#im trying to fight the idea that the art is the only thing that matters that i do so much but its hard

[1800duckhotline]

i just also have not been drawing because im always working and busy and dont particularly want to draw lately at all bc it makes me #feelshit but i think if anyone wanted to ask about my vtm(b) girls id be delighted. but at the same time i talk abt them so little i think its fine that ppl dont have questions

[jules-makes-stuff]

Been seeing ppl on reddit argue about magic in fantasy for a while and I don't want to lose 3 hours bickering over there but I have *thoughts*

By now hard and soft systems are pretty well known but people ague againt hard systems because it "takes away the, well, MAGIC of magic". I think people aren't considering tone and the overall goals of a work and are conflating personal taste with truth again.

In my mind it really depends on the above though. Say you are Hoffman writing The Golden Pot. You want your work to be dreamlike, ethereal, like a half remembered song. Everything operates on dream/fairytale logic and emotion is reality. You should absolutelt NOT explain magic. It should be a strange force adhering only to narrative and emotional forces.

If you are writing a magical realism piece, like One Hundred Years of Solitude, the magic again is there to emphasize the absurdity of reality people at the time faced. Explaining anything takes that away. Same with horror or something like Metamorphosis. You don't know why this is happening and that means you cannot stop it or it doesn't matter how it happened, only the consequences.

Then there are more classical fantasy stories like Lord of the Rings. Magic is something ancient and grand and mysterious.... and none of the hobbits have it besides stray magic items. That is what people miss, I believe, when using this example. Gandalf isn't our pov character. Most characters there do not have magic or only have limited magic w very specific limitations, tools essentially. So we can follow along and anticipate how these will be used. There is big, scary, unknown magic, but it is usually something used by the opponents or characters that come in and out of the narrative. And I think that's a good balance! Its fine that we dont know the science of magic, because we understand enough when we need to, we can make predictions and there is enough wiggle room for something like Gandalf the White to happen. A looot of fantasy had followed this setup: the mc has only a few well defined spells and magic items, the world has more deep magic.

But, I personally do like harder magic, if the mc is supposed to be a wizard (or the equivalent). I would call most battle shonen hard magic (I think this is where ppl might want to kill me) becauss in a good battle shonen we know what everyone can do and we can plan along with the characters and predict how the fight will go. When a problem is solved in an interesting way we can go "I should have seen that comming!"

In BAD versions people yell really loud and whoever yells loudest about friendship (once we wasted enough screentime to call the third act done) wins. And this here is my problem. Because I have seen stories where characters do the same with magic and it breaks my immersion. When magic used by the mc can suddenly do anything and everything what is the point? I'm no longer following a story w interesting twists and turns, Im waiting for the author to say "ok thats enough we can push the win button now". And listen, obviously its a made up story, none of this is real or matters, but its the authors job to keep the illusion alive that it isnt.

This is different from creating a mcguffin that can do anything once and having a quest about it, there getting the item is the challenge, not using it.

And a system being hard doesnt mean we need to know the science behind it, just that we need to know what it can do and the limits. In avatar they can manipulate the elements w martial arts. Period. Why? How? The spirits said so. Most ppl fuck up hard magic imo by starting to write a thesis about magical physics or overcomplicating it instead of taking 1 simple idea and exploring all the cool things that it can do. Witch Hat feels super magical and yet all there is to magic is drawing magic circles and we actively learn how to draw them in the series and the way the characters problem solve w magic and their try-fail cycles are super fun!

The point of this ramble is that I need structure that fits the narrative goals of the work. If we're doing a dream like narrative throw away explanations. If Im a wizard playing mind chess w other wizards you better tell me what chess pieces we have.

[immoralimmortals]

thank u so much for your answer! yes pregnancy is scary im very conflicted about it. anyways we're going to skip that part and make you suffer again. The child is born, what's ur thoughts on this?

Long post ahead!

This child will be as pampered as their mother, surely. They are both the most protected and adored human beings on the planet.

Sasori is the biggest help from a medical standpoint. I presume he does the delivery. He looks over the baby and deems them, in a barely audible voice, "perfect." Despite his complaints of human functions, he never declines responsibility caring for the baby's needs. He is definitely the most nosy about how Takara should parent them. Sasori is the first to have the idea to make toys, Deidara quickly following suit in a bit of competition. He allows the infant to hold his finger and feel how different his artificial body is compared to everyone else.

The first time the baby cries, Kisame grins. It's good to be born with a strong voice, ready to fight. He gently offers his finger and marvels at how small the child is. The baby loves how warm Kisame is, and so despite his anxiety of being undelicate, he's a good bet if they need to fall asleep.

For all of Kakuzu's talk about being too rough, avoiding care when others are available, he's a marvel when it comes down to it. His deep, low voice is calming, and in front of no one but Takara, he'll murmur lullabies. He looks...far away when doing so, a lost look in his eyes. It's like he's experiencing the life of someone else, someone more deserving of love, innocence, and peace. He may only say in private to Takara or Hidan that he considers himself a father now.

Deidara LOVES seeing the baby grow and learn, noting with pride any apparent physical, mental, or vocal progression. He wants the baby's first word to be bang, boom, or art. He has a surprising amount of patience spending time with the kid, no matter how trivial the activity, simple the puzzle. Just like him with their mother, Deidara's favorite thing is to make them smile.

Hidan continues his half aloof, half fascinated attitude, constantly around but never entirely sure what to do. He makes it up entirely in how much he cares. He takes sincere interest in the welfare of the kid and goes along with anything Takara says. With her supervision, he prays over her and the child. He attempts to butt in when Deidara is playing with them, trying to seem cooler or having the baby learn how to say "Jashin" instead. He's surprisingly not quick to leave or butt out if crying starts or anything else that makes him uncomfortable.

Zetsu doesn't really know what to feel, I think. A child is a new variable, he knows, dawning on him that having a baby isn't merely an event but a human lifetime. I think it becomes a mix of the situation he has with Takara and the situation he has with Obito, where he tries to shape and manipulate outcomes, but perhaps in a more intimate (familial) way...at least as much as someone like him can. Black Zetsu sometimes has to remind White Zetsu that this isn't a full grown person yet, but also not a toy. Something in between...

Itachi is SUCH a good dad. He adores, he protects, he is so, so attentive and gentle. He'll do anything and everything to help, for once doing a lot himself instead of having Kisame do it. He finds so much purpose in holding a baby, caring for them, soothing, feeding...everything. Something unlocks in his brain and it's like this is what he was made to do. It is, perhaps, the only thing that can make Itachi second guess his destiny of being killed by Sasuke.

The Tobi persona withholds a lot of the recklessness and loudness one would be used to. Silly, yes, joyous, yes, childish, also yes...but he won't do anything that could harm the baby or disrespect their mother. He's reverent. Cooing back at the baby, babbling with them, constantly willing to offer his hands (or rest of his body) to play with. It pains him when they try to pull at his mask; that's the one thing that's off limits. He's one of the few people in the Akatsuki that have the attitude of "this is MY child". Not even "our" child, as members of the Akatsuki. If being a dad is on a scale, he's pushing everyone else further down so he gets the closest place. (see graph) Obito can only hide so much about his real self when it comes to being a parent.

Nagato, in comparison, has a pretty good understanding of the situation they're in and how everyone around the infant will be a factor in their life. As such, he's very wary of how the members behave and the roles they take. Hidan is not allowed to proselytize to the baby. Deidara...for the love of all that is good, do not use your explosive clay as the material for the toys you're making. In fact, don't use the clay at all within ten feet of the baby. Sasori, you're not allowed to give the baby sedatives to "help them sleep". Itachi...let other people hold the baby. I said, let other people hold the baby. Itachi. Itachi--

...He takes it back. He DOES feel like a dad. Just of everyone else.

He's very empathetic to Takara in her role as a parent and does his best to allow control and openness over her situation, living with a bunch of serial killers.

Konan might not say it out loud, but she otherwise will not hide how adoring she is of Takara. She sees her-- the effort she makes to be a good mother-- and she thinks the world of that. She's, perhaps, the most likely to think of the child as a symbol, of the peace they're working towards and the goodness that can exist if nurtured and taught.

Takara, of course, is exhausted but grateful of everything everyone does. The babble the baby ends up having for each member is the following:

Itachi: Chah // Chi

Kisame: Kee-ah-may // Kee-may

Hidan: Hee-dahn (surprisingly close!) // Hee-dah

Kakuzu: Kaka oo // Kaka // Kakoo

Deidara: Dei-da (often mistaken in public for Dada, causing him to flush)

Sasori: So-sorry (they will spend day after day working on this to the point Sasori declares the kid is doing it on purpose. He is quickly scolded)

Pain: Payne // Leer (leader) // Ladder // Lah-dah

Konan: Ko-mom (CO MOM! She nearly faints first time she hears it that way) // Ko-nah // Cone

Zetsu: Wessu

Tobi: Tobi!!!! // Da-da (yes he is teaching the baby to say dada. The team is about to have a meeting to put to a vote if this is fair or ethical. Obito will continue regardless.)

[honeycreammilkshake]

Honnnnneyyyyy i have this sukuita au idea where baby sukuna gets yeeted into the future by fate and raised with yuuji (sorry wasuke you gotta work overtime lol)

However, its ends up with Sukuna going into sorcery to make sure Yuuji can have a normal life ((sukuna has semi normal personality here, stoll a tsundere but eithout the trauma, he just gets a battle boner when fighting but still has 4 arms and eyes w/ belly mouth lol)) because he van see curses, but they really ojly ever try to attack Yuuji. So Sukuna decided on getting actual training.

But, uh, Yuuji doesn't like the fact that he can't be with him all the time, so he starts getting really upset over it, and that leads to them having a huge argument and THAT leads to them accidentally telling each other they're in so much love mwah mwah mwah (it really doesnt the fuck and realize they dont see each other as family its way more and both of them cannot handle this type of advanced thinking, dw its just temporary smooth brain energy coming from the two of them)

I also like to think that in this au if Yuuji and Wasuke werent with him as a young child he would be just og sukuna with either really good credit or really bad credit, or maybe hes more normal but ends up pulling a fucking Geto move idk im still deciding and working out the kinks to this.

demiiiiiiii omg you are brilliant and i love your beautiful mind.

i added your update, too: he has good credit. Not because he's not smart enough he just can get someone to fix it at any time lmao)

honestly, i am a BIG fan of aus where sukuna and yuuji were raised together. sukuna going off to learn sorcery to keep yuuji protected only for yuuji to hate that they can't be together all the time reminds me so much of rin and yukio from blue exorcist (i've been wanting to write a yukirin-style sukuita for such a long time now >.<).

the four arms and eyes, belly-mouthed version of sukuna does NOT get enough attention like it deserves. i'm dying of hunger for more fics/art of sukuna's true form in different aus, because him being just an edgy version of yuuji is a bit spent now. so i love you for keeping his true form in this idea <3

them being related to each other is really good because you can't tell if they're more like step-bothers or are still uncle/nephew who were raised together. i definitely love a good serving of "oh no but it would be sinful incest! we can't accept our love for each other!" especially when both sukuna and yuuji are quite messed up so that one little thing doesn't really matter in the end, lol. (i love to headcanon that they literally cannot have feelings for anyone but each other, no matter how hard they try to fall in love with someone else. they were meant only for each other, so they have to suffer in this together.)

i think that sukuna being raised with someone kind like yuuji would make him less "evil" and curse-like, but i also think he would mock yuuji's kindness a lot because he's selfish and only wants yuuji to treat him sweetly. he hates whenever anyone else gets yuuji's attention or sympathy, so he lashes out at either them or yuuji. (my personal theory is that even if sukuna could have turned out to be more "good" like yuuji, he would still be inherently selfish and extremely possessive.)

i think sukuna being bad could still happen, but i think it's because he would kill anyone who hurt yuuji with no remorse and would be overly protective of yuuji. he massacres all the curses that are attacking yuuji, scares away the sorcerers that show interest in yuuji's strength, and keeps yuuji all for himself.

i also like sukuita aus where sukuna and yuuji are still rivals, so maybe when yuuji learns sukuna is training to be a sorcerer he joins too (so he can also be close to his brother) but they end up pairing up to fight each other during training (and oh no they both get boners from it lol). maybe they turn their training into a competition and almost tear down the school when they start really beating each other after yuuji gets angry with sukuna's possessive overprotectiveness.

i won't stop thinking about this for the rest of the day now ;-; why do you always have the best sukuita ideas to share with me???

