#im so going down this rabbithole as well

[floaromaxtowns]

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

[divinit3a]

For the ask game 💕

💕 Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom? ⭑ dca au ask game

^-^ ....OK! I shall set down all the cakes on the table for a full buffet! Get your forks & knives out! 🍽️🍽️🍽️

please don't hesitate to let me know if you'd prefer not to be @'d in the future, or to be removed from this post u_u <3 I totally respect folk's preferences!

✨ lets go! ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑

@muzzlemouths Dead Mall Dare / DfTR AU(s) Dead Mall Dare was one of the first AUs I read (like, literally. 1-2 months ago!) & I went woooaaah they are fun removed from original context. Isn't that so neat ?? This isn't a rabbithole to fall in, tho. u_u No wayyy guys c'mon ... /j Likewise, DfTR is a treat to watch unfold & see people squirm ^-^

@r0b0-wannabe Botanical Garden AU (or just any of your stories, but I'm.. sticking to the law...s... ) Hi, I stayed up to 2-3am drawing ur boys bc Im normal about this AU & how endearing it is... obviously... (��) I love your writing style & characterizations. Maybe this is silly, but, I also enjoy learning about plantcare, too :3

@sinister-sincerely 2nd Choice AU Oh, you are so evil. The username matches. (A COMPLIMENT!! Hehe.) Oh, you write drama, angst/no comfort, hurting/damaged characters making awful choices so well. It was wild doing a double-take to realize YOU! are the WRITER for 2nd choice!! Some day, I will get u. For now, run 💜🔪

@wyervan Human!Slasher AU :D Yay! Both the OG/Main storyline are wonderful. I find the community version very endearing as an AU-within-an-AU. (love that!) As someone who used to run RP groups (on god!) it fills my heart with joy to see people filling out a world with so much life. Your art style is delightfully grungy ^-^/

@pluck-heartstrings - Pluck My Heartstrings AU Ohhh. I am weak to fairytale/renfaire vibes, as well as the more classic harlequin jester aesthetic u_u<3 Plus, the Vocalist/Princess is just so dang compelling, too. Your design sense is impeccable.

@moon-buggg Haunted House & Mad Scientist AUs They are both so neat & I can't wait to learn more!! The Haunted House AU designs live in my head rent free along with the comics :3

@zenkaiankoku Broken but Better AU Lovely, torn-up designs! Yay, mechanical horror! Yay, angst!! And a delightful remix of their personalities, too <3

@authormeat Alienware AU ^-^ I am instantly delighted by the weird guy freak energy & that the yn IS an alien/monster. Thats all I want & more. I also love ur designs for other AUs

...

...

...... 🧍 I Have More to Say

And...And... Not.. AU specific, but 🏏💥BAM , BAM 💥🏏 LOVELY FOLKS!!!!!!

🍲 <{ @soupdweller THERE IS NO ESCAPE ok but fr.. I appreciate ya, homie :3 you are a joy to chat with!! beautiful art!! evil mind!! delicious soups. i cant wait for whatever u cook up ^-^ 🐤 <{ @luckyyyduckyyy I WILL READ UR AU STORIES!! RUN & HIDE!!! you are the goofiest goober in the wild west, by goodness. i love ur energy and the gorgeous designs u create!! 🐛 <{ @chickenchirps27 ACK I COULD STARE AT UR ART FOREVER! I'll have to start volleying over illustrators I think ya might enjoy... u are so sweet & funny!! 🐐 <{ @lurking-loaf YOU ARE SO KIND! Seriously, I appreciate the fun craft projects you recommended -& your words of support :') 🔮 <{ @anis-sketches :D HI! Happy to throw recs your way. Also, your art is adorable!! 🌿 <{ @craykaycee HI TO U TOO!! the tags u leave always make me smile, and i appreciate u stopping by to say hi... :3 & MANYMANY MORE BUT I NEED TO CUT MYSELF OFF OR ELSE

Per usual, I lost sight of the original goal. But! Consider:

🏏💥WHAM , BAM 💥🏏 GOTCHU >:)

[silverislander]

i realized i had to actually know something about airships to write someone talking about airships and i am learning so much. did yall know we dont have blimps anymore! theres only 25 left in the world :(

writing the "caitlyn infodumping to vi" that i wish to see in the world

[brookiidookiii]

okay so i am having a lot of thoughts abt a killer elizabeth fnaf au.....

(in this au CC survived the bite of 83 but has permanent brain damage from the accident. michael never got scooped or changed his name)

im thinking mmmaybe elizabeth goes apeshit after learning that willy killed a few kids + charlie and murders then decides to murder him to avenge the kids. well elizabeths always been a little bit messed up even from childhood (like killing dead animals and the behavior was usually endorsed by william too) and this time she finalllllyyyy snaps and decides to actually do it then that leads her down a rabbithole of violent tendencies

and eventually she kinda gets driven to madness and needs to tell someone and she decides to go to henry bc she knows he hates william and tells him the truth that willy killed charlie (by now henry has abandoned the company and just makes animatronics as a side job). obv henrys pissed off and believes williams death is justified so he decides to help her cover it up so they stuff william in the spring bonnie suit and leave it behind a sealed off room to rot away

meanwhile because after a while william is pronounced death when nobody can find him and michael inherits the company against his will and is now the only owner of both fazbear entertainment AND afton robotics

basically kind of the evnts of sister location take place. michael goes into the weird underground place and finds old blueprints and realizes uh oh!!!! his dad is a psycho!!!! probably planning to kill kids with these robots!!! and then links the deaths of the 5 kids + charlie with william and comes to the conclusion ohhhhhhh so yeah he did it.

