#im so bored guys dont take this seriously

[elftwink]

have a new mental disorder im naming transit blues where im perfectly well adjusted [citation needed] right up until i miss a bus by one minute which triggers a depressive spiral so bad that the only reason i do not kill myself is because i know in 3 hours ill be literally fine again and actually mildly embarrassed about the suicide ideation at that point

[im-smart-i-swear]

Post that makes me feel nothing

[rafeskiss]

juno ! ᥫ᭡

pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader

word count: 980

summary: boat days with rafey make you so fucking horny<333 based on the song ‘juno’ by sabrina carpenter

warnings: no actual smut, use of y/n, mentions of pregnancy, alcohol, probably more i dont fucking know

authors note: IM BAAAACK! bringing back the short n’ sweet inspired rafe fics

boat days with rafe were your favorite days. you didn’t have to be sexual with rafe to have fun together, and you guys had your own way of showing appreciation— which, of course, included sex some days, but you also just got each other.

your love for each other was showcased best on the druthers on hot and sticky summer afternoons. you’d be tanning and feel a lack of warmth for a second, opening your eyes to see rafe towering over you, blocking the sun. a fruity seltzer in his hand, he’d hand it to you and you’d continue tanning. you didn’t ever have to tell him what you were thinking, he just gets it.

or he’d let you apply sunscreen on him— this was a rarity. he claimed he didn’t care if he got burnt or not, and you’d always reply with something along the lines of ‘you will care when you get skin cancer in 20 years!’ so you’d stand on your tippy toes, rubbing the white substance on his face, chest, back, arms, and legs until you saw fit. this was also a perfect excuse to feel him up. you hated his father, ward, for giving him life-long daddy issues but this was one of the only times you’d thank him. God bless his dad’s genetics, because rafe cameron is one sight to see and feel under the north carolina heat. beads of sweat dotting his face and chest, small freckles appearing on his nose and how gorgeous he looked driving the boat.

today was one of those days; you in a tiny pink bikini and rafe looking particularly fuckable edible hot pretty. you watched as he steered the boat towards wherever the hell he was taking you, his grip on the steering wheel showing off his toned, muscular arms. you just about melted in your sun chair rafe layed out for you.

it was days like this where you seemed to be so in love you’d do just about anything for him. rafe was too busy steering the boat, leaving you alone in your thoughts as you soaked up the vitamin d. you often thought about your future with rafe, and rafe doesn’t talk about the future rarely ever, but you knew he’d want your touch for life. he hasn’t and probably won’t ever come out and directly say he wants to spend forever with you, but his words always allude to it.

you never take the things he says during sex seriously; he’s always grunting about putting a baby in you or telling you to never ever leave him— you wouldn’t dare— but you wonder if he really truly means it. however, this doesn’t stop you from hinting at the fact you would like this all to become a reality. he’d be picking you up to go to dinner and you’d do a little twirl, showing off your dress. he’d tell you you look great, just like always, and you’d be like ‘well, there’s actually one thing missing…’ rafe would grumble something like ‘fuck are you talkin’ bout, kid? you’re fully dressed.’ and you’d stick your left hand out to him, showing him your naked ring finger. ‘missing a rock right there.’ and he’d roll his eyes and tell you to get in the damn truck.

you hopped off the tanning chair and found your way to a mini fridge that’s always stocked with various drinks. you opted for a twisted tea and you grabbed rafe a beer. you giddily walked to find rafe who was standing by the steering wheel, one hand on it and the other glancing down at his phone.

“here ya go,” you smiled and handed him the glass bottle.

“thanks, baby.” he said while placing a kiss to your temple, turning his phone off.

you looked at his hands on the steering wheel, noticing the lack of a wedding ring on his hand. you frown, “looks so boring right here, right?” you look up at him, your finger pointing to his ring finger.

“can you just wait?” he scolded.

“i just think this day would be even more perfect with a mini us running around!” you declared, looking around the boat imagining a tiny rafe or a tiny you waddling all over.

he rolled his eyes and continued steering the boat.

“like, one of me is cute but two though?”

rafe laughed, “are you ovulating or something? holy shit,”

you smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek, “can’t help it.”

“jus’… gimme time, baby.” he muttered before taking a sip of his beer.

so maybe having a baby at 19 wasn’t the best idea. but there were far worse things you could be doing with your life! rafe has enough money to support you and the baby until the end of time, including your retail therapy and regular therapy, so what is so wrong with that?

“give me one good reason why we can’t have a baby right now.” you said, crossing your arms which only made rafe take this conversation less serious because his eyes were immediately drawn to your tits.

rafe smirked, “shit, i dunno. i will say, your tits would be massive with a little baby in you.”

you gasped, “so you do wanna have a baby!”

“never said that.” he sniffed.

rolling your eyes you said, “whatever. god forbid i want a future with you!” you stormed off leaving rafe behind you.

of course, rafe didn’t want to hurt your feelings so he apologized very thoroughly later. he made sure to tell you that he did want a future with you, but he wants you to enjoy your young adulthood before potentially wrecking your life and freedom by bringing a baby into the world. in response to this, you stuck your tongue out at him.

“see, who needs a fucking baby when we got you around?” he said teasingly.

TAGLIST (reply to my tag list post to be added)

@xcinnamonmalfoyx @neediestpuppy @ethanthequeefqueen @maybankslover @pankowblues @drewsphswife @wearemadeofstardust0

[depressedcoffeeobsess]

╰𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞.ᐟ

Pairing(s): James Potter x fem!Reader

Summary: James would do anything for a date with you.

Warnings: none!

Word count: 680 words!

Note(s): Im loving the picture on the right side :)

:the question and answer are both from google

THE MARAUDERS WERE sitting at the library. Rare sight really. Well it was no doubt that you'd seen remus at the library. Fifth year kicked in hard with the owls so near. You and lily were working so hard, that you both decided to take a break.

You took your seat infront of James, with a book in hand. This was the break for you. Though Sirius merely doubted that. Lily had gone off to find books. You were currently reading your charms book.

“hey, will you go out on a date with me?” James was always asking you to go out with him. You considered it for once but never again.

“I've already told you my answer Potter,” you would say it every time. “and if you don't already know it's no”

“come on.” he said it in a kind of a sing a song tone. “just once, please” oh for the love of merlin.

You could tell remus was already regretting his life. So instead of that you started a bookworm conversation with him. You loved remus (no not in that way) because he was the only one you could properly relate to. You both loved talking about extra nerdy things going out in hogwarts.

“will you go out with me now?” James was starting to get a little irritated because of Remus. He didn't like watching people talking to—his future wife—you. This occurred especially when Remus was talking to you.

“no” you said blankly. You didn't want to hurt his feeling but you also didn't want to go through break ups and all that drama. You weren't one for drama like that.

“please?”

“no”

“please?” in a desperate tone

“nope” popping the ‘P’ out.

“please?”

“oh fine!” James’ eyes lit up. “on one condition...”

“and that is?” he was quite eager now. Sirius and Remus were just too shocked to not be letting flies into their mouths. You had said yes to James out of all the guys in a line for you.

“answer this question and I'll go out with you” typical nerd.

James huffed. “why is it always about studies?” he was getting bored now. (Not of you)

“because you need to study to get a good career,” you were smiling all the way. James and Sirius mentally rolled their eyes, while Remus was nodding. You were pretty confident he couldn't do it. You pretended to flip through your charms book just to find a paper with pre wrote questions. You looked at them and glanced up at James, smirking evily. “Explain the difference between a Crucio and an Imperio curse.”

“uh, funny thing,” he laughed nervously. “Is that wormy I see there pads?”

