YAH! Put on your shirt first!!”

I nodded rapidly and rushed over to grab my sweater, yanking it on and turning to sprint to Jin. Which made my impatient ass slip.

Again.

I let out a frustrated groan as I belly-flopped again.

“Oh just fucking forget it!” Seokjin murmured breathlessly, rolling onto his back.  

“How about I just walk?” I suggested.

“That would be best considering this place is a death trap.”

I stood again, moving to walk carefully on the borders until I got to Seokjin. I kneeled down beside him, petting his head in attempts to comfort him.

“…Thank you.” He muttered, staring at the ceiling, looking like he was questioning every choice he’s ever made.

“…This means I win right?”

“Gloat all you want but I’m never bringing you here ever again and I’m telling Taehyung that he tried to kill me.”

“…No one had you staring.” I tried to hold back the laughter that was bubbling in my chest.

“SO NOW IT’S MY FAULT THAT YOU GOT NAKED IN FRONT OF ME!?” Seokjin suddenly popped off.

“I just took off my shirt. It was too hot.” I defended.

“TOO HOT IS RIGHT! YOU CHEATED! YOU KNEW THAT WOULD MAKE ME FLUSTERED! I WANT A REMATCH WHEN I CAN FEEL MY LEFT LEG AGAIN!” Seokjin ranted.

I giggled, “Hyung, just admit that you like my body and you lost.”

“I didn’t lose! You cheated! How would you feel if I took off my shirt during a game?”

“I would like it very much.” I teased.

I could see color bloom in Seokjin’s cheeks and ears.

I could feel adoration fill my chest, “You’re so cute.”

“I’m a 26-year-old man. I’m not cute.”

“If I get you dinner can I call you cute?”

“You get me dinner and I charge you for getting to have a meal with me.”

“You called me cute, this isn’t fair.”

“Don’t talk back to your hyung.”

“…My hyung just broke his balls…”

“And it demands respect!”

I half expected Seokjin to take me to a cafe or something, but instead, he was arguing on the phone as I‌ grabbed chips out of a vending machine.

“I set up that reservation three hours ago!”‌ My eyebrows shot up.

“How the fuck did you even do that in the first place??”‌ Seokjin pressed his hand to the phone as if to completely keep the person on the other line from hearing.

“Someone canceled and I booked it.”‌ He responded in a hushed tone.

The other person seemed to say something because Seokjin quickly removed his hand and snapped, “They DID cancel!”‌

I only shook my head as I looked around. There were a few small restaurants. One looked like it had some good looking noodles. Another one had shrimp wrapped in something that I first thought was noodles. It was more like a batter of sorts, it was all dipped in the deep fryer. I was more curious about what the hell that dough was than hungry for it.

I‌ did see one stall that stood out though. An older woman was making knife-cut noodles. She didn’t have many people since there was a constant battle of everyone one-upping each other.

I turned to Seokjin, who was still arguing with this person who wasn’t budging. I grabbed his hand and began to pull him towards the stall. He was too focused on bickering that he just let me drag him along. I pushed down on his shoulders to make him sit then turned to the surprised woman.

“Two bowls please!”‌ I‌ eagerly asked.

“Would you like chicken or pork in your bowl?”‌ She asked, mirroring my smile.

I frowned a bit looking over at Seokjin, still arguing. I wasn’t really sure what he would prefer.

“One bowl of each? He’s a little stubborn.”‌ I chuckled awkwardly.

She only nodded in understanding as she began to cook the noodles. I was excited, getting chopsticks and looking over the add-in options.

“Hyung, she has soybean paste!”‌ I exclaimed.

I didn’t hear a break in his stupid dispute.

“WHY TELL ME THERE WAS A CANCELLATION IF THERE WASNT!? THEY CALLED TO CANCEL THEY CAN'T JUST TAKE IT BACK!”

I let out a huff. Well at least I know he’s passionate about what he believes in.

I reached up and grabbed his phone, ignoring his appalled face as I ended the call.

“Yah!‌ I was winning! That was rude!” He scolded me.

“You weren’t winning!‌ You were arguing with a wall! Pay attention to me.”‌ I grumbled, moving to shove his phone in my pocket.

“Hey! Give me my phone!”‌ He tried to lunge for it but I held my arm out to just keep it out his reach.

“We came out to have a nice time!”‌ I whined.

“We are having a nice time!”‌

“You arguing about a table is not a nice time!”‌

Seokjin was about to retaliate but was cut off by the woman setting the bowls in front of us.

“Thank you!”‌ I smiled at her, successfully pocketing the phone.

“Pork or chicken?”‌ I asked, handing him chopsticks.

Seokjin wordlessly grabbed the chopsticks from me and slid the bowl with chicken closer to himself. A pout rested on his rose lips.

I‌ groaned, “Hyung, the reservation wasn’t THAT important to argue for twenty minutes.”‌

More silence.

I let out a sigh and pulled the pork bowl closer, mixing the noodles and beginning to eat. I looked over to the add-in options and got the hot pepper paste. I put a decent sized dab in my bowl and offered it to Seokjin, who just took it in more muteness. I only rolled my eyes and went back to eating. Who knew an argument could mean so much to him.

After about half a bowl of noodles, he finally spoke.

“I‌ wanted tonight to be perfect.”‌

I raised an eyebrow at him. He was only staring at his noodles in defeat.

“And it is so far… except for you arguing for twenty minutes then ignoring me for ten.”

Seokjin turned to me, sadness in his eyes, “But you finally said yes!‌”

His words slowly sunk in as he continued, “I didn’t get a lot of time to set this up, but I still wanted to blow you away.”‌ Oh great now I felt like a dick for not planning the date at a later time.

“I said yes because I wanted to know you more, not what you could offer me. I understand you want it to be perfect but I honestly feel more comfortable eating noodles at a stall than in a fancy restaurant that I have to get glares every time I laugh too loud. This IS perfect, Hyung.”‌

Seokjin looked back down at his bowl, “…If I would’ve known you were this cheap I would’ve had a picnic at the park.”‌ He grumbled.

“CAN WE!?”‌

Seokjin shook his head at me, a disapproving look on his face.

"I make a KILLER lemonade!"‌ I added with a proud smile.

I‌ saw Seokjin try to hold back a smile, "We'll have a picnic date next time."‌ He confirmed, lifting up a bundle of noodles.

We heard a clatter to the side of us. We whipped our heads to look towards the woman. She had dropped a spoon and looked a little... surprised?

"Ma'am, are you okay?"‌ I asked softly.

Seokjin only frowned, "Yes, we're on a date. I've even seen him without a shirt and I liked it."‌

My head snapped over to look at Seokjin, "Hyung!"

"We're planning on going home together,"‌ Seokjin added to my horror.

"OKAY!THANKYOUSOMUCHFORTHEMEALWE'REGOINGTOGONOW!" I yelled in one breath, frantically trying to pull my wallet out of my pocket.

"He even has a son so we don't need to adopt. We're going to raise a CHILD. TWO MEN."

"HYUNGSTOPTALKING!" I slammed the money on the table, just knowing I gave more money than was needed.

My face was way too hot and my brain was far too scattered to deal with what Seokjin just did.

I grabbed his hand and began to try to yank him away. It was useless. The man didn't budge.

"I'm going to use the belt tonight because he made me lose an argument."‌

World.

Just open up and take me now.

It wasn't just the woman who was staring now, it was others around the small market as well. I‌ wanted to melt into the floor.

“Hyung…”‌I‌ whispered, “If we leave now I’ll buy you cake.”

The ride and stroll home was by far my favorite part of the date. Even though I had to buy Seokjin a pretty expensive slice of cake –I’ve never seen someone shove a whole slice of strawberry cake in their mouth– we still talked the whole way home. Embarrassing stories of our childhoods, who our friends were and everything in between. It was amazing until the dreaded topic was brought up.

“What about Junseok? Does he talk to his mother?”‌

Fuck.

I looked down at my feet as we walked, thinking over my works. I tried to figure out how I was going to tell this story without being biased or have Seokjin thing badly of Hyejin.

Seokjin must have thought I didn’t want to tell him, “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too sore of a subject…”‌ He added, a little disappointed.

“It’s not that!”‌ I‌ quickly said, looking up as fast as I spoke.

