#im so happy that yall enjoy my ridiculousness and live for it

[llondonfog]

it feels appropriate on update day that we reached 300 on llondonfog.angst.horror.com

[huellitaa]

bee's record player, june edition 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 INTRO

and to go hand in hand with the may edition and a consolation for how late said may edition of bee's record player was, i present to you bee's record player, june edition! now this month has a LOT in terms of music so i won't stall any further; here is the VERY EARLY edition of bee's record player, june edition! <3 happy pride month lovelies! ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀NEW ARRIVALS

give me that, wayv

♡ released 3rd june, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: not yet listened! ♡

♡ running time: 18 minutes 16 seconds

baby blue movie, cigarettes after sex

♡ released 4th june, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 5 seconds

coming home, beabadoobee

♡ released 5th june, 2024

♡ pre-release single

♡ running time: 2 minutes 16 seconds

please please please, sabrina carpenter

♡ released 6th june, 2024

♡ pre-release single

♡ running time: 6 minutes 1 second

na, nayeon

♡ released 14th june, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: butterflies, heaven, magic

♡ running time: 22 minutes 29 seconds

never be yours, kali uchis

♡ released 21st june, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 3 minutes 16 seconds

supernatural, newjeans

♡ released 21st june, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 11 minutes 42 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. ultraviolence, lana del rey

never gets old honestly. lana ilysm my baby this song is my everything i actually cannot do this. if i die and dont come back to sing "yo soy la princesa " and the whole bridge yall know im dead sorry ab that 💔

♡ 9. complicated, avril lavigne

ONCE AGAIN. ABSOLUTE BANGER. CLASSIC. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH AND IT'S SO RELATABLE RIGHT NOW TOO AVRIL ILY ILY ILY

♡ 8. my kink is karma, chappell roan

also very relatable right now,,, feeling like this ab several very specific people in or out of my life right now and it's so ridiculously accurate and such a banger and her voice is SO RIDICULOUSLY SATISFYING BRO EUUUHHHHSUEUJJJNNNNFFFFUUUEUU

♡ 7. i'll see you there tomorrow, tomorrow x together

YESSS THIS SOBG IS SO BACK WE'RE SO BACK ISYTT STANS RISE. THIS SONG IS SUMMER IDC. ITS JUST. OH KY GOSH. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LJJJDJJUUEEUUHHHHH (translation: very good song! 🫶🏻💖)

♡ 6. gee, girls' generation

GEE GEE GEE GEE BABABAYAY GEE GEE EGEE GEE BABSBABAB this song is the EPITOME of 2000's girly girl kpop. it makes me feel SO girly and i ADORE girls generation. they're just silly girls making silly songs in the silly 2000's i adore them

♡ 5. naked in manhattan, chappell roan

OH MY GOSH. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG EVER ATM U DONT GET IT. listening to this in a sapphic situationship hits different u guys don't get it. naked in manhattan is my religion . the lana and the mean girls ref make me foam at the mouth

♡ 4. femininomenon, chappell roan

HIT IT LIKE ROMPOMDPUM GET IT HOT LIKE PAOA JOHN MAKE A BITCH GO ON AND ON ITS A FEMININOKEMENON. woahhh chappell again are we surprised? no. my excuse is it's pride month fuck off leave me and my cunty lesbian pop alone. ANYWAY THIS SONG IS FOR THE CUNTY LESBIANS AND THE SEXY MANHATER GIRLS GO QUEENS WE LOVE YOUU

♡ 3. please please please, sabrina carpenter

HEARYBREAK IS KNE THING. MY EGOS ANOYHER. I BEG YOU DONT EMABRASS ME MOTHERFUCKER. the vibes this song has are immaculate and once again absolutely devoured the vocals and the retro style music is EVERYTHING brina PLEASE more of this !!! ♡ unpopular opinion espresso was TOP TIER GODLY HEAVENLY PERFECT but i enjoy this ever so sligjtly more. BITH ARE SO GOOD THOGH I CNAT

♡ 2. coming home, beabadoobee

comfort song. this song feels like coming home. it feels like being in disneyland or being at the top of a tower in the evening with the lamplights glowing and the streets bustling and the music playing and just taking a breath of fresh air and realising you're alive thank you for this beautiful masterpiece i'll never get over this bea. i might cry seeing this live honestly

♡ 1. good luck, babe!, chappell roan

this song saved my life watered my crops fed my children impregnated my children made me fall in love with the world again her vocals feel like i'm ascending to heaven i feel like i'm on shrooms i chappell roan i chap

──★ ˙ ̟🎀ALBUMS

♡ 1. rise and fall of a midwest princess, chappell roan

anddd second month strong, chappell stays on top!!!!!! somehow i've become even more obsessed with her than i was last month but we are not gonna talk ab it. it's pride month don't ask me !!!!!!!!!!!!

♡ 2. the name chapter: freefall, tomorrow x together

gone back to freefall lately because i can't believe we're out of freefall era and i miss it so bad. i love tomorrow so so so so so so much but i miss freefall too (+ growing pains is my everything esp bc of the concert videos that i'd kill a man to see live 💔 KAI KAMAL HUENING. I NEED YOU.)

♡ 3. ultraviolence, lana del rey

in honour of both my crippling summer depressive episode and mother's birthday on the 21st ultraviolence is back up at the top again! the glow up before and after listening to ultraviolence is insane idgaf

♡ 4. our extended play, beabadoobee

SHOOPDOOBDOODOABAODOO SHOOPSODOBADODOD OH YEAH SHOOP im so ridiculously excited 2 see this live

♡ 5. beatopia, beabadoobee

once again in honour of the bea concert in november we beatopia still remaining here which is quite a feat actually considering how much i listen to music GO BEA WOOO

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ CHAPPELL ROAN (it's pride month.)

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER (again. it's pride month.)

♡ SABRINA CARPENTER

♡ NEWJEANS

♡ LANA DEL REY (just barely overtook bea!)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

along with the announcement of "this is how tomorrow moves" by our lovely lovely girl beabadoobee, the pop princess, the it girl of western music, sabrina carpenter will be making a return with her new album "short 'n sweet" on the 23rd of august, 2024! ♡

a beyond happy birthday to our mother lana, raising girlbloggers since btd era and onwards ♡ we love you lana ♡

tour dates of both brina and bea have been released this month AND THE BEST PART... ME AND MY BEST FRIEND ARE GOING TO A BEA CONCERT IN NOVEMBER 🫶🏻💘💖 I'M BEYOND EXCITED IT WAS LITERALLY JUST LAST ISSUE I WAS TALKING AB HOW MUCH I WANTED TO SEE HER LIVE I CANT DO TJIS AJDHFIAKTJSKF

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

once again, thank you ever so much for reading this issue of bee's record player: june edition! i really really enjoy writing these and getting the chance to yap ab all my silly little music obsessions to you all. i've made some of my closest friends on here and i treasure you all, love u guys <3

all my love! 💘💬🎀

[wienerbarnes]

A Certain Romance (1/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,513

Warnings: fake dating au, mention to past abusive relationship

A/N: im so EXCITED to start posting this series lmk what yall think!!!

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

He couldn’t quite think of a word to describe the restaurant.

The deep tones of maroon on the walls contrasting against the clean, stark-white tablecloths, tablecloths that have been so deeply washed, soaked in bleach and radiating chemical residue beneath plates of fancy and over-priced dishes for people who have too much money than they know what do with.

Ratatouille is the special for tonight, priced at $32. Side dishes extra, of course.

The overly simple decor on the walls with lighting so dim you’d think they forgot to pay the electric bill, all in the name of minimalism and an art form you just wouldn’t understand.

Bucky has news for them, though. Minimalism won’t get rid of their depression and anxiety, and a $30 plate of vegetables won’t bring you happiness.

His collar feels tight around his neck, even though the first two buttons on his shirt are undone. The longer he stands around waiting for Sam, the more ridiculous he feels. He’s sweating suddenly, and all he wants to do is leave, go back to his apartment, to Alpine, and take off this stupid monkey suit of an outfit.

Where r u?

Should be sitting pretty at a table already. Wearing a cute lil red dress. maybe blue, not sure.

“Son of a bitch,” Bucky mumbles under his breath after reading Sam’s text.

It’s Bucky’s fault at this point. Not only is this not the first time Sam has done this to him, set him up on a blind date and tell him it's him he’s meeting and not a girl, but it’s not the second either. Sam has done this three times, and this is going to be the fourth. How do you let this happen to you four times?

It’s not a surprise either when the date goes horribly all three times, either. The girls are always nice and always beautiful, but Bucky’s in such a sour mood by the time he reaches the table that it’s a failure from the start.

That’s a good word to describe the restaurant. Sour.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a table under Sam. Or maybe Bucky.” He approaches the hostess, praying that whoever Sam has set him up with isn’t here and that they stood him up.

“Ah, yes, your date has been waiting.” She tells him, and he tries not to roll his eyes.

The walk through the restaurant to the table makes him feel more ridiculous than when he was waiting. He feels all eyes on him and it makes his skin crawl, even though when he glances around, everyone has their eyes on their own date; their date that probably wasn’t sprung up on them by a man who dresses up like a bird for a living.

Careful not to trip over his own feet in the dark room, the only lights being small bulbs on a thin string from the high ceiling, he sees a table that’s probably for him.

The only table with one person sitting alone, he spots you looking down at your phone with a slight frown on your face. Sam was right on his first guess, you’re wearing a deep red dress, thin straps over your shoulders and he can see through underneath the table that it flows down to your calf. Nude heels adorn your feet as they are crossed at the ankle, and he can’t help but feel a little bad.

Just because he thinks minimalism and expensive meals are stupid doesn’t mean that other people don’t enjoy them.

“Hi, uh, sorry I’m a little late.” He greets as he takes his seat.

You look up from your phone and give him a closed-lip smile, an unspoken way of saying it’s alright, but he’s seen that tight smile on too many girls before to know that, no, it’s not really alright.

“I’m Bucky, what’s your name?” He asks, hoping that the sooner he starts the conversation, the sooner he can get the fuck out of here. Respectfully.

As far as introductions go, this has definitely been the most awkward. Neither of you know what to say. Not that he’s about to go around giving Sam advice about setting him up with people, because he certainly wouldn’t want Sam to take that as him asking him to try again, but he couldn’t have set him up with someone worse.

It’s painfully awkward, and he feels himself sweating again, blushing from slight embarrassment at this disaster of a date.

The waiter hasn’t even brought out the bread yet.

He can’t do this.

“Listen,” He begins after a few minutes of silence and the two of them awkwardly glancing around the room, as though the avant-garde art pieces are the most interesting thing either of them have ever seen.

“I’m sorry if I don’t seem like I want to be here, it’s because I don’t. And it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s just that Sam told me I was meeting him here because he thinks he knows best when it comes to setting me up on dates even though I’ve told him countless times that -”

He stops when he realizes you’re laughing. Giggles escaping from behind your manicured hand that’s attempting to cover your mouth, he can’t believe you’re laughing at him. As if the date couldn’t get worse.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you.” You tell him, the most you’ve spoken the entire night, only really telling him your name and a few one-word answers a while ago.

“It’s just that I don’t want to be here, either. And Sam also told me I was meeting him here, not a date. And I thought that was funny.”

That bastard, Bucky thinks. But he appreciates that it’s the situation you find funny, and not him. He’s never had a date laugh at him before, and as tough as he is, he can’t lie and say it wouldn’t hurt his feelings.

He opens his mouth to say something but another man in an equally ridiculous monkey suit such as his own approaches the table, a basket of bread in hand.

He can’t help but notice how small the breads are and the fact that the butter is individually wrapped in those small tinfoils - not even The Cheesecake Factory does that, they bring butter in a tiny dish - but he doesn’t say anything.

At least now he has something to do with his hands.

The two of you both pick at the bread in your hands, and while the tension is somewhat eased at the table with the confession that neither of you want to be there, it’s still silent and awkward, as neither of you have spoken again.

Bucky doesn’t know what causes him to say it, maybe it's the obligation he feels to keep the conversation going and fill the silence, maybe his mind just insists on making the evening worse, because apparently that’s possible.

“My best friend died. Recently. And Sam’s been setting me up on these dumb dates to take my mind off it.” He says, and he sees out of the corner of his eye your hands pause around the bread and your head lifts slightly to look at him, though he doesn’t do the same.

“Sam was a little better about it at first, using distracting me as a way to distract himself while we both grieve. But he’s got the whole Captain America thing, helping his sister, working with Torres; he got over it a little quicker than I did and… expected me to get over it, too.”

He’s afraid to meet your eyes. He’s not sure why he just told you that, or why he felt like he owed you an explanation in the first place. He doesn’t even know you! What does he care if the date is awkward? He could leave now and never see you again and not feel bad about, and yet he sits here, sacrificing his own comfort in order to attempt to salvage the evening by being honest? Is honesty even what you want?

“My boyfriend beat the shit out of me. If we’re sharing tragic backstories, I mean.” You reply, looking down at your own bread now that Bucky’s head has snapped up to look at you, a humorless smile on your face.

“Had to move states, change my name, the whole nine yards. And while I wasn’t grieving a best friend, I was grieving… myself. My old life. And Sam doesn’t just distract himself by setting you up on dates, he’s been doing that with me, too. And, so, I kind of get what you mean, when you say that other people get over it and expect you to be okay, too.”

Another pause of silence, but the awkwardness is gone now.

“How many times have you heard the phrase, The grieving process is not -”

“Linear? Too many times. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard that, I’d probably have enough money to afford a plate at this place.” You finish for him, a disgusted look on your face. Almost the same look he had on his face when he entered the restaurant.

He laughs, though. The first time he’s laughed tonight.

“Are you two ready to order?” The waiter interrupts again, small booklet in hand, and thick French accent in the air. Of course, the waiters here are French, how is he even surprised?

“Do you mind if we have a few more minutes with the menu?” Bucky replies, not receiving much of an answer as the waiter looks him up and down, gives him a curt nod, and leaves the table once more.

“Listen, I don’t know about you, but this place looks like… I don’t even know, but it just looks sad, and I know a pretty good pizza place a few blocks away. If you don’t mind walking. Or continuing this date as friends?” He squints as he finishes his question, hoping you won’t take it as him playing hard to get, and actually want to be friends and absolutely nothing more.

