#im so so sad reading this and im not even halfway through yet | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

resident-gay-bitch · 1 year ago

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inspired by this tik tok :)

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sirius waddled across the commonroom, drink spilling from his cup and all over his hands. he grimaces at the sticky feeling and attempts to wipe it away with his other hand, only transferring the golden liquid onto his fingers. he shook his hand out in disgust and stumbled backwards, falling on his ass at the bottom of the staircase.

sirius let out a whine, rubbing at his lower back and almost spilling more of his drink again. he’s so fucking drunk it’s crazy; the rooms spinning, everything’s blurry, he feels sick and dizzy and so, so fucking sad.

sirius doesn’t want to feel sad. he wants to feel very happy. gryffindor just won the quidditch cup, mary and marlene were celebrating three months tonight, and james was over there full frontal snogging regulus - which sirius has his reservations about, but so long as they make eachother happy he’s okay with it.

sirius doesn’t know why he’s so sad.

well, he does. he just thinks it’s stupid.

it all started when everyone around him started making out with eachother. sirius wants to make out with remus really badly. he’s wanted to make out with remus for a really long time, but it’s all so confusing and conflicting and it seems like remus is interested in lily and sirius doesn’t want to get in the way of that.

he can’t even find remus in this massive crowd. he’d probably gone to bed early, with a headache or something. poor remus, sirius wishes he could kiss him better, if that’s the case. but that will never happen.

he progressively got more and more shitfaced in attempt to cover the hole he had in his heart, watching everyone be young and in love and snogging. to try and make himself feel okay without remus right by his side.

but it didn’t work!

all it did was make him sad and nauseous and really fucking clumsy. he just wants remus.

he wants remus so bad.

“you alright?” a voice came from beside him, a few steps up.

sirius turned his head and squinted his eyes at the boy, he was reading a book… at a party… that’s something remus would do. who does this fake-remus think he is, reading a book at a party? that’s something only his moony can do, thank you very much.

“yep.” sirius muttered and swayed as he tried to stand, “just… okay.”

“just okay?” they asked, and sirius nodded.

“do you need something, sirius?”

“how… how do you know my name?” sirius slurred, taking another sip of his drink, slumping against the wall as he looked at the mystery person.

“because we’re friends, sirius.”

“oh…” sirius scratched his head, “are we good friends?”

the person with a blurry face smiled and set their book down on their lap, “i’d say we’re pretty close.”

“okay…” Sirius nodded and swung forward to get closer to them, and in a harsh whisper he asked, “can i tell you a secret?”

“why don’t you tell james?” they asked back in a regular voice.

“he’s… busy.” sirius waggled his hand about in the general direction of the party, “got ‘is tongue halfway down my brothers throat.”

“lovely,” they sighed, “good for, james.”

“mhm.” sirius grunted, “bloody good for him… s’not good for me though.”

“no?” fake-remus asked.

“nup!” sirius shook his head, “can i pleaseeee tell you my secret? not even james knows yet.”

“sirius… do you really want to tell me?”

sirius nodded and poked them on the nose, “if you keep it a secret… i’ll… make sure you’re safe from pranks.”

the other boy sighed, running a hand through his soft looking hair and smiled, “yeah, alright…" he stage whispered to sirius this time, "go on then, what’s your secret?”

“pinky promise?” sirius said, holding his finger out to shake with.

they shook it, locking their finger over sirius’ own and grimacing with the stickiness on his skin.

“so…” sirius said, swinging around to sit next to them, “you know my friend remus?”

the boy stoped for a moment, looking at sirius with suspicious eyes. he swallowed and hesitantly nodded.

“well…” sirius sighed, “im bloody well in love with him, i think.”

“you’re…” they said, going silent again and looking away from sirius for a moment.

sirius only noticed how hot it was in here, due to the pink flush in the other boys cheeks. sirius decided to strip off his jacket, and started undoing the buttons to his shirt to cool down.

“he’s just so… perfect, you know?” sirius went on, slurring each and every honest word, “think he’s wonderful, don’t you? i just wanna kiss him so bad, sometimes. and you don’t know half of what i’d let him do to me-“

“okay, sirius.” they said, plucking sirius’ cup from his hands (not without a protesting whine) and pulled sirius' hands away from himself as he started to unbuckle his jeans, “up we hop. you’ve had a bit too much to drink, i think. off to bed now.”

“off to bed…” sirius sighed, letting this lovely (copy cat) stranger lead him up the stairs as he tripped and swayed, his shirt gone now and in the mystery persons hands, “time for sleepy-bies, sirius… go to sleep, or the boogie man will get you!”

“alright, pads.” they said with a heavy sigh, petting sirius on the back a few times as they helped him to walk.

once in the dorm room, sirius realised it was empty, “where’s my moony?”

“...he’s busy.”

“oh…” sirius sighed, moving over to his bed and allowing this person to help him remove his shoes, “he’s probably off with lily again… lily, lily, lily.” he poked his tongue out and blew a raspberry, making dumb sounds as he spoke, “perfect fucking lily, who’s a girl. she’s a bloody girl. she’s so fucking wonderful, ands everything m’not.”

“what are you yapping about?” they asked, laying sirius down in bed, pulling the covers up to his shoulders, just how he likes.

“s’lily.” he pouted, rolling onto his side and curling in on himself, “he loves her, i think. never stood a chance against lily bloody evans.”

there was a long silence, and sirius closed his eyes, basking in the comfort of his pillow. it smelled lovely, different to usual. it smelled like remus, and that was enough to lull sirius to sleep almost immediately.

“he’s not in love with lily, sirius.” the voice whispered as they stroked a hand over sirius’ hair. only remus and james were allowed to do that, and it feels like remus’ hand, so he supposed it’s okay for now. “i’m in love with you too.”

sirius barely registered that though, and he hummed before passing out completely.

sirius woke to a sharp light poking into his eyelids. he opened his eyes eventually, rubbing them to find the curtain of his bed frame pulled back. only, he wasn’t in his bed, he realised. he was in remus’.

merlin, how’d he end up there?

his head is pounding and his mouth's dry.

“morning.” remus said with a smile, walking out of the bathroom and over to the bed, “sorry, forgot to close the curtains after james went for his run this morning.”

“how’s’e not hungover?” sirius mumbled, stretching out his body and flopping back down. he feels kinda ill.

“the sun shines out of his ass or something.” remus smiled and climbed into the bed beside sirius, drawing the curtain closed behind him.

sirius groaned and shuffled over before realising that remus was actually lying under the covers with him. remus was reaching out and pulling sirius in closer.

“what’re you doing?” he mumbled, his face much too close to remus’.

“admiring you.” remus said softly, “you’re fucking gorgeous in the mornings, you realise?”

sirius felt himself flush from head to toe, “what?”

“mhm…” remus said, smiling all dopey. his eyes were heavy lidded and he nudged his nose against sirius’, “are you feeling okay, love?”

oh for fucking merlin’s sake! what was happening?

“are you?”

remus chuckled and nodded his head, “i feel amazing, sirius… can i kiss you?”

what?

“are you joking?” sirius muttered, “is this some joke?”

“nope.” remus grinned, “i just had a realisation last night, and decided to do something about it.”

“what realisation?”

“that we’re in love.” remus smiled, “and that you want to kiss me. can i kiss you?”

“you’re…”

“are you feeling okay, sirius?”

“i’d feel bloody perfect if you kissed me, moony.”

remus smiled and laughed, pulling sirius in closer until their lips brushed. and sirius lost it. he sunk into remus’ hold and kissed him. he kissed him so much he thinks he might have lost some brain-cells.

“you love me?” sirius muttered against his lips.

“yes, sirius.” he smiled, “lily is my friend, i like men.”

“oh…” sirius furrowed his brow, he had no idea what bought this about, or how remus knew of sirius’ feelings but he was kinda feeling too high on remus to care right now.

he kissed remus again. and some more. and even more, and then- then he was rolling over the top of remus and running to the bathroom, thankfully reaching the toilet before spilling his guts out into it.

"how are you feeling?" remus asked, once sirius pulled back from the full toilet bowel, chest heaving to get the air back in his lungs.

he felt like fucking shit, he’d had far too much to drink last night. but that hardly mattered because remus kissed him. and now remus was here, holding his hair and stroking his back and kissing the top of sirius’ head, and everything was going to be just fine.

sirius smiled and rested his head against the toilet bowel, looking up at his moony, "perfect."

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sonny-whorezik · 10 months ago

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haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,

#story

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 10 months ago

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I re-read my post about chapters 22-30 and I realized that theres so much I just fully forgot to mention, mostly relating to the inner circle so heres a quick summary of my thoughts about each ic member now that Im about halfway through the book and have spent some time with them. To briefly recap my previous thoughts, I think their group dynamic is insanely uncomfortable because of how apparent their hierarchy is and also none of them seem to actually like each other all that much

Amren

I dont dislike her in the sense that I dont dislike her personality or the basic concept of her character, but I do hate that shes in the inner circle at all. Like, whats this eldritch creature trapped in a body thats not her own doing hanging out with all these boring people ass people FOR 500 YEARS dude, if I had to spend 500 years with Rhysand I would destroy the entire night court regardless of whether or not I had Amren-levels of power. Like, why on earth would she be satisfied playing second fiddle to Rhysand and living in an APARTMENT in his stupid °•~City of Starlight~•° when shes supposed to be like a billion years old and a thousand times more powerful than him. I feel like itd be interesting to explore that but I know that we really dont from watching cari can read's summaries, so she just ends up being a character thats supposed to be interesting because shes so mysterious but is actually so shrouded in intrigue that it turns around and she just becomes boring again

Mor

When I first met her I said that something about her bothered me but I couldnt put my finger on what it was, but that I still kinda liked her because she atleast annoyed Rhysand. She really hasnt annoyed Rhys in any way since her and Feyres first meeting so I like her less because of that and also because shes mostly just boring to me at the moment. I think another reason why I dont particularly like her is that she feels so intrinsically tied to the misogyny of this world that just suddenly materialized in this book and its really annoying, I would like to avoid that subplot as much as possible. She basically just exists to give Feyre a female friend at the Night Court and to show her that you can totally girlboss your way out of a misogynistic system! But you cant dismantle the system because uhhhhhhhh. change is like a glacier because its slow

Also, shes obviously meant to parallel Ianthe, like shes supposed to be the better version of her, but I cant even imagine her and Feyre making out sloppy style toxic yuri edition so I cant really see her as any kind of improvement. sorry

Cassian

One of my least favourite character types is Fratbro But You Put Him In A Fantasy Setting so Im not the biggest fan of this guy ngl. The one redeeming quality he has is that hes very obviously crushing on all of his friends bisexual style, especially Rhys and Azriel. Its almost a little sad but mostly its just very funny. Like whyd you wanna take their clothes at the illyrian camps so badly huh? You like seeing pretty boys squirm around naked?

Unfortunately, I know that hes gonna end up with Nesta and that hes not even gonna treat her well, my guy is gonna go from being gay because he likes men to being gay because he hates women and I am not looking forward to it

Speaking of Nessian, a lot of sjm critical anti nessian people say that Nesta and Cassian used to be so good and so genuinely romantic in ACOWAR and that their relationship got completely ruined in ACOSF and. I mean, granted they dont ever talk about Cassian behaviour towards Nesta during the meeting at her house in ACOMAF but I hated the way he was just so angry at her on Feyre's behalf when she wasnt even that mad herself, she just felt weird and bad. Of course, I havent read ACOWAR yet and I might change my mind in the future but right now, I'll just say it doesnt surprise me that Cassian would laugh at Nesta falling down the stairs

Azriel

My favourite guy!!! Out of this bunch I mean. My favourite guy in the entire ACOTAR series is probably Lucien, but if we're just talking about the jokers from the Night Court, then this guy is my favorite

I really wasnt expecting much from him, I thought he would have absolutely no personality from what Ive heard other people say about him, but hes basically exactly what I want in an edgy traumatized shadow boi. Ive talked about this before but I really dislike Rhysand and part of that is that I normally really like the archetype of the tortured edgy love interest with shadow powers but he makes it so goddamn annoying by being so flirty and cocky I just want to see him dead. But Azriel is quiet so he doesnt bothr me and also theres some intrigue about his backstory and the extend of his powes but he feels like a solid enough character that he doesnt become boring to me like Amren

I will say though, theres something particularly uncomfortable about watching anyone from the inner circle interact with him and vice versa, I think its because he seems like he doesnt actually like them more than anything else. Ive said this in a previous post, I think Cassian wants to be in a relationship good friends with him and he seems to think they have some good sunshine guy/grumpy guy banter going on but to me it just seems like Azriel genuinely dislikes him. And then he obviously doesnt trust Amren and I feel like hes in love with Mor and has been for a really long time but doesnt actually like her, I honestly feel like hes just sticking by Rhysand because he feels like he owes him and because it gives him an excuse to be close to his crush

Yknow, that I think about it maybe thats why I like him so much. I dont like the Inner Circle, he doesnt like the Inner Circle, thats a relatable king right there

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #pro azriel #somehow #anti nessian #flames and darkness liveblog

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petrichoraline · 2 years ago

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Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

i did this some time ago but most answers are gonna be different so let's go!! thank youu, @fangirlmedstudentblog and @markpakin 💞

Three Ships

TinnGun - no surprises here, these two have become everyone's comfort couple so quickly

HiraKiyoi - again, not a shocker in the slightest, they are my insane comfort bfs

DaisyIntouch - in honour of opp's viral moment with The7's Get Loose i can't not mention the most gentle, sweetest couple in SCOY; i wish their arc was handled a bit better, it felt rushed by the end; they're amazing nonetheless

First Ever Ship

let's go with first bl ship (live action) which i beliiieeve is kenji and shiro from kinou nani tabeta? and if it's not them it might be junjae and takuya from the lover

Last Song

youtube

Last Movie

i procrastinated on this just so the answer would be worth it (cause i watched a mediocre french movie but mostly didn't pay attention and that didn't sound like a good answer); the movies i saw today instead of the indian movie im procrastinating on seeing:

She's Dating the Gangster (2014) - this philippino movie made me realise that netflix's "true love" category should've been called "heartbreak" but they renamed it so well

the intros and summaries truly suck because i thought i was going into a light "fake dating" romcom with a pair of cute silly teens as the leads! what i got instead was so sad and a tad bit melodramatic that at the end i didn't know how to feel.. i did cry though! i was hanging in there and yet it got me; it's a sweet movie, although it could be overwhelming, and i would recommend it! it's kind of my fave out of the three, i wasn't too sure how it was gonna end too; one really strong point is the sweet twist on the makeover trope that the movie doesn't even use to promote itself, it's kinda naturally in there and it made me so happy

Jumping From High Places (2022) - this italian romantic-but-more-about-self-growth movie about a young woman with anxiety was not technically confusing but it had me bored halfway through (again, the sample video thingy netflix shows had an energy that imo was not there throughout the film, i found it misleading); i'm just happy i picked up on smth that is probably supposed to be a surprising reveal hehe; i wouldn't not recommend it, i feel like it could be relatable and a sweet experience for some

Your Place or Mine (2023) - a typical hollywood movie, what can i say, it's been pushed onto me and i was kinda interested, gonna lie if i say the cast wasn't a part of the reason i caved in (i'm curious bout what kutcher and witherspoon are doing now, yeah);

i think it's kinda bland, it had some good sentiments but at the end i found the female lead too unlikeable and the story kind of stretched out and a bit rushed at the same time (maybe it was actually well paced and a proper length, just not my thing, that's possible. the gray overlay (?) was so depressing though, even her bright and green home felt awfully unwelcoming)

Currently Watching

literally only My School President lol everything else is in either "on-hold", "plan to watch" or "have to catch up on!!"

