#im stuck at work otherwise i'd be reading it right NOW!

[thosetrollkids]

going to reread @beannary 's TMA fic later cause its self care <3

[megatraven]

tagged by @retiredficwriter thank you!!! :3

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

i've always thought up little scenarios in my head for whstever blorbos i was obsessed with, but actually writing it down didn't happen until i was in college! i joined a new fandom at the time (miraculous ladybug) and was so inspired by all the art and fic other people were making that i started writing fanfic (and drawing fanart!) in earnest :>

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

according to ao3, 12. but i have a lot of unfinished or unposted works from other fandoms, so the number is even higher than that though i'm not sure by how much

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

since the tail-end of 2015! so almost 9 years!

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

i write more than i read these days, but i'd love to get into reading more fanfic again sometime

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

[finger guns] i dont know! B)

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

i don't usually research things for my fanfics i just wing it

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

comments where the reader says that they come back to reread the fic every now and again 🥺🥺 i've only received a couple of comments that are like that in my time writing, but they're the ones i love the most. just so sweet ooogh

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about

well i havent done it in years. i don't know if it still exists somewhere here on the internet, but there was a donkey x shrek fic, once upon a time......... other than that, my fucles fic from like 2016/2017 whenever that was. so i guess you could say i love taking a Weird Ship(tm) and writing deeply unserious fic about it

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

smut for me too! i have so many wips that include smut scenes that are all stuck right at the smut parts because i can't write it for the life of me. it feels so stiff and choppy and unnatural and too-detailed. but im working on it! :3

10. What is the easiest type?

i love expanding on canon. for example in astoria there's a throw-away comment about mc having what's implied to be a sex dream! so a fic i'm working on is The Dream(tm). i love filling in the missing peices! that, or i love love LOVE writing what-if fics. what if sydney was strigoi and adrian chased after her. what if alya was ladybug and in love with marinette. what if mc replaced a goddess against her will. i like exploring every potentiality and possibility!

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

in my bed if i'm at home, otherwise wherever i am on my phone. i write in tumblr drafts. terrible habit, i know, but alas. whenever i have the time and motivation lol.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

smut :( it makes me so nervous to write, that's why it's also the hardest one for me 😭 even if i do write a scene out i get too embarrassed to share it or even ask for a friend to read it over.

13. What made you choose your username?

had a few nicknames on deviantart back in the day, among them "megatron" and "raven". at the time i was searching for a new url and one of my friends mashed the two nicknames together to create "megatraven" and that's been my Brand(tm) ever since!

tagging: anyone that wants to do it! :3c

[orcelito]

tfw im trying to push thru the late hour to keep editing but i cant Fucking make sense of this goddamn paragraph soooooooooooo

maybe it’s time to rest

[spiritual-messages]

~from your guides pac 🤍

Hey there

First of all i'd like to thank you all for showing so much love on my first reading .I appreciate all the feedbacks , likes and reblogs 🥺

Bless!

Here's the christmas pac im doing

So todays reading is all about messages and advice from your spirit guidesss .. (So those who don't know each and every person has a spirit guide that help them a guide them throughout this journey of life and you can have 1 or more spirit guides )

So before we start I want you to take a few deep breaths and center yourself .. Now pick a pile you are attracted to the most haha!

:) letsss take a moment to appreciate how beautiful all the pictures are

The pictures aren't mine and are taken from pinterest credit to the owners thank yaaa! Bless

Pile 1 ------ pile 2

Pile 3

Pile 1

Alright pileee oneee welcome to your reading

Current Energy :

Ahahaha .. So I heard " emotional healing " 👀 you guys are healers... I see alot of water and earth energy coming.. Wussup virgos and scorpios , heyaaa taurus hahaha alrghtieee so lets get it lets go..

So right now i see you guys healing .. Smth damaged you emotionally I see .. stop worrying about ppl who dont appreciate your care please don't cry becz of those stupid brats .. Why hurting yourself .. Thats not righttt ...

