#im sorry but im GONNA need that bleach. for. reasons.

[p4nishers]

MOBIUS WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO IN EVERY VERSION NOTICED SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH LOKI!!!!! EVEN THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!?!!??,,NJ,MKJN OH

[teamatsumu]

kinktober 2023 -> day 17

dirty talk - miya atsumu x reader

word count: 583

kinktober masterlist

Everyone in Atsumu’s life knew he had a big mouth. He was the guy who didn’t know when to shut up. And it annoyed the crap out of everyone. His friends, his teammates, his twin brother. However, you had never once complained about it.

When you first said you didn’t really mind Atsumu’s lack of filter, everyone was rightfully shocked. Osamu had questioned you on multiple occasions about it (“how do you fight the urge to just deck him across the face?”) and Suna had straight up declared you a psycho (he was being dramatic, of course). You had a feeling that if they knew exactly why you loved Atsumu running his mouth, they would never look at you the same.

You looked on at your boyfriend right now, eyes shining with adoration and pure lust as you watched him fall apart at the feeling of your pussy clinging to his cock in a death grip.

“H-ha~” Atsumu’s moan was high and broken, his hair disheveled and matted to his forehead by sweat, red flush covering his cheeks, his neck, all the way down to his bare chest. His arms flexed when he gripped your thighs hard, pushing them further up to rest on either sides of your torso, bending you in half. You sighed when it made his dick hit deeper in you, and Atsumu cursed.

“B-baby, fuck.” His voice sounded so wrecked, you were sure you could cum just from that. “Pumped ya full of loads of cum and yer still tight as hell. God, yer so perfect. Pussy made just fer me, yeah?”

You moaned at the words and nodded furiously, the slow slide of his cock growing torturous. He was throbbing inside you, balls tight and ready for him to cum again. Your pelvis was covered in your own juices and his cum, your legs wobbling and shaking in his hold. Your core was tingling with overstimulation, but you wanted more, more, more.

“Tsumu.” you gasped, trying to convey to him what you needed. Your tear filled eyes saw his own face stretch with a wide smirk.

“Whatcha want? Another load? Ya want more cum?” His voice dropped low, eyes like molten earth, burning into you. He leaned over you, resting his weight on you, before he pulled back to slam his hips down hard against you. You yelped when he hit your sweet spot.

“You greedy slut. How much more ya want? Yer spillin all over the place. Can’t even hold this much cum in ya. But ya still want it. Fine, then. Princess gets what princess wants.”

And there was his mouth, running and running, words getting filthier and filthier, slurring together as he picked up the pace. His thrusts were getting more and more sloppy, quicker, desperate. You could feel, for the thousandth time, the knot in your lower stomach tightening. You were so close.

“Make a mess on me, baby. C’mon. Need ta feel ya gush all over me. I know you have it in ya. I know what this sweet pussy can give me. Ya want my cum? Gimme yer cum first, sweetheart. C’mon. Milk my cock-”

And you toppled over the edge, feeling more and more wetness coat your thighs and his hips, babbling nonsensical words while Atsumu talked about how good you looked and how fucking amazing it feels and oh god, he was gonna cum too….

Miya Atsumu’s big mouth came in handy sometimes. The people in his life just didn’t know that.

Taglist:

@bxbyyyjocelyn @thisbicc @lazuliquartz @dreamayy @kuroosluthoe @true-form-hoe @akumakitsune21 @cham0mil3-and-h0n3y @samisfunky @universal-s1ut @msbyomimi @dohwaesu @leothesquishy @n0tmykays @tsukiran @reyofsunshinelol @bleach-your-panties @galaneiaeris @leyra-giovanni @erenspersonalwh0re @peachesncats @soapsoftheworld @iwannabecamiloshovel @vintagevict0ria @smithieandy @moonlit-mizukage @snazzyturtles @argwein

A/N: For those whose tags arent working, im sorry! I tried and for some reason, your names wont show up in the mentions :( another way of being notified is to turn on my blog notifs for @teamatsumufics . I only reblog my fics there so it serves almost like being in a taglist!

[ashecampos]

ANYONE BUT HER 7

JANIS IMI-IKE X FEM READER

a little Regina x reader

Warnings - swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions of anxiety. Regina being Regina. Hurt. Angst

The POV switches between reader and Janis (I use — when I change the POV)

there will be more parts to this, make sure to reblog and comment and I will get the next few parts up as soon as I can, happy reading lovelies 🫶🏼

———————————————————

TALES OF TESSA MAKE SURE TO READ THIS AND PREVIOUS PARTS BEFORE THIS, LINKED IS FROM THE POV OF TESSA (readers best friend)

———————————————————

I am startled awake by a familiar vibration next to my head, i squint to see who’s phone is ringing, of course it is mine. I groan and sleepily wiggle out of Janis’ arms, grabbing my phone while exiting the room to take the call, I find my way to the bathroom again and sit against the bathtub, answering the call not bothering to read the caller ID, assuming it’s Tessa or Damien.

“Y/n?” The person on the other end asks, as if they knew there would be a chance someone else could’ve answered. I instantly freeze up recognising the voice on the other side of the phone call. “B..Bea? Why the fuck are you calling me?” I say as I start to pace back and forth. “I know im the last person you want to hear this from but I was told you have been seeing Janis Imi’ike, im so sorry y/n” she says, obviously putting what she needs to say off. “Just spit it out bea, whatever you must say, say it” i speak with a sense of urgency “me and Janis have been seeing eachother in secret for a few months now, she had admitted she only helped you that night to make sure you broke up with me” she says. I search for a reason for her to be lying about this but come up with nothing, all rational thoughts gone. I make quick work of ending the call and storming back into the room where me and Janis were peacefully sleeping not even five minutes prior. I grab my hoodie and jeans, throwing them on, I then grab my shoes and leave.

One foot after the other I make a run from it. Like I ran from bea when she cheated. Like I’ve ran from every situation that’s caused me pain. I make my way back to my house, seeing a figure sat on my poarch, it seems they had saw me before i got the chance to see them. The person stands up and walks over. Only now do I realise the hot, sticky tears running down my cheeks causing my ability to make out the person falter. I desperately rub my face using the sleeves of my hoodie, silently praying it’s not my mom who is the one to see me like this. Thankfully I see blonde hair. Bleached blonde hair. Regina George.

She makes her way over, her pace quickening when she sees the state im in. “Oh y/n what happened? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?” She bombards me with questions while gripping my chin and tilting my head up to look at my face properly. A frown upon her own. “I’m fine I just want to be alone, go see Aaron or something Regina” I choke out trying to hold back the tears threatening to pour again. She shakes her head, unhanding my face and instead grabbing my hand, dragging me into the house. And up the stairs into my room. “Jesus y/n why is your room so dark. No wonder you’re so pale..no offence” she says while running to my curtains, pulling them open and allowing the natural light inside. I wince at the brightness of the morning sun.

She sits me down on my bed, leaning closer to me. “So tell me what’s got you so upset?” She says gently and in a genuine tone. So I tell her everything. I mean it’s Regina George. She may be seen as the ‘queen bee’ but honestly she’s never been bad to me or my brother so I trust her.

“So let me get this straight. She got you to break up with your ex so she could get with her then continued to see the both of you behind each other’s backs? Oh my god. I’m going to kill her” the blonde says while grabbing her phone out of her pocket and aggressively typing away. After a few seconds she looks up and smiles sadly “you’re gonna sit with me and my group at lunch now, trust me she won’t bother you baby.” She says while putting her phone away.

——-

I wake up and stretch, extending my arms out, feeling the surface of the sofa to find it empty. My eyes shoot open looking for the girl. She’s nowhere to be seen. I groggily stand up and head for the bathroom. She wasn’t there either. I sigh assuming she got asked to run some errands by her mom or something. I turn some music on and start to move the basement back to how it was before the date.

The day goes by so fast. The day turns into the next and then the next. No word from y/n at all. She must just be busy.

Entering school on the Monday was probably one of the worst decisions of my life. First everyone was looking at me. Then I got to my locker and there she was at hers. She sees me and walks away quickly. I frown assuming she was just in a mood with it being so early in the day or something like that.. until I see Damien and Tessa storming over. “Janis ‘Imi’ike I have known you for fifteen years but this. This is a new low even for you” the boy starts. “Tell me this is some sick joke right now Janis I swear to god” Tessa says almost immediately after Damien. I look at them taken aback at their sudden disgust and anger toward me. “Can someone please tell me what I done?” I say slamming my locker shut, staring both of them down. “you used her to fuck her ex. Janis I thought you genuinely liked her” Tessa snapped before Damien could say anything “what are you talking about? I do like her. And I despise bea” I say, frowning. “well the morning after you and her had that date night, I got a call from Regina telling me to haul ass to y/N’s house because the poor girl was hysterical, turns out Bea had called her and told her everything about you and… oh fuck, it’s a setup. We need to get to y/n before they do anything else”

——-

These past few days Regina has been the nicest I’ve ever known her to be, yes she is the ‘queen bitch’ of north shore but she’s always been nice to me for some reason. After what happened the other day, she’s only been nicer. I haven’t really spoke to anyone about what happened. I kinda went off the radar until Tessa turned up at my house demanding to know why I hadn’t been answering. Naturally I broke down and told her everything and after reassuring her (a lot) that i would be okay, she left to go home and sleep for school. Aaron didn’t really care about what happened. Not that I really told him. Yes he’s my twin, I’ll always love and be there for him but we don’t really associate with each other anymore. So when I woke up this morning I decided to ‘suck it up’ as my dad would say. I threw on a hoodie and some baggy jeans. Then Regina called me. “Hey short stuf- oh Jesus please tell me you aren’t wearing that?!” She nearly screams down the phone, I cringe looking down at my outfit earning a sigh from her. “I’ll be over in five, do your makeup and I’ll pick some clothes for you when i get there okay?” She asks in a sweet tone. I smile and nod before hanging up and grabbing a joint I rolled last night ready for today. I stare down at it for a few minutes contemplating what im going to do if Janis approaches me today. I haven’t spoke to her since the phone call. I didn’t confront her, I just ran. Shaking my head I light up and take a few drags of the blunt with laying on my bed, all tasks out of sight and mind.

By the time I finished the joint, Regina is in my room and looking through my closet, she looks over at me her smile fading while she grabs an outfit that fits ‘plastic’ standards, but is still in my style. Then she comes and sits next to me on the bed. “So what’s the plan?” She speaks before I can, I shrug “go into school and show her who she messed with” I say in a mocking tone earning a smack over the back of my head from the blonde, she laughs and drags me off of my bed, keeping a tight hold on my wrist to keep me steady. She drags us into my closet and sits me down, pulling my hoodie off and replacing it with an old band shirt I made into a cropped vest, she smirks and grabs my backpack, throwing it at me. She grabs my hand and we are out of the door, in her jeep and on the way to school.

I stand at my locker waiting for Regina to find Gretchen and Karen and come back to get me so she can introduce me to them. Looking up from my phone I see Janis, I roll my eyes and walk the other way, not wanting to start a fight twenty minutes before homeroom. I pull out my phone and call Regina to ask where she is.

Minutes later im stood with the plastics. Gretchen looks me up and down trying to figure me out, while Karen just stands there smiling at me. “I love your shirt, where can I get one?” Gretchen starts off, I smile with a little bit of a blush forming “oh uhm I made it actually” I say looking at the shirt I made a few weeks ago just after meeting Janis. The girls eyes light up as she leans closer “omg so your like an artist and a musician, that’s so fetch” she bounces with excitement. A laugh erupts from beside me “what’s fetch?” Regina asks cringing a little. “Oh it’s like slang from some movie I saw” the girl explains the plot of the movie, I smile at her and her little quirks “well that movie sounds fetch, we will have to watch it one time, right Regina?” I nudge the blonde, knowing how mean she can be towards Gretchen at times. Karen looks over my shoulder and gasps a little. We all turn around to see the commotion. Tessa and Damien are shouting at Janis. I guess Tessa told Damien. Well at least they’ve got to her before I could. Not that I’d even know what to say. “Hey cmon we should get to PE so we can get changed out of sight from the creeps” Regina tugs my arm. I know she’s never early for anything, which lets me know that she is only suggesting that so I wouldn’t have to see Janis. She grabs onto my hand as we all walk to the changing rooms. I drop my bag to the floor and pull off my vest, replacing it with the track hoodie I originally had put on. I change into some shorts and put on my not so white converse. Once we are all changed, we sit on the benches outside of the changing rooms, waiting for the bell to ring and for everyone to come to class, I put my hair in a messy bun before looking up to see two faces laced with shock “you have a tattoo?” Karen says with a smile, earning a confused look from me “you guys don’t?” I answer the question with another question, they all shake their heads making me laugh, I shrug the interaction off and pull on the strings of my hoodie.

