#im trying to talk to someone and become friends and idk where anything is going should i die

[pillsopa]

talking online sounds awesome in concept but in practice I fucking suck at it. i’m robbed of my usual theatrics and mannerisms. an aimless jester

[darlingdaisyfarm]

HEYY!! DIDN’T NOTICE THE ASK BUTTON UNTIL NOW! IM JUST WONDERING HOW YOUR DOING, AND HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAYYY (I apologize for not saying sooner, just found out how to like idk ask or something)

I SWEAR I DON’T MEAN TO SOUND PUSHY OR IF I ASK TOO MANY TIMES, PLEASE JUST SAY IF UTS ANNOYING, BUT DO YOU HAVE: “Jealous!Stanford Pines x Reader” ? CAUSE IDK IM JUST CURIOUS 😭💔

⋆౨ৎ˚ jealous!Ford x you hcs ˖ ࣪

ahhh, thank u so much sweetheart!! no it's not annoying at all, pls dont say that. and sure, here it is! honestly it was pretty helpful for me too because im writing a fic where Ford experiences jealousy. i think it also depends on what exactly he's jealous of (his own brother, random person, pet, etc) and your stage of the relationship

warning its a bit suggestive at the end

ꪆৎ Ford's jealous streak is most obvious when it comes to your mind, i think. like, if you’re showing too much interest in someone else’s ideas, books, or theories, he’ll be the first to drop some passive-aggressive comments

ꪆৎ you’re talking about some science or philosophy with someone, and Ford’s watching, feeling that tiny gnawing jealousy of someone challenging his brilliance. . . he won’t snap, but you'll catch him slipping in little comments, “well, actually, my research on this subject. . . ah, never mind. not worth mentioning to a layperson” ofc it's not directed at you! but to that idiot who dared to interest you

ꪆৎ later, though, after a long talk, he’ll pull you into his study and try to “explain” why only his thoughts matter <333 “you should know, sweetheart, i have 12 phds, allow me to explain you this properly.”

ꪆৎ “what? i’m not upset. i just think it’s interesting that you laughed at his joke when i’ve been trying to impress you with my brain for three years.”

ꪆৎ he starts touching you more too. hand on your knee during conversations. brushing your fingers when handing you smth. standing behind you, palm at the small of your back when you’re with others. and yet still, he doesn’t say a word because he doesn't wanna ruin anything. but his body moves on its own. “this is mine,” is what he’s trying to say

ꪆৎ Stan has always been the loud, charismatic one. Ford’s the thinker, the quiet one, who would rather bury himself in books than make small talk but he just cant help it. Ford doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like how his heart races with frustration or how his fists ball up, wanting to grab you and pull you away. he wont do it, but it doesn't mean he cant imagine it

ꪆৎ if you wear something revealing, Ford absolutely adores it, but insists on walking right next to you all evening

ꪆৎ he overhears you talking about a celebrity crush and spends ten minutes googling them in secret, furiously comparing their jawlines, yeah

ꪆৎ OMG. i believe he clears his throat when someone flirts with you... you know

ꪆৎ if it’s Stan flirting with you, Ford plays it off like he’s above it “Stanley, can you be serious for once?” but his eyes are laser-focused on you, reading your expression

ꪆৎ lmao, you'll probably hear smth as “i hope you had a pleasant conversation with my brother. he can be. . . charming, when he wishes.” prob says it with the politeness of someone screaming internally. and then he obsessively throws himself into work, convinced he's being ridiculous. you're allowed to have friends. you’re not his. not really

ꪆৎ i mean, he wants you to be. but he's terrified of what he might become if he lets himself act like it

ꪆৎ a lot of phrases like “well, i would’ve helped you carry that, but i assume your new friend has that covered.”

“no, go ahead! ill wait. im clearly not as exciting to talk to.” he’ll say it politely though, you wont even notice. even with a smile. and if you don’t pick up on it, he gets quiet and tells himself he’s just being irrational, but it still eats him alive

ꪆৎ Ford still tries to suppress it, but his eyes give him away. he stares. hard. at the person touching you. at the way your mouth curves. at your hands when they gesture

ꪆৎ and if he lets this jealousy win in the public, which happens like really rarely, Ford will absolutely pull you away from a conversation. six fingered hand at your elbow, “excuse us” and you’ll be halfway down the hall before he spins you against the wall

ꪆৎ but may also say, when you're two alone after you spend whole evening talking to someone, “oh, im sorry, were you enjoying yourself? you seemed so. . . engaged with them. i didn’t want to interrupt.”

ꪆৎ you get a pet. a cat, a dog, whatever. and suddenly your affection is going to this creature and not him. Ford doesn’t act out but he gets so still. sits next to you while you pet it, hand on your thigh, but not saying a word. you look over and he finally admits, looking so needy, “i’m being ridiculous but i want to be babied too” so you pull him into your lap instead and he kisses your shoulder with a quiet smile <3

ꪆৎ he gets also weirdly sulky about it. “you let the cat sleep on your chest, when it's my turn?”, “i counted, you kissed it on the head four times. i only got two :(” yes he’s serious. he’s a little unwell

ꪆৎ uhh, u call your pet “baby” and Ford visibly pouts

ꪆৎ if you’re talking to someone “too long” at a gathering, Ford won’t interrupt. but he will appear silently next to you, hand brushing your lower back, and when you finally break away and turn to him like “what’s up?” he’ll smile, as always, so polite. “nothing. i just missed the sound of your voice”

“that person seemed very interested in you. lucky them.”

“did you like the way they looked at you?”

ꪆৎ and the thing is, he’s insecure. so when he’s possessive, it’s always laced with guilt. Ford hates that he wants to stake a claim. hates how it feels to need you so much it makes his skin crawl when you’re focused on someone else

ꪆৎ Ford's jealousy always turns into guilt. he’s always so self-critical, he feels like he should be better than this. Ford knows it’s irrational, that you wouldn’t cheat or leave him for someone else, but it doesn’t stop the surge of possessiveness.

ꪆৎ he can’t help but feel like maybe he’s not enough for you, and that’s what sparks the jealousy in the first place. he feels the jealousy deep in his chest, this irrational, ugly thing he can’t quite stamp out

ꪆৎ he’ll kiss your neck just a little too hard. grip your wrist too long. but it’s always followed by “was that okay?” or “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to get carried away.” and god help him if you ever tease him for it

ꪆৎ “ohhh, baby. you’re jealous, aren’t you?” he’ll bristle, sputter, adjust his coat and glasses, trying to avoid looking into your eyes. “that’s ridiculous. i— no, i simply don’t appreciate disrespect. I’m not. . . possessive.” but when you'll play this game of silence, watching him, waiting him to spill it, oh he will!! “okay. was it that obvious?” he’ll say this so small. you’ll want to eat him alive <3

ꪆৎ Ford doesn’t always keep it all bottled up, so then, when you’re finally alone and he got u all to himself, he’s kissing you, but being more rough about it, not like hurting you, but sometimes, i like when Ford gets more dominant and brave in his actions. hand around your jaw, palm splayed across your back, pulling you in. “you’re mine.” he'll whisper right into your lips because hes lowkey getting turned on by your little gasps whenever he tightens his grip. “no one else gets to hear these sounds from you. please, tell me, tell me im the only one.” he always has to ask, always needs to hear it back

ꪆৎ if you ever jokingly mention how hot he gets when jealous, he will hide his face in your shoulder/neck/hair, very very quietly muttering, “you’re cruel, honey, you enjoy making me lose my mind, don’t you?”

[drdemonprince]

do you have any advice on navigating a friendship with a former abuser? they are pretty open about their past when asked although not incredibly initially forthcoming about it, which I think is understandable if maybe not the most,, idk,, straightforward I guess. But I do truly believe they’ve mended their ways and try really hard to do right by themselves and other people, but they’ve garnered a lot of vitriol from their former community (and with reason!!) but that community tries to, rightfully, make sure everyone knows about this person’s past, and I have a lot of guilt around being friends with them even though I do believe that they’re different now, I wouldn’t be friends with them if I didn’t believe that. Anyways, I guess im curious if you have any advice or experience with how to navigate any kind of relationship with someone who has done a lot of prior harm, while also trying to honor and respect the people who they have harmed?

I think that people in that situation are in really desperate need of community, most of the time. It is very difficult to work on yourself when pressure to excise you from every social group follows you everywhere you go, and the stories of what you've done have morphed into an entity that exists entirely outside of you, your victims, or anyone who was actually privy to the abuse that you committed.

It's very reasonable for people affected by the abuse & their allies to want nothing to do with such a person, of course. But there sometimes becomes a broader community norm of penalizing anyone who associates with the abusive person in any way whatsoever, and when you're already struggling with entitlement, boundary issues, loneliness, impulsivity, and self-hatred, as so many abusers do, it's hard not to spiral out further from being rendered that radioactive.

