#im trying to get a good draft layout

[fulls]

[hunterbunter3000]

I know damn well gaz is a bottom you can't change my mind 😤

Like dis man makes the beautiful noises when sweetheart fucks him stupid with her fingers or a strap (I know sweetheart got a strap somewhere in her damn room) and he's a babbling mess like crying and moaning loud so sometimes sweetheart gotta use a gag or her fingers so no one hears (but the boys do hear em and they are really jealous and horny) *BANGS TABLE* AND WHEN he rides sweethearts strap this man HHHNNGGG this man will ride sweethearts strap until he collapses.

But sweetheart being sweetheart she does aftercare like running a hot bubble bath for gaz and picks him up and puts his body in and while gaz is in the bath sweetheart is cleaning the sheets and adding fluffly blanket for gaz and when gaz is done sweetheart picks him up and wraps him up in a fluffy towel and dries him up (because I know damn well gaz ain't gonna be walking for a bit)

And let's him wear her clothes that are pretty big on him like AHHHHH cuddles man this man will cling on to sweetheart while she's combing his wet hair HNNGGG and has falls asleep basking in sweethearts warmth.

(Why did I write this much?)

Soap definitely gonna be jelly 🤭

I'm going fuckin insane.

DO YOU WANT ME TO PASS OUT? IS THAT IT??

Good Boy.°

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick × 141!Sweetheart

[Gaz × black!ofc!reader]

Cw.: soft!femdom, overstimulation, dumbification, pegging, cock ring vibrator, handjobs, mommy kink, begging kink (is that a thing? Probably is idk 💀) mentions of scars, horrible attempt at smut, sub!Gaz, Lil bit of edging, praise + degradation, aftercare, cutie cutesy fluff, there's a surprise in here for Sweetheart 🤭 it'll be in pink, jealous ass brats teammates, listening to people getting it on (idk what that's called)

Reader accessories.: Black!fem!reader, she/her pronouns, detailed reader, reader is 6'5, reader is fully clothed fucking Gaz, reader has tattoos and battle scars, reader has long nails, reader has some big ass hands

Word count.: Long. AGAIN. (IDK HOW TO DO A WORD COUNT DAMMIT HELP)

This ain't the best thing 💀💀 but I had to GET THIS OUT IT WAS SITTING TOO LONG IN MY DRAFTS AND THIS ASK IS TOO GOOD AND W O W I RAMBLED ON FOR SO LONG BECAUSE IM NOT GOOD AT WRITING SMUT YET GIMME A BREAK OKAY IM TRYING MY BEST 😭 and i made this LATE like 5 am so i was shit tired and just rambled lol also tried out a new layout on how to do headcanons and drabbles... may like it may not idk ANYWAY ENJOY

18+ MDNI

Minors do not interact with this. Thank you BYE.

This man-- HEHEUAHE YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT GAZ

He's such a bottom for Sweetheart. Like in general

He would always be so shy around her; his chin close to his chest, looking up at her with big eyes and hot ears

And Sweetheart would always eat that SHIT UP

She always has a burning, feral feeling inside her when he acts shy around her. Like she either needs to take care of him or fuck him senseless

And when he just gives into her, gulping before whimpering out a quiet "Yes ma'am." When she gives out an aggressive order.

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP

Sweetheart wants to take him where he stands EVERY 👏TIME 👏

Just jerking him off and seeing him whine and cry- AAAAAAAAA

Sweetheart should NOT think of him that way. That's her teammate. Her friend.

...which she wouldn't mind fucking and breaking his back. And she had enough of this overwhelming feeling everytime she talks to him. She thought he was shy because he was intimidated by her, or maybe because of the height difference (She's five and a half inches taller than him) or that he has a burning feeling inside of him too. Hell maybe it was all three, so she asks him.

It was all three 💀

But his feeling was to be fucked by Sweetheart. Not the other way around.

Sweetheart was in HEAVEEENNNNN

So we're back to the now, and it's been two hours, they're in her room; Gaz naked, bouncing on Sweetheart's pink thick strap, while she's controlling his cute cock ring vibrator. His legs wrapped around her hips, ass slapping against her thighs.

They're both sweaty, sticky, covered in cum and tired. But neither of them can stop. Gaz feels another orgasm building up, and he picks up his speed, wanting to reach it so badly that he cries. His moans get louder, more desperate.

"Fuck! Yes yes yes!" He screamed out, tears flowing out just like the cum spurting on Sweetheart's tummy. She breathes out, hands smoothing his hips. "There we go, Gaz. Good boy. Such a good cock slut for mommy." His thighs and hands shake, mouth spewing broken moans and whines. "More..." He starts to grind on the strap, as deep as it can go inside him. "M-more... please.. I wanna cum again-- wan' cum.. Mommy please!"

His babbles make Sweetheart laugh. "Your legs are probably so tired, baby. You want me to take over now?" He shivers when her pointed nails circle over his sensitive nipples. He leans down to her chest, hips still grinding on the toy and prodding at his prostate. “Yes… yes, please. Wanna be fucked by you. Ruin me, mommy…”

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

Sweetheart feels her heartbeat quicken. The fire in her belly was getting hotter, too hot to control. She growls, manhandling Gaz off the toy to turn him around. She sits up, hands cupping his thighs as she raises her hips to slide back in. Gaz let’s out a long whine as he’s finally full again. Sweetheart doesn’t speak. Carnal desire took over her, her hips ramming into his ass as he screams out. Sweetheart rubs his bottom lip with her thumb before she inserts it in his drooling mouth. “You’re being too loud, hun. Don’t want the others to hear how much of a slut you are on my cock. Now suck on it.”

He sucks hard on her thumb, tongue swirling the pad. Her teeth grazing his neck, lips sucking on his sweaty skin. He’s trying to be quiet, but her thrusts are making him forget any sense he had left. Fuck and he’s almost about to cum, whines getting higher and eyes rolling back. Gaz gasps when Sweets slows down. “Nah-uh, not yet.” She coos. “I need you to beg for it, baby. Beg mommy to cum.” AAAAAAAAAAAA

She starts to grind in his g-spot and her other thumb rubbed his urethra. Babes he was seeing stars.

He can’t really speak as her thumb is still in his mouth, but he rambles on anyway, whimpering please over and over with his hoarse voice. (I have a feeling that Garrick’s voice goes up when he’s overstimulated) “Fuck, you’re so cute. Go ahead and cum for me, Gaz.” Once she picked up her pace and jerked him off, OH he saw the gate to heaven, had tea with an angel and got sent back to earth💀

They breathe heavily. He can't feel his legs at all, and he can't form an actual thought. Sweetheart puts her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "Breathe deep, Gaz. Breathe... There you go, that's my baby boy." They both sigh and she kisses his temple. "You did such a good job, Gaz. Such a good boy for me."

AND THE AFTER CARE OMFGGG (YK THATS ON POINT)

She would hold him close to her chest, their breathing finally in sync as Gaz calms down from his orgasm. He's still moaning and mewling, feeling the pleasure in his veins. Sweetheart looks down at him and sighs with a smile. "You okay baby?" She asks him.

He's still kinda out of it, but her voice brings him back to reality. "Mhgm... M'good. M'so good, mommy..." She giggles at his drunken words and kisses his neck. "That's good to hear. I'm gonna pull it out, okay?" He nods his head. She grips under his knees and slowly pulls him up, Gaz whimpering at the emptiness of his puckering hole. She pecks his cheek and lays him down. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

He breathes out, feeling sticky and hot. He groans out and puts his hands over his eyes. He can NOT believe that just happened. HE JUST FUCKED HIMSELF NUMB?? AND SWEETHEART FUCKED HIM DUMB?? AND SHE'S GOOD AT IT??? How in the hell can he do this but not TELL HER HOW HE FEELS OMFG

She comes back from the bathroom in a white towel. Gaz chokes, seeing the black intricate designs on her arms, connecting to the ones on her collarbone and traveling to her back. He can see black ink on her ankles and some poking out on her hips. She chuckles, "You've never seen my other tattoos, have you?" He shakes his head slowly, like he's in a trance. "I've only... Seen your womb one..." Sweetheart snorts, walking towards him. "Well, you're about to see a bit more."

She scoops him up in her arms, bridal style. Gaz gasps and instinctively wraps his arms around Sweetheart's neck, now secure and being delivered to the bathroom.

Gaz sees that there's a bubble bath ready for the both of them. She sets him down inside, the warm water helping his aching limbs. He sees her towel fly off, looks up, but her fingers snap, and his head immediately whips to the bubbles. "Good boy." She says. (Gaz's mind:FFFUUUUU--)

She slips in behind him and sighs of relief. Gaz clears his throat. "This is uh... it's a pretty tight fit." His shoulder up and caved with his legs half way bent. "Do you want me to get out?" Sweetheart asks. "No!" She chuckles at his quick answer. She leans in, making him gasp as he can feel her hard nipples on his back. And... something else. Metal? Her arms wrap around him while her head rests on his shoulder. "Good. Don't wanna get out yet." She mumbles.

God-- Gaz feels so small with her. Like a shy little man and a giant Amazonian goddess. He can feel his cheeks get hot. Taking one of her hands in his, he lifts it up, eyeing her sleeve tattoo like a kid in an aquarium. He studies it while she watches him. "Y'like it?" She mumbles in his ear that sends shivers down his spine. He nods, his other hand tracing the patterns. "Where did you get it done?" He asks in a low tone, like they're both in a secret place that they're not supposed to be in.

"Back at home. For my 20th birthday. I got this whole piece done for my 20th, actually." She raises her other arm up to show him, his hands going over the different textured skin. "Did you... get tattoos to cover these scars?" When he asked that question, it's like all the sound in the world stopped. He felt like coal dropped in his stomach when she was silent. He was going to speak, to apologize, but she interlocked her hands with his. "I did. There are many tattoos on my body because I didn't want to see my mistakes anymore. So I covered them up."

He breathes out. Thank God she's not mad. But just to be sure-- "And don't you dare apologize." She smiles on his skin, nibbling his neck. He snickers, feeling her kisses all over.

"Wow." She chortles, "Never noticed how small your hands are to mine." He hums, seeing the difference too. (It shouldn't turn him on but wow there he is turned on)

She opens her hands and so does he. The size difference goes crazy 💀 Sweetheart's hand is an inch bigger than his. She laughs, now leaning back on the tub. "You're so small."

Gaz scoffs, turning to her with a frown. "I am not small! You're just really--"

His eyes fall to her chest. He didn't mean to, it just happened. But he looks at her left breast.

And he sees it.

And he sees it.

"You... you have a nipple piercing."

"Huh?" Sweetheart looks down. "Oh shit, I forgot I had that on. But yeah, I do. Just the one, though. Hurt like a bitch, so I just stopped at this." She explains. Gaz can feel him getting hard again. The sparkly, rose gold heart ring shield around her dark nipple was fucking calling out to him.

He frowns. "But I never... see it." Sweetheart's eyes widen a bit but turns to amusement. "You lookin' at my tits often, Gaz?" She says. Gaz snaps his head up, like he's seen a ghost. She leans in, their lips almost touching. She coos, eyes dangerously low and lips grinning. "Didn't know you were the perverted type."

Someone kill him now. He shakes his head violently. "Oh god no! No no no no I was just--" Now he was stammering, trying to find the right words to say to not sound like a creep. But Sweetheart bellows.

"Chill, baby! I was just messin' with ya." She winks at him, and Gaz just wants to curl up in a ball. "But I remove it when I go out so I can wear a bra. Sometimes, I honestly forget about it. 'Specially when we're on a mission or I'm training. And I don't think piercings are allowed on base... so I dont really wear it alot." Gaz nods. That makes alot of sense. She covers her mouth and looks away, mumbling something under her breath.

"And I also don't want Krueger startin' nothin'..." He frowns. "Huh?" Sweetheart looks at him and waves him off. "Nothin' , nothin'."

She huffs, staring at Gaz for what felt like hours. But he didn't move, as he stared right back. Heart beating quick for her next move.

Her hand moves under her left breast and lifts it with a smug grin. "Wanna take a closer look?"

That triggered another three rounds of milking and nipple sucking 💀 (which Sweetheart is now HEAVILY into)

After all that, they both cleaned themselves, and Sweetheart dried him off (because he couldn't feel his legs AGAIN) she carried him and plopped him on her desk chair. He huffs out a laugh. "I feel like a princess, being carried and pampered like this." BECAUSE YOU ARE BABY

She snorts and rolls her eyes, putting on some clothes and gathering the bed sheets. "Wear whatever I have. There's some men's underwear in the bottom drawer." She explains. Gaz quirks an eyebrow. "Why do you have men's underwear?" She shrugs, hands full with bed sheets and a comforter. "For emergencies." And then walks out to the washing machine.

Gaz chuckles, shaking his head as he opens her drawers. Some with bras, some with her underwear (it's in the second drawer, he remembers) and he found one with shirts. He grabs a cream colored sweater and unfolds it, seeing how big it actually is. "Jesus... I'll surely act like a 'girl after doing the deed' with this on." He contemplates if he wants to wear it. (He does)

He puts on some black men's underwear, which surprisingly fits him (bit tight around his thighs) he throws the sweater on and looks in her floor mirror. The sweater covers his underwear completely, and the sleeves are big and long, covering most of his fingers. The collar is wide, showing off his branded neck with many hickies. Sweetheart's hickies. He purses his lips.

