#im sorry im like this know that i love you and let me withdraw back into my cave thanks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

iwasntstable · 4 months ago

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n.s. | if i'm there

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➔𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞➔➔　𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦!+　　[𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝐀𝐎𝟯]

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I didn't want to believe how much you needed help / And I just left you to be all by yourself / And now I wish I had seen that you weren't doing well / But I just came back to see how hard you fell Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall / You'll have a friend down in Hell after all 　　— If I'm There - Bad Omens

summary: when things start getting bad, you withdraw. ignoring calls and texts, and descending into bad habits as you self-isolate. but noah knows what you're like and he loves you too much to let you suffer alone.

content tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort, poor mental health, mentions of disordered eating, discussions of food, self-destructive behaviour, fluff.

word count: 3.8k.

note: having a rough time recently so enjoy the self-indulgent product of my stressing. 　　PS: please tell me if the layout of this post is fucked up so I can fix it for you.

Things are getting bad again. You find your sleep schedule sliding later and later, falling asleep in the early hours of the morning and waking in the afternoon, bypassing the day altogether. Meals are becoming infrequent and poor in quality. Appetite dwindling and opting to eat half a bag of microwave rice at 3am rather than dedicating time to creating a nutritious and satisfying meal. Truth be told, you didn’t have the energy to cook anything more, and the malnutrition itself likely played a part in that lack of energy. The trash was left to build up, and the laundry hadn’t been done in weeks.

The progression of all of this was gradual. So gradual, that by the time you recognised what was happening, it was all but too late to stop the rapid descent into your depression. And as the days go by, you start to withdraw into yourself. Messages from friends begin to go unanswered. You tell yourself you’ll reply later, when you have the mental bandwidth to engage in conversation. But later ends up being not at all. Too many days have passed, and you feel like it’s too late to reply now; you don’t know how. That includes your boyfriend.

　　　　　　　　　　　[Noah 💘]

　　　　　　　　　　　Tuesday 　　　　　　　　　　　10:45AM

— Morning! Do you wanna call later? Miss your voice

morning! I have a headache — right now and I feel like it's not gonna go away :( I'll let you know though. I miss you too ❤️ —

— Aw I'm sorry :( — I hope you feel better soon — Text me later and let me know how you are ❤️

　　　　　　　　　　　02:27PM

— Hey babe how are you feeling?

my head still hurts :( —

— Want me to come over and look after you? — Have you eaten yet?

you don't have to do that, I'd be — shitty company anyway just wanna sleep —

— Okay :( — I'll text you later tonight so you can sleep

　　　　　　　　　　　10:09PM

— How are you feeling? — Are you sleeping? — Hope you’re resting well. Text me when you wake up so I know you’re okay — I love you ❤️ — Goodnight ❤️

　　　　　　　　　　Wednesday 　　　　　　　　　　　08:41AM

— Morning, how’re you feeling?

　　　　　　　　　　　09:13AM

— Are you awake? — Babe, are you okay?

hey! sorry I was still asleep. I feel a — little better but my head still hurts :(

— I’m gonna cancel today and come over — I don’t want you to be alone when you’re not well

no don’t do that, i’m okay really — you know this happens sometimes. I just wanna rest, you don’t have to cancel for me. not when work is important

— You’re important too — Please let me look after you

I love you and I love that — you want to be here for me, but all I want to do right now is sleep

I don’t want you to cancel — important schedules just to watch me sleep all day I’ll feel better soon. just need to give it time. —

— I’d cancel to sit and watch you sleep in a heartbeat — I love you, I just want you to be okay — I have to go, I’ll text you later okay?

�� I’ll text you back when I can, — if I don’t reply I’m probably asleep so don’t worry have a good day I love you —

　　　　　　　　　　　10:26PM

— Hey babe sorry I didn’t text all day I was so fucking busy — How’re you doing now? — Are you sleeping again?

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 10:31PM]

— Text or call me when you wake up, even if it’s the middle of the night I’ll leave my sound on — I love you ❤️

　　　　　　　　　　Thursday 　　　　　　　　　　　08:41AM

— Hey, are you awake?

　　　　　　　　　　　08:55AM

— Hello??

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 08:59AM]

— Message me when you wake up

　　　　　　　　　　　12:20PM

— Babe?? — I’m worried — Even if you don’t wanna talk can you please let me know you’re okay?

　　　　　　　　　　　12:46PM

— Babe please answer me

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 12:48PM]

　　　　　　　　　　　01:20PM

hey, sorry I missed your messages — I’m okay sorry for worrying you —

— I was just about to come over — I still might — I’m worried about you

please don’t I just don’t — wanna see anyone right now

— Even me?

I’m sorry — I’ll text you tomorrow — — If that’s what you want — I love you

　　　　　　　　　　　Friday 　　　　　　　　　　　03:47PM

— I don’t want to bother you, I’m trying to give you space if that’s what you need — But I’m worried about you — You haven’t messaged me all day — Did I do something wrong?

　　　　　　　　　　　04:10PM

— Babe please answer me

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:12PM]

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:15PM]

　　　　　　　　　　　04:18PM

— Your friends said they haven’t heard from you in days — What’s going on? You can talk to me. — You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to but text someone back, please — I just wanna know that you’re okay

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:23PM]

And that’s how Noah ended up outside your door. Banging incessantly and shouting your name through the wood. You could hear him from where you were wrapped up in bed, but you were half hoping he would just drop it and go away. Realising quickly, however, the futility of that hope when you heard another voice join the sound of his. That of your neighbour, the nosy one from the house on the right.

You groan and throw the blanket off yourself, flinching a little when your feet touch the cold floor. You have no choice but to go downstairs, and no time to change your appearance. Hoping to whatever God will listen that Noah doesn’t make a comment on the clothes you’d been wearing for the past week before you can get in the shower and change.

“I’m just really worried about her,” you can hear the unmistakable tone of Noah’s voice through the door before you even open it.

Hesitating for a moment with your hand on the door handle, you decide to eavesdrop on the conversation. “I haven’t seen her for, ohhh let me think... has to be about a week now,” despite the man’s voice wavering with age, it came loud and clear through the door. An unfortunate side effect of his hearing loss.

“A week?!” Noah exclaimed. Having enough of the old man sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, you unlock the door quickly, wrenching it open and taking a surprised Noah by the arm.

“Oh! Nice to see you, dear. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” The old man sneers.

“Yeah, nice seeing you, Trevor,” you barely extend him a glance as you drag Noah in through your doorway, slamming the door closed and turning the key. You let out a deep sigh, your palms and forehead resting against the cool wood.

Noah calls your name softly. You squeeze your eyes tight and take in a breath before you turn to face him. Putting on the best phoney smile you can muster.

“Sorry about him, he’s always in everyone’s business. What are you-”

“He said he hasn’t seen you in a week,” he says matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of a smile on his face. “Your friends said they haven’t heard from you in days either, and you’ve been ignoring my texts. And calls.”

Your heart seizes at the sadness in his eyes. He stands there in your front room, his usual sweatpants and hoodie, but he just looks so defeated. You always tell him he looks like an upset puppy when he’s sad, and the puppy-dog eyes are working overtime on you right now. “I told you, I’ve just been busy, and I-”

“And you had a headache, and you missed my texts, and you didn’t want to talk,” his voice was as stern as his expression. You knew he wasn’t an idiot. That there’s no way he’d believe your—at best—flimsy excuses. You stand frozen to the spot, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve. Picking at the stitches, trying to distract yourself from the lump forming in your throat. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Noah questions.

You swallow roughly, “I don’t know what you... I don’t-”

He says your name firmly and takes a step towards you, “I’m going to ask you how you are, and I would like you to answer me honestly.”

Feeling your heart begin to race in your chest, you swallow again, but it does nothing to get rid of the tightness in your throat. Or the dizziness creeping up on you.

“Are you doing bad again?” He sounds softer this time, and you almost wish he would just scream at you because when he’s kind and attentive like this, you can’t help but crumble and shut down.

You clench your jaw as your breathing gets quicker, shallower, and you feel the unmistakable burn of tears in your eyes. “I’m fine,” your voice comes out cracked and weak, not at all the sound of someone who's fine.

“Don’t pretend you’re okay. Please don’t lie to me, because I know you’re not okay!” Noah crosses the room to meet you, holding his hands outstretched towards you, “what can I do for you? Please, I want to help.”

You cover your mouth as you choke back a sob, wrapping your other arm around your middle; you can’t hold it in anymore, and the floodgates open. Gasping for breath that seems to never come, you grip the front of your shirt tight in your fist, the clothing suddenly feeling suffocating and stiflingly hot.

“Oh, baby. Come here,” Noah takes you by the shoulders and pulls you into his chest, where you fall into him and cling onto him like he’s your only lifeline. “I need you to breathe for me, okay? Slowly, in and out,” he strokes soothing circles against your back as he demonstrates to you how to breathe. “Come and sit down here, yeah? The couch is right here.”

You barely register your legs moving for the numbness extending across your entire body, from your fingertips all the way down to your toes. Your tears are hot on your face, and every time you try to wipe them away, they’re just replaced by more in a never-ending stream. The room feels like it’s spinning around you as you move, only worsening the feeling of nausea rising in your throat. The plush cushions of the couch are a welcome relief.

