#im v sorry at how tired i am i will try harder the next time i draw josh i just really wanted to include him but

[moeblob]

Josh: I'm disappointed. Simon: Yeah, you disappointed Josh which is just cruel.

[lovelykei]

Haikyuu bf on insta pt.6 ‼️

Im finally here with hq bfs part 6!! This was requested by @eitadesu​ @wansseul​ and @nia-vsqz 

I had already done sakusa so please check my masterlist out! Anyways sorry for the wait I hope you enjoy these!

Atsumu:

“We are n o t climbing a mountain to take cute pictures tsumu”

“B but babe 🥺 it’s only a 1 hour hike🥺”

“I can’t take cute pictures iF IVE HIKED FOR 1 HOUR TSUMU”

That’s the story on how you found yourself at a beach at the crack of dawn😳

He had set up the camera and walked over to wrap his arms around you

“My baby is so pretty, even when you’re sleepy”

Atsumu is a master at sweet talking, he knows exactly what to say to make you feel better

So even though you were cranky about your lack of sleep you melted like putty in his arms🥺

He knew you were a bit camera shy so he always did his best to make you feel comfortable.

He never pushed you to pose but rather just held you close🥺

He really liked looking through the pictures and seeing you smile so whole heartedly at him

It made his heart go ✨🥰💓💕💗🧚🏻‍♂️✨💓🧚🏻💗💕🥰🧚‍♀️

So when you softly rubbed your nose with his in an Eskimo kiss he couldn’t help but wrap his arms tighter around you.

Atsumu wasn’t one to say thank you too often, he usually felt that he deserved getting praised bigegoassbitch😔

HoWEVER when he stood there with you in his arms he thanked all the gods and angels for letting him have you.

Maybe it was they way the light reflected on Atsumus features that made you heart beat like you were 16 again

Or maybe it was the way his eyes met yours and made you feel like the most important person in the world

Whatever it was, on an empty beach at 5:53 on a Saturday

you fell inlove with Miya Atsumu all over again💗

Semi :

First of all semi 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

Now that we got that out of the way- let’s begin-

Semi looks h o t playing the guitar, I mean he usually looks like a Greek god but with a guitar? Deadly.

You wanted to learn how to play too, and be a sexy queen/king

And it started, everyday he would sit down in the sofa with you either on his lap or right next to him

For 2 weeks he taught you all the easy basic chords like C G D Dm Am A E Em and so on

But you felt confident, you wanted to learn something harder

So this mf goes straight to bm and you realise your fingers are too short and there’s no way you could ever-

Anyways it takes you a while. It’s an awkward position for your fingers and it feels like your fingers simply don’t reach😔

Semi is v patient, he moves your fingers slowly and carefully

Kisses everytime you get it right🥰

After struggling with bm for about 1 hour semi decided to give you a break lmao

You guys got something to eat before getting back to business 😤

You set your phone up to record and say next to semi ready for your lesson🥵

He kissed your head before getting down to business 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗💗💗💗✨✨✨✨✨🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Anyways that’s the story of how you got a wholesome and soft picture with your boyfriend

Semi loved music and he loved you so being able to do music with you was his absolute favorite thing 🥺🥰✨

Shirabu :

It took a l o t of convincing to get shirabu to get couple stuff.

You wanted matching phone cases? Prepare a PowerPoint on the benefits.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have matching stuff and act like a couple

He’s just a bitch He just genuinely enjoyed teasing you😔

But sometimes when he’d been particularly harsh on you he would surprise you

Yesterday was one of those days when he accidentally went to far

He had said something along the lines of “I don’t need you to be able to play volleyball well” which wasn’t necessarily a lie but it still hurt you regardless

Which is why he decided to ✨make it up for you ✨

He showed up at your dorm after volleyball practice, usually you’d go watch him but since he can’t act right- 😤😤😤😤

N e ways he showed up with a bag in hand and you were like 👁👄👁

And he pulls out this matching couple pajamas

“Kenji 🥺🥺🥺” “I didn’t mean what I said yesterday or well..I don’t need you but at the very least it enhances my performance...slightly...or something”

This is the closest you’ll get to an apology so 😳

Anyways you both put your pajamas on and sit on the couch to watch something

“Actually lets take a pict-“ “no” “🥺🥺” “fine”

You couldn’t get him to smile tho but that’s just a minor inconvenience at this point

Right after you snapped the picture you squealed at how good looking your mans is

So you did the only thinkable..you threw yourself over him and started kissing his face

Kenjiro showing affection? 💀

Kenjiro receiving affection? 🥰

He wrapped his arms around your waist and melted like putty from your touch

He is a simp but make it low key 🥵

Anyways you end up having a sleepover in your dorm 🥺🥺✨

Suna is the Cuddliest!! Person!! Ever!!

Although he came off as a arrogant apathetic guy he truly was the sweetest person, he was just tired all the time

He was like a cat, you know how cats don’t fall asleep around strangers but then when they trust you the even sleep on their backs?

That’s suna 😳🐱🥺

Anyways considering this was your favorite activity, it wasn’t weird for suna to call you over when he got a new bed

He used to have a single bed so it was really small and you had to sleep on top of him

Not anymore tho 😤

You probably still will tho-

Anyways so he called you over to try out his new bed

Notlikethatyanasties

So as soon as you made it to his house he was waiting on you by the door

you both rushed to his room to wrap yourself under the soft covers

“Am I in heaven taro? This must be heaven?🥺” “there’s even angels here y/n”

“𝒮𝒾𝓇 𝓅𝓁𝓈🥺”

“Never said it was you” 🥴

“𝒮𝒾𝓇 𝓅𝓁𝓈😡”

This fkn boy is a bully but it’s okay he always kisses it better 😳

After he kissed it better 😤 you wanted to take a picture so you scooted closer to him and angled your phone

He smooched your cheek 🥺🥺💗💗💗

You couldn’t decide which bed you liked better, the new or the old one

What you did know however is that your number #1 favorite place would always be Taros arms 🥺💗

[myherogroundzero]

happier (dabi x reader)

A/N: this is like OOC but for a reason! it’s like, he wouldnt be OOC with other characters but you grew up with him so it was different, dont question it. i worksd really hard on this and im proud of it. i hope you all enjoy and YES i am all for that Touya/Dabi theory. it makes perfect sense (edit: i literally forgot to mention that i totally changed his backstory LMAO but i felt like this fit my story better sorry 🥺)

word count: 1.8k

warnings: i mean, heated kissing? angst, parental abuse (verbal, but not really mentioned)

•••••

I.

you held onto his hands, dancing around the playground while your parents fought and his mom just watched. that’s what the two of you did every time your parents argued the way they did. he helped you escape from the hatred you listened to everyday so you could feel that glimmer of hope that they always tried to take from you.

“feeling better, y/n?” his voice was kind and soft and his smile made your fears disappear.

“yes, Touya, thank you.”

you grinned at him before you stopped moving and gave him the biggest hug you’d ever given. he giggled as he hugged you back. even though the two of you were only four, him wrapping his arms around you made you feel safer. what could go wrong when you were in the arms of your best friend?

“of course. you look better when you’re happier!”

II.

“you’re always at work, you never spend time with us!”

“maybe that’s because i’m trying to earn money to take care of this family!”

a 10 year old should never have to endure this. tears welled up in your red, puffy eyes as you remember the latest fight your parents had. you couldn’t take the screams and abhorrence so you ran. you didn’t know where your feet were taking you until you stood, shaking and sobbing in front of the Todoroki household. you wiped at your eyes before hesitantly knocking on the door. you stared at your feet and played with the hem of your shirt as you waited for the door to open.

when you heard creaking, you looked up immediately. your watery eyes met with the soft grey ones of Touya’s mother, Rei. she bent over to wipe off your tear-stained cheeks, the gentleness of her touch making you melt.

“are they fighting again, love?”

when you opened your mouth to respond, the only thing that came out was the quiet, pained sobs that you’d been holding back. that had been answer enough for her, and she quickly ushered you into the house.

you sat in the kitchen with her, your legs crossed as you sipped the tea that she’d made specially for you. the two of you just talked until you calmed down a little bit. soft footsteps brought you away from your current conversation and to the entrance of the kitchen, where you were met with a tired looking Touya.

“y/n? is everything okay?” he yawned and rubbed his eyes as he spoke, his voice mellow despite his exhaustion. you got up and walked to him, giving him a hug without uttering a word. he, of course, hugged back.

“dance with me, Touya?”

he smiled softly before taking your hands and dancing with you, his mother as your audience. the two of you spun around as though you were the only people in the world. nothing else existed in that moment, just you and Touya and your dancing. a smile had replaced the heart wrenching look on your face. dancing with your best friend made things better, even when life seemed to have been falling apart before your very eyes.

“you know, you should smile more often. you look prettier when you’re happier.”

III.

15 was not your favourite age, to say the least. your parents never stopped arguing and it’d become even harder to deal with. when they spoke to you, it was always short and harsh. they made sure you knew they didn’t want you, and they didn’t want each other either. you sat upstairs in your room holding a pillow over your head to block out the incessant screams from the voices that once soothed you.

you were at your breaking point and you knew that. nothing seemed to make you happy anymore. you kept headphones in your ears turned up at max volume to tune out the fighting every single day. it was the only thing that made you feel anything anymore. the romanticisation of life in songs gave you spurious hope.

you supposed it was easy to idealise life when you were living, but you were only existing. you vividly remembered the day the life had left your eyes, even though you weren’t dead. you were no longer who you once were. you felt like you were overreacting with your emotions. your parents never hit you or anything. sure, they fought nonstop, but you had a roof over your head and food to eat and clothes to wear. what right did you have to be upset with your life?

you sighed quietly before getting your phone out and sending a text to Touya, asking if he’d be willing to come over. he always knew what to do and say when you got like this. your phone buzzed in your hand and you smiled at his speedy reply before reading that he’d be right over.

☆☆☆☆☆

you walked to your window after receiving Touya’s text that he was there. you opened it and smiled down at him.

“there’s a ladder on the side of the house,”

he gave you a thumbs up before going to retrieve the ladder. you giggled softly, turning to go sit on your bed while you awaited his return.

minutes later, you saw disheveled red hair crawling through your window. he looked at you and grinned, going over to sit next to you when he’d made it through. you wrapped your arms around his neck while his were secured around your waist. the warmth of the hug made a funny feeling erupt in your stomach. likewise, Touya’s heart was fluttering at your touch.

“Touya, will you dance with me?”

he stood up, pulling you close to his chest. your arms rested around his neck like they had when you were sitting. the two of you swayed slowly, a comfortable silence taking over as you just enjoyed each other’s presence. you relished the protectiveness of his embrace. he rested his head gently on top of yours, making your heart pound.

he stopped moving abruptly before pulling away slightly to look at your face. his eyes scanned over every perfect imperfection that made up your beautiful appearance. his brows furrowed and he bit his lip, deep in thought. his eyes stared directly into yours, making you squirm. you got nervous under his unwavering gaze, so you shifted your head and looked to the side.

he gently held your chin and moved your head back to its previous position before placing a loving kiss to your lips. you kissed back with more force, the neediness exposing how deprived of love the two of you really were. his grasp on your waist tightened and your hands found their way into his hair, pulling gently. his tongue slid over your lip and you opened your mouth to allow him access. you pressed into him as much as you possibly could, a soft moan escaping your lips.

in that moment, nothing and nobody else mattered. it was only the two of you pouring your hearts out to one another, holding onto each other tightly out of fear that you might never see each other again if you let go.

when you pulled away to breathe, Touya took the second to look you over again. when he looked at you he saw his whole life in your eyes. he fell in love with you when you two were kids, and that love has only grown stronger since then.