mike tries to contact CC (i call him evan buttttt yea) to ask him if he knows about any of this but CC basically is seperated from anything related to the afton family or fazbear so mike cant get in touch with him, so he goes to henry if he knew anything abt william being the killer and eventaully they meet up in person and henry tells him everything he knows and mike is just horrified beyond comprehension

basically he goes on the same journey of trying to find william but henry refuses to tell him the whereabouts of his location and just replies with stuff like "i cant tell you" or "its better if you didnt investigate" and mike gives up

soon after mikes got no clue what to do with freddys and needs money so he turns it into fazbears freights, finds springtrap but doesnt rlly theres a corpse inside and just thinks it smells from all those years of decaying, and decides to use it as display. while hes in the midst of construction and revamping, he doesnt have that much cash to hire a security guard so he decides to take up the position himself, and fnaf 3 happens from there

after that the rest of the timeline goes on. mike decides to reopen a new restaurant to lure springtrap and take him apart, and his original idea isnt to burn down the place, but instead, elizabeth hears that hes reopening a new restaurant, is infuriated, and burns it down herself with springtrap and mike inside, also killing herself in the fire as an act of suicide. henry kind of moved on from charlies death once he got total closure that will was dead and his death freed the spirits of all the kids

im stilllll working out the details idk if im gonna do anything with it (probably not) but i needed to get my thoughts out and have someway to make elizabeth follow in her fathers footsteps, intentionally or not

[nott-another-sideblog]

autistic! theo nott hcs because i want to

in first year he claimed a table at the library and sat at it so many times he couldnt sit anywhere else. one day he comes in to see some random sitting in 'his' seat and accidentally pops the poor lads inkpot out of rage. there was a hasty reparo from theo and a very quick exit after that

has broken so many quills from bending them between his fingers its unreal. he buys them in batches of ten or twenty and has broken all of them by terms end

hates getting his hair cut but also hates feeling his hair on the back of his neck. every month or so its a constant internal turmoil

really likes potions but hates touching the slimy ingredients so often ends up compromising with his partner with him doing the "boring stuff" like precise weighing or stirring to get out of touching the awful textures.

hates divination bcs there are no solid rules. the phrase "its up to interpretation" puts him into fight-or-flight mode

once stupefied someone as a reflex when they grabbed his shoulder. he was very deep into a good book and it scared the shit out of him. do not grab him ever

has learned how to use silencing charms that follow him so he doesnt have to hear the loud noises in the corridoors. this also makes it very hard to get his attention

uses sarcasm often but half of it is by accident. he just doesn't tell them its accidental

"hey, wanna go to x?"

"well. doesnt that sound exciting?"

"no need to get snarky, theo. i'm just saying it could be fun"

*was being completely serious* "fine, then. i suppose there's no harm in trying it"

brilliant poker face purely because he forgets to show emotion half the time in any way thats noticeable if you arent either used to it or looking for it

very twitchy. like, he cannot sit still. he can try. but it wont last long.

'quiet kid' until you ask him about time travel or something he's interested in. then you can't get him to shut up. i am a firm believer in theo nott who wanted to be an unspeakable but was put off by the confines of the ministry so decided to research mad shit by himself

loves the dungeons' low light level. no light means less headaches.

has the exact same breakfast every day: two toasts and a tea. except on holidays and his birthday, in which he has fruit pastries, or on sundays, where he has jam and toast

only found out he was autistic bcs a random kid he was working with asked him if he was 'on the spectrum' and he was so confused on what 'the spectrum' was that he fell down a research rabbithole and realised, oh

"sorry if this is overstepping, but are you on the spectrum?"

"the what"

"yknow, the autism spectrum"

"pardon my english, but what the fuck is an autism"

*two weeks of looking into it later*

*staring into a mirror* "ah"

hated the yule ball.absolutely despised it. went anyway because it was a once in a lifetime thing, but mainly hated it apart from the bit at the end where everyone left.

does that thing where if one side of him taps something, he. has to tap the other side to feel balanced again. if you do it you'll get what i mean, if you dont doit im sorry i cant explain it

loves pressure. sleeps with two blankets so he can feel properly buried

[iuuua]

oooh i forgot to talk about hazbin hotel after i finished it.

loved it. satisfied the musical deep inside of me. the characters are so charming and its a really fun show expressing incredibly horrible stuff. if u think abt it even just a little past face value its really deep and sends u down into a rabbithole about what the characters are, what it really means to be a sinner, and how loopable the songs are.

my only complaint is that its so short. its 9 episodes including the pilot where every key moment is perfectly encapsulated in those episodes yes, but because they chose to develop the characters per episode (which was absolutely the right choice btw) the whole "friendship" theme suffered. let me explain; the characters are well developed enough and interact enough for you to get what their overall dynamic is, but theres no episode that really focuses on them getting closer with each other. the show was so busy, im not sure where they could have put it; basically im saying the show wouls have fared well with a little filler. in 8 episodes they breezed by 6 months... those interactions would have made the finale soo much better. i was not *convinced* of the found family trope thing (bc thats what it is you cant tell me otherwise), but its a good idea to let the audience fill those gaps themselves.

i have mixed feelings whether to support vivzie because i heard her treatment of animators was horrible-- thats the worst part about this whole series honestly. idk if vivzie is a good person or not... but hazbin hotel is definitely amazing.