“You’re holding your breath, I need you to breathe. Just how I am, that’s it,” he cradles your head to his chest through your shaky attempts to take in a breath through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth. Your breath hitches uncontrollably with every inhale, taking in tiny bursts of air at a time. Noah, though, has nothing but praise on his lips: “That’s it. You’re doing so well, just listen to my voice.”

You missed his voice. As you worsened and withdrew, you found any excuse to avoid going out to see him, and you had been ignoring his calls for days. You knew you were doing it, and you missed him desperately, but with every day that passed, you found it harder and harder to reach out. It was hard for you to reach out for help in the first place, hard for you to admit to anyone that you needed help. Hard to admit it to yourself. Opting instead to suffer in silence and just push through it until you finally broke. You didn’t know any other way.

The familiar presence of him by your side eases the pace of your racing heart, allowing each breath to come a little easier. A little calmer. “I hate to see you hurting like this,” he whispers into your hair, his hand stroking through it gently, working to soothe the seemingly unquenchable anxiety. “I want to help you, please let me help you.”

It broke your heart to hear the pain in his voice. You never wanted to hurt him, but that’s all you seem to do. That cold hand of dread tightens its grip on your chest again, panic filling your lungs and replacing all the air. “I’m sorry,” you barely choke out, gripping onto Noah tighter. Warring with yourself, wanting to hold him close, but feeling like you need to push him away.

“You don’t need to apologise, ever. I’m here, I’m right here,” he runs his hand up and down your back, cradling you close. He can’t help but notice that through the fabric of your shirt, the bones of your spine are ever so slightly more prominent than before. He keeps his mouth shut. Focussing instead on quelling your distress and holding you tight in his arms.

“I just- I fuck everything up. I can’t do anything right, I don’t deserve your love, I don’t deserve you-” Once you start talking, you can’t stop, finally letting it all out until Noah cuts you off, incapable of hearing you degrade yourself anymore.

“No. No, that’s not even remotely true. Don’t say that about yourself,” he says firmly, holding you just a little tighter.

You shake your head against him, “all I do is hurt people and push you away, and I don’t know how to stop. You don’t deserve that, you shouldn’t have to put up with me.”

“I don’t ‘put up with you’. I love you, and I want to be here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it.”

“You shouldn’t have to drop everything to come deal with me when you’re so busy. You deserve someone that isn’t so fucking hard to love.”

With that, Noah pushes you backwards by the shoulders, holding you there so he can look into your eyes when he speaks. “You are not hard to love. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had the privilege of doing. You just…” He takes a deep breath, cupping your cheek and brushing away the tears from under your eyes. “You just need to let me in, and let me show you you’re just as worthy of love as anyone else is.”

The image of him blurs when the tears overflow from your eyes again, your face crumpling as you bow your head. “You’ll leave me," your voice shaking with the force of your sobs.

"Why would you ever think I'd leave you?" he asks, dismayed by your fear.

"Everyone always leaves," you tell him, voice brittle and quiet, shaking your head. "It's only a matter of time before you leave too."

"I love you," Noah feels tears prick at his own eyes. "I love you so, so much. And I'm not going anywhere." He lifts your head, once again brushing away your tears so he can look into your eyes, "please trust me to help you."

"I'm just so tired," you confess, and he pulls you into his arms again.

“I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them alone. There’s nothing you could do that would drive me away. And the things that would, I know you’d never do,” he runs a comforting hand through your hair as you cry, his other arm secure around your waist. Your tears soak into his shirt, but he doesn’t mind. He wants you to give it all to him—all your sorrows, all your grief—so that he can bear it with you.

You desperately want to believe his words. To lean on him when you need him the most, but that insecure piece inside of you won’t let you yield. You don’t know how to open up to anyone without feeling like a burden.

Noah stays right there with you until the tears subside and your breathing evens out. Your head resting in his lap as he reassuringly strokes your hair, you feel the beginnings of a dull ache in your head that makes you drowsy. He rubs soothing circles into your back with his other hand, shifting slightly to get a better look at your face. “Have you eaten yet today?” He asks tentatively. Feeling your throat constrict under the pressure of guilt, you know you can’t lie to him. You know he sees right through you, so you decide to try being honest by shaking your head. “Want me to cook something for you? Or we can order something? My treat.”

You know he means well, but you don’t know how to say you don’t have an appetite without worrying him. He won’t let you go the entire day without eating, but all you want to do is sleep.

“Please talk to me,” he pleads, “I need to hear you.”

On a shaky breath, you settle for a half truth. “I don’t think there’s anything to cook.”

“That’s fine, we can order food then. What do you want?”

Chewing on your lip, you freeze. The silence stretches on far too long for you to be deciding what restaurant to order from, it’s clear you’re unable to answer.

Noah sighs your name, “you have to eat something.”

“I know. I just… I just don’t want to,” he remains quiet, waiting for you to continue. “I don’t feel hungry. Thinking about it is overwhelming. I just want to sleep so I don’t have to think about it.”

“What have you been eating these past few days?” He asks cautiously, his tone light. Conscious to not sound accusatory.

You sigh, knowing there’s no way of escaping this. “Microwave stuff, mostly,” you play with the fabric of his sweatpants, feeling his leg underneath, fidgeting your anxiety away. “Rice, oats, ramen. Stuff I don’t have to wash up after.”

“Have you been eating every day?”

The question hangs heavy in the air, the tension only thickening when you answer "no,” barely above a whisper.

You feel him nod. Quiet for a moment until he too speaks so quietly, you almost didn’t hear it. “You can’t go on like this.”

“I know,” you confess.

“Please let me help you.”

The desperation in his voice is what does it—the final straw. You sit up straight, turning to face him. Wiping the residual tears from your cheeks and looking him in the eye. You know it’s time to really be honest.

“It’s hard for me-” Your voice catches in your throat as the threat of crying again creeps up on you, not quite realising how much your body would resist. Taking a second to compose yourself—a deep breath in, eyes closed, releasing it slowly—your resolve strengthens and you continue. “It’s hard for me to open up to people. To admit when I’m struggling. I’m so used to feeling like I’m burdening everyone with my problems, so I just keep it all to myself. And by the time I realise I’m going down that road again, it’s too late to stop it.”

“It’s never too late,” Noah says reassuringly, tucking both sides of your hair behind your ears—the left first, then the right. “I mean this in the most loving way possible, but you don’t get to decide whether you’re a burden. You don’t get to take that choice away from me. The choice to help you. Your problems will never be a burden to me, no matter how big or small. You will never be a burden to me. I love you. I choose you. And I’ll never think poorly of you for needing help, ever.”

You don’t know what to say. Your eyes fixed on his. One of your favourite things about him is his big brown eyes. Always so full of comfort. So full of love that even you, with all of your self-doubt, can’t deny it. “I’m sorry. I know you said not to apologise, but I think I need to. I’m sorry for making you worry and for pushing you away. I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Noah takes your hands in his. Large palms enveloping your own entirely. “Seeing you hurting is what hurts me the most. I love you so much, all I want is for you to be happy and healthy.”

You squeeze his hands in yours, “I love you, Noah. I’ll try harder, I promise. Feeling so unwanted for so long before I met you, I think I didn’t realise just how lucky I am to have you until now.” Noah raises one of your hands, kissing the back firmly and holding it there, savouring the feel of your skin against his lips. Timidly, you ask, “can we get pizza?”

He breaks out into a smile, “of course we can! But you have to text your friends back first," he bargains, "even if it’s just something short.”

“Deal,” you can’t help but return his smile. “My phone is upstairs, I’m just gonna go get it.”

“Wait!” he calls as you stand, pulling you back to the sofa and into him with a hand on the back of your head, “can I kiss you first?”

Without a word, you lean into him, closing the gap between you and feeling his lips on yours for the first time in weeks. That familiar burn of tears threatening to escape your eyes returns, and when you pull away, those beautiful brown eyes are full of concern.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him, laughing awkwardly, “happy tears. I just missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” his smile taking on a more solemn appearance this time. “But I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, please don’t ever forget that.”

“Don’t forget that I love you too. No matter what happens. No matter how stupidly self-destructive I act.”

Noah pulls you in for one final embrace before letting you retrieve your phone. You spend time texting back each of your friends, apologising for your absence and telling them you were okay, that Noah is here, and you’d explain more later. Noah, sitting at your right, creates your pizza order, periodically asking what else you’d like adding.

The two of you spend the night watching trash TV, settling into your usual comfort and hurling insults at the characters for making stupid decisions while you eat your food. Only realising after it arrived just how hungry you really were. And when you’re finished eating, Noah and you head upstairs.

You feel like a new person after you shower, coming out of the bathroom to find Noah relaxed against your headboard. The sheets on your bed changed, and a fresh set of clothes lay waiting for you to change into for bed.

