#im sick af irl

[grunge-sol]

To my princess

Once again I woke up next to my princess.

My princess is the reason why another day comes. For those beautiful brown eyes light up the world I live in.

Once again I started asking myself if I was still in a dream.

You are too perfect to be real, my dear.

What have I done do deserve the blessing that is your very own existence?

I still have no answer.

My princess deserves the world.

My princess is my world.

Mine and only mine.

And I belong to my princess.

Love chained me, but these chains set me free. Because just by looking at you, my eyes are free to roam the night skies.

I adore you, my princess.

Let my soul be your home, and let my body be your sanctuary, forever.

You have spent your entire life suffering. So now that you are mine and only mine, dry your tears. For your sweet smile is the reason I live.

You are my princess. You needn't worry anymore.

You know that I will only look at you until my last breath.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

youve been kinda wuiet lately, what are you cooking >_>

Damn i cant take a break from this place lol

[piillow]

xdinary heroes as your younger sibling

(7-8 year age gap)

wc : ??? | genre : short imagines, silly stuff really | a/n : NO i did NOT take things me and my very much older sibling do irl and assigned them to xdh members NOOOO...

(∩^o^)⊃━☆

GUNIL 건일

he'll pretend to not care about you when you're both at home

but will praise you like his life depended on it if he was talking to his friends or at school

SO SWEETTTT i could cry

gives you silly gifts for your birthday so he can see you smile :')

especially if you've been out of it for a while

moving out for college.......

he's definitely gonna shed a few tears on the car ride home

i can picture it tbh

LOVES when you play videogames with him too

and if he sleeps in your room overnight he'll call them "sleepovers" LMAOO

he'd be so cute omfg

JUNGSU 정수

will cling to you 24/7. oh my goodness he's like the most adorable leech you've ever seen

at home? probably sitting next to you. in public? holding your hand and swinging your arms.

so cute tho like cmon 😭

he would also defo ask you to help him with his homework

"you're gonna teach it to me better :(" WHAT IF I CRIED

omg GRADUATIONS?

he's gonna scream his whole lungs out when your name is called, and will not gaf if anyone stares at him

AND WILL SPRINT TO YOU WHEN YOU LEAVE THE CEREMONY (and cling to you while probably crying LMAO)

oh he'd also pretend to out you to your parents but... your parents aren't actually gonna yell at you

they're gonna pretend to, but they don't mean anything lol

GAON 가온

LMAOO he's gonna take one look at your [whatever highschool level subject] homework and say

"oh! let me help you!" in the CUTEST voice ever 😭

but then he'll actually look at it and say "ummm this is too hard... nevermind... sorry.. :(" queue my sobs

BUT he will beg you to help him with his homework LMAOO

... then you end up doing all of it for him (。_。)

anyways, you got a school event? sports game/competition? musical performance?

he'll be there! every single one.

and will also cheer for you the loudest :)

ohhh and also if your parents aren't home and it's almost your dinner time he will set the table and wait for you to come eat with him

what if i cry in a hole 😭

ODE 오드

the most adorable leech you've ever seen number two

also yaps about you to his friends a lot LMAOO

literally about almost anything you do

"omg guys guess what y/n got a 100 on their test!" "... okay?"

will lowkey (high key) get defensive if someone starts saying something barely negative about you

he can also not talk to you at home

like... he can't go a few hours without doing it

he'll talk to you about his day at school, practices, etc. and give you every little detail he remembers

and when he gets a phone, he'll spam you texts when he's free and hope you reply

but like... who wouldn't tho?

he also buys lots of things that remind him of you, and eventually a tattoo when he's older (like how he did with his family <3)

JUNHAN 준한

likes spending time with you a lot, even if you two aren't talking to each other

just working on your homework with him there is nice for the both of you

a very comforting silence :)

LMAO he also will sometimes hide from you when you come home so you have to play hide and seek with him

... and then you two will end up playing it outside for like two hours

omg NOOO if you get sick he will be so sad :(

"y/n... who will i play hide and seek with now?" OHHH MY GOD 😭

and if you're crying for whatever reason...

he'll feel his heart break a little too :(

(why did i end this one so sadly im so sorry??)

JOOYEON 주연

teasing MACHINE 9000 oh my god

will tease you for everything you do

you dropped your hairbrush?

