#im so fucking glad i trust him so dearly

[eileensdress]

IN JOEY BATEY WE FUCKING TRUST

[stargirlie25]

Me having a conversation with an e/riel. Feel free to fact check by looking at the books.

Me: Why do you ship Elain and Azriel?

E/riel: Well for starters, he was the only one to go save Elain when she was in hybern.

Me: First of all, Cassian offered first. Second of all Feyre was also there and saved her (what Elain said)

E/riel: Ok but still it was romantic

Me: But it was not. Because her sister ALSO saved her :) Feyre went to UTM and got tortured,SAed,killed people and died all for Tamlin anyhow...

E/riel: Well Madja said a mate knows whats wrong with their own mate and Az figured out that Elain was a seer.

Me: Elain being a Seer was not what was wrong with her. Also Rhysand figured out Nestas power.

E/riel: Az gave Elain truthteller when he had given it to no one ever.

Me: Only because Mor begged him with tears in her eyes to stay back. Cassian offered her first (again) and then Az offered her TT bc he would not have to use it. Not to mention, Elain only took it when Feyre assured her she would not have to use it. She gave it back without a glance

E/riel: Well Feyre imagined Elain and Az as ´´Death and his lovely fawn´´

Me: Okay. Well did you also catch when she said TT is the only connection between them? Not to mention something admirable about Elain is that she is always full of light. What literally takes away Light? Darkness=Azriel. Not to mention, Azriel is death and his home sucks the life from Elain. Not that Feyres aesthetic painting mind matters anything to me :)

E/riel: What about the fact that Lucien thought Elain was crazy?

Me: What about the fact when he travelled all around to find somebody on a quest so dangerous and the only confirmation he got was from Elain?

E/riel: Elain was wearing Cobalt blue the first time she met Az.

Me: Considering Elains devotion to Graysen, there is a high chance of her wearing that color for Graysen because his crest is cobalt blue. Even if its not true, Lucien wears a coat that´s fawn brown (exact same shade of Elains eyes)

E/riel: A smile and blush bloomed on Azriel in regards to Elain.

Me: Dont care. Thats just an action. Although since you say that, did you know that a smile bloomed on Elains face after her father died (who she loved dearly) in regards to Lucien?

E/riel: What about when a charged glance went through Elain and Azriel.

Me: Sexual attraction. Lots of characters have it like Feyre and tamlin,Aelin and Chaol,Azriel to Mor....

E/riel: Well, Azriel jacks off to Elain every night while looking at the gift he got for her.

Me: Dont be shy you dont have to say a gift. You can say he jacks off to headache powder. No problem. Almost like when Nesta slept with multiple men. Trust me, that does not affect me!

E/riel: Elriel is true mates because Az was the only one to smell Eluciens bond.

Me: Bryce smelled Nessians bound, Ruhn and Lidia smelled bryce and hunts bond, Tamlin smelled feysands.

E/riel: Gwyn is a lightsinger because Az chest sparked because of her.

Me: Well than ig Lidia and Bryce are lightsingers too. Get those evil bitches away from Hunt and Ruhn right?

E/riel: There is nothing romantic for Gwynriel

Me: Thats literally just your penny for thought. Why would i care when SJM provided common banter, mate language and history for Gwynriel, and scenes where they challenge each other when she said history,sparks,conflict,and challenge all makes a good couple.

E/riel: Elain gave two gifts to Az. Not lucien

Me: Headphones for Az bc Nesta and Cass fuck so loud? So romantic i cant! Im so glad my girl SJM is saving the good,meaningful gifts for Elucien.

E/riel: Az waited for Elain to come to the table and told everybody to not eat until Elain came back.

Me: he was thinking of his mother being a slave. Thats what the situation of eating when Elain was tending to everyone reminded him of. How his mother was treated. Its not romantic but it is a very sad thing to think about.

E/riel: Azriel loves Elain. He only has not thought about a future with her because he does not allow himself to!

Me: Honestly i don´t mind that you think that! Although that is not canon. Sleeping with Elain is the only thoughts he PLEASURED himself to. Not allowed himself as some say. Again, that´s just your penny for thought. He says ´´He hadn't gone that far with his planning´´ Meaning sexual thoughts is fine but anything further is like nope, nope,nope,nope,nope too far.

E/riel: Elain literally loses her newfound boldness around Lucien.

Me: There is so many more reasons that we could come up with than what meets the eye. Have you considered it was because she didnt know what to do. Or she saw the look on Lucien ´ s face and shrank because she did not intentionally cause it and felt bad? Or maybe she FELT Luciens pain and shared it because of the bond? So much possibilities to think of especially considering we have limited text and not the actual characters POV. Also i wonder how far she will shrink when she finds out about Az and Rhysands conversation in the bonus chapter. Or maybe she heard it already?

E/riel: Azriel actually gets Elain.

Me: The way he literally does not though! When Elain begs the IC not to kill graysen Az says its best for him to be killed in acosf. When Elain says nesta cant make choices for her and then Az says she should not be exposed to the innate darkness even though later we figure out Elain is willing? When Elain says she is not a child to be fought over and than Az says he will defeat Lucien in a blood duel with her?

E/riel: Scrying is dangerous! Of course Azriel did not want her too.

Me: Yet, he said ´´Nesta really should do scrying´´ but not Elain because he underestimates her. Which is the ONLY thing SJM provides to what Az could have been doing.

E/riel: Azriel listened to Elains laugh probably because he loves the sound!

Me: Maybe its because Elain never ever laughs like that around him or the ic He was literally monitoring them which means to keep tabs on someone which directly relates to his fricking job 😂. So many words to choose from and SJM chose monitoring.

E/riel: Az gave Elain a rose necklace.

Me: Ok and? Elain gave it back. She does not want that shit. He gave it to another person. It felt wrong to clasp it around Elains neck but it sparked something in his chest and made him smile for Gwyn.

E/riel: Lucien only sees Elain for his mate but Azriel sees her for her.

Me: Nope. His reason for wanting to kiss Elain was simply ´´What fi the cauldron was wrong´´ and refers to Elain as the 3rd. She is literally a theory or more so a possibility to him. One he has not thought through in the slightest. Also, Lucien was going crazy in hybern in regards to Elain before he knew of their bond AND Elain has not accepted the bond yet he still cares for her.

E/riel: Elain called Azriels scars beautiful.

Me: first of all, its a 50% chance she called his scars beautiful. Feyre said she was not sure which one she was complimenting, the scars, or the big glowing cobalt siphon atop his hand. Second of all, even if it was 100% fact that she said his scars specifically was beautiful, it seems he does not believe it at all. He tries to not to look at his hands. He does not want to taint her with his presence or touch her beautiful skin with his scars.

E/riel: His shadows vanish around Elain and lightens. They also do that around mor who he was in love with for 500 years. Also his shadows are like snakes ready to strike in regards to Elain.

Me: Shadows lighting and vanishing are the same thing. Light takes away darkness as darkness takes away light (another reason why they are horrible together) His shadows are losing its darkness around Elain and Mor. Mor was wrong for him. The amount of pain it caused him to be in Love with her? Want that to continue with Elain and Az? Azriel does not need his darkness to be hidden. He needs it to be embraced *insert Gwyn*

E/riel: SJM would never pass on a good angsty trope like forbidden love!

Me: firstly, the only thing forbidding e/riel is Elain herself. If she rejects the bond, she can be with Az all she wants and NO ONE has a say on that. Not Rhysand. Not feyre. Not cassian. Not Lucien himself. Although she hasnt after 2 years. There is an answer to why. Its not like Elain knows she has to wait until her own book to reject it. Second of all, Forbidden love is the absolute WORST trope to give BOTH of them. For Elain, she has always hid in the shadows of her sisters in the series and the fandom. You really think Elain Archeron always full of light wants to hide in the darkness and play out Azriel´s fantasies? As for Azriel, he has been secretly silently in PAIN loving Mor for 500 years. So you want him to go through it again with Elain? No. He wants the bond nessian and feysand have. The love they share. The joy of being with your equal. The connection of a mating bond. Being proud to showcase it to the world. Forbidden love would just tear them apart.

E/riel: SJM does not write about virgin romances! Plus Gwyn is a virgin!

Me: Yes she can. Gwyn already lost her virginity against her will so biologically she is not going through the bleeding and the actual losing her physical virginity. Although it is a fact she has never slept with someone. The scene where Cassian *ahem* first enters nesta is very descriptive and SJM describes the pain of Cassian entering her......So yes she can for sure write about Gwyn having sex. This is also goes against the statement that Gwyn cant have sex because of her trauma. False. She is interested in romance books and asks Nesta if the sex was good. I think Gwyn would enjoy sex with someone she trusts in and out.

[hazbinswappedau]

Chapter One

✩░▒▓▆▅▃▂▁𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ▁▂▃▅▆▓▒░✩

*+:｡.｡Hazbin Hotel Swap Au｡.｡:+*

˚*•̩̩��✩•̩̩͙*˚��·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

"Charlie! I know.. I havent spent time with you- but please.. Y-your all I have left!" Lucifer stammered, reaching for Charlie as she stepped through the portal. Before it closed up, Charlie looked over her shoulder to laugh at her father- no. Lucifer. "Your pathetic, honestly. I should be ashamed to call you my father. Sinners cant be redeemed, Lucifer."

╭─〔❨✧✧❩〕─╮

Would you like to continue?

"Charlie! I know.. I havent spent time with you- but please.. Y-your all I have left!" Lucifer stammered, reaching for Charlie as she stepped through the portal. Before it closed up, Charlie looked over her shoulder to laugh at her father- no. Lucifer. "Your pathetic, honestly. I should be ashamed to call you my father. Sinners cant be redeemed, Lucifer." It pierced his heart like a knife. She spat out the words condescendingly, before continuing with, "Mom was right about you." Walking away, Lucifer watched as his own daughter left him like he was nothing. His own that he raised, the one he loved so dearly, the one he spent, and gave his life for.. Just to leave him. Lucifer felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, as his hands grabbed at the floor, the one where Charlie once stood. How he wished he never gave her that opportunity to meet with heaven, how he wished they never gave her the offer to stay in heaven. Lucifer broke out in sobs, clutching his heart as he fell to the ground. It hurt. He had nothing left. Noth-

"Luci? Where the fuck- what the hell are you doing now?" A cracked voice interrupt Lucifers trip down memory lane. Adam, former angel, now fallen angel muttered as he walked into Lucifers room. Yesterday was the extermination, and Lucifer gets reminded of Charlie everytime, the nightmare never ending and repeating like a mantra.. "Uhm, nothing. Im fine. Hows the hotel going?" Lucifer asked, remembering how he found Adam all bloody and scarred after an extermination. Lucifer had no clue what led Adam to fall.. And Adam would never say, but he's glad at least one person approves of his dreams that were crushed one too many times.

Lucifer never knew why Adam chose to support his dreams, but ever since Adam fell from heaven he was acting... Strange? Adam was still injured with his wings cut off and a broken arm. He wore a red suit which was all he could find at the moment to wear, in contrast to Charlie who mostly wore the color blue most of the time despite being in hell, she made it work.

"Oh. The hotel. Well... I guess they still need a little getting used to seeing more of me." Adam answered Lucifer while glancing around his room. The very room Charlie had spoke her final and harsh good-bye to Lucifer.

"It could be worse." Lucifer chuckled.

"You know Vox? Yeah the tall creepy radio demon guy?"

"What of him?"

"He visited the hotel a few hours ago."

"WHAT." Lucifer said in surprise, his voice raising.

"Yeah...." Adam nervously chuckled.

Adam fidgeted around a little before speaking once again.

"He... He... Asked to help me manage the hotel... And I y'know accepted his offer."

Lucifer was speechless. THE Radio demon was interested in the hotel? It seemed so unbelievable that he almost didn't believe Adam.

Lucifer took in a deep breath, his eyes clenched shut before he suddenly yelled out, "Why would you trust the radio demon?! Let alone a random sinner known for causing havoc!" Pacing around the room, his hands in his hair as he tugged on it in frustration. Adam scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, and gulped. "I mean, I never knew. Sorry dickbuddy."

Lucifer suddenly paused in his frantic panicking and stared at him with wide eyes. "Did you just call me- Nevermind.." He sighed, flopping down onto his bed face first and let out an exasperated groan. How could Adam be so naive to accept the RADIO DEMONS OFFER? When Adam least expects it, the sinner would probably turn against him! Lucifer starts breathing in a pattern, trying to calm himself as he straightens his clothes. Adam walked over to Lucifer, patting his back with a smile. "Cheer up dickbuddy! Come on, isnt this shit all about redemption? Give that fucker a chance!" Adam exclaimed, before taking an infuriatingly long sip of his drink that he was holding. Sighing, Lucifer sat up and rubbed his eyes as he gently shoved Adam aside. "Lets just get to business. This place looks shitty enough.."

As Lucifer walked into the Lobby, he was surprised to see Vox, the radio demon pop up right infront of him.

"Oh golly, is that the king of hell I see?" Vox tapped Lucifers head with his microphone, cackling very loudly. "And if it isnt it his majesty himself! Trying to fix his own mistakes, what a hilarious sight to see!"

Lucifer only rolled his eyes, glaring at the freakishly tall demon in front of him. "Your criticism isn't needed right now, demon. What do you want?"