EDIT HERE: i watched a video saying the accusations against vivzie are false so, thats out of the way, i guess. dont worry too much about it, im not gonna do more research but if any of you do pls lmk!

my favorite song is poison, apart from the fact that its the closest to my usual genre, i love the mv. the choreography is so fluid and unsettling. the little details, you can tell angel is putting on a mask and the voice acting? chefs kiss. love it. the mv is so r18 but i cant help rewatching it its just so good the choerography videography the subtle meanings RAH. i also love the instrument solos in hells greatest dad, it really surprised me when lucifer pulled a violin out of nowhere lmao but god do i hate that minty girl, ruined such a good song. stayed gone is also so strong and its funny to see vox put in his place lmao. im addicted to alastors radio filter, such character. i reluctantly love adam and lute's song parts because their voices are so good and i love rock music but fuck i hate the characters.

charlie is just so lovable and would be generic in literally any other setting but because of the nature of the show she sticks out and that forces readers to pay attention to her and if you didnt already love her you WILL.

not sure what else to say but if ur 18+ GO FOR IT!! lots of tw since its hell, off the top of my head sex, abuse, cursing, cannibalism, assault, violence. there must be more but itd be better to look that up instead. have fun watching!

[brucequeensteen]

oohhh summer camp!! that’s so fun! i hope you have the most wonderful time there hehe. i’m glad you’ve been doing well <333

i am entering a bit of a recovery phase tbh, 4th year was rough (academically and personally) but yesterday after sending off my dissertation i went to the park and started reading a book and write in my notebook and it was just. so good. because reading and writing have just been impossible for me for a long time. so i’m just looking forward to finding myself again after the absolute mess that were the last two years. also i have to find a job, which i’m hoping to get sth in a lab, but a librarian friend of mine also keeps recommending me jobs at the library so that i have something in case it takes longer to find an entry-level lab job (which is likely). anyway it’s a little scary i’ve always been a student and now that’s just. over.

that sounds a little bleak so i’m also gonna tell you some good things:

i have a mullet now. a proper ash from supernatural mullet, not one of those baby mullets

i worked in a lab for a few months and it was such a good experience! it confirmed to me that yes i do want to work in a lab in the future it’s where i belong!

what’s been keeping me going throughout is rapper sword dancing though! look it up you won’t regret it, it’s an old miner’s dance with funky bendy swords and weaving through fun figures. i recommend you watch some videos i can’t explain it otherwise. look up black swan, they’re insanely good and also look very intimidating (won this year’s DERT, annual rapper tournament). other fun teams to look out for are mons meg (not as polsihed but VERY worth looking at), gaorsach (fun chaos), sheffield steel (just. GOOD), northgate, and sallyport (specifically their DERT 2024 showcase for silly vibes)

anyway. that was my little infodump. i’ll probably start playing disco elysium this summer

ah this is all sounds wonderful!! i totally get the feeling of needing to recover, i hope you do get that rest and recovery and it sounds like you had a great day yesterday<3 im also finally getting back into writing after pretty much a whole year of feeling dry and unmotivated....so yay recovery! and ive been in a reading slump for ages but once i finish the 3 books i have on the go at the moment, i plan on reading 20 books over the summer <- achievable cos i read fast and have a lot of free time, but still wishful thinking...

good luck with the job finding! i hope u get to work in a lab cos i definitely sounds like a dream suited perfectly to you, but you would also be a great librarian thats another thing i think youd be perfect for. also proud of you for the mullet. business up front, party in the back <3

and now. i just went down a mini rabbithole of rapper sword dancing and oh my fucking god??? i watched a few black swan performances and literally sat there openmouthed for a full 5 minutes . they are so intricate and clever and graceful and THE FLIPS?? FLIPPING OVER THE SWORDS??? MULTIPLE TIMES????? this is insane im going to immediately go watch more of this thank you for opening my eyes

also that last sentence in this ask made me grin like a maniac please do play disco elysium it will change your life youre seriously going to love it 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[irritablepoe]

I JUST FINISHED THE CATERPILLAR AND it did not give me same level of focus and anticipation that the Human Chair did but it's still pretty good!! I think it would do even better when illustrated visually!!

the part where the husband just bangs his head is kinda eerie to me but like what other options did he have to call attention T — T edogawa rampo seems to love sending his characters into a spiral, making them question things or like the wife in this story was overcome by a delirious-like fit ??? and that exact element reminded me of a telltale heart bc the character also slowly loses touch of reality!! (i should read more poe too, his books are more popular here than ranpo so it's easier to get a cheap secondhand copy hehe)

when will asagiri reveal that ranpo is also an insane lil freak too :((((

i just downloaded a pdf of the beast in the shadows and AAHHH im so excited to read it !!

also saw ur chuuya post and honestly same hswuhshw i think i still have my sparring partner chuuya x reader draft from my deactivated blog hshshs where he's ur rival in being the official co-coach and,,,, it's not nsfw but it's very suggestive while the two of you are quite literally fighting each other after hours at the training center and bantering while doing so shushwhh like there's blood and bruises and combat HWUSHWAHS

anyways id just like to thank u for geting me into rampo edogawa’s works i shall now go down a rabbithole 🫡🫶

yepp omg i feel you, the human chair was definitely a lot more pleasant to read as well lol. and do you mean an illustrated human chair or caterpillar? i think there's a movie inspired by the caterpillar, it focuses more on the anti-war message in the text though (as far as i've read at least, i haven't seen the movie). and omg yes, out of touch characters are so good and i think ranpo and poe both write these kinds of spirals so well, like when the thoughts start to be repetitive and stuff hjshfsdhkfsd

and yes i feel you with the book stuff, i haven't seen a single copy of ranpo here too :') BUT OMG MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!! :D

ohhhhh that sounds intriguing tbh, loveeee a good flirting while fighting lol :33

and you're welcome omg ahhhhh i'm glad i was able to share some stuff hehe😌🙏 also as always thank you for listening to my ranpoe ramblings heh :3