Accepting finally how much lighter everything feels when someone is around to help you. You slide under the clean sheets, comforted by the warmth of Noah’s body beside you for the first time in too long. And just as you fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of his hand stroking your back, you’re determined to never let things get this bad again. Knowing you need to trust him, because trust is the foundation of love, and you love Noah with every fibre of your being. And despite how hard it is sometimes, you need to let him love you back.

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✉ C:/SYSTEM/APP/TAG

ᯤ 𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗦 (21) :　 ⌞⬤ 7 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾⌝ @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning | @english-fucker @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard | @seven-glass-kids @runadaggerthroughmychest

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#so if noah could come over and drag me out of this pit i'm in that would be great!#noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens #bad omens cult #fluff #angst #C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT #C:/PROJECTS/SEARCH/TAG/ANGST #C:/PROJECTS/SEARCH/TAG/FLUFF #C:/PROJECTS/SEARCH/TAG/EMOTIONALHURTCOMFORT

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souichieatr · 1 year ago

Text

meeting their teammates

with suna r. tendou s. tsukishima k.

a/n: i think i'm going through suna withdrawals guys

suna

suna had texted you before practice that he forgot his water bottle and he'd rather die than drink the water fountain at the gym so you decided to surprise him with a water bottle from the corner store. opening the door as quietly as possible but still making a loud squeak, peaking your head through, the manager of the team turns their head to you. running to you so the practice isn't disrupted.

“hey there, what can we help you with?” they say sweetly with a smile.

“i'm sorry to interrupt, i was just wanting to drop this bottle off for suna rintaro , he forgot his” you say, holding the bottle up. they nod their head turning their body to face the coach, the manager makes a gesture with their hands and the coach nods. the coach yells that the boys could take a 15 minute break.

“suna rintaro could i get you here for a second” the manager yells for your boyfriend. hearing the mocking “ohs” makes you giggle. suna drags his feet as he walks to you two making eye contact with you he perks up a bit.

“hey what are you doing here?” he asks quietly as he pulls you into a hug.

“i got you- can't b-breathe rin” you try to say but sounding more of a wheeze as he squeezes you. chuckling at your reaction he lets go and steps back.

“hm?”

“i got you this” you say trying to catch your breath handing him the bottle. his manager laughs at the gesture as they walk off. he grabs the water bottle making sure to graze his fingers against your soft hands.

“WHAT YA GOT THERE SUNA RIN?” a voice starkes you both from behind him. leaning your head to the side to see who it was. “ohh is that a gift suna?” he says again.

“what if it is? jealous?” suna says turning around to face the blond, turning back to you. “this is atsumu” he says as you nod your head.

“hi im y/n” you say, reaching your hand forward as a friendly gesture.

“THIS IS YER GIRLFRIEND?” atsumu grabs your hand and shakes it, “he talks about ya all the time and he rarely ever talks” he talks as a small circle of guys form. suna hesitantly introduces everyone as they all welcome you in the gym.

tendou

he's asked you so many times to come to one of his volleyball practices and meet all his teammates. you've met ushiwaka a handful of times as him and tendou hang out a lot. you had forgotten you left your headphones in tendous backpack and before practice he'd told you to stop by to pick them up. let's kill two birds with one stone he had said. approaching the metal door you try and shake the nerves off.

“you wanna open it or just have us burn out here?” you hear someone say as they snicker, startled you turned around.

“you could use some color so you can stay” you say as you smile at him.

“you're no fun” he says pouting but he quickly leans down and kisses your cheek. “would you like me tan?”

“i'd still like you if you were bald”

“you must really love me” he says wrapping his arms around you, leaning down but a gasp from behind you makes you stop. tendou looks up and starts to hold back a laugh. “yes goshiki?”

“oh uh im sorry for you know-” goshiki stutters, letting go of tendou you turn to the boy.

“hi im y/n you're goshiki?” you say giving him your hand as you smile at him.

“goshiki this is my partner” tendou says ushering goshiki closer to you two. goshiki shakes your hand giving a weird look to your red haired partner.

“he talks a lot about you! he's really proud of the progress you've made” you say as tendou whines. goshikis eyes widen as you start to look at tendou with a smirk.

tsukishima

he'd forgotten his sports glasses at his desk he had texted you when he got to practice complaining that he had left them. sneaking back into your homeroom and grabbing the glasses from the desk you make your way to the double doors leading into the gym. opening them and peaking in a couple guys you've never met look at you but you spot yamaguchi and he too looks over. his eyes widen and he tilts his head to the side. you assume that's his way of asking why you're there. holding up your boyfriends glasses he nods his head and he jogs to the other side of the court to the coach. the couch says they can get some water and you watch yamaguchi approach tsukishima and points at you, watching yamaguchi’s hand you and tsukishima make eye contact. walking to you at a fast pace he scoots the two of you outside.

“you better have a good reason why you're here” he says, shutting the door behind him.

“oh hush i didn't come here to embarrass you i thought you would want these” you say gently holding the glasses in your palm as you stretch your arm out to him. he looks at your hand and widens his eyes then smirks.

“didn't know you cared so much” he says taking them.

“don't make me trip you-” the door opens, pushing tsukishima closer to you, he grabs you gently, pushing you back so you don't get hit.

“TSUKISHIMA YOU BASTARD SNEAKING OFF TO MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND?” a guy with a buzzcut started shouting and followed behind him was the rest of the team.

“YEAH TSUKISHIMA YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED” another one shouted this time with dark hair and one strip of blond.

“we're not making out and if we were it really woulndt be any of your business” tsukishima says with a sigh still not turning around to face his team.

“cmon tsukishima at least introduce us” another guy asked his jersey saying ‘1’.

“yeah tsukishima you don't want to be rude” a guy with gray hair said. tsukishima sighed again, turning around slowly with a deadpan expression.

“sorry tsukki i tried blocking the door” yamaguchi said with an awkward smile. you laugh at the interaction between all of them seeing your boyfriend in trouble was quite funny.

“hi im y/n i'm a first year” you say moving from behind tsukishima and giving them all a wave. most of them waved back and offered a welcoming smile. the two boys that shouted hid behind the guy with the number 1 jersey on and were just watching you.

“okay you all introduced yourselves and y/n has to g-” tsukishima was cut off.

“yeah glasses? not going to introduce your girl to your coach?” a blond guy in sandals stepped out. tsukishima glared at him and sighed again.

not proofread

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astraystayyh · 1 year ago

Text

You and I

In which you wrongly lash out at Hyunjin and have to mend it back. Human character who makes mistakes and apologizes for them.

You've always envied the people who seek others' warmth when they are feeling down. They seem to become almost translucent, allowing their sadness to seep away from them as their loved one comforts them- as their words and touch wrap around them, leaving no room for sadness or anger to exist anymore.

You, however, are quite the opposite.

Whenever an emotion overwhelms you, you instantly withdraw yourself, refusing for anyone to approach you. You can't let anyone touch you or talk to you, not when the feel of your clothes against your skin irritates you, and you swear you can hear the sound of each blood droplet rushing through your veins, unbearably loud.

Hyunjin doesn't know this.

How could he know? How do you tell someone you've been dating for one month that something as simple as regulating your emotions drains you? That you need to hide, for a couple of hours, sometimes days, just to feel a semblance of normalcy again.

So, you kept it hidden, trying your best to still your feelings; akin to the surface of an undisturbed river. It was easy to do so when being with Hyunjin brought you immense joy. It almost lulled you into thinking that you'd stay this way forever- happy, content. But you are human, and you can't escape the very essence of it- emotions in their rawest form.

You wish you could have told him- that you'd prefer being alone and that you'd talk to him when you're feeling well again. But it isn't time for regrets now. Not when the thoughts in your head swirl chaotically, making the world around you blur. You're overwhelmed, by your studies and a voice in your head that never truly quits down. And you can feel Hyunjin looking at you from the corner of your eye.

He's been worried about you all night, asking you if you were okay and if there was something he could do to help. But every question seemed to drive you over the edge, pushing you closer and closer to the brink of exploding.

"Baby, are you sure there is nothing I can do?" he asks for the umpteenth time, placing a hand on your shoulder. His concern is evident, stemming from a genuine place of care. And you want to slap a hand on your mouth to stop the words from tumbling out, but you don't.

"You know what I need Hyunjin? For you to leave me alone. Is that so hard to understand for you?" you question, looking straight ahead. You sense him physically recoil at your words, hand swiftly retracting back near his side. "I already told you what to do, and you're just making it worse. I can't deal with this right now."

A low chuckle emanates from him, it sounds cold and distant- nothing like you've ever heard from Hyunjin.

"Deal with this? You mean, deal with me?" he stands up abruptly, hand running angrily through his hair. "You know what? You've made it abundantly clear what you needed from me. I'm just fucking stupid for being worried." He grabs his jacket, as his words pierce you like a bow shot by Achilles himself.

Really now? You brought this on yourself and now you're feeling sad? Did you expect him to apologize, beg for you? The voice in your head taunts you and your own gets caught in your throat. 'Im sorry, stay, I didn't mean to lash out' You want to plead, but you remain silent as if someone's robbed you of your ability to speak.

"I'm sorry for making it worse for you, you don't have to worry about it ever again," he sounds angry, but you can sense the underlying sadness in his words. Your eyes meet his and the look on his face tears you apart. You've never seen him so... stricken, so severely affected; by your own doing none the less.