"HAHAHAAA y/n remember that one time you dropped your hairbrush"

yeah... that.

he'll also bang on the bathroom door if you take too long

"Y/NNNN HURRY UPPP I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH" 😭

spam texter number two, except his goal is to piss you off

if you send him a dry af response he will know because he'll hear your attitude through the screen

but if he's out with friends he'll send you random pictures of things that remind him of you

(and he'll keep them in a folder in his camera roll <3)

send requests........ please....... rules are here!

[unknownteapot]

This ask might be kind of long heads up in advance!

For starters, Hi! I hope you're doing good! And happy late birthday btw + happy pride month 🗣

I've read 'a future with us' like 3 times now and I dont think I can get sick of it omg. The references to you're other fics/on camera Amangela moments are just too good and when I saw you upload i was practically bouncing off the walls, and I was not disappointed one bit.

ALSO THE SEALS UGH OMG

I feel like there's nothing better than the 'do you think we're together in every universe' thing, especially with Amangela. I think it's the whole irl platonic soulmates thing they got going on that makes the rpfs 10× better.

The way you write them though especially just makes me so damn happy when I read your stories 🫶 Definitely gonna need to go in a reread binge of your fics here soon :)

Anyways, done with my fan girling ramble, thank you for your time lmao and for the fics!

hiii <3

i will not lie, this made me tear up.

just the fact that you took time out of your day to type this out and like. just sometimes im in disbelief things i write actually like resonate with people? or are interesting? i dont know. it's so hard to comprehend but also i'm so glad i'm here in this fandom where we all share this love for talented women who are honestly feeding us like crazy recently. thank you so so much for reading and for sending in this ask!!!

and about the 'in every universe' part- you're so so right, it's so amangela, i think that's why i love writing it so much. like that one moment where angela turns to amanda with "a soulmate can be a friend" and they just immediately hug is so pure and fuels me with undying inspiration to write those two. (in addition to all the other crazy shit they pull. like amanda reposting the tincoffee artwork to her story with 'it begins' like it begins??? honey it began with 'we could kiss and go missing'. it began with you wanting more amangela edits. it began with sword af. it's been happening. it never ends. and i hope it stays that way 😌😌)

anyway, thanks for reading my fics and being an awesome moot <3 have a great day!!! HAPPY PRIDE Y'ALL 🌈🌈

[einsatzzz]

long-ish vent/rant bc xmas holidays truly is THAT season huh !!!

i would rant about this on my bird app acct, but the character limit for each tweet there might just piss me off so i'll just rant here uninterrupted.

i have not been doing so good health wise the past few weeks, but it got even worse this weekend ueueueueue besides my body pain + sore muscles from touching grass two days in a row (my leg muscles hurt sm fr fr 😭😭😭) plus my bank acct getting drained, i felt an impending fever last night so i took some meds and slept early. woke up after four hours feeling very nauseous. i alr ran out of nausea meds, so i tried to distract myself and forced myself to fall alseep.

woke up after another four hours, im still nauseous but this time with stomach pain from the high acidity and diarrhea????!!!! how???!!! i had antimotility meds and antacids, so i took some. the problem is i rlly need to eat and drink, on the other hand, im nauseous. my brother cooked me some food, but only managed to eat one(1) ebi fry and two tablespoons of rice dsfhvhsjdfs i did get a sip of gatorade b4 i passed out again from pain sfhsfhsd i deadass thought i was gonna die bc i felt my limbs slowly go cold god damn....i think i slept longer right after, around six hours??? i really felt the dehydration in my bones when i woke up. i still feel bad, but not enough to not eat a little bit more.

tho me thinking that im dying at that time is prob bc of the anxiety mixed in, but last night b4 i got home i actually legit thought i'm gonna die. if my chances of dying daily is at 0.6%, i feel like yesterday the probability skyrocketed to at least 60-75%. won't go to too much in detail bc its a very heated serious family drama but the catch is that we're in a moving vehicle 😃😃😃 i even considered messaging some of my friends smth like "if i don't post anything new in one month, please assume i actually legit died /srs" or had "i shouldve gotten life insurance"/"this is such a stupid way to die i shouldve just kms yesterday" thoughts hahaha it was that bad.

next year i really need to learn how to drive even if i have motion sickness. then b4 i reach 30, i need to somehow live alone peacefully at my own place. i feel like my mental health would improve significantly if i could do that. (i typed a lot after this but i deleted it 😅 i just remembered i said i won't go too much into family stuff jfbhjdbghdb)

overall its very upsetting/frustrating that bad things keeps on being thrown at me irl, esp since i simply just wanna focus being in my own little corner, work on my projects/wips and admire other's works. as one of my fave streamers would say, we will still ball!!! but like...damn, this shit hurt af 😭😭😭 my project plans have been bamboozled once again bc of this, but we're still on! i need to lock in when i feel well enough.