The bell eventually chimes and people start flooding into the changing rooms, Janis and Damien included, the both of them are glared at by the three girls while I stare at the floor. The coach shows up, smiling at me, waving his arms around like a goof “y/n congratulations on last weeks race kid” he enthusiastically says before patting my back. “Thanks, hope the next one is just as easy” I laugh a little. To say track is stressful would be an understatement. Some people join to have something to put on their college forms, some join because they love sports, me, I joined because my dad wanted me to be apart of every hobby, he wants me to have as many skills as possible. I know he means good but the pressure to be the best at everything is crushing. I get snapped out of my thoughts when Regina’s hand holds onto mine, I look around and see people leaving to head to the field, I look at Regina and she mouths “you okay?” towards me, I simply nod, I wasn’t about to scare off the person who offered me a safe space this fast.

Approaching the field I see the teacher is holding a bag full of equipment, I look over at Tessa knowing what’s in the bag. Fucking rugby balls. I’ve never liked rugby but Tessa on the other hand. She loves it. It’s her whole life. She has been scouted by professional teams since we were kids. Me on the other hand, not the type of person to tackle people, I would happily just stick to track.

I look up to see Tessa running over to me, a massive grin on her face. “Y/n cmon we are doing rugby” she waves a ball in my face like an excited child. I look over to where she is pointing and see Damien and Janis, I frown and shake my head a little “wait T you aren’t in this class, why are you here?” I laugh a little knowing she is meant to be in English language class right now. Once again she waves the ball in my face “coach pulled me out asking if I would help with some tackling drills.” She nudges me before going to grab me to go see Janis. “Actually im going to stay here and help the plastics” I mumble knowing she won’t like me hanging around with Regina. “What why? Your not like in love with my cousin right?” She crosses her arms and stares at me “you and Janis need to talk. Sooner than later I suggest” she lectures me just as the coach blows the whistle.

Me and Tessa both get forced to grab a tackle practice pad and hold them up ready for the coach to tell people to try tackling us both. A lot of them don’t try to tackle too hard, a few manage to push me back a little but one manages to knock me. Regina. She stands staring at me like a predator scoping out its prey, she then gets a running start, getting lower to the ground with every stride closer she gets and eventually she has her arms around my torso and she manages to buckle my legs and she’s on top of me, smirking down at me with a satisfied grin. “Falling for me already huh?” She leans closer to my face with a cheeky grin, we stay like this for a few seconds before she gets off of me and we both stand up. I take my place back at the line, bag in hand ready to go.

I tilt my head to the side and see Tessa and Janis laughing, Tessa looks over at me with a sympathetic expression, it seems like she knows more about this situation than she’s letting on.

Once the lesson is practically done and everyone is walking off of the field I jog a little to catch up with Tessa and nudge her. “Hey can I grab you for a sec after we are changed I need to tell you something?” She says with a sad smile, she glances at Janis and Damien who are a few feet in front of us, then she looks at Regina and the plastics who are a few feet behind us. “Omg yes, I feel like I haven’t seen you since last week, sorry for going off the rails though” I frown feeling as if im to blame for this situation “that’s actually what I need to te- …oh hey Regina” she starts before Regina comes and joins us causing her to quickly change the topic of conversation. “Hey Tes, you should totally come sit with us, y/n has finally agreed to sit with me and the girls” Regina almost brags, a massive grin plaster across her pretty face.

[cartooemcanhis]

digging these headcanons so far :3 how about flaky or petunia?

Its your lucky day! you get both!!

Genderfluid and uses all pronouns

Always lived in treetown and they hate it.

They're able to remember theirs and others deaths, aswell as the events that led up to them, and it horrifies them. They've told the other treefriends but they never believe him.

She often doesnt leave their house for days on end and has to get dragged out by Cuddles or something

Technically friends with Flippy? Its complicated. Flaky is deathly afraid of him because of the whole remembering deaths thing, but at the same time he understands what Flippys been through and feels bad about avoiding him sometimes

goes through so many pillows.. like 70% of their money goes towards buying new pillows because they keep breaking them

Mildly greasy..be nice about though it she has seen so many horrors

like pretty much everyone in treetown, Flaky hates Disco bear, but they try to be polite about it which sadly has made DB think they are friends

Tries his best to keep Cuddles away from danger but it almost always doesnt work

Probably listens to punk music (Bevens gonna sue! /j /ref)

Pretty good at drawing but shes way too nervous to show anyone

treesys most itchiest warrior

Still has nightmares about the time his friends intentionally killed him in happy trails

Her and Giggles definetly got some kind of yuri going on but for some reason everyone just thinks they're just best friends

Always lived in treetown :3

Kinda self concious and convinced she needs to be perfect 24/7

She has a comical amount of flowers in her house (and has only killed one by accident

She has god awful taste in juice im sorry but cherry juice sucks

Used to be dating Handy but they broke up because they realised it wasnt really working, they're still friends though and there isnt any hard feelings

Smells like overwhelmingly good it kind of gives you headache after a while

Has given Disco bear death threats before but he just thinks she was joking

Her fur puffs up when shes mad and its very silly

one time lifty and shifty broke into her house and she killed them by pouring bleach on them it was epic

her and giggles did a money laundering scheme once

Makes amazing pancakes. you have not lived until you've tried pancakes made by petunia

[somasbrianrot]

Nepotism? Who’s She?

(Pt2/?)

Various Wrestler (WWE, AEW) X Reader

Summary: In which reader is the daughter of the great Edge, but everywhere she goes her achievements are undermined because of her father being the rated r superstar.

Warnings; Vince being an asshole, alcohol mention, slight sexual assault, sexual tension, slight smut (Not really)

after your segment on smackdown you are called to the office Vince has set up in whichever arena he hired, you step in to see Paul and Vince, you smile at them as you pull a chair out and seat yourself, tucking your legs, waiting for them to talk “So Torah, you pulled of a great upset for the crowd last night! But soon you’ll be dropping that title” I stare at Vince with a raised eyebrow 

“Excuse me?” I ask, staring directly at Vince “The only reason we took the title off of Liv is because we feel like her feud with Ronda has been stretched, so we had you take the title, and you’re gonna drop it to Ronda”

“Im sorry Vince but i’ve worked so hard to get where I am right now! I mean from my indie circuit, to njpw, to impact and now here! all Ronda has done is ride off of her UFC career!” I complain “everyone thinks im only good because of my father being here!”

“That’s exactly why we’re taking it! we can’t have someone like that as our champion” I look at him in disgust “So that doesn’t apply to fucking Charlotte Flair? Or Natalya?!” I scowl at him 

“I am not arguing with you on this, this is my company and you’re losing that title whether you like it or not!” I groan and leave without as much as a goodbye, I mean how could they just give the title to that part timer like that! I’m walking through the halls and walk into catering, sitting by myself in a corner table, frustration throughout my being.

“Are you okay lass?” I hear a strong Scottish accent and I look up to see Drew McIntyre sitting across from me, I sigh “No...I just...have you ever felt like the WWE doesn’t think enough of you? I mean because I'm edge’s daughter it seems like the world is against me” I stare at him and he nods “I know the feeling, it’s why I left, but hey I’m back, it’s a sport I love” “Yeah but...Vince told me he’d rather me not have the title because people all think I’m only here because of my father” “and they’re wrong, don’t worry about them” he gives me a comforting smile and I smile back “Thank you Drew” he nods and gets out of his seat, stepping away and walking off, I smile and sink into my chair.

I sit in my hotel room and I’m scrolling through my Twitter dm’s, bored, until I hear chatting and walking around down the hall, I think it might be some of my coworkers, I open the door and peak my head out and see some unfamiliar people, I stare at them and one of the women turn to me, she smiles and I smile back “Jamie!” “Y/N!” I slip out of the room and pull her into a hug, laughing with her as she picks me up and swings me around then puts me down. “Oh my gosh! Jamie it’s been so long girl! no way!” “Yes way! AEW and WWE are filming in the same city! and we got the same hotel!” I laugh along with her and someone behind her clears their throat, we pull away an she smiles “Here are some of the guys I’m here with!” I look over and see two similar looking men, another with beautiful curly blonde hair, another guy with bleached blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and another guy dressed up in denim jeans and a denim jacket, his blonde hair nicely swept with a pair of aviator glasses, I smile “No need to introduce me, I watch enough AEW to know all five of you” “Yea, we were going out to get some drinks, wanna come?” I ponder on it for a moment then nod, smiling at Jamie “Let me go get something suitable on” she nods and i run back to the room

I step into the hallway where everyone is waiting “excuse me for taking so long” Jamie smiles as she looks over, and the rest of the boys look over “You look stunning” You’re wearing a black sleeved mini dress that frames your curves, white stiletto pumps and a black sleeveless jacket thrown over it, I smile and nod, Jamie takes my arm and points the tongue at the men, as we walk off down the hall and to the elevator

I’m sitting down at the counter, Jamie and the guys went down to the dance floor, well save for Darby who’s sitting next to me, sipping on a bloody mary, I look at him and take this time to admire his features, he’s got beautiful fair skin, light blue eyes, bleached hair flopping onto his head, a nice hooked nose, and pink lips, his eyes flicker over to me and I avert my gaze as if I wasn’t just staring at him, he chuckles and turns to me “You okay? you’ve seemed on edge since we’ve got here” he places a comforting hand on my back but it just makes me shiver, anticipating and wanting more of his touch “You nod and shiver under his gaze.

see the reason why you were so nervous is because you had a crush on the performer ever since your indie routes, you fought against him once but obviously he hadn’t known, you used to be a mysterious lucha like your ‘Uncle’ Rey Mysterio, you sigh and he notices this “It’s going to be a long night at this rate...want to go for a walk around the city?” I nod, completely disregarding all my other friends on the dance floor as he pays for both our drinks and we walk out, walking along the neon sign lit streets, a smile graces my face as for the first time since we went into the cramped night club I got to breathe fresh air.

Darby slows down as we waltz in front of a 7/11 “I’m gonna go get a drink and maybe something to eat, want anything?”

 I shake my head no and he nods, he walks in and I lean against the glass wall, I look over and see two guys, obviously drunk as they stagger over Must be trying to get sober is what I thought to myself, I grab my phone from my purse and scroll through my twitter, one of the guys walks into the shop and the other comes to stand next to me, I look at him to see him staring at me, more so at my cleavage, I feel uncomfortable and scootch, covering my chest with my jacket, the guy scootches even closer to me, and leans over me, trying to catch a look down my jacket.

 “Can you please leave me alone?” I ask and he just chuckles “Well if you didn’t want me looking why dress like that doll” He reaches over and tries to tug my jacket from its position over my chest, just then he’s shoved back and I look up to see Darby, a bag hanging from one arm and the other between himself and the man as he puts me behind him “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll step away” he glares up at the man, the man chuckles and is about to say something else but Darby kicks him in the dick, silencing him as he whimpers and falls to the ground with a thud, he then wraps his free arm around my waist and tugs me away from the scene.

He drags me farther away then sits me down on a bench, checking over me “He didnt touch you did he?” I shake my head no and he nods, sitting down next to me and sighs “Shouldn’t have left you outside by your self, not looking that irresistible” that comment caught me off guard, I feel my face heat up “W-what?”.

“I mean I’ve been trying to hold myself back, so has everyone else” he cups my face and intently stares at my lips, I decide to be brave “Then don’t” and with that he pulls me into a kiss, I kiss back, then I pull away.

“Darby not in public” I place a finger against his lips “Wait till we get back to our hotel” He nods and we get up, walking back to the direction of the hotel.

I groan and rub my head, sitting up in bed, my bed is warm, which is weird considering I have my air con on and it’s been cold out recently, I kick the blanket off then im hit with a familiar chill, I look down and realize I’m half naked, only a large shirt cascaded over my body, I look down and see my dress and jacket along with my garments slung onto the ground, I also notice, tights and jean shorts on the ground as well as boxers, I look to my left and see bleach blonde hair peaking out from under the covers.

I gasp as memories from last night come flooding back, I fall back into the bed, this seems to disturb the sleeping figure next to me as Darby peeks his head out, looking over at me and then sitting up “How you feeling today” he asks, I look at him and shrug “I feel okay” he nods “Can you uh...walk?” I give him a questioning look before getting out of bed, my legs wobbling and then giving out, he laughs and quickly swipes his boxers, slipping them on and walking over to help me up “Don’t worry, I’ll help you get about” I smile at him gratefully.

I’m sitting in WWE catering, Vince asked me to show up on RAW for a champion promo today and I agreed, I’m scrolling through twitter then notice I’ve been tagged in something from a few days ago, I open it and smile

I hear a chair being pulled out and I look up to see the RAW Women’s Champion and one of my great friends, Bianca Belair, I smile at her “Long time no see, Belair” she smiles “Okay so I need to know, I saw Darby Allin posted you to his twitter, what’s going on there?” 

