#im talking into the void again

[beaversatemygrandma]

I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy after being on the phone for three whole hours. Holy shit. Originally, it was to play pokemon together so i had my headphones on for hands for the game and eventually it just turned into me doing laundry and talking about random shit. I mean, between my sister deciding to throw a deflated rotting pumpkin into the yard (which held up shockingly. It got pancaked though.) and me yelling at that infinite dryer buzzer all while on call. I’ve had so many doubts about getting with this guy simply because of the whole weird memory I have of him from high school, but genuinely, I’m getting really cozy with this idea. 

The thing is, i texted the FWB today to wish her a happy birthday, and i didn’t get a reply which is just a shame. I mean, she’s probably having fun, so can’t blame her really. But i have got to mention the fact that I’m abandoning the idea of getting into her polycule. Like, yeah, it would’ve been nice, and that week i stayed with her was great and felt like a real thing, but I’m 90% sure that’s because we were both Incredibly Touch Starved after isolation. Like, I’m still at that point, but I haven’t felt like I wanted to long distance fuck around with her anytime recently. I do want to mention this. I’ve reconnected with somebody and I Really Think it’s going to work out for the better.

Agh.

But back to that whole thing. Just listening to him go on about something was nice. I didn’t think I’d like his voice, but i like his voice. It’s not the same as it was back when we used to talk, but there’s still that soft pitch to it that is, just now deeper and a whole lot easier to listen to. I’d let him talk my ear off for longer if there was time. I remember reading once “you know you’re in deep when you fall for their voice” and yeah. Yeah, you do. Hell, the other night we got into another one of those more personal convos and something in me was like “yeah, I’d date him long term.” and i just went into this thing and drew an exact boundary that won’t freak me out which honestly allows so much more openness. Doesn’t stop him from replacing the L word with care though, but i can live with that and honestly, i really like that. Hm. I shouldn’t have looked away from the nerdy guy who was always tailing behind me back then. I mean, we started onto this thing about something in 10th grade and he just went “HANG ON.” and whipped out this half-finished yearbook he had from that year because he was on the yearbook team. Halfway through he just showed me the pic he had in there saying something about how pissed he looked, and I agreed. But also I just start wondering why i didn’t find him attractive back then. He was cute. Ngl. He’s cute. I mean, yeah, i was usually dating somebody back then, but this would’ve been nice. So much nicer than the 10th grade ex. But really. Why wasn’t I attracted to him then, but I am now? Like, we’re talking the sweetest damn guy, 6 foot, he’s got this cute, soft face and I’m just ???? I could’ve dodged so many bullets with this one.

Maybe it’s just the new outlook. Like how back then something in me was like “I’m totally not one of these dweebs.” and how I’d go out of my way to talk to the worst possible people i could spend time with. People i met outside of school. The ones who dropped out. The ones who’d lead me into oddly dangerous spots and weird situations. I just used to like how chill and calm the ‘stoners’ were back then. They accepted everybody. They were kind. Until you looked under the surface and realized just how much trouble you get into around them. Welp, i learned my lesson there. The hard way. Maybe I should’ve listened when i heard that one had a police record at 16. And here i am suddenly wanting to be surrounded by my old group of nerdy friends where the worst situations we’d get into involved wandering out into the woods and reenacting scenes from our favorite books in places we totally shouldn’t have been.  But sadly everybody is scattered across the state at different colleges with different lives. One came out as gay and ghosted the rest of us (hell, he was the one who nearly lit my backyard on fire anyways. What’s weirder is all of us came out as queer a year prior.), another ended up in a huge city with new people and new jobs and just a new life, another manages a whole restaurant (props to him, that’s a feat), and then there’s me and this guy who just kind of fell into this slump and likely are going to be stuck in the old hometown for a while. 

Huh. Either way I think I’m going to be happy in this one. It’s not everyday i find somebody who can talk their way past my walls so easily and make me feel so safe. You know, tomorrow is new year’s. He’s not doing anything, and I’m likely going to have a couple beers. I might flirt a little harder tbh. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself being this far out, but my god, do i want to open this up Just A Little More. If i’ve got him down there saying that he cares so much about me and just wants me to be happy, well by god, I’m going to make him happy too.

Ha. I also threatened to get him to watch some horror movies together. Gonna do that at some point, definitely cuddle the hell out of him, and likely scar him for life with some freaky ass movie. Perfect date night tbh. And I didn’t even frame it as a date night. But that’s literally my plan.