I think by being friends with this person you're doing something important. It is far easier for people to grow when they have social incentives to do so and emotional support. In the care of other people, we see our worth reflected. We learn more about who we are and who we *can* be through the interplay of ours' and others' various selves.

I think the best thing that you can do is to offer a space to this person in your life, if you continue wanting to, and building small spaces for them to find connection with people who are okay with that and feel comfortable doing so. Bring the person along with you into new spaces where they can help people and receive help in turn, without constantly being defined by their most horrible actions. Bring this person along with you to somewhere they've never been, with people who have no issue with them -- do a shift together at the local mutual kitchen or community garden, for instance, or a book club, or include them in a cultural practice that you participate in, and share that with them. Do jail support together, or mail books to prisoners. Take both of you outside of your everyday social context and allow them to exist in a new way, in new relations to others -- including people who, like them, have experienced social ostracism and struggle.

While you're doing that, observe them and see how they're doing. Talk with them afterward about how they feel, and anything they're finding difficult. I will trust your judgement here that the person seems fundamentally changed. Just being there and involved in activities alongside them will help you be on the lookout for any red flags, and I do think there is a degree of responsibility on your part to ensure you're not putting anyone else in danger by being around them, but you can do this in a light, nonjudgmental way, and let them grow into that trust that you're offering.

I have witnessed firsthand how healing it is for people like your friend to slowly realize that suddenly there are people that like them, now, and open up to them, when everybody shied away from them or hated them before. I do think that if someone is committed to no longer being abusive or boundary violating around others, they eventually do need to feel that they are accepted by some community, and seen as on par with anybody else. They can't be treated as lesser or more suspect for their entire lives in every social context. The communities they've already harmed shouldn't have to provide them with that acceptance and room to grow. But I think somebody should.

As always, keep an eye on your own feelings and make sure that this isn't too exhausting for you. By keeping the formerly abusive person separate from the groups they've harmed, you should be able to minimize the blowback you get for spending time with them. Not all of our friends need to be friends with one another, and not every social group in our lives has to make contact. It's okay to include your friend in a running group with a few other people you met volunteering but then keep their name off the guest list for your birthday party because associates of their victims will be there. If your friend is truly contrite over their actions, they will understand and respect that some people will never want to be around them -- and most reasonable community members should understand that who you associate with independently of them is not their business.

There may be some people who take a really hard line stance and expect everyone to ostracize the former abuser no matter what, and so you might be criticized or lose friendships with such people. But so long as you are helping to give the former abuser some social connection that is separate from anybody they've hurt, and you're not pressuring anyone to be around them or doing any apologism for them (which it sounds like you have no interest in doing), then you are not doing a thing wrong, and I think it's beautiful to give someone that space in your life. Navigating this stuff with grace, respect, and compassion is a skill that a lot more of us will eventually have to develop than we realize, I think. Life is long, and over the course of it, people change a great deal and do a great many things they regret. We need to be able to move through these things together somehow.

[eternalartblock]

overanalyzing kyoko's letter because i have nothing better to do

im having a fucking field day out here.

so in case anyone reading this is unaware, campyfire recently dropped these:

there is a LOT to unpack here. i am losing it over the namedrop but i would mainly like to focus on psychoanalyzing kyoko because. i mean this is her letter, plus in context it wasnt really meant to be read by anyone other than herself, so its likely that shes being pretty damn genuine here. which means i get to look at it and read into it and convince myself even further that she is!!! not okay!!!!!!

We hope your adventures haven’t taken you too far.

“we” is likely referring to the rest of her family, so theyre probably alive and present. which is good because i would actually kill someone if she lost her sister and had literally no one else. i really hope they gave her some support at some point because it seems like she really needs it

Since you’ve been on your journey, I've decided to become an adventurer, just like you!

becoming an adventurer is a lot. leaving home and letting go of your old life is a lot. and kyoko did that because it was something her sister liked to do, because it made her look strong and brave and she wanted to be like her. she mustve really, really looked up to her :(((

…I was scared at first, but talking with them made me happy… really happy.

ok hold up. she was scared??? while she does seem scared for them, shes never appeared to be scared of them, so… why? maybe its because they just come off as intimidating to everyone? it could be like how several npcs in the manor thought they looked off. but that was after she first met them, plus they were definitely a doing a lot better back when they only had one sword. i personally think this might be hinting at some kind of attachment and/or vulnerability issues? idk it REALLY seems like shes got some shit going on, especially because of how she lets you vent about your problems but immediately changes the subject once she mentions hers in her manor dialogue. still not normal about that btw.

Things are weighing down on them though, I didn’t want to trouble them…

shes clearly worried about being a burden to player while theyve got so much going on. even though she has literally let them vent to her. while she ALSO had some shit going on. dont get me wrong, i get why she'd think that way, player IS visibly going through it and they dont need more things to worry about. but it would probably be worth it to at least ask if theyd be ok with listening to her talk about everything. theyre her friend, and theyve got quite a few things in common. they would understand.

I shouldn't give up. I know you're out there, so I'm going to be just like you and never stop trying.

aughhhh fuckkkkkk

the thing about having a loved one go missing is that anything could have happened to them. there so many horrible ways for calypso to have gone out, especially since kyoko has ZERO IDEA where she could have gone. and yet, she chooses to believe that shes still out there somewhere, because she knows her sister, and she knows that shes stronger than that. and she wouldnt leave her.

also consider: calypso's an adventurer. it would be normal to not hear from her for a while. so imagine how long it took for her family to even realize something was wrong. calypso has been gone for a very long time.

im glad kyoko's at least coping somehow... still think she should open up a bit, but its better than nothing. i really want her to get the support she needs, because shes clearly going through a lot, despite how cheerful she might appear. also i wanna know more about calypso, it seems like she was super cool.

anyways kyoko is the best and most well written block tales character. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[booliuu]

∘₊꒰ Eyeless Jack Headcanons!! ꒱∘₊

ꪆৎ 𝙰/𝙽 : i’m back!! writers block has been really bad lately and work has been keeping me busy🤕🤕. im sorry about not posting for a while but i’m here to post again!! :DD enjoy my ramblings of one of my favorite crp’s!✨😌 heavily inspired by a bunch of films i was watching last weekend and while watching them , it made me think of jack lol. by the end of the films, i had A LOT of headcanons already written in my notes app lmaoo .

✰ - next creep’s i’m going to write about is either bloody painter , homicidal liu, possibly x-virus!! so keep a look out :3<.

warnings: talks of cults , a bit of bl*od. lmk if i’m missing anything ^^.

my inbox is open for asks!! if you like my content don’t forget to like , comment , & reblog❤️. enjoy reading!

* pictures: from pinterest🩵 (i don’t know the artist for this gorgeous ej fanart but if you do know pls comment!! thx <3. )

💉. . . Full name : Jack Nyras.

💉. . . doesn’t like the name or being called eyeless jack generally speaking because he doesn’t like thinking about his past..

💉. . .so he goes either by jack or ej!! :DD

💉. . . age: mid 20’s (24-26).

💉. . . bisexual!!

💉. . . nocturnal!! he’s not.. (more like never) out during the day because his poor eye sight make him very sensitive to light . buuut..!! most definitely catch him walking late at night around the mansion or the woods.

💉. . . his normal get up is a baggy black hoodie ( bro it’s looks comfy as hell i’m jealous..!!) , underneath the hoodie is a turtleneck , wears black baggy jeans, his mask , and combat boots. ( also carries his signature weapon which is a scalpel ^^ .)

💉. . . i headcanon him that he can somewhat see. lemme elaborate on that rq.

➯ don’t get me wrong it’s not clear at all, sees very little of his environment. it’s very..i mean very burry so he heavily relies on his other senses such mainly his ears , his hands , & echolocation!!

💉. . . gets really bothered by the black goop that comes out of his eyes lol. it pisses him off so bad liiike when he’s working on someone’s wounds… oooh boy..

💉. . . especially when it gets in his medical equipment, the bandages that he uses for the creeps … ect ect..

💉. . . has reallyyy sensitive ears!!.. which means he can hear pretty dang good. like it’s really impressive^^ i’m talking if your one of his victims…. your screwed bro idk what to tell you. your days are numbered by a couple of seconds 😔 until he catches up to you lol.

💉. . . has sharp nails it’s close to claws ngl, that can pretty much tear up anything up easily. such as human flesh…

💉. . . before he come a demon, he was studying in the medical field and trying to get a degree..!! (⌒▽⌒)♡

💉. . . not really knowing what major or department specifically what he should put his time and effort on.

💉. . . so he kept joining and dropping different classes and courses bc he can’t make up his mind .. all he knew is that he wanted to help people and make the world a better place.

