#im so bad at auditioning though and im not actually talented so im cooked

[transannabeth]

found my old theater tag from when i did theater and getting really really upset again deep breaths

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! music idol au (karasuno ver.)

at long last here it is!! also most of this is based on my knowledge about kpop groups and the industry (as a kpop fan) but i made a lot of tweaks and i’m basically imagining this in a world where the kpop industry wasn’t so hard on its idols and churning out commodities. but yeah! this is going to be the first part of a series so stay tuned for more! also this is p long because i added hc’s for kiyoko and yachi >~<

okay so in my head karasuno (or KRSN im sorry im bad at coming up with names) is like one of those really large groups that hav sub-groups kinda like NCT

they're from a fairly small entertainment company called umm KS Entertainment (im sorry im bad at names hnghn pt. 2)

its headed by ukai who's also like a really awesome choreographer and takeda who's like YG if YG had an exact opposite really kind twin who actually values their idols

(sorry im really salty)

takeda is honestly the sweetest, he's responsible for scouting and judging auditions

he'll basically let anyone who appears to put their all in pass the audition

he also likes to take care of all the trainees and make sure ukai hasn't made them dance to death

production crew are: ennoshita, kinoshita, and narita

kinoshita's like responsible for planning the concepts for every comeback

sometimes he thinks of really wild ones and ukai's jus like whoa there lets tone it down a bit

narita tag-teams with kinoshita by being karasuno's amazing stylist

his favorite person to style is suga but dont tell anyone that

and lastly we have ennoshita who singlehandedly produces every track on every album

he's also a really good vocal coach

and he's very tired because he's the producer and he also has to deal with tanaka and noya knocking on his door every five minutes

subgroup (night) KRSN-N

consists of: daichi, suga, asahi, noya, and tanaka

ok so karasuno has basically two main types of concepts: night (which is more like rugged and bad boy) and day (which is more boy-next-door and sweet)

the night subgroup has like a very strong rap line consisting of daichi, noya, and tanaka while for vocals we have suga and asahi

daichi is their leader ofc

he, suga, and asahi were in the same batch of trainees and had to (survive) live with each other for quite a while

his rap skills are really consistent and he has really good flow. also tends to start off their songs

his dancing skills are also impressive and basically just a great all-around guy

he's also really stressed from managing his group members esp because they're all children

asahi is one of their only two vocalists but he also has some good skills with music production and likes to work with ennoshita

he has a really deep but mellow voice

really shy when it comes to being onstage and meeting fans but he has the sweetest smile

tanaka is part of their dance line because boy can he bust out the moves

doesn't mind performing without a shirt. kinoshita has styled with him just wearing a jacket most of the time

his stage presence is just woah

the kind of performer who'd really get up close and personal with cameras and also people's phones

everything about him screams bad boy except for when he's really sweet in fansigns

noya is like their lightning-fast rapper who always comes in during the bridge

takeda heard him rap for barely a minute and quickly signed him in

more often than not enters the stage while piggybacking tanaka or asahi

also an amazing dancer who does all the gravity defying flips and jumps

he was invited more than once to collab with other artists

he and tanaka are trainee buddies and were inseparable ever since they ran into each other naked in the shower room

now for suga

he's like main visuals also main vocals also main dancer

was talented ever since he sprouted from the womb

he actually didn't audition his mom posted a video of him covering 'euphoria' by jungkook which takeda happened to come across

his voice is very high and he often harmonizes with asahi during the chorus

also tends to be really affectionate with daichi onstage and everywhere basically

so many 'daisuga being karasuno's parents for 15 mins' videos

subgroup (day) KRSN - D

NOW WE HAVE THE CHILDREN CHILDREN

okay so these guys have been together since their trainee years and basically had to live in the same room

which was like chaotic because they were always fighting and only yamaguchi knew how to do laundry so everyone was trying to be his friend

until daichi and takeda gave them a little pep talk so they don't hate each other so much now

n e weigh

first up we have yamaguchi who is basically jus very boy-next-door and also the unofficial leader of the group

he has an amazing voice and can hit the highest notes and he has a tendency to wink at the cameras

main vocalist and visuals

his fans love him because he's just so sweet

sometimes daichi comes in to check on how he's doing and treats him to a meal

he likes to check on other members during live shows

looks stunning in white suits also the fans made a petition for him to grow out his hair and now his hair is long

he and tsukishima have both dreamed of becoming idols and auditioned together

tsukishima's the main (only) rapper of the group

my brain: hnGhh rapper tsukki nskdkssm

he had to work on his stage presence but when he finally Got It he is such a master at it