[okaykois]

i played re4 for the plot only

[pastebunny]

114 was so fucking bonkers. what the hell man

[ganondoodle]

riot making arcane the main canon is honestly the stupidest and most unnecessary move, its taken alot of enjoyment from the show for me bc now instead of seeing it as a really well made fanfiction that i can just sit back and enjoy the reinterpretations of without worry i keep thinking how whatever they do is gonna fuck with canon and how much is retconned bc of it

they didnt even finish the other, waht 10 year old now?, retcon and now they are doing it again?? what for?? literally nothing is gained from forcing it all into arcanes interpretation- even if they want to bring more characters the show made up into the game you can do that without having to make the show the center of everything; i might have stopped playign the game but i still care about some of the characters and stories, the lore and worldbuilding is what i enjoyed most of any league stuff, all of which is now on thin ice (granted, it has been since they started to fire their writers, but now even the work they did might not even stay), it hurts to see things you loved being thrown into the garbage for no reason, whatever time i spent thinking and caring about it essentially wasted, deemed that what i cared about didnt matter at all (hhhh similarly so with totk, what is it with these things happening to the few things i ever liked ......)

[starii-void]

something about mei and mk being ‘the hero and the warrior’ except they’re more based

theres been a few instances of mei being upset about not being able to spend as much time with MK (the one i remember more vividly was her in s5 wanting to go on a ‘classic MK and Mei adventure!’ but im p sure there was an instance in s4 too that i cant recall) which lead to some thoughts

ive seen a lot of stuff about them and how mei might end up like macaque, bitter and abandoned by MK, like wukong did. but i just feel like it isnt true. so this is my future theory:

there’d be a build up of more instances like this. mei wants to do stuff with MK, but he prioritizes his hero training/duties. each time, she’s shown subtly being more and more upset until one day she snaps. she confronts him and is visibly upset, yelling at him.

but then, instead of snapping back (like Wukong did) he apologizes. maybe it can parallel the first fight they had in season 1 during the race somehow?

in the end, the two do what Wukong and Macaque couldnt, and make up. MK owns up to his mistake and they both get better. they have their own little adventures together, or something like that

and like that, it shows how they’re different from the Hero and the Warrior. it shows how Wukong and Macaque couldve turned out if theyd just put down their pride and communicated. it shows what they couldve been.

basically i just think they wouldnt turn out like macaque and wukong. ive seen a lot of people theorize that but they arent emotionally constipated enough for that to happen, plus we’ve seen them argue and make up on screen already.

also i think itd just make for some cool opportunities for art and visual parallels

[sevikasenby]

sevika making you wear a remote controlled vibrator so she can fuck with you while she plays cards this. sevika making you wear a remote controlled vibrator so she can fuck with you while she plays cards that. okay hear me out, sevika making you wear a wearable remote controlled dildo so she can actually fuck with you while she plays cards. thoughts?

[dustykneed]

Hello! Random whipper snipper! Share a WIP of your work!

ooh, with pleasure. six the musical araleyn fanart? in the year 2k24? more likely than you think xDD

i realize this looks finished, but technically i'm still deciding whether to add a background or not lol. still, for the sake of sharing a proper WIP, here's a line or two from an araleyn brainworm WIP that i started reworking yesterday (mild tw for religious guilt and period-typical internalized homophobia from aragon's pov):

She remembers sharing her bed with Anne at Henry's behest, remembers the nights of tossing and turning and trying not to think about Anne asleep next to her-- remembers waking up to dark hair spilling across her pillow and the press of blood-warm bosoms against her own, softer than sin, as hot as the Devil, remembers lying still as death, mouthing prayers into the heat of Anne's neck like an act of penance.

[srapsodia]

woah!! hi!! that's a lot of you in a very short time!! thank you all for liking my drawings enough to stick around! :>

[ye-olde-eboy]

Fuck it. Aroaces your Docm77.

[junos-cacophony]

the problem with me using they/them pronouns is that whenever i say my pronouns are he/they/it , people will only use they/them . like no i want you to use my pronouns interchangeably

like when i told my friend i use he/they/it she proceeded to tell her friend that i used only they/them . like no thats not it . and when i asked why, she said "cause its the easiest to remember 🥺🥺🥺" like . no thats . i make it explicit i use HE/IT TOO. and that i want to use he/they/it all interchangeably. like aiuahydujsghjfds

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[ontosgold]

hi! first off i wanted to say that i love your art so much its so so pretty and secondly i was wondering, since youre like the ceo of ryomina, if you had any good ryomina fanfic recommendations ? :>

