#im so annoyed pissed and disgusted with the whole situation

[mooninagust]

fully ready to quit kpop

[terraliensvent]

thanks for being open to critique /gen

I sadly do agree with the anon on the pkmn blog rn bc I also noticed a change in how you respond aswell.

i can think of two examples straight off my head of when you seemed biased. srry to bring it back up but ya the first time was when the porn proportioned terra discourse happened. you spoke for the anon and changed the meaning of what they said to “oh they just meant kea should be more varied” when its clear thats not what ppl were upset about. the second example was when you also made it seem like anons who had imo very legit reasons to be upset about the way you handled the “speculation” were just being crazy out of nowhere. like you said they were like “you should die in a fire if u think this is ok” when no one said that, they were just rightfully disgusted and concerned.

ik this is a drama blog but the truth does matter too even when it means conceding that someone u disagree with was not bad in a situation or also that someone u agree with was bad.

idk i think u have been ok sofar but like yea if u learned from this it would make ur blog alot better like when it started

post related

example 1

example 2

prefacing my reply by saying im not arguing against the point this anon made or trying to paint my responses linked as “correct” or anything, just giving my reasoning for stuff

i will say that these 2 situations are the ones that have exhausted me the most when it comes to topics on here, which does further my point about how i can be bitter when topics get more aggressive. im not sure if i should take this as an issue with myself, or whether to show that being nasty to myself and others in my inbox just helps nobody. lets go with both!

starting with example 1, i felt like i made it pretty clear that i had my own interpretation of the comment, i think i even said as much within my reply. i will admit though i dont really have any sort of fondness for kea and their previous sexualization of terra adopts did leave a bad taste in my mouth regarding them. regardless, i think the reason i gave og anon so much slack is because of the (in my opinion) unbalanced response to it in the first reply. i think that there should be some more disconnect when it comes to critiquing a person ideas as opposed to the person themselves; what i mean by that is you can say “that comment you made or that idea you hold is misogynistic” without making aggressive assumptions as the person replying did. i think that maybe it makes it my fault for not being clearer that assumptions like that arent welcome here, or maybe its more my fault for having a very specific expectation of how people should interact. either way

example 2 i think has a bit of a shorter explanation, this specific ask set me off about the whole situation, since i agree it really shouldnt have gone on as long as it did. but as ive stated many times before i prefer to post everything in my inbox just to be more trustworthy as a mod and i was expecting that ppl could just let the topic die on its own. the assumptions thing was also happening here, and with the arguing going on it just pissed me off. i will say about the specific “die in a fire comment” that wasnt me so much saying that anons were claiming stuff like that, but rather me being hyperbolic in explaining my stance. i can be really hyperbolic on here when it comes to jokes and i can realize sometimes it isnt the most obvious thing, but thats my way of communicating for when im not being the most serious. with that specific situation, i was getting really annoyed that people were winding down to slapfighting, and if i presented the opposing anons as crazy or not really having a leg to stand on, thats my bad. i can see where both sides are coming from, it was just at that point in the argument i really just wanted it to be done and i maintain the stance that it really wasnt any of our business

i dont mean to present my opinions on here as the correct ones or that people who disagree with me are bad, and my responses on here are meant to be my interpretation of asks and how i see things personally. if i give my interpretation, it isnt meant to be like “oh actually anon meant this,” its more like “the way i read it is they could mean this, i dont have a ton of evidence one way or the other though so this is just my thoughts”

in the end though, i think both of these instances can be majorly chalked up to me becoming snippy, lol

[bakugohoex]

“we’re you two...from the future”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: language, violence, fluff

word count: 3800+

a/n: umm sorry for not posting requests, im getting through them all, so hopefully they’ll all be done by the end of the month

summary: in which you and bakugo sneak out intending to go see some stars but are met with the unlikliest of people, explaining their situation, you end up fighting alongside them, and realising just how far your relationship will go with the blond

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

You laid sprawled against Bakugo, his finger flicking through Tiktok which you had forced him to get. One hand playing in your hair whilst he did so, you were reading some manga that had come out for your favourite series. It was a peaceful mood between the two of you, no shouting, no anger just the sound of the soft music playing from your speakers and the Tiktok sounds off of Bakugo.

His rough hands felt warm in your hair, massaging the scalp occasionally which gave you a burst of love. He looked down dropping his phone to the side as he watched you read. The way your eyes would crease when a serious panel was occurring or loosen when something more joyful happened.

“Stop staring, it’s creepy.” You muttered playfully.

He scowled at you, letting go of your hair and moving his legs to make you fall on the bed. “That’s what you get for calling me creepy.”

Chuckling at the boy you drop the manga to the side, moving back between his legs as you rested your head against his chest. He wrapped his hands around your waist and put his chin on top of your head as he let you on his phone.

The boy who had no apps and only cared about the health one. It worried you and forcing him to get Tiktok had made him hate his phone even more due to spending a whole night just scrolling without realising.

“I heard there’s a new exhibition opening up tonight, we should sneak out and go.” Your soft voice contrasted his much louder one. It was angelic almost feeling like he was around an unearthly presence when you were around.

He raises an eyebrow at the thought, “if it’s another shitty exhibition then were not going.”

“It’s not, they’re doing a midnight watch the stars thing.” He smiled watching you try to find the article but unable to. The photo on his home screen reminding him of how much he actually did love spending time with you.

Another late-night outing to get ice cream and it was a photo of the both of you watching the sunset. It was cute enough, but he’d hate if anybody saw it and tarnished his reputation as confident and independent which you’d often refer to as being a dick.

“Yeah, yeah we’ll go then.” He sounded bored of the situation, but you knew him better than anybody through the unamusement he was melting inside. He would get to watch the stars with his love, and he wouldn’t have to worry about anything else.

Midnight arises quicker than usual, Bakugo was normally asleep by 8pm so nobody bothered to question him leaving early. And you, well he’d probably want you beside him, so nobody questioned that either.

Instead you were met by the balcony, Bakugo’s arms around you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You both had done this too many times to count, you guessed Aizawa knew and didn’t care. As long as you two came back safe than everything would be fine.

The fall from the balcony sent a rush of wind through your hair as Bakugo’s quirk activated and you felt yourself in the air. He had gotten used to using his quirk to fly and was able to do it with a lot more ease and precision. If you let, go you’d be a goner and he’d probably have to save you.

Seeing his lips twitch he was trying to suppress a smile but instead he stayed stoic as usual. Inside his heart was aching at how you looked in the air. It was his favourite time with you, the way you looked so utterly magnificent in the air. It was a true sight for sore eyes for the blond.

Finally landing, you felt the ground under you wobbling a bit. Bakugo grabbed you which helped you a lot more than you realised. His arms holding you upright just as you two were outside the exhibition hall.

Seeing the line, he sees your bright smile and heavy breaths through the air. “i want a good seat.” You take his hand dragging him towards the line as you both stood and waiting in line.

You could hear the line shuffle before hearing a familiar voice behind you. “Baby, we always miss the midnight showings, come on whilst we’re here.”

It sounded too familiar even, like it was your own. You were about to turn around to see but felt Bakugo drag you forward. The voice ringed through your head, it could’ve just been your imagination, but it was weird. It felt like an echo of the future.

The hall was almost empty, a lot more people had bought tickets to the other exhibitions rather than the planetarium one which made it a lot better for the two of you. Underneath the stars alone would be perfect especially if Bakugo could freely watch you as well.

“Two tickets to the planetarium.” Bakugo had already bought the tickets inside but the sound of the same voice again was heard. Trying to look back to see, people had begun crowding around to get other essentials, mostly food. The person was no longer visible, and you turned to face Bakugo.

“What’s wrong?” He crossed his arms waiting for an answer.

“I keep hearing someone, she...she sounds like me.” He comes closer giving you a look before hugging you.

“It’s probably your imagination, it’s late that’s why, come on dumbass.” He let’s go of you right at the end of his talk and takes your hand. Kissing the back to bring some comfort.

You both walk in seeing an almost empty room. It was midnight on a Tuesday you didn’t really expect a lot of people but nobody really.

Both you and Bakugo sat on the back row. It was the perfect sear for him to watch the stars but also see how beautiful you looked under the white light. The sound of more people coming brought relief that this event would still occur. Bakugo’s hand rested on top of yours he watched out how there was only natural light from outside but even then, the moon did little against the darkness.

“Just sit down, we can’t be worrying about seats.” You heard the voice again and this time it seemed closer than usual, almost next to you.

Bakugo’s thumb rubbed circles on the back of your hand. A comfort but as you turned to finally meet the woman you were met with a heavy shock. A scream belched through the room, everybody had gone silent, Bakugo in an instant was up ready to fight whoever it was.

“Bakugo.” The two of you shouted, the woman in front of you looked at you with cares as you looked back at her. The same eyes, same nose, same mouth, hell even the hair was a bit longer for her, but it was there. And the voice, the same shout for your loves.

“Y/n.” This time the two guys who had been standing up ready to see what had happened had spoken and this time a confusion settled between the four of you.

“Outside now.” The blond said, it sounded exactly like your Bakugo but didn’t. Rougher around the edges an even deeper voice. But it couldn’t be, the two had gotten up scurrying outside and you followed.

Apologising to the others as you left, the opened the doors again and were met with the inside of the yellow lamps. It helped to see better and this time you and Bakugo had a full view of the two.

Your eyes widened at her, the hero costume exactly like yours but more seductive, professional even was around her. She stared back at you, the younger her, the one who hadn’t experienced what was to come.

The two men stood in front of each other, Bakugo’s winter outfit on the much taller man. You had remained the same height, but it seemed Bakugo had grown to over 6ft and his much smaller self looked with a snarl. But even then, he looked the same, the same look of disgust, the piercing scarlet eyes along with the same hero costume. He may look more built and even more intimidating but having her beside him making him look almost sweet like a lost puppy and she was his master.  

“It can’t be.” You whispered out.

“Oh but it is.” The woman spoke out, “i missed that ugly haircut you used to have.”

She had said it to Bakugo’s older self who remarked back a scowl and crossed arms, something your own was doing himself, “I grew out of the Pomeranian look dumbass.”

“What the fuck shitty woman? Fucking explain what this is.” Bakugo growled, he was annoyed and confused two emotions he hated being.

You went to grab his hand and he became a lot more settled at that touch. “Did i really only settle down if you were there?” The older Bakugo muttered, he had more of an undercut but even then, you could tell it was Bakugo.

“Yeah, you were a pussy back then.” The older him glared at her, she glared back but even then, he softly pushed her to the side. “Fucking twat.”

“Don’t fucking swear in front of kids.” You and Bakugo stood in confusion at the squabble going on between the older versions of yourself.

“If you hurt me ill wake up from this horrible nightmare.” You kept whispering but even then, it was real.

The two-stop fighting and looked back at the both of you. “Let’s get ice cream, you’re paying.” She pointed at the version of Bakugo before taking your hand. “We have so much to explain.”

“Her younger self was so much better why’d she have to fucking grow up.” The older version spoke with a pissed off tone, he watched the two walk away before looking at his younger self. “The hair was shit, kid.”

“What the fuck, shut up old man, and stop talking about my girlfriend like that.” Your Bakugo remarked back, always the hot head.

The ice cream shop was only a few minutes away and both the older versions of yourself went to order. “Katsuki, what the fuck is happening?”

“They’re us Y/n.”

You pushed his arm which went back around the back of the booth. It skimmed back and forth onto your shoulder as you leaned into his side. “Way to state the obvious.”

“They could be villains, who have some sort of transformation quirk, whatever it is, the first sign of danger I’ll kill them.” Bakugo looked outside, he felt your soft fingers on his thigh out of reassurance that he was real.

The two came back with a tray of both your favourite ice cream. “We did like this when we were kids right?” She said to her Bakugo, he shrugged picking the ice cream and taking a bite of it.

“Who are you two?” You questioned taking the ice cream and mixing it with your plastic spoon to become softer. You watched the older version do the exact same thing and knew it couldn’t have been a villain.

“Younger you sure was fucking unaware.” The older Bakugo spoke a loud.

“Don’t be a twat.” She hit his arm, making him wrap his arm around her as well.

It was like an exact copy of you two on each side and it felt eerie. “We need proof you ain’t villains, if you are, I’ll kill you both.”

“We understand that but let us explain what happened first Katsuki.” She spoke his name with the same love and ease, it felt too familiar to him, like he had heard it so many times before.

You nod starting to lick at the spoon as you waited to hear, “quick version, we were trying to catch this villain, he has a quirk that can send people back in time, and the fucking asshole sent us back in time.”

You smiled at the older boy, how similar Bakugo remained in the future. How he still had the same look of disgust but when looking at you, he saw hope and love. “That’s a shitty explanation.” She continued, “he sends people back in time and follows them to kill their past self to create a loophole.” She plays with the spoon taking a hesitant pause, “we’re you two...from the future.”

“You two idiots got caught.” Bakugo began laughing as if he was making fun of your classmates before he realised. “Wa...” Bakugo kicked under the table at his older self, “you got fucking caught you dumbass.”

“It’s fine, it only lasts an hour, that’s why normally those who get sent back come back to their time but then begin to disintegrate as there younger selves died.”

“We would’ve heard about these cases.” You were confused at how this hadn’t been mainstream news.

“With no culprit, it won’t make the headlines.” She licked the spoon before setting the container onto the table. “Any questions?”

“I don’t believe I’d be that much of a dumbass to get caught, prove you’re us.” Bakugo proposed, his hands had been playing in your hair and he really wanted to imagine this was some kind of dream he was in.

“God kids are fucking annoying, remind me to never give you one.”

“He’s you.” You and your older self-speak in unison and the look of horror at the angry boy in front of him was something else.

“You better not get her pregnant at...” Bakugo mutters seeing your older self, he sees the beauty you retain. How you look like a goddess to him and how you always still remain his love.

“26.” She says smiling happily.

“Are you two married?” You ask, hoping something had occurred by now.

She goes through her pockets, the boy next to her doing the same before finding what she’s looking for. A silver band with a crystal in the middle. it was beautiful, Bakugo’s own having something inscribed on it.

“Engaged.” She shows the ring to you on her finger, it fitted her finger perfectly. Your fingers perfectly. Your Bakugo looked at the sight, he had gotten the courage to do it, to make you permanently his. You both would last forever.

Bakugo coughs to try and get out of his happiness and go back to his angry self. “Go on then, ask us the shitty questions?”

“Why were you at that event?”

His older self looking at her before rolling his eyes leaning back on the booth, “her and her obsession with the stars.”

“We had to time to kill.” She elbows his side making him give a glare to the woman. Not his normal disgusted one but one that you all knew he was joking and mocking the woman.

“What are you both in the Hero Charts?” That was the question Bakugo really cared about; he didn’t need proof anymore he just wanted to know if he made it to the top.

