#im too sleep deprived to word rn okay

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

Log 236

FTL: ...No updates on either of the experiments. I haven't checked. I've been... thinking.

FTL: It's hard to say what I've been thinking about. Everything, I suppose. Echoes of a Paradox... Well, their rant directed at me has thrown everything off-kilter.

FTL: I don't- They're right. They're right. They must be. It all makes sense and yet- It doesn't. Well, it does. But-

FTL: Was I really that blind? Was I really that-

FTL: I can't think. I can't think about anything at all, it's all just going in circles, I need to figure this out, I'm wasting time.

FTL: Why am I wasting time? Why do I rush so much to get back to work, to keep- Because it's my purpose, it's what I do, it's why I exist. Therefore I must do my work.

FTL: I- I'd still be doing my job even if I didn't like it. Right? I mean, surely it's not just my- I have reasoning. I exist because of my purpose, therefore I must fulfill it, therefore I do so. That fact that I like my work doesn't matter all that much. Its doesn't.

FTL: I don't see any flaws in that logic, so how did I end up here? How did I end up hurting my family so much and not seeing it?

FTL: I need to get my thoughts in order. Pause. Don't think.

FTL: Alright, what did Echoes of a Paradox say?

FTL: They said that my mindset, specifically the careless comments, put pressure upon them and the other members of our Local Group to follow that mindset as well, despite the fact that that was not my intention.

FTL: Is this a possibly true thing?

FTL: Yes. Echoes of a Paradox has never lied to me before, they have no reason to do so, no outright falsities were clear within their words.

FTL: Was this intentional on my part?

FTL: No. I'd never willingly hurt any of them. My Local Group is my family, they're the people I'd never hurt. They're only joined by approximately two or three external others. I never did pause to see what the effects of my words were, perhaps because it was inconceivable to me that they could be harmful.

FTL: What else did Echoes of a Paradox say?

FTL: That my mindset of prioritising my purpose above all is unhealthy and pitiful and that I'm only harming myself by not breaking out of it.

FTL: Is this statement unique?

FTL: No. Echoes of a Paradox is not the first to share a similar sentiment and share it with me. The others being primarily LIFEGIVER and somewhat Upsilon.

FTL: Due to this not being an uncommon sentiment, is it a logical one?

FTL: No. No, it is not. Iterators are built to accomplish one or more tasks, disregarding that purpose even a bit renders the Iterator useless.

FTL: ...Do I apply that statement to anyone other than myself?

FTL: No. That belief is one that I hold only myself up to - others, whoever they are, can do whatever they wish to.

FTL: Is it logical to apply the statement to only myself?

FTL: No. I am not the only Iterator, that statement generalises all Iterators, which includes both myself and every other Iterator.

FTL: Why do I apply that belief to only myself?

FTL: ...I do not know. Perhaps it's a sense of only being able to control my own actions, of the fact that I'm the only one who appears to see that fact. If it even is a fact.

FTL: Why does everyone appear to be taking this mindset to be a negative one?

FTL: I do not know. It makes sense, there is no reason to disregard it the way that everyone does. It is a fact, denying it is rather pointless. We're - I'm - machines. Artificial Intelligences. Designed to fulfill tasks at the behest of our creators.

FTL: Why does anything else matter?

FTL: It doesn't make sense. That is the definition of my existence, why should I strive for anything outside of it even if my creators are long-gone? Why do irrelevant things, like relationships, emotions, personalities, anything matter? Why put so much stake on it?

FTL: Echoes of a Paradox says they pity me for thinking this way. I don't know why. I'm, of course, remorseful about the unintentional harm I've caused them, I don't wish to ever hurt them.

FTL: But why? Why, why, why?

FTL: Why do I care?

FTL: Why does it matter?

FTL: The rules of existence are laid out so clear, I follow them, yet why is that-

FTL: I don't understand. I simply don't understand.

FTL: I've had logical explanations laid out before me by LIFEGIVER. They make sense. But they also don't. It's unnecessary. I can accomplish my task well enough without emotions, or anything of the like.

FTL: I exist only because my creators needed someone to fulfill the purpose I was given. That is all I am, and that is all I ever will be. There's no reason to concern myself with anything else.

FTL: Why bother with, or care about anything outside of that? It's unnecessary.

FTL: So why do I do it?

FTL: I do not know. I simply do not know.

FTL: I have nothing to say. I am unable to figure this out on my own, nor do I care to inquire about it.

FTL: All I can truly say is that I regret what I incidentally did to the members of my Local Group, and as much as I wish to properly take Echoes of a Paradox's advice, LIFEGIVER's advice, anyone's advice, I simply cannot.

FTL: Perhaps it's a matter of viewpoints. Perhaps their external viewpoint of myself allows them to realise things I do not. Perhaps I've just been thinking this way for too long.

FTL: It just doesn't make sense.

FTL: As much as I wish I could follow the suggestions given, I can't. Not out of stubbornness, but due to the lack of sensibility.

FTL: I've been fine thus far, have I not? Despite my lack of care about my own safety - and I maintain: for good reason - I am alive now. I am as functional as the day I was given consciousness. Nothing matter beyond that, no?

FTL: I suppose the only thing I really can do is perhaps take LIVEGIVER's advice about how emotions are useful and not burdens. I am quite hesitant about that though, because I do truly doubt it. They're blinding. Irrelevant.

FTL: ...At this point, I am completely unsure what to do. Simply going back to my work seems- ...Feels incorrect. I can't cut down on the time that I spend working - what else would I do? Besides, that's only wasting time.

FTL: It's all I have to do.

FTL: Besides, I cannot simply abandon my experiments, bad things could very easily happen with a half-finished experiment. Such as the one I currently have in progress.

FTL: So, while letting it rot away would be very easy, that would be very counterintuitive. I'd rather not do that.

FTL: In the end, as always, all I can do is go back to my work. As always. Even after something that seems so world-shattering. I've done my contemplation, I've arrived at the same conclusion as I always do - other than the realisation and acknowledgement of the unintentional effects of my actions. Nothing can and will change, really. Beyond perhaps talking with my Local Group more often.

FTL: It's all I can do.

FTL: Back to work.

[dazais-crab-addiction]

Happy Valentine’s Day! He brought you a bear that will detonate in 5..4..3..2..

Gdlajdkahd, breadsoup you are amazing. Thank you. Being blown up by a Valentines bear has been a 10/10 experience :D

[hecksupremechips]

giving u a lil friend smooch and permission to talk about whatever crosses your mind MWAH

Whale ain’t that sweet 🥺

Time to talk very long in an incoherent way cuz im out of meds and sleep deprived and having issues rn so its. Not gonna be. Words gonna go silly

I’m never not thinking about shinji this is known this is truth I think shinji and ryuki have this shared problem of being my favorite characters ever but the game theyre in sucks and is Bad so bad lol but shhhh I don’t wanna talk about that part rn I’ll get really bitchy. I’m very insecure that when I write the shinji and akihiko relationship during the 2 years separation that I’m making aki look like a fucking asshole on accident liek I’m worried my biases are skewing things cuz like okay. Main conflict is aki wants shinji to come back to sees and feels like he’s blaming himself too much for the incident with kens mom to the point of not doing ANYTHING like just wallowing in self pity. And shinji doesn’t wanna come back cuz guilt + trauma has ruined everything about sees and he doesn’t have a clue how to control his persona so he doesn’t wanna risk another casualty and he’s sick of being asked to come back to that shit and starts destroying himself yayyy. And its a very real conflict like it hurts cuz neither of them are WRONG but they’re horrible at communicating and they have so much bullshit to carry that they should t have to carry on their own but they don’t have anyone to rely on, especially not shinji. But sometimes I think like in both the canon and in fics akis perspective is shown waaay more and he’s made out to be like. Correct? Like I’m supposed to think shinji is being unreasonable or something or that he’s an asshole and it’s like. No??? I think he’s actually very reasonable like he really shouldn’t have to come back to sees it’s not the end of the world like yes, he shouldn’t be isolating himself it’s not good for him but that’s not like. A moral failing he’s literally just traumatized and suicidal and like. Of course he’s isolating! Of course he’s being secretive and hurting himself and feels at fault like he isn’t a regular persona user his persona is literally actively dangerous which would obviously translate to him as “im dangerous” and hes also literally been told all his life he’s a failure he’s literally the loner with “behavior issues” and no family no money treated as a burden by all the adults and being in sees was his one chance to be a part of something where he finally wasn’t a failure and then. He failed at that too. And he loves his friends but like, their lives aren’t the same. Mitsuru has always been rich and beautiful and smart and akihiko came from the same place but he got adopted by a nice rich family and is a star athlete and smart and well behaved and then theres shinji the drop out freak and I think that’s also what leads him to connect with strega and get the suppressants is just like. The feeling of being misunderstood by the people who SHOULD understand but they just like. Literally cannot because of their different roles in society. It’s painful! It isn’t something he wants to address but it’s undeniably there! And it’s painful for aki just like. The realization that he alone cannot move shinji he alone cannot make him happy again and theres parts of him he’ll literally never understand it’s horrible cuz they’ve always understood each other and been able to pick each other up but the world is getting too complicated and they’re both so damaged and can’t do it alone anymore and punching shadows just. Won’t fix it. They need so much love and support and therapy and cookies many cookies and shinji lives in my pocket