THANK YOU :D !! and hehe thank u for giving me the chance to ramble abt the two ryomina fics that have been consuming my brain lately (that are both written by my lovely fellow ryomina ceos <3)

first off !! the twilight wants him back by @chatlote

it's a canon divergent fix-it fic that takes place from november onwards featuring sees ryoji :> I think my favourite thing abt this fic is the way lina characterises both ryoji and makoto, like I genuinely adore how she writes them in this fic. both of their inner worlds feel so rich and detailed and i adore how the pov switches give us a look into makoto and ryoji's different outlooks !! seeing makoto and ryoji's different perspectives on the same events is so interesting and it adds so much depth of their interactions. it's been such a joy so far to watch those two slowly get to know each other while also exploring how makoto's dealing with everything he's experienced up until then (the way she shows how makoto's been dealing with loss is so. augh <3) and I'm so excited to see where this fic is headed ^_^ every update has me kicking my feet in excitement hehe

and then there's persephone's curse by @sweet-sirin

this fic took me on such an emotional rollercoaster that it hasn't stopped rolling around in my brain since I read it. it takes place post canon and if u know abt persephone than u can probably take a guess as to where this fic is going. I don't wanna say too much bcs I think this fic is best experienced knowing as little abt it as possible but its just a beautiful exploration of ryoji and makoto's characters and just how stubborn they can be in their own ways, especially ryoji. there's so many scenes in this fic that are just stuck in my brain. it felt like every single scene and every piece of dialogue has some sort of underlying/second meaning and it was a ride unpacking everything as I was reading. everything feels so purposeful and meaningful its just so. augh. it emotionally destroyed me and I don't think I'll ever recover <3 it'll live in a special corner of my brain forever

Also !! I haven't really gone down the ryomina fic rabbit hole myself yet so if you or anyone reading has some fic recs of their own please send them my way !! 🙏🙏

[babygirlwolverine]

happiness is having someone comment that your writing is beautiful when you’ve been insecure to get back to writing again

[peachywontyell]

ive had this bouncing around in my head for a while, so here we are.

i am a sucker for pretty boys with kind brown eyes and jaime fits that description perfectly...so i decided to give him a lot of pining (that is definitely reciprocated), he has to be a big brave boy and confess 🫶🏾 also, this is placed before the events in the movie !

inspired by

hanging out with jaime has always been very warm, cozy, comfortable. ever since you were children when you'd spend weekends riding your bikes around the neighborhood, only to crash at one of your houses after having way too much food. it happened so frequently that it got to the point where it just was the new normal for both of your families (impromptu get togethers were very common).

the friendship you guys had only grown stronger with each year that passed and well- there were definitely feelings there that weren't strictly platonic now. you were trying your hardest to push them away though, and jaime was having the same issues...however neither of you dared to even threathen the sanctity of the bond shared by confessing. that is until one summer came along, you guys had gone to different universities, and even though you called and texted daily, summer was when you guys could actually hang out like the old days. and here you were, having gone to pick up jaime from the airport with the rest of the reyes. as he walked through the gate you let his family say their hellos first- it's safe to say he almost drowned in hugs and kisses, and when you finally got to say hello you didn't hold back with the bear hug either.

you missed him dearly, and the weird feeling of anxiety, excitement and happiness settled in your stomach as he squeezed you back and actually just fully picking you up. it made the feeling in your stomach even stronger.

"JAIME DIOS MÍO BÁJAME"

"Que no, don't wanna"

"okay so if that's how this is gonna go, cárgame bien, señor"

suddenly you guys were in your own world, talking and laughing and everyone could clearly see what was happening here. milagro was gonna have a field day with the teasing as soon as she had a chance. he ended up putting you down- but only after he carried you all the way to the car. it was embarrassing yes, but now as embarrassing as the older couple that chuckled as you walked past and talked to themselves in hushed voices about 'how sweet young love is' and how they wished they could go back in time and experience it all over again.

that got you both blushing...and made the drive back home for lunch a bit...strange. nothing really changed, you still sat together and chatted, but jaime couldn't stop thinking about what they had said. did you guys actually look like a couple? should he had said something to them? the fact that he didn't mind if they thought so made him feel warm and fuzzy.

two weeks pass, and while you've somehow managed to push away those fuzzy feelings, things have definitely flipped for jaime- and milagro did not help one bit. she woke up much earlier than he did, you did too, and it usually meant that as soon as he walked out into the kitchen he'd see you just having breakfast.