I let out an awkward laugh from my outburst, “It’s just that I‌ don’t know how to really tell the story in a neutral or fair way. I only know one side of the story so it’s a little complicated.”‌

Seokjin let out a sigh. He reached over to grab my hand and dragged me over to some stairs close by. He sat down and patted beside him, “This sounds like it will take a while, so start from the beginning. We have the time.”‌

I looked down at him, shaking my head, “You just want to torture my best friend.”‌

“Looking after that well-behaved, future child of mine, is not torture.”‌ I raised an eyebrow.

“Future child of yours?”‌

“Just sit down and spill.”‌

I sighed, and plopped down next to him, this was going to be hard explaining this to someone who didn’t know Hyejin.

“I used to have two best friends. Jeongguk, and Hyejin. Hyejin was a girl and she kinda stuck around us,” I‌ began, trying to keep my eyes dead ahead so I wouldn’t have to look into his eyes. I‌ was almost afraid he would judge me.

“Jeongguk was in sports and had two other friends, Jimin and Taehyung. So sometimes Jeongguk and I couldn’t hang out. I‌ wasn’t mad about it, I mean I‌ didn’t expect him to not have other friends. But Hyejin made it seem like it was like he committed treason,”‌ I‌ scoffed at the ridiculousness, “She kept saying ‘if he’s having fun so should we’.”‌ I‌ mocked her stupid voice.

I could see Seokjin press his lips together to hold back laughter. I‌ sighed and began to rub my hands on my thighs nervously.

“I‌ was an art student. I‌ was trying to keep my grades above average and I didn’t care about having fun. But Hyejin kept going on and on and I knew that she wouldn’t stop until I gave in and went with her at least once. So I did. ” I‌ could feel my heart speed up at the thought of finishing the stupid story that seemed to affect me years later.

“Jimin had told me once that Hyejin was giving me heart eyes. I‌ told him she was our childhood friend, so he was wrong. Jeongguk and I talked about how she seemed to be the most unconvinced when I‌ came out, but I was too idiotic to think she would just let it go.”‌ I could feel anger begin to build and sting the back of my eyes.

“So sure enough, I‌ got black-out drunk and wandered upstairs. I just wanted to pass out and have someone drag me home in the morning. I‌ remember diving onto the bed and texting Jeongguk. I‌ remember Hyejin coming into the room and asking if I was plastered. I‌ remember saying something stupid like ‘I’m not plaster, I’m a person.’. I‌ remember her flipping me over and complaining about taking me home. I just remember her hovering over me. I‌ thought she was just going to complain more and take me home like a decent fucking human being would.”‌I nearly growled.

Seokjin scooted closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He pulled me close but said nothing, allowing me to continue.

“The last thing I‌ remember was her stupid fucking face hovering over me. I‌ woke up next to her. Being the idiot I was, I‌ woke her up and told her we would keep it a secret. I‌ dumbly thought she was as wasted as me and we just happened to hook up. We didn’t talk about it and I told her that if she brought it up, we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”‌ Even the summarized version made my blood boil.

“A few weeks later, she called in sick to school. When Jeongguk and I called in to check up on her, we were yelled at by her mom. Well… I‌ was yelled at by her mom. I‌ was called a low-life player and a bunch of other stupid shit. When I asked her what the hell her problem was, she told me Hyejin was pregnant.”‌

“I had to explain to Jeongguk what happened. Of course, Jeongguk was pissed. My family wasn’t very stable financially. But Hyejin’s family was. I had to explain to my parents. They weren’t as hard on me as they could’ve been, but they were disappointed. Jeongguk was the first to say she did it on purpose.”

“I believe him.”‌ Seokjin’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“I‌ do too. I tried to get a job, I‌ mean I was going to have a kid. So I stopped taking school as seriously. I figured if I‌ passed just above the bar it would be enough for art school. Hyejin kept telling me that being a parent was a full-time thing. She wasn’t going to let me go to art school. I told her that I WAS going. There were plenty of fathers in college! I‌ tried damn hard to get above the bar while working. It’s was 8 months of hell with Hyejin. Jeongguk would invite me to hang out with him and his friends, only for Hyejin to somehow find us and tell off Jimin like he was trying to steal me away. I‌ told her to cut it out, only for her to tell me I was hers until the baby was born. Jeong–”‌

“Bitch.”‌ I choked on air.

Seokjin patted my back as I coughed and sputtered, “Are you okay!?”‌ He questioned, worry written all over his face. My choking turned into laughter as I leaned onto Seokjin’s lap.

“What!? I’m sorry, but that’s crazy stalker level bitchery!”‌ He defended, only causing me to laugh more. Literal tears.

I felt Seokjin’s fingers comb through my hair as he let out small laughs of his own, waiting for me to calm down.

It wasn’t so bad in Seokjin’s lap. It was warm and comforting. Just what I needed for the finale of the horror story. My laughter died down. He didn’t stop playing with my hair as my breath evened out.

“Jeongguk was going to move here. But he stayed until Junseok was born.” I‌ said softly.

I rubbed my face more against his thigh, “That was nice of him.”‌Seokjin’s voice was feather-light.

“She left us.”‌ I‌ stated.

Seokjin’s fingers froze.

“Her parents were insisting I should marry her. My parents would fight back. A few weeks before Junseok was born, her parents put us in an apartment to live together. My mother hated it. It was pretty high-end. A few days before Junseok was born, Hyejin and I got into a fight about us getting married. I wasn’t going to do it. I would support her and my child. I‌ would make sure he grew up right, but I wasn’t going to trap myself in a loveless marriage. So when Junseok was born. She ignored me almost the whole time. Only waking up to feed him then going back to bed. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk were more excited to see him than she was. It was no surprise that as soon as she was able to walk around, she packed her things, handed me Junseok and left everything to me.”‌

I felt wet hit my cheek.

After a moment of confusion, I looked up at Seokjin. His eyes were red, tears beginning to streak down his cheeks.

I‌ quickly sat up to cup his face, “Why are you crying?”‌ I asked, trying to wipe away as many tears as I would.

“He’s such a great son. Why wouldn’t she just give him a chance?‌!” I’ve never seen him so hurt and angry.

I let out a sigh, “She came back last year. She tried to act like nothing happened. She just kept coming over and saying I was the problem for not giving her a chance. He knows her as his aunt, which creeps me out. So I moved so she would leave us alone. She just knows I’m in Seoul.”‌ I sagged my shoulders and dropped my hands to his thighs.

“Well she can suck my ass he’s my son now.”‌

“WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO CLAIM MY SON??” I‌ demanded.

Seokjin chuckled, “I’m telling you, he’s a great boy. You did perfect.”‌ His voice was soft and comforting.

He placed his hand in my hair to ruffle it, “You and your son are perfect for me.”‌

He’s face was still blotched red. His eyes shined with the light and his nose was as red as his ears. He was beautiful. It hurt to see him cry, but I couldn’t help the fondness that built in my chest.

“You’re perfect for us too.”‌ I‌ whispered.

His eyes turned into crescents as his smile grew.

“You’re even handsome when you cry.”‌ I‌ smirked.

“Yah!”‌ The switch flipped.

Seokjin drew back to smack the back of my head, “I’m starting to think you only want me around for my looks!”‌

“That’s not true!” I rubbed the back of my head with a pout, “I keep you around because you cook and make dad jokes.”‌

“…Do you appreciate them?”‌

“Very much so.”‌

“…Then I will continue to stay.”‌

Seokjin and I walked into the apartment building hand-in-hand. I would occasionally swing our hands, being the idiot I‌ was. Seokjin had a thing for winking at people who stared, which I had to scold him for.

Upon exiting the elevator, Seokjin turned to me, “How about I hang out at your apar-”‌

A‌ loud shriek cut Seokjin off. Making us both jump and look down the hall.

“JUNSEOK GIVE ME THE BASKET OF TOWELS!!!”‌ I could hear Jeongguk’s muffled yelling from in the apartment.

“SECRET AGENT SEOK WILL USE THEM TO ESCAPE THE EVIL VILLAIN!”‌

“YOU USE THEM TO CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW AND I WILL GRAB SCIS- STOP TYING THEM TOGETHER YOUR FATHER WILL KILL ME!”‌

I let out a deep sigh, turning to Seokjin, “You still sure he’s a good son?”‌

Seokjin gave me a big smile, “He’s tormenting Jeongguk. He’s the best son.”‌

I‌ could hear Junseok scream.

