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drunk-on-dk · 10 months ago

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ahdfkkafhald IVY!!! this SENT me, thank you so much 🤍

About Cheol / Jeonghan! If it’s okay to send nsfw thoughts, I’ve just been thinking really hard about being a major brat to Cheol, teasing him and talking back, and him finally breaking and being like “You better watch it or I’ll fuck the attitude out of you” and it has me so 🥴 like please yes 🥺

hello lovely anon! YESSSSS pls I am always open to nsfw thoughts, and I LOVE this thought so much. I had so much fun writing this drabble, I really hope you enjoy this!!

Tags/genre: Smut (minors do not interact, 18+ ONLY), pure filth!, angsty? (not really, but he likes to rile you up and vice versa), established relationship, female!reader (girlfriend used as a term, she/her pronouns) c/w: dom!Seungcheol, switch!reader, reader is brat ofc, Seungcheol is a bit possessive and rough, a hint of dumbification, thigh fucking, unprotected sex (stay safe besties!), pet names (fem receiving): baby, good girl

“It’s embarrassing, Seungcheol,” you groan, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you march ahead of your boyfriend into the apartment. Regardless of his close proximity, you attempt to slam the door behind you, admittedly a bit out of character for you, but you were fed up with his behavior tonight.

Seungcheol isn’t fazed, his firm palm meets the cool wood of the door before you can shut him out, allowing him to slip in behind you. Biting his tongue, he observes as you pry your heels off, swallowing a groan when your dress rides a bit higher up your thighs.

With a huff, you turn to face Seungcheol, discontented to find him standing cooly in your entry way, hands shoved in his pockets and looking smug as ever. The dark look in his eyes poses a challenge, and you know your own orbs reflect the same look.

In fact, this whole night was a challenge for him. A challenge to see just how worked up he could get you until you broke. His sweet, little girlfriend who didn’t have an angry bone in her body. Except for when he gets you riled up, which he is finding isn’t that hard to do with a little teasing.

“Humor me, baby,” Seungcheol chortles, a distinct dryness in comparison to his usual laugh that makes you feel even more enraged. However, there is a playful lilt to his voice. “What was so embarrassing?”

“Don’t mock me,” you bite, rolling your eyes yet again and wandering to the kitchen, filling up a cup of water and chugging it in an attempt to cool down. Seungcheol follows closely behind, the amused smirk on his face only making your blood boil again.

The island counter is the only thing that keeps the distance between you and Seungcheol. Both of your hands are splayed out on the marble, using the surface as a means to support yourself as you come face to face with the man that has riled you up all night.

Your chest rises and falls with each heavy breath, analyzing your boyfriend as he mirrors you, his eyes leisurely examining your form until they land on the valley between your breasts.

“How fucking horny are you that we had to leave early from party with all your friends?”

Seungcheol sucks in a breath, loving the way your crude words make his dick stir in the confines of his pants. Even though he’s getting exactly what he wished for, he can’t help but be slightly annoyed by how bratty you’ve been since you’ve left the party. Not after you teased him all night with your fleeting touches and flirty eyes.

“How fucking horny are you that you kept eye fucking me in front of my friends?” He bites back, and you let out a faux scandalized gasp. Still, you don’t break eye contact with him as you carefully think of your next words. “Isn’t that what you like though, Cheollie?” You coo unsympathetically at your characteristically possessive boyfriend. Your tone sends an annoyed shiver through Seungcheol’s spine, but it goes straight to his dick. “So fucking needy, I can’t even spend five minutes talking with Wonwoo. Can’t even laugh at Jeonghan’s jokes without your hand wandering down to my ass.”

Seungcheol has been eerily smug since you got home, but this makes him growl, ears turning red as he threatens, “you better watch your mouth, baby, or I’ll fuck the attitude right out of you.”

“Know what’s embarrassing?” You challenge, seeing just how far you can push him until he gives you exactly what you want. Two can play at this game, and you’ve seen through his antics all night. “How you always have to make a scene to let everyone know you’re the one who gets to fuck me. Don’t worry, I plan on making sure you fuck me. Don’t act like I won’t get exactly what I want. ”

In record speed, Seungcheol is rounding the corner of the island, rough hands on your lower back as he bends you over the counter. One hand circles the base of your neck, keeping your cheek pressed against the countertop as Seungcheol presses the bulge in his pants directly between the backs of your thighs.