You sighed and mentally face palmed. “seriously? Are you that dumb? That was a basic question!” (this line was for you rese)

“fine if you're so good why don't you answer it y/l/n” James looked like he was pretty confident too. His ego was obviously at it's fullest.

“Crucio causes extreme torture, while Imperio puts the victim under the caster's control” you seemed like you were reading out of a book. You had your eyes closed and a finger pointed up.

James' mouth went open. His jaw dropped to the floor. “I obviously knew that” he huffed.

You rolled your eyes and set of to find lily. James' eyes followed your figure until it turned to the corner. James sighed.

“do you think she'll go out with me?” he asked this question normally.

“No”

Sirius and Remus said in unision. They were tired of James asking them a single question all the time.

“Mate, maybe she'll go out with you once you've actually read a single page of that book” Sirius didn't read either. He was just there to be James' hope.

“who likes reading these days?”

“apparently she does” remus muttered as he went back to his potions book.

“dont worry the woman will have to surrender one day!” Sirius exclaimed brightly. Honestly he was just making it worse, according to Remus.

As they usual banter on the marauders was playing in the background, you were smiling to yourself. Maybe you would consider going out with him next time.

Bonus +

James was blabbering to Peter about how good his day went. “and then she was about to say yes!” you were. “she was?” Peter was horrified for you. “yea! I wonder how our children will look like” he said dreamily. “if you ever have any” Remus muttered.

[keen-li]

MA'AM

18+

MDNI

Neighbour au. age gap au (reader is older than jk). kissing, touching, oral (female receiving), fingering, jk calls reader ''ma'am''. reader is kinda lonely, bored and untouched. p in v, no protection (be wise and condomize guys).

this is all just fiction, don't take it too seriously.

plus im stil learing to write smut, so go easy on me.

helpful and positve feedback is appreciated.

Sorry for any typos.

--

‘’oh yn,’’ you hear a familiar boy-ish voice speak.

And when you turn, your eyes are met with jungkook.

You know him cause he’s your neighbour, but you rarely speak seeing that you have nothing in common but he’s always kind and sweet whenever you bump into each other.

Like right now.

‘’jungkook’’ you say surprised to see him. ‘’how are you?’’ you give him back a smile.

You haven’t seen him in a while, he must be busy with college (you assume) or maybe he’s busy with some girlfriend. Guys his age are usually swarmed with girls. Especially seeing how attractive he is. The college girls must be having fun with him.

You admire his hair that seems to have gotten longer. You can’t help but notice how good he looks with it.

‘’i’m good, hope you’re doing well..’’ he pauses in his speech ‘’haven’t heard from you in a while. I almost thought you moved out’’

You chuckle at his assumption.

You shake your head lightly as you chuckle ‘’nope. Just busy with work’’

‘’i dont think i’d ever move out honestly’’ seeing as this apartment has a fair price for rent.

He chuckles.

‘’im glad thought i scared you away’’ he says worriedly.

‘’you’d never scare me away’’ you mumble out suddenly feeling nervous.

‘’with all those noise complaints you handed to me?’’ He says with a warm joking tone.

You can’t deny that a lot of noise comes from jungkook’s apartment, that you had to report him. You kinda feel childish for doing it, he’s a college boy anyways. All they know is noise.

‘’but i do get it. I make a lot of noise’’ he uses his pointer and middle finger to rub his lower lip, you get the chance to admire his tattooed finger and pierced lip.

You feel yourself swallow the lump in your throat and bite your lip. You don’t know why you always feel like this when talking to jungkook, maybe it’s his hovering figure, intimidating voice or piercing brown eyes. Even though his eyes give off a soft innocent look you can’t help but observe the sensuality in them.

‘’um yeah’’ you don’t know what else to say. Your eyes can barely look at jungkook while his eyes can’t stop looking at you. There’s no way a college boy can make you feel this nervous. You thought you had outgrown it.

Or maybe it’s the aloneness since your last boyfriend. It’s been quite depressive but you try and not let it eat you up.

But it’s hard when you and jungkook’s walls are as thin as paper. and can hear everything that goes on. Especially when he has a girl over.

You don’t mean to listen to what happens, but what else can you do when you’re laying in bed, bored and lonely. It seems sad you end up finding your hand in-between your thighs as you hear how jungkook pleasures.

With all the groans and name moaning you have come to the conclusion that jungkook must be a great fuck. But it’s not like you’ll ever know. Do you even want to?

You can never fuck someone younger than you right? You’ve always dated older men or at least someone the same age as you. You’ve never been with a younger guy before.

But jungkook seems like he could definitely go for an older woman.

Wait.

Does jungkook want you. He does seem to give off that vibe but maybe you’re in over your head. Jungkook wouldn’t want you there are so many better options for him. So many better girls for him. Not you.

‘’so do you like those?’’ he askes pointing to the basket you have filled with ramen noodles cups.

You chuckle embarrassed.

‘’ yeah i do but, i mainly buy them cause i don’t have time to cook’’

He nods.

‘’maybe i can come cook for you one day’’ you laugh but he’s actually serious.

‘’oh, i wouldn’t mind but i assume you’re busy with school’’ you swing the basket lightly and unconsciously.

‘’i can find time’’ he says a little rushed out.

‘’then i wouldn’t mind’’ you smile.

‘’you going home?’’ he asks.

You nod.

‘’i guess i can give you a ride home, if that’s alright with you’’

You wouldn’t mind at all.

-

The ride back home was quiet. It still baffles you to how jungkook has a car.

When you were in college you could barely find money to buy food, let alone a car.

And even with a job you can barely find money to buy or rent a car.

‘’thanks for the ride, it was nice meeting you today jungkook’’

The way you smile and say his name makes a hot flash rush through him.

If only you knew how many times his thought of you calling out his name. Sometimes he wishes it was you in his bed, toes curling and back arching.

If he got the chance, he’d show you how you deserve everything.

You don’t deserve to get yourself off and barely get off.

Did he ever say that the walls are so thin that he can hear you too.

He’s heard your frustrated moans and grunts. And all the times you cursed cause of how hard it was to get your high, sometimes his heard you cry and it breaks his heart.

He wishes he could get a chance to please you. He’s never wanted to please someone so bad.

He’s never been so desperate to get on his knees and run you dry of all your juices. To feel you claw at his back as you take him so well.

But he’s also never thought of being with an older woman.

Jungkook knows you’re older than him and he doesn’t mind. Actually he makes him want you more.

He wants you like air and if he doesn’t get you now he feels like he would stop breathing.

So if he doesn’t take this opportunity now he might never have the chance to.

‘’do you wanna, come eat ramen with me?’’

-

You don’t know how it happened. But he asked you to come over to his, you didn’t see a problem with it so you said yes.

But you don’t know how you went from laughing over some movie to grinding on his lap as your lips intertwine hungrily.

Fuck. You never thought you’d be doing this with your neighbour and fuck you never thought it would feel this good.

Your hands roam his firm chest, and your thoughts are proved right, he does like the gym. Though you could’ve known that without clawing at his chest.

These younger guys are always in the gym, like their life depends on it.

Your gasps and moans mix. You don’t know how innocent sounds of laughter turned into hot whimpers of need.

Maybe it was the stares that seemed to linger for longer than they should have.

Jungkook takes a moment to take in your face but then his lips are soon on yours again as eager as ever, and you accept them.

He kisses you with eagerness and desperation. Desperation to touch and feel you in every way.

You moan into his mouth as you feel the wetness grow between your legs. You hate how a college student, has you this hot and soaking wet.

You’re busy devouring each other’s lips but you don’t fail to recognize the tent forming and touching your centre.

Jungkook’s hands rummage over your back and over your hips and to your ass, he sqeezes your ass lightly which causes you to jumb lightly.

