#im so gay for sun let me marry this boy

[4urum-4rgentum]

My personal problems:

My clusterfuck of a rant (ft. Cassandra clare)

Buckle up besties bc im about to trauma dump. Like actual baby gay trauma.

(@faithfromanewperspective you wanted to know, i dont think i can freestyle angst on an ask like i can on a post so here it is)

Tw: incest, gender dysphoria, homophobic parents, sexual assault.

In our country you have to give a board exam (goverment??? Exam??? Similar to SATs) at the end of your 5 grade. So you need a primary school certificate (PSC)

After my PSC, my parents fixed up my Tablet. And went to work., i sat on my leaving room couch with blankets and pillows for a whole month (there was a dent on the couch when i actually got up for 6th grade) and i surfed the internet in those weeks.

I saw the malec video on yt ( i didnt click on it and didnt think much of it)

So my friend told me to watch anime. Somehow searching 'anime' on yt lead me to an anime 'Super lovers' (yaoi, pseudo incest, pedophilic and rapey everything under the sun you can find, its in super lovers) also i was like 11. 5 years old at this point. I have no concept of whats right or wrong. And bc of these animes (theres so much of it) i thought incest was fine. I also got into Todobaku and bakudeku. And thats part was fine i was mainly watching edits on yt. Then i started reading yaoi mangas and wattpad stories and gacha vids (And yes incest is still featuring on these stories for the most part)

Somewhere along the line, i was like, this feels weird (it was a particularity bad wattpad story with incest i think) i was already consuming gay content for months by then. (I still hadnt started 6th grade mind you.) and my standard for content increased a bit. And i stopped engaging with incest fics and mangas completely. After i distanced myself from it i realised how fucked that was and moved on from it.

But i still engaged with gay content. Somehow i stumbled upon the malec vid again. I watched it. (The first time im seeing live action gay ppl on screen) then i got into thai bl. ("Love by chance" was my first) the thai bl scene was a bit better. Around this time i read bl, watched bl and started to research about gay culture and what not. I figured out i was attracted to girls before i even went back to school

When i went back to school I became friends with a girl (lets call her bunny) I knew bunny since 5th grade but i didnt talked to her that year. she was smart and cool and i had a bit of crush on her from afar.

(5th grade before gay awakening) One time in my school bus while guessing one of my "friends" crushes i asked if he had a crush on bunny, he laughed, i "joked" if i was a boy, i would grow up to marry her. That 'friend' emptied his water bottle on my head as a response.

In 6th grade, the first week (maybe 2nd /3rd January), bunny and i got selected for a group project along with other friends. Me and another friend went to bunny's house for the project. The other friend left. After that friend left bunny and I started to unpack our traumas for each other. Family troubles and what not. I (being the dumb bitch i am) told her that i liked her (and also the water bottle thing) and that i liked girls too (at this point I identified as bi)

In class 6 and of fuckery happend, but me and bunny became bsfs so fast, with in a day. And we were inseparable. I asked her out and she laughed in my face. And we laughed about it years later too. 6th grade ends with her being made at me for smth i didnt even do wrong and some other shit with out toxicest friened. (We werent hanging out by the end of the year)

(Also i finished all off the percy jackson and percy jackson spin offs in 6th grade) and i also told my dad that i liked girls too. He conveniently forgot it for the nest year.

I come back for 7th grade knowing I was bi or pan (couldnt decide which i identified with the most) i start hanging out with a group of boys. Then covid happens.

Lockdown at the begining was fine (terrified but fine) around the second month of lockdown some genderfuckery started to happen. I would forget my own gender (round the time i was falling asleep or waking up). I started consuming for trans stuff around this time. And i journaled on my sketchbook with doodles and cried on it. I had terrible dysphoria. And i didnt even have a name for it in the begining. And one day the pain became too much and i broke in front of my mother. I came out to her. She ignored me. (Muslim parents) she said i was just a tomboy and "theres nothing wrong with me" and other stuff. I was sure i was trans. And non binary (trans tiktok helped with that bit).

My dysphoria became worse as time went on. Just before time of my birthday. My step mother bought me some books i asked for (queer books) and it had Chain of Gold She saw that it had just come out and thought i would like it. So i was reading chain of Gold. And i didnt get shit. I maybe read 100 pages before i decided that i needed context. I went on goggle and searched the best ways to read cassandra clare books in order and they said that Series wise is best. So i started City of bones (worse mistake of my life)

It was on yt so i started with it first. I already knew before starting that jace and clary werent related and incest might come up. (I didnt know it was that levels of fucked in the books) i just saw a pinterest meme where it was said rather jokingly.

Anyway i finished the whole part one and two of The mortal instruments. I read it for Malec bc they were the only gay characters. I have 101 problems with this series but my most major one was Malec. So at this point in my life i was a closeted trans, (multispec) queer kid Something about reading Queer characters tell each other horrible things about bejng closted and bisexual made me hate myself more. Malec didnt not develope my internalized homophobia, it definately fueled it tho. After my birthday i got grounded (my parents found out the queer content i was engaging with. It was very traumatic. I came out to them and my dad to my face said that i am not queer, instead i am fetishizing queerness and i was engaging in perversion.)

Alot happend many times my parents tried to distance me from queer culture and media but gave up.

As 7th grade ended me and bunny reconnected (shit also happend when my mother read our chats)

Around 8th grade i cried and begged to my mother that i am not going to change and all that jazz, she didnt say anything. But she became more on gaurd, she would analyze my interactions with other girls differently (one time while riding in her scooty, i was in the back said and waved to a girl that was starting at me for some reason) my mother told my dad that shes afraid im flirting with girls AS IM ON THE SCOOTER WITH HER-

In class 8 bunny pulled some shit (i explained it in another post i think) also i finally watched the shadowhunter series show malec healed the wounds that book malec anf my parents left. I was for the most part okay i think (academic studies were my biggest problem)

In class 9 around second half of the year i joined tumblr (helped my mental health immense, finding other gay ppl) and i asked for a book from my step mother (it was a bangla book about a trans girl) my dad delivered it to me. And said that he got that i wasnt going to change (BC LORD KNOWS THEY TRIED) he told me to study well so i could go live abroad bc this country will have me dead. I agreed and took the book (i couldnt finish the book, it was too dark for me at times, i gave the book to bunny).

Bunny and my relationship is vented about in another post. I wont get it.

So my problem with cassandra clare happens for three major personal reasons, one of them i didnt even mention bc i still feel weird about it.

1. The Malec part.

2. The incest part : reading TMI made me relive that first part where i engaged with incestuous content. And just disturbed me to my core this time around EVENTHOUGH I HAD A MILD HEADS UP i didnt know the extent of its fuckery. I dont know why but it just turnt the disgust at incest meter up the roof. Like completely fucked my brain and i wasnt okay. (I was 13/14 my birthday fell in the middle)

3. The sexual assault of Aline.

(Tw: my SA)

As a child (9/10 yrs old) i was assulted in an crowded elevator, my dad was in the elevator, i didnt not see the assulters face. I just remember being sqished against the wall, with a mans hand jammed between my legs. I rember trying to flatten myself against the wall to get away from the hand but it woulnt stop. The hand was knuckles deep between my thighs. I didnt see the mans face. I dont rememeber what he looked like from the back. After we got out i told my dad. He barely reacted and said 'people are assholes'. I told my mother about it.... Earlier This year. I thought if i had told her, she wouldnt let me hang out with dad anymore. He was so nonchalant about it that i thought i was over reacting.

Reading the Aline SA scene fucked me up. It was the first time i had come across an SA scene in a book, before that it was lightly mentioned. In the Aline scene, my mind visualised the whole thing. And it nearly drove me to a panic attack. I was 13 at this point. And in the books it was never brought up again, like it was no big deal. Like it was normal. It was for shock value. And i fell for it.

And the rest of the tsc is still bad writing and i hated it. But tmi fucked right up mentally and yeah. I have other posts explaining my journey with it, under the tag auru's tsc rant. Those explain it better.

[thesoupman]

I saved every discord message you sent me From the moment i rizzed you i knew you were mine Yoau said you were mine I thought you were mine. Do you know whagt maedaze said when itold her what youd done she said youve married an icarus he has flown too close to the sun . Dont take another step in my edirection i cant be etrusted earound you Dont think you can message your way into my earms into my earms (nerd oomf:) Im burning the messages you sent me You can estand over there if you want. I dont know who you eare i have so much to learn. Im re-reading your messages and watching them burnnnnIm watching them burn. (emo oomf(me):) You published the letters he messaged to you You told the whole world how you ebroguth this boy into our dms in clearing your name you have ruined our lives. Heaven forbid someone tweets ''Hes part of some escheme'' Your opp whispers so you have to scream. I know about ewhispers. I see how you look at cronus. Dont Im not naive i have eseen women dm you Dont think i dont see how they fall for your echarms All your echarms Im erasing myself from the narrative let future historians wonder how eridan reacted when you broke their heart You have ethrown it all away stand back watch it eburnn Just watch it all eburnnnn And when the time comes!!! Explain to gay sex master 26!!!!! The pain and embarrassment you put his mother through!!!!!!!!! When will you learn that He is your legacy We are your legacy ??? If you thoughtyou were eMineeeeeee Dont

????????????Whay the heck

[ojisanmuramasa]

Daily reminder that im gay and i love sun wukung so much

[asbestieos]

shoving kaoru x kuro at you with the force of a thousand suns. also. tatsukei.