Currently Reading

oh how i want to say svsss vol.2 but i'm stuck once again, i mostly read long posts and student books, not even manga

Currently Consuming

"too much media at once in theory and not nearly as much in practice" is a valid answer, isn't it lol

Currently Craving

more convos w moots ig

i might be tagging people who have done it or don't like tag games, it's very hard to track these sometimes so sorry 🫶 @hello-n-goodbye @himbodelamain @soundgun @sillsif @jingyanwang @catwalkninja @catboyjosten @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @chinzhillababy

#the usual “do it if you want to and pls tag me” is valid ofc #dear tired med student i hope your exam goes great (or in case im too late - that its gone great 💕)#"There is no 'answer'… but Eleanor is the answer.” vi why you gotta do me like this i had forgotten #also reading evelyn? did you finish it already? i was thinking about it like 2 days ago i remember finding it boring at the beginning #and then finshing it pretty quickly haha

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chronically-enthusiastic · 1 year ago

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Sooo.... Below the read break is kinda my autism journey? Well masking journey probably. I did this both for myself, and for any other people out there who are looking for stories of other people and their experiences. And also a bit for the picrewcule bc ive posted some stuff about struggling with friendships recently and yeah..... :)

I was always the weird one in primary school... I was bullied in my first school, maybe a combination of autism and faith? But it led me to have to move schools... In my second primary school, people didnt bully me as overtly, but they would run away from me if I went near them and they called me unpleasant things. I was asked why I was weird quite a few times and my answer was that i had learnt how to interact in a normal way at my previous school, and now i am here and I dont know again... Which looking back was very self aware if me, but also very autistic of me....

I did find friends at that school, but they were so toxic and oftentimes mean that it would probably have been better for me to not have made friends at all....

Every time i went back after a half term, i would cry and plead with myself to just try to be normal. Theyll like me if im normal, they wont run away from me in the playground saying ive got the cheese touch. But each time I failed to make myself normal.

UNTIL!! i started high school. The mask fell into place in year 7. And it worked! No one was mean to me, infact I even found a few nice friends! But every time the mask dropped slightly accidentally i would feel so so bad inside, like i had done the worst thing ever and i had messed up forever.

Then year 8 came along. And masking all the time took its toll. I was crying every day needing to go to the library. I forgot what it was like to feel happy. I was so so tired and so so sad. I forgot who I was. Family friends were asking my parents if I was okay because i seemed so different and sad. And I would say im fine, because my life was fine. I had family who loved me, a school that I enjoyed, and friends who cared for me. I had no reason to be depressed.

Aannd then lock down happend. And that possibly maybe saved my life. I wasnt at that point yet, but I think I was on that trajectory. I found myself again in lockdown! Thats the short of it! Yay!

Then school started up again and i masked again, and i started going downhill again. Fast forward to yr11 when I was missing so many lessons because of anxiety/overstimulatiin.... And people noticed this time and I got therapy! Halfway through therapy me and my therapist seperately came to the conclusion that I was probably autistic. And everything made sense.

I started to lower the mask and almost immediately lots of my anxiety ceased. I started to learn who I was again, and I felt so much happier. And now? Im in a new school without anyone I know and ive dropped the mask almost entirely.

First weeks are always hard for me. I was expecting to need to miss almost every lesson this week and to be crying constantly. Ive gone to every lesson and this week has been about as bad as a normal week at my old school. I have support now.

Masking really took its toll and I am so glad Im in a position that I dont need to anymore. I dont want to end up back where i was in year 8, or yr 11. But it does mean its harder to find friends.... But as you have said, its better to have friends who know the real me and who like the real me than friends who like a mask.

#own post #autism #maksing #tw bullying #tw depression #tw suicide #actually autistic #autistic masking #personal post

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you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be · 2 years ago

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Ok so I finally read who’s afraid of Alexander J Newell bc… not a single person said what they were actually accused of. Not only is the article unreliable but even if it’s 100% true almost none of it is a big deal? Like no one has broken it down yet so I’ll do a small thing saying why it’s not legit and then explain the “issues” that the article actually talks about

Reasons it’s not accountable

1) the “journalist” does not have a degree of any kind

2) this is posted on a site that allows anyone without any verification or credentials to post. It is also seemingly the only place they’ve posted any news articles

3) they work with the competing company and repeatedly compare them

4) go between pounds and dollars throughout the article to skew numbers in their favor

5) they use the word allegedly every other sentence. You should k ow if it’s actual or alleged before starting a a smear campaign

6) (the biggest one imo) not a SINGLE rq source is named except by pseudonym. I don’t believe that dozens of people were willing to call out Harvey Winsting and Trump but that not a single person can talk about their job sucking in normal ways

7) state easily checkable misinformation like them paying minimum wage when they actually pay above that and the living wage (sad those aren’t the same thing but that’s neither here nor there)

8) the writer is 20 which is apparent if you read this and have ever had a job. At that age my brother quit a job bc his raise was less than a dollar amount within the first year, like all jobs. That was Taco Bell. Im not saying the journalist is on that level but think how much you knew about jobs at the time. I was convinced if I didn’t have the drink cart at the retail store done on time I would be fired instantly on the spot instead of nothing happening. I knew nothing. It’s about experience.

Now RQs alleged (their words not mine) crimes:

1) they pay minimum wage. Considering this started out as an unpaid venture between friends in a disco corridor of their house wouldn’t be bad. But also easily proven untrue

2) people joining were under the impression they wouldn’t have to follow the rules on their contract and that the rules were bendable and then they weren’t. It’s a contract guys.

The big issue with the contract is they want to make money back and ad revenue and such doesn’t make a lot. If they take 50% of everything (what they’re asking) and lent you $1000 it would take 62,500 downloads (most shows don’t break 20,000) for them to get their money back that they gave you if my math according to their own numbers is right. A real evil thing for them to do to pay you and your workers paychecks as well as a budget to make the thing you want and then dare to want to break even or heaven forbid profit.

3) you can’t leave a contract early. Again. It’s a contract. That’s how that works in an adult job. Also they’re mad they can later on use the product to advertise for themselves. Like “from the producers of” type of stuff and other general intellectual property stuff. Not great but if they’re paying to have it made it makes sense halfway through they don’t want you changing networks. You don’t start a show on Disney and end it on Netflix that’s just not how the world works. They bought the product, you don’t pay for someone to build a house and then Act like it’s reasonable they want to take it after.

4) that layoffs exist and happen sometimes? Unfortunate yes. Considering how normal that is and that half the article is about how bad RQ is at making money it should not be a surprise. When a company follows laws such as “pay workers” and doesn’t have the money to do it the solution is “have less workers” sorry to say.

5) that money from productions goes to services used to make those productions (acast)

6) that volunteers exist

7) they aren’t good at advertising their own shows

8) this is actually legitimately not great but again not horrible. They expect people to work 16-20 hours a week and they end up working a WHOLE 24 a week. This is in many places known as a part time job.

9) they think the show will pay more than it will but the Patreon doesn’t get enough and when it does they were still bad with ads so the projected amount was bad. They still get that living wage it’s just not the bonus they planned for. Everyone who works in retail or any job that involves making plan that you don’t account for bonus in your budget.

10) if you try to talk to management there’s a waitlist but if you try to talk to your projects team there’s no issue. Almost as if management runs 50+ projects and the project team only runs one 🤔

11) they’re hands off and let you do their thing. I’m not kidding this is a point in there that’s supposed to be bad

That’s about it. Like no it’s not a utopia or a fun thing where you do whatever and get free money. You can unfortunately tell it’s written by a 20 year old because they think a company ALLEGEDLY holding people to their contracts, paying minimum wage for a part time job, wanting to make money, and not knowing the exact amount of hours they’ll have for you or the amount of money a project will make for your bonus is worthy of writing an article about and being scandalized.

Before believing something check sources. If you don’t want to do that, at least read the article before deciding that somethings horrible and evil. There isn’t any dodged workers comp or wage theft or anything seriously upsetting. If the lack of any named sources or credentials or the fact it’s a competing network or the use of the word alleged 1000 times and the rewrites and misquotes other people have brought up don’t mean anything, then at worst this is all true and you might be asked to work a few extra fully paid hours a week and get paid minimum wage at a part time job and have to follow the rules you agreed to with little bonus. Oh no. I wonder what that’s like, what a nightmare.

#rusty quill #tma #who’s afraid of Alexander J Newell

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captainaikus · 2 years ago

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✨Chapter 2✨ part 1

IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS I CANT BELIEVE ITS ALMOST BEEN A WEEK IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AS SOON AS IT CAME OUT BUT LIFE GOT IN THE WAY BUT IM HERE NOW BELLE!!!

OH HO HO WE’RE STARTING WITH THE LETTER??? YESSS I COULDNT WAIT TO SEE WHAT SHE WROTE. *reads the first metaphor and starts sobbing* it’s a diary. ITS A DIARY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP THROUGH HER EYES IM SOBBING RN. I honestly love the idea that Oliver doesn’t have the best relationship with his family. Adds more spice yknow? WAIT WAIT WAIT. HES READING THIS??? THIS IS HIS POV??? ASDHJHHFJJFFHHHFFF THIS IS AMAZING. Also I love how hurtful the readers love is portrayed in the diary. Making him read your years worth of heartache gives a chance for him to reflect on his actions. Oliver having Viking ancestry??? That’s a yes from me!!!! Not him already unconsciously planning a date to take you to see the northern lights and only being able to imagine your face. BOY YOU ARE DOWN SO BAD. WAKE UP ALREADY. NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE DREAM RELATIONSHIP. BELLE LOVE PLS. You’re killing me rn *sobs*. That scene with her framing abt their future relationship and his hand hosting over here whilst giving him a back hug was written so well I can literally feel it happening adhkhdhkgfjhgf ugh. God reading the diary entries was so painful. I can practically hear the riding and falling octaves of hurt and desperation and hollowness and acceptance. *cries* BELES IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH YET HOW CAN I GO ON LIKE THIS???!!? *proceeds to keep reading* NO BUT HIM REALIZING HOW HES MORE THAN JUST A SCUMBAG IN SOMEONE EYES SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING RN BELLE. I really do this that he doesn’t view himself as highly as his ego on the field does. Aside from soccer, I feel like Oliver would have a few self worry issues. You’re making me think abt his character more and this isn’t even an analysts post asfkjgfggiij. I love how you’re exploring him as a person through his relationship with the reader. It’s really hard and tricky to develop a character using a relationship they have with someone else but you’ve done a fantastic job with it love!!! Oh timeskip?? I love your dialogue writing so much, you really make y/n have a personality and Oliver doesn’t just have the 2 traits of soccer and playboy. Uh oh not the mother call. You really know you’ve messed up royally bad of you get a video call from mom with the look. Rip Oliver you will forever be remembered in our memories. WE LOVE MOM IN THIS HOUSEHOLD FINALLY SOMEONE TALKING SOME SENSE INTO THIS MAN SERIOUSLY QUIT BEING AN ASS OLIVER I SAY THIS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR HEART. I love how the loneliness slowly creeps up on him in the little things tho. The extra groceries the empty bedroom the lack of the faucet running in the morning just ugh yes I love it all. I wanna bet that he hasn’t had a girl over or even thought abt having one over since she left cage she’s all he can think abt. I’m right aren’t I? Yup I was right. FINALLY. ITS ABT DANG TIME. NOW PRESS THE CALL BUTTON OLIVER OR SO HELP ME-. Noooooo not the voicemails. This is a risky so freaking sad to read. He’s hurting so bad but I’m still kinda mad at him so like ugh. THE GASP I LET OUT WHEN I READ THAT HES GETTING A TATTOO FOR YOU *SCREAMETHS* I’m still grinning like a crazy person asdjjfgjkhghh. Maybe not the best emotional decision while drunk Oli BUT THE SYMBOLISM THE SYMBOLIDM IS WHATS GOT ME GRINNING LIKE A FOOL. Belle you’ve got me loving all the angsty stuff *cries*. wait what. did. did I read that right???????? 6 years????? 6???? Six??????? ITS BEEN 6 YEARS SINCE THEYVE LAST SEEN EACH OTHER IM-. *wheezes and continues to furiously scroll* Oliver don’t you dare lie to yourself and say it was a drink regret we all know it wasn’t. The time skip was well place though. Unexpected but understandable. It was really needed and they’ve both grown separately which is what I was really hoping for. But see. Since the time skip was so early. I know there’s gonna be a LOT of drama upcoming. And I for one cannot wait!!! Sobs not him carrying your diary with him in his bag everywhere he goes like a lost wayward lover. That’s so mystical and romantic. Never through I’d use those two words to deserve Oliver of all people but your writing is just that good.