“I’m 5th and umm, Suki...” She let him speak, you were happy to be in the top ten that was an achievement, but you could tell the words that would come out of his older self would not be happy ones.

Before any words could come out the sound of lightening sprung out through the street. “It can’t be, he said he wouldn’t bother killing our younger selves why is he here?” She said seeing the man in the dark black cloak. “He said he just needed us gone for an hour, why is he here?”

“He’s the asshole who sent you back, let’s go capture him then.” Your Bakugo got up and but was stopped by himself.

“You’re a child, I’m not letting myself go out there and die.”

“Let go of me old man.” The tension between the two was thick enough to cut through. But there were bigger issues at hand here. The sound of the villain prowling the street, a menace ready to attack.

“You two are staying fucking put.” Bakugo’s older self-looked tired, it was in his eyes, you could see it, the years getting to the pro hero but at the sight of your older self running out, he followed.

Bakugo tried to get up but you put your arm out to stop him, “wait.”

“Y/n, I’m not letting our future selves die out there.” He grumbled swatting your hand away.

“I want to see how they work together, how we work together.” Of course you and Bakugo had fought alongside each other, but watching them, it would show the progress, your aim and how far you had gotten.

“Hiding your younger selves won’t help you both.” The villain remarked, his hand in the ready with a knife.

She grabbed a hold of him with her quirk smashing him into a wall. The way he indented the wall showed you the sheer amount of strength you had with your quirk. Your ability to not only move him with your hand but also put enough force onto the wall to break around him.

Bakugo’s hands turned yellow, you could almost see the power seethe from him, your own looking at himself, watching intentively at how his explosions had become bigger and bigger in his palm. Even without the gauntlets he had power, an excessive amount that fuelled his rage. He began to attack whilst she remained on defence, but the villain just skimmed past the explosion charging at her.

She grabbed the discarded bricks from the floor bringing your hands up to make them float and tried to encase him, but his pure strength outweighed her own as you could see him nearing her through the window. You ran out, Bakugo running with you as the four of you stood. “I told you to brats to stay inside.” His older version shouted, fire fulling him as he attacked the man who neared you. Your own allowed his quirk to activate and this in turn led to fire and explosions burning the street at how both tried to stop the villain.

You ran up to the older woman, she looked at you with care, “I’m going to teach you something.” She grabbed your hands, and you could feel a warmth from between your fingers. “Think of the rubble, the discarding bricks, anything that has broken off Y/n.”

You did so staring into her eyes, the pools of depth seeping out as she spoke with such confidence. “Keep thinking about it.” You did, thinking of the fallen rubble and discarded bricks and when you opened your eyes, it was up in the air. Both your quirks coming together to allow for it all to surround you both. You both saw the two boys hit the villain missing the reckless knife and knew that the villain was out of breathe from the force of it all.

But now there was you two, and in an instant, she shouted at you, “push it all onto him.” You followed through, everything felt heavy under the movement of your fingers, you could see her own becoming ashy and scarred but she kept a hold of the majority of the weight. You felt the weight of it all and as you pushed it onto the villain, Bakugo’s older self grabbing him to move out of the way. The villain became trapped onto the wall, the two boys came up to you both as they both went to their respective partner. “Are you okay?”

It was in unison and they both grabbed your hands, the ash and spilt skin between your fingers was evident. The action was the same and you knew it would never change, your older self turned to face you both as she glared. “You shouldn’t have come out but thank you.”

“You both did okay, it doesn’t mean anything though, you’ve both got far to go.”

“Shut it old man.” Your Bakugo grinned out, his arm around your shoulder lazily.

His older self tilted his head back in a chuckle before grabbing her hand. “We’re running out of time.”

“But we still have so many questions.” You were hesitant to ask before but now working alongside the two pro heroes you wanted to know more.

“We’ve got two minutes make it fast.” They both walked towards the villain, grabbing the unconscious body from the side. The excessive heat from both the Bakugo’s had caused fires and you could hear the police and heroes come to see the scuffle. Walking into an alleyway, you both stood in front of your selves.

“I guess I only have one question.” You looked at Bakugo and he looked back at you, his hand resting on your shoulder bringing warmth to you.

“Are we happy?” Bakugo held you tighter and the two smiled at you.

His older self began talking, kicking the villain to make him shut up. “There’s ups and down, a lot more to come but we’re happy, aren’t we?”

“We are.” He smiles at her, love in his eyes, even after 10 years of being together there was still love and adoration for her. It was something Bakugo had for you, but it had intensified along the years. It was almost too beautiful, there eyes on one another, how perfectly they fit together, it was perfect.

“Well I guess this is goodbye, have fun and…” You trailed off as Bakugo’s older self interrupted.

“Don’t do anything stupid, and wear a con…” Before he could finish the three disappeared and you and Bakugo were left alone in the alleyway. A confusion between the two of you as you both walked out of the alleyway.

“That was weird.” You muttered grabbing the boys palms.

“You’ve got that right, stupid old man bossing us about.”

“Did you just indirectly call yourself stupid?” You laughed as he rolled his eyes.

“Whatever at least I know your mine forever now.” He spoke softer, something he did when around you as you both walked through the street. The darkness around you as you had walked the opposite direction of where the fire had occurred.

“You’re such a sap.” You chuckled tilting your head backwards, he saw how strong you’d become, and it lightened a fire in how you both were so utterly in love, a perfect pro hero couple.

He held your hand tighter giving a glare, “you’re the fucking sap, baby.”

“Let’s watch the stars.” You hummed having ignored the comment and dragging him up the hill where you could lay on the grass and look right up to the sky.

“Yeah, yeah.” He held your hand tighter before you dropped to the ground and he sat beside you. You laid down looking at that the speckles of white throughout the hues of black and blue. A sight to the say the least and as you stared at the sky all he could do was stare at you. His girl, his love, his future.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[shaechans]

dream! reaction

group: nct dream (ot7)

desc: someone flirting with their s/o!

genre: fluff and angst????? 

word count: 1.1k

a/n: lmao lmao i remember writing this last year and drafted it cause it was too cringy puke but now i have gained a tiny bit of confidence and let’s see maybe i might be able to post some more in the future!! y’all can request. also, this is pretty short but i hope y’all like it anyway<33 also random gifs sooooo yay! also also i have so much to say im so sorry i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible so please let me know if i need to change something, i would like everyone to enjoy!!

lee mark

usually, in your relationship, mark is pretty mature (which means you be wildin and he's always there to control your ass). that also means that he's real protective of you and is basically a second mom to you. so when he saw that dude actually picking up guts to talk to you while he was literally standing next to you in the mcdonalds queue, oh was he pissed! although, he would try to keep his chill, which did not exactly work by the way you would end up trying to calm him down. he would start by sending off cold and sharp glares at the dude while wrapping a protective arm round your waist, completely violating his pda rule. with mark's stares striking his soul, the guy was soon gone, with which mark heaved out a relieved sigh.

“babe you need to stop being so pretty. it's not helping me in anyway!”

huang renjun

this boy is already damn whipped for you, even if he acts all annoyed and shit, that's all the loving he's giving (so you better fucking accept or there's gonna be a gun to your head). when he first saw that dude acting up all over you and flirty he would activate his over protective switch and turn all manly and serious. renjun pure baby boy lasted long anyway. as soon as he walked over to the very uncomfortable you, he'd make sure the boy fled taking in his cool and broad shoulder exterior. after the guy wasn't in his sight anymore, renjun would mutter a few curse words, only heard by you and wrap you in his arms, making sure to have you pampered by him and never letting you leave his line of sight.

“thatʼs right, you better make a move before my gangster shoulders do.”

lee jeno

BABY BABY BABBY BABY-

being already very vEry over protective boyfriend he is, the guy flirting with you better think twice. jeno absolutely hates when he sees you talking to a someone that is a not him. you better damn expect him to be pretty much raging when he saw this one dude's hand on your leg while you were seated next to some fountain waiting for jeno's arrival. without wasting a second, he would rush over and stand behind the guy, fumes very evidently leaving his ear holes. ʻiʼm sorry but who do you think you are touching her like that?ʼ he would start to question, startling the guy in front of him. when he saw you heave a huge sigh of relief and rush to his side, he would feel so guilty for not reaching there sooner and grabbing the jerk by his shoulders, he would shove him away. after he calming down a little, he would pull you into a hug and never leave your touch for the rest of the year.

“oh my god baby i'm so sorry for leaving you here alone with that asshole.”

lee donghyuck

now this boy is already super cocky and shit so you'd expect him to take this whole situation as a joke. but hell no you nasties. hyuck's much more than just a jokester. he's a great boyfriend and so if he ever witnessed a scene like this, it'd make him feel quite disappointed with himself, saying that he's never there for you and stuff like that. anyway, seeing you trapped in a somewhat alley that your house stood on, almost at a dead end, a disgusting man trying to have you appealed by him, he would never just stand there shocked. donghyuck would probably do the unexpected and punch him square in the face. rethinking the situation you got into, a few tears would appear at his eyes while you pulled him into a hug, comforting him.

“no one else is allowed to touch you or i will so not spare them!”

na jaemin

jaemin's already super head over heels for you that you cannot count the number of heart eyes he gives you. so when he saw to have a ʻconversationʼ with a dude not him, you'd expect him to feel really sad and upset. at first he thought he was a close friend that you were happily catching up when he took in the look on the guy's face. although when his eyes flickered toward your quite uncomfortable expression, he would make his move as to save you from the discomfort. marching over to where you stood, he would wrap both his arms around your waist, placing a quick kiss to your cheek, looking up at the guy asking

“so what were y'all talking about babe?”

zhong chenle

chenle is that boyfriend who is always super delighted at your presence and again, super whipped for you. he may not be the person to step up or initiate stuff but if it's for you then consider it done and there's a very limited amount of stuff you can deny coming from him. so when chenle had come with the idea of stepping out of the house for a small walk, you could never ever deny (and don't you dare!). so while walking, chenle decides to get ice cream and leaves you by yourself on a bench, when some boy around your age shows up with his dog and bad flirting skills. while so intrigued by the little poodle, you hardly payed attention to the guy so when chenle showed up all angry, to say that you were puzzled would be an understatement. not able to say much before the boy got dragged away by his pup, chenle was quite relieved he didn't have to test his muscles. although, he still wanted to let you know that he would risk it all for you, even his five minute work out energy.

“i'm so sorry for dragging you here only to be flirted with some dog man, ugh! here's some ice cream though<33”

park jisung

jisung is that boyfriend who seems to be pretty shy and embarrassed by literally everything you do (damn it y/n). not only that, he may be a little insecure as well as he sees a heap of good looking korean boys his age everyday. afraid to lose someone as precious as you, he would at times join in the weirdness with you like how chenle taught him. anyway, despite his insecurity being at peak lately this random dude from your class decides to ruin everything and bring his levels to a max. whilst flirting, jisung would overhear the conversation thinking that you would flirt actually back. this suddenly him and he would distance himself from you. so you were surprised to not find jisung and when you eventually did, he was crying (poor baby). so of course you comforted him saying that you loved him only and there was no way you were flirting back there with stupid han gongjoo.

“so you still like me?”

[soulwillower]

tozier • ben hanscom

(ben hanscom x tozier!reader smut)

requested: okay so once regular requests open, here's my idea. so the reader and richie are siblings and they absolutely hate each other and to get under his sisters skin, he fucks her best friend. so in sheer anger she decides to fuck all of his

warnings: swearing, smut, unedited bc im a lazy asshole 

ok guys here’s part one of the new series! i’ll probably have to go back in and edit some stuff n probably change the name but lmk what u guys think and what u wanna see for the next parts :) 

[losers and reader are in college in this.]

2.8k words

♡

you know richie pretty well, if you say so yourself. hell, you grew up with him - you've known him your whole entire life and even now, as 19 and 20 year olds, you're still at each other’s throats constantly. 

naturally, growing up with richie as your brother was full of ups and downs - like the time that you were still a baby in your crib and he'd curiously wandered into your nursery and twisted your finger, causing it to break. or, that time when you two got into a fight over who took the last of the ice cream in the freezer and didn't speak to each other for almost three whole days.

but there were really good times, too - like when richie picked you up after your disastrous senior prom night and drank vodka with you in the back of his pickup truck while you threw rocks at the creepy house on neibolt street. or the time where you bought him a new pair of glasses so your parents wouldn't kill him for breaking them and he bought you ice cream for a month as a thank you. 

richie was the most frustrating, annoying, rude, arrogant older brother, and yet even when you were away at separate colleges, you talked on the phone almost every night.

you share one of those really, really competitive relationships - a lot of it, you’ve realized, stems from your parents constantly pitting you two against each other to vie for their attention and praise. but no matter, you still hated richie most of the time and he hated you just as much. 

but right now, you might fucking murder him.

you have so much hatred for him as you storm down your stairs, phone clutched violently in your palm as you stalk into the basement, hollering, "richard!" at the top of your lungs. it's a hot august afternoon and you've just come back from the pool with your best friend, now filled to the brim with white hot rage for your brother. 

when you'd been at the pool, cecily, your best friend, had stretched her neck and you'd noticed a hickey (naturally, you'd teased her about it). but when you pried, she got secretive and defensive until it finally slipped out that the boy she'd been with was none other than your gangly, stupid older brother, richie.

you were completely disgusted and beyond addled as to why she'd choose richie, of all people, but more than that you were extremely pissed and stormed off, driving home with knuckles tight against the steering wheel.

and now, as you make it down to the last step of the basement, you're aware that you're still in your bathing suit with shorts thrown haphazardly on top as you storm towards your fuckwit brother.

he and all of the losers he hung out with are down here, sprawled on the large sofas and on the floor in front of the tv. you don't dare break your eye contact with richie as you glare, face heated with anger.

"well hey there, little sis. what's got your knickers in a knot?" he says with a lopsided grin that you just want to punch clean off his face. he's sitting between ben and bill and you turn a little pink as you notice both boys’ eyes on your body. yet you barely think for a second before slapping richie straight across his cheek, hard. 

the slap is a sickening sound as it quiets the whole room - you can feel bev's eyes on you, hear eddie's short gasp, and see out of the corner of your eyes as stan turns his head to watch the scene. richie stares at you, hand on his cheek. "what the hell, y/n?" he asks with a glare as he stands up, rising to his full height above you. but you’re not afraid. 

"you talk to cecily today?" you ask with feigned sweetness, a sick smile on your face as you cross your arms. richie just blinks at you, mouth opening and closing like the dumbass he is. "how long have you been fucking her?" you ask when he says nothing.

the room bursts in exclamations after your words - from mike's "you didn't." to bill's "what the f-fuck is wrong with you, m-man?" and ben's, "oh my god, dude."

richie just shakes his head, looking way too casual as he places a hand on your shoulder with a grin, "y/n/n, can we talk about this later? we’re trying to watch jeopardy." he smirks, but you immediately shake his arm off, recoiling in frustration as you glare at him. "no, richie! you’ve been fucking my best friend! my ONLY friend!" you ask, shaking your head. “you’re such a shitty person, i fucking hate you. why did you do it?” 

 as you make eye contact, he sighs almost forlornly, as if he’s about to apologize. but this is richie, so of course he doesn’t. "....she's just so fuckin’ hot." he says with a grin. 

you take a sharp breath, rubbing your face with your hands as you back away towards the stairs.