➯ however it mostly stems from his parents specifically his mom that had really big academic expectations for him at a young age . growing up he’s very quiet and kept to himself . literally perfect grades and at least knows an instrument that his mom made him learn.

➯ when he got older, his mom pushed him so much to join the medical field ( bc she couldn’t due to her pregnancy ) and if he mention any other classes it’s immediately denied.

➯ his parents didn’t have the best education growing up so when they have there son, it’s kinda thing where they pushed him to make up what they didn’t have.

💉. . . his thoughts mainly consist of if he should become a nurse , doctor, an assistant, or even if this is the right path he should be taking ect.. ect.. he wanted to join other classes & majors but his parents ( who were paying for his school) pushed him to stay in the medical field so he really didn’t have a choice..

💉. . . he didn’t really have much friends nor (except a little friend group he doesn’t see often but once in a blue moon yk?) even interested in dating bc he was really occupied with his own studies to even care about what’s outside of that if that makes sense.

💉. . . ok lemme TAAAALK.. liiike 👉👈 heeear me out yall

💉. . . he was most likely those guys that MANYYY PPL in his college had crushes on😭😭. because he’s cute and mysterious no lie …. manyof them admired him for his knowledge and passion for his projects , his papers , ect…

💉. . . a honest definition would be hot nerd. doesn’t really talk to anyone but only if the professor calls him though , gets work done, doesn’t care too about his looks but ppl think he’s cute but when the professor calls on him.. he can TAAALK FOR HOURS ON GHE TOPIC LIIIKEEE ..

💉. . . FINE SHYYYYTT😮‍💨😮‍💨 he still is lol .. OKOKOK anyways…

💉. . . let’s just saaaay … he had A LOT of secret admires he doesn’t even know about let’s be for reeeeal.. 💔💔

💉. . . anyways back in the topic in hand, he has major trust issuesss.. to the max. for real.

💉. . . like i’m talking it’s going to be a WHOLE while for him even consider yourself as a friend. has a lot of metal packaging. so be ready for that.

💉. . . but once you become his friend or even loverrr, he is very sweet and chill. a bit awkward too lol. will teach you medical advice, care , or random medical stuff that he just learned from somewhere or back when he was in college .

💉. . . he’s giving black cat energy, but in actuality he’s pretty nice once you get to know him. granted he does have a cold and sadstic side to him that he saves for creeps he doesnt like. *cough* JEFF , the rake* cough

ok some angst… we’re going to talk his past.

- ‼️i just want to say i couldn’t find eyeless jack’s original lore post so im sorry if this is not accurate >< !! im wring this based on memory !

💉. . . he become the way he is because his “friend” told him one night while hanging out in his dorm to join him to this festival that’s far away from the town that the college is. heavily suggested ( boarder line forced him-) for him to come visit there “family”.

💉. . . little does jack know it’s a cult… his friend trick him to go because his friend thought he would be a prefect candidate for there ritual …

💉. . . while there, jack didn’t know it was a cult but just thought it was just a family festival that’s comes every so often.. that has very weird gatherings and events happening but he didn’t think much of it… until it was too late.

💉. . . until that night that turn him into what he is right now. all he could remember is everyone is in robes covering there faces and surrounding him in a circle, him tied tightly on a chair and in front of him is a man that has a scooper and bowl.. for his eyes..

💉. . . after his transformation, his friend didn’t believe what he saw and basically ran away. for jack.. he didn’t let that slide. little does his friend know jacks hearing & smell has greatly changed so long story short it didn’t take long to find him .

💉. . . after finding him he k*lled the rest of the cult and join slender shortly afterwards …

end of angst 𓂅₊ ⊹𓄹 . . .

💉. . . now that he’s a demon, his physique has changed from when he was human.

💉. . . for starters , he’s much more taller. he used to be 5’10 or somewhere around that. now he’s standing 6’5 or even taller. oh lord . he even can tower most creeps in the mansion . but he’s not close even slender or LJ’s height.

💉. . . his skin much more darker and grayer, nails are longer and sharper, his teeth.. PH MH GOD it’s much more keen. capable of biting through anything. i dare say it’s much more like fangs. ears that can practically hear your own heart beat /or foot’s steps even though your far away from his reach. basically everything of his anatomy has changed.

💉. . . he knows his hearing and sight has changed for the better (../or worse honestly ), his goal is to not make it his weakness. he knows to many creeps that will take advantage of this.

💉. . . his medical room. don’t get me started. you think it’s messy, smells bad , blah blah blah…. everything is disorganized and cluttered.

💉. . . listen. he didn’t take and paid those medical classes he took in college to come to waste.

💉. . . it’s literally the equivalent of medical rooms that you see in hospitals or clinics in normal day society.

💉. . . liiike every medical supply neatly organized in there own bins tucked away in shelves, emergency kit, it even smells/looks like how an examination rooms that you go for check ups. sterile and a mixture of different kinds of cleaner products he “collected more like stole” bc he can’t stand a mess. ☺️

💉. . . i feel like his hands are really steady. granted his nails are pretty long but that doesn’t stop him from taking his time to make a good stitch.

💉. . . his handwringing depends on the situation. like if he’s in a rush he’ll write like how doctors write medication or proscriptions. ( like it’s very unreadable and scribble looking. .) very messy cursive lol. but if he’s taking his time then it’s really neat and writes as if he’s writing another paper for college even though.. he’s not in school… and uses words that not many creeps know lmfaooo.

💉. . . did i mention he really toned. probably not but now where in the topic let’s talk about it. :D .

💉. . . dudes is so jacked. not gym bro jacked though ew . after the years of hunting victims down and gets the food he needs to survive. missions . all that chasing and running. yeah . basically tone af. can run for lonnnggg while. especially when he’s hungry.

💉. . . cat person. highkey i standby that he pets every single cat he see chillin around the forest.

💉. . . he’s friends with the quiet creeps. such as bloody painter (helen) , liu , hoody (if he passes by the mansion), jane , clockwork , nurse ann and slender. i say slender bc he gifted him seedeater and luvs him so much.

💉. . . doesn’t wears his mask all the time. before though, he doesn’t show it but he’s really insecure about the black goop that leaks out of his eyes.

💉. . . it took him a couple of months or longer for him to register in his mind that he’s demon now. no turning back. AVOIDED mirrors like the plague for a while because he can’t stand that’s him now. :,(

💉. . . in his bedroom he keeps medical books about endless topics in shelves ( in alphabetical order mind you) that takes up some a lot of his space . reads them whenever there’s nothing to do or he’s bored ( which is rare ngl because there’s ALWAYS someone that need medical attention asap or commotion going on in the mansion. )

➯ his room i would say he has two LARGE book cases filled with medical textbooks . a single window that always keeps close and owns black out curtains ( he’s eye sight is a bit sensitive to light.. ) and yk the usual bed , lamp, and corner bathroom where one of his mini fridges is located in a hidden cabinet.

💉. . . his favorite color is deep blue and red. :]

💉. . . he always has stuck ups of kidneys in jars kept in a mini fridge tucked away in his bedroom or his medical room.

💉. . . but in the rare occasions he’s running low on food. he always carries a small scalpel and equipment for stitches with him whenever he’s out looking for ppl to stalk.

💉. . . i don’t think he’s kills them though useless slender tells him too. since he has the medical knowledge how to operate on a human. he only needs a kidney. at least one.

💉. . . once he locked in with a victim. he’ll wait until they fall deeeeep asleep. . and will make his way in by break in a window or door quietly.

💉. . . when he’s near your bed, he’ll flip carefully and cautiously move you to your side. i say carefully bc he doesn’t want you to wake up..! but if you did he’ll knock you right out. it’s quite simple.

💉. . . puts his gloves on and gets his scalp to make an incision on your lower back. once’s he gets there i mean it’s his now kidney, he quickly make a secure stitch that won’t open up.

💉. . . you’ll wake up to the feeling of stitches on your back and lower back pains. then questioned why your window is open until your eyes landed on a bloody sticky note.

💉. . . - it’s written, “thanks for the snack.” . ( hey least he’s nice about it ..!!)

💉. . . but if it’s slender that sends him away on missions, he carries a combat knife. and gets the job done. quick & easy . but if your asking me i think his nails and teeth is all he needs. his grip is s t r o n g. teeth ready to bite on flesh. like you can’t get away from him once he has you pinned down bro.

💉. . . he uses his medical knowledge for the better and sometimes worse i dare say. since he can’t go to college anymore , his education stopped and couldn’t get his degree. so he stocks up on any medical books he can gets his hands on. like i said before he’s very passionate! his knowledge won’t stop from there but will continue to grow as time goes on.

💉. . . puts effort on whatever wounds the creeps have. whenever they come back complaining how in pain there in or there coming to him again. he puts whatever item he has in hand. shakes his head and signs. very quietly. acts he annoyed but he’s not ><.

