#im still alive even tho I barely post

[briannaloveme]

I am still alive and insane <3

I GOT MYSELF AN ITA BAG AND PUT AETHER AND CHILDE. I FEEL SO SJDJJEJS. No words can express how I'm going crazy over it.

I wanna make a Xiaoaether version too and also a Scara if he had a nui. But crying.. so cute.

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Quitting Weed Day 9 Status Report 📝

to start off , i'll say, i do indeed feel like Ass ! this post might get a tad emo. regretting my life choices to smoke for as long as i have 😕 But then again, maybe that's harsh, cus i was just doing the best i could with the circumstances i been dealt in the past.

i couldnt just quit cold turkey cus every time i try that its way too intense and i alwaus end up going back. So the past 9 days i've been hitting my (extremely weak) weed cart a couple times a night, only after 9pm, just to help me sleep. Before that i was smoking probly like. 5-8 bowls a day, followed by hitting the weed pen RELENTLESSLY all night until i passed out. So its still been a huge change lol. From tonight onwards tho i'm done w the weed pen and ready to try 0 thc 🙏

kind friend @palmceader sent me a CBD tincture made for sleep (thanku again 🥹) which im sure has a TINY percentage of thc, but nothing even close to how much im used to.

i cant even imagine how fried my dopamine receptors are, cus honestly, i feel Fucked. spaced out is an understatement. i cant focus on anything and its kinda driving me insane. it feels impossible to read or draw or do any of my hobbies.. my body feels heavy and depressed. No motivation. its kinda the opposite of what i was expecting. i can barely keep my eyes open during the day..

on a brighter note i havent been struggling too much with sleep or appetite. i think sleepy time tea + the tincture + magnesium is rly helping. my dreams recall is already improving so much, and the times i have nightmares arent as bad as its been previous times i tried to quit. i havent rly struggled with cravings at all either, which used to be a huge obstacle for me ! im just so over it now. i was starting to get chest pains and coughing a lot, which was taking any joy out of the act of smoking for me.

morbid to say but I often think of my father and how his rampant addictions directly lead him to such a painful and horrific early death. its a rare perspective of imagery so disturbing , i know i can't go on in such a manner. Like, what a fucking fool i would be! For others i can understand it but for me, no. it has haunted me for a long time to know i'm letting myself go down that path, even with all my insistent self-justification that his death is what brought me to this in the first place. deep down ive been knowing i need to break the cycle like i have the choice and the power, im still alive im still here ..

Sorry if thats depressing to bring up! i do feel depressed tho. i cant use weed to hide from my pain anymore.. i have to rewire my whole ass method of coping with stress at age 30. i know i can do it but its gonnnna be a long winded process full of ups n downs. Running away is no longer an option and thats a lot to face! a lot of old wounds i never rly dealt with, cus i kept my head in the 💨clouds💨 for so long.

i promise not to give up this time tho no matter how hard it gets 🙏 i want to set a good example too like indunno a lot of younger ppl follow me now i dont wanna feed into narratives that may influence them in bad directions. i have a responsible heart. i rly dont think weed is cool i havent since i was like 16. i was just dependent on it so i tried to romanticisze its role in my life. its silly.

im kinda laughing now cus im like god, i initially felt like the reason im quitting is so i can be more active in my dream world, but the more i think about it the more i notice MANY many more reasons to quit that go way deeper.

All in all the reason im talking about it is to maybe inspire other ppl who have been on the verge of quitting but too afraid to rly take the plunge-- Ur not alone, ur not weak for being addicted, if u need to reach out to me u are more than welcome.

Ppl rly downplay weed addiction cus the withdrawals arent life threatening like other substances, but that doesnt mean its a walk in the park. Most ppl i know who are stoners have never been able to quit for similar reasons as me. It takes a major psychological hold over u. if u ever need to vent about it or need advice, im here!

if u read all of this, pls dont worry abt me xD Even if it feels miserable rn i have faith things will improve, the heaviness and brainfog will lift, the emotions will be purged, i am excited for my future. One day at a time....Dont giving up 🙏

Signed, PMD9

[muikitoo]

~You leave Muichiro..~

im so incredibly sorry i havent posted any fics :( i ran out of ideas and im currently trying to find any possible ideas for fics😥

"And i will gladly break it, i would gladly break my heart for you..~" —Sweet by CAS

You and Muichiro werent currently doing so good. Always being stressed out and fights almost every other day werent making the situation any better. You would try to be patient with him, tho you felt like he didnt even care. He barely put any effort. Yea he was stressed and had other hashira things to do but how come the other hashiras had plenty of time and he didnt? You honestly got sick of it. He didnt understand you or your feelings.

One day you finally decided to meet up. You were honestly so done with him, you loved him and theres no doubt about that. You loved him so much it was crushing you. You didn't feel cared for, you knew he still loved u but it hurt regardless.

"Hey. You wanted to meet up?" You heard a familiar voice behind you.

"Yea, I did. I needed to talk to you about something." You said, nervousness starting to bubble inside of you as you turned around to face the mist hashira.

He waited patiently before you started to speak again. "I want to break up with you. Don't get me wrong, i still love you. I do. But im sick and tired of trying to wait for you. I dont feel loved or cared for, i know it seems stupid bc youre stressed and have duties, but how come even all the other hashiras have time and you suddenly dont? I know you care, but sometimes i even doubt that. Do i even cross your mind at all? I'm sorry Muichiro, but i think this is best for both of us."

He felt his heart being ripped apart. He had a feeling this would happen, since youve been distant with eachother. He stood there, his mouth slightly opening to say something.

"Okay, if thats what you want." He regretted saying that. But he didnt know what else to do in a situation like this. You scoffed as you started to walk away, he stood there, silently watching until you were out of his sight. He felt his breath hitching, eyes starting to water. He really messed up. And he knew it. Muichiro did care and he loved you more than anything. He was so overwhelmed with the recent missions he's been getting, and on top of that his memories from his past were eating him alive. You were the only reason he wanted to hang on. But now you were gone too.

He slowly turned around as he began to walk away, tears falling down his cheeks.

The next few months were hellish. The mist hashira was a wreck and it was obvious. He tried to forget you like always, but every time he saw you the gut-wrenching feeling would always return. Heck even the hashiras noticed and tried their best to find ways to cheer him up.

All he could do now was watch from a distance as you got closer each day to another demon slayer, Tanjiro Kamado. Honestly, Muichiro knew the boy could treat you better anyday. And if it meant you would be happy now without him in your life, then he wouldnt mind getting his heart broken. As long as its for you.

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

I just accidentally went down a rabbit hole on this novel I'm writing and wrote an entire chat/thread log for a fake reddit post and unfortunately it's my favorite thing I've written in this whole thing so far

Re: My sister came back wrong

Burnr1883: Guys, I still think it might be possession. Mary’s eyes have been GLOWING. The first couple times I thought it was the light but it’s NOT.