AAAUAUUFRGRGRUAUUAUAUAGAHUAAA (THE THOUSAND SUNS BURN ME TO ASHES)

kaokuro

THEYRE SO GENDERNUCLEAR MARRIED COUPLE CORE. i meant genderneutral but gendernuclear also matters. kuromama and kaopapa and kaomama and kuropapa. kuro looked at kaoru and offered his hand to show kaoru a journey through defying gender norms and then he dragged kaoru along with him anyway. i think kaoru would be so intimidated and horrified at the thought of Having A Crush on kuro because you know kaoru’s mommy kink hed totally get all panicky bc of kuros mom-isms. like what if he wants kuro to be his mom. what then. and then.. what if…. he doesnt mind it,,,,, <- this is how the gay thoughts got him he wanted kuro to be his mom. theyd be so cute i think kaoru would get surprise packed bentos from kuro a few times and hed be so flustered hed lie to his unitmates and tell them theyre from a girl he likes. agency meetings are increasingly more awkward for kaoru because his luvr is right there and all he can do is pretend theyre not a thing and ignore the teasing sent his way by rei. what being in the same agency does to a motherfucker. once kuro feigned a milf voice and ara-ara’d at kaoru and called him kaocchi and kaoru immediately fainted on the spot. woke up, head was rested in kuro’s lap, got called kaocchi in a flirty tone, and promptly conked out for the rest of the meeting. awooga

tatsukei

(grips my chest) theyre such a dry couple until they arent.. like midwinter drought dry. like tatsumi-is-solo-carrying-the-payload dry. like two-years-in-and-they-have-yet-to-kiss dry. theyre like a very very old couple that doesnt have The Spark but still are very obviously something. its small things like subtle hands resting on the other’s waist or subconsciously keeping track of the other’s schedule or saving leftovers for each other.. people laugh because theyre of two different religions but they get along just fine.. theyre a little bit kurokei except i think theyd struggle to truly devote themselves to each other.. tatsumi doesnt particularly have ambition anymore— sure, he can always reach for that utopia again, but after the reimei revolution, he clearly was not the savior the world sought after, so why try again and risk more unnecessary casualties? keito wouldnt agree methinks hes all like babe get your ass in gear im bored as shit either do something to the idol industry or help me write boy love manga. tatsumis like haha i love you lets raise kids ♡ and keitos like MY CAREER? or whatever. sorry im rambling again i hope that wasnt too incomprehensible ♡

honest opinion ship ask game

[wickedpact]

dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........  late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

  B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.)  the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

  C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

  D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

  E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me: 

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

  F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest. 

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

[descendantofthesparrow]

Multipart Commission work - Harry Hook x Reader - Prince behind the Pirate - part 14 - break

*mild cursing*

=

You stared blankly at the seat in front of you, blocking out Leah’s rambling. You looked down at your heels, glaring at the pink skirt laying on your thighs.

Leah had forced you back into your “princess” outfits, chucking your precious pirate style pink and blue leather jacket into the trash. Thankfully your grandpa had dug it out and hid it back in a servants closet who was already delivering it back to your dorm.

“we've arrived” Leah muttered, pinching your arm and nodding to the castle “behave, and smile.” You gave a shallow nod and took a deep breath, straightening your back and exiting the car as the chauffeur opened your door.

“Queen Leah, princess (y/n), an honor to have you here!” Grimsby took a bow to you and Leah, stand up straight and gesturing to the castle “please, come in!”

Leah nodded and jerked her head to the castle at you, pressing her lips together in a smile. You grinned at Grimsby and nodded “yes, thank you for having us!” he smiled back and led you and Leah into the main hall.

“Ariel and Eric are just outback, Jordan is up in his room and will be joining us in a moment outback, now please follow me”

You followed after Leah, looking down at your shoes, letting your façade drop for a moment.

You felt tears burn at your eyes again, but you forced them down and took a deep shaky breath, looking up and putting on that cheerful princess mask.

You stepped outside, grinning brightly as Ariel stood from the edge of their pool, running over to hug you “(y/n)! oh hello dear! How are you doing?” she pulled back and her brows furrowed and her smile diminished a bit. You smiled and patted her hands on your shoulders.

“im doing great! You?” Ariel stared at you for e moment before shaking her head, grinning.

“amazing, now, there are some snacks over there, and Jordan will be down in a moment.” She pointed to the other side of the yard, a large circle table holding multiple snacks and sweets, ranging from watermelon to truffles.

“thank you” you nodded, separating from her and walking over to the table, grabbing your (fave sweet). You zoned out as you watched the ocean waves roll on the shore.

Something flashed in your mind, a picture of you and harry walking along the shore, hands interlocked as you just talked.

Your breath hitched and you quickly rubbed your face, forcing away the tears again.

“Jordan! Come come!” you turned, sighing as the red-haired teen stepped outside, looking around as he did.

“hey mom” he muttered, accepting her quick hug and looking to Leah. “queen Leah” he bowed, Leah nodded her head and glanced over at you.

“prince Jordan, I assume you know my granddaughter (y/n)?” Jordan's blue eyes locked with yours, and you gave a smile, swallowing down the scream that wanted out.

“I believe so” he nodded, raising his brows as his dad pushed him toward you.

“Why don’t you two get to know each other while the three of us talk” Jordon nodded, walking up to you and nodding towards the beach.

“would you walk with me?” you nodded slowly and looked to your grandmother, whos cold eyes peered into yours.

“yes, that sounds lovely” you smiled, turning and letting Jordan lead you away.

You scanned him up and down, brow-raising as you looked at his pants.

They were cuffed….his nails were painted too.

Huh...

=

It had been an awkward ten minutes of walking around, your arms swinging behind your back. But then you couldn’t keep it in anymore. “um, weird question” Jordon looked at you oddly, raising his brow “are you-?” you lifted your hand and flipped it down, tilting your head.

Jordan's eyes widened before he burst out into laughter, nodding “oh-oh hell yeah” a tear slipped down his face as he laughed “im-oh gosh, im so fucking gay you don’t even-fuck have you seen Jay?! That dude is fucking hot how could I not be gay!”

You sighed in relief and started to laugh with him, the tension you felt disappointing “oh god…wait do your par-“ Jordan winced and shook his head.

“no…they-I think they would support me but…im not ready yet” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck “Melody is the only one who knows…and Sebastian”

You hummed and nodded, looking off to the sea. “siblings find out as soon as they look at you” you giggled, Jordan snorting and nodded.

“yeah pretty much….Audrey?”

“bi as fuck” you snickered “shes gay as fuck for girls but shes bi” Jordan giggled and shook his head, crouching down and folding his arms, leaning his chin on them.

“oh boy, this is one big mess ain't it?” he sighed, you groaned and sat down next to me.

“tell me about it, I haven’t even told Harry about this” you ranted, hitting your chest to remove the lump.

Jordan perked up, raising his brows “Harry? Wait you have a boy?”

You gave him a sad smile and shrugged “had…..Leah blackmailed me, marry you and she signs the document allowing more vks including Harry, but I can never contact him again or, don’t marry you and she makes me leave him to rot on the isle” you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, the hot liquid running down your cheeks and dropping into the sand.

“oh shit” Jordan muttered, pulling you into a hug “that-that fucking sucks” you sniffed and rubbed your cheek against his arm.

“i-wont ever see him again….god fuck” you gasped and squeezed your eyes shut.

“….were gonna figure something out, I promise” Jordan muttered, rubbing your head.

“…..” you sniffed, sighing and leaning your head back, feeling the sun on your face.

=

Harry paced around in the little dream world, (y/n) had yet to arrive. it was late, so why wouldn’t she be here?! She had a pretty good sleep schedule!?

“Harry” he spun around, a bright grin blooming on his face….before it dropped.

“(y/n)…are yeh alright?” he strode over to you, gathering you into his arms and pressing his forehead to yours “love yer shakin’ “

“Ha-arry” you broke, sobbing and pressing your face into his chest “im-im sorry- ‘m sorry” you let out a small sob-scream, Harry panicking and holding you tighter, carefully kneeling to the floor and pulling you into his lap.

“lass what are yeh sorry for?!” he cooed, running his hand through your hair and pulling it back from your face, some stray strands sticking to your cheeks “love?”

“i-im marrying someone” Harry's heart shattered, and he pulled away, standing and stumbling back, his horrified ocean blue eyes staring into your broken ones “I don’t want to Harry! My grandmother is forcing me to!” you pleaded, reaching out to Harry, hardly able to breathe through your sobs.

Harry's heart turned to dust as he listened to you, he dived back into your arms, pulling you to his chest and holding you tightly.

“my love I am so sorry” he whispered, “why is she-“

“If I do, she’ll let you off the isle, all of you, but if I don’t-“ your voice broke, more tears running down your face, soaking Harry's shoulder “the document will never be approved and she’ll make me leave you here to die and I cant-I can't I just can't do that!” you screeched, your body shaking intensely “but when you-when you come over, she said I can never see you again and-and if I- if she finds out we talk she’ll send you back and I can't have that I need you in Auradon and alive and-“ you couldn’t stop rambling, your eyes wide.

“(y/n), princess please, deep breathes” Harry cooed, pulling you away from him and cupping your cheeks “you’re hyperventilating”

“Harry im so sorry” Harry shushed you, kissing your forehead. “lass you had no control in her decision, well figure this out”

“im sorry, im sorry, im sorry” you muttered over and over, your fingers drifting through his jacket.

“love…(y/n) whats-(Y/N)?!?!” Harry grabbed for you, screaming as his arms drifted through you “NO whats- what are you?! (Y/N)?!”

“im sorry” you sobbed, laying your hands between your knees and pressing your face to them “im so sorry”

“(y/n)!” Harry reached out for you, crying out as his hand went through you and you disappeared, “NO!” the world around him started to crack, the cherry blossom tree above him turning grey, its blossoms dying and turning to ash. “noNonONO! PLEAse nO!” the mountains in the distance crumbled, the earth beneath him breaking, sending him into the abyss.