💉. . . working on there wounds , he mumbles he’ll never treat them again… but that’s a lie. :) he always willing to help them with their wounds. just too stubborn to admit it lol.

𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚜: @/zerowhy & @/aquazero.

ꪆৎ 𝙰/𝙽 : i hope you guys like these headcanons!! as much as i do <33. like i said b4 im working on a bunch of other crp’s headcanons ( this maaay.. become a series who knows lol🧐🧐.) anywaysss liu out!

if you like my content please don’t forget to like , reblog , and comment ^^.

liuuboo2025 ♡ﾟ

[thequietkid-moonie]

Argenti x new knight of beauty reader. (Trainee?? I think idk) a reader who is new to the path of beauty, still learning protocols and fighting techniques, the story of idrilla and so on, maybe she's a bit clumsy with all of it but became quite close with argenti ??? That's all from me

(Ahem ahem are you interested in royale au)

Knight of beauty in-training!reader

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Argenti ]

[ Honkai Star Rail ]

Dear, please remember that i only write for gender neutral reader 🙂‍↕️ and OF COURSE IM INTERESTED ON ROYAL AU!!!

The path of the knights of beauty is quite the lonely one, normally all knights of beauty travel around, always making friends across the cosmos and leaning a helping hand to those who need it but never staying in one place only since the journey and job of a knight of beauty never stops

The knights of beauty don't have troubles accepting more members, after all is a path that will do everything in the name of beauty and if someone is inspired by the beauty of Idrila themselfs there is no way this people would be ignored

It doesn't matter if you had became a Knight of beauty before meeting Argenti or it was him who helped you get involved with the path, what really matter is that he already apreciate you and sees you as someone beautiful. As a fellow knight of beauty he would be more than happy to help you if you need help with your training, knights of beauty are known for being able to appreciate the beauty in all being, carry themselfs with a Code of Chivalry and are exceptional warriors, is something all knights are but it would be totally understandable if you struggle at first, a warrior isn't build in one day

Argenti can talk for hours about beauty and Idrila without getting tired nor hesitated so you are free to ask whatever you want to know, either because you need to learn about Idrila or by simply curiousity you are more than welcome to ask anything and he will answer with a smile

Training with any weapon you decide to use is also covered by Argenti, he is incredibly observant and is able to tell how mastered you are with the weapon of your choice by seeing you practice, good or bad is fine, he still finds not only the perfect compliment but also the best advice to give you to not only carry yourself with grace and beauty in combat but also to improve, he could go from even correcting your posture to just make you small reminders to don't let any open during a battle

Of course, he would not say no to training combat, it is one of the best ways to train and improve since it could be like a real fight but he wait until you feel comfortable enough to do so, it won't do any good to force you to do it. As well, he knows too well his limit and after some training he will know yours too, he knows when to slow down or when go with full strenght while training, and no matter what the results are he will always praise your efforts

If it makes you feel better Argenti would be willing to travel with you for a while, normally knights of beauty travel alone but since you are new in this he doesn't mind at all helping a fellow knight, besides, the more time you two spend together the closer you two become he will even admit how much he enjoys your company

There may be a day where you two would have to part ways, but since both follow the same path of beauty, and as knights of beauty both's ultimate goal is try to find Idrila so the chance of meeting again are high, still he would not only let it to destiny and would make sure you have his phone number before parting ways, you are friends now and if you ever need him for anything, emergency or not, you can count on him without a doubt

[c0unt3rc0m84t]

Okay so Thunderbolts came out. Spoilers ahead and potential trigger warnings. Reader discretion advised

Trigger warning SH

Yelena is perfect. That is all.

In all seriousness I've seen a lot of people talking about this and some had good to say and some not so good. I needed this movie. I think a lot of people needed this movie. As someone diagnosed bipolar and borderline, a lot of things hit. Watching a marvel movie with the big fight being with someone who was deep in the darkness and everyone reaching out to save him was beautiful. The thing that got me the most though was the self harm and self destructive parts. Hearing Yelena the entire movie struggle with direction and watching 3 times as she walks a tightrope with death hurt. The opening took me out. That felt personal. The way she just accepted they were going to be incinerated also hurt. Finally her just walking into the void (which idk if im weird but I still don't really feel like she knew there was a way out or way to save him) just fucking hurt. It all hurt but to actually see someone who I relate to like Yelena just openly express how much she wants to give in was kind of cathartic. Watching her protect her younger self was cathartic. Hearing Alexei (who I've expressed having a lot of anger towards because of the beginning of Black Widow) tell her how pure he sees her and how much he loves her and is trying to be there even though he is a fuckup was cathartic. I've been alone a lot of my life and to see her journey was so beautiful to me.

Yeah there are still some problems. We didn't see Bucky or Alexei or Ava's void dreams and it sucks. I think we have seen enough of Bucky but it would have been cool for him to look the Winter Soldier in the face and confront it even for a second. I dont know if there's much for Ava honestly we know about her past a decent amount. The one that bugs me is Alexei. We don't know really anything about his past or how he became Red Guardian and I wish we had gotten some of that but I think the movie worked without it. It definitely felt Yelena, Bob and Bucky centric and I hope the next one will expand on the others if we get another (probably).

What I really enjoyed though is how the real antagonist wasn't Bob or even Void. The real antagonist was (obviously their own traumas but) Valentina. Having the big antagonist be someone who's just a manipulator for the trauma movie kinda hit. Val sent all of them to kill each other and they became a team instead. I think many people have had situations where a manipulator pointed them at someone and then you become friends with that person and realize the manipulator was manipulating (that felt english). The fact Valentina made him his "best self" and tried to make him obedient to her just to try to kill him when he turned is contrasted with him trying to kill the team at his darkest and they showed him compassion and understanding and empathy and helped him heal the wounds instead of just putting an image over him was amazing. Yeah it felt a little cheesy at times and the conflict being solved with a hug is definitely cheesy but I loved it anyway. It came down to a bunch of antisocials finding others like them and becoming a team.

Honestly I understood why Walker was how he was in FatWS but this movie while not giving him as much as I wish it could have did a good job at showing that he's a soldier first (perhaps a trigger happy one). He doesn't act like a person that much but I think its nice to have kept that as something he finds comfort in. While Yelena was comforting herself and masking with sarcasm for some humor and Alexei masked with being grandiose, John was kind of masking with his soldier roots. I think it was intentional to show how important being a soldier was to him. He lost being Cap and was kicked out of service but he "gave his life for their mandates".

Ghost didn't get much and I think that's a bummer but also to our knowledge her biggest trauma is the fact she could die at any moment because of her intangibility (understandable). I think for her she was just happy to have connection with people. She only had Bill Foster in Antman so I think she needed friends. I hope we learn more and get more depth for her going forward because she's cool and yeah.

I will say I wish Bucky got to do more. Like yes he had some badass fight scenes and was a mood grumpy old cat man style but if they were going to do mental health than I think Bucky should have been the one to help them heal more. I think Alexei was good for Yelena to heal, but Buckys arc in FatWS was learning to heal. My biggest complaint in this was him being reverted back to being grumpy and depressed when he was so happy at the end of FatWS. Him going back felt like a regression. I do think its interesting he's helping Yelena call the shots and clearly I love Yelena but I think where Bucky is he should be the one leading. If he goes out in Secret War or Doomsday I think that's when Yelena should have taken over. Personally I think Yelena needs a bit more time although I do enjoy how they're pushing her to the forefront currently.

Bob was adorable and it'll be interesting to see where he'll go. I dont have much to say honestly he felt like a plot device with some character to me. I think it'll be interesting to see how he fits in with the rest of them with his status at the end.

Taskmaster I think should have gotten a bit of time. I think they could have given us a bit of depth to her and then if they still wanted to kill her do it then but make us feel a bit more for her. That also would have made her death have more of an impact. That's like the other ball I felt was dropped. She deserved better and I think they catered a little too hard to the haters of Antonia in this one. Anyways that's my thoughts on it. Thank you for reading.

[cloudedcreams]

Can we have a yandere who fell in love with reader because she was quiet and gave off the air of some sort of elegant princess or something while also being kind (because she'd look out for the people around her without expecting anything in return, and that includes him. And him being the oily haired, awkward, friendless little freak he is couldn't help but latch onto her), but when he starts stalking her/befriends her (or both), he learns that she's actually really fucking talkative and highkey autistic? As in, stims a lot (constantly fiddling with objects, making strange noises, clapping, shaking her head or the classic, flapping her hands) or info-dumping or poor regulation of vocal volume because he finds her at a point where she's relaxed and no longer masking!

And I say "she" or princess", but if you so please, you can definitely make it gender neutral. I just use feminine pronouns because I'm a girl.

