#im sorry lOLLL

[freshlysqueezedbananamilk]

Ugh. Accidentally voted on a poll referencing the poster (who is a stranger), and this is not the first time I've done this. They really need to add an undo vote option. 🙃

[tealgoat]

When you're stuck in a timeloop might as well try out new hairstyles

[brackenfur]

okay so i kind of.......wrote a lot more than i really intended to, but long story short - years ago i had this headcanon/au of sorts that birchpaw/fall saw ashfur and hawkfrost at the lake together, standing over firestar. mostly because when you squint at that whole sequence it kinda doesnt add up in canon, but its not canon that birchfall saw anything - it's just me taking this what if scenario and expanding on a side character

anyways this was kinda a quick project so its not perfect buuuuuut i wrote something so ! enjoy :)

birchpaw is back at camp doing everything he can to avoid the worried looks of his clanmates when his mentor stops him.

"hey, birchpaw," the fur on the back of birchpaw's neck stands up, and he slowly turns to the other tomcat. "are you okay?"

birchpaw does the best he can to keep the nervousness out of his voice as he answers: "i'm fine, ashfur. really. i- uh, i mean, i really just wish i had...been faster, that i had..."

he can't look at ashfur's face. not now, maybe not ever again. he knows that as soon as he meets his eyes, he won't be able to stop asking questions:

what were you doing with a riverclan cat? why didn't you help firestar? did the other cat threaten you? did you-

"you did the best you could, birchpaw," ashfur tells him gently; he pauses, flicking his tail-tip, before murmuring: "come on, let's go over to the apprentice's den to talk. i can tell you're shaken up."

and you're not, birchpaw wants to say, but he's a coward. this is his uncle, his mother's twin, and he doesn't really know what he saw, anyways. maybe ashfur had been standing there, sure. and maybe firestar had been clearly injured, clearly dying - well, ashfur isn't a medicine cat. he couldn't have known that, even if birchpaw had been making a lucky guess. but maybe hawkfrost threatened him, or maybe he lied to him-

you don't believe that at all, he thinks.

but he follows his uncle all the same to the apprentice's den; whitepaw is comforting her father at the medicine cat den while leafpool treats firestar's wound. no one is around - they're all either out searching the territory to make sure hawkfrost didn't have any accomplices, or with firestar's family on the other side of camp.

"you did the best you could to get help as soon as possible, birchpaw," ashfur tells him softly; birchpaw is staring at the grass between his paws, not looking at the other tom. "everyone knows that. i'm sure firestar does, too."

"right."

"but i could scent your fear-scent," ashfur continues, "and it does seem like you didn't go straight back to camp after telling firestar about blackstar. why?"

birchpaw's whiskers quiver. he shouldn't be scared - if anything, ashfur should be worried. he's the one who didn't do enough to help.

but the look in ashfur's eyes. the blank, distant stare as he watched firestar gurgle at his paws.

even the badgers didn't look at sootfur like that after they killed him, birchpaw remembers.

"i....," birchpaw's voice wobbles. "i thought i scented another cat, and i was worried," he clears his throat, trying to stop the shakes, "about you. i thought- i thought maybe you were...in trouble, and i...."

ashfur is quiet for a long time; if birchpaw wasn't so scared - why should i be scared? he's my uncle and my mentor, he wouldn't....he'd never.... - he'd look up, joke with him. pretend like it's all a big joke.

but those eyes. that look. the sounds firestar was making.

"so you didn't go straight back to camp," ashfur says with a disappointed sigh, "and firestar lost a life."

birchpaw's heartbeat skips. his paws shake. "wait," he says, his voice becoming shrill. he doesn't want anyone else to hear, but- what ashfur's saying, it's not...that's not right. that's not how it went. "wait, i- i did go back, as fast as i could, and i told squirrelflight-"

"you waited to tell her, you mean," ashfur tells him, frowning. "and he lost a life because he lost too much blood."

"but i didn't....i'd never..."

"it probably wasn't your intention," ashfur murmurs. "but that's how it happened. what if it was his last life? firestar and i trusted you to do one simple task, and you couldn't do that. you can't even look your uncle in the eye when he's talking to you."

birchpaw quivers as he slowly lifts his eyes to look into his uncles. ashfur's dark blue eyes stare back at him, just as emotionless as they did hours before.

"that's better," ashfur tells him, but it doesn't feel better. all of this is wrong.

"i was just trying to help," birchpaw whispers. "i didn't....i saw..."

"what did you see?" ashfur asks him, with a tone that birchpaw's never heard him use before: it's low, angry.

it's terrifying.

"um," birchpaw stutters. "i don't- i don't know. i don't know what i saw."

i saw you. i saw you and hawkfrost.

"if you don't even know what you saw," ashfur says slowly, "then maybe you shouldn't say anything. not to me, or to your mother. not to firestar."

birchpaw slowly lowers his gaze. how did today end up like this?

"you didn't see anything out there, birchpaw," ashfur continues. "you're an apprentice - you don't know your left paw from your right paw."