Hyunjin slams the door behind him, as an ugly sob escapes your lips. You've hurt him, badly, you aren't sure how to fix it when you can't even fix yourself.

....

Two days have passed. Forty-eight hours of trying to sort out your thoughts, only to have them tangled even further. The reason why you were overwhelmed in the first place fades into the back of your mind. The only thing you could think of was Hyunjin.

He hadn't called or texted, not that you expected him to. He said you didn't have to worry about it anymore, so he's giving you space, lots of space at that. Isn't that what you wanted? It was, but not like this. Not at the expense of hurting him.

You look absolutely disheveled as you knock on Hyunjin's door. It's 5:47 pm, an odd time for reconciliation, at least that's what you hope will happen as Hyunjin opens the door.

He's seemingly taken aback at the sight of you. His eyes swiftly narrow, and you take an unconscious step back at the animosity in his gaze. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk, please?"

Hyunjin scrutinizes you for a moment, his expression guarded. He looks far better than you, but there are newfound dark circles under his eyes. You hope you aren't the cause behind him.

"Come in," he steps away and you enter, uncertainty hanging over the both of you like a heavy fog.

Hyunjin settles on the couch but you remain standing, pacing back and forth as you try to organize your thoughts. Everything you wanted to say seemingly vanished you when you needed it most.

"Sit down. You're making me dizzy," he finally says, rubbing his eyes tiredly. You oblige quickly, heels now tapping furiously on the ground.

"Would you like some water?" he asks after a while, and there is a timid softness in his words, one you clung to so you'd be able to breathe again.

"No, thank you." You lick your lips nervously. "Hyunjin, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you that way. I was mean and rude and I understand that I had hurt you. But it wasn't my intention. It's never ever my intention to hurt you. I care about you too much for that."

"People you care about shouldn't make things worse for you," he points out, refusing to meet your gaze.

"You aren't... I mean, it's not you. It's me."

"Really?" he arches an eyebrow at the stereotypical sentence and you groan, frustrated at your inability to articulate your regret properly.

"Look, I got overwhelmed and when I'm like this, I need to stay alone. It has nothing to do with you, or how I feel for you. And I feel for you a lot, and I'm so scared I'll lose you and I can't seem to speak well-" tears trail down your cheek and you wipe them away angrily. You brought this on yourself, you shouldn't cry on top of it.

"I'm so sorry, immensely sorry, Hyunjin. if you still want me, I promise you I will never do this again. I won't lash out at you, you don't deserve that and it was uncalled for. I'm really sorry."

His silence is deafening as you nervously pick at your cuticles, scratching them over and over in your anxiousness. Why isn't he saying anything?

"Okay, um..." you chuckle nervously, as the bulge in your throat threatens to swallow you whole. "I'll let you think of it. I'm so sorry again. And I'm sorry for coming before asking you if you were busy. I'm sorry to bother you and I'm- I'm sorry I'm this way." You hurriedly stand up, heading towards the door when a warm hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

Hyunjin's arms circle your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder, anchoring you in place.

"When I'm sad or angry, being near you makes me feel better. It really does. I thought I could do the same for you. That's why I insisted on staying. But I shouldn't have. You and I are different, doesn't mean it's bad," he mumbles onto your neck, tightening his hold on you.

"You've hurt me a lot, but I forgive you because I want us to do better next time. No yelling. No harsh words, okay?"

"Okay. I'll do better. I'm so sorry. So sorry, Hyunjin, you have no idea."

"It's okay. We're good now."

"Really?" you turn around, clutching his arms tightly. "I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you, stop apologizing," he giggles softly, wiping away the tears trailing down your face.

"I'm sorry, I swear I won't do it again," you apologize again, burying your face in his chest. your tears dampen his shirt but you can't move away. Not that you could in the first place, since his hold on you only tightens further.

"I believe you. Stop crying, please."

"Okay, I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry for saying sorry."

"Shh, baby. No more crying. I missed you," Hyunjin admits softly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"I missed you so much more. More than you know."

"Maybe we should start telling each other exactly how much, hm? Not leave it up to imagination."

"Okay, I will. I want to work on this with you. If you want."

"I want to. Couldn't sleep without you."

"I'm so sorry," it slips from your mouth before you can stop it, guilt overflowing from you in waves.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing, hm?" he questions as he picks you up and spins you around, as a laugh escapes your lips, morphing into full-blown giggles. It is only when a genuine smile graces your lips that Hyunjin puts you down once again.

#stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #hwang hyunjin x you #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin angst #hyunjin angst #skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids reactions #skz scenarios #skz au #hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin x reader #this one personally hurt me guys

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f4ggydog · 11 days ago

Note

no idea why im sending this but 🫡 just got out a decently long relationship. now need lottieshauna to rail the shit out of me so it can fix me and i forget this ever happened

HEY ANON IM SORRY TO GET TO U SO LATE IN SUCH DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES BUT DONT WORRY I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT U (and I do have the juice)

lottie and shauna love tag-teaming the shit out of you. it’s become their favorite hobby honestly. of course they can’t bring it up when a stranger asks them what they enjoy doing, but they can exercise their right to your body in the comfort of their home thankfully. lottie always starts out right in your pussy while shauna’s cock takes a rest inside of your mouth. you’re gargling through shauna’s heavy dick, your moans and whimpers getting muffled by the thick flesh as lottie hits your perfect spot. lottie knows where to angle to get you going. she knows where your g spot’s located and where your legs will buck and your eyes will roll back. it’s like she’s memorized your body like a book.

shauna, on the other hand, focuses on moistening her cock up. she rams into your throat, making you spit and drool onto her length. “that’s fucking right,” she growls. “let me use your pretty little throat. it was made for me anyway.”

meanwhile, lottie’s looking over and wagging her finger in only slight disapproval. “now now shauna,” lottie coos. “you don’t want to cum inside of their mouth so soon, do you? they’ve still got plenty of room in them elsewhere.”

“i know what i’m doing lottie,” shauna grunts, holding your hair tightly and kissing your forehead. “fuck, you feel so good baby. you’re such a pretty cocksleeve for me.”

“are you sure?” lottie raises an eyebrow. “you sure their asshole isn’t another perfect place for your cock? maybe even tighter than their cute throat.”

lottie leans in closer and presses a kiss to your face.

“not that you don’t already suck cock like a champ, baby doll.”

shauna obliges and removes her cock from your mouth, swiping your lips clean of spit. lottie continues pounding into your pussy, her balls twitching and her length’s musk mixing with the smell of your pussy juices. she whispers near your ear, “she’s gonna take care of you, lovely. just like I am, okay? just relax and loosen up that pretty asshole.”

shauna dives right in, her cock’s tip barely giving prior notice before she thrusts. you’re overwhelmed by both pain and pleasure, the sensitivity driving you nuts but also leaving you yearning. you want more, even if the pain catches up to you before the pleasure does. your head’s thrown back, your lips are bitten and your body’s spasming, an orgasm already approaching. but shauna soon withdraws her cock and nudges lottie. “let’s take turns on this cute slut. i get their pussy now. you promised that I could cum in their pussy yesterday?”

lottie nods in agreement, giving in to shauna’s demands. what you do know for sure is you’ll be walking out with cum pouring out of both your holes.

#shauna shipman #lottie matthews #shauna yellowjackets #lottie yellowjackets #lottie matthews x reader #shauna shipman x reader #shauna shipman x you #lottieshauna #yellowjackets #yellowjackets fanfiction

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natsglorifiedsimp · 2 years ago

Text

Snacks? And...

A/n: HI HI!!! BECAUSE IM HAPPY AND I FEEL VERY GOOD I DECIDED TO WRITE A FIC BECAUSE WHY NOT HEHE

If anyone wants to talk to me just slide through my dms hehehe :))

When you got recruited by Nick Fury and got introduced to the team they were– uhm let's say confused but also scared.

You looked like an ice-cold bitch but also baby-faced. It's like someone trapped a bitch faced woman inside a woman with such a baby young-like feature.

They described you as a mean girl in a typical high school movie but with a face of a cartoon playing on Disney that every child repeats.

But they wouldn't deny you were cute and also pretty. You have strong features just like Nat and when you smile you looked like a soft baby giggling.

But they wouldn't mess with you. You talk like a bitch and have no filter.

One night Tony was making fun of the smudge on your face that you didn't know existed. He commented that it looked like someone stepped on your face. And you replied that he looked like that every day and you didn't mention a thing.

He never messed with you after that.

But when they got the news that you and Nat were dating. They were all happy and supportive.

Sam even said "The scariest couple on earth."

You weren't that bad. You were friendly in a way that it's comfortable for everyone. The teasing and bickering was always there but they loved you.

You were adorable when you smiled or cackled at someone tripping. You find all things funny even when Tony makes a face.

Nat didn't know that you had that side since you guys dated. She didn't know how carefree and clumsy you were. And the more she got to know you the more she fell hard.

"Honey?" Nat groggily said.

You slowly turned your head at her direction. "Uhm.. Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" Nat smirked.