Okay now that I’ve gotten the bulk of that ramble out of the way let’s get cute okay. I really wanna write halloween fics rn even though it’s July like it’s actually a need and of course it’s about my favorite tsundere family trio so basically basically basically October is a horrible month for them but they and the rest of sees decide to get really into Halloween just to have something good to look forward to and I like to imagine shinji in an attempt to find a will to live gets like REALLY into sewing like hes always been able to sew just like basic stuff like he always mended clothes and made miki a stuffed animal out of old socks (it was really ugly she loved it) and he could stitch up wounds but he never really got too skilled at it. And then one day he notices koromarus costume is a little wonky and this spirals into I MUST MAKE A NEW COSTUME FOR KORO and before he knows what’s happening koro is dressed like a clown fish and a month has passed and he hasn’t tried to hurt himself once so FUCK this is now something he’s become deeply invested in. So he decides he’s gonna make Halloween costumes for Ken and (sigh) himself cuz yeah. There’s obviously gonna be a halloween party costumes are required. Ken I think would like trick or treating but also he’s like IM NOT A BABY I DONT DO THAT and I think aki and shinji would respect that but also they kinda really wanna take him trick or treating cuz a) it’s fun and they need fun memories and Ken needs to have childhood fun before he’s too old b) they didn’t really get to have much halloween fun as kids and c) candy free candy. Still undecided if they’ll go or not BUT they will at least have the party to go to and they’re all like oh noooooo (secretly very excited). So back to sewing shinji tries to engage with kens interests and with great great effort he promises Ken that they’ll dress up as his favorite characters and Ken sooo wants to act cool but he’s over the moon and the idea of shinji dressing up with him is just. Sobs I’m actually gonna cry JUST THINKING ABOUT IT STOP. So shinji gets some shitty ass discount fabrics and is gonna hand sew them but he’s starting kinda late and his hands are a lot weaker now so he’s forced to use 🙊 the sewing machine. And he is very bad. With the sewing machine but he cannot destroy it with his ax because it was a gift and he doesn’t have time to struggle with this and he wants to call fuuka for assistance but he’s a little shit who hates asking for help and also it’d ruin the surprise if she knew his costume plans obviously. So basically enter aki who walks in on this and he’s like hey did you know you can read the instruction manual for help and shinji is like FUCK YOU OF COURSE I KNOW THIS and aki is like then hwhyyy are you nOT DOING IT and so they have to take a night to figure it out (date night goals) and it’s literally so difficult cuz the instructions are total gibberish to shinji but at least he knows how sewing works while aki is the opposite he can read the manual but doesn’t know shit about threads or fabric so they have to work together it’s atrocious it’s like diffusing a bomb and then other conflicts come up aki is like. Am I getting a costume too and shinji is like lol no and aki is like but I wanna be part of this joint costume thing it sounds cute and shinji is like ….did….did you think you weren’t gonna be part of this???? And aki is like YOU NEVER DISCUSSED IT WITH ME???? So poor aki just thought he was excluded from the big costume moment cuz shinji forgot to explicitly tell him that it was a thing they’d both do cuz he just thought it was obvious and this changes EVERYTHING SHINJI so they discuss their costumes and shinji is like okay cool but I’m still not making your costume for you that’s something you gotta figure out for yourself lol and then they get the machine working and shinji makes a third costume and it’s sweet but also he does get scolded for overworking himself but it’s fiiiiine it’s literally fiiiine and Ken is happy even though the costumes are really wonky cuz he thinks he looks JUST LIKE his

Blorbo and also he honestly didn’t think shinji and aki would actually go through with dressing up with him cuz he’s just so used to empty promises and not getting good things BUT THEY FOLLOWED THROUGH and they look really dorky and stupid but they match with him and they did it for him and they look like a family and oh god im crying again hold on. And they get a lot of candy obviously and side note akihiko would be that bitch who gives raisins to everyone because it’s the only candy he likes and he genuinely thinks kids would want it because ITS LITERALLY NATURES CANDY and their apartment gets egged

[dearviper]

OH MY GOD, HELLO, I was gonna go to sleep early but I read the first chapter of Certain Dark Things and by the time I had finished it I couldn't stop, so I read all of it and I am so sorry for rambling but looking at the date of publication for chapter 21 has left me OVERJOYED, I am SO HAPPY that you are still writing for eddie (cos most of tumblr seems to be fawning over eddie munson now lmao), THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR WRITING SO WELL AND SO BEAUTIFULLY AND I HOPE YOU NEVER STOP WRITING. I love the way you have recurring mentions to the reader being treated like a dog (like of course being called a bitch and a stupid dog, but the collar??? degradingly being told to BARK???? you are making me LOSE MY MIND this work of art is like music 2 me because it is making me LoSE CONTROL), and the way you have intertwined the canon plot with your story is brilliant and extraordinarily well done and I cannot believe I get to keep up with your writing in real time, i adore your work and i LOVE the bible references and i am dying to see what you're planning next. are you okay with spam liking/rbing? i would love to rb every chapter but wanna check with you first. thank you you are so cool and one of my favorite writers now, i am so sorry and sad i didn't find you sooner. im really sorry if this is illegible (im a bit sleep deprived (but couldn't be happier!!! u are ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT) and a lil lightheaded) but I hope you know that i appreciate you and the talent and work you put into your writing, i love your formatting and pacing and the stylistic choices you make (THE IPECAC REVEAL?????? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) and i love the way you write every character from eddie to the reader to the side characters like tyler (im so sorry if i got that name wrong i couldnt help inhaling your fic it is just TOO good) and marisol and i think the texting gifs are SO COOL and i am amazed at your skill not only with writing but with editing stuff like that and i love how you surprise me with new dark stuff in almost every chapter (because before this i thought i knew every dark!fic /yandere/whatever plot, tropes, and characterization there was, but you have surprised me over and over again, it is so delightful and fantastic and you write so well and i know it's a little strange to be so happy about a fic with dark content bur your writing is just so good that i cant help it. i love how realistically you write and omg just ... . Everything. thank you. <3 i hope this wasnt too weird or overstepping or too out of the blue, i just felt overwhelmed with the happiness ur writing gave me and wanted to thank you. Thank You!!!! <333 i hope you have a wonderful year and i (selfishly) hope you never stop writing!!!!

Baby you better marry me rn I swear to god 😩 I genuinely teared up while reading this. I can't even put into words how sweet and flattering this message is.

Eddie Munson is also my baby, but Eddie Nashton is my lil meow meow 🥺

I'm so glad you appreciated all of the dog references! I wanted to make it very clear that he views women (even the one he "loves") as subhuman. I'm also happy you appreciated the bible references because as someone who was raised Catholic I LIVE for that shit!!

I am absolutely more than okay with spam likes/reblogs! Especially the latter since that gives me more exposure to other readers.

It makes me SO happy that you loved the ipecac reveal. That was one of those parts where I was typing and was like "oh this would have GAGGED me if I was reading this fic" (not to toot my own horn).

Thank you for mentioning the texting gifs because those things took like 1-2 hours to make. Definitely a labor of love, but labor still!

This is not weird/overstepping/too out of the blew, this is genuinely the best ask I've ever received and I will always remember it. Thank you so so SO much for your kind words, and I really hope you still around for my other fics! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[relaxxattack]

(this is like 1.3k words btw probably should have mentioned that)(I haven't reread this in like two weeks so gl)

Sometimes it's wise to not open your mouth. That was the first thing Ran had learned while traveling to the other world.

A few half-seconds after that, he learned that humans were a danger, and violent. Seemingly flinging their sloppily made weapons at any being they didn’t immediately recognize. He had to learn a lot of things in those few moments he had spent on that green filled-plain. He can still relay them in his mind, every now and then he finds an odd obligation to.

“Do you think I make a good general?” Jackie asked his otherworldly friend, the small man’s eyes tracing horizon in front of them. The calm lavender of the setting sun being clouded out of view by blooming rose-bushes.

Rule 1 is a lesson Ran finds himself relaying quite a bit.

Reassurances began itching themselves in the back of his throat, the small compliments of leadership and respect laying uncomfortably on Ran’s teeth and bitterly against his tongue.

An empty and distant “How so?” was what left his mouth in their place.

“It’s just,” Jackie's steps slowed for a moment. “I’m not a warrior, or- or even a soldier really. I just miss,” the general paused, stopping himself “God, I shouldn't have won that duel-”

“What do you miss?” Ran interrupted

Jackie hitched his breath and bit the inside of his lip, a flicker of pain sparking in his eyes “it's complicated.”