"And your suspecting I want something? What do you take me for? Oh no dear, I'm just a business man helping out a poor angel in need.. Or should I say, fallens?" Vox started walking around the hotel, observing its fine details before suddenly fixing some small trinkets here and there, putting them to his taste. Lucifer, watching Vox do this, was obviously not pleased.

He stormed over to vox and pushed him. "Dont touch my rubber ducks, asshole." Lucifer hissed, putting the trinkets back to their original spot. Adam was watching the whole ordeal, feeling uncomfortable in this situation. After a bit of contemplating, Adam decided to step in and break them apart. "Anyway, sooo Vox.. Robo dick, yeah? Your tryna help me and Dickbuddy or somethin' right? So, whats your plan?" Adam said, laughing and elbowing Vox as he said 'Robo dick'. Vox narrowed his eyes at Adam and moved away, but still kept his professional composure.

"...Please do refrain from talking about my genitals when we are discussing business. Nonetheless, yes! I do have a plan!" As Vox said this, he snapped his fingers and the tension in the air seems to grow more mysterious.. Suddenly, an extremely tall moth appeared, holding a sex toy. Vox rolled his eyes, smacking the object out of the moths hand as he spoke. "Meet Valentino! He'll be taking over the convenience store!"

"Convenience store? We dont even ha-" Vox shushed Lucifer by putting a finger to his lips, and with a flick of his wrist, a tiny shop appeared inside of the hotel. It wasnt anything big, just sold some candy.. Snacks.. Drinks.. Condoms- Which is completely irrelevant. Lucifer was surely a wee bit amazed but didnt admit it, as he didnt want to feed Vox's already big enough ego. Of course Lucifer knew about demons like him! Greedy and selfish, only caring about themselves and their rise to fame.. He just wondered how Adam thinks this piece of trash is able to be redeemed. Sure, he loves the idea of redeeming sinners but him?! The radio demon?!

"Holy shit, robo dic- I mean Vox! That was fucking sick!" Adam praised, clapping his hands. Adam had a gleam of excitement, and he thought maybe, just maybe after accepting Vox's offer.. Everything will be working out! Which.. may be the case, or the exact opposite, and everything may start going down hill from here. But things couldn't get possibly worse... Right?

"I know, I am quite impressive.. Dare I say, even more impressive than his majesty?"

"Quit taunting me." Lucifer sighed and sat down on a nearby chair, crossing his legs. Hes already sick of the robotic demon.

Vox chuckled at the irritated Lucifer. To Vox, everything was all fun and games and he rarely took anything seriously. After scanning and examining the room once again, he noticed the dusty books that were sitting on the shelf. he swiped his finger on the dust of the shelf and with a disgusted face and wiped it on his shirt. "Ew, well looks like this hotel is in need of... A little cleaning session." He sighed.

With another snap of his fingers a girl with pigtails that almost reached the floor appeared. "Vox? What is it now?" The lady asked in an annoyed tone of voice, obviously and very clearly not wanting to be here. "Now now, don't speak to me like that." Vox replied giving the girl a warning glare. The girl groaned, looking around the room with distaste. Eyeing the entire place up and down, the girl walked around the lobby, beginning to judge every detail she doesnt approve of. "What is this? The 1900's? This hotel needs an honest big glow up." The lady trotted forward with strides and confidence as she started with her work, she went from rearranging things to ripping down the wallpaper, which left Adam and Lucifer absolutely flabbergasted.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING???" Adam yelled, leaning down to be face to face with Vox. Vox may be tall, but Adams taller. "Meet Velvette! She can be the hotel cleaner and renovator!" Vox said, almost ignoring the protests that Adam was yelling out to him. Before any further arguements could be made, the door slammed open to reveal the hotels very first guest, Molly.

You've reached the end of this chapter. Thanks for reading

*+:｡.｡★ written by mods Xyra and Shello

[idyllic-affections]

The platonic kaeya hcs were amazing !! If you’re still taking requests, how abt expanding on kaeya and his sibling and maybe the ragnvindr family drama :oo

how does the presence of kaeya's sibling change the fallout?

summary. how, if at all, does the presence of kaeya's sibling change his falling out with diluc?

trigger & content warnings. blood, depictions of a broken nose, canon-typical ragnvindr family drama, crying, etc.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. angst, hurt/comfort. kaeya & younger sibling!reader, diluc & reader. 0.5k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of these headcanons, but it can be read as a standalone.

author's thoughts. hello lovely!! thank you hehe... my kaeya content always seems to get less traction than my other genshin content so im very glad you like those hcs!! my requests are always open unless i explicitly state otherwise, so feel free to send anything in whenever. i dont work on requests in the order which they come in; i work on them based on what i find inspiring, so i dont feel the same pressure other writers might to fulfill their requests, you know? im not as worried about being overwhelmed or burnt out bc of that, so requests are always open <3

how does the presence of kaeya's younger sibling change his fallout with diluc? that is indeed a complex question.

the short answer is that it doesn't.

the long answer is a bit more complicated than that.

kaeya is very protective of his baby sibling. he does all that he can to ensure that they're safe and smart and capable, because if he happens to not be around and trouble comes their way...

well, he wants to be absolutely confident that they can handle it, whether that be by smooth-talking their way out of it (kaeya has admitted to certain people that he is very amused by the way they seem to have inherited his so-called "linguistic powers") or by fighting their way out of it.

moreover, he loves them so, so much. they most definitely have a target on their back because of that. kaeya knows he has a tendency to sometimes associate with people that... aren't exactly righteous when he needs information. he also knows that his sheer adoration for the sweetheart he somehow gets to call his sibling isn't a secret to anyone who's been in mondstadt for more than a day. he can't restrict their freedom (especially not in mondstadt of all nations), so to combat his fear, he teaches them how to handle themselves in all kinds of situations.

he always knew better than to lie to them about their heritage, for a lie that severe would only cause harm. kaeya treasured their trust far too dearly to so much as even scratch it slightly.

...

perhaps it would have been best to be honest and transparent with diluc, too?

diluc discriminates not between the alberich siblings, but he doesn't go out of his way to harm the youngest, either. they're only a child. surely they didn't know? though, by the end of everything...

diluc has landed a deep scratch on their cheek and possibly broken their nose, all because they did know the truth.

kaeya does not take that well.

if anything, the presence of kaeya's sibling worsens the fallout, for if kaeya were to ever blame himself for what happened, all of those thoughts disappear the moment diluc lays hands on what is most dear to him.

and as for kaeya's sibling?

"fuck you, ragnvindr. i hate you more than you'll ever know. have fun being alone. it's what you deserve."

they feel a rage that they've never felt before despite the blood dripping from their broken nose and split lip, despite the overall numbness of their face from their wounds.

protectiveness does go both ways with the alberichs, it seems.

even long after the fallout, when the raging fires are reduced to spiteful words and brief exchanges full of bitterness, kaeya's sibling still holds the deepest resentment towards diluc.

(diluc doesn't need to know that there are nights where all kaeya can do is helplessly hold them as they cry about wanting their other brother back.

all diluc knows is that they hate him.

knowing that, he can't bring himself to approach them.)

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[marksbear]

Hiii, I've read some of your stuff and I absolutely love your writing!!!!

If you're up for it, could you do headcannons for Namor with a boyfriend/husband that has PTSD and is covered in facial scars? (Only if you're comfortable) I don't mind if it's SFW or NSFW or both.

Take care of yourself!

Heyy, thank you! Like really thank you i'm glad that you like it. Hope you're doing good my friend and I hope you enjoy it!

P.S IM SORRY FOR THIS TAKING SO LONG! @errorfound101-allideasburnedout

NAMOR X HUSBAND READER WITH FACIAL SCARS.

Warnings, PTSD, both nsfw and sfw,

🌊 = NSFW

🦈 = SFW

🦈 Way before yall was dating just friends he'll say to your face "You are the most handsome man I ever met."

🦈 When you were both kids and if you had scars he used kiss them softly and whisper praises. The both of you just thought that's what best friends do.

🦈 Everytime you begin to feel insecure about your face he'll show you his own scars when he got from different battles or just himself telling you how he got them.

🦈 "Amor you are still beautiful. Such a handsome king you are. Don't listen to yourself. "

🦈 You both made a unspoken rule. Every time one of you has a nightmare or a problem you tell the other.

🦈 He doesn't force you to tell him how or when did you get the scars. He wants you to tell him when you think it's time. He never rushes you for anything he will even wait until death for something like that since you need his trust and honesty.

🦈 He is a jealous man but sometimes he doesn't mind when someone calls you pretty or handsome.

🦈 Always trances your scars with his hands or lips.

🦈 Will punish anyone from his kingdom if they disrespect you. The punishment will be 10x worse if it was a comment about your face.

🦈 If you ever cover your scars or hide them he'll be kinda sad. He wants you to be confident about your looks so he'll try the best he can to make you love yourself.

🦈 He would probably let you or himself slice him on the face for your honor if not your honor just because he loves you dearly and wants you to feel normal and loved.

🦈 If he ever does slice himself it would similar to one of your scars from your face. And if you ever ask him why he will answer "Because you are my king." every single time.

🦈 Anytime he sees you crying about your face he'll quickly pamper you with kisses wiping your face. "Shhh...It's okay amor~" He will even cradle you in his lap. It doesn't matter where you are he'll just pick you up and hug you tight.

🦈 He will show off your scars to the kingdom. And everyone loves you and makes stories about you and Namor.

🦈 Sometimes when you feel insecure he will sit you down in his throne and let his people shout praises at you or give you gifts.

NSFW HEADCANONS!

🌊 Like I said he'll kiss your scars and just your neck and face. Then he'll slowly go down on you kissing trails along your abdomen and thighs until he reaches your cock.

🌊 Everytime you will wake up from a nightmare he'll jerk you off slowly until you fall back asleep.

🌊 Anytime you give him a blowjob he will always pull out of your mouth and jerk himself off until he cums on your face. Then he will lick the cum off making sure he licks and kisses the scars while cleaning the cum off.

🌊 He always melts when you suck him off. It's just one of his biggest kinks. He loves seeing your handsome face suck him dry.

🌊(This one for the ftm readers here!) He would spend hours just eating you out. Using his fingers to finger you while he licks and sucks on your clit. And once you finally cum on his tongue and face he'll start all over again licking you around.

🌊 Anytime you wake up from a nightmare he will cockwarm you for a while then begins to ride you like his life depended on it.

🌊 If hes the top he will fuck you lazily and tiredly until he gets into it and begins to thrust in and out of your hole curses, praises, moans and groans can probably be heard through the kingdom. And everyone knows that it's their kings going at it.

🌊 Gentle and slow sex always happen. Like after a battle or just a rough day the two of you will just have sex like its yalls first time doing it. Checking if the others are okay, not fast, no roughness.

🌊 Even though he loves you getting praised about your beauty he hates it with people are touchy with you leading it into jealous sex. Like being rough and manhandling with some humiliation.

"Amor you are just the prettiest man in the ocean.~ The scars add to your beauty and you should be proud."- Namor

[sloshys]

HI I WAS THE FIRST ANON AND YOURE SO FUCKING RIGHT. GOD.

I just think that Daan has this kinda like. Need to be towered over? I think thats why he interacts with the people who are kinda cold/uncaring/powerful most. I mean. He's found himself almost in every aspect of his life in a position where someone was constantly telling him what to do, and I feel like strong characters (like O'saa or karin) kinda fill that niche of "I need someone to boss me around and tell me what to do because I've lived my life at others whims and while I can hold my own for a good bit after a while I'm not sure what to do but asking for help would be too vulnerable so having someone be a higher up towards me gives me a sense of security but i will also kinda be a little shit about it so it doesnt seem so vulnerable" and with O'saa he's super blunt. Very much "I will do things my way wether you like it or not and you will follow my lead or get out my way." and I mean, hell he was a leader! He very much outwardly has control and leadership tendencies, even if inside he doesn't feel like he can ever truly fit the bill. Which is what Daan is looking for yknow? And O'saa, i just kinda think for O'saa its one of those things of he cant for the life of him figure out why he likes him so much, but then Daan starts talking to him about scholarly topics and they have discussions of religion, medicine, science, war, and other things and theres this draw of Daan's Intellegence paired with this strange need of "i want to see him happy, because his whole life hes been miserable and part of it reminds me of me and if i cant be happy then perhaps i can make someone else happy to fill the void" (touching on the whole joking between the two) but being as O'saa has an enlightened soul, i feel like he would be incredibly interested in what Daan has to say. If the two ever got the chance i feel theyd definitely debate between eachother. Imagine that one reaction meme image of the two scholars talking to eachother. Thats them i think. I feel like the two compliment eachother but in a way of like. They fill a niche the other is searching for. Neither are good with words, much less pda, but alone? I feel like if there ever was time alone in a different time in a different place their intimacy would be intense, passionate, and wordless. Nothing would really need to be said, just intimacy, a smoke on the balcony, and dinner in a perfect world. Other people may find their relationship seemingly loveless, but they just couldn't understand the wordless display of trust, of closeness, and of tenderness. How could they? The two have only ever really been truly vulnerable with the other, and I feel if conflict was to arise, they may argue, take a heated break, and then come back with a wordless apology and cook for eachother. Acts of service, cooking, and gift giving i feel would be something that again, if given the chance, the two would indulge in regularly. I feel if O'saa was being particularly sappy he'd maybe get Daan some expensive alcohol he'd been eyeing. As for Daan, I feel he'd get O'saa a nice clothing piece the other had been admiring. But that's in a life they'd never get, I suppose... sorry for rambling in your inbox, I care for them dearly PFT

Anon rn:

BUT FR LIKE IM SOSO GLAD TO RECIEVE THIS RESPONSE BC YOU EXPLAINED SO WELL WHAT I WAS THINKING

I put my thoughts down there i hope i was able to cover everything

Im going to start off in a daan analysis tangent real quick

Daan has been neglected by his cultist parents ever since he was a baby. He probably never got the proper feeling of security or personal growth as a child because he was always living to survive. Which worsened even more after the death of his parents, and was doomed to child labour very young. Im sure he never got to properly play or express himself as a kid until he got closer to Elise. But The only thing about himself he found worth talking about were his insane cultist parents. His life at the Baron’s mansion was everything he had, as were his studies of modern medicine. That's why he feels attracted to powerful and determined people like O'saa and Karin (and Marcoh too, I believe), who seem to know exactly what their own goals are and think they still have control over what is happening. Despite trying to do things on his own, he still craves company. He also wants to protect the younger ones, like Levi and Marina, because his ass is projecting! But the sad thing is that Daan can't be too dependent on these people and doesn't want to share too much of his past with them because it's very traumatic for him.