Message from your guides :

" I know that you are empathetic and I know that you can't see people in pain... You can't help but lend a hand to those in need .. Even if it emotionally drain you... But you need realise that some people are just energy suckers .. Vampires who drain you and leave you tired and overwhelmed. . you need to realise that your energy and well being

comes first .. You are not caring about your cup trying while to fill their's and that leaves you being exhausted .. Stressed and overwhelmed .. ( please stay away from energy vampires they mean no good and helping them isn't worthy at all becz they will be the same again they never learn pleasee watch out...) Dear one we cant even blame you becz you have an ability to attract all those unhealed souls ( scorpio moon energy) they are attracted to you becz you have so much power to heal others and to make others feel comfortable with you ( you might even have noticed that people get comfortable around way tooo quick and you might even have noticed them opening up to you way faster .. Letting you know all their secrets .. You might also feel other's pain as if they are ur own and you don't judge them .. Also you guys are masters in manifesting) but first heal yourself .. Watch out for such ppl who comes to you only when they are sad .. You have such positive aura around .. But you are letting those people kill your vibe don't do such stuff .. Focus on yourself.. Give time to yourself .. ( you might even leave all your work to listen to ppl who are sad you are so pure)"

Advice :

your guides are telling you to start being protective over your energy and be cautious about who you decide to pour this energy on.. Make sure that they learn and grow by your help.. If they are stuck even after helping to much just let them go .. Universe is fair to all .. Don't trust people that easily .. I also feel as if you guys helped someone with money and they aren't returning it ? And are even asking for more.. don't!👀 telling ya they lying about what they need that money for.. Dont invest in such ppl 👀 ... So if you have a question like " is this the truth " or anything else.. The answer is yes! Bless please make your friend circle smaller and cut out all the toxic ppl.. It will get lonely but trust me .. The journey will lead you to pure brightness

Thats all.. I wish you a very best future and advice you to meditate atleast 15 mins per day . cut out those vampiesss otherwise they will continue to make you feel overwhelmed. . invest your energy in ppl who are worthy of that

Bless ❤️

Pile 2

Current energy :

Alrightie pile 2 welcome to your readinghhhh Uffff so heavy energy here.. I feel as if im stuck somewhere and am unable to move .. Oh my god guys are you alright ? chin up you got this alright! Dont give upppp... Guys i see your are dealing with family issues .. I see conflicts and abusive family (that's sad.. ) so for some of you I see that you wanna move out and wanna be separated from your family and for others I see your family causing trouble in your relationship ..

Message from your guides :

" my dear I know what you have been through .. I know that they never supported you and gave you love like other parents did to their children. . I know that you never showed that it hurted you but deep inside you wish to have a cute loving family .. I know you just want someone to call a family and one to embrace when nights get colder.. One to support you when you are broken and one to pour all your love on .. Its okay love .. Be positive and move .. Have faith on us on universe .. You'll be able to achieve a great family in future .. We are sending a soulmate into your life who can love and cherish you and give you all the precious things you deserve .. Stay strong . we know you feel stuck and often feel like you cant get outta this situation but thats no truth.. Trust the universe.. Transformation will occur.. And things will change.. You'll get all the money you ever wanted to get you life in balance and get a love who will hug you so tight that all those broken pieces of your heart will stick right back ( guys for some of you I feel like someone in your family do drugs and have unhealthy addiction .. And that person cause chaos .. Your inner child is completely traumatised... please have faith .. I wish everything best for you .. You are too precious ) I know that your family doesnt value your opinions and you often feel controlled and manipulated. . but soon there will be someone who will help you.till then help yourself. And move .. You can create a life that you want and you will .. Have faith on yourself!"