"okay."

ashfur stares at him for a long moment, sighing. "i'm not trying to scare you, birchpaw," he murmurs, "but i don't want you to get in trouble for firestar losing his life. sometimes we make mistakes; i don't want this one to be the defining moment of your apprenticehood."

shame burns through birchpaw - shame that he can't stand up to his uncle and tell him that this is all wrong.

but more shame that there's a part of him, deep down, that knows ashfur is right. if birchpaw had been quick enough, firestar wouldn't have lost a life. hawkfrost would've been stopped quicker.

and maybe....maybe ashfur was just trying to help firestar. maybe in some way, he's embarrassed because he couldn't help him, either. is that what this is about? trying to save face, because brambleclaw once again saved the day when ashfur couldn't?

"i want to be a good apprentice."

"and i'll help you do that," ashfur tells him, his voice becoming warmer. "and we'll start by making sure that today stays behind us, forever. okay?"

"okay."

it doesn't feel okay.

--

the rest of his apprenticeship goes by largely uneventfully. ashfur isn't exactly the same as before he and squirrelflight drifted apart, but he never speaks to birchpaw the way that he did the day firestar was injured.

he becomes a warrior by the name of birchfall. he makes friends, falls into an easy routine. he even still spends time with his uncle - with each passing day, the events from that afternoon become a faded memory. sometimes it plays out differently in his mind - there's days where he thinks he did see ashfur try and help firestar. where he heard him tell hawkfrost to go away.

(and maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought it was back then if the memory keeps changing. if it really was so awful, wouldn't it be the same? was he just trying to make ashfur out to be a bad cat?)

everything in thunderclan is mostly calm, until ashfur gets lionpaw as an apprentice.

he's heard cats joke about being jealous when their old mentor gets another apprentice - how it's weird, seeing the cat who taught you everything teaching someone else the same things, telling the same jokes.

he's still ashfur's nephew, so he knows that his former mentor still holds a special place in his heart for him - but it's not exactly that jealousy that other cats talk about that he feels towards lionpaw.

he feels...strange, seeing them together; there's this weird fluttering feeling he gets when he catches ashfur's expression as lionpaw walks away from him.

sometimes he can hear a voice in the back of his mind, screaming at him to go and get between the two of them. to protect lionpaw.

but ashfur....well, it's ashfur. outside of that one afternoon moons before, he's a normal warrior. he wouldn't...

so birchfall does what he did over a year prior; he buries the feelings. he can't trust his eyes - that's what ashfur told him before. he doesn't know his left paw from his right paw.

(except that he's a warrior now, and a damn good one, so why-)

that changes one day, when the talk of thunderclan is how lionpaw and ashfur got into this huge fight - claws drawn, teeth bared. ashfur scratched up pretty badly, spiderleg had told him, shaking his head.

i knew that was going to happen, he's not a medicine cat or particularly gifted, but he knew. he knew, he knew, he knew, he knew.

i knew he was going to hurt him, birchfall watches as lionpaw trudges into camp, surprisingly fine physcially - ashfur is the one with the injuries, blood dripping on the camp floor as he trudges to leafpool's den.

lionpaw is standing there after all is said and done, after cats talk to him to ask him if he's okay. standing there in the center of camp, alone.

birchfall is only foxlengths from him, watching, and the thought slips into his mind easily: i should tell him that i know what ashfur is really like. that i saw the same look in his eyes that he probably saw. that he watched firestar die inches from his paws and did nothing to help him.

he almost does it, too. the memories from that day come back, flooding his vision - ashfur's dark expression. the white flash of hawkfrost's teeth. firestar's gurgles.

i'm so sorry, firestar.

"why are you staring at me?"

birchfall snaps out of it quickly; lionpaw is staring at him, amber eyes narrowed.

"what?" birchfall blinks. "i wasn't staring at you."

"yeah, you were," lionpaw tells him, shaking his head. "weirdo." lionpaw hisses under his breath.

and before birchfall can say anything, do anything, hollypaw and cinderpaw bound up to him to talk to him, stealing the moment away.

birchfall watches the apprentices for a couple more seconds before he turns away.

he didn't see anything that day. it's his fault that firestar lost a life, anyways. that's all anyone would be able to see - firestar is one pawstep closer to being gone forever because of him.

--

birchfall keeps his word for the moons to come; lionblaze becomes a warrior with hollyleaf and cinderheart. whitewing - his longest friend, the molly who withheld her warrior ceremony for him, just so he wouldn't be alone,

(and was there for him on the nights when all he dreamt of was the lakeshore, never asking him what woke him up shaking)

well, they become closer and closer until they're not really just friends anymore, and one morning she bounds up to him to tell him that she's carrying his kits. that leafpool had just told her moments before, and she couldn't wait to find him.

and it finally feels like maybe birchfall is at peace - maybe starclan isn't angry with him after all. maybe that one thing that birchfall didn't do years ago - it'll be okay. firestar is alive and happy, with grandchildren now.

the fire rages through thunderclan not long after, but thankfully there's no casualities - he grew up hearing the stories of the one from years ago, back in the old territory before he was born, and he's glad that everyone was okay this time.

well.