“SCREAM ALL YOU WANT! YOU CAN’T GO OUT THE WINDOW!!!”‌

Seokjin let out a sigh of his own, his hand tightened around mine, “Let’s go handle our son, shall we?”‌

[averygim]

hello all. you can call me cal or jeepers, which is my discord name and i think is funny tbh, but i mostly go by cal. my pronouns are they/them and ‘m in the est timezone. i’m a bit late to the game but i’m still v excited to introduce my child avery to ya’ll. below is a whole mass of text that’ll help you get to know this mess of a child. uwu it’s easiest to reach me on discord at jeepers creepers #5103, but i also try and respond as quick as i can to tumblr ims so it’s really whatever you prefer !!

basics

name: avery gim job: baker at peau d’amour age: twenty-five gender: cismale pronouns: he/him sexuality: grey-asexual / panromantic birthday: february 6th zodiac: aquarius personality type:  advocate | infj pinterest board: HERE

aesthetic

the haunting sound of a piano in a memory you can’t quite reach

a warm summer night spent watching fireflies dance among the trees

a bite of a fresh peach that leaves your mouth sticky and sweet

theme song: the 7th sense by nct u

hatred that will not go away and dreams that torture me the clock laughs at me, it does not give a single error i’m a mess, I don’t even know myself, my future is colored darkly i’m struggling, coloring this night even blacker in the irregularity that’s hard to understand there’s a story that’s deeply hidden eyes are being opened through this song your dreams are being read it’s being awakened from a deep sleep my seventh sense

positive & negative

affable ( adj ) : friendly, good-natured, or easy to talk to.

languid ( adj ) : (of a person, manner, or gesture) displaying or having a disinclination for physical exertion or effort; slow and relaxed.

versatile ( adj ) : able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities.

candid ( adj ) :  truthful and straightforward; frank.

then

it begins when he’s four years old - this obsession in him. his parents couldn’t have expected that sending their son to piano lessons we enact such a wild passion in their small, quiet boy. it was hard to pick out at first. often, they would pick their child up from his lesson to find his small chubby cheeks stained with tears. his parents assumed he was simply being stubborn about learning the instrument. they would see the kids dragged to the lessons bemoaning their distaste to it to their parents and would tell each other “our boy is simply quiet with his dislike for it. he has never been a talker.” and  would keep taking him week after week. the piano teacher couldn’t enlighten them to what was going through their child’s mind in terms of why he seemed to work himself up into such a state. she explained to them that he seemed attentive whenever she would teach him and it was only until he started to practice on his own that the tears would begin. neither parties could get a word out of the child though he often seemed to calm fairly quickly post lesson, spending the car ride home pressing his small fingers into his thighs as though there was an invisible piano etched into his skin. at one point, his parents seemed to give in a bit to their uncertainty of how their child was doing, offering to take him out of the lessons. the aggressive shake of the four years old’s head and high squeaky voice insisting “ no, no !! “ was quite the surprise. it wasn’t until a year later, when he began to find his voice that he admitted to his piano teacher that he just loved piano so much, he couldn’t stop himself from crying whenever he got to play. the teacher passed this along to the parents with much amusement and relief.

the passion the young boy had for the instrument didn’t falter over the years, even as his peers turned to other extracurriculars and sports rather than the piano. his parents opted to get him a keyboard to set up in his room on his seventh birthday, still wary about how long he would remain content with the lessons. they had never enjoyed the instrument with such conviction when they were forced to take lessons growing up. it was, at least, comforting to know that their quiet child still enjoyed spending time doing kid things, such as playing outside, playing pretend and colouring. he even showed an interest in baking, which he often did with his grandmother, much to the disbelief of his father. still, he was a good child and despite the wariness his father had of allowing him to indulge in his more feminine hobbies ( he was very much stuck in the throws of toxic masculinity ), his mother and grandparents supported him fully in whatever he wanted to do. so during the week, he would go to his piano lessons and play with the neighbourhood kids outside. then, on the weekends, he would spend time with his mother’s parents, often baking some sort of treat with his grandmother and listening to his grandfather tell tall tales of his own childhood.

as he got older, his skill in piano progressed more and more. between his lessons and the studious way he practiced, he ended up participating in a variation of different concerts. by the time he reached his early teens, he was playing with the adult orchestra with nine years of lessons and experience under his belt. it was an astounding thing- to hear him play. it was as if this lazy, beautiful human was gifted with talent from the gods, but he wasn’t. he worked for his ability. countless hours pressing fingers into plastic keys. perhaps that is why, for his sixteenth birthday, his grandparents and parents pulled together the money to buy him a grand piano. it was then, upon walking into the home to find the piano gracing the room that used to be the den of their house, that he discovered he hadn’t quite outgrown his habit of crying when overwhelmed with emotion.

between creating compositions, practicing, baking with his grandma, and the hell that was high school, he didn’t have much time for anything else. he didn’t mind. he was content with his work, both with the piano and at school. he had a tendency to overwork himself within the confines of his piano room and bedroom between the two. this led to him developing a bad reputation of being a lazy and privileged individual who got away with sleeping in class. his peers saw him as someone favoured by teachers, when in truth it was simply because he’d had multiple discussions previously with them about being awake in class. many of them had agreed to let it slide so long as his grades were maintained. it was a necessary thing to seek as if his parents found out they would no doubt put restrictions on how he was working. 

despite the peer isolation, which later led to a fair amount of social awkwardness on his part, he seemed to get along great with those he went up against in competitions. perhaps it was their shared love or enjoyment of the instrument. regardless, he created a group of friends outside of the school scene and, despite many of them being older than him, he was respected and treated much better than others his age treated him. 

the summer post high school graduation saw him doing something no one could have predicted ( aside from his grandfather who swears up and down that he saw this coming since he was seven years old ). he set out on a tour of major cities, performing alone on a stage with simply a piano, a mask, and a single spotlight. see, in the latter years of his teens, he really blew up thanks to the internet. he became known under a moniker the he’d used on his youtube channel, which he would post videos of his personal compositions and covers of songs on. it led to some artists and producers reaching out collaborate, which, in turn, increased his popularity.

( car accident tw ) life was good for five years. he got to do what he loved and loved what he did. of course, all good things must come to an end, even if that good thing felt like it is your entire life. at twenty three, the now grown quiet boy got into a car accident. a drunk driver hit the car his mother was driving with him in the passenger seat. his mother survived with a few bruised ribs and a broken arm while he came out of it with severe head trauma. head trauma that, out of all things, resulted in hearing loss. the cochlea and hearing nerves in his inner ears were damaged to the point that it sounded like a hush fell over the world. it was a difficult reality to swallow. 

( depression tw ) it was a loss like no other. he could no longer hear his piano. he could no longer get lost in the world his music created. depression hit him heavy and hard, dragging him under in a suffocating hold. seventeen years. he’d been playing piano for seventeen years and now that ability was severely disabled. he withdrew, cutting ties with almost all of his friends who were apart of the music world. his parents didn’t know what to do with their quiet child who seemed to become deathly silent after the accident. the whole family had signed up in solidarity to learn asl alongside him. the only ones who seemed to muster out any sort of reactions or responses from him were his grandparents who struggled to learn the new way of communicating. he tried hearing aids in addition, however, the damaged required a more intensive solution. cochlear implants. he refused despite the struggle he still faced with the hearing aids. his family tried to get him to go through with the surgery, however he was an adult and it was his decision to make. so he continued to allow himself to waste away in the distorted world around him. his father responded to his state with anger, while his mother grieved and worried over him from afar. his grandparents were around as much as they could be, reaching out with patient hands. it would take two years for him to reach back.

twenty-four and feeling stuck, exhausted, and just down right sick, the quiet boy finally inched out of the shell the accident had left him in. it starts with therapy, then medication, and ends with stepping into the kitchen with his grandmother again. his piano remained untouched, gathering dust in his home behind a locked door. no one brought it up, not yet, and instead slow steps were eventually taken. he spoke for the first time post asl and hearing aids to his mother. his voice raspy and barely there from disuse. he couldn’t hear himself, but his mother had burst into tears as his grandparents smiled at each other with watery eyes. it was progress. slow progress, but they were glad that he was finally taking steps forward. 

it was five months after his twenty-fourth birthday that he decided to undergo the cochlear implant surgery. he held no hope for what he’d be able to do with the upgrade. he didn’t allow himself to think of the abandoned piano or the possibility of getting back into music. no, instead, he simply kept his eyes forward as though the past no longer existed. instead, he spent his time baking with his grandmother, helping with the small business she’d started when he was in middle school. the surgery was a success, but the quiet man did not cry when he was finally able to hear with more clarity. there were no tears of overwhelming happiness, instead he’d simply smiled at his mother when she asked if he could hear her and said yes.