Advice :

All right .. Your guides are telling you to trust the universe and be positive .. Dont give up and try to cheer urself up by positive affirmation. . they are telling you to notice the signs they are sending you " 222 , 111 ,555 and 2222" very soon a transformation will occur that will change your life .. I see a soulmate coming in your life .. For some of you this will be your future spouse .. They will help you to get outta all this dumb shit created by your family .. And will heal you till then make decisions and be determined have faith u got this done... Let's go so proud of you you did greattt job

I wish you all the best

Bless ❤️

Pile 3

Energy:

Alrightie pile threeh welcome to your reading 😂 haha .. So so soo i see alot going on .. I see that someone from your past is coming back into your life .. Possibly an ex ? Someone whom you cutted all the cords with.. .. I see you guys rn in a healthy relationship or living a great life .. But this past person steps in and the chaos begins ( well fuck past and fuck maths thats what I was used to say when I was a teenager )

Message from your guides :

" .. The lights thats around you .. Is coming from yourself .. Thats because you are positive ans you have to let that light shine within yourself.. Dont let past come back. . remember all the lessons you learnt .. Trust that once a cheater will always be a cheater .. You worked hard to build what you are to day .. Dont let some cheap chipmunks destroy that progress .. They must have realised how good you were but trust it they just want you for what you are today ans will continue to hurt you again . dont let people use you .. ( lets go girl/ boi you are the baddest bitch .. You got it!! Go walk all over him/her .. Let that punk rub his nose on the ground for you .. Fucking spit on his wreakass ugly face .. Dont let that rotten fish destroy your future fuck ittt!!) Remember why you choosed to move on .. And now you have new opportunities waiting for you so get it "

Advice :

I heard " beat that ass up bitch go beattt that ass like damn" damn you are kicking asses i see wooho cheers to my pile three damn im smiling proudly.

Okay so lemme calm my damn self down and continue the reading bruh 😂 so your guides are advising you to kick ass well not really ( well good idea ah mhmhmmm ) well they are telling you not to look back because I see you have manifested a soulmate .. And if you aew in a toxic relationships break up just go free yourself from that shit .. Work on yourself and be proud of you have achieved pat yourself on the backs ❤️ if you are in a relationship which is healthy and someone from past came back just kick that past person out .. Becz you are or will be in a relationship with your soulmate thats healthy .. Just go ittt rhrrrrr

Bless !

so I hope it resonates thank you .. I wish you a great future and an awesome day ... Remember that you are the creator of your damn reality and you fucking know how to handle that power .. So chin up .. You rock this shit .. Keep grinding ( i caught you u naughty little not that grinding you dirtyminded bitch)

Lemme know what pile you picked haha and this is a general reading so take what resonates and let other shit flow off

Feedbacks are appreciated ❤️ so much grateful for the love you showed on my last reading 🥺 thank youuu

Bless bahhhbayeee

[hideyseek]

ehehe tagged by @iamanonniemouse to tell you guys about myself hoho! mousie u lucked out i was already on desktop when i saw this otherwise it would take me like six million weeks to respond

favorite color: i don't think i have one but i'm partial to shades of brown and green

favorite food: if i had to pick one thing, rice. but woks of life has a recipe for poached chicken with ginger scallion sauce that is the only recipe i've made twice in a week in my life.

song stuck in my head: i just got introduced to rina sawayama so right now it's a cycle between akasaka sad and xs and dynasty and paradisin' and tokyo takeover (which im listening to on youtube)

last thing i googled: how to save bell pepper seeds for planting (apparently it's much more hit-or-miss with green ones :sob:)

dream trip: hmm travel definitely feels like a distant pipe dream but i'd like to go to taiwan as an adult for a few weeks. oh but i think my dream trip is to gather some friends, road trip, and rent a house in the mountains or something for a week and just ... chill together.

something i want: i'm actually reasonably content right now / mainly want things i can slowly work toward (beyond some larger things i have limited control over) but i guess one thing i want is some magical insight that will tell me how to dress in a way that uses clothes i already have AND aligns with whatever the hell gender i'm feeling at any given moment

currently reading: oh actually this is timed really well i'm reading a book for the first time this year! it is haruki murakami's what i talk about when i talk about running which i am reading for, surprise surprise, narrative!fic purposes. it's great and honestly really cool to read as someone working through their first long writing project + starting to do long-distance running at the same time.

last song: 红豆 by faye wong

last series: i'm actually in the middle of a bunch of different shows because anime series are so short i simply cannot keep finishing shows lol but most recent ep i watched is from shirobako my beloved anime about anime production

last movie: oh god i don't know the last time i watched a movie myself. it would be whatever last inceptiversary watchparty i went to... 10 things i hate about you

sweet/spicy/savory: oh savory. but i'm growing partial to spicy chip actually

currently working on: narrative!fic lol. oh, and my character for an rpg i'm starting!