“y/n, i want to make you happier.”

IV.

you were now 19 years old and you hadn’t seen Touya in two years. he disappeared when he was 17, leaving you confused and brokenhearted. you’ve felt this emptiness ever since he left, like you were missing one half of your already damaged heart. you missed him. his smile, his laugh. you missed his lips and his hugs but most of all, you missed dancing with him.

you didn’t think you’d ever see him again, but you remained hopeful that maybe your paths would cross once again. at first everyone thought he’d been kidnapped. however, as you thought more and more about it, you had come to the conclusion that maybe he ran away. you knew how his father treated him and his siblings, even Rei. you wouldn’t blame him if running way was his only option, but why didn’t he tell you? or better yet, why didn’t he take you?

you laid on your bed, still trapped within the hate and anger of your parent’s house. all you could do was wonder if things would get better. you wish, above all things, that you could go back to when things were better, when you were happier.

V.

by 21, your parents had kicked you out and with no job or house, you had nowhere to go. so you sat on a bench near the very park you used to play at with Touya. the darkness of the night sky was making you drowsy. your eyes were fluttering closed when the shadow of a tall man blocked the moon from illuminating your figure. your eyes shot open and you looked up, your eyes being met with familiar blue ones on an unfamiliar face. there were stitches and burns all over him, his hair completely black.

he stared at you, not knowing what to do or say. you felt in your heart that you knew him, but you didn’t recognise him.

“Touya?”

his eyes welled up with tears for the first time in a long time.

“y/n.”

you covered your mouth to muffle the sound of your quiet cries before you stood up and hugged him. he hugged back tighter than he ever had before.

“Touya, what happened to you? why did you leave? you didn’t say a thing to me, you just left!”

“i know—“

“you could’ve at least told me!”

“i’m sorry—“

“i felt so lost, Touya, you left me alone.”

“y/n, please. i didn’t mean to hurt you.”

tears spilled like a waterfall, your gasps for air breaking his heart. he really had no intentions of hurting you.

“y/n, i truly am sor—“

you cut him off be smashing your lips against his. he stumbled back slightly before regaining his posture and kissing you back.

“i missed you so much, Touya.”

“i missed you too, love.”

you held onto him like you’d lose him again if you let go. he held you with just as much protectiveness and love. the two of you swayed slightly, the moon shining, illuminating your tear stained cheeks. finally, for the first time in five years, your life didn’t feel like it was slowly crumbling before you. you wouldn’t say you were happy per se. but the two of you dancing in the light of the gleaming moon brought you back to when you were younger.

as crazy as it sounds, you missed who you were back then, when the two of you were dancing through the angry voices of your parents. when you were dancing through the mess you called your lives. he brought you back to those times, though. he brought you back to when you were happier.

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[feel199x]

street racer!lee minho, gods of olympus! au

⚡ chapters: I II III IV V VI  masterlist

⚡  a/n: there’s like. So Much Sexual Tension that i didn’t intend and its not gonna go anywhere,,, im sorry but Minho’s hoe spirit possessed me while i wrote this chapter

⚡ warnings: sexual tension?? does that count??

⚡ song rec: angel of small death & the codeine scene

Minho hadn’t called you on the bus ride home, nor did he show up at your apartment the night. He didn’t call you the following nights either. He was, however making your life a fuck ton harder. For three full days, it had been pouring. The first day you had made the mistake of riding in the rain, figuring it would’ve cleared up by the afternoon. But it hadn’t. You had to get to an afternoon class, but you had no spare money to afford riding the bus every day to work. Being a broke college student was difficult, but not everyone could make their weight in money with illicit activities. You didn’t really mind the rain as long as you were inside. The pattering of raindrops against your window was comforting, and it helped calm your nerves as you studied, even if the person causing it was an asshole. You hadn’t blocked Minho’s number, not yet anyway, but figured that he had probably ghosted you anyway- so it didn’t matter.

Besides, you never paid much attention to boys, anyway. Your studies were more important to you, and you literally could not afford to lose the scholarships you busted your ass in high school to get. You knew college would be hard, but you had no idea it would be this difficult. None of these questions made sense- but you needed to study. You never struggled this much with Criminology concepts, but you found yourself rereading the same parts over and over, it wasn’t clicking. It was two am now, and you had a class at eight, ten, noon, and then a shift at the bakery- where you were filling in for a co-worker who had gotten sick. You weren’t even planning on falling asleep, but you woke up from your alarm, wiping drool from your lip as you got up.

This was just your life, it could be worse. You could be in a lot more debt, and your mental health could plummet- but it hadn’t, not yet. You knew if you kept pushing yourself like this than he would eventually crash and burn, but whatever. At least you would go out in a burning glory. You shook your head at the thought, mentally scolding yourself. Recovery didn’t work if you weren’t constantly checking yourself- as annoying as it was, it worked. You promised yourself and made a reminder on your phone to take a day off this week. You needed to relax, or next thing you know you would find yourself attached to your bed, glued to it with tears and a sweaty sadness.

You walked into the lecture hall, being the first one as you always were because you made it a point to actually ask for help. But the professor and his regular t.a wasn’t there.

“Are you lost?” He smiled and laughed as if you had said something funny. You grew anxious and insecure, it wouldn’t be the first time people had teased you like that. “No, not at all,” he said, “I’m the new teacher’s assistant.” You eyed him suspiciously, “What happened to the last one?” He pulled up his sleeves, and you felt embarrassed as he revealed his veiny arms. He twirled his pen and smiled again at you.

“He’s under a new teacher, now.”

“Who?”

“Mr. Park.”

“That’s a convenient answer.”

“It’s the convenient truth.”

“What’s your name?”

“Chan, darl-”

“Oh, fuck off.”

He crossed his arms, slightly surprised at your boldness. “Pardon?” You groaned, gripping your school supplies. “You’re one of those high and mighty gods, right? You and Minho can fuck right off.” He eased into the desk chair, chuckling to himself. “He’s already messed up, huh? I promised I wouldn’t interfere, but-”

“You also could’ve lied about your name.”

“Slip of the tongue. I doubt you wouldn’t figure it out, anyway.”

“What do you want?”

“To help.”

“With what? I’m done with Minho.”

“But you like him.”

“So? Doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole. I’m not here to teach him how to love, what kind of outdated shit is that? I don’t care that you’re a god, and I don’t care that he’s a god. Means fuck all to me.”

“Ah, you’re smart. Athena took well in creating you. But, it is fated. You’ll teach him one way or another.”

“Chan?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t give a shit.”

You probably could’ve reviewed the material with Chan, and maybe he was a nice guy- but you didn’t want to deal with anyone that was even slightly supernatural. You weren’t even going to look at your horoscope. You just wanted to graduated and take the bar exam, hell, maybe even try for a spot at a place with higher level cases. But one thing you were not about to do was about to do is let yourself slip into a game of cat and mouse, you were here to study. If you needed to take a break, you would- but “taking a break” didn’t mean worrying about a boy. If you wanted to worry, you would take the practice bar exam again.

You found the professor calling on you an absurd amount of times, and you shot Chan a death glare. He winked at you, a stupid smirk on his face and shrugged. You heard peers murmur, but Chan just looked amused, even winking at some of them. Were all gods like this? If Chan, the leader of the gods was this chaotic, how would you deal? Being the one you thought you’d like the most, you were severely disappointed. You flew out of your seat as the class ended, but found yourself caught in a sea of eager college students- you were so close to making your way out of the lecture hall doors when your professor called you.

“____, I’m sorry about being late this morning, but I had an incident with my car. I still have to solve the issue, but Chan can stay after. He said you were struggling with theory? I’ve provided a practice exam for you to Chan. Please don’t leave until you’ve got a passing grade.” He left unceremoniously, bidding a polite goodbye as he walked the both of you to a college library.

“I’m not struggling with theory.”

“You’ll start to. You have a bad habit of not knowing your limits.”

“Thanks, Sherlock.”

You sat a table in the back, a room reserved for group studies. “I have another class soon.”

“It’s taken care of, love. I’m going to get some coffee, please don’t go.”

You sighed, you had to finish the practice test after Chan explained the material, and it was unrealistic to think you’d be able to get to your second class. You could use a break anyway, it’s not like missing one creative writing class would kill you. Not physically anyway.

“Here you go,” he plopped a cup on the table, along with a pastry bag, “you should eat.”

“Are you actually going to help me study?”

“Sure, but I think we should talk about Minho first.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

He shut your textbook gently and pulled it away from you. “There’s a lot to talk about. I know Minho can be the worst, but there’s a lot more to him. I know it’s hard, but you’re going to have to trust me.” You wrapped your hands around the coffee cup, the warmth spreading to your hands. The rain was still pouring if it continued the town would flood. You didn’t understand why Minho was being so intense, maybe you shouldn’t have snapped but it wasn’t like he was a saint either.

“Why should I trust you?”

“I’m the one who sent him down here- well, with some pressure from the fates but still. I promise I’m the sanest up there, well second to Woojin.”

“Then why isn’t Woojin here?”

“He’s solving some other matters.”

“Like?”

“Ah, I can’t tell you that. But we’re moving away from the point. Just talk to Minho, honestly, once.”

“Already tried.”

“I know, but hopefully, I can help.”

“W-?”

Chan snapped his fingers, shooting you a somewhat apologetic look but turned to Minho looking smug. “What do you want?” You laughed, crossing your arms and leaning back into the cushioned seat. “Do you have something you want to say?” he snapped, “Oh wait, you already had your tantrum in the most expensive restaurant in town.” You knew better than to provoke Minho in this state, he knew what words that to use to hurt- and if he got any angrier, he would lose control. You weren’t laughing at him in the first place rather than yourself for getting into this situation. But whatever, Minho took it personally and even though you were tired of always being the bigger person- someone had to be. You didn’t even glare at him, you uncrossed your arms let them lay on top of your legs.

“Minho, be respectful.”

“Why are you even here? Fuck off.”

“I’m still your leader Minho, watch your tone. If you didn’t want to be found, you should’ve made an effort.”

Minho pulled away, sinking into the seat and tapped his fingers on the wooden table, settling to glare at you instead. “I thought you were letting me go back to Olympus.” You pulled your books into your lap, knuckles turning white from your grip. “I should go,” you nodded at Chan, “it was nice to meet you, Chan.” He shook his head, and as you tried to open the door, you found that it was just conveniently jammed. “Look, I don’t wanna do this but you guys need to talk it out,” he started, “And the sexual tension is killing me, Jesus.” You turned, taking your hand off of the knob. You let your bag fall to the side and slid back down to the seat, watching as the campus paths filled with large puddles of water. “Look, Minho, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. But you were flirting with a waiter, and not to mention you let me get arrested.”

“Is that seriously what this is about? What are you, five?”

“You’re not exactly known for being loyal, Minho.”

“You’re supposed to be a mediator!”

“I’m mediating you being a bitch boy.”

“I am not! That’s bold coming from someone-”

“Can I leave?” you didn’t mean to interrupt, okay you did- whatever Minho was about to say was probably something personal, “I have a class and I need to get there early.” Minho scoffed at you and you sighed.

“Okay, what? What’s your fucking problem?”

“I took you to the best restaurant in town, and you threw a tantrum.”