“Such a brat,” Seungcheol seethes, hot breath against your neck as he leans over you, listening for your little whimpers at his sudden display of strength. “What makes you think I’ll fuck you now?”

“As if you could resist,” you mutter, voice strained when Seungcheol’s hand massages the plush of your ass and his hips rut into yours. You do your best to roll your hips back towards his for some relief, but the force of his body keeps you against the counter.

“Seems like I have more self control than you do,” he quips, hand releasing the back of your neck when you attempt to grab onto him from behind, only for him to catch your hands and bring them back to the countertop. “If you keep your hands on this counter like a good girl, I’ll think about fucking you.”

You whine, abiding to this one command because you do want to be fucked tonight. Your clammy hands stay glued to the marble, the cold surface stinging your sensitive skin and heating beneath you.

“Good girl,” Seungcheol hums and you bite your bottom lip in an attempt to keep your mouth shut. His hands begin to work at your dress, lifting the bottom hem until it gathers at your waist, exposing your entire ass to your boyfriend, your panty-clad cunt on display for Seungcheol’s viewing pleasure only.

It’s incriminating how slick your thighs are near your core, panties dampened, the AC in your apartment making you shudder as you’re exposed, and it pulls an incredulous laugh from his chest. He coos, “you’re soaked, your panties are absolutely ruined.”

His fingers skim over your folds, the ghost of his fingertips leaving a warm streak on your panties and you muffle a moan.

“Don’t be so quiet, baby,” Seungcheol demands, pointer and middle fingers pressing firmly against your clit, evoking a lewd moan from the delicious pressure. “Good. Fucking. Girl.” Seungcheol’s fingers circle your throbbing nub harder with each word, content with your noises and rewarding you with more pressure.

It’s embarrassing when your thighs begin to shake, the altercation tonight with Seungcheol was enough to turn you on, but now that you have his hands right where you need him, you orgasm unexpectedly fast as he continues to stimulate your clit. Your walls clamp around nothing as the explosion of pleasure wracks your body, gushing into your panties and a high-pitched moan escapes you.

“Holy shit,” Seungcheol’s laugh is patronizing, knowing exactly what just happened, but he continues to press against your clit, the circles sending aftershock waves of pleasure through you. “You’ve got to be kidding me, baby.”

Your knuckles and fingertips are practically white from trying to grip the flat counter, and you finally lose control of your hands, darting back to grab at Seungcheol’s wrist, trying to keep him from overstimulating you.

This was obviously not the right move on your end, earning another strike from Seungcheol as he grabs your wrists, this time keeping them pinned to the counter.

“What did I fucking say?” Seungcheol scolds, his voice venomous as he moves both wrists to one hand, pressing you uncomfortably against the counter and your hips dig into the corner, but the pain oddly brings pleasure. You can hear his other hand begin to work at his belt, eliciting a cry from you in anticipation, but you know it won’t be good for you, not when you’ve disobeyed him yet again.

“My hands,” you whimper, pussy throbbing in need when you feel Seungcheol’s heavy cock against your thighs, his pre-cum leaving a warm, sticky spot on the back of your thighs. “I’ll keep them against the counter. I’m sorry, Cheollie.”

You know sorry isn’t enough, not when the tip of his length is prodding between your legs, lubricated by the slick that couldn’t even be contained by your panties, and you already have an idea of what your punishment will be.

“Does my brat need dick that bad?” he grunts, his length fucking between the plush of your thighs and you ache for him, crying out apologies against the counter.

It’s maddening feeling the drag of his cock between your thighs so close to your core, his brooding tip skimming your clit with each thrust. His grunts of satisfaction are enough to make you feel desperate, absolutely dumb for cock as he teases you with what you want the most.

“Who’s needy now?” He groans when you start begging, shuddering when you flex your muscles around his cock.

“Still y-you,” you cry out, barely stuttering the words out, still attempting to challenge your boyfriend. “Resorting to fucking my thighs when you could be fucking my pussy.”