‘’you okay’’ he asks

‘’yeah just never had anyone squeeze my ass like that’’

That boy-ish smile of his is far gone, now a manly sexy grin paints his face. A grin like a wolf looking at a lamb as it’s next meal.

‘’you’ve never had someone touch you like that’’

You shake your head. You hate how jungkook makes you feel like a highschooler losing their virginity.

‘’who have you been fucking that doesn’t want to touch this ass’’ he squeezes your ass again, and you’re embarrassed when you release a moan at that action.

‘’i don’t know’’ your words come out more whiny than you’d like.

He moves to your neck and you move it to accustom him into the space. He places some wet and gentle kisses.

‘’i’m not like them though. I wanna touch every part of you. Wanna taste every part of you and feel you on me.’’ He kisses your neck again and the smacking sound of his lips meeting your skin causes you clench. ‘’i wanna treat you right, i wanna make you feel good’’

You don’t know how true his words are or if you can even take them seriously. Maybe it’s the lust talking. He’s a young man, he wouldn’t want to waste his days with you.

‘’don’t you have other, younger girls. You wanna make feel good.’’ You just had to ask.

The chuckles he releases causes a rush of blood to your groin.

‘’all i think about when i fuck them is you’’ he kisses you again.

You don’t want to believe him but your heart can’t help but flutter. You don’t want to get hurt again but something tells you jungkook is far from hurting you. But you can’t trust that feeling, what if that feeling is just how good it feels to be on him.

He has a great way with words and it would work on you every time, cause you haven’t grown out the naivety of your youth for some reason.

Jungkook knows when and how to say the right words which makes you scared. Which makes him dangerous. All these young boys are to slick with their words.

‘’yn, don’t think’’ he whispers against your lips. He must have noticed your distance all of a sudden.

‘’don’t think of anything but this’’ he pecks your lips.

‘’i’ll try’’ you coo.

‘’i’ll make you’’

his lips are back on yours desperately. And the sound of your lips smacking and you whimpers fills the room again.

His lips go back to licking and sucking that one spot on your neck. His mouth on your neck and hands on your hips helping you grind against his clothed crotch makes you gasp for air.

You’ve never had anyone take their time with you like this, they’re usually quick to just get it in. But not jungkook, he takes his time enjoying and tasting every part of you. Why wouldn’t he when he’s been thinking about this moment and taking cold showers to stop his natural desire for you.

Being with jungkook tells you how much you’ve been missing and how much you need to learn. It’s like going back to your college days.

‘’fuck jungkook’’ you moan when he nibbles at your neck. Your hands move from his chest to his neck then to his long hair.

You unintentionally pull at his hair and you love how he groans when you do so.

The need and ache between your legs grows strong as you grind harder on his lap. Jungkook watches how you move against him trying to find your high. He promises to give it to you but he needs to feel more of you before he does so.

You gasp when he plops you on your back onto his soft couch.

‘’jungkook...’’ you call out and he stops his action to attend to your need.

‘’yes’’ he sounds so submissive as he says so.

‘’i want you’’ your hips move up to feel some friction. He chuckles at the action.

‘’i want you too’’ he smiles as he pecks you on your forehead.

‘’no. Like i want you. Actually i fucking need you’’ you whine out. You’re probably gonna be so embarrassed later but right now you need him.

Your hand reaches for his belt but his hands stop you. You feel embarrassed and confused, you know he’s hard. You can see his fully grown bulge. But why does he want to take so much time.

‘’i wanna taste you first’’ he whispers by your ear.

Fuck. You’ve never had anyone want to eat you out. It’s been a while since anyone went down on you.

‘’jungkoo-‘’ you want to protest.

‘’please yn’’ he begs. ‘’i need it’’ his lips are against yours as he says in a whisper. His lips are on yours for a second before he leaves you wanting to taste his lips more.

You watch his body move down and you can feel your wetness drip down.

‘’fuck...’’ you hear him groan and grow a little self conscious.

‘’what?’’ you lift yourself up a bit.

‘’it’s just that you’re so fucking gorgeous’’ you can’t help but blush and feel a little weird. You’ve never had anyone ogle at you pussy like that.

‘’jungkook..’’ you call out in a whine. You can feel his breath breeze over you centre and it makes the need grow stronger.

‘’i’m sorry, im staring’’ he says and before you can tell him anything his lips are on you, hungrily.

You release a sharp moan as his lips make out with yours.

He licks a long strip of you pouring juices, your taste sinking into his tastebuds.

‘’so fucking good,’’ he groans. ‘’and so fucking wet’’ you feel his finger run through your folds.

‘’jungkook please. Fuck...’’ you don’t even know what you’re pleading for but you are.

Jungkook adheres to you unspoken cries, as he dives back into kissing you and massaging your clit.

Your hand finds it’s way to his hair and pulls. The groan he releases sends electricity through you.

You’ve never felt like this, nobody has ever put this much effort into touching you.

And jungkook has never put this much effort into eating pussy, but for you he will and he is.

He adds his fingers into you as he pumps into you.

‘’fuck you need to be fucked right’’ he says at your tightness. You can barely hear what he’s saying over at how hard he’s slurping.

With the way his digits work into you and his tongue sucks on your clit, you can feel that feeling you’ve been chasing.

‘’fuck jungkook, im going to-‘’ jungkook smiles at how you can barely finish your sentence but he knows.

The feeling grows closer and your heart races in excitement.

But then all of the sudden the feeling is gone and you’re about to curse out jungkook who’s now moving up.

‘’what the fuck, i was going to-‘’ you whine angrily.

‘’i want you to come over my cock’’

You don’t argue, he’s the one in control after all.

‘’ then please fuck me’’ all you can do is plead. It’s so embarrassing pleading for him to fuck you. You wonder if girls his age are this desperate too.

‘’yes ma’am’’ he says as he takes off his shirt, for some reason him calling you ma’am makes you more aroused.

‘’don’t call me ma’am’’ you say blushing but jungkook knows, you’re bullshitting.

‘’yes ma’am’’ he says with a cheeky grin knowing that it makes you clench around nothing.

You watch him unbuckle his belt and you’ve never seen anything this attractive.

As you watch him you anticipate how his going to feel and how you’ll wrap around him. That’s all jungkook can think about too as he strokes himself slightly, though he’s been hard since he saw you in the grocery store.

You feel his tip slide through your wet folds and you can’t help but suck in a breath. Jungkook can’t help but whimper at how wet and good you feel already.

You clench desperate to feel something inside you. You wonder if it will hurt, it’s been a while for you anyways. And he looks like he could stretch you out good. But you’re too needy to worry about that.

You gasp when you feel him move into you, slow and teasingly. His tip has you wondering if you’ll be able to take all of him.

‘’fuck you’re so good for me’’ he says as he moves in deeper. ‘’i wish i could feel you everyday’’

You can.

You want to say, but don’t wanna make promises. You don’t know if this will ever happen again.

‘’do you wanna be good for me like this everyday, yn’’ he says kissing along your jaw as he settles into you.

He doesn’t move waiting for your answer.

You hum but it’s not enough for him.

‘’yes, i want you everyday’’ you end up speaking more of your mind than you planned to.

Jungkook smiles as he slowly begins to move in and out.

‘’good. You can have me everyday’’

With the ways he rocks into you, slowly increasing speed, you understand the moans of those girls you heard him fucking.

His name falls from your mouth as he continues. Jungkook has never enjoyed being buried in heat like this. And he’s never wanted to stay in forever like he does right now.

‘’jungkook..’’ with the way your nails dig into his arm and you flutter around he knows you’re close.

But so is he. Your high is his target as he continues to stroke.

