#im unhinged and im not that great with words or typing

[jazzzzzzhands]

POV: You are watching me descend into madness in the WH server

[miiiwu]

these r pretty common here but i love transmasc mike and vyvyan (i think mike would be more like stealth binary trans), transfemme genderfluid rick (tho transmasc rick is also fun), neil being like. plantgender/otherkin nonbinary and the secret fifth roommate being a complete agender enigma with no discernible agab are fun.

i tend to enjoy depictions that r more period + character/voice accurate though so i don't think they would use that exact terminology for it. but basically none of these bozos r cis

i love the idea of Vyv doing diyhrt and possibly his own top surgery (and maybe bottom surgery but he'd probably put like. dynamite in his penis or some shit so maybe he shouldn't be trusted w that kind of power lmao)

i feel like these r all pretty typical stuff other ppl have already said tho, so there's more original (and unhinged) stuff under the read more im so sorry lmao

uhmmmm ok more original stuff uhh i think rick has a brat taming kink/thing where he acts super annoying bc he subconsciously wants to get smacked around bc of some psychological shit about being a pampered upper middle class only child who nobody likes lol. maybe its actually a deep seated self loathing. he thought once he got to university ppl would like him and he'd become super popular, but it turns out he really is just annoying. its not that his peers from childhood were ignorant to his super deep intellectual ideas or whatever lol. i dunno im not a psychologist.

also i think he is both intimidated by and attracted to vyv (not projecting At All)

vyvyan grew up poor without a father figure (that we know of) and with a spiteful alcoholic mother so seeing rick take his parents + other privileges for granted makes him want to kick his ass. i love the idea that vyv and mike r childhood friends also, and mike sort of Was like a father in some ways despite being (presumably?) the same age as vyv. it explains why he’s the only flatmate vyv doesn’t physically hurt and makes it kinda cute when he calls him michael. 2 me

also i think vyv and rick have autism but their specific brands of autism clash with each other (one needs quiet, the other needs constant noise,, that sort of thing) and it drives them both crazy

and i think all 4 of them have some form of ADHD or other disorder that effects executive function bc that's the only way i can see them letting the house get that dirty 💀💀💀

also i think vyv absolutely gets off on humiliating rick but i don’t think he even realizes he’s getting off on it if u know what i mean (he'd never admit it to himself, bc that's 'girly' and gay!!!). like with the virgin sign (and presumably making him wear a t-shirt later too), its meant as typical vyv torment but also um. that whole incident was just gay sex. what do you mean you two shook the bed so hard it fell thru the ceiling um hello???

also i think all four flatmates of some flavor of gay/bi but have comphet/pretend to like girls way more than they rlly do. their masculinity (and by extension heterosexuality) is a performance. especially mike’s. tho tbf everything about mike is a performance. the cool person persona is fake as hell. obvs some of it is related to the implication that he’s somewhat involved in shady dealings (where tf did he get that gun, why was he the one to suggest robbing the bank, he literally tried to sell a nuke, paying off the dean of the college etc). And you know what? I'm starting to suspect Michael “Mike” The Cool Person isn't even his real name.

(also i think the fakeness of his cool guy persona is super interesting from a trans perspective)

neil is treated as the overworked unappreciated housewife/mother, while mikes the father everyone seeks the approval of, with vyv being the violent brother and rick being the socially conscious sister whose pigtails he tugs on (the bart and lisa of the flat lol) they’re basically the Nuclear Family in the form of 4 university students which i guess isn’t even headcanons anymore im just stating the actual intent of the show but im in too deep now and the gender politics of the young ones is interesting 2 me. despite featuring very few women characters i think lise mayer gave the scripts some Sauce.

neil consistently is forced into the traditional/stereotypical role of a woman in a lot of ways (including vyv oggling him in ricks dress) and as a result of this treatment (as well as probably an actual case of major depressive disorder imo) he repeatedly attempts suicide and/or threatens to do so as a cry for help. some of his attempts are so poorly executed it rlly does seem more like an ignored cry for help.

he's passive aggressive as hell, believes ridiculous stuff causes cancer and absolutely would fall for a pyramid scheme. just like a real mum! (feels so weird to type mum when you're american 😭 i feel like those ppl in 2012 who were like weebs for britain. teaboos💀)

neil to me is that one thing moms/mums sometimes do where they r all "omg I'm the only person who does anything in this house" while doing dishes and when u ask if they want help they say no but r like. sighing and sad about it. like perhaps they would like help but don't want to admit it or realize they could have asked this whole time but didn't and now feel embarrassed or ashamed by not realizing this sooner (not that the other guys would ever willingly help with cleaning). honestly i think neil likes wallowing in misery a little. idk

the line where he says he might as well be their mums and they reply that they at least *like* their mums, i don't buy that shit. Vyv has a strained relationship w his at best and you cannot convince me rick doesn't yell at his mum constantly. and mike for all we know could've been created in a government lab for all we know about his family+upbringing. i think they likely all love their mothers but i don't think they 'like' or respect them, and for this, neil really is the mum of the group no matter what the other 3 say >:3

there's probably more gender role stuff a way smarter and more qualified person could go into but that's all i have on that lol

ok back to regularly scheduled horny rivyan psychoanalysis

i think vyvyan's desire to become a doctor is partially rooted in his enjoyment of torturing small rodents (ie. SPG), and to him people are like. Big Rodents. and part of why he targets rick so often is because he reminds him of one (he is my precious rat boy). I've said this before somewhere but rick is like a prey animal to me.

uhmmm also i think if vyv came out as trans to rick he'd be super ignorant but outwardly go “oh yea transsexuality is so anarchic, right on! I dabble in a bit of transvesticism myself…” but he just really really really wants 2 know whats in vyvs pants 😭

and just wait until he does some reading and finds out about tdick and bottom surgery options. he'd probably keep avoiding eye contact but doing his gay little coquette shimmy every time they r in the same room and try to """subtly""" bring it up to him when he thinks mike and neil aren't listening lol

like “gulps is that your p-p-p-p-pussy vyvyan….” behavior.

i think some of vyv's aggression towards rick is just like. why dont i have a penis right now. i need 2 jackhammer this obnoxious twink somehow (oh no i'm projecting onto vyvyan i need to stop before this gets out of hand)

uh ok ok this isn't a headcanon but I'm obsessed with that one scene in Flood where they r all holding down neil to kill and eat him and he asks for a last cigarette and mike gets one for himself and rick instinctively lights it for him. Also in Cash when Mike and Vyv use Rick as a sofa um anyways um uhhh vyv phalloplasty/penis star tattoos/piercings goodnight everypony

what’re your favourite the young ones headcanons ? i need moreeeee

[six-eyed-samurai]

SUMMARY: Rindou loves you and all but...you really aren't supposed to be spamming his phone during a meeting right now.... A/N: This is absolute crack, based off a recent convo and dedicated to my unhinged moot @plebbypebblepleb WARNINGS: Sanzu on drugs and swearing

>>look at this cat I found

>>he's so cute!!!!!!

>>IM GONNA DIE FROM CUTENESS can we pls pls adopt him???

>>never mind

>>HE BIT ME

Rindou felt his eye twitch. He discreetly swiped away the notifications on his pinging phone away under the table. Thankfully no one had noticed yet, although Ran was grinning slyly at him he always was.

Twenty messages.

Barely ten minutes had even gone by in the meeting.

Luckily he had turned off volume for his phone. Mikey wouldn't be too happy to have his Bonten meeting so frequently interrupted so unprofessionally. Rindou didn't have much interest in being laughed at or questioned by the others either.

>>riiiiiiin

>>I was watching some videos

>>would you become a 100 foot boa constructor who eats British children boiled and gets skinned to be used as socks or boots for a Russian lady I consumed three centuries ago (she tasted like coconut)

I'm in a meeting<<

And no???<<

Rindou continued to nod at Mikey's words, doing his utmost best to divide his attention between his rapidly typing fingers and his boss while Ran ducked his head under the table curiously and came up with a wink and a very obvious smirk. Koko eyes them both suspiciously.

He was used to this. Absolutely. One thing that came with dating you was that you had a tendency to spam his phone with updates of what you were doing, odd things you had seen, the most creative of questions and pictures bordering on unhinged.

He wouldn't change it for anything, of that Rindou was certain. He loved you to Pluto and back and in an every day fight he'd take your side over Ran (even despite the elder Haitani’s “miserable” theatrics of supposed betrayal). The texts livened up the dreary work of being part of the number one most wanted criminal gang.

But…

>>I'M NOT FINISHED

>>or drink fruit juice that will give you the seven most deadly diseases

Both are terrible<<

>>[image attached]

WTF<<

>>Like it?? <33

I don't want close up pics of your feet<<

>>how dare you

…it was quite the inconvenience when he was supposed to be working.

Like right now.

Rindou reached up and rubbed his temples. Mikey was getting to the important part and he was really struggling to concentrate. It wasn't like you didn't know he was busy. He had specifically mentioned it today. Rindou couldn't fault you either - this was just your love language and…this was probably revenge for him misplacing your favourite shirt.