[nonbinaryeggrolls]

Battle of the Larynx I

Miguel O’Hara x afab!reader

Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, Pt. 4

Synopsis: Having Spider-Man as a boyfriend was becoming increasingly more difficult, and his reoccurring absence is tearing you apart

A/N: hi y’all! ik ive been so MIA with my stories lately. if im being honest sometimes i just don’t have ideas for new chapters or how to continue in progress stories, but hopefully i can get some more done soon! but for now enjoy this quick Miguel O’Hara story cuz i am OBSESSED with this man atm

Inspired by Battle of the Larynx by Melanie Martinez!

Warning: smut (fingering), toxic relationship, ANGST (yk i fucking live that shit), neglectful Miguel, LONG ASS CHAPTERS

MINORS DNI. AGELESS AND MINOR BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

You knew what you were getting yourself into when he told you. You knew the nights that laid ahead for both of you filled with his crying and screaming after a failed mission led to a loss of innocent life. You knew the days would consist of hours holding your breath wondering if he was alive or not, and finally exhaling when he arrived there at your doorstep; battered and bloody but still, he was there. That was really the only promised you asked Miguel to keep— be there. You could handle him leaving randomly and not coming home until 2 in the morning, it was his obligation as a hero and that came before anything else. But he also took an obligation as your partner to be present when it mattered most, and according to him he cherished that concept with his life. So if that was the case why wasn’t he here now?

Miguel had been gone for 5 days now, longer than he’s ever been gone for. Five days of nothing, no calls, texts, emails, even an owl with a note would’ve sufficed at this point but he chose to leave you in the dark yet again. You touched up your mascara in the shiny elevator door reflection as you prepped yourself for the celebration party you and your art school classmates planned after you all landed the animation internship. What was supposed to be a chance for your friends to finally get to know Miguel was clearly turning into yet another evening third wheeling other couples. Another night of watching girls curl up with their lovers while you downed a spiked lemonade to forget about yours. This was the 26th time Miguel had abandoned an important event with no notice whatsoever (yes you’ve been keeping track). It started with simple things like picnic dates or small get togethers, then his absence gradually became more impactful. Missed family dinner’s, birthdays…anniversaries. Disappearing for days on end with no check ins, it was becoming torture. It was becoming increasingly obvious that people started to question whether or not you even had a boyfriend, and slowly you did too…

To Miggy 🧸:

please tell me you’re coming tonight, you know this means a lot to me Miguel

4:23

can you just call me and let me know youre alive at least????

4:49

i hope youre chaffing in your suit asshole

8:14

The elevator door opened letting you onto the top floor of Alchamex, it was pointless checking but you always did anyways. You crept your way into his office hoping to see his usual tired figure slumped over in his chair, ready for you to nag him like you usually do to take a break and eat something, but the only thing occupying the space was scattered papers. You looked through his window that towered over the Nueva York city streets trying desperately to hold back the tears that were fighting their way out.

“Y/N?”

Y/N: “Jess! Im- Im really sorry.” You turned your head only slightly so she couldn’t see your puffy eyes.

Jess: “Y/N, you’re part of reception you know you can get in a lot of trouble being up here without authorization.”

Y/N: “I know I know I just…I thought Miguel be here.” You mumbled between hiccups that came up from you failing to hide your sobs. Jess wasn’t stupid, it didnt take a genius to know what you were upset about, or who you were upset about, “If you um… if you see him can you just ask him to come home please.” Working through your sniffles, you wiped your face with your sleeve and made your way out of the office before she even had time to respond

Jess sighed feeling a twitch of anger brew inside her towards the young man, she scowled and muttered obscenities under her breath as she dialed Miguels number…

The next week came and you missed the party entirely, the calls from all your friends and colleagues went unanswered. Honestly, your self esteem couldn’t take another embarrassing, lonely entrance into an event that Miguel was supposed to accompany you too. Another endless night of sympathetic looks and pity hugs. 

The clock read 7:48 pm when you arrived home from work, another day of taking calls and booking meetings for a man that wasn’t even there half of the time. With a heavy sigh you set the bags of groceries you had in hand down in order to get your keys out of your back pocket. The space was dark and cold when you walked in, it had been for the last week. You stocked the fridge with your new groceries then before taking a quick shower and finishing your nightly routine. You were in the middle of applying your night cream when you heard a loud thud causing you to finally leave the bathroom. In the corner of your eye you caught a glimpse of a tall dark figure emerging from the window. You let out a shriek managing to fumble everything in hand as you scrambled to find your pepper spray.

Miguel: “Woah woah! Relax it’s just me! it’s me Y/N!” Usually you’d be used to Miguel’s late night window entrances but it had been so long since you last saw him you forgot he even did it. He turned on the living room light revealing his tired and bruised figure. He was still dressed in his spider suit, the suit you excitedly spent hours on your ipad drawing and redrawing to get the perfect design; now you hated the sight of that thing.

Y/N: “Miguel?”, seeing him gave you relief knowing it wasn’t an intruder, but the anger that’s been stirring in you for the last 2 weeks slapped you back to reality. Silence filled the space between you two, neither of you taking the initiative to speak first. It took 2 weeks for him to come back and you weren’t going to wait another second waiting for him to find the balls to say something.

Miguel: “Y/N please wait!…” he pleaded when you turned away and slammed the bedroom door behind you. You plopped down onto your mattress, you were exhausted and couldn’t stand to look at his face anymore, but you felt the empty bed space behind you dip with his weight.

Miguel: “Congratulations on your internship cariño, I knew you’d get it…” No response. “I…I got this for you. Y/N?” If you turned around you’d see the small gift wrapped box he held in his hand but you were motionless. This new silence terrified him. The possibility of you finally giving up on him made his heart sink a little

Miguel: “Y/N I’m really really sor—

Y/N: “Just shut up Miguel, shut up already…” you finally spoke through gritted teeth, “You’ve never cared about a single thing that I care about, if you did then you would’ve been there like you said you would but you weren’t! SO JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!” you sobbed and curled your legs closer to your chest

Miguel: “I know you’re angry at me… but Y/N I really am sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t call you or text you. I’m sorry it took Jess calling me to make me realize how terrible I was being. I should’ve been there to take you to your friends party, like I promised I would. I wanna be someone you can count on and trust but I’m screwing it all up.”

At this point Miguel had already stood up from the bed, you could feel the floor thump as he paced back and forth trying to find the right words to say to you. You couldn’t help but peek over at him, he looked horrible with his head in his hands and blood and dirt still caked on his suit. Regardless of how angry you felt towards Miguel you always took pity on the poor man. He loved you with everything he was and everything he wasn’t, all he wanted was to be everything you ever needed, but you were the first woman he had ever been with since Dana and Gabriella passed. You knew loving you was like learning to walk again.

You called his name in your soft voice. His head shot up, you were finally facing him with your arms open inviting him in for a hug. Miguel practically jumped from his seat and into your arms. Words couldn’t describe how good it felt to feel your touch and even though he smelled like ash and rubble you felt exactly the same, practically crying as you melted into his hold

Y/N: “I thought you were dead Miggy, you can’t keep putting me through this I can’t take it.” He settled deeper into your embrace and rested his head into the crook of your neck

Miguel: “I know, I’ll be better for you…” You felt his lips latch onto your neck and pepper you in small kisses, “I love you Y/N. I love you so much.” He groaned against you, pushing his stiffened member against your groan and pulling out a desperate moan from your lips

Y/N: “I…I love you too Miggy…fuck!” You screamed has he drove his thick fingers into your already soaking cunt. Every curl and thrust against your plush walls pushed you closer and closer to your edge.

You cried against his shoulders. There were times when the space that was wedged between you two felt infinite then dwindled every time he came back home to you.

It was euphoria, to feel him with you again.

But every high has to come down at some point.

The sound of arguing pulled you from your sleep. It was 2 in the morning when you rolled over to see a space where Miguel was originally sleeping beside you. It wasn’t unusual for Miguel to wake up in the middle of the night to work at the kitchen table or yell to Jess about some other spider variant that messed up a mission; one named Peter seemed to come up very frequently. However it seemed like this specific conversation went on for a fairly long time, you could even begin to here Miguel’s voice shake with whoever he was speaking to.

You slipped on a new t shirt from Miguel’s drawer since the clothes you previously had on had been ripped to shreds. His voice became more and more clear as you made your way down the hall

Miguel: “Do you already have an idea on who it could be?…Fuck. Okay, I’ll *sigh* I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and pinched the bridge of his nose in a mixture of frustration and disappointment.

Y/N: “Youre leaving again aren’t you?” Your voice startled him out of his sulk.

Miguel: “…Jess suspects there’s a spider variant that’s purposely letting anomalies run loose in other dimensions. I have to handle this Y/N...”

7 hours, it took 7 hours to fall into the same old routine. It was honestly amusing at this point, all you could do was laugh. How stupid you were to think things could be any different. How stupid you were to think that HE could be any different.

Y/N: “Are you fucking serious?!” You shouted

Miguel: “Y/N Stop it, not right now please. I need you to just go back to bed and let me—

Y/N: “Let you what?! Let you leave me and come back anytime you find it convenient? How long are you gonna be gone this time Miguel, a month this time? Do you even care about the promise you kept to me? Or do I even cross your mind when you’re out there dimensions away from home playing hero for everyone else but me? This isn’t a hotel Miguel, this is our home! At least that what it fucking used to be!” You fumed. He towered above you but that didn’t stop from getting in his face, “It’s not fair Miguel! You don’t get to leave me alone for weeks and come back and fuck me thinking that’ll make it all better! You have to be better!”

