#im sure you understand what im saying i say to my audience of nobody

[ech0-0nslaught]

where were you when captain cuttlefish died

the designs . . .

[clay-tries-his-best]

! atsv spoilers !

when i sat down in my theatre seat to see atsv im telling you i was being the most autistic fuck you've ever witnessed. you could practically see the sparkles in my eye, dude.

the spot. my godddd he's so silly. the marketing ploy to make him seem like the side villain from the trailers was so fucking smart. I really thought that Miguel was going to be the main villain considering him fighting miles in pracgjcalky every trailer ever and being in the post-credits scene of itsv. and miles dealing with having to be everywhere at once was very realistic and gave me the classic "oh my god this poor boy this is painful to watch". oh and gwen's beginning scene of the drums just gave me the feeling that the movie was going to be fantastic. like, betrayal, amazing visuals, more gwen?? already a wonderful start. also the fact that the spot's whole reason to turn into a major villain is that nobody, not even the person who caused his disfigurement, would take him seriously- like- HUH???? perfect. wonderful. bro just wanted miles to pay attention to him for a little while.

Pavitr and Hobie were also really great additions to the spider team. Despite the fact that Hobie's accent was so thick and deep that I couldn't understand what he was saying a good third of the time, he still managed to work his way into my top 5 characters of the movie. THAT is good character building. At first I thought he was going to be the stereotypical love rival, considering his first mention was miles getting jealous of him and gwen being friends. I was worried that was how the story was actually going to go when he upstaged miles by breaking done the collider force field, but hes actually a really chill and cool guy. pretty sure he even roots for gwen and miles, so that's pretty funny. Pavitr was also super funny with a great character design. " Chai means tea, you're just saying tea tea! " was probably one of my favorite lines / jokes from the whole movie. His world was also very pretty and SUPER detailed. Props to every artist for Mumbatten.

Miguel and Peter B.'s dynamic was really fun to watch as well. This cryptic emo ass mastermind vampire who has watched people die and destroyed a universe next to this middle aged man in a pink fuzzy bathrobe who's oogling over his daughter. also, the line where Miguel said " I've had the right amount of you today " to peter b instead of " I've had enough of you " like the normal saying goes was kinda queer. just saying. but yeah, great villain, and I do want to see him in the final battle against spot, but I eventually don't want him to be the one to beat spot, y'know? If it was to be anyone, it's obviously going to be miles. Whether it's just miles or miles and gwen or miles and the gang gwen assembled at the end of atsv (WHICH HAD SPIDERNOIR YESSS SPIDERNOIR FANS LETS GOOOOOOO I HAD THE STUPIDEST SMILE ON MY FACE WHEN I SAW HIM IM TELLKNG YOU), in the end it's still gotta be miles.

the collider scene with the spot was really cool. spot may be silly, but he's not dumb enough to be " saved " by his archnemesis who only cared about him when he was about to become a transdimensional eldritch horror. boss move. his final form was really pleasing to look at because you can just see the detail that went into it. Looking at some screenshots, I noticed there were a lot of eyes and I'm pretty sure I saw a version of spiderman (original world 1610 peter, possibly?) staring at miles / the audience. despite him not showing up for another hour, hour and a half, I wasn't mad. If a movie can avoid showing the main villain for that long and still have them integrated properly, just, wow. blown away. oh and this part made me even more interested because his beginning ost, spot 1, I think? his random beats and tunes sounded more silly and disorganized and clumsy, like him trying to take the atm. near the end, he got spot 2, which was more shrill and frightening. I'm not musically trained, and I could still tell that it was scarier, and to me, they sounded very similar. To not have too far of a difference between the two and stroke two entirely different chords is just. ugh. wow.

don't even get me started on prowler miles... RAHHH THE CHARACTER AND WORLD DESIGN FOR UNIVERSE 42!!!! it was so beautiful and scary and breathtaking because there is. no. spiderman. when miles's mom didn't know what he was talking about and gwen wasn't really outside, it hit me like a brick in the head. and alternate aaron??? hello??? he made me physically uncomfortable because of how terrifying his face was. i couldnt even tell if he was wearing makeup or he was just that dramatjcally shaded. the turn miles does to see that it was his dad painted on the wall instead of aaron.... GRAHHHHHH

as an aspiring artist, I can say nothing but wow. that movie, the fact that it was 2 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES???? HELLO??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK THAT MUSTVE TOOK??? unbelievable. and you know that sony felt bad for making us wait on a cliffhanger, so they probably were around 3/4 done with atsv and started working on beyond, so we didn't have to wait as long as we would've if they finished atsv and then started beyond. I'm so glad that those 5 years in the Sony team paid off, because that. was. amazing. my depression is vaporized. im going feral, going wild, going insane. i will not think of anything else until beyond is out. can't wait to see my bbg spot have his villain moment in March 2024!!! <333

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

melvins are still out there saying the s5 bts drop video means nothing for byler, and i was reading your post about duffs subverting tropes. im so interested in which tropes they choose to subvert or use or extend or morph. the famous we're friends! one re: byler is a classic, and is the subversion perhaps the fact that yes they are best friends and will remain so, as well as being two guys in love?

honestly if i had to quantify my main reason for thinking byler is endgame its not even anything quantifiable: it's just the chemistry between mike and will and the way they are directed, even more so than the way they are written. but you can't explain that to people who don't feel the chemistry or understand directorial choices. im sure there will be plenty of mileven fans who totally deny s5 and reject byler endgame, choosing to stop at s4 or rewrite the show, or even petition for it to be remade, sort of like a stranger things referendum lmao.

In fairness, they have a point as to how that teaser didn't have anything solid regarding Byler. However, if that is significant, then what does it mean for their own pairing?

The Duffers subvert tropes when it aids in storytelling, and it's largely dependent on how much the audience expects the trope in question. Subversion is meaningless if it can be predicted, after all. Steve ending up being a heroic, but flawed, character in season 1 is a good example because it subverts the Jerk Jock trope that was heavily common in the 80s, and I imagine remains to some extent today. Nobody would have expected Steve to return to help Nancy and Jonathan, but, if you look back, the seeds were there. He was already depicted as being less of a jerk than his friends, so it is more believable when he ends up telling them to fuck off because he realizes what bad influences they are.

Mike's "We're friends!" moment was very conspicuous because Will didn't really question it otherwise. Will's whole point was that they were friends, and it made no sense for Mike to not give a damn (from Will's perspective) anymore. For Mike to get so defensive about it suggests that it struck a nerve that Will didn't intend. However, due to the general audience seeing it as a "Will is a third wheel" situation, the Duffers are able to use that trope to misdirect the audience. It's another situation where the real meaning isn't a forced twist since there is plenty of evidence there to show the real meaning, but most people just wouldn't notice at first because the Duffers played into their expectations. Yes, Will is upset that his friend is ignoring him, but, plot twist, Mike is overreacting because there's more going on there than meets the eye.

There's bound to be more tropes next season, and I fully expect the Duffers to work those audience expectations into the story.

[buwheal]

Sorry, Anon, but i have no clue what you mean by some of the asks have "opportunities being a bit... heavy."???? Also, I know you have good intentions, (and thank you) but from my knowledge nobody is taking it THAT extreme. If they were, i would address it myself. Im pretty sure most of the people saying they feel bad dont feel super super seriously about it to that degree. I write it like that on purpose for people to feel bad about their actions so they work together to change things but nobody has been going "overboard" . Man, even / i / get the feels for Spamton content and whatnot (my fav fic absolutely destroyed me /nsrs) but i think my audience understands that this is fictional. And so do I. Again, I appriciate you trying to help, but try not to run my blog for me, loll /lh if i see any issues i'll adress it. Not you guys :-P You can add stuff like that in a reblog or your own post or something but dont try to send it through me unless youre concerned and trying to let me know,, this is just trying to cull something that isnt real X-P