“(Y/N)!!!” he screamed.

Harry shot up in bed, tears streaming down his face…..” why” he croaked, falling back and letting out a heart-wrenching sob, tossing an arm over his eyes “why?”

-end of part 14-

permtaglist

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@sephiralorange​

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[woogyu]

Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on S10xE12: THE WEDDING

Okay so y’all know how this is gonna go. A lot of tears. A lot of screaming via caps lock. And of course it wouldn’t be complete without a lot of “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH” and pet names for Mickey. Enjoy. 

Let’s get non related gallavich things out of the way because I don’t wanna finish this on a downer

I actually love Liam/Frank scenes

Debbie finally getting what she deserves? Good

Tami is a fucking bitch

Entitled little brat

You won’t change my mind about this

Don’t even try defending her

You NEVER use someone’s child against them.

Don’t threaten to take Fred away then be shocked that Lip ruined his sobriety

I just kept repeating “please no” when he paused before taking that first sip

It fucking hurt so much

Lip deserves BETTER

Tami is toxic. End of. Period.

Now let’s bring up the mood!!

Liam looking at the tuxes was so cute

He’s so confused

Mickey actually chose a white tux for himself :((((((

My snow angel🥺

Everyone checking on Ian is so sweet

Carl’s toe nail clippings “you picking those up” 😂😂😂

Ian really hates that shit doesn't he

I'm so proud of him for taking his meds

GIVE ME THOSE PHOTOS

"Savings" lmao

Baby got fancy for his wedding

HIS FACE I CANT😂😂😂

They shower together :((((

“Those are nice right?”

Fashionista Mickey making another comeback

Unpopular opinion but I love seeing his Ian tattoo on his chest ON THEIR WEDDING DAY

chin touch :(

So soft. So sweet.

THE WAY IAN GRABS HIM YES BITCH

THE GRUNT 🤤🤤🤤

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE FUCK

MICKEY IS T I N Y!!!!

TOWEL

NECK KISS

FUCK

I fucking hate terry

I need him dead because my baby isn’t safe until he is

His little “what?” 😩

HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER

GET HIM BABY

But like don’t because I need you free

Can sandy poison terry or something?

Sandy 😂😂

This scene was sad because my poor baby but so early shameless I love it

Carl and the beer trilogy 😂😂😂

“I don’t wanna get married where my shoes stick to the floor”

GIVE THE PRINCE HIS ROYAL WEDDING

The spinal cord line 😂😂😂

Mickey’s a Gallagher I don’t care what their last name is

HERE COME THE TEARS AGAIN

“Why is Mickey handcuffed?”

“Terry fucking wins again” NO BABY

MY FUCKING HEART

ILL GIVE YOU ALL THE HALLOWEEN CANDY TO FILL YOUR LITTLE TUMMY BABY BOY

I WANNA BUY YOU ALL THE CHRISTMAS GIFTS YOU WANT

LET ME ADOPT YOU

IM SO FUCKING SAD FOR HIM

HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER

“I love you. I love you” 😭😭😭😭😭

“This son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy” IM SOBBING ALL OVER AGAIN

In so little words Lip really said “Mickey Milkovich deserves the wedding of his dreams and we’re gonna make it happen if it’s the last thing I do”

Did anyone else start singing Carrie Underwood when Ian said “Louisville slugger”

The Gallagher’s love Mickey so much

I LOVE MICKEY SO MUCH

IAN FUCKING LOVES MICKEY SO MUCH

“Mickey might have to marry Debbie instead of Ian”

“Nice polish boy named Michael” LMAO

I love Lip

OKAY THIS SCENE KILLED ME

The way Mickey is looking at Ian melts my heart

Again their height difference murdered me

YOU WANT KIDS?

K I D S

IAN WANTS KIDS WITH MICKEY BUT WE ALREADY KNEW THAT

FUCK HIS DREAM FROM THE ICONIC DELETED SCENE IS COMING TRUE

IF THEY DONT HAVE KIDS NEXT SEASON IM RIOTING

I like when they make fun of each other because they are literally best friends forever

THEIR SMILES

MILKOVICH

GALLAGHER

BUT WHICH ONE IS IT NOW

Ian is obsessed with holding mickey’s neck

THUMB

MY BOYS LOOK SO HANDSOME IN THEIR TUXEDOS

Mickey trying to be nice to this lady 😂😂

I LOVE HIS VOICE

They have mutual friends and I’m fond

I told y’all it’s the little things that get me

“Chiavari chairs look nice” “I like how the gold catches the light” DONE

The cake topper I NEED IT

I HATE TERRY I HATE TERRY I HATE TERRY

The lip and Ian scene made me cry again

THE SONG

IAN YOU SAP

HE LOVES MICKEY SO MUCH

As soon as I heard the first cords of the song I IMMEDIATELY bursted into sobs

IM CRYING AGAIN

MY LONELY DAYS ARE OVER 😭😭😭

Once again I’m beyond jealous of sandy

I wanna walk my baby down the aisle 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HES SO CUTE FUCK

IM HONESTLY NOT OKAY

THE NIGHT I LOOKED AT YOU

I DIDNT KNOW THIS SONG WAS GONNA HURT SO MUCH

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE AGAIN IM SO BLESSED

It’s like even more noticeable this episode right?????

TINY AND TALL

BLACK HAIR AND RED HAIR

BLUE EYES AND GREEN EYES

WHITE TUX AND BLACK TUX

TOUGH AND SOFT

THEY COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE

Kev was so funny finally

GET HIS HOMOPHOBIC ASS GAY JESUS SQUAD

When they kept singing even after he pulled his gun I cried so hard

I’m crying again wtf

THE VOWS FUCK

TO BE MY HUSBAND

IM FULL ON UGLY CRYING I CANT EVEN SEE THE SCREEN

I IAN TAKE YOU MICKEY TO BE MY HUSBAND

FUCK THIS HURTS SO MUCH

AFTER ALL THE SHIT THEYVE BEEN THROUGH THEYRE GIVING THEMSELVES TO EACH OTHER IN THE PUREST WAY POSSIBLE

“Now?” “Yes now” HE WAS SO EAGER AND SHOCKED THAT THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE SINCE HE WAS A KID IS NOW HIS HUSBAND

We got to see the smitten lovesick Ian Gallagher from s1 again

HES NEVER STOPPED BEING SMITTEN AND LOVESICK BY MICKEY

Honestly same

Not gonna lie, seeing frank emotional made me even more emotional

MICKEYS SMILE COULD LIGHT THE WORLD

MY SON IS ACUALLY MY SUN

THE HAND HOLDING IS SO CUTE

THEYRE ACTUALLY MARRIED

HUSBANDS!!!!!

IAN SO PROUD HAVING HIS BABY ON HIS ARM

YES MICKEY IS IANS BABY FIGHT ME

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY

MICKEY DANCING IS THE CUTEST THING IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE

“I miss mom” that hurt a lot more than I thought it ever would

I’m glad they mentioned Monica. Ian loved her so much

YOURE REALLY GONNA PLAY PERFECT RIGHT NOW FUCK YOU

“I should probably go dance with my husband” THATS YOUR HUSBAND CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

The head neck tuck 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY THEYRE HOLDING EACH OTHER LIKE THEY NEVER WANNA LET GO

“We were just kids when we fell in love not knowing what it was I will not give you up this time” FUCK WHOEVER PICKED THIS SONG YOU WIN

I actually hate this song with a passion but suddenly I love it

LIKE THEYRE ACTUALLY SLOW DANCING

SLOW DANCING AT THEIR OWN WEDDING

IAN REALLY HAD TO DO THE NECK GRAB WITH THE THUMB RUB COMBO JUST TO KILL ME DIDNT HE

THEYRE SO IN LOVE IVE NEVER SEEN A LOVE THIS DEEP BEFORE (and I’m fucking married to the love of my life/high school sweetheart lmao)

Liam getting the car for them was the sweetest thing

He opens the car for Ian :((((

HE HOPS INTO THE CAR MY LITTLE BUNNY

Frank is genuinely happy for them and that fucks me up so much

THEY REALLY HAD TO USE RED SHEETS HUH

THEY KNEW IT WOULD FUCK US ALL UP EVEN MORE THAN WE ALREADY ARE

The soft touches are always my favorite

They make my heart flutter

“Morning Mr. Gallavich” OKAY SAY WHAT YOU WANT BUT THAT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING CUTE

“Morning Mr......Millogher?” THE CUTENESS WONT STOP

Mickey physically cannot stop caressing Ian

THE THUMBS ALWAYS GET ME

Like I actually look for them knowing they’re gonna be doing the thumb rub

Fucking terry

BUT THEY LOOK SO CUTE COVERED IN FEATHERS

There Mickey goes again with the Ian caressing

in case you forgot: THEYRE MARRIED

HUSBANDS

I can’t believe this actually happened. They’re actually MARRIED. After everything they/we have been through....wow. I’m still in shock. I’m still crying my eyes out. Now I’m gonna go cuddle up with my husband and make him watch the episode with me since he finally has time. I’m over emotional. It’s not fair that they wait until I’m pregnant to let Mickey be happy. It’s like they enjoy my uncontrollable sobs. Leave me your thoughts! I wanna talk about this episode forever.

[gaygraybles]

DO ALL 50 😘💕💕💕💕✨

thank you dear, this was a pain and it wont be formatted correctly sue me

1. do you have a crush on anyone?

yes 👀

2. what’s your favorite candy?

i could eat a hundred reces cups in one sitting so

3. favorite love song?

hmmm is hello my old heart a love song

4. what was your first kiss like?

gay///

5. what was your last kiss like?

