#im sorry i've caused more problems trying to be something im not

[eltanin0]

i have spent a couple hours trying to draw today, nothing good has come of it. i wanted to accompany this with a picture but there's nothing even half decent. i'll try again tomorrow :I and sorry

[etheries1015]

I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭

I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!

Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!

featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!

general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \

TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.

Leona

The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.

"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"

Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.

Ruggie

"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"

"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.

Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.

"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3

Jack

He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.

He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.

With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.

You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3

Azul

He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.

But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;

"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.

He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.

He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.

Jade

The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.

"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.

He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.

But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.

He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!

Floyd

Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.

You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.

"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.

Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.

The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.

"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...

He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.

Ya'll are so silly for each other <3

[phopollo]

what are the backstories for the fuel trucks like in the cartooniverse? (im especially curious about hydras)

Oh i looooove talking about everyone backstories-- sorry this took so long to reapond to, I wanted to find a post for context, but I can't find it, so!

Context 1 (pardon old art and designs);

Context 2;

While most of the main cast were extremely young, there was something akin to a recession, as well as a HUUUUGE shift in power and whatnot, and not every station recovered from it

So!! With that-- backstories!

(Bit of a long one, sorry akdbsj)

Porter

Porter was factory built (the only one of our main freight gang who was) and sent to work at Station 24 (where our story is set) immediately, under the impression he would be the only fuel truck there. Upon arrival, he was surprised to find Lumber there, just not working on account of being too young and small, along with Rusty and Dinah. (Not like, super young though, Dinah was applying for clearance to race at the time & all 3 of them were cleared to start working within 2 years) All of whom IMMEDIATELY decided that this is their big brother now, he didnt have a choice in the matter. But, Momma saw the way he responded to and interacted with the kids, and thought he was really immature, so she made him wait a few months to start working. In that time, he ended up maturing quite a bit just trying to keep the others out of trouble, allowing him to finally begin working

Hydra

Hydra was built and raised by an electric engine who, like Hydra, is extremely concerned about the environment. But with hydrogen being such a new fuel source and being so unstable, he spent a lot of his childhood in and out of the repair shed-- more time in when he was younger. When he was about 15 or so, his dad & him went for a long term visit to station 24 on account of having better repair trucks with better information on hydrogen as a fuel source, where they then proceeded to find a new main repair truck for Hysda. Eventually, it just seemed more reasonable for Hydra to stay at Station 24 closer to hus doctor rather than having to travel back and forth. He was only cleared to start consistently working about 2 years before the start of the story. Even though he's in much more stable condition now, it still seems most reasonable to keep him near his doctor. Bonus Babydra & hydrogen father doodles I've made in the past;

Lumber

All things considered, Lumber had a relatively normal childhood. He was fortunate enough that he didn't really know there were problems with his station in the aftermath of the pretty much recession until shortly before he started hearing whispers that his starion was being shut down, which happened when he was roughly 12-13. When it happened, Lumber's family were all sent to different stations, landing Lumber at Station 24, where Momma took him in and where he's been since. (He keeps in contact with his family though, dw)

Slick

Slick was built into a family of livestock trucks who didn't work on the rails, but helped provide more agricultural goods to train society. Initially, Slick was not built to carry oil, she was built with the intention to be a milk tanker and work more directly with her family and continue in the business. But to make a long story short, there had been several incidents involving factories mass producing oil tankers made with extremely poor quality parts, causing a lot of breakdowns and scrappings, causing oil tankers to eaen a bad rep, and making more reputable factories not want the association. As a result, there was a bit of a (good quality) oil tanker shortage, leading to something almost akin to a draft going out to draft tankers who hadn't started working yet to become oil tankers-- and this included Slick, who at the time her family received it, technically wasn't even finished being built. Due to the shortage, Slick began working on the rails extremely early-- 2 years earlier than usual youngest rolling stock can start working early. When more and more stations started feeling the delayed affects of the recession and shutting down, the little business Slick's family ran did too, as many of the stations they received business from shut down. So similarly to Lumber, Slick ended up getting transferred to station 24 at 14-15, while the rest of her family got split up to find work at other stations. (She has no idea where they ended up and has no kept in contact.) Shes been here since. Bonus again, but this time the doodles of Slick's family, who are absolutely meant to feel reminiscent of the other freight + Rusty;

HOO

Sorry if that all got a little disjointed, the adhd was acting up BAD trying to write this all

[bgomtori]

☆ softcore - c.yj

synopsis - you were tired of yeonjun using you as someone he could just go to whenever he had a problem, but you can't seem to leave him.

-> yeonjun x reader

-> one-sided love, friends to lovers, angst(?), fluff

-> WARNING! slightly toxic friendship, yeonjun doesn't realise his feelings, kinda slowburn, yeonjun's a slight player and is kinda possessive, mentions of wooyoung from ateez + yuqi from gidle

-> NOTES! hi guys! i'm back? for a while hehe, im so sorry for not updating much, i've been losing motivation to write ever since last year :(

"she's ignoring me again yn, what should i do?" yeonjun groaned, burying his face into your shoulder as you tried to console him. you couldn't ignore the burning feeling you had in your heart, why were you still trying to reassure yeonjun even though he has made it obvious that he'd rather date other girls than you.

"shouldn't you just like drop her? she's been doing this for months and you're still trying to chase after her." you advised, pulling yeonjun away from your shoulder causing him to whine. your eyes met his, fuck you could feel your heart thumping against your chest. you hated yourself for constantly giving in, but you couldn't help it that he always show you affection through physical touch. yeonjun was confusing, you hated that he would always go to you whenever he wanted to, he barely even interacts with you in school, it felt as if you were just there in his life, nothing significant, just his little relationship therapist.

"i don't know, she's just so confusing.." yeonjun sighed, his head back onto your shoulder for comfort, you rubbed his back gently, staring blankly at the wall. "wait, why are you here again?" you asked, the words falling out of your mouth before you could even think. yeonjun looked at you shocked, "wait fuck no, i didn't mean it like that.. i, uhm." you meant exactly what you said, he was only at your apartment because he wanted girl advice, he's only cuddling you in bed because he needed relationship advice.

"i came to see you?" bullshit, if he wanted to see you he would have placed some time aside to hang with you in school, but he's always around entertaining other girl's needs. you were the other woman, nothing more, nothing less. "is there.. something wrong?" yeonjun asked, his hands laying on top of yours. you wanted to say that he was the root problem of what you were feeling, but at the same time it was your fault for falling for him.

"no, i'm fine, don't worry." you smiled at him, carressing his cheek. yeonjun leaned into your touch, nuzzling into your chest, hugging your waist tightly. you noticed that his breathing became more stable, soft snores escaping his mouth, he fell asleep. you stared at the wall behind him, why do you love torturing yourself like this.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"you're literally insane, look at him. last night he was literally sleeping in bed with you, then now he's hugging a new girl." yuqi, your best friend, glared in yeonjun's direction. you followed her eyes to where yeonjun was, you sighed into the palm of your hand. you felt so tired of his antics, it was a constant loop of giving yourself hope and breaking it almost immediately.

"you should give up honestly, it hurts me seeing you get played like that." yuqi suggested, sipping on the juice carton in her hand. you nibbled on your bread, you can't, if you gave up on him, you'd honestly break. he was like the sun, he brings light into your life, but he also drains your energy so much. you know that it was unhealthy, but he needed you as much as you needed him, you know that. however, yuqi was right, you're only hurting yourself more if you stayed by his side.

"i'll try to avoid him." you muttered out, you're going to regret it, but it's for the better.

"don't try, you have to." yuqi kicked your feet as you giggled, yea you will. you turned to your side, making eye contact with yeonjun, your eyes widened, quickly turning away, your face heating up almost instantly. this was going to be so tough.

after that conversation with yuqi, you distanced yourself from yeonjun, giving him excuses when he wants to hang out with you, you even started talking to wooyoung, one of the guys yuqi introduced you to. you told him about the thing you had with yeonjun, and he told you what anyone would have said. it was extremely toxic. you laughed it off awkwardly, pulling out your phone as you ate a fry you stole fron yuqi's tray.

yeonjun : today? can you hang? i miss you.

yn : can't today, i'm hanging out with my friends.

yeonjun : oh, ok.

you felt bad, but you had to follow through your plan, giving in to him will make you look weak.

on the other hand, yeonjun noticed that you've been avoiding him, he couldn't help but feel slightly jealous over the fact that you're getting closer to everyone else but him. he feels like you're disappearing from his grasp, he doesn't want that to happen, he doesn't want to lose you as well, he could lose anyone but you. he didn't even realise his feeling for you until recently when you started drifting from him.

"you actually like yn? like LOVE?" beomgyu gasped, yeonjun has never confessed any true feelings to him before, all of yeonjun's past relationships were half assed. yeonjun nodded his head, covering his face to save him the embarrassment beomgyu was about to give him.

"that's crazy, i saw this coming but you were too stupid fucking around other girls." beomgyu cupped his face, sipping on his americano, looking at yeonjun dead in the eye.

"shut up, i'll try talking to her later." yeonjun rolled his eyes at beomgyu, leaving the cafe without him. yeonjun tapped onto your chat, comtemplating on whether he should text you or not, it was getting late, knowing you, you were probably home already.

yeonjun : you home right now?

yn : yea why?

yeonjun : cool, see you at the park nearby in 10.

yn : what?

he left you on read, he didn't want to explain further, it was better if he told you in real life. he sat on one of the benches at the park, waiting for you.

"what do you want?" you voice suddenly sounded beside yeonjun, causing him to jump in surprise. yeonjun immediately placed his phone back into his pocket, patting the seat next to him. you sat next to him, you couldn't ignore the way your heart was racing either due to how close you were to him, or how nervous you were.

"why have you been avoiding me?" yeonjun asked, his eyes fixed on your face. "huh?" you stuttered, your hands getting clammy, you didn't expect this meeting to be a confrontation.

"did i do something wrong? i can fix myself, just tell me what i did wrong." you scoffed at his statement, was he really asking you this question right now?

"am i a fucking joke to you?"

"what?"

"is our friendship a joke to you? you only find me relevent in your life when some girl gives you an issue. one second you're all clingy to me, and the next you're all distant, talking to multiple girls like i'm a toy." you snapped, tears forming in your eyes, you were done with him, did he think that you were stupid?

"yn–" you pushed yourself off the bench, looking at yeonjun who looked like a kicked puppy, "if you don't have anything else to say, i'm leaving." you quickly walked away, wiping away the tears you finally let loose, you were sobbing. it hurts, you hated this, you hated yeonjun for making you feel like this, you felt humiliated for suddenly bursting like that.

unexpectedly, you felt someone tug on your wrist, pulling you into a warm embrace. your eyes widened, immediately pulling yourself away from yeonjun's grasp. "what are you doing?" you grumbled, pushing him away as you sniffled.

"i'm sorry." yeonjun apologised, his eyes on the ground, not batting you an eye.

"are you serious?" you pursed your lips, not buying into his apology.

"yes i am, i'm really sorry, i can't forgive myself for making you cry, i'll stop, i'll improve myself for you. just, don't leave me, i can't lose you too." yeonjun apologised sincerely, his eyes never leaving yours. you stood rooted to the ground before his arms engulfed you, giving you a bone-crushing hug. the tight hug you've always wanted from him, it felt so comforting, his scent was home to you, sobs escaped from your mouth, unable to respond to yeonjun's statement.

"can we restart? i'll treat you better, trust me." yeonjun rubbed the back of your hair, in hopes of getting a response from you.

"i hate you." you said in between sobs, peeling yourself away from yeonjun's grip, wiping the tears you had on your face. yeonjun laughed at your words, grabbing your hand as he pulled you towards your apartment.

"i'm staying over tonight, you don't mind right?" yeonjun asked, his thumb grazing over your knuckles every now and then. "no.." you mumbled, butterflies filling your stomach while following yeonjun closely. yeonjun smiled to himself before he started running, dragging you behind him. maybe staying by his side forever won't be a bad thing anymore.

[pacifymebby]

I cry when people yell at me(parent issues™️) and I was wondering how the peakys would react to that, like I can handle most things but yelling is like a big nono for me, would they be concerned or tease me for that, I don't think they will but I'm interested on how they'll react to it for the first time it happens, or if I yell back for the first time? You just do a great job at writing these characters💛

( im sorry if this is too personal or whatever)

AN: not too personal my lovely dw, here at Pacifymebby dot Tumblr dot com we (me) totally specialise in ✨ fanfiction as therapy ✨ haha. Sorry these have taken me ages to do. I'm also a crier when men shout at me so I hope I've written this how you wanted!!!!

Tommy

🌿 Is genuinely very shocked when, mid argument, you start crying. You've seen so much worse than this, you've witnessed some terrible things because of him and his brothers, the fights they get into every week. Only last week you'd watched with as calm a demeanour as one could manage, whilst Arthur had a violent breakdown and smashed a chair up at the dinner table. You'd not shown a shred of fear. But now, here you are, silent, heartbreaking tears streaming down your face and why?

🌿 because Tommy raised his voice at you.