Jungkook twitches inside of you as you both reach your highs.

He lays on top of you as you breath heavily. He tries to keep his weight from crushing you.

‘’next time i wanna be on top’’ you say with the energy you’ve got left.

‘’deal. Even though i like being on top, i’ll let you ride me’’ you almost feel that feeling comeback.

You stroke his hair as you watch that boy-ish smile return on his face.

It’s like he’s changed and wasn’t the person balls deep into you seconds ago.

‘’i like this’’ you say comfortable.

‘’i like you’’ Jungkook coos into your neck.

--

[nandermoenthusiast]

The coffin lands with a crash, Nandor already out of it gracefully as his vampiric nature grants him.

“Have you survived the fall Guillermo, are you allright?” he asks haughtily and with a barely concealed predatory grin at the yelping heap of limbs and clothes that is Guillermo right now. Of course he was never truly worried for his well being, Guillermo might be human, but he is no regular human, if his van Helsing blood has anything to say about that. Nandor just likes to tease.

“Yes master, im fine, i just wasnt prepa-“

Nandor offers him a hand out of the coffin, the way Guillermo has done so many times before for him. Nandor looks at him curiously, Guillermo looks all flustered right now, hes cute. Hes always cute of course, but damn. He hasn’t even realised the obvious parallel yet, just took his hand absent-mindedly as he was rambling about something. His hair is all mussed up too. Cute.

Probably the moment registers into Guillermo’s mind as Nandor hears his muttering protests suddenly cut short. He’s looking at their gingerly intertwined hands and kinda looks like hes about to swallow a frog, or maybe like he’s about to start crying again. This fucking guy. Always a theatrics with him. But Nandor has learned to lean into his little guy’s moods. He leaves him to his maybe horny maybe emotional thoughts and finishes helping him out of the coffin.

The air is thick between them now. He can sort of hear Guillermo’s heartbeat from this distance, the little guy probably has a concert thumping in his ears right now. Nandor enjoys playing with his food, always has, and today is no different. He takes a step closer. Guillermo takes an infinitesimal step back. There is a wall very close to his back. Right where Nandor wanted him.

“You know as i was saying about the cameras, Guillermo…” he starts feign-casual as he very not casually hovers over him, black eyes boring into him with the fire that only very rarely comes out in front of the crew. Guillermo looks like he’s a mixture between disbelieving and like he’s gonna pass out from hyperventilation at a moments notice. It’s an endearing mix.

“Y-yes, you -were saying something about your hair…” Guillermo couldn’t physically look away from Nandor if his life depended on it right now.

“And other reasons”, very seriously.

“- Yeah”, an exhale.

Just look at his eager little eyes. Should he put the guy out of his misery? Well come to think of it, should he put himself out of his own misery? He’s been in love with the guy for the better part of a decade now. Of course he’s not about to say that now. Let him play the part of suave vampire for his Guillermo, let him fullfill any fantasy he’s ever had, at the very least this very first time they do this dance. There will be time for the mushy stuff later. Come to think of it, what is Nandor doing?? Acting on years of pent up sexual and romantic tension, of course, but what is he setting himself up to? Heartbreak.

Violent, earth shattering heartbreak. Maybe not today, maybe not in 10 years, but soon. Soon to a vampire anyway. No- you don’t know that. If Guillermo loves me, he might find a way to not leave me like he always does. He always does leave. But then he also always comes back. Doesn’t he? Nandor loses himself in these thoughts for a moment, and Guillermo seems to notice his mind is suddenly somewhere else.

Oh, to be known so completely. Oh, to have a worthy partner, a partner who knows everything about you, a Lazlo to your Nadja, a Charmaine to your Sean, a Sire to your Baron. And to have to lose it in a matter of years. Just his luck. But also like Colin Robinson said, dont be sad cause its over, smile cause it happened.

Nandor’s eyes keep searching Guillermo’s as he draws closer and closer, eyes intensely registering every microexpression on his beloved’s face, the little crinkle between his brows and the small nervous smile that’s forming around his lips. His hands land seamlessly and delicately on either side of Guillermo’s face, and he feels his breath hitch. He really doesn’t give a flying fuck if he’s gonna suffer for a thousand years, Guillermo is here right now and he looks like he’s gonna break under his touch. One hand goes to cradle his head, thumb delicately swiping over Guillermo’s ear and pulse point, as Nandor brings their noses together and they breathe the same air for a moment. The other hand is held gently across his cheek, just there, a reassuring weight. “I’m going to kiss you now”.

And Nandor kisses him.

[mjalti]

sometimes the reality that ive never dated washes over me, lol, and its always an uncomfortable thing because other people date all the time and i dont know why it hasnt worked out for me, granted im not flirtatious and i dont like talking to random men (blame extensive sexual harrasment as a teenager), but then there is also this awkward layer of theres no point in pondering because everyone is so different and their tastes are so varied. i cant ruminate on the why because there a million reasons, but its always such an awkward feeling, should i give the guy who grabbed my hand outside the club or the one who approached me in the laundromat a chance? i think thats my issue, i just dont see the appeal in "giving chances" or "seeing where things go" like i could date random people but i just dont see the reason, but at the same time i dont think their attention is worthwhile, so where does that leave me, im approaching mid 20's and single and maybe im just deeply unlikeable, i dont really know

my sweet sweet child. dating is the interview phase of a job search. dating is the one thing that people do in order to never have to do again. you are institution hiring and you do not have to grant an interview to every candidate that wants the job; you may not even have a spot open. but do not approach this with the idea of you being unlikable. most people lack comprehension and merely go off of instinct. if you are bored, focus on your body in your free time, and the ignoramuses [even the most successful amongst them] will flock to you as everyone is shallow when it comes to the status of a trophy for a relationship [which is what most of them want]. But anyway. do not take this so seriously. most people cannot afford to love something that is worth loving.

[olderthannetfic]

Have been having such a time lately trying to commit to this fic im writing because it's. Incredibly cathartic and is the start of me finally starting to explore the concepts im ashamed of being fascinated by.

Mpreg jokes have become so ubiquitous that it feels like people just roll their eyes or look at me like im a weirdo for trying to take the idea seriously? not just as a physical reality for the m getting pregged in question, but also as an Emotional reality for the character. Pregnancy and pregnant characters are still treated So fucking weirdly in General, and. i understand people having a trigger related to it, thats not what im talking about ofc, but at the same time its like. Its Pregnancy. Its how Life happens. And men irl Can and DO get pregnant. Even men that dont "look like" they would enjoy it. It's always "dont pigeon hole effeminate men as bottoms/omegas/subs!!" Until someone comes out and actually wants to see and read about The Most Stereotypical Guy to ever Dude experiencing 1.) what it means to be a vessel for life, and 2.) How that changes the way people will treat him.

Bc! as soon as i bring it up, no matter how tactfully and Chaste i try to be about it, the atmosphere in the conversation always Shifts, and there's this feeling that everyone just wants me to shut up and stop being a pervert because the mere premise makes them uncomfortable. Like im sorry thinking about men in fiction undergoing women's lived reality gives me a way to articulated an understanding of what it means to be capable of having a child (all the good, bad, and ugly parts of it) that is still not otherwise allowed in Polite Discussion irl, even in the closest of relationships??

Ill keep writing it for sure but like. The shame is rearing its head and im trying to fight it my getting Mad at the pervasive (and probably just perceived) puritanical judgements dished out my the rest of the world, instead.

Why is the idea of pregnancy never taken seriously. Why is it always shoved in a corner to be ignored till it Happens and its Forced into relevance. And then why is it treated as pointless or worse just straight up Bad if it isn't "done right"/arousingly/humorously while being relevant, either on the character's part Or the author's?