I'm hesitant to write this request though since some authors are hesitant to write neurodivergent characters if they have no prior knowledge, so it's okay to ignore this request <3 I completely understand the discomfort of writing something so unfamiliar. Or, you don't necessarily have to diagnose reader with anything, and simply write them off as someone that acts vastly different when they're relaxed and is free from judgement.

If it's not obvious, I'm an autistic mascot🥰 (dubbed by my friend, lol).

I was going to do this anonymous but then I realised that cringe is dead and I've requested for worse things. Shyent represents!!!

Also, is it embarrassing that I made 2 requests in a day? But then again, how many of y'all are making several requests anonymously🤨

But also, I talk too much!! So additionally, hi, you like jazz? (what's your favourite song this month)

...Atp, you should actually just ignore me.

i love hearing people yap like this lowk lit my soul up a bit like this is so cool of you. you’re epic. 😾

my favourite song this month… ‘nope youre too late i already died’. obsessed with it from the moment it was released last month and after his suicide. literally crazy oh my days, i was so heartbroken </3 rip wifi skeleton. ❤️‍🩹 🕊️

cringe doesn’t exist, i have a fucking yandere blog i genuinely do not judge people at all. PLEASEEE never be shy with requests like i promise you i love hearing the amazing ideas people come up with. and when i tell you waaah this one filled me with joy.

i’m all too pleased to write about an autistic character! …i am… also… autistic! 😂 boo! did the autism scare you! 😂

okay that was genuinely so unfunny it feels like an inside joke but it’s not idk what possessed me to write that oh my days yk that trend where people think autism is all cool and silly, yeah.

on a real note, i received my diagnosis years ago and oh lord 🤦🏾‍♀️. living hell. i’ve become a lot more comfortable being myself and i don’t see it as a negative thing at all. gives me an excuse to use my special interest as a reason for excessive merch and i adore info dumping. autism definitely isn’t the ‘funsies’ that a lot of shitty social media pages try to make it seem like, but i could never see it as anything less than a blessing either. <3

anyways ahahshs corny rant im so tired im deadass gonna crash ill try to have this out tmrw. bonne nuit.💝

[scapegoated-if]

i had a dream that my MC from this game got Mirror-Mine'd (it's another i.f., @if-mirrormine) except went missing for waaaayyyy longer

like it went: MC got to live past Scapegoated's plot and be in one more movie after to completion, and then just kinda.. blipped. and then came back into the world, as if nothing had happened, MC is still in their early 20s, but she looks up and she's now in 2024. she was a missing person's case, a True Crime podcast's favorite subject, they already threw her a funeral, the rights to her music and image and royalties and house and all their possessions have been divided up, her bank account is well defunct by now, her friends that'd been her 20-something age back in the 70s are now all in THEIR 70s as a whole 50-something hears have past or otherwise are fucking dead

and the dream, for whatever reason, focused on her being interviewed by Stephen Colbert. who, apparently, i remember vividly said in my dream "You were always my answer to the question 'if you could have dinner with someone, living or dead'."

and also the US Government was trying to get involved in an E.T. movie way, so the MC was on the tv to announce that they were moving to France and if anything happened to them before then or on the way or someone tried to frame shit as a suicide: it wasnt an accident. something like that

and also the person's face kept shifting bc i guess my brain couldnt decide on who it was, but it was generally either Vince or Penn out of all the ROs (but Shiloh and Leon were thrown in too?), had aged like fine wine and had never re-married or dated after the MC went missing, and was waiting backstage, watching the interview, with their own luggage packed too. i hope they both landed safely, i woke up before they got on the plane. bc the dream stayed on/off at the Colbert interview with? flashbacks?? idk what the other stuff was. but i hope the happy couple made it out of the USA okay

(idk why France of all places would be the move to go to. im obsessed with Eartha Kitt, and she had escape the US government blacklisting her by moving to France for a long time, so i think thats where that came from?)

also i remember Colbert showing the MC all these memes about her re-appearance, but the only one i remember vaguely was about "i dont support celebrities with massive age-gaps. it's weird and creepy/but what about MC and [the being that embodied all ROs and then some at once]'s 50 year age-gap???/tHAT DOESN'T COUNT, IT WASNT THEIR FAULT THEY DEVELOPED AN AGE-GAP, THEYRE SOULMATES ACROSS SPACE AND TIME WHO ARE FINALLY REUNITED BY THE WHIMS OF FATE" and similar type of stuff of people who didnt know anything about the 70s getting obsessed with the MC's lore bc of this time-warp fuckery that Might As Well Happen, might as well be invested in this, like people doing a tiktok trend of "me before i started reading about what happened to this MC person that's in the news now: 😋✌️/me after: 😢💀 mC, MY SHAAYLAAAA"

also the MC was asked about what was their favorite stuff to learn that'd happened since they went missing, like any movie or music, and MC was like "Probably that people like me now?" (icon). also the MC talked about one of "the most horrific things" they had learned: and lectured their generation for being hypocrites and not standing by the principles they had in the 70s (aka: bigots and people who had been disingenuous, like they parroted "Free love" back then and now hated queer people, or protested that there was never any reason for war then yet now supported Isreal), and that the person they were in the 70s would hate and rally protests against the person they had become. that "the only good ones still left from back then, either are now too weak to help rally major change sustainably or had been amongst those whose funerals I missed. I don't understand why the spiteful are the only ones who made it out unscathed and are still full of energy from back then". Colbert was so charmed the whole time, he didnt mind an angry speech featured mid-interview, he was having a great time meeting his idol and she was not disappointing him

idk, man, it was a very disorienting dream. im just telling you the parts that made narrative sense (i think?? i think the MC killed Ronald Reagan? i donT FUCKING KNOW)

anyway Scapegoated × Mirror Mine collab when (im kidding, i swear lol)

this is better than anything that’s going to happen in this IF even though this is basically a timeline in which MC is essentially steve rogers? give me five more

ps. the best promo ive ever seen for an IF and i now will most certainly be reading @if-mirrormine, thanks!

mc in your dream btw:

[velvetvexations]

Since we're talking about forcefem, here're most of the forcefem-related asks I've had in my inbox, some of which are a few days old on account of technically going in the vexatious tag if not exactly kink asks. I wanted to answer one from today on it's own which I'll get to later but I wanted to get to the older ones and also get to a few of the others from today while I was at it.

i just saw a post where a trans guy was showing some messages where someone was (unconsensually) basically roleplaying forcefemming him. despite him telling them that he did not want that and that it was very much transphobic, and he atill got a message boiling down to "you're not a man, silly, you're a girl :D" and. to be honest. this was the thing that stopped the brainworms of "what if the whole concept of transandrophobia is actually transmisogynistic and i am entirely wrong" bc at least some of these people will just say the most bog standard transphobic shit to trans guys and not register it as transphobia. so why the fuck would they be right about anything transmascs experience also on that note thank you for being so outspoken in favour of transmascs getting to discuss their oppression. it's really helpful to see trans women stand with us here, especially when it comes to aforementioned brainworms

congratulations to that transphobe for creating a new transandrobro

the 'forcemasc isnt revolutionary' shit is the most annoying iteration of stupid tumblr discourse. like im going through the tag trying to read some horny shit and oh look. theres someone being stupid and hypocritical. in my horny tag.

people are getting tribalist about kinks and it's depressing

Every time people are saying that trans men & mascs cannot possibly fathom being objectified & fetishized, I think on all of the posts I’ve seen that did that exact same thing. And yeah, some of it might have been kink, so no hate no judgement I dabble in that tag too, but I’ve also seen “get in the dress” type posts that seem to be genuinely calling for trans men to be more feminine, untagged & in the wild, enough where I’m like — am I just imagining this? Like am I crazy? Am I missing something, or was that extremely detailed post about why I MUST stay feminine — or become more — for someone else’s benefit being 100% serious? And, again — if it’s kink, all the power to them, I love that for them, I even occasionally love that for me. But I have encountered enough people who were dead serious that I sometimes want no one but trusted friends & advisors to ever witness me again. And then I look at statistics & feel genuinely ill. And yeah, I’m gnc — and there’s the rub, because while I feel genuine joy being fem as well as masc, I want it to be a Choice, not something forced upon me.

people need to be fucking normal

Yh like ik a lot of shitposts don't have any tags but people have. Really gotta tag forcefem. I've blocked a large amount of people making these jokes + filtered their names n I still see it

I'm sorry, anon. <3

Fuck thank you so much for talking so openly about forcemasc. I’m so dumb I thought there wasn’t a name for that kink that I’ve been into for years, albeit my version is way more weirder. It would be like a… forcemascfem??? Like first it’s forcemasc and then it turns into forcefem and then right back to forcemasc…. And then back to- Idk my gender is weird and my kinky fantasy for that is weird

Cross as many boundries as you want, that sounds rad. Forcefem has a lot of infrastructure to jump off of.