Miguel: “You need to stop acting like you’re the only person in my world that needs my attention! I’m not a monster for putting the safety of the multiverse first. Im sorry I can’t be here to rock you to bed and give you a kiss goodnight all the time. Sometimes we have to put personal matters on the back burner Y/N, it’s called responsibility!” He gathered his phone and the rest of his belongings off the kitchen table

Miguel: “I have enough to worry about as it is, having you and Jess blowing up my phone to go to some party with people I don’t even know doesn’t he—

Y/N: “What?” Your tone was softer and started to become laced with hurt, it was evident in the way your voice started to shake, “Jess called you that night and it took you a week to come back?”

Realization of what he just said settles in and it makes his brows furrow in frustration and both himself and you. When he looks over at you with that same stupid emotionless face he always has you can’t help but boil with anger. His nonchalance towards your problems made you curl your fist until your knuckles turned white

Y/N: “No you’re not a monster, but you are an ASSHOLE for making me believe you could balance work and me! Why are you even with me if you can’t—

Miguel: “This conversation is over, I have a job to do and youre keeping me from doing it.” He cut you off harshly, dismissing your concerns yet again.

Y/N: “I never asked you to sacrifice your obligations! I said from the beginning that being a hero comes first, just make some goddamn time for me now and then! Why Miguel? Why do I have to beg you to see my family at Christmas?! Why do I have to beg you to meet my friends or give me an ounce of attention?! Why do I have to ask you to care about me?!”, This was frustrating him too much, your lack of understanding was infuriating. Miguel had to leave before he said something he might regret. He turned away from you and your manic sobbing and made his way to the window seal without another word, afraid that he might damage things worse than they already were by speaking

Y/N: “If we switched places I wouldn’t DARE treat you as terribly as you treat me—

Miguel: “WELL YOURE NOT ME! YOU SIT AT A DESK AND DOODLE ON A FUCKING COMPUTER! YOUR CAREER IS A JOKE, A CHILD COULD DO WHAT YOU DO. YOU CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO THIS WORLD, I DO.” His nostrils flared and his eyes burned red with anger, “SO DONT YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT MY LIFE LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT, WHAT IVE HAD TO SACRIFICE JUST TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT IN THIS WORLD!”

Y/N: “GOD. YOU ARE SUCH A CUNT!”

Miguel: “AND YOURE A REPLACEMENT!”

Miguels eyes widened and his rampage instantly stopped. You couldn’t believe the words that had just left his mouth, and honestly he couldn’t either. He didn’t mean it at all, he wanted to take back those words as soon as the left his mouth, he just wanted to leave. Why didn’t you just let him leave? He wouldve been right back. The air was thick and uncomfortable, your combined heavy breathing was the only thing filled the space between the two of you.

Miguel: “I…I’ll be right back.” There was a shakiness in his voice and in his movement when he stepped out onto the fire escape.

Y/N: “Dont come back. If you leave tonight…don’t come back Miguel.” You spoke in a tone barely above a whisper

Miguel: “We’ve said things we don’t mean…I’ll be back later to fix things.” His suit integrated onto his body and he leapt off of the building ledge. A blur of blue and red was the only trace he left behind.

The truth was out now, how Miguel really felt towards you. You were never a first priority or even a second or third, you were nothing but a soul to fill the space where something else was missing. His wife, his daughter, you never tried to stand in their place or become what they were to him, but now you knew that’s the only reason Miguel kept you around. You were his vice

Your heavy cries carried throughout the apartment as you laid in bed cradling the maroon cardigan that was in the gift box Miguel got you.

The spider society headquarters was empty and calm, but the office at the top floor was anything but. Miguel sat atop of his hovering platform brooding in silence in front of his computer monitors, It’d been like this since he arrived. Miguel was always stern and reserved, he never held a conversation with anyone other than Jess or Lyla so him being fairly quiet was normal. But for Miguel to not say anything at all was strange, and it didn’t take long for others to take notice of his behavior shift since leaving your apartment

Margo, Peter, and Jess were the last people at headquarters, after a long day of interrogating potential rogue variants the crew was finally successful and able to apprehend Spiderman on Earth-3360. What will happen to the young man wasn’t decided yet but catching him was a cause for celebration. The group sat around the cafeteria table sharing empanadas and Soju for a few minutes before they went back to their own universes

Margo: “Yeah Ive been in his office all day with him and Lyla and he’s barely said 2 sentences, he wasn’t even mean during interrogation. It’s like he didn’t have it in him to yell. I think he’s depressed or something.”

Peter: “I thought he was always depressed, that’s like his thing isn’t it? That’s why he’s not funny.” He joked and finished off the last empanada

Jess: “I don’t know but I need to get home, my back is killing me and I can’t deal with The Grinch any longer.” She said taking letters hand to help her up from the chair.

The group said goodnight to each other, Margo logged off and Jess went home to some much needed rest, honestly this line of work seems too dangerous for a pregnant woman. Peter made his way up to Miguel’s office, who he knew could hear the entire conversation thanks to his enhanced hearing.

Peter: “You know they’re right Miguel…” he shouted up to Miguel who was brooding on his platform

Miguel: “About what?” he asked in a condescending tone

Peter: “About you, you don’t think we’ve noticed you moping around all day. Do you wanna tell me what the deal is so you can stop pouting?” he swung onto the platform and took a seat next to Miguel, crossing his arms and sitting firm in place waiting for Miguel’s response but he was met with silence, “Is it the rogue variant? Cuz we’re not gonna let this happen again…”

Miguel: “No.”

Peter: “Miles? Gwen? Ben?”

Miguel: “No it’s none of them.” He turned his attention away from him and focused on organizing the handful of papers on his desk

Peter: “Then what is it? Is it Y/N?”

Miguel: “Did I say anything about Y/N?! Why even bring her up?!” He snapped, it was exhausting having to work and act like every terrible thing he said wasn’t weighing on his mind. Miguel couldn’t even interrogate the variant with losing focus, having to have Jess switch him out is gonna remain one of the most embarrassing points in his Spider-Man career. Peter was never a first choice for a sounding board, but it was only going to get worse for Miguel if he didn’t turn to someone for advice, because Lord knows he was terrible at handling relationship problems on his own

Miguel: “I said something bad, really really bad Peter…” he confessed. He took a seat in the chair next to him

Peter: “Do you wanna be more specific?”

Miguel: “I told her that her career was a joke. Then I called her…a replacement.” Peters eyes widened, he knew Miguel was capable of harsh words, he’d seen it first hand with Miles but this was unexpected. Especially with you, the girl he fawned over and practically stalked at work until you made the first move.

Peter: “Shit, Miguel. That’s really messed up…Did you mean it?” He asked

Miguel: “No of course not! I didn’t mean any of it, I was just frustrated. I’m not the bad guy for prioritizing my duties! She just wasn’t listening Peter, she wasn’t understanding any of what I was saying or where I was coming from. I didn’t mean what I said.”

Peter: “So why did you say it?!” Peter exclaimed

Miguel: “I DONT KNOW!”, He slouched over in his chair and cradled his head in his hands, his own words made him sick to his stomach. How he urged to tell you how guilty he was for what he said, for never being there, for making you feel like you didn’t mean anything, “I just wanted her to be quiet, everything she was saying was right but it made me feel guilty and awful. I wanted to make her feel worse than I felt. God I’m so fucking dumb…”

Peter: “You know I’m not good with this, it wasn’t long ago that I was a sad piece of shit too with a partner at home who basically couldn’t stand me. That being said, I also know that when it feels like nothing you say can make up for everything you said, and you said A LOT, maybe too much. I would never say something like that, that was insane…”

Miguel: “Peter…” he said through gritted teeth

Peter: “Sorry sorry, that being said when it feels like there’s nothing you can say that could make up for everything you said, a simple apology means more than you think it does. A real apology Miguel.” Peter looked at him, he didn’t need words to know that Peter was basically tell him to finally get his shit together.

Miguel: “What if she doesn’t accept it?”

Peter: “She will if you mean it…”

Passing buildings were a blur to Miguel, he was racing home so fast he couldn’t even focus on anything around him. While he swung from structure to structure he planned out every single thing he’d say to you, how he’s sorry for failing you in this relationship and he’d change for the both of you. He even tried to remember if there was still cinnamon in the spice cabinet so he could make you your favorite comfort drink, champurrado.

Miguel soon landed on the fire escape outside your apartment, you made a habit of leaving the curtains open for him so he could see if you were up or not and now it was an involuntary part of your routine. He peeked inside and saw you sleeping peacefully on your bed, hoping to come join you he tried to open the window but it wasn’t budging.

‘Had you locked it on purpose?’ He thought to himself, no you couldn’t have, you always left in unlocked for him. But when he saw the book you had used to block the window from being moved he panicked. Miguel knocked on your window, frantic and desperate

Miguel: “Y/N! Y/N! Unlock the window!” He pleaded. His knocking stirred you out of your sleep and you sat up in your bed, your puffy eyes on full display. When you finally looked over at him you were emotionless just as he was to you, it terrified him seeing you look at him with no longing or affection

Miguel: “Let me in…please cariño”, he begged

You were so tired, you were so tired of wondering why your boyfriend left you to question his love for you and now after tonight you know why. You stood face to face with him, the window still a barrier between you and him. It ate away at you but you couldn’t stand another night asking yourself why you weren’t getting the love you deserved. You had your answer and you didn’t need Miguel around anymore, not if you were going to be another substitute for what was missing.

Miguel: “Y/N…Y/N please wait!—

You closed the curtain in his face and went back to bed but it didn’t stop his knocking and pleading, begging for you to let him in and mend what he broke. It continued for an hour until you were convinced he eventually gave up and left. Him being gone finally gave you a chance to break down once again into your sheets, but Miguel sat on the fire escape listening to every choked out sob and hiccup you let out. Every painful cry the he caused you and now he wondered if he’d ever be able to fix it.

[luffythinker]

can i introduce to my latest obsession?

Astro royale

i come from my hero so i keep calling their powers "quirks" but it's like my hero except family centered and we are smack dab in the middle of "quirks" being a thing, and everyone is using their powers to try and rule the world sort of. everyone says this manga is trash but i look on twitter and everyone says the author is cooking every chapter, and i was reading it myself cause i remembered after tokyo revengers ended they said the author was making a new manga and it looked interesting so i picked it up not many days ago

people were complaining about how the artist style is "stiff" and other stuff that doesn't matter like "hating the designs" and "the story is dumb" or something stupid like that that makes me feel like they didn't read it or just hate this creator cause he ended his other manga in a way that upseted ppl, but i love this manga so far 12 chapters in and it's such a good story and i got attached to the characters so fast i love my kids so much and i love this manga and i want other people to love it too

it's like, theres a yakuza family ok? and there are 20 brothers? i think or less, the protag is the only blood related brother everyone else is adopted from rival gangs or whatever, and the father wants him to be the next leader - if something happens to him - i don't wanna spoil it but it happens in the first chapter and it's part of the plot but the dad yeah he kicks the bucket and tells protag your gonna lead this organization, the shooting stars fall everyone wishes on their items and gets super powers based off their wish and now everyone's fighting to be the top dog BUT WITH POWERS

they are literally my favorite little guys ever, please give it a read or add it to your list it's so interesting to me

okay this is either gonna be really funny or just really awkward 😭

i actually know and have read this manga, i know wakui from tokyo revengers a manga series i really really loved and followed it until the end, and yeah im one of the people that wasn't happy with the ending for many reasons.

so when i heard he was making a new manga i was skeptical but still wanted to give it a try bc tokrev really captivated me from the first couple of chapters, i think for someone that isn't familiar with his writing style and art astro royale can feel really good!! so i totally understand the people that like the manga, but I think its a bit unfair to say other people (like old tokrev fans) complain about "things that don't matter", because yeah some of his art is a bit stiff, but for me my main issue is that i couldn't really connect with the characters because they look a LOT like a lot of other tokrev characters, so in my brain it's a bit difficult to fully separate the characters i knew and loved from these new ones that look a either exactly like one of them or just a mix of others (but this is my personal issue with the manga), i read it up until chapter 10 and i wasn't really feeling it so i dropped it for now, i might give it another try in a few months

now about the story itself I think the idea and plot is really cool, i was super curious about the idea of people getting powers associated with something that is personal to them, im not really big in yakuza/mafia plots tho so that wasn't a selling point for me, but i totally understand for people who are interested in this concept that the story would be really cool to see it developing

so yeah i dont hate astro royale, i dont hate wakui, but I can understand the feelings of people who were not satisfied with the end of tokrev as well, this would create a certain skepticism to how we will handle this story. what i can say is that hopefully he learns from it, because his story telling and character build in tokrev were pretty amazing for like 70% of the manga, i was begging my friends to read it a couple of years ago so i do think he is super talented, and i really hope he can have a good run with astro royale! and i hope you keep enjoying the story

[giftedpoison]

Y'all.