It's getting better more and more with time but im just. Wracking my brain about it today. I cant stop thinking about it, its all i want to talk about, but even In my nicest and most opem circles i can feel people pulling away, and all i can think is its because im doing it to the Wrong character (major macho man villian with a Lot of daddydom themed xreaders...) or something. and its so hard not to let myself get discouraged 👽

--

A lot of my fandom circles act like that, and it's because all pregnancy is somewhere between a massive squick and massively boring to them.

I find pregnancy more interesting now that I've experienced it, but I was definitely like "Why would anyone ever talk to me about this?" before, and it wasn't about picking the wrong character.

Some things are just unpopular with some audiences. Try not to get too discouraged.

[toberkus]

random wade rambles/headcanons coz im mentally ill and might be him (jokingly)

Hey so this is completely self indulgent and my own little spin on the dickhead redsuit Wade coz ya erm dont take this too seriously I am but a nerdy author with brainrot ya - Wade totally says chat (made a whole blog about this) basically he just refers to us, the audience as chat sometimes as if hes some livestreamer - Wade def refers to himself in the 3rd person at random (this also happens in the movie) prolly does it coz he knows hes in a story and is being written and sometimes js kinda feels disconnected from himself as a character for a moment - He changes his tone of voice A LOT, (based loosely off of the VA in the deadpool game and also how I talk irl lol) and sometimes does poorly done fake accents like british accents or etc, or in general just changes the tone of his voice to over-accentuate emotions - Changes his tone of voice but also has moments where hes js completely monotone, or a mock monotone. Again based loosely off the VA in the deadpool game (plus how I talk) mainly does this when hes bored or js :/ and starts acting super bummed coz hes a spontaneous mood swinging fuck

HATES getting talked over pitied and babied in any way. He just doesnt like being treated as a child which people tend to do because of his erratic personality and he fucking loathes it, it just makes him feel stupid and he knows hes stupid but he doesnt like hearing it from others

Woah the bullet points thing suddenly started working what the freak

I know in one of the comics Wade said he actually hates anime but I'm gonna pretend that never happened because being an anime lover suits his personality, hes chronically online and a nerd sooo

speaking of chronically online this guy definitely falls for ragebait online because he gets so pissed at it even though he knows its ragebait and at the same time posts his own ragebait

Deadpool doesnt mask he stopped trying ages ago, the deadpool 3 toupe phase was the most amount of neurodivergent masking he ever did and god never again bro

canonically reads fucking fanfiction this isnt even a headcanon this is truth like he literally talks about it in comics

if he had to pick between hello kitty and unicorns he would kiss that kitty goodbye and ride off on his horsey

lowkey gets pissed at himself when his space is too dirty and suddenly starts fucking cleaning his shit while playing some video essay about some obscure niche shit and and then within like a day his space goes back to being a mess but he doesnt give a fuck as long as its not that overbearing mess it was before

Works out because if he doesnt he feels like hes not doing enough and wants to compensate for the fact that he literally looks like a melted cheese pizza

creative vocabulary comes from being chronically online and reading.. also from videogame dialogue and other medias hes consumed that just stick to his brain

if it wasnt for his healing factor he would be fainting from low iron.. if anything hes already more manic than usual due to his lack of sleep. He relies on his healing factor too much (we also know this coz he literally did not know how to fight at all and his healing factor was compensating for that and bro didn't even realize until his healing factor was permanently gone, comics)

he just honestly forgets to take care of himself and shit slips his mind a fuck ton because stuff like that isn't prioritized to him.

anyways yea thats all for now hes just a huge wackjob

[shin-kenooubu]

First Date

featuring - Chuuya Nakahara & Dazai Osamu

[sfw . third person limited if anyone cares]

a/n : this was inspired by a conversation between me and the other admin where we both agreed that Dazai would be the type to say i love you on a first date. I also didn’t actually think I’d try to write something substantial so bear with me if it’s not too good.

—

First dates aren’t really all that bad. You meet a cute girl, get to know her for a bit and you fall out because you don’t tell her where you’ve been going late at night. Thats just how it is.

As Chuuya looked at his partner for the night he couldn’t help but wonder how he got in this situation in the first place. He switched his attention to his cup of tea while letting his date blab about life. Was it him who proposed this date? Yes. Had he been thinking about it for a good long while? Yes. Did he ever think he would actually be sitting in a dainty cafe with this particular person? Well… no. Who would think that Osamu Dazai would say yes to a date with a guy who hates him? Though he supposes it could be some twisted self hatred game that he somehow managed to manipulate Chuuya into being a part of.

Whatever the case he was here now, and seriously doubting his choice of location. It was a cute cafe, usually a favorite of the girls he’s taken out before but was it the best decision to take a man here? He looked up from his cup to see his date still happily blabbing away about how boring work can be and his favorite juniors.

he seems to be happy enough.

“Chuuya I get not many girls ask you out but you should really listen to your date when they’re talking”

“Oh shut up. I was listening, you were talking about your junior atsushi. You talk about him way too much, it makes me sick. Now let’s go.” He stands up while his partner attempts to rationalize his ramblings about that particular junior. It’s weirdly sweet seeing Dazai act similar to a doting mother when talking about him. So sweet it makes him want to vomit. That feeling was one Chuuya was all too familiar with as it was constant from the minute he first met Dazai. Lately he’s been questioning whether it’s a natural feeling of hatred, or something more complex. He took a moment to take a deep breath of air as he walked out of the cafe, the air was somehow always fresher at night. “Where are we going now?”

“On a romantic walk. Obviously.” Girls liked this kind of thing. He figured he could basically treat dazai as if he were a tall girl from his reaction at the cafe. “It’s hardly romantic. How did you ever get girls to keep dating you?” He didn’t. If he could he would probably be married by now. “What? Do you want me to hold your hand? Tell you how beautiful you look? It’s hard to be romantic when I remember its you im out with. How am I supposed to know what an enigma like you wants?” There was a beat of silence before Dazai stopped walking and turned to face away from Chuuya, crossing his arms in the process.

What the hell is he doing?

“Hey.” He doesn’t turn. “Oh come on, dont do that.” No response again. He tries to walk over to where Dazai is facing only for him to continue turning so he cant see his face. “Stop.” He holds on to Dazai’s shoulders to stop him from turning, in retaliation Dazai turns his head towards the sky and closes his eyes, arms still crossed tightly, completely rejecting Chuuya’s attempts at communication. “You’re being ridiculous.” Still no movement. “Fine.” Chuuya struggles to uncross Dazai’s arms and pries his fingers apart to interlock them with his own. “Happy?” Dazai’s response comes in the form of leaving the hand that Chuuya is trying to hold fully flexed, not attempting to reciprocate the gesture in the slightest. He’s a lot more like a girl than Chuuya originally thought. So what would make a girl forgive him?

He sighed before bracing himself for what he was about to do. “Hey, don’t be like that” He softened his voice as much as he could using his free hand to reach for Dazai’s face and guide it to look down at him. “You got what you wanted didn’t you?” He caressed his cheek with his thumb and played with his hair until he felt his hand relax and reciprocate the hold Chuuya had on it. Dazai’s face remained contorted in contempt “You’re the absolute worst.” He gripped Chuuyas hand hard and continued walking. “I’ll take your death grip as a sign of you forgiving me.” He could tell that Dazai was having a hard time staying mad at him though his face was still twisted in anger. “Oh whatever.” Dazai’s face returned to its neutral state though he didn’t bother loosening his grip. Their walk continued comfortably and silently, making Chuuyas mind drift to his question at the very start of their date. What was he doing here? The question seemed to evolve the longer he was on this date. Just how exactly did he feel about Dazai? He’s never thought that he felt anything but hatred for him, but suddenly the word feels too simple and un nuanced to properly describe how he feels after so many years together.

