#im stuck in my emotions
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I hate having these gross emotions ;-; like pls just give me a chance to get to know you. Know you for you. I want to learn so much about you like a cherished book marked with annotations along the borders of each page, and in the margins of every line. That same book covered in those small sticky notes that have even smaller messages of why this section made you so upset to the point you had to mark it off and take a break.
I hate how I catch myself looking at you with hearts practically in my eyes, struggling to look away in fear that I'll miss you looking back at me. You radiate like the sun and I bask in all of your vibrancy, all I ask is to be your moon so I soak in and reflect what you have graciously given me.
It kills me when you laugh and smile at a stupid joke someone made, and it kills me even more when others treat you lowly, but I love that you aren't afraid to communicate that something has made you upset.
I feel as if I am the fool that has fallen for someone that I can't even reach. I've fallen for you, and I can't even begin to fathom how hard of a left hook I've endured all because you came into my life. You are the purple and red snapdragons that have grown in my rocky terrain, enveloping my heart and thoughts with your roots. Gods it's so beautiful though.
You've bewitched me, and I can't nor do I want to break myself from this spell you have cast upon me. I can only hope that I have charmed you and that I am your Snapdragons. Until then, I will dream about you and long for your warmth that you ever do graciously radiate.
#romantic feelings#literally dying#vent post#does this count as poetry#no idea#im stuck in my emotions#i just want to kiss him#i want to be with you#i want to be yours#sappy af#gross af
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's just that dude you always do everything with, no biggie
#homestuck#john egbert#dave strider#johndave#davejohn#pepsicola#hammertime#a skele fanart#my art#waves to my tag readers#this is the non rp related stuff I have#i can share that stuff next maybe like tomorrow or something#you should be extra nice to me#these dumbass human emotions im stuck with got me feeling like hot garbo#but like heres those dudes theyre awesomeright#wish i had what they have
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
will our paths converge 'neath the sun
#honkai star rail#hsr#robin hsr#sunday hsr#penacony#hsr fanart#nez art bucket#its insane that i did a fanart of those two before KAFKA OR BOOTHILL LIKE WHAT#and i dont care that much about neither sunday nor robin kxfixfxfdgi#im just a sucker for doomed siblings and it awakes the goblin that craves blood sacrifice (dramatic piece of art)#oh also had i not seen the sun makes me so fckn emotional its permanently stuck in my head
334 notes
·
View notes
Text
☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]
{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]
This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.
She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.
But it'd been almost a week since then.
The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.
That counted for something.
Not much, but something!
..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.
There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.
She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.
So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.
Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.
Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.
Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.
She really didn't like it.
There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.
She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.
She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.
That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.
Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.
But he wasn't.
He was out running her nation, instead.
And what was she doing? Nothing!
She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.
Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.
Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.
..She wasn't ready.
What was she supposed to say?
Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?
She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.
For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.
Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.
Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.
It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.
"Focalors?"
The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.
She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.
"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"
The silence is deafening.
She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!
"Lady Furina?"
Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.
"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.
Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.
Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.
"Why aren't you killing me?"
The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.
She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.
"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."
The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.
He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.
..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?
How unfair.
"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"
She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.
..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.
She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.
For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.
Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.
For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.
Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.
She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.
She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.
She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.
"Again."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#neuvillette#focalors#furina#dont ask what happened here idk#this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up#got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story#focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her#what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell#neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all#ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions#using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS#constant anxiety and panic 24/7#will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry#compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more#i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY#i want 2 put them under a microscope#watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving#anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
288 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have been reading through the diary I kept from ages 14-17 and realising how helpful it can be to keep a record of how you're feeling at different moments.
not only is it helpful to write down and process how your feeling and give yourself time to truly think about it, it's nice to have something to look back on. to not just remember how you felt about a certain situation but to actually have yourself from that time tell you.
and also, from an adhd perspective, it's really lovely to have reminders of things I'd almost entirely forgotten. it's easy to think that your life right now isn't interesting, but in 5 years time? to know what songs you were listening to or book you were reading or even that Thing that you were so worried about but now you can't even remember the details. it's nice to have a physical reminder that time passes and things really can get better.