🌿 you couldn't even remember what you'd been arguing about now. You'd seen red and blue fear in your mind the second he'd raised his voice. You'd watched him lose his temper with you, his jaw tense, his face going red as he yelled at you, his expression so angry, so cold and unforgiving. And it had shocked you. Tommy had never raised his voice at you before. You'd seen him shout at his brothers but he'd never shouted at you.

🌿 and the sight of you suddenly drained of colour, your skin taking on that strange bloodless translucency as you starred back at him wide eyed and fearful... it shocks him. You're looking at him like you don't recognise him and suddenly there's a lump in his throat.

🌿 He reaches out for you but you flinch away from him, backing away slowly and then suddenly fleeing, running away, vision blurred by your tears. You don't really know where to go and you can here him calling after you, but his voice raised shouting down the hallway for you only makes it worse. Only adds to your fear.

🌿 you're certain that you're in trouble so you don't stop even when he calls after you. Thing is he hasn't even said he's sorry. Hasn't realised why you're running from him.

🌿 "Y/N love for fuck sake what're you doin... we need to talk about this... Y/n stop!"

🌿 He's chased you out to the gardens, still shouting, still not getting the hint... it's only when he shouts again, louder this time, screaming your name across the lawn that you freeze. His voice seems to shake the whole world and it strikes the fear of god into you. So you stop. And he thinks thats the problem solved, that you've stopped running away from him now so he can return to you and you can talk like grownups.

🌿 but when he gets closer to you you back away some more, and even when he warns you to wait for him you edge away. Every step he takes you take one back until you find yourself backed up against a tree, looking at him with all this fear in your eyes.

🌿 He's careful as he approaches, one arm out to you, trying to coax you back to him... he can see that something has absolutely terrified you but it's only when he gets close enough to touch you, only when he brings his hand up to fix your hair that he realises what you're scared of.

🌿 "Don't hurt me!" You gasp, eyes squeezed shut, your body rigid with fear as you bring your hands up to protect your face. And it's that which makes him realise. That movement, that fragile tremble in your voice as you beg him not to harm you that breaks his heart.

🌿 and the realisation hits him like a freight train, chokes him. He can't believe you're frightened of him. He can't believe it's him who has caused you all this terror. You're trembling, your hands shaking the way a rabbit shakes when it knows it's being hunted.

🌿 He let's out a sigh, closes his eyes and tried to steady his own shaken nerves. He doesn't want to scare you anymore.

🌿 "Y/n, angel listen to me girl, I'm not going to hurt you..." he says, his voice a gentle caress as he takes your trembling hands in his, draws them away from your face and places them on his chest. He holds then both to his heart underneath his hand and with the other he cups your cheek. Makes you look up at him, catches your tears with his thumb and brushes them away.

🌿 "I scared you," he says looking at you ever so mournfully, he feels so guilty and you can see the hurt in his eyes. It just makes you feel worse and you shake your head trying to apologise. You can feel his heart beating beneath your hands, it's racing, his adrenaline too high and you feel guilty yourself because you made him angry.

🌿 "I'm.. I'm so sorry Tommy I made you angry I shouldn't have pissed you off its not..." but he cuts you off, finger pressed to your lips to hush you as he steps closer to you, his body so close to yours that you have to tilt your head back to look up at him. His head is bowed to look down at you.

🌿 "Shh now angel I'm talkin yeah, my turn to talk now eh so listen to me..." he's being ever so gentle, his hand holding your hip, the other tucking your hair behind your ear and stroking your cheek. He doesn't look harsh or sharp anymore, instead of anger his eyes are full of love. "Don't you apologise to me sweetheart, please don't do that... I'm sorry I shouted at you angel, shouldn't have done that but listen to me now eh cause this is important..."

🌿 You can't take your eyes off him, you're still shaking, still crying, your hearts still racing, but you're not frightened anymore. He's looking down at you with such an intense honesty, you can see the remorse in his eyes when he talks to you in that sweet gentle voice.

🌿 "I will never hurt you alright, I promise... even if I'm angry yeah, even if we're havin a blazing bloody row, I won't ever lay a finger on you like that sweetheart, I won't ever hurt you.."

🌿 You'd probably start crying all over again, burying your face in his chest, feeling his arms wrap around you and hold you tight. His hand stroking your back as he bows his head to place a kiss on yours. He'd cradle your head against his body and rest his chin in your hair. Close his eyes, hold onto you tight and treasure the feeling of you in his arms.

🌿 "You really fuckin scared me Tommy..." you'd sniffle struggling to calm yourself down.

🌿 "I know angel, I know and I'm really fuckin sorry alright..."

Alfie

🐻 He didn't mean to shout, Alfie's never raised his voice at you before because he doesn't believe in shouting at women and girls. He has a very firm, traditional view on that and he's stubborn about it too. No swearing, shouting and hitting women and girls.

🐻 The only reason he shouted is because he panicked, you were wandering around in a daydream so you hadn't noticed the tension in the bakery when you'd entered through the back door on your way to see your beloved. Tommy Shelby had just left, informing Alfie that he'd set up a trip wire to ensure his safety, that if he tugged on the string in his hand he would pull the pin from a grenade which would blow up half the bakery, starting a monstrous fire which would probably kill all inside. All those barrels of rum would go up in flames.

🐻 And you were one step from tripping that string which Tommy had tied to the leg of Alfies desk all, "I'll let you deal with this, have a think about what I've said whilst you work eh, careful though, its a delicate procedure..."

🐻 So when he'd seen you Alfie hadn't thought twice, shouting "Y/N stop! Stay there, fuckin don't move!" and luckily you'd frozen. Your body going rigid as the fear struck you like lightning.

🐻 He'd startled you for sure but more than that the sound of his voice ricochetting around the room, the voice of a man who was usually so tender and gentle with you, always so protective of you.. He'd never spoken to you like that and hearing it now struck ice cold fear into the very bones of you.

🐻 Alfie doesn't even notice at first, doesn't notice how you've gone white as a sheet, can't even move, he's too worried about that wire, too busy trying to work out what to do. Hoping there's a chance Tommy was bullshitting him. Hoping that actually there's nothing to fear.

🐻 And poor you, you're just stood there, hand clutched over your mouth starring at your love in shock. You don't know what to do because you don't want to embarrass yourself by bursting into tears over a little shouting, but you already know it's too late. Alfie really scared you, and he's never scared you before.

🐻 So you can't hold it back, you're trembling all over with the effort of fighting your tears, some have already escaped, you've swallowed down a sob already but it's the fact that Alfie's not even looking at you. The way he shouted at you so sharply, so harshly, and he isn't even looking at you now. You're struggling to reason with your own anxiety, convinced that you've done something wrong, that he hates you...

🐻 but then he hears it. The sound of your choked sob, one you'd tried and failed to hold back. And once the first escapes the damn breaks and you're in floods of tears. You don't move, frozen to the spot but your hands are over your face and your crying so mournfully that the sound sends an icy shard through Alfie's heart. Suddenly the hidden explosive is the least of his worries.

🐻 "Fuck," he grumbles to himself, telling himself off for snapping at you, "gentle Alfie what have I fuckin told you man, sometimes yeah you have to be fuckin gentle..." he's grumbling to himself as he reassesses his predicament. He knows he needs to get to you and get you to safety but he knows he can't get to you without risking your safety.

🐻 So he sighs. "Ziskeit, my dear, y/n poppet I'm sorry yeah, didn't mean to shout at you ziskeit, didn't mean to shout.. that was just me you know... panickin right, but I shouldn't have shouted at you yeah lovely girl I'm sorry..." he's making his way towards you very slowly and very carefully, talking soft and gentle, hands out because he doesn't want to startle you. His eyes flickering with concern between you and the wire you almost tripped.

🐻 "See my ziskeit, down there right by your feet yeah, there's a wire right and I need you to be very careful cause it's very dangerous yeah..." he doesn't want to scare you more than he already has but he also doesn't want you to move and accidentally set it off.

🐻 When he finally gets to you he doesn't hesitate to wrap his big arms around you and give you the warmest, tightest bear hug. He holds you firm against his chest, strokes your hair and cradles your head, burying your face in the crook of his neck. His beards tickley on your cheek and you're all wrapped up in the comfort of his musky scent.

🐻 "There, there my little ziskeit, s'alright now yeah, your Alfie's got you my darlin an he ain't lettin you go.."

🐻 He takes your hands from your face, won't let you hide and then he wipes your tears away with his thumbs. You can't just turn the waterworks off though and the tears keep coming.

🐻 Alfie feels so guilty.

🐻 But he'd hold your face in his hands and put his forehead against yours, looking down into your watery wounded eyes with such an intense devotion.

🐻 "Didn't mean to scare you poppet, please don't be scared now yeah, I'm here, I love you... I didn't mean to shout."

🐻 He'd probably call Ollie or one of his trusted men for help, he'd be instructing them on how to undo and disarm Tommy's trap, all the while still holding you and hushing you. The contrast between the way he barks orders at his men and then turns to you with the most tender, soft voice, shushing you and stroking your hair.

🐻 Promises he'll never shout at you again, but also, because he knows what he's like he also promises that if he does raise his voice at you, it won't be because he's angry and it won't be because he hates you. It'll be because he'd a stupid old man who forgets himself sometimes.

🐻 You'd sniffle, this shy smile on your lips as you tell him "you're not a stupid old man..." and he'd just chuckle, kiss your nose and brush your hair away from your tear stained cheeks, probably catching another tear on his thumb. "I am for making my ziskeit cry, but, you have my word now don't you girl, ain't ever gonna make you cry again..."

🐻 It's a big promise but Alfie is truly devoted to you and so protective of you that he really does hold it against himself forever. He's always viewed himself as your protector so the idea that you were scared of him is horrifying to him. He really does intend to keep his promise.

🐻 Will set a rule in the bakery and the warehouses that if you're around nobody is to raise their voice for any reason. He'll spin some bullshit about how it's very fucking rude and inconsiderate to shout when there are women and children present. If anyone breaks that rule Alfie will not hesitate to silence them in his own special way.

Arthur

🍂 It's probably not the first time this has happened let's be real here, this is probable not even the first time this has happend this week...

🍂 Arthur's emotions aren't exactly the easiest thing to endure... for either of you. He has a quick temper and he doesn't know how to express himself. If he's scared he turns to violence, if he's upset, he turns to violence, if he's angry, violence... even when he's happy or excited something usually gets broken, he usually forgets himself, talks too loudly... shouts...

🍂 And even though you're used to Arthur and his loud, uncontrollable and often unpredictable ways, you've never been able to get used to his yelling. You've always been easily startled and people yelling, raised voices has always set you on edge. And when someone shouts at you well, you always cry. You can't help yourself and you feel so stupid for it sometimes too... especially when it's Arthur who has made you cry because you know you should be used to it by now. You know what he's like... when he shouts and you start crying you always feel like a stupid child who can't control her own emotions.

🍂 But Arthur understands how that feels. It's not like he can control his either...

🍂 So of all the Blinders Arthur is the most sympathetic. It's not just that he feels terribly guilty for making you cry, it's that he hates how bad about yourself it makes you feel too and he wants you to learn not to be so hard on yourself.

🍂 So, he's always trying his best not to shout, for whatever reason... sometimes he comes home ecstatic about something that happened at the Garrison, he's half way through shouting through the house for you when he cuts himself off.

🍂 "Nah what have I fuckin told you Arthur Shelby, indoor voice for y/n, nice, gentle indoor voice..."

🍂 But of course this is Arthur and no matter how hard he tries he forgets himself and loses control on the regular. And when he does you also lose control... Arthur is an intimidating man at the best of times and when he shouts he is so fucking scary... especially when he's shouting because he's angry, and especially if he's shouting because he's arguing with you...

🍂 When that happens you probably don't just cry, you burst into tears, really dramatically... you'd shrink away from him, curl up on the floor crying your heart out, shaking, sobbing into your skirts and then when he realises what he's done it hits him in the gut and he does cold, panicks. He feels so guilty for scaring you again and rushes to try and hug.

🍂 Gets down there on the floor with you and bundles you up in his arms. His whole demeanor changes in an instant, all the fight knocked out of him in seconds as he rushed to comfort you.

🍂 Cradles you to his chest, rocking you to sooth you as he apologises over and over again. "For fuck sake darlin come here, fuckin 'ell I'm such a bloody idiot, I'm sorry my darlin I'm fuckin so sorry alright... didnt mean to scare you girl, y'know I love you don't I, ain't gonna hurt you, didn't mean to scare you just forgot meself that's all, you're alright my girl, I've got you eh, your Arthur loves you very much an he's very fuckin sorry for being such a fuckin dinlow eh..."

🍂 You'd be clutching at his shirt, sobbing into his chest, doing your best to calm yourself down, mentally chastising yourself for being so stupid because you know he didn't mean it, you know it was an accident, that you're safe with Arthur, that he won't ever hurt you... but even so, he scared you so much...

🍂 you'd push yourself up in his lap and try to wipe your tears away, probably trying to pull away from him and act as though everything was fine even though all you want to do is nestle deeper into his embrace and hold onto him until your heart stops racing.

🍂 And Arthur knows you well enough to recognise what you're doing so he isn't going to just let you go and pretend you're fine.