Time: 9:07pm

tagging @swimmingseafish @frogiwi @queuebird @dogsongs @zrllosyn @syncopatedid @spectralcentroid if you want to! no pressure tho hehe

[sword-brainrot]

Oh, um! May I request a matchup? I know these can be draining to do so feel free to skip me if you want!!

So, um hi! Im a 19 yo translation student! Everyone uses she/her when talking to me, but you can use whatever you like, I dont mind pronouns! Im really shy and kinda anxious when talking to people, but I'm completely see-through ;; cant tell a lie to save my life haha Im super curious abt practically anything and I love to learn new things! When I have to get work done, I make sure it looks shiny and perfect! (even tough I procastinate on it until there's almost no time left,,,,) I prefer indoors because loud sounds make me somewhat panicky??;;;; and in my free time I play games, learn useless stuff and sleep... y'know, the usual ^^;

As for what I'd like in a parter.... I want someone who cares about me ;; I know it may be a bit too much but I guess I can dream right? :') As for myself,,,, idk id be a completely mess ;; Im good at listening I think! but when it comes to affection Im at a loss and I just get embarrassed,,,, I blush at everything and when Im put in a spot I try to laugh it off ;;

Um, also... Im sure you already noticed but I have some self issues so you may want to take this into consideration???? maybe???? Im sorry I had to bring this up;;; i tought it could help you get a better picture of myself haha???? uuu;; (um also i apologize for this huge wall of text, i know its all over the place.... dont know how to organize it;;;;)

Oh, and I don't care about sword types nor I have a preference! I love all the slashy boys equally ♡

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it 💖💖

Oh I would never skip your request! If I ever get drained, I would take a small break. I wanna do your requests dear! Feel free to request as much as you want, I have a blast whenever I can write and make someone smile because of it. Don't worry about bothering me or anything, seeing requests always makes me smile and excited to write 💖���

I Match You With...

🌸 Ishikirimaru 🌸

♡  Ishikirimaru is a very calm and friendly guy, he would understand very well how scary social interaction can be for some people. He would never push you too far and make sure he knows your limits. He would offer you to have tea with him or help him clean just so you both can bond together and let you know what he does want to be around you. He doesn't mind if you don't talk much because you are shy! Ishikirimaru doesn't talk too much in general but doesn't mind starting the conversation and having a short discussion about things that may interest you or your thoughts on things.

♡  Don't worry about ever making him angry or annoyed, it is very hard to do that. He is very easy going and cares a lot about other people. The only way he would ever get actually angry at you is if you say something insensitive about how people's lives in war don't matter or something along those lines. He was a sword kept in a temple that often got prayed to for healing the warriors who came back from battle with deadly wounds. That is the only thing that would actually get under his skin. He cares a lot about the people around him and even the people he doesn't know, he prays for all of their well beings. Even yours. He cares about you a lot as well and will tell you often that you matter to everyone. He is aware that you would never say something to upset him on purpose. As long as the two of you talk it out and apologize to each other, he will forget it even happened. He wouldn't let one slip of the tongue to ruin the relationship.

♡  He tries hard to make sure he never upsets anyone and thinks over his words carefully, but even he makes mistakes and words don't come out how they planned. He will make the most effort to apologize and make sure his words didn't hurt you badly. If they did, he would spend hours on end talking it out and making sure you know that he would never mean anything that would hurt you. He cares about you a lot and your smile is his favorite.