You were laying on your stomach one hand with a single chip about to be eaten and the other is clutching on a plushie she bought for your birthday. And there was a bag of chips opened right beside you and a phone that is depending on the pillow where it's leaning.

"Eating?" you sheepishly said. "Annddd watching greys anatomy?" you grinned guiltily.

"I'm sorry," you said. "Did I wake you?" you pouted. "I'm sorry, I'll put back the chips and go to sleep"

‘Oh my god she's mad at me’ you thought. You slowly got up trying not to disturb her anymore.

"Honey, it's okay," Nat assured. "You didn't wake me" she slowly eased the crease between your eyebrows with her fingers.

"You're not mad?" you asked.

"Why would I be?" she chuckled. "You sneaking snacks here and eating them while watching Grey's Anatomy? Why would I be mad huh?" she teased.

"I woke you up" you pouted guiltily.

She rolled her eyes playfully, "I told you, you didn't" she booped your nose.

"Okay," you grinned eating the forgotten chip on your fingers. "You want some?" you offered.

"Sur—"

"Oops, that was the last one" you pointed to your mouth. "Hehe," you shyly smiled.

"Then," she puckered her lips for a kiss.

"Ew, Nat nooo" you whined. "I'm greasy"

"I don't care"

"Bu—"

Before you could say anything she kissed you without warning. You squeak in shock. She withdraw the kiss with a lick on her lips and smirked teasingly at you.

"Yuck Nat, you're gross" you rolled your eyes.

"Ugh, I'm offended." she feigned hurt. "Come on, we'll clean up and go back to sleep."

"Who said I'm done watching my show?" you raised your eyebrow.

"Me," she raised her eyebrow back.

"Who said you have an opinion?" you squinted.

"Who said you can sneak snacks?" she retorted.

"Fuck you" you grumbled grabbing the empty bag of chips.

Nat chuckled in victory.

You guys cleaned up for a couple of minutes before settling in bed. Natasha deliberately cuddled your side.

"Who said you can cuddle?" you said. Natasha chuckled. "You just won't let me win, huh?" she giggled.

"Yes." you bluntly said.

"Alright Alright," she surrendered. "You win, now can we go to sleep?"

"Mhm," you hummed happily.

-----------------------------------------------------------

A/n: a bit short and sloppy but hehe I'm sorry :))

#black widow #natasha marvel #natasha romonova #natasha romanov #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha alianovna romanova #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader #black widow x reader

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allinestarr · 2 years ago

Text

Competitive Part 5

Sorry for the wait, hope you enjoy! - Alline

Alec Lightwood x Fem Reader

Slowly you blink yourself awake. Looking around you realize you’re in Magnus’s home. The next thing you notice is you can’t move cause you’re tied down to a chair. After a few minutes of trying to shimmy your way out of the ropes you gave up. You’re next thought was attempting to knock yourself down and break the chair but as soon as you tried Magnus and the rest of the team walked in.

“ I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Not only is that my favorite antique Dutch chair, the ropes are magically bound so you couldn’t get them off if you tried.” Magnus smirked.

“ Y/N please don’t be mad at us. This is for your own good. Ever since you got back from that warehouse you've been acting strange. It’s like… you’ve changed. We think you might be under its influence so we asked Magnus and he agreed to help. Since we can't talk to you we had to take matters into our own hand. The only way to find out is to go inside your mind. And... its going to hurt. Im sorry but its for the best.” Jace sighed.

The elixir kept most of your emotions at bay but the one you couldn’t control was the rage. You thrashed around like a bull in pure rage while Izzy and Clary looked away. Magnus came behind you and put his hands on the sides of your head. A blue light emitted from his hands while he said something in latin. It was excruciating and you screamed in agony. Blood started to drip from your nose and ears as you started to feel weak and light headed. Memories of your childhood flashed before you. Your Parabati ceremony. The moment you realized you were in love with Alec…Then you saw the warehouse. The demon mocking you while you fought with every ounce of strength you had till you killed him. And the pain, the unbearable pain. It felt like poison was coursing through your veins and your skin felt like lava. Then came the nightmares and sleepless nights. And then…nothing. Like everything after that was blocked. He took his hands away with a sigh. There was only one thing he knew did that. An elixir that numbs a persons emotions, takes away there dreams until they are noting but a walking, talking empty shell. Magnus undid the spell on the ropes and Jace and Alec carried you to the couch. Jace activated your healing rune while you were passed out.

“ Well I know what's wrong with her.” Magnus said.

“ What is it?” Izzy anxiously asked.

“ She's not under any spell or influence from the demon. She suffered a lot after defeating the demon. The pain she felt… I could still feel it. Pure agony. While she was able to heal physically, she was still suffering with nightmares so terrible she eventually stopped sleeping. After that its all dark, no memories. Theres only one thing that can do that. An elixir that numbs you to any emotion. You basically become an empty shell. It can be permanent if taken for a long time. Some people have even gone mad from it. I can prepare her an elixir to help with the withdraw once she stops, but its her choice.”

Izzy sat down in shock. Jace hugged Clary while she cried and Alec looked down in disbelief. Suddenly you were up holding your bow with an arrow loaded towards Magnus.

“ First, I will never forgive any of you for this. Especially you Izzy. My parabatai. We took an oath to eachother!You broke that when you let him do this to me. Second, you’re going to lower the wards and let me go cause you and I know I'm the quickest shot here and Ill have an arrow through your chest before you can wave your hand. Now do it.” you snarled.

Magnus looked at you in shock but knew you were telling the truth. He sighed as he lowered the wards. You walked backwards with hands still around your bow and when you felt the door you opened it quickly.

“ This is my final warning. All of you, stay away from me. If you ever try anything like this again, I will kill you. All of you.”

You quickly ran down the hall and jumped out the window landing on your feet and ran as fast as you could to the only person who could help you now. Sookie. She was already waiting outside for you when you arrived at her house.

“ Sookie thanks for meeting me. I need a favor, I promise its the last ill ask.”

She looked at you questionably while she sat next to you on her couch.

“ They know about the elixirs. They tricked me and kidnapped me and had Magnus look inside my head. They betrayed me and violated the only privacy I had in my mind. I want to leave but I know they will find me especially with my parabatai bond. I want you to cloak me. I need to focus on the only important thing at this moment which is to find and kill Valentine. Will you do it?” you pleaded.

“ I don't know y/n. You know I care a lot about you but it could get really dangerous by yourself. Without the help of the clave and your friends, you could get yourself killed.” she cried.

“ I can take care of myself and at the first sign of danger I will come back, I promise. You can do a tracking spell on me to know where I am so you know im ok and ill check in with you. But please, don't tell them where I am at any point.”

She looked at you defeated knowing there was no way of talking you out of it but respected your wishes as she prepared the spells. After she finished you thanked her and made your way outside. The institute was the last place you could go and as much as you cared about Raphael and Simon you couldn't trust they would tell Izzy where you were. Your safe house was not an option cause Izzy knew where it was. New York was no longer safe so you decided you’d give Spain a try. Luckily for you the cloak Sookie put over you not only enables them from finding you, it disguises you to look like someone else. So even if they notify the other institutes you’re missing, you couldn't be identified.

P.O.V everyone back at Magnus’s

“Well that didn't go as planed.”

Everyone looked at Magnus annoyed.

“ State the obvious why don’t you.” Jace rolled his eyes.

“ We need to find her. Valentines out there and everyone’s on guard. Without us she could be in trouble!.” Izzy screamed in frustration.

“Find her and do what!. She can’t be controlled. She’s a loose cannon!. We need to tell the clave. They will know what to do. “ Alec sighed.

“ Are you serious?!. She’s our family!. How could you say that?!. We have to help her even if it means locking her up and forcing her to take the elixir. If I have to spend the rest of my life earning back her forgiveness, so be it. At least we will have her back. Let’s use my parabatai bond to track her.”

Everyone reluctantly agreed but when Izzy tried tracking you, she felt nothing. If it weren’t for the rune still on her skin, she would have thought you were dead.

“ I can’t feel anything. It’s like she doesn’t exist!. Izzy cried.

“ Thats impossible. Hold my hand and I’ll help you find her” Jace said.

Again, nothing.

Magnus portaled them back to the institute. Izzy ran straight to your room but you weren’t there. They searched every inch of the institute and found no trace of you. Clary called Simon but he had no clue where you were. Meanwhile Izzy called Raphael but he said the same thing. Luke couldn’t track your scent anywhere but he promised to have the pack keep an eye out for you. The only other place Izzy could think of was your safe house but when she got there, it was untouched. The only thing they could do was hope you would eventually show up, alive or dead.

6 months later

Madrid had been pretty safe other then the occasional vampire that mistook you for a mundane when you’d take a stroll or meet with some informants at a local down world club. Nothing you couldn’t handle though. Currently you were reading over some intel you acquired about Valentine but it was just a lot of dead ends. The only definite was that he was in NY. In his campaign to destroy the down worlders, he has been recruiting strong humans to turn into shadow hunters. Things were getting serious and you knew you had to go back. You’d still lay low and away from the institute, but still close enough to fight. After a long phone call, Sookie offered to let you stay at her place. It was all settled now.