Jamesand: why would that mean possession

Burnr1883: What else goes inside of a human body and shows in their EYES? They’re the window to the soul

Jamesand: mods can we get a reminder about religious talk

Thetruthis0utth3r3: it’s relevant if it really is possession tho

Jamesand: are you joking

Jamesand: this is a SERIOUS sub, guys

Jamesand: if you have actual evidence of possession, fine. but I doubt it

2themountains: you know they don’t have evidence, James.

2themountains: we all know what it really is, anyway.

Burnr1883: I’m looking at every possibility

Jamesand: true. he just doesn’t want to hear it

Jamesand: see you in a week to say I told you so

2themountains: if it’s not already in -your- head by then.

Re: My sister came back wrong

Jamesand: big if

thetruthis0utth3r3: any updates??

Burnr1883: nothing new, yet. She’s been... really normal? Really nice. Nicer than she used to be.

x3sycamore: well, that makes sense since it isn’t her right

Re: My sister came back wrong

Burnr1883: I guess.

Burnr1883: she was in my room last night.

Jamesand: ???????

st0pfrodotime: this sub is getting weird dude

2themountains: what was she doing?

Burnr1883: I don’t know. But I heard her come in.

Burnr1883: I mustve fallen asleep before she left, I don’t remember her walking back out

2themountains: and do you feel any different?

thetruthis0utth3r3: shit man what do you think she did to him?????

Burnr1883: No

Burnr1883: I don’t think so

Burnr1883: Should I? I feel... stupid. Why am I so scared that a 19 year old girl was in my room? I used to have to put bandaids on her because she was always falling over. Why should I be scared of THAT girl?

2themountains: because she’s not that girl anymore.

thetruthis0utth3r3: she isnt even human anymore

Burnr1883: she was just. standing there.

Jamesand: and you’re SURE this actually happened? this isn’t another lucid dreaming post, right??

x3sycamore: I thought this sub was about trusting each other’s stories, james

Jamesand: trust but verify.

Burnr1883: I’m pretty sure

Jamesand: PRETTY sure? 🙄

2themountains: what did you see?

Burnr1883: I barely opened my eyes. I was pretending I was asleep. But I saw a little. I saw her

Burnr1883: Her shadow. Her eyes.

Burnr1883: They were glowing again

Burnr1883: yellow

Burnr1883: so yellow

Burnr1883: I thought she was moonlight at first. It was a full moon

Burnr1883: and then I saw her open her mouth

2themountains: and her mouth?

st0pfrodotime: ???????

st0pfrodotime: WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO AFTER ALL THAT

Burnr1883: If I put my webcam on tonight

Burnr1883: would anyone watch the livestream?

Burnr1883: just... just in case

x3sycamore: shit man of course

Re: My sister came back wrong

Burnr1883: I think she might be an angel

Jamesand: mods.

x3sycamore: aint nothing angelic about those things, burner

Burnr1883: she’s just like Mary, but better

Burnr1883: she used to be so angry

2themountains: don’t trust anything that won’t let you see it get angry.

Burnr1883: it’s like she’s been cleansed

Thetruthis0utth3r3: or like she’s lying to you

x3sycamore: turn on your webcam again tonight

x3sycamore: we’ll watch you

Burnr1883: you don’t need to do that anymore

Jamesand: sycamore, you’re not allowed to ask for pictures or footage

x3sycamore: fuck man can’t you ease off the rules for two seconds no one’s asking for nudes or face pics im trynna keep a man alive

Burnr1883: she won’t hurt me

x3sycamore: burner that thing is NOT your sister

Burnr1883: she’s perfect

thetruthis0utth3r3: yeah, like only an anglerfish is perfect to the thing that needs light

x3sycamore: don’t let the parasite trick you, man, you’ve read everything on the forums you know better than this

x3sycamore: Burner????

x3sycamore: @Burnr1883

x3sycmore: @Burnr1883 @Burnr1883 

2themountains: he’s gone.

Re: My sister came back wrong

2themountains: let him go.

x3sycamore: Burner? Any updates??

thetruthis0utth3r3: you dont actually expect him to answer do you

thetrutis0utth3r3: it’s been 2 days already

x3syacmore: 2 days is nothing. He could have logged off.

thetruthis0utth3r3: it’s not nothing when you’re living with one of them

x3sycamore: he didn’t leave the sub

thetruthis0utth3r3: yeah well that’s not usually dead people’s priority

x3sycamore: what are you trying to say

thetruthis0utth3r3: come on, don’t play dumb

Jamesand: some people just don’t want to hear the truth

2themountains: soon, no one’s gonna be able to play dumb

thtruthis0utth3r3: they’re really coming, aren’t they

Jamesand: they’re here

2themountains: this sub is growing. the news is finally starting to talk all about those mysterious “disappearances” and “sicknesses”

2themountains: forget about Burner. worry about who it’s gonna be next.

x3sycamore: Burner?

Re: My sister came back wrong

x3sycamore: any updates, buddy?

x3sycamore: burner?

[noellashes]

hiiiiiiii! feel free to ignore this ask but what do you like about noelashe? :0 I really like them too but I don't exactly know why myself... the parallels perhaps? the care? the potential? either way, I'm asking you how you feel about them! And I hope you have a wonderful day! :)

so so sorry for the late response but

anon you don't understand how long ive been waiting for someone to ask me this exact question

this may be extremely long depending on how much i feel like talking about so i apologize

spoilers inbound after this point!!

there are many, many reasons ive fallen in love with them and their dynamic, but ill try to condense them into a more readable format

the sections will be as follows:

 their parallels and how they compliment each other

their kindness and affection towards each other

how they treat the other differently to the others in the mansion

more surface level dynamic things i like

the things that got me attached to them in the first place

parallels!

i feel like every noelashe fan understands their parallels somewhat but im insane so im gonna go in depth

they match and contrast each other in so so many different ways, down to even design (i actually made a post about that before it shouldnt be too hard to find)

their personalities are one thing, energetic and tired, extroverted and introverted, loud and shy, cruel and kind, fake and genuine, manipulative and naïve, i could go on but thatd be WAY too long so i'll just mention these

but thats just on the surface, they actually match each other a LOT more than you think

how ashe is more introverted than what meets the eye, not liking people out of distrust, and noel being tons more talkative and social, adoring people and barely being able to hate anyone

noel being smarter than he appears, willing to lie and manipulate for what he wants, and ashe being really easy to fool sometimes, immediately believing anything he thinks can bring back his family

and of course the obvious, their wishes

the same wish, the same pain, they go through such similar trauma with different ways of dealing with it

or so you think, their coping is very similar and this is acknowledged in sirius's conclusion, the only real difference being if theyre violent or not. noel, has sworn off harming people but he's still not above using backhanded methods for his goals. ashe, despite doing awful things for his wants, still has noble(ish) reasons for why he does these things

neither are entirely innocent, but neither are completely guilty

they both just want the people they care for to live peacefully, alive

but both do some pretty fucked up things for this wish, noel lies to sirius and uses dorothy as a ploy, ashe well- i think we all know. ashe commits multiple varied crimes that range from theft to murder and noel's own negligence can be considered a crime in some cases.