he heard berrynose say that everyone had been looking for squirrelflight, her kits, and ashfur for awhile - that ashfur had turned up, laughing. he wouldn't say what was so funny, though.

he didn't think much of it, until he saw the way ashfur was acting after the fire. the way he leered after squirrelflight and her kits; hollyleaf's eyes glaring back in defiance, lionblaze's hackles raised, jayfeather's avoidance.

i don't want any part in this, he thinks, focusing on whitewing and their future together. i didn't see anything. i don't know anything. ashfur isn't dangerous.

he repeats the mantra more often than he'd like; at night, he dreams of the lakeshore for the first time in years and wakes up shuddering against spiderleg's side. his older brother shakes him off, confused, but birchfall can't meet his gaze, or anyone elses.

i didn't see anything. i didn't see anything. i didn't-

and then just like that, one day ashfur is found dead on their territory.

someone said that a patrol found him in a river, throat torn out.

it doesn't feel real to birchfall until he sees his uncles body laid out in the center of camp, with ferncloud's muzzle pressed into his fur.

that's my uncle, he thinks as he watches spiderleg lead icepaw and foxpaw to their mother, trying to comfort her. he was my mentor.

you don't know what you saw. it's ashfur's voice, clear as day in his mind as he watches his clanmates gather around the tomcat. you don't know your left paw from your right paw. you're just an apprentice; how can anyone trust you after what you did?

firestar walks over to ferncloud and dustpelt, murmuring a few kind words to them. birchfall can hear his leader's voice carrying over the wind, mentioning something about dogs, about bravery.

he watched you lose a life, birchfall wants to scream, but he can't move. he stood there and watched you gargle for breath and did nothing.

birchfall shuts his eyes. no. no, it was because of me, because i decided to take too long to go back to camp, his mind can't decide what's right or wrong. it's my fault, that's what....that's what ashfur says, and...and now he's dead, so....

"birchfall," whitewing's voice is soft; he jolts, eyes wide as he looks at his mate. she leans against him, whiskers drooping. "this is so sad. i mean....ashfur, i just- i just talked to him yesterday. he was asking me about the kits, if i was feeling okay..."

you wouldn't want to be with me if you knew what i did, ashfur had never threatened him after that day, but birchfall knew that was what his uncle was conveying to him every time they talked after that day. that he could tell everyone, and everyone would know it was birchfall's fault that firestar lost a life.

or....or wait, maybe that wasn't right. not anymore.

maybe he should blame himself for not saying anything all these years. he could've told firestar and had ashfur punished, and he didn't.

the realization burns deep in his chest; he can barely register what whitewing is saying.

ashfur knew that if you said something, any cat could probably figure out that something about his story didn't add up, birchfall thinks, his heart thudding. and you were just too stupid to realize you could have said something years ago.

"birchfall?" whitewing says, frowning. "hey, birchfall. are you okay?"

birchfall's fur raises. "i'm okay," he tells her, taking a deep breath. "all things....you know, considering, i..." he shakes his head. "i'm gonna get some air, okay?"

whitewing touches her nose to his. "i'm here, you know that, right? i've been here for you since we were 'paws."

that stings more. i could have told you years ago, birchfall touches his nose back to hers, and turns away. i can't say anything now. she'd never trust me again, i kept this secret from everyone because i was too scared of my uncle. and now he's dead, and now....

birchfall resigns himself not to think about it anymore. he can't.

he can't. he won't.

--

after his daughters are born, birchfall wants this to be his new purpose in life.

forget about the lakeshore. the foxtrap. hawkfrost. ashfur. firestar is fine now; thunderclan is fine. sure, maybe there's been some earth-shattering secrets that have been revealed, but- all in all, they're mostly fine.

ivypaw and dovepaw mean the world to him; he can't imagine being without them.

he looks at them and wants to do right by them; they'll never know the fear he's carried for all this time, the same.

he'll teach them to say something if they see something; to be outspoken, brave.

but he can barely keep his head above water; it started when he met a cat from the dark forest one night. who promised him that he could make up for the mistake he made years ago; that he could do right by firestar. by thunderclan.

he trains every night but it doesn't make the shame go away. it won't scrub off after he bathes himself. nothing works.

it's not until the wall is lifted over his eyes - after his daughter, ivypool, a warrior grown - tells him what the true intention of the dark forest was.

all the moons he spent there, training, trying to prove that he could make up for what he did - gone.

and after the battle with the dark forest, both his mother and firestar are dead - killed by the cats that birchfall wanted to impress. wanted to show that he could be better, that he could be stronger.

how did everything go so wrong? he thinks as he watches his father crouched over his mother. dustpelt won't even look at him; he doesn't know about firestar, but he knows about the dark forest. and he hates him - despises him for training with the cats who are responsible for ferncloud's death.

he's right.

"birchfall," whitewing's voice jolts him out of his thoughts. "please. i want to talk."

it was inevitable - he knows that it's over between them at this point. he follows her out of camp regardless, deep into the territory. there's birds in the trees, chirping quietly amongst themselves, and everything is in bloom, yet nothing is beautiful to him at this moment.

whitewing turns to face him, her green eyes sad. "can you just tell me why?"

birchfal looks down at his paws, just like he did years before when ashfur told him to keep quiet.