also had to work on his dancing because he looked like a wiggling beanpole at first

most of his lines are actually written by him esp because he didn't want to say anything that felt embarassing for him and ukai was like 'why dont u write ur songs then?' and he's like 'mAYBE I WILL'

hinata's our other main vocalist, also main visuals and main dancer

his voice is p ordinary but whats great about him is that he's able to keep it consistent while busting out the hardest moves

personally learned a lot of his dancing from noya and tanaka

also he's always in the center because he's short and he looks adorable

he can nail the high notes too btw

he's the kind of idol who has the most random and funniest videos on twitter

kageyama's like their genius maknae

he had been training for such a long time and he actually wanted to be booked for another entertainment company but was rejected (hmm i wonder which company this was ??)

but he was a fan after seeing suga practicing when he toured the company and decided to join KRSN

he's in the vocal line as well and also main dancer

his voice is a lot lower so he harmonizes with yamaguchi and hinata

he and hinata were very competitive when it came to dancing during their trainee days

but they balance each other out pretty well and like to choreograph dance breaks together

super shy around fans and fansigns

most of the pics of him have kageyama doing the peace sign because he's awkward af

KRSN as a whole

takeda and ukai really encourage all of them bonding together and taking breaks in between all the stress of practicing and performing

they all live in one big house and its really chaotic

very few people know how to cook and do laundry

also there is an average of 2 accidents per week

but they do get along when it comes to practicing for the next comeback, especially when the subgroups have to collab

ennoshita's studio is a mess of sticky notes and crumpled up paper with probs asahi, daichi, tsukishima, and ennoshita napping on a couch

suga loves being able to train hinata and yamaguchi with vocals and they have a project of covering a new song every week for the fans

tanaka, noya, kageyama and hinata also spend a lot of time in the dance studio

whenever there's a new song they like to come up with movements to add to the choreography

after a really hard day of dancing they end up falling asleep in the studio and waking up to take-out courtesy of takeda

photoshoots and styling sessions take forever since there are so many of them but also its a good time for the members to get some sleep

but kinoshita and narita do not but in the end its all worth it when they see the photos and the reactions from the fans

their music and performances are very varied since they like to show that they're versatile as much as they can

they don't really prioritize being precise and flawless, more on channeling the emotion of their songs and power in their dances

no two performances of the same song are ever the same 

KIYOKO

okay so takeda also had this genius idea of bringing out solo acts and after another round of auditions, kiyoko caught his eye

she's a bit older with idol training and recently left the group she was supposed to debut with because the company didn't treat them right

my girl kiyoko knows her rights

she's basically an all-around talent: good at singing, dancing, rapping, and visuals

takeda knew he would be dumb to overlook her and even though they've mostly been producing boy bands, maybe they'll have success with a solo female idol

kiyoko was very clear abt wanting to have more control over how she was going to be presented and also wanted the opportunity to write her own songs

and takeda and ukai were jus like well yeah duh, that's why we scouted you

kiyoko was like an immediate success

her style is def very sassy and sexy, especially with her dancing ability

kind of like Chungha or Hwasa

but her fans also like her more melancholic and deep songs that are accompanied by her piano playing

she's also super confident and loves to use her platform to empower women

sometimes she does get together with the KRSN members

she collabs pretty often with suga esp when it comes to dance covers and performances

the day she asked tanaka and noya to be back-up rappers for one of her songs was the happiest moment of their lives

kiyoko's a fucking queen

HITOKA

because i wrote hc's for kiyoko i have to make one for yachi too

she's quite interesting because yachi joined like one of those idol training shows and kiyoko happened to be a guest judge

watching yachi sing made her sense some sort of potential so kiyoko being the bad ass bitch she is convinced takeda and ukai to work with her

yachi almost died hearing that Queen Kiyoko thought she had potential

her first years training to be an idol were really tough on her, esp since she was aiming to be a solo act

but she spent a lot of time training with the KRSN - D group and they really helped boost her confidence

everyone in KRSN and kiyoko asked their fans on twitter to support her when yachi's first album dropped

yachi's music is super mellow and light and she has a very sweet, high voice

comeback stages and music video shootings are pretty scary for her but she really shines in live, studio sessions

also knows how to play guitar

writes her own songs !!!

during her first fan meeting she prepared a bunch of presents for her fans and was scared that no one would come but a whole bunch of people did and she was so happy she almost cried

haikyuu!! music idol au series: karasuno vers., seijoh and shiratorizawa vers., nekoma and fukurodani vers.