they have an understanding no one else does and it creates a lot of interest towards them and develops them as individuals too

kindness

they care so much for each other its insane

noel has trouble seeing ashe as anything but kind and ashe cant help but feel attached to noel even if he doesnt want to, which makes them get close each time and it makes them feel for each other a LOT more than they need to

the times where noel is sick and ashe takes care of him, ashe saying he lied so noel wont feel bad, noel letting ashe confide in him and ashe even trusting him enough to say his worries in the first place, the list goes on

they just have an instant bond bc they want someone to care and help them (even if both have trouble admitting it) and they want to help each other, which just makes them care more

it always ends in kindness between the two and it's one of the ways we get a happy ending

special treatment

i could put this in the kindness section but i think it deserves its own section bc its so damn cute

it does have a little less to go over tho as it doesn't happen much

im also gonna start adding screenshots and such

noel seems to really admire ashe and his abilities so much more than anyone else its adorable

hes so amazed by him literally just cooking and he doesnt comment on anything to do with precise stuff that isnt smth ashe does, i may be wrong but i dont think ive ever seen him comment on smth like sirius drawing talismans which is highly specific but will ALWAYS think about how impressed he is with ashe

he also just

treats ashe in a similar way to claire, like he just casually says ashe saved him which is such a strong word to him with no thought and he LITERALLY SAYS HE TRUSTS HIM UNCONSCIOUSLY BC HE REMINDS HIM OF CLAIRE if that doesnt say smth i dont know what does

and ashe always opens up to noel so much more than anyone else like noel has gotten ashe to talk about himself unlike anyone else, the only other character he talked to about things was claire (technically sirius too but he was drunk off his ass so im not counting it) and that was like once he doesnt even say anything that isnt surface level

ashe also just refuses to harm noel and i dont think anyone has noticed this before

it makes sense if his killings are during the day bc noel literally just isnt there but some other times he has no excuse

HE MOVES TO THE SIDE HERE EVEN IF WHERE HE WAS STANDING GAVE HIM A CLEARER SHOT TO CLAIRE YOU CANT TELL ME IT WASNT SO HE DELIBERATELY MISSES NOEL

ALSO HE COULDVE TRIED AGAIN OR GONE AFTER HIM BUT NO HE JUST GOES "missed one!" AND CALLS IT A DAY IF THATS NOT PROOF HE DOESNT WANNA HURT NOEL I DONT KNOW WHAT IS

surface level things

as much as i love the incredible lengths of their relationship, i also like more simple things that im just gonna put into a little list

theyre so sun and moon guys

BLACK CAT AND GOLDEN RETRIEVER BFS

their color palettes look nice together

babygirl and wet cat

loves to cook and fucking awful at cooking

smartass x dumbass

mutual healing

their symbols being hearts and stars those look so cute together

"i care about you!!" "why??", mutually

little bitch and sweetheart

both are affectionate but neither can handle it

emotionally repressed x the one who wants them to grow again

bfs who rant about their interests

same trauma

very strange guy x doesnt care

"im a disgusting monster" "HOW?"

the black and white good evil thing is very aesthetically pleasing for them

angel and devil (kinda)

why i fell in love with them

theres a lot of reasons why i love them but theres a few very specific things that got me attached

most obvious is that theyre both my favorites, im extremely attached to ashe and i loved him from the start, i didnt start liking noel until a tiny bit later but he very quickly gained my love

i also relate to them both heavily so seeing them care so much for each other gave me comfort

its a huge pattern that most of my ships are of the character i got immediately attached to and relate to and other character i relate to who cares about the first character

the fate line. its just so gay i was like "thats kinda gay" and while i didnt always think of it like it was super important it always stuck in my head like "yeah i could ship them"

but the real thing that started this all was the wine scene

its when i realized how much they cared for each other and then the floodgates opened, and here we are now!!

its still by far my favorite scene of the two it just makes me so happy its so adorable

conclusion

i have an extreme love for noelashe and just seeing them can make my entire mood better

i dont think many people have analyzed them as much as me so its sad to see how much stuff with them goes unnoticed

theyre genuinely so great for each other, platonic, romantic or anything in between, they deserve to be happy with each other

im so sorry for this being so long and maybe really hard to understand but i adore them so much

if you read this all thank you so much!! have a great day

[irregulardiaryposts]

01:37 16/02/2023

Well... its obvs been a while since i updated huh. reading back on some of those .. some of its nice ig and some of it is quite articulate but looking back on some of it with my perspective now, idk its sad but also a little cringe lol. but thats the point of a diary to keep it cringe and truthful to how im feeling in the moment. well anyway

its 2023 woooo im in my second year of uni and things are pretty okay i guess. im still a litlte lonely dont get me wrong but im sure things will get better. um. ive got an essay due at midnight on the 16th (technically today) and im like a third through it? but the first 1/3 is the easiest part cos its just explaining the concepts. anyway im behind on a lot of uni work. for no reason. at all. like theres no good reason behind it other than i need medicated i guess. maybe i really should get meds im an adult now so im hoping they can. its genuinely really affecting my uni performance i cant get out of bed most days during the winter cos its so so cold. why is the world so so cold. my feet are also so so cold. can you tell im procrastinating :P unis still lonely but also i barely go anyway so what would i know anyway. i got some hobbies i guess. anime has revived my want for a tumblr blog so in november i made a new blog for anime ToT. its fun tho i really do enjoy it its so fun and silly and i can be as insane as i want to over fictional characters. better than twitter by a mile cos well yeah. it has also reignited my want to make art, cos then i can post it and other people who are also insane about the same characters can enjoy it too. even if its kinda bad idgaf. the whole 'oh shit two cakes' meme constantly runs through my head.

ahh anyway i also like playing video games too, or ig the difference is i have the money to buy them and a decent laptop to run them on. so that helps fill the void of community im missing. i really miss people. and im a huge introvert for the most part (unless im drunk but shhhh) but i miss not being in my room 24/7. i guess the theme of this update is i need meds ToT. not that it will necessarily be a perfect solution sometimes theyre not but ig it doesnt hurt to talk to a doctor about it. that depends on if i can actually get an appt ahhhhh. i dont have too much to talk about ig just that im alive and barely staying afloat but not actively suicidal so *thumbs up*. i really do need to write this essay i would dislike to get an extension because then i would just put it off again until next week lol. im such a good procrastinator :D this definitely isnt detrimental to my non-existent work ethic.

maybe i can talk about something thats itching at me from my philosophy course. my essay isnt exactly on this topic but i rlly wanna formulate some thoughts on it lol.