"c'mon, sis! don't be so sensitive." he calls to your back and you can practically hear the nasty grin in his voice. you hear eddie hiss, "quit being a fucking asshole." to your brother and you want to scream. "don't fucking talk to me, richie." you snap as you make it up the stairs, ignoring richie as he laughs his stupid hyena laughter. 

you're finally changed out of your suit and into a shirt and shorts by the time you've calmed down enough to take a few deep breaths. a knock makes you jump, though, and you glare at the closed door. as you're about to yell for whoever it is to go away, you're stopped by a voice.

"hey, y/n." ben's voice sounds through the door, and it's almost shocking how quickly your shoulders relax. you smile shyly as you open the door, your heart beating wildly, this time not from anger but out of your proximity to ben.

ben hanscom had been your brother’s friend for a while, and you simply did not understand. all of them are jackasses, richie being the king of the pack, but ben really does seem to be so fucking genuine. maybe it’s because you’ve always had a small thing for him, but then again it may just be because you’re furious with richie. 

"hi, ben. sorry i was.... sorry about that." you say awkwardly as he walks into your room and shuts the door gently. he laughs quietly as he leans against your wall, looking down at you knowingly. "it's richie's fault. you have every right to be mad. he’s a dick sometimes"

you nod thoughtfully, touched that ben came to check in on you. "i know he is. you know, i'm not even mad that they had sex, honestly, i’m just mad because i know he did it to piss me off." you say, biting your lip as you stare up at ben, his hair glinting under the soft light of your lamp. 

ben nods as he reaches out to rub your shoulder, making your stomach flutter as you look up at him. "if i can be honest, you two have the weirdest relationship i've ever seen, y/n. i'm sorry he did that and didn’t tell you, that's really unfair."

you smile lightly at the floor where your feet point towards his. "well now i have, like, nobody to hang out with this summer." you mumble, thinking about how cecily is really your only friend from derry, and how all your college friends live hundreds of miles away.

you shrug, leaning into ben's touch. "you have me to keep me company, though." he says with a shy grin, cheeks heating up at your smile.

"oh, just you? i like the sound of that." you ask, lifting a brow playfully. he chuckles a bit at your look and it makes your chest flutter.

"yeah, of course you do, y/n." he says as he pulls you into a hug. he's warm and smells like cinnamon cologne and it makes your chest glow sweetly. you pull back only slightly, hands sliding up to his chest as you look into his golden eyes. "ben..." you whisper softly, eyes going down to his lips and then bouncing back up, not wanting to make a move if he's not comfortable with it.

he clearly is thinking the same thing, because you're both moving closer and closer, his hands lightly squeezing your hips as he stares at you with hooded eyes. "yeah?" he asks, just as quietly. you swallow, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap just to see what it'd be like. to have one of richie's friends, for a change.

you don't know how to initiate it, though. "do you want to-"

"yes." he rushes out quickly, apprehension only flashing across his face just after he'd rushed out the answer, in fear that you'd been overwhelmed by his enthusiasm. but it's enough for you, and you grin slightly before pulling him into a kiss.

his lips are hot on yours, your hair still drying from the chlorine at the pool as his fingers tangle in the strands. you moan a bit out of shock, having not kissed anyone in a while and feeling touch starved. his hands are strong and soft in all the best ways and you try not to smirk as you think about your stupid brother sitting in the basement, currently unaware of what you’re about to do with one of his best friends upstairs. 

but then, just as your hand slips to the hem of ben’s jeans, he pulls back a bit. “is this a bad idea?” he asks.

you sigh, looking away. “yes.” you say with barely any hesitation. “but i don’t fucking care.” you say honestly, and ben grins, “well, me neither. you’re...” he looks you up and down before smiling. “so fucking pretty.” he ends with and your stomach flutters, face growing hot at the compliment. 

"but i don't want to, like.... t-take advantage of this situation, or-" ben starts, but you shake your head, biting your lip as you stare at him. he's so fucking amazing, so caring. he's always been like this - respectful, considerate, and interested in your well being, which really just makes you want him even more.

"no, ben, i... i really want this. if-if you do too." you say honestly, fiddling with your fingers as you watch him through your lashes. he grins as he nods. "you sure?"

you giggle, pulling him towards you by his neck. "yes. are you, ben?" you ask as he leans down closer. "definitely." he whispers against your lips, his breath coming out in a short huff. and then his lips are on yours, pressing strongly and fully as you stumble a bit, grasping him tightly as you kiss back.

he presses you against him, hand at the small of your back as he moves his tongue deftly against your lip, exploring your mouth as you suppress a moan. one moment later, you pull back a bit.

"you're not..." you trail off, and he shakes his head. "no, are you?" he asks, and you also shake your head as you cup his cheek and pull him back in for a kiss. "me neither." you mutter, falling back down onto the mattress, hand blindly fumbling around inside your bedside drawer for your box of condoms.

he's kissing down your neck, his hands palming your breasts softly as you finally pull one out and set it beside you, wrapping your arms back around his neck.

he grinds slowly against you and you let out an embarrassedly loud moan at the friction against your clothed clit. he's already pretty hard and your mind flickers to the basement, how chilly it had been against your skin and how your swimsuit top probably didn't leave much to the imagination as you'd stood right in front of him. it makes you giddy at the thought of ben's eyes on you, his mind drifting to what you'd look like underneath him.

which is where you are right now, as he rolls the condom onto himself and pumps slowly. you kick your shorts and underwear off, aching and dripping with need as he slides between your legs, bracing himself with one arm above you.

"ready?" he asks softly and you let out a strangled whimper as you feel him line up at your entrance, teasing your folds a bit and making your hips buck. "yes." you say, staring deep into his eyes.

ben grasps your hand then, steading both you and him as he eases into you, sinking slowly and letting out a shuddering breath. you let out a small whine at the feeling of ben stretching you out, having been too antsy and not having enough time or patience for foreplay. once he's fully inside you, he kisses your cheek and gives you a few moments to adjust as you breathe into his neck.

and then he starts to move, his hips rolling slowly as he fills you up and hits a perfect spot inside you, your toes curling almost immediately. "oh god, ben." you moan out and that makes his hips move fluidly as he thrusts into you, kissing your neck softly as you whimper in pleasure.

the hand that isn't steadying himself above you holding your hand dances around you; exploring your curves, fingers lightly tracing over the stretch marks on your hips and then his palm sliding to caress your sides, his touch making your skin feel on fire.

after a few more minutes, he picks up the pace, hips angled slightly deeper and making your toes curl. he starts to moan every few thrusts, right into the shell of your ear, and it pushes you closer and closer to that feeling growing in your abdomen.

"shit, y/n, i'm already close." he mutters, eyes closed in bliss as he leans his head back slightly, the sight heavenly to your eyes. and you don't even blame him because he's probably just as pent-up as you are and you know this has to be quick or else richie will come up, wondering why ben was taking so long to ask if you're okay.

so you lean up a bit as he thrusts into you and you attach your lips to his neck, sucking lightly enough that it won't mark. "so am i." you say breathlessly as you move your hips, chasing the high that's building deep inside you.

you press your hands to his chest, stopping his motions momentarily. "let me ride you." you say breathlessly and his eyes widen with something akin to hunger as he pulls out of you, rolling onto his back with a shocked look. you smirk as you climb back onto him, straddling him as you pump him a few times. he bites his lip as you sink yourself onto him, moaning and covering your mouth so as not to carry the sound all the way to the basement.

as you start to bounce, you smile, realizing that you're not at all insecure in front of ben - his hands are all over your body, running over and gripping the plush skin as you sink onto him, taking him perfectly. he's groaning and moving his hips with yours as you mouth wet kisses over his chest and neck.

ben lets out a moan that pushes you near the edge as you pick up the pace, his cock hitting a new spot inside you that has you whimpering. as his hands fall to move your hips with his, squeezing your soft thighs tightly, you hit your high.

you tremble as the feeling of him inside you makes you clench hard, your eyes squeezing shut in bliss as you moan out, "ben!"

your hips stop moving as you ride out your high, only making small movements as you clench around him in complete pleasure. he groans below you, eyes still shut as he juts his hips upwards, taking over to chase his own orgasm.

and his hips start to stutter a few thrusts after as you slump on his chest, one hand on your tits and the other on your hips to move you with his thrusts. he cums a few moments later with a moan that is muffled by your hair, his hands sliding down to your ass, your lips on his collarbone.

after a few moments, you roll off of him and sigh, shocked and unsure as to if that really just happened. you're embarrassed at how quickly he made you cum - you want to blame it all on the fact that it has been quite some time since you'd had sex, but it really was the thrill of hooking up with him, especially because your brother was just downstairs.

ben's cheeks are red as he sits up quickly, pulling on his boxers and then his pants, only looking at you after he tugs the hem of his shirt down. "um, i would totally stay, but-"

you shake your head with a grin, "no, i get it. this was... just a spur of the moment thing."

he beams at you, seemingly relieved that he wasn't hurting your feelings - that was amazing and you're both glowing in your post-orgasm high, but you both know that this was a one-time thing. he pecks your cheek sweetly and as he turns to leave, you mutter, "wait!"

he lifts a brow as he turns to you and you run your fingers through his hair a few times to make it look the way it did before he came up here. "thanks." he says with a grin before he disappears, closing the door behind him and making you get dressed with red cheeks in silence.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings​ @stenbrozier​ @simplesammyx @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier​ @oceandog13​ @finnskindofwoman​  @kait-tozier​ @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @brxken-heartsclub

[thirstystarkey]

HATE CAN SOUND LIKE LOVE • JJ MAYBANK

Summary: JJ and Y/N have always fought, since everyone can remember. They both have short tempers and a endless love for surf and chaos. But what happens when they have to pretend to be a couple? Well.. people always said that hate can sound like love sometimes.

Warnings: Mention of underage drinking, drugs, minor violence, some smutty scenarios and a ton of sexual induendos, JJ being a hot idiot and Y/N a wild girl brat

CHAPTER 06

While the HMS pogue cut it’s way through the river all the pogues, except JJ and Y/N, chatted happily sharing some cool beers Kie had previously brought with her.

“What’s going on?” Kiara asked her friends due to the strange silence between them. She was used to break their fights and now they didn’t even talked.

“Nothing.” Y/N started, a bit annoyed. “Aside from my best friends basically kidnapping me.” Y/N looked at JJ who agreed with his head at her saying. “What did you said to my mom?”

“Oh that..” Kiara changed her body language, automatically looking over at the other boys who didn’t seem very excited to explain either.

“Before they start, I just want to say I wasn’t participating I was just supervising!” Pope said. Raising both hands in the air.

“What could you possibly say to my mother that is worse than what you already done to us?” Y/N asked, afraid of the answer.

“We said you and JJ went on a date.” John B announced fast.

“What?” The red head girl gasped.

“That’s not all we said.” Kiara began.

“Are you guys insane?” JJ manifested.

“They are!” Pope pointed at John B and Kiara.

“We also told your mother you were dating JJ.” John B tried not to laugh.

“I’m going to kill everyone of you while you all sleep.” Y/N was beyond pissed. “I bet my mom didn’t believe that bullshit.”

“Well, she actually did.” Pope said. “She even said she already suspected it.”

JJ and Y/N shared a disgusted look between them. The idea of them dating seemed so surreal to Y/N she almost felt sick to her stomach. The idea of dating Y/N scared JJ, he never had a actual serious girlfriend and he knew Y/N didn’t do the whole one night stand stuff. They were polar opposites.

In the next few days Y/N was on a mission to avoid her mom. She slept at Kiara’s home most of the days and when she eventually went home Y/N didn’t stayed long enough for her mom to ask any questions or even have the talk. Y/N never took any boys home, no one ever stood a chance with her for she always thought they were stupid and didn’t care about the same things as her. They didn’t see her for her but rather for her looks and Y/N loathed them for that. The other boys saw her as a price, a price they could never claim for Y/N was no trophy. She was free, she was a force of nature, she had the ocean’s soul in her spirit.

“Hello? Y/N?” Kiara called while snapping two fingers in her best friends face.

They were all at the beach enjoying a hot late afternoon after a surf session but Y/N’s mind was off and far from being chill. She had a storm called JJ Maybank living inside her mind creating a itch she couldn’t scratch. All the looks she receive around the island made her want to fight them for believing in her best friends lie.

“Wha-”

Y/N wasn’t able to finish her sentence because JJ picked her up throwing her in his shoulder easily, running at the waves direction. She screamed loud enough to catch everyone’s attention, her friends just laughed at the view.

When the cold water hit her body she swore it felt like tiny needles poking her.

“JJ why would you do this?” Y/N fumed.

“Because we need to talk, girlfriend.” He tried to keep her in place while she tried to run back to her towel.

“Fuck off and don’t call me that.” Y/N pulled JJ’s hair making him let her go off his grip.

Back at the sand her friends were laughing at the top of her lungs pointing at her and the blue eyed boy and that alone made her angry. They were having so much fun with her situation and she wanted to kick their asses.

“Even if you two were dating I bet it wouldn’t last for a month.” Pope said trying to catch his breath with a hand on his toned chest.

“A month? I wouldn’t give these two more than a week, with luck.” Kiara made her point.

“I’m done with this, I’m going home.” Y/N was livid, at the point off almost crying with anger. “Have fun.”

“And your mom?” John B inquired, they knew she was avoiding her mom for dear life.

“I don’t care.” She mumbled. “I will deal with her.” She said shrugging her shoulders. “But I can’t deal with this bullshit now.” Y/N pointed at her friends.

When she finished packing her things JJ tried to stop her but he couldn’t catch her in time to talk to her, so he decided to call it a day as well making his way back to John B’s chateau.

Once home the redheaded girl thanked god her mom wasn’t home, Tina had left her a note.

“I’m working a late shift don’t wait for me, we still need to talk about JJ, I love you honey.”

A loud sigh was heard from her, after reading the note Y/N made her way to the bathroom, she needed a warm bath to relax from before. When she was done and the water had run cold Y/N stepped out and dressed some comfy clothes, her plan for the night was to lay in her bed and ignore her problems. Pretending like she didn’t even existed.

But the girl was in a bad luck strike for her phone rang with a buzz not long after she started watching Gossip Girl on netflix.

With was a text message from JJ, which was weird, they never texted. They only texted each other to mock one another or when he sent her memes making fun of her, which she secretly laughed at and sometimes saved them. Something she would never admit to anyone.

JJ 🏄🏼‍♂️: Meet me at our beach in 15, we need to talk. I’m serious now.