it took him six months to decide he needed to move. despite his family still living in the area he grew up in, he needed to get away. he wanted out of the city and eventually settled on moving to beauhart, a place suggested by one of the few friends he kept in touch with post-accident. the official transition happened three months ago where he moved out of the apartment he bought for himself at twenty and into his own home. it was a bit large for just himself and his mother worried that he would fall back into bad habits, but he loved the old styled place. it had a front porch and was painted a gentle yellow. the front was filled with a garden of flowers and bushes that wrapped around to the fence that encased the backyard. his father hated it, but his grandparents had approved when they first saw it, having travelled with his mother to help with the unpacking once everything had arrived. it held more warmth than his apartment had. perhaps it was because he was going to be living in it full time or the character / personality the house itself had. regardless, he felt settled for the first time in almost two years. no one mentioned the grand piano that had been placed in the third bedroom of the house.

three months post move found him working at the local bakery. the early mornings were tough, but the consistency was enjoyable for him. it helped, significantly, with his mental health. he promised his mother to call at least twice a week and his grandmother almost every other day to gossip. despite his awkwardness with social cues and languid nature, he managed to make connections with other residents. things seemed to be looking up, though there still remained that empty part of him and a door unopened.

extras

he is, for all intents and purposes, socially an idiot. he can’t pick up verbal cues up very well and often chooses to ignore them even if they are glaringly obvious. some kind find this incredibly annoying or be endeared by it. usually it’s the former, though avery has never minded. he has no desire to be liked by everyone and is more than happy to continue going by the beat of his own drum.

definitely often produces the wrong first impressions, especially with his looks. he takes care of himself, has been instilled with the habit, especially after how rough his twenty-third and fourth year was. so it’s not often he goes out looking like the drowned rat he enjoys being at home. it’s part of his routine that has helped him stay on track mentally.

definitely a momma’s boy, but would literally do anything for his grandparents. he is planning on having them visiting him as soon as he manages to get his guest room furnished and decorated. 

 if he wants to avoid something, he ignores it. it’s a terrible coping habit that manifests in small instances and larger situations. it’s very childish in many ways, but his therapist has yet to be able to break him out of it. 

is looking into adopting an animal, but is torn between what sort of animal. he has been looking at the humane society, but has yet been able to decide.

he is very indecisive about the smallest of things, but somehow manages to be able to make the bigger and more important decisions ??? 

has a very weird and varied taste in music.

 learned korean from his grandparents when he was younger but primarily speaks english or asl. 

often moves around his house without his hearing aids and keeps things quiet. a book nerd post accident. his favourite thing to do is spend the day on his porch swing reading.

he has been thinking of taking online business courses to learn more about running/owning his own business. he hasn’t mentioned it to anyone, not is planning to, but when he thinks about the future he’s wondering if owning his own bakery could be a possible option.

honestly a sleepy boy even though he has a perfectly reasonable sleep schedule ???

doesn’t know how to flirt. doesn’t even know how to hold a conversation with someone he has a crush on. is very awkward with them.

likes to try and make wacky things (baking wise) when bored then try and make you try it without any forewarning. 

is actually pretty good at making elaborate cakes and frosting designs. does cake commissions on the side for birthdays, in fact.

gets lost really easily. its been three months and he still sometimes forgets where to turn when driving home.

will steal your pet if you leave him alone with them ( not literally ).

is terrible at texting and is the type of person to call you to have a conversation. this is mostly because he’s too lazy to text.

enjoys memes and quotes them sarcastically, sometimes when it’s definitely not appropriate.

has a habit of staring without meaning too. this could either be off into space or actually at someone. he doesn’t necessarily mean to do it. at times it’s a case of dissociation and others it’s simply him having no common sense and/or is blatant day dreaming.

will not ride as a passenger in a car. he’s been able to drive again post implants but the trauma of the accident has caused him a real fear of being someone else’s passenger. 

sometimes, without him realizing it, he’ll mime playing the piano. the habit of pressing his fingers into invisible keys too engrained to erase. he attempts to avoid music a lot, especially classical. it’s somewhat impossible to do at work and outside of his home. at times, he gives in to his desire to try and hear it the way he used to and will blast the music until he can feel the base thrumming in his veins. it’s as detoxing as it is frustrating. as much as he can hear, it will never be like it used to be for him.

if you read all of this i applaud you. tell me your favourite colour, animal, and/or food and then we can plot C:<

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[sarcasm-is-my-native-tounge]

Adventures in running a table at a charity bazaar

Day 1

-Lady bitching abt how the younger generation is wasteful and just throws everything away... Uhhh okay lol

-As i was carrying a VERY large tote full of books this man walks by with an EMPTY hand truck and says "wow that looks heavy" and walks off. I might kill a man today.

-Two ladies running a pyramid scheme for shitty makeup. "Yeah it's $50 for like a drop of anti-age serum but if you get your friends to invest too it ends up really cheap! Do you and your friends have credit cards?" Yeah ok.

-One lady actually made some super cute christmas decorations I hope good things happen to her she is v nice

-One of the same ladies who is running the pyramid scheme keeps telling me to smile and i am going to SNAP

-Lady in the kitchen kept getting distracted (its really not her fault, people kept going in there and talking to her) and it took her 45 minutes to slap some meat and cheese on some bread for me and i am STARVING HOLY FUCK HURRY UP

-Had to lug a 50lb sandwich board 3 blocks to the main intersection by myself whilst being slapped in the face by several balloons and couldn't see

-My grandmas neighbor has COTTON CANDY HERE AND I WANT SOME

-Other pyramid scheme lady is super nice tho I feel bad she is trapped in that

-No one is fucking hereeee

-Seriously though I kinda really want some cotton candyyyyy

-Old man in the kitchen made some bomb ass homemade chili and its delicous but its not really agreeable with my stomach sooooo i might buy some before i go home

-I doubt I'm getting paid for any of this bullshit and that's fine i guess

-The. Most. Umcomfortable. Chairs. In. Existence.

-At least this provides a distraction from my job interview on Tuesday 😬

-During set up last night, there were a couple kids doing a karate class and when they were done they were super sweet and helped us move tables and such and i heard one of them go DISGUSTANG really loud in an echoey room full of old ladies and I felt my soul leave my body. Teenagers are fuckin amazing

-Man looking through some prints I'm selling. Other lady wants to look too, she asks him to pull the stack he already looked through bc he has been there for like 5 minutes. "Well You can just wait" he says. Another 5 minutes later he is finally done. This lady has had to sit down bc she can't stand too long. He goes "there ya go. Didnt kill ya now did it?" What a fucking dick

-My grandmas neighbor has a hoodie that says Winchester on it and i figured it was like the place or something but as she walked by i noticed that in fact it said Sam and Dean on the bottom and i dont know what to do with this information now

-One vendor brought her dog and his name is Russel Wilson its SO CUTE

-Theres this home made Rudolph... Thing that just keeps staring at me. It is very cursed and i hate it

-God everyone who shows up is either an old lady or a crackhead

-The one crackhead woman was really nice though. I hope she does well

-Every vendor's phone is so fuckin loud what is with boomers i stg

-One lady. Made tote bags. Out of bags of horse feed. Whyyyy

-Evidently as I walked away from my grandma and someone she was talking to, that person was like "oh my goodness she has such pretty hair" which made me feel rly nice thank you embroidery woman

-Oh god that chili smells so good

-Someone brought doughnuts fuuuuuuck

-Im gonna blow all my gas money on food guys god dammit

-I wish it wouldn't be considered rude to watch netflix rn

-Thank fuck the bitch pyramid scheme lady left

-ADORABLE SMALL CHILDREN

Oh my GOD they were so cute my HEART. One little girl saw this halloween decoration and giggled really hard and said "eyeballsss" it was SO FUCKING CUTE. "Can i have a baf boom?" (Bath bomb) Im gonna cryyyy. Those girls have their dad wrapped around their fingers oh my Lord.

-I bought the chili. Burnt the shit outta my mouth. No regrets.

-1pm rolls around and fuckin no one is showing up. I wanna watch TWD dammit

-Vendor lady's sister's purse got stolen outta her shopping cart today apparently Awh 😕

-Now everyone is swapping attempted theft stories lol

-Girl came in named Rehannon. Looked like Stevie Nicks. I am blessed.

