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away-ward · 8 months ago

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hey, a qna 285 follow-up. I looked through the mbti type links you posted and omfg, emmy is really most likely to be INFJ ☠️ like no wonder i cannot relate to her decisions lmfao! I said this because i'm an INTJ and as soon as i can relate to her perceiving her surroundings, she does something weird that caught me off guard like huhhhh? But im not mad at her yk, she just surprised me that's all. No because unsurprisingly, as an INTJ, i can understand where she came from, but her actions, words and thoughts are always so?? 🤣🫣 But not in a i-disagree-and-hate-this-character way but in a, ok-youre-kinda-relatable-but-why-did-you-choose-decision-a-instead-of-b-thats-not-rational, because just when i thought she should do rational a decision, she did b. EMORY's character always left me confused but surprisingly i understood her decisions and wasn't mad at her at all? Ngl, i wished she bullied Will more so that she can actually lived up to his pointy-finger claims and allegations 🙄 because will is so?? Lmao, he wouldn't have survived ME that's for sure. HAHAHAHAHAHA IDK!

As an INTJ, how i can relate or not relate to her is: i feel like emmy's almost there, but not quite in her decisions as compared to what i would actually do irl! Interesting enough i have a friend in real life who's also an INFJ, and another one who's ENFJ, and guess what KO, they're all so similar!!! Omg!!!! Hahahahaah, cute! Another two of my friends are INFPs, another one was ENFP, and only one is ISTJ, and ngl, this T type is really strict ☠️ and we only got along after a lot of dumb petty fights and heart to heart sessions, but even then we're still very stubborn. She's my most reliable friend though so theres that. Do i just attract a certain MBTI or Cognitive Funtion types or something because whaaaat? 5 N-F friends is crazy! No because if they try to confront me, theyre the ones who'll run away first and cry? Like, what? LMFAO! Thats why i said, Emmy's understandably weird, and cute. Very compassionate, helpful, sincere, and kind too. Similar to my healthy N-F-J friends. Oh, and they're very persuasive, bossy and moody alright. When theyre happy, everyone's happy, when theyre sad, oof the whole room can feel that. Whew! Only, idgaf, i wasnt always affected by that. Wow, maybe their type is just like that in general, huh? Now i'm interested to know what people of their type think of me ngl. What about you KO, can you relate to Emmy or any DN characters in any way? Idk if you've disclosed this before, and if you don't mind me asking, what's your MBTI type?

Another interesting thought, as an INTJ, reading about a possible INFJ, Emory, her pov actually didnt make me feel like she put me through a wringer as much, but then maybe because i'm also almost similar to her? Intense, thats what we are. And very unyielding. Our perceiving functions, Ni and Se are the same, but our deciding functions that decide the way we make decisions are very different, hers being Fe and Ti, while mine being Te and Fi, hence why i can understand the things that she went through, i just cant relate to her actions in general, but still find her caharcter fascinating and amusing to read about. And my friends in life are also pretty intense and the insightful type? So Idk, i get this a lot so maybe because it's our kind of normal, thats why nightfall was quite a breeze read to me. I knew of people who read nightfall and cried themselves to tears, but icant lie, i never experienced that. Onky through booktok and booktwt that i knew how many of them reacted very strongly to this book. Interesting! This made me wonder, what were the readers of nightfall's cognitive functions or MBTIs' to be having them reacting the way they reacted with the text.