You laughed in disbelief, leaning over the table and looked at him.”The sexual tension is like, literally suffocating me,” Chan said loudly, “I’m still here, you know, I’m asphyxiating.” Both of you ignored him, breaths hitched with the attention fixated on each other, suddenly infatuated with the tension in the room. “You flirt because you’re insecure. You thought I’d get bored, so you tried to prove that you’re available, bitch boy.” You weren’t sure it came from, the compulsion that came over you. A ripple of surprise washed over, but he quickly retaliated. Minho’s face as he leaned forward, pushing you back. “You’re just scared you can’t handle me. True, you don’t wanna fix me- but you’re scared that you’re not as exciting as my past lovers.” You were staring at each other now, both of you hauntingly relaxed but maintaining an aura of intimidation around one another. “I don’t need to be exciting, you’re just obsessed with me because I put you in your well-deserved place. You’ve been kept in a bubble all this time. It just gives you the hots when someone doesn’t worship the ground you walk on.” He licked his lips and smiled, “Actually, I think you’re the one who needs to be put in place. You’re too arrogant. You need to learn that I’m god from Olympus, babe- I deserve to be worshipped.” You leaned closer, your breath hot on his face as he watched, lips millimeters away from his but you brushed your lips against his ear instead, whispering lowly as the hair on his neck rose, “Over my dead body, babe.”

He spoke again as you moved back to leave, his finger ran across your lip and you refused to give him the satisfaction of moving away. “If you think you’re so high and mighty then race me,” he tilted his head and brought his lips close to yours, “I mean, if you’re not scared, babe.” You placed your thumb on his chin, tilting it up. This wasn’t like you, but you’d be damned if he was going to win this little show-off. Your nose and forehead were pressed against his as you spoke lowly, “You’re the one who should be scared, babe.”

[redlipstickandthewinchesters]

Three Little Words

It’s been a while my SPN family, but I am back and hopefully will continue to write more for you guys! I appreciate your support and continuous love! This is my first smut piece and I hope you guys enjoy it! Also a MASSIVE shoutout to my wifey @snffbeebee for helping me with this a lot!!! 

Summary: Sam and Y/N have a very romantic afternoon together. 

Word Count: 2018, its a lot I know Im sorry. 

Warnings: SMUT, ADULT CONTENT, 18+, No Condoms were used in the making of this story

Please feel free to give me some feedback! I would love to continue to do more like this in the future! 

Running your hand down Sam’s back signaling to him that you needed him elsewhere, he got up from his seat and shut his laptop. He Immediately followed you down the hall and into your bedroom, a smirk pulling on his face , knowing exactly where this was heading. Once he shut the door you were on him, holding him against the door, kissing him hard. You felt confident and wanted to be the one in control tonight. You stripped him of his grey t-shirt and threw it across the room, not caring where it landed. Looking into those beautiful eyes, you removed your own t shirt, revealing your maroon laced bra, that you knew he loved. Seeing the smirk on his face grow, you shed your pants revealing the matching panties and his eyes were filled with complete lust, looking like he wanted to devour you. You gave him a devilish smirk, feeling that tonight was going to be a good night. You were going to show him what you were made of.

Grabbing onto your ass, motioning for you to jump up on him, and without hesitation, you did what he desired and wrapped your legs around his waist. He walked over to the bed, dropped you on to it, hovering over you with a grin plastered on his face. You loved it when he was the dominant one but you weren’t going to allow that tonight. You managed to flip him over so you were on top. He didn't fight when you pinned his arms down to his sides,  kissing on his lips, neck, and down his chest.  Letting your mouth explore his body, you reached to where his pants hugged his hips and you looked up at him with a smirk before licking a strip across the bare skin, which pulled a low almost growl like sound from his mouth. Feeling the hardness under his jeans, you decided to unbuckle them and pull them off. After tossing his jeans into the growing pile of clothes on the floor, you crawled back up him straddling his waist, lining your crotch up to his. Grinding your hips onto his throbbing member you moaned in pleasure, when you instantly found some relief of the pressure that had been building up between your legs. 

 Grabbing you by the waist, he pushed you down harder onto him, needing to feel some kind of friction which earned a soft moan from your lips. Feeling the heat rise inside you, you decided to take off your panties to feel him fully against you. While you removed your panties Sam took off his boxers, revealing his hard cock. Straddling his legs, you glanced up at him with a sly smile before you grabbed his swollen member, stroking it slowly up and down. Reaching down he took a hold of your breast, lightly twisting and squeezing, making the heat in core peak yet again.

“Are you gonna tease me all night? Or are you gonna put that pretty little mouth of yours to work?” Sam asked in between breaths.

You smirked at him, loving the reaction you were pulling from him.“I’ll get there when I am ready baby, just enjoy yourself.” 

You pumped your hand a few more times, then you leaned down and licked a long stripe up his throbbing member, making Sam buck his hips towards your mouth. You let out a moan, seeing how sexy he looked, sprawled out in front of you, trying hard to control himself. It sent a wave of excitement straight to your core, knowing that you could drive a man like him crazy, with little to no effort. Finally putting him in your mouth, you bobbed your head up and down in a steady rhythm. The noises that came from him were turning you on more and more by the second. You slid him out of your mouth with a pop and the next thing you knew he had you on your back.

He gazed at you with his dark lustful eyes and you knew what was going to happen. Wrapping your hand around the back of his neck, you pulled him down into a passionate kiss sending sparks through your body. Reaching up he grabbed your arms, pinning them down to the bed above you, earning a low moan from you. Kissing your lips, neck, and then he slowly worked his way down to your breasts. Your core was burning for the man on top of you and you had enough of his teasing. You ground your core against his, earning a moan from him. The anticipation was radiating  through you like a wildfire, waiting for him to touch you where you needed it the most. 

He scooted himself down your body, nipping at the skin above your dripping core, and you felt the smirk on his face as you shivered with need. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you watched him as he kissed your thighs. When he finally licked through your folds you let out a loud moan, finally getting what you wanted. You felt relief as he sucked and licked your clit, sending vibrations throughout your body.

“Sam,” you moaned out as he inserted two fingers into you. 

He pulled his mouth away from your soaked core to look up at you. 

“I love it when you say my name baby.” 

You bucked your hips as he pumped his fingers in and out of you quickly. You could feel the coil in you being wound up tighter and tighter as he roughly sucked on your swollen clit. When he felt your walls flutter he pulled away.

 “Not yet baby, wanna make you scream.” He whispered his voice just a bit rough and full of determination. 

You lowered your hand and grabbed his cock. Groaning in pleasure, he leaned down and you guided him towards your entrance. Not letting him enter you, rubbed his throbbing cock through your folds teasing not just him but yourself as well. You gasped as he gave a little push and entered you, pleasantly surprised at the size of him. You took a moment to adjust and then urged him on.

“Sam, move.” You whimpered.

He intertwined his hand with yours as he slowly thrusted in and bottomed out, his hips hitting yours. After a second, he started a steady but slow pattern in and out of you, kissing your lips passionately, adding to the slow burn. 

Needing more, you became too impatient for the slow pace and started to meet his thrusts. 

“Sam, fuck me. Hard.” You moaned onto his lips.

 He wasted no time picking up his pace and roughly pounding in and out of you. Your hands went into his hair, pulling the brown locks hard. Moaning, he sat up taking his body weight off of you and you groaned at the loss of contact. A he was on his knees slamming into you mercilessly, you took a moment to admire him and his body. All the bulging muscles, the tan he had, and just the fact you loved him with all your heart and soul. You sat up on your elbows and he grabbed you pulling you up to him, sitting you on his lap. Wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him as  close as possible, you felt him reach deeper inside of you, hitting your g-spot. He hit that sweet spot repeatedly making you shake from the pleasure he was giving you. 

Throwing your leg over his side, you flipped him over and onto his back. You slowly circled your hips setting an excruciating pace for the both of you. You leaned over to kiss him but he had other plans. He wrapped his arms around you thrusted into you hard and fast. Managing to hold yourself up on one arm, you let out a small scream. The burning inside of you grew hotter and hotter, each time he slammed into you. You were so close to letting go when he stopped thrusting into you. He wrapped his hand into your hair and pulled you down for a kiss. The kiss was messy, teeth clashing, tongues everywhere, but neither of you cared. You pulled away from the kiss and braced yourself on his chest. Slamming down on him, you circled your hips as fast as you could move them. Repeating this movement over and over again, Sam grew tired of the pace you set real quick as he knew he wasn’t going last much longer and he grabbed onto your hips hard enough to leave bruises. He slammed into you over and over again, feeling the coil in you about to burst you let out a string of moans.

 “Sam I’m so close,”Reaching his hand down to find and circle your clit, you couldn’t help but shutter at the new sensation. 

“Let go baby,” He edged you on, while his fingers kept doing their thing.

 Before you knew it your eyes practically rolled to the back of your head and he flipped you over not breaking his steady pace. You felt the force of the orgasm take over you as you clamped your legs down on him, not letting him move. The feeling of your walls clench around him, made him cum moments later with a loud grunt. After you both worked through your orgasms, he rolled off of you and onto his side, staring at you. 

  “What?” you questioned with a laugh.

    He gave you that cheeky smile of his, “I love you,”

 Your eyes went wide, when you heard those words. That was the first time he had confessed his love for you and it shocked you. You laid there for a minute and then finally came out of the shock,

   “I love you too.” You whispered.

He leaned down and kissed you passionately. After Sam got up to grab a washcloth, you cleaned up and got dressed in your underwear and one of Sam’s shirts. Sam grabbed a pair of sweatpants and put them on, letting them rest right below his v-lines. You whistled at him, with a smirk on your face

“Damn Sammy you look damn good in those.” 

Sam smiled and then came over to give you another kiss. Sam broke away looking at you with a smile,

 “ Have I ever told you how much I love it when you wear my shirts?” 

You smirked, “Yes actually, I think you’ve told me that you love it more when it’s laying on the floor.” 

Sam laughed and then sank himself back into the bed. He rolled over on top of you, ready for round two, when you heard a knock on the door. 

“What?” Sam yelled,  

“Can I come in? I think I’ve found something.” 

Dean’s voice came through the door.  Sam got up and unlocked the door with  a frustrated sigh.

“You couldn’t have waited?” He grumbled.

Dean gave him a shrug and smiled at you. “Well I would have but since I heard the noise die down, I figured I’d come and tell you now.”

You blushed and then laughed, “oh my god, why were you listening?”

“I wasn’t, but you my dear are a loud one.” He smirked.

You put your head in your hands, feeling your  cheeks go red from embarrassment.  Sam gave his brother a look and Dean laughed.

“So what did you find?” you asked.

Dean smirked, “Girls are being found outside of a local strip club drained of their blood.”

Sam ran his hand through his hair, “of course it had to be at a strip club.”

You chuckled at Dean, “If anyone has to dress up in a g-string, I call not it.” 

You got out of the bed and started towards the door stopping to kiss Sam softly

“Meet you at the car, love you.” 

“Love you too,” Sam said back to you and Dean’s eyes went wide. 

“Awe you guys. I knew you two were fucking, but I didn’t know you were in love.” 

You laughed and went towards to your room to pack for the case.

Tags: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @sprnaturallover @mspseudonymwho @supernaturalsammy01 @somilotopia @meganywinchester @polina-93 @supernaturalmagicfolk @jensenyourdeanisshowing

[kaitymccoy123]

Whiskey

Intro: So this is for @outside-the-government‘s birthday challenge!  Happy Birthday, love!  Hope it’s a great one!

My prompt was: “What I really need right now is for you to tell me to get my shit together.”

Pairing: Bones x reader

Word Count: 1,463 (shortish and sweet)

Summary: When you found out Leonard was leaving to go travel around space, you weren’t exactly thrilled, but you took it in stride.  But now that he is leaving next week, the tension starts to build and you really would rather not see him go.  Will you let your guts spill even knowing that he is leaving in a week?  

