#im treating it as a demo anyway

[nearwildheaven]

i did a silly little cover of a silly little robyn hitchcock song & messed abt with some effects....... dunno where else to put it so im just gonna stick it here in the meantime :-)

[falling-star-cygnus]

i think we, as a society, moved on far too quickly from the fact that Alhaitham will canonically steal a sip of his friends' drink to see if he likes it or not

to be fair- this is rooted in speculation from his character demo, but it's also incredibly hard to refute unless you jump through a few mental hoops -> i.e.: saying that Alhaitham simply saw the bottle on the table {there wasn't one, and in which case why not just pour himself a cup from that?}

anyway-

this is probably a regular occurrence too considering the blatant LACK of a reaction from Cyno, Kaveh, or Tighnari

*at a mandatory Akademiya event or smth where there's a buffet table* Alhaitham, pointing at something on Cyno's plate: are those any good? Cyno, rotating his plate towards Alhaitham's hand on instinct: they're not bad, but not the best either. *Alhaitham simply hums around his 'stolen' treat*

*celebrating at Lambad's* Kaveh, pushing his drink into Alhaitham's hand: oh good, you're finally here! hold this, I have to go to the bathroom Alhaitham, taking a sip and immediately scrunching his nose: this is awful. Kaveh, scoffing: then don't order it

*Collei's birthday party* *Alhaitham reaches towards Tighnari's plate* Tighnari, straightening up but not moving his plate away: oh- you won't like those ones. try these *He points towards a slight variation of the snack and turns it towards Alhaitham*

im weak for domestic 4ggravte

[hana-no-seiiki]

am supposed to be on hiatus(literally reinstalled tumblr for this rot)

but yandere! robins with a super duper huge bordering on unhealthy fan! cosplayer!reader who can sing and dance

reader interviews them and gets themself in dangerous situations just to get a close look at how their costume works

AND HOW THE HECK THESE PEOPLE MOVE SO EFFORTLESSLY AND GRACEFULLY WITH THAT GODDAMN CAPE ON Like wTF-

so the robins know them quite well and they’ve sort of built an acquaintanceship with you. it’s endearing to have these heroes that you’ve been a fan of for so long to care about you so much…and not question why you keep feeling them up all the time. in reality, they see you as this perfect damsel that could do no wrong and whose cuteness/proneness to danger really activate their “hero neurons” to protect and care for you.

y/n duty is definitely a thing aside from patrols.

anyways reader who attends the same university as them (feels really weird when you treat them so differently or gush about them without their mask but that’s another story) and does a performance with their group on halloween as robin

(you can imagine any song but exo’s monster demo is what im thinking of CAUSE READER SINGING THAT FINAL PART?? IT TOOK ME HOURS TO FUCKEN NAIL IT DOWN IM-)

and their down badness turns declined atrocious real quick.

like y/n duty turned into a prize for which vigilante performed the best or something and they’d literally fight each other over it.

a lot of them resort to just … plain stalking you. not for altruistic or protective reasons anymore just cause they want to see you.

and/or dig up your past performances, videos, any sort of recordings just to get bricked up and be too wet/hard for a mission and unfortunately have to stay back to relieve themselves

some just plain use your admiration towards the robins to get you to do stuff.

…

damian threatens to share your robin smut/general fanfic and other ehrm terrific shit you’ve done while rotting for them to the entire world if you don’t sing while you two do homework.

[ryanstillwrites-if]

hello! long time no update huh. well after what feels like a million years i finally have an update to share. the next part of the demo is up and running, but there's a very real possiblity of broken links, spelling mistakes and things that downright just don't make sense. actually no, that's a guarantee.

a couple things: the update is technically not... complete. ive been struggling to finish part 2 for literal months so when i got to the point where i could publish something i decided to run with it. which means that the grandfather route is not yet complete. so apologies if you've chosen him as your family member; you'll need to choose someone else until i can bring myself to finish it without wanting to bash my head into the wall.

next, i decided to remove jordan as an ro. im not sure what i was thinking when i made them an ro because its not exactly ethical, now is it? a therapist dating someone they're treating, i mean come on. they're still a very important part of the story (obvi) but there's no longer any romantic element there. i hope that's okay with everyone...

anyway, i hope you enjoy reading the udpate! same time next year?

read the demo here.

[sakurabutterflyart]

Floyd X Classical Troll Fem Reader

(As a person who enjoyed classical music or just a fan of violin. I've also been to a choir, which is totally a classical and different to singing pop. I base it a little of my experience.

But disclaimer. I still lack Classical music knowledge.  But I do write fanfictions for fun and wonder what happens when Pop and Classical music comes together.

Im no professional writer, English is not my first language either. This just happen to be one of my intrusive thoughts that needs to be written.)

My name is (Y/N), I've been living in Trollstopia since the beginning.  My family along with my fellow classical trolls just wanted to be open to new cultures, which is why we decided to move here.

Being a Classical Troll means I have to be professional all the time and a perfectionist, cause that's how my parents taught me about classical music.

So I followed the rules.  Even though I love music, sometimes I get sick of it. Like there's something wrong about it.

But then I met him... Floyd

Classical Trolls are so strict. That I was never used to be treated gently by someone that I never knew I needed.  Floyd makes my heart go softer, which honestly kinda scares me sometimes.

When I met him, I just happen to run into him. When he got lost in Trollstopia,  while visiting his brother Branch. He heard my violin playing. I actually heard a catchy pop song that is mixed with country from this song writer named Taylor Swift and surprisingly also a classical rock guitar from a rock Troll named Demo.