If the discussion had taken place, I think O’saa would have been very interested in Daan and his upbringing. Daan never followed the religions and cults of Europa and is aware of their danger. He prays to Sylvian not as an act of worship but to help those who are sick. He also ran away from Pocketcat his whole life and never wanted to give himself to him until depression hit him harder than before. This makes Daan rational, smart, and inquisitive. Which seem to be attractive traits for someone who possesses an enlightened soul.

TOTALLY AGREE ALSO ABOUT THESE TWO HAVING BIG BRAINED DISCUSSIONS O'saa proves himself to be a good listener to others feelings in the booth; Daan can be a very open-minded person; and they both have similar views about the use of magic. I agree that the way they show affection is when they’re both very intimate with each other. O’saa does not trust people lightly because, in his case, his greatest fear is manipulation due to the fact that his country is being invaded and controlled by Europa's religions, wars, and cults. So he only ever relied on himself, which is why he chose to be a yellow mage. I imagine it might take a great deal of time and trust for him to share his vulnerability and feelings with Daan. But they seem to both crave social interaction since they're both lonely at heart, so there might be a chance (we’re winning, girlies!). Either way, I agree with sappy O'saa, that's such an adorable concept and somehow fitting since he finds his own jokes funny. I hc that he’s very genuine when he talks about his emotions, and no matter how embarrassing they are, he always says them with a straight face. But Daan is so sappy too. They would write each other love letters; you cannot tell me otherwise.

Also, I thought of an ending for these two surviving the festival: Daan confessing to O’saa that he doesn’t have anything that waits for him and O’saa noticing the true meaning of those words. He feels a tinge of sympathy because Daan has lost everything to war and religion, and he can't bear to see him give up after surviving the gruesome festival. So O’saa proposes to make a deal to be his personal doctor because he plans to travel dangerously, defy the authority in his country to establish his own teachings, and rise to the top. Since Daan doesn’t have anything to lose, he agrees to it. I think that it is during those travels that they will slowly fall for each other. They might also find some closure on their pasts during those trips.

[awlumii]

zuzu. i'm sobbing.

okay so there's this one game i've been waiting to be released for a little while (ehhhhh six-ish months same difference) BUT it was released on the 17th and ive gotten all of the endings and possible dialogues already and. i'm. &(&?&:&!;&; IVE NEVER FELT THIS STRONGLY ABOUT A CHARAVTER BEFORE. THIS IS LIKE HOW I FEEL ABOUT DILUC AND KAZUHA BUT COMBINED AND THEN MULTIPLIED BY 14. IM IN LOVE WITH HIM HE SCRATCHES MY BRAIIN BUT HES SO ABD AND DANEGROUS HE MAKES ME SICK 2 MY STOMACH (LOVINGLY) <////3 he will not leave my brain!!!!!! THIS FUCKING PARASITE!!!!!!!!

on one hand i'm so glad i've found something that makes me this passionate again because as those six months passed i've been finding myself more and more engrossed into the lore and the coding and the characteristics/easter eggs in the game, and while i absolutely love love LOVE that feeling so much and just absorbing myself with information about it to love it even more, i kinda feel like. i'm cheating? on genshin?? IDK i feel like i've been so wrapped up in genshin for so long that for me to get a new interest it's like i'm cheating on the game itself??? (HELP TYPING THAT OUT MADE ME FEEL CRINGE)

BUT!!!!!!!! how are you? i haven't been popping in as recently and i'm SO SORRY i'll make sure to interact with you more often i feel like im abandoning u:((((( i hope you drank a bunch of water today and took care of yourself! you deserve it bubs <3

y'know, i totally understand feeling like you're cheating on another interest because you feel strongly about something else (me with splatoon and acnh over genshin) but it's always nice to dive deep into something you really and truly love — speaking from an autistic person's perspective, trust me: it's heaven.

but don't apologize for not interacting! i say this all the time — there's nothing wrong with taking time for yourself and not being able to stop by! you're not abandoning me at all! i love love love hearing from you though — moving forward, i'll do my best to drop by in your asks instead! you be sure to take care of yourself this holiday season and drink lots of water! mwah mwah, ily dearly 💜💜

[vigilvntes]

Bruises - Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader (Star Wars)

A/N: the way i had the opening of this in my drafts for ages and then at the big time of 2am i decided i wanted to rewrite the whole thing and get it published ;) i’m so much more motivated to write than usual when i should be doing uni work but oh well more kylo content for you guys <33 inbox is always open for requests while im actually writing so feel free to send and i hope you enjoy <33

Word count: 1900+

Warnings: mentions of minor injuries. 

You walked out of the casino, wincing as the harsh evening winds hit your bare arms. The dress you wore did little to nothing to protect you from the weather, but the last thing you expected to be doing was leaving the venue in search of your date.

Canto Bight was never your favourite place. In your opinion, it was filled with sleazes, who only came to the city for three things: money, booze and sex. However, you were the daughter of a noble family and despite your wishes, your family often sent you along to the gatherings they were expected to attend, assuming that you would fit in with the crowd more than they would. They thought you’d enjoy the party, enjoy the alcohol, even the attention you often seemed to draw to yourself. How wrong they were.

However, there was always one saving grace to evenings like these: Commander Kylo Ren, of the First Order.

The two of you weren’t official, as much as you would like to be. You understood that he had work to do, with his grandfather leaving big boots to fill, he barely had time to sleep, let alone date. But for some strange reason, you were different. You caught his attention, and he made sure to make time for you, whether that meant attending parties and events with you, or simply going out of his way to visit you, if only for an hour. 

Truthfully, you had spent many nights lying awake, tears in your eyes as you thought about your future, which you hoped would be with Kylo. Would he eventually ask you to be his girlfriend? Would he want to marry? To him, those questions would seem trivial, of no importance. He loved you, and would find ways to show you. But to you they meant a lot, and you were hoping for some kind of answers sometime soon. 

You shook your head as you made your way over to the short wall which surrounded the casino, leaning on it, using your elbows to keep yourself propped up as your head rested in your hand. Your gaze flitted between the city and the body of water beyond, which seemed strangely calm despite the mean winds. For a moment, you forgot about the cold, forgot about why you had even come outside in the first place as you watched the waves slowly made their way towards the shore. 

Your peace was soon interrupted.

A pair of hands snaked around your waist from behind and you let out a yelp, turning around quickly to face whoever had touched you, ready to defend yourself as much as you possibly could. Until you heard that familiar, smug chuckle come from behind a mask. You knew exactly who it was before you.

You rolled your eyes, “Way to make an entrance, Commander.” Despite your annoyance, you truly were happy to see him. Immediately you pulled him towards you and wrapped your arms around him, smiling into his chest as you felt him return the gesture. 

Eventually, you pulled away and narrowed your eyes at the man. “Don’t think you’ve gotten away with it. I still have a bone to pick with you.”

Despite how hard he tried to hide it, you heard him sigh lightly underneath the mask and mumble a disgruntled, “Go on.”

“First of all you’re late.”

“(Y/N), I had bus-”

“I’m not finished.” If anyone else spoke to him that way, they would surely be punished. But not you. He allowed you to put him in his place, mainly because he couldn’t ever bring himself to snap at you, but also because he found you too cute when you were pissed off with him.

You took his silence as a go ahead to continue with your rant. “You’re late. Your clothes are ruined. Your helmet still has smoke coming from it. Do I need to continue? How did you even get here? Where have you been?”

“Like I said-”

“Take it off.” You demanded. You were sick of hearing the robotic voice coming from the mask already. You wanted to speak with Kylo, not Commander Ren. 

An almost stunned silence washed over him and he replied to your demand with a quiet, “T-take it off?”

“The helmet, genius. Take it off.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, but eventually he reached his hands up and pulled the helmet from his head, revealing a mop of dark, curly hair, which had grown longer since the last time you saw one another, and just as you had expected, new cuts adorned his face, almost nicking the gauze of the scar he had attained during the destruction of Starkiller. But what really caught your attention was the black eye. 

He simply stared at you, waiting patiently for you to react, prepared to accept anything you threw his way. But for a moment you said nothing, all you could do was sigh.

After a minute, you moved closer to him and reached up, your fingers tracing the scar on his cheek, offering him a small, sympathetic smile, “If I remember correctly, the invitation said black tie, not black eye, Ren.”

Kylo couldn’t help but smile at your comment, and you were glad to hear his deep voice, which you had missed so dearly, reply with, “I must have read it wrong.”

“You wanna tell me how Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, has ended up with a black eye?”

His smile dropped at your inquiry to know more about his injuries, and your smile followed suit as you realised exactly what had happened. “It was them, wasn’t it?” You asked.

“Who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Kylo. It was the Scavenger and her Resistance friends, wasn’t it?”

His silence said everything. He pushed his tongue into his cheek and looked away from you, almost embarrassed. And truthfully, it was quite embarrassing. He was Commander Ren. He was feared. Respected. Yet he couldn’t even manage to capture and kill a scavenger girl. 

You turned away from him, moving your attention back to the sea, crossing your arms. He knew you were pissed and he’d have to talk his way out of this one somehow. His silence simply wasn’t enough.

“(Y/N). I’m sorry that I turned up so late.” You didn’t even move, let alone reply, so he continued. “And I’m sorry about the state of my attire.” No reply. “And.... I would also like to apologise for the state of my face.” He wasn’t usually one to apologise to anyone, but a genuine apology from him was the only way for him to bounce back from his fuck up’s.

You tried your hardest to keep your composure, but one of the most powerful men in the galaxy apologising for his face was enough to bring a smile to anyone’s lips. “I guess she got you good, huh?”

He came to your side after hearing your joking retort, “You could say that.” He found himself thinking this too often, but if anyone else had mocked him this way he most likely would have destroyed a wall or two. He knew you would never think of him as a failure, or an embarrassment, as many probably did. Your light-hearted jabs at him were mainly for your own comfort. To make light of any bad situation he often found himself in.

You sighed, leaning your head onto his shoulder. You hated how quickly you could melt back into him again, but you couldn’t waste any more precious time you had together being angry or upset, “I just worry about you,”

“I know. But you shouldn’t,” He mumbled. “I can be reckless. I throw myself into danger. But I also come back fine.” He knew to you those words would probably mean nothing, but he was trying his best to comfort you. 

“You make it so hard not to worry. I mean, this war you’ve got going on... It’s so much bigger than you, or me, or the Scavenger girl. And truthfully, I’m scared. Terrified, actually. For you, for me. For my family. For everyone, really.” That was the first time you had ever admitted your fears to him. There was no way he’d give up his title, give up the First Order, but you hoped he’d provide you with a little reassurance that things would be okay. 

His grip on you tightened, not so much that it would hurt you, but enough to know that he felt every word you spoke. “You know I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to you, or anyone you care about. I care about you too much to hurt you like that.” He stepped in front of you and knelt down, taking both of your hands. “As for everything else, I can’t make any promises. No one, not even the Supreme Leader knows what’s coming next. All I can ask is that you trust me enough to make the right choices.”

His words, for some reason you couldn’t quite decipher, felt like they held some hidden meaning. Like he was planning something drastic, or he knew something drastic would happen in the future. But you took these thoughts with a grain of salt, choosing not to press him any further, and instead choosing to trust him, as he asked of you. Squeezing his hand lightly, you offered him a small smile, “Of course I trust you. I’d trust you with my life. Just... Do what’s right. And if it doesn’t feel or seem right then... Don’t.”

He nodded and stood up slowly, “Of course.” After a few moments of peaceful silence shared between the two of you, as you processed each other’s words, he broke it. “You’re going to have my head the next time I see you, I know, but I have to go.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “You have to go? As in you’re not staying?”

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am, and I know I said I’d join you for the night but given how today went, I’m not even supposed to be here.”

“Oh, and where exactly are you supposed to be?” You knew the answer already, and you knew he’d probably be in some deep trouble, you just wanted him to say it himself.

Once again, he pushed his tongue into his cheek before replying with, “The Supremacy.”