"Yeah, I definitely looked like I've been fucked."

"Because you have been, silly."

He turns to the door and sees Sweetheart with new sheets and comforters. Gaz blinks. "That was fast." Sweetheart hums, closing the door with her hip. "I found new sheets in the storage. I'll clean the other ones tomorrow. Right now, I'm tired as shit." She makes the bed with ease as Gaz stands there, trying not to fall with his shaky legs. (Yall he was WORKED in that bath tub)

She dusts off her hands as her head turns to Gaz. She freezes, eyeing him up and down. Gaz feels like a piece of meat under her hungry eyes. He doesn't mind being eaten by her 🤭🤭

She smirks, plopping down on the bed. "I like my clothes on ya."

He grins, arms wide out to show how big the sweater is on him. "I'm like a smurf compared to you." He jokes. Sweetheart laughs, collecting him with her arms circling his waist and his hands rest on her broad shoulders. "But it makes ya look real cute, Gaz." She says with another smirk. (Jeez, she's on one today-- freaking teasing and bold as shit)

He could feel his cheeks getting hot. "Kyle." He murmurs, sitting on her thigh. He has a tingly feeling when he bends his legs, but nothing he can't handle. She looks at him with confused eyes.

"You took my ability to walk, so I think you could also call me by my actual name." He explains. She smiles at him, making his heart speed up. That smile could stop wars.

"Alright then, Kyle." Once she said that, her eyes sparkled. "Kyle." She hums, kissing his neck. "Kyle... Mister Kyle Garrick!" She covers him in quick kisses, making him giggle and filled with warmth. She laughs and holds him tight when she flops on the clean bed. "Kyle. I love saying your name." She whispers, fingers tracing his face. God DAMN she has his heart. His everything. Just- take him. Take all of him. So he can end this longing.

"And I--" Gaz reaches up to her face, thumb tracing her bottom lip.

Say it.

"I love..." His eyes flicker to hers, dark irises studying each other.

Say it. Fucking say it.

I love you. I love you and I want to be yours.

Say. It.

"Love... what you did... for me today. Thank you." ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

She giggles, pulling him into her more, his head against her chest. "Of course, baby. It was an absolute pleasure... pleasuring you." They both quietly laugh, the warm relaxation molding them together. Her nails rake the nape of his neck, sending shivers down Kyle's spine. He sighs, wrapping his arms around her chest and leg around her waist. "Goodnight, mommy."

Sweetheart croons, hand rubbing his back. "Goodnight, Kyle." She mumbles into his hair as she kisses it.

"My good boy."

Lil Bonus.!

When I tell you... that EVERYONE. WAS P I S S E D. Except for Price, because his room is pretty far, so he can't hear all the way to Sweetheart's room. BUT THE REST OF THEM??? WTF they wanted to strangle Gaz istg

Hearing the bed creak and Gaz's loud, whiny moans thru the walls was PAIN. And hearing Sweetheart's low grunts and praises to him? Torture. Bitch it was torture. And you know DAMN WELL that Soap, Roach, and Horangi jerked off from hearing them. Ghost, König, and Alex were too fucking pissed to do anything, even sleeping wasn't an option. (They still had raging hard ons tho) Roach hearing Gaz call her mommy-- AND SHE LIKED IT-- he came so hard he had to muffle his cry with a pillow. Soap now knowing that Gaz is the one getting fucked?? And is enjoying it??? Nosebleed. He got a nosebleed and had to stop masturbating to clean it up💀 Horangi overstimulated himself. Ear up on the wall so he could hear everything that was going on, and his overworked cock spurting out more cum on the wall. There's a thick puddle of cum on the floor as well because he's not stopping. Alex is just pissed that he's not watching them (he likes to watch fucking cuck) and Ghost is just so damn salty and judging everything that's going on in that room ("his moans are so bitchy. Bitch boy. Fucking bottom ass fucker. Taking it up the ass. I could do way better than him taking it up the ass..... wait--")

König was just... listening. Just laying in his bed, looking up at the ceiling with a throbbing, dribbling cock, and just listening to them. (WEIRDO)

Next morning, Soap and Ghost were such BITCHES OMFG Soap was so pouty and had such attitude, and Ghost was so DRAMATIC (THEY'RE BOTH BRATS YOUR HONOR)

Okay that's it, bye LOL

THANKS FOR READING HAVE A GOOD DAY 🙏 LIKE COMMENT SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE (I just youtube'd yo ass 🤭)

[bgomtori]

☆ apple cider - c.bg

synopsis -> where the reader doesn't seem to like beomgyu as much as he does, but secretly she actually does.

-> inspired by beabadoobee's apple cider^^ here

-> music major! beomgyu x art major! reader

-> friends to lovers, sunshine x grumpy trope

-> note! yn may be a little cold and dry, but they'll come to realise!! theyre also a bit mean to gyu. do let me know if i missed out anyth! also im testing out different layouts so pls don't mind me 😞🙏

"ynn!~" you groaned under your breath as you heard the familiar sounding voice call you from afar. you placed your pencil down, removing your earphones, looking at the boy that was now standing infront of you.

"i bought food for us." beomgyu said, with his signature grin that's always plastered on his face. he placed some beverages and bread on your table before sitting beside you.

"project again?" beomgyu asked, trying to persuade you to show him the drawings you've been planning on submitting as a mid year project. you nodded your head, biting down on the bread beomgyu bought for you. you sipped your banana milk as you opened your sketchbook, showing him your thought process, and the planning you do in order to come up with your final piece. you noticed at how beomgyu admired each and every one of your drafts, and planned work, you could basically see sparkles in his eyes.

"you're so good at this." beomgyu complimented, smiling shyly at you, you smiled slightly, thanking him before getting up to make your way to your next class down the hallways. this startled beomgyu, causing him to jump at the sudden movement.

"where you going?" beomgyu pouted, he barely spent any time with you, and now you're leaving him just like that.

"i'm heading to art class." you replied nonchalently, about to head out of your classroom. beomgyu quickly shoved down the last piece of bread into his mouth, grabbing the plastic wrappers he left on your table, chasing after you. you heard loud thumping noises and turned to see what was happening, only to see beomgyu standing directly beside you. you raised an eyebrow at him, as if you were asking him what he wanted.

"i'm walking you to art class!" beomgyu patted your shoulder, directing you to the direction of the art studio. beomgyu rambled on about his music major and how much pressure the teacher puts on them, you listened and hummed in response, making sure he thinks that you're listening. beomgyu happily continued his rambling session until you came to a halt, beomgyu paused too, to see what was happening

"thanks gyu, see you later?" you waved at him bye before heading into the art studio, beomgyu sadly waved bye to you as well. as soon as you weren't in sight, beomgyu's face turned red, he covered his face in embarrassment as he ran downstairs to find his friendgroup.

"oh no.. he's back." soobin whispered after noticing beomgyu's presence coming down the stairs to the canteen. the entire table sighed, mentally preparing themselves to hear an earful of things about you.

"i'm gonna kms, she said see you later, and thanked me for walking her to her class." beomgyu squeeled, smacking yeonjun's shoulder for emotional support. yeonjun immediately groaned in annoyance, forcefully removing beomgyu's hand from his shoulder.

"she's so.. perfect.." beomgyu continued, letting out a dreamy sigh, cupping his face with his hand as he thought about you.

"all she did was literally the bare minimum as friends, she doesn't even bat an eye towards you. you're in too deep bro." taehyun sighed, rubbing his forehead. beomgyu tuned him out, not caring about what he said.

"you don't even act like this when we interact with you normally." hueningkai shook his head, disappointed with how much of a simp beomgyu is.

"shut up kai, you guys are a different story." beomgyu glared at huening, before going back to daydream about how he should spend his afterschool time with you.

"we've totally lost him." taehyun murmured, noticing how beomgyu zoned out, looking at the wall that was behind huening with heart eyes.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

for what seemed like forever, classes were finally over, beomgyu quickly packed his stuff and zoomed straight out of his classroom to go to yours. he noticed that your classroom was dim, he thought you'd already left without him, he sulked a little until he heard a familiar voice come from inside, he peaked inside and witnessed a horrid sight

"oh, thank you?" you thanked, smiling the guy that was standing infront of you. you held onto the bouquet of flowers and the box of ferrero rocher chocolates, the guy beamed in happiness when you accepted his gift. beomgyu grimaced at the boy, he disliked this feeling of jealousy. furthermore, why did you smile at him so brightly when you barely smile at beomgyu? beomgyu's mind was in chaos.

"uhm, i really appreciate it.. but i want to prioritise my studies first." you replied to the boy's confession, you could see his expression falter, but he still thanked you for your honest reply and left the classroom. you watched as he left, before placing the flowers and chocolates down on your table, opening your bag to pack them in. beomgyu pouted, he turned around and walked down the stairs, stridding towards the main gate.

"i know i've heard stuff about yn not wanting a relationship, but i never thought it'd be true.. fuckk, my chance with her is decreasing every minute." beomgyu mumbled to himself as he took small steps, people around him could sense his sad demeanor. beomgyu took out his phone and earphones, placing them in his ear as he played his playlist.

on the other hand, you felt like something was wrong, you thought that maybe it was the weather, and quickly left your classroom. while walking down the stairs, you checked the timing on when your bus would arrive. 2 minutes. your eyes widened, the next bus would take another 15 minutes to arrive, you immediately sprinted towards the bus stop.

beads of sweat trickled down your forehead, you cursed the hot weather, panting for oxygen. you looked up to see beomgyu sitting on the bench, listening to music on his earphones while looking into the scenary. now it hit you, beomgyu usually picked you up from class after school, but today he didn't. beomgyu had already noticed your presence however he decided to ignore it, he can't face you knowing that you wont reciprocate his feelings. he knew that he can't change your feelings, but he really wanted to finally be yours.

"beomgyu?" you called out, he turned his head to face you, you were about to say something to him but the bus had already arrived. beomgyu stood up and walked towards the entrance of the bus, pretending like he didn't notice you. this wasn't like him at all. you tapped your card, following behind beomgyu, you noticed that he took the outer seat, already dozing off in the comfort of the bus. hence, you assumed that he didn't want you to be seated next to him. you sat in the seat directly behind him, you pulled out your phone and bit your innercheek. why was he acting like that? he was usually clingy around you, did you do something wrong? you were sulking, that was unlike you, you didn't really care. you opened your messaging app, tapping on yunjin's contact.

yn ☆ : he's avoiding me.. but why do i feel uneasy

yunjin !! : oh my god, is this the time where i tell you this??

yn ☆ : tell me what?

yunjin !! : you like him.

yn ☆ : ?? no i dont??

you furrowed your eyebrows, no you didn't like him, you promised yourself to prioritise your studies first before a relationship.

yunjin !! : bro, you're in denial. you like him but you're avoiding the fact that you do indeed like him.

yn ☆ : what are you saying..

yunjin !! : look, you feel upset over the fact that he's avoiding you, you always wait for him in your classroom to find you during break. you even agreed to hang out with him despite you hating interactions with men after your ex did you dirty

yn ☆ : oh..

yn ☆ : well i don't even like him that much..

yunjin !! : mhm..?

you looked up from your phone and stared at the boy seated right infront of you. you recalled what yunjin messaged you, you felt your cheeks grow warm. maybe you did actually like him but you never realised it, you mentally slapped yourself, you've been so dry and cold to him, you just wanted to protect yourself from hurting again, but you fell for someone that might actually prove to you that it wouldn't hurt to love again.

yn ☆ : wait.. i do, fuck

yunjin !! : finally you came to your senses, oh my god, now go talk to him and sort things out. goodluck!

yn ☆ : im so nervous.. seen

your bus finally stopped at where you and beomgyu would usually stop at, you left the bus, following behind him. you noticed that he was about to walk in the opposite direction of you, you quickly chased him down and grabbed a hold of his arm. beomgyu's eyes widened as he saw you grabbing onto him, catching your breath while looking up to him with desperate eyes. he felt his heart racing at the interaction as he removed one side of his earbud.

"can we talk? please." you pleaded, pulling beomgyu towards a less crowded area. beomgyu had many thoughts racing through his mind, why do you want to suddenly talk to him? did you finally notice that he liked you and want to reject him?

"why are you avoiding me.." you asked, looking down to your feet, your hands clutching onto beomgyu's uniform shirt. nothing came out of beomgyu's mouth, he wasn't sure as well, his thoughts got to him.

"i.. i finally came to realise that i actually like you, more than i wanted to. i didn't realise at first until today, but now i think i've been giving quite a lot of hint's that i had feelings for you." you confessed, your cheeks growing warm. beomgyu couldn't believe his ears, what? what were you saying, didn't you want to prioritise your studies first?

"in what way did you.." beomgyu asked, he felt himself going haywire, the tip of his ears growing red

"remember you said you liked the jacket i always wore, i don't know if you noticed, but i subconsciously wore it more so that you'd like me." you said, your eyes darting away from his shocked gaze.

"i say that i prioritise my studies over relationship, cause i was scared of hurting again.. but i kind of realised that it's really nice to talk to you, and i'm comfortable around you. you kinda proved to me that there's hope in loving again? so, let's give this thing a try? " you stated, finally asking him whether you could try a relationship with him.

