#im sick im ILL IM GOING TO THROW UP
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The rocks still in his feet... weighed down by remnants of a punishment he escaped, and she couldn't... permanently seeded where they ensure the wound never entirely closes... when Claudia said we leave the damage so we dont forget the damage... he's left the damage there but he has forgotten so much of it... Armand, altering and erasing memories, telling Louis he could remove the rocks at any time... but no... leave the damage so you dont forget the damage... ensuring he always remembers her, and what happened, by never letting the wound heal... by carrying the weight of it, of her, with him, every step
#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire spoilers#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#im sick im ILL IM GOING TO THROW UP#I HATE THESE WRITERS
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Random little art dump !!
I hate drawing Gundham actually…
Fun fact about me: I used to ship ishisouda . I love them
#danganronpa#danganronpa 2#danganronpa shitpost#danganronpa fanart#my art#art#sketch#doodle dump#kazuichi souda#kazuichi soda#gundham tanaka#hajime hinata#kiyotaka ishimaru#ishisouda#rarepair#danganronpa rarepair#that last doodle took me back to 2020#god they make me sick#im sick#im ill#im going to throw up
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chat i think im gonna be sick
(Powers of X #6)
#xmen#xmen comics#powers of x#charles xavier#snap scans#snap chats#moira stronger than me like ik why we here we're gonna die if not and so that is why she is stronger than me she is committing#i woulda kissed him in this moment too tho she and i are family on that front im afraid i do find him very cute#also. SIDE TANGENT. i loved the art before this of charles slowly processing the horrors of moiras mind ...#EXCELLENT art i must eat it at once#the most devious part of this is after i finished reading i went to go to my brother to talk about What I Read#and the second i pulled up like 'his sad eyes Brother im gonna be sick' he immediately quoted this page I HATE IT HERE#thats why they had to put that dome over charles' eyes so no one could look at his sad eyes anymore#this is in fact something i love and always love seeing but it still hurts i will not LIIIEEE#cant wait to read bout how this all goes horribly wrong ....#while my bro and i were talkin we were talkin bout other in-between stories an i wanna check those out at some point ...#maybe ill check my comic shop sometime in the future idk. for now im gonna throw up !!!!!!!!!!#i will simply spend tomorrow watching the rest of 92 im almost done with it. relatively speaking i will feel healed then probably#i got like two seasons left which is basically the same length as season 3 and then its onto 97#thats just one season for now so ... should finish that quick ..#ok bye i have Being Sick to be
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shout out to this bc oh my god i'm gonna be sick
#HOW COULD I FORGET THIS#IM GONNA BE SICK#ILL#IM GONNA THROW UP#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH OH YM GOD#THEYRE SO AWKWARD <33333#jrwi navyseal#sunshine / moonrays#anyways ^_^#for anyone wondering what this is - i'm documenting every navyseal moment. in the entire campaign.#at the rate i'm fucking going (3 episodes a day) i'll be done in a month. head in hands#navyseal collection chronicles
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#★ arin rambles#‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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My english lyrics for Triage woo! (They're written out under the cut, I just wanted to share my lil chart lol)
Though I'm too indecisive to officially label this as my favorite song, it's had the strongest emotional impact on me by far. It holds a special place in my heart, I definitely wanted to write lyrics for it first! I'll leave all my rambling process commentary in the tags, but I was so happy with how it came out!!
All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,
This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.
If that were the case, it should have been fate for me to die.
That's the truth, given my crime, so why--?
No, I can't take it, to this cruel joke I'll submit. You
don't know, you can't know, but I'm ready to admit:
Killing for them, extracting for them, won't change the fact they're dead.
I need someone to tag me as RED.
It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)
Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?
I see, the world is cruel and leaves you on your own.
(I can't die) to atone. (I can't love) alone.
I can't be saved (saved), you've nothing to give. Saved (saved)
But what if I lived? Why else would you choose to forgive?
I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.
Right now, you need me, (I can be) indispensable.
Tilt to and fro, I know the scales should land on GUILTY for me.
Tilt fro and to, it's INNOCENT that they choose.
They cry (x4) out in pain, I can hear them. There's no one else, to guard their health,
My mission is offering help.
All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,
This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.
So if that's the case, then it must be fate to make amends,
Extract that fang before we meet the end.
It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)
Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?
I see, the world is cruel, but what I've realized is
(Now I want) to be INNOCENT. (Now I want) to live.
It makes me sick (sick), This wasn't my plan, hostages at my command.
Their future resting in my hands
I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.
Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.
Maybe this was meant to be -- oh -- or maybe neither of us can know
There's lives to save so let's be sensible.
Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.
---
I mentioned earlier that I always get annoyed with myself when people post translyrics and I can't figure out the rhythm they were going for, so here's a recording of me singing, but I'm bad at it! It's just for fun! Like a rough draft for music! Because the only thing worse than people hearing my voice is people thinking I can't count syllables!
#milgram#shidou kirisaki#lyrics#im real happy with how they came out :))#when i first got into milgram i started writing tear drop lyrics but got discouraged#(ill be revisiting them next but) it was so fun to work with this song!#i love the sound of it and had a great time creating my version#i wanted his repeated lines in the refrain to have a punch to them#and was SO satisfied giving the doctor 'sick' and 'saved' as his focus words#the mention of 'throw down' wasnt originally intended but it fit so well i just had to keep it asdfsd#i looked up an internet translation for 'Shinenai sentaku o ikenai ai o' because the official english line confused me#and it gave me 'i cant die. i cant go. i cant love.' and i loved that more than the official translation actually#really the only word that doesnt flow quite like id want is 'punishment' but the meaning/rhyme made me happy so i kept it haha#nothing can replace the sound satisfaction 'Yurayura tenbin yurusa naide hoshii noni/Yureteru yurushite hoshii to' gives me tho -_-#and i wanted a more open-mouth sound when he sings 'dattaka' the second time -- i absolutely love how he draws it out#but had to settle for what i could make work 🤷♀️#we are spitting in the face of cringe culture and posting my voice!!#some writers are okay if their complete vision doesnt make it across to the audience but Not Me#i gotta show my whole vision and draft 😂#oh and excuse his voicemail message LMAO#i love shidou with all my heart but i have to tease him about shoving his profession in our face every chance he gets#(did we ever get a translation for that btw?)#but yeah im always preaching to do arts and things youre bad at just because theyre fun so i figured id take my own advice#because it was a lot of fun to sing :3#and i dont know how to word this in the fans-having-collaborative-fun way and not a pretentious way#but if any of the milgram pals who like singing want to cover it hmu :D
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my stomach was hurting so bad and I was feeling nauseous so my coworkers told me to go home but why do I feel guilty abt it 🫠
#like . i kept waking up last night feeling like i was going to throw up but i never actually did so i was like ok ill go to work#but i was miserable so i left halfway thru the day but i never threw up or ran a fever or anything my stomach just really hurts#but i feel like that's not enough to not be at work 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#its pointless now bc the work day is over anyway but yh im at home feeling guilty for not being Sick Enough#and i hate it :)#stomach still really hurts and i have no idea why nothings happening just pain 😮💨😮💨
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oooooo im mentally illl
#orange is typing...#im gonna throw up im sick of these two (will continue drawing them and my bullshit until the sun explodes)#dont rb its a wippp i wanna be done w the doodle page 2day#they are . opposite ends of the pale spectrum . romero doesnt know what the sun is and juzo is a bit greyish in tone in my hc#. i use this to my advantage you see. they both blush very easily tee hee. esp romero that bitch is translucent#anyways ill shut up and go back 2 my holw now. goodbye
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opening tumblr to complain abt being sick and then immediately closing it
#not doing good (stomach virus)#im better now than i was earlier though#tw emetophobia#especially after throwing up whatever made me sick#really hate having to go through that but if i must then i must#i think ill be okay for dinner later. rn im in slug form (lazing around wrapped in a blanket#love when i was a kid and there were a couple times when my dad was like 'youre making yourself sick' like why would i do that#dad is also sick i think it must have been something we ate yesterday. betrayed by beloved shrimp#please let me know if i should tag anything else i know this isnt fun to hear about
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明天
By: J
Just some sort shitty Noriko angst ig!
Cws: None(?)
[this is supposed to be in a 3-5 part series but i have no idea if i’ll actually end up doing it, so for now posting it standalone, will update if this changes]
——
Click click click click click click
the clocks go same as everyday.
two clocks that would never align no matter what.
quite an annoying sound.
the slow quiet dripping of water could be heard in the background.
drip. drip. drip. drip.
it had been quiet for the past few days.
too quiet.
everything felt so cold in spite it being spring.
her body felt too heavy to move out of bed.
the world just felt so..empty.
would it be called on variable that caused this? or multiple?
it felt pointless to wonder, she already knew what they felt and thought.
staring at the darkened ceiling, imagining it was a night sky full of stars above.
blanket being blades of grass that no matter how you laid, somehow always managing to caress the skin so annoyingly.
“Do you think that if a star went missing, anyone would notice?”
Words ringed through her mind.