[wiresister]

Your thoughts are interesting, and your defaulting to SMS-abbreviations is valid. ...but damn it's hard to read and consider the depths and implications of your thoughts when they're in such a confusing dialect. I figure in a weird way, that means you're handicapped in the way I am, except I use long sentences and big words and I go down rabbitholes and garden paths and nobody has the patience to parse or follow them because of all of that. You're writing in the askii equivalent of chicken scratch handwriting, which is not as bad. Affection to you, sibling.

thnx i think? i get a lot of complaints abt th way i type on here up 2 nd includin ppl callin me ableist nd retarded in the same breath cuz screen readers cant parse it well, as if its thts my fault... -_-

i dnt rly care if ppl can read my posts, like who tf am i tht i need as many ppl as possible 2 b able undrstand my ideological rambling nd shitposting? y shld i care tht some ppl can't undrstand my posts? i dnt xist 2 b comprehensible, im a opinion8d tranny on the internet, im not an influcer or a writer or any kind of leader. im glad tht some ppl get somthing out of my posts but most of the time im jst using tumblr as a place 2 pukr my guts out.

its also funny tht u mention chickenscratch cuz i also hav terrible handwriting. it was constantly criticized in school nd i almost nvr got much bttr cuz th only way 2 b legible is 2 write 3x slowr than evry2 els nd tht created even more problems. i hate writing things by hand now, nd evrytime i hav 2 write somthin down 4 som1 i hav 2 make sure thy can read it cuz i kno it looks bad nd confusing nd its humili8n 4 evry1. i cant evn read my own handwriting sometimes if im reading somthin tht i wrote a while back nd cant remember wat i was tryn 3 say.

i digress, no mattr if im writing by hand, typing, or speaking i struggle 2 convey my thoughts nd ppl will hav trouble parsing me nd will mininterpret me (i actly jst got dumped cuz of this cuz it was a p major miscommunication) so im not gonna tear my skin off so ppl on th internet can swallow my words bttr, take them or leave them.

[furiousgoldfish]

My family are okay, and it could be a lot worse than it becoming more ... influenced these days? They've been listening much more frequently to gateway alt right stuff (in front of me at least) and gone a bit heavy in the religion aspect of stuff. Had a bit of a panic attack when they listened to some anti-lgbt stuff in front of me (in the closet)

They themselves were abused in their own childhoods (though they definitely wouldn't put it that way + normalized back when they were growing up) so maybe i should cut them some slack? Apart from occasional slaps on my hand and when i was younger they used to bang my head with knuckles a bit if they were really mad. Theyve apologised for it but do mention how back in their day it was way worse.

I dont know i guess ive been thinking much more about the future recently and how theyd HATE it if they found out some of the stuff i really think. Lots of yelling. Its embarrassing to talk about this with friends.

This sounds dumb when i put it into words but for years now ive been forced to keep a diary. I liked the idea of having one and writing down about my self so i went with it until one day i wrote about how mad i was at them. They read it despite me telling them not to and made me apologise and write down how sorry i was for doing that. There was a lot of yelling. I cried. They openly read what i write now and kinda force me to do it. ngl I kinda hate the thing now. Was that wrong of them?

maybe this is too vague for a checklist but request for one about signs your family is going down a conspiracy rabbithole/signs your parents are victims of misinformation would be nice. This ended up rambly im sorry.

Anon, I am so sorry, this sounds like an absolutely terrifying experience. You're blameless in all of this, you're perfect as you are, but your parents are actively participating in a hate group against your own person, in front of you, consistently exposing you to that narrative, and that is like being in the enemy's lair, isn't it? It has to affect your well being negatively, to hear those sorts of things, it's like you're forced every day to listen to perspectives of people who absolutely despise you, think you shouldn't exist or be the way you are, and who are ready to go and hurt anyone who is like you.

No, you do not need to cut them any slack. Were you any of their parents who did those things to them? No? Were you the founder of the culture where were hit, or force children to hit themselves? I don't think it's possible, since you weren't even born when that shit started. So your responsibility for this is zero. Yet these two people are coming at you asking you to be grateful they're not doing worse to you. Apparently by the logic of 'we had it bad, now you have to be grateful when we do bad things to you'. As if.

No person or being who was abused in the past, regardless of how badly, has the 'free card' to now inflict similar abuse on you. That is completely ridiculous and if that were true, than anyone abused would be going around hurting everyone else and it would be 'fine' because that person was abused as well. That kind of thinking only brings forth more abuse and trauma and nothing else. You did nothing to deserve any of that shit. If their parents hurt them, they should go ahead and take it up with their own parents. Except, they don't, do they? Because they cowards and prefer blaming and directing it towards their child.

If you had a kid, would you want that kid to be grateful you're hurting them slightly less than your parents are doing to you? It sounds insane, doesn't it. You'd want your kid to be happy and safe from ANY abuse, not paying for whatever anyone else has done to you in the past. Because that kid is innocent and did nothing to warrant bearing the burden of your past. And you are that kid right now, you are asked to bear the burden of the abuse that got absorbed into culture, abuse that your parents suffered and abuse they feel entitled to inflict onto you, and for what? It doesn't make anything better or fairer. It doesn't make the world a better place if you're getting hurt in it. If your parents think it's normal they can do it to their parents, thats none of your business. You're a kid brought into that family by no will of your own, subjected to horrifying shit and told you should bear it like it's normal. It's not normal. No child deserves this.