[starrywinters]

Shinyuu — Reverse Idol!AU A Hwang Minhyun Fanfic

requested by anon!

genre: fluff? its a happy ending, a lil bit of angst (doesn’t hurt your heart angst)

synopsis: you’re best friends with Minhyun and lose contact after a bit, then meet back at a music show.

shinyuu - japanese for best friends

While walking to class with your best friend, scrolling through his news feed on twitter, Minhyun sees that JYP and Pledis are holding auditions on the upcoming weekend.

��Hey, Y/N! Let’s audition to become idols! Follow our dreams you know!”

Next thing you know, you two auditioned for both companies, but you got accepted into JYP and he got accepted into Pledis

Knowing that you won’t be in the same company saddens the both of you, but your mood brightens a little as you remembered that you’ll be seeing each other on music shows when you debut!

“Let’s meet each other in music shows, Minhyun!” “Yeah.”

(ok i know some trainees cant use phones??? But let’s pretend they can for the time being-)

As days go by, there hasn’t been a single moment where you’d doubt yourself into ever debuting

“Minhyun-ah, I don’t think I can do it, i’m not as talented. I want to quit..”

“You can’t! Y/N, this is our dream remember? You’re awesome, lovable, and you ARE talented ok?? Anyone who says otherwise can come fite me )):<”

Knowing you can always count on Minhyun to dissolve your worries, you divert the topic, “Yeah? You and what army? Because as far as I know, all you have is your pretty face! I DON’T SeE No muSCleS??”

“liSteN, 

everYONE WIll faint once they sEE M Y FACE OK? Don’t underestimate me, Emperor Hwang. I’ll have you know, I can predict the future.”

“And what do you see, Oh Mighty Emperor Hwang Minhyun-ssi?”

“I see that we both will have debuted already, we’ll meet on music shows, and we’ll always stay by each other’s side. Hyping each other up, doing what best friends do! Nothing will ever change that, trust the emperor.”

I’ll remember your words, Minhyun. You better not break them.

DEBUT DAY YOU MADE IT AND SO DID MINHYUN

You two were scheduled to perform your debut song on M!Countdown in two weeks

The first few days were of you two spamming congratulatory messages and crying to each other

However, the third day, it was only you spamming him. Fourth day, no reply, fifth? No reply.

You made excuses for him, He’s just busy. He couldn’t have forgotten about me already?? It’s too soon??? Maybe his phone got taken away….yeah, maybe..

A few days later, you were in need of some food, because you can’t cook. (lbr i cant cook, i really cant. This is based off on me? Somewhat? So if i offended your cooking skills, i am jeongmal, jinjja, daebak, real, heol, wanjeon sorry)

Walking into the supermarket, you accidentally bumped into someone who randomly stopped at the entrance. 

“Ah! Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundi- MinhYUN?? IS IT REALLY YOU? Why have you bEEN ignorING MY MESSAGES JERK!”

“Ah, hello! Sorry, it was my fault too, I lost my phone somewhere and how do you know me? Who are you?”

‘Who are you?’ ‘WhoareyouwhoareyouwhoareyOU’

Waving his hand in front of your face, “Hello? Miss? I have a schedule to go to, you see, I’m an idol, so I really have to go. I’m sorry for blocking your path! Have a nice day!” And he smiles that smile that you’ve grown fond of. Wait, what’s this? Is he pretending?? WHaT’s hAPPEninG?

Hours passed by, and the thought of Minhyun acting fake still remains in your head. What happened to him? Am I not worthy of his friendship anymore? Why is he like this?

“Review of some past events; NU’EST Minhyun -you snap out of your thoughts hearing his name- has recently been involved in a car accident, he….”

cAR ACcidENT??? WHY AM I ONLY HEARING OF THIS NOW?? 

Rushing to Pledis, in search for answers, you find Minhyun’s manager (he’s shown you a pic of his manager before). 

“Ah! Minhyun’s manager! WHAT HAPPENED TO MINHYUN? I’M Y/N HIS BEST FRIEND, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BESTIE.”

“Oh, Y/N-ssi! Did you run all the way here?? Sit down for a bit, I’ll tell you what happened.”

Minhyun was coming back from a schedule and the freeway was really hectic so they chose to go local. Bad decision, there was a drunk driver on the loose and Minhyun’s car was unfortunately chosen as the target. There was a miracle! Sort of. He didn’t have any major damages to his body, but he lost his memories of his past. From the day of the accident and back. You know what they say, people choose to forget their past to start anew. But he couldn’t have wanted to forget it, would he? I mean, you were a part of his past..