“Well yeah, someone would have to right?”
“Would they though?”
She grabbed her pillow
“I mean, at least other stars would right? Besides what kinda question is that anyways?!”
That smile..
“Haa i guess youre right, but y’know’, with how far apart stars really are from each other, even if they seem so close together from here…”
“….”
Tears fell down her face, onto her lips. In a way, it felt like she was drowning.
No one was coming to save her.
No one.
.
She raised her hand to the ceiling, fingers spread as if she was trying to clutch the sky.
“If you were a constellation…i think you’d be cassiopeia”
“Huh?”
“Cassiopeia. See over there”
“Why that though? Couldnt youve picked a more notable one like i dunno… canis major? or was it minor?”
“Hahaa its probably canis major youre thinking of. and honestly? I dunno why..it just reminds me of you….i like it.”
“Hmm well then.. lets see… youd beeee……. orions belt!”
“Just his belt??”
“Yep! Bland but easily recognizable!”
“I dont know if thats a good or bad thing”
“Hey! i wasnt finished! Plus even with how minor it seems, you keep things up and running”
“Are you saying that Revolutionary Armys pants would fall down without me or something…?”
“Exactly!”
“…..Maybe, but i dont think it would honestly. I think you’d all do well even without me”
Its more than that.
Its so much more than that.
Her breath hitched as there was a knock on the door.
Then the door creaking, light flooding the all too messy room.
“Still dont want to talk?”
She looked at the backlit silhouette.
“…”
“At least drink. Please? I know it- its hard but he woul-“
“Shut up.”
“What?”
“I said, Shut. Up. you dont know what he wouldve wanted.”
“Noriko I-“
“Dont call me that.”
As heavy as her body felt, as cold as it all felt.
A door could be heard slamming.
.
Click click click
Recently, one of the clocks seem to have broken.
#j writes badly#no beta we die like jirou#actually i did have it beta read but it was by my mother and she sucks at beta reading harder than. um. tungsten. yeah. that.#clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick noriko has played yttd fight me#i got my phone fixed but in my defense; i wrote this before it got fixed#IM STICKING TO THE LOPTSON. I SWEAR. JUST GIVE ME SEVERAL WEEKS OF CRYING THEN ILL DO IT.#acutane is evil bc i took it with 2.5 less grams of fat than usual and felt so goddamn sick i had to sleep or throw up.#(i have many words for this that i refuse to post here!)#the urge to explain things in detail but also to not bc its supposed to be up to interpretation currently#augfahgdhahd iwannadieandidkwhattodoaboutit!#anyways. stopping here bc gotta go to the store
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Apologizing right the fuck now for the person rusty_courage's new animatic is making me become
#shouting speaks#grian#watcher grian#boatem#hermitcraft#im ill im sick im twisted in the brain#ITS SUCH BEAUTIFUL ANIMATION????? ITS SO SMOOTH......#IM??????#RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH#i keep replaying the moment they all get transported to the purple landscape/void#smth abt impulse's blinking in shock keeps Getting Me#and the way Scar goes from cheerfully concentrating to looking up warily is INSANE TO ME#RRRRRRRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARK#ANDD THE FLYING SCENE..... THROWING MYSELF INTO THE SUN!!!!! OH MY GODS!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA#I Am Not Immune To Cool Fight Scene#going to replay this a million timess now everybody needs to watch this#ohhh the urge to write smth for this..... aughjj if i wasnt in the middle of hunger au chap 6 i would go full silly#txt
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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marshall maximizer is a series song right. i think thats the only one ive listened to (yet), un:c did a good cover of it ...... what are ur thoughts on it whats it about . kicking my legs in the air
YES YES MARSHALL MAXIMIZER IS A SERIES SONG. theres so much going on in it u have no idea yes the song fucks verily but holy shit is it so important to the story.
okay so i think i need to give like. a quick reminder of the story here right. so u have "a certain world" & basically these people onset the destruction of said world such that it basically crumbles to pieces & then disappears. tragic. okay. but theres a catch. they get more than one chance to try. when one iteration of the world ends instead of really dying they kind of just. wake up in a new version. the world's still going to end in the day, but they get another chance to try and save it. the only real thing about it is any given person still has to have sight of their own goals or they aren't allowed to wake up next time & they disappear as well. this is, in the original song and afterwords referred as as being a "person" and having "one's self" or not having your self & being a "thing".
marshall maximizer is the explanation of this phenomenon (the later song laboratory being the demonstration of this concept btw to build off what this song says) among other things.