“I’m doing a kink in a non kink way so it’s not kink blog!” Sorry this pisses me off It’s still a kink. Like. If someone made an I-suggest-BDSM blog and tried to claim it wasn’t a kink blog I’m sure more people would see how silly this is but because it’s the transfem approved virtuous forcefem they just let it slide??? Like. You are engaging in a kink and thats fine. You can say there won’t be anything explicitly sexual! But it will still be a kink blog because it’s a blog about a kink! A kink blog if you will! It doesn’t matter if you’re not getting off to it, it’s still a kink! That you are participating in! On your blog about that kink!

It SHOULD piss you off! It's extremely fucking scummy!

what the hell? for like one solid minute(longer than that but i like saying it this way) all the forcefem on my dash was tagged and i could blissfully not have to see it every other post and then just today i had to unfollow a buncha people for an assload of untagged forcefem :/ like im transmasc i think its understandable that i do not wish to see that anyway hope your day is goin well miss velvet

yeah it's praxis to not tag kink anymore

trfs are perfectly aware what the "force" bit means when forcemasc comes up in conversation

strange how that works

[cupcakewebkinz]

oh my god every time i open tumblr and see one of your fics my day becomes so much better like genuinely- idk wtf kind of dark magic u used for that one fic that Vee is a lil paranoid bean but she's terribly relatable and it felt like a personal attack (in a good way) lol. You are such an amazing writer to be able to convey such emotion to the reader holly molly- Many thanks for existing in this community 🙏

here's more cat hcs to express my gratitude once again...

Vee absolutely HATES whenever someone touches her tail. It's the thing that helps her keep her balance and without it she would be even more of a clumsy mess than she already is so she has been programmed to be extra protective of it for safety reasons. That being said, there have been a few incidents where a lil kid would manage to sneak up and pull her tail, and the only reason there hasn't been a "bite of '87: Vee edition" yet is because her handler has always been near and would pick up that murderous angry robot before something bad happened. After some headpats and love from her handler she would calm down ofc- I imagine her only trusting Shelly and Veronica to touch her tail freely. If someone steps on her tail accidentally though, she's going to be really pissed at the culprit for several hours even if she knows they didn't mean to- girlie has a really hard time letting go and moving on (but she's trying her best to get out of this mindset!!!) I feel like Shannon did such mistake once and let's just say Vee would angrily side eye her for the rest of the day, until Shelly talked her out of it lol. If Shelly ever stepped on her tail by accident though her dumbass would be like: "wife hates me?!... wife doesnt love me anymore?!" and be a sad and pathetic soggy mess until shelly showers her with hugs and kisses to apologise mmhmhgmhm

kinda unrelated, but i just imagined Vee chasing her own tail for fun whenever no-one is looking while writing this so imma include it here.

Here's a Shelly hc too cuz i love her. She seems like the type of gal that has cuteness aggression. If you let her hold a baby animal like let's say a baby chick for example, she would absolutely want to squeeze it out of love. Of course, she never harms anything because she knows her own strength. Vee? She would absolutely turn her into a tin can if she could. Whenever she sees her wife doing something she deems cute (which can be something as mundane as literally Vee looking in her way) it makes her want to grab her stupid tv face bite a chunk out of it. Im a firm believer that her love language is physical touch.

-cat vee anon

AGHGH HAI AGAIN CAT VEE ANONNN!!! *waves aggressively*

Honestly so many people seem to be so murdered emotionally from that fic man I am so sorry, I honestly used a bit of my own childhood experiences to help convey that feeling of anxiety because my dad USED TO BE, very strict and terrifying. I put that in caps as he got therapy and is so much better with my siblings- but it still helped translate that feeling of fucking up and getting in massive trouble for doing anything wrong into words. Honestly Shanon promising Vee to protect her at the end like that was inspired greatly by my own mom, who's one of my largest inspirations to be a writer. The more you know! (Also very glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for existing with me here! I love playing the game and messing with these dorks, and I love the community I've been forming around that love and passion for the game too. I genuinely hope I can keep making people happy here!! ♡)

Vee absolutely would be pissed at people stepping on her tail, especially her close friends. I'd love to imagine Glisten teasing her with it tho, like "Ohhhh Vee I'mma grab it, I'mma grab your tail~" and he teases her so much she kicks his knees in for it. Sorry I'm a sucker for Vee being Glisten's best friend, but seriously, he would tease the hell out of her for it. She doesn't bite him because she knows he'll beat her in a fight, but if she could she absolutely would rip him to shreds for it. Though he probably wouldn't do it often, even he knows Vee has limits and won't push them lol

Veronica would absolutely shove Vee into her jacket when she's pissed though, just like "no you're not plotting murder, that's my job you lil twerp" and hold her hostage in her coat until she calms down. She'd absolutely be hit at and have a big baby throwing a temper tantrum at first, but she'd calm down very quickly in her favorite spot. This especially was the case after Delilah told her to stop doing that- Veronica would never stop, it's what keeps Vee manageable during her hissy fits and anger filled tantrums, but she'd have to do it backstage so nobody notices. Vee secretly adores it, and eventually becomes pretty open about this being really comforting to her once Shanon snaps her out of her "I do everything wrong and I need to stop doing anything" phase.

Oh yeah definitely, if Shelly ever accidentally steps on thee most sensitive and important spot on her body, she's a sobbing disaster screaming that her wife hates her and that her life is ruined. She's a massive drama queen, I'm sure people could tell, she's a TV host after all, but Shelly would honestly be caught off guard by just HOW dramatic she is about this. She'd act like it's the end of the world, like nothing matters anymore, while Shelly's like "honey it was a mistake, calm down, you're okay". They obviously make up again afterwards but the most dramatic Vee will ever be is when she thinks everything is messed up, even when... Everything is completely fine and she just needs to calm down a bit. She calms down the fastest in snuggles, which leads to them usually being found cuddled on the couch together and Shelly reading a book to Vee after this mistake is made. Or they're watching a show on Shanon's no longer wall mounted tv. They definitely are cuddling until Vee calms though.

She would absolutely chase her tail during zoomies though, and she'd proudly show it off whenever she catches it. How does it get in her mouth? Delilah only knows! Nobody understands that robot... Not even Vee herself. I love imagining her looking like a proud puppy at it too like a puppy that just learned how to play fetch, she's such an idiot I LOVE HER-

Shelly absolutely would be like that, and absolutely would have 100% self control over said urges. She handles fragile fossils often, so she's gonna have a ton of practice with self control, so she's very gentle and sweet. Though the dinosaur urges still linger, she wants to give everything tight, loving hugs and bite them to leave a mark that they're hers, but she doesn't. Not unless you ask her too, she will bite if you want. Highly not recommended, she could easily bite off a finger. Her favorite things to do instead are hugging, scritching and cuddling with Vee instead, kisses are definitely a great choice too but she prefers maximum touch. However, I feel like Vee wouldn't know what her love language was so she'd be trying everything, and that's why Shelly often brings gifts for Vee actually. Gifts are like prizes, prizes remind Vee of happier days, Vee gets really happy. In the end, Vee likes giving gifts often as her way to show Shelly she cares and loves her, while Shelly gives Vee hugs, kisses and cuddles because that's how she likes sharing her love. That and, let's be honest, Vee is addicted to clinging to that silly fossil.

No injuries on Vee in the Caretaker Shanon au are from Shelly going feral unless stated otherwise 😂

As always, thanks for letting me ramble a bit Cat Vee Anon! Hope you're doing amazing and enjoying the Easter Event! Sorry this took a bit for me to reply to my sister and I were farming, we're desperate for Bassie. Send help. 💔

[luveline]

do u have any advice for feeling hopeless about the future? It's crazy to me to see people younger/my age with so much money like I'm 22 I thought everyone struggle at this phase of life but idk.... when I look at my future I realize I have to be so lucky to afford a house, car and traveling. why go through uni when there's people who never went and have soo much money? Im so scared of being homeless and my friend literally bought a house and she's moving out I just feel like I failed life you know and Idk what to do about that

hi honey!

