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jennyleeworks · 8 years ago

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interview

Interview: Justin Kwak

1.21.17, 1:30pm, 00:15:27

Me: Tell me a story.

-pause-

-chuckles-

J: What kind of story?

Me: Any story.

J: Any story?

-pause-

J: mmmm…

-pause-

J: What do you wanna know?

-pause-

Me: Anything.

J: Anything?

Me: Yeah.

Any story. Just tell me a story.

J: A story?

Me: Yeah.

J: …Real or fake?

Me: It doesn’t matter

J: Really? Mm..

-pause-

I don’t know.. I’ll talk about my family cuz that’s the easiest thing for me.

Um…. I’ll tell you a story about myself.. eh..

-laughter-

I was.. I was.. alright..uh.. I was born in Seattle, um.. but I moved to northern Virginia, like, two years after, and.. from there my dad started his, uh, his-- he started practicing law in Virginia. But then.. uh, not really but then, but it’s really.. I moved around a lot. So.. this is weird.

-laughter-

Um.. I started out and I was predomnily—pre-dom-i-nant-ly raised in Loudoun County. um.. the.. I.. even within Loudoun County, because school districts changed a lot. Uh.. I lived in different.. mm I went to different schools, so.. it was interesting. Um.. my parents are both music majors, so they love music, and they’re like-- they’re-- like, borderline prodigy for music. And, uh, when I was, um, born, when me and my sister were born, they were both really really hyped about, um, us because they thought we would be like ~musical prodigies of the world~, but then, uh… they found out that that was not true the first practice

-laughter-

When I first played piano, uh, my dad walked into the practice room and was like.. “you suck”

-muffled laughter-

So I literally, from that day I was like “I’m not playing anymore,” so I quit piano. My mom, uh, she taught violin to me. Um… during practices, when she leaves the room, I would use the violin as, like, a biolax (?) with, and the, or like a shield, and use the bow as a sword and I would fight off imaginary things inside the library. Um.. so I knew violin wasn’t it, either.

-laughter-

So, my parents gave up on me in terms of musical talents.. but.. I think….. there.. I.. I wanna say i..i.. I’m not really musically talented but I really enjoy music.. um.. not really so much instrumentally, but more so vocally? Or just… in terms of listening to music? Um..

-pause-

I got really involved within choir starting from middle school.. um.. I had a, I had this really… really.. I don’t know what else to say but fat –chuckling- choir director, um, he was like a, this, he sa-- he sang like an angel but he looked like… he looked like a—like the girl from Willy Wonka that ate the blueberry.

-laughter-

but, um.. he taught me a lot about singing and music, so I really really enjoyed choir, uh.. so, like, that was in middle school.. um… I- I got really into singing and I did districts every year, um.. it was to the point where, where one year I actually got number one in districts, in terms of score, but.. uh.. and then my, my choir director, the chubby guy, he let me, um… he didn’t let me fr-- audition for regionals, but he let me do states. I got into states, but.. I don’t think he thought I was good enough for regionals, so then, after that, uh, a-after getting into states, I thought that was kinda the end for me, but I really really enjoyed that experience, um… I think… I think now since we’re kinda on the theme of music.. um..

-pause-

I don’t know… I don’t know what else to say…. But.. I really enjoyed music

-laughter-

Oh, when I was growing up in music, I think, um.. the two biggest things for me and my family was music and food, um… if we’re not eating or cooking, my parents’d be practicing, um.. my dad would sing and play piano and my mom would play violin.. um… I wouldn’t really be practicing cuz im just eating, but

-laughter-

um.. yea, uh…. All the time… we spent together is.. uh, even when we go out, its like we go to see concerts. Not like rock concerts, but we’d go to.. my dad always took initiative to take us to Kennedy Center or, um, different musical events, so that we would be more cultured, and also enjoy the things they enjoy, um.. cuz they’re both uh, mas – they both have masters in music.. um.

-long pause-

I think..

-pause-

..the best part about having musical parents is that.. uh… they can express how they feel not only through how they speak to you, but how they play. Like, when my mom gets frustrated sometimes, she would just throw a little tantrum and just pick up her violin and play, like, angry music, but, like, its, like, angry but its so beautiful and that’s cuz she’s so good, so, its really fun to see how, um.. they use music in their daily lives, um.. and I think also.. music and their relationship has.. been.. it empowers the relationship, uh.. because the connections they make by playing music together is really, is really pretty, uh.. like, back in, uh.. back in NOVA, we had l—we had.. a really nice piano, and, every night my parents would play together. Uh, my room was upstairs like right above the music room, uh, every night I would hear my dad sing and my mom play violin to, like, worship songs, or just any classical music, so..

-pause-

I think... music has the ability to really strengthen relationships, and..

-pause-

now we’re talking about relationships, interesting.. uh.. speaking of relationships!,.. that’s kinda weird but, er- anyways, uh.. I think.. my mom and dad’s relationship is really special, um… they’re not particularly like, the stereotypical movie love, or like they’re head over heels for each other, but.. um.. they’re very consistent, um.. everyday they see each other.. like.. they don’t hug, they don’t kiss, they don’t hold hands, they’re more like brother and sister, but, um.. they.. they really show that they appreciate each other, um.. I think... that’s ideal? But, um..