“You had me at pizza.”

With the bread from the restaurant in hand and his jacket around your shivering shoulders, the two of you make your way down the sidewalk, stomachs rumbling at the thought of cheap, greasy, slices of pizza.

Sitting among people in their pajamas and otherwise casual clothing, it’s safe to say the two of you are the best-dressed people in the joint. Bucky tells you this and you laugh again, agreeing. Slice after slice goes down easily, much easier than any plate at that stupid clownhouse of a restaurant.

The conversation is easier, too. It’s almost like it was so bad before because of the suffocating atmosphere of the restaurant, The Fork, a stupid name for a stupid place.

What was that word he said before? Oh, yeah. The restaurant was sour. The pizza place, though, run by two older, heavier men with ungroomed mustaches and dark pit stains, is much less sour.

“I surprisingly had a good time tonight. I’m really glad we both came to an understanding of not wanting to date due to our individual unresolved trauma and issues, that we should probably be in therapy for.” You tell him, after thanking him for paying the six dollars both your copious amounts of pizza slices cost.

“I did, too. I’m just glad we didn’t have to stay at that dumb restaurant, I mean what was Sam even thinking with that place?” He rubs his fingers over his eyes in lasting disbelief. He’ll never let Sam live that place down.

“Speaking of Sam,” You start, stepping out of the pizza place as Bucky holds the door open for you, “Would you mind telling him that the date went well?”

“I mean, technically it did, didn’t it?”

“It did. But if we tell him that we left with a newfound friendship rather than sore legs and sex hair, he’s just going to keep setting us up on more shitty dates. I mean he’s great, but he does a better job at being Captain America than he does at being Cupid.”

“Agreed. He’ll just keep setting us up with people until we end up dating one of his picks, regardless of friendships made along the way. He’s too competitive, he doesn’t see friendship as a success, only a boyfriend or girlfriend.” Bucky admits.

“So… if he asks, we’ll just say we’re going to go on another date? And then whenever we hang out, we’ll just -”

“Be extremely and explicitly clear about it to him.” Bucky finishes.

They smile at each other satisfied, satisfied knowing they’re finally going to outsmart the bird man, they’re finally going to be done with shitty, last-minute blind dates that they never wanted to go on in the first place.

“Do you need a ride home?”

“Oh, no, my friend’s on her way to get me now.”

“I’ll wait with you then.”

Cheesy flirting ensues as the two of you joke about fake dating, competing to see who can think of the worst pick up line. Bucky feels a bit embarrassed that he probably would’ve used a few of these a few decades ago when he was a fresh, young man, but he doesn’t dare mention that to you. No need to give you more ammunition to use against him, and especially no need to risk you mentioning it to Sam.

Your least favorite, and evidently his favorite, is If happiness starts with “H,” why does mine start with “U”?

He laughs as you dramatically gag on the sidewalk, almost not noticing the car pulling up to the two of you.

“This is me. Oh, here’s your jacket by the way.” You move to take it off from atop your shoulders but he stops you.

“Hold onto it for me. And also, mention to Sam that you’re holding onto it for me.” He winks.

“Will do. Boyfriend.”

“Drive safe. Girlfriend.” He opens the passenger door for you, greeting your friend briefly, and offering a hand out to help you sit inside, closing the door after you’ve clicked your seatbelt.

He watches the rear lights grow smaller and smaller as you disappear down the street, and he begins walking back to where you two came from. His bike is still parked at the restaurant, after all.

That was probably the best date - not a date, friend date - he’s ever been on, and by far Sam’s greatest success yet, even if it’s not the romantic relationship he probably intended.

It was nice to talk to someone without the pressures of impressing them, the intrusive thoughts questioning their deeper motives or what it is exactly they want out of a date with him. He tried engaging in the whole hookup-one-night-stand culture once, and didn’t like it at all.

Not to mention, he’ll never have to go on one of Sam’s set-up dates again! And he didn’t even need to get a girlfriend to do so!

The night couldn’t have ended better, and he can’t wait to tell Sam all about it.

[crispin-kreme]

how to mend a broken heart ; kim sunoo

part 5/7 of the series

synopsis: every one is born with a heart that glows and it is visible amongst themselves. kim sunoo has the brightest heart and so do you. but a conflict arises between sunoo's life, making the heart lose its glow. gradually, sunoo has become numb to pain once his heart lost his glow. will you be able to ignite his heart again or lose him forever?

genre: angst, slight fluff, best friends to lovers au

pairings: student! kim sunoo x gn! reader

warnings: grammatical errors, car accident, and blood

notes: look who finally updated- im gonna finish this series in a bit because it just hit me that my classes are nearing (im starting on july 21 ew) so yea yall get the gist. sorry for not updating in a long time but anyways- enjoy! also thanks to @atsuwiee for helping out with the plot! <3

sunoo was probably born with the brightest heart amongst his classmates. he kept the brightest smile and he lets out the brightest laughter. being friends with him was easy. considering you both grew up in the same neighborhood and you both study in the same school.

he was a social butterfly and you were absolutely the quite opposite but you still managed to get yourself a small group of friends. your heart grew in an average level. you were happy and at times you were sad. unlike sunoo, you bet that his heart grows brighter than yours.

with sunoo’s bright outbursts of energy, you can’t help yourself fall in love with him. the way he smiles and his eyes quickly resembles a fox, the way he laughs at your lame jokes, and the way he talks gracefully about his day. oh you were a hopeless romantic over him. on the other hand, sunoo loved you from afar as well. he simply admires every thing about you. he loves you as well.

“y/n! how was your day?” sunoo says as he walks beside you “its okay.” you simply replied. both of you were exiting the school gates, school has finally ended for this day. both of you then just decided to take a quick stroll around town. “okay? what do you mean by ‘okay’?” he asks. “sunoo, i don’t have to explain that. its alright. my day went well.” you said with a soft smile placed onto your lips. sunoo smiled “good then!” he replied.

you looked at sunoo and asked “how about you? how was your day?” sunoo shrugged “boring as usual.” he rolls his eyes “why did the teacher even separate us into two different classes?! we were always in the same class, right? it’s so boring without you.” sunoo ranted and frowned “we literally live in the same neighborhood. you can come to my house anytime.” you pointed out. sunoo’s mouth became agape “...right.” he says.

sunoo quickly checked his phone and suddenly gasped “oh no- i was supposed to go to my groupmates’ house today!” he exclaimes. “eh- what for?” you asked “for a project. don’t worry, i think their house isn’t far from here.” sunoo explained. “okay- i’ll take a detour now. take care, y/n! call me when you get home.” he tells you before running away in a rush for a school work.

you sighed as you were left alone on the sidewalk. “gosh- i’m hungry...” you mumbled to yourself. the sun was almost down but that didn’t stop you from going to a convinience store and grabbing a snack as dark came.

as you arrived home, you threw yourself on your bed. it was about 7 in the evening already. you were still alone and your parents weren’t home yet so you decided to call sunoo since you arrived home.

he didn’t pick up. it was only a voicemail.

again and again and again. sunoo didn’t pick up.

you sighed as you faced your ceiling “maybe he’s tired...” you muttered under your breath. you did your night routine before you could even go to bed. you see your heart beating- still glowing so you didn’t really have a problem with anything.

all you didn’t know, as you fall asleep. sunoo is slowly being rushed to the hospital. with his blood stained face and an unbearable pain on his head, its no surprise that he might not even get through this night due to the accident.

the glow of sunoo’s heart started to dim.

hours into your sleep, someone calls you. you stirred in your sleep as you grabbed your phone under your pillow. you just assumed it was sunoo since he’s the only person who can call you at this ungodly hour. you picked up only to hear a woman crying over the phone. you immediately jolted up as you recognized the voice.

“mrs. kim?” you responded to sunoo’s mother. “y/n? i’m so sorry to call you this late.” his mother says apologetically “its alright.” you politely replied. “its alright. what’s wrong, mrs. kim?” you asked in curiousity and concern “well... its about sunoo.” his mother stated.

the news made you feel uneasy. you felt your world stop.

its been a week since the accident. sunoo wasn’t coming to school nor sunoo was contacting you. when you tried to visit sunoo, he forbid you to do so. his texts became shorter and blunt as well as his attitude. you checked the glow of your heart and it was still glowing at a normal rate. you wonder how sunoo’s heart is glowing right now.

sunoo’s heart completely lost its glow. sad to say, his condition made him numb to any pain. he wanted to be isolated. after that car accident, it was discovered that sunoo has turned deaf due to the severe head trauma he experienced during the accident. ever since he got discharged, he never showed up to school and contacts you at a seldom rate.

truly, he wanted to be isolated because of his condition. he feared that you will never love him back because he is now completely deaf. he could still talk but he still needs to learn some sign languages at the moment.

you didn’t hesitate to storm into his house (with the notice of his parents of course. you let them know that you were going to visit him). you made your way quickly into his house and in front of his bedroom. you knocked aggresively. you were a bit furious on why he didn’t want you to visit him thus, you being aggresive.

“open the door, fucker!” you raised your voice. sunoo was curled up in bed, not knowing you were there in front of his door. “i’m coming in you ‘lil shit.” you announced as you barged in his door. you saw sunoo curled up in bed, not noticing your presence. you closed the door and stood in front of him.

sunoo suddenly jolted up upon seeing your presence “y-y/n!” he stutters. sunoo needed to explain faster so that you could communicate with him. “before you talk. i have something to say.” he says. you sit down beside him on his bed. sunoo fixes his posture and looks at you straight in the eye.

“i- y/n, i-i’m deaf.” sunoo said. your eyes widened. “...so please. just type your response in the notes. i couldn’t hear you. i’m so sorry.” he explained, as he tries to regulate his voice. you were still in shock so you nodded and grabbed your phone. you typed in your response.

so this is why you’ve been avoiding me ever since the accident?

sunoo read your response and nodded in reply.

why? you thought that i would dislike you for it?

“yes...” he replied with his head low. “i-i really thought of that.” he added. still, you could see how sunoo was a bit blunt. but sunoo’s heart started to glow little by little, he could feel some warmth.

you listened to him carefully. sunoo’s tears started to form and fall down. “i- i love you, y/n! when i knew i lost my hearing, i feared that you’ll never feel the same way for me.” he explained. sunoo’s heart started glowing brightly again.

“its ridiculous to love someone who can’t hear, right?” he asked rhetorically as he wiped his tears. you couldn’t help but tear up too now that he confessed to you. you brought his face up to your sight and cupped his face.

sunoo reads your lips.

‘i love you too.’ is what you said and sooner later you had to type it in. but sunoo understood you.

“how-“ sunoo gets cut off as you kissed his lips. he wiped your tears “stop crying...” sunoo says as he tried to smile. “i love you so much.” he adds.

your heart glowed brightly like the sun so as sunoo’s. he feels your warmth again, he feels happy.

finally, even without hearing your voice, his broken heart is now mended.

would you like to proceed?

yes/go back

[kpopper]

its mouse anon, back at it again

no worries, I'm also on here very inconsistently but that really warms my heart <33 I'll do my best to make it worthwhile for you!!

I work as a transportation engineer and it's a pretty niche field but I use programs like autocad on a daily basis

signal ... was definitely a show that I loved in the beginning but it got super dark and sad *cries in corruption* but I agree with that, I hide behind my anger at those types of shows. that being said, the guest and save me is still on my to watch list lol

I still haven't finished twenty five twenty one cause it's not a show I can watch in one setting! it's good but in small doses!!

the time travel shows are really hit and miss cause it throws off everything! but I ignore the time travel and the plot holes cause some of the time travel shows had really good characters

the killer's shopping list was good and short! it is a little odd cause it's more comedy than serious for most parts of the show. it's not the next Stranger but I still enjoyed it!

ahhh the business proposal!!! that show was *chef's kiss* super good! I loved both couples, but the ending was super cliche you could make a drinking game of how many cliches they had in the last episode haha both of the couples were very cute i agrees so they get a pass

prosecuter doberman <33 don't @ me but I didn't think Ahn Bo Hyun was good looking until My Name and Military Prosecuter. Itaewon Class did him so dirty (that show was overhyped too but ignore that if you liked it!) I sped through the last half cause I was hooked! and attorney woo too! I heard the cast went on a vacation on their own personal time and that's so cute of them! I think there may be a season 2 too!!!

ooh! minamdang cafe and big mouth is on my list! let me know if big mouth is similar to the Brazilian drama and your thoughts on it!

I live in the krama universe but I'll check out severence! I've also been meaning to watch The Great on Hulu. I'm currently watch Dark on Netflix (a German scifi show) and it's so complicated in a good way!

I recently rewatched Flower of Evil <333 I plan to start Lawless Lawyer soon and I have so many shows on my radar (once upon a small town, tomorrow, little women, rookie cops, dali and the cocky prince and all the shows you've recommended just to name a few) *cries in having no time*

I hope you're feeling safe and happy and I cant wait to hear from you!! <3

(mouse anon pt 2)

I always try to remember to send one ask at a time but I always forget something forgive me!!

I've been seeing reviews for the good detective 2 and they seem to be positive, so I'm also planning on watching it too!