"i'm sorry," he tells her, and she scoffs.

"i'm sorry isn't an explanation," she meows. "just....why, birchfall? why would you train with cats like that? and why- our daughter was there too, why wouldn't you try and convince her not to? what's wrong with you?"

i'm a coward.

"that's still not an answer," he hadn't realized he said it aloud. he finally looks up at his mate - probably soon to be ex-mate. "you need to talk to me. you're not a 'paw anymore."

and for some reason that burns more than anything else.

you're not a 'paw. you should have said something. you should have told everyone what you saw. and you didn't. it's your fault. all your fault. everything-

"i need to tell you something," he finally says; the story is bubbling at the surface. ashfur is long dead. firestar is dead. his family hates him. whitewing is going to leave him anyway; what else does he have to lose? brambleclaw might exile him, might not; he might not care what birchfall does.

whitewing is silent; birchfall opens and shuts his mouth a few times, trying to find the words, until he meows:

"i saw what happened to firestar on the lakeshore, that day when hawkfrost from riverclan died."

whitewing frowns; she looks taken aback, and blinks a few times.

"i....ashfur...he told me that he scented blackstar on our territory," the memory comes back hazy at first, but starts to clear as he goes on: "he said to tell firestar about it. i did, but....a few minutes later when i was heading back, i could scent another cat. and i remembered ashfur was out there, and i was worried for him, so i followed him and the other cat so i could protect him. and..."

the gurgling. the look on ashfur's eyes. the sound of the water lapping at the shore.

"ashfur was standing with hawkfrost over firestar's body. he was caught in the foxtrap and....ashfur, he...." birchfall shuts his eyes. "you should've seen how he looked. he didn't care at all that firestar was dying. i ran away, i didn't....i didn't know what to do. i thought maybe i didn't see anything at all, so i just told squirrelflight what ashfur had said about blackstar when i saw her. i thought....i thought maybe if she caught ashfur and hawkfrost, it'd....she'd know what to do, more than i would....."

birchfall stares at his paws. "when i got back to camp and brambleclaw had killed hawkfrost, ashfur told me....he said i didn't see anything, and it was easier to pretend i didn't see anything. and he was...he was right - i should've just gone back to camp right away. i should've just done the right thing, not been a stupid 'paw. i should've...it's my fault that firestar lost a life. he'd still be here right now if i just had listened back then, 'cus he'd have an extra life, and..."

birchfall trails off, shaking. "so that's...that's why i wanted to train at the dark forest. because i let firestar down. because i didn't say anything all these years, and i should've....i mean, what if ashfur had hurt someone else? and i just sat there and let it happen."

it takes him a moment after everything spills out to realize that whitewing is very quiet; he finally looks up at his mate.

she looks so sad watching him; and there's a bit of anger in there, too.

"he threatened you?" whitewing finally says; birchfall winces.

"i don't....maybe, it doesn't really matter."

"you were his apprentice and his nephew," whitewing tells him firmly. "of course it matters. he knew he was manipulating you, and that you just wanted to please him, so you'd do anything to make sure you wouldn't make trouble."

whitewing's tail lashes, and she shakes his head. "that- i can't believe he did that to you, that he made you think...."

"whitewing, it's-"

"it's not your fault, birchfall," her voice is gentle, yet he can tell she's holding back so much rage, rage for ashfur, pain for firestar's death. "if you really think for one second that you have anything to do with firestar laying in that clearing right now, you're completely wrong. that was tigerstar, first of all, and ashfur's fault years ago."

"but-"

"you went to help your mentor, and you were intimidated into keeping this a secret," she tells him, stepping closer. "and now you think that because you didn't say anything, that that's worse than what he did."

"i should have said something," birchfall tells her, harsher than he means to. "i mean - for starclan's sake, whitewing, i- i saw, and i didn't do anything. i'm no better than he is-"

"you are twice the cat that ashfur was," whitewing meows firmly. "and if i had even....if i saw him right now, i'd slash his ears for doing that to you."

whitewing shakes her head, looking at him. "all these years," she whispers, frowning, "all these years, and we- when you were in the apprentices den, having nightmares..."

"you couldn't have known," he mumbles. "i didn't tell you."

"and then....birchfall, i..." she presses her noses into his neck; birchfall is stiff from shock.

"i thought you were breaking up with me," he tells her, aghast; whitewing sucks in a breath, pulling away.

"what?"

"why not? after the dark forest, all of this...."

"i'm disappointed in you for training with the dark forest," she tells him softly. "but your mother is dead, and you....you've been holding this in for years, birchfall. i can put off asking you about the dark forest for awhile; i.....i didn't know. all these years, and i had no idea you were punishing yourself for ashfur's crimes."

when she puts it like that, a small - a tiny one, really, nothing huge - light begins to flick in his mind.

i've been punishing myself, he thinks, and it strangely makes a lot of sense - thinking about the lake all these years has felt like punishment. refusing to get close to firestar out of shame was his way of punishing himself, telling himself what he did was wrong.