I also have to say that banging your own head with knuckles is especially vicious and victim-blaming abuse to do, I'm sickened by the very thought, and if they felt sorry for that, they would have never done it. It sounds like they'll do just anything in anger and expect 'sorry' to fix it. Sorry doesn't fix abuse. They shouldn't have slapped your wrists either.

The last part of your ask really had me in shock and horror, because that was such an intimate invasion of your privacy, and for them not even even feel sorry or ashamed for invading your private boundaries like that, but to be enraged you dared to feel anger? It's disgusting what they did. They should be so deeply ashamed. Any normal people would realize there's something wrong with them if their child is so mad and would take it as a sign to do some introspection and to evaluate whether they've been unfair, cruel, abusive or hateful to the kid, that is if they already went so far to read your diary without your permission, that they forced you to have!

Their reactions prove that they're so dead-set on controlling you, they even want to control your inner thoughts, convince you that you have no right to anger, no right to human feelings or human expressions, that you should be like a robot who only listens to commands and reacts in the way they want to. It's dehumanizing, disgusting and insanely cruel. You're a human being who's been hurt. Of course you're angry. You have the right to anger. You should have the right to express it in any way you want to, not just to write it in your private diary, but to yell and scream and fight back. But you got punished and had to take your own words back, when you did the least possible expression of it, writing it down privately.

Here's a post that feels relevant, explaining why it's wrong for parents to suppress anger in their children. Here's another one on importance of anger.

They know that any sign of your anger is a proof of their abuse, and that's why they're fighting so hard to suppress it. If they put that energy in trying to be good parents, they could have been great parents to you. They made their choices. Just based on this shameless and gross invasion of privacy and trying to control even your thoughts, it sounds like they have narcissistic tendencies, and they should not be trusted with a child.

I wish I could give you the checklist you asked for, but I have no experience whatsoever on parents, or people, who are being sucked into conspiracy theories, I think I've read articles about it, on topics like QAnon, explaining the phenomena, I'll try to find the post explaining why do people fall for conspiracy theories in general. Here it is. I hope it helps.

If anyone has more resources on conspiracy theories or knows about a checklist, please link it to this post.

[anonymous-dentist]

Ive been thinking of starting hermitcraft or life series (im not entirely sure what the difference is but something about war and drama on one and builds on another), do you have a recommendation for where to start with either of them?

(Also trying to figure out which one id like the best or maybe ill just get into both)

For the Life Series, you can watch any season you want in any order you want. There's no Deep Lore or anything, just maybe some small references from previous series.

But, if you were curious, the order is: Third Life -> Last Life -> Double Life -> Limited Life -> Secret Life (and then -> Real Life lol)

If you're in it for deep drama and lore... the pov you watch will depend on the season, because sometimes Lore People do different things in different seasons. The only guy that does like Perpetual Lore might be Martyn (Inthelittlewood)?

But, if you wanted to start in the very very beginning with Third Life, the common recommendations are Grian, Scar, Ren, Martyn, Scott. But tbh I think that Cleo and Joel and Pearl are always good options, especially past that first season.

As for Hermitcraft, that's the One With Building... and wars, but those are pretty rare. Lore isn't a huge priority, but some hermits do their own little Lores in their individual seasons, and there's usually one or two Server Lores per season.

There's no order to the seasons, but we are on season 10. Seasons tend to go long (I think season 9 lasted about two years, give or take a few months), so it's good to jump in now towards the beginning.

The hermits I'm personally watching this season are Joel, Grian, and Scar. But I'll give some recommendations below for hermits that do things you might be interested in just off the top of my head!

Crazy insane amazing builds: Bdubs, Pearl, Gem, Joel, Scar, Grian

Redstone magic: Impulse, Etho, Mumbo, Tango, Doc

Lore Guys: Ren, Grian, Pearl-ish (depends on the season I think), Doc

Weird Little Guys: Joe Hills, Zedaph, Joel (yes, he counts)

Chill Stuff: Cleo, Skizz, Joe Hills, plenty of others tbh

But tbh it might just be good to look around, there are SO MANY HERMITS that I didn't even list because I don't know their content well enough!

I will say that you don't need to watch every hermit. That would be like. 30-something episodes a week on average, and that's assuming it's only one episode per hermit, and it doesn't include streams from Scar/Cleo/Ren or stuff like Vodskall

There's a lot of overlap between the Life Series and Hermitcraft, and the Life Series members will be in a lot of Hermit Series because they're all pretty good friends! So if you start with Life and you like someone, follow down their little rabbithole until you find a hermit you dig. Y'know?