"i've been waiting for you yn." beomgyu smiled, pulling you into a tight hug. you shrieked in shock, but slowly wrapped your arms around his waist, you could feel his heartbeat racing.

"sorry for avoiding you.. my feelings got to me, but i'll prove to you that i won't hurt you, and i'd slowly make your heart whole again." beomgyu reassured you, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, you beamed at him as he intertwined your hands with his, walking you to your home.

"also throw away those flowers, i don't want that boy's stuff hanging around in your house." beomgyu mumbled out loud, you chuckled at him.

"you're jealous aren't you." you teased him, nudging him slightly, beomgyu looked at you in shock,

"shut up, i wasn't."

you hummed in suspicion, teasing him more, he pouted as you joked around with him further. you reached your doorstep, as you bidded him goodbye, you gave him a quick peck on his cheek before heading into your cozy home. beomgyu held onto his cheek as his face turned into a bright hue of pink, he screamed internally, scurring off to his home nearby, opening the boys' groupchat, about to tell them the big news.

[screampied]

holy what.. I gotta know how fast your brain and fingers work to type out fics cause anon with the vibrator suggestion and what you cooked up?? It was TOO good 🫡✨

genuinely, what was the process for you and did you look for inspo to help you write it or did it come naturally when seeing the request?

(I now have plans to make a list of requests lol)

aaaa thank you sm !! ⭐️🙂‍↕️

tbh i think it’s because i type with my hands 🤚🏽 like i literally type on tumblr drafts LOL. i’m a fast typer and i think it’s my nails that makes me type faster also. idk !! i only type on my laptop to like proofread (i still miss errors anyway bc im blind as a bat) but idk i prefer typing on my phone. i should probably stop tho bc tumblr is so glitchy 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ it erased an entire fic of mine and i wanted to quit right there pls. writing on docs is just … awkward and the layout is ugly LMAO i only use docs to check word count! 👾

hmmm the process usually for me is even tho i type fast i write slow bc i have to format + write + take breaks + go back to it + finish + edit / add phrases or words + proofread then post 💓💓 honestly it depends on the character, like if it’s a sukuna, choso, or toji request i’ll finish it within 1-2 days but i randomly pick requests to be fair n start from the bottom of my inbox bc i try to get to everyone !!! 🙆‍♀️🙇‍♀️

but for that choso request i didn’t rly know what to write at first but i just let my imagination roam tehe <3

[sharp-teeth-and-archived]

Get to know the author!

name : Bambi or Eden, most people know me by Bambi

pronouns :  she/her/hers

preference of communication : with the recent layout, probably d.iscord, but I'm open to discussion in the ims. I don't like to communicate through asks because its unreliable.

most active muse :  lt changes all the time, honestly, but usually Astrid, Sean, Cassie.

experience / how many years :  2018 on tumblr, but I've been rping since I was 10 on other platforms.

best experience : Too many to name.

rp pet peeves : I don't necessarily have a lot of pet peeves, but perhaps not giving me much to work with, anon hate, oc and female muse hate, and how sometimes single ship muses are treated. I know the ac fandom and rpc is really small and basically inactive, but I saw a huge dip in activity for Jacob when I made him single ship when the ac rpc was more active. I get it that people want to ship. I do have characters I would like to ship with, but it just got annoying to me on how Jacob was so full of activity, but when I switched him to be single ship, he had like no activity. It just kind of showed me that some people were only into Jacob for shipping purposes when he had all this development and thought I put into him. It just felt really unfair to me. This isn't really the case recently with him, but its just what I noticed.

fluff, angst, or smut : I enjoy all three, honestly. It just depends on the muse. For angst, it might take me a bit to get to things because I need to be in the right headspace and mood for it. I use all three for character development and exploration.

plots or memes :  I haven't been into memes so much, more into continuing them from others because I've been trying to focus more on my drafts. So plots? Maybe? Memes can be a really good ice breaker and a good start to a thread that can be added and worked upon.

long or short replies :  My replies tend to be long, but really long replies can take a while for me to get to because it just takes a lot out of me energy-wise. So those threads are often tackled later. Probably a good medium between short and long? I don't really write stuff shorter than two paragraphs.

time to write:  Recently, day time, but usually whenever I'm not absolutely tired.

are you like your muses : I wish tbh. A lot of the time I pick a muse that is so different from me, or have traits I wish I had. I wish I had Sean's charisma and confidence. I wish I had Evie's intelligence and bravery. I wish I had Hewlett's perseverance. In general, I'm most like Cassie with some of my family dynamics (hers are very, very extreme), some of her traits, and her predicament in life in trying to understand herself and finding connection with others. But I also wish I was more like Cassie.

tagged by: stole it

tagging: Whoever wants to!

[wcrldcfvtlvs]

----- 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑.

NAME: M for online purposes only, the homies on discord know my real name

PRONOUNS: She/Her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord or Tumblr IMs if you don't have me on discord, but you can always ask when we're mutuals! I tend to keep discord a place where we can relax, vent, or simply get to each other!

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: being honest? I don't really have a lot? I try not to take this rp thing too seriously. Just don't be an ass, rude, disrespectful etc. If you got problems with me, address them. I promise I won't bite you or act weird towards you. I prioritize your mental health over writing. So just say things with your chest and stand on business. The most you'd get outta me is an apology and look for/asking for ways to improve.

MUSE PREFERENCE: Female first always, gimmie your females/female presenting muses because lord knows they get ignored on this site, also OC's first as well! Canon's are cool, I rp as a canon character ( @truepcwer / vergil from dmc ), but I wanna see/support more oc's since I'm an oc multi-muse with interlacing stories. Also, I lean towards more supernatural/special ability based oc's! Given this blog and the canon deal with those themes, I am more comfortable with those themes, but I'm always open to human things as long as my characters are respected and I'm not watering them down!

PLOTS OR MEMES: a bit or both! Since I'm starting to figure out my style, I tend to write more and lengthy replies usually come because of plots or a general layout of where we're going. Memes are a good way to break the ice and see if our muses click, and by then I'll jump in discord or IMs to give plot suggestions/dynamic plans for our characters!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Long replies! Mainly because short replies always end up turning into novel length anyway~ but I'm fine with short stuff until it gets longer. It usually just means the muse is vibing with the thread! That doesn't mean you have to match length!

BEST TIME TO WRITE: So typically, I usually write in the dead of night because I can focus better, of course this will change once I go to school again, but for right now I'll usually reply to stuff at night unless my writing partner is feeling motivated then I can write throughout the day! I usually check replies/activity on mobile and save the thread in drafts so I can reply when I have the chance!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: the three main Atlas' are a bit like myself, Rosalie being social and open is like me when I wanna make friends, Tyler is my anger and how I stuff feelings inside and let them fester, also with his music is basically my music, and Victoria with her introverted side. Of course everything is more dramatic for writing purposes but slowly, they're becoming their own people! Some of the events in my muses lives are based on my own experiences and walk of life but more dramatic

tagged by/stolen from: @ghostlyhcurs ( thought it was nice to read, so I decided to yoink it from ya! )

tagging: anyone who wants to the do the thing!

[2023-512kaylawilliams]

Pepeha_mockups_detail + reflection

*edit: I have come to notice while editing these for my draft that there are a lot of missing words and spelling mistakes - please don't mind this :) I am fixing them.

These are my two single page spreads. I am really liking how the one of the right came out. I think it has a good balance of type variation and weight and it's balanced well compositionally. The one on the left I think needs that title in a bolder font to stand out. But I do like the pepeha sitting at the bottom of the page.

I liked how the varying type width worked in this one. It is one of the layouts I forgot to add the English to. But composition-wise I think it works. Im not sure about the Medium body text on the right side though - that needs changing.

This was the first iteration of this layout I had [also one of the first thumbnails I drew as well]. This one is well balanced I think - if anything there may be some legibility issues with word spacing but I'll get a second opinion on that one because I do like it. It also has 3 font variations in the spread which I like. There's a good balance of +ve and -ve space as well.

This is the second iteration of the above double spread. I just wanted to play with overlapping text on two spreads [though I have learned this can be tricky when it comes to printing - its something I want to try and see it works because it does extend the eye over both spreads rather than page 1 then page 2 when reading]. *Possible change could be lining the text around the ō on the second page to see what that looks like. This spread also needs English, unless I put that on the next page in the booklet [space dependant].

This is the double spread where I played around with the idea of using repetition in letters to represent sound. I like this as a first iteration - could definitely use some refining [i.e. filling the outlined character in white or leaving them empty / spacing overall of the words etc.]. The right page does look good though, got more of a poetic feel to it. Paragraph spacing could use some optical changes as well. *Also note the 'a' that is overlapping in the middle of the spread is not going to be like that :)

This one was entirely out of trial and error. It's much more straightforward compared to the complexity of composition in the others. I repeated the centre-aligned text with the left page, which I like the look of - feels well balanced. The bolder text on the right page has a nice flow to it [potential iteration could be moving the tā to the left side - more balanced?].

*Something to note for printing is the potential for needing to slightly realign content to the left or right by a little, given this will be a booklet layout - especially for centre-aligned content.

Final reflection: I'm happy with the first round of iterations I've made, I think they will fit well for my overall vision of the booklet that I have in mind.

[ganondoodle]

Hey, I adore your artstyle mate, I loveeee all the vivid colors and the fact that most of it lacks lines?? You doing the hard stuff, but it paying off 💜

can I ask, as I’d like to get into comic making, how long does it take you to finish a a single panel?

Hi!! thank you very much!! drawing lineart is incredibly frustrating to me so im very glad i was able to make the jump to mostly lineless artwork, tho im very much still at the beginning to learn how to do it xD

to answer your question, i .. cant say really, it depends on what is on the panel, and i always jump around when working on a page, i draw half of the very last panel, then jump to another, maybe i see something i want to change right away and work on the third besides i ... dont know anything about panel composition, i think in movies so i play it and try to pause it on a frame that could work as a panel, whichs is probably why it goes alot slower than normal comics, idk how much to skip gndfjknvgfdjk

im by no means an expert in making comics, you kinda have to find your own way of what works for you, i have done many in the past but all failed, i gave up before getting even one chapter done many times

general advice i can give you is, most importantly, dont wait, i know its daunting to start, but you have to start, even if you dont think you are good enough, you will always change and improve anyway, better start now or you might do it never, and remember, when a page is done its done, i know how tempting it is to go back and redo it, but if you start with that it will only lead to an endless cycle of remaking it over and over

a cause that made me abandon my old projects, was partly lack of support/recognition, but mostly that i was forcing myself to things that werent fun, like one i made in black and white bc i thought you had to do it bc color takes too long, but i live for colors, so it drained the fun out of it immediately

the only "rules" i have set for myself is that its understandable, the flow of the action doesnt flip around too much, speech bubbles are aligned in a way that guides you (of course im not perfect at that either and always learn); i dont jump between pages, i jump between working on panels, but i dont start another page before the previous is at least acceptable, otherwise id get ahead of myself and get impatient, just wanting to skip ahead and neglect older pages; and that i only work on a panel/page as long as it has acceptable quality and is fun to draw, when i notice im getting bored or frustrated i finish it quickly as best as i can and move on, otherwise it might drag the entire project down, which is why each panel or page in 'Destiny' varies alot in quality

i can barely look at the first pages .. or even at the last one i made for that matter, but its also fascinating, how much my art changes within even one update which takes me about a month for 4 pages, since i have set my 'fun' rules at least, it used to take much longer (i wish i was faster, and i could be, but i have a job, and have to look out for my health, both physically and mentally, so i take whatever time i need and draw however much i feel like drawing, no rushing)

my progress so far is that i write a rough script, what happens, what dialog, where it ends, and so on, it doesnt have to sound good, god knows mine are shitty xD but its a good guideline, even if rough! then i make a rough draft, basic panel layout, dialog (it always changes fro mthe script, again its more liek a guideline than a rule ;) ) then i start with actually drawing the first page, my art and way of .. art and writing changes incredibly fast (idk if its for the better lol) so .. by that point i redraw the rough draft version of the page if i see how it works better, rewrite dialog too, and even cut stuff from the rough draft

im not done with the first chapter (im slow af lol), but wrote the script for the second one when my hand was injured and i couldnt draw for a month, once im done with this chapter i will draw the rough draft for ch2, then write the script for ch3 then go and draw ch2 fully, at least thats the plan the more time passes the more i know what the next chapters are gonna be, tho i know the important points long before; right now i have the entirety of the first arc sepeareted into chapters, and the end of it all too, but between there its still a lil blurry and im adjusting everytime i think of soemthing better

anyway, sorry for that long ass ramble, its late and i thoguht about this ask bc im trying to get my want to draw back (not feeling well rn nkfdnkd) so i randomly decided to answer it .. probably in the most unhelpful way possible, alot of stuff noone aksed for lol

anyway, sorry, and goodnight uwu

[inkdemonapologist]

im obsessed with how you layout comics, could you explain your process a little?

Yeah-- I have some process stuff and thumbnails I could share, if that's helpful! My process is usually some variation on

Basic script

Thumbnails

Draw the rest of the owl– I mean, turn it into a comic

So, some examples:

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701219490800730172/938569728220332052/unknown.png

Here’s some progress photos from the recent Escape AU comic with Susie and Sammy – you can see the “script” is literally just me writing down the conversation and fussing with it a lil. If I needed this to make sense to a future version of me I might have more notes on who’s speaking or what they’re doing. I’m usually not thinking about panels or how to fit it all on the page at this point, just trying to get a handle on the beats of the conversation, so sometimes I skip this step if there’s not a lot of back-and-forth.