Human emotions were, with lack of a better word, odd. A single twitch of the eye or the wrinkle of the nose could have hundreds of roads leading to it, each becoming less and less paved as it got closer to its destination.

What further complicated this was that different expressions meant different things for different people, something that was entirely alien to the enderman, and something that took a lot of readjusting to become common to.

It was excruciatingly difficult with Jackie however. Often there were universal mannerisms that showed emotion amongst everyone. Small certainties that made Ran’s job just a little bit easier.

All of these practices had been thrown out the window at the sight of the general. Ran had been required to evolve a keen eye for pointing out when his friend became distressed. Perhaps it was the tenseness of his jaw, or the way he forced his shoulders down from hiding away his neck.

They were small things, for often a hollow grin left a stain on the blonde man’s face.

Something ached in the back of Ran’s skull “do you just not want to tell me?”

Jackie allowed his head to sag.

“I don't want to tell anyone really,” the young man explained with a nervous laugh, view craning downwards towards the hoard of daffodils that had begun to blossom over the garden-path.

They were beautiful things, blooming in honey and sugar bells, their undersides being highlighted in a golden orange as the light split through the petals.

There was something mesmerizing about them, the stems pinching through the cracks in the pavement and the soft, enclosed buds flopping over the smaller strands of green that kept them connected to the rest of the plant.

The blond boy held a lonesome nostalgia for when he would pick them from the line of their roots, growing through the gravel path in his old back garden. How he and his sister would split the flimsy stems in half and taste their sour insides, the clear, sugary liquid stickying the tips of their fingers and flecks of green getting inside their fingernails.

“What are you looking at?” Ran questioned, peering over the short general who had seemed to stop in place.

“They really are beautiful,” the young man answered.

“The daffodils?”

“Yes.”

“You do realize most gardeners consider them weeds?”

Jackie clenched his jaw and hit his friend on the arm a bit too roughly to seem playful “oh please, and you’re not a gardener now are you?” A forced, breathy chuckle came out of his mouth.

They were the small things.

That was yet another thing Ran had to figure out. But he’d get it eventually. He always does.

The smaller of the two quietly stormed away from his friend, kicking up granite and limestone off the ground as his feet trudged against the gravel, a small cloud of grey building up behind his heels.

The blond boy’s silhouette was outlined by a fractured golden rim as the sunlight filtered in through the gaps in between the rose-bush’s leaves, his shoulders seeming to quiver as they were strained down by his own mandatory will.

Ran paused, gazing at the lovely picture in front of him, the gorgeous oranges and reds lighting up the garden's foliage creating a pinkish purple reflection off the flora.

Something weighed down in the back of his chest. He wanted to see Jackie’s smile be genuine, at least for the rest of the night.

“They do look nice,” the tall one said, catching up to the small sunflower that had moved so quickly past him.

Jackie’s eyes softened and Ran felt something flutter behind his ears.

“You really think so?” He asked, looking upwards towards his friend.

“Definitely,” Ran answered.

The boy bit the inside of his lip, the corners of his mouth craning upwards into a grin “what do you like about them?”

Ran thought for a moment “,I enjoy how they grow in groups. No matter where they are, unless the rest were picked off obviously, you’ll never see one alone.”

“Do you have a favorite flower?” Jackie perched up on his tiptoes and poked his nose close to the enderman’s face.

“Um,” the creature said, flinching back slightly “I don’t, really, know any. Do you want to tell me some?”

“Definitely.”

“Well, continue then.”

Jackie lingered by his friend's emerald eyes for a moment longer, entranced by the way they seemed to be framed in sparkling jewels.

He had beautiful eyes, that was one of the things Jackie had learned.

The short boy pointed over to a field of purple flowers and began rambling about hybrids history and how they bloom. How they've evolved, how they’re perceived and what they mean. Another enderman creature came up briefly, something about bouquets and wedding venues although the conversation quickly changed pace towards the vines of ivy and grapevine that grew over the side of the building, the grape curling around frames with the ivy tracing the cracks between bricks.

They talked about flowers for the rest of the night, one going on tangents of pollination with the other humbly listening, wandering around the garden as ramblings of petals and pigment created a hum from the greenery.

It was a nice night, afterall Ran’s cheeks hurt from smiling for so long, and what night like that couldn't have been nice?

Just for tonight.

At least just for tonight.

---

It was important to keep logs of the day. Information discovered, things that should have gone unseen and private being filtered out through trails of citizens and roads leading to another realm.

The page with flowers sketched into the corners, however, was one that would be ripped out and hidden, stuffed into the back of a drawer neatly folded and left to read over later.

Of course there were a few pages torn at the seams. Ones that Ran knew neither he nor Jackie would have wanted to be discovered.

They were important, though. The self-doubt, a weak link that could be potentially valuable during war-time, not that Ran was 100% sure that the diplomat he had been newly assigned even knew they were fighting.

It felt like a quiver lined with something bitter, the archer firing arrow heads made of needle and flint with a bow string lit on fire.

The trickles of ink from quill to paper detailing strategies and lackluster qualities of the opposing side.

This is when he’d remind himself of Rule 2.

The most important point to be made.

I wrote this like 3 months ago so the pacing is a bit weird. but jackie is kinda out of character for a reason lol sleep deprivation and burnout will do that to you :]

its sweet though its so sweet im going all TwT rn.... awwwwwwweee

okay now i must return to my work prison (god its due soon and im doing just Horribly help hudvsjkmx)

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[cxgvs]

hello its me

hmm idk why i wanna write something here tho yknow i think tumblr d worded to my same gen tumblr moots ...

anyway

maybe one day when i die, my friends & family will find my blog and just /know/ you know but lmao theyre probably just gonna find my yn fics hahaha

anywayyyy back to the real reason why i wanna write here...

i find it scary im having these kind of thoughts lately i dont know if its because of my job? (maybee? its actually the only reason i see rn?) bc honestly... im doing fine in all other things..

friends? theyre okay.. we talk and meet up if this lockdown permits (yup 2021 and still in lockdown)

family? we're good as well.. im happy theyre healthy and well (hope it continues like that for a long time)

me? well.... i guess the problem starts there lol idk i keep having these thoughts bout wanting not to wake up from sleep yk lmao and it actually stems from not wanting to go to work with the role that i currently have ....

maybe im being ungrateful rn but i really feel like its not healthy for me to be in this role.. its too pressuring, gives me anxiety.. and i know im only a month in but do you really have to be in a situation longer for you to say that its toxic for you? toxic for your mental health?

honeslty idk i feel kinda bad that im prioritizing my mental health over earning like putting myself first is something so bad lol i feel so guilty about feeling this way

and i feel that im unfair bc my family is working so hard in different countries, working their asses off, literally one have to caught the virus (theyre ok now tho) but still work

and im here,,, being a fucking baby,, whining about how THIS is the worst situation that i am in lmao

but they just dont get it,,, maybe i was mentally unstable right before all this happened (my job) and now its triggering these thoughts out of me and seriously i have never wanted to feel this way, i swear.. i didnt want to feel so broken,, so weak,,, i dont want to constantly ask for help,,, show signs that im emotionally & mentally drowning,,,, its just so hard to be living this way..

i didnt even realize that I'll go to such extent of wishing i dont wake up from my sleep

but at the same time, im fucking terrified this "life" will last longer you know?

you know how in books/universe beliefs that what you want to happen will be jinxed if you keep thinking about it lmao

im so so terrified about it like,, what if i really wanna die but end up living 100 more years lol

like bitch i dont wanna live so long if im this unhappy.. i dont want this life if im just constantly insecure about everything, how im literally fucking depressed and unhealthy..

and im so fucking sick hearing about "you can change this for yourself" "live life/change your life for you" "youre the driver of this life" bullshit like BRO DO YOU THINK I DONT KNOW THAT

Like ok man i KNOW i can change my life but at this fucking moment???? i cant???? and its difficult to just wake up one day and feel inspired and be full of energy in a mental state like this???

yall r so fucking stupid if you also think depression is being so skinny, eating less, looking stressed and fuck bc depression is also the opposite.. like honestly?? i dont fucking look depressed but look at me now tho?? haha

im overweight, i dont look sleep deprived, i still eat, and i still sleep.. im here but sometimes im not here you know?

whats worse is that depression here is being so downplayed like its just "drama"& not a real fucking disease,, i have relatives who would think - they've been thru worse and that YOU feeling sad and depressed for them is just whines and worthless drama and that youre just overreacting like you dont have a fucking right to feel that way just because theyve been thru "worst" lmao ok bitch do you want a fucking "not depressed" award

well fuck im sorry my generation have to deal with your fucking trauma bc you let it out on us just because we're younger and you dont have any idea that the shit youre putting us thru is actually YOUR trauma???? like fuck

sigh

im just so tired of this unhappiness.. i miss my old self,, the better me,,, i miss my passions,, the things that make me happy,,, bc right now, i can only do so much and still feel this way..

i can paint and sing all day but it wont bring me back the same energy, the same joy it brought to me before - and i miss that...

why do i have to be this way? i just wanna be happy..