I want to say starkly that I often feel very hopeless about the future, even just a few days ago I mentioned here that I don’t look forward to the future, that I’m not happy thinking about it. I think university is one of those things where it doesn’t often make a big impact anymore? like for some people it means you’ll have job security in a sector you enjoy, but if you’re like me I doubt my degree will actually make much difference, my sisters hasn’t really helped her, I do think that wealth is getting to a point where if you don’t have some sort of generational income it’s not easy to actually afford a house, a car etc, and that does make you hopeless. I understand why you feel this way (but not trying to imply that university is a farce, it’s always a good thing that we should be getting a further education) . I often think I’m not smart or hard working enough to ever make anything of my life, and while hard work and intelligence do make a difference sometimes, it’s obviously not always the case and that’s tough too. And I understand comparison too because I feel like every time I go out with friends I’m the one who’s poorly dressed wearing clothes from asda while they’re in berksha and pull and bear and stuff, but I think I cope with this hopeless feeling by trying to be fair to everyone (???) Sorry if I sound stupid but what I’m trying to make in this point is that just cos my friends are wearing expensive clothes might not mean a thing, it might just mean that’s the thing they’ve chosen to buy with the limited funds they have (and I don’t mean to erase the fact that some people can’t really make that choice, or shame people for spending their money on what makes them happy). Perhaps your friend has unseen credit cards or loans, or perhaps she is lucky or well employed and has the cash for it, but neither of those answers means that you have failed at life in my opinion! I am also very afraid of homelessness, I think I’m starkly aware that if it weren’t for my mother being willing to have me here I would indeed become homeless right now! It’s hard to feel hopeful for the future when one bad day is the difference between financial security or homelessness.

but! My advice!! Not just my agreement:

I think that to feel hopeful about the future you have to change your mindset. That answer sounds stupid in hindsight: how can you change your mindset when you’re constantly being pushed back or unlucky? And how is a changed mindset actually useful against the threat of homelessness? It really isn’t like a mindset can do that and I don’t ever mean to imply to you that you can think your happy way out of poverty because you can’t, but to cope with the hopelessness part you have to unfortunately try to find a way to cope. That’s really hard to do and I genuinely think it’s brave of you to want to move away from it. It’s really common for people living in poverty or working class people to experience mental health problems simply because the quality of life they’re experiencing is so low, but that doesn’t make those mental health issues less valid or less deserving of help and treatment, so if you did ever want to get some support, you could try long term or short term. I find that I can feel less hopeless after talking to someone about the things that are worrying me, and there are free helplines and text lines dedicated to that! The Samaritans have an email service that I can attest to being helpful and kind, the person who I talked to when I was having a hard time was very understanding and sympathetic, and there are some other ones like SHOUT which is a text line, it’s free, but they’re very busy at night in the UK so if you do want to talk to them you might have to wait a while or try at a different time. I had better luck talking to them in the mornings.

I used to be so hopeless about my future that I was suicidal (and I still am some days) for a long long period of time, and the thing that helped me escape that was one. To stop listening to sad music (it sounds stupid but it helped me personally, not sure if that’s something you wanna do) two. To delete social medias and three. to read a lot of poetry!!! Not that toxic positivity can save you, but to read and to see that other people have felt how I feel and to know they also saw and made very beautiful things is a good feeling. Some sentiments have changed the way I see the world. Like: romance ‘as a medium and not a vehicle’, seeing the world as the sun is setting, a nice laugh, and more concrete things like worrying is to suffer twice, that community starts at home, and that dishes are proof you’ve eaten a home cooked meal. You definitely don’t have to like any of the sentiments I’ve said or believe in them if you don’t want to, but I’m suggesting you find some sentiments to keep you going, not even positive things if you don’t want them to be like that!! And I always suggest poetry or if u don’t wanna read a collection, just having a look on tumblr or Pinterest at what people are saying, something you can think is very beautiful about the world if only for like three or four days! I love having something to think about for a few days when I’m sad. if that’s all shit or useless don’t worry just ignore me! And obviously sorry if it is shit and useless. Another way I’ve managed to not feel hopeless totally about the future is to explore options of things I can control. I may not be able to afford a mortgage, but I could potentially one day rent a flat. I might never meet a partner to have kids with but I can foster if I wanted (not that fostering kids is the same as having them (or not the same, depending on feeling, just that’s it’s so complicated)) to take care of someone. I think the things that you’re hopeless about (things that are linked to money and work) are VERY hard to think positively about, and I don’t blame you for feeling hopeless about them, and I know how super hard and scary it genuinely is to feel like that so I’m so so sorry you’re feeling like this. It’s hard to know you can work very hard and never feel that you’ve been paid for it, and I don’t want to tell you oh don’t worry it’ll be fine because it won’t make you feel better, because you know your situation is an intimidating one, but please know you’re not alone in your hopelessness or your fears and that so many our age are in the same boat. You aren’t failing at life life is just soooooo difficult and unfair and unlucky, it’s not your fault! You are not less deserving or less hard working!! You have nothing to be embarrassed of for not managing the same as a friend has. It doesn’t mean you never will. People say this to me all the time, you don’t have to follow any life plan. I genuinely think that if you can keep trying, you can work toward happiness, and hopefully get some much deserved help! Sorry life is so hard honey!

[zaptap]

a few months ago i checked the hrt informed consent map again and saw that in addition to a planned parenthood near me theres a clinic a few blocks away from it that only does hrt so i feel like it might be better to go to (telemedicine only so idk if i would ever be going there, but if i needed to it's not too far away)

finally a few weeks ago i got the courage to poke around a bit, the link to schedule a visit goes to the telemedicine site, where there's a "book online" button that... does nothing. i click it and it opens an empty window within the page that doesnt ever load anything into it. does the same thing on my phone, and even if i disable ublock (or any other extensions that could be affecting it) and refresh

kind of had a feeling maybe it might be one of those badly optimized sites that doesnt load properly on firefox (the website i use for work was like that a few years back for a while) so today im like ok. i dont want to ever have to use some shitty chromium browser but i would do it to get hrt if i needed to, that's an easy choice to make

so i tried it in edge... and yeah thats exactly what's going on. it doesnt even have a "book online" button it just goes straight to showing the available appointment times, it's like the page loads completely differently? i hate that

so.................................... looks like if i can stop overthinking things so much i could get an appointment as early as tuesday (it couldve been monday if id done it earlier today though). i have that day off and then work the remaining weekdays that week so it's probably a good time to do it, i'm going back to oregon for a week towards the end of july so if it's soon enough that i could have the appointment and prescription by then thatd be really cool

having the appointment be at home makes me a little worried about my mom finding out, but she's told me that if i make that same type of appointment with a counselor she would give me privacy, and i trust her and the house is structured in a way that she should be able to stay far away from me (unless someone comes to the door i guess. but i should hear that), so i think if i just tell her i have an appointment at that time that should work. hopefully she doesnt ask too much about it (i could probably lie and say it's with a new counselor i'm trying out, idk if i could lie through any follow up questions though)

ive wanted this so much and for so many years that it hasnt even felt like it's achievable--the fact i started wanting to be a girl at like 9 but didnt know anything could be done about that for at least a decade has made me way too used to not being able to do anything about it, so it's been really hard to actually adjust to the fact that there IS something i can do

(and then on top of that i live with my conservative family. though im at least fairly certain the worst they would do is not be supportive, and at this point i think i would rather deal with that than keep putting off getting hrt. who knows how many more years it could take for me to be able to move out. i should clarify though that if it did somehow become unsafe for me to live here my transfem friend said she could help me. im 300 miles away but i do have a car)

and the thought that i might actually get on estrogen is so overwhelmingly euphoric that it makes it a little hard to function so that's ironically made it difficult to actually move in that direction. thats one reason i wanted to talk to a gender therapist first but it seems like that might be harder to do, so i guess i might as well jump into this first and figure out what comes next later

[manie-sans-delire-xx]

Had an interesting rare encounter (in the wild!) with another sex worker last weekend when I was with my party friends and I had some thoughts. Welcome to my public brain organization.

Tricks vs Johns.

We first met in the hotel bathroom where I was throwing up before heading up to my friends room (had just tried ket for the first time). I first realized she was a prossie when I heard her and her friend talking outside the stall and she called someone "a trick".

Later in the night at my friends place, she talked about a trick and I said "Oh, a john?" and she kinda stared at me like I had offended her? She didnt say anything so maybe Im just imagining things but idk she seemed a bit miffed. Maybe she doesnt like that term for some reason, or maybe its because I misunderstood and she doesnt full on prostitute.

Anyway, it was kinda odd to me because Ive always called them johns, and I still got what it meant but Ive associated "trick" with the prostitute, not the john- "turning a trick". Oh well, it really doesnt matter. Im just curious why she uses that term. I like john because "john doe". "Trick" implies the prossie, well, tricking the man or taking advantage of him somehow, a ridiculous argument misogynists love.

Talking in the hotel room

(Ok keep in mind for context this was all at like 7 am after clubbing and we were all really fucked up. Words werent always making sense, minds werent clear, memory is hazy. Everyone else had gone home, so in the room it was: me, her, and male friend 1 who were awake and talking. While girl friend and male friend 2 were half asleep/faded tf out on the bed and floor. I was sitting on the bed, her and male friend were sitting across facing me. idk why that matters whatever-)

Anyway this girl would Not shut up. She kept talking about having sex and how much sex she has and how she just had sex and how she cant remember if she just had sex or not (well thats safe). And of course, sex work and her tricks. I think male friend was pretty uncomfortable lmao. He just couldnt leave because his girlfriend was asleep/passed out. So I was curious and figured, fine, lets talk. The party had pretty much died down, there was nothing else interesting going on. I ignored the guys in the room and just spoke directly to her.

