#im so fucken cold

[imchronicallydepressed]

Update: I'm losing the lights in my car and I'm fucken freezing.

$85 to get towed to a parking lot less then a mile away. I'm gonna scream

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?

[lynxalon]

ive set a monday alarm to go to the doctor because im so fucking depressed i cant imagine anything worthwhile about tomorrow so. wish me luck babes im gonna try really hard to go at all, for a referral to a new psyche+maybe therapist i desperately need meds

[petorahs]

personal but there comes to a point in my shipping where if i like it for long enough i come up with an otp tag for it and theres no set time for this but i really cant wait to know what my mind comes up with for shuake.

[oniongarlic]

The furnace used to turn on randomly and every time id get the most insane boost of dopamine from getting to experience warmth again. And to think, someday soon, possibly even tomorrow, ill return to the blissful paradise that is an adequately heated house.

[wabblebees]

the universe is mean as hell but at least its fucking funny

(cw for christian end-times conversion bullshit under the readmore)

[v1x3n]

Im begging for a Ghost x reader Sex pollen (dubcon/ fuck or die) where only reader gets the pollen but ghost tries to get her to deal with it herself because he’s so in love and he knew having sex with her (finally) would change everything. Please make ghost be really down for her 🤍🤍🤍

ᯓᡣ𐭩 - EYE CONTACT

simon 'ghost' riley x reader ⸝⸝ navigation ୨୧ tags : smut

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : heat overwhelmes you during a missiom, a weird pollen had contact with you creating a painful throb between your legs, ghost , who was with you, luckily can be able to help you through it. despite his overbearing feelings for you.

"how the fuck am i ment to help?" ghost, your teammate spits out at you. his voice echoing around the bare room you two were in. the 'pollen' had made contact with you, meaning you were stuck in this mess alone. the pain from it could just swell you up, it was by far the worst pain you had experienced yet, you were throbbing to the point your clit could fall off. a heat hung over your eyes as yourhead is fill with just a haze.

you whine, or groan. somewhere in between. "help yourself, ill go guard the door or something.." the last part he mumbles, as if he was hesitant about something.

the tears fall down your face silently. the streaks dirty with the grime of the war on your face. you moan out, the throbbing sensation that heats your cunt so sore that you wish you could just rip it off. your clit swollen and needy. "simon- its- jus please! it hurts!"

"cant you just.. i dunno!"

he gazes over at you and your very clearly frustrated face, "i cant help, i cant." you whine as a response as your fingers slip down into your panties. trying to release the pain and the throbbing. "whyy nott"

quick simon, think of an excuse. a one that isnt the real reason for why you, a man fucking heavily inlove with you, fuck you because youre in so much pain bc of a drug? hes so fucking stupid! he thinks to himself as he can hear your whiney grunts and groans as you try to get yourself off.

"uh b- because we are teammates!"

after a while of begging, he had finally gave up. you were layed down on the jard door, the cold surface making your back arch to try to get away from it, ghosts face blushes at you whining and your back arching. he was nervous as he stood below you, slowly letting himself climb ontop of you. your pants were already down, and he could see the shine from how wet you are leakinh through your white panties. the wetness surely would stain but thats not a thing running through your mind as ghost grunts softly.

he steadily undoes his pants, shoveling them down to make it easier to get his cock out. the loud, heavy breathing coming off of both of you increase as you glance down at his cock which sprung out of his boxers. his cock was almost scary, it was gurthy and big. it definitely wouldny fit but atleast you could try? "hurry, si" you whimper, your head flopped back, smacking it off the cold floor.

"im- im trying" his voice shaky despite his cold personality. his face flushed a deep pink when your hands brought down to your panties, pushing them aside and showing off your glistening cunt. "fucken hell" he mutters under his breath.

this was it. this was when he finally knew. he groaned at the thought of being inlove eith you. deep inside he knew he was, but never would admit it.

୨୧ taglist: @xxshadowbabexx // @wonyoungloversblog // @ambitiousabi4288 // @royaltysuite // @tiredlittle-wallflower // @nic-stars // @snowyaddiction // @strawberrychita // @namgification // @pinkslaystation // @hilmiponken

comment to join main taglist!

[blankwashed]

TOJI FUSHIGURO - SLUTTIN’ IN THE CAFE

“mmm yes cling on to me baby, you’re so fucking wet for me y’know?” he tightens his grip around your neck. “ma fucken’ slut aren’t ya? drippin’ wet before the store closes, before daddy can feast on ya….”

your only reply was to yell moan at the pleasure your boyfriend was giving you. his large hands were snaking up your shirt, cold hands touching your hot flesh making you shriek. you needed him, you needed his thick cock sliding down your throat as you gasp for more.

“s-so cold…” you mumbled, just a whisper to him. toji smirked at how fucked up you were at this point. breathless, dripping and shameless. the shutters to the cafe weren’t brought down yet, giving a possibility to whoever would walk pass the store late at night.

“ya like it don’t cha? hmm?” he peppered kisses on your neck to your sternum. “wanna be a little public swinger, huh?”

you were lost for words, eyes and mouth drooling with tears and saliva. all you could do was to nod, unsure of what he would do next. looking into his green alluring eyes that hinted on years of experience and wisdom. they were telling you a story that only you could fulfil.

toji’s smirk darkened and licked his lips sensually, “but all of this..” he referred to your clothed body, “is mine. no one else gets to see what you have beneath your clothes other than me, doll.”

he didn’t like how you were silent and gave your ponytail a tug, making you yelp. “c’mon doll, you can do better than that can’t you? show daddy how he’s making ya feel,” toji continues as his face was centimetres away from yours. your heart was beating so fast as if it was on a race track and you were sweating with drops trickling from your forehead.

you tried to unleash yourself from his grasp, only inches away from him. as each button was removed, you noticed his breath was getting heavier and louder, as if he was a jaguar ready to pounce on its prey…before he stopped you.