so we're talking about what exists in the world right? things people would easily say exist are things like tables, chairs, frogs, dogs, atoms and molecules. things that are a little harder to figure out if they exist are things like love, morality, goodness, numbers, gender. the lists are not exhaustive but that kind of thing. and there's this concept of Ordinary Objects(OO) and Extraordinary Objects(EO). the first list has almost all OO, which are defined as being highly visible objects right before our eyes (that do not escape our notice). the atoms and molecules make things tricky in philosophy as nothing can ever, ever, be simple in this subject. anyway. EO are objects that are also highly visible objects that do escape our notice. you're thinking how can an object, a physical object, that is so obviously in front of us, escape our notice??? well you're not alone in thinking philosophy just makes up things along with justifications of said things just for shits and giggles, and calls it a day, cos that's exactly what i thought when i heard this the first time. and genuinely so much of philosophy is just postulating and theorising about this thing and that thing but its done with such earnestness and sincerity that i get endeared by these stupid dead guys. ANYWAY. the existence of EO are obviously controversial (of course) and even OO are argued too. but yes what are EO exactly? the example given in the reading was a Trog - an object that is composed of a dog and a tree trunk. no, they are not connected in any way, and no they don't even have to be near each other but they can compose this object called a Trog. this is what you can call an EO. it is highly visible (assuming the dog isn't microscopic and the tree is not invisible) and it is right before our eyes yet we never notice it. well of course, who would? but the question is do EO really exist or is it a baseless theory. well...

another example of an

[thatjadedhotmess]

what have they done?

pairings/characters: pantalone x gn!reader and arlecchino x gn!reader

warnings⚠️: mentions of blood, cuts and wounds, skin to skin contact, angst to fluff

synopsis: anon's description; Hiii<3 can I request angst hcs of how Arlecchino and Pantalone would be if their harbinger s/o went missing for months and when s/o came back s/o seemed like numb and distant? Fluff ending tho pls<333

wc: 1.3k

note: it's much long than I expect heh it's basically a fic at this point .3. I hope u guys enjoy it ++ added notice that I won't be posting as often for the time being as ahh life's getting more busy for me sadly :") as always likes and rbs and notes are all greatly appreciated mwuaks <3

Pantalone (潘塔罗涅)

☁︎︎ He couldn't work properly after finding out that you had gone missing.

☁︎︎ You had gone with him for a dinner together as a celebration of your first anniversary spent together as a couple.

☁︎︎ You had excused yourself to the washroom that evening, kissing his forehead before you left the table, bringing one of his subordinates along with you.

☁︎︎ He only realised that you had gone missing since you hadn't gotten back to the table after 15 minutes. he asked one of his female subordinates to go check up on you only for her to report that you weren't inside the toilet.

☁︎︎ What really confirmed it for him though was a little gem the fatuus brought back. your little gem. One that Pantalone had given to you before going for the dinner as a gift.

☁︎︎ He immediately informs the rest of the harbingers and sends people out to find you.

☁︎︎ Who would've taken you? Why did they take you? Was it because of him? Because of who he is and what he does?

☁︎︎ Why did it have to be you he pondered, lying on your side of the bed. It was cold. It shouldn't be cold. It should be nice, and warm, and filled with you.

☁︎︎ He couldn't function. He couldn't work, he couldn't eat and he couldn't sleep. His once flawless skin now tainted as dark eyebags resided under his eyes.

☁︎︎ He was tired. It's been months since he last saw you and all he can think about is you. Your voice, your smile, your everything.

☁︎︎ So imagine his shock when he was told that you had been found. His mood instantly perked up hearing that though you weren't in good shape, you were alive and you were to be at the medical facility within headquarters by midnight.

☁︎︎ Though, he still couldn't believe what he saw when he stepped into the room you were in.

☁︎︎ Your skin was badly bruised along with cuts and lacerations that looked so very painful. the skin around your wrists especially raw. your hair was in knots and matted, the natural shine they used to have long gone.

☁︎︎ But the most noticeable thing he noticed? The sparkle in your eyes was gone. Now replaced with a distant look as you stared down at your lap while the doctors treated the wounds.

☁︎︎ What in the world did they do to you?

☁︎︎ "Y/n?" he called out softly, your name barely above a whisper as it left his lips, praying that you would respond.

☁︎︎ He didn't like what he saw, that he was going to admit. your glare icy as your brows furrowed when you turned your head to look at who had called out your name. His heart dropped again as he froze, seeing the state you were in on top of the death glare you sent him.

☁︎︎ Though, once you realised it was just pantalone, your eyes softened and your mouth dropping slightly agape, shocked that Pantalone was actually here.

☁︎︎ You pushed yourself of the bed you were on, nearly tripping over yourself as you stumbled into Pantalone's already opened arms.

☁︎︎ "Panta im-" "Darling, please. Please just let me hold you." The both of you crumpled onto the floor, holding each other as tears started to flow.

☁︎︎ Thank tsaritsa you made it back into his arms. Who knows what lengths he would've gone to if he didn't find you.

Arlecchino (阿蕾奇诺)

☁︎︎ Pretends that everything is normal.

☁︎︎ She found out that you had gone missing while on an expedition to inazuma to help with the recovery of signora.

☁︎︎ You had gone along with a few of her other subordinates while she stayed behind, having to finish way too much paperwork and reports from signora's death in a foreign region.

☁︎︎ Due to the distance between snezhnaya and Inazuma, she only received news of your disappearance almost a month after it happened.

☁︎︎ One of her subordinates had personally gone back to snezhnaya to report the devastating news to the Knave herself.

☁︎︎ Sge felt her heart and stomach drop after hearing the news, her hands balling into fists as her subordinate continued with his report on what happened.

☁︎︎ "Me and the others can vouch that y/n was right behind us and-" "Excuses," she spits, "Aren't you guys a team? Why the fuck was y/n left behind? You guys are all aware of what y/n means to me. So tell me, why was y/n of all people the one at the back?"

☁︎︎ The room went dead silent after she finished her sentence, the lower fatui member not daring to say anything, fearing that if he did, he might not live to see the next moment.

☁︎︎ "Send more people out to find y/n immediately if you haven't already done so. I expect your next report on updates to come in within 48 hours."

☁︎︎ She… well… was not ok, at all.

☁︎︎ Everyone could tell that although she was trying to put up a strong front, it was just too obvious that she wasn't doing well in your absence:(

☁︎︎ The dark eye bags under her eyes said a lot, the concealer not doing a good job at hiding them.

☁︎︎ She was drinking much more coffee than she usually would, her hands occasionally trembling while she held a pen after consuming that much coffee.

☁︎︎ But the most noticeable thing that changed about her? Her snappiness. Gone. She didn't have the energy for the little side comments that she normally made when someone said something, even if that someone was Pantalone or Dottore or even Scaramouche who said something in an attempt to piss her off.

☁︎︎ “Whos gonna tell Arlecchino that y/n was found?” her head whipped in the direction of the voice. Surely, she wasn't hallucinating… right? “Y/n’s… back?” she asked unsurely, her lips trembling ever so slightly as she asked, afraid that she had lost her sanity and was starting to hear things.