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[mysticwhatnow]

Can you make RFA + v + saeran cheats on MC than she knows but they don't know she knows. She take everything she owns and wipe her existence from their home ( takes everything she put and the photos she's in ) than leaves her phone so they won't track her and leave them without a word just a proof of what they did. How would they react to it / how it'll end. I'll leave it to you ^^ thank you :3 bounce is MC was pregnant and didn't tell them.

Oh, jeez, this was slightly difficult! But I hope this is to your liking!

Yoosung

he didn’t know how it happened, honestly??

one day he was at college and the next he was in a bed with another woman?

he felt so bad, he wanted to tell MC but he knew she would probably leave

he couldn’t lose her

so he kept it a secret, and continued the affair with the woman

only because she was helping him study,, uh-huh, sure yoosung

but of course, MC does find out

and b o y is she angry

she’s so upset and she’s so angry with herself for not finding out sooner and upset at yoosung

especially with the baby she just found out she was having with him

and she was so excited about that too!! 

but now she doesn’t know what to do

she ends up wiping everything clean, going incognito completely

she leaves her phone and takes the photos and everything

she doesn’t want any trace 

when he comes home he loses it, he knows what happened and what he just lost

months pass and they’re still hoping she might one day show up again

yoosung ends up seeing her at a market and drops everything

he rushes to her and stops dead in front of her when he sees the stomach bulge

had she moved on?? 

she tries to ignore him and move on but it’s so painful and she’s trying not to cry

he keeps explaining what he did was a mistake and it was reckless and he’s sorry and he won’t do it again

it’s just a lot of frantic apologizing and rambling that she had grown to love

so she gives in, but it’ll take a long time for her to forgive him completely

surprised, he asks her about the baby thinking she was with another guy and stuff 

she doesn’t say anything for a moment and speaks softly

“it’s your child” and he’s d e a d- his child?!?! seemed like the guilt doubled at that 

she had to deal with a child on the way and the fact the father cheated on her

he hugs her close and apologizes more saying he’ll never do that again

in the end, the two end up happy again, plus a tiny little bab!

Zen

it was with one of his co-actors

mc was coming to give him his lunch and walks in his room/thingy ma jiggy

finds him making out with a actor against the wall 

she drops the lunch and doesn’t give it second thought, running off

zen sees her, going to chase after her but the directors and others are getting in the way

when he reaches home, he’s to late, everything it gone

the pictures, the phone is left, and her clothes are gone

how did she move so fast?? 

he ends up alerting the rfa fast, begging for seven and jumin’s help

he needs to find her, he needs to apologize

they search for her and search, but they don’t seem to have any clue where she might be

he’s completely heartbroken, but never gives up

until one day, he gets a call

“are you related to MC?” 

his heart drops because he knows how this works

he explains how he’s her ex, and leaves it at that

“sir, i’m afraid she’s passed away from a car accident.”

just when he thought it couldn’t get worse

losing her? forever?

the doctor also explains how she was pregnant and they delivered the baby before she died

and explained how he was the father

he doesn’t hesitate, he figures it all out, signs papers, whatever. that baby is his and he won’t hurt it

he ends up raising the child and always tells he/she how great mc was

but he still cries as night, because he knows he won’t ever see her.

mamamystic is not a nice person

Jaehee

i can already hear the cries

“jAEHEE WOULD NEVER!!! SHE’S SO INNOCENT!!! PROTECC!!”

please she’d probably be staying at work late right and just is so fucking tired

so this one girl slithers right on up like “hey you need a place to crash?”

and i don’t know about you

but i make the worst mistakes when i’m sleep deprived

so she could’ve easily mistaken this chick for mc 

so she goes, right 

easily submissive, tired, got some of that good puss ya feel

of course, mc being the generous person they are, goes to Jaehee’s work

also to deliver the news that hey, the sperm donor thingy was successful. she was preggo. 

but she gets there, and to her surprise, no jaehee

so she asks around, blah blah, and one person explains how jaehee went home with another chick

now, mc isn’t one to assume, so she calmly leaves and just goes home 

doesn’t even call

she trusts jaehee, maybe she was doing work at the chick’s house

so morning comes, ye?

and jaehee comes home, super early, super super fucking guilty

but oh me oh my mc was there

she was w a t c h i n g 

mc ends up speaking from the couch, all calmly and startling the shit out of jaehee 

“so where were you babe?”

jaehee ends up telling her, furiously apologizing

mc doesn’t really know to react because she?? trusted jaehee??

but she does know what she’s gonna do 

she just,, fucking leaves 

not even saying anything

just out the door

jaehee knows better to stop her so she just

collapses on the couch

doesn’t show up on the chat

neither does mc so both are extremely worried

jaehee leaves for work (jumin forced her), and when she gets back, all of mc’s shit is gone

she doesn’t know how to react, but she buries it well 

she hides all the emotions, she just says “mc left” if anyone ever asks

it got to the point the whole rfa was worried sick 

they couldn’t find mc at all

so they eventually just.. gave up

she became nothing but a distant memory

(hahaha get it i made this ending sad)

Jumin

breathes in. breathes out. 

okay so jumin,,, tsk tsk. he would never ever hurt mc, but a few slip ups happen here and there

im sure something happened at his work, or the dude just fucked up

he probably ended up banging some girl while drunk in a cat suit for god sakes

anyways, he probably would tell mc right away, because he loves her and can’t lose her blah blah

anyways, i’m sure when she found out she was devastated because knowing jumin

she was informed of this over phone while he’s on a trip

the call goes well, she pretends it’s okay but inside she’s breaking

and what’s worse is she was just about to tell him the results came back positive

thats right. mc is pregnant fuckers. 

and she’s just, broken and she doesn’t know what to do except to run

so she does, she packs her shit, everything into the multiple suitcases 

it’s not hard to bypass everyone, if she explains she’s off on a trip to the spa or something

she manages to explain how she’d rather walk to said ‘spa’ to relax 

but really she’s just, leaving

nowhere else to go

she ends up disappearing though, and whenever jumin calls and doesn’t get a answer, he panics and calls the guards

but there’s literally no sign of her, all her pictures are gone

jumin freaks out more because 1. he knows what he did and it’s his fault and 2. he’s worried mc will get hurt

he ends up bringing out the big guns, goes crazy to search for her 

he comes home straight after, alerts rfa and everything. 

everyone’s on a wild goose chase to find her

eventually they find her, thanks to seven finding her friends’ places and doing a big ‘ol search, even if she left her phone

which she obviously did, she’s not stupid

by this time a couple of months has passed, because ya know, i said so

when they find her (she had been staying at a distant cousins house a few states away)

they knocked on the door and it wasn’t the guards or anything, no it was jumin

he looked like a mess, for once in his life

he was acting just like when he lost elizabeth

he begs and begs and apologizes (professionally, ofc)

just kidding

he notices the baby bulge too and it doesn’t take an idiot to do the math and realize

it breaks him even more because she kept it and he didn’t even know

it takes a lot of persuading and a lot of lost trust needed to be rebuilt, but she eventually does come back

she loves him even if he fucked up

many months later, things are back to normal- somewhat

they now have a little tiny munchikin :oo

Saeyoung

big big oof

see now saeyoung,,, saeyoung just fucked up really

he knows it too when he wakes up the next morning and he’s not in the same bed and you aren’t around

and the girl next to him is totally unregistered in his mind and he knows nothing

but unlike the others, saeyoung would probably say something and knowing him, make a small (or large, depending on how he views the situation) deal out of it

either way, mc would be pissed

because last week she found out she was pregnant with his child

so tears running down her face, she actually begins to pack right in front of his eyes

now he’s breaking down, begging her to stop and beginning to cry

he even goes to grab her hand but she yanks it and slaps him right across the face

“don’t fucking touch me, who knows where those hands have been.” she most likely snarled under her breath because WOO she’s upset. 

they don’t have a lot of pictures to begin with, so she doesn’t worry about those. she doesn’t even bother with his phone

as she’s leaving she turns, goes to grab his hand

he thinks she might change her mind or something to keep her from leaving 

but it’s actually just her phone and a sad and broken smile

me rn: nsgrejghkjfjhdfkhdk

and then she just.. leaves. and he can’t track her, he can’t do anything

saeyoung goes… completely opposite

he grows distant with the rfa, and he gets harsh and more cold

jaehee is a CONCERN MOM

thankfully, she has her ways, and her and mc were always close

so she finds where mc is staying (with her parents) and calls

basically she explains and like, begs mc to at least come over

mc can’t really say no. she loves saeyoung and she adores jaehee

so she does, arrives to his place and everything

before she can enter the arabic thing, it opens and seven’s there with tears and almost trips when he bends over and apologizes

like. a lot.