That I decided to play a pop song on that day after getting scolded by my conductor,  that I wanted to be left alone. I was a disappointment to my fellow classical trolls despite being the daughter of the Great Classical Troll. I was always told that I was the most difficult one to teach, like I was tone-deaf or something.

Being in a prestigious group is a lot of pressure already. Being there is so suffocating, traumatizing in fact from the way I get startled when I get scolded by everyone.  That I needed to go out and have time to enjoy music on my own. I played my violin with a famous Taylor swift music called Enchanted, also tried singing it after playing it. Trying to turn it into a classical version. I'm already a disappointment anyways, so what's the harm of singing a pop rock country song?

"Woah, you have a beautiful voice there miss." I was startled and almost had a heart attack,  when I turned around I spotted a Pop Troll. He must be from Pop village. "I like your version of that song that I just needed to see who played it."

I felt my face heating from embarrassment. I'm suppose to yell at him for scaring me, but instead I felt a chuckle escape from my throat of his comment. I was flattered, but of course I brushed it off by saying, "Nah I'm just messing around,  I hit the wrong notes."

Then I heard him giggled along and sat right next to me.

"Well to me your voice is beautiful.  Just like what me and my brother said about being in harmony.  We don't have to be perfect to be in harmony, we just have to be as we are."

"Hah! Really?" I scoffed, cause the #1 rule of being a Classical Troll is to make it perfect as possible.

"Really,  why else would me and my brothers manage to hit the family harmony and rescued me from a diamond prison? "

I stared at him wide eyed, a few seconds later I gasped. 

"No..." I whispered in amazement. He giggled at my reaction.

"Yes."

"NOOO..."

"YES."

"YOU'RE FROM BROZONE?! "

"YES!"

💛💛💛

With that we talked and talked, eventually became friends. Surprisingly,  we easily connected like we've known each other for a long time, despite our differences in culture.

At first it was pure respect and amazement. For being in Brozone who achieved the family harmony after a long time in history.

Our meetings became frequent, it's no longer as fellow musician, but as friends. I learned his name was Floyd. Being with Floyd, makes me feel safe. I have great sense of comfort around him.  I enjoyed spending time with him. That I myself surprisingly willing to go to parties on Pop Village just to see him.

Whenever i feel down and pressured from classical music. He knew exactly how to encourage me and keep my confidence up, even helped me hit the right notes by harmonizing with him. And as expected... his VERY gifted!

I've never felt such connection with anyone nor felt understood and comforted of my entire life. He made me laugh... and even cry at the same time from joy, which is very strange...

💛💛💛 A month passed by...

In a blink, it was just another day of our regular practice. But I was shocked that my conductor was more harsh than usual. Not only did he embarrassed me in front of my fellow choir mates,  he say cruel words that I will never become better nor do I belong there, that I'm better off not being in their group.

That I snapped and walk out from that suffocating rehearsal room.

I was really feeling thorn that even Floyd noticed.  That I was crying the whole night, that I'm pretty sure that my puffy eyes is still not gone. All the hardwork and time I gave, to only find out that I was never welcomed there to begin with.

That Floyd decided to drag me out of my pod, after being trapped there for almost a week. It was sunset, so the heat of the summer is gone that its a perfect time to have a picnic near the sea.

He decided to lay me down and relax, in this beautiful scenery . He brought my favorite snacks, the books we enjoyed together,  along with our favorite classical pop song that we've made together. As he continue to comfort me with his words and laughing along with his funny stories about his brothers.

We ended up in silence, enjoying the fresh breeze of wind. I was trapped in my room for a long time, that I didn't realized that there's a good spot to forget what happened.

I turned around to see Floyd facing me, eyes shut. I lay closer to him, running my fingers through his smooth red hair, causing him to wake up.

We ended up staring into each other in silence,  but a comfortable one. Without even thinking, I was caressing his cheeks. Feeling my heart beat wildly. I can feel his hands holding mine from where I held his face. He slid it down to my arms, caressing it too.

At that moment. Both of us were not thinking, but before we even knew it. I can feel the warmth of his lips unto mine. And it felt great. He then pushed me down towards the ground,  he was on top of me. Continue tasting my lips, with his palms pinning my wrist against the floor.

I was having a terrible week,  but never would've thought that it'll also be one of the best one. Where I can finally get to hold him this close and closer than ever before.

"I love you... Y/N." He whispered and continue to trail kisses unto my neck.

💛💛💛

A/N: What? Floyd being the bottom is getting cliche to all Floyd X reader I've read, him being bold is surprisingly good too hehe. I guess John Dory also mistaken his role to be the sensitive one. Almost.

[2frosty4you]

Fem reader accidentally flustering the mercs by something she did or said and not understanding why (merc) is so flushed and stumbling over his words? :3

Flustering the mercs [Drabbles]

Fem Reader flustering the mercs :3

| Masterlist | ask/request box | Words: 1090 |

i had to stop myself from just continuing some of these 😭😭😭

Also using tumblr on mobile 😭😭😭

╔═════════════════╗

Scout:

You grab his arm and pull him back to cover as a bullet remains where his head was.

“Jesus christ scout at least be careful”

“i - “

He’s speechless, your hand still gripped around his wrist. You look angry with him, but the feeling of your touch on his wrist makes him red, you drop his hand.

“You aight there?”

“Yes! yeah i- i could’ve totally avoided that without ya y’know aha”

He would quickly spit out, messing up words as you raise an eyebrow as he stumbles and runs around the corner. Heart beating fast and his face red.