-We close in 2 hours and im pretty sure only 15 people came in

-Yeah ive been watching Netflix. God i wanna leave.

The cursed Rudolph btw

[sexxxlovemusic-blog]

Screaming.....

I really dont understand what is going through my head, because it's seriously nothing.... at all!! yet I feel like I want to cry all the time. And I come home to your arms and it all goes away. I'm going to start these stupid pills again, maybe if they make me sick my mind will understand that I'm okay and dont need them or something so I can stop having this constant war in my head. Fuck I have such a headache.... and all I want is the day to be over so I can fall asleep in your arms, even though I just woke up not to long ago.....

I just want it all to be over in my head. I wish help was more affordable. I could probably really use someone to talk to so I can get over everything from my past. I just want to be completely happy. I want my mind to just stop putting me in a dark place even though nothing is currently wrong. Everything is amazing right now, I live on my own with my one and only true love, I have a family and a job and a couple friends I can count on but dont see often enough... Yet i guess i just dont feel good enough to be a part of it all.. my mind makes me feel like a waste of space or waste of time.....

The other day I got a flower from my man, as I look at it now I feel happier and I know for a fact I am loved. And.... like I said.... everything is fine! So, why does my head hurt and not feel fine? I want it to go away!!!! I want to lift this darkness off my shoulders and just watch it disappear forever. Hmmm... maybe I've got like..... a personality disorder or some shit like that. My mind seriously takes me out of anything and just sticks me in a hole of bad and horrible things. And I can be perfectly fine the next day. And just keep jumping in and out of this hole multiple times through the week........ And I feel like I'd bother anyone if I say another word about not being happy when I truly have nothing to complain about....

So here is my rant of nothingness. Meh.... I know I reminisce about the past a little to much, yeah I miss my past friends and wish I could go back for some things to keep..... like my mom for sure is the biggest one.... And there is a big reason why these "friends" aren't in my life anymore and I just need to move on... I know that's not a healthy thing to do and I just need to keep looking at my future and stop turning back...... But my future scares me, I dont know where I'm going to end up, or how bad im going to mess up, if im going to end up with a cute family of my own, or if my kids are going to hate me, or if im even going to have kids........

Will I end up alone and be grumpy like my dad? Or will I end up traveling the world like I dream of doing and have the brightest of days? Or will life get the best of me at a young age like my mom....... It's so scary to think about.

I hate not knowing... And living in the moment is kinda a drag for me, doing the same thing every day, work, sleep, eat, clean, have sex once in a while, the most amazing sex I've ever had. Haha! But, yeah, idk, mostly the same things every day. Maybe I should get into drawing again. Or writing even... even though i am not good at them in any way shape or form. Haha. There's a reason why i almost failed every class i took ever. I want to see something new, go somewhere i haven't been.

Maybe this vacation next week, instead of going somewhere that'll make me sad, maybe we can go to something new. Granted, this place that makes me sad, it also has some of the best memories, it's my childhood, it's my family, its.......not there anymore.......

And now I'm crying...... oh how I wish it was still there..... How I wish my family reunions were still there, how I wish my man could meet all the people who are now gone forever....... The people who I truly loved most, the ones my dad got alone with, my dad doesn't like who's left as much as the ones who are gone.... I'm not close with the family that I have now. I'm the outcast and I know at least a couple who might be judging me for my decisions.... And all the people that are gone were the outcasts too...... my mom, the gay uncle who gave us the best times at the park, my.... great aunt?? I cant remember, but she was so sweet and lovable and cute and always took care of me when I fell as a kid, when she was gone, the house was gone thanks to her nasty daughter...... Then there's all the others who taught me how to play golf which is the closest thing I now have with my dad...... I'm pretty sure every single one is gone now......

I haven't seen any of them in I think over 10 years now..... sigh....... I wish I could go back and just see them all once more and give them all the biggest hug, I was just a kid back then and never got to tell them all goodbye....... I wish I could walk through our house again, play slapjack in the living room and watch the old VHS movies I'd bring every year...... I wish we could go looking for arrowheads again, and pet the horses or play horseshoes even..... listen to the heavy rains in the trailer. Or be huddled up close to everyone in the house as it hailed..... Listen to my grandpas stories again and pay better attention to them, I was the stupid child who always had headphones in while in the car so I didn't listen........or I wish I could play poker with him and my cousins again... I need to go visit him and grandma soon...... He can hardly talk or walk anymore so his stories are all with him now..... God damn.......

......There's just so much, my family was big and I took it for granted, I thought I'd have so much more time, and now it's not so much and it's going to be separated even more...... I just feel like I didn't get enough time with anyone...... I didn't get as many hugs as I wanted. And I know they are gone and there is nothing I can do.... but I wish there was...... just for a split moment even...... its just to hard for me not to think about them all...... I miss it all so much..... They need to come back.....

So hey..... that's where my head is..... I can probably keep going but this post is already long enough...... I am totally fine in the moment, but my past and my future have me in a turmoil in my mind.... there is to much I wish I could have back.... And to be with them again requires death, which I'm not quite ready for.....

I am pretty, I am strong, and everything is fine in the moment.... for the most part.. I'm gonna go cry for a while before work, then I'll pretend like I'm okay and put that fake smile on my face for the hours I am there. Then who knows..... Come home and cry some more in your arms. Or maybe I'll be okay, we shall see I guess...

I'm sorry this is such a long post. But I just needed to post something. And.... well.... this is it..... Thanks....

[ugh-supersoldiers]

You Saved Me Too

MASTERLIST

Summary: You saved Bucky without even knowing him, but little does he know that he’s done the exact same thing for you.

Characters: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Flashbacks of attempted suicide, tons o’ angst, sad!bucky :(, happy ending (not really a warning but yknow), SHIT EDITING IM SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES I WILL FIX THEM TOMORROW

Words: 2171

A/N: This is a song fic based off of Song #3 by Stone Sour (here’s the version I used), requested by the lovely @pommom91. I know the song is a little more rock than this fic, but I took a more soft approach to it and took a lot of inspiration from the acoustic version of the song instead I hope that’s alright :) Anyways, I really hope you like this and it’s at least somewhat close to what you were looking for xoxo

ALSO IF YOU GUYS LIKE THIS PLEASE REBLOG AND LIKE SO I CAN GET SOME MORE REQUESTS AND PROMPTS AND STUFF PLEEEAAAAASE

If you take a step towards me You will take my breath away So I'll keep you close and keep my secret safe No one else has ever loved me No one else has ever tried I never understood how much I could take

You stood on the bridge near your small apartment and gazed at the landscape in front of you. It was one of those sticky summer nights in July, your t-shirt clung to your back as a result, but you didn’t mind. You sipped the iced coffee in your hand, frowning slightly at the watered down taste. You’d gotten it nearly two hours ago, and the ice cubes had began to melt, making the espresso less intense.

C’est la vie, you thought with a shrug, choosing to enjoy your nightly walk instead of sulking over your drink. You listened to the sound of rushing water coming from below your feet as you began to walk across the bridge, on your way back home. 

You did this fairly often. You were new to the city, moving there as a result of a horrible break up and a desire to start over. You were in the process of picking up the pieces of your broken heart and figured New York was a darn good place to start.

You were contently listening to the sound of crickets chirping and then you saw him.

A man sat directly on the guard rail, his feet dangling dangerously over the edge. Normally, you might have assumed that it was just a teenager being egged on by their friends, but this was different. This was a full grown man slowly standing up from his sitting position, now standing facing in with his back to the churning river below.

This was a man about to jump.

Your heart thumped so loud in your chest that you barely even heard yourself cry out to him over the thudding in your ears.You dropped your coffee, rushing over to him, watching intensely as his eyes widened at your presence. A gasp escaped him, like the air had been ripped from his lungs, he must have not seen you before.

You stopped directly in front of him, the only thing separating the two of you was the metal guard rail. You examined the man in front of you, the scruff decorating his face, long brown hair being rustled by the wind, blue eyes filled with an emotion that you couldn’t quite place. Those were the eyes of a desperate man.

“Please don’t.” You said.

He looked at you quizzically, tilting his head to the side as if not understanding what’d you’d said. You glanced down at his hands holding on to the rail, and noted that one of them was made completely of metal.

“Jump,” You confirmed, “Please, please, don’t jump.”