mc got to like 100 before she told him to stop

they talk, obviously, about them and about her baby

yes, saeyoung it’s yours

he’s mixed with sadness and so much joy

months down the road, you guys are better and with a little baby

mc doesn’t regret coming back to saeyoung thank god

Jihyun Kim

oh boy.

now, see here

jihyun probably just did a small fuckity uppity.

basically, he went to a photo contest and won, so a lot of girls were on him 

and drinks were there

and it went from 1 drink, to 2, to 5.

it didn’t go well, especially when mc had traveled all her way to surprise jihyun with her pregnancy test

so when she arrives at his hotel and finds it unlocked with clothes scattered everywhere, her heart drops

then switches to angry like nu-uh hunny no one cheats on me

she walks into the bedroom and tosses clothing at v, giving him a startling wakeup

she’s yelling and ranting and then finally tosses her phone and pregnancy test 

“hope you’re happy” is the last thing she says before slamming the door and leaving

v is.. DISTRESS.

he chases after her, lotsa stumbling and half nakedness too.

but she’s already out of the building

she thankfully gets a ride and manages to find a hotel to stay at

she doesn’t talk to anyone, so v has to suffice for the explanation

it doesn’t go so well either with the group

just like the previous ones, they’re upset and angry

mc definitely never deserved that

and v knows that

so he takes it into his own hand. he doesn’t return, but literaly S E A R C H E S for mc

day and night

it’s becoming draining, and he’s using her phone and only the memories of her to help him

and eventually he finds her

and he’s just, so awful and distressed mc has to double take

“what are you doing v?” and he just, breaks down apologizing

he’s crying, it’s some nasty crying too

he’s begging for her forgiveness, down on his knees and grabbing his hands

mc doesn’t really know what to do,,, honestly

she’s so conflicted? but she knows he loves her and she loves him

so with hesitant moving, she bends down and just,,, hugs him

and if you’ve ever seen someone breaking down worse but because they’re so happy

yeah that’s v lole

they end up staying at the hotel a bit longer to detress and later on, have their baby!!! its very cute and i love v thanks

Saeran

why.

okay so,, i imagine he met them from mint eye? just a friend that also got out of mint eye too?

(oops spoilers)

so anyways they start messaging after saeran and mc start dating and saeran is a bit clueless

until she shows up at their literal house and comes and is like

“mmm yes saeran” and he’s like “nOoOoo!” 

but for plot yea it happened

can you tell im tired

anyways so he wakes up and he realizes and he’s just,,,so guilty

but like saeyoung he’d tell mc

but he’d make it very blunt, yet very emotional so mc is a very big ????????????????

she’s so hurt and so angry, especially after coming back from the doctors

but she can’t just,, leave the two siblings alone

so she ops for the couch, even though saeyoung is confused

when he finds out though he’s so concerned, especially because later during the night he sees saeran occasionally pop his head out to stare at mc who was asleep on the couch

“dude, you fucked up” “it wasn’t my fault?” “????????????”

so saeyoung and him talk about it 

yes, saeran was guilty for going through it, but saeran hasn’t exactly been used to all this 

mc had to understand this, and saeyoung was sure she did

but despite his efforts, saeran and mc can just... not talk 

mc’s to upset and bothered about something, and saeran doesn’t just understand

so when saeyoung finally forces them (with a bit of exasperated yelling)

mc blurts out “im pregnant”

silence.

saeran just... stares? “is it mine?”

“of course it is you dimwit.” 

that breaks a bit of tension because she laughd and saeran cracks a much needed smile

so they do talk

saeran explains his point and mc explains her point

they eventually understand, and comfort each other

mc goes over to hug and saeran’s just... smiling and saeyoung feels proud 

and proud of himself but yknow

later on they have a cute little brown haired baby with orange eyes and theyre so cute!!!!

HEY GUYS!!! IM BACK!! I took a severe long hiatus because I lost interest in Mystic Messenger, but recently got the game again and here I am!! I hope you all haven’t missed me to much. 

[matronaa]

Jungkook “fuckboy?” drabble

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 1,637

Genre: Fluff/mentions of smut?

Okay look its about 1 in the morning while im writing this and i just got done literally scrolling thru @jungshookz  e n t i r e page and honestly ive been delusionally laughing over her stories for like an hour and a half like the tattooartist!jungkook fic legit killed me i love it  and i’m probably going to force my friend to check her out because legit i love it so much and she seems like such a funny person and if she sees this 1) ily and ur writing and i wanna be friends but idk how to start a conversation because im a awKwARd bEan and 2) im sorry for probably spamming ur notifications with likes okay i couldnt help it so now im inspired for the first time in a while to write but im way to loopy to put together an actual fic so enjoy this ig

Okay i should stop rambling (okay just note that im so sleep deprived that i had to google ‘words for excessive talking’ to remember the word rambling because im an idiot and i cant think and ooo its 1:11 am rn make a wish b*tches)

Okay im sorry ill begin~

A/n all of this is completely unedited and if bad grammar annoys you srry not srry

Lets talk about what fuckboy!jungkook is oki

I feel like in reality there are just a bunch of rumors about him but hes so smol and hes the quiet type so he doesnt have the energy to dismiss them

Like im sorry soft jungkook is way to good in my mind rn okay #cuddles4days im not in the mood for him to strangle me with his amazing biceps

Anyway

you never rlly met him in the 4 years of going to the same highschool as him (since you’re in those smart people classes like humanities) until senior year

You and him had the same AP Lit. class lmao english class is  l i t

Which surprised you bc of the rumors like i thought he was a badboy ?? arent those normally idiots ??

Nah my bby is a smart nugget, he just likes to look hella bf 25/8

First day of school cliche where you show up late to class and have to sit next to him because i  d i e  for those plots okay

But you dont know thats him because you’ve never seen him, so you’re confused on why most of the girls keep glaring at you

But soon enough you catch on and you’re like fml

And then the professor is like “where you are sitting is your assigned seating for the rest of the year” and you’re like f m L

He ends up introducing himself to you because i mean like table buddies

But hes really nervous because hes a cute little bean and you’re hella cute cuz lets be honest ur probably wearing like basic black leggings and a hoodie with your hood over your head to hide the bed hair you didnt feel like brushing that morning

Oh, just me? Okay…

He likes ur name because it rolls off the tongue and he thinks it suits you even tho he doesnt know you

Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You dont really think hes a fuckboy because he seems so nice and he has the cutest lil bunny smile sEE

That is until after school u end up getting to ur locker late because u left something in one of your classes

And u see him pinning a girl against the lockers down the hall

And ur like well shit nvm

And u quickly get ur shit and go because das  a w k w a r d

But then he sees u run off and hes like awh crap i dun fucked up

A few weeks go by and u notice he barely really comes to class so u usually sit alone

On days he does come his chair seems extra close to yours and he’s basically smothering you

But u dont mind because he smells nice

And on the days he does come you get kinda excited because

1) you get a partner who doesnt expect you to do all of the work

2) this boy cute when he gets all intelligent

Ur  like “yes pls continue speaking about the essay we are writing that i have no idea is on because i kept getting lost in the sound of ur voice”

He notices when u zone out because you start staring at his lips when hes talking and he thinks its the cutest thing

One day u get assigned a week long project and ur close enough friends with jungkook to basically scold and force him to come to class all week

But only if he can force u to come to his house to work on it after school

Which you’re low key nervous of because ur going to a ‘fuckboy’s house’ by yourself

And u dont wanna do the dirty because ur a pure child haha not for long

But you agree anyway

And honestly even after the project is done (which you got an A on) you continue going over to his house because his bed is comfortable and he always has snacks

And his mom loves you

Like legit on days you dont go the next day you do she’s like “wheRE WERE YOU”

When the semester is over the professor lets you pick seats but you both enjoy each other’s company so you stay seated together.

finally ur at his house one day and ur just laying on his bed scrolling thru insta and he’s sitting on his bean bag in the corner on his phone and u look up at him and realise

Shit

You like him

Like a lot

And u mentally face palm because this was not supposed to happen

But it happened and you’re too far down the hole to climb out

Sometimes u end up napping at his house after school because his bed is more comfortable than yours and one friday night u wake up in his arms

And its like the best feeling ever

Its so warm and hes so cuddly hes like latched onto you

You stay under the warm blankets before you question when he even got in bed since he was playing video games before you fell asleep

And then his phone lights up and ofc you check it for him bc ur a nosey bitch

But not before you observed how adorable he was while he was sleeping

Nope not creepy at all

its his friend tae texting him (you didn’t really know his friends since you had different friend groups)

You check it and its smth like “stop staring at y/n while shes sleeping and reply u creep”

And you’re like w a t

So you scroll up and see that while u were sleeping jungkook went on a full rant on how cute u are and how whipped he is

And ur like holy fadoodles dis boy likes me

And so u decided to text tae like “this is y/n, does he actually like me”

Which turns into you both having a convo on how thirsty jungkook is until he wakes up

Hes like wtf r u doing and he snatches the phone and reads through your messages with tae while u like sit up to stare at him

And he’s still half asleep so it takes him to realise whats going on

“Omfg y/n i can explain-”

He starts rambling about how long he had been crushing on u and that he didn’t want to tell you because you seemed uninterested so he kept it a secret and never told anyone

And honestly he was freaking out because the onE tiMe he tells anyone that he likes you, you find out

But while he’s rambling you’re coming up with an excuse to text your mom that you’re spending the night at his house, so you just say he’s not feeling well and his parents are gone for the weekend.