“leave ya apron on, doll.”

confused, you followed his orders, stripping yourself naked except for the pink frilly hello kitty apron.

“…like this, daddy?” you asked, timidly but also clearly flustered. toji nodded and lifted your chin up with his hand, “perfect, kitten.” he said.

you suddenly were anxious, worried that security or the boss of the cafe were to step in unannounced. your eyebrows furrowed and you bit your lip while looking back and forth from the windows to toji.

he noticed your worry but only gave out a chuckle, “doll, im not going to close the doors tonight. because….you’ve been a bad, bad girl..”. you were confused, bad? what did you do today? all you did was serve drinks and cakes to the customers.

“b-but daddy, i didn’t do anything!” you tried to voice out but all that came out was a squeak. your unoccupied hands were playing with the frills of your apron.

“oh where should i start, doll?” he brought his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to him, ass facing his cock. he ground his hard cock against your dripping hole, making you whimper. “you were wearing a low-cut shirt today, weren’t cha? were you trying to tease me or to get me angry huh doll?” he growled into your ear.

it was true, you did wear the low-cut tee to tease him but you didn’t know this was what you were going to get. “s-sorry daddy! n-no more, i wont do it anymore i promise! i’ve learnt my lesson, please dadd-!” you cried out as loud as you could. as you were whimpering, toji gave your round ass a loud smack.

“AH!” your tears flowing even more at the impact of his hand.

“this has happened to you before my sweet doll, haven’t you learnt your lesson yet? or are ya trynna get daddy angry again?” he leans closer to your face after turning you around. gripping your face with his hands, you were able to see each detail of his muscular face.

you knew that the only way you were able to make him forget about your misbehaviour was to suck his cock. but..with the windows and door unlocked?

it doesn’t matter to you anymore whether anyone saw your public display of sex. if you don’t please daddy, he’s going to ruin you. kneeling down on nothing else other than the cafe’s floors, you brought down his jogger pants, always a choice for toji who has a thicc dick. its loose enough to hide his dick when he’s hard.

“fuckin’ slut…only thing you wanna do is suck me off, don’t you? such a fuckin’ slut, should tie you to my dick next time…” this wasn’t his protest but it made you salivate more. toji brought his hands to grasp your hair into a pony tail again, “girl, i think you’ve got to bring your hair up more next time..its going to make everything easier y’know?”

nodding, you started to take inches of him into your throat. his cock was hitting the back of your throat causing you to gag and make sounds that were music to his ears. “faster, bitch. and use ya hands..do i have to teach ya everythin’ again?” he mocked you while you were a slobbering mess, eyelash fallen to god knows where.

your mind only had past memories of toji cumming right on your pussy, your stomach, your face, your bed, you name it. it was fuel for you to help him teach his peak. on the other hand, you felt so dirty having his rough hands around your private parts. his tongue drooled on the pink nub of your pussy.

he’s nose deep into your soft pussy folds. “oh daddy, when have you not made me feel good?” you let out a sigh while letting his cock out of your mouth. you were unruly at this point, with only one goal in your mind, to make him cum all over your face.

toji was having his hands in your hair, bringing your face closer to his torso. the veins of his cock, bulging, ready to burst at any time. the cold air from the air-conditioning hitting your perky nipples, making them irresistible to toji.

“mmm daddy, cum already…my mouth’s tired..” you pouted, mouth away from his dick but your hands still jacking him off.

“ya’ sure? want me to cum already, dirty slut? c’mere” toji aligned himself, millimeters away your ass. he also knows how much you love it when he smacks your ass, he gropes and places his fingers through your hole. as he pummeled his cock deep into you, you let out throat screams of “ow!” and “ahh!”s.

“too much fo’yah, kitten? gotten so tight..stranglin' daddy's cock” he smirked and continue drilling till you became limp in his hands.

it was too much for you, the public sex, his large hands touching your skin. “fuck daddy…i’m coming, please please let me cum daddy!” you shouted while trying to grip onto any of his flesh in your reach. “same here, doll. we come at the same time mmkay?” he sped his hips up and grabs plush of your breast in his hands. the pain brought you to an overdrive, making you reach your climax almost immediately.

“floor, slut. lemme cum on your face, what a dirty slut…cumin’ before me huh..” he pushed you down into a sitting position and aimed his cock in front of your face. your feeble hands were trying to assist him but were whacked away by him. his eyes were closed and breathing was ragged when he splurged over your tiny face.

with your eyes closed, you licked your lips for the taste of his cum. toji chuckled, “c’mon. im sure the security guards are patrolling soon. and remember, your body is only mine.”

i couldn’t sleep i needed to finish this. this was a fantasy of mine when i was working in a cafe as a waitress fr :3 sometimes it got so boring with the lack of customers, my mind just goes places.

[hobgobbin]

My power has been out for 2 days and everything in my freezer and fridge either has gone or is going bad

I can't edit the post bc my data is super spotty but comms are OPEN bc im gonna need money to replace all my food when I get power back which tbh could be anywhere from when I wake up tomorrow to sometime around Christmas according to some news sources

If you're interested pls dm me or email me at draemoryn@gmail.com !!

Pls note I won't be able to start any comms until power is back bc I can't use my laptop unless it's plugged in

✨ Commission Queue ✨ More Art Examples ✨ DM Me to claim a slot !

✅ Will Do: ✅ Humanoid, Anthro, Beasts and Creatures, OC/Canon & Self Ship, Blood/Gore, NSFW ❌ Wont Do: ❌ Anything Hateful, Incest/Adult/Minor ships/nasty shit like that, Ferals, Mecha, Genshin Impact (OCs are a maybe), Many Hardcode Kinks ✨ I may decline any commission due to personal discomfort ✨ Extra charges may be added for complexity of characters

CURRENT STATUS: CLOSED

[probably-ren]

"Do i wanna know, if this feelin' goes both ways?"