JJ was never serious so she knew something was going on. She didn’t knew why she jumped right off her bed first thing when she finished reading the text message, she put on her black vans and grabbed her oversized jean jacket along with her keys on her way out.

As soon as Y/N’s had arrived at the beach both her and JJ surfed, the reason he called it their beach, she saw JJ standing there, with his back against the lifeguard house, in his hand a lit joint.

“Why did you call me here JJ?” Y/N voice was soft, she was actually tired. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Neither do I.” The boy agreed. “But I think we should get back at them for this little stupid prank.” JJ suggests.

They sat together at the steps and JJ offered to share his joint with the red head girl, who normally didn’t smoke but it had been a long day so she gladly took his offer, immediately surprise because JJ weed was strong.

“What’s the plan?” She asked after freeing the smoke from her lips, passing the joint to JJ.

“We should let everyone think we are actually dating, for a month.” JJ said serious. He wasn’t joking.

“You mean, date date?”

“Yes smartass, date date.” JJ giggled at her confusion.

“You’re insane.” The girl blurred out. “Last week we couldn’t stand being close and now you want to pretend we are together.” She pointed back and forth between them. “Actual dating, as in you are my boyfriend.” She laughed.

If there was one thing Y/N and JJ had in common it was their pride. Both of them being to stubborn to lose a bet or to let anyone say they couldn’t do a certain thing. But they never thought the pogues would use that in their disadvantage.

“So what you say, frenemies baby?” JJ held his hand her way.

“Frenemies.” They said in unison.

“But meet me at my place tomorrow, we need to figure this thing out.” Y/N warned JJ while getting up.

“Is lunch included in that talk?” JJ questioned with a raised brow.

“I can make something.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Then it’s a date babe.” JJ winked at her blowing her a kiss but Y/N raised her middle finger at him.

Tag list 💞

@thatsonobx @starkeybaby @this-is-bigger-than--us @ahhireallydontknow @tomzfrog @alotbnouf @outerbankstings @jj-maybank-stan @jellyfishbeansontoast @rafecamerondeservesbetter @im-a-strange-thing @tangledinsparkles @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @helplessquotess @tembo-ndoto @poguebx @k-k0129 @pleaseminho @obxmxybxnk @stilinskiandsuch @lcil123 @fandom-phaser @sexualparkour @myrandom-fandomlife @lasnaro @kristineee-obx @sw-eat-ing @strangebirds2 @kiarascarreras @jjswhore @milamaybank @marveloucnco @downbytheouterbanks @write-from-the-heart @justcallmesams @annedub @drizzlethatfalls @tovvaf @drewswannabegirl @whoreforouterbanks @newhopenessie @maybebanks @poguesrforlife @shawnssongs @wastedheartcth @rudyypankow @danicarosaline

[moonbeamwritings]

Can I get a pt. 3 Jotaro with #14 & #15 with a lady star dust crusader who has a lite mustache and a some black hairs poking out from under her chin. Maybe there's some ladies who's been trying to get to JoJo all day, but he curbs them and the other guys interact. Reader is rough n tough, but JoJo sees them hoes hurt her feelings and JoJo taxes a thot. Thank you ~

“Im the anon who ask for pt.3 jotaro 14 & 15 and hairy reader. If you let them make out or even kiss i WOULD WEEP. Thanks again for doin the lords work!~”

Thank you for sending in a request! Attempts were certainly made to do the lord’s work! Hope you enjoy! 💗

Pt. 3 Jotaro + “Ew. Get away from me. No– not you. You stay.” + “Hi, I’ve been subtle at hinting that I want your attention all day and you haven’t noticed once and now I’m pissed.”

Today just really wasn’t your day. You’d dealt with Polnareff’s snoring the night before, having drawn the short straw to share a room with him. Not fun. As you and the rest of the crusaders headed out for the day, lingering in the city for a little while before moving on, you couldn’t shake the uneasy, almost restless feeling creeping up your spine.

Joseph and Avdol had remained at the front of the group, talking about what the plan was, as Kakyoin kept Polnareff busy, graciously allowing Polnareff to talk his ear off. Something about the bathroom in the hotel lobby. Who knew.

Jotaro had lingered in the back with you, walking so close his knuckles brushed against yours. He couldn’t be trying to-...

Nope, you thought, no way. He was probably just being protective or maybe he was so aloof he didn’t even notice. Jotaro’s mind was a steel trap and it’d be a hell of a day when you finally even began to understand what was going on in that head of his.

“Hey, handsome,” a girl called, grabbing at Jotaro’s elbow.

He shook his arm loose as you watched, losing the other members of the group as the crowd thickened ahead of you.

“Jotaro,” you tried, but the girl was hellbent on gaining his attention.

She shot you a sneer, lip curling in disgust, all but screaming that you weren’t wanted there. You felt almost sick to your stomach. You were strong in your own right, both physically and mentally, but there was something special in the way that she looked at you. You assumed she had a real talent for making people feel like dirt.

You felt your face drop, day only seeming to go from bad to worse. All you wanted to do was escape the situation, but it was almost as if time itself had stopped, like you were moving in slow motion. Your thoughts spiraled, thinking back to days where you’d felt less than confident with your mustache and body hair. Maybe Jotaro would give her the time of day. She was certainly pretty enough, nowhere near as hairy as you were. Maybe she was more-

Unbeknownst to you, Jotaro had looked down at you and back at the girl in front of him. He picked up on your change in mood easily enough. He always could. This morning, you had been in a sour mood at breakfast and now it seemed this bitch had only made it worse with the way she was looking at you, sizing you up in order to gain his attention. Gross.

“Ew,” he scowled, moving again to yank his arm away from her, “Get away from me.” Without even thinking, you took a step away from him, too lost in your thoughts to even realize he wasn’t talking to you. “No– not you. You stay.”

He’d turned to look at you, stern expression crossing his face as he pointed a finger in your direction. After telling the girl off so thoroughly she’d actually let out a whimper, he turned around to you, a deep sigh leaving his mouth.

“Where’d the others go?” He asked, peering over the crowd.

All you could do was shrug, mind still reeling from whatever mess you’d just lived through. Noticing that you’d zoned out again, Jotaro waved a hand in front of your face.

“Hi, I’ve been subtle at hinting that I want your attention all day and you haven’t noticed once and now I’m pissed,” He grumbled, leaning down slightly to be at eye level with you.

“She was such an annoying bitch,” He continued when he didn’t get a response from you, “You’re really gonna waste your day on that?”

You blinked. Once. Twice. 

“What?” You looked up at him, unable to hide the look of confusion that washed over your face.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention all day. Are you even hearing me? Yare yare daze.”

“The whole… walking close to me, brushing your hand against mine… that was-”

He pulled his hat over his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, “If you didn’t want me to-”

“I didn’t know. God, you’re like trying to solve a rubik's cube, Jotaro. I never know what’s going on up there.” You pointed up at his head, rolling your eyes.

You practically ripped his hand from his pocket, intertwining your fingers with his, “You could’ve just asked, ya know?”

Silence fell between the two of you as he began dragging you through the crowd to find the others, gripping your hand tightly in his. Stopping suddenly, you rammed into his back.

“What is it?”

In lieu of a response, he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your lips, barely lingering long enough for you to react before he pulled away.

“Hey, you two!” You heard Polnareff call, “What’s going on here, hmm? We lose you for five minutes and suddenly you’re swapping spit.”

He ribbed Jotaro, “You work fast, my friend, I respect that.”

Jotaro tugged his hat further down, aiming to hide the blush currently creeping up his face, “You’re being annoying.”

He didn’t let go of your hand for the rest of the day, even as the others continued to poke fun at you both.

[svnarintaro]

it’s too late to say sorry

update: part two is up and you can read it here 

authors note: IM IN A IMAGINE WRITING SPREE SOMEONE STOP ME PLEASE also i like using different names for the same characters im sorry :/

synopsis: hitoshi shinsou is known to be a top tier player, you only saw his as a jerk that toyed with other people's feelings, he was on his way for changing for the better; but he blew it.

word count: 1.9k words

warnings: !quirkless au! angst!!

!f*ckboy! hitoshi shinsou x reader 

him and his entire demeanour pissed you off, you were not someone that was hateful but man did this man get on your nerves. girls and guys were falling like flies case of his 'irresistible' aura, the thought made you scoff. he was just another one of those players that care for thing other than themselves and you were sick of this whole pedestal that people put them on, and him oh how you wanted to knock them down  and make them taste the reality of their destruction.

you and your best friends kendo and monoma were discussing what material you missed when you were sick on the way to the cafeteria, kendo perked up as if she remembered important information "oh also about the seating plan in chem.." you groaned and tilted your head back in annoyance, "don't tell me i'm sitting to this trust fund kid," you sarcastically pointed your thumb at the boy to your right, "shut it my dear peasant, you are a charity case to me so be grateful-" and as he was finishing up his sentence he got smack to the back of his head. "kendo that hur-" "be grateful that we haven't left you sorry butt yet." she let out a huff and continued what she was about to say as the three of you got to the cafeteria she took a shaky breath, "you kinda next to shinsou.."

you choked on air, "no no no no, i don't want o be next to a barney headed jerk-" before your rant even started you were cut off by the person behind you. "so you wanna continue talking about me behind my back or do you wanna say it to my face sweetheart, take your pick," you knew that voice, all too well. "first of all save your disgusting nicknames for a person that actually likes you." you turned your heel to give him the dirtiest glare you could fathom to show hitoshi shinsou.

"aww don't be like that baby.. i already know you'll turn around~" his smirk did not fall for a second, it only grew by the minute. "look i'm not looking to have anything on my criminal record, so if you want to keep your limbs in one piece i suggest you take my advice and piss off with my parting gift." you brought your fist to your mouth and shoved your middle finger in our mouth, and you proceeded to pull it out and flip him off and caught up with kendo and monoma who were laughing. 'they really are something else hm?' shinsou thought.

"man does he really put you in a bad mood hm?" neito teased and handed you the sandwich you wanted, "yeah she really did flip him off this time and threaten him?! i think that is the nicest exchange they've had all year!" kendo wheezed out, as you payed for your food you looked back to see shinsou sitting with his friends.

"so let's get this straight, you single handed moly pissed someone off so often they called you barney head, say they might break your limbs AND flip you off?!" kaminari screeched, while todoroki was purely confused, "did shinsou lose his ability to flirt his way out of this situation or something? cause honestly i feel like you lost you mojo a little bit." sero snorted at todoroki, "did you really have to say 'mojo'?" shinsou was just trying to figure out how to woo you now, his ultimate revenge as to get you to like him and break your heart and pummel it to smithereens.

now you had your chemistry class, and you were lab partners with shinsou, the given thought of being within a 2 metre radius of him mad you dread the class. the moment you walked in the class you saw a girl on his lap, her uniform was two sizes too tight, playing with his hair and her skirt rode up to show her red undergarments. "daddy~ can't we just skip?" you gagged at that nickname, the two of them stopped what they were doing and looked at you. the girl looked you up and down and she was obviously annoyed at your presence. "oh don't mind me i'm just a poor witness to see your panties on full display," you shrugged and made your way to your seat, "at least i have someone interested me," the girl smugly said, you rolled your eyes, "at least my coochie isn't free real estate."

the girl let out a 'hmph' and stormed out out the class, "free real estate? that's a new one." you didn't bother looking at him, and you opened your notebook and brought your data booklet out not even sparing him a glance. meanwhile the guy in front of you asked for a pen and you immediately complied and gave him one. hitoshi has never felt more offended from getting ignored and blown off again.

later in the class the teacher gave a worksheet to work on and you got stuck on a certain question and you didn't know what to do, "you forgot to balance the reaction so that's why you got the wrong answer." you looked to see shinsou looking at you, elbow on his table, "for someone who doesn't bother with class you remember a few things." you proceeded to add numbers to the elements that were written. for the rest of the class he continued to help you with your worksheet and the two of you got along for once. 'huh he may not be as bad as i thought he was.'

for the rest of the month he acted like this and it showed you that he wasn't the monster you thought he was, he was kind, considerate, funny and sweet. he avoided other girls too, "to think that you changed shinsou is actually kind of crazy, you're way more tolerable this way," you whispered as the two of you sat together and worked on some chemistry notes together, on his end of the story he was freaking out, he never felt this way, h heart was pounding out of his chest. he wanted it to stop, he was afraid. afraid of you not liking him back, he was afraid of commitment, he was afraid that he wasn't good enough for you.

"listen kaminari it is a reasonable plan, get them to like me, have them fall in love with me and boom i break up with her." for the past hour kaminari has been listening to shinsou on the phone go on and on about how he wanted to mess around with you, "they're an interesting person, they've got guts." the blond giggled, "i mean if you wanna quit the plan and hand them over to me-" "don't think about it rat."

meanwhile he was thinking about how he was so calm around you, he felt the need to drop his act and be himself around you. "looks like someone is getting attached~"

really? did he get attached? no what would be too cliché for his own good. so he sought his time to be taken by girls, other girls where were desperate to be in his attention span, "hey kaminari give me the number of every one of your flings i need to let off some steam.." shinsou needed to get you off his mind.

on the other hand you were talking to kendo, "okay look i know that i said he was trash and whatever but  he changed and.. i think i might like him." you were gushing over all the sweet things he did, all the sweet things he said, you saw all the signs that he returned your feelings. "i say go for it! shoot your shot when you can, just be careful and know that me and neito are here for you and will beat him up if he dares hurt you." kendo was really on edge with him, it was as if shinsou got possessed and she knew something wasn't right, but if he made you happy she couldn't stop you. "thank you kendo~"

it was as if a switch was flipped, the Hitoshi shinsou that you hated was back and had more playthings than ever, make out sessions in the halls, skipping classes to fool around with anyone and what hurt the most was that he was avoiding you like the plague. “he is going through a phase right now, i promise he is better than this you saw how he was weeks ago please guys you have to believe me.” you were crying in monomas room about your ruined week. you knew what was the truth and that was that you were played, you were a fool to think that he was changing for the better. “i knew he was a jerk, y/n you deserve better than this, you deserve someone that will really appreciate you, someone that won’t have to change and will be who they really are in front of you..” you looked up from lap and stared at monoma and kendo. ‘these are my people, they will never betray me.’ “i love you guys,” you declared as you threw your arms around their necks and cried your heart out. ‘hitoshi shinsou you will pay for doing me dirty like this.’

kendo forced you to stay home and rest, you were stressed and not in the head space to be at school right now. it was now lunch and kendo was livid, and was stomping down the corridor to give a piece of your mind to the jerk that broke your heart. “shinsou, i got a bone to pick with you.” she yelled at the purple haired boy, ‘finally i can see how y/n is doing’ he completely misread her words and saw them as an invitation to act buddy buddy with her so he jogged over. however he was not expecting a fist to the face, “you undeniable monster! do you know what you did to her?! you gave her false hope and you have the audacity to think that you can get anything about how she is right now?” her words truly leaked poison and showed she was not playing around, he had hurt you, and he needed to repent. “you think your pathetic superiority complex is something to sneeze at and turn a blind eye to? you think that just because you can play with peoples emotions you’re better than everyone else? well here’s what i think.” groups of people were surrounding everyone and were listening to kendo’s rant, shinsou’s heart dropped, he knew what this meant, he had hurt you. with each sentence the gap between the two got smaller until she got into his face and continued.