“Fuck, who knew you could be so damn bratty,” Seungcheol grits, not exactly pleased with your response, but it’s exactly what he needs to hear to fuck you into oblivion. He’s finally releasing your hands, yanking your panties down your legs before pulling you upright, and turning you around to face him. He grips your chin between his fingers, a stormy look in his eyes, but you can tell he’s absolutely infatuated with you.

You look so messy, teary-eyed as you stare into his dark orbs, and soon he’s smashing his lips against yours. He’s devouring you like a man starved, tongue clashing with yours and soon he’s grabbing you by the thighs, lifting you up before placing you on the counter. He’s perfectly slotted between you, hands massaging at your thighs as yours roam over his entire body, landing in his dark locks and pulling at the hair, eliciting a groan from him.

Seungcheol’s cock is lined up perfectly with your inviting hole, but he has yet to give you what you want, too lost in kissing you. You pull away, a pathetic whine reminding him of what he promised, “fuck me stupid, Cheol.”

Without warning, Seungcheol sheathes his entire length inside of you, pulling a loud cry from you. His hands grip tightly at your ass, keeping you pressed against him as he fills you completely.

Immediately, you’re like putty in his hands, head lolling back at the sudden pleasure of feeling him so deep inside of you. There is no hesitation in his movements, Seungcheol barely gives you time to adjust, but he’s not worried when your body takes him this easily, like you’re made perfectly for him.

His plump lips are on your neck, leaving hot trails of saliva as he mercilessly thrusts his cock between your gummy walls, his arms the only thing keeping you sitting upright and pressed against his body. He feels too good, all encompassing as he repeatedly hits the sweet spot deep inside of you.

You’re blabbering words of nothing, apologizing for being such a brat, and Seungcheol’s breathing gets heavier with every word that tumbles past your lips. His dick is throbbing inside of you as your walls grip his length, rutting into you with a new fervor as your words become incoherent, fingernails digging into his shoulders as you clamp around him.

It feels too fucking good for him, loving the way you give in to him, knowing you are approaching your high soon enough and his thumb finds it way to your clit, pulling his favorite cry of pleasure from you yet again.

“Fuck,” Seungcheol groans, staring down at the space between your two bodies, right where his cock enters you with each lewd sound, and where his thumb works aggressively against your clit. “So fucking pretty, my good girl.”

“Please,” you mewl, desperate to cum, but squeezing your muscles to prevent yourself from releasing unexpectedly again.

“No more attitude, baby,” his voice is horse, and you know he’s nearing his high soon as well.

“No more,” you parrot, lips attaching to his jaw as you near the brink of pleasure, desperate for your release.

“I love you so damn much,” he groans, nose nudging yours and chasing your lips. He fills you so well with each thrust, your walls are throbbing uncontrollably, his words only egging you on. “Drive me so fucking crazy,” he pants between kisses, finally giving in to you. “Go on, baby, finish for me.”

Just like that, the flood gates are released and you’re washed over with immense pleasure, walls spasming around Seungcheol’s cock as he follows suit, filling your pussy with his hot cum and groaning into your shoulder.

“Love you too, Cheol,” your voice is weak as he slowly fucks his cum between your folds, his softening cock pulling out and stepping back to look at the damage done. He looks divine, absolutely fucked out with flushed cheeks and messy hair, and you feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

That’s until Seungcheol is helping you clean up, soothing the bruises on your hips left from the counter, and pulling you onto the couch for a late night movie.

“Aren’t you glad we left the party early?” Seungcheol’s words pull a snort from your lips, earning an incredulous look from you.

“You know what,” you hum, wary of his cheeky comment. “I’m starting to think you like it when I give you an attitude.”

Seungcheol’s smug smile and silence says enough.

#love letters 💌#im screaming i love this response #THANK YOU SM #ivy 💌

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sluckythewizard · 8 months ago

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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.