☁︎︎ “Y-yes my lord. y/n arrived at the gates of the headquarters 10 minutes ago-” the fatui cicin mage stammered, bowing her head slightly as she talked to Arlecchino.

☁︎︎ And oh did she run. A gut feeling that she would somehow bump into you while sprinting like a mad woman through the wintry hallways.

☁︎︎ And find you she did. You were wrapped in a thick fur blanket, sluggishly walking in the direction of her office, a dazed, distant, and cold look in your once warm eyes.

☁︎︎ “Y/n,” she called out, opening her arms as she hugged you, squeezing the life out of you like you would disappear into thin air at any given moment, still in slight disbelief that she had gotten you back. So afraid that this was all just a fever dream and that she would wake up, cold and alone in her bed, again.

☁︎︎ You froze alongside her, having suddenly met her warm embrace. It felt like everything you had gone through was nothing. That's right, being in her embrace was enough. It took you a moment to process what was going on before you felt her warm tears on your shoulder, the both of you collapsing in the middle of the empty hallway, as you cried tears of joy.

☁︎︎ She was no saint with her blood-tainted hands, but oh the things she would go through and do to get you back, back into her arms.

[spearxwind]

Like. okay stay with me for a second yes this is gonna be another hyttd post

pov: you are me, a dragon obsessed 14 year old, super into the whole biology of them thing, and the first movie presents you with: hey, turns out all dragons are different body language wise and even though they all breathe fire all their fires are different etc, and they are portrayed as realistic animals theyre allowed to be weird etc etc etc and im like OH COOL!!!

and then the second movie rolls around and after you get past the initial ooahhh of stoic dying and whatever else happens youre like ok. I didnt learn a single thing about the dragons this time, even tho there were MORE dragons, and they retconned their older lore where the Red Death was holding them hostage to feed itself, so now another dragon we’ve never even heard of before for some reason controls them like theyre bees? And we just never learn how that works either. And furthermore, Valka has all this knowledge of dragons she never shares. you get to see it once or twice when she fucking pressure-point-knockouts a couple of them but you never get any honest to god info like you did in the training arena sections of the first film. But yeah whatwver anyways toothless becomes alpha inexplicably so they re-retcon their own lore in the same movie and youre like, ok i guess

and then the THIRD movie happens and its like. what the fuck? the problem is that there are too many dragons in berk, right? And yet theres barely any dragons in that movie at all. You dont see them act like animals theyre more like, smartass Entities (except for toothless who gets all of his braincells deleted in the favor of being Horny).

Barring everything obviously wrong with the sequels which both I and many others have endlessly harped on for ages already, on a more personal note it feels like the dragons stopped being part of the movies, so to speak. The plot somehow still revolves around them, but they are only important as set pieces. Like the bewilderbeest, or cloudjumper, or god forbid the funny venom guys from hidden world (and the one big horned dragon I guess). They stop being animals with high intellect and defined behaviors and personalities and just become Funny Alive Vehicle. The only ones who ever get development are toothless, kind of, and the main gang at the start of the second film (I think? Though I might be confusing said development with riders of berk. Ill stop here though I feel like im going insane. thanks for reading if you did. like and subscribe for more lukewarm takes)

[yuukei-yikes]

Here’s a Harutaka ask for you! Do you think they’d get married? If yes what do you think their wedding would be like? Also I hope you feel better soon!

HIII if it isnt the little guy i watched slowly get into kagepro. whatsup. how are u holding up being into kagepro. ALSO THANK U im already a lil better i ate 1 single boiled egg and now im laying in bed

yes haruka and takane 10000% get so married. i have this silly headcanon that haruka is begging her from day 1 to get married because IDK he's just excited about being alive and takane liking him💗💗💗 and maybe he is also terrified of her changing her mind abt liking him and for some reason thinks getting married will solve that feeling of feeling not good enough for her💗💗💗 wait who said that. but takane's all like No haruka we're only like 20 and he's like AUUUUGGGHHH!!! fine

honestly its a hc born from a bit in the novels (im not sure u read them) where haruka says man i wish takane stopped swearing so much she's gonna have a hard time finding a husband💔💔💔 ITS SO FUNNY TO ME idk likeeee since he knew he'd die, he never imagined being an adult at all. this is more in the territory of the early twenties crisis he apparently has post str i guess. which is also hilarious.

i think haruka's like... he thinks of marriage of this weird alien thing bc as a teen he wont even entertain the idea of dating or anything bc HES DYING like he literally shoots down the acknowledgement of his feelings for takane BECAUSE he is dying. he's like man whats the fucking point if im just gonna die this sucks ASS

so marriage. well it's an adult thing. and he turns out to be alive!! and takane REALLY LIKES HIM FOR SOME REASON!!! and he's like WELL WERE ADULTS ARENT WE WHY THE HELL SHOULDNT WE GET MARRIED???? takane's like because we're BARELY adults like BARELY. and also IN SO MUCH NEED OF THERAPY. and haruka's like i dont see how that's related🙄🙄🙄 whatever takane ur such a bore🙄🙄🙄 its just a silly argument they laugh and tease each other about *rips hair out* theyre so CUTE AUGGHHH

yeah they do eventually get married. not IMMEDIATELY though but still probably rly young. like before their mid twenties young. LOL!!! as for a wedding i dont think they'd actually care about one??? because haruka and takane are really introverted ppl and being the center of attention mortifies both. well takane's used to attention bc streamer slay but its not. the same. like that's different BASICALLY i dont think takane would care to throw money in something like this and haruka is also like whatever man just sign the paper so i can officially be ur boywife. they still probably have like a little get together with the dan though. maybe they dont even tell them they're like OH BY THE WAY WE DID SOMETHING FUNNY TODAY wjxnoefuoendoefundkc call shintaro&ayano on the phone like can u come with us to sign as our witnesses. and shintaro and ayano are like WITNESSES OF WHAT? erm. haruka&takane engaged for exactly 14 hours when haruka asks takane to marry him for the millionth time and this time she's like uhhh. yeah alright👍

thats my harutaka wedding hc. that theyre too lazy to have a wedding🫡 ayano mourns it so much she's been like wedding planning her whole life for her siblings. seto&mary get ultra married as soon as theyre 18 im not getting into those hcs i already did but ayano goes so crazy with it. and then haruka&takane are next (tho years later) and ayano's like WH?? BUT IM?? SUPPOSED TO PLAN ANOTHER WEDDING????? WHAT DO U MEAN U WONT MAKE ONE???? and theyre like 🤷‍♂️ maybe she forces them and she organizes it alone and forces them to kiss in front of everyone and only then stops being annoying. sorry i love crazed wedding planner ayano

[lunaslovelyrambles]

I can't get over that other scenario where levi's s/o takes a bullet for sasha 😭 can you please do a different scenario where levi's s/o still does take the bullet for sasha but ends up surviving

Plzzzzz (btw I love your posts)

AHH IM SORRY

i’m glad you liked it tho!! even if it made you sad it always makes me feel good to know that you enjoyed it 🤙😩

sort of spoilers for s4 ep8, death/blood

——

levi ackerman

The last thing you expected when you boarded the airship was for something like this to happen. You knew that you’d scold yourself forever over stupidly letting your guard down after stepping foot onto the wooden flooring of the ship.