🍂 "Right now where dya think you're goin darlin..." he'd start, catching your hand and tugging you back into his lap, his arm locking around your waist, the other hand using his sleeve to dry your eyes. "Look at me yeah, got all the time in the world eh so I don't know what you're rushin off for darlin..."

🍂 "S'alright I'm alright now Arth was just being stupid wasn't I, you didn't scare me it's fine just bein..." but he'd cut you off shaking his head, giving you that frown which means 'dont give me all that rot y/n, I know you.'

🍂 "Nah," he'd say, "now don't start with all that shit now darlin, not wi me eh, I did scare you and you ain't stupid for bein scared neither... you ain't stupid at all..." "but..." when you try to argue he holds your face in both hands, your nose pressed up against his, his scruffy hair tickling your cheek as he gets right up close to you. His eyes are so intense when they lock with yours. "No buts now sweetheart, I fuckin scared you, I know I did and I'm fuckin sorry for it too... I'm the one who lost control so I'm the one who has to apologise right love, so I'm fuckin sorry yeah sweetheart, I hate scaring you an I never wanna do it again yeah... need to start using me fuckin brain eh love..."

🍂 But you hate seeing him put himself down so you're there holding his face in your hands too, looking up at him with such intensity, such stubbornness, it would be infuriating for him if he didn't currently feel so guilty. "You're not a fuckin idiot Arthur... don't call yourself stupid alright..."

🍂 For you and Arthur these scenes always end in the most loving of embraces, him holding you tight against him, you sitting in his lap on the floor, the two of you holding onto one another so carefully, so lovingly, your eyes locking as you tell eachother again how much you love one another. Your lips meeting in a desperate adoring kiss. One neither of you want to pull away from.

🍂 "Fuckin love you my darlin, don't even mean to upset you eh, I'll try harder yeah, Indoor voice from now I promise..." he says in as close to a whisper as Arthur Shelby can manage, kissing your face all over. Kissing away the last of your tears.

🍂 He always promises he won't shout at you again, you always promise you'll stop crying when he does. Both of you know that in a couple days time you'll be going over the whole routine again.

John

🌼 For all that John is a very laidback man, he has a temper on him and he has a very strict sense of morals, right and wrong (despite all of his moral activities) and when he feels strongly about something he will argue about it... and he has a temper on him.

🌼 When he loses his temper things can get messy, too emotional... He doesn't usually lose him temper with you though and so when he does it comes as even more of a shock.

🌼 He doesn't mean to start shouting at you, he already knows you don't deal well with it... Your voices have both been raising slowly as the arguments been escalating and when he finally starts really shouting you shout right back...

🌼 He didn't even realise he'd shouted until he heard your voice shouting back... suddenly cracking because you're trembling, because you've been fighting back your tears and they've just escaped.

🌼 He sees the tears streaming down your face and realises that you aren't even shouting because you're angry, your shout was one of fear. A "Stop it! Stop fucking shouting at me John fucking stop it!" Your hands over your ears as you shout at him from across the kitchen table, your eyes desperate with heartache and fear.

🌼 For a second you're looking at him with real upset and shock, like you don't recognise him at all, like he isn't your John anymore...

🌼 He feels terrible. He's gripped with guilt, a pain in his throat squeezing and aching, he's choked up by tears in his own eyes. Sometimes feelings are too big and John can't handle them.

🌼 Views himself as being the good family man, a loving, caring husband, a protective father, the man who looks after everyone, provides for them, so the idea that he could have done to his wife the one things she really can't handle, disgusts him. He's really disappointed in himself and he's determined to make it up to you.

🌼 He'd raise his hands up in surrender, his eyes full of guilt, his cheeks a little flushed as a tear escapes his eye, he's stepping away from the table, approaching you cautiously.

🌼 "Am sorry flower, I'm sorry..." his voice is wobbling but he's talking quietly now, as if lowering his voice like this is going to make up for the violence of his shouting at you moments before... and it does a little, or at least, his sudden effort to be gentle and careful calms you, lets you know you're not in danger.

🌼 He'll wrap his arms around you carefully, waiting for you to come to him, waiting for you to let him hold you. But when you feel the outline of his embrace you crumble, throwing your arms around him, sobbing into his neck as he closes his hold around you a little tighter, keeping you secure.

🌼 He'll hush you and rock you, doing his best to calm you down, all the while apologising for losing his temper.

🌼 "I'm so sorry little flower, I shouldn't have shouted at you, shouldn't have lost me temper that was fuckin stupid of me wasn't it..."

🌼 Lots of kissing your hair and your forehead. Will hold you as long as you need to calm down.

🌼 Will wipe your tears and tap your nose. Will hold your face in both his hands, thumbs brushing over your cheeks, forehead to forehead promising you very passionately that he'll never shout at you like that again. You can see it in his eyes how strongly he feels, he's got tears in his eyes and he's perhaps crying a little too. He's talking but his jaw is clenched and the words are forced through his teeth so they come out really shaky but certain.

🌼 You catching his tears on your thumbs and brushing them away. The two of you eventually smiling at that, making a little joke about how over emotional you both are.

🌼 If you try to apologise for having cried, or if you try to joke about your tears, how silly it was of you to cry just because he shouted at you he will shake his head, cut you off all "no, no... no way flower, you ain't silly for cryin, you ain't supposed to like bein shouted at and your husband definitely ain't supposed to be shoutin at you like that neither..."

🌼 He'll be extra sweet to you for many days to come, bringing you flowers, talking particularly gently to you too. Lots of affection, hugs, kisses, holding your hand whenever he can, layering it on thick so that you know he still loves you... he knows how sensitive you are and knows that you'll still be worrying about the argument days later, so he'll do as much as he can to show you he loves you.

🌼 Once during a particularly heated family meeting Tommy shouted down the table at you for something you said, John was livid, white as a sheet with rage as he put his arms around you and stood protectively behind you. He was glaring so sharply his stare could have sliced Tommy open. Later you heard them scrapping when everyone else had left.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is such a calm lad, he never shouts even when he's threatening other people. He's not the kind of man who raises his voice unless he really has to, he's usually the quietly threatening, controlled anger, spitting his threats through gritted teeth, not yelling...

🍀 It would take one hell of an argument, you'd both be feeling fragile and desperate, both of you shaking with he strength of the heartache and distress you're feeling.

🍀 Whatever you're fighting about it's been brewing for awhile so you both have so many thoughts, so many troubled feelings you need to get off your chest...

🍀 And when he does shout its because he feels a sudden panic, has a sudden fear that he will never be able to explain himself, never be able to make you understand... it's a truly desperate shout, almost a plea... "Would you just listen to me for a second love I'm trying to..."

🍀But he doesn't even finish the sentence, the second he realises he's yelled at you he feels a wee bit sick, his hands shaking and suddenly he can't speak at all. He's watching you, you're frozen, starring back at him with these terrifyingly sad wide eyes...

🍀 he can see he's just broken your heart.

🍀 For a moment theres silence, you're just starring back at him in shock, he's watching you, scared to move or say another word because if he does he's worried something between you will break. That you're both hanging on by a thread.

🍀 And when the thread snaps and you come back to life, your hand rising to cover your mouth and catch your sob, your eyes closing as your whole body shivers with the effort of fighting back tears, Bonnie watches you with this hollow weight in his stomach, this cold lump of guilt.

🍀 Swallows a lump in his throat, his voice quiet and shaky when he speaks again.

🍀 "Fuck, fuck I'm so sorry dove... don't cry, don't cry dove I'm sorry," he's speaking softly, hesitant to try and hug you because he saw the fear in your eyes and he's not sure you want him to come any closer now. "Please forgive me y/n I'm sorry, can I..." he trails off reaching for your hand, tugging you gently into his arms.

🍀Whatever you were fighting about it simultaneously ceases to matter to him and also becomes completely unsolvable...he's scared youre never going to look at him the same way again. He's supposed to be your man, your protector, the one person you can always trust and now he's let you down, he's scared you... he really resents himself for that, can't forgive himself for scaring you.

🍀"I'm sorry little dove," he'd whisper, his voice soothing, his breath brushing your cheek as he promises he won't shout like that again, "s'okay sweetpea, s'alright..." but he doesn't feel like its alright.

🍀 He'll hold you as snug as he can, but carefully too, treating you extra delicately, he's really hesitant to hug you too tightly or kiss you in case you're scared of him now.

🍀 "Don't be scared of my dove, you're breakin me heart," he says it with a teasing little smile, trying to get a giggle from you or something but you can hear the heartbreak in his voice and you know he's really telling the truth.

🍀 When you settle down a little you nuzzle into him, "Sorry Bon..." you sniffle trying to dry your eyes, caught out and speechless when he catches your hands in his and, strokes his thumbs over your palms. "What you sayin sorry for eh sweetpea? Am the one whose sayin sorry now..." he chuckles, holding your palm up to his lips and kissing your hands.

🍀 Even if you feel better quickly, soothed by Bonnie's sweetness, he won't feel better about it. The guilt will stick with him for a long time, one of those memories that comes back in the middle of the night and makes him cringe.

🍀 He's extra soft with you for the rest of the day and the morning after too, treating you like he's scared you're going to break. He speaks quietly and gently and he'll treat you with such tenderness, holding you at every opportunity, holding your hand even if you're just sitting together. Any excuse to kiss you or tell you he loves you.

🍀 Because he knows how upset you get when someone yells at you, if anyone else ever makes you cry by raising their voice at you Bonnie's fierce protective side will snap and he will be raring to defend you. You have had to talk him down from fights because of this.

Isaiah

🐀 He'll be so shocked when you start crying... he's seen you witness so much "worse" than shouting before... so he really wasn't expecting you to burst into tears when a drunk man at the bar raised his voice at you. He turns with a frown, brows tugged in in confusion as he blinks at you struggling to process the sight of you with tears streaking your face. He honestly didn't think anything could phase you...

🐀 For a second he's stunned but he soon snaps into action... "For fuck sake man now look what you've done!" He groans turning to the man behind your tears, "gone and made me girl cry ain't you... now I have to hurt ya..." he says with a cruel grin, as if he hadn't been intending on hurting the stupid cunt who'd been eyeing his girl up with lecherous eyes all evening anyway. "Don't get me wrong like... I wanted to anyway yeah, you've just given me a good excuse..."

🐀 Once he's satisfied he's fucked the stupid bastard up enough, he turns his attention back to you. He's not expecting to see you still crying, in fact he'd kind of been hoping he'd just imagined it, been hoping he was just going crazy like Arthur... but he isn't, and you are still crying.

🐀 And Isaiah isn't good with crying girls, doesn't know what to do about all those tears, feels totally at a loss.. especially because he's never seen you cry before.

🐀 will try to joke about it, not teasing you harshly, just making a little joke about how 'easily' scared it turns out you are... "You had me fooled mousy..."

🐀 This earns him a pretty firm slap from Ado who's jaw has just hit the floor... "Fuck sake dinlow whatre you doing making it bloody worse!" She'd be all arms crossed and shaking her head, muttering about how men these days are all the fucking stupid same.

🐀 but her slaps gotten through to Isaiah at least who is looking at you now with a somewhat more awkward smile, but he takes your hand and offers you a hug. This is the most stunted a conversation with Isaiah could possibly be and you're beginning to feel a whole different kind of anxious.

🐀 "Right for fuck sake, I've had enough of this.." Ada cuts in, "you.. give your girlfriend a fuckin hug alright," she'd say pointing at Isaiah and then pointing at you, "and you.. god sake girl get yourself a better fuckin boyfriend eh?"

🐀 "Alright Ada piss off yeah I've got her, she's alright now ain't you mousy..." Isaiah would groan, he's embarrassed by Ada pointing out his flaws but hes showing it as frustration instead. He will take her advice onboard however, he isn't that stupid.

🐀 He'll put his arm around your shoulder and squeeze you into his side steering you outside for a cigarette and some cool night air. He knows you'll be embarrassed about crying so he wants to take you somewhere quiet.

🐀 "Sorry for laughing at you doll you just took me by surprise... ain't like you is it... crying..." he'll say gently, he's sharing a cigarette with you, taking a drag or two and then placing it between your lips carefully. This is something he only does when he's trying to make you feel extra close and cosy with him.

🐀 He's quite curious about it, wants to understand why you cried, wants to know what it is about raised voices that you just can't deal with. And this curiosity isn't so that he can mock you, it's so that he can help you. He never wants to see you cry like that again so he wants to help you get over your fear...

🐀 He will offer you lots of reassurance, "you know I'm always here for you love, won't ever let anyone hurt you yeah... so even if someone does shout at you you ain't got nothin to be scared of yeah?"

🐀 He'll remind you that now you're with the Peaky Blinders you're always going to have someone near by to protect you. That men like "that cunt inside" will think twice about raising their voice at you...

🐀 Will hold your hand for the rest of the night, giving it reassuring squeezes at seemingly random moments. His affections will be subtle but constant all night and he'll make sure you feel safe.

🐀 If ever he shouts when you're nearby he'll remember himself quickly, apologising to you as soon as he can, making sure you're alright. If other Peaky lads chastise him for this he'll sock them round the back of the head no hesitations.