He briefly considered ignoring your texts for now, until he could answer them later. But then it'd probably spiral to a 100+ and the vibrations were really starting to get to him. And he did once promise to never ignore anything you said after you apologized for talking too much. You might even call him.

Ugh. What a conundrum.

Ran’s smile widened and a new notification sprang up on Rindou’s phone.

>>Ah ah ah lil bro

>>texting your gf in a meeting?

>>you're very obvious about it

>>I'm sure Mikey will notice soon~~

Great. Two idiots were spamming up his phone now. Couldn't he ever catch a break? He caught Kakucho’s frown at him and adjusted his poker face again.

Shut up<<

You're on your phone too<<

>>I'm just warning you~~

Rindou exhaled sharply and kicked his brother under the table. Childish, but Ran was a child and he deserved it.

>>Rin???

>>guess what!!

>>my fav singer just dropped a new album!!

>>can we buy it later

>>pleaseeeeee

“Haitani Shithead! What are you doing under the table?”

Crap, Sanzu caught him. Rindou shrugged, leaning away from his side-eyeing neighbor. “Nothing, just need to arrange some things on my phone for some debts to be collected,” He lies casually.

The pinkhead is probably too high to realize the holes in the fib. Thankfully he lets it go with another pop of a pill. “Sure, don’t gotta be so secretive.”

“Also, don’t call me Shithead.”

>>[3 images attached]

>>chat wake up what is going on in my friends gc rn

Yes, Rindou wanted to scream, he absolutely had to be secretive…with the cursed pictures you had just sent him. Thirty unread messages already and the meeting wasn’t even ending yet! God, Ran wasn’t helping either - he too was now spamming Rindou’s chat.

>>rindou and (y/n)

>>sitting in a tree

>>k

>>i

>>s

You know what, he could make his excuses later. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Rindou massaged his temples again, sighed deeply and looked down on his phone.

He blocked the both of you.

***

Of course it came back to bite his ass when he went home later that night: having taken extreme offense to the block you had promptly banished Rindou out of your once shared bedroom and he was exiled to the couch.

Which was being hogged by Ran who claimed he was there first for his sixth nap of the day.

Maybe next time he should just “lose” his phone before a meeting.

[ryderdire]

okay not to be unhinged about The book of bill stuff on main but i DID cross ref the pages of BOB that are From the great gabsty and this is likely not important but heres what i found strap in this post gets werid (mostly because I’m sleep deprived and typed this as I was doing it)

page numbers are different. the pages that are directly copied into the book of bill are labeld pages 11-15 (16 techically but 16 is covered by white out) while in the pdf its 29- about half way through 32 (thats no including the next page which cant be read in the bob) Then i was like huh the pages kinda break in a werid spot too. soo i did some code bs (everthing in parenthesisis is stuff on page 16 as such im noting it) First word of every page gave me -

About and works it no (elevator?) First and last word of every page

About her And now works awful it tom no (elevator a) Last word of every page- Her and now Awful Tom (A?) First letter of every page A A W I N (E) First and last letter ARAWWLIMNE First letter of every first and last word AHANWAITN (EA)

which is almost somthing ahan is a bit ???? but waitin could be smth Last letter of every page RWLME(A)

first letter of every last word HNATT(A)

And for those of you who saw the ad

and called it at the end he says "That will be 9.99" So As a crack theory ima put the 9th word and letter on here as well. both forwards and back since theres only 3 9s here i also thought HEY WTF so ima just real quick 9th from the top : The Chatting Said Her Man

Odds: The Said Man Evens: Chatting her

TCSHM Odds: TSM evens:CH

9th from the bottom: That Next Said Of McKee

Odds:That Said Mckee

Evens: Next of

TNSOM Evens:NO Odds: T S M

Anyways never ever let me make ciphers bc apparetly im crazy and will code shit like this lol. Any who none of this seemsssss that viable. i just needed a distraction. maybe ill throw these through an anagram thing at some point idk im sleepy i promise im sososososososososososo normal.

Edit: Also feel free to cross check my work I did do this as half awake nerd up at 4am so I guarantee I did somthing wrong

[blood-mocha-latte]

luztoye love languages - please give me in depth thoughts

>:)

i have soooo many thoughts on this and you are about to hear them. all. im breaking my knuckles and getting into this. all Love Languages Ranked In Order Of Strength. Luztoye Version <3

5 - words of affirmation:

first, with nicknames. toye tends to swing towards more traditional nicknames (sweetheart, beautiful, etc) and uses them pretty often

he feels like he's not exactly Great with talking, so putting what he can into words through nicknames is his best way to show luz what he's thinking without him becoming overly defensive

luz is. all over the map with nicknames. he ranges from the good ol' fashioned ‘no homo’ names (buddy/pal/etc) to the most unhinged nicknames he can think of (i.e. pillowcase) to Normal Nicknames. toye literally could not gaf less

ok and i mean like look. as far as weaknesses go, i think they're p far up there on the communication scale. these motherfuckers don't talk. u know that bit in himym where robin and barney never talk about their problems and instead just Fuck. bc that's what they do

4 - receiving gifts:

look. gift giving rarely crosses their minds. not because they don't care about it, but because they genuinely just don't think of it

when two people are in the same vicinity a lot/work together/are never separated - like in the army - there isn't a lot of room for grand gestures and gift giving and the likes

they settle into giving each other small things on holidays/birthdays (cigarettes, ticket stubs, etc) but it hardly matters whether or not someone says something or gives them something

3 - quality time:

melds into the above. they spend so much time together no matter where they are (from proximity in the army to post-war living together) that everything they do is in a love language, in a way

they'd watch a lot of movies. luz is literally obsessed with funny face when it comes out and has seen the gay divorcee Too Many Times. toye's favorite is you were never lovelier, he can quote most of the scenes. yes these are all fred astaire movies shh

they're the same way with music. they don't have a lot of money after the war, and what they can save goes into a turntable and whatever vinyls they can find.

it's mostly billie holliday (obviously). but there's a lot of duke ellington in there as well, and, later on, a bunch of eartha kitt.

2 - acts of service:

luz really, really likes working with his hands. he's obsessed with fixing things, and oftentimes, it's things that weren't even broken.

when he's stressed out, he tends to tear apart whatever he can find (the sink, the fridge, etc) and then trying to put it back together

this often translates into him subconsiously doing whatever he can to 'fix' toye

he doesn't even realize that he's doing it, really. toye does, but doesn't say anything, because he knows it's how luz finds whatever equilibrium he's working with

the general rule is that luz is able to fuck around with anything of toye's except for the crutches, the leg, or the chair. everything else is fair game

it almost is a game, at this point - the best way to tell what kind of day luz is having is by looking at the state of Disarray around the apartment

toye doesn't say anything about it, and it's often put back together the next day. when it's not, he puts it back together himself

1 - physical touch:

number one for luztoye always and forever for One Million Years. they r touchy, your honor.

most of their touches are small - hands on knees/shoulders, brushing along the backs of necks, etc. they're much more reserved in public, but those stick with them

i've included it in literally every single one of my luztoye wips, but toye is definitely the type of person to be like. Crush My Soul Back Into My Body.

luz is just genuinely a touchy person, all the time, and he tends to be uber touchy with toye. like a fucking octopus.

i could go nsfw sooooo quickly but like. i shall Withold and instead just say. i have Too Many Thoughts on this

thank you sooo much for the ask bestie! i truly had the greatest time contemplating this <33

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ how the boxers react to being flirted with ☆

Sorry for dissapearing (again), i was busy damaging my hearing, enjoy my woobification teehee

Glass Joe

- Really depends on how you flirt with him, if its poetic or really straightforward hes gonna turn into a tomato

- hes not giggling, its just your imagination nuh uh

- he def rolls in bed like a rotisserie chicken while thinking about ur pick up line

- hes gonna try to flirt back until its just a competition of who blushes the hardest

Von Kaiser

- actual jaw drop from him, the more poetic the better

- in shock, his brain literally turns off

- has to check his pulse because GODDAMN his heart is beating harder than usual (You may have a heart palpitation, kaiser)

- you live rent free in his head now congratulations

Disco Kid

- right back at you, if youre a bit too straightforward he may need to tell you to slow down

- youre getting a response IMMEDIATLY. And i mean it, fresh out of the oven, thrown at you with some sprinkles on top

- giggling while he calls you cute names like sweetie, honey, baby etc etc

King Hippo

- nice try, HES AROACE!! (GET HEADCANONED IDIOT!!)

- he laughs it off while making it clear hes not into you or anyone

- flattered though, appreciates the fact that you were willing to go out of your way to approach him

- if he was not aroace or only ace, he'd just smile, the more poetic you go with him the better you have chance of making him go red

Piston Hondo

- hes suddenly cosplaying a cherry

- loves poetic rizz, will definitely go back at you until both of your flirting attempts sound like two lovers mailing each other in opposite sides of the world while one is at war

- if youre straightforward he just gets flabbergasted, like what do you mean there isnt a build up for it with 20 poems inbetween??