“Wh-” He began, but closed his mouth. Perhaps he was at the same loss for words as you were.

“I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but I’m telling you that if you’re looking for any reason - at all - not to do this, that reason is the random girl who just so happened to be walking on the same bridge that you planned to jump off of.”

He blinked, his eyes scanning your face for something. He wanted to believe you so terribly, but he couldn’t shake the nightmares, he couldn’t ask for forgiveness for the things that he’d done. You watched his hands loosen on the rail and you reached forward, wrapping your arms firmly around his neck to stop him, the only thing between the two of you was the coolness of the railing.

He gasped, clearly very surprised by your affection.

“Give me 5 minutes more.” You said.

You took his silence as a cue to continue.

“My name is (Y/N),” You began, not even sure what you were supposed to say to this man, And when I was a kid I had a cat named Sparky and I loved him but he absolutely hated me so I have a ton of little scars from his scratches on my hands. When I was in high school everyone called me (Y/N/N), even though I hated it. My favourite colour is red because it reminds me of the flowers my grandma used to plant in her back yard when I was little. And I wholeheartedly believe that everything happens for a reason.” You finished rambling and took a breath, “Your turn.”

“What?” He asked, his voice gruff. No one had ever opened up to him about things like this before, and no one had even tried to ask him about himself.

“Your turn.” You repeated, your chin resting on his shoulder.

“My name-” He stopped, as if he was decided what he wanted to tell you, “My name is Bucky.”

“Okay, Bucky,” You said calmly, not daring to shift your arms but moving your head for that you could press your forehead against his, “Why are you out here?”

“It’s a bit of a long story.”

“I’ve got all night.”

And when he told you everything, your heart broke for him. Bucky Barnes - the Bucky Barnes - had taken your heart and crushed it with his own story. But you listened, and rubbed his back soothingly. Anything you could do to comfort him.

But the thing was, the whole time that Bucky was spewing out his sap story, as he put it, he was focusing on the feeling of your beating heart. It had been so long since another human being had extended any sort of compassion, and yet here you were, a woman who had no idea who he was now listening to every word out of his mouth and bracing him in his place so he wouldn’t jump.

“Have you told many other people about yourself?” You asked him.

“Well, it’s not exactly small talk.”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“What?” He asked.

“All those things you said probably won’t featured in the latest issue of Vogue. Your secrets are safe with me.”

Bucky didn’t understand why you were trying so hard to save someone so clearly helpless, all he knew was that it was working.

“Please come back over the rail.” You nearly begged.

Bucky’s limbs seemed to move on their own, one foot over the metal guard then the next. You never let go of him the whole time.

Once he was safely back over, you hugged him tighter than before, your eyes flushing with tears of relief.

“Thank you.” You said, “Thank you.”

Then I saw the worst was over When I laid my eyes on you It was all that I could do to know my place Out of all the vast illusions Out of all the dreams come true I was gone until I finally saw your face

If you cried out for more If you reached out for me I would run into the storm Just to keep you here with me I have gone beyond my years I've wasted half my life But I found it all in you Did I save you? 'Cause I know you saved me too

“Bucky!”

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake as the images of his latest nightmare clung under his hooded eyes. Lightning cracked beyond the windows of his flat, and he jumped slightly. The storm had triggered a myriad of horrors during sleep.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” You said, pulling him impossibly closer to you under the covers of his bed.

After the night on the bridge, you’d become a quintessential part of Bucky’s life. You only lived about a block from his place, so whenever Bucky had a nightmare, you were only a call away. This was one of those nights filled with a plethora of nightmares, one after the other after the other. He’d called you two nightmares ago, and you’d been there to wake him from the next one he’d had. You’d driven through the storm to get to him.

He’d never been so relieved to see your face as he always was when you were there to wake him from the images that haunted him during nightfall. His eyes would shoot open, hoping to God the worst of it all was over, and then he saw you and he felt safe again. If you were there, it was going to be alright.

He felt your hand gently cup his cheek, stroking his cheekbone gingerly. He sighed, trying to slow down his heartbeat. You lips pressed to his forehead and he keened at your touch.

“Thank you.” You whispered.

“For what?” He panted.

“For saving me.”

He nearly chocked on his own adam’s apple. Save you? You were very clearly the one that saved him that night. He wanted to ask you more, to ask you what you meant, but his eyelids were so heavy and the way you soothingly stroked his hair was slowly coaxing him back to sleep. His eyes closed, and he slept once again. 

It doesn't really matter what you do or say I'm never going anywhere anyway 'Cause when I'm dying for you I've never felt so alive

Bucky held the cup of coffee in his hands that you’d just poured for him and quietly thanked you for it. It’d now been about a year since you’d first met him, and Bucky was so in love with you that it physically pained him to think about. Everything you did was angelic, perfect even in his eyes. You made him feel like he was human again, which was something he hadn’t felt in nearly 70 years.

You were talking to him about something that, admittedly, he wasn’t really listening to. He was intent to just watch the way your eyes lit up about the subject, and how your nose crinkled when you laughed. It never really mattered what you were talking about, he just liked to hear your voice, it compelled him to want to stay with you forever.

You sat across from him, cross legged on the sofa as you talked to him like he were your oldest friend, holding nothing back. All he could think about was how he would do anything for you, and how crazy it was for him to think that you could ever feel anything like that towards him. He was damaged goods.

“Buck?” Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, “You still with me?”

“Wh- Oh, yeah sorry, musta spaced out.”

“Okay.” You said, but Bucky knew you well enough to know when you weren’t convinced.

“What did you mean when you said I saved you?” He blurted out, instantly regretting it when he saw the redness appear on your cheeks.

You stayed silent, clearly shocked by what he’d asked you, but after a few uncomfortable seconds, you began to speak.

“I meant what I said, Bucky. You saved me.”

“But how?” He asked.

“You gave me purpose.” You answered simply, “All I wanted to do since that night was be a part of your life, and it kept me going. Then I started to really get in that head of yours, and I realized that it wasn’t me wanting to help some stranger anymore, it was me-” You cut yourself off, looking down at your hands.

“(Y/N)?”

“Every time my phone rings in the middle of the night, I don’t even check the caller ID because I already know it’s you and I probably already have my hand on my keys reader to drive over.” You said, refusing to make eye contact, “I’ve gotten 10 speeding tickets since you started calling, I race over to your place because I care about you so much it’s like I’m totally blind to everything else when you’re on my mind. It reminded me of having a stupid crush on someone in high school.”

Bucky’s heart raced in his chest, he set his mug down on the table in front of him and leaned forward, waiting for you to say more.

“I realized that I’d been living a life without purpose for so long that it was so refreshing to have you. You make me feel so alive, Bucky and for that reason you saved me by helping me relearn how to love someone.” 

Bucky sucked in a breath, he couldn’t believe what you were saying. Was this an admission? 

“You showed me how to feel alive again, Buck.” You concluded, twiddling your thumbs in your lap, blushing even more than before.

He’d heard enough. He marched over to your side, plopped himself down next to you and tilted you chin to look up at him.

“I love you.” He said simply, watching your eyes grow wide at his words.

“Y-you-” He didn’t let you finish, his lips were already cutting you off. Kissing you with everything he had, he thanked God that fate had brought you to him that night, because at fault of that, you’d both found your reason to live. You’d both saved one another.

[platinumjeon]

Babygirl - Seokjin Smut (Rated M)

Anonymous said: Hello! Can I get a Jin smut, where you get kinda lonely as he always spends time with your 2 year old daughter, and he talks about her all the time. You don't say anything, bc you don't want to sound rude. You start to get insecure, bc you and Jin haven't been intimate since her birth. One day, Jin comes home early from practice (the daughter is at play group idk XD) and sees you crying. You open up about your insecurities adn he reminds you who his babygirl is heheheheeee... Thank you!

oh shit. i don’t know how this is gonna turn out. im nervous. oh god. this is gonna be under a read more because its long oops

warning: smut. smut. lil fluff. smut.

“Gah, isn’t she adorable?” 

Jin was sitting on the floor across from your two year old, handing her different toys that she would pick up and either chew on, throw, or hand them back to her daddy. Her little hands would grasp onto Jin’s fingers and she would try to pull Seokjin towards the princess barbie castle you had bought her for Christmas.

“Jinhee - hey, no, don’t put that in your mouth.” Jin said, gently taking the small plastic puzzle piece from his daughters hands. “You’re such a handful, but also such a cutie!” He’d say, hoisting the child up and tickling her so she giggled with happiness. 