The flight back felt short and you wished it was longer. Sookie waited at her apartment so it wouldn’t raise any suspicion. As soon as you got there, you started to debrief all you discovered while away and she told you things have been very tense in New York since you left. Valentine had been causing havoc and the institute was barely catching up with him.

“Everyone’s really worried. Even Magnus. Valentine sent hunters to attack warlocks and killed 2. All to send a message. He wants the mortal cup and he knows Clary has it. He still has her mom and he’s growing impatient.”, She sighed.

“ Let’s hope she doesn’t say where. If he gets his hands on it, he could destroy the Down world. I think I’m going to talk to Raphael. He might know more. I’ll keep myself cloaked. I still don’t want Izzy and the team to know.”

As sunset approached you made your way to Brooklyn to see Raphael and decided to wait on the roof till someone eventually came out.

“And who are you?” He asked.

“An old friend.” You smirked.

“I think I would recognize you. I can smell your a shadow hunter but… I’ve never seen you before.”

“You’d think with all the times we’ve had conversations up here, you’d recognize me.”

He pondered for a minute and it clicked in his head. Slowly he grabbed your hand holding you in place as if you’d vanish if he let go and said,

“Y/n”

“ Yes.” You smiled.

“But how and why don’t you look yourself?.” He asked.

“It’s a spell my friend put on me. I had to leave to figure things out. I couldn’t focus on finding Valentine when Izzy was trying to fix me like as if I was broken. They betrayed my trust and I couldn’t stay here. I wish I could have said goodbye or called you but the stakes were to high. I went to Spain and layed low for a while. I tried tracking him down but every time I got close he’d disappear. I got intel he was in NY and came back.”

“You worried us all. We thought you were captured by Valentine or worse, dead. There’s so much to catch up on, follow me I’ll explain everything.”

While you settled down on the couch, he poured you a glass of whiskey and a glass of blood for himself. But before he could start talking, he heard commotion outside the door and opened it to reveal Izzy, Alec, Jace and Clary. Your heart dropped to your stomach and you quickly composed yourself remembering they can’t see you, at least not the real you.

“What do you guys want?. I’m busy.” Raphael sighed.

You exchanged glances with each one but Izzy held your gaze a little longer as if she saw some recognition in you before looking over to Raphael.

“ We think we have a lead on Y/N. A few hours ago I felt a strange feeling and I think it has something to do with her. We think she’s back. We have people looking everywhere and we want to know if you and your coven can help.”

He agreed and sent out some of his coven to look for you. Izzy and the team thanked him but before they left Izzy stoped and looked at you.

“I feel like I know you from somewhere. Have we met?” She asked.

You shook your head and said, “ No, perhaps I’m just another familiar face. I’m Rebecca.”

She smiled and walked up to you holding out her hand for you to shake. Reluctantly you shook it. A little spark ran through your fingers and you quickly let go of her hand. She looked at you puzzled but let it go. The spell Sookie placed still held up but you knew you had to leave because you could feel it wear off. Perhaps the proximity of you two counteracted the spell because of your bond. You looked back at Raphael and said,

“It was nice seeing you. I hope to talk to you soon.” You smiled.

He smiled back and you walked past everyone to leave. Alec’s eyes lingered on you for a couples seconds as you walked away. Once outside you began speed walking and after verifying you were alone, you activated you stamina rune to run as fast as you could back to Sookie’s. When you were just reaching her apartment you were tackled into an alleyway. Getting up quickly you were face to face with Izzy.

“I won’t ask again. Who are you!?.” She snarled.

Before you could say anything, your skin started to glow and you felt light headed. And before you fainted someone grabbed you and you saw a familiar set of eyes looking into you own. It was Alec.

“ Y/N?”, he whispered…

Taglist: @babygirl2022 @zealouspursecowboydeputy @melaniepeep @destielshipper88 @abbiesxox @mrs-billyrussooo

Competitive Masterlist

#Shadow Hunters #the shadowhuter chronicles #shadowhunters #Alec Lightwood #alec lightwood x reader #jace herondale #clary fray #magnus bane #fanfic #izzy lightwood #clary frey

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kendelias · 2 months ago

Note

love her already! can you tell me what's her relationship with the scobbie gang like?

its been ages since i've opened my ask box this was so long ago im so sorry LKDNFKLNFKN BUT yes indeed here's a lil bit ab margo and the scoobies!

buffy - margo... loves buffy. so much. that's her bud. when no one else wants to talk to her besides oz buffy's like "!!! but you're so cool and your fashion style is iconic and why do you hang out with these loser dudes who don't appreciate you." she meets her through oz and then brings her into the gang. buffy is always trying to get margo to come out of her shell and love herself the way she is so loved. meanwhile margo kind of recognizes buffy's fundamental... brokenness? it's kind of recognition of the self through the other. like oh we are both extremely fucked up in different ways but nonetheless we are both broken. so they kind of bridge that gap of like. one of them trying to normalize and one of them trying to recognize. you need both!!

willow - it's kind of hard to dislike willow... for a while anyway. no but like margo has always been pro girls supporting girls so even when the guy she's in love with starts dating willow she's like. alright well im gonna like this girl if oz likes her. so she and willow are friends!! at first! and then when willow cheats on him with xander... oh boy hell hath no fury like margo scorned. perma-ice queen from then on out. the girls are fighting and buffy is putting them in their get along shirt (spoiler: they do not)

xander - xander is... fine. she thinks xander is fine. at times she finds him very annoying but ya know sometimes he's funny. she has a lot of things going on with cordelia (we'll get into it <3) so when they're dating she kind of withdraws from him a little bit but like. they're never really beefing. until the whole cheating scandal he gets it just as bad as willow.

giles - loves him. that's dad dude. she hates her parents so she needs some authority in her life. thank god for giles.

angel - basically 'buffy why is this weird angsty dude hanging around you. how old is he. oh he's a vampire. hm. oh he took your virginity and it made him evil. yeah let's kill this guy.'

cordelia - okay.... look. childhood friends to enemies back to ???. that's it. that's the whole thing. like they were besties and then they fell out when margo was diagnosed and then cordelia started bullying her. so they really fucking hated each other and then buffy also forced them into their get along shirt and it KIND OF worked. like cordelia was gradually becoming a better person and eventually even kind of apologized so like. i would never call them friends but they work their way into normalcy.

oz - her soulmate, her best friend, her forlifer. she loves that mf. best friends first (the only person who would talk to her and who totally accepted her for who she is) to lovers later.... i adore them sm

#margo fox #buffy #btvs #ask #asks #what kind of woman doesnt have an ask #fragilestorm #thank you for asking!!!!!

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star-girl69 · 11 months ago

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Baby don't even apologise for late responses cause regardless of when you reply to me, the response will most definitely have me in space and floating on cloud 9 for the rest of the day.

- ❤️

(Honey I miss you all the time and I think your beauty is unmatched. I call you a gorgeous goddess for a reason❤️❤️❤️)

(You're good at chemistry🤭🤭🤭dammmmmn beauty and brains??? Cause how am I supposed to not fall in love????I can't wait to read what you're writing(remember we are patient and understanding don't push yourself) You sound so hardworking 🤭)

(I LIVE FOR YOUR YAPSSSS. I NEED MOREEEEEE. Tell me about today??? (no pressure though ❤️❤️❤️))

(You're amazing❤️)

i saw i got this ask and then jumped up and down right? like as one does and then my bff said “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” and i was like “GIRL YOU DONT WANNA KNOW” and then she grabbed by phone from me and i was like “girl you’re not gonna like it” and then she threw my phone down and started fake gagging like i toldddddd youuuuuuuu

anyways….

(honey 🤭🤭) ALL THE TIME?????? RAHHHHH i was so sad yesterday bc idk what time zone you’re in but i had to go an ENTIRE DAY without a reply and i was like having withdrawals…. not even funny

i love when you call me gorgeous goddess it makes me like not okay in the head yk? like. i think you can infer how it makes me feel…. 🤭

i’m INSANE at chemistry im taking ap chem next year in fact but i actually have a complaint

THIS SHIT took me forever and then my teacher wasn’t even here today so i could have had an entire day more to do it but WHATEVER. WHATEVER ITS FINE 🙄🙄🙄 it’s not hard or anything it just takes forever and also there’s so many numbers and i SUCK at math so there’s a possibility that i messed up my calculations but IDC!!!!!!! i’m too tired to check it

because of you is turning out so bleh. i don’t like it lmao 😭😭 but i mean idk i’ll still publish probably tmrw hopefully tmrw aka tuesday

i KNOW you all are patient and understanding but i am NOT so 😭😭😭

i fear you are wrong and i am not hardworking do we not remember me talking about how i procrastinate 24/7

THANK YOU IM GIGGLING FR I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL 🤭🤭🤭

today is fine so far but OH MY GOD my ap lang teacher handed us back our synthesis essays and then asked me if i could read mine outloud as what to show everyone NOT to do i was like GIRLLLL NO WAY 😭 but it’s ok i think mrs b still loves me ☹️ it was like bc my topic sentences did not align w my thesis and i was like ok i mean you’re right but wtv… i’m struggling so bad w writing rn idk what’s going on. i mean i still got an 8/10 while most people got 7 or 6 so i still ate.