When readers say they felt then cried so much for Emmy, i was shocked, and even more shock when they said they felt more sorry for will, because i wasnt sorry for him, almost, at ALL. Sure, i can see what emmy went through, but i don't have that strong emorions as others, my reactions were pretty similar to Emmy, especially when she doesnt look like she was feeling much even though her brain and heart was processing or going through a lot? Again, Similar, yet so different. Other than that, I thought what happened to Will was less sympathetic or empathetic to me because they are usually, 1. Consequences of his own bad decisions, and 2. Because he chose the wrong crowd to be around. It always lead back to him at some point, but he never seem to acknowledge that until noghtfall. But then that was the reason he liked emmy so much, and it couldnt be anyone else. Idk, if i was Will, no matter what background or how privileged i have or was, cognitively, i dont think i would ever feel as comfortable as him to be putting blame on everyone and everything about my life without admitting my wrongs.

but then my INTJ type is also known for that; Being Accountable and responsible for my own stuff, but i do lack sensitivity when it comes to things like this, so maybe that's why i never bought Will's bullshit, because what he said he did didnt match up with what he actually did. I'm sure his brothers grew up happy too, but they were never labelled as coddled or spoiled or irresponsible so there's only so mich of wealth and privilege that he can hide behind before it shows his true personality that he needed to fix. even though i can understand where he came from, i still dont agree with will most of the time. In fact, i dont like flaky people like him irl. Maybe thats why his character annoys me very much. Maybe my opinion is also an outlier because my personality type is not even a common type, hence my opnion can be unpopular. So many maybes! I said unpopular because As much as there's a lot of criticism about Will or even damon on your account KO (and even booktwt), we're actually the outlier, we're probably the only group who thought this way, because if you check goodreads and storygraph, there were more criticisms of Emmy than Will, and even Damon 🫠

I heard when Nightfall was released, so many people were against Emmy in PD's FB group and goodreads, and they wished Will ended up with Alex, and at first i thought it was joke, but when i filter through Goodreads reviews to the oldest, wow, it's really true! And i was not only shocked, but was sad about it because she's my favourite FMC in the whole series! I noticed that Emmy had only been slowly gaining fans a year after her character was published, and after she got promoted positively on social media by other Emory fans and promotion of fan edits on booktok. This might be the first time i feel like social media did my fav char justice, LOL! i wished i was there in 2020-2021 PD's FB group so i can see all nightfall criticims unfold LIVE myself. So when PD said that maybe their fans (possibly they made a conclusion based on the response in their FB group) didnt like when they wrote characters like Emmy or Aro, i believe them because we're actually in the minorities unfortunately. Not pnly in minorities, it took time for the emory fans before us to put the work for others to hear about how amazing she was. And Sure, the ones who like emmy are very loud now, but if we do a poll, Winter and Rika then and even now are still in the #1 and #2 spots everywhere. Side note, Even stans on twitter believe that Will's only fault was he loved too much... like bad Will in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch didnt exist? idk, i thought this opinion of theirs on him was dumb, because it dismiss his characterisation of being more accountable and responsible in his present and future, as compared to his embarrasing past mistakes, but hey, it's a fan space, anybody can think whatever they want. I just dont have to agree and engage with them.

anyway, coming back to me saying reading nightfall felt like a breeze, when all that shit happened in blackchurch, in the train and even afterwords, my face and feeling was like 😠😕😟😶🥰😶😶😶❓❔ not 🤢🤮🥰😘😍🥺😢😫😖😣🤯🤬😡😰😱😨🫣😓🤥🫠🫨🥱😪🤤😵😵‍💫🤐🤮🤢🥴😷🤒🤠👹👹👹💩💩🤡☠️ you know what i mean. My feelings were pretty tame actually. I guess i did feel a lot and intensely, but not as variant and reactively like other readers? Because i feel that was how my reaction was vs others. And i think i'm pretty level-headed too, because a lot of things that people hate or were mad about nightfall (and theyre valid things to be mad about), i'm mostly indifferent about them. To me, the past is the past, and even though there are some things i wished were not there in nightfall, ultimately, idgaf anymore, and the greater good is more important. People evolve, and because of emmy, she made me ship will with her, and my willemmy shipper heart would always root for their happiness and what they want, even though i believe will needed some kicks in his ass still. But if he said he would improve and if emmy already believed that he will be on that path, and that path is the best for them, i'm chill.