"buenas morning" you say, trying not to laugh cause his hair looked bonkers, but even if you found it hilarious, it was still endearing, and the fuzzy feelings you had to fight every single day before meeting him were back and they were looking for vengeance. and when he almost put his full body weight on top of you for a hug not caring that you were in the middle of eating? well, you felt like you were going to die. "mornin...." he didn't move off. "jaime." "Hmmm?" "get off of me and go shower, tenemos que encontrarnos con el grupo in like an hour". with one last, extremely dramatic sigh, he moves off and does as told. it's not like he didn't want to spend the day with you and some of your other friends, they were his friends too, but he would much rather stay in and chill.

not even two hours later and you guys are at the little picnic area everyone agreed to meet up at, playing silly games, chatting and just catching up! and jaime just wasn't feeling it, he couldn't really pinpoint the reason why until he sees how talkative and close you are with one of the guys there. okay. that's fine. it's just a hangout, nothing is happening, you definitely aren't flirting with him. thank god someone called the guy over cause he didn't know how much he could take.

"so how'd the flirting go?" he thought he sounded casual, calm, normal. he did not sound casual, calm or normal. he sounded upset and looked like a sad dog. "what flirting- what the hell happened to you? why do you look so sad? ¿qué pasó?" "hm? nothing." he shook his head, making you squint. okay, if he didn't want to tell you, then you'd just come up with absurd reasons as to why he would be upset. "¿tas celoso?" funny how you got it right first try. you don't know that, though. "what? no- ¿qué?" he prays to god the blush creeping up his neck isn't noticeable, prays it doesn't betray him. "Ayyyyy si es eso you don't have to be, tu sabes que you're irreplaceable" you laugh and god is definitely on his side cause you're called over a few second later by someone of the order people and he can feel his heart beating so fast he fears its gonna burst through his chest.

the hangout went by smoothly, he genuinely couldn't be happier, even if at first he didn't want to be there. he has to admit, he did miss his friends, so he's glad he could spend some time with them. now you guys are laying on his bed, chismeando and just debriefing when the topic of him being "jelous" came up again. maybe he could just do it. he knew it was risky, but....he was willing to take the chance. "....you know what? maybe i was. maybe i was very jelous, maybe i still kind-of am." he felt you sitting up and all he could do was pull a pillow over his face and keep this shit rolling "you've always made me feel so comfortable and...warm, and ive always loved you, but at some point i think it turned into love...? does that make sense- no- it's fine- okay- look i just- de verdad que me gustas mucho y pues no sé- i don't wanna fuck this up aunque creo que ya lo jodí-" he huffs and sits up to face you, looking embarrassed and flustered "you're so special to me and i really don't want to mess up the friendship we have, okay? but i'd just...i'd really like to be yours."

you aren't sure if you should just kiss him or shake him by the shoulders. so you settle for taking his hand in yours, feeling your face grow warmer- if that's even possible after that confession. "jaime, look at me." that boy is holding onto the pillow for dear life, using it to still obscure his face while he shakes his head. he's trembling. you use your other hand to grab his face and look at you "please, just kiss me" "really?" "si-" and he does, like he's been starving. he almost doesn't let you pull back even though you both need to breathe. "jaime mi amor, you will always be my favorite pretty boy and im so happy i can finally tell you."

[ganondoodle]

honestly i dont know how many times i can keep trying to like and engage with things if they always end up disappointing me so badly i cant like what came before it anymore

im not trying to center this around me or something, but im having a hard time coping with arcane doing it too (to me)

few things can catch my attention and all interests in media i have ever had fumbled everything later so badly i often never want to see or think about it again

its happened with transformers (prime specifically, i think the ending of season2? i dont remember everything but after the fucking new guys show up and it killed my hyperfixation on it back in the day), one piece (stopped since whole cake island and anything new i see of it only makes it more clear i cant stand it anymore), zelda (ahah .. totk, fuck that game, basically killed my hyperfixation on the franchise and im only holding on for some projects and cool people i met through it), (edit; how could i forget fromsoft/elden ring and what the DLC did.....), arcane/league (arcane, lore retcons, and now its ending, but it happened before it turned into a hyperfixation so theres that bit of mercy lol) and those were only my super special hyperfixation ones i still clearly remember im sure im forgetting some, its happened with movies and other series i gave a try too (even mob psycho ... the series i thought couldnt disappoint me ...)

i feel so bad about it, i feel like i am somehow wrong to dislike or even hate how media goes, and bc it happens every time i feel like .. theres something wrong with me .. theres gotta be soemthing wrong with me right?.. i SWEAR i do NOT find joy in hating or disliking things, it is not fun for me, i hate hating things, especially when i once loved them, even if it may seem like there is nothing i can ever like i am NOT doign it on purpose, i feel the same, i feel like theres nothing i can ever just like, and i hate myself for it .. but also cant help it, i cant force myself to like thingsi dont either, i just want to rip my hair out and cry

[akkivee]

THE VOICE ACTING IN THE ENTIRE KUUKOU VS HITOYA CONFRONTATION GETS ME GOING EVERY TIME