So like I'm absolutely unhinged and can never like something a normal amount.

Like ever.

But I got a job stage managering for a Renaissance faire near me in the summer. And also they asked me to help with a weekend event where I will be stage managering for a bunch of bands.

Sick right?

And like I've never done anything like this before. (And therefore no idea if I'm gonna enjoy it but I'm convinced that stage managering is actually my divine calling of sorts- specially for musicians but not limited to there. Which is mostly because it feels like something clicked into place. Like it feels right this feels like something I should be pursuing.)

But because I'm an academic with a hatred for the confines of real schooling at heart, I started doing research about what a stage manager should know (not to prepare for the jobs which are expecting me to be completely green) and the thing about a stage manager is they should have an understanding of all aspects of things that go into live performances.

So a music stage manager will understand the needs of a vocalist or an instrumentalist or the tech people as equally as possible and so forth.

And a theatre stage manager should comprehend actors needs, lighting needs, director needs, etc etc.

And as someone who has been in music and theatre most of my younger years less so since high school (couldn't keep up with my peers major L) I'm not completely alien to the world. (In fact I always say my first two loves were the written word and the performing arts) (plus I once went the trajectory of trying to become fight director back in 2020 which led to lots of research of that field shocker.)

ANYWAY

Now I'm like actively absorbing all the books I can find that has anything to do with film, theatre, and music.

And am currently reading Drama High by Michael Sokolove and The Music Never Stops by Peter Shapiro.

And I have a running list of documentaries to watch about different histories of music (specifically ones I'm less familiar with like blues and hip hop and opera but not limited)

And I'm trying to get back into practicing martial arts on my own.

And I have shows I want to see and events I want to go to.

BUT THESE BOOKS IM READING MAN. They get it.

Reading Drama High is so wild because I'm learning about these kids who would otherwise be mostly unknown other than this book and I just feel so deeply connected to them.

Courtney Meyers has my whole heart from that book. Like this quote about her "Taking the job at Georgine's felt like a death sentence. But theater is not an escape. In some ways, it is the opposite of that- it brings her closer to the true self she thinks she might be, or could become."

Georgine's is a diner that her mother and grandmother works at so she felt destined to repeat that. And as someone who also came from a small town and felt like I had nothing going for me and that I was doomed to job hop retail jobs like my parents and never quite get by enough? It resonated with me. It also resonated with me about her feelings on theater. Like music, writing, and theatre sure was a form of escapism but it was also always a form of self expression a way to pull out pieces of myself from the written word and look at my own reflection.

Even growing up id always want to play angry or villainous characters (to this day I think about how my theatre teacher passed me over for Morgana in sleeping beauty to give it to my twin who hated it, in 5th grade) because I wanted a safe space to express all this anger I had at a world that refused to listen. But not only that the confusion I had. The world was so achingly confusing and social cues confused me and the written word helped me try to unravel this confusion.

And don't even get me started on music. When I am in a venue listening to a band suddenly nothing else matters. When I am surrounded by people actively pursuing music I have both feelings of inadequacies but also at home.

When I see a concert I don't want them to perform to me like it's their job- I want to see you having fun and enjoying it even if you've been doing it for 20 years (I really see Ice Nine Kills as a shining example of this, but they are one of thousands however they are my only core experience as they are like one of few bands I've seen multiple times. And even tho it's clearly a performance as we get (fake!)killings on stage it's also for the love of horror and for the love of song. It has to be or they wouldn't be rocking the horror world with their very own convention that could very well be the next Spookyworld. If you're curious what I mean here's my review of their last convention where I explain that very concept.)

Theatre and Music are two loves I have that feel equal parts untouchable while also constantly being all around me.

And I don't know where I was going with this but I guess consider this the ramblings of someone in love with the arts who fears the arts will never love her back but she keeps trying to find her place anyway.

[nt3000s]

the thing is that no matter how much you try to give the advice that artists need to create for themselves it just will never ever hit or work until they find and experience it for themself because of the way that most artists live we’re all just growing up online on social media where the only judgement of your talent and worth is via likes and shares and when you don’t get any of that attention it makes you feel like your art has no worth and very suddenly the only reason to ever create art in the first place is to post it online to feel like it means anything in the first place when worth shouldn’t be gauged on art like that. and when you begin to rely on likes and retweets and reblogs to measure the worth of your art it very suddenly sets this idea in people that there is no point in creating original content be it stories or ocs, to the point that i see most creators i follow feel shame in themselves for bringing up their OC content instead of their usual fandom content whenever they feel the desire to. and it just beats this idea into people that you’ll never ever be able to reach the following the fandom content you draw does, even though everything you draw fanart for was made by someone with as many stories as you, and your original content will never ever mean anything to anyone that follows you, but all that fanart does. and maybe im being too nihilistic, because being a fanartist gets creators off their feet and allows them to introduce their growing audience to their original content, but i just hate that it has to happen that way in the first place. i dont really want to feel guilty for drawing what i want to draw, be it that i draw some fanart for something and it gets a bunch of attention and i start to fucking hate myself for it because i get this unrealistic and awful idea that nobody cares if my art looks cool or if im good at what i do its just about when its what other people want. and the idea of ‘creating for yourself’ as a creator becomes a very very far away goal to reach with this mindset that i cant shake. i dont really know what point i want to make here, i suppose this is just something ive always and will always be depressed about, but i guess really im very thankful to everyone that likes what i make and sees it truly with care. not out of a sense of friendship but for admiration of what it is and that maybe its interesting or something like that. and i want to do better on my part to support and bring up these very small and personal creations that we all have that its hard to feel confident about with the way the art world is, i dont want to live in this world where every artist is fighting for relevance and hating eachother when someones original content gets attention and yours doesnt when we all barely have 10 active followers. i love artists, i love writers, i love the worlds and things that people create and i want it to be shared more. i dont want to live in a world where people feel guilty for making what they want to. i guess i just wish it was easier, or that i didnt feel guilty for hating what i make in the first place like im not allowed to, i want to be kinder to myself, and love what i do more. i want everyone to be kinder

[iwakasascurse]

semi-selective FUJIWARA NO MOKOU RP blog from TOUHOU PROJECT run by gio // follows as infernalpursuit

18+ & dash only ; non-mutuals, crossovers & OCs friendly

rules under read more tags ;; rebloggable promo ;; interest checker

this is a sideblog! I’ll follow back as infernalpursuit.

this blog is 18+ only, and any minor mun who try to follow will be blocked

i don’t roleplay with anons, personals and OCs without an “about” page! You guys are free to send asks, but I won’t play with any of you.

i will also hardblock immediately anyone who knowingly reblogs or uses A.I. “art" 

obligatory mun=/= muse rule

any uncredited icon that isn't from canon material was drawn by me • fan animation icons from: Memory of Phantasm, • fangame icons from: Fantastic Danmaku Festival part III • fancomic icons from: Hourai fixed-point observation

~

first things first: I ship with chemistry first and foremost, and I lean on preferring slow burns unless properly discussed.

Mokou is demiromantic, sapphic and polisexual. She may engage in more than a sexual relationship at the same time and expects her partners to be understanding, but she's willing to discuss boundaries; this said, she'll take a lot to admit her true, romantic feelings to someone

my ship bias lean on Keine for romantic shipping

I enjoy the idea of playing a more toxic ship involving Kaguya, but only with heavy plotting beforehand. I don't ship them romantically or as lovey-dovey girlfriend, and I'll always tag anything toxic between them accordingly

i'm open for NSFW, but don't expect to jump into my inbox and immediately play smut. I'll likely RP anything sexual only with people I know well, and/or after plotting

i'm open for one-sided crushes, but again I ask please to inform me about it and to plot it out first

~

any kind of question is accepted, but if you start to annoy me with dumb nonsensical stuff or anything that doesn’t respect the rules will be deleted and blocked if you continue.

blog may end up being trigger-heavy, especially regarding death, suicide, violence and toxic relationships. Everything will be tagged properly, but don’t hesitate to ask me to add some more trigger warnings if necessary; in return, I ask mutuals to please tag IRL suicide/suicidal thoughts, FNaF and spiders. I tag any triggers as #[trigger] tw! 

I’m always in for any kind of violent threads. I love rping something involving fights - but know that any hint of godmodding will result in me dropping the thread instantly. chances are I'll roll dices for fighting threads

mokou is immortal, so she can survive otherwise mortal wounds. go all out if you want, but expect the same violence in return.

don’t spam likes, especially if you’re a personal blog

if you want to rp just drop a starter or contact me for a plot. Remember that I'm selective and I have the rights to say no.

DO NOT reblog RPs, asks, headcanons or IC posts you’re not directly involved, unless we agreed for you to be part of it. i will hardblock you right away

I heavily encourage reblog karma. I’m obviously calmer when it comes to sentence starters, but if i reblog a headcanon prompt and i get nothing just to see it reblogged immediately i might end up unfollowing.

reblog stuff from source, no matter if they’re prompts, memes, musing or other people’s art. unless source isn’t available, I will promptly block any non-mutuals who reblog from me and eventually mutuals who keep doing it.

i have a ton of blogs, and therefore a ton of threads, and i mostly reply and post immediately to threads that inspire me the most while putting most others in queue, generally posting either one or two a day. whatever thread i reply to first isn't a sign of me not wanting to interact with you, just. have patience fnmdasg

this said, i might occasionally drop threads from time to time, but i'll always let people know; i occasionally also lose notifications both for threads and IMs since tumblr hates me in particular, so in case hit me up

~

at last, a special rule for my more "confrontational" muses: i will hold them back from making comments or actions that make you, the mun, personally uncomfortable, but chances are that i'll let them go as far as they're allowed to during threads. if they have a problem with your muse, they will voice them; if they're violent, they'll be violent. i fully expect consequences for their words and actions if they take things too far, and i expect the same in return, but i won't make them more gentle unless it's something that troubles whoever i'm interacting with. i value your safety out of character, and diverse and at times antagonistic relationships and discussions in character. we can sit down and plot out anything that has the chance to make things sour and upsetting for the muses to make sure we don't cross boundaries, of course.

gio, 20+ y/o, italian, female

main blog is slightly-gay-pogohammer

[tehawesomelyjuanthegreater]

My apologize for cancel comms idea cause reasons unaccepted

I Had to cancel the comms idea to a few folks that I was going to do. This past Friday I was going to do the commission for next month until I got removed and left behind and betrayed, at in discord-when I didn't do anything wrong...  I was going to do this process for next month what seemed going to do officially, but I was literally removed as to friend and betrayed-unknown why it did that.... with things was like that, it happens before with a folk on amino folk on discord who simply removed me the same vibe before when I said yes I will do cash app - what it seems to me that it officially not accept-able and very unpolite move to do their own customer when doing commission (that part with amino folk, a friend she left me behind on August 2024) - this happens to another russian folk who help me out how to do commission paid and did that, she left me behind eariler this year---- as it seem that stated  

Unpolite movement and attempted actions... 