ill get to the lyrics in a second but the thing that always gets me about this song is the text in the middle of the video that's a conversation between two people. idk how to even go about this i just want to quote the whole thing at u. the beginning of its the narrator (perhaps not the same one as the lyrics but i cant prove or disprove this) trying to figure out the whole thing and the person working with them- referred to as "doctor"- basically says choosing who u are is an impossibility and if u cant prove ur alive of ur own volition then u arent even truly "alive" & won't have a place in heaven or hell. the narrator then asks the doctor to prove if he's alive for himself to which he doesnt answer and the narrator goes "Doctor, you have the appearance of a human. But, what of the possibility you're a 'thing' someone created?" to which the doctor answers "and if im not a 'person'?" and the narrator continues "Just as an example. Doctor, you said 'I chose this job in order to go to heaven.' And the reason you stay here is because 'if i can go to heaven, then it's fine to die,' right?" after this the doctor still cant give a solid answer and when the narrator looks for him again, he's disappeared entirely. which is nearly one to one with what the girls in the songs are going through. the doctor wasnt really doing it for himself he was doing it simply to achieve an end, with no real strong desire or goal along the way, which essentially turns him into a mere tool or 'thing' to achieve that end. much like the girls in the songs; they have to have something in it for themselves or they're a mere "thing" to be used, and at that point they'll disappear entirely.
theres also flashing text of 2 kanji words at the end that are a lot less profound but do give some insight on the series. the terms are broken up a series of three question marks & im willing to bet its describing the timelines in the story. the first 5 words regarding observing the failures of the past, the next 11 dealing more with what sounds like the more modern songs & all the confusion & rash decisions bringing them to their end, and then the last 15 words possibly being from the sort of future or at the very least whatever point in time the first song takes place in as it seems to lineup the most with shoushitsu itself. but its not like its as important to this song's understanding as the mini novel in the middle is.
so whats up with the lyrics then. as u can guess its not as fun as the song sounds. theres a lot of mentions of experiments in this song & ive seen people say its like the demon core thing irl, but i need u to understand the while series been talking about science experiments the whole time. like. all of aru sekai shoushitsu is talking about it, kyuuyaku is talking about it, shuuen touhikou is to some extent talking about it, oumen is, apoptosis is, etc etc this is just par for the course okay, but it does show maximizer in particular does have direct influence on experiments being performed or at least attempted. she is pretty casual about how she talks about it btw the character in this song gives me a very easy going type of vibe with how she talks which is probably why the song itself is the way it is and not like something that fills u with dread the entire time. though i would argue parts of the instrumental do sound like theres a bit of weight in them and its not ALL party time vibes.
one thing i do want to point out in regards to both the lyrics and the people vs thing topic, are the lines "ki ga kuruu HITO no furi wo shiteiru KIMI wo miteiru" (observing You pretending to be a Person gone mad) and "ki ga kuruu HITO no mane wo shiteiru KIMI e" (to You who's imitating a person gone mad) where both the words for person and you are in katakana drawing emphasis to it as well as mirroring how the "people' vs "thing" is written in both the background texts & previous songs. which is to say the narrator here is very aware of this other person not actually being a person. the implications here that since its "pretending to be a person" the "you" is a…. perhaps less direct way of calling out that its a "thing" or in completely transparent terms, is a person not acting on their own will and doomed to disappear. similar to this is the most recognizable lyrics in this song the "tabete sugu nete ushi ni naru/ okite mata nete hito de nashi?"(eating, falling right asleep, becoming a cow/ waking up, sleeping again, is that so inhuman?) is also calling on that "person" aspect, although not as strongly as hito uses the kanji this time rather than katakana. in any case she's still making the claim that despite all the horrors going on she's still acting as she pleases so she should still count as a person……right?(spoilers she does)(this isnt really spoilers because its told to u by the fact the nami no ne no motif is in the song) but it DOES show she's a little worried about it. not enough to full out panic but she sees other people no longer counting as people it makes sense she's going to worry about herself.
likewise the lines in the chorus "nante koto da! shindeshimau!"(what the hell is this! we'll die!" is much more likely referring to the fact if they arent "people" they disappear and are REALLY dead & is kind of worrying over that. like the line later what the hell is this! we'll live! is not really rejoicing at a percieved break in the case so much as realizing she DOES have her own goals in it and she's not about to disappear just yet.