[baekhvuns]

first of all, i literally wheezed so hard like a bee buzzing upon seeing your hashtag for me — job resign anon. yes so true. and im so proud of leaving that damn company 🫡 and another yes, my current interest is how to date choi san irl 😁

second of all, naauuurrrr i cant spill the fic im currently writing or anyone (as if) could catch up who am i if i ever drop my fanfic but but but but i have alwaaayyyssss wanting to ask these amazing writers, specifically YOU to proofread the draft plot if it's cool and meet up with readers' expectation or not but..... hmm let's see,, considering im already 70% of finishing and actually ready to drop it but im still insecure with my writings since this is my first time and english is not my main language 🦍 and sometimes my brain got blocked randomly that i ended up wrote the (hopefully) angst scene when i was happy,,, so like,,, im worried if the angst could reach the target audiences or not... but then since nobody is perfect, not even professional writers so im ready to learn more ^^

what can i say is im writing a mingi fanfic— ex-husband and ex-wife to lovers trope btw (i have said this much im crying people gonna find out lmaoooo *gunshot*)

my brain be generating so many ideas but my hands wont cooperate with me to actually converting all my thoughts into writings smh and actually i have mafia san in my draft for, idk, more than a year perhaps but the hype for mafia has sank (i assumed) recently so i have a new idea for san which is reincarnated au!!! i just hope my hands will work well with my brain to share my ideas with everyone before i got a new job or sumn hehe :D

p/s: I MISSED JONGHO SO MUUUCCCCHHHHHH

LMFAOOO IT FITS DOESN'T IT 😭😭😭 proud of u for taking steps and leaving a capitalistic institution behind to ruins 🫡

OOOOOO WAIT UR A WRITER HERE IM ABOUT TO GO LOOK SFABFJNDFKJ JKJK we will wait for ur work! oooo i'd love too! i love reading others' drafts so i would be 100% willing to read urs as well bring on the plots im ready, im sure many others would too! i understand english isn't my first either but i let my writing go thru grammarly or my google docs it fixes a lot of things for me! LMFAOO THATS SO CUTE IM SURE IT WORKED OUT IN THE END just listen to some extremly sad songs, moon lovers ost's can help <3 have written all my angsts to those songs! & u never know until u publish it1 the audience might enjoy the angst!

what can i say is im writing a mingi fanfic— ex-husband and ex-wife to lovers trope btw (i have said this much im crying people gonna find out lmaoooo *gunshot*)

CRYING WHAT GFHLGQBGHLFGJBFJB I NEED THIS RIGHT NOW THANK YEW SO MUCH!!!!!! I WILL BE WAITING FOR THE DAY THIS DROPS OH IM FBJEBBG U GOT ME SHAKING IM VER EXCITED

my brain be generating so many ideas but my hands wont cooperate with me to actually converting all my thoughts into writings mE FOR THE PAST YEAR <3 ,,,, mafia san.... reincarnation au.... HYPE FOR MAFIAS WILL NEVER SINK WE R GOING INTO THE AUTUMN IT'LL BE BACK AND THRIVING,,, ur work sounds very exciting i cannot wait <33

HOPING HIS INJURY HEALS FAST 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[drdemonprince]

hey i know what im about to ask for advice for isnt ur experience but i thought its possible someone else in ur audience has had a similar one its just starting to get unbearable. im in my early 20s and an autistic lesbian. im almost done with college, have had good friends here, have had good friends online as well, but to my knowledge no one throughout my entire life has had even a crush on me. ive never kissed anyone, no one’s asked me out, even as a kid at recess or whatever. like sometimes i even wish a boy had paid attention to me in that way because maybe then it prove theres not something wrong with me. its just so isolating because literally everyone else in my life has at least been kissed or had a crush situation by the time they were my age. ive tried to talk on dating apps but i just have zero confidence about it because no one who has actually seen me or talked to me for more than a couple times has expressed interest. maybe im oblivious to it being autistic but like i would know if someone said something explicit you know? i feel like it wont ever happen. idk. i think it would help to know if people thought the same things about themselves and then something did happen for them. because it just feels like im the only person alive with this experience who actually wants these things to happen (like i know ace/aro people are out there, its just not me)

Thank you for your question. I'll share some of my thoughts, with the huge caveats that I have not lived this experience, and hopefully readers with more relevant perspectives could also weigh in.

I notice here that you describe yourself and your relationship to attraction in terms of things happening to you, or you receiving certain kinds of attention. You frame yourself throughout this as the possible passive recipient of attraction. But what about what you want? How often have you expressed desire to somebody? How frequently and in what ways have you initiated contact, told someone you were interested in them, or invited someone on a date?

You mention using dating sites and talking with people, but those conversations never turning into anything more. That seems to be a very common problem in the lesbian dating world. I think a lot of women do not feel confident and comfortable in expressing their desires outright and it seems to lead to a lot of grinding of gears and people assuming that nobody is interested in them when really all parties involved feel too shy and disempowered to use their words and directly ask for a date.

I understand that to be a very common thing for queer women, though admittedly it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around as someone who was telling people on OK Cupid that i wanted to meet up and fuck them that evening back when I was like 21 years old, and who moves through the realms of steamworks and grindr and the cell block bar dancefloor now. I've had many interpersonal problems but telling somebody directly that I wanted to bang or even to hang out has not historically been one of them, and I really wish I could just lend some of that hutzpah over to my lensbian siblings because I hear people grousing about how dry apps like Lex are all the time.

It seems pretty glib and unhelpful for me to say "just act more like a bluntly direct gay autistic man" and to say that would be to ignore that a lack of confidence and queer women skewing a bit passive are probably not the only factors you're dealing with. There might be biases working against you like fatphobia, racism, or ableism that incline fewer people to openly express desire for you, and that's a real problem that operates outside of you and that no amount of self love can eradicate, and I think it's validating and important to just acknowledge when the deck is stacked against people.

But there are lots of people out there who will want to date and fuck you, for sure, even if you are dealing with any of those injustices, and additionally, I doubt from your message that you're doing anything particularly weird or off putting in your messages with people on dating apps that's like driving anybody away. You mention that you have a lot of good friends and that things are otherwise going pretty decently for you in life, so it really doesn't seem to me like anything you are doing or bringing to the table is "wrong". And over the years I have known a great many lesbians and wlw who were very social, outgoing, fun to be around, cute, and a total romantic prize who just did not fuck or date until their late 20s or 30s or beyond, because of some of the social forces I already described (and again I encourage my lesbian followers to contribute to the conversation because I know it's not my lane and I might not be explaining the phenomenon correctly).

If you haven't, I would suggest showing your dating app profile and messages to some trusted friends (maybe some gay men as well as other queer women?) to get a variety of perspectives and some reassurance.

But I think, based on the admittedly limited information that I have here, that you just need to approach people more and more directly, and that slowly through that you will become more comfortable with initiation and rejection, as well as with seeing yourself as a sexual being with agency, rather than a passive receiver of others' interest.

Try telling people directly that they are cute, that you like them, that you want to be around them, that you'd like to kiss them, that you'd love to go see a movie with them or tie them up or finger blast them or that being near them makes you happy or horny or etc as the situation warrants. If you havent already that is!

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

thoughts on this video about phase 4 😁 https://youtu.be/ICULY_gTngs

lol sure! As usual, a few things I agree with, others not so much.

When he said this I felt it: "The fact that I willingly skipped a handful of products from this phase and didn't feel like I missed anything should speak volumes", because damn, I feel the same way!

During the Infinity saga, a few things weren't to my liking but I stayed and watched all movies in theatres because I didn't want to miss anything, whatever they gave me I was happy to be there and see it. But after MoM, I started skipping series, I'm just not interested anymore. It went from feeling like a hobby to a chore.

I hate it when people claim we have to see Phase 4 as Phase 1 because it's nothing like it. He makes a really good point of saying Phase One only had 5 movies and ended with The Avengers (2008-2012), but Phase Four is 7 movies and 8 tv shows - in two years!!

Phase One introduced us to Stark and then Coulson, Fury and Nat. Thor to both Asgard and his family and Loki, TFA to Steve and Hydra.... and then we got The Avengers. That's great, it's concise, to the point. Now they're doing the same? Sure.... across 15 products in less than two years with a lot of characters that spend more time proving they're better than the old ones than helping the audience get to know them.

Also, there's a weird happening here that I always fail to understand. So these movies are supposed to be part of something bigger, right? Which is why they consistently try to sell future installments, but they always fail to do that because each movie and show are completely disconnected. So when you watch them you feel like the story doesn't stand on its own and only a future product will explain it... except when they come they don't explain anything either. It's like we're forced to look forward the entire time because what we have in front of us makes no freaking sense whatsoever.

For instance, MoM is not a Stephen movie, that much we know, but it's not a multiverse movie either. We see other universes in a 40-second quick sequence and the only new thing we learn is about incursions. This didn't happen in the past, if you watched TFA but missed all the others the story was contained, it made sense, it was character-driven. The same can be said about Thor even the IM movies - the excitement for what's coming next would only come in the post-credit scenes, now the hype for future products consumes the entirety of the movies and series, and things happen to the characters instead of the characters being the catalysts of those events.