- ✨ anon

✨Chapter 2✨ part 2 Note: I cant believe it made me divide my ask into 2 parts tumblr do better smh That’s so mystical and romantic. Never through I’d use those two words to deserve Oliver of all people but your writing is just that good. CRIES KNOWING HE PROBABLY THOUGHT HE SAW A GLIMPSE OF YOU BUT IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE EVERY TIME AND HE WAS LEFT SO HEARTBROKEN AND SAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERY TIME. OOF. Big oof. 6 years and no women huh? You messed up big time bud. Thank your wife Belle that’s she’s kind enough to give you a (probably) happy ending with this fic (I hope). NOT HIM SLOWLY ADOPTING YOUR MANNERISMS AND HABITS AS THE YEARS WENT BY. Seriously you pulled out all the heartache stops for this chapter Belle. Prediction. Why do I think the chapters gonna end with them meeting again? Cries. Yes. Wallow in despair and mistakes Oliver. It’ll be much help in your character development. Oliver honey. You can’t do this to me. Pls I cant take the pathetic heartache. And the strangers wondering what’s got him looking so sad too??? Stan me now why don’t you? UGH BELLE THIS US SO FREAKING GOOD!!!! Shout out to Sendou for being a true friend. I wonder if his relationship will Oliver will be developed a little later on too? Maybe. No. No no no. Ohhhhhhh my God. NOOOOOOOOO IM SCREAMING RN BITING MY PILLOW I SO DID NOT THINK YOU WERE GONNA GO THIS ROUTE BUT I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I JUST ASFJHFGJFFHGDFGFFGGG SHES HERE ISNT SHE???? SHE WANTED TO SHIW THEIR DAUGHTER HER DADDY AND SEE HIM TOO UGH I AM BELLE YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. “Staring into the camera wondering if you were watching him” BOY SHES IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. Not me slowly losing my mind over this new development don’t mind me asdfjkgggjjj. Ohhhh okay so my prediction for her being in the stands and having their daughter watch the game intentionally was false BUT I MIGHT STILL BE RIGHT ABT THE CLIFFHANGER ENDING LETS SEE. Pshhhhhhhhh Oliver bring bad with kids is actually so hilarious to me. God having a daughter makes so much more sense now with the context of cutting off contact and the little details. You could have predicted but it was a very low chance you did that part so well girl!!!! ASTJFDHKIFFJKUFFGJJUFDFFFF NOT THE OLDER SISTER!!!!!!!???? WILL SHE LET THEM MEET OR NO??????!!!!! AHHHHH I CANT TAKE THIS. AND I WAS RIGHT ABT THE NANES BEING SIMILAR I DIDNT MENTION IT BUT I HAD AN INKLING. LIVI = OLIVIA = OLIVER????? Yessssss give me the parental relationship development and parent-child similarities. I literally speed read the rest of it cause oh my God I couldn’t stop myself. I loved this chapter so much. His resolve to win you back over??? FREAKING TOOK 6 YEARS AND A SECRET DAUGHTER BUT WE’RE FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!! Everything abt this chapter was amazing and I loved it so much seriously you did an amazing job with this!!!! The formatting and borders look fantastic btw!!! I cannot wait for the next chapter but pls pls pls ake your time and don’t overwork yourself sweetheart!!!! And again I’m sorry for the late response and lack of interactions. Life got busy and I’ve been occupied mentally with friendship stuff. Sighs. Anyways. IM GLAD TO BE BACK NOW THO!!!! I wanna catch up!!! How are you love? How’s break been? And uni? Are you feeling better? I hope you are!!! And that you get all the writing inspiration and kudos on ao3 (unfortunately I can’t spam the kudos button or I would have) and much interactions on your blog!!!! ALSO. Question. But would you prefer me writing the reviews for the chapters on your blog or in the comments section of the fic on ao3? *sending many virtual hugs* - ✨ anon

FINALLY. the much awaited reply - I really loved reading every min of this and now I'm gonna talk about every small detail of it so it's gonna be a long ask. So yeah lets dive right into it ! We did start off with her diary. And YES. the story is a dual perspective one so there is developments on Oliver's side as well. The idea of him having viking ancestry came from vinland saga for me as well as the study of vikings - most of them came from the nordic belt so there was a possibility of that and honestly... viking! Oliver? *fans face* Now the whole thing abt the back hug and that scene? That was out of a dream I had a couple of months back that I was talking to blue about. I just love the whole narrative where you're hating him and loving him at the same time ToT

And yes! so one of the issues with Oliver's character (i'm not sure if you're reading the manga or not -) but even as a football player, he does have more addition to his personality than his nature and looks; adults took away his future from him. He wanted to be a striker but because of his coach, he had to give up that dream and become a defender instead. Another thing I like is making (y/n) have a personality as well as strong dialogues. One of the issues with fanfic writing is that the reader is also a if not the main protagonist of the story. Some of the (y/n)s out there (and I'm not saying this to stir anything up) are too soft spoken or give in too easily. Some authors mention that the reader is stubborn either through description or dialogues but they don't show it or show the reader being too dependent on someone. And honestly, I'm glad you brought out the point that the way I characterize people has more to do with stuff that really counts as a personality including Oliver since he has just been restrained to football and being a playboy -smh. Since my stories have less of smut and more of plot, there has to be character development and since I like seeing people blossom, might as well do it with the characters right? and in this case, its to do with time. he does get lonely - and there's an explanation for that in the story. So the story about the tattoo... I was planning on getting an arm tattoo done for him. like a fawn over the shoulder and then adding stuff to it... but Oliver doesn't strike as the type to get tattoos. So he got one on the ankle and...yeah no I'm not giving spoilers for further chapters just yet. |>.<| Ik the time skip seems big... but yeah. 6 years - I can't believe I fell for Oliver, then again. he's practically the only sane one in there and maybe Bachira... or else everyone is either depressed or feral. not in between literally.

6 years and Oliver hasn't had women. And ofc my story has a happy ending! - 'hurt me and put me back together' is my motto atp I'm glad that you're enjoying the angst starry - cause that's where most of my character development is. And there's more drama in the next chapter. So... did no one notice that Oliver didn't pull out? *laughing* well... yes. we did have a daughter. Oliver is actually terrible with babies. I'm happy to hear that i pulled it off well T.T Well... chapter 3 is packing. I already have a title ready And its fine! honestly- its good to take a break from tumblr once in a while So here's my update - I managed to put on weight during my break. 3 kgs/ 7 pounds consistently working out at the gym and uni... is exhausting. but we're working and I also bought a lot of books during break (chainsawman as one of them) and another one that I'm really engrossed in atm, Anything is fine Starry!! I'm keeping tumblr active in case someone wants to tell me something anonymous or discussions for character development. and I saw your comment on my fic on ao3 - i wanna say that I really appreciate it cause that was one of the first comments that fic ever got and I'm happy about it (gonna respond to it soon as well) *sending bear hugs*

Starry his collarbones are catching me off guard -

#belle.☏#.moot🍦: ✨ anon

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olaumi · 9 months ago

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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

IM LOSING MY MINDDD, GRIPPING MY SHEETS, GOING FERAL AND IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH.

(You probably used that dress as you fucked someone else and that angers him, “Take it off. I want you without it.”) ARGGGH ARG ARF.. ahem. *rip clothes to shreds* I read this shamelessly on the train ride home and WHY DID I ACTUALLY KICK MY FEET AND GIGGLE apologies to the middle aged man coming home from work witnessing my weird behaviour. It’s saber’s fault 🫵🫵

“Fucking take all of me. Kill me if you must, just pretend you love me.” UHMMM WHATTTT, someone tell this man I’d give him everything he wants if he just looks at me, he doesn’t even have to ask!!

“Megumi picks up his pace and, when you look at his face again, you see he’s crying.” Yup yup yup, that explains itself, I’m over the moon, I’m fed for breakfast lunch and dinner wheew.

okay, I finished.. (I wish I wasn’t)

This..

This was so sweet yet left me aching as well.

I want to reread this for the first time, I think I’ll come back to this like every single day and hope that the feeling it invoked within me still remains. I want to quote this whole fic and just keep it locked in a special place in my heart, brain, pocket idk I just want it close to me. Maybe even printing it out and telling people they must read it to bring joy into their lives LMAO I’d probably do that tbh

Yeah.. I need help. I’m just so down bad for pretty boy obsessive and desperate megumiii <333 THIS WAS MY VALENTINE Y’ALL no longer sad that I don’t have one bc this cannot be topped.

KEEP IT ON THE LOW.

M. FUSHIGURO x fem reader

SUMMARY — Megumi is getting around to the fact that you aren’t settling down. Inspired by Creepin’ (Metro Boomin, The Weeknd, 21 Savage). Prequel.

WARNINGS — mdni, 18+ content, implied alcohol and drug consumption, smut, mutual masturbation, unprotected sex, pussydrunk megumi, creampie, toxic relationship, choso x reader mentioned, megumi is obsessed

WORDCOUNT — 1.8K

NOTE — hello, 3am here!! happy belated valentine’s day everyone <3 since it’s so late i couldn’t revise it, sorry :( but enjoy this bittersweet fic!!&$?

Megumi Fushiguro wasn’t expecting to spend Valentine’s Day alone.

Even though the date had never held a special meaning to him, after twenty-one years of letting the day pass by like a normal weekday, he expected this year’s to be a little different.

Fair mistake, he believes.

As he finishes his last joint, he checks his phone one last time; it’s ten past two and no messages from you.

A bitter smile grows on the boy’s lips, for he really doesn’t know what he was expecting — he hasn’t heard from you in two days, except when Itadori commented, with a sour expression, that he had caught you in his house making out with his brother Choso.

Megumi really doesn’t know what he expected.

He knew you. He knows you; always sleeping around, never getting serious with anyone. He shouldn’t get attached just because you’re friends and sleep together.

And yet…

Here he is, heartbroken. Cans of beer scattered all around his living room, high out of his mind, deprived of sleep as he waits for a text he knows won’t come.

His devotion to you has become irreparable. You had come into his life with a kind smile and beautiful words, destroying his barriers and forcing your presence into his routine.

After making Megumi depend on your body and get used to your presence, it was too late for him to escape his obsession once he realized you weren’t going to change for him.

His heart aches once again, but he isn’t sure he wants to forget you. Even if it hurts — even if it’s still Valentine’s Day, somehow, and you’re probably at a party or fucking someone else. He can’t fathom the idea of living without being with you somewhat.

He feels dizzy, the control over his body disappearing as he lays on the couch and closes his eyes. He wants to enter a dream world; a world where you are his.

“Megumi,” he snaps his eyes open and sees you right there, frowning.

You give him no time to second guess himself as you cup his face, your hands cold. Megumi feels his skin crawl and sits up, “Fuck, what time is it?”

He seems to forget you’re there for a second as he searches for his phone when you answer, “It’s four in the morning, ‘Gumi,” you step in front of him on the couch. “You texted me a couple hours ago asking me to come, I missed it but decided to take a chance and check if you were still up—”

You keep explaining about how you had found him passed out on the couch and waited for about half an hour, but his heart is racing as he thinks about why would you be awake at such an hour.

With that outfit.

He processes it slowly, his head pounding, the fact that you really were partying and decided to stop by on the way home.

Were you with someone?

Did things work out or not?

Is he supposed to be your second fling of the night?

His heart breaks once more, and he isn’t sure he wants to know.

But you could’ve hid it better.

“Babe,” he interrupts you.

When you stop your rambling, looking down at him with eyes glowing like they usually do, Megumi decides he doesn’t want to.

Keep me in the dark.

He tugs on your waist, pulling you to sit on his lap and you understand all of his signals perfectly; crashing your mouths together as your body weights on his.

It doesn’t matter. As long as you keep it from him, as long as you pretend he is your one and only, he’ll accept it.

He’ll pretend you love him back.

His tongue invades your mouth, the alcohol you’ve both ingested mixing together as he licks and devours you without a care in the world. He kisses you as if trying to consume you, sucking on your tongue and letting saliva drip on your chin.

It’s messy and nasty, but Megumi doesn’t care — he has you now, and he has to silence all the thoughts in his head.

“Fuck, Gumi, missed me that much?” you’re both out of breath when his mouth leaves yours, your hands quickly going to unzip his pants.

His gaze follows your movements, your question echoing in his mind as he lifts his hips so you can pull his pants and boxers down. Missed me that much?

Megumi wants to cry when you close your hand around his shaft, he wants to whine; missed you so much. Stay with me, only me. Keep me close, don’t ever leave. His lips quiver and he sighs when you spit on his tip and use your thumb to smear it before pumping his length slowly.

Pretend you love me the same way I love you.

The sounds he makes are answer enough for you, and you smile lovingly as you kiss him again, taking your time to explore his mouth this time. Megumi falls apart under your touch, whining softly into your mouth, thrusting his hips to meet your hand.

“Missed you too, babe. So much,” you say — and, to him, it almost sounds like it’s true.

He feels like he could believe you, especially when you’re taking so good care of him.

Reality sets in when he starts to lift your dress, wanting to make you feel good too, and remember just what you were doing. You probably used that dress as you fucked someone else and that angers him, “Take it off. I want you without it.”

You frown slightly, but do as he tells you, stopping your movements briefly to take the dress off and throw it somewhere in the room.

Megumi’s eyes glow with love and adoration, grateful for having you without that piece of clothing staining his thoughts, your naked torso now on full display for his lips to kiss and mark.

He pushes your panties to the side, sliding his fingers through your folds while attaching his lips to your collarbone, kissing the area softly, “Fuck, babe, so wet.”

You shiver, not complaining when his kisses turn into hickeys that will stay in your skin for days — he’s the only one you ever let mark you.

He never asks why, and you will never tell. But he’s grateful, nonetheless.

“Calm down, baby,” you giggle, giving attention to his throbbing erection again. “What’s with you today, hm?”

What’s with him today?

“Just… just feeling like I could die for you,” he confides, mouth still on your skin so he doesn’t have to face you, thumb hovering over your clit playfully.

“Fuck, Gumi, that’s why you’re my favorite.”

Megumi stiffens for a moment, his heart racing as he tries to think coherently while you’re jerking him off.

He doesn’t want to be your favorite, but the words are stuck in his throat and all he does is slide two fingers inside your pussy, savoring the whimper you let out.

You aren’t dumb; you are aware of his devotion to you. It makes you feel alive. It turns you on and messes with your head, you just don’t know how to love properly.

Swinging your hips on his fingers as he thrusts them in and out of you, you let your head fall back, his wet kisses on your chest making you shiver, “Megumi… need you inside, babe…”

He nods, always so pliant, removing his fingers from you. As you take your hand off his cock, he uses his own to smear your wetness on it before aligning himself to your entrance.

Megumi’s hold is tight on your waist as you start sinking onto him, his eyes searching for yours. He fights to keep them open, the familiar sensation of your warm pussy squeezing him tight making him crumble.

Fucking take all of me. Kill me if you must, just pretend you love me.

After bottoming out, he chokes, “Your only one.”

You stay there for a few moments, staring at each other as you feel stuffed with his length, eager for more. Megumi looks at you as if begging for mercy, and your walls contract unconsciously, making him whimper.

So you lie, “My only one,” because you know that’s what he wants, and his arm is soon wrapped around your waist to freely manipulate your body at his will.

His hips snap up roughly as he moves your body up and down, your mouth hanging open to moan freely as sweat droplets start to appear in both of your bodies.

You can feel all of him, filling you so good it almost hurts, your hands on his hair and shoulder, pulling and scratching as you try to focus on his concentrated expression.

Megumi’s free hand goes to your clit, massaging it messily and it makes you take a little control of your movements with a roll of your hips, which you know drives him insane.

His movements falter, his head now thrown back as he cries out, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” pulling your body closer to his.

His words make you feel even better and you roll your hips again, clenching your walls on purpose, your tits squeezed against his chest as you lick his neck. He moans loudly, shamelessly.

He’s out of his mind.

“I fucking love you.”

You feel your body trembling, your orgasm approaching and his grip on you tightens once again; he knows your body like no one else.

Megumi picks up his pace and, when you look at his face again, you see he’s crying.

That is enough to make you cum, smashing your lips together to moan into his mouth while gushing on his dick, drunk in pleasure as you cry, “Love you, love you, ‘Gumi.”

He’s unable to breathe for a moment, your words and the pleasure he was feeling building up too fast. He can barely process you kissing his teary cheek when his cum fills your pussy, the orgasm making him tremble and knocking him out of air.

You keep milking him until nothing comes out, his whole body shaking slightly, feeling oversensitive.

“Sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…” it’s the first thing he says when he can finally breathe normally, your hands back on his face as you analyze him up close.

“It’s okay, silly. I’m on the pill,” you smile, always so lovingly. “Besides… look how hot it is.”

Slowly, you get up to remove him from you; your juices mixed together dripping on his cock nastily.

Megumi feels his dick twitch, especially when he looks back at you and sees your eyes glowing. How can you be so dirty? he thinks.

But then he remembers, he doesn’t want to know.

#megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #jjk x reader #megumi<33 #𖦹olaislosinghermind𖦹

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misqnon · 7 months ago

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hi one piece anon back again. i shall call myself march so that next time i send in an ask i dont have to type out "i sent the asks about one piece" (too wordy. much easier to just write a name)

i so appreciate ur 2k words ,, i think u have successfully eliminated my anxiety abt talking too much !! ur very sweet 🥹 thank u /p!! electronic pen pals!!! that is so fun !! :D

i went back to watch wano after catching up (im like halfway through the arc) and genuinely the animation is so good!! (its also rly funny because they made zoro super sexy at every opportunity.. they upped his fanservice by a million. i love it. as a zoro fan.) its probably worth it to watch the anime for that part if ur interested?? although the pacing is still super slow so it might be better to read the manga first and THEN watch wano if ur still hyperfixated on one piece at that point. i went back to wano cuz i was feeling sad about being caught up and not having any more content to consume.

ive seen clips of the fights and they look so fantastic and cool and hype and AGH . i havent gotten to any big fights yet but its been a lot of fun seeing the characters all colored and .. moving. its also kind of sad to watch though cuz you can TELL some of the voice actors are really struggling. my love franky.. i love his voice acting but he sounds so rough in wano :((. his is probably the most obvious example but if u pay attention u can tell with most of the voice actors who've been doing the show for a long time.

i havent watched the live action because netflix sucks (i dont live with the account owner currently and i HAVE TO if i want to use netflix) but i have seen how many people have gotten into one piece bc of it, and i have seen a lot of clips. and i know people love it and its very highly regarded. (also i kinda love what they did with sanji (i miss his twirly eyebrows though 😭)) so i have a lot of respect for it despite never watching it myself!! im also so excited for "the one piece" bc even though i know next to nothing about it, if its adapting this wonderful universe full of lovable characters in a way that actually HELPS the manga rather than HURTS it.. well. how could i complain.

i DO think u got into one piece at a really good time!! ive heard a lot of "if you want to get into one piece, this is your last chance" and "now is the best time to start one piece" and i think theyre right. although hearing its your "last chance" is kind of anxiety inducing personally LOL. i think itll be really difficult to avoid spoilers after the series ends though so in that sense.. theyre probably correct. at the pace youre going i dont think one piece will end before you catch up. oda's on a 3 week break right now too so imo you have plenty of time!! i think wano is about 150 chapters and theres a LOT going on so it might take you a while, but this is the final SAGA not the final arc dont worry!! im picturing the straw hats visit at least 2 more islands after the current arc. although obviously im not oda so i have no idea if thats accurate LOL

i think no matter what im gonna feel like i have questions unanswered when one piece ends, just cuz i am so insanely invested in . the whole world of one piece. i want to know everything about everything. but i DO think oda will answer the big questions, and i agree that he probably wont just leave us wondering. the newest arc is already kind of answering a lot of questions (and... developing MORE mysteries LMAO)

i hope i didnt make you feel like its WRONG to like sanji bc it isnt!! just cuz i cant get behind him doesnt mean that i think people who like him are bad people or anything remotely like that. i mean. i love doflamingo. and hes an AWFUL person. i hate his guts... but i love him. hes such an interesting character and i want to dissect him and analyze him and . i love to think about him. and hes comforting in some weird way.

so u loving sanji is no issue!! i dont want u to feel like u have to defend urself (although i DO like hearing ur reasoning behind why you like him because its interesting, and it makes me think harder about how i feel about him).

also personally i dont see an issue with consuming media that is problematic in some ways. if the creator is a bad person i think its fine as long as ur not excusing their actions!! i would kind of rather not support oda because i dont like him as a person (which is a personal decision, im not gonna criticize people who support him financially), but i do LOVE one piece and yes. his biases DO affect the story.. but since i dislike oda i usually say "fuck the word of god" and do what i want with the characters. i think its a lot more fun that way!!

sanji is such a mess (affectionately) so i can definitely see the appeal!! half the reason i love one piece characters so much is bc theyre all so SILLY. so unbearably silly. they all have stupid moments, they all have funny moments, and i adore silly people. my dislike for sanji is, mostly, resentment borne out of my intense hatred for being pushed into a box by society. it is almost purely personal. like yes him being a pervert is disgusting and annoying and i hate it, but i think i would be able to ignore it if i didnt feel so personally attacked??? by him?? LOL. i think thats kind of silly tbh . i would usually be able to brush his pervertedness off as a flaw of oda's rather than something to blame sanji for. but since i already have some ... *intense* feelings towards him, the pervert thing just serves to fuel my anger.

but all of that is just My Personal Feelings about him!! i do love him in headcanon/fanon most of the time, and even if i hate him in canon i still also love him purely because hes a straw hat and i love and adore all of the straw hats. they feel like real people to me. and i am obsessed with them. i root for them at any chance and i believe they will find the one piece... if they werent the main characters and therefore guaranteed to find the one piece i would still believe in them 1000%!! <- big nerd thing to say .

also one thing i wanted to ask u about is if u noticed the parallels during whole cake island between sanji taking luffy food and the flashback of sanji taking sora food?? i LOVED that moment. he runs through the rain, has to try to keep a dog from eating the food, and when he finally gives it to the person its all soggy and wet and he apologizes. but they say its delicious. and they smile. i KNOW he was thinking of his mom at that moment with luffy. and i just... ugh.. sanji . sobbing . maybe u talked about rhis and i just missed it but I NEED to know that u saw it.. my favorite sanji lover

this is way more than 4000 characters so i have one upped you!! haha!! [triumphant] (lets hope it all fits in the ask box .. ive never written this long of an ask)

that works, very slay 👍 hi march!!

answering under cut as per usual

first of all i missed ur message bc it came in on april fools amongst all the boops 💀 i’m glad i happened to check my inbox jdnjvnvhv

you can call me mont! (or just misqnon, if you want) i am so glad my rambling eliminated ur anxiety bc i literally do not judge whatsoever and also clearly i am. Just as hyperfixated LMAO

WANO’S ANIMATION LOOKS SOOOO PRETTY…i wont lie ive watched a few clips bc i couldnt help myself. Im still in the middle of WCI but i want to get to wano sooo bad. And i probably will just read wano first (bc . time) but i ABSOLUTELY want to watch it at some point. And yes they 100% picked up on the zoro fanservice my god (i am ALSO a zoro fan. Sanji, robin, zoro, and franky are my fav strawhats and i love them all immensely) he is so goddamn buff in wano what the hell did they feed that guy…they beefed all the guys up in wano though it seems DSJNJKD

Speaking of wano zoro @ dykealloy made this. absolutely insane edit of Zoro, Mihawk, and Katakuri to the song CVNT by sophie hunter and it has a lot fo clips from wano that make me froth at the mouth (link here - be warned of explicit language, obv)

YEA THE VOICE ACTORS MANNN 😭 I prefer the dub bc i actually like everyone’s voices and its what im used to (except luffy, i do prefer sub for him) but i know the og voice actors are getting up there in age…Part of the reason i don’t like the sub as much is bc you can tell the VA’s are way older than the characters they’re voicing and it’s just a bit. Odd (as much as i love the VAs and obvi it’d be weird to change it at this point)

netflix does suck !!!! i was living with my bro at the time so i watched it on his account but yea i dont have access to watching it anymore either :( taz skylar my fucking beloved. The live action cast is all insane. Theyre so cute and funny every single one of them. If u have extra time u should watch all the funny cast videos they did on youtube where they play charades and do little prompts together. The clips of them interacting at cons and out doing promo for the show is usually pretty cute too. Opla wasnt perfect or necessary but it was fun as hell and u can tell the showrunners had a passion for the show.

I keep making progress in chunks so hopefully i can catch up within the next few months 🧍ive been so busy i havent been able to read in a while! (and also. Whole cake makes me a bit emo) even 2 more islands like ur suspecting would be a blessing. I mean. They still have to go to elbaph right?? And raftel/laughtale so. Thats already 2. Okay i feel better already lmao)

Im so curious about egghead im going insane but i will refrain. Somehow i havent seen any spoilers for it YET (aside from some stuff about bonney and kuma)

ALSO YOU DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE ITS WRONG TO LIKE SANJI LMAO you were super nice and didnt imply anything i just have catholic guilt about liking him. No one has even ever said something to me in that manner i just know he’s. Complicated. And also sometimes he Sucks. So i’ve thought about it a lot (clearly).

And coming off of that DUDE I LOVE DOFFY. I watch a lot of melonteee on youtube and even before i was anywhere near doffy they had me on the doflamingo train. He is so insane and weird and downright evil. i drew him one time 😶‍🌫️My last big fandom back in like 2014-2017 was JJBA and my favorite character as Dio and let me tell you. The similarities between their characters is insane (oda / araki crossover event when,)

The only difference is that doffy is written to be downright evil, while sanji is supposed to be seen in a good/humorous light even though his worst jokes are uh. Not great joke material (momoiro island and all of sanji’s weirdest pervert gags appears behind me). Thanks oda 👍i still get what ur saying though!

And tbh i dont blame you at all for disliking his (or any) character for personal reasons. Its really not that silly. Having recently discovered i might be kinda trans does not do his bits any favors lmao. And as an afab person who hates gender roles and sexism with a burning passion (and almost minored in WGS) BELIEVE ME the treatment of women in one piece pisses me off in a personal way all the damn time. But again, i blame oda for all this. Attacking oda with my hooves at all times every day at every chance

Looping back around to oda/problematic material ur very right. Maybe its bc i was raised on tumblr from age 12 through the worst of the Social Justice Discourse Era but i still get iffy about even consuming content that promotes gross shit in any capacity. I know im bending to the will of randos on the internet who dont even deserve my time or worry, but alas, thats my own problem. I do agree that to some extent i’ll say fuck it and enjoy stuff for my own enjoyment over being “woke” or whatever but there’s always a line to be drawn imo. But for op? Yea fuck it im finishing this damn historic manga if it kills me

I AGREE ABT FEELING LIKE THE STRAWHATS ARE REAL PPL…CALL ME SILLY. Part of it is the fact they’ve been around so long that half of them have existed for as long or longer as their actual canon age. Like. THEY’VE EARNED THAT HUMAN EXISTENCE AT THIS POINT RIGHT,

Nah but their characterization is pretty damn well done if youre one of the characters oda doesnt sideline coughrobinfrankychopperbrookcoughcough

And YES. YES I NOTICED THAT PARALLEL. I DIDNT SAY ANYTING BC I’D SEEN IT BEFORE ONLINE BUT I. WAS SO EMOTIONAL OVER IT. the fact that luffy is so special of a person to the whole crew that he can mirror people as important as their late mothers and just. augh,/. Fuck. they say the same line with that same smile….it’s just great storytelling. I dont like oda either but unfortunately he’s damn good at what he does most of the time. (am. Am i your favorite sanji lover. Is that me. Im so honored. he is such a mess but he is My Mess. Please tell me ur fav characters in the next ask (strawhat and otherwise!!))

Also damn u totally did one up me. Uhhh here since ur apparently a zoro lover pls take some of these drawings i did of him that i keep forgetting to finish/post in an attempt to one up ur one up)

#asks #replies #microphone effect #hey why is zoro so hard to draw btw </3 #i always tag these as asks and replies but i'll start tagging them as #march anon #too in case you ever need to see if i've replied!

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welldresseddraconianempress · 2 years ago

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These are some screen grab repaints that I did ages ago with some of my MHA OCs. I have stupid amounts of lore for the universe they reside in at this point, and an army of ocs. These idiots (affectionate, they are my OCs, and therefore my children) don't even really show up in the main fic I am slowly fleshing out. They're the next gen epilogue.

If you want to know more about their universe, feel free to ask.

#me and my nonsense at it again #fanfic #mha ocs #bnha ocs #so they are next gen ocs that despite me having 20 chapters of a fanfic written for their AU not a one of them is posted #i am a sad lil creature #no food for those who read my writing yet #the last fanfic I posted was in 2020 #mha #mha fanart #bnha fanart #bnha #lord help me #so many ideas so little time #so help me #i will write the fic or die trying #im not even halfway through #more like a third

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honey-milk-depresso · 3 years ago

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Could i possibly request headcanons of the first years flirting or trying to woo their crush? I would prefer male pronouns but u can make it gender neutral if u want ;D (also if u dont feel like writing for all five, im okay with just ace, jack and sebek 👍)

Heya!! Making this gender neutral, hope you don't mind!! ^^

TWST First years' attempts of flirting with you

spoilers, they're pathetic-

Ace Trappola

A lot more experience than all 4 in this headcanon,

but still elementary.

In all honesty, I don't even think he knows what he's doing-

Just because he had a girlfriend before, doesn't mean he knows his way around in terms of courting you with flirts.

He's the type where you can't even tell he's serious or not.

He can act all casual and teasingly about it, and they can be super cringe that you playfully smack his shoulder. But little did you know he was actually being serious about it,

and it kinda leaves mental bruises on him.

But then again, he's adamant on showing that he actually does love you, and flirts are just his miserable way of giving you hints.

The only way you can truly know he's serious about it is by the way he looks at you. His eyes.

He may be smirking lightheartedly at you, but his eyes hold a hue of anticipation and anxiousness. Waiting, hoping and begging you could pick up what he means.

Geez, Ace-

Just cup his face and kiss him already- <3

Deuce Spade

Hopeless-

He's just hopeless-

He has no idea how on earth he's ever gonna flirt with you.

Ace joked that the most effective way of getting you to like him is by flirting with you with cheesy pick up lines, and he actually took that to heart.

JDHJDJDJ DEUCE-

tho that's adorable-

SHIT-

Deuce searched up on the pick up lines, and he was cringing and blushing in embarrassment when he read each one of them.

Does he really have to say that to you?????

Well, unfortunately, he trusts Ace since he had a romantic partner before, so it might work right????

When Deuce tries to flirt, halfway through he'll mess up, or just immediately get embarrassed by saying such, and immediately dismisses it.

Though, at some point of time, he can say the smoothest things without realizing it for a long period of time.

If he dazes too long and gets lost in your eyes, and you ask him where is one place in the school or something, maybe Sam's Shop,

he can literally, without jittering, say, "I don't know, I'm just as lost when I look at your eyes."

And only when you leave with a red face cuz DAMN DEUCE-, he'll realize it and be like, "CRAP, DID I SAY THAT TO S/O??? GOD, NO, I'M SUCH A DUNCE-"

Please, you two... just- KISS ALREADY- <3

Jack Howl

He's also is pretty bad at flirting.

But he doesn't believe in flirting.

He feels that he wants to be straightforward in his words when he confesses to you, but he just isn't confident yet.

He doesn't want to hint to you, he wants to be direct with his feelings, and he wants them to come from his heart, genuinely.

Not from the internet, and not to keep you guessing.

Though, he already is since he's still deciding when to confess.

But if he did ever flirt though,

he... probably be super awkward at it.

With a straight face,

and he would be screaming internally-

Like-

Oh shit- wtf- did they even get that- I'm so screwed- DAMNIT-

Yeah-

He looks stoic, but his dying inside-

It's sad and hilarious at the same time-

Ace dying in a corner while seeing his whole failed flirting attempt unfold-

That lil shit-

But, once he gathers the courage, which is pretty soon, Jack would be a very genuine, straightforward and sweet in his confession. No doubt <3

Sebek Vigvolt

Absolutely the most HOPELESS-

OUT OF THE FOUR-

OH MY GOD-

HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ROMANCE IS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD-

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE CAN FLIRT????

When Lilia joked flirting would be great, he seriously took it to heart like Deuce did with Ace.

B R U H-

He does intense research about flirting,

and when he looks at them he is so embarrassed and confused you guys-

"What does it mean by "you're a fine print"?!"