------

transportation engineer sounds so cool tbh no idea what these programs mean though lmao

honestly save me was.... u gotta have stomach for it. and its such a good criticism against the hmmm idek the english term for it. righteous religious people who u know. just hind behind god to do whatever the fuck a christian shouldnt do, like 99% of society. its good but u gotta punch a pillow every five minutes and also it gets super dark sometimes.

i feel u about twenty five twenty one, its not something you binge watch. i felt the same in hospital playlist but did not leave so scarred after it. also with 2521 kinda ruined future shows for me like the main couples..... ok i see yall trying with the chemistry but ARE you na heedo and baek yijin? i dont think so!!!!!! so basically im watching dramas for the plot cause the couples and relationships in it aint it ever since that damn show. extraordinary attorney woo got a pass cause taeoh smiles like THAT and eunbin is so good though.

the killer's shopping list was good and short! it is a little odd cause it's more comedy than serious for most parts of the show >>> the same for cafe minamdang!!! like most of the time they are being ridiculous and suddenly you have two minutes of pure dark drama. but its fun.

i enjoyed itaewon class a normal ammount tbh lmao though i agree ahn bo hyun went above and beyond looking disagreable on it. when i watched my name i knew he looked familiar but was shocked to see from where i knew him

regarding big mouth... i think you'll like it. like i have no other comments on it. you should watch it. its just the right type of entertaining. i think it will be right up your alley

honestly i watched dark season 1 and it took so long for s2 to come out i forgot everything and it seemed too convoluted for me to keep on going fsdklfdsjjkdsl but ive only ever seen good recs over it

im very excited for little women!!! but it still hasnt arrived on my netflix so i gotta wait till october or smth. im getting by with some weekly releases but thats it.

hope youve been well <3333

[a-libra-writes]

A Dragon’s Fire - Daenerys x Red Priestess!Reader

heyo! this was requested by an anon who originally wanted an assassin w fire magic, and i compromised w a red priestess who was an assassin but decided not to hurt dany (bc that seems neat!) but ive been in the shit this week so ... i wrote something fluffy instead. I know, im a big fail, lol. I hope yall enjoy it anyway

Summary: Dany has a big gay crush. That’s it, that’s the fic

“Is she everything you hoped for?”

Y/N did not answer the man behind her. She focused on the flames in front of her, dancing in the brazier into familiar shapes. She had seen them for many years. It’s why she was chosen by the priests, and since the red comet fell from the sky, they whispered if she listened close. Here, in the dragon queen’s palace, she could hear the fire inside the dragons. 

The bear knight’s metal armor and annoyed tone was not enough to distract her. Y/N reached her hand into the fire, it shaped into a dragon that sat in her palm. She didn’t feel the fire, but her red silk sleeve was burning. 

Jorah disliked her silence, but he disliked many things about Y/N. When he first saw her fire tricks, he thought they were illusions, but the heat of them said otherwise. Then there was the first time she set upon Drogon…

He suppressed his shiver and set that memory aside. “The khaleesi wants to see you.”

Y/N closed her palm, and the dragon slivered out, flying back into the brazier. The flames glowed blue for just a fraction of a second. She waved her hand over them, and the fire smothered itself. Smoke rose out of the hot coals, but those too began to rapidly cool. 

She wondered if the knight was still unsettled by her magic. Even the khaleesi had moments of awe and uneasiness, although she was fond of watching. Y/N stood, her silk robes gently scraping the marble floor. Jorah was already walking away, and she made no effort to run to catch up to him. She knew where Daenerys was.

The chambers Daenerys set aside for her council was well-lit and had an impressive, engraved table at the center of it. Its legs used to be harpies made of carved marble and ivory, but she had them removed for dragons made of onyx and rubies. Y/N liked the change, and how they glittered in the light. Perhaps she was biased - her own ruby hung around her neck, although it was far larger and smoother than any gemstone Daenerys had seen before.

The girl’s purple eyes lit up as Y/N entered the room. Y/N couldn’t help but return the sentiment, giving her khaleesi a smile. She was pleased there was no one else in the council room. “You wished to see me, khaleesi?”

“Yes. Jorah, you may leave us.”

Jorah didn’t protest, but he did shoot Y/N a look before he left the room and closed the doors. Y/N noticed there were no Unsullied in the chambers, either.

“I talked to him about what he said the other day,” Daenerys said after a moment of silence. “Ser Barristan, as well. They don’t … In the Seven Kingdoms, your sort of magic is seen as a dream. Unreal.”

“As unreal as dragons?” Y/N tilted her head, and Daenerys tried not to focus on how her hair slid across her bare shoulders. When Y/N first entered her service, she wore modest robes that covered nearly every inch of her. Since then she had adopted a more elegant, free style, at Daenerys’ subtle suggestion. She was pleased with the result. 

Daenerys set her thoughts straight. “True. The reason I called you here was to locate Rhaegal. I haven’t seen him flying overhead in some time.”

“Nor have I.” Y/N touched the ruby that dangled by her collarbone. It was held with a simple gold chain, and anyone could have missed the way it seemed to flicker. It could have been a trick of the light, but Dany knew otherwise. “Would you like me to find him?”

Of course Y/N knew how to do that. She knew how to start and stop fire, how to dream about it, how to see into it. It was only logic that she could find it. She once told Daenerys that the dragons were beings of fire, swirling and living heat. She looked at them like …

… Well, not how others looked at them. It was hard to puzzle out Y/N’s expressions and thoughts. You could ask her something directly, and she’d have some sort of strange answer, or she’d just stay quiet. Daenerys could tell when Y/N was thinking something over, at least. Her pretty eyes would lower, and she’d touch that ruby - was it hot to the touch? It seemed like it - and she would be gone. Sometimes she stayed very still for hours, staring into fire, or staring into nothing.

But she’d always have an answer eventually.

Daenerys’ knights warned against Y/N’s counsel, telling her not to listen too closely to the words of a strange woman of a strange religion. Even Missandei had commented on the followers of Rhllor’s intent to convert King Robert and other places, and the strange magics they could possess. They warned her as if she did not know how to think for herself.

It upset her, but Y/N took such words in stride. She often seemed to know what others thought and said about her, and she did little to stop it. Missandei had warmed to her, Ser Barristan did not think she was any real threat, but Ser Jorah remained unconvinced and wary. Grey Worm did not like talk of magic or priests, but he had no real ill thought of Y/N, and Daario liked to ask her all sorts of ridiculous questions for his own amusement. 

“I have found him, khaleesi.”

Daenerys couldn’t believe her thoughts had drifted again. Y/N often had that effect on her. “Where? Can we ride to him?”

“We could. He is in no danger, he is simply occupied with…” A soft smile came to Y/N’s red lips. “Something he has not seen before. That’s why he’s been away.”

“What could possibly interest him for that long? He’s been gone for days.”

“Shall we find out, your grace?”

Ser Barristan and Ser Jorah would warm her against this, ask her to take one of them or the Unsullied on the trip. Grey Worm would ask to escort them, Missandei would worry and send guards after them anyway. Daario would want to come along. Daenerys looked to the open, blue sky. There was still plenty of sun left.

“Let’s be quick,” She said, already giddy even if they hadn’t stepped a foot outside of the palace yet. “Missandei will keep them busy. Do you want to share my horse?”

Y/N was not an adept rider, but she still said, “That is alright, khaleesi. I can ride my own.”

Daenerys tried not to feel disappointed.

The danger outside the protective walls of Meereen was real, but Daenerys comforted herself with the fact that Drogon and Viserion often flew about these hills, and no one had seen them leave. Y/N said it would not take long, that they’d return toward the end of sunset.

Why do I keep believing her? Daenerys asked herself. She glanced aside, watching the woman reposition her reins. Her normally serene facade was broken everytime she rode a horse. She was not afraid of the creatures, but she had only recently learned to ride, and the beasts weren’t always fond of her.

“If you keep moving like that, you’ll make him nervous,” Daenerys said. “There’s no need to clutch the reins so tightly, either.”

Y/N nodded, and tried to relax her posture. Luckily, she picked an agreeable horse. Daenerys recalled the saddle sores and aches she received when she learned to ride. Her handmaidens gave her a balm to ease the pain. Maybe she could find that for Y/N.

I’ll ask someone to deliver it to her. I couldn’t give it to her myself - no, who says I can’t? But what would she think…

It was hard to tell exactly what Y/N was thinking, but sometimes she slipped, like now. Her brows were slightly furrowed as she righted her posture, and once she was satisfied with it, she kept glancing down at the ground, or at the horse’s ears. Y/N pet his soft neck, then slowly reached up to scratch between his ears. She jerked her hand back as her horse shook his head and made an annoyed sound.

“He didn’t like that,” Daenerys laughed, and it was adorable how Y/N gently laughed, too. She was usually so subdued, so quiet, so … what Daenerys used to be. 

“But his ears are so cute,” Y/N went back to petting his neck, which he much preferred. “Doesn’t it make you think of a cat.”

“No, not at all.” 

“Not even a little? There were some strays I’d feed at the temple. Their ears would twitch when I came by. They could smell the food in my pockets.”

Sometimes Y/N would speak of the temple she grew up in, or the other Free Cities she had travelled to, the friends she had known. Perhaps if she showed this side to the others, they would trust her more, but Daenerys was happy to have it to herself. 

The grass thinned and made way for rocky hills and in the distance, orange and yellow canyons. The sun was beginning its descent, and soon the sky would match those oranges and yellows. Y/N stopped her horse. 

“We can walk from here. Do you hear him?”

Daenerys stopped her own horse and listened. There was the slightest breeze, some distant bird calling, the sound of her horse’s nicker and … 

She shook her head. “If he’s close, we would have heard him by now.”

Y/N dismounted with some inelegance, but she fixed her clothes and just smiled. “Maybe you will when we get closer.”

They tied the horses to one of the few trees in the dry area, and Daenerys followed Y/N’s lead. 

It could be a trap. She could have men waiting there, or there could have been someone following us …

The thought was fleeting, and Daenerys fell in beside her. They both changed to more practical clothing, but Y/N still had a shimmering red cloak tied around her shoulders. As they walked, Daenerys began to hear something strange. It was faint, but as they came closer…

“Water?” She looked at Y/N.

Y/N’s sweet lips curled upward. She often smelled of smoke and spice, and Daenerys wondered if she tasted that way, too. 

They came to the edge of a small canyon, which could be better described as a deep ravine. Water glistened at the bottom of it, and more importantly, the deep green scales of her dear Rhaegal. He lifted his wings high and water spilled on his back.

“What is he doing?” Daenerys asked, but she was answered just a moment later. Water spewed up from the ground in a huge geyser, all at once, and Rhaegal happily opened his mouth and snapped at it. The water fell in thick droplets all around the dragon, the ravine and the two of them.

Y/N pulled her red hood over her head. Daenerys wiped her brow. “You didn’t tell me to pack a hood.”

“Apologies, khaleesi.” Y/N giggled. She peered downward. “If we’re steady, we can walk down to him.”

Rhaegal’s long tail lazily swung back and forth in the water. He was resting, and it only submerged his arms and legs, but he was content. Daenerys noticed all the charred bones scattered around the ravine. She wondered how much was in the water. Her feet found stability, and she carefully followed a natural, steadying path downward. Y/N was just ahead, although she wasn’t as confident in her descent.

They came to a small landing and had to stop there. The rest of the way was simply too steep. Rhaegal seemed to just notice them then, and Daenerys’ heart swelled as her child lifted his head and gazed at her with his sharp eyes. They weren’t merely brown, but bronze, with all the steadiness and strength that metal held. She touched his nose and muzzle, marvelling at how much he had grown. 

His eyes quickly flashed toward Y/N, and Daenerys felt his growl vibrate underneath her hand. She frowned and quickly said, “No.”

She remembered Y/N’s first encounter with Drogon. That was also the day she had taken the strange, beautiful priestess into her court.

Just like with Drogon, Y/N showed no fear. She stepped forward, but she didn’t make an attempt to touch the dragon. She lowered her hood, and Rhaegal’s long, black pupil tightened.

Daenerys felt the heat of his breath as he snorted through his nose. She tensed, forcing herself to stay calm as she repeated her order. “No.”

The geyser blew again, and Daenerys didn’t flinch. Rhaegal watched it rise in the air, then pulled away from his mother to open his jaws at the water again. His black teeth glittered in the setting sun.

Daenerys looked to Y/N. The priestess was so calm and steady, so unaffected … except Dany caught how her shoulders sagged in relief.

“He isn’t like Drogon,” Daenerys said, remembering that day. “He wouldn’t have hurt you.”

Y/N replied simply. “Drogon did not hurt me.” 

Had you been any other woman, he would have killed you. Except ... 

It took days for the servants to remove the char marks on the marble, and some of the melted pillars were still being repaired. Daenerys was half tempted to leave them like that, as a warning to any potential enemies, but it was unsettling to think it may have been Y/N that was burned away.

Except, she didn’t. Her red robes and long hair did, but her necklace and body remained unharmed. Daenerys and her court watched as the fire arced around her, singing away everything but skin and metal, and that ruby she never removed. Y/N looked Drogon straight in the eyes, even as they were obscured by his fire. 

His temper always was the worst. She had done nothing but approach Daenerys too quickly. Jorah was the one who pulled her back behind one of the pillars, and Daenerys remembered how the heat licked her arms as it tried to reach around the marble. Daario had pulled Missandei to cover behind the other pillar. 

Drogon almost never came to the palace, he always wanted to be in the sky, yet he came down on that day. And when the fire cleared and the floor was charred black except for a small circle … He stood back, and Y/N still looked at him. She only trembled slightly. 

She isn’t any other woman.

The geyser blew again, and rained down upon them. The water’s heat didn’t bother her, but all the dust from the ride was stuck to her skin, and the water didn’t clean it off. She had dust in her hair, too, and probably some stray pieces of grass. 

She smiled. It had been some time since she was properly dirty after a ride, and she looked forward to a perfumed bath and brushing her hair when she got back. Daenerys glanced to Y/N, who was occupied with watching Rhaegal. She also had dirt on her cheeks and neck, and some in her hair, and maybe if she wanted a bath afterward, too…

Daenerys reached forward and tried to rub some of the dirt off her cheeks. It didn’t work, but Y/N’s pretty eyes went wide. She didn’t pull away. “Khaleesi?”

Daenerys stepped forward, gently moving her palm so she had Y/N’s whole cheek. Just as she thought - as she dreamed? - the priestess’ skin was flushed and warmer than anyone she’d touched before. 

“You can say my name,” Daenerys said. She tried to tease, but her beating heart and their closeness made her breath catch. She thought Y/N was wearing color on her lips, but perhaps they just always looked like that? 

“Daenerys.” Y/N tried it out, and the dragon queen felt like a girl again, feeling her heart soar at hearing her name on those lips. She leaned in, bringing Y/N closer to her. Their foreheads brushed, and the warmth between them turned to heat.

A piercing roar broke through the sky, and cut straight between them. Daenerys recognized the sound at once, and it distracted her as Y/N jumped away. The woman’s cheeks were as red as her cloak.