And even if i did have a strong opinion before, i just believe what i want to believe now and have fun with the books and the fandom. Even if i dont participate, i like to observe fans interactions. The only thing that made me angry recently are usually PDs rsponse to the fandom, epecially to willemmy. I might have gone through some thinking about them too, but ultimately, my experience is my space, so, i either dgaf or care enough to respond to them or i'll ponder but then move on pretty quickly after. My stance made me feel like the experience of watching the interactions of this fandom so interesting because you all are such passionate people, and it reminds me of why i love being in a fandom and being a fan of literature. Might be because i'm an INTJ. I dont believe in MBTI and Cogn Fxs to a T but i can see even clearly now how it shaped how i consume and react to literature and what i like and dislike about them. Pretty fun and insightful! Ugghhh! I love discussions, so thank you KO for mobilising it here 😊 Thank you too for your fanfics that you wrote during your free time, and other things you came up with to make the fandom experience more fun and discursive here!

Hey!!

I looked through the mbti type links you posted and omfg, emmy is really most likely to be INFJ

I’m so happy at least one person checked them out and that I’m not completely off about Emmy. The most confusing thing for me going through the characters was that Kai and Emmy both came out as INFJs. Obviously every individual is going to present differently, and I do think both are different levels of unhealthy, but it still gave me a lot of pause. I might have to revisit Kai eventually (or hope someone who has read more on him and understand better will do it for me…).

i can understand where she came from, but her actions, words and thoughts are always so?? 🤣🫣 But not in a i-disagree-and-hate-this-character way but in a, ok-youre-kinda-relatable-but-why-did-you-choose-decision-a-instead-of-b-thats-not-rational

Same. I loved her character from the start, but it took me a few read throughs, and seeing thoughts from others, to see the different layers of her character, and even wrap my head around some of her decisions. There are, of course, some things I will never understand or agree with from Emory, but I’m not expected to, so it’s no big deal.

Ngl, i wished she bullied Will more so that she can actually lived up to his pointy-finger claims and allegations

I think I would have loved some more banter from them in the present; something that wasn’t layered in years of misunderstanding and secrets, that showed how they’re going to be together once all that is resolved. The little bit in the epilogue was a small sample, but I wanted a feast. But one of my main headcanons for Willemmy is that he cannot let his guard down around her, because the second she catches him slipping, there’s no holding back. What, did he think she was going to be nice just because he put a ring on it? Boy has to be ready for any verbal, sparing because she’s always ready to call him out on his bs.

What about you KO, can you relate to Emmy or any DN characters in any way? Idk if you've disclosed this before, and if you don't mind me asking, what's your MBTI type?

Your friend group sounds really cute! In some ways, I can relate to Emory. I feel like we’re both people watchers/observers. I can sit for hours and watch people just live, or even when I’m out with my friends, after a while, I’ll sit back and just watch and listen, with not much to say. It’s not that I’m not interested in what’s going on, I just like…observing. The difference might be that I’m content doing that because I’m charmed by the life happening around me, while Emmy sometimes felt like she was missing out, and left on the outside looking in. Either way, we've both got some fly-on-the-wall tendancies.

At the same time, both Emmy and I get lost in our own thoughts and ideas. When I was searching for Emmy’s MBTI and read the first line for INFJ, for some reason Emmy during homecoming night came to mind; when her and Will are on the ride, and she has the idea for a tree of chandeliers. She’s got one night of freedom with a boy who she really likes and who really, really likes her…and she can’t help but think about future projects. Because that’s how inspiration works when you’re a creative person. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, when it strikes, it consumes every thought. I can relate on that level. I felt so very seen in that scene. And I was especially swoony when she turned to tell Will her idea, and he was already looking at her, completely captivated by the look of wonderment and excitement at her idea that I imagine was on her face. That’s the dream. And it influences my willemmy greatly, because it tells me no matter what, Will is always going to support and be in awe of Emmy when she’s creating. Now that she’s got all the freedom to do that, it’s going to be a constant thing.