This insane unreasonable content schedule that he mentions is definitely the problem and I couldn't agree more with him when he says they should drag them out. We don't need 7 movies and 8 tv shows in two years, that's absolute chaos. The MCU shouldn't be a chore, it should be a hobby, Disney has enough money to get by with just 2/3 movies and 2 shows a year, nobody needs more than that.

To finish this let me just say a couple things I disagree with:

I swear I feel like I'm the only person on this planet who loves Ant-Man and the Wasp. I had so much fun with that one, I don't understand why it's always ranked as one of the worst lol

I disagree about Moon Knight dragging out things, I feel they needed all that time to really flesh Marc and Steven, even Khonshu. I do agree it picked up the pace post ep3 though.

What he says about Black Widow (that it's pointless for the MCU as a whole aside from introducing Yelena) is an argument I don't understand. I don't see why we should define the movies based on what they provide for the greater MCU story, it's a nice standalone that focuses on Natasha and at least for me any product that puts the spotlight on characterization is a good product. Also yeah... I love that movie so I'm biased lol

Oh and he says he didn't watch Eternals. I have, and it's okay I think. Not perfect, it would have worked better as a series imo, but it was fine.

[wri0thesley]

Nat😫😫😫 I'm just reading your naoya posts and I cant😫😫😫 why do I love this arrogant man😫 is it possible to write something of a connected fic to your arrangement story about how he feels jealous over a similarly docile reader (doesnt have to be connected if you dont want tho!!). like he hears about how the reader has been getting marriage proposals from other men since naoya hasnt given an affirmative to your family,,,, and now the reader is forced to consider other candidates (although she still cant atop thinking about our favourite princely asshole) and naoya cant handle this thought lol he deserves to know what angst and the pain of yearning tastes like😌 I hope this wasn't too confusing aaaa😭😭 I love your writing, and im glad youre in this jjk brain rot too🤧

patience - naoya x fem!reader (1.5k)

arrangement // patience // my jjk masterlist

warnings: naoya remains an asshole. submissive reader, arranged marriages, mentions of murder, talk of adultery. pining/angst. not sfw, minors dni!

naoya hates that he can’t stop thinking about you.

Naoya hates that he can’t stop thinking about you.

Oh, he’d meant it when he’d spat ‘pathetic’ and ‘useless’ and ‘worthless’ at you – your bloodline was unimpressive, your lack of cursed technique tragic, your clan elders absolutely idiotic for sending a nobody like you to tempt him. But . . . something about the look in your eyes, the meek little bow of your head, the way you’d listened to every one of his orders with a soft little gasp and a desire to follow them to the latter . . .

He hasn’t told your family that he’s not interested in you, but word gets around the jujutsu community when someone is looking for a spouse. After all, they’re determined to retain blood purity, to keep techniques in the bloodline – your family soon hear that Naoya is still considering all of his options. That other pretty young daughters from other bloodlines have been to see him.

(Naoya rejects them all, for frivolous reasons that he doesn’t want to admit are frivolous. He hadn’t liked the look in that one’s eyes. He didn’t want his children to inherit the colour of that one’s hair. That one had walked two steps behind him, not three--).

You haunt his thoughts. You and the bow of your head, the bite of your lip, the way you’d looked with tears brimming in your eyes. The suggestive curve of you beneath your kimono.

Ugh.

He hears, too, that your family have been exploring their other options. They’d seemed thrilled, at first, that Naoya hadn’t utterly swept you off the table – but six months have passed, and they want their daughter married and out of the house and fulfilling her duties.

He hears about your marriage proposals through that same grapevine. He hears that other men say you are pretty and quiet and obedient, that you will make a fine wife, that you will listen to commands and give soft smiles and raise children like you ought to--

And once, he smashes a glass from gripping it too hard as some nobody in the Kamo clan mentions that he’s going to ask your family for your hand in marriage.

You say no. He hears, too, that your elders are growing frustrated with your dismissals of proposals. They have left behind the thought of marrying you into the Zenin clan, but clearly you’re still clinging to the idea that Naoya might want you despite what he’d said.

He doesn’t, he tells himself, when he wraps his fist around his cock and pumps it and thinks about your look of surprise as his come splatters across your face.

He doesn’t, he tells himself, when he compares a young lady sent to entice him with you. When she looks him in the eye and he thinks that you would never do that, that you would keep your head bowed, that you’d be deferential as he needs you to be.

He doesn’t, he tells himself, as a servant cleans up the shards of glass that he shatters and he asks the Kamo clan member if perhaps he would like to spar, and he hits him just a little bit too hard so he ends up wheezing and doubled over on the training mats as Naoya stalks out of the room.

It’s not his style to pine. He has the pick of every eligible young lady in jujutsu society; he should not be hung up on such a worthless, pathetic little thing.

He hears of another proposal. This one, apparently, hasn’t been rejected straight-out – this one, you seem to be considering. Other members of the Zenin clan don’t understand why his jaw sets at the news.

“You didn’t want her, did you?” He asks. “You didn’t seem keen after the meeting.”

One of his other distant cousins, an upstart too big for his boots, grins.

“That was before she was hot property, though,” he leers at Naoya. “Our golden boy doesn’t like the idea of people coveting his trash--”

Naoya has struck him before he can think and stalked out of that room, too. Something about you has truly opened the can of worms that is Naoya’s violence, and he refuses to admit to himself that it’s because he wants you.

It’s not because you’re hot property – though, certainly, the way other men talk and laugh about you and the knowledge that you’re wanted serves to set a fire within him. It’s because he can’t stop thinking about you.

He tries courtesans. He chooses pretty, well-mannered ones who look a little like you – but their eyes when they look at him are glassy. They’re not the same as yours, brimming with life and want and confusion at the position you’ve found yourself in and the way your body responds to Naoya.

He doesn’t admit to his mistakes. He doesn’t think ‘I should have accepted the proposal, I should have joined the clans’ – instead, he thinks ‘I should have fucked them then and there. I should have made them scream my name until their reputation was ruined and everybody knew they came apart on my cock. It’s their fault that I can’t get them out of my brain.’

He walks with fists and teeth clenched and snaps at every servant who dare looks his way. Naoya has always been unpleasant, but he’s downright impossible with his spine in knots and his eyes narrowed.

He’s going to have to do it. He’s going to have to contact your family, ask for another audience, if only to get your fucking face out of his mind--

He’s not expecting to come across you before he’s even made the call, standing in one of the gardens of the Zenin estate. You’re wearing the same kimono you had first visited him in, and he hates that the sight of it makes a throb low in his belly as he remembers seeing it crumpled on his bedroom floor. He swallows as he stalks towards you and you turn, your pretty eyes widening – he sees the flash of memory, the flash of desire. He wonders if anybody would dare speak to him if he took you right here, in the garden--

An older man opens a door behind you.

Naoya recognises him only vaguely. The Zenin estate is swarming with various, less important Zenins; this one’s a great-uncle, perhaps? Or a cousin thrice removed? He’s someone unimportant in the grand scheme of things, save for the way that he walks up to you and wraps an arm around your waist.

“Ah,” the man with his hands on Naoya’s property says. “I see you’ve met my betrothed.”

His heart stops cold. He’s nobody. Unimportant. Nothing.

He’d called you the same thing; an ‘act of charity’. So why does the sight of an arm around you attached to a man too old and not powerful enough to be a threat make Naoya feel like he’s chewing rocks? Naoya manages to spit out a;

“Congratulations.”

“Yes,” the old man (great cousin? Naoya doesn’t make a habit to remember people he can’t use later on) says, pulling you closer, groping at your hip through the kimono as you keep a sedate, smile on your face without looking directly into Naoya’s eyes. “You’ll be seeing her around a lot. I hope she didn’t bother you.” A squeeze to your ass, this time, shameless. “Say hello to the future leader of the clan, sweetheart.”

(At least this man’s on Naoya’s side, he tries to console himself, but it doesn’t work.)

“H-hello, sir,” you say, and your voice is as tremulous as he remembers it. His cock stirs. He hates this.

“Sorry to bother you,” he inclines his head politely and tugs on your arm, pulling you away, leaving Naoya kissing his teeth and trying to not simply slit the man’s throat with the knife in his hakama and take you for his own.

What had the scum said? ‘You’ll be seeing her around a lot’. He supposes, then, that you’ll be sequestered in one of the other chambers in the Zenin estate--

A slow smile spreads across his face.