Above them, Viserion broke through the clouds and bellowed down at his brother. The first cry was for Daenerys, and the second was probably a command for Rhaegal to move aside. The green dragon made room for his brother, and the water reached the top of the ravine as Viserion splashed straight into it. Y/N pulled Daenerys back before the muddy water could splash all over them.

Daenerys was far too overheated and flustered, and the sight of her children amusing themselves only gave her a little relief. At least Rhaegal was alright. 

Y/N had pulled her hood back down, and it was a shame. At least her lips were still visible through the shadow, although looking wasn’t as good as tasting.

“We’ve been gone for a long time. Let’s ride back.” Daenerys led the way out of the ravine. Y/N said nothing until they were back to the horses, who were understandably spooked from the dragon that flew overhead not fifteen minutes ago. Y/N held her horse’s reins and tried to soothe it, and Daenerys helped, touching the priestess’ hands perhaps more than was needed. 

Y/N didn’t pull away, and that gave Daenerys the courage to kiss her cheek. The soft dyed linen brushed her own cheek, and she caught a whiff of perfume.

The priestess giggled, and it was a better relief than the breeze that was slowly blowing across the hills. “Please, Daenerys. I’m covered in dust.”

“I am, too. Let’s wash up when we ride back - together?”

She caught Y/N’s bright eyes under the hood, and they sparkled as she blushed and tugged the hood further down. “Yes, that would be lovely.”

So it was decided. By the time they reached the gates of Meereen and entered the Great Pyramid, Y/N had dropped her hood and her easy, serene face had returned. She disregarded the suspicious looks, she gave an easy nod to Missandei, who returned a tentative smile. As far as anyone knew, Y/N’s mind was wrapped in her usual visions and prayers.

Until Daenerys brushed her dirty hair aside and smiled at her, then Y/N’s cheeks blushed and her eyes widened in that adorable way. She let the khaleesi take her hand, entwine their fingers, and guide her to the great baths. Y/N’s red cloak fluttered behind her, drawing attention to them. Some Unsullied guards probably saw, and surely others, but Daenerys didn’t care. 

She’s like fire, and I am a dragon - how could she bring any harm to me?

[hikari-writes]

『Haikyuu!!』

Fluff Oneshot

Winter Wonderland Collab

❝ A Very Special Christmas Eve ❞

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime

Warning: None, just some fluff, and mention of one death, and iwa being the husband material he is

Genre: F L O O F

Words: 2.6k

Notes:

- F!Reader

A/N: heres my piece for the winter wonderland collab!! Hope yall enjoy this one!!

Winter Wonderland Masterlist

Your legs swing from side to side as you snuggle closer to the pillow in your arms. The black screened TV stares back at your bored eyes lifelessly, as if expecting you to turn it on. You heave another heavy sigh when you receive a text notification from Hajime. You open the message and a wry smile naturally comes to your lip when you see your husband’s messages.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…. I dont think i can make it to movie night tonight,,, I still have so many work to do at the office”

You correct your position on the couch before facing your phone again and replying to Hajime’s messages. 

“It’s okay hub :) dont work too hard now <3”

You close your phone and go back to staring around your empty living room. How many times has this been already, you thought to yourself. 

Ever since Hajime got promoted at his workplace, he has been busier than ever. Of course you're happy for him and you appreciate him doing so much to provide for you both but you can't help but to feel lonely sometimes.

Before his promotion, it's already been a tradition for the two of you to have a movie night together so you can relax and spend some quality time as a married couple.

Even still, he does a lot of things to make it up to you, like making you breakfast early in the morning before you wake up, kissing your forehead and cheeks whenever he gets home after work and a lot more. Just to show his affection and love for you even though he's constantly busy and swamped with works.

You check your phone again to see a new message from Hajime. He tells you that you can go to sleep first, since he'll probably be back at a later time. As you type out your reply for him, you can't help but notice the date shown on top of your phone screen.

It's nearing Christmas. Precisely one week from today. You think back on the memories you shared with Hajime from your previous years of spending Christmas Eve with him. 

Those moments are your favourite memories with Hajime of them all. It feels so nice to enjoy a meaningful holiday together with someone you love. Your smile fades as you remember back on how busy Hajime has been.

“Maybe we can't celebrate Christmas Eve together this year….”

You can't help but to feel a little bit disappointed at that realization, but you tried to stay positive...for Hajime's sake. You don't want to burden him by asking him to leave his work early just because you wanted to spend some more time with him. 

“What?? You don't think Iwa-ch--- I mean, Hajime-kun can be home for Christmas Eve because he'd be busy with his work??”

You silently sip your bubble tea as you stare at Oikawa's shocked face through the screen of your computer. After fiddling with the straw a bit, you nod your head at his question. 

“Y/N-chan, that's ridiculous! No matter how busy he may be, he can't possibly miss spending an important holiday like that with you.”

“I don't know, Oikawa….He's been busy these past few days. And I honestly won't be surprised if he's going to be busy again until Christmas Eve.”

You let out a heavy sigh and Oikawa gives a look of sympathy at you. 

You slump back into your chair and take another sip of your drink until there's nothing left in the cup, filling the empty silence between you two. There is a faint sound of people talking in a foreign language from Oikawa's side of the screen.

“I'm not trying to be ungrateful or anything since I know he's working hard for the both of us but….”

You bring your knees from under the table and hug it closer to your face, covering your entire face. 

“I just...I don't know if I can handle being alone for Christmas Eve without Hajime.”

You mumble those words through your hidden face, not really caring if Oikawa heard that or not but from the way his soft voice calls out your name, you assume he did. 

You hide your pained face in your knees for a lot longer, not noticing the clicking sound coming from behind you. Not until you hear Oikawa calling out your husband's name in a panic do you finally lift your head from the safe spot of your knees.

You stare at Hajime who's still in his suit. He came back rather early today. 

Hajime furrows his eyebrows at Oikawa when seeing how you were just hiding your face in your knees a few moments ago. 

“Hey, Shittykawa. You weren't trying to make Y/N cry were you?”

The sharp tone of his voice sends a chill down Oikawa's spine and he quickly laughs it off with a smile.

“Hajime-kun, that's mean!! I would never do that to my best friend's wife!”

Hajime puts a hand around your shoulder and lowers his face a bit to match the level of your computer screen before continuing to bicker again with Oikawa. 

The scene seems nostalgic to you, bringing your memories again to the times you were in high school. You can't help but to smile softly at them, enjoying their bickering a bit more before deciding that it's getting late and you and Hajime best return to bed by now.

After you close your computer, you turn to Hajime and he immediately plants a kiss on top of your forehead as he always does whenever he comes back. 

“You're home early today.”

You comment while wrapping your arms around his neck, resting your head on his chest and taking in the soft beating of his heartbeats.

“Yeah, I finished my work early today.”

He heaves a weary sigh as he replies to you, and you plant another kiss on the bridge of his nose before grinning. 

“Well, I'm glad I could snuggle with you tonight while we're sleeping then.”

You both share a kiss before going off to do your night routine. 

After you're done with your night routines, you climb onto your bed and snuggle into your soft pillow before pulling out your phone to kill some time while waiting for Hajime to finish his shower. 

When you feel a big hand being placed on top of your shoulder, you close your phone and turn back to face Hajime with a soft smile. 

“So what were you talking with Oikawa about?”

Hajime starts as the both of you get under the duvet. 

“Just catching up and asking him how he's been. He seems to be pretty happy there. Oh, and, it seems that he's still having a hard time trying to not call you Iwa-chan.”

You giggle a bit when remembering back how Oikawa kept referring to Hajime as Iwa-chan like he used to in high school while the both of you were in a video call just now. Now that you're also an “Iwaizumi”, he can't really use the nickname “Iwa-chan” for Hajime anymore. 

Hajime hums a bit before nodding.

“Can't say I'm surprised there.”

He pulls you into a hug and you close the distance between you two by snuggling into his chest. You could smell the fresh scent of the body soap he used. It was calming and very like him. 

“Something’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

The sudden question almost makes you flinch in his arms. You can’t afford to let him know now but you can’t bring yourself to cover it up and lie to him either. Especially because of how sharp and attentive he can be towards you. 

“Yeah… a bit. I was just wondering about that coworker I told you about before.”

Hajime looks down at you and seems thoughtful for a moment.

“You’re still worried about how she would cope with her husband’s death?”

You nod in his chest and tighten your arms around his sturdy build.

Technically, it’s not a lie. You were extremely concerned and worried about your coworker who recently just lost her husband. You can’t help but think, if you were in her place, how would you handle it.

“Losing someone as important as your partner is certainly something that’s hard to cope with. But, knowing that now they’re in a better place up there, watching over you and wanting you to go through life, full of smiles...I think that just makes you feel a lot better. You might not be able to be together now, but one day, you will reunite and you’ll have an eternal span of time to be together.”

You look up at Hajime who’s stroking your hair softly. You didn’t expect him to say all that. Those words just made your heart clench more and you pull on his shirt to lower his face and give him a kiss on his lips. 

“Hajime you’re more destructive than I originally thought....”

You bury your face in his chest again, hiding your steaming face and leaving your husband confused.

Days passed and it’s finally Christmas Eve. Many people are in the shopping district, buying the necessities for their home decor and ingredients for cooking. As always, you had bought everything beforehand so as to avoid the gathering crowd.

It’s nearing evening and you can see many young couples around, sitting together and gazing at the decorations in the shopping district. You can’t help but to look at them with nostalgia. It reminded you so much of your younger days with Hajime.

You shake the thought from your head and continue walking away. You chose to take a detour after you’re done with work today, just so you could take a look at the busy shopping district. Since it’s Christmas Eve today, you thought that you’ll start decorating your house when you get back home.

“Hajime’s probably gonna be busy today and tomorrow too so I can take my time a bit,” you mumble to yourself and continue making your way through the district.

Moments after you said that, you received a text message from Hajime that weighs upon your heart like a heavy rock.

”Babe, I’m so sorry I can’t make it home before 12…. Seems like we’ll miss spending time together for this year’s Christmas Eve. Im so sorry again, i know how much you’ve been looking forward to Christmas Eve every year but the work just keep on piling up. And for Christmas tomorrow too...I’m so sorry.”

You thought that maybe if he can’t make it for Christmas Eve, you would have had time to spend on Christmas the next day. You have to accept the fact that this year, there’s just no other way other than to spend it alone and being wrapped up in your blanket. You honestly much prefer Hajime’s strong arms to wrap you up, though.

Christmas Eve is considered to be one of the most popular days to celebrate as a couple and you truly enjoyed spending it with Hajime every year. That’s why you value the celebration so much and you honestly don’t want to celebrate it with anyone else other than him.

Although your main concern right now is more towards the fact that he’s been working too much lately. You’re definitely worried about his health more than anything right now.

“It’s really okay bb! Im grown up now and i know we cant celebrate Christmas eve together every year :) Im just worried that youve been working too much and havent had much rest lately :(( make sure to take care of yourself u hear me ??!”

You see him replying with a promise that he will, and that somehow put you at ease. You tell him you'll reach home soon and send a last 'I love you' message before turning off your phone and picking up your pace.

“I’m home….”

You open the lock and step inside the empty and dark house. 

But something feels wrong.

At the center of the living room, you can make out several colourful light bulbs hanging from a Christmas tree.

“Huh….that’s weird. I didn’t remember putting anything there….”

In fact, you haven't even started decorating yet. It makes you wonder if you have decorated the living room while you were asleep.

“But I'm pretty sure it was empty around here before I left for work….”

You look around your house once more and sure enough, it's filled to the brim with Christmas decoration. Your heart flutters at the sight, completely disregarding the odd fact that the house has already been decorated even though you don't remember doing so.

All of a sudden, you feel a pair of strong arms around your waist, pulling you closer before all the lights in the house are turned on. 

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

The soft voice of Hajime coming from behind startled you a bit, but that doesn't stop the tears that're welling up in your eyes.

“Hajime?! But-- I thought that--”

When you feel his grip around you loosens, you turn around to face him, not really realizing the tears that are threatening to fall down your eyes.

“Surprise?”

He says with a shrug and a grin before embracing you once again. You bury your face in his chest and before you know it, you're already starting to let the tears and a few hiccups out.

Hearing you crying, Hajime quickly releases you with his eyes wide, inspecting your face while you try to hide it in your hands.

“Y/N, what's wrong?”

You can hear his panicked voice calling for you and your hiccups slowly turn into a soft laughter.

“S-sorry...it's just, I really wasn't expecting this and…..All this time I've just felt so lonely thinking that you won't be able to spend Christmas with me but… but this surprise really caught me off guard and my tears just started...”

You try to explain through your tear stained face with a smile. Hearing that explanation, Hajime releases a relieved sigh and cups your cheek in his hands before moving it closer to plant a soft kiss on your lips. 

“Sorry I made you feel that way, honey.”

You shake your head and give him another kiss on the lips. You both stare at each other for a moment before letting out a soft giggle. 

As he leads you to the dining room, he explains to you how he's been busy working overnight the days before so that he can get an early leave for Christmas Eve. He wants to make a surprise Christmas celebration with you so he took it upon himself to decorate and cook all the food before you came back home from work. 

“Hajime, I really appreciate you doing this for me….”

You stroke his face and bring it closer but all of a sudden you flick your fingers to his forehead, thankfully not too hard so your fingers aren't too damaged from the hit. 

“But what did I tell you about working too hard, hmmm?? You better be getting enough rest after this or else!”

Your husband just looks at you with a deadpan expression before heaving a small sigh. 

“It's okay, I don't have to go to work tomorrow so I plan to rest anyway.”

He sneaks in another kiss, completely catching you off guard and almost making you forgive him right away if not thanks to your strong wife's willpower.

“Oh but...tomorrow's Christmas so….”

You look at him again and a smile automatically graces your lips in a matter of seconds. 

“We get to spend the whole day together on Christmas then.”

You hum those words out, and skip your way into the dining room with a smiling Hajime following closely behind you. 

“Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.”

That night, the Iwaizumi household is filled with laughter as they dine and chat together, spending their time and valuing each other's company as a happy married couple.

The End

Gen. Taglist: @vventiis @laylahoran @whootwhoot @mirakeul @kiyorei @instantmiya-main @ourvisty @tamaguchi @cadenceh2o @hidehaskak @yamagucji @ynainnit @tsukisemi @that-chick212 @bakuhoetoedoroki @alysken [Join my taglist here!]