I believe I may have mentioned my MBTI type in the first MBTI post, but if I didn’t, I’m an INFP. However, all of my biggest influences in life have been TJs, so that does affect the way I go about doing things.

i just cant relate to her actions in general, but still find her caharcter fascinating and amusing to read about.

I mean… I wouldn’t make the same decisions as any of these characters. They and the situation they find themselves in are so over the top. That being said, even from a writer’s perspective, I would have taken the story and characters in different directions than PD. That might be one of the reasons I can’t bring myself to completely close the book on this, though. It’s so very different from what I would do, and sometimes it’s nice to be completely taken off the course you would naturally choose.

I knew of people who read nightfall and cried themselves to tears, but icant lie, i never experienced that. Onky through booktok and booktwt that i knew how many of them reacted very strongly to this book.

I get curious about people who had strong reactions as well. I assume it’s the moments of Emory’s abuse, but not to seem callous, they seemed very typical to me. I wasn’t ever overwhelmed with emotions reading any of the books. It’s not that I didn’t feel bad for what the characters were going through, because I did. I just… never needed to put the book down and process like I have with others.

i was Will, no matter what background or how privileged i have or was, cognitively, i dont think i would ever feel as comfortable as him to be putting blame on everyone and everything about my life without admitting my wrongs.

Will’s lack of accountability is definitely one of his main flaws throughout the series. It contrasts Kai’s crushing guilt over everything so well though. And I understand fully how people don’t feel sympathy for Will’s situation. He got himself there on his own. Even though Emmy signed that letter, he was long out of prison with a life set up for him that he nearly threw away just because he couldn’t not be Sad Boi #2 (of course, Damon gets first place because what else would we expect).

However, I loved high school Will and despite all common sense, will still feel for what happened to him, and those feelings have influenced my opinions on his story greatly. What can you do?

but i do lack sensitivity when it comes to things like this, so maybe that's why i never bought Will's bullshit, because what he said he did didnt match up with what he actually did. I'm sure his brothers grew up happy too, but they were never labelled as coddled or spoiled or irresponsible so there's only so mich of wealth and privilege that he can hide behind before it shows his true personality that he needed to fix.

It’s interesting that you bring up his brothers, because for me a big part of this series is that there’s something about this group people that doesn’t fit in with society as a whole, and that’s why they’re drawn together. The series speaks of the boys “finding” each other, as if they were searching for something they didn’t know they needed. I think Kai represents this the most because he tried so hard to hide it for so long. He also struggles with “its” existence, not because he doesn’t like it, but because he knows his parents won’t, and out of everyone, he respects them the most.

Anyway, all this is to say, Will’s brothers most likely don’t think or act like him. They don't hear the call of the void like he does. Unless my feelings about Thunder Bay are true, and there’s something in the water.

And while you may not be sensitive to some things, Will is, and it’s one of his main traits. Being sensitive also puts you at risk for getting hurt, which Will does frequently. Get hurt, I mean. But he still makes himself vulnerable, because that’s who he is. I think Will is aware that at some point, he can’t hide behind his privilege anymore. One of the reasons he went to Blackchurch – which was his idea from the start – was to put in the work where he’d only coasted before. Still, the whole thing was a mess after Emmy got there.

Maybe thats why his character annoys me very much. Maybe my opinion is also an outlier

Maybe out of the whole fandom, your opinion might be considered unpopular, but for those here, I think you’re right at home. More than a few have expressed the same thoughts. And isn’t that the point of fandom – to find people who will tolerate your wonky and out of the box opinions without trying to shame you?

Even though I sometimes act as though Will’s just a smol bean who never did anything wrong, I know he’s a highly flawed character with huge logical fallacies that annoy me to no end. Fangirling is a spectrum that I ride like a roller coaster.