A/N: So I totally forgot about this challenge until yesterday (sorry Jules) and so I was hunting for ideas throughout the day.  Now, I preface this with the fact that I am currently obsessed with the In The Heights soundtrack (Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first musical) and have been watching videos of it on youtube.  My current favourite right now is “Champagne” and that’s where the idea for this fic comes from.  If you click on the link below you can see that I followed the general outline of the song, and even used some of the same lines because I thought it was that good.  But I didn’t think Leonard was much of a champagne drinker so that’s why this one is called “Whiskey”. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJhAtR5-KAs

If you’re confused why I used the line: “How do I get this black shit off?” - watch the video, you’ll see why. 

ALSO: I don’t know if half of the dialogue makes sense so excuse any mistakes or weird exchanges.  I’m really tired. 

-Enjoy!-

The paper bag in your hand crinkled as you made your way across the clinic, spotting Leonard across the busy room in his scrubs and white lab coat.   He looked up as you approached, giving you a small smile as he finished up talking with a nurse and turned to you. 

“Y/N?  What brings you to my neck of the woods?  I thought hospitals freaked you out.” 

You tipped your head, “They do, but I bought us a little present to share tonight for getting through our exams and thought I’d surprise you with a ride home.”

He hissed through his teeth before pursing his lips, “I’m sorry, Y/N, I still have patients to see, it’s going to be at least a couple of hours...”

“You’re usually done your day by now...” You looked at your watch.

“I know, but it’s been hell in here today, I just have to finish up a few things.”

“Can’t you get someone else to do it?  You’ve worked nearly every day this week.  You deserve a break.” You chastised, but your heart dropped when he shook his head. 

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.  I understand.” You suddenly felt the urge to cry as you stared into his oh-so-familiar hazel eyes and you started to back away, “I’ll see you back at my place later?  We can celebrate then.”

“Y/N, wait.  I didn’t mean to upset you.”  He took a couple steps to follow you in your retreat. 

You backed into the edge of a wheelchair that was parked along the wall and banged your elbow, but you waved off Leonard’s concerned posture, “Nah, I’m fine.” You gulped thickly, your voice wavering, “It’s fine, just ignore me...”

“I’m not going to ignore you.  What’s wrong?” His brows furrowed over the intense set to his gaze, but when there was a sudden cry across the clinic, his eyes flicked around the room before settling back on you. 

“It’s nothing, you’re busy.”

“C’mon.” Leonard huffed and suddenly you were being dragged down corridors until you reached his office and he lead you inside. 

When he closed the door he spun on you, not angry, but he seemed annoyed and it made you want to punch him. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He insisted, setting down his PADD and crossing his arms. 

You set the paper bag down on his desk and pulled out the bottle inside, “I got us a bottle of whiskey for tonight, your favourite.”

Leonard’s eyes widened and he stepped forward, taking the bottle from your hands, “This... this is... where did you get it from?”

“This guy on 62nd Street had it.  It may have been illegally imported, but it wasn’t a half-bad price.” You shrugged. 

“You couldn’t have got this just for the end of the semester, what’s the big occasion?” He asked as he started to work on the dark plastic wrapping around the neck of the bottle. 

You toed a the ground, “Well, like I said, we just finished exams, and you’ve worked so hard lately and...” You felt a lump grow in your throat, “You’re leaving next week.”

Leonard lowered the bottle, his fingers still working at the plastic, “Is this about me going to work on the Enterprise?”

Ignoring his question, you glanced at his fingers struggling with the plastic, “Do you need help with that?”

“How do you get this black shit off?” He mumbled, tearing at it harder.

You stepped closer to him, reaching into the pocket of his lab coat and pulling out a pair of scissors, handing them to him.  The sudden close proximity to him was dizzying so you stepped back and wrung your hands in front of you. 

After unwrapping the bottle, he inspected it before setting it down on the desk. 

“Thanks for the whiskey, darlin’, maybe we can share it later-”

“Don’t leave.”

He tilted his head, “What?”

“Sorry, ignore me, I didn’t say anything.” You blurted, your hands shaking so you tucked them into your armpits. 

“No, you did, and I’m not going to ignore you.  If this is about the Enterprise, may I remind you that you’re leaving too?”

“There is no ‘this’, Leonard, I’m fine.” You drew your fingers through the hair at the side of your head, unable to keep them still any longer, “And I am just being transferred one city over, not all the way up into god-damned space!”

“I don’t understand.  You said this was to celebrate.  You said you were happy that I got the job.”

It was impossible to meet his eyes, “I was.  But now?  To see you go?  I really.. I don’t... I’m gonna miss you, is all.” You tried to keep all the words that you wanted to say inside. 

“I’m going to miss you too, but we agreed to message and video chat.” He stepped closer, “And it’s not like I’m going to be gone forever.”

“It might as well be, because you’re going to go up there and make all these new friends and save all these lives and forget about little ol’ me.”

“What are you talking about?  I won’t forget about you.”

“Sure you won’t.” You huffed, trying to hide your impending tears behind your indignance. 

His hands landed on his thighs with a clap, “Why are you being like this?  What do you want me to do?  What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know.” You grumbled. 

He sighed, “Help me out here.  I’m not letting you leave until you talk to me.”

“God, Leonard!  Just let it go.  I’m all over the place right now.” You wiped furiously at a tear that snuck down your cheek, “What I need right now is for you to tell me to get my shit together.” You let out a watery laugh. 

“Just tell me what’s bothering you, I can help.” He insisted, and a look of hurt flashed across his features. 

“You don’t have to help everyone, Len.” You snapped, perching on the edge of the desk. 

“What are you trying to say?”

“You try to help everyone but you can’t, you can’t if you’re just going to desert them.” Your fingers curled around the edge of the desk as he stepped closer. 

“What are you trying to say?” He repeated. 

You pushed off from the desk, your arms flailing wildly as you spoke, “You can’t just barge into someone’s life with those big hazel eyes and that god-damned lion heart of yours only to leave.”

Leonard extended his fingers before curling them into tight fists, “I don’t know why you’re mad at me.”

A breath desperately escaped you and you pushed away the impending tears in your eyes as you looked up at him. 

“I wish I was mad.” You pushed off the desk to stalk towards the door but he blocked your path with outstretched hands.  

You huffed and started to turn away from him, but something stopped you. The brief look in his eye that you caught.  The confusion and annoyance, but there was something else there as well.  And god help you if it didn’t make your heart swell. 

All of your desire for him built up at that moment and nearly blinded you as you turned sharply to face him, tears perched on your lids.  He looked down at you with worry and concern, one of his arms absently reaching for you.  You looked down at it for a moment before stepping into him, placing a hand on either side of his jaw and crashing your lips to his. 

Leonard's hands quickly found your waist, curling his fingers into the fabric of your uniform, and you sighed into his mouth as you kissed him harder.  But it was when he stroked a hand through your hair that your brain finally snapped back into your skull.  

You pushed away from him, suddenly wanting his hands off you just as desperately as you had wanted them on you.  His features now held a desperate vulnerability, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.  Your mouth opened and closed with unsaid words and un-explainable feelings.

"I'm just too late." You whispered, pushing past him finally and stalking out the door, wondering if this was the last time you would ever see the man you loved. 

-Thanks for reading!  I hope you liked it!-

((OMG this is the shortest thing I’ve written in a while and I’m scrolling up and down and so amused by how short it is haha))

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[dreamin-of-somewhere-else]

The Secret [2]

Part 1

I got numerous requests to write a part 2 for this (which made me really happy), specifically for some Dean angst, and who am I to turn that down?

Characters: Winchester Brothers x sister!reader

Words: 2900 (I may have gotten a bit carried away, oops.)

[Angst, A bit of blood, Guilt] - But nothing too bad, I wouldn’t say.

Tags: @daughters-and-winsisters, @evyiione

A/N: Also, I just finished this, which might be a bit rushed, so sorry about any misspellings that I failed to notice. I just really wanted to get this up right now!

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Dean always knew Sam had a more complex way of seeing the world of monsters and supernatural creatures. Himself, Dean had adopted John’s more black and white way of thinking. It was just easier that way, because although he admired Sam for that sometimes, he could get annoyed too. It was just harder doing what they do if you chose to let the shades of grey in.

But, this situation was different. Because now it was personal. It was family. And that was the reason for Dean not doing anything about it. He was angry at himself for it, but he didn’t know what to do.

The door to the bunker opened with a creak, and then a heavy slam echoed through the building as it closed. The noise brought Dean out of his thoughts, and he instantly got off his bed to greet Sam, who was the only person it could be.

Even though Dean really liked the bunker, it had some disadvantages. One of them was that he couldn’t keep track of Sam as well as he used to. He had noticed that Sam was gone, but never when he left. Let’s just say it was a big change from the motel rooms.

Dean and Sam had moved into the bunker only days after they parted with you. And even though they moved, traces of you were everywhere. Your old pair of worn and dirty converse stood parked by the door, still, even though you never took them off there. Other stuff of yours — like books, sketch blocks, clothes, your old mp3 player — it was all left in a room you’d never been in. You never left it there. Sam and Dean brought them. Even though it had been over a month — they couldn’t cut you out of their lives. Not permanently. Not yet.

”Hey,” Dean acknowledged Sam as the younger walked down the stairs to the main, living room.

”Hi.”

That was a little stiff, maybe.

”So, what were you doing?” The blond Winchester then questioned, wondering what his little brother had been up to.

”Just… Just in town, checking it out.” Sam shrugged, walking past Dean through the large hall.

Dean did not believe that.

”Oh, come on, Sam. Where were you, really?”

”Why do you need to know?” Sam called out in response, while Dean started following him through the building.

”Why do you need to keep things from me?” Dean retorted, not giving in. He could sense when Sam wasn’t telling the whole truth after over two decades, closer to three, with the kid.

Sam didn’t answer.

”Is this about—” Dean had a hunch, and he decided to venture asking. ”—her? It is about (Y/N), isn’t it?”

Sam groaned as he came to a stop. Dean watched his shoulders rise and then lower down again, until Sam spun around to face his older brother.

”Might be.”

Dean groaned too now. ”Sam, she lied to us.” He still felt unbelievably betrayed, the single thought about it physically pained him.

”Yeah, and I understand her.” Sam spat, rocking an expression that screamed ’I’m freakin’ tired with your shit.’ The tired, disbelieving little smile shared similarities with the ’bitch face’, but this look was far more serious. ”You need to cut her some slack. It’s not her fault she isn’t like us.”

”But she pretended like nothing was wrong for years. She could’ve just told us from the beginning!” Dean defended himself, eyes round and accusingly staring at Sam.

”Sure, but what’s done is done. She’s the one who’s out there, alone!” Sam argued, his arms spreading out wide as he spoke, frustration with the situation showing through his body language.

”Sam, she’s a kitsune. We’re supposed to hunt those.” Dean tried to justify his actions, even though he wasn’t entirely happy with the way he had handled the situation.

”How long will it take for you to realize? Yes, she’s not human. Yes, she’s a supernatural creature. But Dean, for god’s sake, get over it!”

Dean blinked.

”Dean, we are hunters. Hunters are taught to hunt supernatural things, right?” He didn’t give his brother time to answer, because Dean already knew. ”Well, that means others are going to hunt her down sooner or later.”

Dean was taken back. He surely hadn’t thought of that. He had considered you being a danger, but not in danger.

”I’ve been out trying to find her, okay?” Sam continued. ”And I suggest you make up your mind if you want to see her again, before someone finds her and kills her. Because you know very well that it can happen.”

The oldest struggled to process the new piece of knowledge as guilt started to wash over him, even more than before. He shook his head to himself, running his hands through his hair. For you to get slaughtered by hunters was not what he wanted.

”Dean, it’s still her.” Sam now spoke in a softer voice. Dean already understood. ”The girl we know, the girl who lived with us, the girl in your memories. Since she didn’t tell us for years and she’s been a kitsune all that time — it proves that it doesn’t matter. She’s still herself, the same as she’s always been — we just know more about her. And you know how bad it’s out there. If we can hunt kitsunes without a problem, so can others.”