also i love baby hippos

and i have sat prep class today after so that SUCKS let’s hope it’s not like last week when i had that BLINDING headache good lord. did not rival the great headache of 2022 but still

idk. anyways sorry i hope you know this makes me like AHHHHHH giggle kick my feet all the stuff i’m not good at expressing it but ☹️ you get the point hopefully…

giggling 🤭 YOURE amazing 💋💋

#addie answers stuff!!!#❤️ anon

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lostfracturess · 10 months ago

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okay i’ve loved s&c since i started reading it but my god…chapter 8 was seriously one of the best things i’ve read and has made me just insanely connected to this story. so pls excuse me if this ask is obnoxiously long i’ve got a lot to say 😭🤚🏼

first off lol i just need to get this off my chest but the SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER…IMMACULATE. I GOT TINGLES im so immune to smut since i’ve read sm of it but oh my godd when he said “fuck i cant hold back any longer. let me fuck you already or i’ll cum in my pants” I HAD BUTTERFLIES IN TWO DIFF PLACES FROM THAT🧍🏻‍♀️…also i like how realistic the sex feels,, like it genuinely reads like two adults in this sort of complicated relationship still desiring one another, mature & sexy yet classy at the same time? bravo seriously (also reader getting the lingerie hehehehrhrh)

the way you built the tension throughout the entire chapter regarding satoru’s super mysterious phone calls and his reluctance to share anything w reader. so wonderfully laced into all of the scenes, there was this sense of dread throughout that simmered even during the fluffy scenes and oof it was a wonderful but torturous feeling haha

speaking of fluff- when he keeps mentioning “love” and now marriage!! pls 😭 it came out of nowhere but i feel like his brazenness to say it so soon makes me believe that he really means it if that makes sense?? :”) one of my fave lines from the chapter was

“he was stating it as a fact, something that was a done deal…he’s simply been waiting for you to catch up.”

that has to be one of the most romantic things i’ve EVER read in my life. a chill legit ran through me haha like if that isn’t love!! 🥲 he knew since the beginning </3

thank you for clarifying the thought process behind reader’s doubts in herself. when she said something about how she wonders if she’s cut out for it…oof i felt that. imposter syndrome is SO damn real, especially in medicine, and my fave moment in the whole chapter is when satoru really steps up in that moment as a mentor and says “taking a break isn’t giving up” <3 i totally understand her push back though, it’s hard to shake insecurities built over years

and my god. satoru’s character. i know that he is so troubled and has made mistakes but my heart legitimately ached for him during that conversation with geto. this was the moment where i was like omg this story is something so special bc you tackle the sensitivity of topics such as drug abuse so fucking well.

i used to work at an emergency department and so often we would get patients rolling in w chief complaints of withdrawal, a LOT of the time young patients in their twenties, and it’s really heartbreaking to see because you can never ever fully understand the pain behind someone’s story or change the past, all you can do is try to help them and make them feel better in the present.

i feel so bad for satoru, seriously fuck sukuna for taking advantage of him like that omg give me two mins in a room w that mf and your story is gonna be missing one of its characters 😅

“walls up before anyone gets close, pushing people away because he’s convinced that deep down, he’s broken.”

siggghhh as someone with an avoidant attachment style i so relate to him. i really hope reader can show him the brighter things in life (i mean she’s definitely someone that makes him want to be a better man which is lovely), i look forward to seeing how he opens up more emotionally in the chapters to come.

im so sorry this is getting so fkn long but i simply cannot pass speaking up ab geto?? what an insanely emotionally intelligent character. the way he acts is so consistent, i looove how he’s recognized that maybe satoru’s relationship w reader, despite the forbidden aspects, is something more than just lust and is something deeper than that :”)

“there is no point, neither in life nor death. but you can either cry about the whole meaningless of the world or try to find meaning to it. to do something that gives meaning to life.”

talk about words that no longer feel like part of a story, but literally jump out of the page (err my phone screen? lol) and have you feel them in the reality of your own life. stunning, your writing is just amazing miss lostfractures

also curious if he got sued cuz he punched that student lol 🤔 or maybe it’s related to malpractice

ugh i’m so sorry this was so fucking long but it’s midnight for me rn and i just had so many thoughts while reading the chap i had to share 😭🤞🏼 thank you sm for this story, it goes without saying that i’m SO excited for more 💕💕💕

okay i have no idea where to start but first THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! i feel insanely grateful for you to take the time to write this message, really!!

i'm smiling and giggling like an idiot rn at work omg.

so so glad you like the SMUT, this is always the worst part to write, so i'm relieved it didn't read cringey and made you feel something (i laughed at your comment about the butterflies in TWO SPOTS omg).

can relate. ngl.

and yes the whole marriage part did came out of nowhere but i guess that's just so him, like he's so clumsy with feelings and don't know what to do with them so he's just really messy but also so adorable with it, idk!!! ahhhh

your reactions to the chapter make me SO SO happy, like really, that's all us writers want to achieve, right? to make the reader feel something. so glad i could stir something within you!! <333

& yes you never know what a person might have experienced in his past to it really comes down to being patient and understanding with people, but yeah satoru surely has an avoidant attachment, like SO SO BAD. and that can be so FRUSTRATING.

his past even gets worse in the next chapter, because apparently i can not NOT make him even more miserable.

haha the whole philosophical part at the end was mostly because i read a lot of camus and kafka lately lol. couldn't hold myself back, but i guess that mirrors satoru's existential crisis he goes through, that will be more highlighted in the next chapter.

but like at the same time, he needs someone to put him in his place and the reader is gladly accepting that and is like, I'M SO DONE WITH YOU, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER MAN.

thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for spending your precious time to read and write this message!! i really don't know how to phrase it how happy this makes me, just imagine myself smiling and crying like an idiot <33

#symptoms and causes #inbox

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volfoss · 1 year ago

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⚱️<- for volfoss character ask 👍

YIPPEE ok i KNOW the girl u will like so so much <3

tossing veycer there for scale and also because hes important to their fucked up sibling dynamic. but i think sheala would make u go insane analyzing.

sheala has a LOT of depth and theres a lot of politics involved (one day i think i will have to make a heres volfoss' politics in a silly slideshow or something bc there is so much.) so i will do my best to explain why i think you would like her :)

first off. she is very good at hiding her tragedy and well um. theres not a better example of this than on the ikuaipe route (shes part of the ikuaipe army, which is like one of the 3 major countries in volfoss). to simplify it as much as i can, there is a war going on bc asdenia (one of the other big 3 countries) refuses to export rare metals to ikuaipe, who use them to make drugs. there is no reason explained for WHY they stopped this but thats all u really need to know about the war bc its complicated and they get into a lot of stuff w the drugs (specifically on like. how withdrawal is handled and how restricting supply from people isn't immediately going to fix their issues etc, its handled very well) in detail in game but. sheala's older brother is veycer who is the head of the army (he fucking sucks. i hope he dies soooo bad but he is also written with depth and like. kind of even tho he DOES some over the top evil stuff [like well. the incident im about to get into lol], he still is given enough character that he's fleshed out properly. all of the "villains" are but thats besides the point.) plays a very big part in well. why sheala would make you go make so many character studies on her.

anyways dear god. politics explained and hatred for veycer being put in there in advance. sheala goes on a mission (where shes a commander, so has a decent amount of responsibility there, and more specifically is leading the rear of the troops, veycer is leading the front) and gets ambushed pretty bad. to the point that when shalvas (who you would also love. but it would take me like 3x as long to get into his diseases. i promise youd love him tho, hes the silly protagonist) arrives, theres just one soldier left of her unit bc the rest of them were killed, and that soldier dies shortly after. sheala is facing one of the four heroes (who basically are some of the strongest characters in the world, and are sworn to remain neutral (they are not by the point of the war, so one of them is fighting on the side of asdenia. its a lot of politics im so sorry) and a BIG amount of very tough enemies on her own when shalvas arrives. shes dealing with a ton of guilt about the entire team she was leading dying (which honestly like. she couldnt do much about bc of how strong the guy thats part of the 4 heroes is) and is completely determined to stay, even if it costs her her life. she's someone thats very loyal and very stubborn and this is not so great for her. thankfully, shalvas is able to persuade her by basically saying hey. if you died it would cause more trouble for veycer than if you lived. thats the ONLY way she would go back despite being in pretty bad shape and being completely willing to let her life go there.

on the way back, shalvas clearly is having the very awkward moment of ok. she is clearly upset and i do not know how to make it better (he is like. very very blatantly written as autism to me, so he communicates in a way thats very awkward a lot of the time, or just is silent. which is honestly very cool of him), so after Sheala apologizes for everything to him, he tells her that she can always fight the hero again (because yk. she didnt die lol) and then IMMEDIATELY denies it when she asks if hes comforting him. their dynamic is really nice because its just like two weird as fuck guys trying to be friends.

which um. well you see. veycer sucks so bad. and he is incredibly mad at how badly sheala fucked up with letting her troop get killed (guy that loves to get so mad soooo much of the time for no good reason other than its fun for him). and hes having a little moment of its fun to do drastic punishment and despite another army officer (who youll def see a lot if you play, his name is auveon. hes friends w sheala) begging him to not do it, he orders sheala's execution. (and when i tell you i felt like i was going to puke reading this for the first time, i do mean it. this is the 2nd route ive done, so id already seen a lot of her and liked her a lot, and ofc the more ive interacted w her in this (and the last route) ive cared a lot more about her. so it was like oh ok. we are suffering). veycer basically is just like well um. she fucked up BAD and she cant get any leniency for that. yeah even if she IS my sister, people would see me as a weak commander if i gave her a lesser punishment so um lol. all of the soldiers are pleading with him to not do it and auveon asks if sheala wants to plead her case and um. well she says "I will follow Your Excellency’s orders. I am prepared to give up this life at any time if I am told to die." like. what is your DEAL.

she is fine eventually tho, just got demoted and veycer had the fucking nerve to be like omg i loveee my family thank you shalvas for protecting her. which is then like ok. did she know he wasnt really going to do it. or is he just lying to shalvas for fun. its insane to me they have such a fucking weird dynamic bc sheala worries about veycer a lot and then veycer is like um. ok i kill you with rocks and hammers. but i promise i love you.