As much as there's a lot of criticism about Will or even damon on your account KO (and even booktwt), we're actually the outlier, we're probably the only group who thought this way, because if you check goodreads and storygraph, there were more criticisms of Emmy than Will, and even Damon

I could not believe how much criticism was thrown at Emmy when I first read NF! And all of it because she was mean to Will? He was so nice blah, blah, blah, how could she not love him? Wah, wah, wah,

Helllllo? Did you not see what she was going through?

Did you not see the nine-year gap between them seeing each other; a gap neither did anything to close?

I just couldn’t process any of the Emory hatred. I’m better now. I don’t get it by any means. Let her be defensive; she’s earned her claws and fangs and anger. That’s for Will and Emmy to work out. He doesn’t need you, the reader, coming to his defenses. He still loves her because she’s so difficult -

*deep breath* But I’m better now. I was not at all surprised by how many people loved Will and Damon. And we all know why.

I saw the goodreads reviews, and thought I was going to be in the minority of Emmy lovers (hence my bio). But I’ve also heard the opposite – that there were a lot of people who hated it because PD included so much of Alex and not enough of Emmy. I think it’s probably split evenly. And then PD says it’s the fandom’s fault of putting the girls at odds with each other. Please just admit the story could have been written differently to avoid this, and we’ll all go home, I swear. PD doesn’t even have to say they would do it differently. I’ll be fine if they just admit that it’s not our fault there’s an Alex camp and an Emory camp, the two can’t cross enemy lines.

if we do a poll, Winter and Rika then and even now are still in the #1 and #2 spots everywhere.

This is so funny because while I believe it’s true, but any time I do a poll here, Emmy is always the winner/in the winning group. It’s especially true when I was playing the voting game. It didn’t seem to matter what group Emmy was in, that’s the one people wanted to be in.

Even stans on twitter believe that Will's only fault was he loved too much... like bad Will in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch didnt exist? idk, i thought this opinion of theirs on him was dumb, because it dismiss his characterisation of being more accountable and responsible in his present and future

Very true. If Will accepts that he made mistakes that were not just “I loved her too much” then…that’s what happened?

He messed up. He’s not a perfect and wholly good, sweet little angel boy that did not wrong but care too much. It’s okay to admit that he was immature and careless and blinded by privilege and pride (I’m not going to touch on the criminal things because as readers, we’re supposed to find those things cool and hot, so…).

It's okay to admit that his character changed! That’s what a character is supposed to do.

it's a fan space, anybody can think whatever they want. I just dont have to agree and engage with them.

Honestly, the best fandom rule you can have for yourself. I highly recommend it. And thank you for saying it.

a lot of things that people hate or were mad about nightfall (and theyre valid things to be mad about), i'm mostly indifferent about them. To me, the past is the past, and even though there are some things i wished were not there in nightfall, ultimately, idgaf anymore, and the greater good is more important. People evolve, and because of emmy, she made me ship will with her, and my willemmy shipper heart would always root for their happiness and what they want, even though i believe will needed some kicks in his ass still. But if he said he would improve and if emmy already believed that he will be on that path, and that path is the best for them, i'm chill.

Just... this whole paragraph. I was mad about the lack of Emmy when I finished NF. And I have my moments now, of course, when I’m thinking about something specific and putting pieces together that I might get upset about a realization or something. Realizing a character did something out of line, or seeing yet another plot hole…

But this has never ruined my day. I’ve never been unable to move on or talk about something else with my friends. It’s just interesting to me.

Anyway, willemmy will always be happy to me. That’s just how it is. We can go back and forth over whether Will "deserves" it but I just don't really care if he "deserves" it or not. I'm happier this way.

i just believe what i want to believe now and have fun with the books and the fandom. Even if i dont participate, i like to observe fans interactions... because you all are such passionate people, and it reminds me of why i love being in a fandom and being a fan of literature.

This is it! This is the reason being in fandom is so interesting. It’s a hobby, and it should just be a fun time to sit and chat about things that don’t really matter with people who also like the same things. I mean, I know hobbies have different levels of intensity, but this really should just be chill.