Bingo, you thought to yourself. The Supremacy. The Supreme Leader’s ship. And Kylo chose to go out of his way to see you first, prioritising you over his master. You couldn’t help but feel flattered, even though your plans for the night had been ruined. You gave him a small smile, “I suppose because you came to me first, and because I’m almost certain the Supreme Leader is gonna give you a harder time than I ever could, I’ll let this one go,”

“I appreciate that.” He leant down and pressed his lips to yours gently, and when he pulled away, he left another on your forehead. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

As you watched him walk away, towards the steps, you wished you could go with him. Be by his side, be able to see him everyday. Even though you knew that wasn’t exactly possible at the moment, you couldn’t help but ask. Before you could stop yourself, you had called his name, and he, already a few metres away, had turned to look back at you. 

He knew what you were going to ask, and this time his answer was more hopeful than it had been before. He couldn’t tell you what was to come, but he hoped it would work for the both of you.

“Kylo I-.... One day, will you take me with you?”

He nodded his head slowly, and spoke only one word, “Soon.”

[risottoneroo]

self indulgence, pt 20

a/n: heres my first ever finished series!! fuck this has been a ride, but im glad to have done it with all of you.

warnings: weddings, crying, pregnancy mentions

The planning for your wedding passed in a blur. It would be in Sicily, in Risotto’s hometown, and in the church he had gone to growing up. His family thought he was dead, and he knew it was best to keep it that way.

Your honeymoon would be in Malta, and it would be only a week. Risotto didn’t trust his subordinates to run the newly fledging organization for longer than that. 

An increasingly obvious problem was Secco. The man had grown more and more attached to you as the days went on, and he now had a hard time being separated from you. He did wear clothes now, usually shorts and a loose t shirt, but he still had the unfortunate habit of coming to you when he was horny. 

Secco was a unique issue, and one you needed to confront. He was a grown man who acted like a particularly obedient pet, who clearly had issues that couldn’t be resolved easily, and who was a very powerful and loyal Stand user. 

Risotto would rather Secco remained attached to you than have to kill him, but he’d made it clear in no uncertain terms that Secco was not to come on the honeymoon. You agreed. You’d have to find someone who liked him. 

Your solution came when you were trying to order the invitations. Your computer kicked the bucket just as you were finishing. Fortunately, Melone was in town, and he agreed to come over and help. The moment he stepped in the door, Secco was on him like an overeager dog. Melone frowned. “And who’s this?”

You sighed. “Secco, stop! He’s Cioccolata’s former human pet. I transferred his loyalties.”

Melone swallowed. “Your Stand is very…interesting.”

You laughed. “You can say scary.”

He shrugged and leaned down to pat Secco’s head. “He’s very cute.”

Secco purred and looked pleased. “Thank you!”

Melone jumped. “Oh, you talk!”

Secco’s voice was less garbled now, since you’d worked with him on speech. Melone knelt and looked at Secco. “Do you like it here?”

Secco grinned. “I love it here. Y/N and Risotto aren’t mean to me, and they aren’t weak like Cioccolata was. And Y/N is so pretty-”

He blushed and looked down. Melone chuckled softly and stood. “He’s an interesting project, to say the least.”

You sighed. “Yeah. My issue is that he can’t exactly come on the honeymoon with us.”

Melone shrugged. “I’ll keep him.”

You blinked. “Really?”

He raised an eyebrow. “A human pet? I’d love to talk more with him.”

You shrugged. “Secco, do you want to go with Melone for a week?”

Seccon grinned. “He seems nice! Yeah.”

You shrugged again. “Okay, well, he’ll take you to his apartment after he’s done here, so go and get your things.”

Secco bounded into your room. You sat next to Melone on the couch, and he pulled up a mockup of your wedding invitations. “I knew something like this would happen, so I saved duplicates of everything on Babyface.”

You hugged him. “Thank you so much.”

He shrugged and hit a few keys, sending them to the company you were getting them from. “It’s not a problem.”

He hugged you back and smiled. “I’m happy you and Risotto are finally tying the knot.”

You pulled away and smiled back. “I am too.”

He stood, and Secco came out of your room, holding his bag. It had his changes of clothes and his toiletries, both of which you had gotten for him. Getting him to take a bath at first had been hell, but he’d eventually grown to like it. 

Melone took his hand. “I’ll take good care of him, Y/N.”

You smiled and knelt to kiss Secco’s forehead. “Be good for Melone.”

He hugged you tight and nodded. “I will.”

You hugged him back, then let go and stood. Melone nodded to you and led Secco out the door. Secco was walking normally, although it was a little bowlegged. 

You sat back down at your desk, glad that at least one of the knots in your life had been untangled. 

RIsotto came home late, looking tired. You were on the couch, typing on your laptop. When you saw him, you put it down and reached out. He pulled off his tie and fell onto your lap, groaning. “They’re so fucking stupid.”

You stroked his hair gently. “What happened?”

He shook his head. “They’ll never survive without me.”

He turned over and looked up at you. “They’re barely making it without you. With both of us gone, this whole operation might just go under.”

You sighed. “Prosciutto?”

Risotto bit his lip. “Has his hands full containing the leak. Formaggio would be able to hold it down for a few days, and with Illuso, probably a full week.”

You shrugged. “So we have some extra work at the end of the day. Not a bad thing.”

He shrugged back and stayed quiet. You kept scratching his hair, and he hummed. You smiled. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

He nodded, yawning again. You patted his head. “Go put on pajamas. You’ll wrinkle your suit.”

He rolled his eyes, and got up. “The suit isn’t even that expensive-”

You shook your head. “I like it, I don’t want it to get wrinkled.”

He stuck his tongue out playfully, and you smiled. 

You turned on the TV while he changed. You glanced into your shared room. He was down to his briefs, stretching out tired muscles. He smiled at you, and you smiled back. He pulled on a baggy tshirt and came out. “Hey.”

You held out your arms, and he laid down on you. His feet were hanging off the end of the couch, but he didn’t care.

The day of your wedding came faster than you’d expected. Risotto had stayed over at Formaggio’s place the night before, so tradition could be kept. A team of Passione aestheticians had come over early in the morning and made you up and laced you into the dress.  You sat in a chair and looked at yourself as they contoured and colored your face. The makeup was soft. You swallowed the nervousness in your throat. You were the queen, and they knew it. What had you done to get there? What would you do to stay there?

The church you were getting married in was massive. All of Passione was in attendance for the ceremony, but only a select few would be present for the reception, mostly the former members of La Squadra di Esecuzione and their new spouses or underlings. Bruno’s squad would be there as well, even Mista. Risotto had refused to budge on ordering him to attend. The final nail in his coffin, watching the woman you love become inaccessible forever. 

You were prepared to walk down the aisle alone. But when Prosciutto met you at the door and offered his arm, you were grateful. He kissed your cheek gently. “You look beautiful.”

You smiled at him. “Thank you.”

He nodded. “I know I have to give you away to him.”

You touched his cheek. Your heels made you taller than him. “We’re friends.”

He closed his eyes. “Yes.”

The music started, and the doors opened.

The church was beautiful, festooned in lace and white roses. The sun shone through green, white and blue stained glass, and the ceiling was high and airy.  Your train trailed behind you as you walked down the aisle with Prosciutto. 

Risotto was standing at the altar, looking angry as usual. His tuxedo was black from the skin out. The only break was his white tie. He turned to you, and his facade broke. 

His face crumpled, and he covered his face as he began to cry. You rushed the last few steps and took his wrists. “Ris, what-?”

The church was stunned. Nobody had ever seen him cry before. He pulled his hands away from his face and wiped away his tears. “Fuck. You’re beautiful. I never thought-”

You smiled weakly. “If you cry, I’ll cry. Quit it.”

He nodded and inhaled deeply. His black sclera never revealed that he’d been crying. The priest cleared his throat. “Are we ready?”

You nodded and took Risotto’s hands. The priest began. “Dearly beloved-”

You zoned out and watched Risotto’s face. He was smiling at you. He looked utterly content. You both repeated after the priest, and after your “I do’s”, he stepped back. “The couple will now state their vows to one another before God.”

Risotto swallowed hard and pulled out a stack of notecards. He blinked and looked at you. “Y/N. You are the woman I love. When I found you, I hoped against hope that someday we would be here, and I, against all odds, and all evidence to the contrary, have finally gotten something I want. Someone I want. You have risked your life to get us where we are now, but that stops here. I will keep you safe. I will make a home for you, wherever that may be.”

He swallowed hard and continued. “As I stand here, under the eyes of God and Passione, I know that I chose right. I chose you, and I will keep choosing you.”

You sniffled, and Prosciutto at your elbow handed you a handkerchief. You took Risotto’s hands. “Risotto Nero, you have been the only constant in my life for a long time. I have loved you for longer than I know, and I feel blessed every day that I’m by your side. You make me laugh and cry, rage and smile. I have risked my life for yours, as you do for mine. I would do it again in a heartbeat. You are the only man I would do this for. I chose you. I will keep choosing you.”

The priest spoke softly, but the whole church heard it. “You may now kiss the bride.”

Risotto’s lips were on your before the priest finished his sentence. You could taste salt and blood, tears and iron. His lips were crushing and desperate, his hands pulling you in close to him passionately. 

He pulled back, panting softly, and you smiled at him. “You have lipstick marks.”

He laughed and pulled away, taking your hand in his and facing the church. The priest announced, “I present to you today, under God for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Risotto Nero.”

Epilogue.

Of course it didn’t end there. Risotto rose in power and fame, eventually controlling all of Italy in his web of organized crime. He became known as “L’uomo Nero”, fitting both because of his last name and his fashion sense, as well as his sadistic taste in punishment. He was feared and respected. He never allowed anyone else to dole out punishment, and ruled with an iron fist.

Your powers, as soft as they seemed, were more feared among the organization. Rumors of you making men fall in love with a touch, then leading them into the jaws of L’uomo Nero, circulated long after you both retired. 

When Risotto turned 35, he decided he’d had enough. You retired with him to a small villa on a hill in Sicily, overlooking the beach. You stopped taking birth control, and were pregnant with twins within the year. They were born as white-haired as their father. Risotto doted on them, and on you.

You found him one day staring into the mirror at his body. When you had met him, ten years ago now, he had been slim and tall, like a tree. As he neared middle age, his body had thickened and gained muscle and fat. His belly stuck out over his shorts, and body hair had thickened on his chest and stomach. He’d raised an eyebrow at you, and you’d kissed him. He’d sighed. “I’m not the same man you married.”

You’d laughed. “I’m not the same woman. Does that mean we give up? Does that mean I don’t love you every day?”

He smiled and kissed you again. “No. It doesn’t.”

You were pregnant again the next year. Risotto’s love for you grew as his children did, and when you became pregnant again with twins, he decided it was time for a vasectomy. You agreed. 

You grew old together, watching your children play in the waves.

[thehoardofthegreatdragon]

Urahara Kisuke: "Come on baby, I know the law" But Actually Illegal

Hello and welcome to Coco has Too Many Feelings Hour. Today, it’s a character analysis of Urahara Kisuke because what gave him the fucking right to be so cool? WHAT GAVE HIM THE RIGHT?

Anyway. This is going to be half based on his dialogue, and half based on general action patterns, since both are damn interesting. There will be spoilers for most things but I’ll try to keep things after the Aizen arc vague. Also, it should go without saying that this is all my interpretation and very biased (extra biased because I Love Him). 

[AKA: This is like, just my opinion, man.]

Now before we begin can we just pause to appreciate how beautiful he is? If you haven’t, stare at this picture for at least a minute. Go on, I’ll time you. 

Now we can move on. 

Kisuke is, in a word, complicated. If I had to describe him (and considering that’s the point of this entire goddamn document, I better try), I’d say he’s a man with unstoppable curiosity and a heart that is far too soft to handle the fallout of his own invention. 

No matter where you put him, no matter what time he’s born into, he will create a weapon he shouldn’t have. He has this strange bit of naïveté about his science at first, but it fades as he sees what his science has done to people he cares for. He has a good heart-- a soft heart, under it all-- so he can’t just accept the damage he’s done and move on. He turns that genius to invention, so that he can fix the things he broke. He wants to help everyone he can, because he hurt so many. 

But that doesn’t ever make the guilt go away, and it doesn’t stop him from using people when he has to— we see this happen with Ichigo in the Soul Society invasion arc. Kisuke uses him to achieve his goals, but he is far from happy about it and apologizes afterwards. 

Alright, into the meat of his character. I’m going to skim over the fact that he is arguably one of the strongest characters in the entire show, a man who plans for every eventuality compulsively because he understands that people die in battle (people die when they are killed), and so intelligent that he was one of the few people Aizen actually was wary of. I’m skimming it, because otherwise this already too long essay would be three times as long and wax rhapsodic about every way that he is, in fact, an incredible badass. 

[IM SKIPPING IT FOR ALL OUR SAKES OKAY.] 

He will and does help people, but he’s very guarded. It makes a terrible kind of sense, because he worked in the Omnitsukidō, and I don’t think anyone can come out of a spy and assassination agency without some jadedness. The exile doesn’t help either, because now he’s been forced to deal with the fallout from a betrayal and the loss of his home too. 

That being said, the exile also made him more of his own man. Freer, in many ways. More able to be the eccentric self he wants to, better adapted to life, more likely to see how people could use him and less likely to let it happen. I think the living world suits him in a way that Soul Society never really did. 