VERY gay

6. sexual/romantic orientation?

gay!

7. do you prefer poems or love letters?

i prefer love comics actually lmao

8. favorite fanfic trope?

oof i have not read fanfiction in a while

9. have you ever been in love?

maaaaaybe 👀 yes absolutely

10. favorite milkshake flavor?

CHOCOLATE

11. dinner dates or brunch dates?

dinner dont fucking wake me up for brunch thats my sleeping time its 2am right now

12. favorite flowers?

lilies are the prettiest for a bouquet, sunflowers make me happy tho

13. favorite perfume/cologne?

i have this cologne i got from hot topic like a million years ago it smells like angsty teenager i dont know if it smells good or just familiar

14. favorite candle scent?

midsummers night, yankee candle makes it it smells crisp

15. what’s your ideal first date?

so im invited to an estate at the top of a hill after dark because it cannot be accessed during the day, I assume its because its hosting another event but when i get there it almost seems as though nobody has lived in the house for a hundred years, and in fact im sure ive been there before and there was no house there at all, but here it stands in front of me in a thick fog while the sky threatens to unleash a torrential downpour that would give me no choice but to venture into the house accompanied or otherwise-im getting to the date part hold on-

16. favorite love story?

oh fuck have any of yall read the bone houses by emily lloyd jones? its not rlly a love story but its the only one i can think of rn

17. what’s the most attractive thing a person could wear?

pants that fit 😒

18. chocolate, vanilla, or red velvet?

red velvet but mostly because of the frosting

19. snow, rain, or sun?

rain!!! but only because i live somewhere thats sunny 350 days a year

20. sweetest romantic memory?

walking through a park while the sun was setting and there was snow on the ground and on everything

21. favorite dating sim (and favorite character)?

ok honestly i played that fuckin arcana game for a minute and i liked asra, the Aesthetic

22. fictional crushes?

well they only make orange and grape i think so any other flavor would be fictional

23. what’s your dream wedding like?

wouldnt u like to know, weather boy

24. what makes you blush?

goddamn everything, existing in a physical capacity

25. do you believe in love at first sight?

ehhhhh

26. do you believe in soulmates?

maybe

27. denim jackets, leather jackets, or bomber jackets?

leather jackets leather jackets

28. what’s your sign?

yield

29. are you single?

no!

30. do you prefer to charm, or be charmed?

i just bought a box of beads to make bracelets so i guess i like to charm but that doesnt mean im good at it

31. guitar or piano?

my fingers dont bend right to play the guitar otherwise i would, i can kinda play the piano tho

32. favorite romcom (or any romantic movie)?

eugh no

33. do you fall in love easily?

yes and no

34. valentine’s decorations: yay or nay?

that would take up so much timeee, and for what, what does anybody do on valentines day besides eat candy and do laundry

35. would you prefer to propose or be proposed to? what’s your dream proposal?

wouldnt YOU like to know, weather boy 👀

36. cloud gazing or star gazing?

star gazing, im not awake when the stars arent out

37. do you like to dance?

not in public

38. what’s your OTP?

me and @enbyblades

39. kittens or puppies?

KITTENS

40. coffee, hot chocolate, or tea?

i like cold coffee everything else hurts my face

41. favorite soda?

barqs superiority its rootbeer with caffeine bitches

42. do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa?

please let my lie down im so tired

43. favorite ABBA song?

dancing queen u know its a classic

44. fuck/marry/kill? (anons name 3 people of your choice)

you you and you i guess, watch out

45. favorite pajamas?

every year i buy valentines boxers and use them as pj shorts, those are comfy

46. favorite liquor?

screwball is really good but if i have shit to do ill take vodka

47. do you think about love a lot?

i think about my love a lot yes

48. a walk in the park or a walk on the beach?

park!!

49. hand kisses or nose kisses?

hand, ull smudge my glasses if u kiss my nose then ill have to clean them and its a whole thing

50. what’s your dreamhouse?

I GET A WHOLE HOUSE????? i want a desk and bookshelves so bad

[theobsessor1]

Soulmate au

A soulmate au idea if you will indulge me

Im just ramble on about the idea because I feel like I would suck actually writing the fic or probably won’t ever get around to actually attempting to write it. Warning this is long Do with this what you will. Write your own if ya want, just wanted to share my thoughts. So! Soulmate au, your chest glows when your close to your soulmate. Maybe they glow in different colors, maybe it just white light ((idea from this post (link)))

The possibility of glowing starts from age 12, and so begins your optional search for your soulmate.

Not everyone takes it seriously, it's like the universe is giving you a suggestion. Saying hey your a really good match for each other, most people listen to it, but not all.

In comes our boys under the cut

Roman:

He’s a radio show host, does a range of things on his show. Playing music by queer artists or their allies. Talks to listeners and giving them advice the best he can and just a safe space to talk for the queer community. Cause even tho the universe will say that two men are meant to be, there are those who still are disgusted.

After all no one knows how or why the chest glowing is a thing, it just is. So who’s to say it is good or bad?

Roman is a strong believer in soulmates, after all he does love his fiance more than just about anything. He still can’t help this small feeling that something is missing tho.

Roman loves to go see plays during his free time, sometimes he accidentally rambles on about them on his radio show. Has gotten into a few debates with his listeners and even got his fiance riled up into joining one such debate.

Lives in a nicely sized homemade for two, plus a guest room at the insistence from Logan that they must have one, even tho neither of them really invite friends over opting to head to friends houses instead.

Logan:

Roman’s fiance. They don’t plan to get married any time soon, really just got the rings for people to leave them alone and stop asking if they were dating because their chests glowed.

Logan is the co-owner of the radio show with Roman. He rarely ever goes on air, he works mainly with their equipment and making sure they keep to a relatively to the same schedule every day.

He writes in his spare time, hasn’t really published anything yet. He’s more content to just share it freely online at the moment. 

Insisted that they have the guest room just in case anyone does ever come over, because he will not allow anyone to sleep on the couch like a heathen.

Has a large bookshelf in their living room stuffed with books, most are his.

Patton:

I was thinking baker at first cause why fix whats not broken but then a better idea struck!!

A childcare assistant! He works at a children’s daycare, keeping an eye kiddos while there parents are at work.

He’s the kiddos favorite but ssssh, don’t tell any one. 

He sneaks them extra snacks if they behave, or read them bed time stories during nap time to help them snooze. 

Patton of course bakes and knits in his free time. 

He lives in a relatively nice one bedroom apartment, with his plants. 

Patton stumbles upon Logan, quite literally, in the library when he’s looking for a book to help him with his knitting.  Several flustered apologies later as they dust each other off from the fall Patton realizes their chests are glowing!!!

It’s so exciting!! Patton practically squealed, with a startled Logan trying to wrap his head around what was happening. Let’s just say Logan panics and it takes some time for Patton to calm him down. 

Once calmed down Logan tries to politely excuse himself and takes off. He of course goes crying to Roman, how could it be possible. He’s heard rumors of course of rare cases where people have glowed around more than one person but he never really thought it was possible. 

This causes them both to freak out some. Later on of course Roman will get Logan to warm up to the idea, I mean its twice the amount of love come on. He can shower even more people in affecton! And this stranger sounds down right adorable so why would he complain.

Poor Patton isn’t sure what to do, so what’s he do well. He calls for advice to that wonderful Radio show of course!

Shenanigans ensue!

Virgil: 

Virgil works with a small animation studio, making art and costume clothes in his free time. He made his patched hoodie after all.

Virgil isn’t all that confident in soul mates, just isn’t his thing. 

He lives in a dingy apartment, makes magic work with just noodles and some left over meat. Is kinda broke if ya couldn’t tell. That’s why he has taken to a talent of recycling clothes and making something new out of them. Plus it fits his aesthetic. 

Only ever leaves his house to visit his best friend Remy’s cafe. He’s allergic to the outside he likes to say while hissing at the sun.

Has Roman’s radio show playing as background noise most of the time. Found that one with the poor guy tripping in the library interesting. Poor guy didn’t get such a great first impression.

Virgil is visiting the cafe one day with his bro Thomas, chilling at one of the tables when Patton comes in dragging Roman and Logan in with him happily talking their ears off to try the stuff there. 

Virgil definitely didn't stare for along time observing them, with all their own different attractive assets. He’s just people watching shut up Thomas. 

It isn’t until later when the group sit down at a table that Thomas points out that Virgil may be glowing under his thick hoodie. Causing the emo to panic and off course hide that fact as the group seems to take notice of themselves glowing. 

Let’s just say its one hell of a first meeting. Virgil could hardly talk through his gay panic when the guys finally realize he was the last one. Luckily Thomas is there to help him out, that little shit.

Deceit: 

I like giving him the name Dean. 

Surprisingly he’s soulmate’s with Thomas. Tho he doesn’t really do much about it, they’ve become QPPs.

Dee has known Virgil and Thomas since highschool, he was much more of a delinquent back than. The two, mostly Thomas has help keep him out of trouble for the most part. 

He lives with Thomas, they have their own bedrooms. No one is sure what his job is. 

(He’s a police detective, mainly works in homicide usually, but shoosh don’t tell it’ll ruin his reputation of being a heathen)

Just because he works with the police doesn’t mean he cares for the law, you wanna break a few rules you go right ahead child, here have a lolipop too. 

He has a dark sense of humor, Oh you have a problem with some one just murder them! 

Thomas- No!      Dee- fine, a light stabbing then  Thomas- NO!

He is protective of his cinnamon roll Thomas, and takes great pleasure in rilling him up. 

Was able to convince Thomas to allow him to have two pet snakes, two ball pythons his precious babies. 