I also think of MBTI as more of a party game than anything else. It’s fun to sit around and ask those questions and discuss your results. It doesn’t really mean anything more than that.

I love discussions, so thank you KO for mobilising it here 😊 Thank you too for your fanfics that you wrote during your free time, and other things you came up with to make the fandom experience more fun and discursive here!

You’re so very welcome! But a bigger thank you goes to you and everyone else who has ever submitted an ask or message. Honestly, this blog would be nothing without them.

-KO

#asked and answered 286 #asked and answered #reply to prev ask #asked and answered 285 #devil's night series #series discussion #will grayson #emory scott #willemmy

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squeiky · 1 year ago

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love researching and gather evidence and supporting claims and shit but damn.....

I know I usually talk looney and silly like but damn.. stuff hits hard.

I don't know why I am writing this. It feels stupid, but I'll get it out.

was looking through sonic wiki, and wanted to make sure I was characterizing ( and mixing ) gerald robotnik right and to the best of my ability.

I know I've never gotten through any sonic games before, but to think that my first (or second?) sonic game was Sonic advanced and...

(This feels so stupid to write. but I'm writing it because I must.)

maybe its cause its 12:23 am and my emotional regulation is out of wack. I just... Gerald robotnik man... I wish I could give that guy a hug. or something. ANYTHING. the- "bring hope to humanity" the fucking- god I haven't cried in ages like this i don't even know.

the journals the- he was just a GUY okay?! who wanted to make people happy in the best way he could just like- and now the world is without him and then theresnmariaandain fukdignhionoie;h/ndl

..I think I mangaged- no still cfrying okay

okay I stopped crying you'll bever guess the timefram between these two lines haha. Im pretty sure the more I type the more icant fuckingsee-

god it's just the fuckng lines.

I really wish I could give these two a.. just a big fucking hug. a really long one. like a really really long one and I don't even know if I'll cry idk man you just youlook at everyday and then I dont know i dont i dont i dont

It feels stupidf but I just... he used her last words as the key-and its jusrc how justc you fdtydhhhhhhh .and now i have to live with the fuxking fact that hes just DEAD? THAT THEYRE BOTH DEAD?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?! WHAT THE FUFCK!?! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!?!?

I swear theres something wrong with me. I see tradegy all the time. I'm so used to edgy backstories and disturbing shit that I basically am unfazed or joking about it but godsamn you guys- IDK you probably all understand who ever you are in the world but we all gotta be real good ro eachother all right? because everyday Is really FUCKING HARD and I keep trying to tell peopl I love them and I want to scream it out into the world SO SO FUCKING BADLY and this is just one of those fucking fehukwekbj.fase AAAAAA

I want to hug them and say everything is going to be okay- and I don't even know if its for them or for ME but I swear man. everytime I see those cute and cool and amzing peices of artwork or maria and shadow and the arc I just- I have to stop and stare for minutes or however long I decide to just stare and god just staring at it makes me feel shit man.

why is it so hard to love. who gives you such a big heart and tells you to harden it man. who does that shit who fucking did that to me who fucking did that yo.

It was just a few lines on the wiki too..

it was so easy just to chalk him up to every other "crazy or evil scientist" man and call it a day it was SO EASY.

the fucking " bring happiness throguh science" and I just fuck fucmkk fiyckjng fucjfuckfuckfcufcjfvckfvjycfutdtyjkdtychgm

its 12:42 AM I don't know if its the tiredness or whatever but Idk. Im posting this because I wan to keep telling people to love y'know? not in the romantic sense either- but to just.... look around and just tell everybody "I'm glad your alive" beacuse I FUCKIGN AM and somebody out there wrote this shit and now I'm here in my fucking pajamas crying ugly for the first time in way too long and geezus.

its just. I WANT THEM BACK. GIVE thEM BACK.

it was to make people happy... yknow??..>>>

like give them back..bring them back.

