#im trying to be so patient rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thenecropolix · 4 months

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Day 23 of having my discord account hacked:

#im trying to be so patient rn #and see if I can get my old account back #even though I made a new one already #discord if you don't fucking hurry up and say something already #I am losing it over here #not being able to talk to anyone #and also realizing how lowkey chronically online I was with discord #asters musings

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chronicowboy · 9 months

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manifesting a s7 bi buck confirmation where the 118 are on a call and the victim/their friend/Random Civilian is getting annoyed makes a comment aimed at buck & eddie about "straight white men" and they both look offended then eddie says "do I look white???" and buck's like "do I look straight???"

how the others react (if at all) is tbc at this stage

i'm a sucker for inappropriate whisper arguments in the Absolute Worst of Situations so now all i'm seeing is eddie whipping around to buck when he says it with the widest doe eyes any human being has ever achieved and oblivious little buck waving the vic/friend/civilian off like "it's fine, could happen to anyone, you know" and then eddie's like "uh, yeah, it did, you're not straight?" and then it's like for the GA oh no are they going to do a kind of internalised homophobia arc for eddie where he re-examines his entire friendship with buck after finding out he likes men and yes he is going to re-examine his entire friendship with buck after finding out he likes men but it'll be the opposite of internalised homophobia (externalised homoeroticism)

#sami answers #very attached to their little whisper argument ive created in my head as hen and chim try to treat the patient #eddie: you're not straight?#buck: no??#eddie: since when?#buck: since always eddie? i know you know how gay people work #eddie: but. natalia? taylor? ali? abby? oh my god you weren't like punishing yourself for being gay with them were you?#buck: no wtf eddie. you were there when i was explaining bisexuality to chris the other day. when i came out to him u know #eddie: im pretty sure id remember you coming out to my son buck #buck: why are you being so weird about this #eddie: because im your best friend!#buck: what and it's freaking you out that i like men?#eddie: NO! i'm freaked out that i didn't know. did you not think you could tell me 🥺#buck: I THOUGHT YOU KNEW #and bobby's just live slugging it over in the corner like 'should i intervene or are they going to come to some realisations rn'

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dogboner · 5 months

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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"

#guy who's very proud of how well he's handling things rn lol #anyways personal time:#but idk man i kinda remembered smthn from my past n #like. if it wasn't for how much effort i've put into my mental health n coping skills #n my support network now #idk id be in a much worse place.#so i'm gonna forgive myself for not really sleeping last night #n having a hard time with my bpd feelings n emotions #because fuck man! i'm doin really good actually!#growth doesn't have to be oh man i'm never ever sad anymore #it's just. idk i don't cry because i Wanna die anymore #sometimes i have an intrusive thought of suicide #and it makes me cry because i DONT wanna die. and i know those thoughts are not good or needed #but i'm not gonna beat myself up for having them. i'm just gonna be patient n gentle w myself #n give myself time #n everything will be okay(:#bc it is okay! it's in the past and i'm safe now. and i wanna make other people feel safe too #growth starts w baby steps. n that's why it's so hard to recognize in yourself a lot of the time #it goes slooooooowly. for me at least lol.#mine #despite everything i am happy because i know my life now is one i love (: and one im actively trying to better for myself

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jendoe · 9 months

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okay it has been. Months. BUT i wanted to pop in since today is my birthday and let yall know how much i've appreciated the patience and kindness that's been shown to me this year 🫶 i am really proud of myself for getting here and i can only thank the wonderful people in my life for it 🤧 so lots of love from ME to all of you and also here's a picture of my fosters bc i Have been doing things in my absence

#*ajtxt #their names are fruitcake and moonpie and yes if you know me i Am bad allergic but its fine #more updates is i'm down to one therapy session a month and i'm now the office manager for my job. tho things are Real Slow rn #and ig i went blonde but it'll be blue. eventually. bc i dyed it blue in like september and decided thats my color #idk i'm just taking it day by day and its still not Easy but i'm starting to actually feel like myself again #which is again thanks to all the love and support 🫶 i love yall im so serious #im gonna try to post more in the new year just please continue to be patient w me #bc i missed out on SO much and its a little daunting #mwah

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bunnihearted · 7 months

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🤧🐀🌧️🌊

#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn #trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come #nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired #i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u #also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my #eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm #bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna #be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk #idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not #sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow #nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just #dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol #im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired #i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do #anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can