However, this is only temporary, he’d get his memories back soon. Hopefully. ???

The day of the music show, you were extremely tired. You even thought you’d end up with white hair with how worried you were about Minhyun’s well-being and pondering for days if he actually didn’t want to remember you. No, stop it Y/N. He would never want to forget you, he made a promise. He has to keep it, he has to..’

NU’EST performed first, you were praying for Minhyun to not mess up, even if he didn’t remember you, you remembered him. Even if he didn’t remember the promise, you did.

As they ended their performance, and walked down the stage, he passes by you and smiles at you. Then pauses, wait, “Hey! I remember you, you were the girl from the supermarket!”

You awkwardly smiled and agreed, he felt bad and wanted to repay you, so he grabs your arm -even though you’ve protested, it went into one ear and out the other- and stops you in front of a vending machine, “Pick one!” he smiles cutely.

After many futile attempts of stopping him from buying you a drink, he presses a button and a drink falls down, Shocked, that was your favorite drink. “How did you know that was the drink I like, Minhyun?”

“I- i don’t know? My hand just automatically pressed it..” His heart(?) remembers me..just gotta work on his mind. Confidence, UP!

You spilled your guts to him, told him evERYTHING. How you two were the best of friends, others were jealous of your friendship. How the both of you have made so many enemies, some tried to sabotage your friendship, but nothing can break the royal friendship between you two. 

Sadly, he doesn’t remember any of them. Nothing, nada, nah, no. ))):

You see a staff running towards your direction yelling that it’s almost your turn; turning to where Minhyun was sitting at, you see that he’s in the midst of his thoughts (he’s having flashybackys, he’s getting his memoriES BACK)

Not wanting to disturb him, you walk away to get ready for your performance.

You’re a solo artist AND the last one to perform, so that makes things more nerve-wracking. Everyone will be able to notice every. little. mistake you make. 

Trying to calm your racing heart, and failing miserably at that, you try to think of calming thoughts. However, the only thing you can think of is Minhyun nOT remembering you.

Shaky breaths, sweaty palms, racing heart, taking step by step up the stage, you feel a hand stop you. A familiar touch on your arm, Minhyun. 

“Hey, Y/N! Good luck out there, you can do it! Remember? We’ll meet on music shows, and we’ll always stay by each other’s side.” ‘Hyping each other up, doing what best friends do! Nothing will ever change that, trust the emperor.’ “Let’s hang out soon, we have a lot of catching up to do. MY BESTIE FIGHTING!”

He remembers. He.. he remembers! Stepping onto stage, in front of screaming fans, you perform with the biggest smile. All worries, disappeared.

unedited! this took awhile omg jakfjdna im such a procrastinator-

im very emo right now, i couldn’t really add angst into this.. or make this fluffy... BUT I MADE IT A HAPPY ENDING- it counts right... OTL

hoyaaaaaa TT^TT

i hope you like this, like really. i really really really (winner hAH) do ♡

[jennyleeworks]

interview

Interview: Justin Kwak

1.21.17, 1:30pm, 00:15:27

 Me: Tell me a story.

-pause-

-chuckles-

J: What kind of story?

Me: Any story.

J: Any story?

-pause-

J: mmmm…

-pause-

J: What do you wanna know?

-pause-

Me: Anything.

J: Anything?

Me: Yeah.

       Any story. Just tell me a story.

J: A story?

Me: Yeah.

J: …Real or fake?

Me: It doesn’t matter

J: Really? Mm..

-pause-

  I don’t know.. I’ll talk about my family cuz that’s the easiest thing for me.

   Um…. I’ll tell you a story about myself.. eh..

-laughter-

    I was.. I was.. alright..uh.. I was born in Seattle, um.. but I moved to northern Virginia, like, two years after, and.. from there my dad started his, uh, his-- he started practicing law in Virginia. But then.. uh, not really but then, but it’s really.. I moved around a lot. So.. this is weird.