You wouldn’t say ‘no’ to your clan leader, would you? And . . . your future husband is old. Any Zenin is a Zenin, is it not? Even if a son is born with Naoya’s features, Naoya’s technique . . . nobody would say anything to him about it. And you’re in reach. Close to him.

He only needs to get you alone before the wedding to make sure he gets to take your maidenhead. He hates the thought of another man’s filthy hands on you, but accidents happen all of the time--

And then you’ll be a widow. You won’t be expected to marry for a while. And if you’ve already borne fruit and proved yourself – perhaps Naoya will even play the chivalrous leader and lower himself to take you for his own.

Yes. Just a little patience.

This is an arrangement he can get behind.

[eulchu]

BIG AGREE

Queer baiting is not a thing unless there is monetary gain being made and a product is being marketed with the promise of queer representation where there actually is none (ex. Old school brobly (gross), Disney movies promising gay characters, basically the entire CW network, Rainbow capitalism, etc.)

Dream and George (to my knowledge) have never tried to actually make money off of the ship. They've made jokes. They flirt. They hint. They're HUMAN. They're allowed to. It is nobody's business what they do and how they interact. Whether or not a relationship is real/could be real doesn't fucking matter. Humans can interact how humans want and goddammit a healthy, loving, affectionate friendship between two men should be allowed to exist anyway.

And if they do end up together- FUCKING FANTASTIC. It's still no one's business.

There is simply so much gatekeeping on identity it's crazy. That's a whole other thing, but still true.

holy shit i was reading about this topic tonight and do you know the amount of celebrities who have been forced to come out because the other option was getting canceled for "trying to profit off their queer fans"?? it's disgusting.

on the dream and george topic i think it's laughable how the people outside of the fandom have this distorted image of what dream and george actually are. if you knew even a little bit of background you'd know that it's all a fun back and forth dynamic between them and their fans (i'm sure there's people out there who take it seriously, but for the most part? we're all just having fun). and it's SO sad to see those people completely drag their beautiful friendship through the mud almost to the point of devaluating it. just because they're pressed that two guys are clingy and flirt? hello who doesn't flirt with their friends. i tell my friends i'd fuck them all the time.

yes their flirty nature attracts some of their audience. but no, people don't tune in because they expect dream to crash george's bedroom, take his shirt off and slobber all over george's face. also, no, they're not flirty to do us all a favor. they're flirty because they're annoying. (in all seriousness, it's just the way they are with each other because yes, a lot of friendships ARE like that.)

and like you said even if something DOES happen literally no one (no one!!!!!) is entitled to comment on anything regarding their relationship. their feelings are theirs only and only for them to figure out. the second one of them says 'hey im not comfortable with this anymore' we're all fucking out of here. because WE do understand that adults have stuff to figure out sometimes and we respect that.

antis just so desperate to find something strong enough to cancel them for good man :/

[rotshop]

get prankt this isn't an angst fic lol ,,

ANYWAY ,, i realized earlier that i could've just been calling 'auditor reader' employer reader this whole time and then i had a funny silly goofy little idea and now we r here,,,lol,,, ill proof read this later but i did this in one go no breaks so . help.

I might continue this later so!! consider this a sort of 'introduction' if u will,,

note ; auditor uses he / she / they pronouns in this bc ive decided im just going to push my propaganda onto all of you <333 also Hank uses he / they / xe

tw ; dissociation, dereality, some light body horror

Bloody Management

"This is out of your jurisdiction. You've wasted enough time here," you seethed dryly, staring down at the shorter being. "You've made no progress and have only proved your operation to be a strain on our relations and resources."

"Out of MY jurisdiction? YOU'VE never even been there before! You think you can just storm in and suddenly kick me out of my own work?" Auditor shot back, hands slamming down on the mahogany desk in front of her.

"Yes, actually, I do," you snapped, eyes narrowing. "I think you're forgetting just who you're speaking to. You've let this drag on for far too long and your ego has grown in tandem with its pointlessness."

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose as you continued. "Look, I understand. You put effort and thought into this little pet project of yours, but the results have all proven zilch. You fucked up, that's fine, but you can't keep meddling with this reality in hopes something will suddenly work again! All you're doing is tearing and poking holes the rest of us will have to deal with later."

"If you just gave me a little more time I could-"

"We've been giving you time. We've given you more time than we've ever given any project like yours," you gave a desperate look, "It's over. You tried and we tried, there's nothing that can be done. If you just worked with us then we could help you."

There was a long silence as they faltered, hands falling into their lap as their gaze followed, landing on the floor.

"And what happens to my Nevada?"

"We'll try and clean it up again. Return it to..some sort of normalcy," you hummed, "Though, with some of those tears in the fabric it'll take a bit longer than anticipated. That..clown, is proving to be rather difficult."

You paused, grin finding it's way onto your face.

"It's been tricky, if you will."

"Not the time."

You gave a 'tsk' in response, shrugging lightly, "I don't regret it."

"You'll be going back to our depths, effective immediately. While this project was a failure, we're still curious to see if there's anything else that can be done in a different time and place."

"And what about you? Are you going to sit all pretty in this fake office for the rest of eternity?" She questioned sarcastically, eyes dragging up to meet yours.

"God, I wish. I mean, seriously, you have no idea how nice it is to have some peace and quiet after dealing with that fuckin' office."

With a dry snicker and -presumably- an eye roll, they finally stood accepting their defeat.

"I presume I'll be seeing you?"

"If your little posse doesn't cause me too much trouble, yes."

"Have fun with that, I do hope it's as grueling as possible," he hummed, turning and striding towards the door to nothing.

"Thanks, was nice seeing you too."

The door peering to the void shuts soundlessly.

.

.

.

"Was the pun really that bad?.."

---

"What do you mean they're just neutral suddenly? It's not like they all just suddenly unionized or sum' shit! There's gotta be something going on," Deimos groaned, irritation dragging onto him and clinging desperately.

"Well- What do you want me to say! I'm just as confused as you are," Sanford huffed back over comms, making a vague gesture with no audience.

Hank stood in the other room, staring down at the few agents that were on their knees with their hands held tight behind their heads. They'd made no attempt to attack Sanford and xem, simply staring in a bit of surprise when the two'd busted in. It'd completely thrown the raid off, leaving them both in a state of stunned confusion. The agent that they'd asked about the sudden change in demeanor just gave some shaky shrug, stammering out that they'd all received an order to not attack under any circumstances from some unknown contact. 'They really just listen to anyone then?..'

It was hard to believe, hard to find any reason or meaning in that lead to any conclusive endings. Which, had lead to a small dispute going nowhere and fast. Hank only picked up on little parts of it, the words being muffled and distorted through the wall. Xe didn't really have much interest in getting a clearer reading of it though, it didn't sound like it meant much.

"Look, I'm just going to try and look for any documents or actual recordings of this apparent 'ghost order,' alright?..." A pause. "Deimos? Are you there? Shit- Of course the line dies now of all times."

The line wasn't dead. It was somewhere else, some-when else.

---

The ground felt cold.

.

.

No, was it warm?

Wait- No no no, it wasn't warm..

.

.

.

Was it even the ground?

.

.

Did it even matter?

.

Deimos could fuzzily recall it. Arguing with Sanford over the line. The points he made exactly didn't seem to ring through the fog of confusion and numb in his mind. Something about the Auditor, the agents, blah bla..something.

He'd been making to say something else when he'd seen it, something off in the corner of his eye. It wasn't anything huge, if you asked him he wouldn't even be able to tell you what it was. There was something wrong, but there wasn't. The ground was cold, but it was warm.

Something was wrong.

Everything is fine.

He'd turned around, looking around for whatever in his vision wasn't right.

That's rude to say, you know.

He'd never found it, something reaching from the depths to grab him.

You're making me sound awfully cruel.

With a groan, he picked himself up off the ground to observe his surroundings. White and black stretched infinitely around him, the 'ground' underneath him was the deepest of not-color while the 'sky' was its blinding twin. A building stood in front of him, a mix of ivory and ink twisted to form its structure. The door faced him, standing tall and straight as a soldier in spite of how tilted and off the world felt.

Before he could even really register it, something was pulling him up off the floor. There were no hands or strings physically attached, nothing sticking from him to drag into the infinite beyond his comprehension, no no. It was something quiet, a ghost or a whisper in his mind that pulled him through the ocean and to shore. The door grew larger- closer. His mind grew blanker. His hand twisted the knob.