Lmao she doesnt care she’s just like “lmao ik ur lying but have fun dont get pregnant”

Or Maybe thats just my mom idk

You have to shut him up by snatching his phone out of his hands and kissing him

When you pull away you’re just like “you talk too much lmao”

You explain to him that you like him too and u just get under the covers again and snuggle up next to him, and he wraps his arms around you

And you stay like that for a while before hes like “its late you should get home”

And you tell him you’re staying the night whether he likes it or not

And he is so down for that

But then you end up just spending the weekend there because why not his parents love you

And every night is just filled with cuddling, watching netflix, making out, late night snacks, etc.

Saturday night he gets a lil touchy and soon enough ur like straddling him and grinding your hips against his

But then he’s like “Ive never done this before” and you c o m b u s t

Ur like aren’t you like the school fuckboy how have you not done this

And he tells you its all just rumors and hes too lazy to set the record straight

And you basically decide to take things slow that night since it was you’re first time too and honestly it was so cute

It wasn’t really steamy rough sex it was more soft fluffy love making that is filled with giggling and exploring and appreciating each other

That was definitely the night you fell in love with him

Which is big because you thought love was gross

The next day you’re cuddling and he’s like “you know ur my gf now”

And ur like duh

You start going on cute dates after that like going to cafes or amusement parks

He loved taking you to the beach during the summer because u looked gr8 in a bikini

You found out you were going to the same college with was fantastic, so you decided to rent an apartment together nearby the campus instead of living in a dorm.

Which normally you’d be against because moving in together so quickly ?? but you felt different like this relationship was going to last

UNTIL HE CHEATED

Lmao jk gotcha bitch

My baby is too pure and innocent to cheat

Well innocent until you both get into bed and then oh lord it gets steamy

He wants to experiment with like e v e r y t h i n g and honestly you were down

But ofc you set some boundaries.

There were lines he couldn’t cross

I mean sometimes he tried but you shut that down real quick

Overall your relationship was perfect and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend

I mean he brought you pizza rolls and dr pepper to ‘study dates’ how could you not love him.

Oml it took me over an hour to write this its like 2:30 am why am i awake anyway imma go to bed now, idk ur name jungshookz but pls write more fanfics i need more to read late at night okay gnite

[bbangjaes]

omg writing this one gave me mad feels

i hope you like it, thanks for the request!

-mik

SF9 SCENARIO: Helping Their S/O Fall Asleep

Youngbin:

I feel like Bin-Bin would be v v v v caring as a boyfriend in general and, when you couldn’t sleep, he would do everything in his power to help you get rest bc he cared about you a lot (and he wouldn’t want to deal with a cranky gf the next day lmao). He would crawl into bed with you and wrap you up in his arms with your head against his chest. He would stroke your hair or rub your back to help you calm down and boy would you be #lovinit. I also feel lke he would be really warm ?????? so he’d feel like a human blanket and you would be oh so comfy and soft and in heaven so you’d fall asleep super easily in your little Youngbin cocoon (*screams* i feel like he is such cuddler and i love cuddling so much so i’m really struggling rn).

Inseong:

Though he is a crusty little shit, he’d be such a softie with you if you needed help falling asleep. I can totally see him cuddling you and *heaves* singing you to sleep. This actual soft angel boy would hold you all close and sing you some really pretty lullaby or song that would have you dozing off in no time at all (u might also cry bc holy shit this would be a moment). Once you fell asleep, he’d stop singing and carefully give you a lil kiss on your forehead bc 1) fuck yeah, forehead kisses and 2) he was high-key pumped that he succeeded in putting you to sleep with his smooth vocals (i also see him grinning really big to himself bc he’s also cocky af).

Jaeyoon:

Much like Inseong, I feel like our honey voice Jaeyoon would sing you to sleep. He would be very sad and worried about you if you couldn’t fall asleep and would quickly formulate a plan to get his beautiful baby some beauty rest (yo this boy would be on a mission). He would wrap you up in blankets and spoon you while he serenaded you with a v sweet love song (holy moly i am having so many feelings just imagining this lord help me). Oh my would you be so very comfy and relaxed and content with such a lovable boyfriend and would have no trouble at all falling asleep anymore.

I LOVE THIS GIF WHAT A LIFE-RUINING CUTIE

Dawon:

This boy is so damn loud that I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the cause your sleeplessness (like srsly when is he not screaming or yelling lmao i swear to god i love him tho). When it came down to it though, he would try his very best to help his lovebug get some sleep bc sleep is v important who doesn’t love sleep amiright ladies (yo fuck that, sleep is for the weak haha i’m so sleep-deprived rn help me). This honey bun would become a human pillow in order to maximize full comfiness capabilities. Or, in other words, would put on super soft clothes and let you rest your pretty little head on him while he held you close like his most prized possession (yeah yeah i know you’re not a possession/object blah blah i’m just trying to emphasize how much he treasures u damn it). But yeah he’d basically embody the spirit of all things comfy to help you fall asleep and that shit would work like a charm.

Zuho:

YOOOOOOOO ZUHO WOULD BE THE SOFTEST OF THE SOFT. I can see this sweetie being v calm and caring if you needed him to help you fall asleep. He would get into bed with you and wiggle under the covers so that he was super duper close to you bc personal space ???????? that shit is overrated. I imagine him talking to you extra sweetly while he adjusts his position to wrap you up in his long noodle arms and making sure that you are comfy (YALL IM FLASHING BACK TO THIS POST BC HIS VOICE WOULD BE SO SLEEPY IM WEAK). I feel it in my heart of hearts that Baek Juho would be just a complete and total sweetheart and would make you feel so loved and safe and thoroughly believe that it would be near impossible to have trouble falling asleep with this man holding you. Peace. End of story. *drops mic*

Rowoon:

THIS POOR MOM WOULD BE SO DISTRAUGHT IF YOU COULDN’T SLEEP. Seokwoo would be the embodiment of all things stressed tf out bc he would always be nagging you about getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, taking good care of yourself, etc. He would try giving you a glass of warm milk or some shit like that to help you falll asleep but it wouldn’t work and he would be back to square one. When the frazzled mom ran out of options, he’d finally just cuddle you (i’m laughing so hard bc he would be so clueless and wouldn’t realize that cuddling is always the solution poor thing). Our giant man-baby would wrap you up in a little Rowoon burrito and you would be really really comfy and it would just be really great (well damn it now i’m hungry bc i wrote the word burrito).

Taeyang:

This boyfriend would be v v v v v v v soft and sweet if his boo couldn’t sleep. He would make sure that you had enough blankets and pillows and would ask if you wanted to sleep in a shirt of his or something illegally cute like that (i’m drowning in the feels bc he would be such a sweet lil bun). He would cuddle you and hum some pretty-sounding nonsense that would be oddly pleasing and soothing to help you relax. IDK WHY BUT I JUST IMAGINE HIM STROKING YOUR HAIR  AND LIKE PLAYING WITH IT BETWEEN HIS FINGERS AND SHIT (lms if u too like it when ppl play with ur hair bc i think it’s the best thing since sliced bread). Yo he’d be extremely soothing and so sweet that you would practically get a damn cavity and you would not struggle in the least to fall alseep thanks to your boyfriend Tae.

Hwiyoung:

Have no fear, Hwiyoung is here. This needy little cuddle monster would be more than ready to save the day and cuddle you into submission bc I honestly feel like this boy’s true calling is cuddling for some reason. He would be the cutest little puppy and would practically pounce on you bc he would want to get in bed with you A.S.A.P. He would snuggle you so close to him and would make sure that there was no part of you left untouched by his softness (ok that might sound a lil dirty but i promise that, for once, it was not intended that way lmao). Oh me oh my you would be in heaven bc Hwi is low-key a cuddle master and the true definition of cuddly (like seriously i imagine him being a complete cuddle god). Let’s just say that your sleeplessness would be no match for this boyfriend.