At his core he's a good person, but he built walls upon walls around himself. And those walls never come down, and some of them are mirrors, and some of them are smokescreens that don’t look like walls, because he can never be simple and he doesn’t want to be understood. And even if someone does see part of who he is, he wants them to only see that particular part. 

He is an eccentric free spirit whose drive for invention cost him more dearly than anything else. His will to create, his truest self— the scientist, with inventions to make and the world to explore— started a war. It ruined the lives of people he wanted to be friends, and people who were friends. 

And as a scientist, that’s the greatest blow of all. It’s like Oppenheimer and the atomic bomb. He created a weapon he couldn’t control, but he did it with something he loved with his whole heart. It hurts twice as deeply, when it comes from love. 

He’s also a follower more than a leader. Kisuke is the support type, for all his fighting skill— he’s ready with backup plans and transportation and research, but he needs a person to follow into battle. For a long time that was Yoruichi. Then he stood on his own as a captain, but the way he did it was by structuring his division into a support division rather than a truly fighting one (his own way of coping with new leadership, imo. He turned the 12th into the division he wanted it to be, rather than really learning how to lead a fighting division). 

Then he had to stand on his own, in exile, and he did. I imagine this was mostly fueled by guilt and determination, because he had to fix the mess he had helped create and defeat Aizen. But even still, he still kept to the shadows and planned Aizen’s downfall, rather than stepping on the battlefield and doing it himself (for many reasons, of course— Aizen was still in Soul Society’s good graces and it would have been suicide, Kisuke is not a foolish man who would throw away the best chance at success for a fight). 

And at last, he chose Ichigo to follow. But this is doubly interesting because at first he is uses Ichigo to achieve his goals. Supposedly, Kisuke himself couldn’t have gone to Soul Society to rescue Rukia (because of the exile, though let’s face it Kubo’s world building doesn’t explain how Yoruichi could go so who really knows. And Kisuke being Kisuke, would have found a way into Soul Society if he thought it would help their fight against Aizen. Anyone who doesn’t believe that can see the TYBW arc and Fight Me). 

But there were many people who had a better chance of going in his stead, and many ways to save Rukia that didn’t involve a straightforward invasion. This is not to mention that Kisuke used Rukia too, with the intention of forcing Aizen’s hand. 

So when Ichigo and Kisuke first meet, he views Ichigo as a tool (and a person, because he’s a good man and never free of the guilt).  

But with each battle, we see how Kisuke trusts Ichigo more and more. This progression continues until the last battle with Aizen, and then after that Kisuke stands behind Ichigo with absolutely no hesitation. Throughout the last arc, throughout the remainder of the manga, when Ichigo needed him, Kisuke was there— with supplies, with research, with a path to Hueco Mundo, hell even with a path to the big palace up in the sky. And Kisuke trusted Ichigo absolutely— see the panel where Ichigo asks Kisuke to hold out until he gets there, and everything will be alright because Ichigo will handle it. And Kisuke’s response to that is just a smile and a single word— “Understood.” 

The trust between them is absolute. This is surprising, if you think of how few people Kisuke has really trusted over the years, and how few he trusts to this extent. 

[It’s also very interesting that of all the people Ichigo choses to tell to “wait for me,” it’s Kisuke but that’s just my loyalty kink showing up don’t mind me.]

Once the guilt of using him was gone, Kisuke could follow the leader he’d chosen. And he did, endlessly. 

On that note, Kisuke’s dialogue choice with Ichigo develops in a very interesting way. In the beginning its challenging and on the ruthless side (“don’t use her as an excuse to kill yourself,” for example), into something much more trusting and less challenging (the “understood” for instance, or the “what would you like me to do” ). This evolution tracks with the evolution of Kisuke’s changing attitude towards Ichigo. 

We move from Kisuke only promising to help when he extracts something in return (“Do you really think, there is no way to get to Soul Society? I’ll tell you, on one condition.”) to Kisuke offering to help Ichigo before being asked (“My my, you guys sure are having an interesting conversation. So, this Hueco Mundo trip. Shall I arrange it?”).

[Imagine how much literally anyone else would pay to have a scientist of Kisuke’s caliber basically on retainer. And Ichigo gets it for the low low price of absolutely free.]

All this is to say, that I think that Kisuke can and is always ready for any eventuality but that it’s only after his trust is earned by Ichigo that he gives his plans so easily to other people. He has chosen a king, so to speak. 

[Don’t call out my power kink or I will personally end you.]

Moving on to dialogue in general, we see many damn interesting patterns. Perhaps intentionally, Kisuke's a bit on a different wavelength, and no one expects the answers he gives to any questions. Its eccentricity, but honed into a weapon and very self-aware. He often interprets questions in different ways than expected, like he’s purposefully setting people off guard. 

Consider the following response he gives to an enemy in later chapters (TYBW arc): 

“Asking me such a personal question, is really more of a second date thing.”

He’s never met this person before in his life, and his response is to just, straight up flirt. THIS IS FLIRTING. KISUKE. WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING. HE’S NOT EVEN HOT. 

Anyway. In general, Kisuke has two broad categories of speech patterns: completely serious and teasing-playful-fake-humble.  Unlike many other characters who use a baiting tone and words against enemies (Frankenstein from Noblesse comes to mind as an example), Kisuke uses them on friends and enemies alike. And his tone isn’t really mocking but fake-humble and fake-playful.

Examples of this—

“Oh? You know of me. What an honor.” (Said behind fan)

“It’s wedged in their rather fatally, Yoruichi-san!” (Said to Yoruichi’s ass)

[Seriously, who does this asshole think he is? Yoruichi kicks him and I’m glad she does.]

He's very often cheerful, and usually smiling as he speaks. I’d say his eyes are the biggest giveaway to his emotion because they dont really ever soften. (And because Kubo has a Thing for drawing them covered in shadows and looking badass, see Exhibit: Oh No He’s Hot, pictured below)

In this playful mode, even when he apologizes it’s usually in a way that somehow makes it worse. He’s constantly either annoying people or throwing them off guard or a combination, but in a much more cheerful eccentric way than say, Frankenstein. For example, after he says the line above to Yoruichi (in the middle of a battle, I might add), he says this:

“Why would you kick me? I came to help. I’m sorry, perhaps the expression “wedged in” was a bit vulgar.” 

He’s managed to repeat the thing that made her kick him, in a way that almost makes it worse, but in a way that makes it seem like hes trying to apologize. It’s very clever, and also ideal for pissing people off, intentional or not. (But who are we kidding, this is Kisuke. It’s definitely intentional). 

But he can also switch to a serious mode quite quickly, seemingly able to interweave the two modes without really needing to break between them. This most often comes out when there is someone to save or protect.

[Because he's secretly a softie, as mentioned above, god I love him]

For example, when Masaki is in danger, even tho he's never met her or the soul reapers before (and when his very existence should make him avoid Isshin), he says this:

“We dont have time to waste. Both of you, please come with me. I will tell you the choices you have to save her.”

It’s to the point, succinct, polite, and also filled with a desire to save. It’s also completely at odds with his playful tone when he speaks in other times. I think this dichotomy is the core of Kisuke. Of course he's playful and eccentric— and this makes him the delightful character he is— but at his core he's a man who cares about people and wants to help. He doesn’t hesitate to apologize when he is in the wrong either, kneeling before Ichigo after the Soul Society arc and not asking for forgiveness but explaining why he is sorry. (Ichigo forgives him, because Ichigo will always forgive him, and that hurts even more). 

But even when there are threats to life, if they've been dealt with and he's in a controlled environment, he pulls out the playful act again, though it often has an edge. For example, after he saves Ichigo for the first time he says this:

“What? You sound upset. Didn’t you want to be saved?”

It’s on the edge of teasing but its also much more pointed than anything else he's said to Ichigo at this point. It’s followed by some of the rawest and cruelest lines of dialogue I’ve ever read, because Kisuke doesn’t flinch back from being harsh when he has to be. 

Even his cruelty, when he is forced to use it, comes from a place of care and a desire to help. Doesn’t stop it from stinging like hell. 

It’s at this point where I descended into crying about Kisuke and how good he was and how much I love him, and so decided to stop.

In summary: Kisuke is a good man who couldn’t stop himself from inventing the most destructive weapon to exist. But he’s a good man, and so he spent a century crafting his own penance. 

General Kisuke Dialogue I’ve collected, in case people find it useful:

Stop fighting, you two. It’s my fault, I should have disposed of it. 

We have no choice. We’ve got to find it and neutralize it before it causes any trouble. 

No way, accidents happen! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. There now, its okay. 

Good, let’s move! Operation “recall”

Well look here. We finally find you, and you’re already incapacitated. What a waste. We lugged all this stuff here for nothing. 

I’m going to destroy it. Hmm. I’m not sure how to answer that. 

This is serious. I won’t take the fall for you. 

No no, Kurosaki-san. Your wounds have barely closed. If you move around too much, you’ll die <3. 

Do you really think, there is no way to get to Soul Society?

I’ll tell you, on one condition. For the next ten days, you must allow me to train you. 

You don’t understand. What I’m trying to tell you is they’ll kill you.Could you win? If you fought them as you are? I allowed you to fight them this time, because I thought it would make it easier for you to understand. At your current level of ability, you wouldn’t stand a chance in soul society. You’re weak. For you to venture into enemy territory now would be suicide. You want to save Kuchiki-san? Don’t make me laugh. Don’t use her as an excuse to kill yourself. 

Of course. If you wish to save Kuchiki-san with your whole heart, then you have at your disposal a power stronger than iron. But if your resolve is half-hearted, forget it. For the next ten days, I’m going to put you through the wringer. 

What? You sound upset. Didn’t you want to be saved?

He went home. His wound bled a lot, but it wasn’t severe. 

Couldn’t you have come up with anything better? [how lame]

Looks like I was a step too late.

What would you like me to do? Shall I book a ticket to reiokyu? It may take me some time though. [to ichigo]

We dont have time to waste. Both of you, please come with me. I will tell you the choices you have to save her. 

My my, you guys sure are having an interesting conversation. So, this Hueco Mundo trip. Shall I arrange it?

[I] its usually like this with Urahara. [K] you know me too well <3

Oh? You know of me. What an honor. (Said behind fan)

To be included in such an esteemed group, I don’t know what to say. Its an honor, but he’s giving me too much credit.

It’s wedged in their rather fatally, Yoruichi-san!

Why would you kick me? I came to help. I’m sorry, perhaps the expression “wedged in” was a bit vulgar (makes fake apologies a lot)

Asking me such a personal question, is really more of a second date thing.

You see, even if I don’t tell you, you’ll be up close and personal with it soon enough.

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[yoursinfulurges]

Baby Blue Circumstances

Winwin ×| Taeyong ×| Jaehyun ●| Johnny ×| Irregular Office Series.

Description:

In which a handsome, young, rich man tries to persuade you into giving him full custody of your kids. Because 'Technically they were his'.......

Warnings: Graphic sex, not-so-vanilla kinks, mentions of adoption, abortion, alcohol, toxic relations, child neglect, plot based.

If you do not like any of these then i advise you to go read something else in my blog.

I feel like i don't need disclaimers because it's obvious that this ain't real so....

_____________

You scrambled to turn on the tv as the impatient three year old in your arm screams. Wincing at the sound as you hurriedly ran from one area to another. Your apartment filling with the sounds of high pitched cries, and overly positive pixilated cartoon characters. The cries seemed to only get louder as you placed her down for a millisecond, to swiftly grab her baby bottle from the microwave. It was well over Jaehye's feeding time, being that it was already two o'clock and that she usually ate at twelve. Your gaze shifts from the child in your arms to the other, peacefully sat on the sofa. Unlike his sister he was calm, even laughing at whatever the animated characters were saying. You smiled fondly at the child. And looked at Jaehye once more, noticing that her eyelids are at the midst of shutting, indicating that she was close to slumber. You smiled and slowly made your way to their shared bedroom. Entering the mellow, navy blue painted room; you carefully tried stepping over the lego's and ponies that were scattered all over the floor. Succeeding, and carefully placing your daughter on her bed. You wrapped her arms around her brown fuzzy teddy bear and gently tucked her in, not forgetting to close the curtains on your way out.

It had been exactly 1 year since you had adopted these two angels. Though it was a lifestyle that was quite hard adjust to, nonetheless you were glad you made the decision. You would've never imagined that you'd become a mother so soon, as you were just starting to get your life together. You were a college graduate one day and suddenly a mother of two the next. Your friends called you crazy; your father asked if you were mentally sane; your sister made it very clear to you she disapproved; whilst your mother tried persuaded you to do it. You were puzzled. But, you can truly say that it was the best decision of your life.

Yes it was a real pain in the ass at first, but now it's become second nature. You no longer have to wake up in the butt crack of dawn to feed them; as they were more than capable now to grab a baby bottle from the mini-fridge in their room. You saved up money and effort by potty training them. And your financials seemed to stabilized as you no longer needed to spend extra money on over priced diapers. You weren't exactly a natural at motherhood but over time you gained the skills and know the children like the back of your hand. Even having a stable routine for them, of course without the surprised tantrums and spontaneous needs for story times. Their favorite story by far was superwoman, as your daughter calls it. It the more child-friendly tale of how they came to be in your arms, but they didn't need to know that...