and then of course i cannot overlook that this is also Sunk Cost Fallacy:The Song. the whole "sunk coster, sunk costess! 'i want to return to the isotope we had at the end!' 'we're falling to the worst of hell! falling!' but a dazzling unbalance diverged farway!" like on top of all of this she's still going to run the experiments that are risking her literal self to whatever extent that she invests herself in them. she cant give up yet. they've put so much into trying to correct this disaster, lost so many people, endured so much trauma, even when continuing is a sin, there's no other option but to continue at this point. even when they know it's pointless, even when they can see (to take imagery from kanon) the scales have been upset & the outcome will never be good, theres no other option.
theres a bit more to it but that requires getting sources from other songs & its not overly huge details its probably fine to leave them out for now this is long enough as is. one thing i do want to mention is its one of the side songs(songs that are not directly linked to aru sekai shoushitsu itself/not one of the kanji songs that links to certain lyrics in it) that has alliteration in the title (ma ma) as a way of keeping with the "repeating fractals" theme in the series. which to me implies this situation is not particularly unique to this character as some other songs are (oumen especially, touhikou, ashura, etc)(apoptosis i have an argument to make about but thats another topic entirely) and while maybe not 1:1 it can also be applied to other chara's experiences, or maybe implies its happened at other parts of the timeline as well. which makes sense since its common knowledge among the charas that some people are not "people" anymore so yeah i can imagine them keeping watch on coworkers they think are losing or have lost their selves. that doesnt make maximizer a general song though this is still VERY MUCH a subjective song from a particular chara's perspective & leaves things out & emphasizes others accordingly.
anyway my opinion on this song is that its VERY good and VERY important to get a good look at the story. the instrumental behind the tabete sugu nete ushi ni naru parts scratches my brain & the inclusion of the series "this chara lives" motif drives me insane.10000/10 everyone should like this song.
#asks#rottel#aru sekai series#the text in this song makes me sick like this concept is so uniquely terrifying to me im not joking.#laboratory still fucks me up if i think about it bc its THIS but a demonstration of it from the other side#like maximizer is kind of about keeping ones self#but labo is about having passed into 'thing' territory & the fear & panic & futility of knowing ur going to disappear forever#and of course that means nothing they did had any real meaning so essentially just throwing their lives and selves away for nothing.#makes me ill#anyway i love this song with my whole life & it deserves its popularity
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did you guys know that. domi and louis
#wailing.jpeg I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE#ela and ness do not i repeat DO NOT look at my next few tags#i need to wail about parts you have not reached#go away/aff. for real. frfr. okay gone? okay#WHEN DOMI CUT HER HAIR AFTER LOUIS DIED BC SHE THOUGHT THAT WOULD HELP NOÉ#BUT ALL IT DID WAS MAKE HER A HOLLOW SHELL#AND SHE COULDNT EVEN LOOK AT HERSELF#and the way she. the way she presents herself so sassy and confident#but she just buried down memories of louis’ death and also her trying and failing to be someone shes not#and the way she had to confront that and how louis haunts her all the time#OH IM SO FUCKING SICK!!!!!#dont even get me started on louis ill start throwing up#him carving an entire chest of stakes and NOÉ AND DOMI FINDING IT. the way my heart actually dropped#anyway im normal about the vnc siblings. dont ask me about vanitas and mikhail. ill cry even harder#okay thats all bye i miss vnc#vnc
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#day 1 at the resort#been in bed sick all day :(#ive been throwing up all night and morning#i cant even drink water#im finally trying some gravol and worst case scenario it comes back up#sorry tmi gross but i traveled to an island to get sick and its literally my worst nightmare#rambles#i just wanna go swimming 😭#yeah i drank last night and got accidently super drunk#but ive never felt this sick with a hangover in my LIFE#when im feeling bettee ill post a pretty beach pic
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actually fuck this job forever 👍
#i got so fucking stressed yesterday that i caused a fucking flare up and now i cant stop throwing up#i called off and . idk. i have to go in to the office today to get paperwork.#im gonna very firmly talk to them about changing my schedule#i hate to do that after literally only one day#but i have several excuses prepared#and hopefully i can just get my scedule changed.#i think . worst case. well worse case they just go damn you suck . leave. and then im just Fucked again for money#cause i never even got enough to pay my shit this monthso i had to borrow some money from my parents#but maybe i can just. drop my first shift. which will leave me with only 10 hours a week#but if they really only have morning shifts erm. this may not work out#i havent gotten morning sickness in a long time but its a known symptom of one of my chronic illnesses#plus the stress obviously bc my first client is very disabled and needs more accomodation than i can provide bc im also disabled#idk guys. its only been one day but this For Real isnt working out how it is rn.#i was reading back over my employee handbook tho and it says employees can quit any time#in the first 60 days wirhout penalty so im hoping that means i can also change shifts without penalty...
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