Soldier:

Im sorry but soldier does NOT get flustered, but you make his heart beat widely when you talk with his racoons in a baby voice,

“Awww aint ya cuties, whats your names huh”

“Sergeant Smith, the one with the medal is lieutenant bites

“what cuties they all are”

He says with speed as you nuzzle the raccoon and baby talk it while laughing, he’s staring for a while before you look up to him.

“You okay solly?”

“Affirmative!”

His heart is widely beating as you treat his pets like your own, giving them food while you think he isn’t looking and always happy to see them when he takes them into base. (even if medic hates them)

Pyro:

They laugh and clap as you flick open a lighter to show them the hello kitty lighter you had bought.

“See! its a pink flame, isn’t that cool!?”

“mpHmH!”

“Anyway this is for you anyway, gotta go see medic; dont burn the place down!”

You toss them the lighter, and wave.

Pyro sits there, holding the lighter in their hands as their face is a bright red under their mask. Laughing as their body buzzed and felt her hands move to flicker the lighter

Happy knowing it came from you.

Demoman:

“Yeah, an she carried your drunk ass to bed; what a sight HA”

Scout teased, demoman’s face flushed red as you walk in. Waving.

“Hey you three, what's up?”

“Tellin ol’ demo here how he ended up back in his bed”

“Yeah! an look at the drunkard”

His face was a dark red, a. hot feeling radiating as he grummbled and burried his head in his arms.

“Hm? oh yeah did you drink the water i left you?”

“y-yah”

He mutters, you raise an eyebrow but the other two men laugh to themselves as demo grumbles into his arms.

Heavy:

A bowl of hot soup laid before heavy, you standing with a white apron tied around you with a smile.

“What are you waiting for? taste it”

He takes the spoon, blows on the soup and takes a sip. His eyes widen as he feels the taste of his mothers soup on his tongue.

“Does it taste right? not sure if i got it all correct, russian is hard for me to read”

You smile, he coughs softy. Nodding, face a soft pink as you stand like a sun in the kitchen.

“Da, its like how my mother used to cook”

He stumbles over a few words, yet you look at him with a tiled head and a bowl of your own.

Engineer:

Engi had been tinkering on his sentry all night, large bags under his eyes as you place down a place of cut red apples with a bottle of juice.

“Engi, eat something”

“I- oh thanks darlin”

He would say with a smile, face red as he ate. You standing there with crossed arms.

“Take a break soon, we need you tomorrow”

Your small act of affection causes him to stutter and laugh softly, scratching the back of his neck slowly sipping the juice you gave him. Looking over his blueprints, just waiting there for him to finish and take a break.

Medic:

It was a hectic battle so far, medic was tired healing the scout and not noticing the enemy demoman behind him he dropped his gun and readied for the impact of sword against his neck, when it didn’t come and the sound of a body dropping make him look up.

You turn back to him with blood dripping from your face and body.

“You okay doc? He didn’t hurt ya did he?”

“i- nien- nien he didnt”

He’s red, standing there staring at you as you look feral with the demoman’s blood soaking into your clothes and skin,

“Doc? ya there?”

He stumbles over his words as he holds his medigun close, waving to you as he speeds away to go heal heavy who was yelling for him. Almost tripping over his feet as he couldn't remove the image of you from his mind.

Sniper:

Sniper grunts, holding the wound on his arm. The blood bleeding through his fingers as you come around the corner, head perking as you walk back.

“Snipes?? what happened jesus,”

“nothin nothin”

He bites back a groan of pain as he went to grab the med back, you kneel before him.

“Snipes move your hand, jesus what even happened”

“its foin, its nothIN-“

He takes a sharp breath in, and with a delicate touch you move it, which feels like electricity through his body you take the hand holding the wound and place it down.

His face was growing a thick red, heat radiating from his cheeks as he looks away from you, treating his wound like glass even if both of you were war criminals.

Making quick work of the bullet wound, you wipe your hands on your pants and look at his red face.

“Aight, should be good. I’ll get medic to heal ya if we come through”

“tha, thanks mate”

“Try not to get hit again”

Spy:

It takes a lot to fluster the spy, but with you?

You grabbed the spy's arm, pulling him down as a soldier walked past you two. The two of you cramped against each other behind the crate, him in for lap with his two lanky legs just strewn around you two.

His face is red under his mask, breath quicking as he faces away from you.

You look up, and then push him up.

“Be careful, next time i ain't saving you”

“oui, merci,”

His words slip into french as his feet stumble and you catch him before falling.

“What, are you sick? Is that why your head is out of the game?”

“no, non, its nothing ami, merci for hiding me”

He cloaks and quickly leaves as his face was red and his head was clouded with you. As you stood there, a confused look on your face as you kill the other spy.

╚═════════════════╝

[blank-house]

When the full game comes out (whenever that may be) trust that I'll be tye first buyer /hj. No but seriously I love the demo and I adore every character, usually whenever I get interested in a piece of media I'd analyze the hell out of it and try to decipher (analyze??) the characters but with keyframes I acc prefer to be blind and learn about the cast naturally instead of analyzing every game sentence lmao.

I think that my refrain from analysis is a sign that im extremely invested in the setting and cast of the game. I can't help but want to treat them like their own people rather than game characters to obsess over.

Anyways I love love love the personality system!! It's so fun to me especially since I'm a winter personality born in summer lmao :P

Awww that’s really sweet then anon!

That’s all I want to ask for when it comes to our characters, for you guys to just want to know more about them. 🫶

Thank you for playing! And glad to hear you like the personality system too!