Color flooded into his vision finally, the room in front of him coated in it graciously. The floors were a velvet carpeting, a wine red that felt of lavish and glitzy. The walls were lined in bookshelves, each filled to the brim with titles somewhere between poetry and latin white noise where imagination fell. At the head of the room stood a desk, polished mahogany standing tall and still, frozen indefinitely in time. Behind it, you.

Me.

Once again, he was pulled forward. Each step fell in front of the other, unsure of weight behind them and noise that followed suite. He felt half there. Half of a man and half of a void. It was..something.

Not pleasant, not bad.

The ground wasn't cold, wasn't warm.

It just was.

He finds himself meeting your gaze as he plops down into one of the seats in front of you. He finds his neck straining and bowing under phantom limbs that aren't there. He finds his eyes training on yours which stare back pointedly, finds himself between hot and cold. He finds himself sitting down before you as he watches from the window.

There's no window in the room.

"You must be so confused."

Your voice is in front of him, right? That's where you are, so your voice should be coming from there. It isn't though. It's around him somewhere. Even as you tilt your head to the side the noise of your own voice doesn't seem to follow it.

"Don't think too much on this all, alright?"

You mutter something. 'These grunts really weren't made for this- to be here. I'm surprised he even woke up.'

Someone nods in agreement.

"Wh..who are you?"

Is that his voice? It is. It has to be, it fell from his own mouth. He barely even felt it move. Is it his mouth? It has to be.

You pause for a moment, seemingly caught off guard. He doesn't know if its because he spoke or because of what he asked. Nobody clarifies.

"Why don't you call me [name]? That'll be easiest for you. I do apologize for dragging you here rather than appearing there," you hum, leaning forward on your desk. "I just wanted to make sure we had the utmost privacy."

I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be able to forget.

"Now, Deimos," is that his name? "I need to tell you something, I have to work on restoring things for you, so I can't deliver this message to everyone myself in the most..effective of ways. You won't mind filling your friends in for me, right?"

He doesn't answer. He can't. His tongue is lead and his mouth is stuck shut, if he opens it will surely be left that way for the rest of infinity- for the rest of this place, this time. Someone says yes in his voice.

"Good. Now, try to listen carefully..."

---

He wakes up on sand. He's sitting up quickly, stilted as his mind finds his body. His tongue is lighter, teeth separated once more as his jaws are their own entities again. The cliff is still under him, wind passing by him peacefully. The horizon stretches infinite.

The ground is warm, there's no mistaking it.

"Deimos? Are you there?"

He pauses briefly.

"I need to tell you guys something."

[thexfridax]

Recap/thoughts on L’Étang

Performed on 6th of June 2021, Holland Festival, Internationaal Theater Amsterdam / Rabozaal

I recently had the chance to attend Der Teich / The Pond / L’Étang written by Robert Walser and adapted by Gisèle Vienne at the Holland Festival 2021 in Amsterdam. The main reason I went was to experience the absolute force that is Adèle Haenel, but I was also intrigued about how she would interact with Ruth Vega Fernandez on stage (who I only knew from the Swedish film Kiss me / Kyss mig).

After a number of performances were postponed and subsequently cancelled in France, I wasn’t quite sure whether this one would actually go ahead. Luckily, the Covid-19 situation had improved sufficiently for a live audience to attend, albeit with a limited number of people.

Switzerland had hosted the world premiere of the play in early May, so a couple of reviews were already out (check out #L’Etang on @mlleclaudine’s blog, she has translated some of these reviews). I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect though other than French avant-garde theatre (= confusion 😊).

** SPOILERS **

The stage was dark, when the audience entered. You could spot some creepy shapes, some were clearly mannequins, but I somehow thought the actresses were already on stage, too. Watching us. (They weren’t.)

When the lights went on, a guy appeared and gently carried the mannequins off stage.

EXTREMELY loud electronic music followed, and in robo-walked Adèle as Fritz, and behind her Ruth as the mother (nameless, only her last name -Mrs Marti- is mentioned in the OG play).

They continued to robo-walk across the stage (somewhat synchronised), until everyone found their spot, very much apart from each other. You could clearly hear their breathing throughout this movement (also in the latter stages of the play).

Not much else was on stage but a bed with random clothes draped over it, and some other bits and bobs (for Fritz). There was also a wig and an ashtray (for the mother, alluding to her femme fatale status).

Adèle started to speak (in French), setting the scene for a boy who is somewhat disregarded by his mother, but longing for her…

FRITZ

Ich möchte fast lieber nirgends mehr sein, als so da sein. Nichts als böse Gesichter. Ist das ein Essen bei Tisch. […] Man darf den Mund nicht aufmachen, ohne fürchten zu müssen, den Anstand zu verletzen. Was nützt so ein Anstand? Der Paul, der darf wohl reden, der darf sich alles erlauben. An dem ist alles schön, artig, recht, nett. […] Ich muss ja glauben, nur er sei der Sohn seiner Mutter, und die Mutter habe keinen zweiten Sohn neben ihm. Nichts kann ich recht machen, ich mag mich anstellen, wie ich will. […] Wenn nur wer wüsste, wie es in mir drin aussieht. Wenn die Mutter mir nur einmal ins Herz schauen könnte. Vielleicht wäre sie erstaunt, vielleicht würde sie dann sehen, dass ich sie auch noch ein wenig gern hab. […] (Extract from Der Teich, Insel Bücherei Edition)

I’d rather not exist anymore than be like this. Only evil faces. What a meal. […] One isn’t allowed to open one’s mouth without being afraid of violating propriety. What’s the point of this kind of propriety? Paul, he is allowed to talk, he can do anything. Everything about him is lovely, good, proper, nice. […] I’m starting to believe that he is his mother’s only son, and the mother doesn’t have another one aside from him. I can’t do anything right, doesn’t matter whatever I do. […] If only anyone knew, how it looks inside of me. If the mother only looked into my heart. Maybe she would be surprised, maybe she would see that I still like her a bit. (My translation)

J’aimerais encore mieux être nulle part, plutôt qu’ici. … On n’a pas le droit d’ouvrir la bouche, de peur de blesser les convenances. À quoi ça sert, ces convenances ? Paul, lui, il a le droit de parler. Lui, il peut tout se permettre. En lui tout est beau, bien, correct, gentil. […] Je vais finir par croire qu’il est le seul fils de sa mère, et que la mère, elle n’a pas eu de deuxième fils en plus de lui. Rien de ce que je fais n’est bien, quoi que je fasse. […] Si seulement quelqu’un savait comment je suis à l’intérieur. Si ma mère pouvait regarder une seule fois dans mon coeur. Peut-être qu’elle serait étonnée, peut-être qu’elle verrait alors que moi aussi j’ai encore un peu d’amour pour elle. […] (Translated by Lucie Taïeb, in: Pièce (dé)montée : L'Etang, Gwenaëlle Hebert)

While Adèle talked, voicing multiple characters with ease (i.e. Fritz and his sister Klara), Ruth slowly walked around, and at one point intervenes in the quarrel between the siblings. She was a threatening presence, and spiteful to both of her children in the first act. Throughout the play you could see how scared Fritz was of his mother (the look of dread on Adèle’s face was shocking).

A dream like scene came next, where it wasn’t entirely clear (to me) what was happening. Fritz seemed to be dreaming of his family, being conflicted, laughing, angry, moaning … a disturbingly visceral and messy scene, where the characters all merge.

(NB: I may not remember the exact sequence of scenes or who played whom, as I was slightly stunned by this point..)

Meanwhile, Ruth transformed into the ‘good and kind’ mother of one of Fritz’s sickly friends, which made it even clearer how much Fritz suffers from the neglect of his own mother, and how isolated he is.