#i think part of whats makes it so special to me is that (like it is for a lot of people) those ages where so *much*#and i was so stuck in my head and socially anxious and i feel like those years of school rly shaped who i am now ect#but id kind of forgotten? its become a blur emotions over time and its nice to see it clearer#but also how i changed? and to read into it and see what i did or didn't write#im also a big fan of the inner child and doing things for your younger self and its a lovely gift to have her speaking to me directly#also if you want to journal i highly recommend doing it in a normal notebook rather than a pre planned one#it gives you the freedom for it to be whatever you want with none of the pressure#recovery#tips
462 notes
·
View notes
Text
it was only a matter of time, unfortunately
doodles regarding my tadc oc. sorry for falling back into the oc x canon mines 😔
i like to think that hassel befriends caine simply bc hes so fascinated and wants to know the inner workings of the circus and also just how advanced caine is as an AI. sure the friendship started out as one-sided and an attempt to get information n maybe to find an exploit of some sort but it soon becomes a real, genuine friendship.
gif unrelated
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc oc#tadc caine#oc x canon#my art#doodle#oc: hassel (tadc)#tadc zooble#tadc pomni#tadc gangle#tadc ragatha#tadc kinger#tadc bubble#as ive said before i am a sucker for robots developing sentience and experiencing emotions for the first time#decided to make hassel less like myself n more like his own character n ive been havin more fun with that :]#guy who REALLY likes computer viruses winding up in the circus is just a funny concept to me#>works in cyber security#>ignores the warning signs and opens a dubious program#>mfw im now stuck in digital purgatory#“i am cringe but i am free” ect ect
118 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/841766b9b96e86a7407493502302acc4/95b7e57abda8c6bc-c4/s540x810/3a4dd329cdc48cc469f01195c22e3b98b7277fdc.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4a584f26cd44f37517510ef085cf3798/95b7e57abda8c6bc-41/s540x810/206dfd179010f47ff471c4d0d8d3b6da6c4a59de.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3a47eec5b80a670520ccd64a7cd71d17/95b7e57abda8c6bc-7e/s540x810/25c8362de9a28af2b45eb3f5b7735c1a15df6338.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a0de226e14ce6a0045d0aa87793a5a04/95b7e57abda8c6bc-bd/s540x810/28825c45cefdd6baf6bdcdbbc8af80f1af0119f5.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7cb8591d68f24cabac326d8309e73549/95b7e57abda8c6bc-b6/s540x810/fbd79e75b724be8177f6cdb3957ae67976b41dbc.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bfa1c6a717e604abc6735633054244c6/95b7e57abda8c6bc-b9/s540x810/73d06cb25bab29690cc8566f71353b68acb5e9c9.jpg)
Genloss? In 2024? It’s more likely than you think.
Pretty much a summery of what happened during the basement scene 😭
If you’ve never watched Generation Loss on YouTube go watch it now
#IM STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BOX#Spirit of the cabin is the best episode change my mind#Three moons I love this trio#Words cannot describe my emotions towards Generation Loss#it’s so good but so deep 😭#Generation loss#generation loss fanart#genloss#Ranboo#thing™️#Charlie slimecicle#slimecicle#Sneeg#sneegsnag#Gl sneeg#gl ranboo#gl slimecicle#gl charlie#Genloss fanart#digital art#iArtbook#my art#fanart
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/20c0a9665e2d1fc141ff6412a8b06a98/24f71bed36450776-42/s540x810/4d4b5a1d6039c24250c6f9f80d82690b25b5c486.jpg)
"Son, please— we're having a moment here."
#Lies of P#lop#neowiz#pinocchio#geppetto#geppetto lop#pinocchio lop#fanart#comic#comics#tw blood#as I prepare this post I am facing who i believe to be the last boss in my very first run#aND IM VERY FRAGILE OK#watch me cope with finale emotions w a //ba dum tss// dumbass comic#heard they nerfed the bosses after me getting stuck two days in the cathedral and im like#part of me is happy bc god yeah not much suffering#but the other part is like ok this is too easy wasnt i supposed to suffer??#there was two bosses i defeated in my third try and one in my second tHSI ISNT RIGHT#also very small spoiler alert but i'm keeping my p with the short hair ok I GOT ATTACHED TO IT
605 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can you hold me in silence?