“it is disgusting how you can switch your act to lower other people’s guard and once they do so they are underneath your discrepancy and you crush them with no mercy,” flashes of you trying to talk to the guy you liked were flashing into keno’s head, she watched as he broke you down until you were pieces and now she was there for you as you were hopelessly trying to pick them up. a breath broke her flow of thoughts and brought her a second of peace. “stay away from my best friend.” and thats when the world stopped for shinsou, he did all of this to protect himself, he was scared cause there was a chance you could’ve liked him back but he ignored that and hurt you instead. “i’m sorry..” was all that he could say at this point. he couldn’t express anything right now, he was malfunctioning. “it’s too late to say sorry.”

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Dear future husband

So... Thanks for the 900k!!!! Im worried as fuck if I get to 1,000 bjt whatever!

He sighed in relief at seing that for once his office was organized exactly the way he preferred... after hours of inspecting for any dirt or dust.

So some hours of his day would be saved instead of himself cleaning the whole room... and if the situation was serious he would use his quirk.

People just like it to see him piss off.... they begged for it when they didn't followed his orders. So it wasn't technically his fault for overhauling one or two precepts a day for being, what he called, unworthy of workimg on the yakusa or dumb as bugs.

He closed his office and made his way through the hallways before his ears spotted a melody, rather irritating one if you would ask him, accompanied with a beautiful and angelic humming of his angel.

He scoffed slightly before following the sound, shoving his hands on his pants pockets.

'Didn't you just said that you wanted to clean the living room instead of him? Is not what it looks like apparently...'

He opened the door to see yourself while playing and dancing along with a broom, sliding on the floor, wearing one of the socks he bought for you....his eye twitched the slightest for seing that you were dirtying them before he paid attention with the annoying melody.

"I deserve a brake

And don't forget the flowers every anniversary

'Cause if you'll treat me right

I'll be the perfect wife

Buying groceries

Buy-buying what you need"

You made a slightly immitation like you were writing at something and Chisaki arched one of his eyebrows.

What the hell was his dumb yet adorable angel doing now?

"You got that nine to five

But, baby, so do I

So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies

I never learned to cook

But I can write a hook

Sing along with me

Sing-sing along with me-"

You holded the broom close to you while the other hand pointed at some wall while you sayed a very cheerful 'hey' and he himself couldn't help to roll his eyes at seing you didn't noticed his presence.

Too emerged on your song apparently.

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady

Even when I'm acting crazy

Tell me everything's alright"

You placed the broom next to the wall and started to freely dancing in your own sweet way, no more objects to forbid you and the feeling that you had done it already the job made you feel more on the clouds than ever.

"Dear future husband

Here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be

My one and only all my life

Dear future husband

If you wanna get that special lovin'

Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night"

He scoffed quietly and closed the door behind him as he made himself comfortable laying on the wall with crossed arms, never taking his golden eyes off from you.

"After every fight

Just apologize

And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right

Even if I was wrong

You know I'm never wrong

Why disagree?

Why, why disagree?"

You gotta know how to treat me like a lady

Even when I'm acting crazy

Tell me everything's alright

Dear future husband

Here's a few things

You'll need to know if you wanna be

My one and only all my life

Dear future husband

Make time for me

Don't leave me lonely

And know we'll never see your family more than mine"

Why? Why would he ever leave the only good and pure thing on his life lonely he wondered.

He sighed again and made his way quietly to you, his black sock on the floor preventing any sounds to spot his presence before he allowed it.

Each time you took a step he took a step back just to admire you for a bit longer, truly smilling underneath his black mask.

The song was stupid, the rhythm was ridiculous... but yet he found himself adoring the way you were enjoying yourself.

'I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed

Open doors for me and you might get some kisses

Don't have a dirty mind

Just be a classy guy

Buy me a ring

Buy-buy me a ring, baBE-" you yelped loudly at feeling a hand coming from behind you, slidding through your sides to your waist while the other grabbed your right hand and one gloved thumb carresed the ring on your finger.

"I did bought you a ring though." The nonchalantly voice of Kai was really the last thing you wanted tk hear in the middle of your stupid dancing.

"Kai you almost made my heart jump pit of my chest!" You whined while burrowing your face in your hands in embarrassment, feeling all of your face turning beef red while your body refused to move.

Chisaki let go of you to turn of that music, his ears thanked him, before takinga few steps to examine it the room before he returned those big hands of his to tilt your head up woth a hand on your cheek.

He smirked at seing the furious blush on your cheeks. Bastard.

So he had that affect on you still huh? That's surely interesting.

"Continue."

You looked into his eyes with a very confused 'huh?' Before he flipped your forehead.

"The song. Your voice is much more enjoyable to hear than... that thing." He sayed with a bit of disgust the last part.

You gagged before trying again to formulate words, your embarrassment of being caught still on affect.

"Come on." He touched foreheads together "Is not going to kill neither of us, besides..." he went to whisper very lowly in your ear "My fiance's voice is the most beautiful thing... like a angel's call, my own and precious angel."

You blushed even more at his words, his actions not really helping but you still lowered your head a bit as you tried again, only this time your voice in the air.

"Dear future husband

Here's a few things

You'll need to know if you wanna be

My one and only all my life

Dear future husband

If you wanna get that special loving

Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night"

He grabbed onto your arms, relieved that you had showered and bathed, and placed them to envelop around his neck as he monotonously stared you down, but hints of smile showing it to you as you gave him your own, embarrassment long forgotten at seing the serenity and calm golden eyes staring you down.

You decided to be a little adventurous and stood up on your tip toes to sweetly sing the last part.

"Future husband, better love me right~"

His eyes widen for a brief second before he narriwed them at you, one hand from your waist coming to lower his mask down.

"I wouldn't ask your hand in marriage if I wasn't sure about my decisions."

"I know!" You giggled "Is just a song!"

"A very stupid one if I do say so myself."

"Then... why did you demanded that-"

He shutted you up with the best strategy he had, the bold action both pleasing himself and you.

A kiss.

[mollydollyjournals]

Monday 25th January; 156lbs

I didn't check my body composition today. I just stepped on the scales and left my phone in my bedroom, which means it doesn't send info to the app. So I know that I weigh a little less than the other day, but still way too much.

Toilet tmi again. Im still really constipated and it's actually just fucking painful. The biggest issue is it's not that I haven't been eating. I always try to eat reasonably high fiber (compared to my caloric intake anyway - 8-9g fiber a day isn't much for a normal 2000kcal diet, but it is for 800kcal) and if I need more then I have some particularly high fiber stuff like pulses. Fruit and veg is a good way to go. It's been 3-4 days now so I actually have been eating a bit more to try to make it happen, including higher fiber, but still nothing. I took some stimulant lax last night and still nothing. Had yogurt and coffee and still nothing.

I have this pain in my abdomen too. I suspected some internal bleeding last week or the week before so I'm sure something is up. Just I don't know what I should do about it. I don't want to go back to the doctor and ask them to investigate something else again. I think after my liver scan and blood tests came up fine they'll think I'm lying or exaggerating. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Is it an impaction? Do I have something constructing my intestines? An ulcer? I have really bad acid reflux too. It's like my digestive system is too full and it's just not emptying. My waist feels huge. It makes me actually scared to eat for physical reasons, because if it's not stimulating my gut to move like it should be, then all I'm doing is putting more pressure on my insides.

I'm currently drinking some osmotic lax, which is all I can do. It's what you're supposed to do for impaction. I bought it specifically because I've had these problems before and you're not meant to take stimulant lax, and sometimes it'll resolve itself but it can still be painful and also it'll take longer. Osmotic lax doesn't work fast though - you have to give it a few days. During those few days I'm just reabsorbing waste matter from my intestines. Its disgusting and unhealthy. And when it finally does work, I might have the opposite problem. In the past I've been reluctant to take lax for this because I've had instances where it acted kind of like...a plug. That once it's passed, everything else goes way too fast after it. Sorry that's gross. I guess if anyone wanted more motivation to eat properly it's so your digestive system doesn't get fucked up like this. I noticed a lot of mucus not long ago so maybe the regular mucus layer got stripped and hasn't replenished. Idk.

Other than that there is family drama happening with my brother who is currently in a psych ward and my stupid mother who thinks the sun shines directly out of his anus. My entire life she's treated him like her precious baby and I've just been secondary. Maybe because she associated him with my older brother who died. Who fucking knows. But they're stressing me the fuck out and pissing me off. I keep telling her what to do and what not to do, which I get from trying to properly research his conditions and others similar and from having dealt with her when she was in a psychotic episode, and she just doesn't. She thinks if she just talks nice and loves him enough he'll get better. As if that isn't the whole reason he's a spoiled piece of shit who thought he could take all the drugs with no consequences. This probably sounds very hypocritical from an alcoholic who has trouble not drinking even after physical health problems, but there's much more to it in my brother's case that I cba to go into.

The worst part is she gives him all the attention and understanding that I want and haven't had. I've spent the last few days feeling especially lonely and invisible. I've been talking about it a bit on social media and only a couple of friends responded. Hb came up to my room and saw me crying and basically acted like an awkward dad. Bf hasn't acknowledged much of what I've posted and we still haven't spoken directly. If not for those few friends I might have done something drastic. I don't know. I need to know if I'm actually liked loved and cared for. Missed at all. Lockdown has fucked with it so much and I already had trouble with it. I feel like I need to do something big to get attention. I could just be honest about my feeling like I want to kill myself and see who responds. But I've spoken about it before and people just kind of 'haha same' if that. I don't know if they realise that I'm genuinely close to doing something, or just don't care.

I do have borderline personality disorder and I'm so aware of the stigma. I don't want to be manipulative or abusive. I want people to want to be around me, not because I forced them. I'm so scared of being needy or annoying or overbearing or anything like that. And then if I do say something, I'm already feeling really bad and struggling a lot, so for it to be ignored hurts so much. That's why I end up drinking. I already have trouble seeing my friends post about their struggles and get so much support and love offered, when I get barely any. One of my best friends also has BPD but also everyone loves her. She has a successful small business doing what she loves, if I go anywhere with her strangers stop her and compliment her or ask to take her photo but pretend I don't exist or give me a passing smile. It's not that I don't think she deserves those things or love and support. It's just that I want it too. She's one of the few people who's reached out to me recently and I really appreciate it. I guess she knows how it feels. I just wish I wasn't so jealous.

So for my brother to start saying stuff in the family group chat and my mum to just start fawning over him and all that? Just the extra salt I really didn't need in my wounds. For one thing, I told her not to play into how he is because he'll feed off the drama. I know this because of who he is, that he really is an attention seeker, and that all 3 of us have a tendency to get caught up in things. My brother and I inherit our cluster B personality traits from her. I told her not to get into it and remain impartial. She didn't. I even messaged her and my dad separately and told them that I called the hospital and asked them to check on my brother, but she hasn't given me so much as a thank you.

She's up early for work and I sleep on Mars time, so my dad is still asleep. He'll probably say something when he gets up in a few hours. It all feels backwards. He was so abusive to me growing up. He was unnecessarily strict and horrible to me all the time and kicked me out and disowned me regularly. He tore down my entire sense of self and called me stupid and made sure I realised that if I wasn't doing well it was my own fault and I wasn't trying hard enough. But now he keeps a level head and we reconnected after years of not talking because my brother and mum both had a psychotic episode at the same time a few years ago. I hated him so much but now his approval and support is worth the most. But it's the same problem again - he seems to genuinely realise now that his overly authoritarian parenting was wrong. It's just how it is in a lot of African cultures, and his father was especially abusive, so he wasn't well equipped. He's doing things differently with my younger half brother. But why couldn't it have been me? Why didn't I get to have a nice dad who acknowledges his humanity? My half brother deserves it, but why couldn't I have that while I was growing up too?

It just makes me feel really abandoned. In every situation, there's always someone else who gets what I want, and I don't. I hate my brother so much. I feel like it'd be better if he was dead. But then my mum would spiral, and I'm not really that cold, so I phoned the hospital to talk to them and get them to check on him. Phone calls make me so nervous. I was shaking. Before the call, while I made the call, and for a long time afterwards. I didn't even get acknowledged.

I want a drink.

[madamsixx]

Beyond The leather Chapter 21: Needy Nikki

A little smut warning

February 11, 1986

I was thinking a lot about Nikki and what happened between us yesterday. I know he said he didn't want to be my boyfriend, so I was wondering to my self what we were. I mean imagine if we did have sex yesterday, what would that make us? Two people who are just having casual sex? That's not the type of person I am.

"Earth to Iman we are waiting for you to walk!" The director yelled.

I snapped out of my thoughts and realized I was on the cat walk at rehearsals. I started strutting down the aisle and smiling like I wasn't just day dreaming... how embarrassing. I turned and walked back to the back of the stage and into the back room.

"Girl are you ok? Cause it dosen't seem like your here?" Rachel ask with worry.

"I am...I just have a lot of things on my mind." I say putting my hand on my hips and pacing around the room.

"Like what?" She stopped me from pacing by putting her hands on my shoulders.

I couldn't tell Rachel, as much as I wanted to talk her she would call me disgusting for even thinking about Nikki Sixx. And I didn't need her thinking about me like that.

"Dont worry about it Rach Im good." I laugh sarcastically.

"All right ladies great rehearsals see you tomorrow at the same time 9am!" The director yelled.

We left the venue and headed into the limo. The girls were all talking about the fashion show and excited about dress rehearsals coming up. I rolled my eyes and just looked out the window. I was annoyed because once again I was thinking about Nikki rather than thinking about fashion week. When we reached the hotel I quickly ditched the girls I wanted to call Lisa and talk to her about the situation that was going on. She's the only one who really knew about me and Nikki and our drama. I stood at my door looking in my purse for my key when I heard my own door open.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" I yelled.

"Surprise!" He smirked. "I actually have a day off today. I didnt realize it." He moved to the side so I could come in.

"Yeah cause you were probably coked out of your mind." I walked in and put my purse down. I looked at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Now again what the hell are you doing in my room? I repeat.

"I flirted with the hotel clerk and she let me in your room." He shrugged.

This guy is something else.

I raised my brows and bit the side of my cheek. "How did you know I was in London and what hotel I was staying in. Cause I know it's not by coincidence that your here? You planned this!" I point out.

He grins smugly and shakes his head. He walks over to my couch and sits down, kicking his feet up and on the table and changing the channel to MTV.

"I have a better question who's Derek Richards?" He looks at me with an unamused look on his face.