Schlatt x enemy!gn! Reader

It was no understatement to say that you and schlatt absolutely hated eachother. There wasn't exactly even a reason for it, you both just resented the other. It was damn near impossible to get both of you at a party together despite your mutual friends.

Somehow, ted had managed to.

The barbie loving freak had actually managed to get you both to his party after begging you practically daily. Ted was best friends with both of you and all he wanted was for you to get along, though he knew it was damn-near impossible.

So, what would be the first thing schlatt would do when he gets to the party? Get wasted of course.

He had been in the bathroom for a while and since you were still sober, ted had sent you to check on him. After much complaining, you gave in and went to the bathroom.

After waiting a bit and calling for him, you hesitantly open the unlocked door, not before making a crude comment for him to put his dick away.

Inside, you see him knelt over the toilet throwing up all the liquor he had drank. You sigh and step closer, grumbling a quiet "dumbass." as you hold his hair back, the overgrown locks getting in the way.

He groans when he finally finishes and leans back, finally looking to see who helped him and glaring when he sees you.

"I didn' need your help." he huffs, slurring his words.

"Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that." you roll your eyes "look, I'm only helping cause ted forced me to."

"Well, im forcing you to get the fuck out" he huffs.

"No can do, buddy. Teds gonna have my head on a stick if i leave without you." you argue, glaring down at the still drunk man.

You knew from his drunk driving streams that he had a decently high alcohol tolerance, so for him to be this drunk you wouldn't doubt if he downed a full bottle somehow. Ted bought some pretty fancy whiskey for this party anyway.

He narrows his eyes at you and huffs, grumbling something under his breath and practically pouting.

"What are you? 5?" you snicker and sigh "okay, get up, you're gonna get a nice cold glass of water." you sigh and help the drunken man up.

"I dont want water" he practically whines, stumbling and leaning against you, almost pulling both of you to the floor. You ignore him and help him walk out of the bathroom, flipping ted off when you see him smirk at you before continuing towards the kitchen, most of the people from the party had already left, leaving the house relatively empty.

"Too bad" you huff, forcing him to sit in one of the chairs before moving to get a glass from the cabinet, getting some water in it and handing it to him "drink." you practically demand.

He glares at you but relents and drinks the water, in no state to argue with you right now. Ted eventually makes his way to the kitchen and chuckles at the scene.

"So, how are my favorite people doing?"

You glare at him silently, not answering as schlatt answers for you. "You left me with them!" he slurs "they're such a-..a fucken..Bitch" he stumbles over his words.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not-"

"Okay kids, settle down." ted cuts your arguing off playfully, snickering as schlatt puts his hands up in defeat "idiots, both of you" he chuckles.

"You both are staying the night, there's no way im trusting you to drive him home without dropping him off in some lake and leaving." ted says finally, crossing his arms.

"Why cant i just drive myself home?" you complain "you only have one guest room" you add with a huff

"Call it some forced bonding time, you both need to get along anyway." ted shrugs "tuckers taking the couch, his ride ditched him and hes plastered." ted adds.

You groan and roll your eyes, accepting your fate as you grab schlatts arm, practically pulling him off the chair and making a suprised yelp as he stumbles, almost pulling you both to the ground.

"Need some help?" ted smirks.

"Im perfectly capable" you decline sassily, helping schlatt to the guest bedroom "night ted! Night tucker!" you call out half-heartedly, pulling schlatt into the room and shutting the door.

Schlatt yawns and pulls away from you, taking off his shirt, too tired and drunk to care that you are still in the room. You blush and look away, grumbling as you slip off your shoes "choose a side, i dont care which" you huff.

Wordlessly, schlatt nods and practically collapses into the bed, the soft sheets crumbling under him. He doesn't even bother to get under the covers, curling up tiredly.

Hesitantly, you slip into the bed beside him, laying on the edge to stay as far away from the man as possible. Eventually, you hear him get under the covers and scoot closer to you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his bare chest, grumbling something about being cold.

Your face heats up but you cant bring yourself to move away from him. You feel as he burrows himself into your neck, his warm breath brushing against the sensitive skin. You shudder slightly and scoot closer to him, feeling the man behind you grip you tighter, his arm snug around your waist. You could smell a mix of whiskey and expensive cologne, the smell practically intoxicating.

Eventually, you drift off to sleep, your face buried in his chest and his arm wrapped around your waist.

He wakes up first the next morning, his head pounding as the hangover sets in. He groans and buries his face more into your neck before realizing what hes doing and immediately retracting from you, his face turning pink as he scoots away.

"What the fuck?" he grunts quietly, trying not to wake you up or make his head hurt worse. He looks around and notices some ibuprofen and water on the nightstand. "Ted must've came in already" he mumbles, grabbing it quickly and downing it.

He sighs and looks back at your peaceful state, reaching out and brushing some hair behind your ear as he examines your face, the way your lips part gently, the way your nose twitches every little bit. He blushes and looks away "dammit." he whispers with a sigh.

You whine tiredly and begin to wake up, making him jolt and pull away from you more, only just now noticing how close he had gotten.

"Schlatt?" you murmur sleepily, tiredly opening your eyes and looking at him.

He huffs. "What?" he scoffs "sleeping beauty finally decide to wake up?"

You glare "fuck off." you grumble, sitting up and slowly getting out of bed. Causing him to do the same, silently missing your warmth.

"What did i do?" he huffs, standing up and coming closer, still shirtless with his hair a mess.