"i don't know if i can tell anyone else," birchfall tells her in a whisper; whitewing nods, brushing her muzzle against his.

"that's okay," she meows, "because now i know, and now i can shoulder it with you."

"it's not a very romantic secret." he doesn't say it like a joke, but she still smiles a little.

"it's not," she shrugs. "but no one helped birchpaw back then; i'm here for you now."

[notdapskie]

the idea is very romantic and swoon worthy but I personally can't picture it? Layton failing at things is infinitely funnier to me, I mean Phoenix is- a refrigerator. And Layton's arms? literally noodles

Also i made this too long because being part of the wright and co family means being subjected to the customary wright and co bullying

[we-are-dogclan]

Stage Two: Anger - Part 2

Indirect Apology.

[manchesterau]

harry and his dangly earring on the x factor uk in 2013

[feminist-dinosaur27]

Our non existent season two should start with Charles saying that they really need to take some time off of work after everything that’s happened and Edwin objecting, until he can’t. This would give us our heavily sought after beach scene and a couple of flustered ghosts (+ a bitchy looking Edwin)

Charles is very giddy, but anxious to make sure everything is perfect because he’d never had a proper holiday growing up. And Edwin, as we can imagine, is not having any of it.

Charles thinks Edwin isn’t enjoying himself because he didn’t make it perfect enough, so he tries to pressure him into the activities to cheer him up. Edwin actually isn’t enjoying himself because he’s having a total sensory overload

They see fairly quickly that this whole beach thing was far more stressful than a holiday should be, and pack away the beach ball. So, now what do they do for their break? Well, they do what they do best, which is cozying up in the office

[birdricks]

you do it to yourself, you do / and that’s what really hurts

[non-un-topo]

Queer quartet playing sports????

Hello, thank you for the prompt!! <33 So I’m one of those gays who doesn’t know the first thing about Sports Games, but I do know how quickly an easy-breezy came of beach volleyball can turn into a ruthless bloodbath, which I think could be fitting for these folks.

Also I have art block and have not been able to produce more than this visual story. Enjoy: Queer Quartet beach episode

[emilnikos]

two bros chilling hanging out with no anger or hatered

[silly-writes]

Camper(s): Courtney, Gwen, Heather, Jasmine, Zoey, etc.

Prompt: Camper falls for a reader who suffers from Imposter Syndrome (person is successful at things they do but doesn't acknowledge it themselves and think they're unworthy of their achievements or skills due to strong self-doubt and fear of exposure as a fraud which they aren't) with said camper being the only person to realize the self doubt of the reader yet still falls in love with reader. How'd things develop?

Contestants with reader who suffers from imposter syndrome

Tysm for the request, I hope you enjoy :]

Courtney

Everyone knew you were amazing and gifted, everyone.

A fact not gone unnoticed by Courtney. (She’s got an eye for these things, she used to be a CIT after all).

At first she uses you for a little bit of extra leverage during the challenges, but after a bit felt too guilty to continue to do so.

So as a sort of apology she wanted to spend more time getting to know you as a person, rather than just a tool that everyone in the competition had been utilizing.

She sat beside you on the cabin steps one night, after you had absolutely crushed it yet another challenge.

“Really great work today, I’m impressed,” she said, putting a hand on your back.

You couldn’t help but recoil just the slightest bit, but tried to play it off with a smile “uh. Yeah, sure.”

It wasn’t great work, not to you. You saw all your little slip ups, your stress. No less than anyone else’s, you saw it when you fell, or when you tripped. It was an awful effort.

Courtney mistook your self consciousness as humility and so she smiled at you brighter “oh you don’t have to be modest around me you know? You’ve earned a bit of gloating.”

You chuckled a little albeit a bit emptily “do I? Really?” You just couldn’t help that self doubt seeping through a bit.

Courtney’s face changed at that, maybe it was your tone, or something in your eyes. But her expression softened.

“Hey- don’t be like that. Of course you do. You’re great, I mean- you’d have to be stupid to disagree with me on that,” she says with an assured expression.

You chuckled again, this time more amusing dances in your tone “stupid huh?”

She crossed her arms and gave you a pointed glare “I know a worthy competitor when I see one. And I definitely know refined skill when I see it too. You better not be getting cold feet on me now.”

You smiled at her, leaning towards her hand which was planted firmly on your back “no. No, of course not.”

“Well-“ she looks a little flustered, but beyond determined to keep her footing in the conversation “-good then. Better be on your A game again tomorrow.”

You watched her walk back into the cabins. Maybe if she thought you were something great, maybe you were.

Courtney goes out of her way from that conversation on to compliment you (something that is rare, and hard for her to do).

But she really likes you, and she wants you to see yourself the way she sees you.

Gwen

Gwen mainly hangs out with you for your snappy witty sense of humor.

She couldn’t stand to deal with anyone who couldn’t match her social wit.

But it’s not like she hasn’t seen you during challenges, you’re good, too good.

She’ll tease you about it to no end, you could never tell if it’s because she’s actually upset with you for winning challenges for the team, or if she just likes to get on your back about stuff.

“Wooow,” she deadpanned after watching you do one challenge that was particularly physically taxing.