And that’s when Dazai says the single worst thing a person could ever say on a first date. “I love you.” Oh my god. “What?” Chuuya instinctively tried to let go of Dazai’s hand but his grip remained tight not letting Chuuya break contact. “What do you mean what? I love you.” Dazai looked at Chuuya with a confused expression as if what he was saying was something obvious that they were both aware of. “Do you not love me??“ Chuuya didn’t know how to respod. “I never said that.” It’s not like he didn’t feel the same, it was a crude confession lacking buildup and preparation for what was supposed to be a crucial moment in their budding relationship. It left him speechless.“Well?” Dazai leaned in closer to hear what Chuuya had to say looking almost anxious to hear his answer, as if he doubted his previous assessment on how Chuuya felt about him. “Okay I love you. But you can’t be doing this.” He pushed Dazai’s face away from his to discourage him from doing something crazier. “Can’t be doing what?” It’s like talking to a wall. “Nothing,” Chuuya sighed “let me walk you home.” There’s no use trying to teach him date etiquette. It’s not like he’ll be having another first date now anyway.

—

[elainsgirl]

Whats the weirdest argument against Elain or elriel you have heard?

I think this is oen of them (I cant believe its still here after all these years): Elain doesn't belong in the Night Court because CASSIAN THOUGHT she looked bad in an unflattering black dress when the IC had to make the famously beautiful elain unflattering so Eris would focus on Nesta. There's a very clear reason cassian said elain looked unflattering, so readers could understand what the IC was up to, manipulating Eris to their wishes. Which Elain was an important part of.

Never mind it's never once even implied you have to wear black in the Night court. Rhysands first and second, Mor and Amren, dont. But GA/EL have special rules for elain! Otherwise everyone knows she will most definitely jump the bones of her favorite bat boy and he will be very very VERY happy about that. We can't have that! Need her gone!

And it's so funny that it is because of one of the scenes where Elain chooses to work for the IC that they claim she doesn't belong there. Its so backwards and ANYTHING Elain does is disregarded in favor of the words of a male. But GA/EL are entirely focused on the males so I guess it's no surprise.

They have been too locked up in their bubbles, their ridiculous ideas have moved further and further from the books and then become so ingrained. Like a house of cards built on fanon. So fragile the tiny puff of wind from turning a page in one of the actual books is enough for it to crash.

GA/EL need Elain to leave the night Court because they know she can't be kept in the same place as azriel because everyone knows elriel is canon and Elain almost climbed azriel like a tree when they were alone, while Az worshipped her like a damned goddess. With Lulu sleeping upstairs. That must have been like reading pure horror for GA/EL. I guess it makes sense they are grasping at straws. But the straws they are grasping at are laughable.

Hey anon 🫶

The whole “elain looks bad in black” arguement is so hilariously funny. That scene was clearly set up to make elain look unflattering when compared to Nesta - but antis hate the theory because they don’t believe Elain is capable of doing anything complex. They don’t want to acknowledge that Elain Archeron - the very character they call weak and boring- can pull of such a plan. That or they want to stick her to the whole “she’s a feminine girl who likes to throw balls and gardens” and not let her grow outside of that image (idk if that makes sense). Elain - who grew up as a socialite- would obviously have been taught by their mother what colours are flattering on her, the dress shape and size that suits her, which makeup would go with which look etc. She would have known she looked “washed” out in black. She would have known the dress was unflattering. Not only that, she had the twins, feyre, Mor etc all to tell her she looked terrible but no one did. The scene of Elain in Hewn, her dress specifically was described exactly as void fabric which we met in acofas with Feyre and? Elain Archeron. Besides all of that: They’d rather take Cassian’s opinion seriously instead of Elains own words. Which is kind of the point when it comes to Elains character how no one rlly takes her seriously or looks past the surface which her antis including elucien stans do. They take her character surface level when it suits them.

I’ve come across such BS takes, from Elain being a cheater, someone who self h4rms, evil, manipulater to elriel being toxic, rebounds etc but if I had to choose one for Elain and one for Elriel:

Elain: Eluciens calling Elain a cheater. When they started yapping about this, it confirmed for me that eluciens do not love Elain. Im not making the bold statement that “all eluciens hate elain” - that would be mean and immature of me. However, I am in the firm camp elucien Stans like elain but love Lucien more which is why they’re always coming up with HCs where elain is the bad guy that will grovel for Lucien.

Elriel: That Elain and Azriel’s relationship is not important and can be concluded within a paragraph as the bonus already ended elriel. This has to be the most biased take. Just because YOU do not like elriels dynamic and dismiss their scenes as unimportant doesn’t mean everyone else does. There is literally a reason why Sjm had Feyre - her main character- stare at Elriel and wonder why they’re not mates. I have seen an anti today talk about how the foreshadowing/buildup in acowar/acofas isn’t as important as acosf. That alone tells you everything you need to know. Antis will use Sjms words when it suits them and dismiss her words when it doesn’t. Also - ACOSF, where we learn that Az has moved on from Mor, is staying at H.O.W bcs of how strong he feels for elain, Nesta realising Az likes Elain, Elriel literally left off on a charged glance, Azriel being incorporated into the prison plot which we know will go to Elain etc. I think its just becoming clear that antis are grasping at straws to justify shipping Gwynriel/Elucien and “debunking” elriel.

No author ends a couple in a bonus. Sjm does not end her couples’ the way she ended elriel. I think as time is growing closer and especially now that we have an idea at which time the announcement will come - antis are rlly scrambling to proves their ships but its just looking ridiculous. When you’ve created a bubble for yourself filled with people in the same camp as you that will believe anything, it’s easier to remain in the bubble.

Their bubble is going to pop when Sjm announces it is in fact Elains book next.

[seungmin4president]

Sleepover

"You feel so good" hyunjin says between his kisses on your neck while his cock is hitting all the right places inside of you.

"Such a pretty whore hm? Too bad changbin cant see you like this because you're all ours right? Our little slut for only us to use" seungmin says while pulling your head off of his cock to see your pretty fucked out face you could only nod in reply, not trusting your voice.

You're probably wondering how you got in this position. On your hands and knees sucking seungmins cock while hyunjin is fucking your hole so good.

Well basically it all started while you were having a sleepover with the rest of the stray kids members, dahyun, soyeon, and shuhua.

Heres how it went down.

"Y/nah! Truth or dare?" Your friend dahyun said jumping up and down like a child "truth" You responded confidently not knowing what dahyun has under her sleeve but still trusting your gut to not trust her enough to say dare.

"Do you like doing group hugs-"

"Thats a boring question, y/n if you were to have a threesome with two of us who would it be" minho asked cutting dahyun off, well if you were being honest the question dahyun asked was boring but you weren't thinking he would just say that out of the blue so it really caught you off guard.

"What kind of question is that?!" You shout at minho who is across from you, eyes widening. "I wanna know too" changbin says making everyone look at you waiting for your answer. You look at everyones faces to see if they are being for real.

"Im not answering that" you say waving your hands in the air while shaking your head "cmon y/n you have to answer it dont be a boomer" chan says laughing at you "youre already a boomer old man but seriously y/n answer" seungmin says looking at you with dark eyes, if you weren't extremely embarrassed right now you would be able to see the change in his eyes from when he first got to your house and now.

"Okay fine uhmmm maybee.... seungmin and hyunjin??" You say looking down to hide your embarrassment.

Hyunjin and seungmin looks at you with suprised faces then looks at eachother and smirks and everyone else does a dramatic "ooohhh".