[embersofhope-if]

hi🫶

i have bad news

BUT i also have good news

demo is coming friday its just going to be a lot shorter than i wanted☹️

longer explanation under the cut for those who are curious🫶🫶

firstly, im so sorry for disappearing. i didn't realize how long I've been gone until I saw just now that the last thing I've posted was on October 17th

But i am back now, and that's all that matters (please agree). Demo is coming Friday, November 17th, but like i said before, it's going to be far shorter than i wanted. I had originally planned to post the first two or three chapters as a little treat since this blog hit 1k followers but last night my laptop decided to refuse to accept my password forcing me to hard reset and wipe it and i lost ALL of the work i had on both embers of hope and shadows of the gun☹️(i was in genuine tears im ngl)

So! The demo will only be the prologue, but i assure you i am working to get back to where i was before. I'll stop myself here before i start rambling. Anyways, I love you and have missed you guys. Feel free to send in any ask if you have any questions or thoughts (or just say hi. ive missed talking to you guys)💞💞

I've also maybe written the start of that shadowhunter/vampire game i was talking about a while ago, and i may or may not be making a blog for it rn. if anyone is interested im 100% willing to answer any questions abt it too🤭

[tyrianludaship]

merasmus is literally a wizard that owes money to various different mafias, Soldier tf2 being naked is important to the comics, Abraham Lincoln invented stairs, Amelia Earhart died in a hotdog costume, australia decides their king by fighting kangaroos

how do people see this and go “ah yes, these mercs are abusive bc murderers” no john god forbid women do anything, killing is normal there!! every single merc would treat their partner right

this is just like when people are like “oh demo would be a bad parent or partner because alcoholic” NO HE WOULDNT!! You do not know this man I know this man!!

anyway sorry for ranting in your inbox have a dabloon

medic literally stole someone's entire skeleton and made classic heavy pregnant with baboons. all of australia are all beefy and muscular apparently and this is an important indicator of sniper not being born in it. soldier gives zhanna ear necklaces as a love gesture and no one gives a fuck aside from heavy but that's only because it means zhanna is dating soldier. tf2 is meant to be wacky and absurd despite the killing part, which the comics prove consistently.

ALSO I KNOW DEMOMAN PERSONALLY AND HE IS VERY SWEET AND NICE AND AFFECTIONATE. IF I SEE ANOTHER PERSON SAYING HE'D BE AN ABUSIVE PARENT OR PARTNER BECAUSE OF HIS ALCOHOLISM, IM GONNA SKIN THEM ALIVE-

[mxboxlocks]

yes im vagueing about a moot i love seeing different interpretations of red/blu mercs dawg. ugnngiggug. /gen gen gen

clone teams? diff people just uncannily similar looking? I LOVE IT ALL!! ITS ALL SO GOOD!!!!

if u want to see my personal ramblings pls click clasck

are you still here. ok good.

HUAGHAGHUUAHGGHHBGG!!!!!!!

so as for the canon of the game/comics its clear theres different sets of teams. i promise this is relevant

Team Echelon. Team Citadel. Team Vanguard. and of course, Team Fortress.

on team fortress, there's 9 other unnamed mercenaries that we don't know the identities of. and according to the update/mvm comics (plus the mvm trailers) the 9 mercenaries we DO know are scattered across RED and BLU. they are not all on the same team like they are in the mainline comics or in shorts like expiration date.

well. why is that

sure you could say "eh for things like mvm its more narratively compelling if both BLU and RED team up to fight the robots, since canonically Blutarch and Redmond, their bosses, are dead. wtf would they fight for" and yknow for a moment i would agree with you but let me get autistic for a sec

look at the language cheavy uses here in this panel

"All she had left was you rejects."

that's not just bully talk or anything, this is intentional. even with the way Saxton Hale treats Team Fortress reflects this

Bidwell's Big Plan, page 04

and even here in the main comics:

A Cold Day in Hell, page 03

they're rejects. quite literally. they get bottom of the barrel weapons, uniforms, food, even for Mann Co..

i'm of the personal belief that the 9 unnamed mercenaries and the teufort 9 are constantly being either exchanged in the unnamed cases, or transferred across team RED and BLU appropriately. autobalanced. some mercenaries have been on certain teams longer than others, like BLU Soldier and RED Demoman YEAH THAT'S RIGHT THIS ROLLS RIGHT BACK TO WAR UPDATE BABY FUCK YOU YOU CANT ESCAPE IT

but the reason i say this is because before the events of the animated shorts (excluding meet the team) or the mainline comics, i have a headcanon the teufort 9 were giving the nameless mercs too much trouble for what they were worth, so they just shoved them all together on the same team, hoping they would just kind of fight it out like pathetic rabid dogs.

what ended up happening was these losers formed the strongest found-family bonds in the history of the universe.

demo and soldier in the mainline comics are still clearly very tense with one another after the events of WAR!, even though they're on the same team (or lack thereof rather). WAR! is still very much canon past the update comics. this is my excuse for changing team colors on their ship and calling it the same people constantly

ANYWAYS yeah. tldr: the mercs are autobalanced a lot and i think there's canonical evidence to prove it . this and clone teams are very near and dear to my heart

[firefly--bright]

all my daughters.

jean kirstein x gender neutral!reader (modern au)

summary : the crushing weight of everything and everyone changing is a bit too much. jean wants to bear the burdens with you.

warnings : hurt/comfort, mostly just therapy for my crumbling mental state, amateur symbolisms (?), established relationship, no use of y/n (im trying smth new) not proofread!!!!!