"I dont know, maybe get shitfaced and make me coddle you like a damn toddler." you scoff and cross your arms, walking to the door, about to leave the bedroom.

"Hey- no-" he grunts, coming closer and holding the door handle shut. "Who said you can fuckin' talk to me like that?" he asks angrily, glaring down at you.

"I did, what are you gonna do about it huh?" you huff, expecting a witty response.

You didn't expect him to tilt your chin to look at him, leaning in close, his lips inches away from yours but not touching.

"There are so many things i could do about it." he whispers breathily, not even he was expecting to respond that way, making him get a bit flustered. Quickly, he pulls away and lets go of you and the door.

"I uh- sorry-" he says, looking away.

You stare at him, frozen and flustered. "What was that?" you question, looking at him.

"Shit- i dont know" he laughs nervously, crossing his arms and not meeting your eyes.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" you ask, tapping your foot anxiously.

"I think-" he cuts himself off "im not sure." he mumbles "im supposed to hate you- i dont even know why i hate you" he begins "but.. I dont really hate you?" he sighs.

You step closer and look at him. "Im not sure i really hate you either.. Last night-" you sigh "felt.. Right." you finish hesitantly.

He gently tilts your chin to look at him again, his eyes darting to your lips, silently asking for permission, once he sees you nod he presses your lips to his.

You quickly melt into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck as you feel his (surprisingly) soft lips against yours. His hands rest on your hips gently as the kiss continues. Slowly he pulls away.

"I think.. I love you." he mumbles

"I love you too.." you answer, gently kissing him again.

Woo! Second fic done. Im not great at structuring things and making it so they dont go from hating eachother to loving eachother too quick. I hope this was a decent attempt at it though. Thank you guys so much for all the love, i appreciate it so much!!

[yanderu-deredere]

omg im so into the werewolf yanderes loool im sorryyy they're all so fucken funny and cute! my fav so far is leonard! id let him boss me into fucking him literally any day of the week FOR SURE

a/n: YOU'RE TOO NICE LOL don't let leonard boss you around! if you give him an inch, he'll take the whole six inches! (get it LOL read the fic if you dont get it lmao)

warning: reader has male parts and pronouns, leonard doms from the bottom, reader gets ridden a little, dubious consent

leonard lowell ★ profile

"C'mon, put more effort into it, fuck." Leonard finally just pushes his ass into your hips, tired of you taking your time "Fuck me like you mean it!"

You just groaned, pressing your forehead into the middle of his back as you felt his walls strangle your cock "L-Leooo, you've literally sucked all the cum out of meee..."

Instead of accepting that as an answer, Leonard just shoved you away, screaming in frustration like you'd personally done something to offend him.

Which, to him, was a crime punishable by death.

You let yourself fall back into the bed, just relieved to be free of the overstimulation, your aching cock twitching in the cold breeze of the room.

Surprisingly, it was still half erect, valiantly trying to stay up.

Unfortunately, Leonard wasn't heading to the restroom like he usually would after fucking you into the ground (or, more accurately, forcing you to fuck him into the ground).

He was straddling you, his fingers grasping your throbbing cock.

"No, no, no, Leo, please." You tried to plead half-heartedly, your hips involuntarily jerking up as he pumped your dick once, twice before sinking onto your cock.

You both moaned at the same time; you a bit more pathetically than Leonard.

Then, his lips were on yours, tongue wet and kiss messy like always. That was who Leonard was; always taking, always fucking, pushing, never letting anyone's way go but his.

Regrettably, you wouldn't have it any other way.

[asteraegis]

long time no post. im still drawing i just cant be fucked to remember i have a blog.

anyway i be drawin my bnuuy as a child lately. my internet has been down due to the cold and living in the fucken boondocks so heres just photos of my puter screen.

[pulpfanfiction]

ok ok. favorite song. favorite sandwich. favorite type of cold drink. favorite body part NOT sexual. favorite bug. favorite post of yours

what did i do (positive) to deserve this barrage of questions.

felt like vacation by bomb the music industry. but also this is fucking sophies choice

i love an Italian grinder. there's a grinder from a local deli that has olive relish on it that goes crazy. alternative choice is this from a different local place

im an ice water girly. but i love many a cold drink. cold brew. unsweetened iced tea or perhaps an Arnold Palmer. a fucken brewski. can't go wrong with a cold bev.

insane question. tummy

the humble weevil

i don't like any of those fuckin things. probably this one though because i can still see that dream so vividly in my mind. the detail of looking down the scope and it could only zoom up to the end of the barrel still makes me giggly

[gnrbitch]

Summer Break Pt.5- This Night Has Opened My Eyes

Warnings: Profanity, smoking, drug usage, death

Y/n’s outfit (Except for the shoes sorry lads😓 & imagine it with some black stockings if u want)

I didn’t spell check sorry guys!!😭

————

Day 5, 1986

“Hey is it cool if i go to a concert tonight?” Y/n asked Duff, turning to look at him as they sat and watched TV.

“Who’s playing?” He asked looking at his little sister.

“I’m not sure… Fru just invited me” She said furrowing her eyebrows, realize she doesn’t even know who she’s gonna be watching.

“Huh” Duff said “Your going with that Fru kid?”

“Who else? He’s the only person i know here who’s not associated with you” she laughed and nudged him.

Duff rolled his eyes “I don’t know Y/n…”

“Comon please! I’ll tell you if any shit happens” She begged him, she really wanted to go with John, plus she had already agreed!

“I just- Fuck” Duff sighed, remembering what Izzy had told him. “Okay, fine you could go”

“Yes! Thank you thank you thank you!” The girl said, smiling brightly at her brother.

“Im trusting you Y/n” Duff said, narrowing his eyes at Y/n.

“And thank you for doing that, it means a lot” She smiled at him.