Yeah-

completely clueless-

But when he actually understands some, which are the cheesy ones, he can't even SAY IT-

He just opens his mouth, hesitates, regrets, and goes to become a flustered and embarrassed.

As you can see,

absolutely hopeless-

Now, Lilia does eventually get serious and helps him to become more courageous in confessing to you.

So expect him to be very straightforward in his words, and I guess the only "pick up line" he is most confident to say is "I love you". <3

#twst #twisted wonderland #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #jack howl x reader #sebek vigvolt x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #ace trappola #deuce spade #jack howl #sebek vigvolt #twst headcanon #twst x reader headcanon #twisted wonderland headcanon #twisted wonderland x reader headcanon #twst fluff #twst x reader fluff

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sylvie-writes · 3 years ago

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Beautiful Just the Way You Are

word count: 1982

request:

warnings: talks of negative self-image. please don’t read if this will upset you!

a/n: this is part 5 of (undetermined) of me trying to finish requests that have been sent in ages ago. IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. it’s been hard to write but hopefully these will do. please ignore any mistakes, I typed this a bit fast and didn’t really check.

Chris

You and Chris were getting ready to go to one of his closest friend’s wedding.

This would be the first time you would meet each other so making a good first impression was a must.

Chris had gone to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners and you were currently scouring through the four dresses your sister-in-laws had lended you.

The wedding was a summer wedding and it was gonna be held on the beach.

As of recently, the heat had gotten worse each day meaning you didn’t want to be stuck in a dress that caused you to sweat like a runner after 12 miles.

Both of Chris’s sisters had noted this and unfortunately all four dresses before you were above the knee, something that made you uneasy.

It seemed that when you were going to meet people or attend public events, your insecurities crept up even more than usual and your mind would shove negative thoughts down your throat.

You were gorgeous, no doubt, but with such poisonous thoughts of yourself, you couldn't see any beauty as your reflection stared back from the mirror.

The first dress was a lacy yellow v-neck dress. It slightly flared out to the sides and it complimented your figure beautifully.

The second dress was a black bodycon, which made you want to scream. While to the average eye, your curves flourished under this dress, all you could see was a belly and hips that you wanted gone.

The third and fourth dresses were similar with thin spaghetti straps and flowy bottoms which reminded you of a bell.

Unbeknownst to you, Chris had come back sometimes in between trying on the second and third dress.

He peeked through the door, admiring how amazing you looked.

Chris kept thinking how lucky he was to have such a woman until he heard yells of anger that shook him from his daydream.

That was when you tried on the last dress and the final straw was gone.

Your anger turned into tears as you collapsed onto the food feeling nothing but pain and worthlessness.

In seconds, Chris was on the floor with you, wrapping his arms around your front where your arms were held up to your eyes.

He rocked you back and forth, shushing you gently.

“(y/n), honey, speak to me. Tell me what I can do to help you?”

Words were worthless at this point and all Chris could make out was “dress.”

He put two and two together and realized that you were upset with the way you looked.

For some time now, Chris knew this had been a problem, but he didn’t realize it would bubble up this badly.

He knew words of his compliments wouldn’t help at all because you’d just say that he was lying.

All he wanted was for you to see yourself through his point of view because you were like an angel.

“Hey, love, listen to me.”

Chris removed your hands from your eyes and looked at you in the mirror.

“You are stunning, always and forever. Your body does amazing things for you and for me.” He chuckled at the end causing you to laugh a bit, a sad smile on your face.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I would never lie to you. I made you that promise all those years ago and I will keep it forever, you understand me?”

You nodded just wanting to shrug this whole embarrassing experience off. You were never one to want people to see you like this because it felt like you were vying for attention when you weren’t.

“No, (y/n), I want you to say.”

Rolling your eyes, you replied, “Yes, I know, Chris.”

He smiled and kissed your temple, “There’s my girl. Now c’mon, let's keep this dress on and I’ll help you with your makeup.

Ransom

You and Ransom were at one of Harlan’s publishing parties.

The family was up to their usual shenanigans leaving you and Ransom to sip on one too many drinks to stay interested.

One Joni walked away after trying to sell you some of her face moisturizer that cost more than the largest bag of dog food, Ransom snuck up behind you and led you to the garden, away from the sight of any house guests.

“How about we sneak away and take a dip in the pool?” His eyebrows raised teasingly and it was hard to resist such an offer.

“But Ransom, I don’t have a swimsuit!” You motioned to your maxi dress that was too pretty to damage with chlorine.

You set your drink down on the cement bench and went to sit beside it before Ransom grabbed your hand and smirked.

“Fine by me, here, simple fix!”

In seconds, Ransom slipped off your dress, not even with a tear which was shocking from his usual animalistic movements.

This left you standing in your simple undergarments, yet feeling more naked than actually being so.

Ransom placed a kiss on your head before jumping into the pool in his boxers and nothing more.

He seemed ever so happy, waving his arms for you to jump in as he shook his now mop-like hair, now looking like a wet dog.

Instead, you were sitting quietly on the ledge of the pool, arms wrapped around your waist trying to cover every inch of your exposed body.

You felt so terrible like the sight Ransom would see would be so repulsive because that was exactly what you were thinking.

When Ransom noticed that you were frozen in your spot and zoned out on some dragonfly floating in the pool, he swam closer.

Ransom placed his hands on your thighs and looked up to see tears running down your nose and cheeks, dropping onto your lap.

At his touch, you involuntarily pushed him away and Ransom respected your space, floating back a bit.

“Angel, what’s wrong?”

“Ransom, I don’t want to be out here like this!”

You were on the verge of yelling, but instead kept your voice at a harsh whisper.

“Are you afraid someone will see us because (y/n) I can assure you they won’t. Plus, they’ve seen worse happen in this pool, trust me.” Ransom laughed, but you didn’t and he picked up on this, deciding to remain serious for the rest of the conversation.

“No it’s not that. I don’t want YOU to see me like this!”

The man swimming in front of you was in shock at such negative words coming from your mouth.

He looked at you as an absolute goddess and he often wondered why a beauty like you would stay with a mess like him.

Sure he was gorgeous on the outside, but you were both inside and out.

“You’re just saying that because you feel like you have to, Ransom.”

You huffed and looked the other way, not wanting to even glare at him.

Ransom laid his head on your lap in defeat.

“What do you want me to do? Worship you? Because I will! Oh (y/n), have mercy on me with your beauty! You are just so-”

At this point, Ransom was speaking as loud as possible and he knew he was getting on your nerves.

You playfully rolled your eyes, “OKAY OKAY. I BELIEVE YOU. Will you just hush now!?”

Ransom looked up with a devious glimmer in his eyes, before he pulled you into the pool and you squealed loudly.

“I think you are the one who should hush now, missy!”

Andy

Andy had just gotten off from work and you had just finished making a surprise dinner.

He was delighted at the sight of homemade chicken pot pie along with two bottles of old fashioned soda, a small tradition between the two of you.

You both settled down to watch a movie with your plates of chicken pot pie.

Andy had picked a movie that you’d never seen before and within five minutes your happy mood had morphed into insecurity.

Turning, you saw Andy intently watching the movie as the most perfect woman appeared on screen and the negativity sprawled from your mind, turning nothing into something.

While Andy just innocently enjoyed the movie, your inner saboteur told you that he was more so enjoying the sight of the gorgeous woman on screen.

After all he had been stuck with you, so you didn’t blame him.

Well he wasn’t actually stuck with you, but that's what you told yourself.

You told yourself that he just felt bad for you and that is why he stayed.

Andy noticed that halfway through the movie, you were uncharacteristically quiet and a sour pout on your face.

“Gosh, imagine looking like that! That would be a dream.” A bitter laugh ended your snide comment and Andy immediately shut off the tv.

“Why did you do that?!”

Andy just shook his head, “Because of what you said! (y/n), is there something you’d like to tell me?”

“All I said was that I wish I looked like her. What’s wrong with that?” You nonchalant shrugged and turned away from his hard stare.

“Honey, I can read you very well and I can tell that wasn’t just a joke.”

You were quiet and Andy continued to pry. He pulled you tight to his chest, murmuring whispers of praise causing you to break and cry quietly.

“See, even when you cry, you are pretty.”

Steve

The funny thing about insecurities is that it can turn someone into an absolute mess or monster.

In this instance it was both.

You and Steve were at a cafe, one that you had been visiting together for years now.

Today, it seemed that the cafe had hired new employees as at least four faces you didn’t recognize were waltzing around the kitchen.

It didn’t bother you until a complete beauty who introduced herself as Cara waited at your table.

At first it was like the green eyed monster had crawled out of you and you felt shameful all until gut intuition showed you that she was being a bit too friendly with Steve.

Little glances from across the room with flirty waves. At one point you swore that she winked at him.

Her tone would instantly change anytime she talked to you and that made your blood boil.

Steve noticed your change in attitude as a borderline scary scowl worked its way on your lips.

You were burning holes into the back of her head as you thought about how perfect the two would be together.

Steve tried to nudge your half of your sandwich to catch your attention as he was clueless to what was running through your head.

“Hey, doll. Why don’t you eat your sandwich? The flies are crazy and I can’t keep them away for long!” He swatted at the nagging flies, laughing at how the tiny creatures were defeating him, Captain America.

You didn’t hear any of what he said and instead mean words that never once came out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you go be with her. She’s so perfect for you anyway.”

You stood from the table and stormed out the door, the tiny bell above it mocking you.

Steve was utterly confused at this random outburst.

All he had mentioned was the sandwich, nothing about a girl, especially the waitress, whatever her name was.

Thinking back, Steve realized that she was flirting with him, but he was just so used to being friendly that he didn’t notice that he had put up such an illusion.

Especially one that hurt you.

The only word he was able to get out was “what” before he rushed out behind you.

He grabbed your arm and spun you to face him, not angry as he knew exactly how being insecure felt.

“(y/n), you are the only one who is perfect for me.”

You just fell into his arms, remembering that you were truly the only one for Steve.

#Steve Rogers #andy barber #Chris Evans #ransom drysdale #steve rogers x reader #andy barber x reader #chris evans x reader #ransom drysdale x reader

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t-lostinworlds · 4 years ago

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Not Going Anywhere (Tom Holland)

a/n: finally! lmao. gosh, i haven’t posted a fic in a while and im scared lol. also, i’m sorry for the lack of fics recently, i’ll try and be better with it. anyway, i’m not going to babble any more asdfghjkl hope you guys enjoy this one!

pairing: tom holland x actress!reader warnings: emotional scene, blood (fake), gun shots (kinda fake), character death (very fake lmao), lots of crying, and tom just being a wholesome boyfriend. word count: 7.5k+ requested:

first off, thank you angel! 💓 you’re too sweet omg 🥺 requests are a bit tricky for me ‘cause it depends if i get inspo or not but i did with this one haha so second, i’m so sorry this took soooo long. i hope i did it justice and that you like it love!

masterlist on bio & pinned post

-:-:-:-:-

It was the last scene of the day but neither you nor Tom were too keen on it. Both of you read the script, of course you knew this was a long time coming. This scene has been sitting in the back of your heads from the moment you both decided to take on the roles but still, it never really does prepare you mentally no matter how much you try.

Death scenes are always tricky to shoot, depending on what the undertone is. It can be a slightly easy one, the death of an enemy in which you'd channel relief, pride, a sense of accomplishment—maybe even in a sadistic, evil sense, happiness and joy. Or it can go around the hard route, the death of someone you love. There are so many ways you could go about it, so many emotions you can tap into. You can have regret, guilt, hurt, sadness, anger, fear, loss, and the list goes on.

It would've been easier to act it out with a regular colleague or a friend, easier to separate from reality and to snap out of it when they call cut. It'd be less daunting if that was the case. But when it's done with someone who you love off screen, a person who you can't ever imagine a world without, to get your mind to a place where you'd have to picture losing them, then it gets even trickier, much, much harder.

Couples don't usually do movies together that often, it can become unprofessional as some would say, but that wasn't the case with you and Tom. Both of you have been praised so many times with your individual works as you two can stand alone and carry a role with nothing but award winning performances. But whenever you two share a screen together, then it's an even bigger force to be reckoned with.

It's always a director's dream to work with you individually and as a pair. You were a match made in heaven off and on screen, the one-take-wonder duo. You two just bounce off each other so well no matter the roles you play, may it be enemies, acquaintances, lovers, past lovers, co-workers, and so on. You two share a look and it all clicks, then everything just falls into place.

You two get it done right away in the right way.

You love working with Tom, love seeing him do his thing in the flesh and you enjoy watching all the breathtaking and raw performance he gives. Plus, you get to spend time with your man, a gift with how conflicting your schedules can get sometimes. Not to mention, you get to do what you love together, a fun time on set as you make the most out of it while staying at the top of your game, be each other's cheerleader while maintaining proper professionalism.

But when it's heavy and emotional scenes like this upcoming one, you do find yourself wishing that it wasn't with him.

"How do I look? Still gorgeous I hope," Tom joked the moment you entered the set, posing over dramatically with one hand on his head, the other on his jutted out hip and a duck face to match, sporting his dirt—with specks of blood—covered and torn outfit. What he wore was a white shirt, black pants, black boots and a gray coat combo. While you on the other hand, wore dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, a gray zip up hoodie that was fully open and a black leather jacket over it.

On a normal day, his silliness would've made you roll your eyes with a laugh, but today, it didn't even manage to make you crack a smile. In fact, a frown made its way onto your lips at the sight of him all dirtied up, a purple bruise under his left eye, a couple gashes on his cheek and a cut on his bottom lip to complete his beat-up look.

"Stop trying to ruin my Zen," you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest with a pout on your lips. It was already dark inside your mind, emotions at the ready for when they call action. And seeing him be his dorky self, trying his best to make you laugh, just being the sweet boy who owns your heart, it wasn't at all helpful in a sense that with what's coming, it makes you think what life would be like if those adorable traits of his would become a memo—

"I'm not," Tom chuckled softly as he slowly made his way over to you. Once he reached a close proximity, his warm palm found its way to rest on your cheek. His touch was gentle, thumb caressing your skin comfortingly, a loving smile making its way onto his lip as he kept his gaze steady on your troubled face. "Just making sure you don't get too into your head, darling."

Tom's eyes held nothing but utter concern because he knows you like the back of his hand, knows how you work. With actors, it's always taxing mentally and emotionally when it comes to scenes like this, but with you, there's an added weight. Because, one, you always go that extra mile, to dig much deeper into your thoughts, to make your brain work harder at channeling emotions on command and in a quick switch. That's what made you known to be such an incredible actress, pure talent mixed with hard work of course.

And two, you were doing the scene with him, your real life lover. For you to see his face and watch him slowly wither away, Tom can't even stomach the thought of what you could possibly be feeling, what kind of thoughts were swimming inside your head. He can't even begin to imagine if it was the other way around. He absolutely admires your strength for holding it together because if it was him, he would've already been balling before he could even get out of his trailer.

With that said, Tom was worried to the bone. It always pains him to see the struggle you go through to get your mind there. He hates seeing you in a state that wasn't pure happiness, even if it was all acting.