#cw gore #WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE #STILL A WIP #SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY #THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN #ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY #NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS #BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT #THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT #I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE #THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT #DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES #NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART #THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER #PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN #YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE #LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT #anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming #why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake #OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc #i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre

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manygreetingsfriend · 11 months ago

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i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign

#god of war #i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know #something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become #to survive this long #up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change #it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this.#it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better #we MUST be better. than they were.#who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes.#i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return #you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.#you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better.#i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better #i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it?#this series has destroyed me.#dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate)#can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’#AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!!#sindri’s face. has not left my memory #i’m dying scoob #gow #gowr

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strawberrycamel · 6 months ago

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ninjago seabound hurts. so much. what the fuck

#ninjago seabound #i think this might be the thing to get me drawing again #we shall see #also im very close to crying haha #she turned. into the sea. to save him #and like. the city and all their friends too but he was quite literally dying and the only answer was for her to become one with the sea an #and she #and he sees her after having the water taken out of his lungs. he sees her out the window and she sees him and they put their hands on #either side of the glass. and he doesn't yet know what she did. what it would cost #in the fight later. he sees her explode and takes on kalmaar with blind fury #and then she's back- as a dragon now- and she explodes again and comes back as a bigger dragon and #how can he think anything but good things? he knows what she did now but she's so strong. so invincible. ofc she'll overcome the odds #she'll keep herself together! she will. he has to believe that #and then she wins. and its all over. and everyone's saying they'll just have to get used to her watery body for now #until they find a way to turn her back.#she doesn't understand. she doesn't remember who she used to be. is actively losing the battle to retain her self #and they plead. all of her friends. her master. her Brother.#and him. Jay. her boyfriend.#and there's a moment. a single brief moment where she turns back.#she smiles and holds jay's hands. she caresses his cheek.#and just as quick as she came #she left. jay screaming her name as she dives back into the sea #and then the funeral. because what else do you call it but a funeral.#they call all of her friends and family. they pour seawater in an urn. they hold a service of sorts.#and i'd like to imagine each person feels responsible in some way. for not doing more. for not being as convincing to her.#some feel it more than others. Wu is- was her master. Kai her brother.#and Jay. Jay was her-#out of all of them Jay beat himself up the most. because what good is love if you can't convince them to stay?#woah sorry about that i was possessed by angst #also i feel like you could tie in Jay's abandonment issues with his birth parents here if that wasn't clear <3

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bardicfae · 1 year ago

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#I AM SCREAMING #careful it hurts???#WHIP ME OH MY GOD #cue s&m by rihanna #i love aabria so much and i love her even more for eliciting these responses #im TOTALLY fine btw totally #sam regiel #aabria iyengar #critical role #candela obscura

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gomzdrawfr · 1 month ago

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Gomzzzzz hello!!! I’ve been lurking in your blog for like, over a year now and I just wanted to say, your art is so freaking amazing and cute....the big cheeks!! I’ve always struggled with confidence in my own work, to the point where sharing anything felt almost impossible (stare at my stuff for hours only to delete them) But seeing you do your thing? I decided to try posting too. Okay it took a while but when I did I was fully expecting it to get like… 2 likes, max. But then YOU reblogged it, and my phone basically exploded. I’m not even kidding—my notifications were wild, and for the first time, I actually felt proud of something I made. It might sound silly and you probably don't know which art of mine you reblog but it really hyped me up and frankly...i found back the feel to draw again. I can't thank you enough for doing what you do, for making cod space a better and nicer place (your reblogs on others are always soooo positive and top tier)

Anyway, I’m keeping myself anonymous because, uhhh, social anxiety vibes and don’t want to overwhelm you;w; but I hope you know how much you’ve impacted people like me just by being yourself. I’m wishing you the absolute best for 2025!! zapping you with my beams to give you braincells for your school stuff

you deserve all the good things fr

-🦈

🥹

CryING iN THE CLUB— (my room)

Shark anon, thank you for the sweetest words, I really needed this today…and I’m so proud of you for finding back the love to draw again. I hope 2025 will be a blast for you too man!! Remember to take rest and have a good year ahead