The story of these two touched you dearly. Really it was quite a fairytale. Whilst working as an editor for some fashion magazine you somehow caught wind of the story of these two from your co-works. It was said that they came from an unfit mother who neglected them, and left her twelve year old sister to care for the kids. Leaving them with sevier health problems. The mother was a drug addict that chose to spend her time at night clubs, instead of caring for her children. She liked the carefree lifestyle, and you tried to understand her, really. But everything went into the trash can after she was convicted for attempted murder of the kids, not to mention drug possession and distributing. You've met her and can truly say that she was the most vile and disgusting person you've ever met. And the father?.... that was uncertain... It saddened you to know that they were made by accident... Two precious and loving children were conceived with the soul purpose of pleasure.

You debated for weeks whether or not you should do it. Rolling out the con's and sticking with the pro's: a stable job with a nice boss that paid way over minimum wage, a big apparent, and a job that works from home most of the time. You've asked many for their opinions and while most encouraged you and applauded you, there were some that disapproved, your sister to be exact. You and her have always been close, her only being two years older. She was wise and you always trusted her guidance. You understood why she disapproved and couldn't really blame her. You were just getting your life together, this would just crumble everything down. You were sad that you couldn't get her approval, but you didn't really need her permission. It was mainly your parents who you really needed to consult with. Of course they were unsure at first but they trusted you and made sure you knew the responsibilities before encouraging you. You knew what you were doing. Those children needed a mother, they needed someone. And so, the very next day you found yourself leaving the orphanage in front of your work place, with two children at hand. They were happy, despite what they've gone through. Though you highly doubted that they even know what's happening.

That day was filled with so much laughter and fond memories. In just one day, you showed them more love than their previous mother ever did. They even refused to sleep in their own room, scared that when they wake up they'll be back at the hands of their unfit mother.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a lound knock on the front door. You stood up from your previous spot, on the couch, and slowly made your way to the door. Slowly opening it to reveal a handsome young man, that looked to be in his early twenties. He was wearing a grey suit that look very expensive, with brown swept back hair, and newly polished shoes. He was undoubtedly the hottest person you've ever seen...

"May i help you?" You asked, hesitancy clearly evident in your voice. "Yes, are you Ms. Lee by any chance?" He smiled, proudly displaying his dimples. His chocolate drown eyes sparkling in what looked to be delight, as his deep husky voice erupted from his lips. "That's me." You nodded. "I don't know how to tell you this, but im the father of your child." Your jaw dropped a little as your eyes blink rapidly, heart pounding in disbelief as you looked at the man again. He looked calm, pleased almost. "What are you- Jaeun, g-go look after y-your sister please..." You ordered, eyes not leaving the man. To which the little boy nodded to before turning off the tv and scurrying off. Clearly understanding that a talk between you and the man needed to be held without his presence. "Sister?" The man infront of you mumbled to himself. "I-i think you need to come in." Unnervingly, you said. To which he replied, "very well..."

"I didn't get your name?" He asked as he sipped on the wine he opted for instead of water. "Y/n, you?" The atmosphere was quieter than space; and ten times more awkwarder than your interactions with your neighbors who mate like wild rabbits. How do you follow up 'im the father of your child' by 'how was your day?' No.

"Jaehyun." He placed the wine glass down before clrossing his legs, a smirk playing on his lips. "S-so jaehyun why are you here exactly?" Jaehyun hm? Well now you can see where the mother got her inspiration from. She was probably moaning the name the entire night...

You saw the resemblance between him and the children, like the dimples and eyes, also the cheeks. They looked more like him than the mom, he was definitely the father. "Look I'll be very honest here. I wanna take back my child. I was unaware that they existed and i wanna raise him as my own now. So how much will it take." Was he thinking that he could just pay you off like that? Fuck no. Who does he think he is. To walk in here thinking he can buy the children off you. They are your children now not his. If he wants them he's gonna have to kill you off first. You were enraged as a matter of fact.

"Excuse me!? Do you just think you can pay me off like that? They're my children now, not yours. You may be the father but they're under my custody now." It was evident in your voice that you were angry but your stature remained calm. So did his, he just sat there and sipped on his wine, angering you even more. Did he think this was some game? "Look y/n, how much do you want, im prepared to pay any amount." He probed once more. "I don't want your money." Did he think he was doing you some good? You had money too, financials are the last thing you should be worrying about...

"Very well then, i didn't wanna have to do this but, Ms. Lee y/n, im suing you." He couldn't sue you, he had nothing against you. He just hoped that you would buy his bullshit and give him what he wanted.

"Suing me? You have nothing on me. What are you gonna sue me for? I signed the legal papers that clearly stated they are my children now! It was never stated that there were two legal guardians that i needed signatures from. Technically, you can't sue me!"

Damn you were smart...

"Im still suing you."

"For what!"

"Emotional distress!"

"Emotional distress?! Unbelievable! Get out!" You scoffed. Anger flowing through your vains.

"Mommy what's with all the screaming?"

In the midst of glaring at jaehyun a high pitched voice spoke, breaking your strong gaze. Your eyes soften as you turn to the hallway and see both your kids innocently watching.

"Nothing baby, nothing. This man was just leaving, go back to your room." You softly uttered.

"There's two of them?..." Asked jaehyun as he takes in the child's features.

"Yes, they're twins." The tone you used was unreadable, a mix of defeat and agony.

"Can I just talk to them, please. Then I'll leave." He begged, a glimpse of desperation in his eyes. You couldn't say no, you just couldn't...

"Alright, but don't tell them you're their father. Their not ready yet..." Jaehyun nodded and you called the kids to sit with you. They were hesitant at first but eventually did.

"Hi." Jaeun was the first to speak up.

"Hello." Jaehyun laughed at the boys cuteness.

"I'm jaeun, who are you?" He asked, pointing at the males direction.

"I'm jaehyun, nice to meet you." Jaehyun spoke to the child with care and gentleness. You saw how eagerly he wanted to get to know them. Extremely vulnerable to rejection.

"Nice to meet you hyung, that's my sister jaehye, but she's really shy..." jaehyun diverts his attention to the little girl curled up in your arms and waves. Jaehye smiles and waves back at him before quickly hiding in your chest.

"Look, I'm not giving you full custody of my kids, but you are always welcome to come and see them." You said sternly, arms wrapping around the frail figure in your arms.

Jaehyun nodded and smiled. That day he left with an unshakable feeling of excitement and a new formed attraction towards you.

He knew then and there that he wanted to be the father of your children. And if you will have him, the husband of your dreams.

Part 2?

Let me know what you guys thought of it.

[d-untoldstoryteller-blog]

Struggle and abuse

Do you guys remember any of you childhood memory? Obviously you do. The sweet memories growing up filled with love by our parents when your parents taught you how to ride a bike and stuff. Almost everyone has this. I have none of this. Its full of bitterness and struggle. In another way, my parents cause almost the pain that i have endure for almost 20 years. What i meant was the struggle to make money for my mum and the abuse. 

My mum and my dad got married when she gets pregnant with my brother. Well its shotgun marriage. This is unwanted family. The unwanted family that so staunch and restricted in so many ways for girls. How could you be so staunch yet being an asshole at the same time. We are the product of broken family but it wasn’t that broken and also a product from second marriage. Yes, my dad has two family. Of course the first wife was furious when she found out that my dad impregnate some girl while he’s being so careless with the first family. My dad can’t keep his dick in the pants as what i could see, also preaching bout islamic studies and stuff. Yet i’ve never listened to it but i still do believe in it.  I could be total passive aggressive asshole when i talk to them. i have 1 useless brother and 1 sister that i could talk all of our struggle to be where we are right now (i’m glad that someone knew bout this)

Everything started with my mum favoring my eldest useless brother name John Doe (not a real name). Since we were kids, my sister and i were force to do all the chores and will never ever get the same treatment as my brother. Back then the culture was too toxic to bare where women belongs to a kitchen and guys allowed to play outside and do whatever he wants, such a lousy culture and i wish i could mash it and turn it to be mash potatoes and throw it away. He’s the golden child to my mum. My dad on the other hands was too busy to come back home. We dont have father figure in our family but we do have father just that we barely see him at home. Since i was 7, i’d always planning to run away from home being away from my family and i knew my family wasn’t a healthy family for me to grow up but i just pretend to get along with everyone while waiting for a right time to get away. School is the place for me to become who i am. Since i was 7 until 10 years old, my mum sent me to an islamic school. I couldn’t cope with it and i can’t say no to my mum. Why i can’t say no? We been taught not to say no to our parents. So i did my school years in islamic school and the difference is they include all of the the islamic and secular education. It was a good school but my mum withdraw me from the school because the fees too expensive compare from gov school and its so fucking far from my home! 

When i was 10, i started went to gov school much nearer to my house and cheaper as well. This is where my first abuse happened. We sleep in the same room, all of us cramped into one room even though our small house has 3 rooms but my mum turn the second room to be storage room, Ughhhhh my mum such a hoarder and i fucking hate that. It was normal night but in the middle of night i woke up seeing my brother pull down my pants, i was so scared to scream and woke my sister that dozing off beside me. i was helpless. He was rubbing his hands against my genital for few minutes. I wanted to cry and i knew its wrong for him to do so. He went to toilet right afterwards and wash it and i still pretending to sleep. Next morning i told my mum bout it, BIG MISTAKE!! she went to my brother and fucking politely asked my brother ‘Did you touch alex last night?’ he replied without any remorse ‘No, i didn’t’. Right after he replied my mum pretending everything is gonna be okay and gosh that’s where i knew i hate my own mother and i knew she won’t stand by me. So i told my sister and she was furious and threaten my mum to lodge a report and told my father. My mum forbid my sister to do so. we both young and we didn't what to do. It gave me deep wound that will never ever heal. Me and my sister knew we have to get the fuck out from the house and find solace outside. We couldn’t trust our own mother and our father are disgusted with us even though he didn't know what has happened until he died but somehow my dad hated my brother and love me and my sister dearly but my own mum always find way for my dad hated us the way he hated my brother. According to my dad, my brother is useless and pampered by my mum and she couldn’t accept the fact my dad doesn’t like her golden child. 

I started working while i went to school when i was 13, that’s where i know bout the outside world. I started smoking ciggie back then, i’m kinda like it. My sister and i always stole one stick of ciggie from my dad because he left the ciggie at the dining table and we doesn’t want to buy the whole pack. He would questioned everyone why the hell his ciggie became lesser day by day. Oohh its funny moments when we fooled our parents. Everything seems normal from the outside but deep inside of me, im trying to find cure from my broken and wound heart. I felt empty back then, I didnt know what is love and i’m still hate my mum. My dad passed away when i was 15 on February, one month before my birthday. He passed away in front of me. I woke up startle because my mum told me that dad was having trouble breathing and having a hard time to stand. She’s having panic attack and kept calling everyone including ambulances to come over. I was so  angry that she became so panic and i started screaming at my mum to fucking get a grip. Ohh by this time, my sis and my brother wasn’t at home because they started working abit far from home so they have to stay some other place that nearer to their workplace. My dad passed away in front of me, i dont know what to feel and i wasn’t crying. Everyone that i knew came to our house that morning so i pretended to cry. Well yeah me and my dad are so close but still i couldn’t cry. Some part of me accepting that he died and i gotta move on. That’s life. 

[celestialholz]

‘A Non-Linear Perspective’, aka ya girl’s latest Qcard drabble

My new friend @tolstoyevskywrites requested a little thing last week, which I haven’t gotten round to quite yet (my baaaad), which runs a little like so:

Can I have a drabble where someone else in the crew finds out that Q and Picard are together? It can be Riker, Troi, Data, whoever you want xD

... Well, we all know I can’t answer a prompt like a normal human being at this point, right? Welcome to the madhouse, Tol - make yourself an Earl Grey, chuck, and strap in, won’t you? Because this is absolutely fucking ridiculous and I’m slightly in love with it. xD

It’s blissfully quiet, aboard this curious vessel she calls home.

It’s blissfully quiet, aboard this curious vessel she calls home. Radio silence broadcasts smoothly across the airwaves, delightfully absent of the orchestrated panic of its chief engineer; no one appears to be streaking through the outer corridors, their pointless existences in jeopardy; it’s perfectly still, not even the most microscopic of shudders trembling through the mainframe (that damned hum that her acquaintances seem so ignorant of persists, but she’s long since gotten used to that – it’s no barrier to a restful slumber). Even if her favoured person returns (time means nothing, ultimately – how long has he been gone? She doubts it’s quite long enough, in any case), he will be respectful of her weariness – after all, it’s incredibly difficult work doing so little, and there’s a reason why she so kindly tolerates him.

No, this is a rare experience indeed, and one she fully intends to appreciate. She stretches, lithe form extending itself completely for a moment, before she circles and settles, quite contentedly, atop the fleecy blanket of the bed. Its scent is mildly synthetic, accompanied by the faintest whiff of whatever was on that garish portrait across the bedroom. She closes her eyes rather deliberately against its offensiveness – honestly, all that effort for something so meaningless. Did it offer food? Entertainment? Strokes? Even the one depicted in it had seemed reluctant to praise its virtues.