I can't;... fucking forgive that man....

and then to hear how the other scientists treated the Gizoid and well... god I don't know how I'm going to write Gerald without weeping anymore like BRIGN HIM BACk BRING THEM BOTH BACK I WANT THEM BACK. but the're not coming back cause they're DEAD

and i feel like a puppy experincing no treats for the first time in my life despite the fact I've gone through this before its just-

it meant alot man. there was love it that and it fuckign broke me man it shattered me. I dont even know why

I dont even know WHY im crying I just am and goddamit its gfucking guly crying man-

I keep- and let me tell you my only true memory of Gerald that isn't just wiped out is that archie comic panel where he's talking to shadow in some white void or something- and I just.. and I think about it so much now everytime I think of Gerald- and then Maria's last words god fucking dammit they didnt deserve any of that why why'd that have to occcur why am i FUCKIGNC RYINGI DONT KNWO?!?1??

There was just kindness in that, i can't even- ts got to be the nghttime and part of me wants to post this don't care what happens to this post because it'll be locked away in ths internet world forever and one day I'll forget it ever existed in the first place untill someone reminds me and I'll remember if I ever loose myself that I cried over the words and words ALONE of a old scientist guy who was just trying to save his grandaughter and make a bunch of people happy and- the gziodddd..... that was my first fucking game and i never got to see it... cause I raged quit and only played the first section of the first level before quitting....it was either that or like the one where creams mom gets captured idk i never finished it.

i fucking suck at sonic games haha

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thedevilliers · 4 years ago

Note

Never be so kind, you forget to be clever

Never be so clever, you forget to be kind

—

Never be so polite, you forget your power

Never wield such power, you forget to be polite

And if I didn't know better

I'd think you were listening to me now

—

The autumn chill that wakes me up

You loved the amber skies so much

Long limbs and frozen swims

You'd always go past where our feet could touch

I should've asked you questions

I should've asked you how to be

Asked you to write it down for me

Should've kept every grocery store receipt

'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

Watched as you signed your name Marjorie

All your closets of backlogged dreams

And how you left them all to me

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, you're alive in my head

I know better

But I still feel you all around

I know better

But you're still around

anon are u serenading me 😳😳😳 bc if u ARE THIS IS NOT THE SONG TO SERENADE ME WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it makes me sad 😔 reminds me of [redacted] too much 😔

#yes U GUESSED !!!!!!!!! still im sad now 😔#STOPPP icant even look t the lyrics without wantin 2 cry about MY PIXEL #ask #Anonymous #long post #JUST in case. no one yell at me

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bangtanger · 4 years ago

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CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol 1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀ a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀ a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀ a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL

❀ some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

#m:text #tg

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onisrn · 7 years ago

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Right so im aboutta rant and maybe just write out possibly all my thoughts here from the past week okay cue:

So lets start from where i amn right now. Im in self care mood: Ive got the salt lamp and my bedside lamp on, my pink faiyrlights on, my scented Yankjee candle lighted, a mug of milky mint hot chocolate next to the laptop, my room smells of vanilla because i put on that air freshener thing (the one that you plug in), Ive got sami yusuf playing (Inna fil jannati). The reason for my self-care-y-ness: i was feeling real bad about the past and how i let certain people just idk you know what im on about see the last post (mahena).