In the pastime I have literally gotten tired a little bit of a folk from Amazon that left me behind when this past October 2024, where a folk left me behind, gave a message very upsetting that she had been replaced, and she left the VA group that I was in..... 

There has been multiple minds out of frustration and I was strictly disappointed when I things. At firstly I did not appreciate 1 folk when I was gonna to do the commission-she said the "huh" quotes, and it got me annoyed about that, confirmed cancel the idea who refused to follow me on social, and another person who was waiting impatience for the commission - didn't bother to join up my discord server group, confirmed removed that idea other one was canceled........  

To be honest, I have a tough spot during October 2024 with real life matter that I care more than online nonsense, while online scene has become more declincing more that ever........ even with the social media is dying big time from what I witness, now come to the art status with commission instead art trade and request, same vibe... 

There have been truthful and actual real people who understood that they are doing paid commissions, the real them, also doing paid art to them when, indeed for the sake of my help, that I'm doing following that I'm currently straightening up things .... There are folks who are in need, there folks like me that are in need, no joke about it and no an official excuse.....   Although I have been doing my mission completely, it is to help the art community put a stop on AI and I to been doing it for real, not false as it seems NO.

With things are considered what yet to be made, set as stone officially-it is what it is, they don't deserve anything better to a whole... let not forget that I'm only me and as a human. But it seems today standard humans has been excuses completely due to decline on popularity and doesn't seem to care, even I have feeling... as so I have been growning out tiredly the same repeats on that... it seems me as a customer who helping the art community to do paid commission is trying to so hard to help out the art community and save it, help the artist and my help for my following, it doesn't seem that folks that I have to cancel don't understand how I feel and treat not poorly bad, but poorly spoken....  

I had to apologize for canceling the ideas commission... but I'm keeping other ideas that I'm going to pay them for next time.

Online has been going downhill every day... Could blame my past on how things have decreased from the past 15–18 years, that exactly the response what spread the virus goes... 

I have plans for what I need to do in my following. I know there are people who need help if they're planning to do a following or doing a career officially........ 

The more hurt I am, more seriously disappointed and frustrated and annoyed. I am used to this and fighting tiring, it is tiring-some... 

Im understanding this officially that Im nothing special, but the more it get to think like from others, you wont be finding no one elses better on present day since online has been decline... ah well..

Well till then..

Happy Thanksgiving and happy holiday!

[lunariamv]

︒☽ ✯⋅ [rules and disclaimers] (i'm adding this just in case) ︒☽ ✯⋅

this is just something i want to have just in case so i can weed out my target audience (audience capture basically), cement myself, and to avoid fights if i ever get into any lol

i got better things to do then argue like its twitter

⚠️ so if you disagree with any of these, to the point where it will bother you, please find someone else's stuff, my content is not for you ⚠️

☆ my main target audience are grills like me :D who are openminded and just want to consume stories with good plot and characters;; 

☆ i'm a little edgy/traditional, (politically i'm like in the middle) and my takes may sometimes bleed into my work (if they're in my writing or art) and they might not correlate with mainstream opinions;;

ex: free speech/expression and true equality (i think opportunity and success should be based on ability and talent, not identity. im sigma lol)

ex: NUANCE EXISTS -- not everything is black and white, i believe you can like things from a person and also not condone everything they do;; and i do not take things at face value, i'm about skepticism and seeing both sides to a story

☆ compelling writing >>> relatable writing;; I'm more about writing stories for the plot, character relationships, growth, personalities, etc. the characters physical identity (ex; race) is secondary, unless its pivotal to the story;; i'm srry but i will always prefer an interesting character than a boring one that's supposed to be my representation

⚠️ basically: a character's race/identity shouldn't matter too much, because people can relate to a character regardless of what they look like ⚠️

☆ what i write or make will always be my choice. -- i will not be bending the knee to people who want me to change my writing or art (in a way i disagree with) or be bullied out of making content. my works are self indulgent, so it will have things not everyone will like. you can't please everyone, so i choose not to, and i only cater to my target audience.

if you like my work, then you like it, if you don't, you don't and go look for someone else to suit your tastes. (or be like me and make ur own stuff heheh) i'm not looking to change it to something i won't enjoy creating, because then i would not post.

☆ if you are prone to take offense easily, do not engage with me or my works, they will not be for you. -- i believe taboo subjects can be in narratives for the purpose of storytelling, because that's just a normal part of fiction. it shouldn't take away from the story, or reflect the author (unless they have a pattern of being weird, i guess?)

☆ i make content for a specific audience, so apologies if its not inclusive for everyone, please go look for someone else, there's a lot of media out there that's hyper inclusive, so i usher you to go find those (and i hope you do :>)

☆ Separate fiction from reality + Separate art from the artist -- I do not condone any dark content/themes depicted in my works. Any works done in fiction should not be adapted to real life.

☆ I usher viewers to be responsible when engaging with my works. -- I.e. if you're a minor you probably shouldn't be interacting with nsfw or media marked as mature. Policing what people see online is impossible though, so I'd rather not go out of my way to. I'm not liable if people overlook my warnings, ratings, or tags;;

supervising what you look at online is ultimately your parents job, not mine

(as of right now) I would rate most of my stuff right now for like teenage and up, but I do have stuff that I also consider 18+, so please try to heed my ratings/warnings/mature tagged stuff and block them!!

☆ please don't ask for updates or requests (unless i ask) -- i don't really have this issue so ty!

i don't really do requests because i usually just write or draw when i have an idea and want to see it through. i do my best when i'm motivated, in the mood, and doing what i feel like; i have nothing against requests, its just not for me ^^;

☆ my work might have plot holes, typos, errors, and ill try to fix them accordingly (unless there's a reason for it) and i'll try to complete works, unless i really have no motivation to finish them

same for my art, i'm still practicing so it kinda sucks rn but that's how progress works

☆ constructive criticism is welcome -- i don't mind criticism on my works, and i do read/hear them out. however, be respectful about them, and i will be respectful back (even if i have a differing opinion and decline requests);; that being said, i have a right to decline taking your advice if i disagree with your opinion.

☆ (extra obvious rule) Do not edit, repost, or sell my artwork without permission! Do not edit, repost, or plagiarize my writing without permission!

˚✧ i figured i should put my foot down now rather than later ^^;

˚✧ i'll probably lose a lot of potential fans but idc,, i just wanna make stuff for people like me, which is probably a small group but ya; not to be parasocial but love you guys sm ♡♡♡♡

˚✧ if you disagree with some of my takes, or you're not in my target audience but still like my works, that's ok!! ^^ i'm just trying to ward off the people i definitely don't want engaging with me (the people who don't know an individual personally but will attack them for having an unpopular opinion)

˚✧ i have zero interest in engaging with people like that, so if that happens, i will not hesitate to block; this acc is not for debating ppl im not destiny >:U

˚✧ at the end of the day, id rather have a small fanbase and writing/making what i enjoy, than be popular and miserable with my work lol

˚✧ the internet is a spooky place, and i just wanna have fun and make stuff for da girlies and chill people :))) this is my small pocket dimension for that ^^

IM NOT TRYING TO BE LIKE DREAM THAT MAN IS WHIPPED BY HIS FANS XDDDD

˚✧ divider by cafekitsune

[mummer]

hellooooooo smart person!!! i have two asoiaf questions to ask you. so i was reading adwd, the chapter with ellaria sand making her big speech (can i take the skull to bed with me, to give me comfort in the night?) which was literally one of the best monologues ever. but i think it frames justice in a bitter, bloodthirsty manner. the martells are completely understandably pissed off by the lannisters, is george saying in this instance, even though vengeance is good (emotionally), it’ll screw everyone over? and does this apply to the starks/boltons too? we have so many good speeches on war and justice: broken man, this one, bathe in bolton blood, the mummer’s farce is almost over, etc. but they do conflict. is that the point? justice is better not pursued? or needs to be thought out?

ALSO. your vibe is that you’re a theon enjoyer. so i was wondering where his story is. it’s about identity, yes? but who is he? he’s not a greyjoy, i don’t think, he seems so disconnected from that violent culture, but he’s no stark. i think he wants a family, but the north will never accept him as a stark. so what’s theon’s purpose? i’m so sorry for talking so much but i always love your answers

ok ok ok. anon ily. i might answer the theon one in a separate post if i have time; im gonna try to be as brief as possible but i am gonna put this under a readmore because you touched on uhhh probably the central question of the whole series lol! in fact you could probably write a phd thesis about violence and justice in asoiaf lol, but lets see if i can boil it down quickly maybe not clickbait???? (i lied, this got egregiously long)

ok ok ok some disclaimers up front. I personally am probably a bigger pacifist than most people lol, so this may colour my take somewhat. secondly spoilers but my answer is that i dont think the series actually has a solid answer to the question of retribution/vengeance. my favourite kinds of art are pieces that ask questions that can't be answered. and: is violence ever acceptable? can it be used as a means to a good/just end? <- is like, a hugely unsettled matter in the entire human experience. this is a question we all ask ourselves at some point. it's even more complicated and tangled in real life! is the death penalty ever okay? how can we wage just wars? how do we protest subversively? can people be rehabilitated? even: can we change? that's what politics are all about! the q of violence is something i am constantly thinking about and am still unsure of my answers! most people are!

what asoiaf does so well is pick at the idea of violence in about a hundred different ways and though a hundred different lenses. not all violences are equal! of course not! it is very clear about this, as well as that said violence is not always physical, is most often institutional. and justice.... well justice is completely incoherent in this world!!! the first chapter opens with the protagonist executing a man we as readers KNOW did nothing morally wrong! the thing with asoiaf is that there is always an added nuance to challenge you when you think you've made up your mind. someone shows a glimmer of humanity, or else descends into unexpected cruelty, or else complicates the narrative. there is always a 'but'.