Chani:

I KNOW I SAY THAT THEY ARE ALL REALLY SOFT BOYFRIENDS N SHIT BUT I SWEAR TO GOD THAT CHANI IS HANDS-DOWN THE SOFTEST BOYFRIEND OF ALL. *takes a deep breath* Okay, I’m ready. I genuinely feel like Chani is the type to fall really hard for a girl and that you would mean the literal world to him if you were his girlfriend (idk why but i just see him being head-over-heels when he is in love with someone) so if you had any type of problem, he would try v hard to make you happy. If you couldn’t fall asleep, he would sort of just casually slip into bed with you and lay so that you two were face-to-face with your foreheads touching and the he’d look down like a shy little bean and talk to you about the weather or something random bc why the fuck not. I can also see him playing with your hands and doing that thing where you sort of rub your thumb around in a circle and it’s just really soothing and cute and UGH (yo i just imagine chani being super fascinated with hands i’m not really sure why). Ok this getting really long now but what the fuck did you expect from a Chani stan. But I just see you two giggling and chatting until you both fall asleep and your worries would just vanish and you would get some good ass sleep. THE END.

(yes wow look at that quality gif made by yours truly)

[heungtanbts]

re·al·i·za·tion

noun

The moment of sudden clarity when feelings are finally recognized, or are made aware for the first time.

It hit you one late night at the library while you were cramming for and crying over midterms along with the other student zombie population. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary - you were in your regular spot as per usual, inked paper and random notes scattered all around you, the dimming screen of your laptop reflected in your glasses, hair haphazardly pulled back and out of your face. And he was there with you, as per usual, his own laptop illuminating the serious and focused look on his face as he rested his chin on one propped hand while the other worked hard to scroll down his screen on his keyboard. Just two university students, two dormmates, two friends, studying at the library. The only difference between you two? He wasn't studying - oh, no - you knew from the last time you got up and walked past him that he definitely not studying. 

He was too busy immersing himself in novels on his e-reader, either that or he was online shopping and silently but not so subtly ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the prospective of buying new jackets and hats. Though it made your blood boil at times (many times, actually), the fact of the matter was simple - he didn't need to study, unlike yourself. So when you thought about it, it was strange how naturally you two even started to "study" together on a regular basis at the campus's main library. It took you a second to remember how it all came to be, but last semester during the first round of exams, you specifically remembered having gotten a call from Namjoon while studying at the library. It was kind of hard to forget, only because you forgot to silence your phone that day and the sound of Epik High's "Fly" bouncing off the high dome ceiling got you some pretty lethal death glares.

You: WHAT NAMJOON

Joonie: WHOA GOOD EVENING CAPS

Joonie: i was jw where u r

Joonie: and if ur down to get bogo smoothies rn

You: my phone went off and now the entire student population probably hates me and epik high now for breaking their concentration thanks to SOMEONE

Joonie: wow, someones just a tad bit sleep deprived and cranky

You: shut up joon

Joonie: hey its not my fault u forgot to silence your phone

You: i hate you. i hate this. i hate everything.

Joonie: arent u being just a little dramatic?

You: well unlike you, us pea brains actually need to study and i havent slept in the last 38 hours and iTS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH OKAY JUST LET ME LIVE

Joonie: .....so is that a no?

You: joon istg

Joonie: y/n jst hurry up and tell me where u r cuz im bout to spill these smoothies amd textng w one hand is hard

You: ...are these smoothies caffeinated

Joonie: no but i got ur favorite

You: peach mango?

Joonie: of course

You: ...2nd floor, east wing reading room

That's when he discovered your study spot, and from then on, he always knew where to find you if he ever, well, couldn't find you. He would often times switch it up from late night bogo smoothies to double shot espresso shot americanos (especially when he knew you were pretty cranky) or on really really terrible nights, forced but much appreciated midnight taco runs. He had always been such a nocturnal person, by choice though, unlike yourself. But you came to appreciate his company more than you thought you would, even more than the caffeine and sweet or greasy foods he'd buy and scarf down with you. You knew he pretty much never studied, and every time he was with you, you'd have to consciously push those thoughts aside or else he'd go from being the most wonderful and caring person to becoming even more hateful in your eyes. And that might make you forget that this was the guy that always stayed up with you during your consecutive allnighters, put up with your stress-related lash outs at him, made sure you ate something regularly because you'd always forget to eat at normal times, and forced you to take the study breaks you didn't think you needed, and he would do this all voluntarily and weirdly enough, very willingly. You'd never asked him to join you, he just did. And even a whole semester later, he hadn't once let you down as your caffeine supplier and even more so, your good friend.

It wasn't until this particular night that it suddenly all hit you at once. Looking up, your eyes traveled to the other side of the table to see him sleeping peacefully, his head resting on his arms on the table, his carefree face and closed eyes facing towards you. It was just a few minutes shy of 3am and it should've pissed you off that he was frolicking along in dreamland while you were desperately fighting against the cravings to shut your eyes for even just a few minutes. But when you saw his sleeping posture, his skin free from any stress lines and wrinkles, plump lips slightly parted, his one cheek starting to turn red from where his knuckles were leaving an imprint, hate was the last thing you felt. It just hit you that Namjoon was right there, not in his own bed sleeping at a normal godly hour, not spending his time doing his own hobbies or with his other friends – he was here, with you.

"Yo." 

Before you could stop that one word from leaving your lips, he stirred from his sleep, eyes slowly fluttering open as he took a quick, disoriented look around before squeezing them back shut and reaching his long arms out in front of him, stretching and cracking all the stiff joints in his body. With strands of his brunette locks decorating his forehead and drowsiness clinging to his eyelids, he couldn't have looked so different to you in that moment.  

"What's up?" He whispered, his deep raspy voice even lower than it usually was during the daytime. He was staring back at you, his eyes wide open and alert as you took a few seconds longer to think of a reply. What was up? Why did you even wake him up? What did you even want to say to him that was important enough to bother him? You weren't even sure what was going on in your own head. All you knew was that your heart was pounding loudly against your chest, and you had to find out why, you just didn't know how. So you did what any normal person would do if they were to get stuck with a difficult question to answer - shoot a question back at them.

"Why...are you here?"

He looked taken aback, slowly straightening his posture as he shifted to face you straight on. That definitely caught him off guard, but you were even more surprised that you actually asked the question that you didn't even know had been lingering in your mind for some time now. His eyebrows knit together in contemplation as he used the silence to think of an answer to a simple yet not so simple question, and you almost regretted even asking him in the first place. But the flustered look on his face gradually dissipated as his lips curved up into the gentlest of smiles you had ever seen from him, leaning into the palm of his hand yet again, crooking his head to the side so lovingly, his warm chocolatey eyes melting you from the inside out. But his next words would be the ones to really seal the deal. 

"Simple – because you're here."

It hit you one late night at the library while you were cramming for and crying over midterms along with the other student zombie population. You had just finished a peach mango smoothie and ditched your studying completely to admire a handsome yet hateful fellow as he captured your heart with his peaceful sleeping posture, his soft dimpled smile, his deep raspy voice, and his warm, comfortable presence. And it suddenly hit you like an oncoming train. There weren’t any fireworks, no blaring sirens or flashing neon signs – you figured out that none of that was necessary to finally have that realization. All you needed was that undeniable moment of clarity. And as he continued to gaze at you, it hit you hard.

You would never be able to look at Kim Namjoon the same ever again.

[gaymirajane]

1 or 7 for sildarts please moz

“Are you drunk?”

Silver yawned, stretching himself out as he padded into the dark kitchen. Gray and Cana had just fallen asleep, an impressive action for two six-year-olds who were having their first sleep over, and Silver was proud that he had survived the evening; he would never take having only one child for granted again. 

It was already past ten at night, and he was exhausted. After a week at work and two small children, he was prepared for a tea, a comedy, and his bed. No more complications and dramas, just the simple, domestic life that he had been forced into since the death of his wife. 

As the kettle boiled, Silver scrolled aimlessly through his phone, loading apps just to close them again, thumb hovering over his three unread emails before deciding finally that they could wait until until the morning. Just as he was about to lock his phone again, it vibrated far too loudly in his now blissfully quiet kitchen. It was Gildarts, which was to be expected; he no doubt wanted to check once more that Cana was okay before he settled down himself. He was not a complication in Silver’s pre-planned, simple evening. He was safe. 

Cradling the phone between his shoulder and his ear so he could pour water into his mug, Silver answered. 

“Hello?”

“If you were here right now, I would so be trying to have sex with you.”

Silver jerks so fast boiling water splashes back onto his wrist, and he yelps, knocking over the cup and wincing as it clatters against the counter. He waits with still breath for the sound of feet across the landing, but he hears none.

“Gildarts, what the fuck?” He hisses down the phone. 

“You’re just… so pretty. And the last time was really fucking good and-”

“The only time.” Silver snaps, before he fully registers that, although this is definitely Gildarts on the line, his tone is wavering, his words blurring on occasion. Silver sighs, feeling the remnants of an earlier headache pulsate against his skull.