[xmurder-of-crowsx]

Vent rn while I'm unable to sleep from sickness

W digital art I feel like I could do so much more and feel way more confident in my art skills. But like. Affording the software is..hard..for a person who's not already rich...heck..I can't even afford to get a upgraded phone. This phone is running on fumes at this point lol...money issues are hard...and it's harder to make money to fix them in the first place. The system truly is broke. Just saying. Especially w mental issues up the wazoo like I got going on. To the point working like in public is hard a huge struggle. Which is why I have not worked in months. There's a huge issue w the system rn. And soc security is given to those who don't even need it and denied to those who do. It's so dumb tbh. Living is so hard. Money is so hard. Everything is so hard. Ugh. Life's not very simple. And unless your gifted w money , people skills, or talent. Your just going to stay at rock bottom forever like me. It's sucks man. Adulting sucks. Everything sucks. I wish things were easier. I can't even drive because of my crippling anxiety yet the gov says I'm apparently not disabled enough which my old neighbors had parties every day and were living the dream on soc security I feel they could've went without. Yah. It's hard. I just want to live but even that's a struggle in this world. Getting my meds is hard even. I'm barely hanging in there w my bipolar shit and Sui thoughts from depression and constant anxiety. And the gov won't let me get my meds because I'm still searching for a psychologist who takes my shit insurance they could provide me. It's..not good ..I'm losing it here...and my stomach issues which I need meds for too..and my thyroid issues which I can't easily get meds for either. This all sucks. I just. ..I am not sleeping well lately either. This isn't good . Why is my autism not severe enough why is my mental state which is falling apart not disabled enough why. I'm even more upset I can't afford schooling to get my voice acting classes so I can do shit w my life already. I'm 27 come on. And I can't get to any theater groups to launch my career cuz none take adults in my area. You gotta do it at a young age and i was stupid in hs and didn't...ugh...if I had anyone who could help me even a friend. But I dont even got friends anymore since years ago when I broke up w a toxic one I had since middle school ...I need irl ones for sure one day tho..I'm so alone...and I'm passionate for theatre which...I can't even start into ..cuz of my age...again..life's stupid..and the place I'm stuck living in...my parents house....is hard to live in cuz my dad's bipolar af like me and we fight constantly. .and my mom just ignores me when I'm breaking down...and my bro....just ...acts like he's my boss or something... I'm surprised I've lasted this long tbh...w how toxic my house is....rn..we go to therapy...it'll be a slow process tho w how much we have to fix...and I'm like hanging by a thread here...my mom already told me a lot she notices how much im struggling mentally at times and tries to step away when I'm moody af from bipolar...it's hard to stay in control...and it's a miracle I havent...gave up...on myself and gave into the thoughts...I'm staying strong tho...let's hope I can continue til ..I figure shit out ig...

And before you say anything I've tried working on art from my tiny ass phone. It's not good I need to get a bigger device or something. A laptop even would do better. I can't rn tho..

[acceptingmyowncompany]

Because Who Can I Talk To...

This post has so much potential to be cringe a year from now. Shit even months from now. I need it out of my head though

A friend of mine joked about setting me up with her friend. We met but I didnt really make a move. Too shy. She's cute though. Nice, smart, witty. It became a bit that I thought was still funny despite nothing really coming of it.

We eventually followed each other on instagram, which is good but my friend isn't riffing the bit anymore. A mutual of ours is communicating with me more often than before. Energy is weird but I'm not trying to look into it. Come to find out she likes me and I can't help but feel like thats why my friend stopped riffing the bit and advocating for me/us.

Despite that, the girl and I are kind of... idk playing tennis. Maybe fishing?! Idk the proper analogy. We are posting things kind of trying to bait the other person into interacting with it. I shouldn't say we... EYE, 100% am and she did at least once. Eventually a real conversation starts between us and it's like... legit awesome. Like she's so cool, and we've been thru some similar shit and look at the world in a similar way. I make points and she responds basically finishing my thoughts. Im like wooow we have so much in common. It excites me in a way that I haven't been excited in a LONG time. I think I'm crushing on her now... I can't wait for her to come into town.