This is also one of the few comics where I have photos of the “sketch” part of the process, since I ended up inking it.

Thumbnails for me are usually Very Tiny, and there’s two main problems im trying to solve – timing/how to lay out panels, and what is vaguely going to go into the panels. This is also where I figure out if the scene as I currently have it is going to take 127 panels to draw out, and start thinking about what I could cut or combine to make it, like, an achievable length lmao

Here’s the thumbnails for Inspiration:

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/297182360179441664/773404666036879400/image0.jpg

You’ll see some of these are Just Boxes because there’s no big visual info I needed to figure out how to convey – it’s just Thomas and Sammy talking, so I worked out those visuals in the sketch stage. The thumbnails are more for timing – figuring out how I’m gonna space out the dialogue through the page. I like dialogue and tend to have lots of talking in my stories; I feel really strongly that a good talky scene can be just as compelling as a good action scene, if it’s interesting and we’re invested in the outcome.

You can also see bits of these that I changed in every set of thumbnails b/c once you put down sketches sometimes you just have new ideas or get inspired by a facial expression or realise that you need an extra panel for it to Feel Right and tHATS JUST HOW IT GOES,

(Inspiration also has some process shots for the inking)

And some thumbnails from Rebound! This one had SEVERAL changes along the way and sometimes the first draft of my dialogue is never meant to be seen lmao

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/297182360179441664/773406825836052480/image0.jpg

Page 8 had a LOT going on so it got reworked in thumbnails MULTIPLE TIMES:

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/297182360179441664/773407183596552222/image0.jpg

ANYWAY idk if this answers your question but that’s what I have handy!! If there’s something else you’d like me to focus in on feel free to ask!

[thedevilliers]

Hey, I've been reading your story for a while, and I'm enjoying it very much. Following the De Villiers has been so fun, and you've inspired me to create my own royal Simblr!

Can you maybe share some tips about what to do with your royals? I'll be posting my family within the next few weeks, and I have already planned out several engagements + events, including visits to parks/schools/hospitals, parties, and news surrounding a royal pregnancy. I've also planned out the first arc. I don't know what else to do, and I've barely started! If you have any tips related to the beginning of your Simblr that you didn't cover in your other post, I would so appreciate them. I want to get all this nailed down *before* posting, so my blog is the best that it can be.

Also, if you have any advice on how to make things as efficient as possible (especially regarding posing sims, editing/writing posts, etc.), I would love that! I want to cut down on time wasted wherever I can.

Thank you!! :-)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 me?!!?!?! ME ??????? omg 🧍‍♀️ thank u for reading my story 🥺 and AAAAAAAAAAAA your own royal simblr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ill answer everythin under the cut !!!!! spoilers: it got long sorry

first of all, remember we ALL started somewhere. you can look at my first like... fifteen and even MORE posts and they are BAD. oh my gawd idk why i thought they were good, but hey! i learned things from them. you will more than likely change your mind about certain things from the beginning of your blog to who knows, four months from now. don’t focus and worry a lot on ‘perfection’ and setting up ‘high standards’ from the beginning. treat it like a learning curve! this is something we all do for fun, so don’t get stressed a lot on it. you can always change and adapt things and that’s no problem!

i love lists, so im gonna list a few things of advice/tips basing myself on what you said!!!

i personally don't do engagements anymore, so i can't really help you in this regard of even more activities you could do 🧍‍♀️ what i could recommend for people to get to know your characters' personalities and private lives and grow attached to them, add in BTS posts.

continuing on my BTS’ post thing, they are a GREAT way to show more than what the public sees for your royals. because from a press and public point of view, you don't really know 'what goes on behind closed doors'. they could be all happy in public, but in privatE??!??!!?!?

as i said in my starting out guide, i did have around ~15 drafts done before i started posting. just so i could not stress about “oh my god i dont have any posts for tomorrow”. a LOT of ppl do posts and queue them as they go, and they have MANY posts done and usually they start accumulating and they are MONTHS in advance compared to what they’re currently posting. if this method works for you, you can definitely use it!

please, please please read your dialogue OUT loud. is it possible to say a 2093023902 word sentence without a singular use of punctuation? do people in this age and era really talk this way? also please if possible use correct grammar. just a little pet peeve, it can take a reader out of the immersion your story gives them.

we all have our lil dialogue habits. mine is starting sentences with “oh” and the infamous dash “—”. others use ellipses. just make sure you aren’t overdoing it. for example, doing a sentence like “oh— there you are. i was uhm— looking for you. how—how are you? its—i mean where have you uhm— been? yes—ive—ive been fine. you? i mean— your mom” ....just no 😔 it doesnt read well at ALL

you can always do lil filler posts, dont tell anyone tell you otherwise. post a little simstagram post, a little family portrait, updated portraits post, family hanging out, kids hanging out, etc.

for posing sims, i do try and remember where MOST of my poses are in the ingame list. usually creators’ correctly naming the poses helps a lot. for example i need a Mel Bennet pose; hers are usually ALL in the same spot and have the same lil aqua bg so i can easily find them. sometimes, i dl pose packs VERY specifically for a certain scene. am i gonna use them again? no. so i open the .package file in sims4studio and rename them to “00 for emi scene [rest of the og name” so when i open my game, they are around the top of the list! no more scrolling and i easily know what i need it for.

dont be scared to plan things that are happening MONTHS from now or anything in detail. some ppl dont like planning things in detail, or even dont like planning things AT ALL or things that arent happening say, in over 2 weeks because idk, they get bored. i recommend at LEAST having a list of things that HAVE to happen so you have ‘goals’ and you slowly plan out how you’re gonna get there. at LEAST theres some level of planning there. if you’re posting and PLANNING as you go, there’s gonna be holes. and it’s gonna be obvious.

editing wise, i don’t do much. my reshade does most of the work, i just add in my psd, add text and done! this is easily the fastest thing you will ever do.

if you get inspired by someone else doing, idk, a certain layout for the portraits, them adding little things to their captions, a certain edit, etc. if you want to do something similar and you ARE very much aware you were inspired by them, credit them in the caption. i beg. its free, its the nice thing to do, bc if not its rude.

if you get inspired by a certain storyline someone else did and you notice yours is gonna be similar, go ahead and send them a message to let them know and if they have any tips or feel uncomfortable with you doing this. simply put, if you don’t, you’re gonna look bad. we are all bound to do same storylines, such as assassinations, shooty shooty’s, stalkers, first loves, accidental babies, etc. but what changes is how each person approaches it. no ones gonna do it the same way as you and others. if you CONSCIOUSLY start copying else, stop it. and you could even be unconsciously be inspired by someone else too. it happens! just make sure you are able to look at the bigger picture and realize “hey, i’m doing something wrong”

same thing with dialogue. you like a line someone else said in their story? don’t just... steal it and incorporate it into yours word BY WORD

OVERALL: you can be inspired. give credit where it’s due. and don’t copy because someone else is doing ‘something others like’ and you want others to like your story. no no no !

im adding this AFTER i posted it but, be yourself. in the way you interact with others and send questions, etc. don’t try and copy someone else’s personality because they are liked and essentially absorb them. be yourself and i’m sure a lot of ppl will like you the way you are : D

for my writing dialogue etc, this goes back to my point 8. i use milanote, its free and you get 200 free thingies to use, and i plan out how every single one of my posts is gonna go. so i just have to go ingame and i already know what im gonna do. no thoughts, just taking screenshots. for example, this is how a part of my part 2, chapter 3 posts layout looks like. every square is a post that has what is happening, who is in it, what is gonna be said very vaguely, etc:

11. and the most important tip! don’t compare yourself to others. i did it at the beginning. i think we all did at one point. its not good for you at all. please always remember we all are here for share our lil stories with each other and it’s not easy get a following. you’ll get there and its gonna take time. be patient, be nice!!! and i cant wait to see your story!!!!!!!!!!

[michaelarowrites]

Hi hi!! Just finished reading Honor the Words yesterday - SOOOO GOOD! So much LORE! The plot is THICKENING!!! Im EXCITE!! :DDD thank you so much for this story and these characters theyre always so wonderful (genderqueer yumeko & asuka hello!! New godly powers whaaaaat?!! Literally everything with/about youji & that stuff with the characters taking on more power with their godly aspects?!!?!?!)

Im already looking forward to the next one XD how many books are you expecting there to be in the series? 6 for each divinity? (Also are you expecting to get the next book out next year?) Also also, do you have an approximate for how many words these books are? If not no worries ^_^ im just curious

Im rereading both of them now and oh my GOD i cant believe you mentioned the blood ash cult in book one! I COMPLETELY missed that! XD On that note, im looking forward to seeing Akane again! Maybe she'll become an ally oooo... And learning more about Shiori's childhood with the blue dragons.

YOU PLANT SO MANY SEEDS AND I LOVE THEM ALL! THE GARDEN THIS ALL TURNS OUT TO BE WILL BE AMAZING!!

(Akdgskf side note: i cant believe it took me this long to realize the sun moon and star nations are comparable to japan korea and china *facepalm* lol)

I have sooooooooo many thoughts about this world thats mostly just excited questioning about lore and future events XD but theres too many to say or even remember at one time so i hope i can convey it all when i say im LOVING! EVERYTHING youre doing here and i cant wait to watch the rest of it unfold <3333 thank you sooo much!!

Thank you so much, friend!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the book, and I'm very glad you asked all of these questions =D To be honest, one of the most difficult parts of the self-publishing process is that I don't get comments like I would when posting a story chapter by chapter online, so it sorta leaves me at a loss wondering if anyone is reading/enjoying the story. So thank you very much!

And I am always very happy to answer questions about these books! So here I go, in probably more detail than you ever wanted to have =D =D

- The original plan was to have at least 8 books, one for each divinity and then two that were going to be... something else. But I've been working on the third one and realized that it would just be easier if I don't try to confine the entire arc to one book, so now the series is just going to be however long it needs to be =D Although, knowing me, it's really going to depend on how much I enjoy writing these stories and how much people enjoy reading them =) I always write more when I know people want to read more.

- I am in the final stretch of finishing the first draft of the third novel! (it took me a loooong time to figure out how I wanted to end it, so writing this one took longer than it should have). After that it's the editing/beta reading process. My hope is that it would be out early next year, but definitely no later than the summer of 2022, since summers seem to be when I publish them =P

- And yes! I actually have a very deliberate word count that I shoot for-- I aim for each book to be about 60K words long, although I think Shine the Brightest was a little less than that and Honor the Words was a little longer. But my goal was to have these books be as cheap as possible, and the shorter the novels are, the cheaper they are to buy. (The longer the books are, the more the print costs are, so the higher the flat rate for minimum cost). But also, I figured I could finish writing them faster if they were only 60K words long.

- Hahaha, the Blood Ash cult was planted early in the first book because I knew they would be significant later, but it's definitely something you would miss except on a re-read. So thank you!

- Akane returns in the third book! And you find out a little bit more about Shiori's childhood =)

- And hahaha no a map/general layout doesn't exist yet, but I definitely need to make one, because I keep writing in terrain details and eventually I'm going to have to figure out where all the territories are in relation to one another. (In the third book, I mention that the Blue realms are near the ocean, and I had this mental note of "dang you better remember that and come up with a map later" but then I didn't.)

- Hahaha, no, Masaomi's safe sex practices only prevented the other grand dragons from privately assassinating him and making his kid the new Red Dragon. They probably would have killed him regardless. So there you have it, safe sex protects you from assassinations XD

Thank you so much for all your questions and for your enthusiasm, friend =D I'm very happy to answer more!! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy how it all turns out!