"Ahh really y/n?" Changbin says while shaking his head, disappointed in your answer "what? You guys asked and i answered you cant get mad because its not you" you say smirking at changbin while flattening your skirt.

You have a bad taste in men" minho says looking at his phone "its already 11:00 we should get to bed i have somewhere were going tomorrow" he continues while getting up.

"Lee minho its a sleepover, we're meant to stay up until 5am" shuhua says pushing minho back down to the ground "no he's right lets just sleep i dont wanna think about this day again" you say still embarrassed because of what just happend a few minutes ago.

"Ughh fine but im getting a drink before i g-" "no your not" soyeon says cutting shuhua off pushing her to their shared guest room "bye guyss" han says waving at them.

"We're gonna go too" hyunjin says taking your arm in his hand pulling you to your room with seungmin following "wait huh but your ro-" "sh" hyunjin says cutting you off (can you tell i love to write people getting cut off?) Not caring about saying bye to the others.

When you get into the room hyunjin told seungmin to lock the door "why are you telling him to lock the door?" You say looking at hyunjin curiously "wait guys if this is about the game it was just a joke i didn't mean it"

"Oh? So who would you actually have a threesome with" seungmin says walking towards you slowly "yeah.. is it by any chance changbin and minho hyungs?" Hyunjin adds on kissing your neck biting at some spots that will definitely leave marks, you dont even remember when he moved you to sit on his lap on the bed.

"I- uhm" you say stuttering because of the tension in the room "if it is we'll just leave but if not..." seungmin says tracing your thigh with his hand, moving his head to your ear "we wont hold back from fucking you to oblivion" seungmin then starts kissing down the other side of your neck but not biting.

You moaned softly biting your lip "so who is it then y/n" hyunjin says stopping and putting you on the bed so he can stand next to seungmin "its.. you guys" you whispered "hm what was that? You're gonna have to speak up do you want us or no?" Seungmin said looking down at you.

"yes i want you okay? I want you guys and you guys only. Now just come and do something" You say making hyunjin and seungmin smirk walking back towards you "well you're not getting anything with that attitude maybe say it a bit nicer then we will give you what you want" seungmin says while once again tracing your thigh with his finger

"Please just use me seungmin please" you begged. Seungmin looked at hyunjin and hyunjin hummed in delight "as you wish" seungmin says as his hand goes under your skirt.

❗please dont copy my work ❗

❗©️seungmin4president ❗

[mohgreal]

Mr Greal I need to rant about a SOTE thing I was thinking about last night. Fucking. Why not make it so that Mohg and Miquella were collaborating and both had a genuine, shared view of how to change the world? They both want the best for the disenfranchised races of the Lands Between, right? Miquella has the metamorphosing Albinaurics in the Haligtree, Mohg has his little red Mohglets, stuff like that.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if Blood For The Blood God Big Boy Mohg was who Miquella deemed the most kind or worthy or whatever of the demigods? Raaaaagh I’m just so mad how SOTE bulldozed over these two characters and sapped out anything interesting about them.

cw: me being annoying, (long) sote ranting because this fandom hates me for hating but that never stopped me, if you take this seriously its on you sorry . for some reason i get people feel offended by me openly expressing how i feel about some dlc so im still putting this here You Were Warned ....mr greal will add his personal comments .....

tumblr keeps fucking up my keep readinf STOP im sorry

this is my biggest gripe with sote is how boring they made the existing lore. not even 'bad', just very very boring. it's like i got the most boring reddit fanfiction as canon, which sucks because all the new stuff IS interesting. expect now i don't even care because they sucked the interest i had for the lore by doing so. they could've made radahn more interesting by giving him more lore that isn't just "i love war, golden order, and horsey!". they could've gave mohg more lore and depth. they could've made miquella more interesting and a genuinely new and fresh character with hope for once in a game where it's all bleak and misery.

but they didn't. why.

i don't get it and i never will. im convinced they had a different, or possibly worse — multiple teams work on sote because the way the entire dlc is structured, especially the lore and missing elements (no cutscenes for main bosses or black and white art desc) — really screams too many chefs working on one game (dlc). nightreign existing proves my prior theory ive had since sote came out day one

miquella is, to me, the most boring possible route they could've gone. if you believed the charming theory then it was also predictable for like two years so it's not even as shellshocking as the narrative makes it, because the game expects you (in the sense that based off the existing lore you would have the idea that miquella is morally gray) to know this. the issue is that the only real lore really pointing toward miquella being a charm guy is the bewitching branch. two sentences. you're supposed to get that miquella was Bad All Along because of [one] item description. why micheal zaki???? and yes you could say the other item descs hinted at it, but that's all it is, hinting. its vague and you could easily understand it as miquella being the true goodie people in game think he is.

as for the extreme devotion, i don't see how it's supposed to be seen as bad if you didn't know miquella was a charmer when it makes sense for the lands between to cling to the only piece of hope there is. like i would be worshipping him too when he's supposedly the only real kind demigod trying to make a change??? is this just micheal zaki and georgey marty's way of telling us life is miserable and dont trust incestous blondes? ive seen people defend this by saying its a design choice so the player can feel like miquella is good, then get betrayed like his followers so you can feel it too. but this doesn't work because you would have to be attached or at least like miquella which is basically impossible (unless you were a tumblr miquella stan feeding off dust and scraps) since you haven't meet him?? how can i be betrayed by someone whom i haven't even met? miquella is just childish griffith (im sorry to say that name) marika-ranni morally gray "you tried" badge lumped into one and i really miss how interesting he was before his own dlc. not to mention he only shows up piggybacking on his now boyfriend-brother for like one minute; and that's all he gets in his own dlc . if he was at least his own boss instead of lothric-lorian copy pasted but worse i wouldn't be nearly as disappointed

radahn is still boring to me, which he was before as well, his personlity is basically just the modern irl gymbro to me, which is to say i can't see him without his gym (in radahn's case, war or the golden order)

and mohg getting used as a body bag is so unneeded and just feels forced. i didn't even feel sad. the mohgreal (mr greal as called in the ask™️) didn't get sad at mohg being basically used even beyond death. because it didn't need to happen. you could say that's what makes it tragic, but to me it's just a cheap way of forcing radahn back. radahn's soul isn't what makes him powerful, his powers and body is. so just use mohg instead, miquella already had him charmed, did he not?? radahn's soul isn't going to make mohg magically radahn — except oh wait it magically makes mohg radahn all of a sudden even though that's not how it works!!! we literally saw ranni do this exact same thing (just with her own soul) yet radahn is a magic exception??? this is a blatant retcon and people who pretend sote doesn't have retcons feel like they're gaslighting me because this is just one of a few examples of contradicting lore sote gives you. even if you could magically give me a pile of reason to fill the plotholes, it still feels sour because i never needed to do this in the base game

TLDR: sote made me not care about elden ring, and im now back to being a horror addict im sorry. everyone is allowed to rant to me im very bored

[rzyraffek]

Yall im bored and i have dol brainrot. Here u go random mostly sfw headcanons. Most of them are just jokes btw don't take this seriously. Beware i am not dol master so If something is inaccurate pls dont crucify me. Request open btw

Includes: what kind of music they lisen, random stuff they do, ect.