Him and Remy can go on flirting with each other for hours those dorks. Its like a contest who can get the other to fall flat first.

Remy:

The man that embodies sass. 

He opened a cafe, encouraging other people’s coffee addictions and satisfying those with a sweet tooth. 

Knows every single one of these poor gay idiots and is watching with a bag of popcorn at their horrible attempts at romancing one another. 

He an Emile are just betting one who does what and enjoy the chaos of the oblivious pinning. 

The one to introduce Dee to Thomas.

Emile:

Of course he still is a therapist, what else would he be.Still obsessed with cartoons.

Is best friends with Virgil and Thomas. Is a bit weary of Dee, but what can ya do.

Absolutely adores Remy, that’s his sass man. They’ve known each other since childhood, practically declaring to mary each other with candy rings.

Remy and him are happily soulmates, living in a nice quite home. 

They have a cute mainecoon named pumpkin spice, pumpkin for short.she sleeps with Emile’s stitch plush on their couch.

Emile is ecstatic to hear that Virgil found his soulmates when he tells him. Or even that he was talking to people in general that weren’t Remy, Dee, Thomas or himself for once.

Hopefully these new guys can get Virgil out of his house more often, he’s a little concerned about his vitamin D intake. Don’t tell me that mister, your not allergic to the sun!

Don’t know if I’ll actually write this at any point in time, feel free to use with credit i guess. Idk just sharing my ramblings.

[rhiezus]

               1989 As Our Ships, Moments & Characters.

Welcome To New York

This song is kind of annoying but it’s a classic, of course that I thought of Kim Yura and Abe Chiyo first because... c’mon, first Yura was born in New York and second the lyrics is very them... Also a little bit of WNDR? Because of their tour? I mean they getting famous and coming to America, it also reminded me of them a lot because it’s like fame is been waiting for them.

Walking through a crowd, the village is aglow Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats Everybody here wanted something more Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before

I mean you can see why I mentioned WNDR right?

When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors Took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer Everybody here was someone else before And you can want who you want Boys and boys and girls and girls

Also Kim Yura and Abe Chiyo forgetting their past to be together and shit.

Blank Space

Okay I have no idea, I thought of Linlin but... I don’t know, the thing is this album has a lot of “personas” created by Taylor so it’s hard to tell which one of them is who. I have no idea, seriously, let’s just listen and think together. 

Style

I was thinking about this one while I was washing the dishes, that’s why I decided to do this today, hehe. Okay so hear me out, first I remembered this whole album I tried to associate with Nayoung years ago but then I was remembering our ships and came up with Julie and Valak, but I was like? Not so much because they are very dragged only by each other, so I don’t know. Then I though of 2sun, I was like, yes? Very much. But then, finally out of nowhere I was... Oh my god this is Ruy and Hai.

The lights are off, he's taking off his coat (mm, yeah) I say, "I heard, oh That you've been out and about with some other girl" Some other girl He says, "What you heard is true, but I Can't stop thinking 'bout you, and I" I said, "I've been there too a few times"

Right? I mean... It was exactly why i thought about them.

Oh, you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down (and when we go) We come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

The gays literally never go out of style, that’s why we keep making them.

Out Of The Woods

Oh my baby, I love this song. Funny thing that when this about first launched, I didn’t like this song because I thought it was too repetitive but then when I came across while we were in the mood “nayoung x keun breakup fiasco thing”, I just fell in love with it. Because it’s literally Nayoung’s mind, I just- Yeah. I also I was just thinking about how it reminds me of Danbi and Daehyun too, somehow?

Looking at it now It all seems so simple We were lying on your couch I remember You took a Polaroid of us Then discovered (then discovered) The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color

It makes so much sense, yes. I don’t have much to say about 1989 this album just speaks for itself, I just point the people that it speaks to.

Looking at it now Last December (last December) We were built to fall apart Then fall back together (back together) Your necklace hanging from my neck The night we couldn't quite forget When we decided, we decided To move the furniture so we could dance Baby, like we stood a chance

December? Does it ring a bell? Haha, we knew. 

Also, I gotta add this description by Genius, again: The repetitive nature of the chorus reinforces the idea that the fear and nerves that came with the relationship were overbearing and completely took over her thoughts. 

When you started crying, baby, I did too But when the sun came up, I was looking at you Remember when we couldn't take the heat? I walked out and said, "I'm setting you free" But the monsters turned out to be just trees When the sun came up, you were looking at me

I wanna cry this is so Nayoung and Keun, for god sakes... Finally they out of the woods kkkjkjk

All You Had To Do Was Stay

Anna and Kuen, I literally just thought of it. Before I thought of Haneul and Hyuntae, but honestly? Totally Anna and Kuen, I can literally see.

People like you always want back The love they gave away And people like me wanna believe you When you say you've changed The more I think about it now The less I know All I know is that you drove us Off the road

Yeah, I mean, I’m still out of words, I’m just trying to make my point cross effectively. 

Let me remind you This was what you wanted You ended it You were all I wanted  But not like this

Yes?? Also, she repeats the “stay” like a hundred times so, yeah.

Shake It Off

It is still Hailey to me, or just WNDR being goofyes in the dorm. Literally what Taylor says about this song just speaks to WNDR in a nutshell: I really wanted it to be a song that made people want to get up and dance at a wedding reception from the first drum beat. But I also wanted it to be a song that could help someone get through something really terrible if they wanted to focus on the emotional profile, on the lyrics.

But I keep cruisin' Can't stop, won't stop groovin' It's like I got this music in my mind Saying it's gonna be alright

So yeah, nothing more to say. 

I Wish You Would

I literally can’t stand the connections between Taylor’s songs and Harry anymore on genius, but here we go. This song is about while he was in the car making the decision to get out the car and see her, she was sitting in her bedroom, wishing he would make the move and go back to her and just pitch up at her house. She compared it to a classic John Hughes movie where both parties want the same thing but neither has the guts to say anything.... So it did kinda reminded me of Nayoung and Keun, can you blame me, no? BecUASE LITERALLY ALL THIS ALBNUM Oh MY gOD, This is so Bonghu and Sanchan breakup days too... 

I wish you would come back Wish I never hung up the phone like I did, I Wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I live, and I Wish you were right here, right now, it's all good

Like, shut up?? It’s totally young Bonghu and Sanchan, okay? Okay.

It's 2AM in my room Headlights pass the window pane I think of you We're a crooked love in a straight line down Makes you want to run and hide But it makes you turn right back around

Hahahah, I soooo I’m right, I don’t knowkkjl.

Bad Blood.

THIS IS CHIHYE AND INNA. OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS SO CHIHYE AND INNA. ALSO. THIS IS 7SINS TO JULIE. KKKK IM DYING. Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?‘ she did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ .... 7SINS ABOUT JULIE, AND CHIHYE AND INNA ABOUT Hmm NothING THEY JUST BITTER (MAYBE BC BOTH MARRIED PYONGHO AND ONE LITERALLY FOR NOTJISNJKJ)

Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted Did you have to ruin what was shiny? Now it's all rusted Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?

I mean Julie literally kind of destroyed 7sins so I can see the point of anger, and Chihye is just a bitch so yeah...

Band-aids don't fix bullet holes You say sorry just for show If you live like that, you live with ghosts

Yes girls, that’s why them, in the end, make peace with each other is all good SPB is the bitch here c’mon... And I mean Chihye and Inna were never “friends” again because they never really saw each other again but Inna always made an effort and still wanted Chihye to be alright? So it’s true she lives with ghosts, she went nuts... But I wonder now if their friendship never ended because off status and guy problems, maybe... just maybe... Chihye would have moved on for a better life and maybe even Nayoung wouldn’t have been born and things would be good. In the other hand, 7sins was built to break because SPB was poor and hanging by a string, so all that shit just was the point of the iceberg so it was fine judging Julie for a while because she didn’t take it personally and when things were revealed that it indeed was for the best, they didn’t share grudges and just moved on with their lives like they were supposed to. 

Wildest Dreams.

We literally just talk about her, I mean Chihye is every tragic story about Taylor.. But, in a way, this could also be about Inna and Pyongho, or Lian and Chihye, it depends on the day. ALSO COULD BE OH MY GOD ARAKI AND KAYNKKKJ, yes. 

He said, "Let's get out of this town Drive out of this city, away from the crowds" I thought, "Heaven can't help me now" Nothing lasts forever But this is gonna take me down

OH, YES BRING ME THE TRAGIC BRING ME THE PAIN BRING ME THE SAD AND MEMORIES AND LONG LASTING LOVE AND YEEEEAAAAH. I’ll shut up.

He's so tall and handsome as hell He's so bad, but he does it so well I can see the end as it begins My one condition is

This just applies to Lian and Kayn, oh what a combination. Maybe not even them because they are nice too.

You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night Burnin' it down Someday when you leave me, I'd bet these memories Follow you around

Yes, Araki and Kayn & Lian and Chihye all in one song. Maybe I was just crazy with Pyongho and Inna, I don’t know, I get crazy all the time. This verse made me want to answer one of smutty times between Araki and Kayn, because literally all they do is fuck and miss each other.

How You Get The Girl

Finally, you are here Haneul and Hyuntae, I’ve waited to talk about how much this song is them because... You will see it. First Taylor says: It’s written for a guy who has broken up with his girlfriend, then wants her back after six months. But it’s not going to be as simple as sending a text like, ‘Sup? Miss you.’ That won’t work. You need to do all the things I say.

Stand there like a ghost Shaking from the rain, rain She'll open up the door and say, "Are you insane?" Say it's been a long six months And you were too afraid to tell her what you want

It wasn’t exactly like that, but a girl can imagine and not everything has to be right. First, because that’s literally Hyuntae realizing he did things wrong and missed his timing to explain things, but Haneul is just pissed at his ass. 