Duff felt proud of himself at that moment, returning a smile at the girl looking up at him. But he couldn’t shake the concern of letting Y/n out on the streets of LA. At night to add.

“i’m gonna get ready. Mandy you wanna help me choose something out?” Y/n turned over to look at the blonde girl, who almost jumped out of her seat at that question.

“Oh my god yes yes yes Y/n! Let’s go!” She said getting up, grabbing Y/n’s hand.

Duff laughed at the two girls, surprised that Y/n asked Mandy to help her out, but happy that the two women he loved were spending time together.

“Okay, what are you thinking?” Mandy said, sitting on Slash’s bed.

“I’m not sure, something cute but not too much you know?”

Mandy crossed her legs, “I see, what are you options?”

Y/n looked around her bag, pulling out two options, first a pair of black, more fitted jeans than she usually wears, paired with a off the shoulder- cropped long sleeve. Then a cropped Misfits baby-tee, paired with a black mini skirt.

“I was thinking either of these” she said laying them out on her bed.

Mandy stood up to look at her options, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Okay I love that skirt, but what if you switch this shirt- with this shirt” Mandy said switching the misfits shirt with the black long sleeve.

“God you’re smart, should i try it on?” Y/n said, looking up at her brothers girlfriend.

“Yes! Give me a little fashion show” Mandy laughed as she clapped her hands together, “I could step out while you change” She said, standing straight and looking at Y/n.

“No it’s fine, I’ll just turn around.” Y/n smiled.

Mandy went to go sit back on Slash’s bed while Y/n faced the other way and started to change.

Turning back around, she revealed the outfit to Mandy.

“How does it look?” She asked, smiling.

“You look SOOO GOOD!” Mandy said, huge smile on her face.

“Do i?” Y/n asked, smoothing her hands over her skirt.

“Yes Y/n! But i feel like if you added some stockings it would look even fucken better” Mandy said, looking at Y/n’s bare legs, “Plus it might be a bit windy tonight, so they’ll help you not be so cold” She said, smiling at the girl infront of her.

“I don’t have any stockings”

“It’s okay! I have a million of pairs, you don’t mind if they’re black right?” Mandy said, getting up

“Black is fine” Y/n smiled, it felt good to have a woman in her life that makes her feel good about herself, and not judge her for everything she did.

“Okay i’ll be back!” Mandy said, running out the door.

Y/n laughed to herself, she really started to warm up to Mandy.

“Okay okay i’m back!” Mandy said, out of break and a new pair of stocking in her hands.

“Wow that was fast” Y/n laughed

“I know right, i’m impressed with myself” Mandy laughed along with her, handing her the stockings.

Y/n put them on, turning to look at the dirty mirror that was on the wall, smiling to herself.

“Do you like how it looks?” Mandy smiled at the girl, looking at her through the mirror.

“Fuck yea, thanks for helping me Mandy” Y/n said, turning back to face her.

“Of course! Us girls gotta help each other out!” Mandy said.

“Yea, we do huh” Y/n smiled at her, heart warm & excited for what’s to come later in the night.

“Do you wanna stay in here while I do my hair and makeup?” Y/n asked Mandy

“Hell yes!” Mandy said in a happy tone.

Y/n grabbed her small makeup bag & sat on the floor, in front of the mirror.

“So this Fru kid, do you have a crush on him?” Mandy asked as she watched Y/n put her makeup on.

“Honestly Mandy, i don’t know” Y/n sighed, now really thinking about her feelings towards John.

“Well how do you feel when you’re around him?” She said, small smile on her face.

“Happy, and I don’t know, I get nervous if he looks at me for too long”

Mandy smiled “I think you do have a crush on him”

“Fuck. I think I do too” Y/n said, disappointment in her voice.

“Why so down honey?” Mandy said, sympathetic look on her face.

“I don’t wanna have a crush on Fru” Y/n said, looking down at the mascara in her hands.

“Is it cause you’re gonna leave?”

“Yea, plus I know he really likes me too, and if something happens between us it’s gonna make everything complicated, it’s gonna make it too hard to leave. And i don’t want that to hurt him” Y/n said, voiced lace with anxiety.

“I had a boyfriend back home before I came to California” Mandy said.

“Really? did he come with you?” Y/n asked her, looking at her through the mirror.

Mandy sighed, “No, he didn’t, he couldn’t”

“Why not?”

“Cause he was supporting his family, financially, he was the man of the house, he couldn’t leave them behind.”

“What happened when you left?” Y/n curiously said.

“It hurt me, and him, but I just had to think about all the fun me and him had, everything he taught me.” , “Maybe John was put into you’re life to help you grow as a person.” Mandy said, smiling as she saw Y/n looking at her.

“Finish your makeup Y/n” Mandy laughed

“Okay okay sorry” Y/n said, putting on mascara.

“And the thing is Y/n- don’t worry about what’s gonna happen when you leave, enjoy right now, that’s why we’re living”

“Yea, i guess i’m thinking about it too hard” Y/n sighed as she put her mascara back in her bag.

Adding finial touched to her makeup, she looked over to Mandy, “How do i look?”

“Like a model” Mandy smiled

“Oh you’re boosting my ego Mandy” Y/n shyly said.

“Good! You should act like your the prettiest girl in the room. Always.”

Y/n smiled at Mandy, “Thank you Mandy, you’re the best” she said getting up and hugging her.

“Of course Y/n, I know you’re probably not comfortable talking about this with your brother” Mandy said, hugging Y/n back.

“And don’t worry, this stays between us” Mandy smiled as Y/n let go.

“Thank you”

“Don’t worry about it, but speaking of your brother, I should go make sure he’s alive” Mandy winked at her.

Y/n laughed, “Yea”.

Mandy left and closed the door as Y/n went back into her duffle back and pulled out another white pair of long socks, putting them over her stockings, she scrunched them up and put on her trusty black & white adidas (superstars).