a/n : this is kinda like flaws but worse? idk I just needed to write something to comfort me and I'll be nothing if I don't use my writing to fix me <3 anyway! self projection as always but I love you if you relate to this and I'm always here to listen if you need someone to talk to. I'm also probably gonna take a hiatus after this fic but we'll see (I'm here to talk to regardless of that!) <3 i honestly don't expect this fic to get that much traction but anyway! enjoy!

taglist : @holding-ishu-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody

masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ requests for jean kirstein are open! ✿ enter my taglist ✿

inspired by these songs : all my daughters (demo) by dodie

ajib dastan hai yeh by Lata Mangeshkar

you were used to contradictory sentences. double negatives that were only meant to confuse you, double positives that you thought meant anything but, adorned with a sarcastic smile and a roll of the eyes that left you needing to figure the meaning out yourself.

jean was a walking contradictory sentence. he was a walking double negative, one that you didn't know how to understand. he was blunt but sweet, cold and warm, never being in one spot with his feelings, always on his feet but not running away. somehow he stayed.

all your friends were moving on. every one - sasha was moving out with her boyfriend niccolo, a chef who she had become extremely close to over the past year and who treated her in the highest of regards. your other roomate, Mikasa, was also moving out, but not with her boyfriend, eren, as you had suspected but instead for a chase of starting a new flourishing business of selling handcrafted oxidised jewellery online. that and being closer to eren, she had explained to both you and sasha.

Marco wasnt moving, per say, but he was already applying for his masters in law to broaden his perspective, and there was a prospect of him going abroad for his soon to approach future. he was currently visiting his extended family. Connie, surprisingly, was the first of your friend group to actually get a job at a marketing firm, and even if it was sort of exhausting, people praised Connie's charms and puns that made people buy the products. he was also helping Mikasa with her business, alongside eren and armin.

jean, currently making dinner for the pair of you in your mostly empty apartment, was also interning for an architectural firm. well, he hadn't started yet, but he did get accepted with the interview he gave last month.

and you? even though you were currently looking for new roomates to occupy the now empty spaces in the apartment, you felt lost. sure, you had a plan, and had also applied for a handful of internships, but that didn't mean you knew what you were doing.

you were used to keeping things and people in boxes. it started ever since you were in middle school and had just heard about books like Harry Potter and divergent, books that had a clear distinction of which people belonged where. you'd define people with those distinctions so it was easy to figure them out; it was easier to think of someone in a faction or Hogwarts houses or godly parent instead of actually trying to figure them out with all their complexeties. eventually it graduated into astrological signs that were probably all bullshitted anyway, and into MBTI types. there was always an explanation for something, and if it wasn't given them you'd find it out for yourself as you always had. but you couldn't go by those simple classifications anymore. they were too narrow and too claustrophobic.

but you also hated too-wide expanses that came with simply existing. the expanse of your unknown lifespan, the limitlessness of unlimited time, the enormous amount of things you had yet to learn. it was easy to get lost in nothing. how did your friends and family and all the people around you ever manage to make a clear path for themselves with a multitude of stops and landmarks when you didn't even have the basic gravel and stone and concrete to get started on making a road for yourself? would you be yet another chapter that ended in a fullstop in their thick books that they'd flip away from? the change - the uncertain steps - were never something you looked forward to.

helping mikasa and sasha move out was a challenge, another full stop in their books, helping Connie by teaching him how to properly format professional emails was another landmark that he passed, seeing Marco off at the airport before he caught his flight was another certain step.

the wide tumultous blue of the sea that you were floating in and it's unnerving depth used to be somewhat manageable. you had been swimming with your friends for a long time until your fingertips got all shriveled up, but now it seemed as though they had all swam away from you and towards a shore they were looking forward to, but you werent. the horizon line was all you could see, and you dared not to open your eyes underwater to see how deep the water was.

you were happy for them, ofcourse you were. you loved them with all your heart, and sections of your essential heart were left only for them with their names carved into the ridges of your brain. but the change was too much, too empty, too wide, too limitless, too uncertain.

a knock on the wood of your bedroom door made you turn your swivel chair towards the noise, and jean stood there against the doorframe, leaning on it. "dinner's ready. didn't know which movie to watch, though." he said, and only half of his words are registered by your ears.

you nod, your lips quirking up only slightly. "I'll be there in a bit," you say, watching Jean's brows knit closer together. you loved the way his forehead crinkled in obvious worry and concentration, but you didn't have the tongue to speak out your admirations.

he tilts his head. ever the observant, he asks, "what's wrong?"

his tone is patient. his words demand acknowledgement.

you sigh a little, knowing you can't hide anything from him. you thanked that quality of his, even if it was a little inconvenient at times, because his unrelenting persistence was the reason you felt so loved today, the reason you and jean had gotten closer in the first place.

your shoulders slump, "i dont know how to explain it," you say, because it's true, but also because even if you could explain it, you wouldn't know where to begin. but you begin anyway, even though you know it would end with you trailing off. jean would understand anyway as he always had. "just.... everything's changing... and I, i dont know, i dont really like change, I guess." there's a pause and you refuse to look at his face which you're sure is observing yours carefully as he always does. "it's just...too much." you say, shrugging at the end. "it's too much and I don't know how to deal with this. like everyone's dealing with it better than I am and I don't even know if I've....if I've grown much, if at all. i dont know what I'm supposed to do. i dont know what my role is, like i just, i wish there was an author writing my life so I'd know what to do because I don't know how to...how to do everything myself. i-" you didn't know when the lump had formed in your throat, refusing to be swallowed down anymore after being ignored for months on end. "i dont know anything, jean, and it's scary." you say, and your eyes don't shed tears even if theyre stinging. you wish you could cry just to get it over with.