“What?” You said lifting a brow at her.

She scrunches her face a little at you for a moment and then begins “oh nothing, but do you have to make the rest of us look bad while doing the challenges?” She laughs (somewhat evilly from your point of view)

You know she was just teasing you, she always is, but it hurts a little more.

“What?” She asks.

“Nothing.”

“No, seriously. Why do you have that look on?” She presses again, leaning over on her knees to get a good look at you.

“Nothing it’s just- it’s stupid,” you admit.

She snorts a little “from you? I doubt it.”

“It kind of freaks me out when you say stuff like that?”

She makes a face at that “why?”

You shrug “makes me feel like everyone is expecting something great from me that I can’t give.”

She stops chortling at you then, because she can see it plain as day written on your face. You’re not kidding.

You of all people worried about not being great? She could hardly believe her ears, she thought the world and moon of you, you were the only person at this shit hole camp who she could stand.

She punched your side lightly “you better not really believe that you know?”

“What, that I’m a fraud?” You say darkly.

She scoffs “you’re ridiculous you know that. You work harder than anyone else here to compete in these mind numbing challenges, and still you can’t see?!”

“Well I guess-“

“No, you guess nothing. Don’t you dare believe you’re anything less than what you are any longer.”

She said it with such a sense of finality it was hard to argue back with her. Impossible even.

“I knew you had a heart in there,” you smirk at her.

She goes red (which doesn’t take much honestly she’s paler than fresh printer paper) at that, and pushes you a little. “Shut up.”

After that she lays off comments like that, and you don't hear much teasing from her to anyone.

It feels a little weird at first, not getting teased, and even more shockingly getting a few compliments from her.

But the two of you slump into it after a while, and it becomes the new natural for your relationship.

Heather

Heather can read you like a book.

She knows right away that you’re useful, skilled, and have a strong self doubt about yourself.

(Sorry but yk our girl is evil, she definitely manipulates you especially if we’re talking island)

She definitely somehow pulls you into an alliance, and you kind of just float along with her for the most part.

You know it’s wrong the stuff she’s making you do to the other campers sometimes, but you glom onto her praise a little bit.

“You, I need you to go find Lindsay for me. We need to have an alliance meeting,” she demands hands on her hips.

"What for?" Heather seemed to get tripped up sometimes on even the smallest of things, sometimes it seemed like stupid things, but what did you know?

"What for? What for? Excuse me, hello, earth to _______! We totally bombed that last challenge in case you're not paying attention!"

"Right, sorry," you said in response.

That wasn't totally true though, we weren't right, more like they.

Not that you would ever correct anyone to say something that conceded, much less Heather (she'd kill you).

"What's that look for?" She demands.

"What? nothing," you assure.

She scoffs "So then what are you doing still on your butt? Go get Lindsay!"

Lindsay going against Heather in the end makes you turn on her the same, if it's someone Lindsay hates, they must be bad news. Not that you didn't already realize that, I just imagine that to be the final straw.

Oddly enough, after being with Heather makes your self worth increase.

Despite the fact that she verbally assaults you on a daily basis, it's easy to feel good about yourself since in comparison to Heather not only do you look even extra adequate in challenges, but you seem nicer too.

Jasmine

It doesn't take much to warm up to Jasmine, she's wildly easy going, kind, smart, and good at everything she tries.

You two click based on skill alone.

Being in Pahkitew requires a lot of athleticism, and a lot of survival instincts.

Being good with Jasmine is just common sense.

She's always giving you praise and compliments about everything you do, she's always delighted and amazed by your skill.

"Wow! Look at you, you're better than a bear on December first at foraging!" She said over her pile of berries.

"uh... sure," you shrug.

She gives you a look "What's that face for?"

"Nothing," you shrug, not wanting to give yourself away for the fraud you are.

"You should be proud, not everyone is a master forager right out of the gates."

You shrug again "it's just picking berries."

"Not quite, its picking the right berries,"

"...yeah" you say.

She stands up and looks at you with her hands on her hips "what's wrong?"

Jasmine is very good with people's emotions, she can always tell when something has shifted with someone. So there was no real use in hiding it.

"It's just... I feel weird accepting compliments from you sometimes," you admit.

"Why's that?"

"Cause I just feel like they're never really... deserved I guess."

Jasmine frowns down at you, and puts a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. I get it, you know? It can be hard to get to a point where you feel confident enough in yourself to accept that stuff. But you should know by now I'm not a liar, you wouldn't really think I'd say that stuff about just anyone, would you?"

"No... I guess not. But-"

"Right then, we'd better get these back to the team then, huh?"

She said and then pulled you along.

From that point on Jasmine would take extra note of when you were feeling particularly off and would try and nudge you into the right direction.

She'd always give you extra support, but it never sounded forced, or fake, with her things are always very natural I imagine.

With her things truly are a team effort especially after your heart to heart.

Zoey

Zoey always knows you will be there to save her, or help her when she needs help.

She is caring and sweet, and super cute, so of course you would go to great lengths to know and understand you.

I do think (solely based on how long things took with her discovering Mike's system) It would probably take you spelling anything like that out for her.