Maybe also by choice:

FRITZ

[…] Ich bin gern allein. Da kommen einem die Gedanken. Da stört einen niemand. – Mir ist immer, als hätte ich irgendwo etwas vergessen. Ich weiß, es ist nichts, und doch plagt es mich. Was kann es nur sein? Nichts? Da hab ich gut reden! Es ist was, aber das Dumme ist, ich hab es eben vergessen. Ich will dem Sächelchen nachgehn. Ich will zu meinem Platz im Wald gehn, vielleicht fliegt es mir dort wie ein Schmetterling zu. Warum muss man eigentlich denken? Man muss, es zwingt einen. Das ist so dumm, dass man was muss. Man sollte nichts müssen! Aber da hab ich wieder gut reden. Komm, Fritz, wir beide gehen. Ich bin doch nicht ganz allein. Der Fritz ist Fritzens Kamerad. Ich bin mir selbst mein bester Freund. – Was ich auch alles wissen muss. Eigentlich ist es zum Lachen. Aber im Wald will ich darüber nachdenken, was ich tun könnte, dass ich der Mutter – – – (as above)

[…] I like to be on my own. You can think. Nobody disturbs you. – It always seems to me, as if I had forgotten something. I know, it’s nothing, but it still haunts me. What can it be? Nothing? It’s all very well of me to say that. There is something, but the silly thing is that I forgot about it. I will look into the matter. I will go to my spot in the woods, maybe it will come to me like a butterfly. Why is it that one actually has to think? One must, one is forced to do so. It’s so silly that one has to. One shouldn’t have to do anything! But again, look who’s talking. Come on, Fritz, let’s go. I’m not quite alone. Fritz is Fritz’s companion. I am my own best friend. – Why must I know everything. It’s actually funny. But I will think about it in the woods, as to what I’m going to do, so that mother – – – (as above)

[…] J’aime bien être seul. Quand on est seul, c’est là que les pensées viennent. Personne ne vous dérange. J’ai toujours l’impression d’avoir oublié quelque chose quelque part. Je sais que ce n’est rien, pourtant ça me tourmente. Qu’est-ce que ça pourrait être ? Rien ? Facile à dire ! Non, il y a bien quelque chose, mais, bêtement, j’ai justement oublié quoi. Je vais suivre cette piste. Je vais aller dans la forêt, dans mon coin à moi, et peut-être que, là-bas, ça me reviendra ! Mais pourquoi il faut toujours penser ? On est obligé, c’est plus fort que nous. C’est tellement bête, d’être obligé. On ne devrait être obligé à rien. Facile à dire. Allez, on y va. Je ne suis pas complètement seul, après tout. Je suis mon propre meilleur ami. Et toutes ces questions que je pose. En fait ça me donne envie de rire. Mais dans la forêt, on va réfléchir à ce que je pourrais faire pour que ma mère... (as above)

And the plot thickens afterwards, his siblings become convinced that Fritz is going to drown himself in the titular pond (he hinted at it in a grand speech, according to his brother). The brother then chases after Fritz, urged by his sister to do the right thing.

Adèle is fully immersed in this scene, first voicing the siblings, then transforming back into Fritz, who is somewhat exhilarated by his own prank (she intones a sound or two, which makes me think that those singing lessons were quite successful). All to figure out if his mother cares for him or not.

It kinda worked. When Fritz returns home, he finds his distraught sister and parents. The mother sees her son for the first time as a real person (the father is angry). She calls him a man, and they temporarily connect as equals (the mother-child dynamic being interrupted). She wants this understanding to be kept as secret from the other siblings, to which Fritz agrees.

The siblings re-enact the fake drowning scene, Fritz is represented by a knife, Paul by a fork, and Klara by a little spoon. The story ends without the parents being included. (In the OG play, the mother observes this scene, and is quite moved that Fritz has kept his word of not sharing their secret. This is also part of the final act of the OG play.)

In another disturbing and weird scene, Fritz is (invisibly) choked by someone, Adèle pants and spits, but it’s not clear who the perp is (I thought, the father, but who knows). The mother(?) is standing by when this happens, and then leaves, repulsed.

At the end you can see Fritz observing his mother approaching his empty bed, picking up a pillow and holding it. Not a real closure for their characters, but it was a tender moment in a very compact and rather violent play.

Adèle seemed to have voiced the majority of the characters (children and adults), changing her voice accordingly to make them sound different in the same scene. She was often seen on the floor, stretched out, being in agony or another state of mind (or spitting). It was an intense and unsettling performance, but not to the extent that I wanted to leave the theatre 😊

Ruth did voice fewer characters (mainly the adults, maybe also one of the children). She cried heavily in one scene (sublime acting!), and by the end of the play her character seemed to have lost all of her harshness. We mostly got to know her through Fritz’s descriptions (or their interactions), she had maybe one monologue of her own (at least in the OG play). But she was omnipresent in Fritz’s mind and also during the play (she only left the stage once before the end), transforming from the devouring to the caring(?) mother. A more restrained, but still very effective performance.

I think, the (spare) use of electronic music and different lighting was in line with Fritz’s turmoil, and it wasn’t distracting from the acting. I was glad that there were subtitles, perfect for non-French speakers – though it didn’t give you a clue which character was speaking. You had to quickly switch from looking at the subs to Adèle or Ruth to figure it out.

All in all, it was great to be back in a theatre, to watch these two (plus Gisèle etc.) finally bring this obscure family drama to life with a vengeance.

I hope to watch the play again in Hamburg (Internationales Sommerfestival 2021, ticket information to be released in mid-June), as there were a lot more things I couldn’t unpack while watching, or even now 😉

Cover picture by @estellehanania Other pictures/video by @thexfridax

[relaxxattack]

Hey so like, I’m probably not going to “get better”, mentally. Not with my diagnoses. I’ve had to make my peace with that and the fact that my brain just tries to kill me sometimes, and do the best I can. Is your view that I should never allude to that fact in public because it’s a bad influence on children, or just not allude to it in an attempted humorous context?

both, and more.

i honestly think it's just bad to say mean things about yourself at all, but i can understand how it could be viewed as humorous. i'm not about to police what people can and can't do on the internet, you know?

it's just that jokes like that pretty much help nobody. like, joking about hating your self is only funny if it's got the perfect sort of timing, and then only once or twice. but joking like that repeatedly or often isn't funny, it's usually uncomfortable or sad or will be interpreted as a cry for help more then anything else.

those kinds of jokes just aren't funny to me anymore. i'm sure they can be funny among close friends in an individual context, but just as a brand of humor itself ...they're bad. partially because it normalizes the self deprecation in your head, but yes, it's also bad because of the influence it can have on others. friends pick things up from each other.

again, i'm not going to police how people talk on the internet-- me making self deprecating jokes on my insta story in 2016 hurt no one but me and maybe my immediate friends who had to deal with it. the reason i take issue with ranboo specifically doing it is because it activates my sympathy and my secondhand embarrassment.

at least 2016 me's insta vents weren't getting spread around as screenshots, you know? but his are. so that makes the problem much worse because then tons of teen stans are seeing it and learning to laugh at it as a funny joke when... it's not. it's sad.

basically, self deprecating jokes are bad for yourself (normalizing the self hate) AND bad for people who hear them (normalizing self hate as a joke OR making them cringe if they know its not a joke) and it's worse for ranboo because he does it in front of such a large audience.

i'm not upset at him at all, really, i know how it feels to make jokes like that. it's just the combination of him making those kinds of statements often and then me seeing other people on social media think it's funny. other people's mental health isn't funny. maybe between friends who know you well, but. we aren't ranboo's friends. we don't know him well.

and my final note would be: it's honestly not that big of a deal; my reaction is probably a stronger one just because the jokes bother me. like if ranboo keeps making those jokes forever im not going to throw a fit, he's his own person obviously, he might find it funny, or might do it to cope, and that's not my business.

it just bothers me what kind of state a person must be in to say such personal things to 100k people and think it's funny, you know?

anyway as for you: i'm sure you making those kinds of jokes around your friends is fine (because they know you), and you aren't a famous streamer i would assume.

i don't think i made much sense here but if you want to keep talking about it feel free to dm me, i don't want to bog down my poor followers with more about the subject.

[shatouto]

Can I get your opinion on something? I want to write a real unhinged fic, just straight dead dove (properly tagged ofc!) and im worried about how my friends in the fandom will percieve me when I post it. How do I get away from that worry? I understand this fic will not appeal to the majority of the fanbase, but I think it'll be fun to do and I've learned there's always at least one other person who likes what I write, so im sure ill have an audience however small. But im worried about how this fic will alter people's idea of me 😅 you always seem so chill and able to curate your experience to avoid the assholes and antis, which is why im asking you. Even if you have no advice, I really appreciate how much you've put into the obikin fandom, you're someone I really look up to

oh!! well i mean, if you worry about outside perception, you can always post your fic anonymously if on ao3 (just put it in an anonymous collection) :D

but on a more abstract level, if you're talking about like..... how to get away from this worry about what people will think of you when it comes to dark stuff, in general, i would say tbh it's your story to tell. there is so much more to you than just, like, a dark fic, or even a hundred dark fics. like yea ppl can be squicked out by your stuff and avoid it, in which case it's fine!! but nobody has any right to infer anything about you as a person solely based on the content you create. so like, go for it, cause ur friends who love you as a person will love you regardless of whether they like your stuff :)

also omg at first glance i thought you accidentally sent this to me instead of @/ao3commentoftheday until i read all the way to the end hahaha please don't look up to me i’m just a chaotic trash gremlin thank you for your kind words and your regards, i’m honestly surprised and very touched ;o;

[haruhey]

I cant help but imagine the sex scene like daryl UGGGHHHH WITH THAT BITCH i always think and want to think daryl as a virgin or someone with little experience

Like i dont even think that daryl is getting close to a person enough to have sex is acceptable to his character. it is like writers had a brain fart trying to fill the gap about Daryl's depressive mood after rick being gone. And this is the result? Cant you just couldn't make it without leah or anybody. It could be okey if daryl just tried to find rick by himself because he is feeling guilty. But when you say package includes an extra w(b)itch that nobody likes, im out. But seriously if they just put leah as one of the reapers i would say wow what a strong cool woman but now like this showing her tsundere side making her up with daryl,it is not cool. Sorry it is a bit long but i just cant get over the fact that that scene that really happened they just really didn't wanted to film it im glad they didnt but im not happy cause it really happened.