She comes into town and I get no sleep the night before. I'm running on fumes. I have no energy to talk to her, to be charming or funny. I'm just listening and yawning a lot. I got her cookies... didnt even present them forreal. She was here for a week and that was the only day I saw her. At this point I'm FUCKING SICK. It's another display of how my friend is no longer trying to help out because she didnt try to set me up with some hangouts. Doubts about her interest because if she was hoping to see me, again you'd think the friend would hit me about plans or invite me over. I dont take initiative. Don't want to be too thirsty. I hold my L and get kinda sad because I like the feeling. I like talking to her, but it's over...

Until... the day after she gets back home, she messages me randomly about One Piece. I'm hype af. She thanks me for cookies, I apologize for zombie. We're talking again. And talking a lot. We are in constant communication. We message everyday. It's not a constant flow but it's fairly steady. We go like this for like a month and some. She's my favorite notification. I look forward to her responses and suddenly they stop. Not all together. The frequency though. A few messages a day to one a day. Now the response coming a full day or two later. Which would be completely fine if like... I didnt see she's been active mad times or when I see her message elsewhere. I'm not mad, but it makes me think.

We aren't anything. She owes me nothing. I like talking to her. Do I like her? I don't have an answer. The level of bothered I am, would imply I do, but it could just be the engagement. The attention. The fact that she activates something in my brain that hasn't been safely activated in over a decade. I don't say this to minimize her impact. I genuinely think she's special. She told me some of her story and I just wanna protect her at all costs even though we're probably not that close. I think she's great but I also still don't know her. We have yet to find a comfortable real life flow. We have yet to establish any sort of chemistry. So it's like cool, yeah we can text and send paragraphs to each other, but can we hold a conversation. Can we go back and forth without prep time?! Until we can properly test those waters, on the phone or IRL then I can't fully say I like her. Just that I like messaging her.

The problem is... does she like me?! Does she like messaging me?! Did her life get busier?! Am I boring?! I don't know how she feels about it. I try to sneak in things in the convo to like indicate I think highly of her, but I get no read on that the other way around. My friend no longer asks about it, or riffs the bit. No convo about us. Its triggering. I was often left on unopened while my friend was texting the girl I liked right in front of me. Her excuse was "oh me and him aren't having deep convo so it's easy to message back. me and you are having more in-depth convo so it requires more thought out answers." The truth was, she was fucking him and they were both hiding it from me and thus TRAUMATIZED. She can do what she wants. She can have a guy in MD, or a guy in her DMs. Again, we aren't anything, but I'd hate to get my hopes up again, just to be being placed on the back burner while she's got other stuff going on. Shits embarrassing. It's easy to feel like a loser and shit.

And so I am at an impasse. I can't be emotional about this. I can't ask for more messages, but I do want more. I want to explore what we could be, even if it's just friends. Just so I can like know its just friends. I want to talk on the phone or play a game where we can use out voices to connect instead of seining one big message a day. How can I do that?! I want to let her know I think she's dope, and I have but she's just kinda been whatever about it. Maybe thats my answer I should probably take that as an answer. I'M JUST TIRED OF HAVING TO PLAY IT COOL. I want to talk about it with somebody that can help me. I wanna be excited about the potential. I wanna laugh with her and learn more about her. I want her to know I think she's cool and I wanna talk about the future together. I wanna do things to connect with her and show her I think she's cool. But then im overbearing. I'm thirsty. I'm doing too much. Scare her away. if she's got another dude she's talking to, im humiliating myself.

I basically wanna embrace that side of life. Intimacy and romance. Connection. I wanna show her my interest and feel her interest. The push and pull. It was cool when we were playing tennis. It was amazing to go back and forth. Idk what to do. I kinda wanna end the convo and she what'll happen. But what if I just hurt my own feelings. How do I pivot the convo we have right now?! I don't know. I've gone crazy and I hate it here lmao.

Anyways, this girls cool and pretty and I wanna get to known her better like talk more intimately and frequently but I don't know if I will or if she even cares to... but I just wish I could be blunt about this thought/feeling. Who know's what'll happen next.

[the5thcellar]

i cant be the only one who thinks m is like....deeply sick (im saying this affectionately) for doing things like.....

