#im still me

[selfishdissatisfaction]

as my edges fray

amongst green hills and blue skies

my skin is static

[beatrixluv]

I CHANGED MY USERNAME

GUYS IM STILL ME IM JUST HUGH JACKMAN ENTHUSIAST NOW PLS DONT FORGET ME!!!

I WAS PREVIOUSLY JASON TODD ENTHUSIAST BTW

im gonna tag my mutuals so they see this

@brokenart-jukebox @le0ni318 @tedsy @jmikhailov

srry if you didnt wanna be tagged bc you didnt care but i wanted to be considerate!

[a-fast-rebloger]

As soon as I finish ALiF I will write a gelphie that is so domestic, just you wait

[julia-bonkers]

i am ab to re-choose a heading nd pfp so do NOT be alarmed ppl

[smky-gourgeist]

Avatar change

[lixzwithapen]

Ive never been so happy to be sober guys. The meds + caffeine is a great combo to keep me relatively capable.

Glad to "be back"

[tired-eyes-cold-as-ice]

a change has occurred

be not afraid

[plutoisaplanet0]

I’m ready for my mutuals not recognizing me because I changed my blog theme

[heirofnepeta]

mmmm having completely different personalities loaded up in the back of your mind for your side blogs is fun :)

one moment I'm Wynn the depressed loser/lover from Tennessee.

the next I'm Veasro Eagher the rust blooded troll on Alternia who speaks 3xclus1vly 1n l33t sp34k.

then the next I'm a mysterious cat-boy wizard from an unknown continent/world/universe.

then I'm back to me.

its not really multiple personalities, just like, being able to quick swap on the fly.

[c0rpseductor]

now this lestat c0rpseductor clown, i'm gonna block him. but lestat 2010ingraves? great guy

[crymeariveronceagain]

ITS SPOOKY SEASON NOW

im FEELING THE VIBES

new pfp!!!

NEW SITE VIBES!!!

[chaotic-but-still-going]

So yall I think I am Genderfluid...an update incase anyone pays attention to my blog

Anyways I am going to try going by Francis now because that was my sister's name.

[wkemeup]

woops I updated my icon 😅

[the-acid-pear]

I should sleep instead of having an existential crisis

[i-hate-my-faerie-wings]

a year ago

09.24.18

This school year I was chosen to represent our school for the upcoming innovation program. It sucks because i feel like i don't deserve it. I feel like they run out of options, so they have to stick with me.

I'll admit it. I'm not that smart. I'm just an average student. Nothing more, nothing less.

I do wonder why they choose me when there's a lot of deserving candidates who are much likely to do well. I'm not saying this just because I'm a pessimist or whatsoever. I'm saying this because It's pretty obvious.  The way the teachers talk about it. About how they wanted someone to be in such position, talking in front of me.

It sucks because i think i'm not worthy enough. They shouldn't have chosen me in the first place. What should I do? Now, that we started our meetings every after class.

< and now, it’s all still the same >

09.14.19

There's nothing more terrifying when I started to realize how little I become and the so called "life" that i put effort to is just...idunno it's so wide that i can't almost grasp it.

Loneliness and yearning for the "unknown" is something that kept me awake these past few days. I seek for something that i didn't know at the first place. Sometimes, I wonder if everything i did was okay or fine.

Am I okay?

It's been a while since i've asked that to myself. I  almost forgot that I, myself, is my own person. No one asked me though...unless i start to submerged myself in to the world of art which they've called madness.

I know I'm hard to deal with. This personality will always do me harm and nothing comes great from it. I always messed up and harm my good relationship with people whom I want to be with.

But at the end of the day, I get tired. I always get tired. Even  happiness is tiresome. I don't wanna get tired to the people who've brought colors to my dull canvas.

No, I am not okay. I want to scream and shout all my frustrations about my situation right now. I don't know if it's okay to hate my life here in the city. The frustration that you have to get up alone and walk alone. Prepare everything alone. Clean everything alone. Cry alone. And all these thoughts consume me all alone.

I hate how my roommate smells. I hate how dirty our floor is. I hate...I hate it so much.

I hate how my stomach growl every morning. I always hate that i want to vomit every time I eat. I hate it. I hate how stupid I am for not doing enough to save myself. I hate how my stupidity leads me to write these stuffs.

But I can't complain and yet, here I am...i did. I just have to kept them inside me. I just have to in order to avoid complications. I have to.

I have no choice but to move forward and keep on going. This commitment is something  I can't turn down and turn back. I just to re-establish my life again and take things with more assurance.

I'm just grateful that I have a friend whom I can always talk to...even though she got something on her own too. I'm so selfish for telling her my problems, uggghhh bothering people like that...whyyyy?

I should be able to handle it. Like I always did...before.

[taliasburns]

me logging into tumblr for the first time in weeks: who the F is this

i am ................ so fucking SORRY ASKJFDHSKHF

its me fleur. ur neighbourhood idiot and useless lesbian