I blush and smile “Oh we’re just friends” she playfully glares at me as two more people walk over and get seated with us, the street profits “Yeah! I mean I was stuffing my mouth full at catering and Tez shows me a picture that Darby Allin posted of you, didn’t know you were friends with AEW guys” I shrug and smile at them

I’m in the ring with Bianca, and Roman Reigns, we’re having a championship celebration “You know Y/R/N, We’ve been looking for a perfect candidate for the bloodlines women's division for a while and I think you’re perfect” I smile at him “Well, I’d be honored to join” I stand up and so does he, we shake hands but he pulls me in closer, this makes the crowd go wild, he smirks and leans down to pull me into a kiss.

A/N ANOTHER CHAPTER!! I literally got this done in school but I hope you guys enjoy it, especially with the Darby romance and then the Roman storyline! makes me dizzy lol, also this is not at all proofread, byeee

[maiiyahh]

why sports anime charas wouldn't immediately get folded by ppl from shounens

okay so obviously this isn't going to talk about people from REALLY REALLY op verses like fucking dragonball or bleach or one piece, because literally everyone gets folded by them except for ppl from their own worlds and the mcs from those shitty reincarnated time-traveling tower climbing bullshit manhwas. i will mainly be talking about my hero academia and black clover bc these are the two that i think are somewhat 'weaker' (relatively!! relatively!!!!) compared to other mangas and animes ive seen. also when im refering to shounen i mean like,, ones with powers. ALSO, and this is really important, I AM NOT SAYING THAT THE SPORTS CHARACTERS WOULD WIN. i'm just saying that they're stronger than they get credit for, especially since a lot of people who i see debating this stuff aren't athletes and don't really understand how sport affects you in other parts of your life (including but not limited to fights)

SO!! point 1!! i think this gets swept under the carpet a lot whenever ppl are debating who's better, but powers that work in a specific sport can be translated into something outside of that sport. take midorima from knb as an example: he can shoot really good 3-pointers. well, outside of basketball, that probably means that he would have: a, really good spatial awareness since he never loses the ball or bumps into someone while shooting, b, insane hand-eye coordination, and c, crazy accuracy whenever he throws stuff in general. that's all stuff that's pretty useful in a fight, ngl. honestly, this skillset is kinda better than half the ppl in class 1a. like, sure, they've got quirks, but take away their quirks and most of them are basically useless.

POINT TWO. if a character has a power like isagi's meta vision or kuroko's vanishing thing (idk if it has a name) it's not gonna go away as soon as they get in a fight. meta vision literally lets isagi predict the future. there is no reason why this ability wouldn't give him the upper hand in a fight with someone else. especially since it's not strictly confined to football. the only thing he needs is data, and he can get a lot of that from watching fights. honestly, meta vision is so broken that i just know if he was in bnha it would count as a quirk.

POINT THREE, specifically for people like kise ryouta and reo mikage. anyone who can copy other people will still be able to do it. like obviously they're not gonna be able to shoot fire or do a domain expansion or summon a stand or any of that shit, but they can still copy physical moves. so if they go watch 100 videos of ppl doing krav maga or some shit they'll be able to do it, which would make them pretty strong. considering how in bnha (sorry bnha fans ur anime is just the easiest to compare too) people with more mentally-focused quirks can become really strong just by relying on a weapon or learning some sort of fighting style. in black clover literally half the people get beaten up by some kid who has zero magic and a sword. like, what's stopping kise from grabbing a sword and slamming into some random ua kid's head?? it's not like they'd see it coming.

okay i know you're getting sick of me at this point but just hear me out

sports anime are only underrated in fights because people assume that every single person with powers immediately solos. like, normally they do, but a lot of the time it's not a zero diff fight, like come on. sure, zoro would kill hinata, but would yaomomo really beat reo mikage?? like are you sure?? are you only going off the fact that since she has powers she wins?? think about it for a second, please, i beg of you. powers =/= strong. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[super-psycho-lov3]

am i allowed to ask multiple? if so, 2, 3, 9!! otherwise just 3 lol

2. biggest weakness

my biggest weaknesa is definitely how hard i care about everything like i care so fucking much its absurd. @puppyboypatrick can attest i found an egg and lost significant sleep over trying to keep it alive and i also named her. literally 2 hrs barely into being given said egg and he was very (fondly) frustrated abt this (womp womp) (i am not sorry!!!) its very bad it will kill me some day i swear.

3. biggest strength

um i dont know what my biggest strength is? i guess the same thing really. i care so much about everyone and everything even and especially the guys in my brain and i always always always have to have a tomorrow for them. for the people i love for the people who need me for the people who give a shit about me actually. having people who care about me so distinctly has done something really good for me even if i am still a mess LMAO.

9. hair color

my hair is TWO colors rn but its suuper faded. normally i have brown hair that like sunbleaches to red and gold its sooo pretty in the summer if i leave it undyed/unbleached (which is never im queer i have to dye my hair like legally /j) but rn im on like my third bleach and dye and its green and pink. supposed to be blue and pink but sadly it greend... like i said super faded but im gonna rebleach and dye soon! my hairs. really nice and for some reason its impossible to destroy. im not kidding this is the 3rd bleach. its still like absurdly soft. i dont even wash more than once a week half the time and i dont usually wash my hair 😭 i NEVER use conditioner i dont get it HELP

[angelcakegirl]

ʚ recognize ! ɞ

fboy!leon kennedy x fem!reader

wc; 2k

cw; smut (mdni!), p in v, unprotected, degrading, hickeys, re4r leon but in college au!!!, ooc leon(he's kinda icky), mentions of substances(alcohol n cannabis), i made leon a tits guy sorrryyyy

note; so sorry if this is kinda shitty im rlly sick rn n i wrote this at like 3am ;((( i rlly luv fboy!leon n just shitty leon in general so enjoy!!!<3

you hate leon is putting it real nicely. you loathe that man! he's a freak!! (in a literal sense too, he'll fuck whatever can breathe). to put it simply, he's a notorious man-whore around campus. sure he's attractive! but he's always rude, always judgey, and always horny. wouldn't be a shock if that man had a disease by now...

you were always a good girl. you tried to stray away from all the recklessness of life and focus on yourself, on your studies, and your future. the future meant a lot to you! okay?!

that didn't mean you could just stray away from any and all social interaction forever– as much as you wanted to. so you agreed to put on a slutty cop costume on the big night of halloween, and go to a party with your girls. you'd never turn them down! besides, how bad could that be?

so you sucked it up and went to the party. the place had blaring music, tables full of booze, and a few blunt rotations happening around the place. honestly, you never understood the point of doing this all at a party. would the alcohol not taste the same at home? would the cannabis not hit the same?? whatever, guess it doesn't bother you.

and the second you entered the place, there went all your friends now making out with random guys. really, this is why you didn't go to these places. same reason as before, why bother going to a party if you're just gonna end up alone? might as well just be alone in the comfort of your dorm! so you decide you'll just walk back. well, not yet. first make use of some of the free drinks lying around, then walk back.

so you pushed past the crowd of drunk party goers and make your way to the kitchen. pouring yourself a drink in one of those basic red solo cups. straight out of a party scene in an all-american college movie. as you took a sip, you suddenly felt someone push your head from behind with a finger, causing you to spill your drink all over your costume.

"hey! what the fuck was that for?!" you immediately turned around, preparing to scold whoever it was before rushing for the bathroom. instead, you're met with snickering from that stupid bleach-blonde boy. "you stole my costume." leon spoke with that same stupid smirk he always had.

you immediately scoffed. "excuse me?" and glanced him up and down. yeah, he was a cop too tonight. and obviously it was also slutty, but in attempts to get laid tonight. much different than your intentions! "so you spill my drink on me because of it?"

"yep." he said with a sly grin. the audacity! but whatever, you don't need unnecessary negativity. like, it's a fuckin' costume, get a grip bro? you push past him and make your way to whatever bathroom was available. albeit, it stunk of sex, but it works. you just gotta wash off so your shirt won't get all sticky, then leave. simple as that.

that was until you were met with a bit of banging on the door. probably two people out there waiting for their chance to get in, were people really that desperate for sex? just go home!! but no matter how many little occupied!'s you yelled, the knocking was persistent. okay, maybe someone needs to throw up or something? you unlock the door to let them in, only to be greeted by the one who caused this mess.

he swiftly shut the door, locking it behind him before coming to stand by you at the mirror, cleaning off your shirt. he immediately begun his stupid snickering again, "that look's worse than before." as he nodded towards your shirt. you wanted to kick him in the balls and tell him off, but he was honestly right on that one. the stain only got bigger, due to more liquid just being added. "whatever, this is literally your fault." yeah, like you care to hear his opinion!

he only continued to smirk at you through the mirror. goosebump inducing, really. he looked good but you had to remind yourself to stand on business! "you seriously think i care about a stupid costume?" he laughed a little more. "you look great tonight, princess. not as great as me... but still great." ...what the fuck were you hearing right now?

"you think i look good yet proceeded to ruin my clothes? doesn't sound very believable, leon." he looked at you as if you were the stupidest person in this room right now. "how else would i get you alone if i didn't?" he continued to grin at you. okay! you had to be going crazy at this point! "okay, so you did this to be alone with me and... why?"

leon shrugged, "you look hot and your tits look big." great. here you thought you were gonna get a good answer. yeah, no way this was happening! you immediately scoffed and went for the bathroom door knob, "bye!" but he stopped you by your wrist. "nuh-uh, you don't go anywhere yet."

you turned to face him and honestly... he was looking real sexy right now. but no! that had to just be your girl hormones talking, cause no way. he looked down at you with a straight face, before slowly beginning to smirk again. that stupid smirk might as well be his resting face at this point. "so, ya' gonna let me hit it or what?" honestly, you'd never agree to this!... you think. maybe it was the lighting in here making him look more appealing than usual, or the sexual music playing right outside the door, or the fact that it's been a hot minute since you last got off but... yeah, you caved.

as he took your small, embarrassed nod as his yes he was quick to press his lips to yours. now both moving in rhythm together as if you were made for this. he was quick to introduce tongue, making out with you as you dug your nails into his shoulders, but he couldn't have that. he pulled back, allowing you to catch your breath while his much stronger hands went from your waist up to your wrists. grabbing them both and pinning you to the bathroom door just like that, before bending down to press wet kisses down your jaw and neck. letting you whine and groan all you want. honestly, the melodies you sung went straight to his dick.

you tipped your head back, allowing him to more access to your neck. and he took this as his go to start sucking down on the skin, painting you with a few hickeys which will be embarrassing walking out the party with later. as you continued to let out a few strings of whimpers from the assault on your neck alone, he begun to snicker against your skin. "relax, girl, barely done anything yet." however, he wasn't complaining for sure. the sounds were one big ego boost to him and again, a giant boner booster as well.

his last hickey was placed right on top of the plush of your breast, which your low cut costume showed off anyways. thank god pushup bra's exist! he was quick to swing you back over to the counter, letting you watch yourself in the mirror. "s'gonna bend you over this counter like the slut you are, yeah?" if anything, he was the slut here! he chuckled over the clicks of his belt coming undone. "can't even recognize you right now." you'd much rather just not speak. mind too foggy with lust.

he easily ripped your little fishnet tights off you. whatever, they were from the dollar store anyways. and slid down your pink panties, chuckling when he saw the wet stain within them. "aw, all this for me?" as he sneakily tucked them into his pocket. as he freed himself from his pants, he nodded towards your shirt in the mirror's reflection. "take that off. wanna see those tits bounce." always swore you'd never listen to a man, yet you were quick to do what he said. he grinned when he saw them out. quick to give one a little slap, just to see them move around a bit.

he swiftly grabbed both your wrists in his one hand, noticeably very big. pinning them both down to your lower back. "it's a shame neither of us got handcuffs on us, huh, cop?" he joked as he pushed you over, using his other hand to push your skirt up to reveal your sopping wet cunt. he let his cock head glide against your folds, collecting some of your arousal on it. even rubbing his tip against your clit just for your own sake which sent jolts of pleasure through your body.

when he finally pushed himself in, you immediately gasped feeling that burning stretch. no wonder he always had girls on his dick, this thing was huge! real thick, too. he gave you a second to adjust, before slowly pushing in and out of your cunt. feeling your velvety walls stay nice and tight around him.

the feeling was all too much. moaning out, you let your head drop forwards to hang low as he started up his thrusts. which earned a tsk tsk from him, his free hand which weren't holding yours moved from your hip to your jaw, now holding your head up to make you watch yourself in the mirror. "need you to watch, can you do that for me, pretty girl?" you were fast to nod through moans, his words alone were giving you a clit hard-on.

he quickened his pace of thrusts. his talk continuously degrading, but with such sweet names in the mix. "taking this cock good, huh?" he spoke through little grunts. "like such a good slut. ye'made for it, baby." really, you shouldn't have gotten as tight as you did upon hearing that. feeling your walls squeeze against him did a number on leon, causing the blonde to throw his head back momentarily. "fuck– it's like she's sucking me in." he moaned out. and as in she, he obviously didn't mean you.

the room was filled with the lewd sounds of skin slapping and the squelching sounds your cunt made for him. that, plus both your moans, of course. maybe be a little grateful that the party music outside was loud enough to cover this all up, okay? he continued his thrusts, noticing the way you were getting closer. he's done many girls before, of course he can tell by now. his hand snaked down from holding your head up, to your clit. (but also giving your tits a quick squeeze as he moved), where he begun to rub you just in the way he learned majority of the girls he slept with liked. that, paired with the way his cock head kissed your cervix did a number on you. "you like that, baby? gonna cum all over this dick?" you made it very apparent that you in fact loved it actually, by the way you moaned his name and writhed for him.

as your orgasm began to topple near, leon found himself getting close too. really couldn't help himself, your tits in the mirror were just to mesmerizing. when he was really close, balls heavy with cum, he began his dirty talk again. "gonna cum inside this pussy, yeah?" he grunted. "like she's made for me, take it all." the sex was just all too good, and you were being sorta a pushover right now, so you really didn't care at this point!

his words pushed you right off the edge, as you began to writhe and cry out while you creamed around his cock. he took this as his cue to finally cum himself, throwing his head back in a low groan as he filled your cunt. "oh, fuckk yes–" he moaned out as your babbled through your orgasm, calling out his name and his only. that shit alone got him going as well.

as you both came down from your highs, he let go of you. quickly getting his pants back on. "well, i gotta bounce," he said in a hurry.

at least he did the you the courtesy of pulling your skirt back down. "hasta luego!" he shut the door again, leaving you in the bathroom of a party, out of breath, with his remnants spilling out your cunt. how fucking rude.