[n7punk]

⚡️ tis me, lightning bolt fiend, here to second that my love for she ra and catradora has only increased since I discovered your fics (may 2021). realistically yeah maybe we’re a dwindling fandom but idk a single hoe here who doesn’t recognize you as the authority on all things she ra fic. Not going anywhere 😎

hey its Still The Episode, so this might be a bit rambley and incomprehensible, but its what i've got so lets go. also i know im piggybacking off this. im aware this is about to become a tangent.

first off: thank you <3 also for your other sweet message awhile ago i didnt respond to because i was nonverbal second: fandom doesn't and shouldn't have authorities, thats a daaaaangerous rabbithole. wouldn't want it to be me and we're all just here to have fun. i happen to be a pretty prolific author who's dug into metacanon some, but thats it. not trying to come down on you, ⚡️, just don't want to leave no disclaimer here and make it seem like i'm agreeing i do/should have authority on anything, unless by authority you just mean prolific producer, which like, im sure is what you're going for even if that's not what the phrasing implies, hence the disclaimer

thiiiiird, because this was spawned from a comment i made because of the ao3 thing, ive done more research into that when my brain was a little more solid earlier in the day, before it became the soup it is now. particularly this article, this reblog, this reblog, this reblog, and then this random shitty "article" that confirmed the 2019 cutoff date from the prev reblog (which was uncited), led me to conclude that it's probably fine to unlock my fics. my understanding is sudowrites is built off of GPT-3, which was trained off public access works and a web crawl which cut off in 2019. GPT-3 was a product of OpenAI. also there's some kind of "dont scrape this" flag the web crawl is Supposed to respect, and a discord comment says they already use that on the archive, but take that with a grain of salt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the reddit investigation reaaaaaally makes it seem like it was trained off fanfic as one of its datasets, i dont know how the hell you get those results if not, but its probably from stuff caught up in that webcrawl, which wasn't necessarily even from AO3, and it well and truly seems too late on that. i locked temporarily in case they were still actively scouring and not yet done getting everything off the archive, meaning some of my work conceivably hadn't been caught yet and could be "saved", but it looks like they stopped scouring before i started posting for she-ra LOL

also some people seem to be encountering a bug where fics that hadn't updated in years were pushed to the tops of their bookmarks as recently updated and they think that's related to this?? as far i know only a new chapter would change the publication date. i go back and edit my typos all the time: they remaind locked by the date the most recent chapter was initially posted. idk where people got that from.

[ivycopur]

ty for the tag @simmer-until-tender!!

1. what’s your favorite sims death?

death by fright is fun with how it can escalate, ghosts killing people to create more ghosts killing more people... i enjoy the chaos of a very haunted house 😈

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

i lean more maxis match these days but i don't have a strict aesthetic

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

i assume this is more about ts4, i hardly ever see sims gain weight in ts2. but in either case nah

4. Do you use move objects?

of course, i'm not much of a builder tho

5. Favorite mod?

hmmmm there's soooo many i consider essential but if i had to play with just one mod i guess it would be the sim blender

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

ts2 university! and it's still a fave, i love playing dorms

7.  Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

i always assumed it was like aLIVE until the behind the sims summit which was the first time i actually heard someone from EA say it out loud lmao. ive tried to adjust to say LIVing but it still sounds wrong

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

im gonna go with Clementine Bosden, the C heir of an alphabet legacy i attempted in 2011 (which got nowhere near Z, lol). she's a family sim with 1 nice point which is a hilarious combination to me. pictured here raging in the park for some reason & cheating at chess with her wife (an aged-up Chloe Gonzaga). ahhhh digging up these screenshots makes me wanna pick that hood back up again....

9.  Have you made a simself?

the last one i made was in 2016 when i had an undercut... not terribly accurate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. What sims traits do you give yourself?

using TS3 traits... Vegetarian, Computer Whiz, Brooding, Loves the Outdoors, Animal Lover

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?

again i assume this is more about ts4. but i am a fan of the various ts2 rainbow mohawks

12. Favorite EA hair?

it's basic but i've used the french braid hair a lot

13. Favorite life stage?

the younger stages are cute but it's gotta be adults, that's where the most gameplay is at

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the game play?

building is a STRUGGLE for me, im here for the gameplay. although lately i've spent more time reading about how the game works & poking around in simpe than actually playing haha

15. Are you a CC creator?

nah, i've messed around a little with texture edits but im more interested in making mods than CC

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sims squad?

me n my gf play sims together a lot but besides that not really

17. What’s your favorite game (1,2,3,4)?

ts2!!!

18. Do you have any sims merch?

i have some sims themed stickers from redbubble...

19. Do you have a youtube for sims?

well i have a sub-account on my youtube just for all the sims youtubers i subscribe to so i can keep up with them without it all being mixed in with all my other subscriptions on my main account. but no i don't make sims videos myself. i do like to imagine the sims video essays i would make if i had a infinite time to spend on that sort of thing but i doubt i ever will 😅

20. How has your “sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

my MO is usually to start with one sim, have a bunch of kids & then a bunch of grandkids, get overwhelmed by the number of sims i'm managing & then abandon the family. but now i'm setting up an uberhood to play with LD's story progression and im very excited to see how it goes when i can just focus on one household and let everyone live their lives without me :)

21. What’s your origin ID?

it's simbly but there's nothing on there

22. Who’s your favorite cc creator?

tbh i've been avoiding going down the cc rabbithole for now... i have a ton of stuff bookmarked to check out later but idk what i'll end up using.... i'm picky about keeping my files organized and wrangling my huge mods folder has been enough of a headache, the amount of cc out there is even more overwhelming >.<

23. How long have you had a simblr?

only since fall 2022, ive been on tumblr since 2013 but this account is pretty new, i'm just getting back into the sims after not playing for a long time!