#im trying to guess who you are…#theres a few people in my head but I really cant be sure…i did text one of them to check but its unlikely #i feel like you’re right tho if u didnt remain anon i would’ve panic #LMAO #i know its weird and like hard to really like what you draw i feel ya #idk about me making the fandom space nicer im just being chaotic af tho NDJSJDJSJS BUT THANK YOU 😭#this year I’ve been digging thru the tags and trying to find more creators around and share it to everyone #give the lil boost cuz they can do so much #i started from zero its time i give some of those numbers to everyone else #bee is this u (bcuz of the face) if its u im smothering u with love gdi #urhhjjjhghhhh (rubs my face + deep breath) ok i think im good #(breathes out) nope im crying again (SOBS LOUDLY)#its the stress hsing this opportunity to release itself #ok but this is genuinely so nice of you i really cant #even word it properly without JFJSJDJS WITHOUT SCREAMING EEEEEHHHRGGGH #im gonna exPLODE #LOVE LETTER FOR ME BASICALLY #you guys are too nice 😭💛#boop #naur man this needs to be added to my pin post or somewhere so i can reread it #ask response #thanks for the ask <3 #gomz having a melt down #sorry btw if this response is short my brain is still full of uni stuff i HRGH #didnt wanna make u wait either #<3 #just know i’ll be thinkinf about this forever #njjrjjjnnnn *gomz melts*

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ryescapades · 1 month ago

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g guys …,,.??:!; GU YSGUYS ….

a little rant in the tags bcs im Emotional™️ and so full of love rn

#yeah so i read the messages on my tree …#what the hell man #WHAT THE HELLLDNWNFBSN #/pos btw #WHY ARE YOU GUYS MAKING ME CRY #ITS LIKE BARELY 8 AM #yall are responsible #for the amount of pillow sheets i have to change #DRENCHED IN TEARS I TELL YA #/hj #i love u guys so much …#CHAT I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH #i wouldve screamed it out loud at the top of a building if i could #but alas im just a shy potato #why do u guys think i usually use ily instead of the full sentence ….#SKJWHDJSJS IM SO AWKWARD AND CRINGE PLS IM SO SORRY #(btw im always down to chat abt anything !! no matter how shy i am to start anything lol)#but yea i pray that everyone here #will get everything theyve ever wished for COME TRUE !!!#kithes and smooches and hugs for u all #i recorded your msgs btw #wanna keep them to myself like a dragon hoarding its precious treasures <3 #u guys r my treasures fr #would want to frame them and put em in my room too if i could hm #or maybe make a scrapbook #wait thats actually a good idea :o #anyways yea i love u guys sm #and i appreciate every one of u here !! thankyou sm for existing !!! and coming into my life !!! <3 #💬 rye rants

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queenofbaws · 11 months ago

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i will not stand here and say the quarry's writing is perfect by any means, but man. that moment. in the beginning. when chris absolutely loses his shit and you see every last one of the hacketteers freeze..............shocked, wide-eyed, so taken aback they don't move even to look at each other.............

and then, realizing what just happened, chris scrambles frantically to grab hold of the situation again. he tries to grin at ryan ("tries" being the keyword), he tosses him the keys like nothing's wrong. he tries to go back to being mr. h - he does, he tries so hard - and finally when ryan talks to him, there's what waver in his voice. that absolute lack of understanding in his eyes. ryan's not just surprised, he's not just shocked......for a second there, he is scared, and chris sees that, realizes it, and peels out of there before anyone can say anything else. just.....

JUST............

i think that moment is 100% the moment i realized UH OH I THINK I LOVE CHRIS HACKETT because that's when we see the counselors have been around this guy for two whole months (some of them even longer, possibly), and not once. not once!!!!!!!!!!! had they realized who he really was.

ugh. UGH. i LOVE IT.

#queenie rambles about supermassive #dont even get me started on the flashback with him and travis in the station either #we as the audience like. ONLY see chris at his worst. from the beginning he's grumpy. he's vaguely suspicious. he's screaming into a car.#but the hacketteers SO CLEARLY have not seen him like that. not even once. even when dylan jokes about the sex dungeon...#you know it's tongue in cheek on his part - trying to get a response from ryan #i just. gfdi i know i always end up feeling the most attached to the characters with literally the least screentime of all but i love chris #i really really ReaLLY love the idea of this guy who puts on the happy wholesome corny dad face #only to turn around and be eeeeevery bit as unpleasant as the rest of the family turns out to be #AGAIN! THE SCENE WITH TRAVIS IN THE FUCKING STATION!!!#this is probably just because im replaying tq and getting back into writing #the hacketts #but fuck me. FUCK ME. the thought of mr. h and chris hackett being two very separate characters is just. so. good.#anyway i'm in a totally normal place re: my mental health lately. how about you guys.