Winter Wonderland Taglist: @aii-channn @peteunderoos @jungtoast @nekoclysm @our-tall-slytherin-queen @isabella5 @slippinglasses @yhyucklee @rowley-with-ackerman @lilacnoodles [Get into the winter wonderland taglist on this post!]

[thegreenmetblue]

Hi! If you get this, answer with three random things about yourself and send this to the last seven blogs in your notifications – Anonymously or not! Let’s get to know the person behind the blog! :)

tyhsj ty red cheeks 💖💖🥴🥴

7. i can’t live without music, like... i listen to music constantly djkdl and im so grateful music exists (like omg i cant even think of going out without my headphones 😩😩 what a nightmare)

8. this is the first time i feel like i belong in a fandom and yall makes me ridiculously happy but sometimes im scared i put too much importance in all of this 🥺💖 i have huge tendency of obsessional behavior (hi adhd again) and i love all of this sm that it’s easy to fall for it

9. i don’t like sunny weather jdkxl (i dont handle well hotness and my skin hates sun) and im such a whore for rainy or stormy weather, it appeases me so much and i enjoy it 😋🥺💖

[jewpacabruhs]

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020!��

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people

well this got really cracky really fast

okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"

so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music

Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun

anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)

i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway

magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.

maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted

luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity

so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks

and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER

and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we

i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel

god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess

so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends

so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it

and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet

anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy

which,,,,, despair

because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else

hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids

fuck

shit

goddamn

meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits

meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole

izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u

but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening

and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show

maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point

the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings

it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies

they just,,,,,,, live like this

it lasts for so long

like ..... months of ridiculousness

and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit

and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets

the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"

so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM

and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married

anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"

eventually luke actually asks maryse out

i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done

this is your fault anon

if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it

[dunk-that-touchdown]

Tsuyoshi Kanamori Headcanons

So these were flagged on my other blog since it was littered with so many porn gifs, so I’m reposting them here! Hope yall enjoy em!!

Warning: Spelling mistakes/errors cuz OP doesn’t like to proofread 

_____________________________________________

Relationship:

I’ll start this off by explaining the type of girl he would fall for because the love of my life has very specific tastes (but please know that he would fall for almost anyone, but what I’m about to explain is the type of girl he seeks out):

Okay, so physically, Tsuyoshi likes himself short girls. Yes, I know it’s such a cliche to have a tall man with a short girl but he can’t help himself. He thinks they are so cute and he loves the contrast of their heights. He likes the fact that he can just pick you up when he wants to hug you or kiss you and it absolutely drives him crazy when he holds your hand. It’s so small compared to his and he loves that his hand can clasp around your entire hand. It makes butterflies flutter in his stomach.

He also likes girls that are in the cute category. Once again, it’s a cliche but I will not change my mind on this. Girls with wide eyes, chubby cheeks, sweet smiles, and soft looking features are his weakness. This man would honestly fall to his knees in front of any girl like this because he just can’t handle how cute they are.

Im terms of personality, he loves a girl that has a sort of innocent and motherly kind of nature. There is a lot going on in Tsuyoshi’s  life which causes him a lot of stress. Being a captain of a school team as well as being a third year prepping for exams can really put a lot on his shoulders and he would love to have a girlfriend that would be able to help him relieve some of that stress and take some of his daily duties off his shoulders. Things like coming to help him with his chores, helping him study, giving him gentle reminders of when to take a break or go to sleep, helping him with his meal prep and schedule for sumo would be something he would absolutely love his girlfriend for.

He is also a sucker for innocent girls or at least innocent looking. In addition to wanting to be taken care of, he wants to be able to protect his girlfriend and having them look so innocent makes his drive to protect her even stronger. He would never let any harm befall his girlfriend and if she was ever in danger, he would be there for her as fast as he could.

Honestly, he would even beat up any person that dared to cause his girlfriend mild discomfort. You don’t mess with his girl and get away with it, okay?

Now onto some general relationship headcanons:

There is honestly nothing this man wouldn’t do for you if it meant seeing you smile. He would walk to the ends of the earth for you if it meant it would bring a smile on to your face. Whenever you’re feeling down, you can always expect him to come to your house with bundles of sweet goodies, teddy bears, and kisses to make you feel better. He’s just such a sweet boy.

He’s very protective of you too. He doesn’t want anything bad happening to you at any point and will always go out of his way to make sure that you are safe. He even formed a protection squad for you comprised of all the first years of the sumo club and some other delinquents from his school. They escort you home when Tsuyoshi can’t do so himself, they watch out for you when you’re out with your friends in a sketchy looking neighborhood and they even come to your house to help you make dinner from time to time because eventually they are going to become your ‘sons’

To be honest, you’ll end up as he mother of the sumo club and no one questions it. They all call you mother and treat you with the utmost respect.

He is kind of shy around you but trust me when I say that it’s so adorable. Like in the beginning of your relationship he gets so flustered by the smallest things that you do. If you laugh at a joke he made, his cheeks will turn a bright pink and he’ll try to look away from you so that you won’t be able to see it but you would have spotted it and it’s just… so cute. If you tease him at all about it, he’ll just stutter and fumble around his words, only making him cuter.

He is such a sweet boyfriend. Like I know I already said this but it’s fucking true. Even though he looks like he could fucking kill you with his bare hands, Tsuyoshi is an absolute teddy bear and only ever wants to see you smiling and happy. Home boy honestly loves for your smile and if anything ever made you sad, he would be right there to help bring a smile back onto your face.

There is honestly nothing this man wouldn’t do for you if it meant seeing you smile. He would walk to the ends of the earth for you if it meant it would bring a smile on to your face. Whenever you’re feeling down, you can always expect him to come to your house with bundles of sweet goodies, teddy bears, and kisses to make you feel better.

He is also very much a gentleman. He treats you with the utmost respect and care and won’t let you waste your precious energy on anything if he has the power or opportunity to do it for you. So things like opening doors for you, pushing in your chair, paying for food, fixing your sink, or wiping your tears away when you cry are all the hints he will and wants to do for you. You are his everything and there is nothing that is going to stop him from providing for you. 

Now it’s canon that Tsuyoshi is a shy boyo. He gets flustered around women pretty easily and has a hard time talking them and when it comes to his girlfriend, he’s even more so, especially when it comes to forms of affection during the beginning of your relationship. He is afraid that he might hurt you or make you uncomfortable because his hands are so big and usually just waits for you to initiate any kind of physical affection because he just has too many worries when it comes to being the one to touch you first.

However, as your relationship progresses, he’ll be a little more forward and begin to imitate forms of affection first. He’d start off with simple hand holding or letting you latch onto his arm as you both walk together or sit beside each other. There is nothing this man loves more than just having you close to him and he’s always dreamed about you holding his hand and having it actually become a reality just makes him so happy. Eventually he will become a lot more comfortable with touching you and will go for bolder approaches to affection like kissing you, hugging you, and just overall touching you.

But honestly he’s a Slut holding your hand and kissing your forehead though. The gesture is just so soft and innocent and intimate and he just lives for it. He also just loves playing with your fingers randomly, comparing them to his and intertwining them and planting soft kisses on them. Compared to his, your hands and fingers are just so dainty and cute and he can’t help but admire them any chance he gets.

Actually, this guy just likes touching you in general. Tsuyoshi is he type of man that will want to be around you 24/7 because he just loves you so much and always wants to know that you’re doing well. Wherever you go, he will always have some part of him touching you, but like I said, holding your hand is his favorite thing to do. Other than that, it’s having an arm around your waist or linking your arms together when you’re walking.

He gets you flowers every other day with the cutest little hand written card that reminds you of how much he loves. Each bouquet of flowers he gets you always has a meaning to it and a card to match (even though his handwriting is a little sloppy). One day you’ll get a bouquet of Arbutus flowers to show that he loves only you with a heartfelt letter going into detail as to why he loves you. The next day you’ll get a bouquet of daffodils to show his desire to love you and how he wants to show affection at any given moment with yet another letter going into detail. However, the flowers he loves getting you most often are roses. It’s pretty cliche but he thinks they’re just as beautiful as you and they are such a universal symbol of love, though he never gets you them in a bouquet. It’s only ever a single rose and he always gives them to you in person along with a sweet kiss.

My husband is super sweet and cute, alright.

He’s the type of boyfriend that will take as long as it needs to understand you and how you’re feeling. The last thing he’ll get want is for you to be upset and will let you take your anger out on him if need be. He’ll sit with you for as long as you need, letting you rant to him and tell him exactly why you’re upset. If it has nothing to do with anger or sadness and you just want to talk to him about something that you’re not comfortable with or familiar with, he will be all ears for you. He wants to be someone you can go to to talk about anything, grounding you and keeping you comfortable and safe.

He’s also the type of boyfriend to do the most ridiculous or mundane things for you when you’re on your period. He will go to hell and back to get you something that probably doesn’t even exist because you mentioned it in your sleep or something. Yoshi just wants you to be comfortable and feel little to no pain when you’re on your period. If you need something to punch because your cramps are too much to handle, go ahead and punch him. He doesn’t mind. He would even suggest it. If you need to cry, he has two free shoulders for you to cry on as well as a vacant lap that you can sit on to cuddle up to him if you need. He’s just very accommodating and understands that what you are going through is painful and will do all that he can to help. If there is stuff he doesn’t know, you bet he’s going to do research if you complain about something he doesn’t quite understand.

Loves having you nap with him!!! Like listen, this man is the softest and warmest person on his team and cuddling with him is like a dream. After he’s eaten his chanko and it’s time for a nap, he’ll call you over just so he can have you in his arms, sleeping peacefully cuddled to his chest. It’s honestly the cutest thing waking up to him because he does that sucky thing in his sleep. Yunno what I’m talking about? Babies do it in their sleep when they don’t have a pacifier and they’re just sucking on their tongue or lower lip. Yoshi does that and it’s just so heart melting seeing him do it. (Though he will deny it if you ever bring it up)

Lunch dates are a must. Almost all your dates happen during lunch, whether or at school or otherwise. He is usually the one to make lunch and then take a bus or train over to your school and eat with you. He is a very good cook and always makes you your favorite foods and desserts and feels such a great sense of pride when you compliment his work.

However, he does have a certain fondness for the sea so he’ll take you on his father’s boat for a date. He likes taking you to different areas in the ocean and telling you all about it since he’s a bit of a marine biology nerd. He knows all there is to know about marine life and can identify almost any sea animal or plant. It’s so captivating seeing how passionately he talks about everything and you can’t help but blush when he answered a question you have for him in such expert detail.

He’s actually very in tune with sea animals as well and they actually like him back?!? So lots of dates where he takes you swimming with different types of fish and maybe even a dolphin or two. He loves the look on your face when you see all the different fish and tries to take as many pictures of you as he can whilst in the water.

Listen, Tsuyoshi is a big guy and being a big guy means he needs big clothes and his clothes are just always so warm and big and comforting, so it’s only natural that you steal them, right?

He just… he loves seeing you in his clothes man. It’s just so cute to him. If you wear his signature black shirt, he’ll probably die from how hot his cheeks will get at the sight of you. The way his shirt just engulfs your body and makes you look so innocent and angelic is just too much for him.

Speaking of clothes, you guys totally match! You were the one to convince him to do it and he actually really likes it. Whenever you go out on dates or to a get together with some friends, you guys always make it a point to match clothes with each other. It doesn’t have to be exact but matching colors and maybe shirts is something you both do often and everyone thinks it’s just so cute seeing you too like that. This big intimidating dude wearing a matching pink shirt with his sweet and short girlfriend is just a heart stopper for everyone.

Lives for your selfies. Every time you send him a picture of yourself, he always feels his knees go weak and his heartbeat flutter in his chest. You are just so cute and beautiful to him and he saves each and every photo you send to him. It doesn’t matter if they actual cute photos or ones with you wearing a face mask on after only having 2 hours of sleep, he is going to cherish each one.

However, he Doesn’t really take his own though. He isn’t really a photo taking kind of guy and always thinks he looks odd in pictures. It’s usually you taking candid pictures of him and sending them to him to have as well as keeping

You guys have the cutest pet names for each other! He loves calling you things like: “Muffin, sweetie, gumdrop, bright eyes, and sugarplum” he thinks those are names that fit you so well and loves using them for you. On your side, calling him: “(teddy) bear, babe, Tiger, Tsu-chan, and honey bear” are some names that both you and him like.

Tsuyoshi loves kids and babies but he is absolutely horrible with them, though not on purpose. Young kids just find him so scary looking and he almost always makes them cry when they make contact with him but he tries his best to make em smile again.

Often times, he gets a bit down when babies cry around him because he really does love kids and he’d like to have a few of his own someday with you.

When he gets all upset about it, you’ll have to come and comfort him. He just doesn’t understand why babies are so afraid of him when all he wants to do is play with em.

I can totally see Tsuyoshi having a bunch of girls and then a single boy. He would have at least four girls and a baby boy as his last child and he would spoil them all to hell.

His first born girl would be his absolute princess and for a while he would be wrapped around her finger, doing any and everything she wanted him to do. Though, she wouldn’t ever want much because she’s such a shy sweetie pie that loves her father to pieces.

He would then have twin girls that are just so rambunctious and energetic that he has a hard time keeping up with them.

His last girl would be much like her mother and yet again, he would be wrapped around her finger.

His son would be like a mini version of him and he loves it so much. He would teach his son how to protect his mother and sisters and how to treat women with respect and it’s just so cute seeing this mini Tsuyoshi waddle around trying to make sure all of his older sisters are okay and giving his mother tissues and hugs and kisses throughout the day to show his affection.

NSFW:

Okay, let's start off with this big boys dick. It’s fucking thick, okay? His cock is a little on the shorter side, being 5.3 inches long but holy shit it is too thick to be real. His cock could do some serious damage to you if you don’t properly prepare beforehand. Not to mention that he’s a bit of a grower too but not by much since it’s only 5.5 inches once fully erect. You can bet that he also has some pretty impressive veins on his cock too that are pretty sensitive~! The tip of his cock matches the girth of his shaft and it’s such a good feeling having it go inside you. It’s also full of rich pink tones that are honestly so drool worthy because it makes his cock look so pretty. A pretty cock for a pretty man.