[angelicmichael]

living after midnight

Brooke Thompson x Montana Duke

Summary: Brooke and Montana get a bit intoxicated and get a bit carried away while going night swimming. Based off this post I made a week ago hehe

Words: 3.1k+

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and also vague mentions of weed, stripping (no nudity tho LOL), lotssss of sexual tension, lots of fluff, slowburn, friends to lovers, weird yearning angst for like .02 seconds lmao

A/N: Hey guys, sorry if this is random but I got random inspo for brotana so.. here this is lmao. Believe it or not I did try to make this under 1k words but.. I got carried away so I’m sorry that’s it’s long 😭. But the fic happens sometime after Brooke and Montana meet but before any camp redwood fuckery happens lmao. Anyway I hope y’all like this!! This is also probably the fastest I’ve ever written a fic so I hope it’s atleast decent haha. Anyway enjoy <3

A gentle breeze danced against Brookes exposed skin. The midnight air cold on its own regard but it seemed to blend perfectly with the extensive heat that radiated from the bonfire she sat in front of.

The night was entirely pitch black. The moon was vacant from the sky, leaving the only source of light to come from the giant fire that sat at Brookes shoes.

It was admittedly a bit unsettling being in almost the total darkness, especially with how many girls had recently gone missing in L.A as of late but the beer in her system had mostly put those thoughts to rest. Plus, being with three men and Montana was also reassuring. Even if she didn’t exactly know Xavier, Chet or Ray that well but.. she knew Montana.

It was nearly impossible to forget about how they met.. in the girls locker room in the showers and well; it’s not as if things were any less weird now. Showers or not.

It’s not as if Brooke and Montana were best friends or super close, because that definitely wasnt the case; but they weren’t acquaintances either by any means. The weird tension and ‘playfulness’ that lied between them ruled out being friends.. or that’s Brooke liked to think anyway when she had one too many things to drink. Like now.

Her legs twitched a bit restlessly; content at the ambience that surrounded her but not content with her current state of being. Like how she knew she should be enjoying herself, drunk, not caring about particularly anything at all but instead all she could do was fucking care. Her thoughts were purely infiltrated with Montana and it was embarrassing, to say the least but now that she was intoxicated there was really no harm in fighting it. No matter how annoying and taunting those thoughts truly were.

After all, Why should she not think about how nice it would be to feel Montana’s hands (which she knew had to be soft and delicate) on her waist and down her back? Why should she not think about Montana’s soft lips moving against her own, a few strands of her bleached hair (which definitely had lost it softness due to excessive over bleaching) brushing up against her face accidentally?

That was a rhetorical question; because she knew exactly why she avoided those type of thoughts on a normal day to day basis. Not because it would make things awkward between them but because it was beyond fucking painful to imagine scenarios that would never happen.. Never.

The smell of the fire and the sounds of the wood crackling, which was far too dry and poorly stacked (neither Xavier, Chet or Ray could build a proper fire to save their life), helped bring Brooke out of her thoughts and bit more into reality. So did the gentle sway of the tree branches which she could see in her peripheral vision, since they were right on the cusp of a forest that cut off to a beach. Ocean waves which slowly dragged across the sand were also soothing to listen too, albeit distant over the sound of Brookes friends screaming and laughing and being heavily intoxicated over what was more than just alcohol and weed.

Brooke reached down and swiftly grabbed the beer can which was previously lodged upright in the sand. Lifting the can up to her lips and cringing and unconsciously tensing up as she swallowed until the can was nearly weightless - wiping her mouth with the back of her hand just to see-

“Montana?!” Brooke nearly yelled. Both alcohol and temporary shock making her speak way louder than what was realistically needed.

Montana, who was previously standing several feet away with the boys was suddenly seated right next to Brooke on the log with no warning. Probably having moved over while Brooke was poorly chugging the alcohol she hated.. but she couldn’t help but to notice that their thighs (as well as basically their entire sides) were touching as she tried to wipe the alcohol that had embarrassingly dripped down her front in a frenzy.

Chet and Xavier looked back at them from a few feet away as they smoked what Brooke knew had to be a joint. Briefly laughing and giving the pair of women an amused glance before turning around and immersing themselves in whatever conversation they were previously having.

Brooke sheepishly met Montana’s gaze, feeling her cheeks grow nearly unbearably hot at the awareness that she was now being watched.. studied almost.

“Sorry,” Brooke added with a giggle.

Montana responded with a slight upturn of her lips; amused with Brookes actions not because she found it necessarily funny or pitiful, but for the sole reason that.. it was cute and endearing that Brooke couldn’t really hold her alcohol for shit.

It made her unique and different from everyone else Montana acquainted herself with. People that Montana had to basically learn to keep up with.. but Brooke on the other hand was different.. She was a breath of fresh air, and that’s why Montana assumed she was so attracted to her (besides her looks, of course).

Montana tried her best to ignore and not be bothered by the fact that Brooke was wasting perfectly good alcohol by wiping it off herself (alcohol that Montana wouldn’t necessarily mind licking off Brookes lips.. or her neck, or really anywhere else off of her). Instead focusing on how suffocated she felt here.

It wasn’t necessarily anyone’s fault. After all; she loved Chet, Xavier and Ray dearly but.. they were also undoubtedly preventing anything from happening between her and Brooke.. and that needed to change.

Montana huffed. Her deep brown eyes quickly flickering at the flame and then Brooke before speaking.

“Im bored,” she announced. Suddenly standing up and not letting her eyes break the gaze she suddenly held with Brooke.

Brooke responded with a simple hum. Her jaw quickly dropping once she noticed that Montana’s bright red nails quickly darted down under her own shirt. Hooking the material under her fingertips before quickly raising the shirt up and over her head. Throwing it back somewhere behind the log Brooke still sat on.. somewhere where Brooke was almost certain Montana wouldn’t be able to locate later.. which was probably done on purpose.

Brookes jaw still stayed ajar when she saw Montana’s hands automatically fly down to the small jean shorts she was wearing. She could do nothing but watch as she saw the button unhook- wait.. what exactly was happening?

“Montana, what are you doing?” Brooke asked with a laugh.

Brooke tried her best to fight the urge to look at her friend who was now well.. in her bra and underwear, out of what she was trying to convince herself was respect, but it wasn’t working. She knew for a fact her cheeks had to burnt bright fucking red; she tried to laugh off the feeling but Montana still stared.. her smile slowly growing wider until sudden laughter momentarily broke the tension again.

Brooke and Montana both looked behind them just to find the boys laughing and whooping as well at Montana’s sudden lack of clothes.

Brooke smiled back at them but it only lasted a second before she found herself overtaken with a emotion she never really felt around Montana before.. was it jealousy?

Just the sight of them staring at Montana (who obviously didn’t give a fuck, or was thriving off the attention more than anything) was enough to make Brooke stand up.

“Go swimming with me?” Brooke suddenly proposed. More than certain that her sudden impulsivity was coming from the alcohol more than anything.. it had to be, right?

Brooke looked Montana in the eyes again as she watched the other woman’s expression suddenly change at her words; looking utterly shocked and.. maybe a bit thrilled.

“You want to go swimming?” Montana nearly sneered, her tone reeked off utter disbelief, “and what are you gonna wear?”

Brooke laughed at what the other woman was implying. Her dark brown eyes slipped down to admire the rest of Montana’s body that she dared not to look at previously. Only looking for a second at the matching cherry red set that Montana wore. A bra which was most definitely too tight and cut a bit small, along with a thong with sat a bit high on her hips which only accentuated her figure even further.

She didn’t have time to think; her eyes darting back up to meet Montana’s which she knew were watching her.

“I’m not going naked-“

“You don’t have too. It’s not like their gonna see us anyway once we get away from the fire. Here.”

They both spoke in hushed whispers. Weirdly paranoid that maybe the boys would overhear and wanna join which- was something they both clearly didn’t want, although unspoken.

The distance between them was minimal enough due to alcohol (and other substances in Montana’s case) running high in their systems. Making personal space something that was now nonexistent.

Montana extended her hand out to Brooke to take. She quickly grabbed her hand, hoping desperately it wasn’t sweaty from how close they were to the fire and also.. just from the situation she was bound to find herself in. But due to Montana’s reaction (or lack thereof) she knew she had nothing to worry about.. sweaty palms or not, she knew Montana wouldn’t judge her. No matter how insane the circumstance; Brooke always felt safe around Montana. That’s why she supposed she was currently following her into the pitch black - her vision getting more and more sparse as they walked away from the fire and into some nearby trees that framed the beach..

“Are you sure they can’t see me?” Brooke asked, trying her best to look through the trees and see if any of her friends happened to be looking but - she couldn’t really make out anything besides the subtle outline of her surroundings which included Montana.

“They can’t see you. Relax,” Montana said with a giggle. “Now do I need to help you undress? Your taking forever and I’m hot- and it’s not like I haven’t seen you wearing less-“

Brooke tried her best to look offended and shocked by her reference to how they met. She knew that normally with nothing in her system she would’ve easily sidestepped Montana’s ruthless flirting but.. something felt different about tonight. After all; why should she keep trying so hard to resist something they both felt? And it wasn’t like anyone could see them anyway..

Brooke quickly turned her head to where she knew Montana was and stepped closer until they were barely a foot apart. Her feet nearly stumbled on Montana’s from the proximity; biting her lip to prevent herself from stupidly giggling once she felt hot breath on her cheek.

She grabbed Montana’s hands which first held hers back limply but briefly held hers tighter before Brooke directed her hands on her shirt.

“Take it off,” Brooke uttered. Her voice barely audible but not quite loud enough to be discerned as a whisper.

Montana didn’t hesitate as she quickly took Brookes shirt off, barely feeling the soft fabric against her fingertips before she quickly threw it behind them into the forest. Montana didn’t wait for Brooke to say anything before her fingers were quickly undoing the button and the zipper of her jean shorts which were only thrown somewhere in the forest as well (hopefully near her shirt.. Brooke could only hope).

Brooke tried her best to not look bothered by her sudden lack of clothes but she also knew that was purely idiotic since they were in the pitch black.

Nevertheless she looked down at herself, trying to discern whether her figure was actually visible or not but Montana grabbed her hand again. Making her gaze snap upward as she led her out. She knew they were going out to the water now; the sand under her feet and the fire now visible from a distance as they continued to go out. The sand becoming more grainy and nearly painful to step on as they got closer to the water.

Brooke quickly looked over her shoulder before she took the first step in - still holding onto Montana’s hand. She quickly glanced to see if any of the men they had came with were watching but surely enough they were still talking and laughing as if they didn’t even notice they had gone missing.. and they probably hadn’t given how fucked up they were.

Perfect.

She continued to hold onto Montana’s hand as she went further and further into the water; not phased by the sudden coolness she felt as the water wrapped around her legs.. submerging her further and further until they both finally stopped. The water lapping around Brookes waist, and well, nearly Montana’s chest since she was a few inches shorter than Brooke.

The water seemed to be a perfect temperature despite them being at the ocean; and the rocks had since disappeared under their feet and changed back into soft sand which also made the current situation a bit more enjoyable.

Brooke tilted her head back a bit, worried momentarily that her hair might get wet but it was worth it. It was absolutely breathtaking.

The night sky which previously looked completely black and void of any light whatsoever was now painted with what looked to be a million stars.

“Do you see this?” Brooke asked.

“What, the stars?” Montana answered, her voice holding a bit of amusement to it and almost as if she was trying to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah,” Brooke affirmed with a nod. Still keeping her gaze fixated to the night sky.