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professionaljester · 3 months ago

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love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time

#abc shut it #im tired of fighting it and trying to participate in life when it feels like i dont exist #love being lonely and then being told its due to my bad mental health so i pretend it doesnt affect me and i try and be myself #and no one likes me and i dont exist unless i remind people im a person so its kinda like #at a point where its not just suicidal ideation #its just a situation of /when/ and not if haha #ive been alive for 26 years and 20 of those have been exhausting as hell im ready to be done #exhausting and lonely and isolating im sick of it #i try and i try and my life doesnt get better or anymore worth living #and when i vent abt it i get told i need to try harder and im not trying at all and i need to stop being so depressed #its hard to not be depressed when the universe gives everyone around me a better experiences than me #i feel like im screaming that im here please pay attention #and nothing #i talk and my voice gets ignored or i get talked over #i post online to try and start conversations or make friends and i just get ignored #like do i exist at all to anyone else but myself #im trying to reach out and make friends but none of the ppl i wanna make friends with seem interested in having a conversation with me #i add all these people to discord and message them all the time #but nothing gets passed me sending them messages no one ever fucking messages me first #it feels like no one thinks about me and i dont matter #literally no one gives a fuck what i have to say #or anytime i talked im corrected on SOMETHING i say or i get a belittled in response #i cant do this shit anymore i cant #no one gives a shit about what i have to say and its really coming across that no one likes me #bc if my friends cant text me first or respond to my messages at all #why am i in the wrong feeling like im alone and have no friends when im the only one reaching out ever if i wanna have a conversation #and when i do feel like im allowed to talk i just talk and talk and talk and know the people dont give a shit abt what i have to say #i jsut feel like im here to be talked at and do things for other people and nothing more #that whenever i have an emotion its wrong and i need to bottle it up #and i dont eve get a chance to learn how to manage my emotions bc it feels like im going to get scolded or belittled for feeling things

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dustbowl-es · 24 days ago

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i love reading books that have no fandom whatsoever because then when i go crazy about them i dont have to deal with other people

#dust.txt #anyways. maud doing her little rebellions against her father because she cant do big rebellions without getting hurt #but he thinks shes too dumb and womanly to be doing shit that bothers him on purpose. so she can get away with little things #im fucking screaming. yes maud wage psychological warfare against that piece of shit #you funky little 14 year old i love you. lose your faith in god and start reading things he would punish you for.#remind him of your mom and that he is directly responsible for her death. stop hiding your eczema because it disgusts him.#get angry get pissed off and hold that anger like a candle in this shitty world you were born into

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the-ultimate-wifeform · 1 month ago

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#that urge to delete everything and disappear is hitting again.#sometimes it feels like having an online presence is more harmful than it is good.#if im going onto a website or a platform and getting upset more times than im not whats the purpose in using the site.#cant just up and cut everyone and thing out of my life though #that would hurt so many good people #no running. not again.#and yet i cant help but feel responsible for it all. i cant help but get upset about everything thats happened this year.#i cant help but feel like im fundamentally broken. that i cant heal or be better.#i dont know that i deserve to sometimes but i keep trying and trying #i feel like i owe it to others in a similar postion #how would everyone ive known feel if i was just. gone one day?#what if i died tomorrow.#what would happen to the people i care about #my pet cat #do i even really know what it means to care about others anymore?#do i do it right or do i ruin everything i touch.#maybe it would be better if i stopped trying. gave in. just once. im so tired.#just stopped trying. after all ive always been told i was never any good.#screaming into the void. doing all i can not to give into these harmful urges against myself all the time.#i want to be loved and cared for. i just think sometimes i dont know what that is.#maybe i cant learn. maybe i cant heal.#then again maybe i can. i guess maybe thats why im still here.#i hope someday i can believe that im truly cared for and that i won't be abandoned again.#losing people makes you feel jaded and hurt. although i understand why what happened #happened.

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llycaons · 1 month ago

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while I enjoy an AU where sect cultivators stood by wwx in his defiance against the cultivation world or supported the wen remnants with him, they can't hit like canon does bc they always feel a little...hm. like if the author is super invested and insists THIS is what should have/would have happened its like they're missing the point of all the characters and their arcs?