♡  Ishikirimaru might be a little pushy when you talk badly about yourself. He loves everything about you and it hurts him when you think you are lesser than everyone. He will often try to stop you before you go too far with talking down upon yourself and give you plenty of compliments, even if they embarrass you. He wants you to know that you are deserving of love and that you are much better than you give yourself credit for. You have your own talents and people cherish you for being you. They want you in their life because you are you.

♡  "Aruji, I haven't been human long but I understand that being human is a complicated task. The mind can be a cruel one and the deadliest thing to our souls. My words may not mean much but please trust me when I say that you like you for you. You will see things you do not like about yourself because you are stuck with yourself constantly so you will pick up things that others will not. We are all hard on ourselves. Life is even worse on us. So take a deep breath and let yourself receive a little kindness. You deserve it. You give out so much to everyone so you need to know that it is okay to love things about yourself and be proud of who you are. You will make mistakes and not everyone will be your friend but that is okay, because you are human and you have your own life. Surround yourself with people that will love and appreciate you for who you are now. I love and appreciate you for who you are, aruji. So.. Don't be so hard on yourself, alright? It hurts my fragile heart when I see you beat yourself up for small mistakes. It's okay to stumble at times, just get up again... okay? I'll lend you my hand as well."

♡  As you can tell, Ishikirimaru is a very good listener. His whole life as a sword was to listen to those of the pained and give guidance. Even if he couldn't exactly do that in his sword form, he can do that now! He will listen to everything you have to say. Don't be shy to ramble to him. He will give you a happy smile as he listens. Tell him about the things that make you happy, what make you angry, what makes you laugh, and what makes you sad. Ishikirimaru will be right by your side, offering tea and a shoulder if you need it. You aren't alone and he will make sure you know that you don't have to face these thoughts alone.

♡  Just as how you are see through and can't lie, Ishikirimaru has a similar issue. He has a very hard time ever lying and chooses to never lie. The only time he will lie is if it is to protect others. He will often put himself in the painful position in missions so others don't have to face the hardship. He tries to not do it often because he knows that people care about him and he doesn't have to face things alone, but he would rather not see anyone sad if he can help it!

♡  He finds your embarrassed face the cutest thing in the world. Don't be scared to tell him to stop if the compliments become too much for you to handle! He will laugh it off and apologize for going too far with his comments. As stated above, he doesn't lie. So just know that every compliment he gives you is a very sincere comment that he means with his whole heart. Ishikirimaru doesn't need much affection, as long as you show that you simply care about him, he is happy. He would like to hold your hand from time to time but otherwise, he wouldn't force you to do anything you don't wish to do. Go at your own pace in the relationship, he won't rush you!

♡  Ishikirimaru will tell you anything you wish to learn! He might not have a library of knowledge of the past due to being stuck in a shrine for most of his life but he had also studied and learned about the history he came from. If you take an interest in his prayers and religion, he would gladly tell you all the tales he is aware of and teach you the cleansing sermon he often does to give positive spiritual energy. It is something that brings him peace of mind and makes him happy to talk about, so if you are willing to learn about what makes him who he is today and what makes him happy, he would be overjoyed to share all his knowledge to you.

♡  He understands very well the appeal of getting work done to the best of your ability and making it look the best you can. He wouldn't label himself a perfectionist but he does want to do the best he can. Often with cleaning. You will often see him stuck in a room all day because he wants to make sure it is spotless before he comes out and continues work else where. Though... by the time he is done... It is dinner time. Perhaps the two of you could work together and get work done to the point you are both happy with it.

♡  Ishikirimaru is also someone who happens to stay inside for the most part. The only time he goes outside would be to enjoy tea in the sun or if he has to work the field/horse keeping. Ishikirimaru is a very soft spoken and gentle man so you don't have to worry about him every raising his voice and scaring you. If there is ever a loud noise, whether it is other swords or a storm outside, he will gently hold your hand and try to calm you down. He will assure you that it's okay to not like loud noises but he will make sure that nothing hurts you. He will even try to lead you away to somewhere that may be a little more quiet. Giving you a distraction to get your mind off the noise. He wants nothing more than you to feel comfortable and safe.