She tucks into herself, drifting steadily off, the absolute tranquillity and joyful warmth permeating her completely. Perhaps she’ll dream of forests, or of crawling through Jeffries tubes, an exploratory mission of epic proportions; there’ll be mice in there somewhere, she just knows it –

Her eyes wrench open seconds before the oblivion she so craves, an obnoxious, echo-y sort of sound alerting her sensitive ears to something that appears to have been accompanied by an equally excessive flash –

She’s almost retroactively aware that she’s no longer cocooned by cosiness, and she levels her most malevolent glare and harshest snarl at the intruders as she recovers from being shoved so callously aside – how dare they, the human scum –

They’re desperately attached, mostly without clothing, scents permeating the perfectly pleasant air with biological pollution – supplement forty-six, how she hates them both! One of them wrenches back from the other, and she blinks curiously through a burning abhorrence – she knows that one. Her favourite respects him greatly – he’s important, somehow, though perfectly ordinary in appearance and aroma.

She’ll be damned to a hell of boisterous Dalmatians before she’ll defer to him, the utter bastard.

“Q!” He demands hotly. “Where the hell are we?!”

The other is significantly less tolerant of the distraction, apparently; she empathises entirely, although… she’s never seen him, but his scent – he’s not of this ship. She isn’t sure he’s of this galaxy; he smells not of confined conduits, or stress, or anything that she’s ever smelled upon another living soul. She understands these things, far better than the limited humanoids she occupies a space with, and it leads her to only one conclusion.

This is his fault. She fixes into a battle stance, glad of an official focus for her towering rage – she’s one against two, but one with one hell of a set of claws.

“Does it damned well matter, Jean-Luc? I’m slightly preoccupied – I’m sure you can empathise!” Her offender replies urgently, attempting to re-engage his companion – by the kingdom of rodents, this is more intolerable than her favourite and that other one! At least they feed her!

She flatly refuses to be ignored – grace befitting her position of superiority, she jumps back upon her rightful throne, claws itching to be extended into the neck of her usurper, glare toxic. The respected one turns to glance at her, and she releases a warning hiss for his troubles.

“Dear god,” he murmurs, eyes wide with horror. “We’re in Data and Geordi’s – what are we doing here, dammit?! Q!”

The evil one raises a brow, expression sheepish as he meets the venom of his newfound enemy; he’ll be fortunate if he has an expression left when she’s through with him.

“Ah,” he notes wryly, “I… may have been looking for a source of apathy, subconsciously. You’re rather overwhelming, mon capitan, and I imagine you’re quite partial to your galactic locality remaining intact.”

The important one’s eyes soften, much to her disgust.

“And there can be no greater apathy than a cat,” he finishes, amused. “A universal constant, apparently.”

“Oh, you’re about to discover exactly how apathetic I can be, humanoid wretch!”

She launches with planned spontaneity, at the most calculated moment, when the atrocity of a man will least expect it – he will pay, dearly, for his disturbance of her precious rest. She’s inches from his chest, claws extended fully, her very blood singing with the need for vengeance –

“Yes, no.”

The dismissive snap of his tone is followed swiftly by one from his fingers, and she never reaches her target. She’s left in situ, dangling precariously, the hateful gaze she’s directing at him returned almost as fiercely.

“I know you think you’re one, dear feline,” he spits, “but I actually am a god.”

“Q, let her go,” the other bites out coolly. He goes to protest, but thinks better of it; she’s released from the mystical prison of stillness, and she hisses bitterly for good measure.

“I will have my vengeance.” Her meow is pure rage as she realises she’s once again off the damned bed.

“Of course you will,” he drawls at her, unconcerned. “I trust you’ll keep your own counsel, furbag.”

Furbag?! The utter nerve! Her favourite had told her only earlier how pretty she was! Her grooming routine put felines the quadrant over to shame, the despicable –

“She’s hardly going to plough us through the ship’s gossip mill, Q,” the important one comments dryly, facing his companion with softness. “I assume you’ll be more cautious where you direct your apathy in future, however?”

She takes a moment from her current schedule of comprehensive incandescence to marvel at how the face of evil can look so warm.

“I shall endeavour to be a paragon of subtlety, my dear.”

They’re there one second, and she’s almost wrapped up her plan of sweet, sweet revenge; she’s sneaking cautiously, the very image of stealth, around the smooth fabric of the bedding, her movements gloriously quiet – he’ll rue every damned word –

She arrives back on the duvet just as they vanish with that same stupid noise and blinding flash, and she shrieks a hiss of pure fury.

“I’m telling everyone, you wait!” She screams. “Your empires shall crumble beneath my wrath!”

She flops, outraged, to the covering, starting at the sudden weight to her left; she flips up instantly, high on alert, and sniffs curiously.

… Oh. That’s supplement seventy-three, the one her favourite’s never quite managed to synthesise properly since that first wondrous occasion. Its aroma is divine, though the most intriguing snatch of eternity glimmers around it. Deciding to obey the will of her stomach rather than her natural caution, she tucks in with gusto, devouring it as though the soul of the victim that’s maddeningly disappeared.

She’ll get the bastard, one day – however delicious his pitiful offering was.

[hundredsunny]

Oh oh!! Can I know more about Jack’s and Chaz’s relationship as well as Jack’s and Jo’s? Cause I’m loving them 💞💞

!!!!!!!!!!! Y E S of COURSE!!! im so glad youre lovin them it makes me so happy to see people who wanna know about my children :’)

jack + chaz: these 2 are zoro and sanji on ACID. absolute dumbasses. at first their arguing was genuine bc they actually had a problem with one another but after all that went away, theyre just IDIOTS. theyre “vicious” rivalry turned into a sibling rivalry. just some bros who would die for each other. u know i love a good brotherhood. their dynamic is wild bc chaz takes A Lot of things seriously, whereas jack just has more of a lighthearted approach towards almost everything (but he still takes things seriously), so a lot of times chaz gets irritated with shit jack says. jack’s sarcasm and jokes bring out the BRUTAL sass in chaz. chaz is a sass lord and now everyone knows it thanks to jack. jack is a LITTLE SHIT with chaz. he knows EVERYTHING that bothers him and will ALWAYS do those things around chaz. for example, chaz’s name is actually charles but he HATES being called charles. what does jack do? *poor posh accent* “oh my dear CHARLES, what are our orders for today, Your Excellency?”. jack also makes really dumb nicknames for chaz. Jack “The Dumbass” Solo’s Saucy Nicknames for ChArLeS:chazzy boyedgelordzazzy chazBIG RED (bc chaz is a tall ass redhead)elder charles (”jack im THREE years older than you” “yeah three years closer to death”)and thats part of the list. it goes on and on. most of the names just randomly flow out of jack’s mouth randomly. ANYWAYS yes these 2 are fucking wild and i love them both dearly. jack serves as a sort of anchor to chaz when they go on missions together. chaz overthinks a lot and he stresses about his blindside so much during battle (chaz has a fake eye n u will learn about that whole thing whenever i share his story with u all) so jack smooths everything over and covers chaz’s blindside at all times and his constant talking helps in situations like these bc hes keeping chaz updated with everything in the situation. :’) my dumbass boys. chaz thinks jack is one of the best souls anyone could ever find. he will protec jackary with his entire life. fun fact jack constantly kinkshames chaz bc chaz uses whips to fight sometimes lmfao obviously that never sits well with chaz. another fun fact jack gets motion sick a lot so chaz always dicks around with that whole concept to irritate jack

jack + jo: GOD i love them too. jo is the mom friend. always pulling apart jack and chaz’s dumbass fights. always scolds their dumbassery. jo is v witty, VERY FUCKING SMART!!!! the entire BRAINS behind the league!!!! and shes also so damn caring. she has looked out for jack since day 1. ever since she found his stupid ass knocked out on the streets. she always reminds him of how stupid he was for just blabbing about the league out in public like nobody’s business bc “now thats how you really get assassinated”. jo is oftentimes the one who will sit down and talk with/comfort jack when hes feeling off. she knows how pained he is by his whole family situation so she always goes out of her way to make him feel loved :’) she also thought chaz was a fucking dumbass for being so cold to jack when he first arrived, so she always talked to chaz about giving jack a chance. she was the one who convinced chaz to start training jack!!!! jack and jo honestly joke about chaz so much. he could be talking to someone else, and jack and jo would be standing behind him, making fun of his word choices or how “professional” he sounds. jack ALWAYS hugs jo. always. another wholesome brotp. jo was like the first person jack allowed himself to trust after his wild times and jo was the first person (other than april) to understand that jack rly craves physical affection. like he just needs to HUG!!! but he will NEVER admit that. but now that he and jo share that knowledge he’ll just walk up to her and hug her and rest his chin on top of her head. it’s so fucking CUTE bc hes significantly taller than her so picturing this makes me emo. other times she’ll be talking to other people in the league and he’ll come up behind her and hug her and mumble incoherently about how he hasnt slept in DAYS. get me a friendship like jo n jack. jack does joke around with her, but not on the same level as he does with chaz. his go-to joke for her is along the lines of “jo you cant be talking to these guys, you know your husband charles will really throw a fit”. he just always talks about how jo and chaz should be married. “JORDAN YOUR HUSBANDO IS CALLING YOU” he calls them mom & dad. jack always wants to protect jo on missions but shes a beast and he knows she doesnt necessarily need protection but he still lingers around her like a guard dog

the relationship between these 3 legends is so important to me i have SO many fics with just these 3 doin their thang :’) thank u for this ask i could go on about their relationship but i dont want to write a whole entire novel at 11AM 

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 11- “we will see if anyone comes out of the saloon anytime soon”-Lily

I am literally so shook LOL, I don't know what just happened but...  Dan used his idol on me and I wish he would have stayed because comp queen... I am not.  I KNOW I am going to be the next to go if I don't win the next immunity challenge and I just don't know which of these fakes to put my trust in. I HONESTLY went back to Landen and Lily and intend to keep it that way because I don't know what kind of fuckery just happened with everyone else.   AND CHIPS IF YOU WROTE MY NAME DOWN AFTER WE PROMISED NOT TO WRITE EACH OTHERS NAMES....  jk LOL.  I went from like sobbing last week to laughing this week, I am a MESS. 

3 minutes later

TOUCHY SUBJECTS!! This is going to be my comp to win because I have a method with this one that NEVER fails me when I use it.  To do it I just have to be INSANELY honest and then just get into the head of everyone else.  I write everyone's name down that is still in the game and I figure out what each person would say for each question and then I tally it up!   LOOK at me being all cocky and confident about it, watch me lose now, LOL.

1 hour later

I really hope I win this challenge so I won't join Owen and Dan in the jury anytime soon.  This one is another one that I feel like Jules will do really good on, so there is that.  She, Landen and Lily are the ONLY ones that have talked to me after tribal.   Also did I mentioned I left the alliance chat I made with Landen and Lily then made a new one, LOL.  I promise I'm only this crazy when I play Survivor, I have no chill, I'm either dead and float to the end or I'm chaotic and jump from person to person and burn bridges and play BADLY like a crazy person.

when two idols get played and you accidentally send out a frenemy lmaaaaoo ily Dan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOcx0U-XVpA  

ok now on to the show

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j3uV5Zc49fbFH4xLK-L0JQX82xsiA1dq/view?usp=sharing

dear diary, what the FUCK! i disassociate for one (1) day and everything goes bonkers.. all i can say is that i'm glad landen trusts me so much because whew.. what a messy man. but i love everything about him.. CFHGVJBKN no but for realsies this vote was CRAZY. but one of the biggest threats in this game.. at least to me just got out SOOO. i am thriving. i honestly think i'm genuinely in a really good position in this game because voting for ruthie last round secures my trust with so many people in this game.. aka autumn, lily AND while landen already trusts me so much <3 im even in more good graces with him by keeping in someone so close to him even though im still hmmm. on how close him and lily are. it's scary but.. i know he holds me dearly to him too so boom? UM! i don't know. working with jules and kevin is reassuring too.. chips and i are tight always.. the only people i don't talk to are joanna and ruthie but i don't think that will affect me in an matter. so. smiles.