Well, if you survived, that is.

The last few moments that led to now replayed in your head like a movie. Currently, you were laid out on the floor, blood pooling around you and too much damn noise around you.

But before you happened to be shot in the stomach you remembered being on the airship above Libero, ready to pick up the fellow Scouts from battle.

You also recalled seeing Levi board with Zeke. As he passed by you he shot you a quick glance that you’ve come to know means I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay. And that helped ease your mind despite the intensity and commotion of the day. You wish you could’ve spoken with him at least for a second but he was busy.

You were too. After all you were a part of the Scouts too, assigned to help Hange with plans aboard the actual blimp. It still didn’t help the fact that you were worried sick about the man you loved and just wanted this damn mission to be over.

It wasn’t long before Eren was climbing in, then Mikasa and finally the rest of your comrades.

Seeing them alive and relatively okay made you feel better. You knew there was no way everyone would make it out alive but knowing that the majority of you lived felt.. nice.

You were okay, Levi was okay, and your friends and fellow soldiers were all going to be fine.

Until a young girl with vengeance in her eyes and a loaded gun boarded the ship. You heard the commotion going on behind you and quickly turned only to be met with the barrel of a gun pointed at Sasha.

You couldn’t remember at what point you pushed her out of the way, but you did. And in saving her life you had taken the hit yourself.

“(Y/N)! Stay with us!” Sasha’s voice barely rang into your ears as you lulled back to the present. She was hovering above you, palms a deep crimson from trying to stop your wound from bleeding.

More voices could be heard shouting in the background. Despite them sounding urgent and yelling you could barely hear them. Your entire body was getting tired and you just.. wanted.. sleep.

“Hey..! Keep your eyes open (Y/N)!” a voice you could break recognize as Jean said. But you couldn’t. Your eyelids felt so heavy and the call for sleep was so loud.

Just... a few seconds wouldn’t hurt, right?

Your eyes slid shut and all the noise stopped.

-x-

The next time your eyes open you find yourself in a tent. Odd, you thought, because part of you hoped the afterlife would be a little bit nicer. Still, you couldn’t deny that awakening in a tent brought about some familiarity.

You groan, turning to move to your side to get comfortable only to hiss out in pain. You once again thought this was odd because.. was there supposed pain in the afterlife.

Maybe you weren’t-

“Hey. Stop that you’ll only hurt yourself more.”

The all too familiar annoyed tone with subtle undertones of concern rung out in the tent. When you looked up you saw none other than Levi staring down at you.

You gave him a once over and immediately noticed how tired he was. Sure, in the many years that you’ve known him he rarely ever slept. But he never showed fatigue. You knew that he got a little too good at hiding things like that. Despite that, in this moment, he looked purely and utterly exhausted.

“You don’t look too great yourself either,” you quipped as you sat up fully despite the immense pain in your side.

“It’s not every day that your lover gets shot, nearly bleeds out to death, and then is asleep for several weeks,” he continued to stare down at you, this time with noticeably sadder eyes.

“Weeks? I was..” you brought a hand up to your head as you tried to process it all. But before you could make contact with your head, Levi grabbed your hand and slightly kissed your knuckles.

The action made you stop your train of thought. The amount of time you were asleep for wasn’t the issue right now.

It didn’t matter that you had missed several weeks of your life. Levi had to go several weeks wondering if you would live to tomorrow, if he would maybe get to see you again.

You couldn’t imagine the pain he must be in.

“I’m so sorry. For worrying you for that long. But I’m okay, Levi, and I promise I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” you slightly rubbed his thumb now with the hand he took earlier. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he chose to relish in the feeling of your skin against his.

It was warm.

He sighed heavily and he could feel the biggest weight lifted off of his shoulders. He gripped your hand ever so slightly as he gave you a rare, sincere smile.

“Thank you, (Y/N)... For staying.”

——

masterlist || rules page

-> requests are open!

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. im sorry but wasn't it said fairly early even hades knew persephone was a fertility goddess? like everyone knew she was as a goddess of spring so shes also was also fertility, thats why ppl questioned her being in the maidens (bc obvs fertility is mainly sex in this universe 😑) so i dont get why it was retconned its some big secret and some rare OP status? like it was not built up and was a p clear example of rachel just making stuff up as she goes.

2. truly glad for the anti lo posts bc if not the lo tag is literally nothing but bad edits and weird spam posts. yall are the only ones keeping the tags alive. where are the fans tho 💀

3. why is everyone a joke in this comic

From OP: No clue lol

4. You know what still baffles me: how Hades is literally both the lawyer and one of the judges in this court thing. Like? It doesn’t even make sense?? Not to mention the fact that so far all Hades has done is make terrible points and Zeus and Poseidon have barely talked at all. Like is this a proper court or not? Bc if Hades can become both the lawyer and the judge then the other two judges should also counterargument him. The whole act of wrath of Artemis and Apollo. Why did Hades bring it up? Why didn’t Zeus say that Artemis and Apollo were defending their mom and actually told Zeus about the aow? Persephone and her mom literally did everything they could to cover it up??? What’s even funnier is how Hades is making it seem like Persephone is getting in trial for the aow itself when that’s farther from the truth. It’s literally bc she conspired against the kingdom or whatever. Literally covered up a murder. Had she and her mom gone to Zeus and told him that she killed a bunch of mortals bc they killed her friends Zeus wouldn’t even care at all. This whole thing was so unnecessary and it’s getting dragged for so long it’s just annoying 

5. The way Rachel sexualizes Persephone on literally every occasion physically hurts me. Like what the hell is your problem??? She's not only 19 and naive(ughhh i'm so sick that she's written that way) but she also was r**ed NOT SO LONG AGO. LIKE LITERALLY 3 WEEKS AGO. AND YOU SEXUALIZE THE SH*T OUT OF HER ALREADY THO SHE'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO HEALING AFTER HER TRAUMA. FU RACHEL

6. Seeing a LO stan call us 'misogynistic' because we only 'criticise the female characters' in the story is the funniest and dumbest shit i have ever read from the LO confession blog.

Maybe if RS didn't hate her female cast and didn't treat them more poorly then the male cast we wouldn't be discussing and pointing out so often how messed up and weird it is that she tore down their mythological character, their canon relationships, and passed off their symbols to her FL solely because none of them are allowed to stand out on their own without knocking her self-insert of a FL out from the spotlight.