- cant focus rest of the day, hes internally screaming off a mountain

- the sight of you just makes his ability to focus evaporate

- draws and/or writes about you rest of the day

Great Tiger

- if you use something clever you can get a small blush out of him

- if you're the type to go for poetic lines youre gonna need to call 911 because his soul literally vanishes from existence, tiger dont go into the light stay with us PLEASE

- has to have his clones give him flirting advice because his flirting skills are not there (like 80% of my hearing)

- his flirting attempts are just "damn, are you a construction worker?, because you are a building." no matter how much he tries

Bear Hugger

- he makes his reactions clear, literally emotes while you flirt with him

- if youre poetic or straightforward he literally just says "woah"

- he just turns into that one cartoon wolf im not kidding, literal "ohh mama hubba hubba" from this man

- his flirting style is very straightforward, not "hey babygirl" type but "youre so pretty i would leave all my belongings and change my identity if it ment i could hold your hand" type, do you understand??

Don Flamenco

- replies 1.2 seconds after you, he needs to have the last word here (or last rizz in this case)

- literal mirror, the more more straightforward & atrocious your lines are the more straightforward his are going to be until it devolves into both of you sounding down bad, when they go low, he goes lowER

- poetic lines makes him have a heart attack

- its actually possible to fluster him

- unironically says babygirl to anyone hes flirting with when approaching, it doesnt matter how tall, strong or flirty you are, your gender doesnt matter, he can and will call you babygirl, its a gender neutral term for him, corners you while doing it

Aran Ryan

- evil cackling, if you put a organ over his laugh you suddenly get a scooby doo villain, he sounds less like hes flustered and more like hes about to detonate a nuclear bomb

- unhinged lines, ends up getting restraining orders thrown at him

- brings things he finds cool to flirt, ranging from flowers to rocks (he was a evil crow in a past life trust me his left eyebrow told me)

- cartwheels away

Soda Popinski

- maniacal giggling, even if its not THAT good & ridiculously straightforward

- his pick up lines unintentionally sound like god tier shitposts & end up working somehow

- corners you (in the romantic way) if you're really direct

- has the silliest giggle when flustered, literal "hehe" coming from this man that could snap you in half if he wanted to

Bald Bull

- you think the others are bad at handling flirting?? Then you havent seen bald bull because OH MY GOD HES ABOUT TO LITERALLY FLY OFF THE EARTH

- hes actually fairly difficult to fluster but once you find his weak spot hes gone from there

- cannot flirt back, blurts something dumb out like "sorry im all red pretty people make me nauseous"

- he literally goes (> - <) when blushing & covers his face with his hands

- the more direct you are the closer he gets to passing out

- stutters a lot (omg y/n is that you)

- Bull, this is bottom behavior

- people use the most unhinged pick up lines on him, someone once told him "let me milk you."

- his hands automatically go 👉👈 if hes too flustered

Super Macho Man

- Stop boosting his ego please, he may be flustered but youre kinda enabling him

- dumbest pick up lines

- also another unironic "hey babygirl" user

- if he doesnt know what to do he just throws money & valuables, 5000 dollars be upon ye

Mr Sandman

- oh my god he has the sweetest smile ever (if you dont go too straightforward), he doesnt blush a whole lot but he just chuckles a bit

- if youre direct, his jaw also drops like huh??

- his weak spots are poems & small gifts

- a little bit dense but once he gets it he smiles like crazy

- giggling kicking his feet whenever he remembers that

[otomepeachy]

Mammon Playlist

Link

These can be for the original game or NB. most of them fit for both. I've had the playlists for a while but recently refined them. I hope you like them!

Explanations (Excluding Character Songs):

They Call Me Tiago (Her Name is Margo) - Tiagz

Not exactly a song about him but something I think he'd listen to and I think it fits his vibe. I just really think it fits him.

Go Hard (La.La.La.) - Kreayshawn

A bit unhinged and chaotic which always reminds me of Mammon. Also love that the first line is "I don't have any money..." Big Mammon energy. This poor bitch is always in debt.

Oh Yes (Rockin' With The Best) - Laidback Luke, Keanu Silva

Not only does it give off his kinda vibes but he's also very full of himself. I mean we're talking about "The Great Mammon!" He only comes in second to Asmo.

Jerk It Out - Caesars

Another one based on vibes. The instruments and vocals just give me something I feel he'd like!

Mine - Bazzi

This is 100% how he thinks of MC. That boy is just absolutely smitten with them! He adores them! He might be a bit selfish, careless, and let's be honest stupid but he always does his best when it comes to MC. He's always genuine and open with them! I just love him!

24k Magic - Bruno Mars

We all know if Mammon knew how to budget he'd be living a lavish lifestyle! He loves having nice things! Plus, some of you forget this but I didn't, one of the powers Mammon has is that If he likes someone they're bound to come into money and usually prosper wealth wise.

Tonight Tonight - Hot Chelle Rae

Party boy. Loves a good time and letting loose.

7 rings - Ariana Grande

Wants nice things and who can blame him. It's not exactly his style music wise but the lyrics definitely remind me of him.

Sucker - Jonas Brothers

I mean it's literally canon that MC can say one word and Mammon just falls in line. Even Lucifer struggles with that sometimes. He'd do literally anything MC asks.

Check Yes, Juliet - We The Kings

Oh, this is so him! He's so the type to do the cliche throwing rocks at his partners window then asking them to sneak out for a late night impromptu date. Hes also just so stubborn and honestly, we love it. I just feel like this is very much what he'd be like in a relationship.

Hard Times - Paramore

This man is always in the red. He is struggling financially and his brothers constantly belittle him, this man is just living in a constant state of hard times. My fav may not be Mammon but the day I don't immediately jump to his defense in a cold day in the devildom.

Make You Mine - PUBLIC

Once again, this man is smitten! He just loves MC so much and it's so sweet I'm gonna cry-

First Date - blink-182

As much as he likes to show off and brag and act cool he is always a bit nervous around MC. He wants to impress them and look cool but he can't help but blush and stutter when they flirt back. It's adorable.

Treasure - Bruno Mars

I truly believe that in a relationship Mammon would put MC over everything. I know it's a stretch...but I think even Goldie would come second! WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME IM RIGHT!!

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

Jealousy. That's it. We all know Mammon is extremely protective and jealous when it comes to MC. It makes sense for the Avatar of Greed. But I also think the lyrics can apply to how Mammon might feel watching MC with his brothers. Because even if you don't necessarily want to romance Mammon he is still clearly pining after MC.

GOODMORNINGTOKYO! - TOKYO'S REVENGE

Chaotic and unhinged. What more do you need?

[callsign-relic]

im (slightly) calmer now but ive preserved the absolutely unhinged energy i had while originally typing this because oh my GOD

---

my numbers are so fucked up im giving up YPU KNOW WHERE IM AT. I KNOW WHERE IM AT. 

S3 EP whatever ITS FERAL SCREAM TIME 

Feral Scream Part 1!!!!!!!!!!!

forget episode title feral scream. feral scream is the noise im makign while watching 

it was a BEACON

SOMEONES OUT HERE...

uh oh!!!

OH SHIT THE PODDDDD

Oh fuck CHEETOR IS GONNA SNIPE EM??

AH FUCK OPTIMUS !!!!!!  

oh cheetor you've done it now... :(

WASPINATOR LOOKIN BACK AT THE CAMERA LIKE :D AHFJFHDKDHDJ.???

oh god. Megatron monologue.

love waspinators igor energy here.

take it easy with the power pizzas...

is depth charge going to help? 

no. <33 

off he GOES Lmao??????

CHEETOR!!!!!!!!!! AHHH

INSTALL THE CLONE CELLS?? clones of WHOMST?? dinobot??????? IDK HES THE ONLY ONE WHOS BEEN CLONED BEFORE

WHO IS IT!!!!!

waspinators igor energy OFF THE CHARTS

wait literally theres even lightning and stuff like when dinoclone was introduced

UAAUHGH I MEAN. WHAT IF...

Ough the tension this episode is so so so good. it feels like its been like 20 minutes already im DYING its been like 7min.

AAGAHDOGHRKELGJELENGLD i made an unintelligible noise IS IT ?? IS IT ACTUALLY DINOBOT ????

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHH?!?!?!?!?!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBHHDHHHFHFJ!!!

ah fucm DEPTH CHAAARGE

how much does dinobot know/remember... can HE transform? or is he like dinoclone...

HE CAN

oh FUCK CHEETOR!!! AHH

aHHHHHHH?!?!?! IS HE OKAAAYYYYYYYY????? 

IS CHEETOR GONE??? or did he also get transmetal2'd... but the thing!! the thing that did the transmetaling he threw it to DC!!

"cat was tough. hw went out fighting" oh my god DEPTH CHARGE you. i. im gonma fucking.

NOT ANOTHER WORD???????? THATS ALL? HE JUST LEAVES? SHFKFBEKRBFK hes so terrible. i love him.

scanning

OH? OH?? BLACKARACHNIA...

OUGHGHRHDHHFHF... she got the THING. the alien core thing!! before it got destroyed !!

awww OP :(

AHHH CHEETORS STILL ALIBE

OKAY OKAY OKAY AHH

oh my god but hes going through it... auuaug WHATS HAPPENING TO HIIIIM

AUEODPEKEMFBFLNWBFLS THE SUDDEN TONE CHANGE

THE RUBBER DUCKYYYY?!?!? BATHTIME AGAINNN <33 

rampage !!!