[thenamesblurrito]

How did you draft SNAP? I've just gotten to the drafting stage of my comic with my brother but idk if theres some certain way to do it.

it’s taken a bit for me to organize my thoughts on this but I have an answer now, and you might not like it: there IS no some certain way to do it! I’ve been working with comics (and poking into the professional field, too O.O) for a few years now, so I do have some general advice for you-

read comics. really. can’t make a comic if you don’t know what a comic is, and since comics are a very specific medium of sequential visual storytelling, all the elements that make it a comic aren’t easily learned through other mediums. page layout, art style communicating tone, character design, story beats, etc. Scott McCloud has some wonderful books on comics, the Hellboy series is genuinely masterful, and honestly you could reread IDW and call it research. i go back and study my favorite webcomics to try and absorb their excellence: TPOH by @modmad is stunning, @avasdemon is gorgeous, and there’s endless more to browse over at @webcomiclibrary

know your story. this is covered by a Whole Heckin Lot of different places, resources, and writers, so I’ll encourage you to go look at comprehensive help if you need plot assistance. keep in mind that everyone drafts differently! you might need everything plotted out, or you could fly by the seat of your pants. physical writing, digital notetaking, verbal processing, all of it is fine as long as it works for you

THUMBNAIL for goodness sake thumbnail before you dedicate to a page. in fact, make practice versions of everything important. mess with character designs until you’re Absolutely Sure you will be alright with drawing them a bajillion times over and over. but specifically, thumbnails are tiny, rough page layouts. tiny so that you don’t get into any details and you can see how easily the page reads even when small, and rough so you aren’t committing and can keep fiddling. even with pages you’ve had in your head forever, a quick simple thumbnail can help smooth the transition from head to page

there’s other, post-drafting things to consider, like formatting and file size and update schedule and getting it out there, but that’s a whole seminar and I’d like to keep this relatively simple

for me, drafting SNAP was an adventure in taking the puzzle pieces my brain seemed to automatically generate (thank you, MADD) and fitting them together in something resembling order. almost all of the plot and twists presented themselves to me with very little work! arranging them however was a hassle. my episode-by-episode breakdown is uh. a mess. because my drafting process is a stream of consciousness solid block of text. here:

01- Welcome to the Academy! An Upgrade to Primes Orion oh no im late trope, monologue about situation, bumps into megs at front gate as creators are saying goodbye, drags orion inside as excuse to ditch them, cut to trine being weirdos at landing pad, screamers making plans to be awesome but whomp whos that chick its windblade and she can fly in root mode, grr immediate one sided rivalry [... this goes on for awhile]

no punctuation, no capitalization, just wordvomit. not every episode has such specific notes, some just say a general plot hook and some character reactions! this first episode however was daydreamed out until I had a pretty solid series of events

I’m early in thumbnailing right now. wish I was further along, actually I wish I simply had SNAP finished so I could read it myself *sob* BUT. it’s chugging along. my thumbnailing setup is a simple grid I scribble over with new layers for every six pages:

last one is blank because I’m in the habit of arranging pages by side-by-side pairs for printing, since that’s been the usual consideration for the comics I worked on before. you can see how messy these are! and they’re by no means final, either, I think I’m going to have to cut down on some pages once I finish thumbnailing this episode. one thing I have kept in mind for SNAP specifically is anime tropes that I can rip off, hence that fifth page being mostly taken up by Orion running to school with toast in his mouth lol

anyway this got long and I am hardly an expert, still workin on my own comic, but I hope this helps! anyone with more resources, tips and tricks, or advice feel free to chime in too, I’m hardly the entirety of comic knowledge

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[kosmicdream]

Your Comic Baby

You know that comic or story that you made when you were a teenager (or sometimes even younger) that propelled you to really WANT to create it. FOR REAL. You put all your energy towards it, for years, determined that it was going to be the one you HAD to make. But then something doesnt go right because, comics are hard-- so you start over and over and over and each reboot gets a bit more discouraging because you have SO MUCH planned out for this thing and you’re just stuck in the loop of redoing the first 5 pages every couple of years. But something about that story, you just cant let go of. You still want to make it happen because you’ve invested and dedicated so much into it. I know that feeling. I call those stories.. your Comic Baby.

You might have a lot of babies. I know I do. But there’s always this one certain comic baby that i struggle with more than the others. Its a difficult baby because I first made this baby when I was 13. And over the course of my highschool years, I was very outspoken about how i was going to really make this a real book for everyone to read. I was constantly working on it, even taking sketchbooks and clipboards to draw it or the characters in class. People were waiting to read this story because they could see how passionate about it I was. But comics were a lot harder than I thought they would be in my mind. I mean, i knew they would be difficult but it was like my art wasn’t as good as I knew it could be when i drew comics. I didn’t get it. And I’d learn so much and so fast that once i got one chapter finished and ready to read, i didn’t like it anymore.

This process went on until i graduated highschool. This dream of making a comic. Specifically THIS comic. I had a lot of stories i was planning on doing, but there was this one comic i really REALLY invested just. My maximum comic energy into. It was different from the other comics and stories. Not that the other ones werent good, they just didnt have the same bond with me that I had with this story. This comic baby was gonna be the thing i was going to be known for and be the first comic i would presented into the world. And in the end.. it actually wasn’t.

I mean, it was, in a way. Eggshells is a prequel to that baby comic. Set in the same universe. Part of the same story, more like a mini test version reboot of the One True Baby Comic. I decided to give the comics thing another try and started to work on eggshells in August 2011, then to ink in Febuary 2012 and finally started to post it in 2013.. sometime.

I took a really long break from comics between finishing highschool and starting eggshells. I would try here and there, but not getting this baby comic out when i was still IN highschool somehow made me feel like a failure of an artist. I was very hard on myself. I didn’t really know if i was even capable of BEING a comic artist because my comics weren’t coming out how i wanted and I couldn’t finish anything. Besides that, I didn’t even know if I could even make them as a career. (I still don’t know if I can but I know I’m going to continue to try.)

When I decided to start Eggshells, i decided that it would be another attempt at my favorite baby comic because I knew that if any of my stories had the emotional legs to motivate me to get through to the final page-- it would be that one. That special baby comic. I poured so much work into planning and preparing everything in a very tradition sense. Scripts, thumbnails, drawing layouts and props and character turn arounds.. ect ect.

Then the fire happened and I lost my ‘comic bible’ of sorts. The rough draft sketches of the entire thing. It was very sad.

But even before then, actually inking pages was not very fun. Because the process i made for it was .. not very fun. I was running into the same walls that I always had when rendering comic panels. It just was too slow and I couldn’t get a consistent look that i wanted. I wasn’t sure where to put detail (or balance the detail) so I would over render constantly. I would zoom in too much. I didn’t know how much to shade and word bubbles annoyed me. I wasn’t very satisfied and I would spend way too much time on each page.

I felt pretty exhausted after trying to ink it for one year and not even getting through the first chapter. Doubt and old dread of not being capable of a comic artist weighed on my shoulders. Of course then, when the fire happened, i just decided to put all that aside again. My life kinda was.. thrown in a loop.

Similarly, my life has been thrown in another one of those loops. A different kind but still, the same sort of disoriented “where the fuck should i live” kind of things. Some of these feelings have come back, the anxieties and unsureness but.. mostly just remembering about them rather than feeling the SAME things. I have acquired a sense of accomplishment in my art .. just with a totally different comic that came out of no-where. (the worm one, you know.)

My relationship with my art has changed so much at this point and I’m so.. not.. what i had predicted for myself?? Not in a negative way. its just odd. FFAK is such a different comic than i thought I would make too. I would describe the experience of working on FFAK as like, im in a shitty junkyard car and ive decided to slam on the gas as hard as i can and see how far it’ll go. Then it just didn’t stop. It took me on a fucking journey but at 90 miles per hour. No careful consideration, so much explicit violence and sex, aggressive confrontations and social commentary. Sex hat jokes. I really got to see a side of myself that this story continues to bring out. And as I worked on ffak more and more, I would sometimes look over at the passenger seat at the Comic Baby. Crossing their arms judgmentally at me and giving me a look like “Having fun? What about ME? Wasn’t I the important one to you?? Am I not special anymore???”

So sometimes i’d feel bad. And try to work on that one again.. but it didn’t make me feel good. I felt like i had to ride the FFAK wave because that was what was happening in the present and I was discovering too much about myself to go back to this older thing that i had a frustrating history with. It wasn’t that I didn’t LOVE the other story, it just didn’t feel right to work on then. So i just let myself focus on where my energy was wanting to go: The Worm Fucks. And the worm fuck comic is the one people read first. Its the first comic of my own i really got to.. read and experience more than just the first chapter. Its been amazing but its so weird. I feel like its a different kind of artist that makes it sometimes.

I don’t regret the worm fuck comic being the one I’m known for but its still funny to me how easily it might have never happened. If the fire hadn’t taken away so much of my work, I probably would be still slowly pushing out pages for eggshells. Or maybe I would have given up and moved on to do something else with my art career? I don’t know. All i know is what I ended up doing was this weird worm comic that is still going on for .. thousands of pages! and has no end in sight! I didnt even expect eggshells to last 1,000 pages but now I can tell my page-pacing is different than how i expected. I still haven’t even finished a comic yet. Its weird? Am I able to finish comics? I guess I don’t know yet because I haven’t. i might “know” endings to my stories but its very different when actually getting it done. I understand that life is more complicated than that and things like fires can change the circumstances in 10 minutes.

So I’m feeling a fear about this uncertain future I’m facing, I’m seeing that I have to make a lot of huge life changes for where I am going to live and what I have to do to make money to support myself. I’m scared that my routine ive established with FFAK will have to change. I wonder if I’ll never be able to replicate the same exact “throw it all into the wind” energy of working like I was able to.. at least I know I can’t right now, because I need to be careful and calculated again. My surroundings arent stable enough for me to dive headfirst into my projects.

With that I’ve noticed I’m drawing eggshells a little bit and enjoying it like I haven’t before. Is it what I need right now? It feels weirdly comforting to know that, no matter what the history i have with this comic, I’ll come back to it and continue to pick at it a little. it makes me feel like, no matter where I’m going to be in this world physically-- my comics will come along with me and they dont have to leave. they arent a product of circumstance. I can get right back on the horse. Its just part of my life that doesn’t have to go away or be taken away from me. Its a nice secure feeling that there’s this art thing isnt something I have to start over. I’d rather build on what I’ve got and it might take me a long time but I enjoy the journey. That feels good to me.

Anyway, even if I’m scared about where i’ll go from here I know i’ll have my car of screaming comic babies at all different ages that are demanding my attention. and some are more patient than others, i’ve totally ditched some babies along the way that i might pick back up later or merge with other babies through some horrific experiment. I’ll even make some new ones because life inspires me constantly and I have so many problems to sort out and what better way than to project on some cool anime characters. but i love all my comic babies!!!!!! and they love me. i have unique and interesting histories with all of them.

comic baby is such a creepy word but it really feels like they are your strange brain children that are also you. i don’t ever want children of my own, but i can see that i pour.. small small aspects of that i think that energy might be into my comics. (im not pretending its actually the same thing to be perfectly clear.) They take up all your time + energy and make you constantly lose sleep..and they grow distinct personalities that you dont expect and have to deal with.. people will judge you for them and how you “raise” them (make them), you’re endlessly proud of these babies and protective and shed tears for them and want them to SUCCEED and live on forever. you want other people to love them TOO and see the best parts of them, for all their flaws. You want em all to grow up as you hoped or planned but they wont at all. They’ll be totally different but also better than you could have imagined.

Comics & Art are such a special thing to get to experience. While i hope that i can make my dreams a reality with my art, I know that they’ll always be an integral part of my life + how i experience and see life and i’m so thankful ive decided to really let room for it there. Its amazing to me that i almost thought it wouldn’t. and i wasnt going to be allowed to be happy with my art because it wasn’t good enough and i wasn’t enough. but i am. and it is good.

Thank you for reading. -Kosmic

[magnetvrs]

I would love to read your take on modern au jealous hux! If you feel like it?

thank you so much for your prompt! i love modern au so this was really fun to write! im a little nervous about how i portrayed rey in this, please take it as hux seeing her negatively not that i see her that way!

-

The Sun hasn’t risen, the streets are still quiet and darkand Hux should definitely not be awake right now. But he forces himself upright,rubbing at his eyes with one hand as the other fumbles around his nightstand toshut off his alarm. He has grown lazy and undisciplined since he moved out ofhis Father’s home, the years of military precision falling away into somethingmore comfortable. But he enjoys it, takes great pleasure in purging his Fathercompletely from his life as well as the little bit of control that planning hisown day gives him. Also, sleeping is great.

This morning, however, is different. Hux will force himselfpast the pain of getting up so early and the tiredness fogging his brain, forthe greater good. The greater good being Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren is loud, brutish,unmannered and very, very, painfullyAmerican. He’s everything Hux dislikes, bursting through the carefully orderedwalls of Hux’s life. But he finds he doesn’t mind.

Even though they’re in their third year, with deadlines andexams fast approaching, Hux and Phasma still find time to lead the First OrderMagazine Society. This means early morning meetings, fitted around lectures,labs and Phasmas’ brutal training schedule, like this morning. Recently they’vefelt their impending graduation like a physical weight – that not only mighttheir trio be split up, but that they will have to hand over their society tothe second years. So far Mitaka and Finn have been working well, although Finndoesn’t seem as committed as Mitaka despite Phasma’s assurances of his loyalty.It had been fun, even as their trioexpanded, he had thrived off of the love-hate between him and Ren (mostly hateand a lot of arguing). And then at the start of the year, Kylo had brought thegirl.

Rey is forceful, opinionated and won’t bend to any of Hux’swishes. It’s infuriating, the way that her hatred of him is so visible, soobviously displayed on her face and in her actions. And then there’s Kylo’s giant crush on her, so obnoxiously obviousas if he’s throwing it in Hux’s face. The way he looks at her makes Hux want towretch, turns his stomach like spoiled food. Kylo’s still quick to argue withhim over anything and everything – the layout of an article, the photo Kylo’schosen, Kylo spilling Hux’s Earl Grey, but it’s not the same because afterwards, Kylo turns back to her.

And forgets all aboutme, Hux thinks. His jealousy is like a creature living under his skin thatclouds his mind, makes him say or do things he shouldn’t and consumes him. Buthe can’t let go

He puts on a pot of tea to brew while he gets dressed,taking far longer than he would ever admit picking out his outfit –a soft redturtleneck and slim black jeans. He’s determined to look his best, toaccentuate his best features to try and draw Kylo’s attention to him, no matterhow petty it is.

He transfers his tea to a flask and collects his satchel inone swoop, shouldering his way out of the door and down the stairs. Normally hewouldn’t bother to rush so much but the thought of her (and even worse her and Kylo) has his heart racing, adrenalinecoursing through him.