“What about them?” Montana asked.

The water rippled a bit as Montana started to a take a few steps closer towards Brooke, dissatisfied at the distance between them.

“Nothing. I just- it’s beautiful. I never do things like this,” Brooke responded, tilting her head down to make eye contact with Montana as she finished her sentence.

Montana smirked.

“Never?” She asked with a laugh. “C'mon. I’m not wet enough, let’s go deeper.”

Before Brooke could protest, Montana grabbed both of her hands and pulled her deeper in the water.

“But I didn’t bring a towel!”

“Your not gonna need one. We can warm up by the fire, remember?”

They continued to keep wading until the water almost spilled over Montana’s shoulders. The water barely touching Brookes collarbones but getting some of her hair wet regardless.

She hesitantly let go of the other woman’s hand in the water, intent on using her hand to help her gain balance since a few rocks were still on the ocean ground but - the exact opposite happened.

Brooke didn’t even have time to gasp or scream before her left foot quickly slid on a random rock that just.. of course.. had to fucking be there. Her hands quickly landed on Montana’s shoulders; the rest of her body accidentally falling into the other woman’s but she only felt Montana’s hands suddenly grab gently at her back. Holding her in place against her body.

Brookes eyes instinctively closed shut but when she slowly opened them and reluctantly lifted her head higher up (silently cursing herself for accidentally getting her hair almost entirely wet now) she noticed.. how close they were to each other.

Her nose was only centimeters away from Montana's shoulder.. which meant-

“Are you okay?” Montana asked softly, speaking unintentionally right next to her ear which made a shiver run up Brookes spine.

“Mhm,” Brooke responded.

She rose her head up further - her vision fully black now due to closing her eyes so tightly and being disoriented from slipping, but she knew from hearing Montana’s voice that she had to be close. Very close.

Moving her head a bit to the left.. almost microscopically, not wanting whatever ‘this’ was to necessarily be clumsy but she knew she didn’t necessarily have a choice in the dark.

“What are you doing?” Montana continued to whisper.

Brooke couldn’t help but to smile and let out a giggle that made her sound far more drunk than she actually was. She knew exactly where Montana’s lips were now due to her speaking. Thank god.

“You’ll see.”

Brooke leaned in slowly. Briefly bumping noses before catching Montana’s lips with her own. The feeling so heavenly and overdue - not enough but simultaneously far too much to take in all at once.

The taste of dull, gut wrenching beer started to flood her mouth. It was all that Montana basically tasted like.. that and a bit like smoke but Brooke didn’t mind. If anything it made the feelings of infatuation temporarily stronger. Brookes nails started to pierce the other woman’s back; wanting nothing more than to just have.. more. More of Montana; her taste, her hands, her touch.. the feeling was both pathetic but impossible to fight any longer.

The mere thought that this was something she was previously holding herself back from having was almost laughable but- that would be something to think about for another time.

Montana’s lips softly broke from hers.

“Eager.. aren’t you?” She teased.

Brookes eyes still refused to adjust but she knew Montana had to be grinning.

“Sorry.. I just-“

“Don’t be sorry. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Montana said lowly.

Montana suddenly leaned in with no warning. Her hands softly grabbed Brookes shoulders; leaning in to pull her bottom lip with her teeth.

After she let go, the feeling to kiss her again was strong but.. she thought of something better. The thrill of the chase was something Brooke always enjoyed, after all.

Brooke took a few steps back suddenly before quickly heading for the shore. Not really going that fast at all due to the resistance of the water pushing up against her legs but she laughed regardless.

She could hear Montana laughing and calling her a jerk in the distance but it was all just noise at this point. Her voice, the water rushing, the fire and their friends (which grew gradually louder as she approached) all started to sound the same.

Maybe the alcohol was finally kicking in.

Even though Brooke definitely felt tipsy, she still felt nervous the closer she got from being fully submerged out of the water. Maybe it was due to the fact she wasn’t certain what was going to happen at the fire, or if their friends had even heard anything but she knew atleast now she would have Montana. Exactly how she had Montana was something to be determined later, but as she finally stepped out and away from the nearly black ocean waves and ran up to the fire to go wait for Montana - she was comforted by the thought that things would now never be the same and forever would be different between the two of them.

Which had to be a good thing; right?

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @king-with-no-crovvn @melodylangdon @littledemondani @celestialrequiem @sojournmichael @ritualmichael @waitinvain @twilightzone24

Let me know if u would like to be added or removed to the taglist hehe

[yoichichi]

Pretty People Supremacy Playlist 🖤

for my angel @1010andneji , I hope you love it 🖤

disclaimers: fem!reader, because this a request for someone with she/her pronouns, I believe the reader is referred to as she/her a few times, Kenma is aged up and this is based in him attending University just to be clear‼️

warning: it gets a little saucy in the make out department ?

gif not mine, credit to owner

a/n: ahhhhh!!! I’m sorry this took so long and I really hope you like it and you felt like it was worth the wait! Please let me know if you need me to change anything ‼️ i luv you bae 😔✊🏼 also thank you to my wife @ikigaitooru for helping me choose your matchup here! I was stuck between one other person but we ultimately decided on Kenma, we both believe he exhibits prime quiet himbo energy :) also I kind of went off and wrote a lot on this one 😶 sorry I think? Regardless, I hope you enjoy!!!

Relationship Headcannons

Ok so ultimately, I paired you together NOT just cause you thinks he’s pretty but I think you guys would be so good together!! Like you would be so good for him

You guys would balance each other out socially and just be the best pair to hang out with pleaseee

He knows he can be stupid and chaotic with you and you know you can let yourself wind down with him!!

Kenma CAN be blunt sometimes so I’m sure he’d have to catch onto your sensitivity at first, but he’d be so sincere if he ever accidentally said or did anything that made you feel some type of way

And once he is aware of your sensitivity he’s constantly reassuring you in little ways, not only that he understands and is trying to comfort you but just to reassure you he loves you, for example :

HAND SQUEEZES

I know some people have mentioned that he wouldn’t be into PDA but I disagree! It’s just not in the conventional let me be all over you types of PDA

I feel like it’s just not a big deal to him cause he’s like 🤨 what do I have to be embarrassed for?? This my mf baby and I’m gonna hold her hand if I want to ??

Like, I see him as a big hand holder frfr

He would just see it as such an easy way to be physically close to you and even if that’s just holding pinky’s he’s down!

It would also help him if he’s feeling anxious!

Like he’d fiddle with your hands and fingers if he’s feeling particularly antsy or nervous

OH

You guys are out and he wants to go in a different direction? He’s definitely bringing your hand to his lips to give a quick peck and pull you along

“C’mon, let’s look over here”

AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT TOO LIKE HE JUST DOESNT QUITE REALIZE THE EFFECT HE HAS ON YOU WHEN HE DOES THAT (he totally does but he likes to be slick and act like he doesn’t 🙄)

He would also DEFINITELY let you play with his hands if you’re nervous or bored or whatever reason honestly, he’d find it soothing and knows it occupies you or fills a need (and you get to look at pretty Kenma hands c’mon now)

ANYWAYS there are other little ways he’d reassure you too besides hand squeezes and holding

Definitely the type to leave you little notes in places for you to find them and they’d always say such simple things like “hi- kenma <3” LMAOOOO PLS HES TRYING HIS BEST

I think the final biggest way he’d love to reassure you would be words of affirmation (this is definitely a private thing)

I think he’d still deliver them in a blunt manner but that’s how you know he’s sincere!

You two would just be chilling at his place and you’d do something simple like, ask how much water he’s drank today or play with his hair and tell him he shouldn’t overwork himself and he’d just look at you so seriously and be like, “I really appreciate you, you know that?”

And it’d be sort of deadpan but like !!!

And he’d just kiss your hand after - always the palm - and then he’d just press his cheek into your hand before kissing it one more time and moving on like that literally just didn’t happen KENMA KING OF HAND KISSES

Okok moving on before I get stuck on his hands again anskdkdksiaj

So we don’t talk about himbo Kenma enough!!!! Like ok

He’s NOT big and ripped like ya know Bokuto and he seems super smart but I’m telling you this man is a quiet clueless himbo ‼️

You can’t tell me you’d be talking on and on about biology or something and he’d just have this little lost look in his eye while he’s nodding along and smiling softly listening to you talk and you’re like ,,??

“Wait, do you even understand what I’m saying?”

And he’d really just be like no :)

“but your eyes are really pretty and I like watching your lips move while you talk :) (this man is also a king of innocent flirting and you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)

OMG and if you’re even the slightest bit flustered by his comment he WILL notice and he’ll do his best to hide his sly little smile and just grab one of your hands and squeeze it and be like, “keep going, I’m listening”

KENMA HIMBO NATION RISE

Ok ALSO you two would literally just be such a pretty couple? Just like so pleasing to look at????? Like you’re both so pretty it’s unfair! And your style OMG

Like you’re just so soft like the epitome of 🦋✨👼☁️☺️ girl and 🎮🎱🖤👾🌙 boy ykwim???

and his long hair PLS Kenma man bun supremacy 🙌🏼

I can’t stress enough how pretty you two would be it would just make sense seeing you two together ugh

UGH you dying Kenmas hair for him?? And he’d just sit cross legged in a chair while you do it and he keeps leaning and moving to wherever you are around him cause your hands are in his hair and it’s so soothing!! What’s he supposed to do??

“Kenma, stay still you’re gonna bet bleach on my shirt!”

“But didn’t you wear that in case bleach did get on it?”

“Kenma-“

“I’m just saying if that’s the case then I don’t understand why I can’t hug you while you bleach my hair? 🤨”

“😐”

“Ok so-“

“Kenma.”

“😒”

Yeah queue pouty Kenma acting indifferent 🙄✋🏼

Just give him a kiss on his nose and he’ll get over it even though he’ll feign his grumpiness to get treated like a baby a little bit longer

UGH PLS I GOTTA STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER

Bottom line, Kenma’s your quiet little himbo and you’re his loud soft girlfriend, and it’s one of the most adorable things ever

Ok, so we’re finally to what you came for LMAO, your playlist!

OKOK so similar to the first one I made, there’s no theme besides music taste so I tried to make this like a soundtrack of your guys relationship if that makes sense?

I really hope you enjoy and please let me know if you need any changes or would like to be paired up with someone else 🖤‼️ Without further ado, your songs and explanations!

1. Siren - Kailee Morgue: ok I think this one still kind of fits the vibe you’re looking for but you can’t tell me Kenma didn’t see you as some bewitching vixen who’s caught his attention LMAO like he’s just like 👁👄👁 she’s so pretty and entrancing help me! and he’d try to be like haha I’m cool I’m cool I’m fine 😎🥴😎 but it’s so obvious he likes you too (you’d kind of be able to tell with the way he looks at you and how it took so long for the blush to leave his neck and ears whenever he’d talk to you) but he just really decides he has no choice in the matter, he wants you so bad LMAO

2. Juice - iyla: more off the first one, the way you just appeared into Kenmas life LMAO like he saw you and just 😳🥴😍‼️ and once he started to feel real feelings he’d be so 🏃‍♂️💨 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM??? But he wants you so BAD he can’t do anything about it, and now not only does he just want you 😳 but he wants you and he wants to be yours , pls he has it hard

3. See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) - Tyler, The Creator: ok this is like THE song to your guys relationship just UGH I know you two would have such pining. Kenma would DEFINITELY be nervous to even talk to you at first cause he’s definitely like 🥴 she’s prettt hhng and he’s so shy and you just have such HEART EYES over him and you don’t even hide it that well LMAO (“it’s them rose colored cheeks yeah it’s them dirt colored eyes 😔😩”- u @ him) and it just makes him so NERVOUS!! But you two would definitely dance around it for a bit like you’d just be so 😍‼️ He’s pretty and shy hehe I like him gimme gimme 😍 and he’d be so flustered by it at first until you guys FINALLY get over yourselves (when kenma stops being a baby LMAO) like you guys jus wanna kiss so bad and literally everyone’s like JUST FUCKING DO IT, SHIT it’s adorable really

4. Doves In The Wind (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - SZA: ok I know this song is kinda saucy an idk if it’s overplayed but listen YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT KENMAS FUCKING ANTHEM!! like he jus absolutely jams to this song definitely a sza stan and loves playing vibey music like hers during his gaming sessions but like the way he would worship the ground you walk on and be like mf im HERS do not get it twisted, in no way does she belong to me buT THE WAY I BELONG TO HER WHEW ‼️

5. Moment - Victoria Monét: ok why do I feel like most of the songs I added on here are vaguely steamy LMAO but ok this song? Yeah whew 💨 this is definitely one of those songs that play while you two would be lazily making out with those little led lights on (you just know kenma has those) and you two would just be laying there and know this is one of those moments you guys are never gonna forget. Your hands are just roaming and caressing each other while your lips are locked and you guys are so breathless and it’s just wow, you guys must have manifested each other cause this moment is so perfect between you two. And even though it’s a little sloppy it’s so intimate and you both feel like you’re living in a dream. messy hair flushed Kenma whos breathing heavy? Yeah I think so