Hell even her FL isn't safe from RS's horrible writing. Fact is, RS can't write for shit and has no respect for the goddesses (and gods) she's writing off of and we're just following on that lead in our comments. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

7. 182 is the worst chapter yet. Demeter who didn’t want her daughter dating a man her age that she doesn’t even like that much is framed as “abusive”. We already know Demeter doesn’t like Hades because hades even says all they do is argue, oh and comes to her farm piss drunk. Gee wonder why she doesn’t like the guy. She even tells Persephone she doesn’t trust the banks knowing hades owns them.

Persephone being mad her mom delt with him and then lying to her mom. The first chapters it seems that both characters don’t know each other then later they actually did meet and Persephone basically fell on him naked begging to bring souls back from the dead and leaves all embarrassed and calls that a genuine connection. Stfu, he was already very drunk. “Mom he’s not in love with me” y’all kissed how many times? He’s defending you to the depths of the earth even tho with his last gf he couldn’t even get his brother to remember her name and even thought about marrying her??! You’ve been living at his house?! Y’all talked about dates and asking about the fruit?! Persephone your mom wasn’t born yesterday! Idk I just hate how RS portrays Persephone being naive about hades with other characters. Persephone and hades kissed and then Persephone asks Minthe to help with her with her job and Minthe says something about the two of them dating and Persephone does “idk what you’re talking about but nothing is going on >:(“ stfu. Like you’re a sketchy entitled liar!

Hades, Hephaestus and Apollo exchanged. I’m guessing Hades found out then and not before about what Apollo has done but I thought he knew earlier with the quote “you’ve been terrorizing my wife for months!” I THOUGHT HE KNEW FROM THAT EXCHANGE! But no. Now I feel hades is possessive. Persephone told Apollo “we don’t talk about you” and she’s right we don’t see hades and p talk about Apollo, yet hades knows Apollo been terrorizing her. And then when he does find out he cracks a hotel.

Lastly Persephone “swipey thing”. Makes her sounds dumb, when we’re told over and over how smart she is. She’s been to a bank, she’s watched movies she knows what money is yet requests to be paid in diamonds. I swear RS just ruins her character. What is she other than a couple events, some one lines tied i a curvy baby bright pink highlighter. 

8. Lmao underage Persephone looks exactly the same (if not older) as present time Persephone. And on top of that, Rachel continues to sexualize her and the whole situation. Like in those panels in the newest episode where she talks to her mother about Hades being hella drunk, her dress looks like it's about to fall off her shoulders. And it's supposed to look like an ancient greek outfit? Does Rachel have any knowledge of what women wore at that time? 

9. Persephone's argument is so fucking stupid Jesus Christ. How does she think she made a "genuine connection" with a drunk man she met for 5 minutes max? Not only that, but they were both almost naked, Persephone was underage and she straight up just wanted to get info out of him about souls and how she could return them to the mortal realm. HOW does that count as a genuine connection? Rachel keeps forgetting her own story again and again.

Oh, and we're also supposed to hate Demeter for wanting to keep her underage daughter safe from drunk papa smurf. 😂

From OP for 8 & 9: Apparently, she was 19 when she met Hades. Doesn’t change much though.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. (fastpass spoiler) bro the panel where persephone's like "i want the underground" has me crying like LMAOOO why she got t-rex arms💀💀 she looks like a $3.99 creepy ass baby doll

[xostrawberry-milkyox]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISSY!! UR SUCH A BLESSING ON GINTAMA FANDOM <3

Thank u so much for giving us great gintama contents! Im really in love with ur writings hehe.. also ur blog itself ksbdhsbdjs it's Soo entertaining!! Even tho u don't post fanfics or so whatever anymore, I still enjoy visiting ur blog xdd ur keeping the gintama fandom alive thanks to u T-T and I really love it whenever I get ur notifs, they're like a reminder that I mustn't forget gintama 😭💖 (not related but I'm so busy this year because of school and I barely gave my favorite anime some attention anymore cuz I have loads of homeworks and stuffs) and ur blog contents cheer me up, seriously T-T THANK U THANK U THANK U FOR EXISTING :333 WISH U A HAPPY BIRTHDAY ;))

Thank you so much!! 💙💙💙

I'm glad you're enjoying my blog!! Also as mentioned in my pinned post, I should be able to write again in December. I miss writing so I'm also excited for when the time comes that I'll be able to write again \(°^°)/.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[retromotherfuckers]

Six Years (Part 3)

Pairing:

Past/Eventual Bellamy Blake x Fem!Kane!Reader, Platonic!Octavia Blake

Summary:

Octavia knew who she was now, but you couldn’t figure out what the hell you’d become.

Warning: 

so much mf angst, themes of addiction and depression, self-destructive behavior and a tiny bit of comfort in there

Word Count:

2k (i got a little ~carried away~ lol)

A/N:

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. i wasn’t happy with the og thing i had down so i literally just rewrote the whole thing in a few hours and it’s sm better than it would’ve been. me holding off posting this did wonders and i’m more confident in it too even tho i kinda think i suck at writing but also kinda don’t idk my self esteem varies wildly

Merry Christmas Eve Eve to those who celebrate ❤️

the gif (and all the other ones) are not mine and i take no credit for them

if you want to be tagged in any of my works, send me a message or an ask and i’ll add you :)

@shipshipshipau

The girl with aqua eyes - although now they were more of a spotted gray - had only seen one moment of weakness from you. It would be the last time Octavia had seen you, and you, her. 

“We’re surviving!” She had started shouting, as if she believed that set in a lower tone, her words would be construed as lies. “The human race is surviving! That’s what matters!”

“He wouldn’t be okay with this, and you know it!” Your voice broke involuntarily as it rose to match hers. You shook your head as you tried to desperately stop the ache in your chest as you brought her - probably dead - brother up. Tears clung to your eyelashes, waiting for you to blink so they had permission to fall. Your throat had been closed for a while now, and the rest was merely a weak cry. “If this is the price that we have to pay...maybe we shouldn’t be.”

You’d never know if it was the crack in your demeanor or your choice of words, but either way, her eyes softened when you spoke.

“Look at me.” You did as told and she gripped the back of your neck in one hand, pulling your forehead so close it almost came into contact with hers.

The air changed as Octavia came alive under the monster she wore for armor. Her mask coming off allowed you to let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. You would begin to regret not smashing the helmet to bits while it was off and vulnerable.

“You have to stop listening to them,” She said. “It’ll tear you apart. It’s better they get to live to hate us than die slowly and love us-”

“They don’t deserve this either, O-”

“We bare it, so they don’t have to. You’re the one that told me that. You can’t back out on me, now. I can’t do this without you.”

For so long you were okay with her needing you to do the dirty work. Besides the first time - when you did it together - she’d give the sentence and you’d see it through. Every single time, it felt like it was killing you more than them, but that didn’t matter, did it? If you weren’t going to do it, who would?

It was the last thing Octavia had asked of you and you had no intention of letting her down.