The campus is only a five-minutewalk from his flat, so he’s there before his tea can even get cold in thewinter air, pushing hurriedly into the library. Thankfully it’s warm inside,and he allows himself a small sigh of content as he looks around for his group,picking out Phasma’s pale blonde hair easily. The library is mostly quiet soearly in the morning, a few students hunched over their laptops in variousstages of panic or despair, or completely slumped over, asleep. He takes greatpleasure in stomping loudly passed them, his tea sloshing in his flask andwaking them up, and just managing to stifle his laugh.

He drops his bag onto the table with a thump that startlesMitaka and aims a glare in Rey’s direction that she matches. He can’tunderstand what Kylo sees in her – she’sbeautiful, strong and opinionated but she’s so soft with it, so kind andselfless that Hux wants to gag. He sits at Phasma’s side, needing her presenceto calm the nervous energy he feels around Rey.

Of course, Ren is tenminutes late, loping unhurriedly over to their little table and flopping downonto the edge of Rey’s seat rather than the free chair next to Hux. He lookslike he hasn’t showered in a few days, let alone brushed the mane he calls hairand his shirt is very obviously on backwards, the label sticking out of thecollar. He looks disgusting and Hux istotally in love.

‘Nice of you to grace us with your presence,’ he snaps,letting his jealousy and frustration colour his words the same way that thesight is Ren is colouring his cheeks. Kylo doesn’t even look up at him, barelygrunts a response, too distracted by showing Rey something on his phone.

‘He’s mine,’ he wants to scream at her, ‘you’ve never had todrag him home when he was too drunk. You’ve never seen him at his lowest,crying and destroying his room. You’ve never had him in your bed!’ He wants tograb her and shake her, to scare herbut he thinks that might get him banned from campus. Or more importantly, that might finally tip Ren from aplayful hatred of him, to actually hating him. He knows that Kylo is Bi, thathe likes girls and boys Hux thinks as his heart races, but he’d kind ofhoped Kylo would be interested in one boyin particular.

Phasma coughs, breaking his train of thought and he realiseshe’s been staring, glaring even atKylo.  At the way Kylo’s leg is pressed up against Rey, at the way she’s glaringat him and shoving at his shoulder. ‘It’s not fair’, he thinks biting his lip against the childish impulse tocry and pulling his notebook out of his bag and the draft copy of the sixthissue. He’s about to clear his throat and go over his notes when he sees Kylo standing up and leaning across the table.

‘What the fuck is your problem exactly?’ Kylo’s so big thathe leans right across the table, almost face to face with Hux. There’s a darklook on his face, mouth twisted up into a snarl and eyes shadowed. Something dangerous.

‘You think everything’s about you don’t you! How pathetic!’He bites back, neatly ignoring the fact that Kylo is 100% correct. Thateverything, at least to Hux, is about Kylo fucking Ren. His pulse is racing inhis throat as his jealousy evaporates, turning to anger. This is what he’s been waiting for, a proper argument, a properfight.

‘Pathetic!’ Kyloactually reels backwards as if he’s been slapped and Hux can’t help but smirk. ‘You’rethe pathetic one who can’t see past hisown ego!’ Kylo starts to round the table,his arm raised and Hux finds himself pushing back his own chair and getting to his feet. His heart ispounding, his mouth suddenly going dry.

‘OUT! NOW!’ The librarian is only halfway to her desk her bag still over one arm, just as Kylo is standing chest to chest with him. But evenat 8 am Mrs Organa is a force of nature,her words are commanding with just the edge of a threat underneath. ‘This is aquiet study area! You should know better Ben Solo!’ Kylo visibly flinches ather use of his real name

‘Well yeah I mean, I do like her,’ he has the balls to smileat Hux, so wide it shows off all of his crooked teeth, ‘but I like you too. You’relike super posh and emotionally stunted but kind of hot, too.’

Kylo Ren is all the boys he’s warned himself against. He’s literallythe worst – dirty, self-centred, overemotional and willing to string him alonglike this as if he’s some kind ofplayboy. But Hux finds himself smiling, something like hunger swelling in hischest.

‘You’remine,’ he takes Ren’s hand, threading his fingers through Ren’s larger ones andsqueezing. This time it’s just a warning.  

[rainscribe]

RP Drabble: Letters to Derek

<blockquote><p><b>characters</b>: John Egbert (Jade’s universe, Homestuck), Various other characters<br><b>relationship</b>: John/Derek<br><b>words</b>: 7,491<br><b>location</b>: Monster-au-stuck<br><b>rating</b>: Mature<br><b>warnings</b>: mentions of <i>sexual content/desire</i>, some <i>violence</i> mentions, but not delved into, mentions of an <i>age-difference</i> relationship. rough draft, un-betad<br><b>summary</b>: John goes on a trip to find all the trolls (except 2), and figure out what the hell he’s doing with his life through writing letters to the person his life has centered on for the past months.&nbsp;</p></blockquote>[[MORE]]<blockquote><p><b>june 17</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> so. </p><p> jade said i should write you letters while you were gone and at first i &nbsp;thought that was really dumb? but then a part of me was like, fuck yeah! i’ve never written a letter before. there was no need to, right? yet i always wanted to! even in middle and high school i would try really hard to get pen pals because that was the only way i could write letters. </p><p> those never panned out. /:</p><p> anyway, so i guess i’m just going to tell you how my trips are going! </p><p> </p><p> first of all, i haven’t actually traveled out of state yet? i’m on a bus right now heading out, but jade and dave kind of thought i already left to go to far off places. so i told them! hah. (dave kissed me goodbye. it was terrible. you should kiss me when you get back so i remember what good kisses are like.) </p><p> i get distracted way too much. point is! i met some of the local trolls in this area. and a guy who kind of reminded me of you? but a looooooot younger and clearly has not gone through the same shit as you. and also a guy who was kind of shy but seemed cool. </p><p> then there was this DOUCHEBAG of a SLEEZE. like seriously he was hitting on me the whoooooollllle time i was at latula’s auto repair shop. she was really cool! she knew karkat, this really funny, shouty troll that’s basically married to ava (you didn’t hear this from me, though!) </p><p> wait. do you even know about trolls? like this is not the magical supernatural kind of troll. this is the alien kind of troll with candy corn horns and gray skin. eh, i’ll probably inform you about them before you even get this! if i give it to you. i probably should. the mail should always be delivered to its recipient! </p><p> alright but so there was the douchebag whose name was cronus and he had an unlit cigarette in his mouth? he’s so weird. and he has scars like harry potter but he is such a fraud. i could kick his ass. i would have too! but this guy named horuss (another troll! 0: ) stopped me. and latula. </p><p> there were like these three trolls around the area of the mechanic shop. </p><p> and you know how much of a douchebag cronus was? well, he did kind of introduce me to meenah and porrim who are pretty radical people in their own right! </p><p> he was like, ‘hey john, i bet you want to meet some a grade ladies.’ </p><p> i kind of rolled my eyes, and reminded him that i was taken! </p><p> he was just like, ‘that’s ok, that’s ok. these are trolls. i know how all about trolls you are.’ </p><p> then he takes me out. like to dinner. he literally did. but i couldn’t say no? because he <i>was</i> going to take me to meet some troll ladies. i made sure of that. also, the restaurant he took me to was high grade shit. i feasted that night. and maybe got a little tipsy off of some really bubbly champagne? it was so light, my tongue <i>danced</i>. damn. i really need to remember what it was called? because i want you to try it! </p><p> afterwards, his friends stumbled upon us, singing and laughing on the street towards their establishment. meenah was mad at me for some reason? i can’t remember but she still let me sleep on her couch. she’s very prickly towards me and then she stuffs my face full of pancakes. it’s hilarious. porrim is a bit more mature? but then she kicks everyone’s ass at mario kart. even latula! it was hilarious. </p><p> then she and latula

got in a cuddle pile while meenah and cronus hooted before getting kicked out. it was kind of awkward to stick around after that! so i grabbed this bus, and i’m taking it down to las vegas. B) </p><p> ill tell you all about it! im really more interested about the magic shows than the gambling, although, i’m curious to try my luck. o:</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>note: i wonder how good rose would be at gambling? </p><p>note 2: the champagne was called ca’del bosco cuvee prestige brut, franciacorta for future reference! </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 19</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> heh i almost wrote deer. deer derek. that would be the exact opposite of what you are. so cute i’d eat you all up. and out. in a sexual innuendo-y way? </p><p> damn. vegas is... not the best place to go alone? it basically throws it in your face that you’re a loser and alone. there’s strippers in pretty much every gambling house, and it’s like yeah ok that’s nice and all, but my boyfriend is so much hotter and i’d rather see him stripping? not that i stayed and watched. it was... awkward. uh. yeah... </p><p> the magic shows were really cool, though! although... most of them weren’t reeealyl magic. but that’s the cool thing! theyre pretendin g to be magicians through sligth of hand and like foolin everyone. it’s ridicuoulously funny! i hahaha m laughi n too much. everything is hilarioius. hilarious. hiclarious. </p><p> shit im too durnk to finsh this. looooovvev you</p><p> wow that was embarrassing. i actually fell asleep on this letter. i’m so glad i’m not handing this over. this is amazingly embarrassing. las vegas is cool but bring a friend. moral of the story. </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 21</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i met kanaya. </p><p> i feel like that should be a sentence in and of itself. its importance is there on the table for you to take it up, or just let it stay. </p><p> in this case you’re going to pick it up because kanaya? is so amazing. like you’re amazing, but then kanaya is Amazing. she uses a fucking <i>chainsaw</i> to do like tree designs? she is a lumberjack in disguise as the classiest sith in existence? i feel like rose would have fun trying to figure out how <i>that</i> happened. </p><p> speaking of rose she’s the one who told me to go meet her? as a favor for jade who knew karkat who is a worry wart. literal worry wart. he is a wart. </p><p> but kanaya fed me and made me tea and was very nice in general even when i trolled her and she had nooooo clue! i pranked her.</p><p> i know it was wrong. it’s bad manners to prank someone in their own house! but she was asking for it, derek! she was so... so... like okay she is sassy. the SASSIEST. but then she like stands so upright and makes you feel like you’re wearing a potato sack. which i would look amazing in. kanaya is just jealous that i can make a potato sack look good! &gt;:) </p><p> i just HAD to prank her. and when the bucket landed on her head... she blushed SO HARD. i took a picture. i sent it to karkat. his reaction was JUST AS HILARIOUS. like look at this shit:</p><p> Karkat: JOHN. I’M GOING TO POLITELY ASK YOU TO FUCKING BLOCK ME FROM YOUR PHONE. FOREVER. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. </p><p> he actually blocked me! i can’t believe it!! rude!!! </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 23</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i’m in texas!! </p><p> i feel like i had to write you a special letter from this special state that you were in for like... twenty years? nineteen? i’m not even sure how long you were here for. </p><p> anyway, so karkat finally unblocked me. long enough to school me in why it was rude to send bucket pictures of someone he regards as a friend (and maybe more?? he didn’t make it very clear.) to him. i guess it threw him in such a good yelling spree that ava says i’m banned from their house. :( </p><p> i’m waiting at the airport right now. my flight should be here in a bit. i’m going to florida because that’s where the zombie apocalypse is going to start and i need to know the layout of the land, but

it’s kind of boring here.</p><p> annnnd i may be in a grumpy mood because all of these people meeting and hugging is making me irritated. maybe it’s because i know i probably won’t get a similar greeting from you? that’s gross, i know. ew, john, pda. besides, jade and dave will greet me. </p><p> maybe i’ll kiss dave. show him how a kiss should really be!</p><p> not in front of willow, though. the poor child. we must protect her from the pda.</p><p> my flight isn’t for another hour, and i’m so bored. i don’t even have anything interesting to write about except that i’m in texas. maybe i’ll draw you something? </p><p> [insert badly drawn art of a wolf]</p><p> hahaha that fucking sucks. sweet bro and hella woof. </p><p> [new drawing of sweet bro on a hella jeff wolf]</p><p> look at this fucking amazing drawing. it should be in l’ouvre. right? right? </p><p> ... </p><p> what... </p><p> the fuck... </p><p> WHAT THE FUCK, DEREK. HOW DID DAVE’S SHITTY WEBCOMIC TURN INTO A MOVIE. I WAS JUST LAUGHING ABOUT THIS, AND I LOOK UP AND THERE’S SHITTY JPEG PIXELATION OF SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF ON A BILLBOARD. </p><p> how did his webcomic make it to this world??? IS YOUR LIL BRO RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SHIT?? what the hell. what has come over the world that they would pay twenty bucks to see his webcomic come to life. holy shit. </p><p> oh. well... that was an interesting way of wasting an hour. i’ll talk to you later.</p><p>love you, </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 24</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> FLORIDA IS TERRIBLE AND AMAZING ALL AT ONCE. </p><p> seriously, though? fuck florida. i’m pretty sure everyone i met is secretly a crocodile. especially this toothy detective i stumbled upon. quite literally. </p><p> i was just minding my own business being a tourist and she comes over like you just committed a crime! and i said what? because i’m pretty sure i wasn’t even JAYWALKING. </p><p> and she said that she was pretty sure loitering around like a bumbling dunce was a crime in her jurisdiction and i said well if that’s the case then you should arrest yourself! (ooooooo!)</p><p> she laughed. swallowed her donut. (whole! the whole fucking thing. i am not even lying. you can see it in action yourself!) then went to her police car, which was actually being driven by someone else. she’s blind, you see! which makes no sense on how she would know i was loitering!</p><p> here i was hoping florida would be nice. :( but i guess it’s true. all floridians are secretly crocodiles. </p><p>love, </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 25</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> terezi pyrope is terrible. utterly. terrible. </p><p> you know what the first thing she said to me was? like after the whole loitering business in the previous letter. she said, “ew, smells like dog.” and then she pinched her nose. </p><p> like seriously? how rude! i mean, at that point she kind of knew i was a werewolf. </p><p> see. she, well, she... alright! she fucking caught me naked, and was like that’s illegal and profane, get in the car. cause i guess she’s a cop detective. whatever. see what happened was... i didn’t have a hotel to sleep in? and i was like no big deal! i can live in the great outdoors in fucking florida and be fine! that was SUCH a stupid idea, derek, you have NO idea. first off, let me repeat myself. FLORIDA IS TERRIBLE. there’s CROCODILES, and SNAKES, and all sorts of evil things. why i thought it would fun sleeping outside instead of in a hotel, i don’t know, but i won’t make THAT mistake again. </p><p> and you know what i did that was even worse than that? i shifted. i took off my clothes and shifted. when i woke up in the morning, i was butt naked and terezi fucking pyrope had my clothes held hostage. she was in jogging clothes then so i guess she was taking a morning hike in the park, and she spied me. then she waited until i woke up, and made the comment about how i smelled like dog, and that i was violating public decency laws!!! </p><p> she almost threw me in jail. :( </p><p> your boyfriend is a criminal, i am so sorry,