for example: take robb's war for ned. he is trying to avenge his father, save his sister. okay, that's noble. that's just. you want to root for that. BUT: their warpath endangers hundreds of thousands of smallfolk, not to mention the thousands of innocents in their armies forced to fight one another and die for the sake of one man. how could that be worth it? BUT: tywin's army was desolating the riverlands anyway, so wouldnt it be a net good to defeat them? BUT: protecting smallfolk was never their priority; their 'justice' is only for the highborn; politically, an independent north would probably not be any better or worse for the peasantry. a tree of hanging women who lay with lions. "the north remembers", when it's first used on page, is not a joyous rally; it's robb reflecting bitterly that harrion karstark cannot openly forgive him for killing rickard, or risk losing face. rickard, who was killed for killing lannisters, because the lannisters killed his sons-- because robb waged war, because the lannisters killed ned! a poisoned cycle that can't end, an ideology defined by war, remembrance and loyalty as its own sort of sickness.

the thing about violence as justice in asoiaf is that it is never portrayed as revelatory. it's not... like... cool lol. did tywin deserve to die? idk, maybe. but this does not lift a weight off tyrion's shoulders. it doesn't feel like he won. this is something all characters must bear and grapple with. arya in particular is rich with this and that could be its own essay ofc. at its simplest, though, we have sandor. he killed her friend. a child. do child-murderers deserve to die? a lot of people in the world would say yes. but when he is at her mercy, when he is literally begging for her to kill him, she can't. it's too much. when dany orders the disembowlment of the slavers, she questions the choice internally. does torture have utility, here? what is it worth? ("But later, when she passed the men dying on the posts, when she heard their moans and smelled their bowels and blood... Dany put the glass aside, frowning. It was just. It was. I did it for the children.") again, i dont think the narrative has a straight or easy answer, which is why she's asking at all! if these answers were easy there wouldnt be a book. or things like jon's babyswap, which i consider its own kind of violence— but it is born from an unflinching desire to avoid worse violence. so... can it be just, then? theon murders the miller's boys. little kids. does he deserve to be punished? yeah, right? but then we are confronted with reek, and the empathy in the reader flinches, says: nooooo not like that!!!! and then feels bad for ever thinking it! so if he can change, did he ever deserve to die? when joffrey dies-- joffrey!!!-- there is very little catharsis to be found. ("He has Jaime's eyes. Only he had never seen Jaime look so scared. The boy's only thirteen.") the prose focuses on his purple face, his futile desperation to breathe. the way he looks like a child, because he is.

and then there are all the logistical, logical ends that need to be dealt with when seeking retribution. you got back at someone: great. now their family or allies or loved ones will get back at you, and on and on it will go forever until no one remembers the original injustice (see: the brackens and the blackwoods). now there is a power vacuum, or a counterrevolution, now the crops have burned and everyone is starving, now there are orphans. so... was it worth it? this is generally never the intent, but none of this can be sidestepped, either. a large point: no matter how justified in war you may feel, these consequences must still be borne. whether they are worth it in the end is your decision to make.

so we come to ellaria, with no clearer answer than what we started with. and i agree, it's one of my favourite quotes too. the endless question of: what do we do with what has been done to us? the violence has already been done, there is no way to bring someone back, there is no retribution. the victims are dead and so is their killer. and yet it is a hollow justice, because nothing has changed. women like elia are still bartered as political pawns and discarded. again, there is no coherent justice in westeros. it is only by chance that gregor died anyway. the systems of power are still functioning, and the aberration of that is felt. the sand snakes are grieving, but they are grieving the only way they know how. oberyn walked past obara's weeping mother when she picked up a spear. the only language in westeros is violence, the only power in blood. well, it's better than being powerless, right? .....right?

there is no good option. doran picks a side, having agonized over it for decades. this was not easy for him! the martells are understandably pissed off by the lannisters— of course— but... who is left to seek justice from? tywin is dead. robert is dead. aerys and rhaegar are dead. gregor is dead. amory lorch is dead. they could war against/kill cersei... i guess. jaime, maybe? myrcella? tommen? great, what would be the point? will their deaths feel good, emotionally, to the martells? or will they just feel hollow, like so many scenes of retribution in the series?

so i might favour ellaria's vision-- peace and submission, anything just to survive, to avoid hurting people. but this has its own very very obvious problems! pacifism is not a get out of jail free card lmao! "war will come, whether we wish it or not," obara says. it's highly possible this move would be seen as a sign of "weakness", and would only invite worse violences from the ruling power. again— the misery of this world is systemic, not individual. that's what feudalism is. that's what power is. it requires violence to maintain. but violence is also almost always required to challenge or protest it. so, ok. fuck. fuck! how can a world like this be borne? and how can we change it?

god i wish i knew!!!!!! — george rr. martin, 2011

[dogydayz]

Not to vague post, and this is especially not anything against the person who brought this to my mind, but I feel the need to make sure people know this since I post a LOT about how I like Sonadow and don't wanna attract the wrong crowds-

I'm NOT okay with Sonadow depictions that are abusive. I'm not okay with ANY abusive ships being seen as cute or romantic. That's a huge thing for me, and it's super triggering to see people romanticize abuse and shit.

HOWEVER. I do not view the rivalry aspect to them as inherently "abusive" so long as it's depicted in a way that's like. Mutual. They enjoy it. They enjoy competing and battling and shit. Because I totally love that idea for them, and even think it's a tad odd when they're shown as /only/ being super affectionate, since their rivalry is sort of intrinsic to their relationship. They're basically perfect for competing with one another, and I've even shown in my Razor AU that I tend to go with the idea that, similarly to the cosmic rule of Sonic and Tails being brothers, Sonic and Shadow are like. Destined to be rivals. Literally star-crossed rivals. They are somewhat of equals in their abilities, they can learn one anothers' powers too, and they both have weird natural Chaos energy. They bounce off one another perfectly emotionally and competitively. THAT'S a huge part to their relationship! (I have no actual problems with the more affectionate depictions of them, I just generally like to show their competitions AS their affection at times. Their fights are like dances. I think that's a wonderfully interesting concept for a ship!)

I will say that their dynamic is very much one of those "it works in fiction, but it wouldn't work super well in reality". Like, their traits are too extreme for reality by default, and their dynamic would, in the real world, simply not work out well since they'd be humans and deal with Human Issues. The fact of the matter is that there are things that CAN BE FINE IN FICTION, but not in reality (do NOT spin this to mean i'm okay with actual proshipper-type shit. That's NOT what im talking about. What i'm talking about is more like.... Like, pairings that would be unstable irl due to lack of environmental control and how human psychology works but can work in fiction because of expanded possibilities that already exist in fiction, such as characters who are assassins but aren't immediately bad guys and shit).

Which is kinda why I got so shocked by some of the tags on AO3 Sonadow fics, because I sorta neglected to consider that there are people who DO depict it as abusive.

Another note is that I like to stick to an older canon for Shadow, but I often like to use details from more modern media for him. Which is probably why I don't see their rivalry and the possibilities for them to have a relationship more than just friends (whether it be qpr or romantic, i dont really care since i'm an enjoyer of both) as really bad. Because I don't really consider the more recent times where they've battled and Shadow's been more "nasty" to him as how I base things on (excluding the Twitter Takeovers since those go off-script and Kirk does his damn best to make Shadow actually more like who he truly is there, so I see those as positive depictions of their banter).

Maybe this post wasn't needed, maybe it could've been assumed by how I talk about them, however it was weighing on my mind to make sure people understand how I feel about this whole topic, because I do need to recognize that there ARE very problematic and gross depictions of the ship and I do NOT support them. So when I reblog art of the guys fighting and shit, just do know that this is how I tend to view it, I'm not at all trying to seem like I'm romanticizing abusive behaviors or anything, I just like the different ways they could be interpreted as rivals and/or as partners

[buttercupsbitch]

im finally watching under the red hood (ik a jason stan who hasnt seen it, blasaphemous) and holy shit. Ive got so much to say abt this.

Firstly, the line "tell the big man i said hello" is both horrible and amazing. Joker planted the bomb. he knew jason was not leaving that place. He was telling jason to say hi to god.

on that note, joker comparing him to dick? awful. not only did bruce do it, but others too?

dick/nightwing is so funny??? i love it honestly

the idea that joker was innocent before batman caused his insanity just adds a whole new layer to jason using the name, red hood. both of his biggest regrets under the same name? 10/10

batman beating joker to the point hes in a body cast for six months over jason?? good. shouldve killed him.

dick being shocked that bruce thanked him is very sad??

i love little jason and his quips. its so cute and totally doesnt make me wonder if he was doing all the showy flips and lines to mimic dick bc he thinks thats the robin bruce wants

the way bruce puts the pieces together, i lowkey hope it hurt him to even think about it

jason said "these hands rated pg-17. gotta be an adult"

JASON SAYING "YOU HEARD WRONG" abt them saying he uses his power to kill for money bc REALLY HES PROTECTING KIDS

"What took you so long?" "Shut up and fight"

"I missed watching you work" man was not even trying to hide his identity was he

He pushed him out of the fucking way.

"be glad i only killed one" yessir. god i adore it here.

i love jensen ackles all the time but him as my favorite adoptive trauma buddy is the best thing ever. the quips yall.

maybe its my trauma but i like that bruce is blaming himself.

the amount of fucks that joker had in black mask scene is hilarious and very relatable. "not these guys. cause well. theyre kinda dead"

ive been saying ra's wrong. i thought it was pronounced Rays not raysh.

im glad that ra's feels bad. good. fuck you too.

also 10/10 for Talia. bc shes hot af in this movie, would watch anything that had her starring in this art style.

jason absolutely going ham on the league after they resurrect him is very on brand honestly.

BRUCE JUST LEAVNG WHILE RA'S IS TALKING FUCKING GOLD ok

"his life and his death are my greatest failures" good. feel bad you shit show. on that note, when he says life, im assuming he meant the way he treated him not yk actually regretting his life.

my partner. 10/10 my soldier 0/10

"MOTORCYLE FETISH" i love that so much. never heard anything better.

jason is legitimately so smart ok. the whole plan.

what is joker's obsession with slumber parties?

"something you helped make" i love it so much.

i hate that he was right that bruce would come save joker.

"crap." the deadman expression ik that man was wearing under that awful mask.

"what bothers you more? that your greatest failure has returned from the grave?" he thinks that he is the greatest failure when really its his death. awful.

"antiquated sense of morality" agreed. fuck him.

"i thought id be the last person you would let him hurt." how much more can you hurt me?

i hate that the reasoning behind keeping joker alive is actually just his own moral dilemma, no matter how much he says it isnt.

jason just wanted bruce to pick him one time. that was it.

becoming a child soldier was the best day of his life. let that sink in.

why do we never get to see adult jason's face? unfair.

[yinses]

B R A N D E D

| he would make sure that everyone knew who you belonged to |

tattoo artist! sukuna ryomen

rating: t

a/n: this is going to be a three part series. it got too long because i couldn’t shut up. thank you to @teoran for beta reading !! 

you should have never informed yuuji that you were thinking about getting a tattoo, because of course his first response would be hey, sukuna owns a shop. why don’t you stop there. as if you didn’t already known that. your other friend, unfortunately had not known how to be subtle about it.

its when you go to hand off your card that they gasp audibly, drawing the attention of both yourself and the woman behind the counter.