I used they/them for both PC and love intrests so some of those sentences were a hell to write

Tw: me going crazy over Avery (i have issues, pls if what I wrote was weird, just close your eyes and idk explode irl idc)

Random DOL headcanons

Kylar

IM FUCKING CONVINCED that this owl plushy that they give to PC has a camera inside. Im not sure if thats mensioned in game AND I didnt see anyone talk about this. But this dude litteraly says "make sure to put it somewhere high so it can protect you/watch you over" (im not 100% sure what they said but it was along those lines)

Wants to have matching black nails with PC

If their heart wouldnt beat so fast everytime PC gets close to them, Kylar acually would OFTEN fall asleep on PC's lap or shoulder (especially in school)

If s/o is afab, Kylar is defnitly into period sex

Had a huge zombie phase and has whole plan (in details) about how and what to do in case of zombie apocalypse acually happening (and they would acually lighten up if PC mensions anything about zombies, Kylar will talk about them whole night!)

Average phonk listener

Sidney

Sometimes wakes up in middle of night after nighmares and wishes PC would be there

High purity sindey will nervously figet with cross-neckace everytime they have lewd thoughts about PC

Overthinker

Sometimes when they pray together he pretends to have eyes closed but they acually look at PC cuz omg love, you look stunning

Watched Barbie with PC (liked it very much)

Lisens to Mitski

Pure Sydney cried after lisening to cupcake songs

Great Hawk

Dude is a simp

Loves when PC has flowers in their hair, and please give them some too!

If PC praises hawk when they give PC expensive objects (jewellery, wallets, purses ect) this harpy guy/gal will call them "little crow"😭 cuz from Hawks perspective thats how it looked like- they find wife, wife sad, they give shiny, wife happy.

(Alr guys this one is a 50/50 cuz im not sure if harpys have hands? Or just wings?) He discovered hand holding and now he wants to hold PC hand all the time!! But his claws sharp so be careful

Likes when PC has colorful hair

Sounds of Forest and other birds (and bird-people) are only sounds he music he needs 🦅

Got scared bcs there was a rock/metal music concert in city and it was loud and he was very upset

Eden

Dude wants to have kids so bad😭😭

Very tall!

If Pc is tiny/short, this guy/gal will pick them up with one hand and just carry PC back to their home

PLEASE kiss their old scars, and complement them! Eden doesnt really like how they look (they are not insecure but they just dont find time to pamper themselfs and look all fancy)

Sometimes wakes up in middle of night with cold sweat and checks if PC is still there

Conteplated if plant people are eatable

Hates deep water

Will say "I dont lisen to music" and then gets judged by PC and me. ( he enjoys some romantic old songs, i guess he likes Micheal Jackson? Maybe the ink spots??Idk)

Avery

Dude just wants to have good reputation😭😭 and nice looking PC

Tbh I would enjoy Avery-dad-figure content😭 like PC just doing all this stuff just to be accepted by some guy that could be their dad😭 their are fatherless afterall😭. Like hear me out PC just craving platonic love from this dude while he just wants to smash😓 (tbh he is not always doing sexuall stuff, sometimes he just vibes)

Pls dude is like 40 wtf is he doing with his life

*in car* "I swear PC if you say anything more about kpop im leaving you in forest"

Lisens to chrismas music😭

Ivory

Dude ate a squirrel once

I wanna cuddle them

Pls they look wet and cold, give them a nice towel and later blanket

Definitely got scared by their own reflection in mirror once

Can talk to animals

Lisens to gothic music

Likes bugs (months, Beatles, bees)

Alex

Dude lisens to Pitbull while working at farm

Picks PC up and throws them on hay piles for fun

Alex and Remy should settle this beef for good, they both should do kahoot about farm animal knowlage and no more "no its my farm not yours!" Bullshit

Watches soap opera when bored

Wears cowboys hats

Ginger

Leninghton

Rizzing up people twice younger than him (hes like 40 or something)

Enjoys board games and omg he loves card games

Hes probably married tbh

Has reddit account😔

The photos he takes in classes? He sells them

He and Bailey should kiss in meat grinder for beating PC ass for no reason🤩😍

[seokith]

book thief! ㅡ song eunseok

00 : start of the villian arc 😈

sypnosis : song eunseok and y/n didn't know of each other's existence till an incident happened on the 25th of july, summer 2023. after the little incident in the dreamscape bookstore, they had accepted that they were enemies, or that's what eunseok had assumed. they met again at the start of a new school year, and eunseok had wished that they wouldn't cross each other's paths but the universe planned otherwise . .

warning : beware of.. horrible writing 😢

ೀ wc ; 753 .

back ㅡ masterlist ㅡ next

finally, it was time.

as yn tapped on her phone screen, it reads out 16:50 pm meaning, there was enough time for her to reach the bookstore right on time. she quickly put on her shoes with a smile on her face as the thought of kageyama and kenma filled her head and she lowkey.. well.. giggled like a crazy person. even her younger brother who passed her gave her a weird look.. not that yn cared, of course.

once ready, she bolted out of her newly moved-in house and headed straight for dreamscape bookstore. she knew that if she arrived late, she wouldn't stand a chance of getting the newly released volume of haikyuu, so she ran as fast as an olympic sprinter. the hot summer air, mixed with a light breeze, kissed her face as she ran, making her look like she was in a k-drama.

the loud sound of the bookstore door being thrown open filled the air as yn barged in. mr nanami, sitting at the counter, frowned at the sudden interruption of his peace.

“yn, i told you to quit opening the doors like that. you’re going break it.” mr nanami scolded the young girl as she rushed to his desk.

“i’m sorry mr nanami, i wont do it again but do you still have t-the—“ her words were shortly cut off as she tried to catch her breath.

mr nanami raised an eyebrow at the state she’s in and once he understood, he couldn’t help but to chuckle and took the last remaining copy of the haikyuu 37th volume.

“holy shit! mr nanami are you being serious?!” she exclaimed with her eyes shining… literally.

“why? don’t want it? i can just take it back.” mr nanami responded with a bored tone, clearly trying to threaten her and of course, yn fell for it since.. its not his first time doing it.

“no, no! you did this last time and you actually did! no way in hell im letting you take it back when its in my hands.” she replied in a panicked voice.

just how bad had mr nanami traumatised her, geez..

as yn was about to leave, another loud opening of the door echoed through the store and mr nanami couldn’t help but to groan louder. seriously! the store is going to break its door one day.

“mr nanami, do you still have the copy of the new haikyuu volume?” a young man hastily walked over to mr nanami’s desk.

“no, she has it.” mr nanami answered curtly.

the young man snapped his head towards yn and swiftly moved to her location with a determined gaze and asked,

“can i have that book? i usually get it when it’s released here.”

“what? can’t you see its already in my hands? better luck next time.” yn answered sassily.

irritated with her tone, the young man stretched his hand and tried to take it out of her grasp but yn was quick enough to grip the book hard.

“give it to me!”

“no! i got it first, the fuck!?”

“im the one who always gets it first!”

“maybe its not your lucky day!”

and so it continues.. they kept that on going for god, knows how long and mr nanami was far more than irritated than before. ‘fine whatever, they’re teens,’ he convinced himself but he felt himself ticked when they bumped into a display in the corner.

“for the love of god, can you two take this outside!? be careful of that book! if any of you tears it, you guys have to pay at a full price, i dont care!” mr nanami suddenly burst from his desk.

“yn, eunseok, you’re both old enough to not act like kids so stop it! even haku who’s a five year old, behave better. out of my store, now.” mr nanami shook his head in exasperation.

sensing the young man who she knew by now is named eunseok distracted, yn quickly took the chance and ran out of the bookstore as quickly as possible.

“h-hey, wait! you book thief! wait up!” eunseok snapped out of his trance and went out of the bookstore seconds right after the girl blew off.

as he went out, he tried to take note of where yn ran off but to his luck, she couldn’t be founded. with an annoyed sigh, he scrambled to take out his phone to let out his frustration without forgetting to sigh,

“tsk, that book thief.. ill catch you when i can.”

taglist 🐾 @gacktsa @secretiny @molensworld