"It's really hard not to," you whispered, flashing him a small smile as you leaned into his touch. Tom's heart broke at the soft shake in your voice, a sigh coming out of his lips as he moved closer to press it against your forehead. His strong arms found their way around your form to give you the warmest hug he can muster without getting all the dirt and the little bit of fake blood he had on him, on you.

"I know, angel, I know," he whispered against your skin, giving your waist a gentle and loving squeeze that made you close your eyes with a shaky breath.

Tom has had a fair share of tough, emotional scenes, of course he understood. Some of them were even done with you, though none were as tragic and heavy as to what lies ahead.

He knows how hard it is to not let those dark thoughts cloud most of your mind. He's been guilty of failing at it a couple of times. Some scenes just affected him in real life before he could stop it. Tom so badly didn't want you to experience the same. He doesn't want you to go far too deep for the sake of your mental state, especially with how much worse this scene is going to be compared to previous stuff you've done. But there's not much he can do other than to be there for you to help you get through it and to make sure to snap you out of it before it gets way out of hand.

"You two ready to go?" Jessica, the director, interrupted with a sympathetic smile. You unwillingly broke away from Tom's embrace to give her a small nod.

"Don't think I'll ever be ready but let's get this over and done with," you breathed out. She watched the two of you for a moment, the gloominess in the atmosphere too obvious for anyone to miss. It's always like that with emotional scenes, the set catered to help the actors be in the zone, but it's a lot heavier this time around. When it's a real life couple, the difference is huge.

With a soft, understanding smile, she reached over to you and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Two more minutes and then we start." Jessica nodded at the both of you curtly. You and Tom flashed her grateful smiles to which she gladly returned.

Once she walked away, Tom's gaze landed back on you, slight dread and concern glowing in his eyes but a reassuring grin played on his lips. He was trying his best to stay calm about it, even though he wasn't looking forward to it as well. He just didn't want to add more to your already worrying mind by looking too frantic with his concern.

"Come here and give me one last kiss."

"Don't say it like that," you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut as his choice of words weren't exactly the best.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, darling," Tom rushed once he realized how it sounded like, rubbing your arms comfortingly and giving it a gentle squeeze, silently urging you to look at him. Once you opened your eyes and met his gaze again, he tilted his head to the side with an adorable pout. "Can I have a kiss? Pwetty please?"

You shook your head at your man with a sigh, the corners of your lips lifting just a little as you met him halfway for a short but sweet, loving kiss.

"You've got this, okay?" he whispered once you pulled away, his breath hot against your lips as the tip of his nose nudged yours tenderly. You flashed him a small yet thankful smile, nodding in response before leaning close again to give him a quick peck.

"Places you two!" Jessica called out.

Tom's hands found yours, his fingers delicate as he lifted them up to his lips, a kiss on each of your knuckles and another reassuring squeeze before he lets you go.

You treaded your way towards your first marker, Tom's just a couple feet behind you. You looked over your shoulder in hopes to find his eyes before everything starts, a wash of relief coating your body once you saw that it was already set on you. You two shared a look, Tom flashing you one of his many charming grins—one that you adore so much—in reassurance, throwing in a thumbs up as he put his right foot forward. You did just the same, only breaking his gaze when you felt someone tap you on the shoulder.

You turned to one of the crew who handed you a Glock filled with blanks, a soft thanks escaping your lips followed by a deep intake of breath. You closed your eyes before exhaling slowly, clenching and unclenching your fist around the gun as you slowly slipped into character.

The two of you were undercover agents, partners turned recent lovers to be specific. The start of the scene was that you've just managed to get Tom out from his unfortunate capture, the abandoned warehouse where he was kept and you just escaped from, situated behind. You've managed to take out all the guys in the warehouse together but you have no idea if someone had called in backup so it was needed and safer to get as far away from the place as soon as possible. Hence why you two are going to be running from point A to B. But once you reach point B, then the scene happens.

"Ready and action!"

You took on a sprint, chest heaving as you kept looking back to make sure Tom was following. He was running just loosely behind you, a slight limp in his movements given that he isn't in the best of conditions due to the kidnapping.

"Come on!" You slowed down a little to wait for him, offering out a hand for him to take. He was so close to reaching it when his gaze shifted from your hand to somewhere behind you, eyes widening at the sight.

"Look out!" Tom exclaimed, hand quick to grab your outstretched one to pull you into his body. Both his arms wrapped around you tightly as he turned around in one swift motion so that your places were now switched. Then you heard five deafening gun shots, Tom's body jerking the same number of times before he slowly leaned forwards, his body getting heavier as his weight slowly rested more on you.

"No!" you shrieked, one hand wrapping around his torso as you lifted the other one hurriedly to aim your gun at the armed person behind him, pulling the trigger a couple of times to let loose of the blanks. You heard a thud next, an indication that the person has been taken care of.

Tom's whole body slumped, you struggling to hold his weight as he gradually slipped from your grasp, your heart beating rapidly against your chest when you felt something damp coat your fingers that were rested on his back. Your gaze landed on his face with wide eyes, calling out his character's name a few times as you tried your best to let him down on the pavement as gently as you can manage.

Tears welled up in your orbs, your throat closing up as you kneeled beside his body, anxiously checking to see what was wrong even though you already knew that everything was wrong. You took off your jacket hurriedly, bunching it up and placing it under his head for support. A sharp pain squeezed at your heart at the sight of him struggling to breathe, coughing out blood while he willed his eyes to stay open, his white shirt slowly turning crimson.

"No, no, no," you croaked, letting go of the gun to cup his face, fingers trembling as you tried to keep his head steady. Frantically, you reached into your pocket with your free, blood-covered, shaking hand, taking out the phone and hastily dialed zero to send out a distress signal.

Tom lets out a groan laced with pain as his eyes scanned your face, muttering out your character's name to get your attention, voice barely audible.

"Yeah, I'm here, I'm right here," you whispered as you met his brown orbs, a soft smile on your lips as you dropped the phone so you can tend to him with both hands. You brushed away the hair that managed to stick on his sweat-littered forehead, his blood from your hand tainting his crown, not the best of sights to see.

Tom's eyes started to gloss up as he kept letting out ragged breaths. You let out a broken sob as the heartrending sound filled up your ears, squeezing agonizingly at each vein in your heart. "S-Stay with me, please," you stammered, his skin turning a bit colder against your warm palm, your breathing turning shallow as you struggled to keep your own self together.

"Help! Please help!" you wailed, looking around the empty place frantically before your gaze landed back on the man in your arms, life slowly slipping from his grasp. "You're going to be okay," you repeated over and over, unsure if the words were said to reassure him or yourself.

The feeling of your jeans getting wet at the knees from the blood that pooled on the ground made you let out a broken cry of despair, eyes scanning his body for only a moment, the sight of red making you want to hurl. And you were too scared to look away from his eyes for far too long, scared that things will take a drastic turn in a split second.

Slowly, weakly, Tom lifted a hand up to cup your damp cheek, thumb caressing your skin as a small, tired smile made its way onto his lips. This made you cry even harder, your nimble fingers curling around his wrist, turning your head slightly for a second to give his palm a warm kiss.

"R-Remember when I-I said I'd t-take a bullet for y-you?" he sputtered, though the smile on his lips was still there, charming as always, his thumb capturing the tear that escaped your eye before it could have the chance to land on your skin.

You bit your bottom lip to suppress a whimper, shaking your head at his ability to make light of the situation. You let out a shaky breath. "I do, I remember. To prove how much I mean to you even when it's not necessary."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, running his thumb over your cheek, a few tears escaping his eyes as he scanned your gorgeous face distorted in utter distress, as he stared at the pain that glowed inside your beautiful orbs.

"N-No, there's nothing to apologize," you breathed out, your thumb grazing the apples of his cheeks as you stared right into those brown eyes you've grown to adore and more. "You saved me," you sobbed, flashing him a small smile laced with gratitude. "You saved me."

Tom nodded slowly with a hum, eyes staring right back at yours with the utmost adoration coating them, although in a few short seconds, it was quick to be replaced by worry. "You n-need to g-go," he hissed in pain, his hand grabbing your wrist to try and pry you away from him. It still wasn't safe to stay and he wanted nothing more than for you to be as far from harm, well and alive.

"No! I'm not leaving you here," you protested, a sob tied at the end of your sentence as you took his hand and placed it back on your cheek. And he held it there, channeling all the strength he had left for him to feel your skin for a couple moments more. "Help is on the way just, s-stay with me," you croaked.

Tom's breathing started to turn labored, his head falling back gradually as there was not much strength left for him to keep it still. "Hey! h-hey, look at me," you rushed, command in your tone as you went to hold his face with both hands, keeping his head steady only to see that his eyes were slowly fluttering close. "Keep those eyes open! Keep those eyes open," you said through gritted teeth, your man listening to your voice that was filled with desperation as he met your gaze again.

"P-Promise me—" Tom interrupted himself with a cough of blood, letting out a soft groan before his eyes were back on yours. "Promise me, y-you'll find h-happiness."

"N-no, don't say that, you're going to be okay." You shook your head desperately with a whimper.

"Promise me," he repeated, voice firmer this time.

Your bottom lip trembled. "I promise, just h-hold on, p-please," you choked. "Somebody! Please h-help! Please!" you yelled at the top of your lungs, urgently looking towards nothing, a sob following suit as your voice broke, hope slowly leaving you.

"H-hey, sweetheart, l-look at me," Tom called out as he tapped your cheek weakly. A whimper escaped your lips as you met his gaze once again, the emotion that shined in them so clear as day. He knows that it was time, and the certain look he was giving you made you understood. Although, you still shook your head in pure denial, muttering protests after protests under your breath as you gave his hand that rested on your cheek a tight squeeze while you kept the other steady on his face, horrified to let go even for a split second for he might be gone when you do.

"I love you," Tom breathed out, voice soft but the truth loud and clear. It was the first time he had uttered those three words, and you so wished it was done in a much, much more different circumstance. You leaned down to swiftly capture his lips in a bitter-sweet kiss, a sigh coming out of him only to be mirrored by a soft cry from you.

"I love you too, oh so much," you whispered to no one but him and him only, pulling away to meet his eyes, a certain glow now coating them at the sound of those lovely words filling up his ears. A satisfied smile made its way onto Tom's lips, his eyes locked with yours, glowing with utmost love.

But as Tom took in one deep, sharp breath, you held yours, only letting it out in a form of an excruciating sob once he completely stilled in your arms. His hand slowly slipped away from your face until it fell limp on his side, his chest laying flat, no more sign of any movement.

"No, no, no," you cried, tapping his cheek to get him to move again but to no avail. You shook your head frantically, your tears blurring your vision some more, heart in your throat as the droplets coated his face at a faster pace. "No! P-Please!" you screamed, cupping his face with trembling hands, letting go for a moment to hold his shoulder, shaking him harder in utter anguish. "C-Come back! P-Please! Come back to m-me." Your fingers found its way back to rest on his cheeks as you choked in short breaths, his eyes wide open but already dimmed, those bright, brown beautiful eyes somewhat turned gray.

"Don't leave me please," You croaked out, voice now hoarse from all the crying you've done. "I can't live without you. Please, come back to me," you whispered one last time, taking a few seconds more to stare at his face, looking at him as a flicker of hope coated your eyes for a split second before it completely died out. You dropped your head onto his chest and let out deep, broken sobs, choking in sharp breaths in between each sound that only made things more heart wrenching to hear.

It was so hard for Tom to keep his own tears at bay, a stinging, horrible feeling gripping at his chest as you cried your heart out. To watch the absolute hurt across your beautiful features, the desperation on trying to "bring him back" was too much of a painful sight to see. If he had a choice he would've opted on closing his eyes, but Jessica had specific instructions to keep them open, to make it more realistic, more effective in a sense that it would pull at the viewer's heartstrings a bit more.

But my God it was so hard to watch you be in so much pain and lay completely still, the heartbreaking sound of your sobs, the way you begged, it was absolute torture, especially when he can't do anything about it just yet. And the way your touch was frantic, desperate, it was hurting his heart harshly, agonizingly and he so badly wanted it to end because he can't take any more of just watching you go through so much pain. But most especially, he wanted it to end for your sake.

At the sound of your own cries, lungs burning with your head pounding, ears ringing, chest too tight and filled with utmost pain, you didn't even notice Jessica call out cut. The moment you knew it was all done was when you felt strong arms wrapping around your form that was still shaking with sobs.

"Hey, hey it's okay, it's over darling," Tom rushed as he sat up quickly, prying you away gently so you could meet his eyes. It broke his heart to pieces when he saw the hurt that still coated your orbs, though he was glad to see the relief slowly seeping back in once you blinked away the tears. You finally snapped out of it once you were able to take a good look at him, your bottom lip trembling as you tilted your head to the side, as if to examine if he was actually real. "I'm okay, see?" Tom hummed, voice gentle as he took both your hands and placed one on each of his cheeks, his skin warm against your touch. "I'm here my love."

All you could do was nod with a breath of relief, body falling forwards so you could sink into his arms, not a care in the world about the fake blood that drenched him. You just needed to be close to him.

Tom sighed as he pulled you tighter in his embrace, pressing his warm lip against your crown in the process. "Breath my darling angel, it's over," he murmured, followed by sweet nothings as his hand ran up and down your back comfortingly, your breathing slowly growing calmer at the tender sound of his voice.

You stayed like that on the ground for a minute, Tom only pulling away slightly when he heard footsteps approaching. "Do we need another take?" he asked dreadfully as he saw Jessica make her way over. He desperately didn't want you to go through that all again but it was out of his control. And if another take was needed, he's going to have to ask for an hour break, for your sake.

You lifted your head up just in time to see Jessica shake her head no, gesturing towards the both of you as satisfaction coated her face. "It's already the best for me. I mean, they call you two the one-take-wonder duo for a reason. And I've got tears in the crews' eyes to further prove my point." With a knowing look, she added, "But you two can watch it back if you like."

Tom turned to you, hand going up to wipe the couple more tears that littered your skin, touch sweet and reassuring. "Do you want to?" he asked softly.

You gave out a small nod. "Yeah, maybe I can do things better," you sniffled.

Tom scoffed loudly at that, gawking at you with wide eyes, taking full offence of your own words for you. "Are you kidding me? That was already amazing," he stressed. "Quit being so overly critical of yourself, darling," he added, taking both your hands in his comfortingly.

"Thank you bubba," you whispered, looking at him with an adorable pout, eyes glowing with the utmost gratitude that Tom felt his heart melt ten times over, especially with the nickname.

He flashed you a bright smile. "Now, let's get you off this wet floor." And that he did as he helped you up, pulling you in for another warm hug once you've got your feet under you.

Crew members quickly crowded you both as they helped you out of the now wet hoodie and coat, giving you each some water and two big, black warm jackets to compensate for the cold. You and Tom then made your way over to the director's chair right after.

You now stood beside Tom in front of the monitor as they started to play the clip back. Both your arms were fully wrapped around him, cheek pressed up against his chest as he slung his arm over your shoulder. His heart was turning soft at how adorable you were being, although he felt a sense of worry as well, since it seemed like you were scared to be too far away from him.

Even when they were fussing around the two of you, he saw how you kept giving him a glance, like you were scared to let him out of your sight. And once they were done, you were quick to grab his hand, as if you didn't want to feel the absence of his touch for far too long. So, he made sure to keep you as close as he can, giving you random kisses and squeezes in comfort from time to time, to reassure your mind that he was, in fact, here.