I want you for worse or for better I would wait forever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait forever and ever

Like I said, it wasn’t exactly like that but it was pretty similar. 

Remind her how it used to be, be, yeah-yeah With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks, cheeks Tell her how you must have lost your mind, ooh-ooh When you left her all alone And never told her why, why

I meAN, I MEAN??? CmOn. I love the “pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks” because it’s so cheesy and so Haneul and Hyuntae when they were dating, they probably do have pictures like that on their cellphones and at a time Haneul’s cheesy ass must even have one framed to give to Hyuntae. AND YOU LEFT HER ALL ALONE AND NEVER TOLD HER WHY, cmOn, yeah?kkjk Also lost your mind, yes, it was the anxiety talking, not Hyuntae, makes sense...

Anyways, I love this cheesy song because the beat, the lyrics, everything reminds me of Haneul and Hyuntae’s relationship not only as lovers but as friends too, you know? Yeah *sobs*

This Love

Oh, it’s Lian and Chihye again. Okay, let me think... yeah, can’t... Yeah. Also I was just about to go to the other song, when I thought “maybe this is Taewoon and Hojin” and then all of sudden... This is also Hansol and Chan-u.

This love is good, this love is bad This love is alive back from the dead, oh-oh, oh These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

The sad melody, the way Taylor is whispering? I mean, almost makes me wanna cry because I love young Lian and Chihye just trying to survive. (( I also love young and innocent Hansol with wicked and confused Chan-u, how they managed to survive and still get married and shit? wHO KnoWS

Tossing, turning Struggled through the night with someone new And I could go on and on, on and on Lantern, burning Flickered in my mind, only you But you were still gone, gone, gone

Totally Chihye about being with Pyongho but wanting to be with Lian... LeT IT GO, GO IN TO THE LIGHT CHIHYEEEEEEE

Your kiss, my cheek I watched you leave Your smile, my ghost I fell to my knees When you're young, you just run But you come back to what you need

*sOBS*, this part is so sad what the fuckkkjk. DIE CHIHYE DIE I CANT TAKE YOUR SADNESS IN THIS ALBUM ANYMOre for god sakes. “when youre young, you just run but you come back to what you need” sounds like a board name,, OH MY GOD THIS COULD ALSO BE TAEWOON AND HOJIN OH MY GODKKKJK shut up ..... Hansol and Chan-u got married and Chihye is dead, get over it, life is good xd

I Know Places

I don’t really listen nor like this song, but the lyrics reminded me of Julie and Valak, i’m telling this album is about the terrible and twisted people. ALSO YURA AND CHIYO TOO BECAUSE THEY ARE GAY AND MEDIA IS A BITCH.

You stand with your hand on my waistline It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight I can hear them whisper as we pass by It's a bad sign, bad sign Something happens when everybody finds out See the vultures circling, dark clouds Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out It could burn out

This is also jenkai. 

Baby, I know places we won't be found And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide I know places, I know places

For Julie and Valak the place is his car, that’s my theory. And Yura and Chiyo is just Japan... (jenkai is that park at midnight & jongin’s car). Oh my god, when Julie and Valak were discovered by dispatch imagine everyone like “valak drives?”

They are the hunters, we are the foxes And we run Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it My love

I’m addicted to this song now. 

Clean

My god I don’t know 2/4 of this album. It’s... Hansol and Chan-u, now that I remembered of them I simply won’t forget.

The drought was the very worst  When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst It was months and months of back and forth  You're still all over me Like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

See? I mean their relationship is very complicated, but according to genius this song is about getting over a heartbreak and moving on with your life to rediscover yourself and like Taylor said: When it did hit me, it was like, ‘Oh, I hope he’s doing well’. And nothing else. And you know how it is when you’re going through heartbreak. A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful. Good morning.’ You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day and planning fun dinner parties and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine. The first thought that came to my mind was – I’m finally clean....... Also, it reminded me of Haneul and Hyuntae. 

Ten months sober, I must admit Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it Ten months older, I won't give in Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it

I’m speechless for both ships. Also they both risk it so... hHAHAJKk Oh my god this is so Kaili getting over Julie too jkjkk jeez But finally what she says in the end sends me: The hidden message to Clean is “She lost him, but she found herself, and somehow that was everything.” This song is not just about losing someone you love – it’s also about losing yourself. Being clean is about moving on as a person and really taking care of yourself mentally.

Wonderland

How many songs are left for this, oh god... At this point I can only point Hansol and Chan-u too, I’m tired I’ve written to much. But because too: It is a description of a toxic relationship, from beginning to end. It uses the story of Alice In Wonderland as inspiration for the highs and lows of enjoying this state of relationship wanderlust, irrespective of negative consequences.

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your green eyes at me? Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twistin' around me I should have slept with one eye open at night

I seriously can’t take the Harry Styles on Genius anymore... You read this, you tell me who ship it is: https://genius.com/4254518

You Are In Love

I love this song *michael’s meme*. Seriously, ugh. Dedicated to all my lovebirds with a happy and healthy relationship who had been missing here because this album is so so very tragic and I haven’t got my time to mention them properly. Specially: Zeev and Eleanor, Kaili and Raye, Mark and Hana, Minhye and Jukan, Jinhyung and Kyungri... Who else?

Morning, his place Burnt toast, Sunday You keep his shirt, he keeps his word And for once, you let go Of your fears and your ghosts One step, not much, but it said enough You kiss on sidewalks You fight and you talk

This reminded me of Eleanor and Zeev... 

One night, he wakes Strange look on his face Pauses, then says "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

And this... Minhye and Jukan.

You can hear it in the silence (silence), silence (silence), you You can feel it on the way home (way home), way home (way home), you You can see it with the lights out (lights out), lights out (lights out) You are in love, true love

And this... Jinhyung and Kyungri.

And so it goes You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown And you understand now Why they lost their minds and fought the wars And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words

Okay the “office downtown” reminded me of Keun and Nayoung... I’m telling, I love this song I just can’t pick one ship for it. Also this song Taylor wrote for her friends who are in love and this comment just cracked me up: Isn’t it much more likely (and adorable) to imagine Jack looking at a picture of Lena while he produces music in his home studio? kkkj 

New Romantics

THE BEST WAY TO FINISH THIS FINALLY CAUSE IM SO TIRED. LETS JUST LISTEN AND APPRECIATE FOR God sakes its been an hour.

just appreciate me screaming the lyrics of this song in telegram when it cames.

[a-singing-carebear]

Coming out-honestly

*Fair warning - it came out (pun intended) very very lengthy, you really don't have to read it, it’s just a mess-salad.

I decided to wait until the last day of pride  (kinda, i won’t have the computer in the next couple of days so it’s now on the 28th and not the actually 30th) rather than on the first or some random day.

Last year i posted on Pride Month a short post about my sexaluy-just stating for those who didn’t know that i'm homoromantic (/ace lesbian / whatever) and happy pride...

A few weeks (or days) after i deleted that post.

I was scared, it was the first time i ever came out in a social/"public" place, and i know that a lot of other people who are closeted outside of the net find places like tumblr or twitter as a safe place.

But i panicked and the fact that an ex-friend (yes that a word i’m using) is following me didn't help. (even though i'm pretty sure she hasn't touched her account in years...)

I’ve known i'm queer for a while. Actually i was raised in a very heteronormative environment, (and in a pretty lonely and closed childhood, so i wasn't aware of a l o t of things) until i was 12 i didn't even knew what the LGBTQ+ community was (other than hearing people use "homo" as a curse word or an insult).

When i found out it was just like "oh cool". Then realised that i was falling in love with my best friend, what started everything. I started looking back and realising things that i thought were just me being too young, a late bloomer or just not interested in all of that. The thought process-maybe i’m bi-i think im bi-no lesbian-oh asexal is a thing- Until i finally understand myself completely. (Maybe one day i will make a post about that)

Almost two years ago i finally fully came out to myself (as weird as it sounds) as asexual homoromanrtic. I was desperate to find the correct label and explain it to others. I felt like i couldn't just be “queer”, that no one will take it seriously or believe it without a clear specific tag(\label).  (i’m not that much into labels, they can help and make you feel comfortable but why can’t i just say:

“i don’t think i have sexual attraction to anyone, i don’t want a sexaul relationship, i like girls, i want a girlfriend, and hey maybe there will be a guy someday that i will want to be with, in like a 2% present if even but still” .

(found this post a few days ago, it made me happy, like it was waiting just for me to read it, so thank you - https://atalana.tumblr.com/post/184952782507)

Now i’m almost 19, and knew for the past 7 years that i'm not straight, but it was really hard for me to be out to someone else. What if they will not accept me? What if they will hate me? What if it will make things awkward and uncomfortable? What if they'll tell me i’m wrong? (It has come to a point that i feel more comfortable coming out to people at my base (military) then my closest friends)...

I always said to myself that when i will have a girlfriend, this will be how i would come out - "...this is my girlfriend..."  But it’s so much harder, still single, been single all my life, i don't really know how the whole “asking out” thing works (especially with my self-doubt, anxiety, being an introvert, and of course my sexaulty- first i need to find a girl that i like than for her to be wlw then for her to want me and then for her to be fine with me being also ace.

Switching things up a bit, let's talk about Pride Parade. For almost three years now (maybe more) I wanted to attend Pride. but combining: closeted, social anxiety, not loving very big crowds and being alone (like not having anyone to go with), and you can kinda see why i haven’t even though i do want.  i can celebrate in my own way for now, looking at gay stuff in tumblr, re-reading the events of Stonewall ,listening to The Prom or Ben Platt’s “Sing to Me Instead”, watching Steven Universe, rewatching Love, Simon, making some(bad) queer art for myself etc.