1) deliberately picking a dress and hairstyle similar to her wedding day to walk the red carpet / celebrate her anniversary with chris, i.e. someone who is not her husband

2) basically admitting that karl used to be jealous of chris (AND STILL MIGHT BE), and agreeing that chris knows her better - all in the same breath - on national tv

3) repeatedly saying she feels safe with chris and he'd beat up (and kill) anyone who dares to hurt her (it's insane the number of times she's said this??? and also interesting she never says this about her own husband despite having talked about him many times as well)

4) saying there are things she ONLY wants to talk to chris about and that they have their own secret language their spouses will never get (??? Huhhh ???)

5) the fact she owns a secret apartment with him in nyc ??? and possibly other shared properties ???

6) ditching her own charity event to surprise him at the premiere of his show. what.

7) all the kisses. so many. just so many. do real spouses even kiss that much. i doubt it.

8) all the eyewitness accounts over the years of people who have worked with them saying how they're unbearably touchy and there's so much tension it's difficult to be in the same space? and how when chris is on the same set as m everyone knows not to take up her time because it belongs to him ?

9) loudly championing EO and calling her son on the show 'noah benson-stabler' is extra sick considering the thing about parallel universes. it's almost like EO to her is self-insert fanfic. if she can't have him loud & proud (and legally) irl and she can't be his babymama she can sure af do it on her own goddamn show, right?

10) and so many more.

look. im not the crazy one here. im just picking up what she's putting down. there is no way her marriage isn't open in some way.

i would feel sorry for karl but if he bore witness to how m was like around c and still pursued the r/s then he walked into this willingly.

[thetoaddaddy]

🖥 — favorite platform besides tumblr?🎄 — favorite holiday(s)? 🎶 — favorite song at the moment? 📕 — favorite book/series? 🎁 — what have you accomplished in the rpc that you’re proud of? 🎉 — what are some of your favorite things to do with your irl friends?

🖥️: I guess youtube? I’m the type that likes to have some kind of talking in the background when in general (I dislike complete silence) so i like really long form deep dives or gaming videos to watch, draw or fall asleep to. I don’t spend a lot of time on other social platforms. Mostly cuz they all blow ass now.

🎄: Christmas. Mostly because I like drinking with my friends and family, watching the cheesy movies as we wrap gifts, baking yummy treats, eating my mother’s good af spinach dip and seeing people’s reactions when they open the silly gifts I get them. I like Halloween too. Im def the has decorations up in September type, I have some gothic things that live permanently in my room, and the sick candy deals the day after halloween is just mwah. Last year i pulled out the speaker to tempt kids to my house cuz they kept walking by mine despite the fact i had decorations galore in the windows and the lights were on. I look forward to doing it again and dressing up my kitties!

🎶: it boy by bbno$.

📕: The House of Leaves. You gotta have a really good attention span and pay attention to the tine details at first. But after that its a neat experience that really plays with the format of what a book is and what goes on a page.

🎁: i guess i have some renown now? Like people reach out to me to rp in the same sorta shy tone i take when i talk to these titans of the community and its like… y’all know im a nobody right? Im just some freak with an old man obsession willing to do pretty much anything.

🎉 : Going into the city to the mega mall we got. Or just sitting on the couch and playing games or mocking a movie.

[minevn]

first ramble of many: im feeling insane but hear me out. i’d just read this reddit story, in which OP’s bf would bully them online, anonymously, with different accounts and platforms, resulting in OP turning to the bf for comfort.

in irl circumstances, this is gross af, obviously, but i genuinely feel like kei is the type to do this same thing if he’s dating mc. you know, with his hackerman abilities and whatnot…..

he does hate seeing mc hurt in any capacity; mental, emotional, physical, etc. but he also takes a sick pleasure in being the cause of a certain pain that’ll make mc see him as a safe/comfort object, even tho he’s so deeply ashamed of his actions.

the less rational part of his mind tells him that he only wants to show you that he’s safe! that at the end of the day, he’s in control of all of this, so he can get as personal or distant with the insults coming from “pinkluvr26” or “madrabb1t” as he wants. these people can’t be kei, your wonderful, caring boyfriend who’s been nothing but supportive this whole ordeal. he’s there for you no matter what; even if your enemy is actually him.

even if you do find out, it’s not like he meant any of that stuff! he loves you! he loves you so much that he’d give or do anything to get you to love him back 💕

Your brain is absolutely massive, just huge. Mega mind literally cannot compete with you. Honestly, rn I'm not going to write a drabble for this cause my brain is fried and for some reason I just don't have any ideas, but I would eventually LOVE to write something with this concept. (I'm also sadly not the best story writer. Scripts I think I write fine, but I hate my writing whenever I write a drabble/story. Anyways I'll be working on this juicy story slowly in the background<3) For now lemme gush and brainstorm some ideas for this because I'm losing my MIND over this.