Looking at the broken clock, she thought she should probably leave now. Grabbing the same one shoulder bag as yesterday, she put in her cigarettes & lighter.

Y/n walked out the room to find everyone there, and an unfamiliar face.

“I’m leaving now Duff” Y/n said quietly, moving over next to her brother.

“Y/n! Where are you going?” Steven said whistling at her.

Y/n rolled her eyes “None of your business Stevie”

“Don’t you think you’re gonna be cold?” Duff asked Y/n.

“Hopefully not” Y/n smiled at her brother.

“Who’s your friend” Y/n said nodding her head over the boy who looked like he did not belong there.

“Marc” They boy, Marc said.

“I’m Y/n” Y/n smiled, “Okay we’ll im gonna go, i’ll see you later alright?” Y/n side hugged Duff, we’ll just his head since he was sitting down.

“Alight, be careful, love you” Duff said, feeling weird saying that to Y/n

Y/n smiled, “Love you too Duff”

“Bye guys!” Y/n said, strutting towards the door, hearing everyone but Slash say bye.

Y/n sighed as she walked towards Johns, things with Slash had been weird after what happened, he even left after apologizing to her, not seeing him till now, and he couldn’t even look at her.

She felt like he was making this too much of a big deal, so what if it happened? She’s getting over it and he should too. She thought as she reached Johns steps, seeing him sitting there.

Y/n smiled, “Hey Fru”

John looked up at her, eyes widening when he saw her. “Hi” He managed to stutter out.

“Is my outfit too much?” Y/n asked nervously, which was weird, since she was always a confident person back in Seattle.

“No! No, you look pretty” he smiled at her, now getting up.

“Thanks” Y/n blushed, “Let’s go?”

“Yea let’s go” He said

John guided Y/n to the bus stop, but obviously they had to smoke some weed in the meanwhile.

“So what bad are we gonna go see?” Y/n asked John

“The Red Hot Chili Peppers” John said “They’re really good, you’ll like them”

“Yea? what are they like?”

“They’re like, Funky but rock” John said, trying to explain to Y/n, “But trust me you’ll like them”

By this time, the bus had arrived.

“Okay, i’m trusting you” Y/n laughed, getting on the bus.

“Oh yea! Also I know their guitarist, he’s pretty cool” John said, sitting next to Y/n, “He invited me to hang after the show, is that cool with you?”

“Yea that sounds cool, they’re not gonna be… weird right?” Y/n said

“What do you mean weird?” John said furrowing his eyebrows

Y/n looked at John, “Like try to make a move on me weird”

“Oh! No, don’t worry about that” John smiled at her.

“Okay, cool” The girl let out a breath.

*

Y/n and John quickly arrived to where RHCP were performing, which was a pretty small venue that smelled like piss and beer.

The band hit the stage and at first, Y/n didn’t quite know how to feel about them, she stared at the four men on stage with furrowed eyebrows, that was until they played their second song, which Y/n liked.

The rest of their set went really good, Y/n and John got ahold of some beer, and they bobbed their heads along to the music, Johns arm slung around Y/n’s shoulder.

“Thanks to everyone for coming out tonight, i’m Anthony, this is Flea-” Anthony pointed to a smiling boy with a tooth gap, “Our guitarist sir Hillel, and Jack the drummer boy!”

Y/n and John were already tipsy at this point, they cheered along with everyone else, clapping their hands together.

“Did you like them?” John said, mouth by her ear.

Y/n looked up to John and smiled “Yea, they had me on lock by their third song”

Both of their heads turned when they heard a voice call out for John.

“John!” They man, and as Y/n squinted her eyes and looked closer, she saw it was Hillel.

“Hey Hillel! You guys killed it” John smiled slyly

“Thanks dude!” Hillel said, out of breath, he looked at Y/n then looked back at John, smiling “Who’s you’re friend John?”

“Im Y/n” The girl smiled at Hillel

“Nice name, are you two-” he said, signaling between the pair, “A thing?”

“Oh!” The both of them said at the same time, quickly looking at each other.

“no we’re just friends” John said, flustered

Y/n spoke, also flustered “Yea, we just met”

Hillel looked at the two, smiling because he could just feel the tension between them, and even if it was dark, he knew the both of them, well mostly John, since he knew him better, were blushing.

Plus, John wasn’t the kind of person to just hang out with people his age, and in the short time period that Hillel has known John, he can’t remember even one time that John has bought someone along with him, Hillel even wondered if John was a virgin with how lonely the boy was!

“Yea, I get it, you guys wanna go backstage?” He said

“That’s cool” Y/n said, still under Johns arm

The three walked backstage, and Hillel didn’t even stop to introduce them to the other members.

“What was that?” John said furrowing his eyebrows as they walked into a small dressing room, Hillels girlfriend (is what Y/n assumed) already in there.

Hillel sighed, “We got into it again”

“Is it okay if I ask why?” Y/n tilted her head

“Anthony, he’s just- fucken controlling” Hillel rolled his eyes.

“Oh” Y/n said, not really knowing how to respond.

“Anyways, sit down!” He said, pointing to the couch

Y/n and John went over to sit, two chairs in front of them, which was where Hillel and his girlfriend were sitting.

“This is my girlfriend, Janette” He said

“Hi, I’m Y/n” Y/n smiled at the tired looking girl.

“Hello, had anyone told you how pretty you are?” Janette drunkly, or highly said, Y/n was tryna tell the difference.

“So!” Hillel said, grabbing some shit out of his pocket, “Where’d the two of you meet?” He said, putting some substance, which Y/n confirmed was heroin, onto a spoon.

Y/n felt John stiff up, looking at her.