Sorry eng is not my mother tongue

hey anon !!

i get where you're coming from since the daryl fans have fallen in love with reads as somewhere on the asexual spectrum, not someone who would just have sex with some stranger in the woods.

though, for me personally, i think we need to remember that find me had like months upon years of timeskips, and in 40 minutes, we only see daryl and leah interacting for like 20 of them. there's only so much that twd can show in those 40 minutes, and sure, i do think that they could have framed it better and spent more time on their relationship so we as the audience could understand where he's coming from more, but at the same time, we don't see how he's changed from his time out in the woods - maybe the daryl he was when he was with leah was totally in character for the daryl of that time period, ufeel me?

it was like, what, a decade? and we see literally 1% of him during that time. no character growth moments - just a straight jump from post leah daryl and pre-leaving-everyone-to-search-for-rick-daryl to hey look at daryl and this lady boning in the woods. idk, with the way they handled leah's character, i don't think they expected us to like her, much less wanted us to.

@my-mt-heart (again, i will never not plug their blog because i love their posts) brings up a good point about leah being a way for daryl to get over his hero complex. if she wasn't once something to him and was instead just this girl in the reapers that he met and saw good in (maybe like that whisperer and aaron), i don't think it would make that much impact on him. at least, not to the degree that angela kang or any of the other writers wanted to hit daryl with before he runs off with carol in the spin-off

but yeah, that's enough of me rambling.

hope you enjoyed, though :))

- haru

[deadwriter16]

33, 34, 35 fanfic asks

omg hi fizzy <3

ooh these are great ones fizzy ily /p

33. Is there anything you wish you audience knew about your writing or writing process?

hmmm, maybe just that i really dont plan shit, any like cool devices, parallels, or symbolism you find is 100% completely by accident. and also just a general im super super busy until school ends in may, so fics are not gonna be coming out every two days like they used to lol.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you're particularly fond of.

sorry, this one's a little long, i couldnt find a good place to cut it lol

“Huh,” Izuku blinks, and when his eyes open Uraraka is in front of him, dragging an oddly compliant Kacchan by the arm, a few drinks in her hand. Kacchan’s mascara and eyeliner are smudged, and he’s wearing an unbuttoned black dress shirt and distressed jeans. Izuku can see his whole chest plus his abs and everything. His friends need to stop killing him today. Even Uraraka looked stunning when she came to pick him up.

“He told me to call him Katsuki!” Uraraka is saying happily, and then shoves a beer into Izuku’s hand, “come on, guys! Let’s dance!”

“Fuck yeah!” Kacchan pumps a fist into the air, and then plops it onto Izuku’s hair. Izuku’s face heats up, happy to see Kacchan again. “‘sup, Deku.”

“Kacchan!” Izuku says happily, “I missed you so much!”

“Missed you too,” Kacchan slurs, “I-zu-ku.” Kacchan practically croons his name, and Izuku blushes at how forward drunk Kacchan is.

“The hell are you blushing at?” Kacchan suddenly completely changes demeanors, “I bet it’s ‘cause of me, hah? You blushin’ at me, Deku? Of course you are, I’m fuckin’ amazing. Nobody can resist me. I’m hot as fuck. Right, Uraraka?”

“Right,” Uraraka pats Kacchan’s arm, “so hot, honey.”

Satisfied, Kacchan turns around. “Let’s dance, fuckers!”

“Wow,” Izuku laughs, “drunk-Kacchan is really something.”

from my fic you vs the guy he told you not to worry about

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

uhhhh let's see. fic related things. recently i've been kind of salty about how so many fics have smut. i know that's kinda the point of fic, to be a place for people to express whatever kind of writing they'd like, including smut and all kinds of it. i totally understand and respect that so much, but i guess sometimes i cant find one fic without it. and at times like those it gets a little tiring because it doesn't even matter whether the characters are ace or not, it would just be cool to read more fics where there wasn't smut. god, especially longfics. longfics w/o smut would be dope as hell. anyway im not sure if that's a controversial opinion or not but as an ace person i want more fics without smut, especially long fics, honestly mostly because its getting to the point where im just confused about why these people are having so much sex. anyway. smut is awesome and i respect and admire all the people who write what they wanna and write smut and read smut and all of that. i just think im really craving more fics where i can just read them and there's just love without sex. which is why i write so much ace bkg, honestly. aside from just legit headcanoning him as ace and because im ace.

ok that's enough rambling i respect ur opinion pls respect mine <3

ask game: https://deadwriter16.tumblr.com/post/674688807770193921/35-questions-for-fanfiction-writers

[sanstropfremir]

it's kingdom time for real!!! the first episode is here and mnet finally uploaded the stages from like a month ago so i can actually watch them more than once to review.

happy to see them all actually performing. not the most interesting stages overall, but it was the 100sec one-take so i wasn’t expecting anything crazy. like the performance stages, this is about what i expected at this point in the show.

ranking under the cut, i have Opinions(tm) and they are not all pretty.

(anyone that’s seeing this for the first time, i’m a trained performance designer with over 30 credits and a decade of experience, yes i can talk about this with authority)

a few general notes:

this type of stage that mnet has built is called a traverse, or alley, stage. named exactly for the reason you think. it’s characterized by a narrow playing space with audience on opposite sides, and two entrances on either end. so mnet had a pretty typical setup. there are some advantages to this type of stage:

because of the narrow stage space and usually smaller audience capacity, the performer and audience are in much closer proximity

because of the shape of the space, blocking (choreography but for not-dance) can travel well and be very dynamic

it’s uncommon outside of midsize/small productions so there’s some novelty for the casual theatre goer

however! there are some pitfalls with this type of stage. the hardest type of stage to work with is (theatre) in the round. theatre in the round is characterized by being....in the round. that means the audience is placed 360 degrees around the playing space. which means that they can see everything; every entrance, every exit, every performer’s back, 360 degree sightlines means there is nowhere to hide. and in a medium that relies on concealment to create magic, it’s a tough stage to work with. not saying it doesn’t work. some of the most incredible shows i’ve been to have been theatre in the round, but when you go to those type of shows, as an audience member you understand that there will be some scenes where you only see the actors’ backs. there is no perfect seat in the round. the reverse is true as well, the actors can only act to those in front of them. and like i stated previously, on the production end it becomes difficult to hide things like props/set/costume changes that you might have been able to in another type of theatre. why am i talking about theatre in the round? because traverse works on exactly the same principle. even though the audience is only on two sides, the same issues still arise. directionality is key: a director has to be careful of how exactly the stage gets blocked.

why am i talking about stage formats? because the space always informs the performance, that’s why. i think mnet made a sort of smart choice to build a traverse stage. since the ‘audience’ is a video camera, that eliminates the need to play to the opposing seating banks, and opens up more staging opportunities. it’s a fancy looking stage that does what they need it to. 