A moment of silence passed.

”I’ve screwed things up haven’t I?” Dean then muttered, both to Sam and to himself. ”I’ve just made it much worse that it has to be.”

”I understand, I felt betrayed too. Who would have thought (Y/N) was a supernatural creature. (Y/N), of all people.” Sam let out a humorless laugh. ”But, the world is complicated. There’s shades of grey everywhere. I know you see things the way Dad taught you, I do too at times, but we need to believe in what we see, not what he said. Supernatural doesn’t equal bad.”

Dean nodded. ”We need to fix this, Sam. I mean, I don’t know if we ever can fix things between us… B-but, we should keep her safe, at least. You’re right, and I’m with you.”

Dean hurried after the silhouette in front of him. It was one month later, and Dean could have sworn it was you. He and Sam had searched, what it felt like, every inch, and then you just appear out of nowhere. Well, if it was you, Dean wasn’t completely sure. But, he wasn’t letting go until he was.

The young woman in front of him shot a look over her shoulder, and Dean quickly hid himself against the closest wall, invisible in the darkness of the alley.

Then, she looked forward again and hurried on, and Dean followed. He knew now. It was you, he could tell by the hair, the clothes, the silhouette and the facial structure all together. It was just scraps and pieces, he couldn’t see well through the darkness of the alley. But, it was enough.

So, he picked up the tempo, to catch you before you exited the alley, disappearing around the corner, possibly gone forever. This might be Dean’s only shot and he wasn’t going to mess it up. Not like he messed it up the last time you saw each other.

Dean’s steps got louder, heavier, and you noticed it. You walked faster. Dean was running. You weren’t — you were too tired. Dean caught up with you, and placed his hand on your shoulder and spun you around.

He was in for a rollercoaster of emotions.

First he was felt indescribable relief. It was actually you, his hand was on your shoulder. At last, after days where Dean didn’t even think of anything else than that he might never see you again.

The next emotion was uneasiness, once he saw your eyes that stared back at him, open wide. They were still the same, beautiful color, but the pupils were different. They were outstretched, like a cat’s — or a fox’s. A lump formed in Dean’s stomach and it took everything he had not to flinch.

The uneasiness intensified and transformed into worry once he saw your hands. They were covered in dark crimson. Drying blood — everywhere. Dean found himself wishing badly that you hadn’t hurt anyone. Although it didn’t seem like you, Dean didn’t know for sure, this was new territory for him.

But the worry transformed into fear, after he intuitionally lifted your jacket — to reveal a huge bloodstain on your shirt. He immediately grabbed your upper arms with both hands, as if he was scared you would collapse any moment.

”(Y/N)?” He asked, voice trembling and his eyes pooling with concern. His eyes wandered off the bloodied shirt, and came to a stop by the gaping whole in the fabric over your chest. Underneath a nasty wound showed itself, digging deep into your ribcage.  

”Dean?” Your voice was filled with disbelief. You were more focused on Dean being back than your own state.

”You bet.” Dean smiled just a little but it reached nowhere near his eyes. ”(Y/N), you’re hurt, I—”

”I-I know. It was a… close call.” You interrupted, panting. ”If it wasn’t for the fighting skills you taught me… I p-probably wouldn’t be standing here. So thanks for that.” Your voice wasn’t angry but it wasn’t happy either. It was lacking most traces of emotion.

”Can I do something—”

”No, it’ll heal… Just hurts right now.” You interrupted once again.

”Was… Was it hunters?” Dean was scared to ask. He hoped with all his heart that it wasn’t. That Sam wasn’t right about you being in constant, serious, danger.

”Three of them.” You spoke, looking at Dean with a blank expression.

Dean shook his head to himself, anger and guilt welling up inside. He felt a burning desire to find those sons of bitches and make them pay for this.

An awkward silence fell over you two, and you raised your eyebrows at how Dean still seemed unsure and uneasy. His glance was wobbly and hands slightly trembling.

”What?”

”Your eyes…” Dean murmured.

You instantly took your gaze away from him and stared down at the asphalt. You hadn’t even noticed your eyes, probably because the pain in your chest overtook everything.

”Why are you here?” You then asked. By the way he had acted the last time you saw each other, that night on the hunt, you had expected to never see him again.

He had told you that he killed those like you, and now, here he was wondering about the bloodstains on your shirt that those like him had caused.

”I’m so sorry.” He blurted out, his voice cracking. You lifted your gaze to look at him, and saw the pain radiating from his eyes. ”I’m so, so, sorry.”

Too surprised to speak, you remained quiet.

”I messed everything up.” Dean drew an unsteady breath. ”You’re our family. And it shouldn’t have taken me 2 months and Sam yelling at me to realize that.”

You nodded, lost for words, still.

”W-what you are… We can work around it. You’re still you. A-and I don’t want you out on your own, where hunters can get to you.”

You let out a weak, humorless laugh. ”Me neither.”

”I’m so sorry. I-I wish I could take it back, what I said.”

You nodded. It was quiet for a moment before you spoke up.

”You and Sam— You kinda… are my only family.” You fumbled with your words. ”Well — I don’t have any real family, but…”

”No, (Y/N), Sam and I are your real family. If you still want us to be.” Dean offered tentatively, although his eyes pleadingly screamed for you to please let them be your family.

You nodded. ”Yeah… I-I would like that.” The corners of your lips curled into a small smile.

”Thank you.”

”You don’t have to thank me.” You objected, slightly frowning.

”I do.” Dean assured you. ”This is all my fault, and I don’t deserve—”

”Hey, Dean!” You stopped him. ”Don’t guilt yourself to death, okay?”

Dean closed his mouth and nodded.

”I forgive you.”

”You do?” He asked in disbelief.

”I do. Now, where’s Sam?” You then questioned, changing the topic.

As on queue, Dean’s cellphone rang.

”Speaking of the devil.” He declared, with the trace of a smirk on his face. You felt a some of the weight on your shoulders lift when you saw it — it made Dean looked more like his usual self — something you didn’t even know you wanted to see. ”Hiya, Sammy.” Dean answered the phone.

You were quiet while Dean talked to Sam. You had good hearing, better than both of them knew, but you didn’t bother listening in on the conversation. Instead you just took in the moment.

It had gotten considerably darker since Dean found you, the last of the sunlight had settled below the horizon. It was pretty quiet, although you could hear a car somewhere in the distance. A couple talking as they walked down the street the alley you stood in eventually opened up to. You kept your eyes on the opening between the tall buildings as you waited for the two to walk into your view as you heard their voices growing louder. But instead — someone else stepped into the opening of the alley. Someone far better.

”Sam,” you whispered as your eyes met with his hazel ones. Meanwhile, he lowered the phone and hung up.

”(Y/N)!” He exclaimed as relief filled his eyes, although concern soon fought it off.

He started running towards you.

”Are you hurt?” Sam’s voice was stressed, trembling, as he stared at the blood.

”I’m going to be fine.” You smiled. You were so happy to see him — to see them both. The resentment you felt towards Dean when he showed up had melted off you. You were tired of being angry. Instead, you let the euphoria overtake you.

The relief returned to Sam’s eyes, and he became the representation of how you were feeling. He let out a laugh as he threw his arms around you, and clutched you tightly against his chest. You held in a groan as your wounds still hurt a bit, but you didn’t want him to let you go — not for the world.

Dean watched with admiration in his eyes. His brother and his sister, reunited. Two of the people Dean kept closest to his heart.

”I’m so sorry.” Sam spoke, and you felt his voice rumble through his chest. ”Oh god, I thought for sure someone had gotten to you…”

”Sam, it’s okay.” You reassured him. ”I forgive you, and even if someone tried — I can assure you that I’m not easy to kill. Promise.”

”Okay,” Sam nodded, and let out a deep breath. You felt his heartbeat slow down to a more normal, calm, rate. ”I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”

Then he let you go, and you looked over at Dean, who was watching over you with round, soulful green eyes. You couldn’t stop yourself, before you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his upper body.

After hugging him for a moment, you stepped back. ”I’m sorry I lied for years.”

”We’re sorry for what we said and leaving you.” Sam countered.

”What about we just forget it?” Dean offered, and both you and Sam nodded. ”Let’s go home, instead.”

You rose your eyebrows, the way Dean said home got you curious, as if there was something you had missed.

”We have something to show you.” Dean explained, anticipation in his eyes, and you smiled.

What could it be?

Arriving at the bunker, you felt the excitement grow inside of you. An actual home. Dean and Sam watched your reaction with smiles on their faces.

Now, you would have walked around and explored the building — if you weren’t exhausted. It had been a long day — heck, months — and the run in with the hunters that came after you had taken a toll on you. Sure, you were a kitsune, more powerful than any human, but your body had used up most of its energy healing itself. And now, you were ready to turn in for the night.

Sam and Dean saw this, and understood. So, Dean looped his arm through yours and began leading you towards his room. You would soon get your own room, of course, the bunker had a lot of space, but for now his and Sam’s were the only ones with made beds, so for the night, it would have to do.

Entering the room, you immediately crashed down onto the bed, and Dean gently pulled the covers  over you. You flipped over to your stomach and instinctively pulled the blankets over you head, snuggling into the bedding, just like you always did.

Just as Dean thought you were out, you spoke up. ”I love you, Dean.”

Dean felt how your words tugged at his heartstrings. ”I love you too, (Y/N).”

He smiled and ran a hand over your hair.

You shifted a bit, and snuggled in further under the covers. ”Tell Sammy I love him too.” You added, mumbling. Then, you nodded off into sleep.

Of course Dean would tell Sam that, because just like Dean, Sam probably needed to hear it again.

And even though Dean still kind of felt like he didn’t deserve it, he was beyond happy to hear you say it; that you loved him. Because, he loved you too.

[morethanabarcode-blog]

"Beep!" ~Noct @saviorofeosconsort

A final text@saviorofeosconsort

( ‘ v ‘ What was that about pushing him off trains, eh??~

For context, this is going to be during the 10 year gap. And it is going to heavily diverge from canon. Because of potentially triggering content, it is going under a Read More.)

Years were hard to keep track of…once the sun had all but disappeared. Everything was getting harder. More people dying, people just going missing…or worse. Supplies were few and far between, and all in all…it was a complete and utter shit show.

Nothing had gotten better in the…what.. four years that Noctis had been gone? He was starting to lose track. Everything seemed just like a long, agonizing blur the more days that past. The gunner had hoped he’d become more reassured the more time that passed. He’d promised himself that he was going to do what he felt was right. What he wanted out of life.

But the loss of his best friend to the crystals’ will had all but shattered any sort of hope he could have had.

The first year had been…a struggle, to say the least. The group had tried to stay together, they honestly had. But without Noctis there to keep the three men together, it had all but fallen apart. Gladiolus was still just as irritable, if not more. Ignis…well, he was quiet. Not that he wasn’t before hand, but more so. After all, the one person they were in charge of had just up and vanished. With no telling when he’d return.

Or if he’d return.

It had taken Prompto most of that first year to try and get things calmed down. To try and even out the situation as best as he could, but there were priorities to take into consideration.

Gladiolus wanted to be there for his sister. She had started going out and helping in hunts, and the man was damned if he was gonna lose another person. So where she went, he would follow. And they made a good duo, the blond had to admit. Iris had really come into her own.

Ignis was a different matter. There were things; things that frankly Prompto couldn’t begin to understand, that Lestallum needed help with. And the former adviser was the best suited for the job. He had no complaints about this, and if he did…he definitely would never voice them. It was what Ignis wanted to do, and honestly Prompto was just glad it would keep the other safe.