She's always impressed by your work, be it social, academic, physical, she's just impressed by you, through and through.

It was another night of lengthy praise from her, after you had rescued her from yet another fatal situation (why had you come on this show again?).

You could feel yourself growing more and more uncomfortable as compliment after compliment ticked on, you just couldn't live up to what she thought of you.

How could you? She over and over told you she thought the world of you, how could this pressure do anything but build and fester?

"Zoey! Please," you interrupt, trying not to let your outburst cost you the challenge.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing, it's just... It's kind of a lot," you admit. And you hate how weak it sounds, but you knew you needed to be direct with her.

"Oh no I'm sorry. The pressure is a lot for you I'd bet..." She said sort of sadly, shaking her head.

"Yeah, a little bit," you nodded.

She rubbed your back comfortingly "I promise I won't do that to you anymore. How about from now on we decide to expect less from each other?"

It sounded a bit strange, expecting less from your teammates should sound like a bad deal, but it's what you needed. On top of the fact that you felt like a big huge liar, you didn't need everyone expecting the world of you on top of that.

Things run a little more smoothly with your team from then on. Zoey finds unique ways to praise you that go unnoticed to you sometimes, and gives you as much support as you give to her.

[newvegascowboy]

profligate

[treasureplcnet]

As a LaiKabuMisu enjoyer, I never thought I'd need to see desperate Mithrun->Kabru before in my life, thank you so much for the food in these dark times.

desperate mithrun just makes me GIGGLE like the meme i made takes it a bit far for comedy's sake but it's like. this guy who only recently began to live for something else other than revenge and it's thanks to kabru and suddenly kabru dissapears his from life because he has a "job" . we've already seen mithrun go sulky when kabru doesn't side with him despite having valid reasons not to LOL (sfx: hmph)

i truly can see the momentary disconnect (i doubt this lasts very long or at least doesn't manifest obviously. mithrun is a quiet and ultimately rational guy) where he's like "... i thought kabru was gonna stay with me though?" and not even necessarily in a romantic light (for starters anyway). just in the way that mithrun just counted on kabru's companionship, but when adult schedules and establishing a kingdom collide, i think kabru would also equally have a hard time giving up what he works very hard for (protecting humans/short-lived races and being able to help govern so that this is possible). i can absolutely see kabru accidentally neglecting his relationships for too long, and not realising until his party intervenes, or mithrun 'hmph's at him again and he's like '..what did i do.'

sorry for the essay . tldr: i would like to picture mithrun sulking :)

[fishbloc]

sometimes i remember i have a scar neopet and his grian petpet

[lucabyte]

your ocs!!!!! please ramble about them!!!!

i love your art so much

(GRABS YOU) H. CAN DO BOSS.

So ! My ocs. I guess I'll do an overall explainer for the overall groups. If you check out my Toyhouse (LINK!) there's a bunch of folders up top that are how I categorise them. It's primarily by universe except for the folders that are just "misc."

So folder 1: Blatant favouritism:

These are silly little guys that don't fit in any specific wider universe, but I really really like. So I'll spotlight the two important ones before i get real in the weeds with my main universe.

In here are notably, my Fursona (self explanatory), Ali and Pittsburgh Cincinnati. There's also Hauntkit and Clearpelt who are warriorcats ocs that *is dragged away by airport security*

... So, Pittsburgh, lovingly sometimes called pissbug, is a weird little Thing who I made as like, an homage to characters like happy bunny and Sweetypuss. She (and her weird dog) exist to stand next to strange and offputting captions. I love her. No further context. She's just silly. and violent.

Now. Ali.

Ali Alighieri has thoroughly stolen the show, and also ties into the next folder along, Making Your MK.

With over a hundred extra images compared to second place (Sorry, Tabitha). Ali is my fucked up little scrunkly. My little baby guy. They're a shared character of mine and @samhainian's, and is from their Creature Feature setting (A modern fantasy setting wherein Cryptids and Magic are real but in our modern world.) They are as such, a modern human young adult... Who is also a demon + magic user.

Strange little pansexual altersex genderqueer poetry-nerd that they are... The modern setting also means they are literally just a tumblr user. A fellow countryman, so to speak.

HOWEVER.... Ali's true origin was in *Purrgatorio*, a scrapped visual novel of mine set in the MYMK universe! They were simply retrofitted into CF as the joke with Purrgatorio was that a regular human had mysteriously just shown up in MYMK's pure-furry setting.... And then when we scrapped the project we got all attatched to our little not-so-blank-slate protagonist. But I'll put a pin in Purrgatorio for later.

Making Your MK.

(Guest of honour: My super unfinished website <3)

Okay so here's the big one. The setting with.... (looks at spreadsheet) 109 characters not including so-called incidentals. At time of writing.