#annoyingly confident posts like 'YOU CANT TELL ME JIANG CHENG DIDN'T ADOPT A-YUAN BC LOOK AT HIS ANGRY UNCLE ENERGY #sorry but he canonically doesn't give a shit abt that kid #like I don't know if I can see cql jc MURDERING him but uhm. that character isn't jc it is a projection of someone else #and jyl's timidity and lack of social power wasn't the only thing that kept her doing exactly what the rest of the sect leaders were doing #like...she's not a cruel or harsh person she simply doesn't focus on politics she focuses on domestic matters and her family #and she was very happy to get married into a sect who was at odds w her brother bc she was in love #when hearing the wens running and screaming she simply said they were being 'taken care of'she is very happy to sit back and let characters #in positions of power do what they will...like she did give wen ning soup shes not HEARTLESS. she's just #very focused on her family and home #which isn't unreasonable esp after she's lost so much!#but I don't see her tact extending to politics honestly. unlike say mm or myu she doesn't rly care for it #and she's timid! she's easily intimidated! and these are just...parts of her character that feel real #she's happy in her family bc she feels protected but outside of that her emotional and psychological safety is guarded #I mean....myu nonwithstanding #anyway. I like when authors see her for a timid homemaker who cares primary abt the domestic sphere #and still respects that and engages with it #not my usual preference for female characters but family is EVERYTHING to jyl. and without that focus it just doesn't feel as much like her #the aus rly are fun tho #NOT THAT those responsibilities on her were always light or that she didn't sacrifice anything bc of course she did - she was jc and wwx's #crutch for YEARS #and I realize I compared her response to the sects leaders'. I know she's not a leader!#but like...I also understand her priorities and how devastated she was when wwx left #and why that loss for her overshadows the high moral principles wwx is adhering to #she doesn't want innocent people hurt she simply wants her brother back etc.#family being everything to her also.means it gives her her strength and courage and resolve tho!!!#EP25 DEFENSE OF WWX AT DAFAN ONE OF THE BEST SCENES IN THE SHOW >>>>>>#im on mobile but I made a typo I meant NOT guarded. you know #cql txp

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seaweedstarshine · 1 year ago

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Eleventh Doctor Chronicles: Sins of the Flesh is really good. Really really good. Experience with certain attitudes can be so isolating, surrounded by people who won’t bother to understand the impact of growing up in that environment (because the world's so progressive now, right), and so — I'm so glad it exists. I also liked the discussion in the interview commentary about how being a monster and doing monstrous things are not mutually exclusive. Like most things, homophobia is pervasive because it is structural. Religious fervor is not inherently bad — “your god is love,” Valarie says to Lily — but as soon as hellfire is brandished around, it's used routinely to empower monstrous things, in a way that becomes unsafe to debate. Especially for young & dependent people who can't escape it.

Conditional love. Moral panics. Purity culture. Self-hate. Mob mentality. This audio. It's timely.

I appreciated what they said in the interviews about not only about the research, but the four rounds of sensitivity readings. I wish the TV show had that level of care sometimes…

#actually the whole Everywhere and Anywhere boxset is excellent #tw homophobia #valarie lockwood #eleventh doctor #so I listened to the second audio in a muggy headspace when it came out and comprenhended none of it and thought what.#then I listened again today and understood it perfectly and cried the whole way thru. I love Valarie's husband ngl #they SHOULD have a poly marriage with Roanna on Medrüth to add to the timey wimeyness. totally normal to the Doctor #the Doctor emotionally saying Rivers death breaks his hearts in the same episode where he says-#'she looks drained. I guess marriage does that to you'. honestly all of the yowzah refs in eleventh doctor chronicles are kind of gold.#and the first story!!!!!! Valerie's dead mother!!!!!! the Clara mention in the summary was fully clickbait tho #oh and the Doctor telling Valerie about the Ponds at the end? SCREAMING- he didnt tell Clara about the Ponds!#in other audio news im slowly gettin thru eighth doctor audios while working. Neverland/Zagreus/Scherzo were as great as ppl say!#the anti time arc made me finally love charley (and find her interesting)#words by seaweed #this post just lowkey a subtweet at rtd. no offense to rtd for always thinking hes right without consulting the groups he talks about #in ADDITION to the story being cathartic. Cybermen running gay conversion therapy is a *chefs kiss* concept. I'm so glad it exists #I might delete this post later its making me feel low key vulnerable *ramble ramble*#by the way I don't think religion is mostly or uniquely responsible for homophobia.#I think it's like any bigotry or hatred. plus religion is an easy way to claim that god is on their side for ANY hatred they have #which means religious homophobia is a form of homophobic abuse that's not only mental and emotional but spiritual as well #it hits different when they invoke god. the entity who made you the way you are #finally watched Barbie and cried because even tho the message was simple my parents will never understand it #my dad who thinks patriarchy is exaggerated and my mom who thinks god made women to serve men #I’m in my mid 20s now it’s fine. I feel so alone its fine #im fine :D or I wouldn't be subtweeting RTD :D :D :D #I should sleep I have work in the morning ~time to listen to some eighth doctor and charley in the divergent universe~#why is 2024 busier than 2023 #anyway sins of the flesh was kinda surface level ngl but I don't think anything deeper would've worked as well #it got the emotional beats (and it doesn't need to be a complex argument to point out the hypocrisy long as the listener aint brainwashed)#the doctor telling the homophobe his hatred killed his daughter and he'll never be forgiven