derek. </p><p> but i got her back! for the smell comment, i mean. </p><p> i was like well you smell like a bug so that must mean you’re a troll! </p><p> she laughed, and took me to out to eat after giving me back my clothes. i got her up to date on what happened with karkat, and she asked about the guy whose glamour i had? i couldn’t really tell her much about that, though. just that karkat gave it to me, and that had her frowning. like she was concerned or something. beats me!</p><p> she made some unnecessary rude faces at me, too. but i eventually convinced her to move to seattle because i’m awesome. and she told me that there was a troll up in canada that i should find? (i’m on a plane heading up there now!) she chuckled evilly, so i’m not sure if i trust her or what. </p><p> also i’m actually not sure what bugs smell like? but that’s what trolls smell like. why does your universe have so many bug humanoids? even my alt is part bug. which is kind of weird! because i can’t imagine myself being a fairy. although, the fact that he’s a lightning bug is pretty cool. they’re charming bugs. if i had to pick a bug, i’d pick that. but it’s still weird!</p><p> and i kind of wonder what dave’s bro was like in my universe! if i would have liked him like i love you. but from what dave has said, he kind of sounds like a total dick, and in the worst of ways, despite the way dave tries to make it SOUND positive. like i understand that he doesn’t want his guardian to sound terrible, and wants to treasure the memory, but he kind of is terrible! and abusive. and manipulative. (i don’t think i could love that kind of person.)</p><p> but your dave said that he was getting some memories from my dave, so i wonder if you’re getting memories from his bro? i hope not. you’re supposed to be going through therapy to help you with your control. not needing more therapy to help sort out any fucked up memories that might have you confusing your own experiences. especially with dave. because i know that argument really had you questioning how you treated him! but i trust that you aren’t as bad as his bro. i <i>know</i> you’re not. </p><p> honestly, though, sometimes i wonder why my dad lived while Rose, Jade, and Dave all lost their guardians and had to go through some sort of social services. like! i know i was adopted, too, but it happened when i was really young so i barely remember anything. when rose’s mom died, rose lived by herself, and actually did well maintaining the lie that her mom hadn’t died really well until she came to school drunk once. </p><p> they found out everything then, and forced her to stay in social services until they found a good family (impossible when she was fifteen and no one wanted to adopt a kid that old), or until she was eighteen, and they couldn’t keep her. </p><p> then you have dave who went through a couple of terrible people, and decided, fuck it, and escaped. of course, he ended up in a gang. </p><p> jade said she ended up getting emancipated from the system. but that was after going through a couple of people, and being able to live off her inheritance. </p><p> huh, rose received an inheritance, too. i wonder why dave didn’t? </p><p> anyway. this letter has gotten kind of long and rambly, so i guess i’m going to cut it off here. the plane is landing soon in new york too. after that i will be in the country of the ‘eh!’ also, maple syrup. i should buy some and mail it to the house! yeah! </p><p> we’ll make pancakes when we’re both home! see you later!</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 28</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> man! new york is so cool! i went and saw the statue of liberty, and went up in the empire state building. it’s <i>amazing</i>! i was so high up!! i wish i could fly. it would be sooo cool. why aren’t there any <i>flying</i> werewolves? </p><p> even dave can fucking levitate, but you don’t see him doing it that often! it’s a waste of being able to levitate! :( </p><p> but!! i did see a magic show, and people did some moves through the air. they were attached to a

cord, i think?? (unless they were supernatural! O: ) and yeah they did some neat things. i want to do neat things like that. like fake flying. fake magic. i wouldn’t mind any of it at all. although <i>real</i> flying would be better than fake flying. </p><p> oh, and there were a couple of other places i stopped by?? i actually decided to take a bus from new york to canada because i wanted to see niagra falls! it was being advertised as one of the biggest falls in the u.s.? even though it’s really not that big. they’re just long! but it was really cool. i even got to go behind the falls and got a rinky dink yellow rain jacket for my time. </p><p> there were a lot of people getting married there, too. or proposing. i guess it’s a really attractive place to proclaim your love to someone? huge ass waterfalls in the background and a diamond ring to tell you i will love you for as long as the waterfalls remain. </p><p> i wonder what would happen if the falls collapsed. would their love vanish? would their hearts break? this is why you can’t rely on physical things for love. not even the stars last forever. jupiter might, though. didn’t shakespeare do a sonnet about love? do i compare thee to a evening something or other. shakespeare died but his sonnets (and plays) will last forever.</p><p> i don’t think i’ll be able to write something so powerfully gay to you, so i won’t. because i can’t write. i’ll leave that up to rose.</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>p.s. don’t ask rose a general question like, did shakespeare write sonnets because she will chew your head off and read all of his sonnets to you.</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 30</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i don’t... </p><p> canada... </p><p> ... </p><p> i... words are escaping me. </p><p> like tavros. TAVROS. is just as bad as terezi. he is terribad. but in this nerdy way that drives me up the wall. no wonder terezi was smiling evilly!! between her and tavros i’m at my wits end with these trolls!!! </p><p> at least terezi was willing to move to washington. tavros was like ...hahaha... that sounds interesting but if you’re gathering up all the trolls, then i think not. and he goes back to playing the troll equivalent of poKEMON!!! </p><p> and when i said that humans came up with pokemon first, he was all, trolls have been around longer than you have, so i’m pretty sure we came up with it first. </p><p> i just can’t believe him!</p><p> i’m so fucking glad i’m leaving canada!! </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 2</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i stopped by... well. your house as i was passing through on my way to hawaii! well technically, i’m on my way to japan. but i’m going to hawaii first! it’s going to be awesome! </p><p> but i saw jade, dave, and willow on my way through, and it looks like they’re all doing fine! willow already has a tooth cut through and she’s looking really adorable. she has a lot more hair now. and her eyes have set on taking after dave’s. it’s about time some features of his started showing through. the harleybert genes are strong. B) </p><p> i missed being there surprisingly! your bed still smelled like you. it is pretty big. hard to get all of your manly smell out of it no matter how hard i rolled around in it and tried to cover it up with <i>my</i> manly smells. :) </p><p> it was actually difficult to leave! for like a day. then rose was like, john you must be in japan at this certain spot when the aligns to meet the next trolls, and i was like ok, cool! japan seems awesome. this seemed important! </p><p> see, what i’ve kind of been doing with this trip is getting an idea of where all the trolls are at. they don’t necessarily have to move to washington (and if they do decide to do that, we’re having them live with mom!), but we’d kind of like to know a more specific location on where they’re all at. and maybe get updated contact information, lol. </p><p> i think rose is even creating a group facebook so we can all keep in contact! which is a pretty fucking good idea. oh, and jim john is also working on it, too. so is

the other rose? they’re all very good at the whole predict-y thing. i don’t even know sometimes. they just tell me where to go, and i go. that’s all. </p><p> not too much excitement going on right now, though! so i’ll talk to you later. after hawaii B)</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>p.s. i’ll make sure i take a hot picture for you! B) </p><hr><blockquote><p>[Postcard with the Hawaiian islands on the side. Attached with a paperclip is a picture of john in regular clothes by a volcano. fireworks are going off in the background.]</p><p><b>july 4</b></p><p>derek! </p></blockquote><p>hawaii is fantastic! wish you were here! i hope you enjoy the super hot pic! xoxoxo</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 9</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> hey! i’m in japan right now! i am extremely sadden that there’s no anime japan. i was seriously thinking i’d see totoro here!! i’m so disappointed. </p><p> heh, just kidding. but japan sure is different than what i expected. i dunno. i guess it’s just the language barrier that got to me? that oh i really am out of my country feel. it’s a good thing we didn’t go here first, or you would have worst off. cars are backwards AND a different language you can barely understand? it would have been bad, pfff. </p><p> it’s still really amazing, though! i went to tokyo tower, and saw some of the sights. i ate ramen in a ramen booth and felt like naruto for a minute. that’s where i met rufioh! he’s a pretty chill dude. doesn’t seem to have much backbone, but i liked him. and damara! i liked her, too. she seemed pretty nice despite the illegal amounts of weed she smoked. is weed illegal in japan? </p><p> i don’t know. but yeah she DEFINITELY did not want to come back. when i even suggested it, she gave me the vilest look, and if it weren’t for rufioh, she’d have... well. done really bad things to me! </p><p> there was a summer festival going on, and i didn’t have a kimono, but i got to join in. damara looked really pretty in a kimono! she took it off shortly after it started and i think some people were kind of scandalized. not because she was naked, but i guess you’re supposed to look kind of nice for these festivals? and she was definitely wearing a very short school girl outfit with her midriff showing. she seemed pretty happy, though. i kind of feel really sympathetic towards her? for some reason? </p><p> anyway, they let me stay for a little while, and showed me some of the other neat things about tokyo. it was nice. i liked learning about the tokyo you don’t often see about in anime. i feel like you would enjoy japan if you became more comfortable with traveling? i even bought you a shitty samurai sword, and shipped it back home. </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>p.s. don’t tell my dad, but i tried the weed.</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 12</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> hey! i’m going to be doing a lot of traveling between here (tibet) to maybe europe? yeah. there’s just a lot of take-offs and landings that’ll be happening and shit gets boring, y’know? i have a long flight from here to california, though, so i’m hunkering in for a nice little ride. </p><p> i hadn’t even considered that i could have been asking for first class tickets. sometimes it startles me that jade has SO much money that we could just... not even pay attention to what we’re buying and just buy a fuckton of stuff that’s like hundreds of thousands of dollars, or more! we could buy a fucking island and we wouldn’t even notice that it took a nice skim off the bulk of her money. </p><p> one thing jade told me was that even for as much money they have, we’re still accumulating money, too? from the investments and stocks that were purchased, too. like her grandpa had a really good mind to money! </p><p> also i think she’s taking an interest in checking on what companies we have stocks in, and seeing what we can do to change those companies for the better. she’s always thinking about the future and about what can be done better. it’s amazing. sometimes i wish i had about a sixth of the motivation she has. i haven’t really felt

like there was anything for me to do. i feel like i’ve been so GROUNDED that i don’t have any room to go forward or that there was anything i wanted to do. </p><p> i guess... i feel like i’m stagnating. i’m not flowing or moving or learning or... growing? as a person. as a werewolf? i’m just growing duller and more inactive everyday and it’s driving me up the wall! </p><p> it’s funny because i have been traveling, but the more i’ve been traveling, the more i feel like i’m not getting anywhere. </p><p> ... </p><p> i saw kankri yesterday? i guess he’s related to karkat in some way, but i don’t know. he’s definitely not how i pictured a relative of karkat’s acting? other than the never shutting up part. </p><p> he turned down the whole move to washington thing, but told me that i should go to niger. so that’s where i’m going now. </p><p> i’m tired. </p><p>goodnight,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 18</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> hey. </p><p> sorry i haven’t been writing. like i said... there were a lot of planes to change, and i mostly slept on my flights. i saw terezi again for a little while. crashed on her couch between a flight from california and a flight to morocco. she said she hoped i liked nepeta and that she’d chew my head off, hopefully. </p><p> she was packing up, too, and showed me some younger pictures of glamoured, and unglamoured karkat. it was cute. </p><p> i sent the pictures to ava who was more than happy to receive them, but karkat banned me from the house, so i’ve officially been banned by both members of that household. i feel sort of accomplished with that. </p><p> after terezi’s, i went to morocco, which is absolutely gorgeous. the architecture and colors are divine. the market is really fun. i haggled with a couple of vendors, and manage to get some souvenirs shipped back, too. i make really good investments!</p><p> nepeta was as cute and dangerous as terezi deemed her to be. she’s a werelion? but she only shifts when leo is in the sky. she can’t shift during any other time frame. she had fun hunting me down. i thought i was being fucking stalked by a literal lion, not a fake shifter lion (don’t tell her i said that, she’ll chew my head off). you’ll get to meet her. she said she was interested, and after i gave her some money for an airplane, she decided to head that way. </p><p> then i went to egypt. i saw the pyramids, and didn’t get too taken advantage of. (who am i kidding. they took complete advantage. i can’t hide the fact that i’m an american tourist no matter how dark my skin is. i honestly don’t even mind that much, although i’m pretty sure they thought i was as dull as a rock.) they really like tea in egypt, too? which is kind of surprising, but it shouldn’t be. like basically anything non-western is all over tea, and westerners are all over coffee. pretty funny, considering how tea is supposed to be better for you anyway. </p><p> egypt is hooooooooot, too. not hot like texas hot which is also kind of a wet and humid hot that makes you feel like you’re suffocating, but a heat that’s just really hot. which... is really weird to say. it doesn’t make you sticky, just sweat a lot. i can kind of understand why they wear a lot of clothes now! the clothes contain the coolness of your body in the heat, and also keep the sun off you. which is really good! but i didn’t stay in egypt for too long. i went to greece next, because nepeta asked me to check in on someone very impurrtant to her. </p><p> he worked at a museum in greece which, yknow, showcased the greek statues and shit. at first, he didn’t seem all that interested, especially when i didn’t show proper respect to the relics of the ancient world. (which is funny because under his breath he’d mutter about how even what we considered to be great achievements for humans, they had very little on alternian achievements, especially in the fine arts.) yet, the moment i mentioned nepeta’s name he fucking clams up, and is like oh great master egbert what can i do for you? if only you’ll tell me where she’s at. </p><p> so i told