🐀 He's too easy going and because he doesn't want to shout at you, he avoids arguments like the plague, he'd rather just let most things slide until an issue absolutely has to be addressed because he's worried that if he gets swept into a row with you he won't be able to stop himself from losing his temper. He isn't sure yet whether this tactic is going to serve him well.

Michael

☘️ Its a heated argument, one which really give meaning to the phrase "blazing row." You and Michael are both furious with one another over a disagreement which has been stewing and bubbling away for weeks. One about Tommy Shelby and the unreasonable pressure he puts on his younger cousin.

☘️ When the row started it was because you wanted Michael to stand up to his cousin, you'd tried to encourage him to put his foot down, to start saying no every now and then when Tommy's demands crossed boundaries, but Michael didn't want to. he said you didn't understand the family, that you were sticking your nose into something which doesn't concern you.

☘️ And because you care so much about Michael you can't let go, won't back down. And because he cares about you and doesn't want you winding up in trouble Michael refuses to back down too. And thats how you end up screaming at one another in the middle of breakfast one morning.

☘️ He's so angry he doesn't notice that you aren't just shouting to match his fierce temper. He doesn't notice that you're trembling all over, that your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are wide and white - more like a deer in the headlights than a dragon.

☘️ The argument would peak with you unleashing all your fear and hurt, all your desperation into one shattering scream, "Leave me alone Michael for fuck sake leave me alone!" you shout over your shoulder when you go running off into the garden and he follows. HE doesn't listen however and it takes you picking a rock up and throwing it in his direction for him to get the message and let you go.

☘️ You run away for the rest of the day, go disappearing down the lane storming into the park up the street, finding a bench or a tree to sit beneath, hugging your knees to your chest and sobbing into your skirts.

☘️ Meanwhile at home Michael is pissed off, pacing, getting angry, damaging furniture as his temper gets the better of him. He's fuming, he can't get his head around why you ran away. Why you were so upset. . He thinks you behaved childishly and doesn't understand why you ran off like a little girl...

☘️ It takes you both a long time to calm down and when you do you really don't want to go back to the house, so you go to Polly's instead, you don't tell her about the row but you drink tea with her and wait for Michael to turn up. (Pol assures you he always comes to her when you've been fighting)

☘️ And when he does show up that evening he's been drinking whiskey and his mood is bitter and self pitying.

☘️ "Let me guess Michael my boy, you and y/n had a row... she got upset, she ran away, she..." "Came here," he smirks shaking his head with a small self deprecating smile, "hiya love..."

☘️ He won't apologise for shouting because you were shouting too, and because Michael never apologises for anything. But he will pour the two of you some tea and try to talk to you a little more softly than before.

☘️ "You worried me love, running away from me like that...gave me a scare..." "You were shouting at me," you shrug sullenly. He would be struggling not to let his temper flare again. "You were shouting at me too to be fair love... and anyway, you're not a little girl are you, you don't run away from someone just for shouting..."

☘️ You'd bristle, getting defensive, fresh tears glossing your eyes then, a painful lump in your throat when you realise he doesn't understand and maybe isn't going to.

☘️ "No," you say, voice catching in your throat, "but what kind of man likes screaming at his girl?" When you ask him that he won't be able to ignore the guilt he feels. He'll be struggling to swallow down the lump in his throat too and he'll reach for your hand across the table, brush his thumb over your knuckles as he looks you in the eyes, tries to find an unspoken equilibrium between the two of you. Something to two of you can hold onto despite your differences.

☘️ "Alright," he says finally, let's out a little sigh and squeezes your hand. "No more shouting eh how does that sound?"

☘️ When you nod your head, your smile forming slow but wide, he mirrors your warm expression and leans back in his chair, tugs your hand across the table so that you'll stand and come sit down in his lap.

☘️ "No more shouting it is then y/n," he says holding your waist in his hands, feeling closer to you at last, enjoying the comfort of your familiar shape beneath his hands. He'll point to his cheek then all, "come on love, give us a kiss eh? Forgive me?" and he'll wait until you do lean in to place a kiss on his cheek before he catches yours in his palm and steers your mouth towards his.

AN/ hope these were what you were hoping for lovely, I honestly am not sure I've done your request justice but I don't think I can write much more so sorry about that :/

Taglist:

@jomarch-wannabe @zablife @call-sign-shark @marwwfairy@toddlerbodybag@mollybegger-blog@inalovesrabbits-blog @elina-777@impossibleheartflower@liliac-dreamer@everysage@itsghostgirlyo

[michaela-o]

Hello guys ! Sorry for dissapearing yet again but i just felt like letting you know i switched fandoms for a little while🧡

I got into the TMNT fandom and im on my way to watch some bay movies and other ones aswell and it has been fun so far !🧡 keeping my mind off things-

I just got my heart a little heavy bc my crush (which is my friend i told u about) is probably going to college with another girl she mentioned like a year ago that she likes and it made me a little bit sad. Ofc i haven't told her anything cause like that's none of her problems :D buuut it kinda has to do with the fact that when she leaves i'll probably be completely lonely...again.. of course that's not her problem aswell and it's not that i don't have friends, i do, but they live in another city and i don't have the time to afford to see them so often since i'm currently job-hunting and trying to make some money.

Bruh who am i kidding.. I'm scared of being left alone again and i wish it wasn't so hard for me to meet with new people...what if she completely looses interest in me and decides she doesn't want to be my friend anymore becuase she'll find me boring and not worth spending her time with me...what if she will not want to see me again..what if she will just forget about me, that i even exist because there's gonna be someone better... i've always had problems with this. With not being sure if people like me enough so they wouldn't forget me..it's enough that i'm gonna be spending the start of new year alone and the thought of her leaving next year scares me even more...i'm sorry for all this rambling i probably sound like a bitch baby but i really don't have anyone i could tell this to. I gently tried to tell my parents why was my mood down but the only answer i get is "what did you expect." or "well this is the reality." I know this is the reality but i just wish for a little bit of comfort. I don't need anyone pitying me..i'm just scared ok..?

I was used to being lonely but when that one person suddenly slides into your life and brings something even myself didn't know needed being lonely sounds way scarier...

I just hope it will be okay. That i will be okay. But it has to be.🧡 Thank you for lissening if you made it this far.🧡 means more than you could imagine.🧡

[echantedtoon]

A Lovers' Circle (Poly Haishira x Reader) Ch10 A Scarred Heart P3

(Warnings for mentioning of harassment from last chapter, and Sanemi roughing Jake up. 

I dunno anything about health classes really do I'm just making something up for Y/n's interactions with Giyuu so bare with me on that part....Also yes. Giyuu's next to be romanced.

Also important to note that I'm mostly basing how everyone falls for Y/n based on the old post I made here.

Taglist: @shadyd3ar @jcrml @tengensangel

@miniverse-zen @mysteri0uz @jjamsbangtan

@the-unknown-fandom @lavenderdropp

@mimisweetz. @purplesoulsapphire

@kksmush @denkpanda18 @whomisi

@lessthanimperfect

Remember if you want to be added to the taglist lemme know

Your day was officially ruined.

You weren't covered in mud, food, makeup, and rain this time but the memories and actions of Jake made you angry and shell shocked. All you could do was go outside and angry cry. But you weren't alone this time. Kanae was gently rubbing your back and seemed to be frazzled herself. Not that you blamed her. Gyomei had been informed about what happened by her. The usual gentle giant went from shocked to a rare angry you've never seen before.

At the moment said boyfriend was inside apologizing to the owner for what happened and paying for the food. It was Sanemi who was standing by you both acting like a bodyguard and giving worried looks to you both. 

"We're going to be alright," she assured you as you wiped your face. "Just take some deep breaths and try to calm yourself."

Eventually Gyomei did come out, lightly ducking his head to avoid hitting his head and immediately made his way over to you three. "Im sorry for taking so long. The owner was very understanding of the situation. Apparently he was not the first person who caused a fight at the bar." 

You continued to finish up wiping at your eyes face still red from crying and anger. Blinking before turning to toss the napkin in a nearby trashcan. This day was a disaster. It started out great but ended up being just a mess. You scowled at nothing but blinked when two large hands suddenly cupped your cheeks and tilted you up to the concerned look of Gyomei.

"Are you alright?"

You blinked before nodding. "Y-Yes. I'm ok. *sniff*" Although you did sigh and lean into the comforting touch of his hands.

"I'm sorry. I should've been there. This is the second time I wasn't there when he was around."

"I-It wasn't your fault."

"No. I should've been there. I have no excuses."

"Listen to her, Mei." A hand plopping onto his side had Gyomei turning towards Sanemi. "You were talking to your MOM. Sides you think a bastard like that cares about anyone else but himself? It's no one's dam fault but his and if he has at least one working braincell-" SMACK! He quickly smacked a fist into his palm. A strained smile on his face. "-he'll stay away. If not I have no problem knocking some more sense into 'em."

"I-I appreciate that."

"Tch. No one touches my girls and gets away with it."

... Gyomei turned his head with a brow raised to him. "'My girls'?"

"OUR girls!," Sanemi quickly corrected looking at him. "Kanae shouldn't have gone through that neither did your girlfriend! I'm not wrong!"

Gyomei raised a brow higher with a hum as Sanemi sweated under him. 

"Hey. The day's almost over so why don't we just settle down." Kanae quickly redirected the topic away from them. "My house isn't too far from here. Would you two like to come over and watch a movie? We can get pizza or something."

"T-That's really nice of you to offer, but I think I just want to go home." You politely declined to Kanae who understood. 

"Then I'll walk you home. I'm so sorry our night had to turn out like this."

"N-No. Sanemi's right. It's no one's fault but Jake's. Let's just get back." You took a few steps towards the way back home before stopping and suddenly turning back to Sanemi. "Oh I almost forgot. Sanemi."

"Hm?" Said man froze as two hands grabbed him by the face and a second later a smooch was pressed into his cheek very quickly.

You instantly let go giving him a grateful smile. "Thanks for saving me. I really appreciate it. I owe you one I swear. See you tomorrow at campus. Bye, Kanae. It was nice seeing you again too."

"Bye, Y/n. See you tomorrow, Mei!" Kanae waved at them both as Gyomei wrapped an arm protectively around your shoulders and began walking you home. When they were both down the street, she turned to her frozen boyfriend and giggled at his expression. "Are you ok, Honey? You seem to be blushing."

"I'M NOT BLUSHING!!" 

The walk home was only silent with you leaning again your boyfriend who still placed a protective hold on your shoulders and every so often still uttered  apologies but you told him it was alright. For now you just found comfort in the presence of your large boyfriend. By the time you both DID get home it was getting a little late.

"Do you want to stay for dinner? You really didn't get to finish lunch and I don't mind cooking ?"

"I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything for me after today..but we could order something if that works for you?"

"Sure. I was going to cook something for someone tomorrow anyways! Come on in and I'll put in a movie."

A pair of legs quickly walked through the crowds and pushed past people in his way. A loud giggling came from the toddler resting on his shoulders and clinging to his big brother's head. There was an urgency as he walked in order to get to the daycare before his classes started and he'd be late. He pushed on further and further into the crowds of people not caring if they gave him dirty looks. He just kept a firm grip on his giggling brother who giggled out and made full speed ahead towards the building in front of him. Making it as he threw the door open and meeting a familiar sight.

"Hi, Sanemi!," you greeted him as he walked up to the counter. "Good morning!"

"Hey. How are ya? Gotta go!," he quickly spoke out lifting his giggling brother off his shoulders, over his head, and into your awaiting arms as you placed him on your hip. He then slung the extra bag off his shoulders. "Here's his clothes and stuff. I gotta go."

"Oh. Before you go I did get you something." He paused briefly blinking as you reached under the counter and pulled out a small box about as big as a small coffee cake. "It's some more ohagi!" You smiled brightly at him. "I made you some as thanks for yesterday. I hope you like it."

Said scarred man opened his mouth-.. Before his face turned a bright pink and he snatched it from your hands sputtering. "Yeahthanksgottagobye-" He quickly threw out at you before swiftly leaving as you waved.

Hm. He seemed in a hurry. Must've been late for his classes. Speaking of which you'd better also get ready for your health class. You still had to turn in the paper from your last project and then take notes for today. But first you'd better drop off Koto with Gyomei and grab your things.

*********************************************

"Class, turn to page one hundred and thirty two. Today we'll be reviewing the lesson from last week you based your projects on before-"

The sounds of many pages turning in the large room as at least fifty students turned to the appropriate places in their textbooks. Others took out note books lined with lots of notes from previous lessons with room for future ones. Pencils and erasers at the ready for the task ahead of taking down important information. Highlighters in bright yellow ready to highlight any very important details hidden in the professor's speeches. Lights dim as the first slides showed in time with the words the professor spoke.

"Now this here is the example of a former student I showed you of. Your task was to pick a famous medical discovery or sickly disaster from history and write a report on how that discovery or disaster affects modern health experts and research today-"

The current slide showed up a picture of an old painting taken at the city's local museum. It's old pain chipping away but still held together enough to show the picture of a man in his late fifties in an old hospital uniform. The professor looked up at the slide before adjusting his glasses and looking back at the younger crowd. 

"Who here can tell me who this man was?" Murmurs and coughs were circulated around until one hand raised up in the very back row. He pointed at it after a moment of straining his eyes to see around the dimly lit room. "Yes. You, Y/n!"