you were probably overreacting. everyone was doing so great with themselves, and at the end of the day, it wasn't a big deal. so what if everyone would move on with their lives? wasn't that what was supposed to happen? so what if your friends would probably forget you? shouldn't you be glad that you had them in the first place? wasn't it better to have felt alive for the first time than to not have felt it in the first place?

warm and sturdy arms wrapped around your unshaken frame, and you were pulled away from your rolling chair to sit down on your bed. the mattress dipped comfortably under you as it always had and jean smelt like he always did and you took comfort in the predictability. your sheets would smell the same today and tomorrow and the day after, your clothes would be in the same closet, your mirror would be in its same place in the bathroom and jeans arms would always hold you softly.

he held you for a couple minutes as you wallowed in your own sea. your legs were in his lap, leaning your weight on his arms. your eyes were closed, and you felt his warm hands rubbing circles in their place on your thigh and on your back.

you speak again, feeling the need to be understood even though you already were. "i just wish that... that I could freeze time whenever I have a good day." you say, and it's the final nail in your coffin and the final scoop of dirt on your grave. it's all you have to say, it's all jean needs to hear as he holds you a little tighter.

he hums in thought, no doubt thinking of a proper response. sometimes you wish you could take a peek inside his head, just to see, even for a useless moment, what he was thinking about. and more selfishly, if it was about you.

but that didn't matter because who was jean if he didn't speak his mind? his cheek rests on the top of your head and you can feel his warmth, and you wish you could let his warmth spread all over you, you wish that it would ignore the barrier of your skin and go straight to your organs and muscles because your warmth hadn't felt like it had been yours for a very long time and Jean's heat would be much more than welcome. but that was wishful thinking and you feel him kiss the top of your head instead, and you accept it.

"you know," he finally starts, and you can hear his heartbeat. "when we first met I had one of the moments you're talking about. the want to like.... somehow freeze the moment and just relive it forever." he says. you don't move, you don't dare remove your head from his shoulder afraid that if you did, he'd be another thing lost to the depths of your mind.

he continued. "what I'm saying is, i know what you're scared of. that your friends will forget you and move on without you. but... i dont think they will. i dont think anyone can. don't you think just like you have parts of them in you that they have parts of you in them? I've seen it. sasha started talking like you like a month after you guys moved in together. Mikasa likes buying flowers now. Marco texts like you. Connie has so many jokes that only you'd understand. and i-" he says, cutting himself short with a small breathy chuckles that makes your heart dangerously stutter, "i dont think that, god forbid, if we were to ever not be together, i dont think that i would ever be able to forget you. but that's probably because I'm in love with you and that's not changing for atleast this lifetime," another short laugh, "i dont think any of our friends, any of your past friends could ever forget that you existed. i mean, you'd always be there. youd always exist even if it is in the back of their minds.

"and you don't have to know everything. it's not a race. it's just...a nice walk, if anything. you don't have anyone or anything to catch up to. you can take your time, love, and i know it's hard convincing yourself of that, but you can. and if it's any consolation," he says, grabbing your hand that had formed into a loose fist on your knee, encasing your hand in his, "I'm...I'll be here. even if we aren't talking, which I'm pretty sure won't happen, but even if it does, I'm here. i will be." he says, squeezing your fist.

his words breathe comfort into your lungs that rested inside the prison your ribs had become. your chest felt a little lighter, the stubborn knots in your stomach were slowly undoing themselves and maybe his words didn't undo any damage nor did they paint over it but they did help heal.

you breathe in deeply, burrowing yourself even further in his shoulder, and he thankfully gets the message as he holds you tighter, like he's the only twine holding you together. you nod, and he kisses the crook where your shoulders meet your neck.

"thank you," you whisper, something that could get lost in his clothes but he catches it and shakes his head. you know what he's going to say before he even says it and you smile a little.

maybe jean was a contradiction to himself, a double negative, a not not persistence. and maybe you did feel lost, maybe time had swam away from the desperate deathgrip you had on it. but jean was there. he wasn't a fullstop or a chapter, he was more of a "okay, and," sentence, something that continued over with a comma, and he wasn't a guide that held your hand towards the shore, but he was more of an insistent presence that helped you not drown by holding your hand. he wasn't the shore itself, but he did provide the comfort of finding footing against the depths.

not a race, not a stand, just a walk. a walk with your hand in Jean's, a walk with uncertain but hopeful steps.

not a book, not a chapter, just scribbles of incoherent but excited writing in a diary.

[aroaceamyrosearchive]

Idol AU?! Who all is involved?

okay so me and @max-iwtaco have been brainrotting about it yesterday but we're trying to include as many characters as we can think of XD

THIS ASK HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS NOW I THINK. ANYWAY

i wanted amy to be the main character bc like. look at her...

but okay so let me summarize what we talked about

-sonic and shadow both debuted when they were very young under competing labels. sonic does a lot of solo singing and rapping stuff, plays guitar, and dances (he specialized in breakdancing which is poggers), meanwhile shadow sings (he can do screamo if he wants. as a treat) and dances (he specializes more in interpretive type dance). theyve always been rivals, releasing albums around the same time and fighting for all the awards and stuff. and dont get me started on idol sports champio ships-

-so amy's dream has been to be an idol, and she took a lot of inspiration from sonic!! so she uses her tarot cards like in canon and it tells her to audition for the same label as sonic is under (tho im debating what to call it) and she does and makes it in!!!