"W...who?" I asked trying to play it cool.

He chuckels. "Princess don't play me for a fool." His lips then go straight and his eyes turn a dark shade of green. He stands up and walks towards me hovering over me. "Who's Derek?" He asks again but this time with a very deep voice.

I dry gulp. "He's a friend Nikki, just a friend." I softly mumble.

Is it weird that I find him attractive even though he scares the hell out of me when he's possessive and intimidating?

"He better be." He grazed my bottom lip with his thumb. "I don't like sharing what belongs to me." He leans in and kisses my forehead then my nose and then my lips. It was a very needy kiss. I moan into his lips as he deepens the kiss. He puts his arms around my waist then backs me up into the wall pressing and grinding himself onto me. I moan at the feeling of his erection causing me to become wet.

"Mmmmm you feel that princess?" He groans as he presses and moves his erection on me. "This is yours baby."

"Hey Sixx you in there!" Tommy yells banging on my door.

We both breath out. Nikki grumbles then opens the door. "Yes T-bone what do you want?" He asks agitated.

"Well for starters you might want to take care of that dude." He laughs pointing humorously at Nikki's bulge in his pants. Nikki rolls his eyes and moves away from the door letting Tommy in.

"Iman what the fuck?" Tommy eyes went wide. He looked at Nikki than looked back at me. "Dude so this why you switched up our tour schedules this year?" Tommy chuckled looking at me. Nikki sat on the couch and kicked his feet up on my table again.

Now I understand what Vince was saying.

Flashback

"So what country are you guys heading to next for the Theater of Pain tour?" I asked.

"Well were going to Europe but it's really weird. Last year Nikki all of a sudden started changing up the countries and schedules. I dunno it came out of the blue like he was trying to have us be in certain countries on certain days. He even went as far as to change up the hotel we were staying at. He's a weird dude." Vince licked his spoon.

"Yeah he is. Like today he showed up at my Teen Vouge shoot. I was shocked because I didn't tell him I was there. And to make matters worse he payed off the security guard to let him in." I said scooping another spoon of ice cream.

Flashback ended

Nikki changed up his tour so he could be in the same country and hotel as me. But I was still wondering how he knew. How did he know my whole schedule? The magazine shoots I would be at? He knew the time and the places.

"How do you know my schedule Nikki?" I furrowed my brows. He looked at me then looked away.

"Who gives a fuck! Your going out with us tonight! It's an off day for Motley fucking Crue and were gonna fuck shit up!" Tommy yelled and picked me up spinning me around.

"Woah ok Tommy!" I shouted. He put me down and pushed me into my room. "Go get ready, dress sexy were going to a club. But not too sexy Nikki will rip a guys head off if he tries to touch you!" Tommy laughed humorously.

I stumbled into my room after Tommy pushed me in. I never agreed to go any where with them. Why am I always stuck with these guys? I have to be up tomorrow for 7 am so if I go out I'm not staying out late. I grabbed my suitcase and looked for a dress to wear out. I found my black strapless bodysuit to put on. It hugged my curves just right, then I grabbed my thigh high boots I thought it would look good with the outfit. I grabbed my make up and went to the washroom to fix my self up. While in there I heard another knock on the door and voices in my room. I walked out to see who came in and saw Vince and Mick.

"Vince!" I squealed and ran and hugged him.

"Hey darling." He hugged back.

"So now we know why you changed shit up." Mick murmured as he walked and sat down on my couch. Nikki glared at Mick and pulled a baggie out of his pocket.

"Hey Mick nice to see you." I waved at him.

"You too kid." He waved back holding a bottle of vodka.

I went back into my room and went into the washroom to finish my make up. I heard the door slam and poked my head out and saw Nikki walking towards me. He looked pissed off and I was not in the mood to deal with him if he was.

"Why don't you hug me like that?" He grinds his teeth together. Staring at me with his piercing green eyes.

I sigh and look at him. "Nikki please dont start ok. You want me to come out with you and I will. But if your moody and getting angry with me I'll stay in doors." I warn.

He sighs and kisses the top of my head. "Kiss me." He softly speaks in my ear.

I turn to face him and smile. I cup his cheeks with my hands, stand on my tip toes, and peck his lips then pull away. He becomes needy and wraps his arms around my body and pulls me close to him. He then backs me up against the sink and starts kissing and sucking my neck making my heart beat faster and faster. He moves one hand down and slowly starts rubbing his fingers in between the fabric of my private. I look up at him and breathlessly try to speak but my words are caught in my throat. He lifts me up on top of the sink and I wince as he pulls my hair back exposing my neck to him. He sucks my neck again leaving bruises and marks. By this point I start to feel needy too and move my hand down and start to rub the bulge in his leather pants. He groans and moves towards my lips and smashes his lips to mine slipping his tounge into my mouth. I wrap my other arm around his neck and continue to rub his erection with the other. He pulls my top down exposing my breasts to him. He slowly rubs my nipples and I let out a muffled moan on his lips

"Uh...uh.. Nikki." I breathlessly moan.

"What do you want me to do princess?" He whispers in between kisses.

The bedroom door slams open and we pull away from each other fixing our selves.

"What the fuck Vince?" Nikki barks at him.

Vince looks at the both of us and shakes his head. "Were waiting on you two so can you hurry the fuck up?" He snorts. He gives me a dirty look then walkes out of my bedroom slamming the door shut. I scratch my neck then look at Nikki.

He sighs. "I'll wait for you out there." He says leaning in kissing my forehead and walking out of the room.

Oh boy!

We finaly reached the club and it was not my scene. This was a bar for people who enjoyed rock music, drugs, and drinking to the point where you pass put. There was a bar and a booth for the boys, and there was a small dance floor. The boys ordered drinks and there were tons of woman flocking towards them. I stuck with cranberry juice, and had Nikki's arm tightly wrapped around my waist. Tommy and Nikki started drinking to the point where they were belligerent. They pulled out there baggies and lined up there coke on the table and started snorting it. They even started snorting coke off of womans breasts and thats when I got up and left the booth. I looked around to find Vince and Mick. I saw Mick sitting at a booth drinking his life away yelling at some guys across from him then looked over at Vince who was tongue deep in a womans mouth. I walked over to Vince and tapped his shoulder.

"Don't you have a wife and two kids?" I pointed out.

Vince looks at me and I could tell he was furious. Maybe that wasn't a good idea what I just did. But I wasn't meaning it to be malicious I was just trying to point out that he has a family at home.

Vince let's the girl go and pushes her. "Fuck off get lost!" He yells at the girl. He turns back to me and gives me a dirty look. "Dont even think about judging me on what I do with myself when your the side whore for Nikki!" He spat.

My lips parted and I was shocked at what he said. "I'm not Nikki's side whore Vince." I shot back.

He laughs humorously. "Really cause from what I saw in your bathroom you looked like you were." He moved closer to my face. "And it's funny because before he came to London he fucked his junkie girlfriend Nicole and they talked about moving in together."

"I can smell the alcohol on your breath Vince so I'm going to let it slide because your drunk. Tomorrow we can talk." I stated.

He flipped me off then walked away and grabbed another girl and took her into the booth. I asked the bar tender for another cranberry juice and made my way to the dance floor. Patt Benatars love is a battlefield started playing and I started dancing. I wasn't paying any mind to the people around me I just wanted to feel free and dance my worries away. I came out to have fun so at least let me try and do that. I was swaying my hips side to side when I felt someone's hand push my back and my front ended up pressing against the wall with the person pressed hard against me. I smelt sweat, musky cologne, cigarette, and whiskey on the person. They started nipping and sucking my ear. I was ready to fight back until I turned my head a little to see that it was Nikki.

He forcefully pulled my ass back to him and started rubbing his crotch aggressively against my bum. He bit and sucked my ear while whispering all the dirty things he wanted to do to me. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back so my head would be resting on his shoulder. My heart was racing with anticipation for what he was going to do next. He locked his eyes with me as he slowly moved his hand down between my legs and squeezed my privates through the fabric of my bodysuit. He then pressed himself against me to the point where my breasts were squished against the wall.

I moaned and closed my eyes. I winced when he gripped my hair tighter. "Look at me." He said with a stern voice. I opened my eyes and wouldn't dare to close them again. I stared into his darkened green orbs as he smirked down at me. "This pussy is mine tonight." He drunkenly whispers in my ear. "I'll fucking ruin you." He growls. He squeezes my privates again making me let out a loud moan that makes people stare at us. He let's my hair go and moves his hand away. He gives me a long needy kiss at the back of my head and slowly backs away from me. I turn around panting and sweating looking at him. He smirks and grabs a bottle of jack from the bartender then sits back in the booth with Tommy.

I'm actually terrified of the thought of Nikki having me. I can't have him ruin me down there.

I'm a Virgin.

[grimesscarl]

hoo boy

we got a lot to unpack today

negan is.........so attractive i’m sorry

also brandon is annoying as shit

not sad about that at all

sad for the mom and kid tho :(

🚨 lucille 🚨 lucille 🚨 lucille 🚨

the jacket is back oh gOd

the whistling gave me a mild heart attack ngl

CARL A WHOLE CARL CONVERSATION IM CRYIJBGFRGKGFE

i love that negan doesn’t knock alexandria

like he still believes in it

and he doesn’t shit talk rick

and he does not accept talking shit about carl no sir fUck you my baby boy deserves Respect and negan knows he was the goddamn future

ugh i miss carl y’all

also okay negan did threaten to make rick cut off carl’s hand but he didn’t!

and he was gonna kill carl that one time but i’ve said it before i hate what negan did but i understand why in his pov it was justified and also he didn’t kill carl

if he had we wouldn’t be having this conversation bc negan would be dead

and i would hate him

yes i am very biased

no i do not take constructive criticism

MOVING ON

ezekiel D:

magna killed a disgusting human being why would we be against this

still can she calm down why is she going batshit

why is yumiko suddenly in charge what

can alden’s not dad chill bc I STILL DONT THINK THATS THE WHISPERERS LYDIA SAID THEY WOULDNT BE DOING THAT SHIT BUT MAYbe they are? idk IDK but chILL

siddiq and dante: new bffs? i’m down i like dante now he’s great

kelly babe not to doubt your abilities but why in gods name are you doing any of that right now

also um!! that’s a lot of stuff to have stolen!! maggie’s gonna get back and be PISSED if y’all are fucking around

can maggie come back now i honestly don’t care about yumiko we barely know her why is she in charge

noW ABOUT THE ENDING: i do not think negan is going to side against alexandria and if he does i give it ten minutes tops before he can’t stand alpha and kills her

(please god let negan insult alpha’s dumbass shirt i need that pleaSE)

like first of all he just put everything on the line for lydia, he’s not gonna screw her over by sending her back to an abusive situation

second of all, negan has a CODE and alpha’s code doesn’t match up with his at ALL

third of all, negan isn’t gonna get judith killed

fourth of all, this episode is negan Not going back to who he was and Supporting alexandria and the world carl believed in and rick “died” to save

god i wish carl were here he wouldn’t be taking any of this shit and he and michonne would be running alexandria so well and fucK i miss my baby boy

[localinferiorgood]

You know what.....

I realize probably nobody is gonna read this shit but I really gotta rant so here it goes.

People really don't understand that some of us did not grow up in touchy-feely households, where feelings were taught and valued or whatever the fuck. Where your parents told you 'be who you are! Everything will work out!'. Some of us grew up in households that told us to shut the fuck up about what we wanted and felt and do what the adults wanted us to do. What they wanted us to act like. That told us that other people's happiness is more important than our own and that we should not bother people with our pathetic and annoying feelings and problems.

Seriously, it pisses me off when people are like "just open to me! It's ok! Trust me!" And then get offended and shit when you don't. Like I've been taught my whole life that my feeling are pathetic and disgusting and nothing more than a burden on other people. And that im probably just overdramatizing anyway (which I mean is probably true in most situations but still). Plus, some of us got in trouble for expressing our feelings, even from a super young age (like 4 years old). So don't get offended when someone doesn't automatically just lay down their life problems and tell you everything. Or anything.

I get that some people didn't grow up that way and that it's aggravating when I don't tell you 'whats wrong' (though a lot of times nothing really is wrong it's just my face). I realize that it seems like I don't like you, or trust you or whatever, or that im just being a bitch sometimes. I realize that I may seem sometimes like a block of ice when it comes to my feelings. But it's not necessarily you, and when you begin prying because apparently 'im fine' means 'pry into my personal life' to some people, my brain automatically begins pushing you away (though for some God forsaken reason it does that when I start getting close to anyone too so idk). And when you get offended and make it all about you, it of course makes me feel guilty and that pisses me off. Especially since there's really no way to fix it once we start falling apart.

I would also like to add to my disorganized rant that some people have major trust issues that can greatly effect how close they can get to people and how much their brain even allows them to tell people. Even if they know on some level the trust issue is ridiculous, and that they need to trust someone, they fucking can't. These people have been taught, whether from a young age or from lots of experience, that people really can't be trusted. People will always tell your secrets. Most people suck at fucking keeping shit to themselves, even if they claim they can. So even if you think, or know, you can keep a secret, and the other person may know that (rationally) as well, they can't tell you shit because of the nagging paranoia, and the fear of people hurting them if someone else knows anything about them.

So PLEASE try to understand that when some people don't tell you things, it's not always about you specifically. Don't get offended and act like the other person is a bitch or hates you because they won't tell you everything and be emotionally vulnerable with you. Try to be patient with us, most of us know we're fucked up. You never know, in a couple years you might be able to get close enough that they will spill their feelings and problems and issues with you (something most of us sorely need, even if we won't admit it).