At first I really struggled to see it because it is a really shitty thing to do and I just couldn't imagine sweet baby Kei doing something like that. But the more I read this and thought about this, he ABSOLUTELY WOULD! (Bro manipulated ME even though he's my character?? like what?) Even better, he'd pin it on one of the other Li's since he knows you're already being stalked. Haruto would even be an easy target to blame for saying really personal thing, since he's known you since you were babies. And Yani and Kage are not THAT subtle with their stalking, he could easily pin it on them. Maybe even a Kage and Haruto two for one special, where Kei pins Kage saying the information, but Haruto was the one that gave it to them(He could do this with Jun and Aki as well). And the twins, the twins would be so easy to frame, they're already jerks to you anyways. Kei could say some of the most hate-filled and hurtful things to you and frame them for it. Minato might be a bit more tricky but maybe if you and Minato were friends, he could blame Haruto telling Minato your secrets or making up lies about you, after all, Haruto has been known to do that stuff in the past. He's great at mimicking their texting styles as well so it's just even more believable.

This is so devious and awful but I can really see Kei doing this, like I can't get this out of my head. Like I know I just read this, but like I'm gonna be thinking about this for the rest of my life. I'm feeling insane now too/pos. Dude, you're brain is literally on another level, this is like, one of the best things I've heard. I'm literally so in love with this concept. I do think Kei would be one of the most dangerous Li's, like mentally and emotionally, Yani is def the most dangerous when it come to physical strength(and using it. Hoshi and Minato would probably be able to beat them, but also if Yani is fighting for you then nothing can stop her)

Like especially if you have a pretty big following, I think he'd put out more personal information or spread lies that way you lose your following and get more hate that doesn't even come from him, and he'd try to use that to feel better about himself as well. Like "I may have started this, but I stopped a while ago and only said one thing." or "I didn't even say anything rude."(Because he wouldn't have to, he would just have to get the info out with proof)

He would 10000000% feel guilty, I think it would eat away at him and maybe even make him more sick and twisted. Like you said, he feels guilty, but he does get pleasure from it as well. It would just further his beliefs that you NEED him. Even if you found out it was him, who else would you turn to if he ruined your social status, no one else would want to talk to you. But it's okay, he'll ALWAYS love you. Even if he didn't mean any of that stuff, other people definitely think that stuff about you now, but he doesn't. And if you think he DOES feel that way, well, he'll work on making sure you know he loves you eventually, but for now, he uses it to his advantage a bit. You can think he feels that way about you, and he'll say things like "But I'm staying by your side, no matter what." or "I won't let you go through this alone." just to make you feel even more grateful towards him. Because everyone else has left you. Everyone but your sweet, caring boyfriend Kei.

Idk if anyone here knows what smau's are, but I would love to try a topic like this with smau. Just in case you don't know what smau's are, they're "a type of fanwork where fans create graphics that look like social media accounts for fictional or RPF characters" I've been really wanting to work with that but I wasn't sure with what, but I might have an idea relating to this concept if anyone is interested.

[leofwines]

im depressed af already and i turn 19 very soon and i dont drive yet ive never had a job never dated and I currently have Zero friends IRL (and havent for like a whole year) im not excited about this whatsoever. i feel sick

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

yeah i get that lol, irl friend gets like 3k notifs a week (damn imagine having a social life)

those 2 have been bias wrecking me lately. someone said "imagine if daigo took center in the nmx dance break instead of chan" aND I IMAGINED IT AND IT WAS SO EPIC OMG? WOW

my intrusive thoughts are high af today, i cried bc theyre so fucked up

and yes im kinda obsessed with kyunghos ass rn. like its so beautiful. the kardashians are blowing half their fuckin money on ass surgery but he has all natural ass and i love him for that thats such a power move. i could go on forever about that thing like its so perfectly shaped and everything-

okay sry i sound like a pervert

I totally get that haha 😌

Daigo is so iconic I love him and that would be so sick!!