“you’re not going to ask for a discount? i mean you know the owner, right?”

she jumps back quick enough to dodge the errant elbow you throw her way.

you knew you would regret telling her.

the woman is undeterred as she take your card, looking bored with the news. “so you know sukuna, huh?” the way she said it implied that it wasn’t the first time it had been made known to her.

you had known the man long enough to know where her thoughts were going with that assumption. sukuna wasn’t only popular for his art. a shudder rolled through your body at the idea of being categorized as one of his flings.

it wasn’t as though you were intentionally shaming the women. but it was sukuna. the same guy who locked you and his younger brother out on the patio whenever he was meant to keep an eye on you. and then blamed you for hiding from him when the responsible adults got home.

in hindsight, maybe you should have chosen another location. but now your card has been charged.

you scribbled your signature on the receipt, “uh yeah, awhile now. im not requesting him or anything.”

“his appointment book is full anyway. he doesn’t take walk ins.” its not said snidely, just matter of fact. as if she was seasoned with dealing with these kind of customers.

the man of topic strides in then, carrying a few bags of take-out that he drops carelessly onto the counter. he doesn’t m look unlike any other day, a loose white sleeveless shirt with a low hanging v-neck that just invited attention to his skin. the swirls of black ink made permanent by his hand only. though that was the advantage of this field and owning your own business on top of it.

sukuna was prepared to ignore the clientele planted at front desk, until he did a double take. those vermilion eyes took you in, morphing from speculation, to shock, a pinch of awe, then back to postulation.

“what are you doing here?”

a small frown mars you face. you didn’t actually consider that perhaps sukuna wouldn’t want you here. it was one thing to know the guy, but whether you wanted to accept it or not, you weren’t just another customer. so you unsurely respond with, “getting a tattoo?”

the snort he gives isn't one of annoyance. in fact its almost comforting to see the minuscule curl of his lips until they start to part, “yeah, missing something aren’t you?”

you realize with a frown that he’s referring to his brother.

“i have other friends.”

that slow smile wides as he gives your friend a brief look of appreciation. suddenly all those years of witnessing him cart his flings around rise to the forefront of your mind.  really nothing rarely changed. “ i can see that.”

his gaze cuts back to you, “what are you getting? your boyfriends name?”

you cant tell if he’s teasing, fishing or a combination of them both.

he turns to lean over the counter, arms flexing at the action and pinches the fresh design still hot from the printer. you resist the urge to shuffle in place as he inspects the image with more interest than there were lines. it was hardly all that complex, just as you intended.

sukuna finally voices his opinion, to no surprise of your own. “yeah? kind of small isn’t it?”

“its my first sukuna,” you drawl.

you realize too late that the wording isnt best around him.

“no kidding.”

he tugs a styrofoam box free from the plastic bag before gesturing to you with a tilt of his head.

“alright, lets knock it out.”

you look to the woman expecting her to complain about his pending appointments but she only returns it with a pointed look. when it came down to it, what the boss wanted goes.

right then.

turning, you address your friend who seemed more invested in watching sukuna’s departure. “are you coming?”

her gaze snaps to you and she doesn’t even bother to pretend. she shrugs, “you may not be squeamish about needles but i am.” her hand waves vaguely towards the lounge area near the coffee station and stack of assorted snacks. “i’ll come running if you scream though,” she teases as you turn down the hall.

sukuna’s voice carries from the right in guidance where you find him setting his food off to the side. the room is neat. though you don’t know what you were expecting given the health expectations lining his work. then again, you’d spent the better part of the decade watching him cart week old pizza boxes out of his room so it was hardly a baseless assumption.

aside from the desk of tools and variety of inks the only other defining feature was the wall at the back. there was no rhyme or direction to the madness. the once white wall was littered with varying penmanships and messages. almost like an autograph book. some derogatory, others genuinely thankful for his work - you think you see a few numbers too.

the cushion of the seat protests under his weight as he rolls to the center of the room. he has the stencil of your chosen art held up in expectation.

“where is this pretty little thing going?”

“oh my rib- here on the right.” you think nothing of bringing up the hem of your shirt to expose the skin just under the curve of your breast.

he almost looks impressed, though there is some doubt. he wheels closer and gives no warning as his hand palpates the area. “over the bone? that’s daring for your first tattoo, princess.”

the name was nothing new, an accompaniment to yuuji’s ‘brat’.

part of you actually grateful that its sukuna. the entire shop had good reviews but it was best known for his talent. besides, the charge was already sitting on your card.

“i can handle it.”

he’s still squinting at your side, fingers tickling at your skin.

“yeah?” he answers absently. nimble digits you didn't think had any taste for delicacy carefully peel the plastic from the stencil. he doesn’t second guess himself in the slightest before pressing it to your skin.

when he pulls away, the chair follows him as he collects a hand mirror from his desk to reflect the design back to you.

“double sure?” he’s still rallying your resolve, but there is a hint of warning to his voice as professionalism seeps in.

with a firm nod you seal the deal,” yeah.”

“aright, pin up your shirt out of the way. tuck it into your bra if you want.”

you were expecting this already, given the location you’d decided on. with sukuna that action comes effortlessly without thought. it was no different than the times he’d seen you in your bathing suit, your brain reasoned. at least you still had your pants this time.

sukuna rests back into a lean against his small desk. absently you note that his eyes haven't left you once since you’d entered the room.

“eager little thing aren't you?”

but its sukuna.

you shrug.“ i guess. kind of been saving up for this one.”

the noise he makes is non-committal as he nods to the angled chair.

without your shirt there was no barrier between yourself and the leather. you expected the cold chill but the lack of stickiness kind of surprised you. once again you were reminded of the indisputable list of reviews at your fingertips.

sukuna goes about collecting the materials to disinfect your skin, angling the bottle and cotton over the trash can to catch the excess drops. satisfied with the saturation, he slides back.

you try to absorb the brief shock you feel when he applies the alcohol to your skin. it was hardly a substitute for actual bracing to come but it was good practice. when you look up, you catch his gaze again.

he’d been more observant in these last few minutes than you could ever recall sukuna caring before. maybe it was the job. though the thought of him excelling at customer service has you fighting a snort.

“cold,” you supply and he gives another grunt.

he chucks the cotton ball into the trash with all the efficiency of a man who has made a sport out of it and probably keeps score.

deciding on a solid color eliminated the need for him to break away to change shades, eliminating any surplus time keeping you in this chair.

a gloved hand braces your side, pinching the skin, while the other holding the gun rests against your sternum. when the motor starts you take a careful breath in. sukuna’s eyes raise at the sound.

“not nervous?”

you blink, expecting him to just get to it.

“uh, not really? i’ve never really been afraid of needles.”

he pauses. just when you part your lips to ask what wrong the buzzing starts.

its impossible not to tense at the first bite of the needle. but you fight the urge to jerk. it stings. the vibration of the motor is uncomfortable against your ribcage but it's not unbearable. you certainly wouldn't cry.

sukuna seems to notice it as well.

“not going to lie thought you’d be more of a cry baby? weren't you the one sobbing after you stubbed your toe.”

you latch onto the idle chatter even if it's a jibe.

“i was eleven and i sprained that toe.”

he gives you a quick glance. “sure, princess. completely called for the waterworks.”

you snort. “yeah well it made me stronger. im barely affected today.”

your words are followed by a shift of his hand as it turns to follow a line, the movement pressing firmly against the underside of your breast. you're too attentive to the needle pinching at your skin to take notice.

but sukuna does, eyes narrowing without your awareness.

“yeah, i can see that.”

rather than closing your eyes to block out the pain, you find a more comforting distraction in tracing the lines of his tattoos with your gaze. you can hardly make out the first tattoo he’d gotten at the age of seventeen after forging his parents signature. 

the abstract design had now branched out, interlocking with new styles to map out the formation of a sleeve. it was almost like his own branded language. a dialect of bold shapes and bands. you’d never thought to actually ask what his tattoos meant. nor did you expect an honest answer.  

sukuna works rather quickly and efficiently while your mind wandered. even if he hadn’t squeezed you in during his lunch break this felt like the usual pace for him. he looked so in the zone as he followed the pre-made lines to perfection.

you weren’t the model customer, still having your brief moments of weakness but he rolled with the interruptions better than you expected. sukuna was brash growing up and didn’t tolerate nonsensical people. you’d had your fair share of opportunities to be chewed out by him.

and earned a reasonable amount of them, though your returning attitude said otherwise.

but this sukuna was softer, if you could put it like that. he knew the right time to give you breaks but didn’t let your nerves settle too much. when he wasn’t adding a layer to permanency to your skin, an errant finger would smooth over the swelling flesh.

more than once you heard him throw out a quiet good girl. that you knew was meant to be encouraging but it came with additional implications that tickled your skin.

he tells you that you should be grateful that the artwork doesn’t need any shading. that it was never a good fit for beginners.

your chest expands the furthest it had in the last half hour when he finally rolls back.

“alright, princess, go ahead and take a look.”

you take the offered mirror again and angle it to take in the fresh piece. the reflection you get back is- amazing. you’d been so concentrated?? on micromanaging the pain that you failed to take in the little details he’d added along with the original design.

as if reading your thoughts, he snorts. “it's not my art if i don't leave my mark. you can tell me it looks good you know.”

if you didn't know any better, you’d say he was authentic in his attempt to bait your approval.

and you had no reason not to provide.

your legs are a little shaky but you manage to balance yourself before brining the eldest itadori into a hug. sukuna goes stiff for a moment before returning the embrace and doesn’t resist when you press your face into his shoulder. there’s an awkward pat before they release each other from the hold.

sukuna .. before he’s shrugging you off.

“god, what a noob. at least let me cover it up. you’re going to irritate the skin.”

when he turns back to rummage through his desk you note the hint of a flush creeping up his nape. you know better than to mention it, instead just smiling at his back.

there is a scowl on his face as he applies the cotton square to your skin and tapes it in place.

“please do not itch this shit. i don’t care if you feel like your skin is going to fall off.”

he presses a small tube of antibiotic into your hand.

“and apply this daily. you don't need it drying out. “

you’re grateful for the little slip of printed instructions that follow. you were able to remember the sensible directions but it couldn't hurt to have additional guidance when you started to question the progress.

“oh and no sex.”

that was definitely not on the list.

sukuna raises a brow in all seriousness. “what? if you get your blood pumping too much.”

you call him on his bullshit,” this small? hardly. “

he raises his hands in mock surrender. “alright, try it yourself if you want. i charge for touch ups though.”

the two of you size each other up. just like old times.

with a sigh you relent, “fine, no sex.”

“good, see me in two weeks.”

his words stop you short. it wasn’t as if you needed anything added and he wasn’t a physician checking on your progress. if anything, you would only revisit your artist if there was a problem.

“what for?”

the dawning grin would follow you for the next fourteen days.

“to make sure you didn’t have sex.”