HA!!! I may have had the most OTT confessionals ever last round but look who gets the last laugh?? LANDEN GETS THE LAST LAUGH! Because I was RIGHT. I knew that something was going on and something mysterious was being planned, I was utterly confused as to why this shit was happening around me, and I knew these people were off. I said They are PLAYING ME and why do I not know what's going on, there's something shady happening... And yes there was. I have to thank Kevin for making the dumbest move he could possibly make, which is to tell me and Lily. Sorry Kevin but you fucked me over twice and I'm not good with that, I'm not okay with his double dealing anymore! :) He was playing the middle and he got caught and If I want to make sure that Lily and myself continue to get through votes... That's the card I have to play. Last night I was working overtime as hard as possible to convince Chips and Autumn that they need to split the votes onto Ruthie and Dan, and to do that I was throwing Ruthie and Kevin under the bus. Oooops! Then they made it super easy by telling me the vote was on Lily which gave me the ammunition to flip things on Ruthie. Kevin might think it was just for that round, but I'm so glad, because this vote finally put me in a position of a tiny bit of power, I think. I'm still not like, RUNNING things, but I got an alliance of 5 and I think we really do have motivation to stick together, at least for now, and take Kevin and Ruthie OUT of this game. If I can just do that, that sets me up really well for the final stages of this game. I have to take out the double agents, get rid of the double dealing, set up this vote CLEAR, because I don't have an idol for protection anymore. Speaking of which... Yes I guess you could consider that a waste, but it wasn't like Lily got NO votes. I knew she would be getting 2 for sure, and I only knew for sure that Dan was getting 1. I was not going to risk Lily's life on the fluke possibility that there would be 2 or 3 Dan votes or that people would revote out Dan over Lily. No way. Lily is not only a huge shield for me in this game because of her social game, connections, and strategic prowess (she'd be more threatening than me in any FTC i think which makes people want to go for her instead of me), but she's someone who's ALWAYS going to have my back in this game. That is extremely powerful, I don't know if most people realize how powerful it is for someone to always have your back and be giving you information, that kind of relationship is necessary in Survivor and it always gives a type of power that could help me go on to win this game. And honestly, the more people think I'm playing FOR lily and that they shouldn't respect my game bc a lot of it is in the name of helping her and i BOTH get through things, they're wrong, but the better they think that bc that just helps make me seem a little less threatening and a little more like the ideal Buddy to take into Final Tribal Council! Where I hopefully have the story and the moves to wreck any opponent sans Autumn, Jules, Kevin, maaaaybe juls who all obviously cannot be allowed to make it there. :P I feel MUCH better about my spot in the game now. MARSHMALLOW MOVES BABY

INCH RESTING that only Landen, Lily and Jules have talked to me one on one since last night.  They are the ones that I was most wary of last round but I rely a lot on the of the social aspect of this game and if these people are too scared to talk to me after voting for me I'm not going to feel bad if I vote for them, haha.   I really have a good feeling about this challenge and I am once again praying to the survivor gods that I manage to pull out a win.  I NEED this.

I hate touchy subjects, I have never won it. Also last vote was a mess, two idols were played and that is insane. I was added really late to this new alliance chat and like okay cool, but I know I'm on the bottom of that alliance and they are trying to tell me that kevin is a snake but i trust kevin and like i can't go against that alliance because they are majority and tbh i'm not 100% sure who is all IN that alliance, they just told me to vote ruthie and i did and then she didn't even go home. i have voted for ruthie twice now and ruthie has gone home zero times, i'm worried she is going to come for me, but i've just been trying to vote with majority my guys

The anxiety I feel before immunity results is UNREAL in this game, haha. I have a really strong feeling that I won this one... and I am usually wrong when I start thinking that but I just HOPE that I did, I need this to squeak by.   I'm not really sure what I am going to do going forward, I feel like if I win this round I can either a) Cause a lot of ruckus and spill everyones tea when they finally decide to talk game with me or b) Have complete loyalty to Landen and Lily and just do whatever the heck they want to do to show that I AM loyal. I swear, every time I see I have a new Skype notification I refresh the blog to see if it is the results... and no luck.  Yet. Okay the people in the Atomic VL really need to stop so I will stop getting notifications, LOL. HARDLY ANYONE talks in this game right before results so I just have to deal with my anxiety over the results right here in my confessional. I am also searching and I'm mad at myself for remembering to search so late bc I doubt there will be time for me to look right before tribal tomorrow. I think?? That I might be onto something.  At the three broomsticks you can ask for drinks but there was an option to get a room and I'm HOPING that if I do that I will get one of those passes where I get to skedaddle before tribal.  I mean, it makes sense to me but it is probably going to be NOTHING. And it was nothing and I also DID NOT win immunity, grrr.  LOL.  I was actually way off and I can't wait to see what everyone said for everything. OKAY at least I got the one about me being the biggest liar right.

I'm not sure if i'm making moves or if my seeds are planting... but autumn has more social ties in this game than i do right now... and landen is playing a fantastic game from what i can tell. that's dangerous to keep around. i think he has a real shot at winning. and i don't want to be a goat. but every time i have had an agenda i have fought for it, just since merge hit, everyone who has been targeted i didn't care if they went. no agenda, no feisty joanna. but i'm creating an agenda... and i think landen might be my target... sorry b, just i want me to win this thing more than i want you to but... i also think that kevin is doing wonderfully. if i have any chance at this thing, which maybe i don't, landen and kevin both need to go.

I am fine with every touchy subjects answer I got... for the MOST part. Wouldn't bring home to your family? That's fine, I'm loud, aggressive, in your face with my opinions, boldly passionate, etc etc. They had to choose someone and I totally understand why they would pick me for that. Thinks he's running the game, I mean, I think it's obvious I DON'T think that, by how paranoid and messy I was scrambling the last couple votes, but I also know I come off as very pretentious and arrogant with having information, and have been on the right side of every vote, so I understand that people would put that about me. Loudest, DUH! Host favorite and juiciest confessionals I DEFINITELY don't agree with lol, I can be very boring and rambly, and I know yall dont like me TOO much. But Biggest villain... BIGGEST VILLAIN?!?! ARE YOU FOR REAL? ARE YOU FOR REAL, GIRL, ARE WE FOR REAL?? SOMEONE LIED TO HER SEVERAL TIMES. WHERE was the villainous behavior. WHERE WAS IT?!?!? I am one of the ONLY people in this game who has sold almost NOBODY out and who has almost NEVER lied. I sold ONE person out, and that was Ruthie. Who, might I remind you, BETRAYED HUFFLEPUFF before I did that, and NEVER established a 1-on-1 alliance with me, EVER, or even a smaller alliance with me. So it was hardly even a betrayal, especially as I was fighting to SURVIVE sdkfdskf. I played an IDOL for my closest ally, I spiraled as hard as possible to change the votes for every ally who was in serious danger, and I consistently did everything I can to do the right thing in this game instead of being a cutthroat mastermind like SOME PEOPLE (Jules, Kevin, im looking at you assholes!) AND SOMEHOW IM THE VILLAIN!??! I just... LOL. Girl where? Where am I the villain of the season? I'm definitely no OTTP hero, that's Lily, but as her designated sidekick I should at least be MORM! I mean, come on! As far as Kevin winning immunity and a bunch of other good superlatives, sigh. It's very questionable and makes me sketched the hell out. I wanna push on Jules but I feel like I'm gonna have to just push on Ruthie again, and I'm pretty sure that now that I'm without the idol I'll be going home bc of the stunt I pulled last time, soooo... Yeeeah.  That's that. I'll definitely push what I can tmrw tho, but for the most part I'm just gonna focus on school and my new cat collecting game, the game has been rly cute though so far and hopefully I find some way to stay.

look at me... number crunching like i can do math

I'm pretty sure that if Dan knew I just told Landen and Lily about the power he sent me- the anonymous note thing- he would break into hogwarts to yell at me.  I told them merely to establish a trust with them again because staying tight with them may be my only shot to actually make it to the end.

I'm so furious Kevin won immunity, because I had the perfect shot to go for him. I'm so angry. I'm so UPSET. I'm like.... WHEW i'm mad. It's so exhausting feeling like you're on the bottom every, single, round, no matter what happens, no matter how much you do to prove your loyalty and try to find an in with people, all it does is continually push you down even worse. I get ignored all day then I get called pushy and paranoid for asking why it's happening and trying to come up with a plan, then to make it worse I get labelled as "Villain of the Season". Like.... wtf? I guess I'm a villain for daring to try and survive and protect Lily, that makes me soooo evil and such a big bad, I guess I'm a villain for selling out Ruthie who never ever made an alliance with me and turned on me first, I guess I'm a villain for turning on Kevin after he consistently lies to me all day and plays the middle just to put me on the bottom, like, that's not a real ally. A real ally does whatever they can to do what is in the best interest of themselves AND their ally. They consider what's good for eachother. Kevin and others have proven to me at basically every single turn that they just consider me an extra vote, and, let's make this clear, an extra vote they don't even like. They use me because they know I'm a loyal player, and when they backstab me they get angry that I retaliate and do what I can to further my own position. It's just like extremely mind boggling and these are the type of mind games that wear me out so much because this game just psychologically is like brutal. It wears me down a lot and I'm just trying to keep a clear head about all this and find some way to stay afloat in the game and keep bearing a smile but it's honestly really really hard and at this point I don't know how much energy I have left to keep giving every tribal 150% at the last 30 minutes just to barely survive. Especially without an idol, like i'm just.. sigh. It's a lot but I'm going to keep giving it everything i have, because if there's one thing I don't know how to do, it's give up or lay down, even when all signs point to just settling and being quiet. It's not in my blood and I gotta play this game like me even if it makes me lose. A win is not worth compromising myself for, I'll never feel good about a victory that I feel like I abandoned myself to earn. 

And here we are at a stand still again. I feel like I’m in one of those old westerns but I’m out there with my gun in my holster ready to go and everybody else is at the saloon. Tumbleweeds go by and I’m like hello? Anybody there? Anyway... Landen is losing it. I’m here trying to keep hope and keeping my fingers crossed that my chills vibes get through on this holiday. So the past two tribals, despite being some of the most stressful of my whole life, have gone my way somehow. And I don’t think I’m appearing as too big of a threat at this point but what am I kidding I got votes last time. I have two alliances going which is more than I usually have. I continue to have the desire to stay hufflepuff strong despite voting for ruthie on the last vote. I also have an alliance with landen, Joanna, autumn, and chips. It’s an interesting group to say the least and I can’t say I fully trust the group. Autumn came forward as voting for dan at the last one and while I appreciate the honesty it does continue to make me weary of Autumn. I also think Dan was the one to start a vote on me and he may have been getting some traction on it but it fizzled. I hope that someone else doesn’t start to catch on to how suave I am and vote me out. I’d like to at least make it to my lucky 7 spot at this point!   This vote I think the best outcome would be Jules going. I have the least amount of strategic conversation with her so that would be ideal at this point. If it’s ruthie...I don’t want to vote her but I can’t risk getting myself voted out defending her. Shout out to you Ruthie. Best of luck. And we will see if anyone comes out of the saloon anytime soon...

can't believe the entire old hufflepuff tribe (minus Max) is back in an alliance together again.  I can't trust any of them as far as I can throw them but I love it. In other news, someone started a rumor that Chips told me to vote for Jules?? and he DID NOT.  But he is also not talking to me right now anymore.  I don't want to vote Jules, I am NOT voting Jules.  Jules also said she is not voting me but idk that I can trust it or not.  NO ONE is talking game right now besides me, Kevin, Lily and Landen.  Chips was talking to me earlier and so were Juls and Jules but none of them really knew a name and this is just a MESS.   I'm just trying not to get into any drama because I'm already branded as the biggest liar on the tribe when there are some people around here that have lied A LOT more than I have!! US TALKING GAME AND LILY RANDOMLY POPPING IN AFTER BEING MIA FOR AWHILE IN WITH- HAHAHAHAH okay edited, I cannot say what she said but I AM DEAD.. it includes the party emoji. I AM DEAD LOL, oh my god. I can't stop laughing. ANYWAY. So, Autumn says that the vote was Jules and now it is Chips??  SO BOTH SIDES ARE VOTING THE SAME? I'm so shook right now but this is good news!  I feel bad because Chips and I DID have a really good conversation today but if he was the one that just stirred all this shit up he needs to go.  I need a moment of peace! 

well. people be lyin to me. so. anyways. im tired. THESE PPL BE DOIN!!!!! THE MOST!!!!

i’m betraying the alliance i came into merge with while trying to keep it together. how does one convince someone to vote with them while pretending they don’t know anything? 

TOO MUCH INFO TOO LITTLE TIME ILL DO ANOTHER ONE AFTER TRIBAL

Tribal has been wild this round. Kevin won the challenge so he's immune. The new alliance I'm in wants to vote Jules because they are a powerhouse in all three categories - social, strategic, and challenges. Anyway, I told Jules I would tell them if I ever heard their name. I wanted to stick to that so I told them. I guess that was a mistake because they asked who from and I was already told they were working closely with Kevin so I just said Kevin. And then really shook them and I think they were shocked because Kevin is their final 2 (most likely) - anyway I didn't know what to say when they asked "From him?" because he never talks game with me. EVER. Luckily I got busy with life so I didn't have to respond... when I get back to my computer though apparently Jules has started asking why their name is being said to Landen and Lily and a conversation that I have had with Ruthie makes them suspicious that I am also telling Ruthie so the "loose lips sink ships" comes into play. Anyway, I definitely didn't actually say anything to Ruthie at all so I put that fire out. Then I try to tiptoe around the fact that I told Jules and Landen comes to the conclusion that Ruthie MUST be close with them if Jules knows because Juls might have talked to Ruthie about the vote. In the meantime our alliance comes up with a plan to throw me under the bus to Jules as well as for me to do the opposite to either Ruthie or Landen. For fear of an idol. All this drama happens and then I have to tell Jules that Kevin didn't say it and that someone else told me that Kevin had said it and they ask who... and then follow it up by telling me that Landen has been throwing me under the bus saying I'm lying and that they need to vote me. I guess our plan has started. I let Jules know that it was Landen who wanted to vote them. And then Jules comes to the conclusion that Landen is the common factor in these stories and asks if I want to vote for him. I agree because he has been trying to have me murdered and voted out all while at the same time planning to vote for Jules anyway. This plan is so eccentric and weird and nothing like I have ever done on Survivor. I felt so bad when I didn't tell Jules that they were being targeted for the vote but did not want to open this can of worms. Kind of hoping I get blindsided so I don't have to live with the guilt. But then also sort of hoping it works just because it is such a cool and fun thing we have done.