♡  Depending on the game, he may want to play with you! He tends to like card games even though he is very easy to read and often loses. He tends to laugh about it after when he realizes that he was accidentally showing his hand every time he set down his cards to get a sip of tea. If it's video games, he would prefer to just watch you play and talk to you while you enjoy the game. He isn't the biggest fan but still enjoys to watch! Ishikirimaru is a pretty good teacher! So if you wish to study with him, he would be flattered that you wished to study with him out of everyone. He is very understanding that some material is hard to memorize out of no where. He would just softly correct you and tell you to work on it a little more. He rewards you with sweets every time you do really well on any test he gives you to test how much you remember.

♡  Ishikirimaru would be the most understanding and gentle partner. He wants nothing more than you being comfortable and happy. He would work hard on you slowly forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and love yourself a little more. He would never give up on you and be there if you ever needed.

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

    ��     He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

[rabble-dabble]

oh hey, thanks for tagging me! i really appreciate it XDD

fav colour: i usually can't decide on a favorite colour (depends on what I'm feeling) so today I'll say that deep sapphire blue that would look shimmery in a light.

currently reading: i haven't read it in a while (and i ususally read ao3 fics of whatever current interest i have) but right now it's the Matched series, the second book, Crossed! It's a set of books i kept when my highschool was giving out old books for my senior year, and i like them a bit.

last song: the most recent song i listened to was from a television show, criminal minds, and the tune kinda captured me because it was so pretty. The original is called The Smile of a Child, but I liked the show's cover of it too.

last movie: i think the most recent movie ive watched was Encanto? It's a nice movie, and the Bruno song keeps getting stuck in my head lol.

sweet/savory/spicy: i'm a sweet person first, savory second, and spicey last. i love love LOVE sweet stuff!!! i mean, i also like spicy stuff but if i was given the option i'd choose sweet over spicy, i kinda avoid spicy otherwise.

currently working on: i wish i could say i was working on something, lol! i just do art doodles every day, otherwise i'm waiting for my computer to get set up in my house. i guess the @hs-crocker-au blog is a project i could mention, altho its kinda on hold until i can draw digitally again lol.

and like you, im prolly just gonna discard the rules! anyone who follows me is free to reblog this and join in. thanks again for tagging me!

got tagged by @windmills2 ! thank you so much! it was such a cool surprise!

there was a monster of a chain post but i chickened out and decided to not reblog it :')

fave color: it's always been particularly difficult for me to settle on just one because i kind of measure my favorite colors in palettes, but for the sake of this game let's say gray. cool gray in particular

currently reading: haha oh how i wish to get back into reading. well, uh. my german textbook i guess? D:

last song: Pet Grief — The Radio Dept. (btw love it and btw i WILL smile and press my palms to my cheeks and remember it forever if you listen to a song i like.)

last movie: something from the twilight saga that me and my cousin decided to watch for the first time. hhh.

sweet/savory/spicy: spicy foods my absolutely beloved. but i also really really love milk chocolate

working on: houhh sadly and tragically nothing big as of rn, i have no energy these days. at the time of tagging i was translating a hs fanart piece (coolest pesterlog illustrations love it so much), and currently, well, there's several art wips, one of them is a phone wallpaper my cousin asked to draw for her. oh, also i've got acrylics for painting on fabric recently and now i'm trying to make it all of my clothes' problem

according to the rules i have to tag 9 people that i want to get to know better, but.

@sootpologist @sootinsand @multifariousmayhem @quatari @matou-sakura @rabble-dabble @caliginousquadrant @autisticsupervillain @morganapendragon @dreamingdeadly @diciusnestea @angelicaether @unbreakmyhead @facetiousbootylicious @icarusmidfall @catboy--slim @petscopstoner

i broke the rules and tagged more people because i'd like to know more about all of you, you intriguing individuals with interesting blogs you. but! no pressure to participate at all. i know tag games are not everyone's cup of tea