“We bumped into each other, literally” Y/n said, looking at him light up the spoon “Then we just hung out after”

“That’s nice, a cute start to a cute love story” Hillel teased the two, “babe, can you wrap my arm?” he said looking over to his girlfriend.

Y/n laughed, now lighting a cigarette and giving one to John.

“Not quite Hillel” John said “Y/n leaving in a few weeks”

Hillel sucked in a breath as he shot himself up, “Leaving? where you going little lady?”

“Seattle, I live there” Y/n said, chilling going through her body as she watched.

“Seattle? where’s that” Hillel said, eyes closing

“Washington, DC” Y/n said, closely watching him, a bad feeling in her stomach.

“Well why can’t you stay here?”

Y/n just laughed, “That’s impossible”

“Hold on I needa-” Hillel said, standing up

“woah you good?” John said, also standing up

And with a breath, Hillels eyes rolled back and his body slammed on the floor.

“Shit Hillel man” John rushed over to him

“Fuck” Y/n whispered to herself, also rushing over to them.

“Hillel man wake up” John said, tapping his face.

Y/n grabbed a water bottle that was near her (god knows who’s it was.) and poured some on his face, “Hillel” she said slapping him.

“Hillel!” John said, shaking him.

“Jesus is he even fucken breathing?” Y/n said, putting her ear to his nose.

As John kept shaking him, Y/ns heart dropped at the fact that she couldn’t hear him breathing.

“Fuck John he’s not breathing” Y/n said, fear in her voice.

“No no no” John said, putting his fingers on Hillels neck.

“Hillel comon wake up” Y/n said, lightly slapping his face.

“Did you feel anything?” Y/n asked John, looking up at him.

“No” he sighed, looking at Hillel.

“Fuck” Y/n said, pouring more water on him.

Looking up at Hillels girlfriend, who just sat there and looked at him, Y/n spoke

“Janette call the police”

“What? The police? No no not the police” She said with wide eyes, tears forming.

“Call the fucken police Janette!” Y/n said, now yelling.

Janette stood up and ran out the room, confirming that she called an ambulance because soon enough, the rest of the Red Hot Chili Peppers rushed in.

“What the fuck?” The long haired man said as he saw his guitarist on the floor with blue lips and two teens looming over him.

“Get the fuck away from him” The same man said as he pulled Y/n from her shoulders.

“What happened?” The man with the gapped teeth spoke

“Flea man- he- he fucken shot up and just went down” John said, face wet from his tears.

“Fuck” Jack said, running his hands through his hair.

“We tried to bring him back- I-” Y/n attempted to say, this was absolutely the scariest moment in the poor girls life, she actually just witnessed someone die.

“Just get the fuck out of here” Anthony said “Go!” He yelled at the pair.

So that’s what the two did, but they waited outside till the ambulance came, confirming their fear, Hillel was dead.

As they watched the paramedics roll Hillel away in a body bag, John cried.

“Fru” Y/n said, tears running down her face “I’m so sorry”

“He’s dead Y/n” He said, hugging her, crying in her shoulder.

“I know” she said, running her hands through his neck “I’m so sorry” she repeated.

“We saw him fucken die Y/n” He said, now looking at the mess of a girl in front of him.

Even more tears fell down Y/ns face, “This is so fucked”

“Fuck” John said

“But we tried John” Y/n said, Johns eyes quickly looking at her after hearing him call him by his actual name.

“I know I just” He said, closing his eyes.

“Let’s just- Let’s just go home now okay?” Y/n said in a softer voice.

So they did, walking hand in hand and in complete silence, they walked to the bus stop and waited. And with wide eyes, they probably looked like maniacs. Holding hands, blood shot red eyes, tears on their faces as they sat on the bus. Even the bus driver was giving them weird looks, but Y/n and John did even process it, they couldn’t. Throughout the whole walk the realization of what had happened had been sinking more and more into their skin, into their brain until all they could think about was Hillels blue lips, eyes wide open, but with no life in them.

*

“Can I-” Y/n cleared her throat, standing outside of Johns apartment “Can i spend the night?”

“Please do” John said, looking at her.

They walked into his place, b-lining it to his room.

They were silent as the both stood there, until John spoke,

“Do you wanna change?” He said, quietly

“Yea” Y/n said as John grabbed her one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers.

“You don’t mind putting these on right? They’re clean” He said as he showed her his boxers.

This made Y/n laugh a bit “Thanks for clearing that up, and no i don’t mind”

John let out a breathy laugh, “I’ll step ou-”

“No! no please” Y/n said, grabbing his arm “Don’t leave” She said as tears started to form in her eyes.

“Okay, I won’t- I’ll just turn around” He said, holding her hand for a quick second then letting go, turning around while Y/n changed.

Duff

“Where the fuck is she?” Duff said as he paced around his home.

“Well certainly not here” Steven said, trying to lift the mood.

“This isn’t fucken funny Steven. It’s about to be one am and she’s still not here”

“Okay sorry” The boy shrugged.

“Try to calm down sweetie, maybe she just lost track of time” Mandy said, trying to defend Y/n.

“No! No she’s probably out doing some shit she knows she’s not supposed to” Duff said running his fingers through his hair.

“Okay first who cares about that? Let’s just hope she’s okay” Axl said, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I do! I fucken care, obviously i care if she’s okay but fuck! I don’t wanna send Y/n back to Seattle a fucken addict!” Duff said in a harsh tone, which made Slash shift uncomfortably in his seat.

“Look she’s probably dancing around with that kid, just trust her Duff” Izzy said in a monotone voice.

“Trust! Trust! Trust is what got me here in the first fucken place, I put some trust in her, send her out, and now it’s one am and she’s not fucken home!”

Mandy sighed, where the fuck was Y/n?

*

Y/n and John layed in his bed, Y/n’s hand running through his hair as he held her.