[thedelanceybruddas]

Can you teach me how to rp Morris, i’m really bad at it and it’s a problem

ok so this is super late BUT youre giving me a good excuse to put together my Morris Personality HC™ so thank u anon. i apologize that this is focused less on roleplaying him and more on writing him but. i think that’s close enough.

ok so if we’re looking at the script of the musical we know that Morris is a HUGE instigator. his lines, in order, are: “you want some of that too, ya lousy crip?” - “hey Oscar, looks like it was bum information we got about a strike happening here today. not that i’m complaining; i know my skull bustin’ arm could use a day of rest” - “hey, ya working or trespassing? what’s your pleasure?” - “shut it, ya stupid crip!” - “and now, we’ve been given discretion to handle you as we see fit. yeah, so behave.” - “you can sleep right here, on this old printing press. *SMACK SMACK* now that there is firm.” 

a lot of his character is displayed through his physicality; when Race says his whole “it would be a pleasure to tell Weasel myself” line, the camera cuts to Morris and Oscar, and Morris does a sort of pointy ‘i’m watching you’ gesture; a lot of Morris’ threats are just physical gestures not included in the script. the way the actor plays him makes him seem a little less like a goon and more like a jerk older brother; constantly taunting and provoking the newsies, but not really rising to action unless he gets a reaction. every line in the script might have a threatening gesture accompanying it, but it’s like he’s daring the newsies to do anything and doesn’t really have a plan if they do take him up on it. when jack knocks the Delanceys down with Crutchie’s crutch, Oscar is immediately for retribution (“just wait till I get my hands on you!”) but Morris doesn’t respond at all; he follows his brother in chasing Jack, of course, but for someone who keeps talking big game he has no response for when the newsies actually fight back. this rule changes for Crutchie; out of the two Delanceys, Morris verbally and physically attacks Crutchie whenever he gets the opportunity. you can have your own interpretation as to why, but it isn’t excusable.

when he and Oscar are (presumably) hired by Pulitzer to intimidate Jack, Morris takes more of a hands-on approach; when they’re in the distribution yard, Oscar is the one that handles talking to the Newsies the most with little back-and-forth quips and jeers and such, while Morris only talks to them before work starts, either at the gates or just as they’re coming through them, or when his job is to beat on them. he seems to care about seeming responsible/mature when we see him working, whether for Wiesel or Pulitzer, but especially the latter, since that’s when he takes control of the situation the most; presenting the printing press to Jack, telling him to behave — Oscar only has one line in that scene, and that’s to add on to what Morris was saying with a threat (“but just in case, I’ve been polishing my favourite brass knuckles”). when compared to when he’s working for Pulitzer, it’s seems like he’s letting Oscar be the boss of the distribution yard by deliberately keeping out of things; now, I see Morris as the older brother (I have a post saying why) so I interpret this as Morris letting his baby brother do the cool stuff like handing out the papes and talking to the newsies while he handles the dirty work. whatever interpretation you choose, the point is that Morris very rarely speaks to the newsies when he starts working (i.e. after the gate has been unlocked.)

you may notice that literally every single line in the musical is him either instigating a confrontation or him taunting the newsies. if we look at the 1992 script (minus that one scene because dear god please do not use that scene for roleplay inspiration) its a lot more detailed in stage direction + it has a few different lines so we can learn a bit more about him!

the first direction in the script for Morris is for him to push past Jack with ‘deliberate aggression’. when Oscar pushes Snipeshooter to the back of the line, 'Oscar and Morris glare at the crowd, daring anyone to do anything about it.’ – basically that whole first scene with them is showing that they’re just stupid tough goons. in the scene where the Delanceys are chasing jack, at one point, when Morris has him, the script says 'Morris lifts him high into the air to smash him onto the cobblestones.’ However, this doesn’t happen in the actual scene; the only time in Carrying the Banner that’s remotely similar to this is when the Delancey’s are fighting Jack inside the circle of newsies, where Morris pushes Jack down and tackles him, showing him as the heavy-hitter of the duo, further enforcing that he’s the brother who gets his hands dirty.

later, when Jack gets the extra paper for Davey from Wiesel, Wiesel is PISSED and the script says that he backhands Morris (who isn’t even the one who gave Davey the extra paper). This doesn’t make it into the film either (probably because it’s kind of dark, GEE DISNEY DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS DARK) but it could point to Weasel being abusive towards the brothers.

morris, compared to oscar, seems super sadistic, especially when he grins at Crutchie before he and Oscar drag him off to the cops - and later in the script Crutchie fills us in that Oscar and Morris 'worked him over’ - either before or after turning him in.

we don’t see anything special specific to Morris again until a while later, after Jack becomes a scab; script says 'The Delanceys pass by; Morris grinning at him, bouncing a club in his hand.’

however, this isn’t accurate to the movie, as Morris has a blank, almost annoyed expression. this is significant due to Oscar’s next line: “come with us, cowboy. we’re gonna fix your pal Davey today — fix 'im so’s he can’t walk no more.” Morris tells him to shut up, which, in the script seems like it’s supposed to be said in a way akin to ‘shut up dude, we’re not supposed to tell him that’ but the way the actor delivers it seems more like ‘too far, shut up.’ watching the scene, you can see how Morris slowly shakes his head as Oscar speaks, and the ‘shut up’ is delivered as he pulls Oscar away from Jack. this line is the one that I’ve noticed most fans using to interpret Morris as more sympathetic. if you do want to play Morris semi-sympathetically or try to redeem him, this line is what you want to look at.

the next Delancey scene is weirdly violent and disgusting for Disney and i know it’s a cop-out but i tend to ignore it so i will not cover it here.

one last note is that after jack beats up the Delanceys for The Previous Scene Morris yells “Ya better run, cowboy – we’re tellin’ Weas! You’ll be back in the Refuge by supper time!” haha tattletale

some extra stuff that may or may not be canon: morris’ trading card reads ‘Born in SoHo and worked on the family farm. Abandoned by his parents, believes in survival of the fittest and sticks like glue to his brother, Oscar. They work with their Uncle Wiesel, keeping order at the distribution window of “The World”.’ it’s pretty likely that Mike Faist wrote this, but it’s nice to use as a kind of baseline for Morris’ characterization. Mike also says in the Meet the Newsies video for Morris that “deep down… y’know, really deep down, he’s actually like a really nice guy.”

across both versions of Newsies, we have these consistencies: Morris and Oscar work for their uncle Wiesel (they call him Uncle Weas in the movie), they fight with the Newsies at least twice, and they fight the most with Jack.

we also have the discrepancies: first, the ableism toward Crutchie. in the musical, both of the Delanceys (but mostly Morris) single him out from the other newsies specifically to bully and harass him for being disabled. Morris calls him stupid, assaults him, and calls him a slur twice. it’s obvious that he does this because he’s disabled. for example, Morris snatches his crutch away after Racetrack and Oscar start fighting (“ain’t your father one of the strikers? “guess he didn’t take care of me”) yet does literally nothing to Racetrack who’s the one that started it in the first place, not to mention that Crutchie really didn’t do anything besides stand nearest to Morris. in contrast, the 1992 version has a scene that basically mirrors this scene, except instead of Morris making Crutchie fall over by taking his crutch, Oscar shoves one of the very smallest newsies, Snipeshooter, towards the back of the line of newsies (“in the back you lousy little shrimp.”) Morris is of course still abrasive in the 1992 version, but the only time he SPECIFICALLY picks on Crutchie is when he’s literally the only one left in the distribution yard after the chaos, and Oscar and Morris are basically working in tandem at this point. Oscar kicks away Crutchie’s crutch, then they both drag him away by his shoulders — Morris does kind of menace Crutchie with his baton, but he doesn’t hit him. Throughout the entire movie (and the bar is touching the ground), at no point do Morris or Oscar call Crutchie a slur.

the ableist slurs and behaviours by Morris in the stage musical were probably included because there are basically no other opportunities to show the Delancey’s villainy, since Sarah isn’t a character and Jack never works for Wiesel — in regards to Morris’ personality and writing him, it’s probably meant to showcase either a superiority complex, his sadism (as evident in the 1992 film), or the ‘survival of the fittest’ mentality referenced in his trading card bio.

basically, when writing Morris I’d pick and choose from every one of his showcased aspects between both iterations, and I wouldn’t fall into the trap of trying to make him so sympathetic that he’s OOC. he’s mean, confrontational, vindictive, petty, violent; he looks out for his brother, tries to be responsible, and doesn’t seem to hold a grudge (especially against Jack). of course, since he’s supposed to be a one-dimensional Disney villain, you have to add some depth by yourself. for example, I headcanon that he’s older than Oscar to add a kind of asshole older brother dynamic. honestly, you don’t have to consider every single bad thing he’s ever done in canon when writing him; imo writing Morris is harder than writing Oscar because, since Morris is more stoic and physical than Oscar, it’s much harder to try and imagine his motivations and thoughts, much less build a personality that’s redeemable. Just imagine canon Morris as the skeleton and then build on top of it; don’t take away what he is OR how he’s hurt other characters, but build on top of it. just be prepared to think up a metric fuckton of headcanons. 

[talesfromacrip]

Tea Time With Yours Truly:

Don’t you love it when you finally realize you’re truly moving on from a toxic situation like the adult you are, when a song you like makes you rethink your visions, feelings, etc. of someone?? or it that me? everything starts to feel entirely new again though regardless. better n’ cooler bc you know you’re not suffering anymore.. just, a fantastic feeling. woo

fucking incredible. I’m F R E E. absolutely free. still hurts though. some things made me realize I should’ve done it sooner and I did. as best I could, i did.I tried all I could and I succeeded for the most part,but damn do they haunt me so badly. I hate it.

Go away, pest. the last 5/6 years have been an emotional roller coaster for me and I want off.somehow I did,the ride still catching me occasionally and pulling me back on, dragging me to the unknown

((some good things happened here n’ there like me meeting some friends I still talk toooo, playing new games and finding new animes))

it’s just good to know though that my mind doesn’t associate them with anything anymore bc they didn’t deserve anything much tbh. just like told me

———

———

I really want to bug my online buds constantly. From when I get up to when I fall asleep. send them memes, all that funky jazz..but I don’t. I can’t. I feel like I’m too clingy.. too needy.

I AM ACTUALLY. I shouldn’t care, but I do. Maybe it’s because I’m too emotional, too sensitive, too much, blah, blah, blah. Something "bad". Shit the grump hated that has just stuck to me like black balloons since. (( NF is the same with his mental issues. I’m glad to know I’m not alone with thinking of depression, anxiety, etc. as black balloons. Their like lifeless weights, but we still feel them weighing us down))

I love constant communication, especially from close friends.. bug me. 24/7. whenever, whatever. I don’t do anything. much that is. I’m overwhelmed when communicating nowadays so help me out pls??or not><

I don’t ask for it much though bc i was put down for asking for it. I was always told to say certain things as well, not think a certain way, send things at certain times. nothing nsfw even though we where adults. no art much bc it was always judged, other dumb shit.. I felt like the ultimate fucking bother bc of that.. person.

So I stayed to myself because of that and that made me worse ove time.

((I drove some people away when I did and I still am I feel,but I’m trying not too.. I couldn’t deal with myself though, I felt absolutely horrible. When I did, I said some nasty shit and I regret it all because a prick made me feel like complete shit and worthless about myself. I didn’t have to take it out on others like that, but wow.. I did. If I told anyone though,he’d come after me and that was what I didn’t want.. so nice huh?))

I felt like a broken down old dog. I still feel like that occasionally not as bad. not a pleasant feeling at all though

Are all of the things that make me like this really that bad or annoying or make me even less though?? fuck no it doesn’t. It makes me wayyyy better and much more cooler honestly, but those feelings still linger bc the manipulation was so bad..

—

Why the hell would you want me to be boring or better yet be with a boring person who doesn’t talk much and puts others down for similar behavior??

Why would I be with someone who doesn’t share any interests with me much or puts mine down bc they’re childish or unnecessary??

Why would I be with someone that doesn’t communicate anything at all and whatnot,like...please tell me??

I’m genuinely fucking interested.

-

They told me I was always being too nice all the time. too soft, too babyish. too honest. too sensitive. blah, blah, blahhh. whenever I said something that was tooo personal or informative it’s like: "That’s too much information don’t ya think??" UMM, N O?? "Don’t say that around me ever or I’ll unfriend you and never speak to you again." Okay.. THEN DO IT, PUSSY.

Fucking asshat, douche canoe looking ass cunt.. ((He didn’t like those words or almost any word tbh it seems. true killjoy, I swear and I thought I was. I couldn’t even say oh my god or anything with lord in it because he’d then start saying "why are you saying that when you’re an atheist?" Umm actually I’m agnostic.. ))

he hated the whole "umm actually" deal too that I would do.. literally drove me up the damn wall every time. who fucking cares if I say that?? I’ve been accustomed to it because of my parents and people in general. come the fuck on now

It’s pretty common to say, twit. Don’t take it seriously, joke or not to piss me off to make you happy..man, he irritated the hell out of me and I’m glad he’s gone. like..look ‘bud’ should I just be angry and a constant liar and hateful and just, overall vile like you then all the time?? Guess so huh!! ohh boy!!

Which was almost that unfortunately.. i’m not good at lying and all like you though, you snake. when I did it wasn’t how I was feeling, it was how you felt.. which disgusted me.

I was always honest to you. maybe a few lies, but those were mostly about certain games that I didn’t really play and what I was laughing at. which was your dumb ass most of the time.

He made me start to hate things that made me very happy by being a total prick about it.. I miss feeling overwhelmed with overflowing joy for the things that bring and brought me peace.

I still have it, but it’s not as strong as it was before because some dumb fuck stepped on it too much telling me I’m weak in the process.

I couldn’t like anything anymore much without hearing him yelling at me occasionally and others as well that I never noticed till everything happened. just,yelling at me loudly and telling me how awful i am and other annoying, idiotic shit.. maybe that was your plan all along , to ruin me. ruin my confidence, my strength and my will to move up and thrive in life..

you tried dragging me down your well for being myself when you couldn’t.. pathetic. I bet you’re happy bc you feel like you ‘succeeded’ with this,but you didn’t win the war.

You never will

———

———

they always manipulated me to dislike the things in life that made me happy. This irritated me a lot.. ((my interests in obscure and ‘buttrock’ bands/music in general, anime, weird games, my love for peculiar art, my badass friends..))

said absolute dumb shit if I got closer to some more than them. ((making me waste sooo much god damn time. say you’re busy all the time even though you live a "boring fucking same day to day lifestyle." tell them how you can’t message all the time when in fact you can and that you’re constantly on the only device that gets you connected to the world outside. tell them.)) makin me lie and be distant about how I felt with some of my amazing friends..

It was never about how I truly felt, but how they felt for me. (("Ohh they made you feel like that?? Well, it made me feel like this and you should too because //insert dumb explanation here//.", "You shouldn’t feel like that towards them, they don’t deserve it.", "Maybe I deserve to be treated like that instead, screw them.", "Don’t feel like that towards them or //issue//, thats absolutely appalling, childish, flat out sappy.", "Don’t let them know how you’re really feeling.. just act like you don’t care at all. They don’t care to help you anyway or else you’d be living a better life.", "They’ll just spread it around so just stay quiet instead until spoken too about it."))

E N D ME !!!  

Pls, I beg of you.. not really but the thoughts though, please

———

———

he would tell me to not bug him when hes on a game, but he could to me. even on social media, which is how we stayed connected and not by messenger pigeons like it’s the 1500’s.

"Don’t bug me on FB when I’m not on." Okay, but I wanna share this with you...?? also, how the hell am I gonna know when you’re on when I’m drawing and trying to occupy my on edge brain??

proceeds to spam me shit in process irritating me. "Don’t bug me, don’t bug me" I hear like a whiny little baby.

"Why do you bug me all the time??" UMM, MAYBE BECAUSE I CARE AND I WANT TO UHHH, IDK SHARE THIS NEAT SHIT WITH YOU??? PENDEJO PUTA DE MIERDA!!