"Whew, look at you go," Tom praised, staring in pure awe at the monitor as he rewatched your performance, giving your arm a loving squeeze with a kiss on the forehead to match. "You make me look so talentless, love."

"Shut up," you said in pure disagreement given that his performance was breathtaking just as always. He did make things more real, made it hurt even more the way he portrayed dying so well. Your own performance improved because of his. As said in the beginning, you two just bounce off each other so well.

You peeked at the monitor for only short moments as you can't bear to watch it back fully, snuggling into him every once in a while with your eyes fluttering close. Tom was quick to notice this, giving you another peck on the forehead to remind you that it was okay, that things were alright. You hummed at his sweet gesture, squeezing his torso lovingly in return.

"Damn," Tom gushed once the clip ended, wiping away the stray tear that slipped with the back of his hand before turning to you with nothing but utter pride in his eyes. "And the Oscar goes to..."

"Stop," you whined, burying your face on his chest shyly, prompting a hearty chuckle from him.

"One-take-wonder duo I tell you," Jessica admired, giving you both claps on the back before she lifted up her megaphone. "That's a wrap everyone!"

Loud cheers and applause filled the air, Tom giving you a tight, warm hug as you both slowly relaxed in each other's embrace, glad that the day was almost over. You then made your way to where your teams were sat. Both of you were quick to notice how most of them were smiling proudly at the two of you with a bit of shine in their eyes.

"Harry," Tom gasped as soon as his brother came into view, Harry's face red with a faint sniffle coming out of him. "Were you crying?"

"No," the young lad grumbled, turning away in hopes to hide the way he wiped his face but still failing miserably.

"Oh Harry come here," Tom lets go of you for a moment to tackle his brother in a bear hug, making smooching noises as the older sibling tried to give the other a kiss on the cheek, Harry squirming like his life depended on it. You couldn't help the soft laugh from escaping your lips at the sight of the two boys, Tom's head perking up at the sound, a bit of relief coating his features as he tilted his head at you with a smile of his own.

"Get off you div," Harry groaned, pushing Tom away playfully, the older lad laughing before pulling away from him. "It's not my fault you two made it look so real. I genuinely thought Tom died for a second."

"Aw, thanks bro—"

"Correction, Y/N made it so real. The moment you started crying," Harry paused, blowing out his cheeks with a shake of his head, turning to you with both hands up in surrender. "I went."

"Thank you Harry." You shot the young lad a tired but grateful smile, giving him a quick but lovely hug.

"I'll let that pass for now because I do agree," Tom said, shooting his brother a playful glare before he made his way back to you, arms taking home around your waist as he looked at you adoringly. "You were incredible my love."

You smiled at him, leaning closer so you could give him a sweet kiss, just to show more of your gratitude. Tom hummed in pure satisfaction against your lips, giving your waist a tender squeeze before pulling away.

"Let's wrap up the day shall we?"

With that, the two of you made your way over to the wardrobe trailers to get out of the dirty work clothes and into comfier ones. Once out of the trailer, you now wore a pair of black leggings and Tom's pink hoodie to which he insisted on letting you wear over your tank top, given that it was starting to get colder out. He, on the other hand, wore his black sweatpants and a tight maroon t-shirt, handsome as ever but the make up on his face—the bruises, cuts, fake blood—were a bit of a distraction, feeding more thoughts to your still troubled mind.

"Come here, love." Tom beckoned you over once he noticed how you stared at him with a certain look in your eyes and a matching frown. His warm hands found yours, pulling you closer to him so he can give you loving kisses all over your face, all sloppy, loud and sweet. He only stopped when he was satisfied with the little giggles that escaped your lips. "Stop thinking too much, darling."

You flashed him a smile, nodding to say that you understood. "Are you not cold?" you asked in concern, slight guilt swimming in your orbs given that you somewhat stole his hoodie. Tom chuckled with a shake of his head, slinging his arm over your shoulder to pull you closer to his side as you then made your way to the make-up trailers.

"As long you're here beside me? My human heater? Never."

***

It was finally time to get back to the hotel.

You and Tom sat at the very back of the van, your head rested on his shoulder while his head rested atop of yours. You've been nothing but silent the whole ride, Tom not pestering you much because he knows you were drained to the bone. He just gave you occasional squeezes on the thigh, his fingers sometimes drumming some random beat just to distract you a little for what was going on inside your mind.

The moment your shared hotel room door closed, lock clicking in the process, Tom dropped your bags on the floor with the loudest sigh of relief.

"Shower together?" Tom offered with a wriggle of his brows, jokingly of course as there was no malice in his intent. You both were too tired for it, a simple shower would suffice.

A sweet smile made its way onto your lips as you nodded, taking up on his offer.

Tom moved over to you to give you a short kiss, mumbling a 'wait here' against your lips before pulling away and disappearing into the bathroom. He came back out not long after sporting nothing but his black boxers, beckoning you over with an open palm to which you gladly took. Hot steam met your skin as you stepped inside the en suite, Tom stopping by the sink as he turned to face you.

"Arms up," he said, your brows furrowing in confusion but you did as told anyway. Once you have both hands in the air, Tom took hold of the hem of your—his—hoodie and lifted it up your body, a pout making its way onto your lips once it was off. He gave your jutted out lip a peck, chuckling at the slight confusion on your face before he went to take your tank top off next.

"I'm not a baby anymore Tom. And I didn't lose any limbs," you pointed out with a soft giggle, top-half now naked in front of him

"Says who? As far as I know, you're still my baby." He shrugged, hooking his fingers on the hem of your leggings and pulling them down—along with your underwear—until he was squatted on the floor. He tapped your thigh lightly, silently telling you to lift each leg up one by one so he can take off the fabric fully. Now, you were left completely bare for him. You looked down at your man and shot him a pointed look, Tom meeting your gaze through his eyelashes as he lets out a sweet chuckle.

"Just let me take care of you love, you've had a long day," he hummed, giving each of your thighs a chaste kiss before he stood back up to his full height. He just wanted to let other things occupy your mind instead, didn't want you to sit too long and think about the scene you just did. Plus, he really did want to just take care of you, to show you the utmost love and affection as you deserve nothing but all and more, especially after today.

Another sweet kiss landed on your lips before he got rid of his boxers next, taking your hand soon after as he guided you inside the glass shower box, pulling you right under the hot water. And take care of you was exactly what he did as he helped you wash up as well. You've told him a couple of times how he was being a bit much, especially when he stole the loofa off your hands to do it himself, shampooed and conditioned your hair. But he simply repeated the same thing over and over:

"Just let me take care of you."

A few more giggles and chuckles with a couple sprinkles of making-out later, you two got out of the shower and dried up. Then after that, Tom gave you one of his shirts to wear—paired with only your panties—and helped you blow dry your hair so you could take a quick nap, an easy breezy task for him since it was not the first time. He's done it before on various occasions.

Once you were soundlessly asleep—after a few more kisses from him as he tucked you in because yes, your boyfriend is extra—Tom took it upon himself to order in some food, that way you'd have something to eat when you wake up, knowing that you probably wouldn't want to go anywhere to have a meal. He sent Harry a text in the process saying that the two of you would be staying in for the night in case the team wanted to go out for dinner.

In his gray sweats and white t-shirt, Tom sat down on the couch right by the window near your side of the bed, pulling out his computer to get a bit of work done while he waits. He didn't want to risk waking you up by slipping in beside you, didn't want to disturb your blissful sleep.

He kept giving you glances from time to time, just to check up on you, his heart growing bigger whenever he does so. Warmth just spreads across his chest each time he sees your beautiful face with nothing but slumber and peace coating your features.

The food arrived about thirty minutes later, Tom setting his laptop down to open the door, room service strolling in with fresh and hot food. He closed the door after he tipped the guy generously, walking over to the table to take some chips off the plate, humming at the wonderful taste.

Opting on letting you sleep for a couple minutes more, Tom went back over to the couch. But just as he was about to sit back down, he heard you let out a troubled groan in your sleep. Surely enough when his gaze landed on you, your face was now contorted in pure distress, brows knitted together as you shifted on the bed, one hand desperately clinging on the pillow while the other on the white sheets.

"Tom!" you yelped and bolted straight up, eyes frantic and chest heaving as you looked around the room for him.

"Hey! Hey." Tom was by your side in an instant, the bed dipping as he sat down, his hands cupping your face gently to make you look at him straight in the eyes. "Darling, hi, I'm here," he whispered with a sweet smile, heart aching at the sight of fear and the fresh sets of tears that now coated your eyes.

Your bottom lip trembled as you stared at him for a couple seconds, moving closer towards him so you could bury yourself in his arms. "I'm sorry," you mumbled against his chest, both your arms wrapping around his torso as you let out uneven, shaky breaths.

"Nothing to apologise for angel. It was just a nightmare," he murmured, rubbing your back sweetly as he swayed you side to side. "It's okay, you're okay." He held you like that for as long as you needed, whispering sweet nothings into your ear in hopes that it'll help you calm down. Tom only loosened his hold around when you softly pulled away, breathing now calmer, sniffling close to none.

"Want to watch a movie while we eat? The chips are really good," he said, both hands now holding your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks tenderly as he wiped away the little tears that sat on your skin. "Spider-Man: Far From Home so we can nitpick and criticize my performance together?" he added jokingly, earning a soft giggle from you as you nodded.

With half of the food gone, you were well into fifteen minutes of the movie. There were a couple of pauses done of course. Now you were snuggled up cozily beside him, your head on his chest as he rested his back against the stacked pillows. He had one arm over your shoulder to keep you close, fingers grazing up and down your arm soothingly while his eyes were set on the screen in front, his warmth comforting you in more ways than one.

The whole pole sequence in Venice was when he felt you start to shift in his arms, a shaky breath coming out of you when you saw him hit that wall as he got drenched in water. And then you spoke,

"Tom, what if—"

"Stop it right now and don't even finish your sentence," he scolded, already knowing where you were going with this. You pulled away from his embrace and sat up straighter just so you could have a full look at him, a deep frown already on your lips.

"You do your own stunts," was all that you said, but Tom already knew what you meant by it, didn't need you to explain further.

With a sigh, he sat up as well, touch tender as he ran it up and down your arms. "Darling, I am being careful with the stunts, you know that. And when it's something too dangerous, you also know that I refuse to do it," he said. "Plus, you're right there to stop me when I'm pushing myself too hard. You're looking out for me too, my love."

Even though you gave him a nod, Tom saw how that still didn't ease your mind, saw it clear in your eyes. He couldn't blame you either knowing how that scene made you think the worse of thoughts. He understood you completely, knowing that if the roles were switched, he would be behaving just the same if not much worse with how overprotective he is of you. He'd probably wrap you in a bubble to be honest, to make sure you're as far away from harm as possible and that nothing was going to happen to you.

"Come here," he hummed, taking your hands and pulling you close until you were straddling his lap, giving your fingers warm kisses before he placed them, flat against his cheeks. Tom's warm palms found their way under his shirt that you wore, settling his hands right on your waist, his thumb running over the swell of your belly fondly, skin touching skin, makes you feel much closer to him.

Tom gaped up at you with nothing but absolute love in his eyes, a glow that's made your heart grow warmer, a look that's added more sincerity to his words. "Nothing's going to happen to me okay? You're going to be stuck with this very handsome face for a long, long time."

You giggled at that, dipping your head so you could capture his lips in a kiss filled with the rawest of emotions from gratitude, happiness, adoration, passion, love. Tom didn't need words for him to know that you were thankful for him, that you were so happy to have him in your life, he can already feel it. Your actions will always speak louder volumes, justifying all the emotions you needed to get across that simple words never could.

With a satisfied groan, Tom pulled you even closer, his hands snaking up your bare back, your shirt hiking up at his action. He felt up your warm skin deliberately, touch driven with passion as he nibbled on your bottom lip, wanting to taste more of you. You happily obliged with a soft moan, your fingers treading through his slightly damp curls as you welcomed him in. And Tom made his presence known through his touch, to remind you that he is here with you, that he will always be here, and that he is—

"Not going anywhere."

-:-:-:-:-

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cquackity · 2 years ago

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FAMICO OH MY GODDDDD THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!!!!!!! famico my everything <33333 ngl i dont remember the whole ost but was muddy the burying one boss battle theme????? bc burying one is my FAVORITE im so !!!!!! mgnfndmfnnfnfmgg cody and dogma make me genuinely insane. ive had exactly 1 au/fic idea for end roll and literally this alone is making me wanna revisit the tiny thing i wrote for it like FAWKKKKKKKKKKK i gotta replay end roll. only semi related have u ever heard 'the same things happening to me all the time even in my dreams' it is SUCHHHHHH a russell song to me fr like holy.shit. god. GODDDDD end roll. i always forgot how much i love it until its mentioned again

YES muddy is the burying one :D i thought that fight just seemed very You coded the music the visuals the everything. it's absolutely one of my favorite boss fights too, alongside the memory girl fight it's so beautiful and sad just AUGGGHHHH. augh. i would LOVE to hear about your end roll au/fic idea please tell me all about it. i'm gonna put my own end roll dsmp au idea under a read more i really want to work on mine too. you've got me thinking about end roll so fucking hard :') also YES i love that song one. two it IS such a good russell song. other russell songs i like of the same genre are visiting angels by elvis depressedly and goodnight / acid dreams by dandelion hands. i'd link my whole russell playlist but it's not up to date Yet i need to rework it saur so bad

okay so just brain dumping about my end roll au it's c!wilbur l'manberg era centric specifically (sorry no ctnt i promise) but like. halfway through limbo c!wilbur drifts off into a happy dream state to cope with it all. he wakes up in early l'manberg era, prior to any wars, and there's no conflict. so little conflict it's almost uncanny. everyone gets along, everyone is kind to him, etc. I've also played with the idea of having objects as enemies/that talk in the au like they do in end roll (like TNT, buttons, books, potion stands). but characters like schlatt are there, and they're happy - like schlatt never fell victim to his addiction issues, quackity works underneath him (unfortunate), shit like that. i'd probably have pogtopia era wilbur be the sort of informant, like working as sort of a reminder to wilbur: "You know what you're like. This is a dream. Don't forget that." y'know. yeah. just something fucked up and c!wilbur centric. i want to work with the au more and Plan Out things and i finally have the brain to do so

#SORRY this took so long to reply to. i have been off in my own little la la la la la land #thes answers

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infernal-fire · 4 years ago

Text

Long Forgotten

I am choosing to not use warnings. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with themes of infidelity, angst, swearing and sexual innuendos.

Summary: Your Steve isn’t yours anymore and you’re beginning to understand why.

Word Count: 3.5k

Pairings: Steve x reader and a surprise appearance ;)

Disclaimer: this is set right after Endgame

A/N: this story was inspired by @nsfwsebbie’s fic please don’t take him (even though you can). it was so damn amazing. i thought of how the situation would go under different circumstances, and added a more strong willed reader into the mix :)

i tried to proofread but im sort of posting in a rush so all mistakes are my own!

(This GIF does not belong to me)

Your head was nestled in the crook of Steve’s neck and his arms were cradling your tired form. Dried tears left your face feeling dry and your up do from the funeral was now tousled. Steve let out a heavy sigh and held you a little tighter.