6. Deep Cuts - Healy: Kenma is always trying his hardest to be the best he can when he loves something. We know this we’ve all seen him and Tora when it comes to volleyball and the way he gets with Hinata. And this wouldn’t change when it comes to your guys relationship, he is constantly going to be putting in his best effort to get to know you better, be the best boyfriend he can be to you and make you feel as loved as he can. He’s memorized everything there is to know about you and sometimes he gets lost in that and it makes him insecure about himself from his overthinking (you can’t tell me he’s not a chronic overthinker) and he’d forget to just enjoy himself sometimes. Like Kenma stop stressing, you can relax when you hold her hand. But he’d reach this point with you when he’d probably be being a bit difficult and you’d just make him feel so loved. He had been overworking himself again, which you HATED. You could tell from the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was messily pulled back into a low bun and the way the neckline of his hoodie showed he wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath. But it was date night!! So what if he was tired and overworked quality time is important to you!!! I mean, that’s what he’s thinking. But you would just pull him into a hug and kiss his forehead and start to undress into comfy clothes and he’d be so confused like ?? Uhm, date night?? And you’d just pull him to your shared bed by his sleeve and under the covers and into your arms while you just kissed the top of his head. You’d take his hair out of his bun and run your fingers through it getting rid of some of the tangles and just be so CARING to him. “Let’s just stay in, you’re tired and I’d rather lay with you while you get some sleep, we can always go out another time.” Yeah he’s in love that’s it ‼️ you make him feel like he’s exactly enough for you as he is and that’s all he wants pls tbis is so long and for what??? Like this could be a Drabble in itself??? Anyways

7. Easy - DaniLeigh: you guys are definitely an exclusive couple but you really show Kenma what it means to just take it slow and relax! After the date night (deep cuts) he knows it’s ok to just relax into your guys love and he doesn’t have to force or rush anything cause it all comes naturally. Secondly , the WAY THIS BOY MAKES YOU FEEL - he just always looks at you with these deep eyes that hold so much love and it makes you feel so exposed every time cause he just loves you so much and it’s so intense l. It makes your face heat up cause he so clearly thinks your perfect. Also, this just gives total late night ride vibes. Kenma would definitely be driving on the freeway and this song comes on and he just places his hand on your thigh while he’s driving and he’s humming along to this song and he can feel you staring at him so he just casts you a quick side glance and goes “hmmm?” And you’re like 👁👄👁 nothing (Kenma is the king of late night car ride music fr)

8. CPR - Summer Walker: ok I don’t even need to explain myself with this one, the song is so self explanatory! You just make each other feel so at home. Point blank ‼️ like Kenma will just think back like 😇 where would I be without this bitch the thought makes him truly sad and he likes to avoid it at all costs

9. Rain - Lucy Park: pls this song is so soft (I hope it fits the vibe ahhh!!) but this is just more of kenma being an absolute softy for you LMAO. He’s not very good at taking care of himself sometimes and you’re always there to be like 😡‼️ NO‼️ and it makes him so soft he can’t help it, it’s not that he does it on purpose cause that’s insane but the fact you know his limits when even he doesn’t sometimes blows his mind and he’s never felt more loved than in those moments (let’s bring up Deep Cuts again 🙄✋🏼 pls this boy just needs someone soft to put him in his place LOL)

10. moonlight - dhruv: ok but when Kenma knows he’s in love with you, he has to tell you. And what better way to tell you than, well, tell you. He’d definitely try to plan it in his head to be perfect like ok what’s her favorite place? Where’d we first meet? Should I tell her there? Should our song be playing in the background? Kenma, your himbo and over thinker tendencies are showing, just tell her already! It’d be early in the morning, and you two are making breakfast together while he’s listening to you ramble on about the recent events of your favorite show and he’s just smiling and nodding, doing his best to recall the other plot points that have happened. And you, distracted with your ranting, go to take a bite of your freshly made breakfast- which is still scalding hot. You IMMEDIATELY start panting and drop your fork, running over to the faucet and shoving your head under it doing your best to soothe your mouth with the cold water. And Kenma feels awful, but this is fucking hilarious. So sure he’s holding your hair back so you can really get that water but he’s dying in the process. Almost keeled over and gripping at his stomach type laughter and you’re swatting at him to no avail and he just can’t help himself, “oh, fuck I love you.” He said it between his gasps of air from laughing and didn’t even realize it. Not until you stood up fully with water still dripping off your chin just looking at him. This idiot immediately started apologizing like omg this isn’t how I wanted to say it ahhhh but you assure him this was perfect, and that you love him too (pls love this man he can’t help but love you too)

11. Easily - Bruno Major: does this count as angst? ok call back to Kenma being an overthinker who overworks himself and probably overlooks his own needs at times, there’s bound to be some tension between you two at times. You’re concerned about his health and he insists he’s fine but you know he’s not, and while I don’t ever see him blowing up on you I could see little arguments about his self-care habits. Sometimes he stays up too late, or he’s stressing himself over something that doesn’t need that much thought! Regardless, he knows you just love him and he does the same thing for you and he just needs to get better at not being so stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself. And he just hopes that you know he loves you and appreciates what you do for him even though it doesn’t seem like it all the time, and that hopefully you won’t give up on him.

12. Streets - Doja Cat: ok I added this one mainly for the vibes but like you can’t tell me Kenma isn’t pined over in university LMAO. Like he’s pretty and polite but also indifferent, mentally ill bitches eat that shit UP; and there’s PLENTY of those in university LMAO. And like you aren’t a toxic possessive person don’t worry but MAN he’s fighting these girls off with a stick at this point LMAO and he just doesn’t get it pls, like he’d definitely be the partner in an assignment who just comes prepared and is kind of quiet to a fault but is so nice and just gets his shit done. Would also offer a pencil if you forgot one and maybe I’m just a whore but that gets me everytime 😌

13. Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth: ok mainly for the vibes but !!! You and Kenma in the kitchen cooking and this song comes on and he comes up behind you and turns you around and your faces are all close and he keeps singing “I think I wanna kiss u” and smirking but he’s just ghosting his lips over yours instead and moving his head back every time you try to kiss him and giggling before doing it all over again! giggly Kenma supremacy

14. Butterfly - UMI: ok we been talking about how much Kenma would be devoted to you, but like you wouldn’t be the same!!!! Kenma means so much to you and you do your best to show your care and all you wanna do is see him happy as much as he wants the same for you, omg you guys are so in love it’s gross 🤢

15. Pick Up Your Phone - Hojean: what more can I say!!! You guys just love each other and love spending as much time together as you can!! (I like ending these playlists with a really happy mood :) )

——————

Here it is! Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like this! I always get nervous posting for my baby’s 🖤 love you cutie!

-🐇out

[gagmebucky]

Hi, I just really wanted to rant about something and I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone I know irl so…

My dad is just a normal guy in every sense of the word, good and bad. One thing that’s bothered me for a while now is how I recognized he talks to my mom and while it’s not degrading, it’s just entitled and annoying.

Since my brother and I were born, she quit her job to take care of us so he’s been the one primarily earning money. This arrangement hasn’t put our family in any type of financial jeopardy at all, we live in a nice house in a nice area and his job combined with the money he makes from his previous service in the military makes him around 150k a year. One thing I’d like to note is that he works a normal 8 to 5 job. But for a year or so the majority of his company has switched to a12 hours day so they get a three day weekend every week.

Now I know you may be wondering what money has to do with any of this and I promise that I’ll get to that part I’m just really angry and need to get this all off of my chest.

Anyways, my mom started working again 2-3 years ago at his request and now she works AND does all the stereotypical motherly things (cooks dinner, cleans, any other odd jobs that need to be done around the house)

All the while my mom has been doing this, my dad does his 12 hour days (including lunch in those 12 hours) and he’s allowed to take 10 minute breaks and most often times watch tv in the background while he’s working (he’s been working from home since COVID and doesn’t have any plans to go back since his job is mostly on the computer anyways other than a couple in-person meetings a month)

After my dad is done with work, he basically retires for the night and just watches tv while waiting for mom to serve him whatever food or leftovers she’s put on a plate for him.

Now, I get to the current issue.

My mom doesn’t ask for much or even anything from him in terms of helping her. But there are just some things that make me angry when he says them.

In the past couple of weeks for pretty much the 1st consistent time since March, my dad started walking and exercising again which he does outside or in the garage. My father has naturally oily skin, and even if he didn’t, he is exercising so his skin will be sticky and sweaty! RIGHT!?!?!

However when my mom brought it up a couple days ago she didn’t even say what we both were thinking which was YOU STINK AND ARE THEREFORE MAKING THE HOUSE STINK!!!

Instead, she politely asked if he would take a shower since he worked out and specificied that she was telling him this out of love without even mentioning him stinking up the house or more specifically the kitchen that he was in.

Instead of understanding that exercise makes you sweat and sweat makes you smell, he snarkelly shot back, that he had something to tell her out of love too. And although he trailed off with a cocky laugh, the context of the situation and his numerous past suggestions obviously implied that he was talking about my mom’s weight.

I would like to specify that my mother is not obese or unhealthy, in fact she eats considerably less junk food than he does. And even if she was, it did not prompt my dad making that “joke”.

Now fast forward a few minutes, my mom and I left to go grocery shopping for the food she would make for him without him even having to lift a finger. She ranted to me that him needing to take a shower had nothing to do with her weight. From what she was saying I could tell that she wasn’t that angry about what he said about her weight, but more so about him deflecting the conversation from his smellyness to her (which is something he does often so he doesn’t look like the “bad guy”)

Now to today, my father once again “joked” with my mom when asked if he would honestly like to help her blow dry her hair (I say honestly because she wanted his honest opinion on whether he would like to do it or not, and it was something she never really needs help with but she wanted to spend time with him) he said that he needs to consult the “guy’s handbook” to figure out if that was a trick question. (My father is 55 years old and they’ve been married for 30 something years)

I’m sure there’s a psychological reason why I got so angry at him but I’m not going to settle that I was once again tired that he treated my mom like crap despite her doing everything for him. So I told him that my mom was being serious and it wasn’t a trick question.

I (kinda) knew that he knew this, and was trying to make a joke. But explaining it was my version of the whole “I don’t understand your ‘joke’ please explain it to me” in an attempt to discourage him from making it again.

But in an event that I would have seen coming if I wasn’t so angry, it didn’t work and he instead got mad at me. Recognizing that I could have handled the situation better, I just apologized however I was crying because of his rant that I wasn’t a part of the conversation and shouldn’t have stepped in . (I normally wouldn’t be so sensitive but for some reason it’s like everytime I have a family argument it’s that time of the month so I’m emotionally sensitive)

I retreated back into my room and apparently I wasn’t crying as quietly as I thought I was because be he then knocked on my door, then demanded that I come out and “spend time with him” so he could know what was wrong.

Now, I thought this was code for I’m going to apologize, but no… he literally didn’t understand that his words hurt my feelings and demanded that I tell him what was “really” wrong as if him yelling at me wasn’t a good enough reason to be crying.

After curtly telling him what was wrong in so many words as to not offend him further. He dryly apologized before defending himself and saying that it wasn’t his fault that I got angry and he was just trying to make a joke that he insisted would apparently be funny if I didn’t cut in. Then he dryly promised that he would try to treat my mother nicer and not make as many “jokes” because he can tell how much it affects me.

There is probably more to the story that I forgot to leave out. And I kinda want to know if I’m in the wrong in the situation or not. And reading back over this i am definitely biased but if you can manage to remove the emotion from my words then those are honestly the facts about what happened.

I recognize that I am selfish, he actually told me that one, but looking back over my life I know that I have been rude when “defending” my mom. I put it in quotations because my mom doesn’t need defending and she is more than capable to speaking up when there’s a big problem.

But I just get annoyed at people when they rudely deny her some of the smaller things she requests like help blow drying her hair and things she won’t insist on them helping on. I’d understand if kindly said no thanks or I can’t do it right now, but he just had to joke about it and be curt in his response for no reason.

All in all I’m just so angry that it is impossible for him to acknowledge what he did wrong without defending that actions that make someone sad or angry in the first place.