Megatron wiggling his toes...

RAMPAGE........ 🥺😭 like listen hes evil and terrible and mean but also I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIMMMM i love when being unkillable becomes a curse. so good.

dinobot hasnt said a WORD so far... dinobot... wjat have they done to you......

CAN he speak? IS THAT WHAT THE TITLES ABOUT. FERAL??

depth charge on the hunt!! 

oh man theres gonna be TWO spark signatures for Rampage now

THIS IS LIKE THE LONGEST EPISODE EVER ITS ONLY BEEN 15 MINUTES IT FEELS LIKE 40 THIS IS GREAT IM SO STRESSED OUT

OH OH OH DINOBOT DOES SPEAK

👀

👀 BUT HARDER!!!!!! GROWLING!!

CHEETOR? CHEETOR??? CHEETOR????????

"some kinda GHOST mebbe..." ajrkfhrkdjk Quickstrike is so tiny.

"...or it will be when im done with it" grjfhdkenrbtkrjfke i still. dont like QS very much but i do respect his lines sometimes theyre SO funny

hes SUCH a little freak.

oh my god cheetor(?!) is SO fast

SO SO SO FAST

Megatron spinning like a tornado!!!

im really enjoying depth charge just. tied up here like "WTF IS HAPPENING"

ouguguugufufufufhfhgggshggdggdgh... CHEETOR...

AHH OKAY OKAY HODPSKEMGDLGJE

*stressed noises* hhhhhhh

EPISODE WHATEVER THE FUCK LETS GO PART2

oh my god is that cheetors room 🥺🥺?!?!?

all the lil models... THE PICTURE OF HIM AND OP 🥺😭

WHEBGJFISHK WHY DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF BLACKARACHNIA BY YOUR BEDSIDE. CHEETOR.

op hanging around outside like a worried parent...

OUGH he cant even fit in the room- OUH he. hrhgsh. big.

rattrap: hey optimus! hows our boy uuuauauiihhhfhhdhhbg,,, their boy,,,,

he doesnt want to use the CR chamber >:000

oh i love the CLOCK? 

...............

SORRY IM JUST STARING VERY INTENTLY AT THE SCREEN RN WHAT THE FUCK

Ohhh its a dream again

KDJSLKJSDLK awwwh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ;w;

evil silverbolt in the dream is so. kjsdfkjsdfhsf "ill protect you from that UGLY creature" 

JUST A DREAM, HE SAYS AS HE STARTS TRANSFORMING?!?!?

WHAT !!! IS HE A WERECAT NOW?? HES GOT WEREWOLF VIBES

IAHDLKDJAKDAFKJFKJSDHLDKH "it was BIG. it was UGLY! ... it got cheetor..." 

NOOOOOOOO,, IT IS CHEETOR,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

megatron: "someones out for a midnight stroll... at mach 2" LSDFLFJHSF

whats!!! up with cheetor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT REALLY IS LIKE A WEREWOLF SITUATION KJHSJFH 

awwwwh,,,, cheetor :CCC

blackarachnia!!!! is so so so sus.

EHEHE... depth charge <3 

ough hes gettin knocked about by OP

IALELKJAELKRHAKLJS ? ?? ? dinobot cut waspinator to RIBBONS

LITERALLY

yayyy cheetor is back :D

oh CHEETOR. CHJEETOR......................... lying to op :( he already done know!

awwhh.. cheetor :(( 

UH OHHH. uh oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DINOBOT!! dinobot the second. Dinobot..2? what do i call him.

WASPINATOR WITH AN ARM SLING??????? AND BANDAIDS? he was RIBBONS.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHEETORS GOT A NEW FORM !

OH HES COOL? ?? 

Cheetor gets to be SO cool AHHHHG

hhhg... his beastmode is still feral.........................

awhhhhh 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 this whole bit is so so so sweet

>:O?!?!

awwwh- TLKAHD:LKDA":DLJLDA:FJFLKAHD OP PICKIN HIM UP

HES SUCH A DAD

"ah joy... cyber puberty" KDJLKSFJRLA hes all grown up now...

hes SOOO awkward

O"PAJF"A:SAKDIAHFR:AS NO

this is thw worst actually im getting secondhand embarrassment at these interactions.

HMMM... hm................. blackarachnia plotting... ouughghhgh,

AAHHH....

im guessin we're gettin transmetal2 BA soon but the question is HOW

(i know the answer now.) im up to s3 ep10 because i couldnt stop watching LMAO. so ive only got TWO MORE EPISODES. which means the next thing i send in will probably be. 3 eps in one since the last episodes are a 2 parter i think

ALSO i cant believe its tarantulas day and he fucking DIES (??!???!!) AHDKFBSK,,, im yelling screaming crying so much HAPPENS you weren't kidding when you said a lot happens this season!!!!!!!

- initiate

FERAL SCREAAMMMM LETS GOOOOOO

SGSGDHDHD THE CHEETOR PUBERTY ARC!!! These eps are so good HEHE. I still can’t get over transmetal 2 Cheetor’s fuckin. early 2000s goatee. SHAYAHDHDH

AND GRRRGRHR YESS DINOBOT 2!!!! Evil man…. It is so crazy how Megatron uses Rampage’s spark (or half of it) to make Dinobot 2. I can’t wait for you to see more of him RHDHDHE

I did think it was a little weird how suddenly Cheetor seemed to be crushing on Blackarachnia?? But I mean. He was just about to start puberty and we didn’t know it so. I guess that makes sense SHGSHDDH. The dream sequence is SO funny though poor Silverbolt…. His dumb evil laugh does not suit him HSHUSJSJS

And AGAGAHHDJ YOU KEPT WATCHING??? OMG I cannot wait to read the rest. The ep after Feral Scream part 2 is one of my favorites HEHE. YOU ONLY HAVE THE FINALE LEFT AAHHH!!! TRANSMETAL2 BA…. DEAD TARANTULAS…. AAHHHHHHHHH

[unclefathersantateddy]

what are your thoughts on teddy's relationship with his family and how they were abusive? what about his younger sister?? and his relationship with his ex wife where he was also abused by her 🤔 how do you think these affected his personality and relationships. sorry this is an English essay ass prompt but im genuinely curious lmao i love analyzing family history (obvs)

Light coming in with the big gun from the get-go!!! Hahaha thank you for a great question!!!

So from what we know about Teddy's mom, she's a bit of a Wild Card™. Likes to do what she wants, when she wants, isn't exactly your traditional grandma.

But given the majority of people become docile with age (rather than more adventurous), it stands to reason /why/ she waited until retirement to do all the things she enjoyed? Could that be why her and Teddy's dad always used to argue?

Teddy's age places his parents as either dating or hooking up around the 70s/80s. Assuming they've never left the US, this wasn't exactly a pinnacle time for women's rights.

So we have an oppressive timestamp, a turbulent relationship, and then an extinction burst (Teddy's mom doing ALL her interests in retirement) post-breakup.

These factors together connote that teddy's father may have been restrictive/disapproving of teddy's mother's interests, hobbies, passions - or may be indicative of teddy's father's disdain/nonchalance towards his wife in general. (I'm assuming they were married because 'merica). Which would be an apt representation of Boomer relationships, the whole "can't live with them, can't live without them" (totally healthy /s).

But on the flipside to a potentially controlling father, his mom IS a wild card lol. If she's still up to mad shit in retirement, WHAT was she into in her prime?? Was she Fully Unhinged™? Given her, "muchness" (for lack of better words), it stands to reason it may transfer as "feisty" or "fiery" during arguments with teddy's dad, so whilst his dad may have been authoritarian, his mom may have been inflammatory and antagonistic.

As for his sister GIVE HER SOME GD SCREEN TIME!!!!!!! WHO ARE DANA AND DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna see if she's exactly like Teddy or if she's his antithesis, are they both so interested in learning about the lives of every stranger they meet? That's beautiful bro. I hope so. I both want her to be an almost identical twin to teddy, and to look exactly like her bf Dan (like the Van Houtens in the Simpsons). I think I want Dana to have the spunkiness that teddy lacks. I love the "anxious older sibling, feral younger sibling" dynamics, like what Tina and Louise have. I want an episode where Teddy's in therapy talking to Dr Marjorie about his childhood whilst Dana's out back wrestling a bar fly for his teeth or smn. Same trauma but dealt with in VERY different ways. I need it!!!!!!!!! I deserve this!!!!!!!!! LOL.

Moving onto Denise, FUCK Denise. Fuck any single individual that makes you feel like you have to change your core sense of self in order to feel accepted and/or loved. You KNOW she's that slimy level of manipulative that easily gets her own way in every situation. The type that rarely gets called up but if you call them up everyone else around will take their side. The GOOD manipulators. Real piece of shit types. The type to push you so far into a corner you come out crazy. So crazy noone believes you and they all side with the charismatic one. (These people boil my soul into an angry black jus, I become one of the 4 biles). IIRC we don't even get a full line from her, I'm pretty sure she only says "teddy?" (But please correct me if that's false), but that's still enough to solidify her as a shithouse in my mind. Questioning his name like don't pretend you don't know or recognise him you shitcunt, he gave you so much of his life. Eat a dick.