You could fall asleep if it weren’t for the looming stress of returning the stones so you decided to bide your time by focusing on the super soldier’s unnaturally slow heartbeat.

“We should go, sweetheart. They’re waiting for me.” his voice broke the placid silence that had enveloped the room.

You silently got off the bed and Steve’s hand nudged yours, stopping you from reaching the door.

He slowly pulled you towards him and you met him halfway, face-to-face.

“I know things aren’t great right now. But we’ll get through this,” he spoke lowly as his large hands cupped your face. They felt rough against your supple skin, but his touch was as tender as ever.

You stared into his eyes for a moment before speaking. "I’ll come with you,” you offered.

“No,” he affirmed. His tone was firm yet a touch of softness was reserved in there somewhere, just for you.

“I love you Y/N. I’ll love you no matter what,” he said as he pulled your head into his chest and engulfed your body into his.

You reached the new, mini version of the previously destroyed time travel contraption Tony made. Sam, Bucky and Professor Hulk were engaging in light conversation that clearly, none of them were interested in. You look up at Steve, who was as tense as ever, clutching your hand like a vice. He let go and glanced back at you before joining Sam.

You knew deep down that Steve would never be the same anymore. Hell, after the Battle of Wakanda, Steve almost ended the relationship because the Avengers lost.

But the Avengers won this time, and things should feel different. So why did it feel like he was leaving forever?

You recalled the very short conversation you had with him about Tony’s snap.

“I should have snapped,” he sobbed.

“You’ve always been selfless your whole life. This was Tony’s time to be selfless, and you don’t get to take that away from him.” You hugged him and cried with him.

There was nothing else to be said.

How much you wished no one had to die.

He stood on the platform and nodded at Bruce before locking eyes with you.

Apologetic. He looked apologetic.

At the time, you thought he just looked sad. You assumed it was residual sadness from the funeral but looking back, you realized he looked apologetic for what he was about to do.

Rebuilding your relationship wasn’t easy. Tony and Nat’s death and the trauma of the battle were overshadowing both of your feelings. You salvaged what you could and life returned to a “normal” that never existed.

Being an Avenger means your living costs are covered by Tony, basically compensating for the missions. Only there weren’t any missions anymore. You were grateful but it meant that you had a lot of time on your hands.

You took up a job as a waitress and Steve continued running sessions at the VA with Sam. It was humbling to be serving people at a diner after fighting alongside some of Earth’s mightiest heroes. But you needed it. And slowly but steadily, happiness crept its way into the tower.

You didn’t see Steve around anymore though. You weren’t sure if you were even together anymore, aside from the forehead kisses and lingering glances.

You and Bucky set the table while you heard Sam and Steve banter over who gets to choose the movie today. Bucky chuckled and called them to eat.

There was relentless teasing, jokes being tossed around and big smiles everywhere.

“The nurse had poked him 2 times at this point and there was no blood coming out of him.” Sam laughed.

“So she asks me if we can do the other arm.” Bucky snorted through breaths of amusement.

“This guy pulls up his sleeve and the girl faints.” Sam howled as everyone doubled over in laughter.

You wiped a tear from your eye and you look over at Steve who was laughing as well. It had been a long time since you’ve seen him so happy.

Sure, he’d been distant. He hadn’t touched you since he came back. It had been 2 months though, and you wondered if you should try again tonight. You put a hand over Steve’s and he snapped his head to you. He gave you a small smile before slipping his hand out from under yours and picking up a napkin.

He needed the napkin, you told yourself.

You went up to change into something that he might find more appealing. You were torn between the red lace set or the black corset. You settled for the classic red lace and tied on a robe before heading downstairs to tease him a little.

“You’re going to tell her before you go right?” You heard Sam’s voice and broke your stride to the kitchen.

“She won’t be happy.” You swore it was Steve’s voice but it was a little too quiet to be sure. You silently padded toward the kitchen, standing right outside the entrance to hear better.

“Of course she won’t be happy. You went back to be with a girl from 70 years ago and spent 4 months with her. You sort of cheated on her Steve.” Bucky’s voice quipped at Steve.

You couldn’t be hearing right. Steve went back and got together with Peggy?

“It’s not sort of cheating, he almost got married to her,” Sam remarked in rebuttal.

He almost got married to her.

There was so much information to process. Your shoulder sagged with the weight of the news and you cupped your mouth before anyone could hear your sob.

“But I came back.” Steve countered.

“Do you love her?” Bucky lowered his voice and inquired.

“I don’t know anymore.”

Your chest heaved and eyes burned. You wanted to gasp for air but you knew if you breathed, you would let out the anguish building in your stomach.

Your back hit the wall and you slid down, not caring if he hears anymore.

In moments, Steve, Bucky and Sam appear beside you with startled faces.

You didn’t look at them as you got up and paced to your room. You thought you heard Steve’s voice calling after you but your thoughts pounded and clawed at the insides of your head. You couldn’t be sure and you weren’t going to turn back now.

He didn’t run after you. You had predicted that he didn’t want to deal with your hysterical crying which surely could be heard past your room walls. When you considered it, this new Steve was actually quite predictable; you knew he wouldn’t bother bringing it up to you until you brought it up yourself. Because he was a coward like that, you decided. All of his actions spoke for themself and the one true motive behind his cheating is cowardice. You don’t know if you would have been okay with him going back to Peggy, but if he talked about it, things not have ended the way they did.

After 2 days of not leaving your room, you knew that there was a better way to handle this. It wasn’t you who should be embarrassed; instead of sulking, you marched to his room with newfound determination.

You threw open his door that he didn’t even bother locking. Steve was mid-speech with someone on the phone, seemingly a conversation that wasn’t going his way. He seemed tense, his muscles protruding from the tight white t-shirt pulled over him.

Your jaw ticked as you shifted your weight onto one foot and rested on the doorframe, waiting for him to end the call.

“I’m sorry to cut this short. We have a lot to talk about but it’ll have to happen in-person.” he concluded the phone call and sat on the bed with his head in his arms.

“Seems like you planned it all.” you commented, trying to sound like you didn’t care. In reality, the wound was still very fresh. Even though a part of you had known that the relationship was over for some time now, you were only coming to terms with it now.

“I wanted to tell you before I left, but you were just so upset and I couldn’t …” he trailed off.

“All of a sudden you care about me? And now this is somehow my fault that you were too chicken to tell me,” you retorted, unimpressed with his answer.

“I have always cared about you and always will.” He got up and walked towards you. He cupped your face but you pushed his hand off, glaring up at him.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I admit I could’ve handled everything lot better but Y/N. When you told me Tony’s snap was his moment of selflessness, I realized that all I’ve ever done is be selfless. And I don’t regret any of it. But it was time I chose to do something for myself. Then I remembered Peggy and the life I left behind and I just knew this world would be okay without me so I chose to be selfish. I chose to be selfish, Y/n, and I don’t regret that either.”

You were crying now, and Steve reached to wipe it off, but you smacked his hand.

“You used to choose me. You woke up everyday and chose us. The day you decided you didn’t want this anymore, you decided you would just go ‘fuck all’ and cheat on me? You couldn’t have ended it like a normal person?” you questioned through your tears. Your vision was foggy but you kept wiping your eyes, trying not let him see your tears.

He sighed and let a few moments stretch on before he answered.

“We both know that this relationship was over a long time ago Y/N.”

You noted his use of your name and not the usual pet name ‘sweetheart’ or ‘love’. It saddened you even more to think that he doesn’t associate those words with you anymore.

“You’re a fucking bastard Rogers. You are the biggest coward I have ever met in my life. You may be the Captain America, but you are the biggest wimp in real life.” You could tell he was fuming because of your comment but you continued your spiel.

“I tried everything to make this work. The moment that the thought of cheating crossed your mind, you should have broken my heart. Because all you did now was rip it out and stomp on it before spitting on the what’s left-”

“I can’t believe you’re standing here accusing me of not trying to make this work. You know what Y/N? I fucking left Peggy because I thought about you and thought I could make this work. And then I came back and remembered all the reasons why this wouldn’t work and now I regret it. I wish I could go back to Peggy.”

“Go fuck yourself Rogers,” you muttered and turned to leave. “Actually, go fuck Peggy’s skeleton Steve. I curse you with every cell in my body. I hope you never get to see her again. I know you’re trying to go back,” you added before wiping you final tear, once and for all. There was no way you were going to shed another tear on this asshole.

Except, it wasn’t that simple. You did cry over it more, but if there’s anything you did right, it was making sure he never saw your tears.

You also found that post-break up glow up’s were a real thing. The lack of missions means you didn’t need to see Steve unless you chose to be in the same space as him. So you chose to make new friends and bring new light into your life. There was no dread clouding your judgment because for once, there was no impending threat on the future of Earth.

You cut your hair, you changed up your wardrobe and got as fit as you’ve ever been. Your friends made frequent stops at the Tower which eventually turned into dragging you into their bar hopping.

On the other hand, Steve was doing everything he could to go back to Peggy, just like you had predicted. You manifested his downfall. Hank Pym refused to let his work fall into the hands of the Avengers and Steve was having a very hard time convincing him otherwise. The final nail in the coffin was when Hank decided that Pym Particles should not be produced anymore. As long as the world didn’t understand the entirety of the quantum realm, no one should have access to something that could mess with it. No arguments could ensue because there was nothing anyone could say to change Hank’s mind.

As much as Bucky and Sam wanted him to go back, they knew he deserved it for everything you were put through. When Steve found that his friends weren’t on the same page as him, he spiraled deeper into regret and depression. There wasn’t much to be done in terms of world-saving, which is what he was made for. The person he thought was the love of his life is gone now. When the dust settled, he realized that you were the only thing that kept him going for so long. But now he lost you too, and there was nothing he could do get you back.

While you were out living your new life, Steve was trying to find a life for himself. He would see you around the compound and wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of your love. What he would do to feel that again, he couldn’t explain to anyone.

Your escapades were at an all-time high. You knew that single life is the life. Just when you finally concluded that all men were trash, Ransom came crashing into your life. Although he only reinforced this belief, this man wasn’t just any trash. He was your trash.

He was the mutual of your friends and you seemed to never be able to escape him. Moreover, your friends decided that you wouldn’t escape him.

The teasing and playful banter between you two turned into something more serious about a year after your break-up. Ransom was everything Steve wasn’t.

Steve was a gentleman. Chivalrous. Gentle.

Then you reminded yourself that he had proven to you that he wasn’t any of things anymore. Ransom was the exact opposite, but he wore it on his sleeve. After all the lies and cowardice, Ransom’s blunt and bold attitude was exactly what you needed.

There were moments you found yourself comparing the nature of the two relationships. With Steve, a lot of it was gentle and soft with some roughness around the edges. Life alongside Ransom was nothing short of callous, but that’s why soft, vulnerable moments felt even more extraordinary and special.

If you made a judgement based off first impressions, someone like Ransom seems to be more likely to cheat than someone like Steve Rogers. Upon deeper analyzation though, Ransom doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet. He doesn’t claim things easily, but when he does, he would go to any length to make sure what’s his, will stay his. Soon after you realized this, you began abandoning thoughts of comparing the two relationships.

There was a party at the Tower for Sam’s birthday. It was the first time in a long time that you were going to be around Steve for longer than 10 minutes. Doubt began seeping through your determination; how well would you fare under the pressure of pretending to be okay around him?

“Do we have to match, sugar?” Ransom whined from your bathroom.

“Why would you even go to an event as a couple if you aren’t matching?” you hollered back.

You heard Ransom grumble as the bathroom door swung open. The emerald green dress shirt with small gold polka dots complemented his eyes so perfectly. Ransom was about to complain again before seeing the look of awe on your face. He decided right then that he could suck it up for the night.

You were wearing an emerald green cocktail dress with sheer black net covering your shoulders, your sleeves reaching your elbows. The material was different, but the print was the exact same as Ransom’s. He couldn’t help but wonder why you put so much effort into such little things. He made a mental note to do something like this for you another time before wrapping his arms around your frame, burying his face into your face.

“Ran! My hair!” you squealed as you tried to push him off.

“Usually it’s me that takes this long to get ready. You trying to impress the Captain?” Ransom winked and sat on your bed.

“Oh fuck off.” you rolled your eyes and added the big bow to your half up hair-do.

“You look so innocent baby. How angelic would you look with my cum dripping out of your mouth?” he smirked as you dropped your mouth, looking at him through the mirror.

“My god Ran, this is not the time.” You shook your head and pulled him with you, finally making your way to the party downstairs.

You were breaking out into cold sweat for some reason. Part of you really wanted to show Steve how happy you were now, but you felt that it meant you weren’t truly over him. Were you making a mistake?

Right before you opened the door the common room where the party was ongoing, Ransom stopped you and looked right into your eyes.

“You know, as much as I’d like to make your ex jealous, if you don’t want this, I could think of a lot of other ways to spend the night,” he winked and you blushed. This is exactly why you liked him so much. There was no pressure to be anything but yourself around him. Even if you told him you wanted to go back to your room, there would be no judgement on his behalf. He wouldn’t ever bring it up as a joke either, because he just knew what he could and couldn’t joke about.

“Let’s do this, bubbles” you giggled. He groaned at the nickname and pulled you into his side with one arm, opening the door with the other.

One of Ransom’s many talents was making an entrance and this event was no exception. As you walked through the entrance, Ransom kept his head high and pulled you along with him. His confidence began rubbing off you and within a few steps, you stopped slouching. Straightening you back and tossing your hair behind your back, you bathed in the glory of the looks you and Ransom were getting. He took you straight to the bar, smiled at you and ordered drinks.

“You know, your ex was fuming in the corner,” he remarked as he sipped on his drink.

“No!” you laughed incredulously, unable to imagine Steve begin angry over Ransom’s presence.

“It’s true, look for yourself,” he calmly retorted. His eyes flicked to a corner of the room and you followed his gaze there. Steve looked away upon seeing you look at him but it was clear that he was flustered. Bucky stood beside him, entertaining a gaggle of girls, but Steve’s attention was clearly elsewhere.

“He’s actually pretty hot in person, it’s making me jealous” Ransom nonchalantly mentioned.

You threw your head back and laughed. Your doubts of whether this was a good idea were dissipating very quickly.

Ransom chuckled and then looked at you intently. You looked back at him, the high of the laugh wearing off because of his intense stare.

“I think I’m in love with you.” you blurted.

“You know, I’m glad you said it because I did not want to say it first.” he snickered and you playfully punched him.

“Ow! I’m just kidding, don’t go all Avengers-mode on me!” he fussed.

You pulled him into a tight hug. He peeled your head away from his chest to cup your face and give you a light kiss before whispering ‘I love you too.’ You started to tear up, thinking of all the pain you had to go through to get this moment of tranquility with your favourite person in the whole, wide world.

He cooed and kissed your forehead.

“I always got you.” he assured and pulled your head back into his chest. You smiled and broke away from the hug, sitting back on the bar stool.

“I think you transferred your lipstick because you have a dark red lip mark on your forehead.”

You groaned and frantically wiped your forehead.

“Hey,” he caught your wrist. “Why don’t we go back up and fix that?” His eyes glinted in the dim lights and you giggled like a schoolgirl as he pushed through the crowd.

In that moment, and every moment after it, Steve was long forgotten.

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