#spilled heart#spilled ink#spilled words#spilled thoughts#spilled emotions#my words#words#spilled prose#love#you broke my heart#spilled love#quotes#heartbreak#spilled tears#spilled feelings#spilled truth#spilled poetry#wlw yearning#spilled poem#thoughts#sad thoughts#depressing shit#random thoughts#kinda depressing#wlw heartbreak#wlw post#wlw blog#my diary#stuck in my head#im hurtin
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can we talk about how in all the 2011 Post-Qualifying pics, Jense and Seb are always gravitating towards each other, and then Mark/Lewis are just🧍♂️
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f2adf7e134789ac750f0a70be7d0ef7d/77c1185eccd78e05-66/s540x810/7e6699ffd2950793062e47e084048eef2c5bf5de.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8c16b2c73e519f64bf8e3f0a9df8fd51/77c1185eccd78e05-a7/s540x810/51a3aec53cefba32cedc22f1036444bacd008715.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4c42670939d3a558926c0c63bc930e23/77c1185eccd78e05-da/s540x810/e359014fd8e63ee72381c64b7439b39e439a5adb.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4634716a94d38c4c79bff367bf509aa5/77c1185eccd78e05-68/s540x810/e8d902aaa69fa903b647c78f7f363655923fd5c3.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ebae592efc993a11ee3879d4cc7ce03a/77c1185eccd78e05-ed/s540x810/9921876813e43eb5b5d9ce7f03684bd83cf91ef6.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f8b3b19b1ef23499f85b99724f729284/77c1185eccd78e05-f7/s540x810/0a0f6b9aa47a7ea7f5b7d792a0dac350a15a56e6.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d472caf64cc74c56a6f2b922180a9516/77c1185eccd78e05-b2/s540x810/3f2ba8360b0ebbcd07fdc40c5fc7b798703db71b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e15996398b3e61a83d8725b3835b1a0a/77c1185eccd78e05-a6/s540x810/bdfb7357a3bc9372b712b0e7ad716a0067266c70.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/71f5a1a0ad271355529900def0280259/77c1185eccd78e05-20/s540x810/1f9275a99e93ba62733e04103a70228fcfbc54d0.jpg)
#theyre like this in 2009 as well tbh....the australia ones...omg#but 2011 stuck out to me just bcs theyre so often together#the hungary one(2nd on left) is by far the funniest to me like why is lewis standing so far away 😭#the sebmarkson ones its a little less obvious cause theyre an ot3 yknow 🥰#but seb imo always is leaning towards jense#but those 3 are mostly pretty close but it feels like lewis always was standing specifically apart 😭#(maybe one day ill make a 2009 version but i cant spoil myself!)#also im telling you sebson would be so popular if they existed now#lestappen who? these are *my* emotional support rivals 🤭🤭🤭#only have eyes for each other genuinely!!!!!#like look at any quali/parc ferme/podium/champagne pic theyre always focused on each other#seriously they would pop off in today's fandom#jenson always with the proprietary arm curled over seb's shoulder#ALSO NOT PICTURED#all the other pics from these but its specifically them cropped and like being silly with each other and looking at each other lovingly#also yes Grace if you see this this post *is* because im reading Solar Flare again#f1#formula 1#sebson#jenson button#sebastian vettel#mark webber#lewis hamilton
418 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4d04751ac81ad5e88da7bcf231a99adf/956f01fbc55d12a7-7c/s540x810/d6f54ac6eb04df120196d32427a8f4aaa4a166bc.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ee79ba74d249b582e0e93671c5b03787/956f01fbc55d12a7-79/s540x810/6465ce44b24510546c465ba667bdf9a1e204f6e2.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dd9f1802736bfe63cd76289828f17d04/956f01fbc55d12a7-e4/s540x810/68a0d8875cc38928a2302419f3acd9f11d879c7f.jpg)
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#insta#MY LOVEYYYYYYY LOVEPIEEEE#we will see the northern lights together and hand feed the reindeers this is what the fit is giving#ive never seen anyone so cute like im exploding with all of my emotions#they will end up as splashes of paints on the walls.#need to run in circles like a hamster stuck in a cage
353 notes
·
View notes
Text
bailu borgar baby 🐉🍔
#guys would you wanna send hsr reqs in me inbox or smth pretty please i jsut wanna draw... characters or ships or just . pls 🥺#im in a mood rn 🥺#i cant rlly do the moody emotional penacony pieces i want to rn so jsut simple prompts pretty please with a cherry on top#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr bailu#my art#when you rediscover a brush n now youre stuck helphelp
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
38 notes
·
View notes