"The reigning monarchy during that time was lead by King Cedric Roland Jackson Snider the Forth and his wife Queen Stacia Emily Snider." Your hand slowly lowered after your answer and the professor nodded in approval.

"Excellent! Yes! Both King and Queen during that time funded their exhibition out to the area where our town would first be established. Who can tell me what the original purpose of the exhibition was?" Again unsure looks were given around until once more your hand raised in answer. "Miss Y/n?"

"John MacVicar!"

"Right you are! Yes! He was part of a research team of doctors, engineers, and designers who helped to create the first medical ultrasound. The student who did the project on this man included references to some of those people in their paper. Now can anyone tell me one way we use medical ultrasounds today?" You waited to see if someone else would raise their hand and someone else did. A boy in the very front row. "Yes, Charlie!"

You didn't bother interrupting and only listened to the professor continue his lesson and turn to the next slide which was a picture of some old relics from the same time as the founding of the town. You busied yourself by writing down words in the notebook you always took with you during these classes. The words forever being inscribed upon the surface of the paper with ink- Something poked your arm making you pause.

"Psst. Hey, Bud. I gotta tell you something."

Your  f/c eyes deadpanned looked at the dark eyes of the man sitting next to you as he again poked your upper arm.

"What, Murata?," you whisper hissed back to him voice low to avoid drawing attention. "I'm trying to take notes here. You should be taking notes too! You have no idea if this'll be on the finals!"

Murata didn't seemed phased by your words in the slightest and only whispered back. "We need to talk. It's important!"

"I'm taking notes. Wait til after class."

"WHAT?! BUT THAT'S STILL HOURS AWAY-"

"Mr. Murata." The professor gave a look of silent disapproval as the lesson paused. A good few heads also turned to stare at the seemingly frozen man next to you suddenly in the spotlight. "Is there something so important that you have to disrupt my lesson? If so please share it with the class."

In an instant Murata's face went an embarrassed red and he shook his head no. "N-NO! I was just-...Uh. A-Asking to borrow a pencil! Yeah!"

The professor narrowed his heads. "Well then next time ask quietly or better. Next time actually come prepared and not disrupt the class. Now then. " He turned back to the board. "As I was saying, notice how they didn't list their sources on where they got the information? Don't do this. Whether it's from a book, website, or interview with a professional. ALWAYS list reliable resources for where you got your information."

Murata gave a sigh of relief as the faces of their classmates turned away from them and focused back onto the lesson the professor was giving.

"I told you. Just wait until all our classes are finished and we'll talk after. Ok?" You looked back to the notebook after giving Murata a quick reassuring pat on the hand.

His huffed annoyed before he pulled his hands back and looked away. "Fine. But don't take too long."

You wondered briefly about what he wanted that was so important to interrupt class but brushed it off to refocus on the lesson before you. Your paper had been about smallpox and how the man who invented the vaccine was able to make a cure for the epidemic of it. You just hoped the professor liked it enough. The professor continued sighting mistakes to avoid in the future when writing a report before looking back to the class. 

"Now then. Your assignments will be graded and be given back to you this Friday. Until then you'll be doing another project with a partner. It'll be the last major project before winter break so be sure to work hard on it." The professor clicked a button and the projector. On the slide it had two different pictures. One of a brain and one of a silhouette of a man running. "Your project is going to be based on mental and physical health. You and your partner will chose one of the topics and base your project on how one thing can impact either, either in a negative or positive way. Again that topic is up to you to decide but you must take notes and have proof of your results. You may now chose your partner but just know whoever you pick will be your partner for the duration of the project."

The lights turned back on above everyone and the mumbling started up again as the professor switched off the projector. Blinking at the sudden change in lightage, you shook your head before turning to Murata and stopped as you realized he was gone. F/c eyes blinked before your head swiveled around but you still didn't see him. You even stood up for a better peek but still didn't see him through the crowds. Where did he go? He was right here just a second ago..He must've moved and you didn't notice too busy paying attention to the professor. Rats. You were gonna ask him to be your partner. 

Already some people were getting up and moving around at towards their desired partners and not one of them was your friend. Rats again. Outside of Murata you didn't really know anyone else in the class.

Or at least that's what you thought at first.

You had settled yourself into just picking a random person and asking them, however when you looked up towards the very back you caught sight of a familiar face. There up in the top row of seats sitting all by himself was a man. A man with long dark black hair tied in a ponytail, and a large baggy hoodie. Blue eyes didn't look up from the notebook he was still writing in. Just continuing to work away on whatever he was doing. All alone with empty seats all around him.

So maybe that's why when a lady smiled at him from rows below and gathered up her backpack,he didn't notice. Nor did he notice when she bounded up the stairs towards him until a shadow fell over him. Those dark blue eyes blinked confused before looking up and jumping lightly at the sight of your pretty face smiling at him.

"Hi, Giyuu! You remember me right?"

Wait. DID he know her? He furrowed his brows in thought looking at her up and down wracking his brain. Oh wait. This was the lady Gyomei was seeing now wasn't it? Yes. He saw her twice but he remembered who she was now.

So he nodded at her. "Yes. How are you?"

"I'm great thanks! I remembered that we took the same health class." She spoke so excitedly it reminded him a bit of Mitsuri- "Do you wanna be my partner?"

A record scratch sound went off.

...Giyuu blinked. Staring at her wide eyed before turning around to look around him really quick just to be sure there wasn't another Giyuu she was asking before slowly looking back to her and pointing at himself. "Me?"

"Of course! You're like the only person here who I remotely know."

His eyes widened more. "You w-w-want to be my partner?" You nodded. "Do the project with me?"

"Of course! I'd love to! Do you wanna be my partner?" He slowly nodded as if not entirely sure this was happening himself. "Great! Class is almost over. We can get some food at the cafeteria and discuss what you want to do for the project if you'd like." Still bewildered he nodded and was even more surprised when you flopped down next to him with a smile and leaned towards him. "So how have you been? I haven't seen you since the onsen incident. I'm really sorry btw."

"I-I.." He swallowed thickly. "I've been fine. And it's fine."

"I'm glad you're not angry with me. Gyomei was right about you."

"Huh?" He rose a brow at you once more confused. Gyomei mentioned him? When? What did he say?

You smiled largely at him. "You're very understanding and kind."

"EH?!"  You still smiled as his face went a confused pink. However you just opened your notebook.

"I think we should do a physical health project. With your studies in wanting to be a p.e. teacher it might make it easier for us to work with the subject with your smarts."

"You..think I'm smart?"

"Obviously. Do you want to do the physical health subject?"

He didn't answer at first still staring in awe at you before his face returned to his normal stoic expression and his face slowly slipped back to its normal color. "*ahem* ...Yes. Let's do that. We can discuss what we both want to do for the project later when we get dinner." 

You nodded in enthusiasm. "Great! There's a cafe on campus if you want to go there and talk. I'll just call Gyomei after class and let him know where I am."

"That's fine."

You smiled at him and continued to try and make small talk until the bell rang signalling the end of class. Giyuu stood up first politely waiting for you to gather your things before filing out the door with him and down the halls amongst the throngs of people. You pulled out your phone to call Gyomei but stopped as you say a familiar sight. Murata was coming down the hall towards you as you waved to him but your friend stopped seeing Giyuu giving you a gaze... before he frowned, turned, and disappeared into the crowd again. ..Huh. That was weird. What was that all about? Oh well. You shrugged it off before continuing to call Gyomei.

Your boyfriend was surprised to hear you were hanging out with Giyuu but was very understanding of your project and wished you both luck on coming up with a way to tackle said project. With that out of the way you happily turned back to Giyuu who again blink as you happily grabbed him by the hand and tugged him out of the building and towards the on campus cafe. 

He stared wide eyed in awe at where she grabbed a hold of hand then slowly back to her as she smiled and slowly took the man all the way back to the cafe. As the door chimes on the door above you, another familiar face lit up as she spotted you both.

"GIYUU!! Y/N!!," Mitsuri called before giving a full armed wave at you both from behind the cash register.

"Hi, Mitsuri! Can I get two of those really delicious milkshakes and a couple fruit sandwiches please?" You turned back to Giyuu who was still mesmerized with where you had grabbed his hand and was staring at you. "Do you like milkshakes and fruit sandwiches?" He slowly nodded at you. "Ok. Then we'll have some my treat!" You then turned back to Mitsuri who was still smiling and blinking. "Hey..Are you wearing a new eyeshadow?"

"YES! Obi got it for me! Isn't he the sweetest?", she gushed out.

"Absolutely! You look beautiful in green!"

"KYYAAA!!~" She gushed a bright pink as you complimented her. "Oh my gosh! You're so sweet! I could kiss you right now-"

"Oi! Quits making a racket out there and send us the orders!," another female voice called out from the back.

"Oh right! You guys go sit down and I'll bring it to you when it's done!"

You smiled wider at the blushing woman. "Thanks, Mitsuri. C'mon, Giyuu."

Giyuu continued to stare at you before you walked towards a nearby empty table. He watched you before looking at Mitsuri who only smiled back wider at one of her partners holding her own cheeks.

"I know! Perfect isn't she?!"

He opened his mouth-.. before deciding to just close it and quickly follow you to the table. You were already sat down and opening your notebook to today's lesson. He slowly sat down across from you and you spoke.

"So I know we chose physical health but what are we doing? The professor said that we have to chose an aspect that either affects a person negatively or positively and gather evidence on it. Any ideas?" You looked at him.

His eyes gazed over to the side.. before nodding. "I came up with something while writing."

"I'd love to hear it!"

Again he looked surprised by your words. "You.. actually want to hear what I have to say?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I usually do projects alone. I'm not really a person that most people choose to be around."

"Well that's just mean." He again blinked as you pointed at him. "I think they just don't bother to try and talk to you but that's their loss. They just won't know how much of a unique person you really are." His eyes widened as you gestured to him. "So what was the idea for the project?"

"..Huh?"

"The project idea, Giyuu."

"O-Oh." He cleared his throat. "They say that moving around continuesly for at least one hour a day can be very good for your health. I was planning on measuring my strength and muscle mass and then proceeding to record myself exercising for one hour a day. It's mid October now and the project isn't due until the last day of November so the day before I turn it in, I'd measure my muscle build again and see if there was any change in strength or stamina."

Your eyes were wide in awe. "Giyuu, that's ingenious!" You smiled brightly! "Also that's a great idea! Let's do it!"

"Really?! You really think it's good?" You nodded. "In that case,  would you be alright with doing the project with me? I think two people doing the project might make make it more credible if there's more than one person with the result."

"Good idea! I'm busy with work and classes though so we'll have to do our hour exercises at noon except on the weekends. I'll give you my number and address. Tomorrow we can start after work. Sounds good?"

Again he nodded looking off to the side and rubbing at his neck. "S-Sure. Sounds..pretty....P-Pretty good." He added quickly at the end with his still blunt tone. "I-I'll talk to Shinobu about it tonight."

"I'll be sure to let Gyomei know too. For now let's get some food in us before we become skeletons."

[noodle-is-unstable]

so sorry about the acc getting obliterated but im lowk glad cause u had me blocked but now im over 18 and i can follow u happily :)

I wasn't going to say anything but I'm going to. Stopping my Kinktober writing for this.

I have the urge to block you again (you can block anon people still), but I won't.

We're going to do something I do a lot and use this as a ✨ learning experience ✨

So the fact I had you blocked means you interact with my content enough for me to notice you and find something that said you were below 18 or give me suspicion you were. That means you blatently ignored all of my warnings and boundaries that state I don't want minors on or anywhere near my page.

I don't care if you were 17 years and 364 days old, I explicitly state no minors. Do not interact. Do not make your presence known to me. Don't be near my page or the people on it.

You actively saw these rules, and this boundary and still chose to ignore it. You not only ignored it by continuing to read my content but you went beyond that and interacted with it. That's what I have the most issue with. If someone tells you you are not welcome in a space (especially when it's for your own wellbeing, like trying to keep minors safe) and you purposely still put yourself in that space it's problematic. There is a clear lack of respect for me as a creator and my rules.

I'm uncomfortable around minors, and I've said it before, I'm still iffy around people under 20. You being on my page and being underage made me uncomfortable. Your blatent disrespect for my page and my wishes made me uncomfortable

I'm not going to block you. I'm going to let you sit with these words and understand the problem is more than you were just underage. I'm going to simply ask that you do better and respect the rules and boundaries creators put in place

[lohotine]

nice story but can you make dark cacao vs affogato x male affogato's priest reader but in original universe like reader meet affogato again outside kingdom during mission

also add against and injured ( not too much )

AN: So, I kinda forgot a lot of the crk kingdom lore, but I think I got this! Been procrastinating on this one, sorry. In Affogato's wiki, it says that after his banishment, he practiced magic and stuff, so I mentioned that in the story. Um, and I tried to find out where he went after the banishment, but I couldn't find anything so I'm just assuming he's just in a small camp or set. Idk man. If things aren't right in this, please just lmk and I can make some edits or maybe just another story. I SWEAR IM TRYING. Also I'm calling reader the prince since him and Dark Cacao are dating

Dark Cacao vs Affogato x Male! Affogato Priest's Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: Mild Injury, not proof read

-Unpleasant-

A radiant, pure, and glistening snow. It covered the ground, and trees... everything. A beautiful sight to behold, and luckily for you, you were experiencing the light snowfall firsthand!