Bellamy didn’t know what he would see when they finally dropped him down into the bunker, but it definitely wasn’t that. Surrounded by more death than he was prepared for, he couldn’t help himself to not move his gaze around the arena. The fences between him and the living reminded him of the cages the Mountain Men held him in. The walls were stained deep with crimson, leaving the dull concrete behind it unrecognizable. He looked to the blonde at his side, and they asked each other the same silent question:

What the hell happened down here?

His whiskey shaded orbs kept moving, albeit reluctantly. They stopped on Marcus Kane, who looked so much older than last time. His hair and beard were inches longer and grayer than the natural brown he used to have. He was so pale, it was unnerving - almost as if he was close to death. They connected eyes briefly and that’s when the younger saw the deadly weapon held to his neck by the hands of-

No.

Your back was facing him, but it didn’t matter how long it had been, he’d never miss you. The locks that adorned your head were longer too, almost to your waist. The natural shade was faded though, like you had aged twenty years instead of six. He watched your shoulders heave and your hands start to shake as Kane talked to you.

He couldn’t pull his eyes from the impure red that dyed your skin and clothes.

While you were distracted, he chose to act, protecting Marcus from his own flesh and blood. He didn’t miss the gears in your head turning as your gaze landed on him. He saw your eyes sink into a trance of recognition and a deep sort of longing overtook your senses. The melancholic need you had tried to numb for half a decade came back in full force and held no mercy.

You remembered how he always smelled of the forest after the sky wept. You remembered how sure but gentle his touch was on your skin. You remembered how his remarkably soft lips would feel when they pushed against yours as they begged for more at every turn. You remembered how it felt to be wrapped in his arms, listening to his heart thump as he assured you everything would be alright, even if he didn’t think it would be.

Was that gone forever, now, too?

Bellamy noticed something else, though; something he didn’t recognize. Something he’d never seen before.

Something that scared him.

It had been hours since and neither of you had bothered to find the other. Getting everyone out was a great distraction for him. Talking to his little sister, whose eyes seemed to hold the same thing yours did, was another.  She had explained to him and Clarke that Wonkru had deemed her Bloodreina and you, Ripa. So, no, nothing as special as death from above or the red queen or the commander of death, but death, nonetheless.

People have done well not to forget that.

When Clarke told him you still hadn’t come out and no one had seen you, however, he didn’t have a choice anymore.

The halls were those of nightmares, spirits lurking around every corner and it was cold and empty. He knew the lights were kept low to save power but it felt almost purposeful, like they were meant to scare you. To tell you not to act out or some kind of monster would jump from the shadows and make you pay.

But he didn’t know if it was you or his sister.

A chill slithered up his spine.

If someone told him this wasn’t real, he’d do anything he could to believe them. He wished that he was seconds away from being shaken awake by Raven or Monty, and they would tell him it was just another nightmare. He wished he was still on the Ring, praying ignorantly to anyone that would listen that his family on earth were still okay. 

Breaking him from his thoughts, a yellow lamplight caught his attention. At the end of the windowless corridor, it shone out of a slightly ajar door. Using every ounce of strength he possessed to not walk away, he pushed it open. It cried at the motion, diminishing any and all remnants of silence that swallowed the floor.

His eyes found you catching yourself from falling caused by a failed attempt at standing. A half empty bottle of whatever works in one hand, the other one holding you up against the bed frame. The high-pitched creak pulled your attention to the front of the room with a furrowed brow and he allowed himself to take in your appearance.

A wrinkled, cotton shirt sat on your chest and it was a different one than before; faded white and thin, yet cleaner than the other one which was colored with blood. Your hair was damp - the result of taking a shower - but lazily tied back in a half-assed effort to get it out of your face.

You stared at each other for a minute. A million things were hitting your slow-moving thoughts at once, too much for you to even try to comprehend. He finally took one step towards you, parting his lips to say something but no sound came out. He was stumped, hundreds of words flooded his mind but not a single one sounded good enough.

Nothing he could say would make what happened in the arena okay.

It was unbearably painful. There he was, finally right in front of you, and you had no idea what to talk about. No idea what to start with, end with, bring up, discuss, laugh about, cry about, scream about. Nothing was good enough to say to the man that kept you alive for such a long time, such a long time ago. 

Too long ago.

You inevitably broke the silence, though your words came out cracked and in a slur. A defensive and humorless scoff left your lips, an effort to cover up the discomfort. Or it was because you were too drunk to shut yourself up. “You gonna say somethin’?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

You didn’t know why, but you hoped he’d sound different. It was childish and irrational, but you hoped that you could say you both changed too much and he would have nothing to hold against you.

Because no matter how far away it seemed, sometimes you could still remember what it felt like to be that innocent seventeen-year-old that hadn’t lived yet; what it felt like to be that girl who still couldn’t stand her father. To be that girl who sprained her ankle within ten minutes of being on earth for the first time. To be that girl who hadn’t made a friend aside from Clarke and Wells in her whole life. That girl who had just kissed a boy for the first time.

The girl who was loved and not lost yet.

“Well, that makes two of us.”

Where the hell did she go?

That made the room spin, and you had to blink a few times to make it stop, taking a seat on the thin mattress. You took a drink, making the liquid slosh from the base to the neck of the bottle and back again. When it settled, you rested your head between your shoulders as you heard him say your name. It bounced off the walls in the room, hitting each one again, and again, and again like it was a bullet waiting to find its target. You had wanted the word to fall from his lips for so long that you’d forgotten what it sounded like. You had forgotten what he sounded like, and you fucking hated yourself for it.

Then you realized he said, “Ripa,” and those four deadly little letters crushed your throat and stole the air from your lungs.

That name hadn’t felt right from the start, but it was what you had been simultaneously promoted to and reduced by. The only person who refused to call you that over the years, was your father. For two thousand days, he made sure to steer clear of it.

That’s not who you are and I know it, even if you don’t.

A sudden and hauntingly raw sob escaped, and you knew his eyes were on you in an instant.

“Don’t call me that,” You begged, meeting his gaze for the first time since he entered. Breath picking up, you were practically terror-stricken at the idea that all you were to him now was a murderer. You vigorously tried to shake the thought away, squeezing your eyes shut as everything that kept you numb seemed to vanish into thin air. “Y-You can’t-Not you too. Please, not you.”

Bellamy’s hand brushed your cheek and tears rained freely. You immediately leaned into the familiar and delicate warmth and you really fucking hoped this wasn’t your mind playing a trick on you.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” When he spoke this time, his words sounded choked too. His other hand cradled the back of your head as he pulled you into his chest and just...held you. “It’s okay.”

It was like you were standing at the edge of a building, teetering the edge before accidentally falling. Only, before you could plummet to your death, someone caught your hand, and it occurred to you that you really wanted them to pull you back up.

“Please don’t leave me again.”

Your voice was just so, so weak. Beaten down and broken.

“Never.” He said it with so much confidence and finality, you almost had to convince yourself it was real and not a dream. “I promise.”