ANYWAYS. some of the other things i really like about sheala. she has a quick temper and will NOT hesitate to call someone out on BS (this gets her in trouble a lot but shes very capable. when i fought her in the first route it was the worst fight of the game bc she is THAT strong) but she is also very kind as a person. she and turi-marrya (shes a water maiden but is also genuinely so fucking cool and i could go insane over her. easily.) in both routes ive played, despite being on opposing sides are very kind to each other and very polite (both of them having a lot of respect for the other, given some events in the game.) i think just like the way that she is facing a lot of tragedy (mainly due to VEYCER.) and yet is still brave enough to keep going but also does have a lot of moments where the grief does hit her and she is clearly struggling to deal with it. i think youd love her.

#asks #♟#ask to tag #<- due to the um. well the everything but mainly the war talk #like. some of this might not have as MUCH weight bc u dont know a ton abt shalvas (my fault bc whenever i start thinking abt him i blow up #and thus cannot post insanely long metas abt him) but i hope it still is like. accurate. she reminds me a lot of law and robin #sorry this is like. also so long. the politics. and also i care sheala a lot. and shes very well written and ik my explanation is NOT doing #her justice. which is why u should play volfoss ^-^#sorry so much of this was i hate veycer soooo fucking bad i hope he dies but like. its kind of important bc the fucked up horrible sibling #dynamic is very fun. like sheala while kidnapped is like man i worry abt veycer :( and veycer is just like well ^-^ shes not going to tell #them anything so im not going to rush to find her. but i think its silly. sorry for how long this is

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dadddybangtan · 5 months ago

Text

Metanoia | ch. thirteen

cw: some violence

word count: 1.2k

a.n. namjin crumbs

Back Table of Contents Next

Moonbyul's ramdon turns out to be one of the best meals I've had since my parents kicked me out. My eating style may come off as slightly barbaric now, but I'm sure she understands. I'm hungry and it's good.

My enjoyment is short lived, something I've grown used to while living out here. Agust and Joon burst through the door.

"Get him out." Agust says.

"W-what?"

"You fucking rat, you knew Yangyang worked for that snake?"

"What? No."

Namjoon comes and restrains my arms and drags me off the chair of the island counter. His hold is painfully uncomfortable.

"Agust, stop," Moonbyul spoke up, "We talked. He didn't know. Yangyang lied to him and said he was only working for you."

Agust looks at me and his face relaxes almost instantly. The change stings more than Joon's hands around my arm.

"Let 'im go, Joon."

There's a hesitation before he throws me off of him. He certainly hates me.

"Jimin," He says very softly before reaching out to me, "I'm so sorry. This is- probably the worst date ever."

"I'm sorry, date?" Joon yelled.

Surprisingly, this isn't the worst date I've been on. One day I hustled enough money to take Taehyung and I to a decent restaurant. But he was high on percocet. It was like being on a date with a dead body. The withdrawal afterward was traumatizing.

"Let's just pretend this never happened," Agust says softly, "I'll take you home, okay?"

I panicked. I don't have a home here, I'm in a hotel that he can't know about.

"That's okay, I'll just–."

"I'll take him." Joon said assertively.

My face goes white. Somehow I'm more scared of Joon than I am of Agust.

"If that's alright with you, Jimin."

"Y-yeah."

"Ugh, you guys are so weird," Moonbyul cuts in, "I'm telling you, the problem is gay men."

"That's homophobic."

"Agust, I cannot be homophobic. I am a homo."

"Obviously," Agust roles his eyes, "Joon, I trust you'll make sure Jimin gets home safely."

We look at each other and he stares me down like I'm a bug under his shoe. I gulp at the larger man. Joon truly terrifies me.

"Of course." He says.

The air is tight in his car. Not because he keeps the windows rolled up or because the air itself is particularly stale. It's because Joon sucks the life out of any room he's in. He's so suffocatingly rigid that it's hard to breathe.

"So," He clears his throat, causing me to jump in place, "Remember the car you got into last night? I traced the license plate number."

My stomach churns and my muscles freeze. I'm screwed. Jin is screwed. I swallow a big lump in my throat before he continues.

"Who are you," He asks sternly, "And why are you here with Jin?"

"I- I can't answer that."

"Let me ask again: who the fuck are you and why are you here with Jin?"

"I'm not fucking him if that's what you're getting at."

He slams the breaks hard, sending me forward and banging my head on the dash.

"Fuck." I groan.

"Answer the question." He continues driving.

I rub my forehead in pain, feeling a bump forming. I can't find a lie to tell to keep our cover. He doesn't like me, but he loved Jin. He may still love him since they were forced to separate.

I'm sorry, Jin, for what I'm about to do.

"I think it'd be better for you to hear it from Jin."

"And why's that?"

"It's been three years since you've spoken, right?”

Joon holds his breath. Not a sound is heard from him. He slightly readjusts his hands on the wheel.

"We're staying at The Ara."

I know that telling him our location has significant danger in it. But I have a theory and a plan to match. Joon is smart enough to put the pieces together. He knew the car belonged to Jin. He found out Yangyang worked for JK. And they're both heavily involved with me. He knows I'm not as innocent as I say I am.

But there's a reason he didn't tell Agust and have me "relocated" like Yangyang. The reason is Jin. And if Jin explains the plan, we may be able to get Joon in on it as well.

I open the hotel room door and Jin is sitting on the edge of his bed. He perked up when he heard us come in.

"Jimin, wh-."

The look on his face is one I don't think I can forget. His gaze fell just above my head, eyebrows begging and mouth parted. I haven't seen him like this. He looks like he could cry. I wouldn't blame him if he did.

"Joon," He stands, "What're you doing here?"

I let Joon step ahead of me. He's slow and suddenly less confident than I remember. He dips his head and slouches as if he doesn't want to be seen. As if he's ashamed.

"I saw the license plate on your car." Joon says softly, "What're you doing here, Jin? I know you remember what Agust said."

"I know," Jin shakes his head in shame, "I can't tell you."

"That's what Jimin said. Jin, please just tell me what's going on. You know you can trust me."

As Joon inches closer, Jin freezes. Only Joon has the power to frazzle Jin. And only Jin has the power to soften Joon. They are each other's only weakness. Like kryptonite.

"Please, Jin. If you tell me, I can find a way to help you make it out alive."

"But if you know and let me do it, you won't make it out alive."

Joon looks back at me. A pitiful look, really.

"Are you guys here to kill Agust?" His voice gives out towards the end, like he can't believe what he just said aloud.

A heavy, shaky breath escapes Jin before he nods.

"Fuck, Jin," the stress in his voice is apparent, "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I didn't have a choice and you know that." Jin shook.

"So he has Jimin doing it and you helping him?"

Jin nods.

"I can't let you do this."

"But if I do," Jin reaches out his hand, snakes it underneath Joon's and latches on, "We finally can be together... Don't you want that?"

He follows my plan exactly without me having to tell him. All we need now is for Joon to take the bait.

"Jin, I want that more than anything. But you don't understand. If JK kills Agust and takes over Daegu, this city will fall."

"Let it fall," Jin says lowly, "Be with me."

"I really, really wanna say no. I wanna be a good friend. But after what he did..." Joon pauses and takes a step closer to Jin, lifts his free hand up to the other man's cheek, "After what he made me do... I'll help you."

His voice is chilling, not because it's necessarily scary. It's because he means that with every inch of his being.

Jin and Joon embrace each other in a way I haven't seen before. Joon holds him like he's a soldier coming back from the war. Jin latches on as if he's lucky to be alive. Despite their daily death threats, they truly survived the agony of being apart.

I want to be happy for them, but I can't. All I feel is jealousy and envy.

#dadddybangtan #kpop fanfiction #bts angst #jin x namjoon #namjin #metanoia #mafia au #hidden romance

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