You stood in the doorway, just observing your husband play with your daughter and her barbies. It was heart warming - and sweet, and adorable and everything in between. Although you didn’t want to admit it, though, its as if things between you and Jin had completely fizzled out. 

After having Jinhee - who was undoubtedly the light of your life - you felt unattractive, bored, and stressed. Life as a mom was everything you thought it would be: lots of happiness, laughter and admittedly, stress. But you never thought it would put a dent in yours and Jin’s intimacy. But instead of a dent, it’s as if it’s crashed completely and is unfix-able.

The next few days were the same. Jin got the baby up, dressed her for her play group, and packed a small bag to take with her for when her grandma picked her up later that day. You just sat in bed the entire time, playing with your phone. Seokjin was a good husband. He got your little girl up and ready for her group, and offered to do everything he possibly could when he was able. You almost felt like Jin would rather spend time with Jinhee than you.

The thought upset you so much that, when Jin came in carrying Jinhee to come say goodbye, you kissed your baby girl and hugged her tightly, but when Jin leaned forward to kiss you goodbye, you turned your head so his lips hit your cheek. He pulled back with a hurt look on his face, as if you had just betrayed him. Seokjin didn’t say anything though, and just picked Jinhee back up and walked out the door.

Hours passed by, and in a way you wished the day wouldn’t end so you didn’t have to deal with Jin cooing over your daughter again that night. You missed your husband. He was amazing and sweet but everything changed, and the fact that you and Jin hadn’t been intimate since Jinhee’s birth said a lot. 

With that thought, you crawled back into bed and let a tear slip, and then another. It’s not that you wished you never had Jinhee - oh, no. You just wished Jin knew how you felt. Lonely.

“Yeah. Thanks mom, I really appreciate it. Give Jinhee a kiss for me.” You heard Jin’s voice say as the sound of his shoes being kicked off echoed through the house. You stopped in your tracks, and pulled your sleeves over your hands to wipe away the tears that continued to roll down your cheeks. You heard him coming up the stairs and turned your back to the door so he wouldn’t see your puffy eyes.

“Hey, Y/N, I wanted to talk to you about - are you okay?” Jin asked as he opened the bedroom door and saw you just sitting there, trying not to look like you were just crying. Seokjin walked over to where you were sitting and staring out the window. He sat down next to you trying to peek at your face, but you continued to stare out the window and not look him in his eyes. 

“Y/N.” He said, pulling you by your shoulder to try and turn you towards him. Finally, you gave up and turned to your husband, who immediately saw your tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. “What’s going on, baby?” 

You scoffed at his choice of words before looking down at your hands. “I’m okay,” you said, trying to turn yourself towards the window again, but Jin wouldn’t have it. He grabbed your wrist and forced you to look straight at him, your back now facing the window you once looked out of.

“You’re not fine because you were crying. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” He said, softening his tone and now holding your hands in his and gently rubbing circles on your hand near your thumb. 

“I’m just - you’re so invested in Jinhee now. I love our little baby. So much, but ever since she was born we’ve done nothing. I feel unattractive and feel like my body is ruined, and I feel like now that Jinhee is here you’d just rather be a dad then a husband. Not that that’s a bad thing, because - well, Jin, she adores you. I just miss you.”

Jin looks surprised as he takes one of his hands from yours and wipes at your eyes. He turns his head and presses a kiss to your lips before gently pushing you down to lay on the bed, where his body hovers over yours. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I know I’m with Jinhee a lot, I just didn’t want to pressure you into anything if you weren’t up to it. I was going to talk to you about this, anyway.” Jin said, pressing another longer, more heated kiss to your lips. 

Without a response, you begin to kiss him back with even more passion. Maybe, finally, you could do this with Jin without thinking about -

“Seokjin -” you mumbled, pulling back from him. He wouldn’t let up and continued to kiss you as you tried to talk. “Where’s Jinhee? I need to go pick her -”

“She’s at my mom’s for the night,” he said, “tonight’s all for us.” His voice was raspy, but quiet as he began to kiss your neck. One hand was traveling up and down your body, squeezing one breast before moving onto your hips, and then to your thighs. You moaned into his mouth, slightly arching your back to give him better access to your neck and chest.

“Take this off,” he mumbled, tugging at your flower-patterned shirt. He grabbed the hem of his own shirt and swiftly pulled it over his head, where it landed next to your own shirt and bra on the floor. You admired his toned body - you’d seen him shirtless within the past few years but never in this light, and never in this tone of thought. 

He stopped for a moment to admire your own naked body, searching every inch of it before his eyes became dark and he leaned down to whisper, “This body, is not ruined.”

Seokjin’s mouth was warm as he began kissing from your neck to bottom of your stomach, his hands beginning to work at the button on your jeans before looking up at you with hooded eyes. With a grunt, he began to tug your jeans down your legs as you moved your feet to kick them off where they landed with a soft thud on the ground at the foot of the bed. Jin came back up to your face to kiss you again, this time his tongue swiping at your bottom lip to ask you to open your mouth, where you granted him the access he wanted. 

Breaking the kiss, without any warning Jin hooked a finger around the top of your underwear, and you internally cringed at yourself for not wearing a better pair. Pulling your underwear down your legs and discarding it where the jeans lay, immediately he pressed his lips to your clit and swirled his tongue around your most sensitive spot. You arched your back in surprise and pleasure as you threw your head back, moaning as he continued his quiet assault.

Jin flattened his tongue against your slit and licked a stripe to your clit, where he blew on the pink flesh before placing his finger against your slit and gently pushing in. “This okay?” Jin said as he watched your face as you arched your back again and opened your legs wider to accommodate his arm moving back and forth. Smirking, he puts his lips back on your clit before pumping his finger in and out of you before adding another digit, making you emit a loud moan. 

You could feel the heat rising in the pit of your stomach as if your insides were turning into knots. Breathing hitched, you reach down and grab a handful of Seokjin’s hair to gently push him to suck harder. He hums and the vibrations send shockwaves up your spine, making that knot in your stomach grow tighter as Jin continues to pump his fingers in and out of you, curling them and making your walls tighten around him.

Your legs began to shake as the orgasm was building up, and Jin knew to keep going. Right as you were about to tell him to go faster, he says, “Come for me, baby girl.” His raspy voice sent you over the edge, his tongue continuing his attack as you rode out your high.

Breath heavy, he removed his fingers and climbed back up to your face. You began to sit up for his turn, but his hand was pressed to your shoulder and pushing you back down before you could say anything. “Remember that tonight is about you.” He said, kissing you again so you couldn’t protest. Your hands worked at his belt before pushing his pants down his toned legs. Without thought, your fingers pulled his underwear down to reveal his dick and you bite your lip as it springs out against his lower stomach.

Immediately, you switch positions so he’s pressed flat against the bed, while you snake down and press your lips to his abs. You hear him make small moaning noises as you take your sweet time kissing every inch of his sinful body, while your hand gripped his dripping hard on, swiping away the precum that had collected at the slit with your thumb. He shifts his weight when you touch him, and he hisses when you finally put your mouth around his throbbing member.

His body twists and his hips gently thrust into your mouth as he lets out moan after moan, your warm mouth guiding him towards his own high. Your tongue swirls around the head of his dick before licking a strip down the shaft and going back up again to tongue the slit. Jin continues his thrusting, slowly pushing himself farther down your throat until you’re about to gag. The sounds he makes turns both of you on, almost a strangled moan, and you can tell by the pleasured look on his face that he was close. “I’m not gonna last-” he begins, and with one more hard suck you take his cock out of your mouth with a pop.

Seokjin peers down at you with an unrecognizable look on his face before grabbing your wrist and throwing you down on the bed, hovering over you as he leans down again to press a long, rough kiss to your lips before leaning up and gently aligning himself with your entrance. With a glance to your face, he could tell that you were anticipating feeling him - finally - and without anymore hesitation, he presses into you slowly to make sure you’re comfortable. He sighs with pleasure as you let out a loud moan, and he leans down to messily kiss you again.

Sweaty locks of hair tickle the side of your cheek as he begins to move and thrust inside of you, and you lock your legs around his lower waist as Jin decides to go faster. The only sound in the room is both of your ragged breathing, and Seokjin was barely be able to get out an, “Okay?” as his skin slaps against yours.