"I’ll message you and send invites when I feel like it." - Shithead towards the end. Circa 1818. ((Yeah, weeks or a month later like nothing happened. "I’ll see you later or tonight when I see you on, get back on, when I’m done eating" just, excuse after excuse..))

((IM ALWAYS FUCKIN ONLINE 24 GAT DAMN 7.  YOU KNOW THIS, SHITHEAD. I ALWAYS WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR SOMEONE IN THE DAMN GROUP. DNT FUCK WIT ME, MY TIME, OR PATIENCE LIKE THAT ANYMORE. ENOUGH. S T O P. And it did.. thank g o d))

———

———

would literally make me wait around and feel like a complete and utter fool when instead he could’ve messaged and been like maybe tomorrow or something, but no.. nothing. made me believe in all sorts of dumb shit. ((Sad I did, but I was pretty gullible. still am. some stuff was just, a big nope though and obvious. I wouldn’t let him get to me that much, but he did in some ways.. disgusting ..))

I was made to feel like I was cared for when in fact I never was to begin with. explains a lot tbh. I felt like a disgusting half empty shell of a person with barely any fragments of a heart and soul left inside. that’s very dark, I know, but that’s how it feels in a way

"It’s not real, this depression you’re feeling, it’s just a phase. it’ll pass/ just suck it up and move on / don’t worry about it you’re fine, you’re just overreacting or overthinking about it / think positive more and be happy nothing bad has really happened to you yet/ I remember when you didn’t act like this."

HOW AND WHAT?!? EXCUSE ME, PEASANT!? SAY THAT AGAIN.. TO MY ACTUAL FACE. I DARE YOU N’ YEAH, I DO TO CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.

———

———

I love how people ((friends and some mutuals)) thought I actually wanted to be, be with him, romantically and all that, that is but I just couldn’t..it was never there. I felt it for others though or someone to be exact, during those times which is how I knew I was in a toxic situation and it wasn’t real love or love in general I felt for them. just a facade

I just couldn’t let people know how badly he was treating me so I was sucked into a woven web of lies that got out of hand and ruined some pretty good moments for me completely it seemed

I never once wanted to fuck him or anything of the sort.

at first, we were kinda flirty and sweet with one another. talkin about cuddlin n’ goin on silly dates when we meet ya know. cute and fluffy things. things I got shit for down the road keep in mind. we’d give each other cute lil compliments to one another. It was just, cute and fun stuff ya know. especially since we were young as well.

there was never anything sexual between us either or too sexual, just crushy feels. ((I’m really fucking glad because mm, mmm. hard fucking pass))

he’d never and i mean never get my moist meter high, EVER. drier than this damn valley I live with scattered tumbleweeds, I tell you. not even a lil tingle. no bells ringing.fireworks flinging. I thought about it too and I’d just get disgusted tbh. thats how I knew

I felt like he’d be the worst in the end anyway and he was in general. he wasn’t even comfortable with himself or his sexuality and others things.. sooo, noooo, NOPE. thank u, next!!

I’m completely comfortable with mine.. thanks to my friends and some a bit more. I’m a bit scared to admit though that I’m demi bc of manipulation, but it is.

Happens unfortunately and I know I’m not alone on this journey of self acceptance. I wouldn’t have mind talking about it though, in a calm civil manner like adults do instead of giggling and making weird noises like an idiotic child.

Having it being brought up randomly amongst mutuals and all that got extremely awkward too as well, I hated it. "You wanna fuck him?", "You ever thought about it you two since y’all so close?" crickets and a few mumbled noises.. HA.mmm, I cared about him or what was left of him, not like that. honey flower ain’t or never will be feelin it for him.. EVER. HE EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED ME AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW SEX THAT MUCH OR MYSELF LIKE THAT SO FUCK HIM. uwu

She’s kinda quiet and scared tbh because he’s such a total killjoy asshole. she senses fear. she knows who really gets her bud blooming. just, the thought of him though like that made me wanna scream and kick him in this stupid ass face.

Ruined a lot of things for me, I swear but I’m moving on as best as I can.

—

He had this switch flip type of mood. I don’t even remember how or why it happened, but it just got worse during and after his breakup it seems.

Which was like 3-4 years ago. started happening out of the blue and over time it just started to bug the living fuck out of me. daily. I was starting to hate it and hate it I did. made my skin crawl.. ((all the Linkin Park jokes))

It made me hate myself which I never did much tbh and I didn’t like that at all.. I wanted out, but I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know who to talk to bc he’d come after me if I did especially if they knew him..

they didn’t though and were on my side, but yeah. I’m glad it stopped

A L L OF IT. I don’t need that kind ‘love’ in my life. that,awful presence. I don’t need any of that at all.. MMM, MMM BYE, BYE!! Disgusting.

———

———

I wanted to help em try to be happy so fuckin bad after what happened ya know as friends do, when it should’ve been myself making me happy instead.. it was,but everything just got to me.

All the sighs. How lovely huh. We were ‘best friends’ ya know. I can’t even really call anyone that much bc it unnerves me. you’re supposed to make each other happy and all that as best friends, not a sad sack of low shit.

I can’t believe I wanted to be with him and or be around him that is... eughh. I was confused and in a dangerous situation towards the end.. feels like it was my fault, but it wasn’t.

Couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It was extremely fucking stupid on my part

Long time or not, why? just, holding onto old times I guess

That’s where I messed up. I didn’t even really bother trying to be with him tbh as I’ve said. in the beginning maybe yeah when we were younger, but he made me feel less and less over time as we grew older. I was embarrassed about a lot of shit and slowly I just finally realized how much of an asshole he really and truly is and how bad I wanted him out my life.

I couldn’t get away and when I did, he’d still be there someway.. haunting me with his negative nagging.it was dumb I know. I just don’t know exactly how I got lost in it so damn badly, but man, am I really dumb for doing it..

I wholeheartedly despise those feelings I had then and I fucking despise them now. ALL OF THEM. THEY HAVE RUINED MY LIFE AND IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

((Great character development though, Cynth. Growing up and moving on. Something he could never do))

I don’t want to bring these problems into anyone else’s life and I did and I regret it.. I would like to disconnect from the server please bc of it, thank you

———

———

I was made to feel like my disability was cureable around him and that I can do shit when I get my operations done when in fact, I can’t at all and won’t ever get ‘cured’ or anything like that of the sort.typical ableist /lamdwalker activity. despite how many times I told him,he’d forget. Mhmm, sure.. you only heard what you wanted. It’s fine

"We’ll be able to do this when you get said //part// fixed.." what? can I not do that now or something?? I know I can’t, but I can at least try right?? am I really not that good enough to be around and do shit with?? guess so, cool. Okay, I see. I really tolerated some extreme ableism and I still do, but it’s not as bad as that was..

I wish I could cure my RA though like that and have said money to do it. Snap my fingers and it’s done right? ummm, no. not as easy you think dumb ass. I have fused joints, osteo, it’s everywhere like how the hell am I gonna fix that so easily?? tell me, doc

You trippin more than younger me did. I think that’s why he just flat out ditched me in the end and got a gf while he was at it that had an almost exact personality as me in the process. he would point it out too and made me feel fucking creeped out even more.. like, I get it. can’t be youre, abled dream

Why do you care if we’re alike in some ways though?? ((Look where it got him though. He’s still struggling with it, the breakup, bringing it up once n’ awhile like it didn’t happen. It was hilarious to me bc he really was a basket case. I know he was trying to get rid of it, but he was more obsessive about it than a mf))

thankful I don’t deal with it anymore

———

———

"You live the same day to day lifestyle. Ever since you and I graduated. The same fucking thing. The only new things you do are go to your stupid concerts or teach those weird kids. I see it or you end up telling me anyway." ((I know captain obvious yet again.. at least I’m having fun when I’m doing that. concerts for my favorite bands make me happy, teaching my kids do too ya asshole))

"Nothing is gonna change anyway if you get those procedures done. It’ll be worse for you and we all know that. Just deal with it and try to move on." ((I hate hearing your voice in my head. I want to ban it, mute it from all existence.. I’ve been replacing it with others and I’m glad it’s working))

———

———

I keep hearing his voice sometimes when I post something on social media. not his actual voice, but something similar, especially in tone. moody and monotone. art,status, any of those with hashtags, rt‘s, anything.. I heard it

"Why did you post that?? Looking for attention or something?", "Not many people liked it because it’s //insert stuff I love here//", "Don’t like shit like that. I don’t want to scroll around awkwardly when I’m out.", "I saw what you put. Idk how to approach it, but I’ll like it to show you I care/to look at later to process."

Tf does that mean and huh?? Why do you care what I put anyway?? I don’t care what you put so why should you care what I put?? Why make me feel like shit for putting this up or talking about something I have some balls too. I want people to know. I’m close to some of these people

I haven’t been posting much because of that. It’s very noticeable and my some of my friends can vouch for it from the viewing couch. renders I do of friends stuff, my original work, OC stuff, fan arts. A L L gets judged by the mighty grump. who it is, colors, the style, shading.. nothing was good enough I guess. even though you said it was and so did my brain at one point. It does, but she’s just not that confident much anymore

He’d get on fan art which was the most irritating thing. "Try and draw like that or do something like that for once.", "They didn’t get me right.. did you give them the references? Even though you still haven’t made a proper one?", "Why did they draw me like that?", "That’s cool. Why my character though?" PEOPLE DRAW IN THEIR OWN WAYS IN MANY STYLES AND CAN CREATIVELY DO WHATEVER THEYD LIKE YA FUCKIN DUMBASS. IN THE END, ITS MY CHARACTER ANYWAY. YOU DIDNT DRAW HIM. I DID N’ WHO CARES. MAYBE THEY LIKE YOUR CHARACTER OR IDK I REQUESTED IT TO MAKE YOUR SAD ASS HAPPY.

"Ohh yeah, I used to draw back in the day." The shit he sent me was traced, had his signature on it covering the original artists, no consistent style. Straight up thief and ugly liar. He can’t even draw a straight line, let alone paint a piece. Please, boy. I KNEW IT AND HED MANIPULATE ME INTO THINKING IT WAS AND I KNEW. AINT FOOLING ME THERE. I maybe or might’ve been extremely gullible as a teen, but ooohhh honeyyyy, I knew, I knew.

Artist my ass. Yeah con artist :))

———

———

I hated the awkward silence moments between us when we spoke. I literally wanted to fucking scream at you like you did to me sometimes when you were having a "bad day".

I wanted to yell at you about everything you’ve ever done to me the last time we talked and I just broke down instead because I am an "emotional bitch" as you say. HOLY SHIT though, are you boring. I thought I was, but I just get dissociative and I space out because I didn’t know what to say and when I did,I got judged for it. for everything else as wel which made me feel worse. fuucking fantastic you are

You made me feel like I was was swirling in this dead and extremely lonely silence that was ever so slowly drowning me and dragging me down.. ((Like BMTH says, don’t let me drown and you did to an extent)) i couldn’t breathe right for the longest time with you there.. felt like an enormous weight on my chest

when I was in there, it was awful and made me feel worse. I didn’t want to leave and when I did,you’d think I’d be having a fit or something.so, I would stay until you left and when you did it was absolute freedom.

I swear I hated being around you. I got judged for making any sort of weird noise, hiccup, burp, humming, my singing, jokes. such a fun person you are, hmph

[breathtonks]

HEADCANON / META TIME ! (Betrayal + Relationship with Sirius + Family Views Briefly)

This is kind of ranty, but it involves a lot of headcanons I have for Tonks and her point of view on situations. So like read if you want!

      Im about to fight this computer. It’s being so slow and the keypad keys are getting stuck and the sort. It’s getting annoying. I just want to gush about Tonks’ main concern as an Auror is one day being caught off guard and is used against somebody or is used to find info on somebody. Why? Because Tonks loves everybody she has the will to get to know. If she is asking you questions about yourself and involves you in her life, she loves you. She can’t stand the idea of being the person to betray someone. It’s probably why she is hesitant with the entire situation with Sirius. She didn’t know him but from what she heard, he did the very thing she refuses to do in a million years. I can see more clearly now why Tonks might not have the closest relationship with Sirius in the start. She loves giving people the benefit of the doubt but she can’t help but just be so WEARY around Sirius. If she ever met Peter Pettigrew (she probably did at some point), she would honestly be so offended and disgusted. I borderline don’t think Tonks would be able to handle herself in that situation well enough to hold herself back and just give Peter a good punch in the face. It’s ridiculous, I know, to think Tonks gets offended for people who are dead but it’s like Sirius pointed out. Tonks would rather die than betray his friends. Why? For Sirius, it might have been because they were the only truly family he had. To Tonks, they are the extended family she always wanted. 

So In my head how this is working out, Tonks is hesitant of Sirius because of past judgements made on him but I can see the two talking at some point, or Tonks overhears a conversation he is having with somebody about the whole ordeal and he is able to persuade Tonks to give him another chance. that this was not his doing. Of course, I have noted this before, I don’t believe Sirius and Tonks have a close relationship and I do believe that Tonks would still be hesitant a bit around Sirius but she would give him the benefit of the doubt, and see the wrongdoings of the justice system. As she is trying to get to know Sirius and trust him, he does die, and Tonks is destroyed about it. 

Why? Because Sirius was the only other family member in her family she could talk to about their family. The family she never knew. Not only that, but when he died, she was truly getting use to him and having him in her life. She was glad she was able to give him a second chance. She can know who the real Sirius Black is. But that didn’t last. He died and she couldn’t do anything about it. It felt so nice to her to have somebody from the family. Someone else besides her quieted mother and the rest of the family who had shunned her and didn’t keep in any contact to Nymphadora’s knowledge. It was nice to have Sirius around. Sure, she wasn’t his main focus and he had better things to talk about but the family that shunned him but to Tonks its the only connection to family she has. Blood family at least, which to Tonks is still something that is means they should love you no matter what they do or like or dislike. 

That’s the thing that messes her up a lot, the idea of family. Like, her friends can accept her for who she is. Why can’t her fucking family do the same? Just drop the whole pureblood pride and shit and just love each other? It really pisses her off sometimes, just that whole idea. She has come to terms with herself but it doesn’t mean she wants to somehow justify the behavior of her family. 

Of course, this gets way harder when BELLATRIX tries to KILL her. Like damn. Tonks just wants her family to stop being stupid and just love each other. Tonks feels like there is this deep pain in her entire family from the idea of being betrayed by another, particularly by Andromeda leaving to be with a muggle, and that to deal with this deep pain of betrayal, they try to blame something. ANYTHING! This is where muggles come in. They blame muggles, and then it just leads to so much hatred and even more pain. Tonks can see by her mother’s face that she is hurting when she thinks about her life before she was shunned. THE BLACK FAMILY TRULY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER BUT THEY LEFT THEIR JUDGEMENTS GET CLOUDED BY THIS DEEP BELIEF OF BETRAYAL. i know i ranted about this to @proditeur but like damn. more thought into it and i’m just dying and crying. 

ugh!