But anyways, I am extremely sorry for the rant and writing so much and I honestly don’t blame you if you didn’t even read all of this. I just wanted to tell someone and I love how your blog is so open and judgement free and you don’t act like you have all the answers of what is right or wrong but you just give your opinion and help when you can. Thanks so much for listening (reading, really) and I appreciate you so much!

baby, you didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. you are the opposite of selfish — your dad was being a fucking dick to your mom and you stood up for her. you had every right to be angry, and if i were you, i would’ve said some low blow, disrespectful, kick-me-out-of-the-house ass shit.

i think (respectfully) you’re over analyzing yourself to find fault in yourself when it isn’t really there in my opinion. he’s complaining that you’re rude when he was the rude one and you literally just defending your mom. being rude is like “you stinky piece of shit, im gonna fucking drown you in bleach and lets see you make another fuckin comment BITCH”

but you did not do that therefore his argument is invalid. i can only say so much because it’s you in the thick of it but it definitely seems like your dad’s arrogant and entitled personality is so overbearing that it makes you be harder on yourself than you should be. i think, legally, you should get hit him once with a bat, non lethally of course (unless….. haha…?). i just know personally dealing with that personality type can create a LOT of contained anger.

anyway, im rly sorry you have to deal w him. i feel like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and you seem so sweet and nice and you do not deserve to have to give your energy to that :(

[sunnydaisy1]

Kiss Me

Mark Sloan x Reader, best friends

A/N: There’s not enough Mark fluff on here and I love this man too much to not write anything. Hope you enjoyyy!

I absent mindedly watched the TV as Mark rested his head in my lap and I stroked his peppery hair. Mark and I had swiftly become best friends when he moved to Seattle and I was an attending in general surgery. Normally Callie joined us in our evenings after work but she had decided to go to Joe's instead for whatever reason. I smiled as I felt Mark chuckle underneath me at Jake Peralta doing something stupid. I looked down at him and my heart fluttered at his chiseled face. I was sitting on the couch while Mark stretched out across it but kept his head in my lap. I brushed my right hand across his forehead into his hair and ran my fingers through the soft strands. "You alright there watching me?" Mark said, tilting his head up to look at me. I rolled my eyes but smiled, "Im not watching you idiot." Mark chuckled and raised his eyebrows but returned to watching the show. I stopped running my hands through his hair, trying to focus on our favourite show but it was incredibly hard considering the sexiest, funniest and kindest man i know was lying next to me. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Mark looked up at me, eyebrows furrowed, "You expecting anyone Y/N?" I shook my head, "No unless it's Callie." Mark instantly shook his head, "nah not her." I frowned in suspicion and Mark beamed. I patted his hair to get him to lift up so I could check who it was at the door and he obliged. I tiptoed to the door, looking through the peekhole. As soon as I saw snobby Gina from nextdoor standing there with her nose upturned and designer clothes I groaned quietly. I tiptoed back to Mark quietly, rolling my eyes. "Who is it?!" Mark whisper yelled, still lying on the sofa with his arms resting above his head, showing off his perfectly toned biceps. "Bloody Gina from next door, she's such a pain in the ass and always comes round to complain." I replied, rubbing my forehead with my hand as the doorbell continued to ring, now accompanied by knocking. Mark laughed and i quickly shushed him, making him chuckle. "I can answer the door if you want and say you're not home." He kindly offered but I shook my head, "No it won't work she'll know I'm here with you, we need to make her go away!" I whispered, looking around the room. Mark smirked cheekily, "We could pretend to have sex." My eyes widened and I thwacked his chest, whispering "Mark! Stop being so dirty!" He just grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at me. I groaned and looked to the door again where Gina was furiously knocking, yelling she knows Im in there. "I'll just answer it." Mark said, sitting up now. "Yeah and say goodbye to a relaxing evening!" I whisper yelled, frantically searching my brain for ideas. Mark was silent and when I finally looked at him he smirked that signature grin and I crossed my arms over my chest. "What?" "We can just pretend to be having sex- " Mark started but I interrupted him, "No I already said no to that idea idiot." He stood up and put a hand on each of my shoulders. "No we don't have to make noises Y/N, however much I'd like to hear you, we can just make it look like we are." Mark continued, watching smugly as my face heated up at his flirting. "What do you mean?" I asked, scolding myself for even considering the idea. "We just make me look like I'm having sex with you, ya know, mess up my hair etc." Mark grinned, his eyes scanning my face. I gave him a pointed look and he winked, making me huff in exasperation. "Fine, come here." I gave in, pulling Mark towards me. A cheeky smile played on Mark's lips as he leaned down a little to me, letting me ruffle his hair. "Okay done." I said, standing back and biting my lip. "Actually wait a second." I brought his head back down and reached my hands round to the back of his neck, pulling the hair softly. Mark sucked in a breath as I did and i smirked, shaking my head at the horny 15 year old man. "Okay now you're done." I said, trying not to look at his ruffled hair too long, wanting to run my hands through it. Mark stepped back from me, discarding his shirt to which my eyes bulged and scanned his torso, taking in the toned abs and v line and his upper body. "Enjoying yourself there Y/N?" He asked and I shook my head, stuttering, "what uh no." Mark chuckled at my flustered response and went to undo his belt and trousers. "Woah woah woah." I said, stopping him from going any further. "She doesn't need to see you naked Sloan." Mark lopsidedly smirked, making my heart beat quicker, desperately trying to focus on his face. "If you say so ma'am." He ran from one side of the room to the other, before dropping to the ground and doing 5 pushups. I watched my best friend ashamedly, admiring the flexing muscles across his back and chest. Mark jumped back up and winked at me, his face looking hotter and a little sweaty. He walked to the door and I hid in the hallway, watching him open it up to Gina. "Oh hi." She said, obviously checking him out as she scanned him head to toe. Mark grinned at her cheekly, showing off flirtily. He acted a little out of breath as he smoothly replied, "Hey." I rolled my eyes at his smug look despite my heart beating rapidly in my chest. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Gina asked, a horrible smile on her face. "Just a little." Mark replied, winking as he leant against the doorframe. The devious woman in front of him practically melted and tucked her bleached hair behind her ear. "I was just wondering if I could please talk to Y/N?" She asked sickenly sweet. I waited for Mark's response as he smirked at her. "No can do love, we're a bit preoccupied." Gina frowned and clasped her bag, "I'll come back later then." Mark shook his beautifully gorgeous face and leaned down to whisper something to her. I strained my ears to hear and flushed when I heard his reply. "I'm afraid we're gonna be busy all night." Gina at once flushed but smiled flirtily back, "Okay, I'll see you around then." Mark nodded and closed the door as she started back to her apartment. He turned back to face me and grinned, watching me scoot from the top of the cabinet by the stairs. He walked over to me and let me place my hands on his bare warm shoulders as I jumped down, securing his own hands on my waist. "Thanks Mark, you're a literal life saver." He chuckled and let go of me as I smiled up at him. "Anything for you Y/N." I blushed and quickly walked to the open kitchen. "Put your shirt back on Sloan." I said teasingly as he went back to the couch. I filled the kettle and was just turning round when I felt Mark's hands on my waist. I moved to face him and watched as he intently looked at me, a small smirk spreading across his face while I frowned. He had me pinned up by the edge of the counter and I flicked my gaze to his lips and back to his warm eyes. "m..mark?" I asked as he continued to scan my face and I could feel myself getting flustered. He started to move closer and I panicked, coughing and making him lean back. He himself flushed this time but kept his grip on my waist, "Oh I just wanted to ask for a coffee please." I nodded and watched wide eyed as Mark hesitated before leaving the kitchen. My mind raced as I got some mugs out the cupboard, was he about to kiss me? Was I about to kiss him? Did I want to kiss Mark? I was too busy staring at the kettle waiting for it to boil that I didn't notice Mark walking back into the kitchen behind me. I yelled out in surprise as an arm turned me all of a sudden before I was quietened by a pair of soft lips being pressed against mine. I widened my eyes in shock as my best friend kissed me, his hand cupping my cheek and then pulled away, blush on his face as he looked at me. I stammered in surprise and Mark widened his eyes, sensing my shock. "Oh my god I'm sorry Y/N, I just couldn't stop myself, I've wanted to kiss you for so long and I even bribed Callie to give us the evening alone. Im so sorry Ive ruined everything." Mark stepped back but I quickly stopped him, placing a hand on his arm. He never got flustered and to see him suddenly so vulnerable cleared my thoughts. "Mark." He looked up at me with hurt eyes and I snaked one hand to cup his jaw while the other went to the nape of his neck. I leaned in but stopped an inch away. "Kiss me." I breathed out, looking at his pink lips. He at once crashed his lips into mine, putting one hand on my waist and the other cupping my cheek. We kissed for what felt like forever but was only a minute until I pulled his hair at the back of his neck softly and he groaned into my mouth, making me smirk and pull away. I rested my forehead againt his chest, eyes closed before I looked up into his eyes. "So, you bribed Torres?" Mark groaned and let his head fall, a small grin on his face. "You're never gonna let me live this down are you?" He asked and I beamed, leaning in and whispering "never" before capturing his lips with mine again. 

[carllisle]

For talking about the venom like bleach and its effect on clothes, imagine Carlisle just wearing those forensics or painting hazmat suits under his favourite shirt so it doesnt touch the venom. Alice brings layering clothes back into style (infact, she was the one who brought wearing a tank top over a long sleeved top into fashion)

Question, would they wear more hard-wearing denim or linen (a natural fibre) or man made fabric with a plastic base? Because the venom would react to each differently (Actually, please dont say denim, I've just imagined eddie wearing denim on denim on denim.)

(I know this is a lot more boring than sperm discourse but I love your acc and would love to hear your opinion. Have a lovely day!)

im sorry im gonna need a moment to get past 'imagine carlisle just wearing one of those hazmat suits under his shirt" cause im losing my GOD DAMN MIND

OH GOD DEMIN ON DEMIN IS A GOOD LOOK CHANGE MY MIND ESME WEARS A JINI JKIRT AND JANDLES AND CARLISLE WEARS A JIRT AND JORTS AND EDWARD WEARS A JOWBOY JAT AND A JANK JOP AND JNEAKERS OH MY GOD THE JULLENS CARLISLE HAS A JETHOSCOPE

oh my god im never gonna emotionally recover from this i am obsessed TRULY thank you thank you your mind!!!!! is a gift oh my god

ok im calm phew ok so wow ok no im good ok yes i am calm cool and collected. i think that the venom would take a little while to stain clothes enough that human eyes could pick it up, but no more than a few weeks' worth of wearing it. theyre rich, and they probably dont much care about waste, so they just buy more stuff. one reason why they might prefer lighter clothing is that it would show the dissolution of the dye less, along with creams and other off whites. as dye holds less well on natural fabrics, i think theyd be more likely to go for non-dyed natural fabrics, or polyester clothing. given that poly is in almost everything nowadays, that's pretty easy to come by :( so catch emmett wearing assless leather chaps to stay eco friendly

tysm for the ask i love u!!!!

[littlenekosfan]

Since no one else asked... Do the boys for the ask meme too uwu There is never too much Bazz and Jugram <3

oh BOY we are here for a fun ride :)

1. Favorite thing about them

that is a rather complicated question since it's so open... hm, lets go about what i like about their character

bazz, his passion, i love that fire he has in his heart, so bright you can see it shine in his eyes, in everything he does.. passionate people are the ones i love to hear the most about, their engagement and enthusiasm always inspires me even if i dont relate, you can tell im a person of love haha, its my most important value and he has no shame in showing that, he always smiles and have that confidence, and still feel like a relatable character, down to earth, and i really love that

jugram is a little harder to love given his... cold persona (no being hot wont count here) but there is something that makes me fall for him and its his unconditional love... he isnt really open about the concept of love, and he very much has his own interpretation of it, where he keeps hiding what it truly holds even to himself... while i dont like how he denies it, he never killed it, he never killed that flame in his heart even if it means it would hurt him in the future... his love for bazz is just beautiful to me, to love someone for all the goods and bad, from the past to the future, to love even if the ideas dont collide with yours... he cant let go bc he genuinely feels love, and im glad he kept it and accepted it despite it all

was that too fanon or vague ?? im probably talking to myself or i talk as if the person heard all my interpretation of these two... very specific, so i dont blame you if you dont get it

tbh there is so much to love, their story, their personality, their contrast, their relationship, their struggles etc etc, its just, SO much and its all so good..

2. Least favorite thing about them

ahh, i always try to see "what went wrong" with these two... while there is a lot of mistake there and there, which are human or misunderstandings, there is one thing that... kind of upsets me, its this

i know what you're going to say, naki you're not supposed to take it literally, but i think it is... the more i read it, the more it makes sense with how they acted in their separation, but has humans, its so.. out of touch... like, oh yeah, never talk about your traumas/struggles/feelings with your partner bc we understood eachother??? bro you've only known eachother for 6months and yall arent even adults....... no way they never talked about that but also, if they had, they wouldnt have had that break up....... anyways, what im saying is, its unrealistic and it actually irks me.........