-eggman runs a company. the one that team dark is under. team dark is a band with shadow on vocals and bass, rouge on vocals and electric guitar, and omega on drums. lets just say they have to buy new drums every performance.

-sonic also has a band with knuckles and tails, where he plays guitar, tails is on synthesizer, and knuckles is on drums.

-amy becomes a soloist but cream comes to all of her shows. she has special permission backstage to see her and be her emotional support. also they sometimes let cream on stage to sing a little song and the audience loves it. cream also has a kazoo

-knuckles's dad used to be the head of their company but knuckles inherited it. or something

-tails is a HUGE music theory nerd. he loves math rock

-amy dabbles in music composition (bc im projecting)

-tails and sonic knew each other since they were little and sonic would play guitar for him and tails started learning bc of him and then he got REALLY into music theory and became a big nerd. sonic cant actually read sheet music lmao

-sonic joined the company under the condition that tails joins with him and tails was so cute that they couldnt say no

-since knuckles takes care of the whole company now he doesn't actually perform concerts that often but when he does the audience goes WILD. you never know when youre gonna see knuckles. it's a gamble every time. on the times knuckles cant come play drums big will come to play instead

-big doesnt ever actually show upto practice bc hes too busy fishing. he just shows up and plays the concert and then he's gone again. froggy plays the cymbal

-froggy gets put on the concert posters and big doesnt bc big just shows up. froggy is the star of the show

-sonic raps while knuckles beatboxes. tails tries to rap and its adorable

-cream is the first to listen to amy's demos and comes to support her at the recording studio

-this quote from Max: "ALLSO she would give advice like "everything sounded VERY COOL but it would be even cooler if you added like DUMM DU DUMMM YDHVVJ TXFHVJJV at the end""

-blaze does classical music and plays the violin. silver does techno style stuff. they collab a lot and sound amazing together

-silver is super into composing and posts his stuff on bandcamp. he's not under any labels or anything

anyway. i love them

[dualityvn]

me theory posting again? more likely than you might think

Demo Spoilers below

now that my ban on talking about this has finally been lifted since its now out in the open, lets talk about some things. so, the boys exist as two entities in one body, they both have their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations, but when those align, they can co-exist in the body at the same time. this can be painful (see that one 'bad' end) because Keith's body isnt built to hold more than one person at a time. speaking of, it is technically Keith's body, it was the one made by his parents that he would have inhabited alone without Tenebris' being there, and Tenebris has a different form that is entirely his own. they are not aware of the outside unless they are the person actively in control, but they can share thoughts and dialogue with each other when only one is in control.

now that we have that all established, which does answer like, all of my initial questions, we're gonna get off on a tangent. now, this hasnt really come up before, but one of my favorite things to theorize about is morality issues, specifically when it comes to controlling the narrative a person sees. and i see a Very Delicious moral dilemma with Keith and Tenebris and how Keith is like, the only person Tenebris regularly interacts with.

let me explain. like it or not, we are all a product of the things we interact with on a daily basis and the experiences we gain from those experiences. whether its the lessons we learned from our parents as children, or the interaction we have with our friends on a daily basis, the way other people interact with us is fused with who we are and how we react, even if just on a subconscious level. now lets apply this to the boys. Keiths parents hated Tenebris, and treated Keith coldly as a result. This would be hard on anybody, but especially young children who arent able to really understand the complexities of the situation they were in. this would also continue to be a problem, due to the nature of their inseparability making it hard for either of them to make friends, Keith having difficulties because of Tenebris' existence in his life and Tenebris having difficulties because he's not human, and also presumably because he's not around all that much. this makes socializing hard to impossible for both of them, leading to the state we see Tenebris in in the Demo.

Presumably, Keith is the one who has taught Tenebris everything he knows about humans/the human world/ human customs, but theres still a lot of holes in his knowledge as we can see demonstrated by Tenebris thinking it is alright and normal to just,, show up in our house. There are things that Keith has forgotten to mention because he thinks of them as pure common sense, common sense that Tenebris doesn't have because he never had a social support network to allow him to develop common sense. Keith can't be expected to have explained everything to Tenebris perfectly, especially when Keiths own understanding of the world might be a little skewed.

Lets not forget that they are Both Yanderes, Keith's twisted idea of love may stem from his abandonment issues, but its still there. and considering that Keith is the one who teaches Tenebris everything, its no small wonder that their combined "love" for the MC was enough to put them in sync enough to co-exist completely.

basically what im getting at here is that Keith is the epitome of an unreliable narrator and having an unreliable narrator as your only consistent source of information about the world leads to a very fucked up idea about the world. im not saying that Keith would lie to Tenebris on purpose, i dont even know if he could since they read each others thoughts, but if the lie isnt on purpose then thats a whole different game.

anyway, yeah, Thoughts. once again, congratulations on the demo release!!

I've missed your huge theory asks, Cacti.

But the funny thing is, Tenebris wasn't born at the same time as Keith. Yeah, he was also a "kid" when he entered his body, but he also got a small amount of knowledge from his own species. He started out with a few prejudices, if you can call them that.

In truth, the two of them being together kinda resulted in Tenebris getting better and Keith getting worse :') Since Keith did his best to teach Tenebris compassion and empathy, things that he did not have. But the struggles and trauma he suffered along the way tore at Keith's mind.

As for the yandere tendencies. Well I don't wanna spoil anything for you guys.