You were recently sent out on a mission to survey a certain area in the woods. Nothing too difficult. In fact, it was very simple. Survey, collect data, and then return to the kingdom, and with the light snowfall, it should have been that hard.

Well, the snow used to be light. You don't know what caused such a sudden change, but it was now practically a blizzard. If you didn't retreat to somewhere more warm, you were going to freeze to death!

The only problem is... where would you go? Everything was all forest as far as the eyes could see.

"Feeling cold doll? Looks like you could use some help.." said a voice. You couldn't see who it was through all of the snow, but... you couldn't shake the feeling that you knew them.

"Oh, yeah! Is there anywhere we can go get out of the blizzard..?"

You could hear a subtle chuckle.

"Of course there is." A bright light would flash and you were now in a completely different area.

A nice, warm, and cozy cabin. A fireplace was lit in the corner, but.... you could also now see them.

"Affogato Cookie?" You'd shout in bewilderment as you took a step back.

"Yes. Did you miss me~?" He'd take a step closer to you and take hold of your chin, forcing you to look at him.

Immediately, you swatted away his hand and sent him a glare.

"Do not touch me," you would hiss.

"Ahaha, you've still got that vicious personality, I see! But... this is no way to treat the person who has just saved your life, is it?"

He stared at you with those cold and uncaring eyes, still weilding that sly smile he always had all those months ago.

"Fine then. Thank you for saving me," you would say half-heartedly. You were grateful, just a bit on edge since it was Affogato who had saved you.

"So doll, how have you been? Is the king doing well?" He would ask. You only nod your head.

"How... unpleasant."

Affogato would swirl around his staff, and a pain would shoot through your body.

You knew exactly what this was. It was the poison he would use on his enemies... but he's improved.

"Ah, I've missed you're charming little expressions! This is why you've always been my favorite little doll~" He would pinch your cheeks while giving you that taunting smile.

"It hurts, doesn't it? I can make it stop," said Affogato Cookie.

"Then stop it," you would say with a glare.

"Of course! Under one condition though. You have to bring me to meet Dark Cacao Cookie. This is something you can do... yes?"

Oh. He was planning something for sure, but... all you could think about was the venom running through your blood.

"Fine! Just cut it out already."

He'd flick his staff once more, and the pain would lessen. Of course, poison cannot be cured so easily.

"The burning sensation will only last for a little while. Anyway, I'm glad we could come to an agreement! Now then, shall we head there now?"

That scowl never left your face, but you would nod your head all the same. It's not like you could take Affogato in a fight anyway.

《☆》

As Affogato and you walked into the gates of the kingdom, some guards would immediately ready their weapons.

"Prince, what is that traitor doing with you?!" They would ask in a panic.

You took a look at Affogato, who had never looked so calm and collected before.

"Stand down. I'm bringing him to the king," You'd order. Afgogato would chuckle before giving a viscious side eye towards the guards.

They looked shocked, but ultimately followed your lead since going against you was like going against the king himself.

"Yes sir." They said with a bow.

You started walking towards the castle, getting scared looks from the normal citizens.

The dizziness from before has also yet to fade.

"This kingdom looks the same as last time.. though, you are looking as darling as ever," Affogato would say with a grin.

"I don't want to hear it from you."

Affogato only hums, not bothering to push much farther.

It did not take long before you had reached the king's chambers.

Dark Cacao noticed Affogago instantly.

"What is he doing here?" Dark Cacao would ask with a booming voice. His blade was already at the ready.

"Ah ah ah, I wouldn't be so hasty to attack. You're little lover here might get hurt,"

Affogato would snicker before waving his staff, and that dark bubble would come back to consume you.

"You-" Dark Cacao would grit his teeth while glaring daggers into Affogato.

"Hand over the kingdom, and I'll stop the curse on him."

Dark Cacao's eyes darkened, and in an instant, he'd dash over to Affogato and strike him.

The blade would barely graze Affogato's shoulder, but it still drew blood. In a panic, Affogato would fall to the ground and start backing away.

"Ah, this isn't how the plan was supposed to turn out-"

Dark Cacao pointed the Swords edge at his neck.

"Stop the spell and leave. Next time you come here, I won't hesitate to take your life," said Dark Cacao.

He laughed nervously before swiftly undoing the curse. He flicked the staff once more again and teleported to who knows where.

Dark Cacao rushed to your side quickly.

"Are you alright?" He'd ask, holding you up.

"Yeah..." you began to cough a bit before looking at him with weary eyes.

"Here, let's get you some rest..."

《☆》 Fin

[dreaming-of-barbi]

That's so fucked up that people are romantizing Franco, because even Red Barrels are showing him as a total creep and disgusting person. In Outlast Tag I have a feeling that some artists are making him completly different character, making him charming/safe/lovely. I even have seen some people who were drawing him with normal face (without big forehead) and you couldn't tell them that it's the right character design! I feel like Franco enjoyers are more agressive than fans of other Outlast character. Even with Coyle/Eddie simps they seem to understand that they are evil and they murder others, but with Franco I feel like they can take it when someone tell them that he's grown up, murder people in very brutal way and his voice lines are just disgusting... it really seems that people are getting agressive only because someone tell some shit about 🎀✨️Franco🎀✨️. I know his fans isn't the only one that have stick in their ass (cause I seen a lot of shit bout Coyle/Big Grunts/Easterman etc.) but yall need to understand that FRANCO IS A GROWN ASS MAN and you would run for your life if you'd meet someone in irl as 1% fucked up as he is. Saying that he's just a Baby and he made nothing wrong is just 🤮 and problem is in yall if you justificate him and things he made.

idk how to tell you this ,,,, but this game is fictional. The characters are fictional. You're free to feel however you want about them, just like I and anyone else is.

I partially agree with the part about changing his appearance to make him look more "normal" or whatever, but at the same time people are allowed to interpret their favs however they want to. They can draw / write for him however they want to. I don't like "fixing" his face, just because it (personally) feels like saying "he's too ugly", but again, that's just me. As an artist, I know that people are going to have different interpretations of a character I like. It's just part of other people existing in the world. Not everyone thinks like you do, and that's okay.

Do you know how many posts I saw (and STILL see) about Eddie Gluskin, doing essentially the same thing as what you said people do with Franco?? That man would cut you open to "make a baby in you" no hesitation and people still ""romanticize"" him (me fuckin included I LOVE YOU EDDIE). Its just part of liking fucked up characters, some people are going to want to make them more "normal".

Personally, I see the normalization as more like wanting to give him some normalcy in his life, because of his past / lore. I love the idea of letting Franco have a normal life, be a normal person. A life where he never had to deal with the stupid Mafia stuff, had a decent father and never ran into Murkoff, having a normal, happy life. But, I also seriously adore his original, fucked up character.

Honestly, who actually cares if people are "justifying" his actions??? None of them are real. He is not real. I have never understood the sentiment that you have to make sure people know you don't justify a fictional characters actions... they are not real. It's not a real person. None of the things he did happened.

Maybe it's just me, but I would not run from someone like him. That's not some edge lord "im so evil and dark" bs but because of my real life experiences. Been with and around people in my life / family who are quite like him and I didn't run.

I imagine some of us are using it as a sort of coping mechanism, because (at least for me) some of us dealt with people who treated us like he would. Though, that's getting into personal territory, and I won't try and speak for others.

All I can really say is either learn that not everybody's going to have the same ideas as you or block the tag. Sorry if that's too harsh a response, but life is too short to really give that much of a fuck about someone /something other people like.

And I've said this before but this is literally Outlast, all of the characters are this fucked up, it's not just him.

Like does no one remember Outlast 2??? Does no one remember the pile of dead burnt babies, or the hundreds of other fucked up things in that game?? I really feel like Franco does not compare.

So, can we please just be over with this now? I mean, drama is totally fun and I love it, but I can imagine others don't.

[yanderefarm]

How would Achilles feel if darling got visibly turned on while torturing him but once they were done they would NEVER have sex with him? Like they clean him up (or let him stew in whatever pain he’s in) and then go to the bathroom to masturbate. They never let him help.

Cause I know he’s kind of like okay with no sex and he really just wants to be tortured and have your attention but at the same time if HE’S the reason you’re turned on why won’t you let him help???

thats such a good question...

i feel like he'd just feel really insecure about it? like he'd probably think its because he's not desirable in that way.

i imagine him noticing you leave again and he decides to talk to you about it when you're done so he dresses and takes care of himself and goes to find you making dinner.

".... you can see other people." he says tepidly.

"huh?" you feel your heart drop.

"I've noticed you never have any dates or anything. I don't know if you're limiting yourself because of me so I am informing you that I'm releasing you from any responsibility you feel to me."

"... i repeat... huh?" none of that is helping your heart from sinking.

"You seem in need of companionship."

"i have you, don't i?" you say bitterly with a small smile.

"I'm not your companion."

you blink at him trying to ignore how that hurts before smiling again.

"i know. but y'know between you and my usual work i have a full time job."

"Then I will be less demanding of your time. We can move things down to twice a week."

"ok. if that's what you want." you try to hold your tongue around him like you always do but you can't help yourself. "what uh.. what brought this on?"

"I've noticed your behavior and disgust towards me. I apologize for not mentioning it sooner but I wished to be selfish a bit longer." he lowers his head like a kicked puppy.

why does he look like the one who was kicked? you swallow. "dude you gotta be clearer. if you're talking about in the moment like it's just part of the scene."

"After the scene, you always leave."

"yeah so you can clean up."

"No. I know... I know you leave to relieve yourself. I know you have no real interest in me because I'm disgusting to you. I think finding a partner that can help you relieve those things would be more beneficial for you."

you pause and stand there in silence for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh. "you would notice huh? I'm sorry. yeah i try to go jack off before you finish getting clean. its not... its not because you're gross or something. i just don't want to take advantage of you or push you too hard or gross you out. sorry. I'll try to stop. problem solved?"

achilles thinks of biting his tongue before he decides to take a step closer to you. "...You always help me relieve myself why would I find you disgusting?"

"because? i was supposed to kill you. its normal for you to- y'know. but im sure to you i must look like a pretty vile person."

he takes another step forward until he's hovering above you. "It would.. it would be my greatest honor to be killed by you. If you wished to take advantage of my body I would be the luckiest man in the world." one of his cold thin hands slipped into yours.

"if i get off on your pain."

"Ecstasy. I hope my pain is for your pleasure only. My blood, my broken bones, my screams. I.. I have always dedicated them to you."

you intertwine your fingers as you look up into his eyes. his steel blue eyes are looking at you like you're the only thing in the world and his cheeks are red.

"you're a big softie.... i don't want to break your heart or hurt you in a way that won't heal."

"If I was hurt in such a way it would only be because I failed to be your most devoted slave."

"chilles im serious. you... you don't want a rel-"

"I want you only. I want to make you happy. If I can't do that then my life is forfeit."

".... you're gonna regret saying stuff like that."

"If I do then you can also kill me then."

"i'm not gonna kill you suddenly dumbass.... just give me some time to think about it... i really don't want you to be hurt and regret everything"

achilles brought his lips to your hair. "I love you."

"... stupid."

[dr-spectre]

also it's a random thing but I've realized people have been using brainwashed wrong too

Brainwashing has nothing to do with actually mind controlling people and has everything to do with propaganda. And being told it constantly

For context -

<- the actual definition of doing something

if we use this definition instead of how literally everyone uses it (ie. It's just a replacement for mind controlled)

Then honestly callie being "brainwashed" makes more logically sense if you treat the hypnoshades as consistently feeding her propaganda. It's not literally taking over her mind she's literally probably being played octavios music tbh

Because it's canonically a thing that octavio uses music for propaganda

TLDR: even by LITERAL INSISTENCE INKIPEDIA DEFINITIONS that she id "brainwashed and mind controlled", she can not be mind controlled. Realistically if Callie was brainwashed that means she was just fed propaganda about Octarian.

So people can't argue that she was forced into that outfit she wears in splatoon 2 still because she probably chose to wear it maybe as a strange solidarity idea. It's not about being forced to wear something... Like that. It's wearing a uniform.

Uh that tldr is too long:

Etldr: callie can't be mind controlled no matter how much people insist, brainwashing literally is about propaganda and not "oh no my memories are lost I can't feel ::((("

You literally cannot force her to not have autonomy no matter if it's "brainwashing vs hypnosis"

It's NOT MIND CONTROLLL 😭😭😭😭

o god this is super long

I actually got a comment that was VERY similar to this!!! Someone (I forgot who) said, "I'm gonna think of cult brainwashing instead of sci-fi brainwashing for callie for my own sanity."

From my knowledge, the term brainwashing has always been this general term to describe mind control plots and shit like that and people use it poorly and wrongly. And THAT'S where my anger comes from. Because people wanna make Callie's arc in Splatoon 2 way worse, more disgusting and less interesting. It's so SOOOOO annoying and disregards any sort of arc that Callie could go through....