him she was in washington, and i saw him run off to his work office to put in his two weeks, or tell them he was quitting or something. i don’t know. i kind of didn’t care at that point? i was just glad that it was taken care of. </p><p> so that’s what i was up to until now, basically. it’s all been rather boring despite the sites. i’ve taken to couch hopping, and whenever someone tells me i should go somewhere, i just go? because what else am i going to do? </p><p> i haven’t really heard anything from home, so i guess this will work for now. </p><p> there’s a beer festival or something happening in germany tomorrow. i’m in austria right now, but i think i’ll stop by and see if anything catches my interest. </p><p>love,</p><p>john </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 20</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> heheheeeee i’mmmmm drunk agian. i met thsi girl trlol named vriask and we haad a fight! but with abeet bert. beer. tryin ta out do each other ykonw? </p><p> and now i’m crasshed at her uh </p><p> place? </p><p> car? </p><p> i dunno what it is. too big ta be a car??? i’m so confusde. anway dont matter. what mATTERS is the iMPORTANT things in lief. and how much i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vv vv ve ya. is that enogh v? i think so. </p><p> viraks was tellin me abutt how she lovd the tavroos guy. idk why he sucKS but like shhe did? idk toot drunk to make out waht shes talkin’ about but it was funny. i think? i think everything is funny right now. </p><p> except how fukcing turned on i am and how ur not here. i mayb cry bc your not here to help my bonr. but not really. just cry cause im lonely which is wierd. casue brskira is here yknow? </p><p> id kiss you allllllllll over and jsut touch. idonteven want ta get off. nah thats a lie i toets do.hahaha vriska just belched gdo shes hialarioous. </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 28, 4pm</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> it feels weird not writing to you for so long! i’ve kind of been busy. and vriska won’t let me write to you when i’m drunk! (thank goodness, to be honest.) </p><p> i thought i was going to be so bored in europe, but i’m like the exact opposite! it’s great. and a lot of that has to do with vriska.</p><p> she has all these irons in the fire, and she asks for my input too, but i’ve kind of been traveling with her. she’s been helping me out a lot, too! she said i looked utterly pitiable and that i should be lucky that she’s going out of her way to help me. </p><p> i know that sounds kind of mean, but vriska has such a personality that it’s hard for her to be nice to anyone if it doesn’t look like she’s gaining something out of it. it’s funny how hard she tries to make it look like she doesn’t care. </p><p> we’ve been to so many places, derek, it’s hard to believe. europe is pretty. it’s done a lot of recovery since world war ii but you can see where it’s still affected some areas. we mostly avoided those areas. vriska said they were lame. </p><p> so! we went and visited a lot of neat places. mostly breweries. vriska really likes beer for some reason? even in italy she just wanted to go to the wine houses! which was fine because while she was at the wine houses, i went to venice. i <i>really</i> wish you could see venice some day. it’s beautiful. there’s canals everywhere, and statues of different beings. </p><p> i would have thought with it being such a magical looking place, there would be a lot of supes there? but it felt... static... of any magic. there was nothing really supernatural about it. i guess that’s because when people go there, they’re ready to believe anything. even if it doesn’t fit in with their world. </p><p> we watched a bunch of wrestlers in rome. vriska gambled on a bunch of different teams, and won us a lot of loot. she didn’t seem happy when she learned that i was only bumming it around because i was bored, and not that i was actually broke. she got mad? like the money she made wasn’t important i guess. but i told her any money was good money, and that it technically wasn’t my money, and she got over it. she’s a prideful troll! </p><p> oddly

enough, she’s been helping me with the whole stagnated feeling, though? keeping her in check is a lot more interesting! but i get the feeling that i’m just passing on the whole complete focus thing from you to someone else. (not like <i>that</i>, though. i don’t find vriska attractive in those regards!)</p><p> but like in paris, we went shopping, and we splurged a little (sorry, jade!), then i went and did a little magic show to these kids outside with vriska and it was just?? really great?! i missed doing slight of hand. i made so many kids smile, even adults! it was unreal. </p><p> then we went out and got some balloons and just aired up hundreds of them with helium before letting them go.</p><p> i think france kind of hates us, now! they didn’t really like what we did. afterwards, we went out into the country where they were doing an air ballon show, and we actually got to ride in them! it was really great. </p><p> right now, we’re heading to spain. she says she wants to take some pictures of bulls for tavros, and i’m pretty sure i understand where she’s going with <i>that</i>. (tavros has bull horns.)</p><p> it’s pretty mean, but he’s also a douche so i can’t help wanting to do it, too. i think vriska was more than a douche to tavros, though, so i’ll let her take the pics, then delete the images when she gets drunk off her victory later. </p><p> rose called and told me i need to go to england soon! so i’ll probably do that, but when i told vriska that, she made a face. she has absolutely no interest in leaving the continental europe, so i don’t know if i’ll see her in washington or not!</p><p> i hope so. i really like hanging out with her. there’s only a few more trolls to get information from, though, so i’ll hopefully be home soon! i miss you, and i can’t wait to see you when i get back. although, i’m thinking i’m going to have to find more to do than just... </p><p> did i ever tell you why i started traveling? </p><p> shit! can’t tell you right now. tell you later. </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 28, 11pm</b></p></blockquote><p> sorry about that! our ride was about to leave, and we just got to our dinky hotel room. it’s so small! there’s two single sized beds, and like barely a closet of a bathroom. vriska chooses the <i>worst</i> places to stay. i think she either goes to the richest, most luxurious place she can find, or the scummiest. there is no in-between with her. but! we’re really close to the bull ring, and that’s a bonus.</p><p> anyway, so. why i even did this thing. hell, you might learn before i even hand this wad of papers over. (still debating on that! especially the drunk ones. man, i don’t know if i was just lonely, or if i wanted to write some thirteen year olds smut fantasy... but... yeah. if i were writing smut, i’d probably mention something about your <i>rippling</i> abs. c; ) </p><p> wow. i really don’t want to tell you this. </p><p> so i’m going to do it, anyway. </p><p> what happened, was that in my boredom, i found out some rumors that this one house outside the city was haunted, and so i decided to go to see if i could find anything. with jade. honestly, i’m starting to feel really bad about this because it was the night dave proposed and everything. like they had <i>sex</i> in the <i>living room</i>. with fancy cushions and marshmallow creme... i... don’t even want to know where they put the creme at holy shit. (we should do that...) </p><p> so jade and i went out to investigate the haunted house and some kids were there, too. i think they were about fifteen or sixteen? maybe older, and well. when the paranormal stuff <i>really</i> started happening, i.. tried to scare them out, so <i>i</i> could face the ghost. by myself. or with jade. i just wanted to do. </p><p> so the ghost got pissed off at <i>me</i>. because that was its job. not mine. and i ended up channeling some werewolf hunting instinct. jade had to cover for me, and thank goodness for the ghost because it stopped me from doing anything really bad. </p><p> i know, i know, you’re going to berate and get onto me, and shit. DAVE

already did that, though, so you’re covered. please don’t berate me. the age thing will just make it weird. i wish it wouldn’t, but that’s... really the worst thing about the differences in our age! sometimes it feels like you’re lecturing me like i’m a naughty child when... i’m supposed to be your partner. /: </p><p> i try not to let it get to me cause i know you don’t want it to come off this way! i can only hope the older i get the less weird it seems, but i don’t know if that’s going to be possible? i love you, either way, you massive nerd. </p><p> anyway, vriska is nagging at me, and saying that it’s time for bed so we can go and take... blackmail? pics tomorrow. i don’t know how it’s blackmail when the content has nothing to do with the person, but instead in degrading way? i think she has that wrong, but she’s getting in her i don’t care, mr. grammar. excuse you, it’s not mr. grammar, but ms. grammar, and that’s rose! d: </p><p>love, </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>august 2</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> holy shit is vriska’s... relative... annoying. she’s like kankri, but at least some of what she has to say is informative? she kind of explained how the aliens got here, anyway. all like, our world was destroyed, and a massive amount of trolls had no where to go, our empire was dying, so our empress found this happy little earth planet, and decided to move in. </p><p> if you can’t tell, i’m writing this as she’s talking. she thinks i’m taking notes. sike! i’m writing to my boyfriend under the teacher’s nose. :P </p><p> it was actually interesting until she started talking about romance? i guess trolls have like four different kinds of romance. and i’m just like, oh yeah, that’s great. somehow it’s supposed to be better than ours, but i don’t really think it is. or maybe it’s just like people who want labels for everything? a better way to describe what it is you’re feeling? </p><p> i don’t think i’m very interested in labeling what i am. i love and am attracted to you, but i also find ladies lovely and attractive, so i guess that technically makes me bi, but i’d rather just be john, and not have a bunch of labels stuck to me. i guess i can understand how other’s find them useful. some people like taking all sorts of online quizzes to put themselves in these little boxes! </p><p> but i’d rather just go with the flow and be whoever i want to be instead of trying to pin it down to one thing! except if i were to ever be labeled as a wizard. i would OWN that. </p><p> dammit. i better pay attention and find a spot where i can escape at so that aranea doesn’t keep me here for a month. i’m going to scotland, then ireland! last stop is iceland. 8) </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>august 6</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i think this will be my last letter! i’m on a plane heading home, thank goodness. i think vriska would have liked scotland and ireland more than me. i wonder why she was so anxious to not go with me the rest of the way? maybe she didn’t want to meet her relative? </p><p> yeah, i’m like 99% sure that was definitely the case. </p><p> hehehe i got in a brawl with a scottish dude at the pub, and afterwards we exchanged numbers and addresses when i told him that i had been writing letters during the trip. (he’s a werewolf <i>too</i>! it was SO cool. i wish i had gotten up to scotland sooner cause then we could have gone out on the full moon together, but he said it was probably for the best! he might have gotten too territorial to notice that i was a friendly werewolf. </p><p> ... i’m trying to pull thoughts together, but i’m really tired. hold on...</p><p> annnnd back. i just needed a nap. :) </p><p> so scotland was a ton of fun! as was ireland! i got on a bus tour kind of thing? and basically, wow. ireland is like those covers you see on older romance novels (i saw them at karkat’s house!) where it was historical and shit, and there are lovely irish lasses who are taken in by i... don’t know. guys. dudes. (dudes with <i>rippling</i> abs. (; ) just to note, karkat may

have read one of them out loud to me. i may not have been listening in the entirety. </p><p> then there was iceland, which was so relaxing. i went to one of the hot springs. i felt so clean and rejuvenated after that when i met nepeta’s relative, i wasn’t even weirded out by how she somehow managed to use her phone to gif at me as part of her sign language. i think i understood the hand motions better than what the gifs were supposed to represent? she asked about my love life, and was really bummed when i told her i was taken. and then she somehow was under the impression that i still needed other people? </p><p> that was when the whole four romance thing clicked, and i was like <i>shit</i>. she’s going to try and get me hooked up in the other romances. i managed to get her side tracked by asking about her favorite ships, and her tumblr, and yoinked a phone number. i think it’ll be easier communicating to her on tumblr, to be honest. </p><p> she and aranea didn’t seem all that interested in coming along, though, which is <i>fine by me</i>. the more those two plus kankri stay away, the happier everyone except maybe rose will be. </p><p> i’m really excited just to come home! i can’t wait to lay in bed, and just... sleep for a couple of days. maybe you’ll be there? i kind of hope not in a way, i think i need to sleep for forty-eight hours at home in order to feel ready to talk to you. i’m acting like something happened between us? but i guess nothing really did. maybe i’m just still bummed that you left without saying goodbye? although, i get why you did it. </p><p> either way, it’ll be good to be home, and i hope therapy is helping you out. </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p>