So thats what was bothering me when i came home. My friends whjo i told (komal and zaynab reza) were so incredibly nice to me and i miss them so much (zbr is in isloo but yk still) and i wish we met each day lijke we used to and i wish i valued them more and i wish i valued the people who care about me and not fiocus on the bad stuff from yuears ago so much. anyway im good nbow. inshallah.

honestly man teenagers do not get enough credit for the stuff we go through. like not me per se i guess i bgvecame kinda strong after olevels and decided to get my priorities right and stuff and majorly that was because of my religiousd family. but what about the other people my age? like just all the hoprmones and the mood swings that are not your fault. and the crushes (wqait for it. next to next para) and the just trying to figure out who you are and stru8ggling eith confidence and choosing what you want to do in life and friends and all that drama asnd insecurities and man just growing up. and then theres the added like boyfriends and what not who dont have religion or who are in families where its fine or whatever. like mahena hgerself must be going through/havwe gone through quite some ish like boyfriend and friends and rama and boys that like you zand dealing with them and all that crtap and peer pressure and its so much harder to not do gunahs depending on who you hang out with and the studoes are so difficukt and stressful and the responsibiulities and it’s not fun being too young for some thingsd and too old for some ugh teenagers deserve more credit man. but evrrything becomes a hundred thousand times better when i knowe that i hgave allah and the imams and the prophet and quran. but what about those who dont have that connection with allah and they dont know to develop it? im blessed that im from a religious family and i was fortunate enough top get my priorities kinda right but wehat about the poeople who dont have relihgion or allah? i honestlyt dont understand how pople can function or survive e=ven a second without having that “there is something greater than this” feeling. I feel so bad for people my age i love thjem so much theyre so dstrong ❤ (ok i dont love them i hate ppl my age but yk we dont get credit asnd we go tyhrough some ish that we just need to get through ourselves in most cases opr take advice from friends our age whop also dont reaslly know what theyre on about)

honestkly man i feel like if someone needs a soulmate at any age its when youre a teenager. youre just going through so much and all alone. sometimes you just need someone wholl loisten to y7ou and give you advice and who you know wont judge you and who your insecurities shut up with. Like yeah i know youre too young to be married in all senses and have kids etc etc and ypouire not mature enough to choose who you sopend the rest of your life with but like, skipping all that if you find the person somehow and tehyre perfect for u etc etc then it would just be so cool to have someone at this age idk i feel. anyway this got weird **I dont want to get married right now disclaimer disclaimer**

ok on a totally unrelated topiuc theres this guy in both business and econ and i really dont want to talk about it or itllk drill it in more gut yeah theres really nothing to tell. theres this guy in biz and econ whos kinda cute not hot like cute in a cute lil boy way its quite endearing but yeah you guessed it i maybe kinda like idk idek why

you know what? since we came back from iran sometimes I’ll be in class (business. it’s boring and the last class so i be tired) so while im in class sometimes ill start crying (not all out, like no one sees me (I hope)) because i just want be there sdo bad. first ot was iran, qom, but now i want to go to karbala so badly i just die to go there ive never wanted to be there so bad away from this worldy life i want to go to the land thats a piece of jannah i want to be away from this worldy fickle life i want to be close to my imams i dont mind if its karbala or even iran or umrah i have a poster of imam husayn’s haram in my room and i look at it and cry and i have the Karbala chgannel thing on snapchat and they keep posting snaps where theres just standing in the middle of baynul haramayn and the dome in front and people walking by and i want to be there so bad my heart breaks and yearsn to be there but icant go there at least till june because the cruel CIE people kept one last small 1 hpour MCQs exam way in June so that my exams are just hanging in the air not dfinished until that dratted paper and im stuck here anyway probably for the better buyt i want to be there so bad i cant express it

today i was reading in mikyal what it will be like when the imam comes and he will call out to the people in th emiddle opf the night and theyll be in worship or asleep and theyll hear him and will all reach Makkah and i want that so bad but im scared what if i falter at the last minute what if im not strong enough what if i lose sight of the ultimate goal that is Allah what is my own worldly desires cloud my vision what if I’m not strong enough Im so scaswred fopr that time man all my sins will cpount against me i so scared i wont be on my side im so scared ill falter at the last minute or pride of my deeds will cloud up my vision or make everyuthing worthless im so scared what if i falter

#anyway idk if ive been thinking anything else in the past week #gonna go to sleep now #i started writing thisd at like midnight #thursday #25th jan #12:44am

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