He also has a lot of pubic hair though he shaves it in a way that you can’t really see it when he wears his mawashi belt but he doesn’t do it often. He doesn’t really tend to his pubes all that much because he just doesn’t really see the point in shaving it all away if it’s just going to grow back. If he has an important bout he is taking part in, then he will shave down a little bit just so that you can’t see much of his pubic hair, but he leaves the rest of it unattended.

He actually quite likes the way his pubic area looks with all the hair and thinks it’s a lot manlier than being completely bare down there. This goes for his girlfriend too. He likes his girl a bit bushier than the norm. It’s not a necessity, but he just thinks it makes his girlfriend a lot more natural and womanly when they have at least some pubic hair but he’s overall satisfied if she wants to keep herself bare or not.

Now like I said before, Tsuyoshi is a pretty shy man when it comes to women… but dude does have some experience under his belt. Mostly during his second year, Tsuyoshi was chased after by a lot of girls from different schools due to his performances in his bouts. Who wouldn’t love seeing that tall ass man and his thick thighs take down other men so easily? One or two girls would have been luckier than others by having taken Tsuyoshi to bed with them, but that’s about it.

With that being said, Tsuyoshi knows what he is doing and is going to treat you very well when he makes love to you. Yup, you heard me right. Home boy makes love to you. Rough fucking is good and all but what he really wants to do is take his time with you, let you feel him and how much he burns for you.

He is a gentleman in the streets but a freak in the sheets. He is a dirty man. Very dirty~! His sex drive is a normal for a man at his age, thinking about sex and women whenever he has a moment to spare. With being a part of the sumo club, he hasn’t really had a lot of experience with women (like I said, he’s only really been with one or two girls sexually in his life) but he has had a lot of time to think about some rather raunchy sexual fantasies he would just love to try out with someone he has really found a good connection with.

He is very skilled when it comes to using his tongue and fingers. He could honestly make you cum ten times over with just his fingers or his tongue.

His fingers are thick and long, good for reaching deep inside you and really giving your pissy a good stretch. All he ever needs is a single finger to really prepare you well for his cock because that’s just how fucking thick they are. Not to mention that they are pretty calloused too so the texture of them against your soft, wet folds is to die for.

Now this boy’s tongue… holy hell his tongue. It’s wide as hell and was basically made for eating out some good pussy. He likes to eat you or slowly, lapping up at you with long, slow livks that are bound to drive you insane. He enjoys taking his time to really taste you and build you up to a slow burning orgasm before you both get down to the real business.

Long, deep thrusts is what Tsuyoshi is best at. Sex with him is always pretty slow, but it’s incredibly intense. He wants you to be able to feel each and every movement he makes, feel his thick cock sliding in and out of you, how it stretches you and makes you moan. He likes to be able to bury himself deep inside you before pulling out and seeing if he can get even deeper. He thinks it’s the perfect way to have sex because the build up is so hot and frustrating but then the finish is so blissful and intense.

Tsuyoshi doesn’t mind having sex in the missionary position or whatever position you suggest, but a few positions that he really likes are:

Concubine - this is a type of doggy style position that allows for good penetration and lots of touching on the male’s part. Since Tsuyoshi is such a slut for touching you, it’s the perfect position for him. He can control the pace as well as touch you all over whenever he pleases. He can have his hands on your hips, holding you tight as he thrusts himself into you or he can leave forward a bit and cup your breasts and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he fucks you nice and slow.

London Bridge - this is a sex position that allows for lots of face to face contact and plenty of deep penetration. This is perfect or the both of you because in this position, once again Tsuyoshi can control the pace and tough you how he pleases, but he also has access to a special little place on you that he knows will drive you wild: your clit. When in this position, when you’re getting closer and closer to your climax, he will pinch and play with your clit slowly, helping push you over the edge and cum hard around his cock.

Eagle - now if you’re anything like me, you love having a man put his weight on you and this is exactly what this position calls for. Again, lots of deep penetration and clitoral stimulation and him controlling the pace. You both will be able to see one another and all of the pleasures faces you make as he fucks You into the sheets.

Time for his kinks!!!

Tsuyoshi is hella into biting! Now, he doesn’t like to do so roughly because he is afraid of hurting you, but he does like to nibble and bite you hard enough to leave light marks on you. He just needs to put his mouth and teeth on you when he feels himself sinking deeper into the pleasure that you are surrounding him in. However, when he does this, he doesn’t moan as much which really sucks because his moans are so freaking sweet.

Mutual masturbation is something he is into. He thinks it’s so hot being comfortable enough around each other to be able to masturbate in front of one another. He likes to watch you tend to yourself, showing him all the ways in which you liked to be touched as he does the same for you. This usually happens in the beginning stages of your relationship, but he still enjoys doing it when you guys are deep into your relationship or even when you are married.

Face sitting!!!! Face sitting drives this man fucking insane! He loves having his head between your thighs, your pussy sopping wet and waiting for his tongue and mouth. He likes feeling you shake and try to grab onto him when he eats you out like this. And the sounds you let out makes him so weak, he can’t help but let out long groans of satisfaction at each little sound you make.

Light spanking. I say light because he doesn’t really want to hurt you at all but he still wants to spank you a bit. The man has big ass, heavy ass, thick ass hands that are bound to leave more than just a little mark on you if he spanks you. He is very cautious when he spanks you and mainly adds it into foreplay rather than doing it during the actual act of sex.

He has a pretty big impregnation kink. He wants to cum deep inside you, giving you everything he has before pulling out and plugging you up with his fingers. He likes the thought of it potentially getting you pregnant even though he pretty much knows it won’t since you’re on a pretty good protection plan but he still likes to hope. It’s a huge turn on for him, having you carry his child. He doesn’t know where he picked up such a kink from but I’m sure it’ll never fade.

Did I mention he’s an ass man? This man just… loves your ass so much. He loves kissing it, biting it, spanking it, and dare I fucking say he likes eating it as well. Just anything to do with your ass, he wants to drown himself in it. Even out of the bedroom, he likes to lay on your ass or give it a little squeeze or a pinch every now and again.

Loves leaving love marks on your thighs and ass! Can’t forget that. It makes him so hot seeing all his little love marks littered over your thighs. He likes to place kisses on them after sex or run his fingers along them. Doing so almost always gets him back in the mood and ready to make some more.

How could I forget thigh riding?!?! Please ride his thigh, it’s so sexy to him. Especially when you’re desperate and needy to get off. It’s like his way of teasing you. He’ll have you sit on his thigh, completely naked and already dripping for him. He’ll instruct you on how fast you’re allowed to go and when you’re allowed to cum. As you’re riding his thigh he’ll play with your nipples, bringing one into his mouth and sucking on it as his hands fondle your ass or your clit. It’s such an intense experience, especially when he makes you look at him when you cum.

[hugsfromdad]

Hey kids,

How is everyone?

It's been a long time since I've done a check-in post and I've recently been feeling a real need to reconnect with all of you on here.

TLDR: my life is really busy and crazy and theater hasn't been good for me but I'm surviving. I miss y'all sm and want to hear from you. Whether it's anon, message, comment, or reblog. I have next to no freetime rn, but i really want to reconnect and am gonna try my best to be present on here more.💗

My life update: I've been so enjoying not being on instagram and just focusing on myself, healing and growing, and the few real relationships I have outside of social media. However, it's been hard cause I realized just how few close friends i actually have and the desperate need I have for friends who live nearby me. My two current best friends live 3.5 hours away, and in Colorado... So not someone i can hit up to have supper with and get a hug from when im having a tough day. And ive been having quite a few of those recently.

Joining theater has been...an experience. My mum has helped me to realize that i joined this production with expectations of making new friends.... Those expectations, as low as i thought they were, were wrong. It's like being in a ridiculously intense class with kids who already all know each other. It's not a clique, and I'm not being excluded, but it's like trying to break into a world where i dont even speak their language, and I'm still deciding if i really even want to.

I've been spending 3-4 days a week, 3hrs+ (sometimes 10hrs) per day with these people, for now 2 months--and I still dont know more than 3ish facts about the majority of them. A couple of them i have been able to get closer to-- but only because I found a time outside of practice hours to get to know them.

This has been really difficult for me. A lot about this situation is triggering for me and bringing me back to my bad years when I knew and spent time with a lot of people, but felt really alone and had no friends... So, it gets kind of scary when im already having a bad day and i go to practice. I have to be really careful and intentional of staying on the road when I drive home because my suicidalness kicks back in real strong...yeah, it's that bad. But I'm being careful and open with my mum and therapist about this all.

On good days, I kind of maybe consider doing this again. But in actuality... I dont want to. I'm not really having fun and I don't want to put myself through this again. I dont have a passion for this and I would need some really good, close (location-wise and friendship-wise) friends in my life, and in theater, to be able to enjoy doing this again.

So yeah... That's THAT whole situation. I'm counting the days til it's over... 20. Closing night is on my birthday... Best present I could get. I really just want to have my life back from this. And i hate that I'm good at it and so the people there assume im having fun and gonna want to do this again.. And, worst of all assumptions; that im carefree and happy-- lol.

So thats pretty unfortunate, but I'm at least getting another really good learning experience, and I cannot tell yall how fucking proud of myself i am for doing this. This is a big deal and I threw myself in the deep end and it turns out im actually good at swimming--even if I dont like it.

When it comes to my personal life (what's that?) It boils down to: I need friends. I'm trying to find people close in location to me... But, because my soul is currently owned by the theater, I cant do much at all. I am trying tho.

I tried a few dating apps... Oof. Ew no. I hate dating apps and I hated every moment on there. Not finding people really and its pretty sucky, but my therapist keeps reminding me that it's not me, it's my difficult situations throughout life that's kept me from finding people to date. There was one person I matched with who I was talking to for a bit, but then they havent replied to me for 2 days now, so im hoping everything is okay, but I'm kinda used to being ghosted at this point. Ill finding someone tho. Its gotta happen.

I'm pursuing my transition more-- hopefully I'll be starting testosterone soon and I'm looking into surgeons now and saving my money with a mindset towards top surgery within a year... We'll see. But its super exciting. My theater director (who is really bipolar and freaks me out some, but seems to adore me) put a stubble beard on me with makeup yesterday cause I had mentioned wanting a beard once i got on testosterone. It nearly made me cry and I couldnt stop smiling. I wore it home and hated taking it off before bed. I really really want a beard and im so fucking close, it's giving me strength.

My music and writing and painting and all other things have come to a screeching halt since starting theater, but i have a ton of inspiration that's built up over the past couple months that I'm super excited to unleash it the moment I'm free of this commitment. Im already working on a musical about this whole experience joining theater that I think would be really good. And I really want to finish my books and get them out there. We shall see what happens.

I love you all so much and my heart constantly goes out to you all and all of your experiences and struggles. I want to be here with you and laugh and cry, morn and celebrate together. Hopefully more of the good, tho.

Please feel free to reach out to me, even though I haven't been active at all on here. Message/anon me about your life, or questions, updates, celebrations, jokes, good pickup lines for me to use on my best friend as soon as his cruise is over and I can spam him again (holy shit I miss him so much @jamesboii please come home soon). Or like just reach out and say hello-- it might take me a day to reply, but i will.

Love y'all so much, sorry for this long blurp about my life. But i just wanted to post something and try to reconnect.

What do y'all want to see me posting? Im down to try new things. ✌

Sending hugs and love,

💕-dad

[mysticmikalla]

Dear GodMikalla, please hear me! Jumin and Unknown (feel free to add others if you're up to it ≖ᴗ≖ ) misunderstanding that MC is cheating on them?? *scandalized gasp* thanks

I hear you! First request for Unknown :o  I’m not sure if this is for Dark!Saeran or Unknown from Casual and Deep story, but I’ll write it as Unknown from CS! 

I feel like im always apologizing for making these hcs too damn long so I’ll just…accept the fact that I can’t write short hcs :/

anyway i hope yall enjoy!

***

Jumin

If you had told him two years ago that another person could mess with his head like this, he’d quietly chuckle and shake it off, thinking how utterly pathetic is was to allow someone else to control them 

He used to foolishly believe he was in charge of his own emotions, feeling only what he wanted to feel

But as he sat on the living room couch, alone and wondering where you disappeared to every Thursday evening, he realized that he could not have been more wrong

He felt as if he was going to be sick

Jumin’s heart dropped and bile pooled in his stomach whenever you could come home late and blatantly lie about your whereabouts

He had never been particularly attentive towards people’s emotions, but goddammit, he could read yours as if they were his favorite book

With each lie that rolled of your tongue, Jumin felt sicker

His mind ran through the worst case scenarios a million times; they all featured you with someone else, gasping and moaning an unfamiliar name as you had previously done only for him

He had witnessed it many times, wondering why people would stay in a relationship that no longer made them happy, but now he understood

The business man couldn’t bring himself to confront you about it in fear that you confirmed his darkest thoughts

Not wanting to disrupt things, he let these thoughts eat him from the inside, allowing them to make him grow weaker and affect nearly every single aspect of his life, especially his work productivity

He couldn’t even find it in him to touch you, despite wanting to claim you as his once more

What if you called someone else’s name instead of his?

This dragged on for a few weeks, until finally he couldn’t think about anything but your face, flushed with pleasure under someone else, and he could feel it start driving him insane 

So that’s what brought him to sit on the living couch on a Thursday night, waiting for you to get home

Not the wine or his precious cat could ease his mind as he tapped impatiently on the arm rest, watching the minutes tick by

He wasn’t sure if his stomach fluttered with relief or concern when you finally showed up, wearing exactly what you had in the afternoon, only your attire seemed to be a little messier 

“Hey,” you greeted your fiancé, “You’re up late.”

He didn’t reply

His eyes were fixated on your untucked shirt tail, his heart clenching at the sight 

“What were you doing?” You asked, hanging your jacket on the hanger by the door

Standing up, he slowly made his way towards you, “I could ask you the same thing,” He towered over your much smaller frame, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear ever so gently, “What were you doing out so late?”