(Oh! Ok quick side note. He asked to touch my tights earlier?? And I said um sure then immediately regretted it because I have no boundaries. He asked what it felt like to wear them. I said you could always try them on if youre curious and he kinda nod shrugged but idk...I felt something there. He looked like he was thinking about something. What, is he trans-questioning or something? Anyway-)

-We talked about how with male friends, it always becomes sexual interest, harassment, even assault, or sometimes just "ends up" having sex even though you said no a bunch of times before. I hesitantly said to her, "To be honest Ive stopped making friends with guys. It just keeps happening over and over and over." "I hate men", she had said repeatedly before. Yet when our male friend sitting quietly next to us muttered, "Men suck" in agreement, she was the one to instantly leap and say "no no not all men I love some men" while I sat silently.

-She said her mom KNOWS she does sex work!! Thats mad crazy to me. And of course shes not supportive and is concerned. She says she has a Great relationship with her mom. Damn cant relate.

-She talked about casually doing coke in front of her younger adult brother and he freaked out and started actually crying and asking why (lmao!)

-I didnt ask but her family seems quite conservative, and I suspect not western, probably middle eastern.

-She actually Enjoys sex! She has it for free a lot too. Cant relate.

-Ok she made it seem like she only sometimes has had sex for money and its mostly a hanging out/arm candy/attention situation? (So maybe thats why "tricks".) But she said one of these guys pays her entire rent, so…idk if I buy that girly. And if not, hes probably expecting it and you could be in danger if youre not willing to sleep with him. Men dont do anything outside of self interest. (And if this magical unicorn of a sugar daddy exists, where tf are they at hook a girl up lmfao)

Why do you do it?

She said she doesnt need the money. That kinda surprised me. I would never do this if I didnt need the money.

So I asked her what I really wanted to know- "Why do you do it?" She repeated that she hates men, and that essentially this is her way of "stealing from them".

Sigh...ok. Ive heard this before, I even understand it to an extent, but thats not how it is at all. Thats also the rhetoric of men who hate sex workers. They get exactly what they pay for. They're grown ass men with families and careers, double, triple our age and a million times our wealth. They know exactly what theyre doing, and if they think any different thats on them. Theres no con or stealing. Theyre getting exactly what they want, and if anyones getting used, its you.

I didnt say all that to her, I only met her that day. So I just said I get it.

(I have to say, it was pretty weird having this conversation in front of male friends, even if one was half passed out. I wish they werent there, although maybe its good for them or whatever. At least he was being respectful and didnt start ranting and screaming or something.)

[jihyoruri]

the angst would honestly work so well tho. never asked cause everyone had this happy vibe and i was SO scared of getting jumped.

i can imagine yn becoming aware of how close and comfortable she got with hanni, so she'd just start avoiding her without explanation. poor hanni on the other hand would reach out for the girl during the first days, trying her best to justify her actions, only to get to a point when she just can't do that anymore. hanni would be like a few steps away from depression. staying in her dorm room all day, eating the bare minimum, being too scared to open her socials or to go live, only talking with her friends through the locked door, she would genuinely be a mess. like she felt so good when she was with yn, she would melt all her stress & problems away, maybe they were young but if someone were to ask her she could definitely envision yn in her future. during music shows they would look at each other across the crowded rooms, yn looking at hanni like she just saw her worst nightmare and hanni looking at yn like it's their last day on this planet, both ignoring the people that are talking to them. fans would go crazy and constantly ask why hanni doesn't talk about paranoia anymore or put their songs on live, why her and yn don't get spotted anymore, why they haven't commented on each other's post in a long time, why they haven't interacted in so long in general, and hanni would fight back tears and end her livestreams as soon as the chat would get flooded by these types of questions. maybe i'm too much of a drama queen but i can't help it, i think that at some point hanni's sadness would turn into anger and she'd finally find the will to fight back, she'd try ANYTHING to face yn but the latter just kept avoiding her so hanni showed up in paranoia's dorms. before any of the three members could ask how hanni even knew where their dorms were, she'd ask yn a million questions, only to get always the same answers ("i never liked you", "there's someone else", "it meant nothing to me" all the bullshit like this you hear me?). hanni would grow progressively more impatient, AND HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE she'd slap yn SO GODDAMN HARD, to either hurt her fr or smack some sense into her, or maybe even both (hanni herself wasn't sure on why she did that) before storming out of their dorms. yn would stay still for a couple of minutes that surely felt like hours if not DAYS, not because of the pain, but because WHEN DID HANNI BECOME LIKE THIS)?????)???? but on a side note that would actually make her realize how far she went.

also i think that everyone is aware of yn's personality most of the people just thought about a redemption ark or some shit like that idk 🤔😭

honestly I feel like if hanni was ranting to yn about these things she wouldn’t be like “I never liked you” and stuff you said she would be more like “you knew what you were getting into, I don’t do relationship's.”

imma be so fr if hanni was to slap yn it would literally be an instinct for yn to slap her back ngl LIKE SORRY BUT the way yn wouldn’t hesitate and like she would even shock herself like it was just instinct, like living with boys has really changed her survival instinct and she’s swinging on instinct.

like after hanni leaves and everything the only thing running through yn’s mind is no way she just put her hands on me like let’s actually think about who paranoia!yn is she would def be thinking about that slap more than the reason of the slap like the guys would be like “why did you hit her back?!” and she would be like “because she hit me… really hard it was just instinct IM SORRY.”

honestly I don’t rlly get the redemption arc thing when it comes to paranoia!yn because what redemption does she need? she’s not like wow!yn who can be a complete asshole she’s just someone who’s not comfortable with relationships, you can soften her up but you can’t change who she is yk?

[strawbairicake]

(future me: pls fact check me after reading this LMAO)

HI LIA UHMMM I HOPE ITS ALR TO SEND U AN ASK SBT THIS BUYTTTT

in relation to what the anon said,

1) pls dont go harassing ppl js bc u have free will 😭😭 there r times where we might fet frustrated esp when we see ppl supporting stuff we may not like but its best to educate them and not mock // say things like these !! yeah it may not be “harassment” for u but its still smth that could rain on someone’s parade !! not blaming u :)) js wanna lyk !! (to the anon btw but this is smth i wanna say to everyone here !!)

2) as for the ‘fanart’, im p sure it comes from this animated short !! its an official hyv piece (is it still counted as fanart even if it ws made by hyv n two animation companies 😭😭) along w ‘mihoyoanime’ (hyv’s own animation company iirc) n ‘fantasier animation’ which is a chinese animation company known for working w hyv for several animations ++ other games (i think lmao but its searchable on google HAHHAHAHA) ss below

(PLS I WAS STRUGGLING TO SS THIS)

;so my point is, its technically copyright infringement WHEN u look at it from the outside BUT afaik hyv allows the use of official art if and only if you use it for personal stuff n non-commercial // non-profit ++ implement your own modifications !! (guys pls idk i js based this on their fan merch copyright guide pls correct me if im wrong 😭😭) ++ this counts as leisure n i dont think this contradicts any of d aforementioned criteria LMAO so i think your friend is good )1₱:!,:!& IDK THO PLEASE CORRECT ME IF WVER THERE ARE LAW STUDENTS // MEDIA STUDENTS // PPL KNOWLEDGEABLE ABT COPYRIGHT LAWS CORRECT ME PLEASE 😭😭

3) pls think of it as using official hyv art as a pfp; as long as u dont use fanart as a banner // pfp // anything without crediting d artist !!

(GUYS IDK ABT MEDIA LAWS BUT I TRIED MY BEST TO SEARCH ABT THIS PLEASE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG DONT BULLY ME ☹️☹️)

it may be hard to cross analyze stuff esp when it comes to art n media laws but its deffo much easier to KINDLY point out the issue ++ help them (if u can !!) instead of being vague abt it !! ppl may not think of this as harassment bc its js one message but harassment, no matter how little // vague it is, is smth that causes distress // harm // emotional suffering in general !! n i feel like w the message, lia became quite down so 😭😭 please b careful !!

again i dont mean to sound fake or a know it all or a precher or smth LMAO i mean good things only trust 🙏🙏 this is both a lesson for the ppl here, out there, and myself included (yes i become a hater esp when ppl talk abt politics believe it or not LMAO; i keep it to myself tho bc socmed is dangerous lmao) so yeah !! i hope that even w this long message, ppl will still find the time to read it 😭😭😭

shey, my love!! hiii! i believe the anon was talking about the other banner on my mutual’s profile! but thank you for trying to mediate. surely things will calm down soon, not a huge deal! <33 thank you for trying to help, lovey!