As negative as all these experiences are, I do think they shaped teddy for the better! I mean, he is a lil anxious and awkward and doesn't have the best self-esteem/confidence. BUT, he's incredibly emotionally intelligent for an old white guy. He's SO full of love, for EVERYONE. Every single person he comes across or meets (as exampled by S12E4 Driving Big Dummy), he fundamentally enjoys experiencing. They're not just people to chat to, they are experiences to be had. They are characters you've never heard of to stories you've never read. His approach to people is polar opposite to how most of us perceive other people, most of us are like Bob, he doesn't /hate/ people, but he doesn't /like/ them either. Teddy DOES like other people, he REALLY likes other people, he put the work into his trauma so it didn't taint the rest of him. I'm not gonna speak on behalf of everyone with PTSD but I know for a lot of us we fester on our trauma and victimise ourselves, often resulting in self- alienation and isolation, teddy shows no sign of that. S8E5 Thanks-Hoarding picks up on teddy being a handyman so he can "fix" his parents relationship (simplifying), but it doesn't address the fact he is CONSTANTLY putting himself out there. Handymen are a word-of-mouth trade, to be a successful handyman you HAVE to put yourself out there. To meet new people is to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable with PTSD is like a rabbit exposing its belly to an owl yknow? Throughout the entire show we see teddy consistently putting the work in. Into every part of his life, he's making the effort to improve his life. I know healthcare in the US is a privilege that only the capitalists can afford, but it is so refreshing to see an American go to therapy instead of just complaining about how much they need therapy lol (no judgment, again I appreciate it's a nigh impossible situation to escape).

Thank you for the incredibly stimulating question, light!! (Sorry if I didn't answer all the questions fully! Will edit or update later!🤍)

[kenobster]

9 and 16 (anakin and obi wan) for the ask game please. im sorry but im not at all lol. love ur writing <3

Omg thank you so much!! For the ask and for the kind words. :') Hahahhaha these two questions are great, I LIVE for these questions.

from the Unhinged Star Wars Ask Game: Round 2

9. Who’s more kinky: Obi-Wan or Anakin?

(Note: For this question, I'm taking them in their default states, not in the context of a relationship with any specific character.)

I don't really find either of them particularly kinky! However, I absolutely do think that Obi-Wan is the kinkier of the two.

(Obi-Wan Headcanons:) I think throughout the horniest of his Padawan years, Obi-Wan had tons of casual sex with some of his trusted friends, but that, once those pesky adolescent hormones tapered out, he slowed down and became less of a THOT. So, as a teen, he probably tried all sorts of things and has a vast array of experiences in the bedroom... but as an adult, he's already formed a pretty good idea of what he likes and doesn't like, and he enjoys what he likes as it comes and/or is available to him (aka, he's not gonna die without sex lol). His biggest preferred kinks would maybe have something to do with his feelings of inadequacy or his perfectionism complex. I think that a little bit of BDSM play would feel really nice to him for that — as long as it was spontaneous and nothing super intense or deliberate. Like someone being rough with him or some sexy demeaning talk might get him going, as long as everything stayed super lighthearted and softcore (and as long as the sexual relationship was mutual re giving and receiving.)

(Anakin Headcanons:) Anakin, however, is as vanilla as they come. If you've never heard the song Jizz in my Pants by Lonely Island, first of all, I promise that you will NOT regret watching this (let it get to the first chorus before you give up — it's HILARIOUS, I swear). Second of all, I think this describes Anakin's kinks (and his feelings about Padme) pretty spectacularly. I don't think Anakin's at all opposed to trying certain kinks, and I do think that he's the type of person who can get into anything if it's making his partner happy (he is the subbiest sub in the galaxy and has a praise kink with the mass of a black hole lol) — he just doesn't seek kink out. He doesn't need to! He'll jizz his pants from a lap dance. Hell, he'll jizz his pants from a strip tease. He'll masturbate the same exact way every time, and it will probably last 2 minutes tops. During Anakin's teenage years, Obi-Wan probably wrote a review just like this one, but was appalled at Anakin's clear lack of variety — no experimentation, no curiosity whatsoever. Just a photo of Padme, a pack of lube, and a box of kleenex.

If we're talking Obi-Wan versus Vader, however, specifically in how it relates to, ahem, Vaderwan..... well, for that, my answer might change.

16. Describe Obi-Wan's and Anakin's undergarment preferences.

For Anakin, I headcanon that he has ADHD. That means he, more likely than not, has some sensory issues associated with ADHD. I think these sensory issues would particularly apply to tactile information as shown by his clear hypersensitivity (i.e. his dislike of sand) and the way he seeks stimuli (i.e. his interest in working with his hands, specifically with his prosthetic or droids). Thus, in relation to his undergarments, tactile information is probably extremely important to him.

The type fabric would be one consideration. I think he'd like something smooth and silky and/or velvety, instead of anything coarse or rough. And I think his metric for classifying fabric as course or rough would skewed compared to the average individual's metric — so linen and maybe even cotton would be out.

Another consideration (and possibly an even more important one) would be the size and shape of the undergarments. Assuming boxers/underwear, that elastic band would need to go high enough on his waist so that it's not slipping down all the time — but it would also need to be loose enough to not be a constant bothersome pressure (so probably high-rise boxers, a size up from his actual size). (Yes, I am speaking from experience and projecting this experience onto him, shut up. XD In seriousness, I bet there's a reason his Jedi robe is clearly a size up from what would fit. He clearly prefers loose-fitting clothes that don't bunch up and cause annoying sensory issues at specific points.)

Anyway, I don't know how underwear/boxers work in relation to dicks, but I imagine that's a huge deal for him, too, and would require just as much consideration of the above. In other words, however that shit operates, it needs to be the right texture and not too tight.

For Obi-Wan, he is a minimalist with a theme, but he also seems very finnicky about things being orderly and neat. There is so much going on in this man's life and he has very little control over literally any of it. I think Obi-Wan would be the type to try to simplify/organize what he can to minimize disruption to his routine as much as possible — that way, the disruptions outside of his control are less disruptive. (For example, if he keeps himself at a constant 0, then 12yo Anakin throwing a sensory-overload tantrum can't tip him over into 100. And 12yo Anakin has many sensory-overload tantrums. XD)

In terms of undergarments (again, assuming boxers/underwear), the first order of business would be to make sure they're all exactly the same. Cotton/linen/satin/muslin/etc? High-rise/hipster/other-boy-styles-that-I-don't-know? Beige/dark brown/white/whatever? Doesn't matter — as long as they all are absolutely identical. Obi-Wan is not going to spend fifteen minutes every morning searching his drawer for the exact pair he wants. That would be even more ridiculous than spending fifteen minutes trying to match socks. Obi-Wan wears earthy colors and simple robes because of how easy it is to match them with each other. He can reach into his tidied closet and grab the first set of tunics he sees. Of course, Obi-Wan secretly finds shades of brown upon shades of brown extremely aesthetically pleasing — but he will never admit this choice is anything but a tactic to save time.

The second order of business? Well, Obi-Wan is a man who prepares in advance. He is well aware of the possibility of things going to shit within a fraction of a second. One minute, he may be indulging in a nice cup of tea in his quarters on The Negotiator, and the next he might be knee-deep in the muddy trenches of some swamp planet. A well-functioning pee flap in one's underwear is critical — and it better be easy and quick to finagle whenever he's taking a quick piss while dodging blaster fire. (It's not just him. Everyone has to pee at some point. And the clones HATE their codpieces, yo.)

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

tracking nuthphop through music ep 6

*warning that songs and timestamps may not be 100% accurate, i tried by best tho. also i tried to descirbe the emotions of some of the songs but im not great at naming emotions so sorry in advance*

for ep 4 and 5

- (32:17) not exactly a song but a very overdrived saturated bass and scratchy strings play as nuth freaks because he looks at phop and sees nant.

- (backweight- Jay Varton 34:35) a suspenseful piano and string piece starts playing over nont and when the scene switches to phop grainy percussion gets added in. the song ends as phop exchanges drugs for an envelope of cash.

- (More Danger - Wendel Scherer 35:14) the music switches to this electric bass driven track with a kick drum that resembles a heartbeat and fast paced high hats as phop receives a blowjob in the alley. the music fades out when the camera pans to nuth watching them in the shadows.

- (couldn't find track 36:04) this epic choral/orchestration piece plays while nuth has his little violent fantasy moment of stabbing phop to death. the sound gets distorted and starts to fade out as nuth comes to his senses and switches to a melody played on low string instruments as he types on his computer (the iconic protect trans lives tshirt moment). the music switches once the camera switches to nont.