The knot in your stomach had grown to an unbelievable size and you were kissing Jin just as he hit the spot inside of you that made your toes curl up in ecstasy. “Fuck!” You yell into his mouth, and you notice through half-closed eyes that he was smirking as his hips slammed into your own harder and faster until you were shouting at the top of your lungs. Just as you were about to hit your high, Jin left out a breathy “fuck, Y/N,” before you felt his cock twitch and spill into you. 

The sight of his face twisted in utter pleasure sent you over the edge once again, white hot shock waves racing through you as you began to see spots in your vision. As you came down from your orgasm, the bed dipped slightly beside you as Jin lay next to you, arms behind his head. The two of you just lay there for a good five minutes until both of your orgasms have run their course and your breathing became regular.

Seokjin turned to you and put his arm around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. “You’ll always be my baby girl, you know that, right?” He said, a smirk playing on his lips and his chin in the crook of your neck. You smile, before turning over to kiss his lips once again. 

--

so that was fun um anyway can i go back to fluff now i think i just wrote the worst smut known to man goodnight

[jess-oh]

Reflection

I recently arrived in Chicago! And I was right. It didn’t fully hit me that I’m moving back to Chicago until I actually got to Chicago. And now I know. This is my life for the next 16 weeks. And I am glad that it is. I talked and bonded with Marlena today over pizza. I should ask to venmo her for the food tomorrow, if she has venmo. I also need to deposit the $100 from grandma. I know I should carry some cash on me but honestly, I think I would rest a lot better knowing that I have $550 in my account instead of $450. And I need to buy my two textbooks that I know I for sure need tomorrow and get everything else in order. I got to draw the month of September, design the new layouts, figure out when my meetings are, what needs to be done, etc etc. I have a lot to accomplish tomorrow. Oh! And I need to buy the two small rulers for myself and my sister. I can’t believe she never realized that I both stole and lost her ruler, HAHAHAHA. But I have most everything that I need to do written in my journal so hopefully that is enough. I still need to figure things out with Hangook and definitively decide whether or not I want to stay on board. Because even though “The Squad” is no longer a student organization, there’s still a lot to do and honestly, I’m a lot more passionate about that than Hangook. But I also don’t want Hangook to totally die because they lack leadership and keep putting all the pressure on their advisor instead of putting in the work themselves. But it is also not my job to do their dirty work and pick up the slack. It’s on them. I shouldn’t feel the need to step in and fix it. If I do everything, then they’ll never learn.

But back to Marlena! I didn’t really know what to expect or how to act but things have fallen back into place and I’m really glad that they have. Before, I think I was a lot more uncomfortable with talking about sex and drugs and alcohol and parties. But now, because of Andrew, I’m a lot more open to it. And I’m still not entirely sure whether that’s a good or bad thing. But it’s how it is now. I think it’s good in the sense that I’m more open minded but bad that I’m more prone to temptation now. I just gotta keep myself accountable! >:D But yeah, I was pretty worried that we wouldn’t be friends anymore since I’m come back to Christ and she leads such a worldly lifestyle. But I referenced my pastors and involvement at church and she was fine with it so, I think it’s okay. I just need to work on leading a more Christlike lifestyle so that she’ll hopefully be influenced by my passion and desire for the Lord and come back and meet Him for the first time. She’s my best friend out here so I do really care about her salvation. I need to decide on my Sunday plans as well. And go to Lakeview a few more times as well as check out the other churches that I’ve heard of. I do want to invest there but… I’m still not positive. It felt more like I was forcing myself to stay more than me actually wanting to. But I was also out of options. So, I’m hoping that I can commit to checking out these other churches and seeing if they’re a better fit. Hopefully. But I also feel like I betrayed Lakeview….who knows?

Oh man, it’s 1:12am here but only 11:12pm there. Or maybe it’s 1:12am there? I think it is. I don’t think my laptop has changed timezones. I was right. I just changed it. It is currently 3:15am here. So I guess it isn’t that surprising that I’m tired after all. I had so much fun with Andrew and David this past summer and now, I find myself constantly excited for him to message me. I don’t think this is a crush thing. I think it’s a stability thing. He was an integral part of me back in high school and I thought I lost that last year. But this summer showed me that I hadn’t. And sure, our dynamic has changed but he’s still my friend. I thought about it on the plane and I think we’re the type of friends that can just freely vent to each other. We can be mad together. We can cry together. We can laugh together. And even though we don’t have a lot of common interests, we’re still there for each other when it matters. I’m sure if we went to the same school it’d be different. But I am glad that he is my friend. He does mean a lot to me, at the end of the day. And I do wish we could’ve spent more time together before I left. I know he only brought sex up to tease me and purposefully make me feel uncomfortable at first but then it became a part of casual conversation and I was still really out of place and uncomfortable. But on the plane ride, I thought about my likes and dislikes sexually and how it could potentially affect my future relationships. I do think it’s a good conversation to have before marriage because what if we aren’t sexually compatible? I have thought a little bit about it before but never to this extent. So I guess I have Andrew to thank for bringing this topic up and making me more comfortable with it. But this has opened up the chance that I won’t be a virigin before marriage. Which is a commitment that I want to keep. Because I committed it to God. Not because it’s right or wrong. But I promised the Lord that I wouldn’t have sex until marriage so that’s what I intend to do. I don’t think I’m against BDSM(?) bondage, basically. Nothing to hardcore or extreme but I think I’m into that “scared and horny” feeling. But to an extent. But if, for example, my hands were chained above my head to the bed frame and I was vulnerable. I think I’d be extremely uncomfortable but also strangely aroused at my inability to do anything. But at the same time, I imagined a scenario where my significant other tried to pretend kidnap me and put me in that situation. I think I’d be waaaay turned off by that. The fear would far outweigh anything else. I would just want to get the heck out of there and leave. Even if I later found out it was all a plan, I would still feel way to terrified. Thinking for even a moment that I could’ve been actually kidnapped and/or raped from my own home. That. Is scary. But consensual? I’m open to the idea.

There was more that I wanted to write in my journal for my entry on the flight today but I really wanted to keep it clean and contained within one page so I didn’t add anything more. But I kind of wish that I did. Maybe while I type it, other things will come back to me.

Oh, back to Marlena though. Right when I got off of the plane, I saw McDonald’s and honestly, my heart kinda sank, knowing that I couldn’t stop by because I had to hurry to the Dwight because Marlena was tired. But I hurried to the baggage claim and irritatedly waited for my bag to come out. And honestly, I don’t know if I was just full of adrenaline or what but once I realized my bag was in front of me, I picked it up by the top handle with one hand like it was nothing and just hurriedly wheeled it to the subway. Everything went fine on the subway but I did realize that I forgot the order of the stops for the blue line. I kind of knew where everything was in relation to each other but my memory was still pretty cloudy. I totally forgot about Jackson. I knew it was Clark but forgot about Washington. But once it hit Monroe, I knew I was two stops away. But I couldn’t remember what was in between. Jackson! I even questioned if there was a stop between Monroe and LaSalle at one point. The stairs weren’t too bad this time and I kept hoping that I chose the exit closest to the Dwight. AND I DID. BUT THEN I FORGOT WHERE THE DWIGHT WAS. I started walking towards the University Center, remembering that the Dwight was nearby. But once I hit Dearborn, I knew I was going the wrong way. So then I google mapped it and honestly, it didn’t really help. But then I spotted the “Park” sign that I know all too well and found my way to the building. But before entering, I noticed that Subway was 24hrs! But I thought Marlena needed to rest more than my hunger so I just decided to go in. But after settling in, she offered to take me to Subway and I happily agreed. So then we went to the Sky Lounge and just talked about her mono and how she’s been dying in more ways than one recently while I ate my Subway sandwich. Then, we decided to order pizza. I was about to add toppings to half the pizza at first but then I asked if it’d be more expensive and immediately retracted. We decided to head to the first floor and talk there until our pizza came. And then we feasted once more in the sky lounge and continued to talk and make plans for the near future. Sounds like I’ll be doing a lot of heavy lifting tomorrow but she’s dying so, I don’t mind. And plus, she seemed to be genuinely asking for help instead of just expecting it like my mom and sister :/ And then we part ways and now I’m in my own room on this massive bed with no sheets or blankets. But I do have my body pillow and a normal pillow which is more than I could ever need, HAHAHA. I only have to sleep like this for a couple days! On September 2nd, I can move into my own dorm and finally unpack.

Now Im chatting with Andrew about photography ^_^