3. Favorite line

"Don’t worry about what the grown-ups tell you, I’ll teach you everything you need to know, We're gonna become the strongest Quincies, Jugo"

"Ishida Uryu... you should go save your friends..."

both can get my crying in the club... the first one bc it touches me personally, and the second bc... juazz feelings

4. brOTP

jugram: lille, askin, his aide (also aizen ???)

bazz: haha.... who even wants to be friend with him, actually i want to... askin.

bonus with juazz+ichiishi !!!!!! i love that combination sm

5. OTP

ill just list my ships with involving: juazz, juazzbert, jubert, hubazz, baskin

6. nOTP

juhasch....... and lowkey bazzren/jugishi

7. Random HC

well... how about one headcanon of them by age slice

as kids, bazz was jugram's sunshine, too bright sometimes haha, jugram had to take a lot of time to adjust to bazz' energy bc while being cocky and.. arrogant, he's very nice, and he can see that, sometimes it would wear him off since he's not that great, but bazz is too good of an observer, he would quickly notice it and cheer jugram up.. a little hard duo, but they are both trying their best

as teens, they say they are stuck in the forest training but that would require a nice little house wouldnt it? minimum furniture since it's too hard to get some (ahem, sleeping in the same bed for some heat nyehe) but also, that's basically a domestic au lmao but yeah, cooking, doing laundy, bathing.... all stuff together :) i like the idea of bazz being the only one being able to read and jugram learns from him? he takes so much interest that he keeps a journal about their journey or discoveries... bazz too, but not as much... he's too busy being disliked by the neighbor city jfghdfg

young adults/prewar. oh... oh boy, that one i actually need to dev about it with scenarios and my personal hcs but ill go with a ns//fw bc why not :) while they dont talk nor get along well.. like, at all, that doesnt stop them from being... touchy, it wouldnt romantic or anything "reciprocal" (as in, its more selfish/out of impulse then doing *with* the other) but there is def some yearning... lots LOTS of it.. they would kinda regret doing it bc its not right, but they just cant help it...

post war, this one can be very very open and wide, but rebuilding what was lost brings some reconciliation... not fully, but the gap is less... awkward, so they can now talk to eachother without that weird tension, bazz would love teasing jugram but it would always end up falling on his own head fjghdfg,.. there is some up and downs during that time ofc, but no tension like it used to be, they would have some casual talks... too casual that askin can easily pick up how they have history fgjkkfgh

i actually have a lot of hc, such as their physical appearance, their little perks and ofc, their angst... its hard to dev when im just given one random hc fgmjdfg i either end up with scenarios or interpretation rip legit i can make a post of the same length about their hair.. THEIR HAIR.....help

8. Unpopular opinion

i have no shame to blame the very badly received ending of bleach to juazz unpopularity... also ppl considering them as villains, for some reason, yet arrancars gets lots of love and attention but not ritters?? maybe bc of the anime but still?? most ppl in the fandom read tybw now...... sigh..... also, if you dont think romance is possible between them, ill call you homophobe on sight (idm ppl who prefers it platonic, but if you think it "ruins" their relationship, you are so off the grid pal)

also, they are one of the best written characters in the whole series but nobody wants to dig as far as i did.......

and very very hot take but..... you cant have jugram or bazz as a fav if you dislike the other, not sorry

9. Favorite picture of them

and of course

[janus-manus]

dukexiety fanfic request? just a lil fluff of some idiots being goofballs?

Pairings: Dukexiety

Genre: Fluff, drama?, comedy except im tired so its not funny

Characters: Remus, Virgil

Trigger Warnings: Sex mention, dm me or send in an ask for other things to be warned for.

Words: 988

Notes: I cried while writing this. You really need to imagine like, intense acting for this. And. I’m sorry anon, I tried to make this goofy, but instead its dramatic. Apologies.

Virgil could feel Remus pulling the dye through his hair. Virgil wasn’t a particularly… touchy person but something about Remus’ touch made him feel safe. And… taken care of. I mean, it was funny. Like, Remus was so far from safety. He was… actually fucking crazy. But as the two sat in the bathroom with hair dye strewn across the floor at 3AM, well. Virgil felt about the most safe and at home that he’d ever been.

“Are you sure about this, Virgin?” Remus said, chuckling, “I mean it’s a pretty bright purple.”

Virgil breathed deeply and stared in the mirror. “I’m absolutely not sure at all and I know I’m going to regret this in the morning.”

Remus snorted and came around front to look Virgil in the eyes. “That sounds fucking perfect then.”

Virgil pushed the other playfully. “You dork! Finish my hair or I won’t do yours.”

“Fiiiiiine,” he got back behind Virgil and continued to gently put the dye in. The emo, calm as he was acting, felt his heart fluttering with every movement Remus made. He just wanted to fall back into the other’s arms and lay there forever. Of course, he’d completely mess up his hair and Remus’ clothes if he did that, so he resisted. 

“Hey, once you're done with my hair, I’m gonna wait a bit. You know, cause there’s only one shower, we can’t both be needing to wash our hair at the same time.” Said Virgil, trying not to move.

“What, you shy?”

“Remus!!!” The soon-to-be-purple-haired teenager blushed furiously at this. 

“What, I’m just saying. It’s more convenient. Wastes less water.”

“You aren’t trying to seduce me darling, are you?” Virgil turned around, smirking flirtatiously.

This time it was Remus’ turn to be flustered. He’d always made sexual and romantic jokes towards the others, but for them to flirt back was unheard of. I suppose 3AM does funny things to your head. “What, Virgin? Are you flirting with me?”

“Ahaugh! No!” Virgil’s face lit up red, “Just fucking finish the hair you flirt.” The emo chuckled and turned back, hiding his flusteredness to the best of his ability. Remus just smirked and went back to working. 

After a few minutes, Virgil’s hair was all wrapped up and ready to soak. Remus took off his gloves and washed his hands. 

“Now I have to wash out this bleach, then you’ll do my streak, right?”

“Yes, sir. Do you want me to leave?”

“Nah, it's fine, shower curtains exist for a reason.”

“Remus that’s… not the reason shower curtains exist.”

The other teenager just shrugged, stepping behind the curtain and throwing his clothes on the floor. Pretty soon the shower started.

“Say, Remus?”

“Hm?”

“How-- when do you feel most safe. I mean. Like. Auaugh nevermind I can’t articulate.”

Remus paused, “That’s a good question, Virgin. I think… Well. Tell me yours, you're always so anxious, I can’t imagine you ever feeling safe.”

Virgil chuckled, “Well… It’s, surprisingly, with you.”

There was a long pause.

“Me?” Remus poked his head out from the curtain. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I just… I know you’d never hurt me. Not on purpose and… I know you’ll do anything to protect me. And… I… I can tell you anything. I know you’ll listen. I know you’ll never laugh when I’m being serious about something. You joke about so much but you just… respect my boundaries so… so firmly. I… I want to lie in your arms forever because that’s the place that I’m safe.”

The shower curtain fell back, and Virgil could hear Remus lean against the wall. “Virgil… I… I’m so… You…”

The emo chuckled softly. “God you can’t even process it you dork.”

“Shut up! That’s… The nicest thing I’ve ever heard. Everything I want to be to you… I am. Do you realize? Virgil I want more than anything to be the person there to take care of you and fight for you and hold you in my arms and I everything you just said is what I want to be! I want… to be there! For you!” Quiet sobs could be heard over the shower.

“Remus, are you crying?” Virgil shuffled over. “Can I open the curtain?”

“Ye-yeah.”

Remus was sitting down, smiling softly. “Virgil… I care about you so much.”

“You’re such a dork,” Virgil reached out his hand, pulling Remus’ face forward. “You really… care about me.”

“God yes, I do.”

The emo let his hand fall to Remus' shoulder. “You need to finish your shower… I…”

“It’s okay, just hand me a towel.” Remus wiped a tear from his eye and took a towel when Virgil handed it to him. In a few moments he was dry and in clean-ish clothes. Virgil gently began working on Remus hair, preparing to dye his streak silver. The two were blushing, but the flusteredness was gone, it was… a sort of peace they’d come to. 

“Virgil?”

“Yeah?” The emo gently placed more dye in Remus’ hair.

“I… love you. It’s kind of dorky to say but I’ve already passed that mark tonight. I care about you… so much. I love you.”

The two locked eyes, and Virgil, Mr. Cannot Talk to Anyone, The Socially Anxious Wreck, leaned in and pressed his lips to Remus’. His dye covered hands found their way to Remus' jaw and shirt, but neither of them cared. Remus returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Virgil. They kissed until they ran out of breath, and then leaned into each other’s shoulders, hearing nothing but the other’s heartbeat. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other’s torsos and laid like that for what seemed like forever, and even that wasn’t enough. 

Is this… what being safe is like?

In the end, the dye came out alright, although if you look closely you’ll notice some purple in Remus’ streak, and a small grey bit in Virgil’s purple hair.

[fuck-customers]

I realised today that I have driven away several customers, just by existing for the most part.

1. Older lady kept staring at me with that angry lady face, almost as if looking for something to be angry. It was just after my break so I wasnt angry at the world anymore because I had food in my stomach. It was busy but I was actually in a chipper mood. She didnt say a word to me, kept staring at me, and finally said something angrily at me as she left. I had a regular right behind her and he asked what her deal was. I shrugged. "People want to be angry sometimes." Well, he likes pretty much everyone who works here, so he went after her to ask her what her deal was, why she was so rude. She cursed him out at first then said that she could smell alcohol on my breath. That I was drinking on the job. The regular came in and went through my line again just to tell me. I hadnt had anything alcoholic in at least four months before the incident so idk where the fuck she got that impression. She came back a few weeks later and I was working. I recognised her from her stupid haircut and flashed her a big toothy grin. She stared at me for a long time before leaving. Havent seen her since. Good riddance. (The regular made it a joke a few times after, but all in good spirit)

2. Two things you need to know: I look female and I dye my hair. I have to bleach it a good amount before I can dye it, so this lady was watching the progression. She was real nice about it. I finally dyed it this beautiful pastel blue for a Halloween costume and went in. She came through my line, asked the typical questions, and then asked, "So how does your boyfriend like your hair?" I blinked and smirked and just said, "No idea. But my wife absolutely LOVES it." Lady went quiet. Havent seen her since either. Sayonara, homophobe.

3. Working the late shift, but it's the rush right before the evening lull. Guy and his girlfriend come thru, and theres a good deal of people behind them. The guy keeps trying to move stuff in the cart as I'm stacking it and I hit him a few times with items. I stack like items together like cold with cold and boxes with boxes, so I didnt see what the deal was. Finally he snaps, "Well, I HAD things stacked the way I wanted it bagged, but Speedy Gonzales here ruined that." The girlfriend looked at him, "Shes up here by herself. Calm down. Jesus." Kudos to her, fuck the boyfriend.

4. I sent in a submission about this a while back. But a lady threw the biggest hissy fit because I stacked things too close to her fresh chicken. That was sealed in its tray and not leaking in any way. I touched the edge of a bag of pears to it and she got pissed. She tried to complain to the store manager and he could not have given less of a fuck about her. The one time my manager is actually on my side.

5. This was more because of my girlfriend (not my wife as previously stated, we arent married yet). Lady went into the store my gf works in and complained she could get something cheaper at my store. My gf then told her most places were cheaper anyways, so might as well go there. Then she casually asked if the lady had ever seen someone with purple hair working there. Lady said yes. My gf said, "That one belongs to me!" All happy and cute. Lady apparently pursed her lips and hummed. Another homophobe. Banished.

6. I say the phrase, "That's fair," to agree with people. Like if someone says, "I'm doing my best," in response to a greeting and asking how their doing, I'll say, "That's fair." Because thats all you can do. Well, some guy said exactly that when i asked how he was doing. But he thought I said, "That's good." Like I wanted him to suffer. No, dude. I agree with you. He hasnt been back since and I feel kind of bad but its also whatever.

7. This is only semi because of my existence as a cashier but here we go. My company makes you pay for bags. Or you can bring your own or you can use empty boxes. We dont care how you take your groceries, as long as you take them. Hardly any store in my state does this. Only one other store in my entire town doesnt have plastic bags, and its an expensive natural grocery store, so not many people go there anyways. This family comes through my line with a giant cart. They unload. Or more the wife unloads and the husband comes and bitches about how they had to use a quarter to get the cart and why dont we have cart pushers and why did we take that job from people. I load my extra cart and they throw a fit when they have to move their baby to the new cart so I can have the empty. Then they ask why I didnt bag their stuff. I tell them you have to buy bags or bring your own and bag it yourself. I barely get through my sentence. The husband starts throwing a fit, saying it was the most ridiculous thing to pay for bags. That they could go down to Malwart to get bags and bring them. I just say that he could if he wanted, I do not care. My store manager is on the register ahead of me and turns to look at the guy and gives me this look of, "What the fuck." They bitch and the husband bitches at the store manager, whos trying to clear up how we do things. The wife goes to pay and her card declines. It says CARD FRAUD. She starts yelling at me like its my fault. I tell her she needs to call her bank, and we can hold their groceries. I get a suspend. The couple bitches rhe whole way out. My manager looks at me and says, "Theyre not coming back. If theyre gonna throw a fit over a couple of $0.07 bags, they can fuck off." Sure enough, they havent been back. Sorry I have to adhere to my company policy. Btw, if youre nice, I'll just let you take the bags. Its not like the $0.08 or $0.11 are coming out of my pocket. I get paid by the hour.

Thats all the stories I can think of right now. Im sure there'll be more. My existence enfuriates people for some reason.