Around that time, the blond had decided that his place was in Hammerhead. There were people who needed help, and he needed something to take away the endless time he had to think. …Because the more he thought about the situation, the more it hurt.

And it’d worked for some time.

Over the next three years, all he did was work. Work to keep his mind off of how much he wished things hadn’t gone to shit. Hell, he’d even tried to actually ask Cindy out. Not that it worked out, or anything. But he’d taken the rejection in stride and put his nose to the grind stone helping in the garage.

But the silence had slowly started to creep back in…

There was more time for him to think, once he’d hit the four year mark. Four years of waiting, and Prompto was sold on the idea that he just…wasn’t going to see his friend ever again.

Hell, he had only seen Gladiolus and Ignis enough times to count on one hand over the years. And he’d gotten…a hell of a lot lonelier as the clock kept ticking. He knew Cindy could see the change, the way she hung around more to keep an eye on him. Like she knew his light was about to putter out.

And putter out it had…

Today of all days. It had to be some sort of joke, honestly. If he could bring up the energy to even laugh. The day the two had become such fast friends. Of course Prompto would remember it, the very day he’d made his first friend. He used to bring Noctis the dumbest gifts on that day…

…This day, it was his gun keeping him company. He felt cowardly, looking down at the very thing that had been a gift…a birthday gift of all things. It felt wrong to be thinking what he was thinking right now with this on his lap. Weighing him down as he contemplated his next move. He was just so tired of the ache in his chest… Tired of the constant fight, of struggling for supplies. Watching time and time again as daemons would kill people, and no one blinked an eye anymore. Tired of missing his friends so damned much, but the ones that were there were always gone. Tired of the nightmares of torture that plagued him every night. …And the one that wasn’t, the blond didn’t know if he’d ever come back.

Letting out a shaky sigh, he ran a hand through his hair as he struggled for the right thing to do.

Prompto knew the answer wasn’t what was on his lap…he knew this and yet…here he was. Staring down at it.

Looking to his side, he picked up his phone and looked over the text messages…all old. Nothing new. Most of them sent by himself. Something heavy sank in his heart before he pressed against Noctis’ messages on his screen.

[Text: Noct] hey buddy…

[Text: Noct] i know its been a long time since i texted…hell. im not sure you even get texts where ever you are…

[Text: Noct] but i wanted to let you know that its that day again. the day id finally worked up that courage to talk to you… yeah yeah, i know, stupid sappy prompto. but that day meant a lot to me…

[Text: Noct] sorry to say that today i dont have a present for you…much like the last couple of years. in fact…what im about to do is probably the worst thing i could do to date

[Text: Noct] i wanted to talk to someone…anyone, even if i know you wont answer. but hey, at least you have an excuse right? being stuck in a crystal and all.

[Text: Noct] im sorry…

[Text: Noct] im sorry that i couldnt hold out until you came back

[Text: Noct] im sorry that im the worst best friend you could have asked for

[Text: Noct] im so…so so sorry that im so damned weak that i couldnt handle losing you and not knowing if youd come back

[Text: Noct] im sorry for doubting if you would. fuck am i gonna look stupid when you do come back…but i guess i wont be there to realize it

[Text: Noct] buddy…when you come back…can you tell them im sorry too? i know im going to let them down too… i..i didn’t stay in hammerhead either. i didn’t want cindy and talcot seein’ something like that.

[Text: Noct] more importantly…give him hell…

[Text: Noct] i know i couldnt say this much when you were around…probably shouldnt have said it since you and luna were expected to be a thing.

[Text: Noct] but i love you dude…with all my stupid little heart.

[Text: Noct] and i better not see you on the other side too damn soon…

[Text: Noct] …im sorry i couldn’t keep my promise to be by your side always…

[Text: Noct] you’re going to be a great king…

[hardwarevent]

The Ongoing Struggle

So right now there's this anxiety in me. I can't seem to shake it. I haven't been able to shake it since I went on this trip to England. Not only am I jetlagged to hell, which means most moments it takes a lot of my focus just to stay conscious, but every waking moment has this feeling of anxiety. I guess it boils down to the fact that I missed this one big July 4th party at C's house, because I was in England. The thing is though, I don't think if I was in the US at the time that I even would have gone? Or wanted to go? It's the fact that there even was this party is what irks me. And I've been trying to pick these feelings apart, but it's all so... like... jumbled? It's weird. Lemme pick apart these feelings. So one thing I'm annoyed at is C. But that's nothing new. This isn't even a logical fucking annoyance, it's just me being annoyed at their existence. It's me having to look at those stupid fucking pictures in the telegram group about them and their stupid mousy boyfriend that they dress up like him now and I feel like the only one who notices that? Like they couldn't figure out how to be as gay as humanly possible to distance themselves from me so they just took a big chunk out of the style out of the other gayest person that they're dating?  And M is next to them too because I guess he's trying to get some of that too now. But then like what about V? Like she's okay with this? What the fuck is going on there? Is she just feeling sorry for M because he still hasn't gotten a job? I guess their good mutual friend is trying to arrange something too. Like is this what my life is now, just watching everyone else arrange having sex with everybody else's significant other. It's crazy. Like, when I get a girlfriend, I hope to god she's not the sharing type, cuz I wouldn't want to share, and I hope she doesn't want to share me, even. I guess the one experience I had put me off so fucking much from that. But like, when I try to put these feelings into words, I realize that there's a logical part of my brain being like "why are you upset about this? C isn't your gf anymore, you broke up with them, and what M and V and C do is none of your fucking business anymore." And it's right. But I can't help but feel the way I feel. These twisted knots in my stomach. The constant background hum of anxiety. Why am I still such a wreck? I did everything right, I thought. I followed what I logically thought I should do. I'm still sad. I'm still annoyed and hurt by all this shit that I should have moved on from by now. I'm so fucked up, man. I've been thinking about just not being in those telegram chats anymore. I don't enjoy them. Every time I go in I dread seeing something I don't want to see. Like some dudes dick. Or talking about dicks. Or gay shit. I realized that I go in, I flip through so I can see if something upset me, I get upset, I flip past all the other shit that I don't care about, and I leave. It's torture now. Anything that C or M is tied to makes me anxious now. I don't want to see it. I want to move on. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I want to leave those chats. Should I just stop going, or leave altogether? Maybe I'll try just not going. You know what's funny? I'm in England right now, spending time with all my family, but... this stupid shit is all that sticks in my mind. What am I doing. You know, my mom and stepdad have asked about a new girlfriend once or twice. Luckily the conversations move so fast I don't let the questions stick. But I want to tell them this story. I really want to hear their opinion. I need to tell someone, anyone, who isn't in that circle. Someone that might understand... I'm tired. It's like 3am. I was gonna go online and fucking torture myself, but luckily my grandparents turn off the router at night, which is something I never thought about. So I'm gonna just pop all this in a note and put it up later. Man, what an adventure this past year has been... Facebook gave me a 1 year anniversary of the mount Diablo trip recently. I remember that trip. We were all super happy, there was great chemistry between all of us. V slapped my ass because we all thought it was funny but it was like flirty, which was fun, and I liked it. And then we arranged the couples thing. And then that's about when things started to fall apart. And then I had this really emotionally shitty past 9 or so months. Which was fun. I... um... I should see.... a therapist? Maybe? Because I feel like this whole thing really has fucked me up. Now when I see or hear or think about orgies or 3somes or even a lot of normal sex, it just really puts me off. I feel like that stuff causes anxiety at a subconscious level now because of all this shit. It's wild. Human psychology is wild. So now I'm where I am now, which may or may not be a good place. I... well like, alright, let's throw down a fucking list. Things I have going for me- -like 2 whole supportive families that love and care for me -a solid job -no college debt/a car/a fair amount of cash/good monetary situation - Ok apartment -friends, I guess? -free time Things that suck- -might end up having to cut ties with a lot of those friends ->tfw no gf -im like 26 now, so harder to get gf That pretty much boils down the whole thing. My whole life boiled down to a few bullet points. I like how at this point, my brain connects the dots after reading those points like "hear me out, me. What if, get this, what if we use the good monetary situation, to help the bad points in your life? What if, bear with me, you use all that money that isn't making you happy, and use it on stuff that makes you happy, or makes you more attractive? Get a good haircut. Get some nice clothes. Who gives a shit if it costs 1000, 2000 dollars? Shrouds don't have pockets, and it's only money. Throw out your wardrobe and get a new one, fuck it. Take those gymnastics classes with that roblox friend, who gives a fuck. Take dance classes! You love songs and rhythm and music and moving to music and you never got the chance to use it since like fucking high school band class. Do what outgoing people do. Fucking write poetry! Work out hard. Get ripped. Because you know what? You got nothing left to lose. You can't take this shit from C and M emotionally anymore. So don't. Become better than them. Be better than them. You ARE better than them. Rise above them. Because you're running out of time, and your life is worth living and then some. You should be so happy to be given this life with so much privilege and potential. So transcend who you are. Become someone you want to be." Yeah.... life is too short for negativity. I need to just let things go. And maybe still go to a therapist.

[survivor-marianas-trench]

“Catherine” - EPISODE 3

Honestly I'm me believing Seamus when he tells me everyones voting for Shea and I end up putting some cocky ass confessional that looks absolutely dumb now because he didn't go. I'm. Just. Sad. I should've known better whew. Anyway I need a swap or something, like I need new people and ones that actually wanna form solid alliances because literally nothing is happening here and I'm too eager to just sit around...Anyway...Send help...And wish me luck.

my game consists of nothing but doing what amanda & kait tell me to do.. D: im sorry i'm a flop i've just been real busy....if i make it to merge i'll start playing then

My tribe is doing that. I survived our first tribal council, and got myself into a majority. I literally told everyone they're the only person I talk to lol I love people quitting like honestly my aesthetic is people leaving without me having to do anything. Who's next?!

So I went from winning two immunities to getting second to last! Ahaha at least I might not look like a threat! Right after rhea was announced as immune I went to working making sure I was safe I talked to rob, Amanda, rhea, kait and Emma to get Steven out! If all goes well I'll be safe and we can move on to the next challenge 

Honestly this Matilda thing isn't so bad. 1, I'm in Chicago so it's hard to participate depending on the challenge. 2, as long as the vote goes as planned this time having everyone vulnerable for the next ones allows my alliance to vote out who we want. Seamus should be going tonight which makes me sad because he is really cool and awesome to talk to. But because of the reactions from last vote it's the best move. Hopefully the game changers continue to dominate. But ya never know with this game. 

WHEW me getting out in the first round? I believe it. Relatable content. I'm so hungover and I don't have the patience to figure out the vote. I think it's Seamus, but I need to check in with people, but I'm also trying to not fucking vomit. 