Kyungho does truly got a nice ass! I don’t tend to focus but then there are times where I’m like GOD DAMN—

No need to be sorry ! I don’t mind I go on the same rambles but usually about big ears I love big ear idols I find them so cute and can talk for hours how much I love their big ears sksjsj 💕💕

[imtrying-ok]

for the number game: multiples of 10

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

It was probably an irl friend of mine, they're my only trans man friend and we're both bi, so we talk about gender and sexuality stuff often, as well as media genres we're interested in, im more woo-woo and aesthetic when it comes to textual analysis and he's more about the concrete underlying themes.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Well. I live right next door to my great grandma. It's family that's all I can really say, but she's very progressive for her age so it makes it easier. No problem with gay people at all.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm noo?? I don't think so. I'm open for change but doesn't sound attractive rn. I'm aromantic but have a rocky relationship with that part of myself. (I have a rocky relationship with every part EXCEPT being bi. That shits easy.) I'm stuck in a state where I wish I wasn't around because friend groups are so unpermanent and I long for the stability a partner could get me, but honestly having a partner feels worse than gender dysphoria for me. It's horrible. Ugh

40. What do you want to do after highschool?

Well I am after highschool yay! I'm a barista in a bookstore. I basically get paid to he gay and drink coffee.

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

Black, it was a Kuromi hoodie I got 2 Christmases ago.

60. Ever won a competition?

I've never really entered one? Outside of unwilling ones in school. One time in highschool I made my English teacher cry with a slam poem I wrote, that was a win for me.

70. Names of your best friends?

Yo mama (Im an anti-neet with irl friends, no doxxing)

80. What color pants?

They're grey with black sketchy mickey mouses on them.

90. Name a person you love.

My friend I mentioned earlier

100. How are you feeling?

I'm sick af I can't breathe at all tf

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

(she was emotionally manipulative and abusive ❤️)

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Not if it's both 1. Inside and 2. Somewhere I already know. If it's inside somewhere I don't know it's creepy. If it's outside no matter what I'm terrified.

130. Do you like subway?

I am an autist and part of that for me is I hate most bread and leafy greens. Especially combined. So no.

140. Summer or winter?

Summer, I just had to chisel my car out of ice 2 days ago. God.

150. Get the closet book to you, flip to page 42. What's the first line?

The Pocket: A Hidden History of Women's Lives by Barbara Burman and Ariane Fennetaux

"They were an unsettled and unsettling presence on the traditional sartorial order of things."

smh my pronouns are he/him stop misgendering me 😑/s

[courtjesterrr]

i have a lovehate relationship with my irl name

i love it cause it literally means heaven and thats sick af and it opens up such cool concepts like you guys dont understabd the feeling its POWERFUL. BEHOLD!! THE POWER OF AN ANGEL!! yknow?

on the contrary, i hate it, cause like. NO!!! THATS NOT ME!! call me anything other than that please. Also people always spell it wrong and im just like GRRR. Also i feel like my parents have tainted the name especially my mother but like.. yeah. ALSO ITS TOO FEMININE GAH i wish to be devoid of gender and exist as my own construct

but then again i feel that way with any of my names, call me something for too long and i get sick of it lol

[schumigrace]

at first: so super duper intimidating. but funny af. i was like i cant speak to this woman because she is so much cooler and smarter and funnier than i ever will be. she will crush me like a bug beneath her wise thumb

now: even funnier than i thought. still cooler and smarter than me. but not intimidating at all & i am in fact going to smooch you right now in this very moment. also ur like my tumblr older sister kind of. yknow. lots of good advice. i need ur opinion on too many things including outfits to carry out my sick and twisted irl fanfics. we understand each other sometimes w/out needing to say much. & i feel like ur kinda looking out for me?? anyway i'm getting too honest now and i need to stop ok bye this is getting embarrassing for me.

oh but wait one more thing. also a great friend. ily.

jd I love u sm I'm sobbing. I still can't get my head around people finding me intimidating lol I am a loser

BUT U ARE SO SMART AND COOL AND FUNNY AND ILYSM AND IM SMOOCHING YOU SO HARD U CANT BREATHE RN

I will always look out for u I am tearing up so hard rn ily😭😭😭😭