24. How do you edit your pictures?

photoshop babey

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

OpenTS2😭😭🙏🙏

[ohbaby-obaeme]

ungodly screeching- part 2

hello hello!! i have returned with the younger bros version. i hope you enjoy, and if you did, please drop a follow and a reblog! (psst if you can't tell from satan's section, im a huge kpop stan and my inbox and dms are always open to chat)

Satan:

he wasn’t sleeping either, absorbed in the newest edition of Nightlock Sholmes’ mysteries. He was just getting to the end of Nightlock’s monologue on his deductions of the tea museum and was about to declare the culprit responsible for killing the museum’s head teamaker, when suddenly- “AUUUAAAHHH YEAH YEAH EYAH YEAH”

his head turned to the source of the abrupt noise, pupils alarmed, then irate when he realized that no, these weren’t screams of fear (he’s heard enough in his lifetime to differentiate, seeing as he’s caused all of them), but screams of…. something? something that definitely wasn’t fear, and therefore something that wouldn’t have any excuse to be so loud.

a rage that he was well supplied with rose to his throat, burning his veins and making his skin crawl with irritation. without even needing to look at the clock buried behind the tower of books on his nightstand, he knew it was way too late for anyone to make him deal with this.

after a few seconds of breathing in through his nose, he sprung up from his armchair, Nightlock Sholmes abandoned for the time being; the teamaker’s killer given a few more minutes before their inevitable unmasking. every step was a feat, an immense effort to contain the wrath clawing its way out of his chest. but satan was nothing if not a master of control, and so he managed to make his way over to your room, teeth clenched together as he all but knocks holes into your door.

from the inside, he could hear the screaming stop, the music shut off, and your heart rate rising. you’re scared. you should be.

the door cracks open a sliver, and your eye peeks through. the sliver widens when you realize it isn’t lucifer or asmo (he could be worse than satan when his beauty sleep was interrupted) and you let out a breath. as if he wasn’t the literal avatar of wrath, most feared by the denizens of hell for his temper and violent outbursts, you flash him the most adorable smile and ask “what’s up tantan?”

satan’s…confused. on one hand, he feels vaguely insulted that you aren’t scared to find him fully pissed off at your door in the middle of the night. on the other, it melts his fiery little heart to see you flash him that smile; to not be scared of him no matter how he may appear; to know that you put that much trust in him, enough to know that even if he was angry, he would never harm you. he chooses to focus on the other hand.

a huff escapes his lips. “what are you doing?” is all he’s allowed to ask before you pull him into your room.

“have i told you yet about bts? i don’t think i have. it’s been a while since i’ve listened to human world music, what with all the student council work and using my ddd and never my phone, but!! i was just about to go to sleep today when a human song got stuck in my head, and i needed to, like needed to listen to it again!! and so i did, and then i saw another song that i recognized and another and another and soon enough i was falling down the kpop rabbithole all over again!! im sorry if i woke you but now that you’re here, wanna listen to serendipity? it’s so your style- OH WAIT STILL WITH YOU!!! THAT ONE’S GREAT LET’S-”

he’s definitely lost, but as he lies on your bed, shoulder to shoulder with you humming along next to him, he thinks maybe this isn’t so bad. maybe Nightlock Sholmes can wait for tomorrow. for now, as he stares at you smiling over the rain sounds, slowly moving to the song’s melody, he thinks “yeah. this definitely isn’t so bad.”

Asmodeus:

he was having such a pleasant dream. there was a zombie apocalypse, but instead of zombies, it was him. an asmo apocalypse. no one bit each other and there was no gross bleeding or spilling of brains, just beauty all around. a myriad of breathtaking people, all looking into mirrors or each others’ eyes and sighing dreamily, enamoured smiles on each set of lips.

the smile on his sleepy lips was, however, rudely interrupted by your shrieking. like a banshee.

the asmos in his dream suddenly explode one by one, each opening their mouth and your voice filtering through. he runs to them to try and save them, but it is always too late. all that is left when he comes to is slight tinnitus and your annoying voice still going.

he feels himself sour faster than yogurt mixed with lime juice. you wanted to die today, hm? well, he’s nice enough to make your wish come true!

fuming all the way to your door, he knocks 3 times forcefully. honestly, what were you even doing up? it was 3:23 in the morning! he knows because he wanted to pronounce a time of death when he wrangled your throat like a wet rag. you don’t mess with asmo’s beauty sleep and get off easy. didn’t you know that around midnight was the time when your skin cells were repaired? it’s bad enough that you’d be doing this to yourself, don’t do it to him!

you, of course, don’t notice his knocking, swaying instead to the song playing in your headphones. eventually, his patience runs out, and the aura of rage he emits forces the door open all on its own. feeling a searing glare on the back of your neck, you turn and almost scream yourself into a heart attack.

there he stood, the jewel of the heavens, asmodeus, the avatar of lust (and self-proclaimed beauty) himself, in a fluffy white robe with the most murderous look you’d seen on anyone. yes, even more murderous than on satan and lucifer. the mask he’d put on before bed was all dry now but still stuck to his face like a second skin, pronouncing his eye bags and a slight bump on his forehead. shit. if he’d gotten a pimple because of you, you might as well have smacked lucifer’s butt and called him cute, because you were about to d i e.

but you weren’t MC for nothing. quick thinking was your forte, your key to survival down here.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHH- ah, hey asmo! you must’ve been pretty surprised to hear me singing now, huh? well i gotta tell ya- it’s all because of you!”

he stayed silent but cocked his head the tiniest bit to the side- a sign that he was listening.