-laughter-

    Um.. I started out and I was predomnily—pre-dom-i-nant-ly raised in Loudoun County. um.. the.. I.. even within Loudoun County, because school districts changed a lot. Uh.. I lived in different.. mm I went to different schools, so.. it was interesting. Um.. my parents are both music majors, so they love music, and they’re like-- they’re-- like, borderline prodigy for music. And, uh, when I was, um, born, when me and my sister were born, they were both really really hyped about, um, us because they thought we would be like ~musical prodigies of the world~, but then, uh… they found out that that was not true the first practice

-laughter-

  When I first played piano, uh, my dad walked into the practice room and was like.. “you suck”

-muffled laughter-

  So I literally, from that day I was like “I’m not playing anymore,” so I quit piano. My mom, uh, she taught violin to me. Um… during practices, when she leaves the room, I would use the violin as, like, a biolax (?) with, and the, or like a shield, and use the bow as a sword and I would fight off imaginary things inside the library. Um.. so I knew violin wasn’t it, either.

-laughter-

  So, my parents gave up on me in terms of musical talents.. but.. I think….. there.. I.. I wanna say i..i.. I’m not really musically talented but I really enjoy music.. um.. not really so much instrumentally, but more so vocally? Or just… in terms of listening to music? Um..

-pause-

  I got really involved within choir starting from middle school.. um.. I had a, I had this really… really.. I don’t know what else to say but fat –chuckling- choir director, um, he was like a, this, he sa-- he sang like an angel but he looked like… he looked like a—like the girl from Willy Wonka that ate the blueberry.

-laughter-

  but, um.. he taught me a lot about singing and music, so I really really enjoyed choir, uh.. so, like, that was in middle school.. um… I- I got really into singing and I did districts every year, um.. it was to the point where, where one year I actually got number one in districts, in terms of score, but.. uh.. and then my, my choir director, the chubby guy, he let me, um… he didn’t let me fr-- audition for regionals, but he let me do states. I got into states, but.. I don’t think he thought I was good enough for regionals, so then, after that, uh, a-after getting into states, I thought that was kinda the end for me, but I really really enjoyed that experience, um… I think… I think now since we’re kinda on the theme of music.. um..

-pause-

  I don’t know… I don’t know what else to say…. But.. I really enjoyed music

-laughter-

  Oh, when I was growing up in music, I think, um.. the two biggest things for me and my family was music and food, um… if we’re not eating or cooking, my parents’d be practicing, um.. my dad would sing and play piano and my mom would play violin.. um… I wouldn’t really be practicing cuz im just eating, but

-laughter-

  um.. yea, uh…. All the time… we spent together is.. uh, even when we go out, its like we go to see concerts. Not like rock concerts, but we’d go to.. my dad always took initiative to take us to Kennedy Center or, um, different musical events, so that we would be more cultured, and also enjoy the things they enjoy, um.. cuz they’re both uh, mas – they both have masters in music.. um.

-long pause-

  I think..

-pause-

  ..the best part about having musical parents is that.. uh… they can express how they feel not only through how they speak to you, but how they play. Like, when my mom gets frustrated sometimes, she would just throw a little tantrum and just pick up her violin and play, like, angry music, but, like, its, like, angry but its so beautiful and that’s cuz she’s so good, so, its really fun to see how, um.. they use music in their daily lives, um.. and I think also.. music and their relationship has.. been.. it empowers the relationship, uh.. because the connections they make by playing music together is really, is really pretty, uh.. like, back in, uh.. back in NOVA, we had l—we had.. a really nice piano, and, every night my parents would play together. Uh, my room was upstairs like right above the music room, uh, every night I would hear my dad sing and my mom play violin to, like, worship songs, or just any classical music, so..

-pause-

  I think... music has the ability to really strengthen relationships, and..

-pause-

  now we’re talking about relationships, interesting.. uh.. speaking of relationships!,.. that’s kinda weird but, er- anyways, uh.. I think.. my mom and dad’s relationship is really special, um… they’re not particularly like, the stereotypical movie love, or like they’re head over heels for each other, but.. um.. they’re very consistent, um.. everyday they see each other.. like.. they don’t hug, they don’t kiss, they don’t hold hands, they’re more like brother and sister, but, um.. they.. they really show that they appreciate each other, um.. I think... that’s ideal? But, um..