now here’s my gripes. if you’re going to specifically orient a stage so that it is by nature directional, why are you broadcasting in a format where direction doesn’t matter? if the camera has no fixed position, then you’ve just skipped directly into in the round staging without taking into account the function of the space. it's a round peg in a square hole; yes it fits, but you can see the spaces where it doesn’t quite match up. for a very obvious example, any shot that is not staring directly down the barrel of the stage from left or right has audience in it. and not enough to be worthy of a reaction shots (because those are just cut in in post), but enough to just be there. why would you do that when you could just.....not? just go properly in the round and then you wouldn’t have that distraction. especially when the audience is wearing white. also, there are only so many ways you can stage on a traverse, you’re pretty much limited to directional points on a compass, because there are literal risers in the way. because of the way most groups are choreographed, the member layouts lean more towards having the members in a line than they do layering the members deep. this configuration is fine on a proscenium stage (which is what most stages are), and would even be fine on a traverse stage if you were playing to the risers. you could even do some interesting choreo alterations. but! because mnet has decided that the camera is perpendicular to the risers, that means that most of the formations are not optimized for the stage dimensions and are in fact the opposite dimensions. most of these groups are doing their longest blocking across the shortest area of stage, which is dumb. although it isn't much of a problem because the stage is still very large, but it's still a bizarre choice on behalf of mnet. why would you not arrange the stage so you have more clearance for the camera, the audience, and also the performers? i would have to check back over the rtk performances, but im pretty sure at one point they switch to an in the round stage. why are you not doing that from the start? this would also allow for more built setpieces. although it does remain to be seen if they do switch after this episode, since this particular challenge was a one-take with minimal props/set pieces. which segues to my next point: these groups barely took up the parameters of the challenge, or utilized them effectively! this is also mnet’s fault, mnet if you say that you’re gonna do a one-take, don't cut between seven other cameras!! show us the power of that single point of view! let the groups actually do some interesting blocking with the path of the camera! there’s so many interesting things they could have done, but no!! had to be boring!! i know this is technically an introductory stage, but i also don't care. these groups have (relatively) competent ADs and stylists, they can think outside the box.

ok now here’s my actual rankings:

1. btob

sorry babies, none of you can match them vocally. love you ateez but you sure fucked up picking them to go after you because they blew you out of the fucking water. and everyone else, but ateez cumulatively is the weakest vocally. more on that later. like the performance stage they showcased their strengths and the experience (and training) shows. good use of the directional stage having three vs one that came together in the middle. loved the white suit variations, im especially a sucker for a belted suit jacket. loved peniel's gigantic trench and massive earrings, very mid 90s, his stylist definitely took a lesson in how to accessorize very short hair. always love good use of fog. uniform colour theme, all elements were there to support the vocals. no complaints, chef’s kiss.

2. ikon

hey baby groups? see bobby having fun? do that more. i know you think performance face is sexy and serious but none of you know how to act and you all look dead inside on stage. the lights may be on but nobody’s home. anyways. excellent beginning formation, excellent ending formation, no complicated position changes that make the camera give you motion sickness. fun choreo that they are obviously having fun performing, which goes sooooo far in the success of a performance. only group so far to use silence as an effective device, and the arrangement was interesting and suited to the song+performance. i think it was smart of them not to deploy bobby right away, although it would have been funny to watch after whatever it was that stray kids was trying to do. again, like btob and also sf9, sticking to their strengths. costumes fun and fitting, indicative of both the colour of the group and of the song. nice detail in the monochrome and the black accent details.

3. sf9

taeyang is that bitch and they only way this would have been better is if he had actually grabbed the ties of those two other members (if you think i am going to remember anyone's names other than the people i already know you are wrong). love the confidence to waste a good chunk of your 90 seconds for walking and standing in formation. actual good use of one-take directional camera, even though they ruined it once they started dancing. choreo perfectly fine, lighting good complementary colour scheme, costumes nothing to write home about, surprisingly good projection design? wasn’t expecting that. im not the biggest fan white suit jackets over black shirts but ill give it a pass for the proper suit accessorizing.

4. ateez

i applaud your dedication to the pirate gimmick but boys you don't need that anymore, i promise. hongjoong's lil bloody cough was a fun gag that didn't draw too much attention but fit with the theme. came out of the gate strong with an actual clear narrative, which can be a challenge to do in 100 seconds, and the only group to have a narrative. also actual camera choreo! that was interesting! mnet stop fucking cutting to overhead shots! apparently im destined to always be beefing with the ateez stylists because what was the point of all that? very little variation in texture or pattern on matte all black just made any relevant details disappear. torch gimmick and end formation fun, and the arrangement had an obvious climax. weird and kinda fun projection design, but not helped by concert-style stage lighting. pick one or the other lighting designer, don't make them fight like that! props to them for actually having their mics on the whole time, even though they are probably the weakest group vocally. im also going to be beefing with the choreographer because they are always making seonghwa sing while doing ridiculous moves that make him go offkey. ateez has some of the stronger 4th gen vocals, but they're at a disadvantage because a) none of them have proper vocal training, and b) their main vocal is not actually a skilled singer and is destroying his voice.not a lot of vocals for them to showcase this stage and that was probably for the best. hanya (@changdyke) is in charge of vocals critique and will have more to say about this than me, even though i am also trained. im just here to talk about the production.

5. the boyz

im neutral to positive on tbz because i did really like their danger stage from rtk. this performance is just....fine. I don’t like the arrangement, but that's mostly personal opinion. but it doesn't have a conclusive end and the whole dissonance thing isn't really working for me in this instance. the choreo is quite flippy and tricking is not necessary for an interesting choreo. i did like the throwback/use of modern choreo, i think that's a strong choice for them and it's not something that many other groups are doing, so they should stick more to that than to tricking. the camera choreo is also not good. here’s where the clearance issues and fighting against the stage layout happen! stop making a handheld do a 180! are you trying to make us motion sick? to be fair, this is not the most egregious one, but at least ateez got it right by having a person lead the camera in a particular pattern. also, what even is the theme here? leatherclad boys in the forest? nobody give me any shit saying it's based off one of their music videos or whatever, that shouldn't matter. there should be a clear theme that can be easily identified without prior knowledge of the group, especially when this is an introductory stage and they are a relatively young group. none of the other groups have this issue. that being said, at least the costumes were interesting to look at, although thematically confusing. good use of accessories, texture, and bedazzling to make the black stand out against the stage. the hands in front of the camera were kind of fun but didnt really mean anything? again, back to the lack of clear concept. i did like them reaching out to pull that member forward, it would have been better if they had just left it at that.

6. stray kids

the more i watch this the more i hate it. im not even sorry about it anymore. starters, and i will admit this upfront: i do not like most 4th gen music, so the spiderman meme groups are already operating on a deficit in my point of view. and i particularly did not like this arrangement. same as with tbz, why did it not have a conclusive end? also overuse of sound effects. and stop saying your fucking band name! the only musician that’s allowed to do that is jason derulo and thats because hes a meme now. but twice in 100 seconds? no. and what was the point of that logo/crown reveal? im tired of crown reveals we have seen them so many times by now, we don't need to see it again. was it meant to be that they were carving it into the ground?? very unclear. there was an attempt with camera choreo, and i will admit that the pan up and then back down to the ‘wolf pack’ was probably the strongest moment in the whole performance. the lights were in their mouths, by the way. however, the rest of the choreo is all over the map, quite literally. as with tbz there’s a lot of members in the group and so in order for everyone to get their screen time they break down into smaller groups, which i don't disagree with on principle, but here.........the breakdowns are just tricking, which although eyecatching, does not a very compelling or cohesive choreo make. even the unison choreo is weird, obviously its stylized horror but it just looks awkward and strange. you can make awkward/unattractive choreo work (see taemin’s want, or even move, to some extent)***, but skz doesn't have an ounce of the charisma that taemin has so it just looks awkward. also, that rapid switch between opposite sides of the stage? nausea inducing. ateez was the one with the pirate concept but skz apparently trying to make us seasick. im not gonna say anything about that rap other than it was bad, why was that allowed on stage. the sparkthrower was fun but that's like the 14th gimmick in this 100 second stage and that’s too many gimmicks. costumes are truly nothing to write home about, extremely unclear relation to the theme. if you're gonna be wolves then at least have some fur accents or something. the makeup effects were a bit over the top and not necessary in the actual performance. a hairdresser needs to thin out felix’s hair because he looks like he's wearing one of those lego hair helmets. oh, i did like that one guy’s shirt with the collarbone cutout, but again: how is that relevant to the theme? cmon people!!!! design the whole experience!! im sure there’s more i could write but holy shit this is long and im tired and also i don't want to watch this stage anymore.

ok im done. jesus this is long. again, this is just the intro stage so i suspect that some of my complaints will become null next week, but we’ll have to see! well, what i actually want to see is changmin insulting children but i’m not holding out hope for that to happen. hopefully we see some more spectacle-y stages and i can really go in.

***this is not me saying that taemin has a bad choreo that he’s making the best of. want is purposefully choreographed that way in order to showcase taemin’s ability. same with move. the point of want is that it IS awkward and should not be seductive or appealing and yet it still is. almost like....it’s in the name of the song or something.....