“yeah! so- i wanted to listen to something really nice before i went to bed, and i thought, ‘hey! why not listen to pomade?’ since it’s so so good, and your vocals make you sound like an angel, and the beat is so catchy, and the entire thing just makes me feel like you’re right next to me-”

his aura had more or less vanished now, a fond smile on his lips once again

“and yeah, that’s how it started out hehe. but before i could stop it, another song autoplayed after yours and another after that, and since your song put me in such a good mood, i guess i kept on going. i’ll stop now-”

he rushed towards you and swooped you into his arms. “oh MC, you are such a darling! of course you love my song, it’s the best, isn’t it? it just makes you want to dance, doesn’t it? ne, how would you like to hear a live version right now? i’m so perfect i can sing even though i just woke up! don’t you think that just adds to my already overflowing beauty?”

you’re trapped in his arms, so you can do nothing but nod as he rambles on. well, you suppose it is a fair price to pay for waking him up and not facing the fury of the scorpion.

really, you’re just thanking his father that he hadn’t noticed the (quite big) pimple forming on his forehead yet. hopefully when he does, you could blame it on mammon or something.

Beel:

he was in the kitchen when your wailing began, stuffing Madame Scream’s special macaroons into his mouth while still asleep. yeah. ladies, gentlemen, and everyone outside and in between, you’ve heard of sleep-walking, you’ve heard of sleep-talking, but now, get ready forrrrr…. sleep-eating!

mans was literally dreaming about pastries while he was stuffing them in his mouth. the sheer capacity. terrifying tbh

now, your shrieking slowly opened his eyes, and he looked around blearily for a few seconds, trying to realize where he was, what he was doing, and even WHO he was. it was a deeeep sleep he was in.

when he did recollect all that though, and his slumber-fogged brain did register your yelling, he didn’t react. all he could think of was: “oh, MC’s awake.”

precious boy 🥺

never one to turn down your company, he gathers as much food from the fridge and cabinet as his muscled arms could carry, and began trudging down to your room, eyes still half-lidded.

a soft knock resounds from your door and when you turn your head to see who it is, you find a sleepy ginger-haired food thief peeking his head in, and smiling.

“Beel! what are you doing up?”

he suppresses a yawn. “Hi MC. i was sleep-eating i guess, when i heard you singing. can i stay in your room for a while?”

you nodded, watching as he settled into your bed, sitting at attention and ready to hear your ‘serenades’ again. the mountain of snacks he brought along threatens to spill from your bed, but they’re being devoured faster than you could tell him to be careful so, he’s got it you guess.

and what a weird assortment it is. “licorice dipped in mayo?” he asks, big doe eyes blinking at you. it almost makes you want to say yes. almost.

“no thanks beel.” you’re just about to start singing again when you realize. “hey, how’d you get into the fridge? i was in the kitchen earlier tonight when lucifer quadruple-padlocked it.”

he stares blankly at you for a second. “oh, i guess that’s where the hole in the kitchen wall came from.”

damn. you made a mental note to NEVER get between a hungry beel and his food.

Belphie:

he was not asleep, fortunately for you. even lucifer shies away from waking up belphie, always passing on the responsibility to beel. there’s a reason why lmao

you were spared from a repeat of lesson 16, rather being graced by a painfully awake cow staring at you through a crack in your door.

sometimes belphie experiences something close to the opposite of sleep debt, where the hours he’s actually supposed to be awake have accumulated and forbid him from sleeping. and so he begrudgingly walks the land of the living, though you can tell from his gait he’d much rather be asleep.

when this happens, he takes to roaming the halls like a ghost who died a mournful death. quietly sweeping across the halls, taking his time to observe any changes made to the house since the last time he’d been in awake-debt. he likes to gaze at the paintings, especially the cursed ones. they seem to take on a new shine in the darkest hours of the devildom, the serenity aided by the fact that not a single thing ever stirs. or so he thought

he supposes he hadn’t been in awake-debt since you came to the house. he’d been sleeping less and less, secretly putting off his sin to spend more time with you. and he decided that’s just what he was going to do now, where none of his brothers would disturb him.

you don’t notice that he’s in your room until he’s standing a literal inch away from your dancing body, until you feel the huff of his breath on the side of your neck when he asks “what are you doing?”

only 2 seconds of the blood-curling scream you let out makes its way around the walls before his hand clamps around your mouth.

“tsk, do you want to get caught by lucifer?” when you shake your head slowly, he smiles. “i’m going to take my hand off now. no more screaming, okay?” you nod, and he has to hold himself back from squishing your cheeks while he’s at it.

he lets you go only for you to spin around and glare at him. “asshole” you huff, hand on your chest to try and calm your still-racing heart. he proves his rightful claim on the title of ‘youngest’ when he has the audacity to laugh at you. he jumps onto your bed and makes himself at home, a shit-eating grin in response to your glare still burning holes through his skull.

“well? continue your awful singing, if you could even call it that” he swiftly dodges a pillow you threw at his head.

“asshole” you mutter under your breath, but clamber under the covers with him anyway. yeah, he may be a brat, but who made him one?

you

[quaranmine]

quickly googled bird symbolism and the habitats of cardinals for a specific lil guy in a thing im working on today so yeah! rabbitholes beloved :D i wish i got to go down more. theyre Fun. oh well now i get to invent my own

OOOOH! cardinal habitats definitely sounds like the type of rabbit hole I'd go down. Maybe if I had said this to my aunt she would get it (she's a massive birder lol)

i am curious what is the bird symbolism? i assume doves are asssociated with purity or marriage or something like that and crows/ravens with omens but not much else

also. shaking your hand so hard. i believe one of the greatest things in life is going down a good rabbit hole about something. theres nothing lost by learning about any topic it only enriches your life all the more