For some reason it's really really hard for my to celebrate pride...cause i’m alone(feel alone at least). And i'm really terrified of being out. Even at home, even a simple thing like putting a flag or commenting gay stuff...

"Cause no matter what, announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying, cause what if the world doesn't like you." [-Love, Simon]

It’s all i want to do, to come out. I’m happy to be a part of the community, In silence and alone i embrace myself and everything… but, my feelings are so complicated.

"I feel like I’m stuck on a ferris wheel. One minute I’m on top of the world, then the next I’m at rock-bottom." [-Love, Simon]

I want be be proud, but It's just... For example, last week i was talking to someone and told her a story with two girls getting married, which ended in a big discussion with me defending and explaining the community, and finding out she's pretty homophobic. Then she asked me "wait are you a lesbian?"

"Ya, what of it?" That's what i wanted to say. i panicked, just froze and didn't answer her. And i know what you're going to say "we do understand, you just found out she's homophobic". It's more than that, i'm not sure if i would have acted differently if she wasn't...

It's so hard to be closeted, especially when your trying so hard to keep it that way (for some damn reason). I don't think there something wrong with me because i’m lgbtq+. i just think i couldn't handle the types of rejection/denial that i could receive.

Being in the closet is hard, growing up changing the pronouns in love songs, having nothing to say in "boys talk" etc. My little personal bubble is colorful (like a soap bubble in the sun), it's just so hard to me to show it. I need the courage, the self-confidence and the safeness of my surrounding, i just don't have them…

[This is what i love about people from the community wearing pride colors, it helps. it gives me hope and validness, it’s makes me so happy, i don’t feel that alone. it’s like holding a big sigh “hey i’m queer too, you’re accepted & safe!”]

Here, My closest friends for example, we’re friends for almost 5 years now, but i haven't told them. at all. I know they will accept me. But it can affect our relationships so much. I hope it doesn't... It's like a bandaid, i just need to rip it off, but it will hurt. Like opening Pandora's box, who know what will come out.

I’m out to my younger brother, but he doesn't like that i talk about it too often.  I told my previous therapist. I came out to a new friend of mine, and then(of other reasons)a few weeks after we stopped being friends. My mother kinda know but not really. Two weeks ago i came out to a good friend of mine (but that i know only 4 month), and the only reason i felt comfortable telling him was because i knew he moves away in a couple of weeks (so even if it will be a disaster, i wouldn't have to see him again).

That's it.

So I was wondering for a while lately why didn't i already came out yet to any of my close friends? To my family?  Yes, we already realise that it’s because i'm scared of what will happen,

I think i get another reason why, Because what if i’m wrong? What if it will change? What if i am just a late bloomer? If it’s false? Or what if i tell someone for example that i’m homoromantic and down the line i will find out i’m actually biromantic or vice versa or just a lesbian...

The amounts of anxiety i’m dealing with on a daily basis in every aspect of my life and my low, non existent self-esteem, make me qustion evey single time my sexualty. 

Even when i’m already out to myself and know what i like, there's this voice keep telling me that maybe i’m wrong. I’m fine with just being queer, with not using a specific labels (and i’m fine with). But it feels like the others, the society around me, need those tags. It can't end with “i was in love with that girl” or “i want a girlfriend”, and furthermore, a lot of pepole have no idea about asexalty. so telling them that i’m also ace or that i’m homoromantic will be completed...

Don’t get me wrong, i know who i am, what i like, i’ve known for a long time. But i also know that it’s a spectrum and its flexible, it just, like i said, I don’t think anyone will except/believe me if my "tags" would "change".

Then i realised. It’s ok... Even if i’m not totally sure, even if it could change, it’s an exploration, an experience. And most importantly- it matters, it’s real. whoever i am, now it’s real and i have to be more confident with myself (and not to let my already existing tons of self-doubt affect how i accept my own sexualy).

So “i’m gay, gay means Happy”.

Happy Pride! LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE

Sorry for the huge, huge, enormous post. Thank you so much for listening, if you stayed until now (and coungration!) Just hope i don't regret it and delete this too…

Still not sure what to do… If you have any advices for me (or something else to say) i would love to hear.

Sorry again for the length, mess and probably grammar mistakes. I really needed to get it out there.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]

[justforshitsandcackles]

funny prompts

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.”

“If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.”

“Somebody needs to shut up.” 

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?”

“That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?”

“Because we’re attracted to each other.”

“I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.”

“It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.”

“Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?”

“Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but...no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.”

“Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. let me grab my machete.”

“We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.”

“I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?”

“Tying my shoe.”

“You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit...i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.”

“well i mean-”

“whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

Once again, these are loosely categorized as funny.

admin Charlie💕

[spellcastersjudgement]

please could you do fusionshipping and number 7?

*takes drag of cigarette* fusionshipping, you say? that was baby froots oh tee pee growing up…this one is gonna bring back a lot of super gay sixth grade headcanons and feelings and u know what?? im glad  

#7: a kiss to shut them up 

Jaden Yuki was like the sun. Warm, bright, a symbol of happiness and growth. Zane wasn’t cliche enough to state that he was the moon or something, but Atticus supplied that for him. His best friend had a goldmine of of gross poetic things to say about the differences between himself and Jaden, and if Zane wasn’t a closet romantic and desperately pining for the other duelist, he would’ve backhanded Atticus with enough force to give him whiplash. 

That wouldn’t be the only reason Atticus Rhodes needed to be backhanded. He’d been earning his comeuppance for several years now. 

“Hey, look over there,” 

Zane heard Atticus’s voice at his shoulder and smelled a scheme, but humored his best friend and looked over to where Atticus had jerked his head. 

Jaden Yuki had just walked into the convention center, duel disk on his arm, other arm linked through Jesse Anderson’s. Jim and Hassleberry were a few steps behind them, also with duel disks–that was a bit surprising, as Zane hadn’t seen either of their names on the registration for the tournament. They wouldn’t be competing in the same bracket, so Zane didn’t think too much of it. They wouldn’t have been good competition anyway. There was another issue though. If Jaden had all of them here, plus Syrus as his manager, it would– 

“Damn, we’re not gonna get any alone time with him,” Atticus grumbled. They were at the bar, day drinking to survive the opening ceremonies for the tournament, which was too much talking and not enough card games for Zane. 

Though he was loathe to agree with Atticus, Zane could privately admit that Jaden showing up with his entourage would mean that he would have less time with the brunette. “We?” 

“Yeah, we, Zaney. You and Jaden see each other all the time at the super high-level tournaments, but you never make any moves without me bugging you,” Atticus downed his drink and signaled the bartender for another. “Now I have to work on separating Jaden from the pack and then I have to make sure you do your job of actually flirting with him instead of just staring at him and hoping he gets the message,” 

“Stop strategizing.” Zane ordered. 

“Zane, if you would get off your ass and actually–” 

“I’ll see Jaden at the next tournament, this one doesn’t matter.” Zane grumbled, knowing that Atticus wouldn’t take him seriously but saying it out of principle. 

“This one does matter–come on, I need you two together while I’m still young!” Atticus said, throwing up his hands, exasperated. 

“He doesn’t like me, Rhodes,” 

“You don’t know that!” Atticus started on his typical spiel of how Zane wasn’t a mind reader, how he’d never know the joys of love if he didn’t risk experiencing pain, that Jaden was single and put up with Zane’s shit, which was more than Zane should expect from anyone. 

“Come on, you two are perfect–sun and moon remember? Yin and yang? Do I have to read my poems to you again?” Atticus threatened. 

“Read me a poem and I’m cutting off your hair,” 

“You say that all the time, Zaney–my hair is still as long and beautiful as ever.” Atticus’s took a sip from his fourth drink of the afternoon. “Look, you get blasted, you flirt with him, tell him how you feel–a year from now you’ll be Mr. and Mr. Yuki-Truesdale and I get to officiate the wedding,” 

Jaden Yuki-Truesdale did have a nice ring to it. 

“I’m not doing that,” Zane said, mostly because even in his most private fantasies of Jaden and him being together Atticus Rhodes was not the one marrying them. He’d already slated Alexis for that position. 

Atticus wasn’t paying attention anymore, he was laying a hand over his heart, smiling, a faraway, dreamy look in his eyes.  “Come on, come on–opening ceremonies tonight. Picture this: sit next to him, take his hand, look down into those big, beautiful eyes, stroke his cheek, tower over him on your spider legs and whisper: Jaden Yuki, will you do me the honor of being my Eternal Sunshine?” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Zane snapped, feeling a blush coming on. Eternal Sunshine. What a name. What a fitting name.

“You two would be adorable–you with your goth aesthetic,’ Atticus motioned to  Zane’s all-black ensemble, the makeup, the nails, the choker. “And him, with his boy-next-door aesthetic–adorable! It’s the season for love!” 

“It’s midwinter,” 

“All seasons are seasons for love, you frigid bitch,” Atticus huffed, shoving Zane’s shoulder. “Look, I’m going to go distract everyone and–” 

“Atticus if you set me up with Jaden I’m going to smother you with a pillow,” 

“Now that’s a threat I believe,” Atticus said. “That’s why I made sure your manager booked us separate hotel rooms this time,” 

Atticus dropped the subject–sort of. He was now alternating between drinking and swiping through pictures of Chazz, and Zane would be lying if it didn’t make him jealous to hear his best friend gushing over his boyfriend. They were nearly impossible to stomach when they were together, what with Atticus coming up with nicknames and breaking out into song at every available opportunity. Zane had known Chazz for a long time, and when they’d gotten together he’d hoped the black-haired boy, who was always ragging on Jaden for being over-the-top, would bring Atticus’s antics to a grinding halt. He felt betrayed when Chazz started blushing and thanking Atticus for all of his romanticism instead of chastising him. 