- (inverted - Hampus Naeselius 36:50) this very ominant string and percussion piece plays while nuth videos with nont. theres a string melody in this one too. it adds a sense of suspense to the scene, as nont is using an unsuspecting and lowkey unhinged nuth and we as the audience see both of them as potentially dangerous in this moment [this song also played in ep 4 when phop blocked nuth after nuth sends him money. in both instances we have nuth video calling someone who is hiding their intentions (ish) from him and he's the one who ends up burned]

- (how low do we go - sum it 37:38) this edm beat starts when nont says "your so hot" to nuth and ends when nont reveals his dick. the song is definitely upbeat and sexy but also has a almost meloncholy undertone to it, and it switches to a kind of goofy instrumental as the camera pans to the baddie bunch but i consider that to be relating to their emotions and not meant to reflect nuths. [note: the song title is "how low do we go" and here we have nont going outside of his comfort zone in having cam sex, the song ends when he pulls down his pants]

- (tripping over danger - craft case 38:26) this electronic instrumental plays when nont convinces nuth to go to the window so the baddie bunch can try to figure out where he lives. it conveys a sense of danger. the song stops when nont asks nuth to go in front of his door and nuth gets a bit suspicious. [danger is literally in the title too lol]

- (ignition - robert ruth 39:30) this is another epic orchestral piece with a booming bass drum. ist almost like a battle song. it plays as nuth is jerking off in front of his door and it stops when nont uses nuths name and nuth gets suspicious

- (40:46) interestingly, when nuth and phop have a very honest convo about their nights it is absolute silence around them. there is one of those boxy tv in the background and they are drenched in blue light. so theres a lot of visual story telling but its like their words take centerstage in terms of sound.

- ([ok hear me out yall, if you rememer there was a song that i spent DAYS trying to find from ep 5 and just fucking coudlnt find a trace of it AT ALL and its FUCKING BACK, anyway the instrumental that plays sounds like the song listed but then they add vocals on top that arent in the track and also some new synths and strings and vocal samples??? but i cant find this version online im about to cry this song is my nemesis] rewind time - clarene reed 42: 50) when they admit their feelings for eachother the same song that played during their first on screen sex scene plays, starting with the instrumental that plays when phop says "i treat you well, do you think i hate you" and the untraceable fucking remix version that starts with nuth saying "do you want to try dating". i mentioned how this was in ep 5 and similar to then, the visuals of this scene are less clear- they are behind foggy glass, the camera is constantly switching up, the lighting is dim, and in ep 5 is during nuths drug induced hallucinating but maybe reality moment where the camera and lighting were also purposefully muddled. [side note the way they look at eachother here makes me feral]

and that was music in ep 6! interesting that they didn't get piano ballads like they did last time but much more high stakes songs. also that remix is going to end me i literally lost my mind trying to find it but i have decided it was probably an in house remix since the vocals and instrumental don't match up in the same spots they did last time it played, also this ep it was much more chopped up.

[daonedaonlysk]

oh I’m not going to do justice for expressing my feelings towards any of the people listed. just know I love you all more than a blurb can describe.

also cringe warning bc idk how to express my feelings without thinking im coming across as creepy. that’s not my intention.

I wrote all of these at like 2 am last night and then forgot to post them. I just didn’t change them so yeah. enjoy

@hellincarnation - oh my fucking god where do I even start. genuinely one of the nicest people ever (don’t listen to him saying he’s a meanie pants. he is a liar) and is actually just the best. words cannot describe how great he is. he is worthy of everything and more. love you (/plat) lots man <3

@lovely-rants-alot - my test subject for all of my ideas with my silly little brain creatures. also my favorite Australian. also one of the best human beings ever. fantastic, incredible, amazing, 100/10 would find in every universe.

@totally-not-castor - born to be in the same time zone and talk all the time, forced to never be up at the same time. we have some of the best late night chats that I wouldn’t trade for the world. we simply make (well, type) birb noises at each other and know what the other is talking about, and if that’s not true frenship idk what is. impeccable human, would start a murder of crows with.

@yourfavoriteearthshaker - my siblong! well, not really, only in character, but still! never fails to make me smile with everything they tag me in. especially if it’s incorrect quotes the came up with. peak sense of humor. great person, would 100% be happy if we were actually half siblings in another universe.

@thementallyillapollochild - sweetest silly billy. super ultra kind and caring. bestie frens both in character and out of character. they love up tot he Apollo child title, because they are very much so the personification of the sun! fantastic human, I want to bake cookies with you.

@the-official-failure - one of the first people I ever talked to on tumblr, and was my first ever tumblr dm! and even after like… 8 ish months I think, we’re still frens! which is both kinda surprising and kinda not at the same time, but hey, I’m just grateful they’ve stuck around <3

@your-dazzling-sun - genuinely one of the kindest people ever. wrote me a whole little oneshot in like an hour upon finding it it was my birthday, when they didn’t even have to do anything at all. super kind and caring, love you (/plat) lots <3

@ja50nt0ddwa5h3r3 - I want to give you a hug. you just seem very huggable (that’s meant to be a compliment). we share the same brainrot over epic/myths therefore we are besties. I just need to remember to talk to you more, because you are so cool <3

@unhinged-as-hell - kind, caring, and not afraid to speak her mind, all traits I admire very much! although I just admire Leigh in general because she's so cool but yk. She's a very cool human being both in her pjo oc character and out. 100/10 would be half siblings with in the pjo universe

@psychicbluebirdmiracle - the adopter of all my traumatized brain critters. literally though, Penelope has decided to turn them into Pokémon, because she’s gotta catch em all. someone’s gotta do it though, and I’m glad it’s someone as incredible as you <3

@perseus-oh-my-perseus - one of the first people I actually grew very close to on tumblr! I started helping him out with a project of his (which was very fun by the way) and our frenship continued to grow from there. super kind and nice person, and very knowledgeable on lots of subjects! and for those of you who know my pjo oc Elektra, you can thank him for helping me come up with concepts for her lore! Love you (/platonic) loads Aridane <3333 /gen /pos

@gaygirldoodles - the bestie of my brain creatures. they have befriended all of them. wether the critters want to be befriended or not (ahem eLEKTRA) they have persevered and befriended them all. therefore, by that logic, they have befriended me <3

positivity train!

if you see this or are tagged in it, tag a couple of your favorite mutuals/blogs and let them know you appreciate seeing them on your dash!

@h0neysugarfree @blueberrylovv @bequiteanddriveeeeeee @cherri-bomb-bomb @eg0mechan1c @fatrexicisback

[1d1195]

Omg finally had time to read the newest toothpaste update and bestie…omg?! That was so GOOD!!! I know you typically don’t write smut(which is FINE!!!) this build up was just so😵‍💫 THE THUMB SUCKING I WOULD SIMPLY DIE!! She’s so brave bc omg could cry just thinking about it lol and she’s so bold omg I love that for her😭 and he’s so in love like this man is so down bad, I love it!! That “cavity filling” line… SAM WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO TYPE THAT HAHAH I LOVE IT !!!! It was so nice to read about these two again, loved it as always!!

I think it was also for the best lol I would have been WAY more unhinged than I already was lol and it seems so much like you to be worried about them and honestly I get it!

Bestie anything you come up with I know it will just be great!! And the way Market Basket has now been added to my list of stores I will simply not enter bc that sounds so bad😭 I love a good deal but my mental state probs candle handle that HAHA

Oh the writting aspect seems like it would have been horrible like the process of it lol I feel like you would have absolutely slayed cognitive psychology classes!! There’s so much stuff about the brain and like behavioral stuff too!

IM FINALLY FREE!!! Took both my final exams on the same day so my brain is a little fried but still very happy to be over with everything:)! YOURE incredibly sweet Sam😭❤️ I miss you too obviously when I’ve been away! I always love chatting with you no matter what! But same goes for you too, your overall stability and health is a priority! No matter how long it will always be so important to put yourself first!

I’m also so surprised how inspired you have been for Honey bc the amount of writting you’ve done in such a short time is so crazy in the best way!! I get being a bit critical on what you work on BUT I’m sure the last few parts are just as amazing!

THAT MEN QUOTE OMG THATS SO REAL!!!! HAHHA LOVE IT! I like the idea of annotating bc I think it’s cute too! I typically end up writing it out or taking a pic of a quote I like but that’s pretty much it! I also donate my books once I feel like I’ve outgrown them a bit so I try not to do too much damage lol but omg that sounds so fun with your friend!!

Hope you had a good week my love! And wishing such a peaceful and relaxing weekend! Love you lots!!!-💜

Yay! I think the whole reason I had this idea is because I finally have a dentist that doesn't make me want to cry anymore. I was so traumatized growing up HATING the dentist. Now I find it lowkey relaxing just laying there lol I am trying to think of more sexy punny innuendos for the dentist (there's something about being drilled on the tip of my tongue) but yes, he's mostly just obsessed with her 😍 as he should be. she's so cute 🤭

FREEDOM! YAY! I'm glad you're done! So exciting!!! 💕

I think I wrote like 15k words in the first day of starting it. Sometimes when I have (what I think is) a good idea, I try and write as MUCH as I can as quickly as possible so I don't forget anything I want to include. So I was bouncing back and forth between the beginning/middle/end putting pieces down that I don't even know if I'll use but I gotta include in case I need it. I'm currently REALLY attached to Honey still though (probs because I wrote it so quickly) so I'm lowkey struggling to write something else because I don't want to let them go 😭 It's like when I read a book that just hits and I'm like "I cannot leave them. They're my friends." It feels rude to move on.