MYMK is home to... Multiple stories. As you would hope when a setting has 100+ characters. I'd wager each story has about 10-20 relevant characters tops but with a big shared universe like this there gets to be overlap between casts!!! Yay !!! 😊😊😊

MYMK is the name of the main story in the setting. Pronounced "Making your Mark", it is centered around Markus Felidae (The purple one) and their family. It's very action-adventure-y. It's also the plot I'm most secretive about the backend of since I WILL!!!!! Turn it into a nice prose story with pictures SOMEDAY!!!!! But for now tee hee hee secrets secrets. Markus' family is strange and ragtag and is keeping something from them... I can't ramble on too long here unless further prompted in asks about specifics but!!! Everyone in the MYMK folder has a fully furbished little profile with a blurb about them. So if you're curious....

But yeah, I tend to think of the MYMK setting more in terms of its Locations than its Casts, due to the overlapping nature of them all. The Malbranche may be the villains of the main plot, but they're also major players in relation to The Palsgrave who are the antagonists of Moraine, etc etc,

The country everything in MYMK is set in is called New Orphidian, Southern hemisphere little thing, here's a very cartoony map of it.

Um. Cliffside!

Since it's the best map I have... Here's an exclusive sneak peek of a Zine I'll be getting back to once the fandom brain cools down a bit.... :3c

(... I REALLY NEED TO DO A TOUR AROUND THE MINECRAFT CLIFFSIDE SAM AND I BUILT..... IT'S SO CUTE....)

Cliffside is situated on a big ol' Cliff.

A tiny hamlet of a place, it used to have reason to exist, and now does not. It's not even a good tourist locale, as the cliff is much too dangerous compared to the nicer tourist spot of Welkin just a little north. Not to mention nearby Moraine's allure as a tax haven with no labour laws place where a bunch of TV and Movies are filmed!

It's where most of MYMK's main cast reside (except the antagonists from the Big City Varmonte), and is as such a location I have a lot of tiny little worldbuilding thoughts about :)

I won't go into the other locations here just because then this post will SUPER get away from me but... I think most importantly for Cliffside right now...

Is that it's where Purrgatorio is set. Yes, that VN I said got scrapped. It's not dead. It is in fact serving it's original intended purpose as "A (mostly) noncanon exploration of character voice and setting"

It's back and its prose babeyyyyyyy!!! (A BUNCH OF THE EARLY STUFF IS ME BEING SUPER RUSTY ... BE WARNED)

Purrgatorio is currently the most publicly available coherent work I have out of my ocs! It's very low-stakes and serves mostly to bash my toys together and see what character dynamics come out, but you can look if you want to!

(There's also a whole THING on the meta of its Canonicity... It's not canon, but it's also not NOT canon. But if I talk about Metanarrative Timeline Collapse in my normal mundane non-magic setting im gonna sound bonkers ✌)

Ali's dynamics with the MYMK cast are so goddamn funny to me. Like I literally just handed my OCs some ET shit but ET is a sexually repressed tumblr user with a mood disorder.

But yeah I don't think I can coherently string together much more about MYMK without just actually explaining THE WHOLE PLOT.... Though I will absolutely elaborate on any given character's Whole Deal if i'm prompted. (OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT CHROME AND TABITHA. WAIT. OKAY THERE'S. OK NO IF I TALKED ABOUT THEM IT'D JUST END UP AN ESSAY ,SORRY..)

So here's some bonafide classic images for the road.

(IF TUMBLR BREAKS THE FORMATTING AND JUST PUTS THESE ONE AFTER THE OTHER INSTEAD OF IN A GRID IM SO SORRY LMAOOOOO)

... And as for the other folders on my toyhouse!

Misc and Fandom are what they sound like. Self explanatory,

Then, Ysden is @samhainian's fantasy setting. It's where our DnD games happen to be set but it's also a general fantasy setting :)

and Monster of the Week... Is currently being revamped! It used to be a modern world setting with hidden magic, now it's going to be more... Adventure Time-y. Fantasy world get iphone. Yknow. It has a lower Age Rating than MYMK's "anything goes", as it started as a Pitch Bible Project in my animation class. They're a little neglected but I still love them :) The revamp is extemely recent and not reflected in any of the art/writing yet but I'm workin on it. It still doesn't have a proper title..... OTL

So yeah!! Uh. This wasn't as comprehensive as I was hoping but it turns out I have way, WAY too many thoughts on my guys. And no idea what to do when im actually asked about them so !!!! This was not a very coherent ramble but it was a ramble !

There's things like essays on Chrome and Tabitha (Link) and also The Queer Gender Identities Of The Whole Cast (Link) hiding around on my toyhouse, and once again, Purrgatorio (Link) serves as my sandbox for playing with how these characters act in situations.

But..... ! I did try to make my toyhouse approachable for the average layman. Every character in the MYMK folder (Link) has a *blurb* of information, rather than a giant wall of text explaining everything about them. I want people to be able to understand their general vibe at a glance rather than be overwhelmed.

In any case ???? Uh. Fun game for everyone: If you know your homestuck classpect, every single MYMK character has a classpect and lunar sway. and a birthday. Try and find your andrew-hussie assigned kin! As a Prospitian Witch of Heart, I share my classpect and lunar sway with Chrome. No I don't know what this means. It worries me honestly he's kind of an asshole.

[catsinmugs]

made a pool lot for mt. komo because it's almost summer in ma game!!