In a moment of weakness, probably brought on by the alcohol, Zane reflected upon how maybe he should let Atticus help him out with Jaden.

The moment was gone in an instant. That would be a horrible idea. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Atticus whispered excitedly. “Eternal Sunshine at 6 o’clock,” 

“Don’t you–” 

It was too late. Atticus was already slapping down cash on the bar and standing up. “Hey there, Jaden! You know where the bathroom is?” 

“Hey Atticus!” Jaden’s voice sent a jolt of happiness through Zane, and he took another drink to calm the frantic beating of his heart. “Jesse’s heading to the bathroom now, just follow the blue hair,” 

Zane saw Jaden sink down into Atticus’s empty chair. “Hey Zane,” 

He swallowed another mouthful of gin and tonic before responding. “Nice to see you,” 

“What’s it been, a week?” Jaden laughed, leaning his elbow against the bar. “Didn’t expect you to be competing in an open-entry tournament,” 

“Atticus wanted to enter,” Zane tried not to think of sunshine and seasons of love as Jaden laughed again. 

“He bring Chazz with him?” 

“Chazz is halfway around the world with Alexis and Bastion,” 

“Oh yeah, Prague. Bastion told me about it, I didn’t think Chazzeroo was going with them,” Jaden picked up the drink menu, no doubt looking for something fruity and sweet, something Zane would never touch with a ten foot pole. Another thing Atticus liked to wax poetic about–only he could make something corny and romantic out of drink orders. 

“We should go to Prague,” 

Zane nearly choked on his drink as his mind rared into overdrive. His mind knew that logically the second half of that sentence was “for a tournament,” but his heart desperately wanted it to be for more personal reasons. Mr. and Mr. Yuki-Truesdale–damn Atticus for bringing the thought to the forefront of his mind (he’d thought of it before, certainly, but only late at night when he was feeling especially lonely, not in broad daylight with Jaden sitting right next to him)–on honeymoon in Prague. Not his first choice, he’d always imagined it on a beach somewhere, but if that’s what Jaden wanted–

This train of thought was strangely reminiscent of Atticus. They weren’t–god they weren’t even together, let alone married. One step at a time. 

Or zero steps at a time because you won’t do anything, Atticus’s voice–when had he gotten in here?–echoed in Zane’s head. 

“You alright, Zane?” Jaden asked, leaning forward, concern in his eyes–here he remembered Atticus comparing the color to some chocolate he’d bought for Chazz–and Zane was ready to swear off alcohol for the rest of his life if it was going to cause him to think of Atticus Rhodes. 

“Um, yeah, I’m good,” Zane said. “So you were saying we–that, uh, we should go to Prague,” 

“Oh yeah, I bet it’d be awesome!” Jaden thanked the bartender for the fluorescent pink daiquiri, picking up the cherry and popping it into his mouth. Zane nearly passed out at the images in his head. “I don’t know anything about it, but it’d be an adventure–think about it, two Americans lost in the Czech Republic, can’t read anything, only armed with our duel disks and wits–sounds like a movie,” 

“The only movies I’ve seen that take place in the Czech Republic are horror movies,” Zane said. That’s not the kind of movie he wanted to make with Jaden. 

God, bad choice of words. 

“You’d keep me safe–no one messes with Zane Truesdale,” Jaden smiled, and Zane–well he would have to agree with him. If anyone laid a hand on Jaden Yuki in his presence it would be the last thing they ever did.  

“Tell Syrus to register you in a tournament and I’ll tell my manager to resister me,” Zane said. 

“Tournament?” 

He looked up from his drink at Jaden’s surprised tone. He felt a glimmer of hope, praying that he wasn’t about to get it dashed. He had to play this cool, no matter what he was feeling. “I thought we were talking about competing together,” 

“What? Oh, no, um,” Jaden’s face, the pretty face that had both haunted and blessed Zane’s dreams, was bright red, his lush, coral pink bottom lip–god, he was starting to sound like Atticus again–between his teeth, his eyes to the floor, lush eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones. “That’s not–not what I meant,” 

Oh god. 

Zane let himself feel a bit more hopeful, sit up a little straighter, lean in toward the brunette. 

He was speechless, but Jaden couldn’t seem to stop the words from stumbling out of his mouth. “I’m so–oh god, um–I meant like, together, but not–I was talking with Jesse last night and then Alexis called me and Bastion–they all said that–that I should–even Syrus said that–I’m sorry Zane I thought that you–I thought that you liked me–I’m so–” 

For Zane, it felt as if time had stopped. Jaden–his Eternal Sunshine–returned his feelings. 

Jaden was still talking, wildly gesticulating, his drink sloshing out of the glass and staining his sleeve. Zane–Zane could listen to Jaden talk all night, had done so many times while they were together at tournaments, but right now he wanted Jaden to stop talking, but–but Zane couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell Jaden how much–

Well there was something else. 

“I just–I don’t want this to change our friendship and–” 

Jaden was still going. Zane stood up–spider legs, like Atticus said–put his hand, which he saw rather than felt, on Jaden’s chin, feeling the softness of his skin, brown eyes wide and surprised as Zane leaned down–

In all of his musings about what it would be like to kiss Jaden, Zane never expected a spontaneous kiss to surpass his perfectly constructed fantasies. 

The brunette’s lips weren’t soft like he expected–they were chapped, rough, the texture a delicious contrast to Zane’s silky lipstick. The fruity flavor of the drink lingered on his lips, and Zane could learn to love the taste if it was being served to him from Jaden’s mouth. 

Enthusiastic by nature, Jaden quickly recovered from the surprise to throw his arms around Zane’s neck, bringing them closer together–there was the sound of glass breaking and Zane could hear the remnants of Jaden’s drink dripping on to the floor. A tongue forced its way into Zane’s mouth, a hand buried into Zane’s hair, teeth clacked together–Zane was dizzy with alcohol and the sensation of having Jaden Yuki in his arms, kissing him with wild abandon, and wouldn’t be surprised if he’d keeled over and woken up to find this was all a dream. 

When Jaden pulled away, blue lipstick smeared on his chin, he knew it wasn’t. 

“So, uh–wanna make Prague our first vacation as a couple?” Jaden laughed, smiling. 

“Yes,” Zane choked out, stroking the side of Jaden’s face. “Yes, my Eternal Sunshine,” 

He realized what he’d said a moment later when Atticus’s laughed interrupted the moment. 

“Another plan well-executed!” Atticus praised himself. “I’ll go search for plane tickets to Prague,” 

“Hey, hey Addy,” Jaden called. “Be sure to book mine under Eternal Sunshine!” 

Zane was going to kill Atticus–he wanted to smack that self-satisfied grin off his face. 

After he got back from Prague, of course. 

[zesbian]

Can you answer the gay ask game? All of it. Lol :)

lol sure why not1.describe your idea of a perfect date- big fan of coffee shop stuff for first time dates, love goofy stuff for later on (wandering around Target for example)2. whats your “type”- girls. and I’ve discovered I love nose rings??? everyone i find rly hot has one lmao 3. do you want kids?- NOPE 4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?- X5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on- first time I met my ex was on Valentine’s Day, she got me flowers and stuff it was cute 6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)- okay so I haven’t had like actual gay sex but I’ve done some stuff and I was so nervous I was almost shaking lmao but it was alright 7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?- i prefer the mornings 8. opinion on nap dates?- YES but only if I have time! u gotta schedule a nap date!!! 9. opinion on brown eyes?- when the sun hits brown eyes > every other time the sun hits eyes 10. dog gay or cat gay?- CAT cause dogs are scary sometimes :/ 11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?- ....no. at least I don’t think I could lol, reptiles freak me out but some rodents I’d be okay with (NO MICE OR RATS) 12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone- political views and if they’re like make or break into super weird kinks 13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?- that’s its more than just a sexuality, there’s a whole culture behind it 14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self- stop making yourself chose random boys to have crushes on lmao. also worth is not measured in beauty, ignore them. and the opinion of men don’t matter, also if you don’t want a man to touch you then you don’t have to let them. and just cause your friends are bi doesn’t mean you have to be, everyone is their own person. 15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?- X16. who is an ex you regret?- B**** C****, my ex boyfriend, if ur out there, fuck off im a lesbian 17. night club gay or cafe gay?- cafe cause while I love night clubs I couldn’t do it everyday like I could a cafe 18. who is one person you would “go straight” for- Zain Javadd "Zayn" Malik (/ˈmælɪk/, Urdu: زین جواد ملک‬‎; born 12 January 1993), recording mononymously as Zayn, is an English singer and songwriter. Born and raised in Bradford, West Yorkshire, Malik auditioned as a solo artist for the British music competition The X Fact-19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?- movie gay 20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)- 🎶Troy and Abed Are Gay Married🎶 21. favourite gay youtuber- idk man there’s too many 22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?- nope lmao 23. have you ever been in love?- hmmm yea 24. have you ever been heartbroken?- HMMMM YEA25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone- are they a girl? yes 26. favourite lgb musician/band- Muna (stylized as MUNA) is an American electronic pop band consisting of Katie Gavin, Josette Maskin, and Naomi McPherson.27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays- WAIT TILL YOURE SAFE TO COME OUT PLEASE 28. are you out? if so how did you come out- ion wanna talk bout dat29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have - all of them lmao30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality- JUST WAIT TILL ITS SAFE PLS, I KNOW IT SUCKS NOW BUT ITS WORTH THE WAIT