[seijohsbabe]

Necking

Ship: Bully!A.Miya x Reader

Tw: smut, nicknames, kinda Exhibitionism, humiliation, swear words, degradation, bullying, noncon

Wordcount: 2,5k

a/n: Please im craving for feedback or some love, I’m so sensitive rn lmao, need some confirmation that my stuff what I write is good for you guys <3

When they said high school was going to be a great time, it was a huge lie. It was hell. It wasn't the school stress, your grades were good, but there was someone in your class who kept an eye on you for no reason. Unfortunately not as you would have hoped, but the complete opposite. Atsumu Miya, pro athlete volleyball player. When you started school two years ago, you were seated right next to him. He looked nice, with his nice lazy grin, and his perfectly styled hair. But at some point evil emerged from behind this facade.

It started very small. Your things were broken, your locker was broken open, and things in there were stolen or destroyed as well. You didn't know who it was, but it wasn't a great feeling. But the whole thing really started in your second year. Right on your first day, Atsumu spilled hot coffee on your blouse. Of course, you thought it was accidental, happens to everyone. But as Atsumu became more and more aggressive with his actions, you slowly became suspect. He started to pull your hair as you walked by, put one leg in the middle of the hallway so that you flew in the middle of the floor, your skirt slipped up slightly and your books scattered all over the aisle, while Atsumu and the rest of the group just kept going. At some point, you turned to a tutor, but he denied everything.

,,Atsumu our professional volleyball player? No way“ Your parents don't let you change schools anymore, it would be too much effort, it's only 1 1/2 years left.

And so your judgment was made, another 1 1/2 years of hell with Atsumu Miya.

Half a year later, at the beginning of the last school year at this school, he exceeded all limits. He was getting more and more touchy with you.

You still sat next to him and it didn't make it any easier. In the middle of class, his long, strong hands grabbed your thighs to get higher and higher. Your hands clapped against his in protest, but he didn't mind, on the contrary, while the teacher turned around and you two sat in the back row anyway, he put your hair back so that your neck was free to attack it with his mouth, to make a big red mark.

"Now everybody can see what a slut you are." He only whispered before he wrote something for the class, which the teacher dictated without even give you a second glance.

He didn't stop with anything until today. Instead, he did even more to make your life hell. You didn't know why, and why exactly you, but unfortunately you got used to it. Falling down, the tease in class, hurting you in any way, no matter whether emotionally or physically. Today it was that time again, history and Atsumu was next to you again. He came into class with his smug grin as always, every girl turned around, but he didn't pay any attention to any of them, instead, he looked straight at you. The other girls followed his gaze to give you a dark look, but that left you cold. Only Atsumu was able to scare you. You never knew what he was up to today, what he had new on the reservation, the last time it was a volleyball that was wrongly set in your face, while you only wanted to get a message to one of his team colleagues, another time he had spilled juice over your perfect notes for class. In front of the teacher, he apologized to you several times, but you saw his big grin after the teacher turned again and the class continued. It was a vicious circle that you could never escape.

So when the lesson took its course and everything was going well so far, it wasn't long before you felt his hands on your thighs again. He only wandered up to your skirt hem and down again, but this time he even went under what your eyes read wide. He wouldn't? His face stayed calm and focused, he even nodded sometimes, but his fingers slowly pushed your panties to the side to slide his finger through your slit. It made you gasp and press your thighs together. But he just pinched you, and a small, "Let them open."

You didn't want to push him to go any further, thinking how should you push him further? He was just passing one of the last borders. His fingers ran repeatedly through your cunt, while you had to bite your hand in order not to get too loud. "Oh you Lil slut, I know you want it." He whispered softly and deliberately. But you couldn't answer at the moment, luckily the hand was still buried in your mouth while he suddenly sank 2 fingers into you. This time you couldn't help but moan softly.

,,Y/n? everything okay?“ the teacher asked.

,,Y-yes, I'm just tired." Fortunately, the teacher didn't notice anything from the hand under your skirt, but this left Atsumu unimpressed and got faster and faster with his pace, while he watched you briefly with an amused grin that you have to groan loudly, but it wasn't going to end well, so you clench your teeth and try to think of something else.

He hissed in anger that you were taking it so far. So when he tilted his fingers a little and hit your point, you groaned. It was unexpected that he hit that spot. With an evil grin, he looked over at you, his fingers now taken back.

,,Y/n, I think you should maybe breathe some fresh air don't you think? Atsumu Kun, please stay with her.“ Your teacher spoke again.

If he came with you now, what would he do to you?

,,No it's okay I can go on my-" you tried to talk yourself out of it, but a certain someone had to talk over you, of course. "Oh no y/n, you will fall over afterward, you're already so pale, come on.“

And with that, he pulled you out of the classroom followed by several strange looks from the students and the teacher.

He pulled you by your upper arm as you stumbled behind him. You dared not speak, too afraid that he might come up with a stupid idea. Nobody was in the hallway, everyone was in their class. Your steps could be heard in the whole corridor, until he suddenly stopped in front of a door and you slammed in his back. Your eyes examined the door before you were dragged in. It was the boy's toilet you were dragged into.

He pulled you into one of the cabins to lock it behind you with one click. Then he pressed you firmly against the door, holding you completely captive with his size, with no way out. He looked down at you, with an omniscient grin. He had something bad on his mind and you just hoped that you would still live after that. Of course, he noticed your fear and clicked his tongue a few times while he shook his head thoughtfully.

"Oh my little y/n-chan, don't be afraid, I'm gonna show ya something real‘ good. Believe me, you'll like it."

But you didn't like a thing he did, so you just looked up at him suspiciously. His blond hair fell slightly on his face, his brown eyes glistened at you. Slowly his hands sank down to get under your skirt. This time your hands pressed onto his well-trained chest while he clasped your cunt.

"Still so wet for me, my lil slut hmm?" Your head shook, but he just grinned wider.

"Oh you will see, later you'll be begging for my cock." With these words, he tore your blouse open and then tossed it on the floor next to you. His gaze wandered over your body, back up to your eyes. You just stood there, looking at him, no clue of what to do. He moved quickly to take off his uniform to show his muscles that smelled of strength. He leans down to stop just in front of your face. One hand leaned against the door the other brushed through your hair. You looked at him dreamily, you were just too much in thoughts of what to do when he caught your lips with his lips. It caught you by surprise, with widening eyes. You already had your first kiss, but this one was nothing compared to this one.

Atsumu was dominant, demanding, and quick. He thrust his tongue into your mouth to exude even more dominance. Until it went down and down, leaving a trail of spit until it met your collarbone, to stop there and suck onto the skin. Your hands found themselves in his hair again, pulled tight, which made him grunt. After a while, he broke away to look at his work of art from afar. He looked satisfied, and ran his thumb over it until he stared into your eyes again.

In a short time, his hands were back on his shoulders to push you down with force. You couldn't fight it and let yourself fall with your knees on the floor. It made you wince, the stabbing pain went through your whole body. His hands were now on his pants to slowly open them to let them and his underpants in one moment fall. His cock jumped against you. It pulsed. The tip was already leaking pre-cum. The size alone made you swallow. He just laughed down at you while he saw your amazed face. His hands were now in your hair to twist them around and have a closer grip on you.

"Suck" he directed you with your lips to his penis. "I don't think I-" and again he interrupted you, "Oh you can baby, and you will, now suck." He said with an annoyed tone. Your hands clasped his penis. They just fit drum. You started with little kitten licks along the tip and the length, but that wasn't enough for him. He pulled your hair to make you look up. "Take it in your dirty mouth you slut."

You just nodded, to look at its length one time again. Your mouth opened slowly to lie over the first few centimeters, but Atsumu was impatient, rolled his eyes, and directed your head down. Quickly his tip tapped against your throat and you had to gag, but there were still a few centimeters left. His hand in your hair, the strong grip made you wince while he guides your head up and down at an even faster pace. Your gagging noises echoed in the whole boys toilet, your spit ran out of your mouth down on your chin.

His other hand leaned above you on the door, his head hanging down, eyes closed. "Fuck- just like that baby." He groaned while his rhythm slowly decreased. Your eyes watered, and tears ran down your face.

Suddenly he pulled you away from his cock, and looked at your weeping face, spit ran down your face mixed with your tears.

"Look at you, already so fucked out." He laughed more to himself. Then he tugged you up on your hair, your scalp burned. When you were on your feet again, he finally let go of it. He suddenly turned you around and pressed your face to the door. Your cheek squeezed against the hard material as Atsumu tore your panties under your skirt. "I needed them!" you whined to him.

"Not anymore." He lifted your skirt slightly to collect your wetness again with one finger.

He took it with relish in his mouth as if he were trying the most delicious chocolate in the world. With a "pop" he let it slide out of his mouth, and groaned at your taste.

"You know y/n-Chan, I've always dreamed about that right here, and finally I can do it in real, it's just fuck- so much better than I imagined."

Your hands pressed against the wall of the cabin, which was getting hotter and hotter as you tried to see what he was going to do. However, when you felt his cock stroking along your entrance, the panic came up.

,,Please Atsumu! Dont do this please!“

But before you could continue, he buried himself in you with a jolt. To be filled with the stabbing pain all at once was not exactly pleasant. Especially with his size it was not really easy to accept the whole thing that fast. But he didn't even give you time for that, as he began to pounding right inside you while his hands were on your hips. Now you had to let out a moan too.

Although it burned, the feeling of being completely filled was so pleasant. So lapsed in lust you didn't notice at first that he hit you on your butt. Only when he hit it a second time you had to let out a small cry. "You like that don’t you? My lil cumslut. Fuck your sucking me in, so g-gready for my cock huh?“

And with the constant pace and one more hit on your butt, the knot of lust burst and you saw stars. You were afraid your legs were going to give up so much they wobbled. Your moans echoed trough the whole boys toilet, maybe even on the hall.

Worst of all, Atsumu kept his tremendous pace. The overstimulation was too much for you to make you cry. But he just grinned as always and gripped your hips even tighter.

Out of nowhere, he turned you around to pick you up by your thighs and push you against the cabin door. The door rattled loudly, you were almost afraid it would fall apart.

He picked up his lost pace again while your senses are completely out of order. All you felt was his length in you. The tip kissed your point with every thrust. Your hands, which were still just on his shoulders, were now holding on to his neck to pull him closer and press his lips tightly onto yours. You needed something to hold on.

The pace slowed down for a moment, because he was probably surprised, but didn't let himself be confused for long until he hammered into you again. You both moan into the kiss until Atsumu broke up and took you one more time into consideration. Your eyes rolled back, your tongue peeked out a little, and your hands went up to pull on his hair. "Aw come on, another one, you can do it." You just cried towards him, the pleasure overwhelmed you completely.

The knot got bigger as Atsumu put pressure on your clitoris while he penetrated your point further. „Fuck, im cumming! Come on, come with me baby.“ He groaned head back in his neck. Your legs clasped him tightly while the pressure rose again and everything is twice as sensitive as before. ,,I-I, too much Atsumu-" you've mumbled. And with his last final snap you cummed together. He shot his semen into you, white long strings painted your walls white while you were trembling. He groaned with you together until he let go of your legs and let you sit on the floor.

As he dressed again like nothing happened, he looked at your trembling figure, completely fucked out, cum dribbling out of you. He stuck a finger in your cunt to push the cum back in, and took your chin between his fingers to make you look him in the face. "Better not to waste any of my present, you dumb Lil’ bitch alright?" And with that he walked out of the cabin even hummed a little song while you were completely out of your mind on the floor, trembling.