“Thanks for staying” John spoke, tiredly

“Thanks for letting me stay” Y/n said

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t here” John said, voice shaking.

“Me either” The girl said, using her other hand that wasn’t in Johns hair to wipe his tears.

“Do you think your brothers gonna be mad?” John asked her, sniffling.

“Fucken pissed, but i don’t care” Y/n said, “I would rather be here with you”

As John drifted off to sleep, Y/n stayed up, letting tears fall down her face. Her mind was an absolute wreck, why the fuck did this had to happen? Why the fuck did Hillel had to die right in front of her and John?

She looked down at the boy sleeping, eyes rimmed with red and lips puffy from crying. Poor John, she thought as she cried harder, he just saw his friend fucken die, what the fuck is he gonna do now? What’s gonna happen when she leaves?

The last thing Y/n remembers thinking about before she drifted off to sleep was, what the fuck was she gonna tell Duff?

*

“I really don’t want you to go” John said as he hugged her

“I know, i don’t wanna leave either” Y/n spoke, her clothes in one hand, “But i have to, I’ll try to come back later okay?” She said, wiping tears from Johns face.

“Okay” he said silently “Bye Y/n”

“Bye Fru” Y/n said as she kissed his cheek.

Walking up the stairs to Duffs place, Y/n had to stop and cry, wiping her eyes, she walked into his apartment.

Watching all eyes fall on her, Y/n wanted to burst into tears, but she couldn’t.

“What the fuck Y/n?” Duff said, standing up “Where the fuck were you? What the fuck happened?”

“Look” Y/n said, sighing “I just- I can’t right now” She said, voice cracking.

“You can’t? what the fuck does that mean? Who’s fucken clothes are these?” He said, getting angrier and not being able to really see how much of a mess Y/n looked.

“Their Frus Duff”

“What’s wrong with you? are you strung out?” Duff said, grabbing Y/n by the arm.

“Duff calm down-” Mandy said worry look on her face.

“No don’t tell me to calm down Mandy- I thought you were fucken dead Y/n!” Duff said, angry look on his face.

The rest of the boys decided to stay quiet, even if they really wanted to know what happened, cause that would explain why Y/n looked like such a fucken mess.

“Duff not right now” Y/n said, feeling a lump in her throat.

“No no! You’re gonna tell me what the fuck happened or i’m never gonna let you see that Fru boy again.”

“Duff please” Y/n said, trying to get out of her brothers grip, “Let go of me Duff” Y/n said, now getting angry and yanking herself out of Duffs grip.

“Don’t catch a fucken attitude with me Y/n” Duff said

“Or what?” The girl said, now getting riled up.

“Y/n I swear to go you better-”

“I don’t wanna fucken tell you! I don’t wanna tell you what happened okay? So just fucken drop it and leave me the fuck alone” Y/n said, voice raised.

“No i’m not gonna drop it!” Duff yelled

“Fine! You wanna know what happened? He died Duff! He fucken died right in front of my fucken face!” Y/n said, now yelling.

Everyone’s heart dropped, thinking about how they just saw a music magazine announce the death of the guitarist from the red hot chili peppers.

“Who died Y/n?” Duff asked, voice now quiet, afraid to set off Y/n.

“Hillel! Hillel died! he’s fucken dead!” Y/n continued to yell, yesterdays memories starting to flood her head.

“Calm down Y/n” Duff said, trying to calm the girl in front of her.

“No! Fuck you Duff!” Y/n said “I told you to fucken drop it! And you didn’t!”

“Okay okay i’m sorry Y/n” he said

Y/n’s mood had a sudden drop, the girl rolled her eyes at Duff, walking away and mumbled “Whatever, i need a fucken shower”

————

Chapter 5!!! Kinda lagged to put this one out im sorry!!! Schools just been a complete bitch this week.

But hope you guys enjoyed!! Do you guys think her and Duffs argument was cringe?😭. Should a do a small chapter with what was going through the other guys head while Duff & Y/n argued? let me know!! Till next time xxx sorry for the trauma.

[3liza]

hi eliza just wanted to thank you for all the information you’ve shared about your health and treatments etc. various pieces of your advice have really changed my life and outlook on chronic pain. 3 weeks of mexidol and I’ve noticed a few substantial differences. just curious are you still using it? any tips tricks stacking habits or anecdotal things you’ve noticed since the last time you mentioned it? guessing still with LDN. truly, thank you. your shared knowledge means more than I can communicate

it's so encouraging that you found some stuff that worked, thank you so much for letting me know.

im a big Mexidol fan rn!! i think i would like to take it for the rest of my life. i havent found any reports of long term use problems or toxicity, but all the research is in russian so we have to be cautious. i wish I could read all the russian research. i also was OFF mexidol for a weeks recently because of just slow shipping and i noticed a SIGNIFICANT difference. i felt cold all the time, my old nerve injuries started acting up again, various joint and ligament pain returned, and i got a migraine after really having a long stretch of no migraines. i also think my POTS got worse. i'm not sure about what would stack well with Mexidol, its similar as a molecule to vitamin B6 (if im not mistaken) so maybe we could look up stuff that goes well iwth that.

I'm still taking LDN and I think it does help a lot. recently ive been having bad sleep issues that remind me of narcolepsy, and I thought maybe it could be related to the recent new medications, so i tried changing doses and didn't notice any differences. unless it's the Emgality, which is a monthly injection and very long-acting so I can't really experiment with it unless I just delay my next dose, which I might try. the fucking sleep clinic booked me for JUNE.

JUNE.

i hate my life and i hate the fuckening government

[nyree31]

It feels so fucken draining now, im tired of being tired i fucken wish i was cold like you i dont wanna feel these 1,0000 feelings anymore i hate it im over it