The word is either used in cults, or military experiments, or family drama of "you're brainwashing my child!" Or sci fi lazy bullshit where it's just "mind control and you lose all of your autonomy and memories" aka Winter Soldier, Widowmaker, etc. It's such a general term that has a trillion different meanings and it's fucking frustrating as hell.

If I try to look at Callie’s story through the lens of "standard" brainwashing where it's just psychological manipulation and propaganda from the Octarians and Octavio, considering that he is known to use music and other things as motivation to boost Octarians.... then... I actually wouldn't have a problem with people using that word... maybe...

Because Callie STILL had some amount of agency and autonomy, even with the shades on, she couldn't have been forced to do anything against her will cause of how hypnosis works. She still heard out the Octarians and listened to their propaganda. Was Octavio still in the wrong? Yeah! DUHHHH!!! NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK!!! HE MANIPULATED A MENTALLY ILL SQUID WOMAN!!! YOU THINK IM RESOLVING THAT MAN OF BLAME?!?! FUCK NO!!! But in that scenario it's WAYYYY LESS EVIL than what the fuck people and Nintendo tried to suggest that they did. I dont wanna believe that Octavio immediately grabbed and then "brainwashed" Callie with the shades after she said "okay fine I'll hear you out." And then "kidnapped" her and her memories were wiped... Ugh. (Fucking Nintendo bro god I hate them...)

It would also help explain WHY she doesn't feel any sort of trauma or suffering from those events and why she finds the Octarians cute and why she went with Octavio to the Low Water party. She probably felt sorry for the Octarians and wanted to help them willingly because her life beforehand was shitty and she was alone... Octavio probably didn't need to do much to convince her, too, which is kinda sad... She probably doesn't feel regret or pain because, well, she was going through a rough period and she wanted an escape, so the Octarians, in her mind, were the only way out...

However.... I can't see that word the same anymore, and every time that I see it, I ALWAYS think of the bullshit sci-fi definition and people just LOVEEEE TO USE IT AS A CATCH ALL TERM!!!! IT'S REALLY REALLYYYYYY ANNOYING!!!!

That word has actually caused me physical reactions when I hear it, like I was in a family dinner and one of my parents used that word and like... I fucking tensed up and felt stinging across my entire body, my heart was pounding and stuff. NO THAT ISNT A JOKE! THATS HOW FIXATED I AM ON THE STUPID SQUID LADY!!!!

Idk if I will be able to comfortably use the word "brainwashing" to describe Hypno Callie because that word has been fully engrained to me as the sci fi. one, rather than the general cult one with more autonomy and more room to dive into depth and character change.

I guess you could say that Nintendo have... BRAINWASHED me into believing that the word is only used as a way to say mind control and "oh no I lost all of my memories!!!" Heh... Heh... eh.... I wanna die.

I fucking hate Nintendo bro. I hate them. So much.

Oh Nintendo, when I find you I swear to go-

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for blocking a friend on instinct? So i (f16) have this friend, (m16) we can call him D, who i've been friends with since kindergarten.

About a year ago, i started growing very close to D through our friend group's dnd campaign we held every friday. I knew him for a long time but that was the first time we had started hanging out out of school. We were talking on snapchat every night just chatting and after a while he started to send much more... revealing snaps. Just his bare shoulders but like without a shirt. He said it was because he had to let his medication for his back dry. I was a little uncomfortable, but we were friends so i didnt think that it would escalate into anything weird.

After about a month, D starts sending snaps in a towel and pictures of his chest which made me very uncomfortable. I kind of let the chatting die down after that because it was the only way i could think of that would be enough to gently let him down easy (i was wrong). I stopped going to the hangouts with that group and kind of distanced myself because how uncomfortable D made me. This only made D try harder to get my attention.

I was still friends with the others in the group so i would often have one-on-one hangouts with the others and watch tv. One thing we watched was Miraculous and we laughed and joked about it all the time. D overheard us or something and went home and binge watched the entire series in a week. Then everytime i ate lunch with that friend group, D would always make direct references to Miraculous or sing the theme song really loud. This wasnt once a day, D would make miraculous references every single minute. He became obsessed with the show (which, for reference of how weird it was, D is a very religious Christian boy. He gets upset if he gets an A- and never drinks caffeine (no problem with any of those things but just understand that kind of guy being deep within the fandom of Miraculous out of all shows 😭)). It was so bad, and it once again was making me very uncomfortable.

Eventually, it got to an insufferable point where D changed his route to go home and made sure to pass me every day after school and wave. I started avoiding him in the halls, he would always ask obscure questions that werent that important. I couldn't understand why he couldn't get that i didnt want to be friends with him anymore so i set boundaries.

A text i sent to D: i apologize if i ever caused any misunderstanding, but i would like to make it clear that im not romantically interested in you. i can see that you have been trying to grow closer, but i dont feel the same way. i don't appreciate being followed around, and i dont like when people force themselves to like the same things i like. its not attractive to be a copy of someone. i enjoy being your friend but it's difficult to disregard these things. if im being totally honest, when you do things like this, it makes me really uncomfortable and borderline creeped out. i know crushes wont disappear overnight but i would appreciate more space. if youre looking for a girlfriend, this isnt the right person, nor the right way to get it. and i wont tell anyone about this so dont worry about word spreading or anything. thank you

D's response: Oh, I'm so sorry I made you think that! I don't have a crush on you, I just noticed how you don't hang out with our friend group as often and I just wanted to make sure that I was being as nice as possible to make sure you weren't mad at us or anything. I did start to think that maybe me trying all that made me seem clingy or annoying, so I'm really sorry for all of that. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I'll try to do better now!

This didnt sit right with me because after all of that i cannot fathom how that translates to "i wanted to include you". This made me question a lot about the situation.

Reasons i feel like i MBTA: i'm over thinking things and D could be a genuinely a nice person. Its hard for me to read the room and i need to work on that and probably apologize to D.

Reasons i feel like i MNBTA: i should trust my instincts rather than ignore them. I've had a psychological abuser in my family before and the situation could be a stalker behavior that i've learned is not ok to have.

What are these acronyms?

[thenixkat]

Hi sorry for asking im just genuinely curious, what are all the changes you'd make to the sun/ moon anime? Stuff like lusamine, guzma, etc. I love seeing you pop up in the guzma tag to rant abt how they butchered my guy, and im curious of all the stuff you'd personally change abt the anime bc it. It has problems. Sorry again for asking i just love disecting my fav media and discussing its flaws and how to better them!!!!

The biggest change would be letting Lusamine be a villain which in turn would let just about every character that got shafted actually get to have their stories.

Not shying away from her abuse which caused both Gladion and Lillie to runaway from home taking pokemon that were tortured by Lusamine with them. (Hell, you could even hint at some of the issues in Alolan society with overlooking/not talking about or helping with abuse)

Getting rid of the pokemon school angle since, the trial captains literally have only approximately an 8 year that they can be trial captains if the age cut-off is twenty and folks are expected to start their island challenge at 11. Those kids don't have the time to be dicking around at school, especially not the older ones like Kiawe and Mallow. Like, being a trial captain is a huge fucking honor in their society and they'd likely prioritize it over other stuff. Also, I don't care for nerfing characters for no good reason.

Storywise, I think using a combination of the story from the Sun/Moon game with some of the stuff from the Manga version of the story that managed to use stuff from Ultra without downplaying Lusamine's shit could make for the best adaption of the story with a few tweaks. -> Instead of the pokemon school plot, why not have Ash try his hand at being a research assistant? It'd be something new to do with him, give him a reason to be around and work with the professors, give him extra reason to explore Alola, and interact with Aether Foundation, and come in conflict with Team Skull. -> I can also see him trying his hand at the Island Challenge b/c of course, he's the protag. Hell, he can even make friends with the trial captains along the way.

-> Let Lillie be the deuteraganist proper! Let her be an actual trainer to Nebby! I hate some much that the games want us to have her pokemon just cause its the fucking box legendary, that's her pokemon and by all rights it would make more sense for her to catch it b/c that would be safer for Nebby in the long run. -> Not putting Hau on a damn bus for 97 episodes! He's the game *rival*, he's a major fucking character. Let this boy be present from jump and be both Lillie and Ash's rival. Explore his feelings about being stuck in Hala's shadow, the MC's shadow, and his sympathies with Team Skull.

-> ( A complaint I have with the games is I don't think Team Skull should be as rude or distant to Gladion as they are. Like, why would they make fun of him for being homeless if they're squatting in a rundown building? If Team Skull are supposed to be a group of homies and found family against the world, why wouldn't they adopt Gladion's prickly ass and tease him for being an edgelord? Also, just while Guzma acknowledges and respects Gladion for also escaping from and abusive household and wanting to get as strong as he can, I want more to be done with that than just paying lip service. Let them bond. ) -> Ah, yes, where was I? Gladion as a member of Team Skull. Not just hired help/an enforcer like in the games but an actual member. Let him bond with them damnit. And also keep him in a rival role to Ash while being a bad guy. Hell, its been a long time since I've watched the older pokemon seasons but it'd be fun to have a bad guy who keeps a long-running win streak over Ash. Let him keep his anime win streak and be a 'bad' guy.

-> Let Guzma have his role as the decoy big bad! Don't nerf him, don't slander him. Have folks mention him and have him show up at several points and have those eps be fucking heavy for one reason or another. He is a problem of a trainer and knows strategy and covers his team's weaknesses. -> While I hate everything the anime did slandering my guy making him the 'Undefeated' b/c he's a chicken that only targets weaklings, I wanna see Guzma being called the 'Undefeated' for serious, like folks thinking he's a chicken b/c of his ace and not taking every challenge sent his way but no he's actually good like that. I wanna see him beat Ash multiple times, yes Ash needs to beat him at some point to kickstart Guzma's character development but I wanna see him struggle to get that victory. -> You have no idea how much I want to see Guzma interrupt anyone who tries to use a Z move in a battle with him out of pure spite instead of just standing around doing fuck all while folks chant and do the poses. It would make so much more sense if he had his golisopod just sucker punch a pokemon in the middle of the z move stuff. It would be a good way to show that he's ruthless and very intent on bucking tradition. -> After I realized that like Guzma got possessed by a nihiligo in the of games and the manga and we were denied a perfectly good opportunity for a monster!Guzma rampage and opportunity to show how much Team Skull cares about each other that a 'I know yer in there come back to us Boss' and a 'help us save our Boss' could have added, I feel a bit miffed. Like I even commissioned fic to have just that and its good and everyone should read it and share with their friends. -> I do like that Team Skull didn't disband at the end of the anime. Them breaking up is one of the things I don't like about the games. Like, the can reform and stay together. (I also commissioned fic for Team Skull reforming while staying together and its good and everyone should read it and share with their friends)

-> Plumeria would have more things to do if Team Skull in general had more things to do and were taken a lil more seriously than they are in the anime. I do like the idea of her scouting and scoping and infiltrating in disguise. Also, I think she should make it farther in the pokemon league conference than she did b/c she's also a good trainer, and smart, and ruthless too. -> I think if she did make it further in the pokemon league conference and had to fight Guzma then that would be a great opportunity to show that the two characters are actually really good friends and know each other well. Certainly, I'd have Guzma win that fight, I'd also have that fight be the only one where he actually shows good sportsmanship towards his opponent. B/c he likes and respects Plumeria.

When it was on Netflix a few years ago I do remember watching some of the Pokemon Sun/Moon eps. And I remember how strange it felt that the ultra beast stuff had like a goofy Power Rangers type bend with folks suiting up as like a task force to deal with the things and just... idk maybe we should play the aggressive and fearful pokemon from another dimension more seriously. Darker at least. Cause like... ultra beasts kill people, they're a lot more dangerous than pokemon, they can do a good number on the environment more so than the invasives that are native to the dimension that the series takes place in.