I've been trying to donate more of my books! I'm out of room on my shelves! I usually leave them in the staff lounge. But I can't exactly bring my smut books into a school so I have to be strategic about which ones I bring in 😂 If I think I'm going to reread the book, or even just look at it, I always keep it. So there are MANY like that so I am struggling to clear space on my shelf. Plus I just keep buying more anyway 😂

Solid week overall and I'm hoping to be productive this weekend, but we will see. I want to put up fall decorations even though it's still like 80 degrees out. I know you don't like the cold much but I'm DYING for 50-60 fall breezes 😭

Love you!

xoxo

Hope you had a good week my love! And wishing such a peaceful and relaxing weekend! Love you lots!!!-💜

[bucketspammer4life]

how i think the boxers text

i was bored. also clay puppington looks like don flamenco to me somehow. goodbye

Glass joe - he would type with extra double spaces and use a lot of emojis for the wrong purposes with random capital letters

Example:

"hello. Have you seen my water bottle?"

"aran. is. in the hospital 🤯🤯🤯 call Later!! 🗣️"

Von Kaiser - okay grammar and uses a space before question marks & exclamation points, uses emojis in the intended (boring) way

Example:

"okay !! on my way !! 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️"

"aran fell down a pothole !! It is NOT 🙅‍♂️ funny !!"

Disco Kid - uses slang often and gets creative with emojis, likes to use keyboard smashes to laugh and leaves typos in for flavor

Example:

"aran really said 🕳️⬅️🏃‍♂️"

"HELP IM EVAPORATEINF😭😭😭😭 LMAO AHKAJSJSJSJSNNSNS PLEASEE"

"YOURW GOING TO JAIL FOR THAT ONE 👮‍♂️👮‍♂️🚔🚔🚨🚨 WEE WOO WEE WOO"

King Hippo - Really ominous messages, texts like hes telling you hes done a mission, sometimes forgets to use a dot and uses a comma instead, sometimes responds with emojis that have 0 relevance

Example:

"oh no,"

"I took care of him. The job is done."

" 🍝🤯"

Piston Hondo - squeaky clean grammar, uses emojis rarely unless he forgets the name of something

Example:

"Alright. I'll call later."

"What was the name of this? I know how it looks like but forgot the name. Looks something like this: 🥨. I think it was called a praised eel or something?"

Bear Hugger - He texts like a Facebook mom, down to the wording and everything

Example:

"You mean pretzel? 🤣"

"How did he fall down a pothole?! 😮"

Great Tiger - too lazy to fix typos so it looks like a ancient language, likes spamming the same emoji over and over again when hes run out of responses, autocorrect fucks his messages up even more

Example:

"wesir did srsn fslk doen s potjole?? (wait did aran fall down a pothole?"

"i dont knoe sf is ıoıld laıyknsyn at araj fellimf dlen and pırjolej" (i dont know if i should laugh at aran falling down a pothole)

"👀👀👀👀👀"

Don Flamenco - proper grammar with some tiny typos that gets autocorrect to mess his message up, his autocorrect is literally cursed, it runs his messages daily

Example:

"Did aran fall town s pit joke??"

"I am do confused"

Aran Ryan - unhinged, emphasizes random parts for no reason, emojis after every sentence, wrong emojis everywhere

Example:

"I fell DOWN a pothole! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️"

"shut UP 🖕🖕🖕🚔🦗🖕🥨"

"ILL drag you down there MYSELF!! 🗣️🗣️😡😡"

Soda Popinski - like a grandpa in the good way, sends those positive good morning images in every groupchat hes in

"Rise and shine! 💖"

"I just woke up. Don't know whats going on! 👀"

"Get well soon! 💐🌼✨"

Bald Bull - texts like your dad, except he switches out moves completely when hes cursing someone out

Example:

"ok"

"👍"

"You dumb bitch. Fuck you ass hole."

Super Macho Man - texts like hes making a copypasta

Example:

"Rise and GRIND! 🗣️ Surfs up today! 🤙🤙 Im catching waves like theres no tomorrow! 🏝️🌊"

"I have no idea. I am literally so confused right now. My brain is not working. My thought are not thoughting. I need a reboot. "

Mr Sandman - FINALLY someone that types like a normal person!!

Example:

"How did you fall down a pothole?"

"how great."

[digital999placebo]

This is out of the blue and I apologize but how do you think the nations act differently when they are drunk vs sober (if you don't mind me asking). Idk how to word this but like ... We see Germany as super serious but easy to bother usually but the one time we see him drink he's all :-D :-D :-D in that one photo. Meanwhile I'm pretty sure a drunk Italy would just be more chatty and flirty i.e. an exaggeration of his usual self.

i wanted 2 answer this with a drawing but ive had so little time 2 just sit down n draw lately so you get a wall of text. im sorry.

I do think Ludwig loosens up when he's drunk, loses the stick in his ass for once, n he's v easily entertained n physical touch becomes his number one love language when actual language fails him. He has learned from his past black out drunk mistakes to not speak so much bc he always says some unhinged shit that every1 remembers n brings up (nobody actually cares they only bring it up bc he gets so embarrassed over it), so the entire time he's drunk he's like "ok i only speak when necessary. the less words the better". And also he only really cuddles up to Feli when drunk, before he would do it to just anybody who didn't mind, but some night he put his head in Alice's lap n she braided his hair or whatever n Vene n Francoise wont stop bringing it up (again not that they care but its funny how embarrassed he gets) so yeah, he sticks to Feliciano now bc they're dating so it's easier to explain away. ALSO he’s the best dancer ever thanks to his extreme muscle control, he does the split on beat he can jump he can spin he can do it all, it’s an amazing sight to see.

Feliciano when drunk just wants to dance or fuck. He's either dragging his partner to the dance floor or to the toilet for a quick blowie, whichever is most convenient at that point. or he n Francoise lock themselves inside the bathroom n talk shit while fixing their hair or Francoise is touching up her makeup. Francoise n Feli tgether drunk is the loudest most obnoxious annoying thing ever, they talk loud and fast and with their hands n third parties can never ever keep up with their convo bc they switch subject all the time, n they go out to smoke like 15 times in one sentence. They’re like the *talks shit about a person for 2 hours* “but in the end….. if that’s what they wanna do then it’s like their body” “yeah we’re so open minded and nice” meme. Vene n Françoise r also like “I would literally eat u out if u asked<3” “omgggg<3 I would blow u if u asked<3”

Lovino is the drunk guy at the party sitting at the couch when he's not dancing, he's just trying to enjoy his buzz. He gets in fight with Gilbert over the aux cord.

Alice has never been at the perfect stage of drunkness, she always go above n beyond. Impressively tho she has never thrown up n she takes great pride in this. She’s not much for dancing but if Baxter Dury or some 90s britpop comes on?? She might…. she might…. she WILL

All ends with Ludwig having to carry home Lovino, Feliciano, Alice n Francoise.

Lukas, Matthias n Berwald r the type of drunks who leaves the group to go explore the neighbourhood or the city or just wherever they feel like. They go onto the subway and take whatever train comes first n just rides. They're also kinda like kids when drunk, in the aspect that if they're entirely quiet they're up 2 something they shouldnt b up to, and most likely Netherlands is there to watch the entire thing go down. Mattias is the annoying dude at a houseparty who goes through ur fridge n freeze; he'll start cooking shit at like 12pm n not even edible stuff. he just begins frying ur frozen hamburger patties in rum n coke, explaining why it's a superior dish that everyone should eat to Lukas, Berwald, n Lars (Netherlands). Berwald begins pouring leftover drinks into the frying pan to see what happens.

Berwald also teaches everyone the dirtiest pre-drink melodies (snapsvisor / shotvisor) ever n then mistranslates the lyrics like "uh yeah fitta means uh...... trees in swedish yeah its a song about nature" fitta means pussy smh

Gilbert is either traumadumping or screaming that he needs to queue EPIC songs for the dance floor, but they're all protestant psalms or like teutonic knights hymns. He's alone on the dance floor losing his shit to Psalm 148.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Facebook thrives on criticism of "disinformation"

The mainstream critique of Facebook is surprisingly compatible with Facebook’s own narrative about its products. FB critics say that the company’s machine learning and data-gathering slides disinformation past users’ critical faculties, poisoning their minds.

Meanwhile, Facebook itself tells advertisers that it can use data and machine learning to slide past users’ critical faculties, convincing them to buy stuff.

In other words, the mainline of Facebook critics start from the presumption that FB is a really good product and that advertisers are definitely getting their money’s worth when they shower billions on the company.

Which is weird, because these same critics (rightfully) point out that Facebook lies all the time, about everything. It would be bizarre if the only time FB was telling the truth was when it was boasting about how valuable its ad-tech is.

Facebook has a conflicted relationship with this critique. I’m sure they’d rather not be characterized as a brainwashing system that turns good people into monsters, but not when the choice is between “brainwashers” and “con-artists selling garbage to credulous ad execs.”

As FB investor and board member Peter Thiel puts it: “I’d rather be seen as evil than incompetent.” In other words, the important word in “evil genius” is “genius,” not “evil.”

https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/1440312271511568393

The accord of tech critics and techbros gives rise to a curious hybrid, aptly named by Maria Farrell: the Prodigal Techbro.