-pause-

  I’ll talk about my dad and my mom. I don’t know, I can only talk about my family right now, cuzilovemyfamly, um.. my dad.. he’s really hard working, um.. he makes so many sacrifices for us, and.. my mom, she makes so many sacrifices for us, she gave up her music career just to raise us, um… I think, as m-- as sm--.. whuh…  I feel—I feel bad for both my mom and dad cuz they did so much, like my dad, um, like, at one point in Korea, we were—we were like, so like ninth grade we moved to Korea, um.. I went to an online high school called George Washington Online High School, and… it was so expensive. like, it’s more expensive than the tuition here. Like, one year of that online high school is, would be like 8 years here.. so literally, my dad was struggling so much to, uh, provide financial support for that, and it was to the point where, um…

-pause-

  its kinda down low but he sold all his valuables to provide for my education, um.. like, he gave up his watches, his rings, except for his engagement ring, and.. um, he didn’t—he didn’t even tell me until, like, like a year later; we were freaking out. Wer—we thought that when he packed the—his stuff, like, the Chinese people took it or something, like, umm.. he—he doesn’t like making us worry about anything so he would do everything behind the scenes.. and then.. my mom too, um…

-pause-

  she never complains about how, like.. how.. she w—she—I guess she does regret not starting a professional career in music, because she coulda gotten really far, but she chose not to. So.. I think that’s.. a very big burden to me, um.. especially starting college now, like… I wanna do really well so that, um.. later on, they don’t have to make any more sacrifices, mm.. like… I promised my dad that I would work really hard so that everything he pays back we pay back ten times more. My mom, I wanna-- I wanna be able to, um, make her travel more cuz she loves traveling, um..

-pause-

  So overall, I think… growing up… I got to see th—the highs and lows of my parents, um.. I’ve seen how… how f—money plays a part eh—and—how relationships, and how family, and, uh.. is a lot more important than anything else, uh, even though, uh.. we lived here broke, even if.. we eat, like, the same thing every single day, it’s all through love, so, I think, uh, family is a huge part of my life, uh.. and, I don’t know, I don’t know what else to say.

-pause-

  Mmm.. my sister! I have a sister!

-laughter-

  and I have a dog! I got my dog in Kor—I’ll talk about my dog first. I love my dog. Her name is Kiwi, she’s about… - gestures to arm- the size of my forearm, um.. she’s 10 pounds—she’s 9.8 pounds, she has like golden slash brown fur, she’s a… she’s a mix.. we’re not exactly sure but we think she’s a little bit a everything, but, we got her in Korea, uh..

-pause-

  I think she hates me.. but,

-laughter-

  I don’t know, she loves—it’s a love-hate relationship. Um, in Korea, when she wasn’t potty trained, she pooped in—SHE ONLY pooped and peed in my room.. I don’t know if she hates me but,

-laughter-

  At one point I hated her, but then, um, I think, she’s a big part of our family, she always makes us smile, um.. she’s really lazy, she loves to eat like us, uh, she sings along when my mom practices violin, um.. that’s my dog. I love my dog.

 Uh my sister.. she’s really needy, like.. she’s—she’s exact opposite of me, she loves—she loves, like, giving hugs to me, she loves, um, taking pictures, she loves, um.. she’s very…. Clingy?.. but..I guess that’s how she shows her affection towards me?.. but, I feel kinda bad cu—we talked about this yesterday, uh, she messaged me yesherdey—yes-ter-day, about how, how she feels

-laughter followed by pause-

  she feels as though I don’t love her, and the only reason why I love her is because she’s family and if she wasn’t family I wouldn’t care for her. So, I felt kinda bad but it was kinda late so I told her to go to sleep cushe—I thought she was—she was going weird. She has these moments where, um…. I… she just becomes really weird. Like, uh... Sh—there was this time this summer, we were just sitting down doing homework and she would grab, like, the nearest fruit and, like, throw it at me, and she like… she’s weird. Um.. she played a really big part in how I was raised, uh.. cuz my dad’s always working, my mom taught a lot of violin, so, um.. a lot of the days it was just me and my sister, so, I think she raised me a lot.. she’s…

-pause-

  Yeah she raised me a lot, in terms of, um.. being proper, being more.. um.. like controlling my behavior while my parents were more.. discipline, um… but.. sometimes I feel bad about not giving her enough affection, but sometimes I don’t because I feel as though, like, if I give her affection… then, um…

-pause-

  I don’t know.. I feel.. it’s—it’s a very interesting relationship between me and her, uh… I think, right now, the closest person I am with--.. like the closest.. I am.. t—mm – nuh.. what do I say? How do you—how do you phrase this? The closest person to me right now, in terms of, um, comfort, um, and…

-pause-

-phone vibrates from text message-

  It’s my sister.

-laughter-

  um.. in terms of everything is actually my sister, uh.. what’s next?

-pause-

  goinof.. (?) okay! I talked about my family, I talked about my sister, I talked about my parents, I talked about my dog, um... what else… Do you have any questions? About my family?

Me: I think while you were talking you answered all the questions I had.

J: Oh really?

Me: Yeah.