[sleepyhouse2art]

https://www.tumblr.com/sleepyhouse2art/774057026027421696/i-went-outside-for-the-first-time-in-a

hey, sorry if this is invasive i'm just genuinely curious -- why haven't you gone outside for a year? (i deal with a lot of stuff too that prevents me from leaving the house for long periods of time like this as well, so trust me i'm not judging, if anything it's just nice to not be so alone in doing this if that makes sense lol 😅)

hey!! no no it's not invasive <3 this might be a little long im sorry

i've struggled pretty bad with agoraphobia before. there was a period before this where i didn't leave my house for two years but that was more because my schiz was really bad. after those two years i was fine for a year, i could go out without too many problems at least. but something happened to me last year.

so last year on dec 5th i was walking home from the gas station and a white van pulled up beside me. i looked at it and thought, 'oh shit it's finally happening, it's finally happening', and then i didn't have time to think anymore because i heard running behind me. as soon as i turned my head there was a man in a balaclava and he said to me, 'shh shh shh babygirl'. suddenly i was on the ground. i genuinely thought it was the police for a second and that i was being arrested. then i realized they would have yelled at me first and i knew it wasn't. if i didn't realize fast enough he would have cuffed me. he had handcuffs. when i saw the glint of the handcuffs that meant death to me. so i fought.

i am like 5'2 and 88 lbs so i am not good at fighting and i am not very strong. i struggle to pick up my largest cat, lol. i don't even know how i struggled enough for him not to be able to cuff me dude. i think he got frustrated so he just picked me up. i was saying no no no no no no no. he started carrying me to the back of his van. i was kicking him and hitting him. it didn't do anything at all. i saw the fence of the motel beside us and i saw the lightening purple sky and i saw the dead plants crawling up the fence -- this is my street, i wasn't even half a block from my house -- and i knew if i didn't get away right now that i would never see my husband or my cats again. i carry pepper spray in my coat pocket every time i go out cause im scared of men, and i carry it open so all i have to do is depress the button. i remembered just then that i had it. we were inches from the back of the van. he was going to put me in the van. i knew what would happen to me if he put me in this van. he was going to rape me and kill me and nobody would ever know what happened to me, my husband wouldn't ever know what happened to me, i would just disappear. i pulled the pepper spray out off my pocket and i just sprayed it behind me. i had never used it before. having it, and having it open like that i think saved my life. cause he fucking went down. i went down too, because he was carrying me. i started running. the weirdest thing was i tried to scream as i ran to my house but i couldn't even get a real scream out. it just wouldn't come out of my mouth. i don't know why. this is weird too -- i know i got pepper spray in my eyes but i could see perfectly until i got into my house and shut the door, because once i was inside and safe i legit couldn't see anymore. i had to shout for my husband to come help me up the stairs.

i have had really bad fucked up things happen to me and i have been raped more than once and i have had guys pull weapons on me before but nothing has ever scared me more than that man trying to pull me into that death van. i couldn't go outside after that. i couldn't even open the door to check the mail. i was so afraid he'd be there. and i read in the local nextdoor website about how other people had seen the white van too, how he'd followed a teenage girl on MY STREET again on her way to school and a nice lady had asked her into her car instead because she'd just dropped off her own kids and she saved her and drove her to school, how a woman waiting for the light at night had been trailed by the same white van with the same lightskin guy in it and she'd flashed her gun and he'd got spooked and turned around. i knew he was out there. i couldn't leave. i don't know what happened to him. i'm still really scared he's out there. i worry he still drives around in my neighborhood and that he'll see me and he'll kill me. i don't know if i will ever go outside by myself ever again. i can't imagine it. it's weird. i don't know.

so that is what happened and why i haven't been outside until today. im sorry you have struggled with not being able to go out too, it really sucks. it feels so shameful and you feel trapped and just shitty and like a burden, or at least i really do. i hope things are good for you right now, or at least if they aren't good i hope they are at least okay.

sidenote this is sort of funny -- he broke my glasses and i lost my shoes lol (my husband had to go back and find them in the snow) but he also took the chips i was bringing home from the store. i know because when my husband went to get my shoes and look for my glasses they weren't on the ground anymore. lmao

reminder to everyone everyone everyone but especially afab people PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE carry pepper spray and know how to quickly use it. it saved my life and it could save yours. the one i have is this police-grade pepper spray that may or may not be legal that my husband bought off some dude, i forget the brand but it has like a wildcat or a dog on the front and i don't like looking at it but he says it's a good one. don't cheap out on pepper spray because when you need it you really need it!!! you can get a good powerful pepper spray for like $20.

anyway, thank you for weathering this extremely overlong answer and i hope your night/morning is decent!!!

love to everyone who reads this <3 please be careful and safe and warm!

[lavender-storm]

Can I be?

summary | Reader wants to forget her first kiss. How about a redo?

pairing | James Potter x fem!reader

warning | one mention of vomiting, but not described, mention of kissing snape, probably grammar mistakes, she/her pronouns for reader

word count | 2.1k

a/n: This is silly. I've been proofreading this for weeks, and I feel like this is bad... Also, sorry for the grammar mistakes, i hope there aren't too many... Anyway, let me know what you think, I hope you enjoy! Have a lovely day xx

I just wanted to let you know, that this is a side blog, so unfortunately I can't reply to your comments, but I see them all! I appreciate it so much, you have no idea how happy your comments make me! ♥️

James has been observing her ever since she arrived to study. She's acting weird again, deep in her thoughts, barely paying attention to what James is saying. Chewing on her lips, she furrows her eyebrows. If somebody saw her, they'd think she is concentrating on the books and papers scattered around them on the bed. But James knows her more than anyone.

"Y/N?" he calls for her but she doesn't move. "Hey, Are you listening to me?" he asks but still, no reaction. Only when he snatches the book from her hands she looks up at him.

"What the fuck, James!"

"Tell me," he says quietly, moving closer to her. "Tell me what's bothering you."

Y/n sighs, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt as she avoids looking at the boy. How does he do this? How does he always know? Maybe he can read minds now and forgot to tell her. It's upsetting and calming at the same time, that she doesn't have to say a word because this is James, and James always just knows.

"It's nothi-"

"Don't says it's nothing 'cause I know it's not true," he groans. "You always do this Y/N! You know I can tell when something's wrong, so why are you acting like I don't?"

"Because it's silly!"

"No, it's not".

"But it is, James!" she finally looks at him, cheeks flushed from embarrassment. James looks at her lovingly and pulls her into a hug. It annoys James how she belittles her problems and tries to shut him off or how she feels embarrassed to talk to him, even though he reassures her every time, that she can tell him anything.

"It's clearly bothering you, so it can't be silly. And what if it is silly? I don't care."

"You're going to laugh at me," she murmurs, burying her head into his chest.

"I won't," he smiles at her, enjoying the way she fits into his arms. "You can hex me if I laugh."

"Promise?" she giggles, looking up at him, and James feels his heart grow twice in size.

"Promise," he kisses her forehead, and that's all Y/N needs. Of course, she knows James would never ever laugh at her, especially if it's something that is bothering her. It's not like they never talk about this kind of stuff, quite the opposite, actually. But Y/N lied to him about it, she lied to the others too, and she's afraid James will be sad if he finds out. He's always so honest and kind with her, why did she lie about this?

"You also have to promise me, that you won't get mad at me," she whispers. She can feel James tense up against her, and she squeezes her eyes shut. He pushes her away gently, trying to see her face.

"Y/N, you are scaring me. What is it?"

"You know how last week we were talking with the others? At the party?" He only nods, his fingers caressing the skin on her wrists, trying to calm her nerves. "And I said I've never, uhm. Ihaveneverkissedanyoneandiliedimsorry"

"I couldn't understand a single word Y/N," he says, searching for her eyes, but she's looking everywhere except him.

"I lied to you. And to the others. I said I've never kissed anyone, but that's not true," Y/N sighs. " I know you hate when people lie, and I'm sorry. I know I'm being silly."

It's true, James hates lying more than anything, especially if the lie is unnecessary, like this one. But this is Y/N who lied, and James could never be mad at her, even if he wanted to. What annoys him is that James knows how important The first kiss is for Y/N. She wanted it to be romantic and with someone she loves, and trusts. She always talks about her romance books and how she dreams of a relationship like that. She tells him everything. So why did she lie about something this important to her?

"So, uhm, who? Who was it?" he asks and his stomach twists, suddenly. Does he truly want to know? Of course, he does, Y/N is his best friend, and he wants to know everything. But then her cheeks flush even more, her lips turn downwards and she lowers her head even further, hiding behind her hair, and James doesn't want to know anymore.

"Severus," she whispers. James doesn't move at all, as Y/N waits for a response, and she knows she messed up. James and Severus are ‘enemies', he claimed a year ago, and while Y/N finds it childish, James takes this rivalry very, very seriously, and so does Severus. She's convinced, that they don't even hate each other at all, they are just bored and too stubborn to get over it.

James is confused. Snape? Out of all the people that could have been her first kiss, she chose Snape? It literally could have been anyone. James is a thousand percent sure that half of the school would die to kiss her, and she chose that boy? His jaw clenches as he thinks through his words, his stomach tightening with every ticking second. What the hell are you supposed to say when the girl you love and care about kisses someone you cannot stand? If he didn't actually hate Snape before, he definitely hates him now. He did not deserve to be Y/N's first kiss.

Y/N watches as James furrows his eyebrows, trying to digest her words. Her palms are sweaty as her heart beats in her throat. She knew how James feels about Snape, and she still lied to him. She should have just told him right away, maybe he would have been less angry.

"Please say something," she whispers. She never meant to hurt James or make him feel like she was going against him. James clears his throat and lets go of Y/N's hands to scratch the back of his neck. She put him in an uncomfortable situation, and now, he's mad, she thinks.

"Why- I'm sorry if- okay," he stutters. "Y/N, I'm sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't tell me this." Although he wishes he could go back in time and never talk about this. The image of Snape kissing Y/N, his Y/N, invades every part of his brain, mocking him, that it's Snape instead of... "Just because I can't stand him, it doesn't mean that you can't, uhm. It doesn't mean that you can't...like him."

"What? Oh no. Merlin no! I don't like him."

She doesn't?

"You don't?" he asks confused, and she shakes her head.

"I didn't tell you because - well because it’s Severus. And, you know, this is not what I imagined. I wanted my first kiss to be perfect. Well, not perfect, but romantic? And this was everything but romantic," she rambles nervously, while James relaxes, like all the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders. She doesn’t like Snape.

"Why did you kiss him then?" This may be another question he doesn't want to know the answer to, but he needs to know.

"Uh, I didn't kiss him. We were at the party after the last quidditch game and he came up to me," she explains. "I didn't want to be rude, so I just talked to him but then he started to get closer. And then one thing happened after another, and he just kissed me. And I let him. "

"O-okay," James feels sick but doesn't move. "I'm not sure I understand why you lied, though. You didn't do anything bad."

"I know, I know. When it happened, I thought I shouldn't think about my first kiss as some sacred and important event in my life cause there was no chance it would be like that. But now I regret it. It could have been at least with someone I trust. I just want to act like it never happened. So I haven't told anyone. I wish it didn't happen like that. It's stupid, I know. I should have thought it through." She's still looking down at her hands, avoiding eye contact as she waits for James to tell her she's silly. To scold her for acting without thinking.

"I see," he takes a deep breath before continuing. "Well, if that makes you feel better, my first kiss was horrible too."

"Oh please, I know you are only saying that to make me feel better."

"Eh, not really. I was a little bit tipsy when it happened. Sirius made me drink fire whiskey, and you know how my stomach can't really take it. So when Ella kissed me, I got nervous and, well, I threw up all over the floor," he says, cheeks turning pink as she lets out a small gasp. "But I don't think she can remember. She was pretty drunk too, and she just started dancing. It was weird."

"That does make me feel a little better," she admits, and James laughs. Yeah, he thought it would. He doesn't care about his own first kiss, to be honest. But Y/N talked about it so many times. She doesn't deserve this. Her first kiss should be something she would never regret. She's rambling on now, but he can't hear her, too deep in thought and too enchanted by the way she looks in his bed, with her cheeks flushed. She's so beautiful. Y/N's the most important person in his life, and every day he tries to make sure she's happy. Because she deserves it, she deserves the world.

"I have an idea," he says suddenly. "Since you and I both had a horrible first kiss. How about we forget it ever happened," he speaks slowly, scared of Y/N’s reaction. Y/N’s not sure she understands. James has kissed many people, so it's easy for him to forget and act like another was his first.

"James -"

"And how about we re-do it?"

"Redo?"

"Yeah. With someone - with someone we trust," James watches her intently as her eyes widen, and James can see the slightest spark in them. Maybe it's not just him who can feel this pull between them. James raises a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and cup her jaw. "I trust you, Y/N. I trust you with my whole being. Do you trust me?"

"Yes. I trust you, James," she whispers.

"Will you be my first kiss then?" he asks. "And may I be your first kiss?" Y/N nods eagerly.

He can see her chest rising and falling rapidly as her breathing quickens and his hands shake against her jaw. James leans in closer and places a gentle kiss on her left cheek. Then another and another, inching closer to her lips, Y/N closes her eyes, waiting for him. But James moves to her left side and repeats the action. He litters her face in tiny kisses, and he can feel her skin heat up more and more under his lips. His lips brush against Y/N’s as he waits for a second, giving her a chance to change her mind. But she doesn’t move, as her hands clench the hem of James’ shirt, and that’s all James needs.

He’s gentle and slow with the kiss, making sure that the feeling of her is engraved into every inch of his burning skin. It's unexpected, the heavy warmth that spreads across his chest, when Y/N sighs into the kiss. He's lightheaded and dizzy, and he needs something to keep him grounded, so his left hand makes its way to the nape of her neck, while the other grabs her waist and pulls her closer.

"James," she sighs again and James needs to use all of his strength not to moan. He breaks the kiss but neither of them move as they stare at each other in silence. Something is different in the way that James looks at her and Y/N's eyes sparkle, more than usual. His hands shift back to her jaw, and his thumb swipe over her bottom lip.

It's not surprising for James, how he reacts to all this, but it's still new, still exciting, still scary. What should he do? He wants to kiss her again, he needs to kiss her again, or else he might starve to death. It was supposed to be one kiss, to redo their firsts, but now he wants to redo all of his kisses, until the only thing he can remember is Y/N's sweet taste. He wants to tell her how he feels, how he has always felt. He wants to show her that she deserves the world, and everything she's ever dreamed of.

And, as if she could read his mind, her lips find their way back to his, pushing all the worries out of his head and he lets himself get lost in her.