You didn’t hesitate or stutter when you gave him your answer, but he knew you were lying

He knew that you were, in fact, not out jogging with your friend. Not when there was a huge indoor gym at the penthouse, and not when he had called said friend who confirmed you weren’t with them

“Please don’t lie to me,” he begged in a murmur, pulling you in for a hug and burying his face in your hair, “You smell like cologne.”

“Jumin-”

“Please don’t lie to me, MC.” He repeated, and  you could detect a small falter in his voice

“I told you, I was out with-”

“Then why did they tell me they had no idea where you were, just a few minutes ago?” He was weak when it came to you. Years of learning self-control were wasted as he felt a sting in the corner of his eye, the smell of sweat mingling with cologne was toxic to the raven-haired man as he hugged you tighter

“Jumin, hold on. I can’t breathe,” you pulled away, looking up at your husband’s troubled face, “You called my friend?”

“Yes,” He admitted, “Why are you lying to me?”

“I-”

“Who are you sneaking around with behind my back?” He dropped his hands from your cheek, the words being said out loud making his thoughts a reality

“What are you saying?” You frowned. His accusation felt like a cold slap to your face

“MC…Who are you cheating on me with?” He held your gaze, such conviction lingering in those dark eyes of his that you were forced to look away

Jumin took that as a confession of guilt, and his own gaze dropping when he felt the punch of betrayal hit him deep in the gut

Those seconds before you spoke again were easily the most agonizing he had ever experienced, and more than anything he wished to be the man devoid of emotions everyone claimed he was

Being heartless was sure as hell easier than having one ripped away

“I’m not-I’m not cheating on you!” You stuttered, taking a step forward and taking your hand in his. He didn’t pull back, hating himself for relishing the warmth of your tiny hands in his larger ones, “Hey, look at me. Why would you think that?”

“I’m no fool, MC,” He seethed, “You’re  sneaking off and refuse to tell me where to, you’ve been lying to me even though we promised to always be honest with each other,” He squeezed your hand, “You come home late smelling like another man.”

As you took in his words, your chest eased and a graduate smile filled your lips

“I can’t understand why you would smile right now.”

Cupping his cheek, you told him “Dance lessons.”

“What?”

You caressed his cheek with your thumb, noting how unusually fragile he looked under your touch, “I’ve been taking dance lessons to prepare for our wedding.”

“Mc,” He breathed, “What are you-Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” You laughed, “I’ll never forget how you limped for days after the first RFA party, I’d be mortified if I did that during our first dance as your wife.”

His shoulders visibly relaxed when your words sunk in and the wave of relief washed over him

All the worries and cruel thoughts he convinced himself of  your infidelity with seemed so silly now, and of course you wouldn’t ever do anything like that

He pulled you in his arms again, a deep sigh he felt he had been holding in for weeks now escaping his lips, “You don’t understand-” He murmured, “You can’t understand how worried I was.”

You nuzzled into his chest, “You know I would never-”

“I know, my love, and I’m sorry I accused you,” he said, “I just couldn’t stop thinking about you finding someone else, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you softened, “I probably really did look suspicious, huh?”

“I may have overreacted,” he kissed the top of your head, “But, please…no more surprises, okay?”

“No more surprises.” You agreed

Unknown

He was fucking furious

It didn’t come much as a surprise to you when he barged in, eyes frantically scanning the room until they met with yours

You merely raised an eyebrow at your lover, wondering what would have ticked him off this time

The first few months with him felt like Russian Roulette, what sent him off the edge one day could make him fall into a fit of laughter the next

His emotions were so volatile, it was often hard to tell what he was thinking

But by now you were used to his tantrums, and you knew exactly how to soothe him

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” He fumed, taking long strides towards you. You tilted your head, replaying all your recent interactions to pinpoint exactly what was troubling him

He smacked down a picture on the table in front of you with such force, you instinctively took his hand in yours to see if they were hurt

But as if your touch burned him, he shook you off before you could check, nodding towards the photo

“Explain that.”

The picture was nothing more than a low-quality CCTV capture of you embracing a man outside his apartment, his back to the camera and a smile plastered on your face

“What am I supposed to be explaining, exactly?”

He laughed bitterly, “Hm, I don’t know, how about…The fact that you were with another man late last night when you were suppose to be with me? Or the fact that I literally just caught you touching him the way you’re only supposed to touch me?”

“Saeran-” You reached for him but he took a step away from you

“I don’t even want to hear your excuses,” he threw his arms up, “I just wanted you to know that I know, and that I’m fucking done.”

He stormed out of the room before you could defend yourself, leaving you and your sunken heart alone

Saeran wouldn’t answer your calls or return your texts, and since he practically knew of your whereabouts at all times, avoiding you was easy

It had been four days, the longest you two had been without seeing each other since you got together, and what you had first dismissed as one of his usual tantrums now flooded your mind with worry

To you, it was ridiculous that he’d get that angry over something so petty, but you knew his mind. You knew how utterly insecure he was despite the confident persona, and fear that he would do something stupid haunted you into sleepless nights

Your heart contracted painfully in your chest as you replayed the look of betrayal and hurt in his eyes, wishing there something you could do to rid him of such emotions

Groaning, you hung up before his voice mail message could play for the hundredth time 

You were positive he had either blocked you or deleted your number, because if only he read your texts or listened to your pleas, he’d understand 

“Saeran, come on!” You whined to your phone, tossing it on your bed in a fit of frustration

You slumped in your seat, wondering how you could get a hold of someone so untouchable 

“Unbelievable.” You muttered to yourself, glancing aimlessly around the room

Your eyes were met with the tiny camera he had installed-after lots and lots of arguing- for your protection

One look at that camera and you knew, you knew he was watching

It was as if you could feel his gaze burning into you through the lenses, so you grabbed a pen and scribbled on some paper

Saeran watched with confusion as you waved at the camera, furious at himself that he couldn’t seem to take his eye off you for even a second ever since he stormed off

You pointed at the paper, knowing that the footage didn’t capture audio

‘WATCH THE REST OF THE FOOTAGE, YOU DUMB HACKER’

He rolled his eyes, how dared you call him dumb when you were clearly in the wrong?

How fucking dared you even try to explain yourself when he had caught you so shamelessly deceiving him?

Nonetheless, he replayed the footage of you walking with the mysterious man he already despised 

Why were you telling him to watch it again? Were you purposely trying to hurt him? Was this payback for the way he treated  you  at the beginning of your relationship? Were you trying-oh

As he watched you and the man cut off the embrace, his seething anger turned into embarrassment when the man walked away, finally facing the camera where he could identify him

He glanced over the live CCTV footage of you in your room, where you held up another sign

‘THAT’S MY FATHER’

It was him now who slumped back in his chair, overwhelming relief coming out as a laugh

Running a hand through his hair, he cursed under his breath, “Goddammit.”

He mustered the courage to call you back, watching the CCTV as you picked up instantly

“You need to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” He asked oh-so-innocently

“Assuming the worst all the time,” You huffed, “Have some more faith in me!”

“I can’t help it,” he shrugged, putting his feet up on the desk and leaning further into his chair, “It’s how you rid yourself of disappointment.”

“That’s not true,” he could see you frown, “And you gotta start giving yourself some more credit. I’d have to be dumb to cheat on a hacker like you.”

“You are.”

“Just,” you laughed, pinching the bridge of your nose and ignoring his remark, “Get over here already, okay?”

“I’m busy.”

He didn’t even have to glance at the screen to know your eyes rolled back, “Stop playing so hard to get, I’ll be waiting.”

And with that, you hung up, hoping that he’d show despite your confident words that he would

But, Goddammit, it was a no-brainer

Of course he’d show

[archangel-zadkiel]

All these people jumping my ass on my fb page bc i say i felt like my home wasnt home that i wanted to leave and i felt trapped.

People literally jumping my ass bc i dont know how good i have it. After i word it as "i know i aint got know right to complain" just because someone has it good at home does not mean theyre gonna be happy. Just because someones family loves them to death doesnt mean they cant have a hard time being near them.

My life with my folks is extremely suffocating. They treat me like im a child because i have some disabilities. Which yes i understand theyre doing to protect me. Yes i understand theyre doing because theyre worried. But i want to live my life to the fullest. I want to live where the grass is greener on the other side. If you leave a grazing animal in one pasture for too long it will get sick and die. I have been in this pasture for too long. Ive lived with my parents for about 22-23 years. I lived with my ex for about 2. I am suffocating in this environment. I have no friends here besides one person who lives a long way a way and we hardly ever talk. So technically i have no one. But i am being belittled and ridiculed for wishing to leave my current life and house because my parents dont trust my boyfriend enough. I know theyre doing this out of concern but theyre hurting me in the process and that is not how you should care for someone. Caring for someone should not involve hurting them. Making them cry. Causing them to wish for death. The last one may seem a bit far fetched but its true. My life has become such a toxic environment for me that ive almost committed twice.

I told my mom and she threatened to have me committed to a hospital instead of asking a simple "what can i do to help you feel better honey" and i dont think thats right.

Im tired of living here. It doesnt feel like home. People on my fb page "you know your mom and dad love you" thats not what i said "you know theyd do anything in the world for you" THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID "you dont know what youre saying your parents take damn good care of you and you should be thankful and feel bad for even saying things like this" you think it doesnt hurt me to say my house doesnt feel like home. You think it doesnt hurt me to know im not listened to? To know that i cant do what i want to do on my own til my parents are deceased? Because thats basically what they said 'and i quote' "you can do all those things after we're dead and gone" it hurts me greatly to know they think like that. To the people on my face book commenting like they know what my heart and mind are going through. Tellin me that i treat my parents like shit. Telling me that i basically dont deserve parents like them. To my aunt darlene. To my neighbor wilma. Fuck you. Im not sorry for saying what i said back to yall. You did offend me. You filled me with so much hate that i said what i said and meant what i said. And i do not enjoy....being a hateful person. So fuck you. And fuck you again. Good night

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I ripped up my pop-up laundry basket because I was so pissed that somebody or even the delivery stole my 2 boxes of pizza and the cheese bread off of our front porch and I paid dominos $30 for it.

I had to call them to see if he dropped it off at the wrong house or just didn't pay attention. Cause I came downstairs to check at 4:55 and nothing was there, then I went back outside at 5:00, still nothing....opposite to what my dominos tracker said.

And I bought this fucking pizza to make my day because I was so tired, depressed, and sick of being reminded of Jay while watching porn, changing videos that it made me cry because of how she used to sexually reject in the middle of us having sex and then would tell Ayunna to do my work just because I made one mistake or just really wanted to just sit there and watch. I don't understand what made her so non-interactive with me sexually even though she was the one who always initiated. And she acted like she hated the idea of me even touching in any kind of way without her permission, but it was okay if she touched me innappropiately or harassed me at their place?

She's a sicko, a sicko psycho.

And mom, not even giving a fuck that someone stole the food I was finna share pissed me off even further. She goes, "well, at least it will help you save money. You don't need to be buying no food anyway."

Bitch stfu.

And then Dominos actually thinking I'm the one lying about this. We've ordered food and bought pizza from them for years and this is the 1st time that we've ever got our delivery food stolen. Like wtffffff.

And mom knows good and damn well if I would have said that to her if one of her Amazon Packages got stolen, she would have cussed me out or told me to shut up.

She so fucking rude and I really don't wanna move out to no bummy ass looking apartment when I move out, just because the prices are so fucking in the area I'm trying to move into.

I don't wanna move to a different city with the same issue? Bitch if somebody steal anything from me, packages, mail, food, I pop the fuck off and mom was so nonchalant and passive about it, even when I asked her to check the ring camera to see if anyone took it.

It don't add up to me how there was barely anyone outside and the one day I order pizza because I feel unhappy, I get this fucking news and that bitches mouth.

Dominos gave me partial money back and kept the $4 tip. I'm still pissed because I don't believe or understand how can my food get stolen less than 5 min from what it said on the app, unless he arrived earlier than what it said 🤔

And nobody told me what time he came. He didn't even ask me was I alright. Talking about "well believe you this time. But we're not coming back."

Like WTFFF I GOT MY PIZZA TOOK AND NOW YOU WANNA BE A SMARTASS ABOUT ME STILL EVEN WANTING TO ORDER MORE

FUCK YOU, FUCK MOMS SARCASTIC, EGOMANIAC MOUTH, FUCK THIS HOUSE, FUCK THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, AND FUCK THIS PTSD THAT STOPS ME FROM ENJOYING PORN AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN.

IM TIRED OF THIS FUCKING JOB MARKET THATS SO DAMN CRITICAL IN JOB EXPERIENCE AND PROGRAMS.

BITCH IF I GOT 6YRS EXPERIENCE AND I GOT MY BACHELOR’S WTFFFFF IS GOING ON IN HR

THEY ACT LIKE 6YRS AINT WORTH SHIT IF YOU DONT HAVE EXACTLY TO THE FUCKING T OF WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

AND MOM AND DAD THINKS ITS SO FUCKING EASY FOR ME TO JUST APPLY AND WAIT FOR ANOTHER FUCKING JOB, ONLY FOR THEIR PRIVILEGED, SUPPRESSING, CORPORATE ASSES TO TELL ME NO.

IVE BEEN WAITTTTTING SINCE JANNUUUUUUAAAARRRRRYYYYYYYT MMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFF

SO HOW THE FUCK YOU SAY I CAN JUST APPLY HERE AND THERE AND EVERYWHERE IN FUCKING WACKED OUT MICHIGAN WITHOUT SOMEBODY SAYING "WE FOUND BETTER, QUALIFIED CANDIDATES"

Like as if my own life history on this fucking resume doesn't mean shit to them. Makes me think I went to school and did dual enrollment to get out quicker, for nothing 🙃

Wtf is wrong with this world. It's exactly why I say fuck Michigan economy. Now I gotta work factory just to even save up for a car, rent is high af, student loans finna come find my ass, and I don't have a girlfriend because I'm trying to wait till I have an affordable apartment and a car that won't break down on me on the highway in the middle of us driving to Vancouver.

Driving school is only $500. But in order for me to save up for a car, I gotta stay in a $600 or less place cause otherwise imma have to wait a whole entire year to save up for a car, the insurance, gas, and the maintenance costs by the end of next year...so no...fuck that.