-pause-

I’ll talk about my dad and my mom. I don’t know, I can only talk about my family right now, cuzilovemyfamly, um.. my dad.. he’s really hard working, um.. he makes so many sacrifices for us, and.. my mom, she makes so many sacrifices for us, she gave up her music career just to raise us, um… I think, as m-- as sm--.. whuh… I feel—I feel bad for both my mom and dad cuz they did so much, like my dad, um, like, at one point in Korea, we were—we were like, so like ninth grade we moved to Korea, um.. I went to an online high school called George Washington Online High School, and… it was so expensive. like, it’s more expensive than the tuition here. Like, one year of that online high school is, would be like 8 years here.. so literally, my dad was struggling so much to, uh, provide financial support for that, and it was to the point where, um…

-pause-

its kinda down low but he sold all his valuables to provide for my education, um.. like, he gave up his watches, his rings, except for his engagement ring, and.. um, he didn’t—he didn’t even tell me until, like, like a year later; we were freaking out. Wer—we thought that when he packed the—his stuff, like, the Chinese people took it or something, like, umm.. he—he doesn’t like making us worry about anything so he would do everything behind the scenes.. and then.. my mom too, um…

-pause-

she never complains about how, like.. how.. she w—she—I guess she does regret not starting a professional career in music, because she coulda gotten really far, but she chose not to. So.. I think that’s.. a very big burden to me, um.. especially starting college now, like… I wanna do really well so that, um.. later on, they don’t have to make any more sacrifices, mm.. like… I promised my dad that I would work really hard so that everything he pays back we pay back ten times more. My mom, I wanna-- I wanna be able to, um, make her travel more cuz she loves traveling, um..

-pause-

So overall, I think… growing up… I got to see th—the highs and lows of my parents, um.. I’ve seen how… how f—money plays a part eh—and—how relationships, and how family, and, uh.. is a lot more important than anything else, uh, even though, uh.. we lived here broke, even if.. we eat, like, the same thing every single day, it’s all through love, so, I think, uh, family is a huge part of my life, uh.. and, I don’t know, I don’t know what else to say.

-pause-

Mmm.. my sister! I have a sister!

-laughter-

and I have a dog! I got my dog in Kor—I’ll talk about my dog first. I love my dog. Her name is Kiwi, she’s about… - gestures to arm- the size of my forearm, um.. she’s 10 pounds—she’s 9.8 pounds, she has like golden slash brown fur, she’s a… she’s a mix.. we’re not exactly sure but we think she’s a little bit a everything, but, we got her in Korea, uh..

-pause-

I think she hates me.. but,

-laughter-

I don’t know, she loves—it’s a love-hate relationship. Um, in Korea, when she wasn’t potty trained, she pooped in—SHE ONLY pooped and peed in my room.. I don’t know if she hates me but,

-laughter-

At one point I hated her, but then, um, I think, she’s a big part of our family, she always makes us smile, um.. she’s really lazy, she loves to eat like us, uh, she sings along when my mom practices violin, um.. that’s my dog. I love my dog.

Uh my sister.. she’s really needy, like.. she’s—she’s exact opposite of me, she loves—she loves, like, giving hugs to me, she loves, um, taking pictures, she loves, um.. she’s very…. Clingy?.. but..I guess that’s how she shows her affection towards me?.. but, I feel kinda bad cu—we talked about this yesterday, uh, she messaged me yesherdey—yes-ter-day, about how, how she feels

-laughter followed by pause-

she feels as though I don’t love her, and the only reason why I love her is because she’s family and if she wasn’t family I wouldn’t care for her. So, I felt kinda bad but it was kinda late so I told her to go to sleep cushe—I thought she was—she was going weird. She has these moments where, um…. I… she just becomes really weird. Like, uh... Sh—there was this time this summer, we were just sitting down doing homework and she would grab, like, the nearest fruit and, like, throw it at me, and she like… she’s weird. Um.. she played a really big part in how I was raised, uh.. cuz my dad’s always working, my mom taught a lot of violin, so, um.. a lot of the days it was just me and my sister, so, I think she raised me a lot.. she’s…

-pause-

Yeah she raised me a lot, in terms of, um.. being proper, being more.. um.. like controlling my behavior while my parents were more.. discipline, um… but.. sometimes I feel bad about not giving her enough affection, but sometimes I don’t because I feel as though, like, if I give her affection… then, um…

-pause-

I don’t know.. I feel.. it’s—it’s a very interesting relationship between me and her, uh… I think, right now, the closest person I am with--.. like the closest.. I am.. t—mm – nuh.. what do I say? How do you—how do you phrase this? The closest person to me right now, in terms of, um, comfort, um, and…

-pause-

-phone vibrates from text message-

It’s my sister.

-laughter-

um.. in terms of everything is actually my sister, uh.. what’s next?

-pause-

goinof.. (?) okay! I talked about my family, I talked about my sister, I talked about my parents, I talked about my dog, um... what else… Do you have any questions? About my family?

Me: I think while you were talking you answered all the questions I had.

J: Oh really?

Me: Yeah.

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