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thisisthevoice · 5 months

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alsoooo even in my own cohort i know theres at least one person whos pro-life and, last i knew, wanted to go into labor & delivery. i mean if youre a fucking nurse you shouldnt be "pro-life" (pro forced birth, anti maternal health) but im fucking scared for her patients if she goes down that route

#nurses can be shitty ignorant people and i hate seeing RNs swinging their degree/license around #pro-life nurses make me MAD MAD because one of the ethical things we are taught is Autonomy. ie the right of the patient to make decisions #even if WE PERSONALLY FEEL its not a good decision for them #its not ethical for me to try and make you take for example hypertension meds even if your BP is so high im afraid youre going to have a #stroke/heart attack #and it wouldnt be ethical for me to say no you HAVE to gestate this pregnancy if thats not what you want #i hate people </3 #like my job is to present you with your options and educate you on what would happen if you chose whatever option. nothing more

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gorechoi-backup · 2 years

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in regards to this post i could finally contact tumblr and they said there’s no way they can restore the account nor the posts i had, which means i’ve lost basically all my works in there so if any of you have reblogged at least one chapter of one of my fanfics i’d appreciate it if you could send me the link so i can try and pull together a masterlist on my new account since i created this one only as backup.

i’m really sorry to bother but i’ve lost basically everything and need to start from scratch so i’d appreciate the help so so much!

the new account is @choinsaw i hope to see you there ♡

#important #gorechoi #I'm trying to sound super calm rn but honestly im completely angry. im pretty sure i wont get back half of the stuff i wrote #so this is nice :)))#i will try to get some things back i promise but please be patient with me #before this happened i was contemplating pausing my writing bc i was struggling with the lack of support #so im really just pushing a bit rn bc i wanna try and see if i can regain some motivation to write again #anyways end of rant (?)#I'll appreciate if you can reblog this to let others know i got a new acc and i didn't intend to just delet my fics out of nowhere. thanks♡

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vurelly · 2 years

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OOOUGH EATS YOUR ART

I love your Afton Y/N au so muuchchf

i really gotta draw more for that huh

#vu asks #im in the process of trying to finish other art stuff i still got sketch requests from the end of december #and a commission that one person in particular has been so damn patient for ohhh my god #plus now membership sketches #maybe i can speedrun all these today i just ate lunch and took my meds so i really feel on top of the world rn

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dandyshucks · 7 months

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driving me absolutely batty that I started working on Theodor first and yet Philby is the one who is like... super clear in my brain and came together so quickly 😭 I dont even have an appearance locked down for Theodor yet AUGH

#im trying to just like... slow down w their development so i can rly let them cook in my brain properly LOL #but i am impatient bc i want to make art and stuff for them fhfjdkl #and i know it's gonna be like... a sudden flood release when i finally have Theo's appearance nailed down #like the creative floodgates will open and art will come pouring out of my brain SBDBKDL #but AUGHHH... waiting to get to that point is so difficult... i must be patient w myself smh smh #i also dont want to post anything until i have them both developed enough but that means Philby is just twiddling his thumbs waiting rn LOL #just hanging out in the OC development void by themself waiting for our beloved Theodor to show up shdjdkl #im not even sure abt names but like. Philby's name cannot be changed bc theres a story there and Theodor's is so perfect... the layers...#also i just noticed I've had bandcamp explore playing and it's a song... called ''C''#and it's. just been middle C. droning. continuously. this song is 11 minutes and 11 seconds long #its been playing... for over 4 mins 😭 i just realized 😭😭#dandy.cmd

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izzy-b-hands · 7 months

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If ur waiting on a reply from me (and i know a couple of folks are rn) thank u for ur patience in waiting. I'm working on typing things up but today is just. idk how to put it but i keep winding up grumpy and my replies i feel are suffering for it. Pls know i do wanna chat and exchange ideas, I'm just trying to make sure the Grumpasaurus Rex side of my brain that's v loud today isn't mucking them up before i send them 🫂🫂❤️❤️