Alright so I'm kinda sad I flopped in the challenge, both winning/losing it....And now no matter what we're all vulnerable next round thanks to the lovely Matilda so everything is just lovely. On the bright side Kait told me she found the idol so Queen! As of right now I think I'm in a good spot and as far as I know the vote is between Shea and Seamus. I really want Shea to go because I trust Seamus! Like he really got screwed over last vote and I'm shocked people handled that so poorly!? Like don't make people believe something's the vote when it's not!?!? I literally thought he knew about the split but then Lily told me she didn't tell him about it and just let him vote Shea like......Why would you do that...So now I'm a bit nervous about Lily but I think I can trust her for now. That's about it for now but I'm gonna try everything I can to make sure Seamus isn't caught in the crosshairs here.

so last round these mcfucking liars of tribemates told me they were all voting shea but then voted veronica and didnt tell me :/ so i kinda had to play catch up and guilt a few of them so they wouldnt target me this week. i believe again that sheais going home this week but im p sure im getting some votes

So it sounds like shea is going tonight? Which is cool with me because he hasn't been talking to me much recently. I wasn't sure about Seamus because of how the last vote went but it seems like Seamus and I are good. I just don't want any flippers going into a merge tbh. Haha. But honestly people will flip shit will go down and we just wanna go in with the best tribe possible. Also this Matilda thing? Might actually be okay if we have the same tribes tomorrow. I'm worried we will have a tribe swap and all of the tasi people won't be able to get immunity so we will all get voted out. I'm glad I don't have to do a challenge while I'm in Chicago tho so that's good. Hopefully everything works out and I don't get too much anxiety. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9MGnRX900w&feature=youtu.be

I think I orchestrated my first vote ever and it was amazing. I got out Sam, screw him, he's the worst and I bet he didn't care about the game. Now I want Steven gone, cause... who's Steven? He seems snealy too. I think I might go too, so I'm not cocky.

I hate everyone still. This tribe is boring AF. Rob goes and tells everyone last night about his plan to vote Steven this vote, which is fine by me bc I didn't even know there was a Steven on our tribe!!!!! However like Darian and Amandie (they will be referred to as that from here on out) came to me about it also after. So okay Rob I see you leaving me out until TODAY!!!' Freak. Anyways, I'm fine with him thinking he's some kind of kingpin for now til I decide I'm tired of doing what I'm told hehehe

So I won immunity!! https://media2.giphy.com/media/1ofR3QioNy264/200.webp#4 I can't believe I actually won an immunity! And so, here I am just like,  https://media4.giphy.com/media/qGmYKpdCVoXu0/200.webp#8 I don't like that Darian is calling all the shots! https://media.giphy.com/media/vouHgfse1v7cA/giphy.gif I want him to go soon, but I forsee him easily making the merge which scares me. 

I CAN FINALLY VOTE!!!!! London Tipton voice "YAY ME" *clap clap*

So I go to do the deep challenger thing and....they say get past level 4 on what's inside the box. I was like okay, but then I realize, I played this game literally yesterday for fun and I was like oh okay, and then I realize I chose some pussy shit lol

From what I can tell...The plan is to leave Kelsey out of the loop which is so stupid. I don't know why these people want to ostracize so many people from votes like they did it with Seamus last vote with no valid reason!?!? I know Kelsey felt sympathy for Shea last vote which is making people nervous so that makes a little bit more sense but like...I just don't feel comfortable leaving people out of the loop? Ugh. This is just too much. 

Okay so my confessionals have sucked and I'm sorry. Lily, Liana, Dan, and I are all in an alliance and we've decided who's getting voted out every round and this time we'e going for Shea. Last time he got wind that his name was being thrown out there even though it was the decoy name and he went OFF!! LIKE HE WAS CRAZY FREAKING OUT AT EVERYONE! And during the first vote he was throwing out EVERYONE'S name! He threw out mine, Christine's, and Carson's and those are just the ones that I heard about. Who knows who else he was saying. So his messy ass has got to go. I think we might be swapping soon and I don't want to get stuck with someone who's going to throw me under the bus the first second they get to save themselves. So I also got to go to that Challenger Deep thing. IT FUCKING SUCKED! I HATED IT! I picked level 25 because I think hey that's pretty deep and the deeper you go the harder the challenge but the bigger prize! TOO BAD THE PRIZES WAS A FUCKING PUNISHMENT! Now no one from my tribe can compete in the immunity challenge next time and I feel awful. If we stay in these tribes then it'll make it easier to just vote out Kelsey but if it's a swap we're all fucked because of it.

I....Might've caved and told Kelsey the plan. If this backfires.....I'm dead. I just felt so bad like Kelsey didn't deserve to be left out, you know? Don't let me down Kelsey, don't let me down.

Im just doing this so I dont get a strike

Girl. Hold my hair...this week was too much. Coming off of Veronica's elimination, I was feeling so good for Shea and I. It seemed like we have finally found some leverage in the competition and I was ready to run with it. However, when I checked in today and saw a severe lack of people wanting to talk strategy, I knew something was up. Winning immunity was amazing and I don't regret that for a second but I think it softened my reaction time a little bit. I think the biggest challenge for me in this game is actually pushing myself out there. I'm usually very confident in my facade of being a harmless player letting me be subtle in my moves but I don't think that's the case at all anymore. If you don't speak up, you're outspoken and...that showed this week. It's a deadly balance that you have to find and on the tribe this week, it just didn't work for me. Originally, Shea wanted to do Seamus but lil' ol me thought we could get out another person who's a threat such as Liana since Seamus still makes an effort to talk to me. When it came to the votes and convincing others...not many people wanted to strategize with me and that was a definite problem. The only people who kept it real with me- or shall I say person- was Catherine. (Host Note: Whom??) THAT is something I appreciate more than anything. I thought that Lily would but unfortunately she was "out" the whole day. Girl...get a grip. Catherine (???) would definitely be the only person I cling to in the competition IF we were still together but...we. Merged. DEAR JESUS AND LORD ABOVE, THANK THE HEAVENS!!! I know I'm not going to be able to win immunity, but at this point, I could care less. This is definitely something that came at just the right time. I was at the bottom of my tribe and I know a few people are still going to be coming after me, especially coming off of my immunity win. However, I'm giving this week everything that I've got. While I doubt more and more I was the real mastermind of eliminating Veronica, the reason why I was prominent in that elimination was because I was bold. Not aggressive, just bold. I think if I can harness that quality again, I can breakthrough another one. Tasi is OVER, darling. Liana is already fuming despite her attempts to cover it up. There are people from Tasi that I bet will never talk to me again now that we're merged. Everything I want, I've definitely got to work myself for. Basically, it's what I expected it to be being a new player; it's me working for myself now. Now's the part where veterans who know each other and people with connections outside of this game start linking back up. It's up to me to start really wedging myself in. I want to give people a reason to vote out anyone BUT me. And at this point, now that Shea's gone, I'm going Open Season on all of these hookers. Miracles are hard to do, but if I did it once, I can do it again. I REALLY want to show these people what I can do. I came to slash throats, save my family and wear ugg boots. And if I have to do it from scratch? Christina, bring me the axe; NAAAAAOOO!!!! Wish me luck! Sincerely, Canada's Self Proclaimed Favourite; Kelsey Mikaelson~! 

[cryinghole-blog]

Xav: I'll talk to you on Steam but won't join tipchat again

Chinye: whats wrong

Xav: I dunno

Xav: I'm yelling a lot

Xav: Keep on changing what I want to do

Xav: Keep on fidgeting

Xav: So I'll talk after this shower

Chinye: ok

Chinye: i hope u feel better

Chinye: is something about tipchat bothering u?

Chinye: something i said?

Xav: No, it's me

Xav: I got upset in the shower. When I'm calmed down I'll tell you

Chinye: can i help?

Xav: I just need to unload on you

Xav: Sorry in advanced

Chinye: ok

Xav: Just here's the jist

Xav: I'm lazy

Chinye: lazy?

Chinye: i dont really get that impression with you

Chinye: did you forget to do something?

Xav: okay im back on

Xav: this might take a while

Xav: because i just have a horrible feeling in my gut

Xav: but the main reason why i am in my current life circumstance is that I'm lazy

Xav: 2010, first year of high school

Xav: everything was okay besides friend

Xav: 2011

Xav: i couldn't develop a study strategy

Xav: because I didn't feel like it

Xav: and pushed away the worries by either talking to people, playing games, watching things, etc.

Xav: this manifested

Xav: i started to not ask for help

Xav: because I didn't want to

Xav: and it was so much effort

Xav: this started spilling into everything

Xav: in life

Xav: today

Xav: i didn't eat breakfast

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: i didn't walk peggy

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: didn't do washing, the dishes, clean up

Xav: didn't go outside

Xav: it goes into video games

Xav: i can have more fun in Granblue if I looked up what I should do next and grind

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: and don't want to put in effort

Xav: so I just whine about my current situation

Xav: i would put more effort into trying to rebuild friendships

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: t would require too much effort

Xav: and make me anxious

Xav: and runin mty day

Xav: so I resort to staying inside

Xav: I was in the shwower

Xav: I was too lazy to get out

Xav: i just let the water envelop me

Xav: Like a wet and slippery cocoon

Xav: I don't try to develop new hobbies

Xav: Because that requires me to fail first to improve

Chinye: you sound like me

Xav: and I don't want to do that

Xav: I am too lazy to get up

Chinye: thats exactly how i am

Xav: too lazy to get dressed

Xav: too lazy to look for a job

Xav: too lazy to seek help from free government services

Xav: too lazy to tell mum and dad my real inner problems

Xav: too lazy to even start a conversation with my surviving friends

Xav: too lazy to become alive

Xav: too lazy to defend myself

Xav: i just take each blow

Xav: too lazy to do these stretches which will stop me feeling pain

Xav: too lazy to stop any of this happening

Xav: too lazy to believe in myself

Chinye: do you have anything that motivates you

Xav: i dunno

Xav: i just wanna go to sleep

Xav: because im too lazy to figure out what to do for the rest of the day

Xav: Too lazy to even try to find someone to fuck the pain away

Xav: I'm too lazy to find out if I even like dick

Xav: I've just masturbated to some dumb doujins online

Xav: had one boyfriend

Xav: who hadn't even transitioned yt

Xav: and i label myself as bi/pan

Xav: too lazy to get to the root of the problem

Xav: too lazy to get better at video games

Xav: doesn't that just make your skin crawl?

Xav: i want to do all these things

Xav: but this little thing in my head just makes me this walking zombie

Chinye: it doesnt really make it crawl but it makes me lock up a bit

Chinye: because i have exactly the same problem

Chinye: no motivation to do anything

Chinye: too lazy to fix my problems

Xav: i can feel my energy leak out

Chinye: I dont know what to say about it

Xav: all the positivity

Chinye: cause like im exactly the same

Xav: i want to cut off my limbs

Chinye: I wish there was a magic fix

Chinye: :(

Xav: and im too lazy to stop talking and think about your feelings

Chinye: you dont need to stop

Xav: i just keep on going

Xav: and impede negativity onto you

Chinye: negativity doesn't bother me

Chinye: I can handle it

Xav: even though i know how you feel because i've been in your spot so many times

Chinye: I just am thinking about it

Chinye: I dont know how to solve problems i have myself

Chinye: its good to know im not alone though

Xav: i'm too lazy to tell people what they say makes me feel horrible but i bottle it up and struggle to help them but all i can do is hit these plastic objects

Chinye: I thought other people just had motivation to do things

Chinye: and that things were just harder for me

Xav: which then sends an impulse to wiring then goes through all of these devices

Xav: to someone else

Chinye: Do i make you feel bad?

Chinye: with anything i say?

Chinye: I can stop dumping emotional stuff on you

Xav: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mWotngJBcc

Xav: i can't stop talking to you though

Xav: because then you will have to talk to someone else

Xav: and gothrough the same process

Chinye: I can keep it in

Chinye: and deal with it myself

Chinye: like should've done in the first place

Xav: you;'ll hurt yourself in the

Xav: process

Chinye: i'm sorry i've been dumping stuff on you

Chinye: I wont anymore

Xav: no

Chinye: thanks for all the help so far though

Xav: i want to be strong

Xav: i want to be strong for you

Xav: but i'm just so squishy

Xav: and take everything to heart

Chinye: i told you before

Chinye: i can handle it myself

Xav: i dont want you to be in pain

Chinye: i just got weak

Chinye: and let it fall on someone else

Chinye: dont worry about it anymore

Xav: i failed

Chinye: how?