[twogriffons]

first night of training tonight, and i think i'm quite unhappy with how it went. also apparently the first night was actually last week but i had misread the calendar.

we're doing obedience level 4 this term as well as our normal social class, and the structure is just not good or how we prefer. the trainer was a temp one because the real one was busy this week and i really did not like her teaching style. also she's' got two very big dogs so her style just isn't suited to us.

the main downside was just how much sitting and listening there was. waiting around doing nothing is so fucking boring and demotivating for erie and me (and everyone else im sure). we did countless laps of heeling, but it was Just Heeling, no stopping or sitting or other movements, or even speed changes. we also did sit stays and down stays which erie is normally good at but she did not want to do them tonight, maybe because of all the new dogs or because she had already been stationary for so long waiting for each exercise to start.

we also did quick downs, which erie is very good at and one trainer observed us and said we were doing really well. then the temp trainer came up and gave erie treats and told me that my voice wasn't stern enough, even though erie listens very well to me. then the thing that really threw me out of whack was erie stood on something and started limping so i knelt down to check her out, and this trainer was like don't do that. like wtf???? i was like "no. i need to make sure she's ok." and she pretty much rolled her eyes.

the last thing was pivots, but the temp trainer didn't say pivot she said perch work and i was like oh we're really good at perch work, not knowing that she was expecting me to demo pivots because she never said that!!!!!

anyway, we're missing the next two weeks of this class, and then we'll go back for a class and see if we like the real trainer, if not we're dropping that class

the positive was we made friends with an akita inu who is so beautiful, also i got to meet my friends staffy puppy

[artist-assassin]

ok i need to know more about ellaria STAT. and your thoughts on rosy + the rosymance !!

RRRRR OK OK but ive only played the public demo so far i havent paid for the patreon/closed demo yet, so i have very little information about the Rosymance in general. info dump and stats below

Ellaria is the humorous / cheerful kinda Button, about 5'5", and she calls her brother Nick-Nack in the game but I imagine she will call him any random number of names off the top of her head (based off of when I played Fallout 4 and I would often call Nick any random nickname like Nicki Minaj, Nickle Pickle, Nickolodeon, Nickaroni and Cheese, etc lol). She has some insecurities because she compares herself to her brother a lot, but she tries to tough it out and beat up her bad thoughts bc she's an unstoppable optimist!!! Stubborn to a fault she refuses to back down once she sets her mind to something. Is a very nice person but gets very socially awkward in large groups, and sometimes lashes out when she gets frustrated by how fragile people treat her (the first thing that made her like Instructor Kim was that he didnt beat around the bush abt her zero but didnt treat her like a kid either!! shes like damn finally some respect around here)

Loves Nick so much (i got like a 160% relationship with him in the open demo lol) looks up to him like her personal hero + mentor. Loves her dad even though it's a little bit strained, has not seen or spoken to her mother in 4 or 5 years after The Incident(tm). but she misses her mom a lot she, she's half scared of her mom hurting her and half scared she will hurt her mom.

I chose the pre-prepared name Ella when I first started playing bc I didn't know what the game was about so I wasn't prepared to like.. make an OC for it until I decided I liked it enough lol. But I compromised by just naming her Ellaria and Ella is her nickname. Here are her stats by whatever chapter is the last one in the open demo (8 i think?)

I LOVE AMBROSE KIM... i played as bisexual in my first go as Ella so i had no idea the genders for some charas changed until I checked the Ambrose Kim tag on tumblr lol. but im way more into rosy as a man than as a woman... Mr Kim u can instruct me any day,..

Like I said tho I don't know a lot about the Rosy romance because I only played the open demo, and I know the author says his romance takes the longest to flower because of the whole teacher/student aspect so he's actively trying to NOT fall for button.. well too bad bitch I'm gonna be so respectable and hot he's gonna have no choice.

anyway im gonna get the patreon this week (friday probably) so i can update u on how i feel soon jhgjhlks i also love all of the characters ngl. i would romance all of them in separate playthroughs.

and u didnt ask but ill mention Kali also, my 2nd Wiseman. shes NUTS. i made her to be the exact opposite of my first humorous, cheerful, ready-to-take-on-the-world girl Ella - so Kali is grim and not nice at all and technically still ready to take on the world but more in a "the whole world is my enemy" kind of way instead of the "i wont let anything stop me" ella way. She's VERY resentful about her zero and is one bad look from a ment away from strangling someone

sorry for the long ramble jhagdwj youre the first person who is talking to me about this game that has become my newest obsession (and u were the one who got me into it so UR responsible for this mess) and im happy to share it w someone :3c

pls feel free to tag me in any mind blind stuff u post, whether fanart or oc art or just rambles n stuff i dont care ill love it all. thank u

[atrial-ofhorror-if]

hi sorry to bug you! but i had a question, i played this demo a hot minute ago (maybe a year im not sure?) and i fell in love with Tama and then i lost the link hah, anyway i was just wondering if Tama is actually an RO??? because sometimes it does feel like it but sometimes if doesnt, im replaying the demo so i might've missed something or whatever but i just wanted to ask

Hi nonnie, welcome back 👐🏿👐🏿~~ please don't worry about bothering me, I promise you aren't 🤎🤎

This is a question I've been trying to dodge and duck for a HOT minute. But essentially this is spoiler territory. I will say that being able to flirt/being in love with Tama is VERY intentional as well as how he treats you. (Don't know if that actually helps 😅😅)

I keep teasing that for the next update, everyone whose questioned whether or not Tama is a RO will have that question answered in a sort of explosive way (God i hope its explosive and not anti-climatic). So stay tuned and stick around 🤎🤎 it's gonna be a bumpy ride 😈😈😈🔥🔥🔥