#text post #like it's genuinely nothing just bad takes online some shitty messages in my inbox on here and reddit and not sleeping well at all #attempted a nap i woke up from like tenish minutes ago and it was all a realistic nightmare #in which ct house was somehow connected to nd condo & i kept getting caught on one side or the other at a time #unable to touch or talk to anyone until i was fully on either 'side' for a good while #made the flow of time feel fucked up and i fully expected this to have been a longer nap considering how time felt in there lol #but yeah. I'm trying and im v grateful to y'all waiting for being patient with me. thank u & i promise ill have my shit together soon #(aka might take an edible and just. idek. bake maybe? my brain isn't happy doing anything rn but cookies are always good)#have a potential call with mum later i need to prep for #...worst case scenario i try to nap a bit more and hope i don't wind up stuck in that weird hallway from my dream again #worst bit was the nd cats and my mum and ct cats and Housemate on each side both trying to get me out but couldn't #really don't wanna feel as stuck as i did in this dream but hey!! maybe it's trying to tell me something lmao #not entirely sure what but that's nothing new for me lmao #normally wouldn't post like this for replies but everyone waiting follows me so i figure this reaches everyone easily enough #& hopefully is better/more useful than me going radio silent bc my brain is being a baby abt shit that means nothing lmao

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tkbrokkoli · 8 months

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just had the worst hair cut experience :(

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faaun · 2 years

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the way my heart sank . lol

#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious #but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her #and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree #so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call #and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated #and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad #and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so #confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not #want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should #but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐#which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening...#i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same #instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and #work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad.#like. im Afraid.#to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow #idk what else i can do #i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first.#shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk #i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me #like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w #the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at #me for trying to help . idk #UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me

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kienium · 11 months

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i have such a hard time with tone indicators still because i don't know what the fuck i mean either. how am i supposed to fake it until i make it in these conditions

#kie rambles #brought to you by the two mega autism trucks having sex where my brain should be #rant in tags #also even tho ik what the tone indicators are supposed to mean??? i have no clue how to apply those to a social context #it's like taking a test but the study guide is written entirely in emojis and i dont know what the subject is #“you said the thing you should know how you intended it” well.#when you spend your whole life trying to make your interactions palatable through masking #and suddenly this new tool that's supposed to help you get intentions across appears #i dont know how to use it without unmasking fully and i dont know how to do that yet #TONE INDICATORS ARE GOOD BTW. they help so many ppl and help people feel more free to joke around with each other w/o hurting one another #just saying it's. still hard to change the wiring of “indicate tone for neurotypical people to understand” --#-- to “don't indicate it at all until the end”#basically i still wanna use them bc theyre helpful to lots of ppl but like when i fuck up constantly pls be patient #feels like masking 2 electric boogaloo #masking as a nt person thats masking as a nd person. maskception. let me out of here oh my god #also im in class rn making this post instead of paying attention so if i repeat myself like 8 times im sowwy

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kuromi-hoemie · 1 year

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lol i taped some duct tape faced up into a sheet of glass so i could lay it on the (empty) bottom row of my plant rack so bandit won't try using it as a step to get up to the window and use that as a second step To Reach where the plants are.

i watched her jump right onto it while chasing her toy around and she HATES it 😈 keeping this girl off certain things has been a pain (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠;⁠) trying to both take care of a kitten and my plants so I don't have to pick between one or the other lol.

#this is been a whole thing fr #like the bottom of the curtains at that particular window r taped 2 the wall ‚ the center between the 2 is held together w pins and the #bottom center part she can reach (and presumably has been picking at the tape for when I'm not looking since i kept finding it on the floor)#has been stitched shut like girl!! stay off this window!! this whole area just leave my plants alone 🙄🕵️‍♀️#stitching and the faced up duct tape r what i did rn tho lol and i taped over the stitches too like u r not gonna b in this area ☝️😌#im going to make a floor that is SO annoying to stand on or touch #and even if u try tolerating it trying 2 get the windows open is going to be a huge pain too like r u that patient? 😳

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bunnihearted · 1 year

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🚬🧸🧃🎀

#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance #so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life #and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future #so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D #what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk)#i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it #i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months #then i'll start my other 4 classes in january #i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery)#(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..)#also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt #if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may #if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless #i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university????#i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education #bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it #also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move #i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!!#but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try #i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?

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xannerz · 1 year

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i am begging this new hire to be an effective communicator i am

✨ BEGGING ✨

#he just!!! doesnt follow some basic instructions and!! i'm trying so hard to be patient!#my other teammates have sat in on me training new hires and have told me 'wow you're extremely patient'#and im like yeah thanks thats my job!!#but rn im like !! god is testing me ! he's testing me for sure !!!#like look dude we're all remote can you just communicate updates w me AS INSTRUCTED 💀#if we keep having issues of new reps being flippant/unreliable like this it'll just give the ceo/pres more ammo to reintroduce an office #and nobody wants that lmao #i shouldnt have to chase people it's just 💀 a red flag for me #xangoeswah

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