A prodigal techbro is a self-styled wizard of machine-learning/surveillance mind control who has see the error of his ways.

https://crookedtimber.org/2020/09/23/story-ate-the-world-im-biting-back/

This high-tech sorcerer doesn’t disclaim his magical powers — rather, he pledges to use them for good, to fight the evil sorcerers who invented a mind-control ray to sell your nephew a fidget-spinner, then let Robert Mercer hijack it to turn your uncle into a Qanon racist.

There’s a great name for this critique, criticism that takes its subjects’ claims to genius at face value: criti-hype, coined by Lee Vinsel, describing a discourse that turns critics into “the professional concern trolls of technoculture.”

https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5

The thing is, Facebook really is terrible — but not because it uses machine learning to brainwash boomers into iodine-guzzling Qnuts. And likewise, there really is a problem with conspiratorial, racist, science-denying, epistemologically chaotic conspiratorialism.

Addressing that problem requires that we understand the direction of the causal arrow — that we understand whether Facebook is the cause or the effect of the crisis, and what role it plays.

“Facebook wizards turned boomers into orcs” is a comforting tale, in that it implies that we need merely to fix Facebook and the orcs will turn back into our cuddly grandparents and get their shots. The reality is a lot gnarlier and, sadly, less comforting.

There’s been a lot written about Facebook’s sell-job to advertisers, but less about the concern over “disinformation.” In a new, excellent longread for Harpers, Joe Bernstein makes the connection between the two:

https://harpers.org/archive/2021/09/bad-news-selling-the-story-of-disinformation/

Fundamentally: if we question whether Facebook ads work, we should also question whether the disinformation campaigns that run amok on the platform are any more effective.

Bernstein starts by reminding us of the ad industry’s one indisputable claim to persuasive powers: ad salespeople are really good at convincing ad buyers that ads work.

Think of department store magnate John Wanamaker’s lament that “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.” Whoever convinced him that he was only wasting half his ad spend was a true virtuoso of the con.

As Tim Hwang documents brilliantly in his 2020 pamphlet “Subprime Attention Crisis,” ad-tech is even griftier than the traditional ad industry. Ad-tech companies charge advertisers for ads that are never served, or never rendered, or never seen.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/05/florida-man/#wannamakers-ghost

They rig ad auctions, fake their reach numbers, fake their conversions (they also lie to publishers about how much they’ve taken in for serving ads on their pages and short change them by millions).

Bernstein cites Hwang’s work, and says, essentially, shouldn’t this apply to “disinformation?”

If ads don’t work well, then maybe political ads don’t work well. And if regular ads are a swamp of fraudulently inflated reach numbers, wouldn’t that be true of political ads?

Bernstein talks about the history of ads as a political tool, starting with Eisenhower’s 1952 “Answers America” campaign, designed and executed at great expense by Madison Ave giants Ted Bates.

Hannah Arendt, whom no one can accuse of being soft on the consequences of propaganda, was skeptical of this kind of enterprise: “The psychological premise of human manipulability has become one of the chief wares that are sold on the market of common and learned opinion.”

The ad industry ran an ambitious campaign to give scientific credibility to its products. As Jacques Ellul wrote in 1962, propagandists were engaged in “the increasing attempt to control its use, measure its results, define its effects.”

Appropriating the jargon of behavioral scientists let ad execs “assert audiences, like workers in a Taylorized workplace, need not be persuaded through reason, but could be trained through repetition to adopt the new consumption habits desired by the sellers.” -Zoe Sherman

These “scientific ads” had their own criti-hype attackers, like Vance “Hidden Persuaders” Packard, who admitted that “researchers were sometimes prone to oversell themselves — or in a sense to exploit the exploiters.”

Packard cites Yale’s John Dollard, a scientific ad consultant, who accused his colleagues of promising advertisers “a mild form of omnipotence,” which was “well received.”

Today’s scientific persuaders aren’t in a much better place than Dollard or Packard. Despite all the talk of political disinformation’s reach, a 2017 study found “sharing articles from fake news domains was a rare activity” affecting <10% of users.

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aau4586

So, how harmful is this? One study estimates “if one fake news article were about as persuasive as one TV campaign ad, the fake news in our database would have changed vote shares by an amount on the order of hundredths of a percentage point.”

https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1257/jep.31.2.211

Now, all that said, American politics certainly feel and act differently today than in years previous. The key question: “is social media creating new types of people, or simply revealing long-obscured types of people to a segment of the public unaccustomed to seeing them?”

After all, American politics has always had its “paranoid style,” and the American right has always had a sizable tendency towards unhinged conspiratorialism, from the John Birch Society to Goldwater Republicans.

Social media may not be making more of these yahoos, but rather, making them visible to the wider world, and to each other, allowing them to make common cause and mobilize their adherents (say, to carry tiki torches through Charlottesville in Nazi cosplay).

If that’s true, then elite calls to “fight disinformation” are unlikely to do much, except possibly inflaming things. If “disinformation” is really people finding each other (not infecting each other) labelling their posts as “disinformation” won’t change their minds.

Worse, plans like the Biden admin’s National Strategy for Countering Domestic Terrorism lump 1/6 insurrectionists in with anti-pipeline activists, racial justice campaigners, and animal rights groups.

Whatever new powers we hand over to fight disinformation will be felt most by people without deep-pocketed backers who’ll foot the bill for crack lawyers.

Here’s the key to Bernstein’s argument: “One reason to grant Silicon Valley’s assumptions about our mechanistic persuadability is that it prevents us from thinking too hard about the role we play in taking up and believing the things we want to believe. It turns a huge question about the nature of democracy in the digital age — what if the people believe crazy things, and now everyone knows it? — into a technocratic negotiation between tech companies, media companies, think tanks, and universities.”

I want to “Yes, and” that.

My 2020 book How To Destroy Surveillance Capitalism doesn’t dismiss the idea that conspiratorialism is on the rise, nor that tech companies are playing a key role in that rise — but without engaging in criti-hype.

https://onezero.medium.com/how-to-destroy-surveillance-capitalism-8135e6744d59

In my book, I propose that conspiratorialism isn’t a crisis of what people believe so much as how they arrive at their beliefs — it’s an “epistemological crisis.”

We live in a complex society plagued by high-stakes questions none of us can answer on our own.

Do vaccines work? Is oxycontin addictive? Should I wear a mask? Can we fight covid by sanitizing surfaces? Will distance ed make my kind an ignoramus? Should I fly in a 737 Max?

Even if you have the background to answer one of these questions, no one can answer all of them.

Instead, we have a process: neutral expert agencies use truth-seeking procedures to sort of competing claims, showing their work and recusing themselves when they have conflicts, and revising their conclusions in light of new evidence.

It’s pretty clear that this process is breaking down. As companies (led by the tech industry) merge with one another to form monopolies, they hijack their regulators and turn truth-seeking into an auction, where shareholder preferences trump evidence.

This perversion of truth has consequences — take the FDA’s willingness to accept the expensively manufactured evidence of Oxycontin’s safety, a corrupt act that kickstarted the opioid epidemic, which has killed 800,000 Americans to date.

If the best argument for vaccine safety and efficacy is “We used the same process and experts as pronounced judgement on Oxy” then it’s not unreasonable to be skeptical — especially if you’re still coping with the trauma of lost loved ones.

As Anna Merlan writes in her excellent Republic of Lies, conspiratorialism feeds on distrust and trauma, and we’ve got plenty of legitimate reasons to experience both.

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/09/21/republic-of-lies-the-rise-of-conspiratorial-thinking-and-the-actual-conspiracies-that-fuel-it/

Tech was an early adopter of monopolistic tactics — the Apple ][+ went on sale the same year Ronald Reagan hit the campaign trail, and the industry’s growth tracked perfectly with the dismantling of antitrust enforcement over the past 40 years.

What’s more, while tech may not persuade people, it is indisputably good at finding them. If you’re an advertiser looking for people who recently looked at fridge reviews, tech finds them for you. If you’re a boomer looking for your old high school chums, it’ll do that too.

Seen in that light, “online radicalization” stops looking like the result of mind control, instead showing itself to be a kind of homecoming — finding the people who share your interests, a common online experience we can all relate to.

I found out about Bernstein’s article from the Techdirt podcast, where he had a fascinating discussion with host Mike Masnick.

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20210928/12593747652/techdirt-podcast-episode-299-misinformation-about-disinformation.shtml

Towards the end of that discussion, they talked about FB’s Project Amplify, in which the company tweaked its news algorithm to uprank positive stories about Facebook, including stories its own PR department wrote.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/22/kropotkin-graeber/#zuckerveganism

Project Amplify is part of a larger, aggressive image-control effort by the company, which has included shuttering internal transparency portals, providing bad data to researchers, and suing independent auditors who tracked its promises.

I’d always assumed that this truth-suppression and wanton fraud was about hiding how bad the platform’s disinformation problem was.

But listening to Masnick and Bernstein, I suddenly realized there was another explanation.

Maybe Facebook’s aggressive suppression of accurate assessments of disinformation on its platform are driven by a desire to hide how expensive (and profitable) political advertising it depends on is pretty useless.

Image: Anthony Quintano (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mark_Zuckerberg_F8_2018_Keynote_(41793470192).jpg

Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en