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xx-psych0-rabbit-xx · 6 months ago

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the whole thing of treating pets like family members is real cute until you lose the capability of understanding youre caring for animals n not cute fluffy plushies labeled "child"

my mom INSISTED on adopting 2 somewhat big dogs out of pity last year, she insists on getting attached to pets like theyre her children so thats the cutesy way she originally treated them.we do not have enough space for 2 dogs their size n she refuses to ever play w them or take them on walks (im unable to do that myself bc i cant go where theyre kept without help n shed just get mad.i know she would from experience), most of her interaction w them when shes not cutely calling them her kids bc theyre cute to look at is screaming at them for barking, she literally spends the entire day at times talking abt how she wishes she didnt have them n their food is getting way too expensive for how much money we have.so yk she decided to give them away to this guy w a HUGE farm space proper for dogs like them, ignoring how she treats them one could say its noble she realized theyre not well here n let them go somewhere better for their needs

anyways then in less than a day she threw a hissy fit she wanted her "children" back bc she cannot see pets as animals but as cutesy children who need mommy constantly so the dogs r back at somewhere theyll eventually die of boredom bc their only entertainment is barking at lizards bc my mom cant understand dogs have needs n arent there to play cutesy family roles n look nice.its just your responsability for a pet owner to know your ANIMALS needs, n some ppl r literally just not cut to own pets if they insist on seeing them as "essentially people bc its cute to treat them like they r" than animals w specific needs to be kept

like.on base calling pets family is cute.i get the appeal im willing to play along w being the pets sister bc it IS a cute term to use for fun.but when you do it sm you can no longer understand you own animals n not literal children (granted if she treated a child like that shed land in jail immediately) thats just.honestly youre just kinda stupid n obviously get pets bc theyre cute to have, not bc you want to take care of animals

#analiceoriginal.txt #she told me i have no love for them bc i didnt get excited they were back like yeah girl bc THIS ISNT A PROPER PLACE FOR THEM???#im sorry for understanding the concept dogs of specific sizes NEED specific spaces #also i was busy crying abt the fact now i have to put up w her screaming abt them constantly #sorry thats just not exciting news.dogs r back to getting mistreated n im back to putting up w her anger issues #just.fuck man suddenly i rly understand why l.aios was annoyed at s.enshi insisting a.nnie was safe n friendly #that is an ANIMAL w ANIMAL needs n behaviors youre ignoring !!! your love for them is built on a fundamental misunderstanding #of how animals work!!! dumbass!!!#its the same shit w the cats kinda too.theyre her cute children until they need vet attention where suddenly theyre #getting on her nerves bc theyre too needy when sick #heck girl im only here bc i sounded cute to have too 💀#also miss responsability impulsive adoption literally got 3 dogs killed before bc of this behavior #she insisted on adopting this dog knowing she could have been sick w a rly bad disease thats incurable for dogs #guess what the dog turned out to have n spread to our other two dogs killing all of them within a month!#n guess who decided that wasnt her fault yesterday bc shes claiming my ~uncles bad energy~ somehow fucking did that!#this is more of a vent than an objective post abt an issue but idk someone can prob relate

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