Chinye: we're still gonna hang out

Chinye: and talk

Chinye: just not about sad stuff

Chinye: unless you need help

Chinye: maybe it'd be good to get some sleep though

Chinye: you said you were tired

Chinye: and i dont want you ot be upset

Xav: i donm't know

Xav: do we even have anything else to talk about?

Chinye: ofc we do

Chinye: are u joking

Chinye: i think were really good friend

Chinye: s

Chinye: we can talk about games

Chinye: and shows

Chinye: and things going on in discord

Xav: every day i just feel weaker and weaker

Xav: yesterday was fine

Xav: i don';t know why

Xav: everything felt different

Xav: but just

Xav: thinking of anything

Chinye: its my fault

Xav: makes me collapse

Chinye: you have been dealing with other peoples problems

Xav: no

Chinye: in addition to your own

Chinye: ofc its gonna be hard

Xav: please no

Chinye: ???

Xav: i don't wnat it ot be like this

Chinye: what to be like what

Chinye: im confused sorry

Xav: i dunno

Chinye: oh ok well

Chinye: if you wanna play games

Chinye: or anything

Chinye: let me know

Chinye: get some rest tho

Chinye: noob

Xav: i want to be stronger for you

Xav: for everyone

Chinye: then get there

Chinye: prepare yourself

Chinye: but that doesnt mean you gotta deal with everything at once

Xav: i want this feeling in my chest to go away

Chinye: sleep

Xav: it's 4:30 pm

Chinye: its the best way to get rid of feeling like that

Xav: it will ruin my day

Chinye: listen to music?

Chinye: im not sure

Xav: none of my music is particularly good at making me feel better

Chinye: you could finish koboyashi

Xav: i watch it with friends

Chinye: watch an anime from my list

Chinye: anything 8 and above is good

Xav: im too lazy to do anything new

Chinye: have you seen no.6?

Chinye: its shonnen ai

Chinye: but its really lite

Chinye: and good

Chinye: im thinking about going to sleep

Chinye: im really tired

Chinye: despite sleeping a bunch

Xav: okay

Chinye: not sure yet

Xav: dont ruin your sleep schedule this weekend

Xav: i want you to go to work on monday

Chinye: thanks dad

Chinye: :P

Xav: sorry, just can't think of anything funny atm

Chinye: lol you dont have to

Chinye: go eat a sanger

Chinye: or whatever u called them

Xav: i just feel frail and stale

Chinye: stale?

Chinye: you are a really nice person

Chinye: and i really think you brighten people around you

Chinye: a mood booster

Xav: it;s not enough

Chinye: its some though

Chinye: better than being someone who brings others down

Chinye: if everyone was like that

Chinye: things would be great

Xav: i;m going to be a pig and order food now

Chinye: wish i did that

Chinye: the sub i had when i woke up was gross

Chinye: lol

Xav: hoping mum won't look at the credit card bill

Xav: she was suggesting i make something for myself

Xav: but im just so weak

Xav: i didn't even make that sandwich i said i was going to make

Chinye: want me to paypal u money

Xav: no

Chinye: so u can order food

Chinye: and u just pay me back somehow

Xav: somehow will be in 2 years

Xav: maybe more

Chinye: it doesnt have to be with money n

Chinye: nerd

Xav: i've given you all i have

Chinye: what would food even cost

Chinye: like $20?

Xav: this place's minimum order is $20

Xav: the HSP was 13.50

Chinye: just let me know if u want me to

Chinye: and i'll paypal u it

Xav: i got a milkshake but it was shit

Chinye: you dont even have to give back

Xav: i can't let you do that

Chinye: i dont want you to get yelled at

Xav: Mum doesn't yell

Chinye: sorry

Chinye: shamed at

Xav: i can deal with it

Chinye: you dont have to if u let me help

Chinye: but ok

Chinye: its up to you

Xav: i just can't sorry

Chinye: ok...

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 6 - “I Had the Wig Snatched from On Top of me” - Duncan

ROB

Eddie did not fucking deserve that, fuck you Sam you piece of shit I've hated you for so long. The newbies can go to hell. Matt fucking Summers I am so glad Jenna Tibby beat you she is a much better person than you, and you don't even host. Bye. 

I'm pissed I wish it was me instead

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158247853246/immunity-6-word-play

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158291809426/immunity-results

RYAN B

I pretty much said nothing this round and did absolutely nothing for the challenge but #noshame cause I'm failing 5 classes so.....

ALI

AHHHHH. I JUST MADE A BIG MOVE! This was my first real tribal (the last one was just an inactive being voted out) and it featured IDOL PLAYS, A SPLIT VOTE and.... ME PLAYING AN ADVANTAGE. little old me!!!! Like I just am in shock. That tribal went amazingly. And I don't feel bad about potentially having betrayed Duncan, as he betrayed me too by lying to me! :) All is fair in love and war, but if they think they can fool little old me, they're mistaken. This sheep has claws :)

ROB

7F

fucking [6:56 PM] Trevor: 

<<< FranklyTrevor, Today 6:56 PM no swear words

fucking

JAY

I haven't done one in a bit I'm sorry!!! But I'm in a fantastic position on my tribe. Scott and Ryan are mostly inactive, so I shouldn't have to worry too much about the first two votes. Also I'm still very close to Owen and RTP. And with Owen comes Trevor, which is fantastic for me. I feel like I'm playing Robin's game from India. Getting close to the couple. But it works. And I'll be close with them while I'm on this tribe.

JD

That tribal was terrifying. I was so stressed... I thought that Logan had the same advantage as Ali did. I was holding my breath, waiting to see a 'and there's one final vote' which never happened. I was buzzing on that for like hours at work. But at yen same time, we might have out smarted them this time but why are still in our tribe. We have to get along and we have to win the next challenge.

I'm not going to lie though, the thought of throwing a challenge did cross my mind. Because me and Ali are in a good place here and if we win then that puts our alliance i. A tight spot and we don't know how they are making over there. We just have to do the challenge and hope that they've had time to make their connections like we did and see what happends.

On another side not, if Sam ever right my name down, I'm going to be a bit bitter, not for long because this is a game but i mean me and Ali saved him, his game was in our hands and we decided we needed him. So Sam, if you voted for me at any time... Give me a day lol

-

Omg i really want to work with Eddie. I really think we could have done really well together. And i feel bad about lying to him because he told me flat out he was voting Sam and he wasn't lying. But i mean shit happens and of we play together again i hope to work with him but i guess we might never see that 

I think this last vote out a target on me and Ali. I think we did a good job at downplaying how close we are but I think everyone is starting to see if. Hopefully not all of it, but they know we're working together... We'll see. 

-

I'm a little bitter that the hosts feel asleep during the endurance challenge. It's 4 am for them and I'm still up and they're​ hadent been a post for 2 hours not. My tribe could have really put themselves a head for when everyone else gets on but now we can't. People need sleep but i don't know, feels a little unfare that my tribe (not just me) sat up late to try and grab the extra points and now we'll be tired tomorrow and the others will get the bonus of sleep. Whatever, that's life. 

-

I can't wait to get back with Trevor and Lydia and see what they think about is being able to vote out Eddie :) thank you Trevor for giving us that little bit of advice baby

RYAN PALMER

Ok so tribe swap, epic. I ended up with most of my allies and this is going to be great. The Fam consisting of me Owen Trevor and Lydia seems like it going to be my strongest alliance rn. I obviously still have David who I want to work with, and Jay seems to think the 4 Othrys are gonna stick together. That leaves a pretty big group of intertwined people to work together and I dont have to expose myself. and as soon as we came over trevor immediately told me about how he wants ryan b out next. idk what happened but he does not like him. we are just gonna ignore scott and hope he just gets med evac'd. we won the music video challenge thanks to muah! jk lydia is the star of the video lmfao i love it. so then eddie leaves? nut. glad i dont have to deal with him in this game. their tribal seemed like a shit show and i want to know everything about it. so then we get this new challenge and trevor is like...oh we can lose its fine....and im like....uh no i dont lose on purpose....and he said not on purpose....but like hes not even trying for this challenge...i know hes trying to throw and i hate that. this is going to bite him in the ass later let me tell you!

DUNCAN

You know the saying "I had the rug swept from under me"? Well I had the wig snatched from Ontop of me

-

I fee like freaking Gina Marie after nick got evicted in bb15. Yesterday really sucked. Eddie is a dear friend and someone who I've been dying to play with for the longest time. I'm so pissed that they took him out. Like? The only reason I voted with those three is because eddie was a part of the three. I could of dealt with being lied to by the other side, by being in the minority, by losing an alliance member. I'm crushed by losing eddie. Now I look like a fucking idiot bc I followed my d*ck and not my head. Now I'm on bottom and I need to make sure I find footing in this fucking tribe to make sure that I'm not the next one to go if we go to tribal.

-

Oh! On top of that! I played my fucking idol and had to give it to someone. So who do I give it to?! It's a hard decision bc I don't trust anyone for shit on this tribe, and I'm probably the next to go, but I have to do something, I can't just roll over and die right? Sooo even though I just tried to help vote him out, I gave it to Samuel. Samuel has all the control over the newbies and is in the power position. I don't want to try and get anyone to flip to Logan rob and I because really? Like I've said, I was only in that alliance for eddie. I'm not going to stay on bottom for the other two. #sorrynotsorry I know I can work well with Samuel if he'll have me, so basically I have to spit shine his ass while trying to play it cool with the newbies. Matt summers? Can cheauxke? I told him I liked eddie and I think he was looking to weaken me if I flipped so that's why they went for him. Also you know what, I didn't feel bad about flipping when I casted my vote. Matt summers lied to me about being in an alliance on our old tribe and that's just frustrating. Then he messaged me back after I messaged him at Tribal like "looks like it's going to be hard for me to trust you now" and I'm like BITXH YOU ALL LIED TO ME ANTYWAYS! So I was on the outs anyways?.......I just feel kind of down. All these great people were cast and I knew it was going be a lot harder than the last two times. I'm still going for that crown, but it looks like the path is going to be paved with blood tears and the corpses of friends 

ROB

I know that now that we're not playing anymore, Eddie is going to stop talking to me again. Fuck Ali, should've just voted Sam and saved your double vote jackass.

ALI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMRRoCmK5eU

OWEN

SO! We lost immunity. I didn't try very hard. I don't think any of the people who actually try on this tribe DID do very well... Oops. We have dead weight in Scott and Ryan B so honestly... I wasn't that concerned. Part of me wants Jay to go because Duncan/Rob/Logan are probably a thing, and Jay would most likely join them. Plus Jay has WON before. But also, Jay does well in challenges and I'm technically working with him.

So my thought now is to go for Ryan B, and maybe Scott will just get expelled for literally not showing up lmao. I'm not really sure who Isaac is... But yikes.

I'm not playing a very good game I don't think, but it's because of the cast. Half of them I have strong relationships outside of the game and I can't really help that. The other half don't bother to show up or try. So there's nobody new for me to get to know. So! I'll lay low and wait for shit to hit the fan when all the people I know merge. I do feel like I have my hand in different baskets and we'll see what happens :~)

JD

So... I got a ring. I don't know own if i like not being able to help direct the vote. Not being able to have a say in what was happening. I might have to pass it off too maybe, I'm not sure. It's cool as hell, i love the idea but i don't know... Control issues maybe.

RYAN B

Welp. At this point it's gonna either be me or Scott. I've accepted my fate either way. We both have been pretty inactive(although Scott has done even less than me so far). If it's not me this time it'll probably be me next time soooo.........

SCOTT

So my Skype officially HATES ME. I literally haven't been active in the chat for what seems like weeks. Hopefully I don't go tonight. 

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/jhuTyOZlEL8

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158332506751/tribal-council-5-olympus