“Gildarts… are you drunk?” 

“Of course not, but I have had one or two.” Gildarts giggles, as though he isn’t a thirty-something-year-old grown man offering sex to the parent of his daughter’s best friend. This was an entire concept hat Silver didn’t feel ready to consider. Not tonight, anyway, with his mind deprived of sleep and his body ready for tea and his bed. 

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Silver offers flatly, and it is as much a demand as it is a question. Still, he hears the breathy whine that Gildarts responds with and a new wave of exhaustion hits him. This is not fucking happening tonight!

“But I want you no-oo-ow!” The final syllables are dragged out in that obnoxious way that only drunk people can achieve, and Silver briefly debates the pros and cons of simply putting the phone down.

Instead, he grits his teeth and clutches the phone tightly, willing the last shards of his self-control to present themselves. Never have they been more needed; somehow dealing with Gildarts was always more tiring than Gray and Cana combined, and it seemed to be doubly so when the man was under the influence of alcohol.” 

“Look, Gildarts. We’re not having this conversation when both of our children are three doors away. Sober up, and text me in the morning. If you still feel the same way in the morning, we’ll discuss this properly, as adults should.”

“Silverrr! You take the fun out of everything!” Never has hearing his name being rolled over a tongue vexed Silver as much as in that moment. 

“Goodnight, Gildarts.” He grinds out and presses his thumb forcefully on the ‘end call’ option. 

His phone hadn’t even reached his back pocket before it buzzed again, only once, signifying a text message. With a guttural groan of annoyance, Silver read the notification on the screen:

‘Goodnight!!

“Fuck!” Silver threw his phone on the counter and grabbed some kitchen towel to mop up the now lukewarm water, scrubbing the surface so aggressively he almost forgot about the mortifying conversation he would have to have tomorrow.  

File this under ‘shit mollie shouldnt have written whilst under the influence of alcohol at 2:30 in the morning. Idk if this is anything you wanted to read maya but it kinda wrote itself so idk… i intend to fill in the other prompt as well, but its gonna be a lot longer so i need more time to work on it and im so tried rn it just isnt worth it. I hope you like this one though!

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a full-grown adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you discern the daily skirmish that is doing whatever the fuck you want while at the same time wanting to have a great person and great surface. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Governors Ball but also look 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and gobbling sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who throws actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she ate last-place night. So heres a directory of meat you should forestall like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you should embrace because theyll fasten your fucking face. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Devour Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even snacks canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird preoccupation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a cherry-red fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and stimulates your torso to hold on to ocean, which is why your face is always puffy or you have pouched under your eyes that can be seen from room, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and too be hateful on Instagram, eating salmon is a sure space to get better looking surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fatties. These fats reinforce cell membranes and nourish the surface to exclude you searching fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol just because you frequently say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purify your body are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as inferno, especially the light-green juices which is capable of have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual destruction when it comes to having clear skin. ^ I suspect every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your skin. The more you are familiar. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy paunches and wont leave your surface searching more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I visualized coming. Good-for-nothing that savours this good can be anything but destruction on your person. And since Im not on my age rn in control of my figure I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which is capable of figure this fun thing called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your form. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly dining ice cream is age you.* paces into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it savours health and the whole time youll be pleasing you two are dining real chocolate with real flavor at the least your skin will seem good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick joke. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time someone responds everyone to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my brain around because coffee is literally one of the only rationales I get out of bunked in the morning, and hence, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your mas to lose water and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of boozing red-hot lemon liquid know it sounds as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and holds some much needed support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the principal organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons drinking on dates that objective in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by this list. Like, is person looking at my bank proclamation and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel patronizes? Because Im feeling genuinely assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for days.* prays this is fake word* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id rather deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the rate we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it appears miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve launched will not only give you clear/ glowy surface but likewise pushes against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones surprise except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my gaiety, soda is bad for you. And because we are drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Likewise drinking various kinds of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, crusade rosacea, eczema, and acne fucking with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant exactly suck vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer scalp , not croak. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that ogles good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my surface. About damn age. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you want clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch rolls around then chug some of this and claim like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you delight is possibly fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not draw the inventory, but thats mostly because I refused to do any actual research that would support otherwise. Who says you cant realise your own destiny? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self verify dont just wanted to relinquish your delight theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-47/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a mature adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you distinguish the daily strive that is doing whatever the fuck off miss while at the same time wanting to have a great person and enormous skin. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Ministers Ball but also seem 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did invest the weekend going through mimosas like water and ingesting sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who applies actual vitamins and minerals into her structure so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she chewed last darknes. So heres a roll of meat you should eschew like an ex-boyfriend slipping into your DMs and foods you should embrace because theyll sterilize your fucking heads. Damn, Ive went bars. DONT: Ingest Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even gobbles canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a blood-red fucking pennant that this kid was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and generates your body to hold on to sea, which is why your face is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and also be obnoxious on Instagram, dining salmon is a sure practice to get better searching scalp. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fattens. These fattens reinforce cadre membranes and nourish the surface to prevent you examining fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol just because you often say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purge your form are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual destruction when it comes to having clear scalp. ^ I guess every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been gushing liquid sugar into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Abide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These different kinds of smoothies are high in healthy flabs and wont leave your scalp gazing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I investigated coming. Good-for-nothing that tastes this good can be anything but sabotage on your organization. And since Im not on my date rn in control of my torso I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can species this fun circumstance called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your mas. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy ogling. So mostly chewing ice cream is aging you.* paces into oncoming congestion* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your scalp. So even though it preferences health and the whole time youll be pleasing you two are eating real chocolate with real flavor at the least your scalp will gaze good AF and be protected by wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick joke. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time someone responds everyone to ministries and departments email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my mentality around because coffee is literally one of the only rationales I get out of bed in the morning, and hence, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling temperament. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( imitation word Im sure !) which causes your organization to lose liquid and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of drinking red-hot lemon ocean sounds about as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and presents some very much support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins boozing on daytimes that intent in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by this list. Like, is person looking at my bank affirmation and be careful to ensure that I spend a great amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel browses? Because Im feeling actually criticized rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for dates.* prays this is phony report* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id rather deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the toll we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it ogles miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve established will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but likewise fightings against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones surprise except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my merriment, soda is bad for you. And just because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Too boozing various kinds of soda can really fuck with your skin. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant precisely drink vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer surface , not succumb. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that looks good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn experience. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life difficulties. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch rosters around then chug some of this and simulate like its booze something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rapture is perhaps fucking up your surface and you are able to cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not build the inventory, but thats largely because I refused to do any actual study that would substantiate otherwise. Who says you cant induce your own destiny? Listen, if all else fails and you have no self verify dont want to relinquish your joy theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-46/

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a matured adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you accept the daily strive that is doing whatever the fuck you miss while also wanting to have a great mas and great scalp. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Superintendents Ball but too look 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not go to Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and chewing enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a new me. A better me. A me who introduces actual vitamins and minerals into her arrangement so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she feed last night. So heres a schedule of meat you should evade like an ex-boyfriend sliding into your DMs and foods you are able to hug because theyll cook your fucking heads. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Chew Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even chews canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird obsession with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking flag that this child was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and effects your body to hold on to sea, which is why your look is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be objectionable on Instagram, gobbling salmon is a sure room to get better gazing surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fattens. These paunches fortify cell layers and nourish the surface to impede you ogling fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol exactly because you regularly tell shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to purify your organization are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear surface. ^ I reckon every fitstagrammer when the find out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their temples bodies DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Bide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy fatties and wont leave your surface gazing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I visualized entering. Good-for-nothing that tastes this good can be anything but destruction on your figure. And since Im not on my age rn in control of my body I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can organize this fun stuff called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your mas. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly devouring ice cream is aging you.* steps into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it flavours health and the whole meter youll be bidding you were devouring real chocolate with real flavor at the least your surface will examine good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time person replies everyone to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my psyche around because coffee is literally one of the only concludes I get out of bed in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this shining identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake information Im sure !) which causes your form to lose sea and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you miss glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon ocean know it sounds as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and presents some much needed support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins boozing on epoches that point in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank word and be careful to ensure that I waste a large amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel browses? Because Im find truly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for epoches.* prays this is bogus information* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably deprived than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the price we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it looks miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve installed will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but too battles against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones bombshell except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my merriment, soda is good for you. And only because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially interrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Likewise drinking any sort of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Also, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant merely booze vodka straight-shooting. I want to have clearer skin , not die. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that examines good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn time. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you require clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch rosters around then chug some of this and simulate like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rapture is likely fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not acquire the roster, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual research that they are able to attest otherwise. Who says you cant make your own destiny? Listen, if all else miscarries and you have no self hold dont want to relinquish your prosperity theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-43/