With this fucking salary, I'm basically feel like shit because my own fucking friend who's middle class and actually stayed longer to get her masters after I graduated....is already banking a better job, work from home, and I hate complaining to Her about my worries.

And she's the one that inspired me to even go back for the masters. Because they treat you like secondhand condom shit just for having a Bachelor’s. Like it ain't good enough no more. Then when you try to apply to places for the experience that you needed to work another job that denied you, you still get denied by them too because they said your major doesn't match and why you wanna work here if you studied this?

CAUSE YALLL AINT GOT NO JOBS FOR WTF I STUDIED STOP READING FUCKING EVERYTHING SUSAN. I AINT GOT TIME TO EVEN ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT THAT

it's like they really don't care in the 1st place, they just wanna know if you qualify and half the time I be lying about why I wAnNA wOrK hErE because yall cats read into people shit and judge them for just trying to make a living just to even have a place to stay and eat healthy food so a bitch can find better partners than the fuckbois and users on tinder.

I'm soooooo damn tired of being judged, mocked, criticized, and being rejected. And then the past mocking me about old rejections that I'm still waiiiiittttttiiingggggg for me to heal from. A year or nor, my heart still feels like it's January, thinking about everything and why did I block Jay when they reached out?

I was afraid that she would have just lied to me again, pushed me away even harder because I had already left, and then blocked me after. When I'm the one who chose to leave, I'm the one who is hurt, why did they always make it seem like my pain came last to their pain. Like it was always about serving them, doing what they said, what they wanted just because they were the couple, and took over every God Damn thing, and kept pushing me away, neglecting my emotions, manipulating and etc.

I don't even wanna talk about the same shit that happened anymore. But my brain does, my heart does. Because I remember everything. My heart can't make the pain go away, but I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of crying about it and I hate that people in this house can trigger my actions to tear up shit, scream at the top of my lungs like a damn scarecrow on DragonBall Z, I'm tired of mom triggering me to think she hates my actions and the way that I think say or do something she doesn't agree about or care about, so she comments on everything little thing she despises.

When I'm already struggling to be happy. She does not give a fuck. And I bet if I told her I was feeling suicidal holding that wire from the laundry basket in my hand, feeling manic so I strangled my palms, my knuckles, and squeezed the crap out of that wire hoping it would make me forget about ripping up that piece of shit hamper, and make the irritation, that need to strangle somebody, something to make this itch go away to attack my mother with my words and tell her TO HURT HER OWN GOD DAMN FEELINGS INSTEAD OF KEEP HURTING MINE, YOU ARROGANT, COCKY ASS SON OF A BITCH AND I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO TO ME. PIERCING IN MY FUCKING BACK, THE DRY ASS, PETTY ASS RESPONSES TO WHEN IM GOING THROUGH SHIT.

BUT LET ME SAY ONE LITTLE THING ABOUT YOU OR EVEN TALK ABOUT GRANDMA YO ASS ACT LIKE I JUST SINNED AND CURSED YO NAME OUT.

SO YOU GET A HISSY FIT AND TELL ME STOP TALKING OR TO SHUT UP.

QUIT TELLING ME TO SHUT UP HOE

I HAVE NO PLACE TO GO BUT HERE AND IM NOT FINNA SUFFER THROUGH THIS BY MYSELF. IM BUYING ME SOME FUCKING PIZZA AND YOU WILL NOT DRIVE MY ASS CRAZY AGAIN.

I'm sick of the ptsd episodes and I'm sick of waiting on other people to give me what I need, so if she got something to say about it, imma let her fucking have it. Cause I'm sick and tired of holding my mouth for her, and her ordering me to shut up, while she gets to sat however she fucking feels about each and little she feels the need to pick at.

Let her country, dumbass catch this heat. Imma bounce it right back to her and she ain't gonna like it. And I don't care if she wants me to just tolerate it anymore, she gon end up dead in her heart too if ever tried to kill me like she did that night in March. She showed no mercy, no remorse, and no she had not stood by her promise to make our relationship work as mother and daughter. She just said that so she didn't have to feel like a dick for her own daughter leaving her out the picture by going to her other mother, the one who understood her sensitivities and actually listened to my needs.

And that was Grandma Clara Jamison.

I hate to say it but, God why? Why did both of my grandma's have to fade. My other grandma don't even remember who I am. And If I talk to my own mom, about her mom, and say that she won't care to comfort me at all. She'll just angry that I made her feel bad because of my emotional response.

So I don't tell her anything. Cause my mom reminds me of how the terrible twins responded to me about being too sensitive, too emotional, to where they even blocked me and abandoned me. Made me suffer alone.

Just like my own mother is doing now, and it's driving my ass crazy. That she's them. Not my ex, but a narcissistic asshole, the bipolar freak who flips out and I can't come to her when I'm in pain, sadness, depression, or grief, anger even.

Because she ridicules me for having a strong feeling about something that doesn't matter. So she talks shit, goes away, or pushes me away when I try telling her in my most vulnerable state.

Which is when I'm crying or about to cry. I can't even come to my own mother about giving up and moving away to the mountains or a cabin or just committing suicide with pain pills. But she doesn't think about that. She doesn't think that her constant neglecting me, is showing me, I can't trust her.

And that's exactly how I did Jay, and walked away.

I'm there for you, but you're not there for me?

I'm out.

And I'm tired of just giving and getting hurt in return because you don't care about the situation that I'm in, nor do you care to listen.

So don't get all I'm ready to come whoop yo.ass or call the police on me again, just because I didn't answer my phone. You hurt me momma, repeatedly and you show out every so.often and I'm tired of getting disappointed and crying by myself because you don't come check on me when I isolate myself from you in the house. My back hurts everytime she does that, cause she triggers a memory that I can't forget.

I could have hit my head, got a concussion, or even broke my neck if I didn't catch my fall and pushed you back, because you decides that night Kylee doesn't get to talk. You came at me yelling and pushing and thought that I would just take that fall down those metal basement steps for you and that everything would go back to normal the next day?

Like that fight you had with Dad just last week where you punched him in his nose, screaming and cussing at him over you being in pain and him not showing you enough care. So you hit him anyway, then he puts you in chokehold and me and my sisters are supposed to just forget that anything happened???

We have to process all the crazy, toxic shit yall do to us or in front of us BY OURRRSEELLLVESSSS

My lil sister is 18 and was trying to stop a 6'1 grown man from beating yo.ass up. And on top of that, the same grown man was pushing me back too on my own chest.

But we're supposed to just go back to normal, assemble the stage, make yall two feel happy after yall so called talked it our when literally 3 days ago, yall slept in different places, dad at his dead moms house in grand Rapids, you at a hotel.room for a different night, and him on the couch after he came back.

Whyyy the fuck are yall so damn passive about this shit, but if I bring it up or even ask about Grandma, my ass get handed to.

He's not fine. Yall are not okay. It shouldn't be imma put my hands on you just because you pissed me off and you're supposed to love me tomorrow, no matter how much I scar you or hurt your face.

Like brainwashing, forced brainwashing to accept that shit is okay. as long as i never say anything about it, I'm not in trouble or receive neglect.

Yall are the most manipulative people I ever met. And Dominos I want my $4 back too mf. Tip should come back too.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

OK I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT, I HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING

CW: chubby fem reader, reader is a camgirl, male and female masturbation, not beta read bc im a gremlin sksksk

Nanami is content being single and living alone. He doesn't have to worry about changing his habits or accommodating ridiculous requests.

But at the end of the day, he's still human. He still gets lonely and wishes he could hold someone in the late hours of the night, feel heat resonate from another loving being and warm his heart.

So he caves and resorts to porn, helping keep his mind off of his empty bed. He doesn't use it often, but it's there when he needs it which is helpful.

Recorded videos turn to live feeds which leads him to a camgirl site. It's all just okay, nothing to write home about, nothing really catches his eye until he sees you.

You are, to put it lightly, the most gorgeous woman he's even seen. Your body was perfectly plump: your breasts, arms, hips, waist, thighs, they were all plush pillows that he wanted to nuzzle against and sink his teeth into. Nanami always considered himself to be a calm and composed individual, but if he saw you in public, he was certain he would have no choice but to swallow his pride and ask you on a date.

He became a regular viewer, tuning in to your weekly livestream, settling down with a glass of wine every Saturday night to enjoy your seductive show. You wore a mask to hide your identity, the upper half of your face covered so well that Nanami couldn't even see your eyes. You unabashedly showed off every other inch of your lush body, every stretch mark and indent made by cellulite. Your voice was precious, casual, a playful tone turning high pitched and desperate once you started to touch yourself.

Nanami had developed a habit of donating money to you, spending thousands of dollars over the last few months. He would be embarrassed if any of his colleagues found out about his new pastime, but he couldn't help himself. You would thank him so sweetly for donations and would squeal with delight when you opened up the gifts he bought from your wishlist. He loved seeing your plump lips spread wide into a joyful smile, hearing your cute voice chirp happily as you help up the new babydoll he had gotten you. He never cared about the money he spent: in his mind, it was always money well spent if he got to see how happy you became as a result.

You were perfect, a diamond in the rough, and he wished he could pamper you in real life, treating you like the queen you were. But this was still satisfying, seeing you put on a show for thousands late in the evening.

You had several goals for your stream, and once a goal was met you would take a request from your viewers. Usually the highest donation had higher priority, but you always did your best to be fair. Nanami, being the selfish bastard he was, always tried to be the highest bidder so you would listen to his requests. He knew the rest of the chat hated when he donated, taking up all your attention and making you feel things that no other donater could, but he didn't care. You were the only one that mattered to him.

Tonight was no different than your usual streams. You had received hundreds of dollars so far, resulting in a dildo stuffed into your cunt, a vibrator on your clit. The chat was going wild, leaving Nanami with a bitter taste in his mouth.

take-this-dick101: you gonna cum slut??

Sugar_Daddy_92: You're so pretty, babygirl

NineInchMan: wanna make you squirt all over my cock

Nanami hated the chat more than anything. He hated how they spoke to you, treating you like an object, like a toy. You looked over the chat, giggling breathily.

"Yall are gross."

You didn't respond to their resulting derogatory comments, your thighs tensing as you spread them further, bucking your hips up into your hand. Nanami felt his cock twitch in his sweats, desperate to cum with you, to cum inside you. He bit his cheek, holding off his desire to jerk off until after your stream when he could fully enjoy himself without missing a moment of your show. He licked his lips, typing quickly as he watched slick leak out of your cunt.

Chef_Ken_73: Please cum, darling. You deserve it. You deserve everything.

He heard your breath hitch a moment after the message sent, a cute hiccup leaving your throat before your moaned loudly, voice raising in pitch.

"K-Keeeen!"

Nanami was caught off guard, his cock throbbing before he suddenly came, clenching his fists as he hunched over, groaning as he released in his boxers. He didn't have time to feel embarrassed or ashamed of cumming just from hearing you moan his name: he was too busy watching your body jolt and shake, still cumming on your toys.

You came down from your high eventually, turning off your vibrator before tossing it away from you, panting harshly, your busty chest heaving as you regained your composure. Nanami was just as disheveled as you, and he hadn't even touched his cock yet. You pulled out the dildo, gasping when it was released with a loud squelch from your cunt. You giggled sweetly, bringing the toy to your lips, licking up your creamy cum.

"Fucking hell," Nanami groaned, shuddering as he felt another aftershock from his orgasm. You sat up, smiling at the camera as you read the chat. Your face fell soon though, leaving Kento concerned.

"Wait... I didn't moan someone's name... did I?"

xX_Good_Boy_Xx: sooooooo hot 🥵💦💕

take-this-dick101: who tf is ken

Daddybigdick69: You got a boyfriend we don't know about?

"Oh, pooh," you mumbled, curling into yourself, pouting sadly. "I'm sorry you guys; I wasn't even thinking. I guess I just said a bit of the last username I saw. I didn't mean any harm." You pressed your index fingertips against each other, your pout turning remorseful. "Is there any way you guys could forgive me?"

Nanami chuckled softly, watching the chat explode as a few small donations rolled in. They all forgave you, of course, making you smile happily.

"Thanks you guys. I really appreciate it." You leaned forward towards the camera, blowing a kiss before reaching out for it. "See you next week~"

The stream ended and Nanami sighed, folding his arms against the coffee table and resting his head on it.

You had said—no, moaned—his name. Sure, you probably didn't intend to do it, but regardless, he was so giddy about it. Never in a million years did he think you would do something like that. He could feel his cock ache as he thought about your cries, playing them on repeat in his head before his computer dinged quietly.

Nanami blinked, sitting up to stare at the screen. He had gotten a notification, a message from someone. He furrowed his brow, clicking on his inbox, his heart pounding when he saw a familiar username.

pretty_plump_princess: hi!!! I apologize for saying your username during stream! It was a heat of the moment kind of thing, i hope i didn't weird you out ^^;

Nanami was sure his heart skipped a beat. You sent him a message; you had messaged him. He stared at the message for a long minute, swallowing thickly as he typed back a reply.

Chef_Ken_73: You didn't. In fact, it was a very pleasant surprise.

He thought that would be the end of it, but his laptop dinged again a moment later.

pretty_plump_princess: really?? Whew, that's good lmao I'm glad i didn't freak you out but im worried that my other fans might send you hate!! They can be really possessive, im sorry :/

She's so cute, Nanami thought, smiling softly as he wrote another reply.

Chef_Ken_73: You have nothing to apologize for. We all make mistakes.

He once again thought that the conversation would end there, but he was given another reply.

pretty_plump_princess: wellllllllll.... between u and me, i didn't say it on accident uwu

Nanami's eyes widened.

"Wha—"

pretty_plump_princess: ANYWAYS IM GONNA GO SHOWER NOW HAVE A GOOD NIGHT BYEEEEEE

The green dot next to your icon disappeared. You had logged off, leaving Kento alone to stew in his thoughts. He kept reading your messages over and over, analyzing every small detail, trying to make sense of it all. The thought of you thinking about him as you masturbated sent shivers down his spine, heat dropping to his—

Shit. He forgot he came in his pants. He needed to get out of them and get them washed before they stained. Perhaps he could continue his thoughts about you during a nice hot shower.

Oh to be the cute chubby camgirl that Nanami watches every week 💕