#im scared something happened and im scared it's something i did wrong
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jinwoosbabyboo · 1 day ago
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How would the LADS men react to their MC being really sweet and soft spoken but become toxic during video games (screaming, cursing out players, laughing when they lose)
Crash Out
You were so composed and well spoken in public. Little did your man know what he was in for when it came to you and video games. A/N: I watch a whole lot of CoryxKenshin, Berleezy, Joeiaco, PeegTV, and Britani so I kinda (hella) be screaming and crashing out everytime I play video games CW: Strong language
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Zayne
Zayne is the type thats worried about your cortisol levels as he’s watching you yell at the tv. He would definitely brings you cold water and some fruit while trying to gently coax you off the game for a while, but would only end up doing as you say which is to leave you the hell alone.
You currently have a death grip on your controller and trying very hard not to yell into the mic on your headset. You failed.
MC: You fuck ass camping bitch what kind of bullshit is this?!
Zayne: Uh honey?
MC: Yes baby?
You leave the match — slamming your headset to the ground — and focus on Zayne giving him with the most innocent look
Zayne: Are you alright?
MC: Im good why?
Zayne: You sound like you’ve forgotten yourself
MC: Oh because this musty PT Cruiser built bitch was camping the third floor during the entire match pissin’ me the fuck off
Zayne: …
MC: …
Zayne: Why don’t you take a break?
MC: I will
You give him the sweetest smile before grabbing your headset and slipping it back on your head
MC: Right after I blast this little bitch to hell and laugh in their face
Zayne: ……….ok
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Rafayel
Rafayel is the type to just check in sparingly to avoid being the one in the line of fire. He was not trying to catch a stray when you were raging, but he also just wanted his girlfriend back, but instead he had hot headed Hades on his hands. Rafayel comes in to find you at your PC set up he can tell something is wrong even with your back to him
Rafayel: You seem angry
MC: I CAN’T BEAT THIS STUPID FUCKING GAME
Rafayel: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!
MC: I’M NOT YELLING AT YOU
Rafayel: YES YOU ARE
MC: *Heavy sigh* I’m playing this game Scrutinized and I'm supposed to file all these reports while also making rounds around the house because there's two killers trying to kidnap me and I don’t fucking understand how this lucky charms bitch keeps getting in the house
Rafayel: Have you tried taking a break?
MC: I DON’T NEED A FUCKING BREAK I NEED TO BEAT THIS MANS ASS WITH A SKILLET AND HOT GRITS
Rafayel: ……..I miss my sweet girlfriend where did she go?
MC: Im sorry Raf
You pull him how down by his collar and give him a quick kiss
MC: Check back in an hour I should be done with night 1 by then
Rafayel nods and leaves you to scream at your computer. He silently leaves littles treats on the desk for you. He’s scared he might be the one to receive your wrath if he bugs you too much.
Rafayel: Done yet?
MC: BITCH GET UP OH MY GOSH
Rafayel: nervermind ._.
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Xavier
The type that tries to help, but only ends up pissing you off unintentionally. He just wants to help, but you don’t want his help because you know the second he gets his hands on the game he’ll not only beat it, but would beat it in record time.
MC: I’m about to rage I'm about to rage I’m about to rage
Xavier brings you a glass of water and sits it on your desk
Xavier: What's wrong baby?
MC: I have yet to beat this fucking game this damn Nun from hell keeps spawning everywhere
Xavier: What game is it?
MC: Nun Massacre
Xavier: You don’t seem like yourself want me to try?
MC: Xavier I love you however if I let you try this game and you beat it in one go Im not eating with you for a week.
Xavier: I just don’t like seeing you stressed
MC: and I don’t like seeing this refrigerator built bitch get the best of me
Xavier: and you don’t want my help?
MC: No
Xavier: Are you sure
MC: Yes
Xavier: ……you’re sure?
MC: Ask me one more time and see what happens
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Sylus
Sylus is so amused seeing you get so mad over a game. He’ll be egging you on for sure he’s not even trying to make it better. He wants to see your anger practically radiating off of you. You’re on the brink of raging? He’s chuckling in the background. You’re about to slam your hands on your keyboard or throw your controller? Go ahead he’ll buy you a new one.
MC: *yelling into the headset* FUCK YOU BITCH …. YOU SOUND LIKE YOU’RE EASY TO DRAW SHUT THE FUCK UP TALKING TO ME TURN YO MIC DOWN
Sylus: *Chuckling* like they’re easy to draw?
MC: YES! That bitch was just mad because I found her camping spot and sniped her ass
Sylus: You should do it again just to make her mad
MC: Oh trust me I'm on her ass now her play style is corny I'm not letting her team win this match
Sylus: Would you like me to bring you anything while you show her who’s boss?
MC: Water and some cherries please
Sylus: I’ll be back in a minute
Sylus walks out and can still hear you yelling all the way in the kitchen
MC: GET FUCKED BITCH SUCK MY DICK
Sylus brings backs what you asked for and kisses your cheek before making himself comfortable to watch you cuss people out over a game.
Sylus: A dragon growing her horns
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orcelito · 6 months ago
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Man and I'm gonna a have to go to my damned psychological testing initial interview like this. It sucks ass.
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finalexpenses · 2 months ago
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apparently people are fulfilled by hea because theyre reading it as the spark in a relationship being lost instead of what it is . which is domestic abuse .
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bigtimefreq · 10 months ago
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im so scared of the last episode of the miniseries
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lottieratworld · 5 months ago
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paranoid as hell rn nobody talk to me for the next like 7 hours i dont want to be perceived
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finnslay · 1 year ago
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I'm too anxious and overthinker-y for this shit
Partner: Finn.. im gonna have to talk to you tonight..
Me: oh..?
Partner: about smth..like we can talk rn, idc, but i need to talk to you tonight..
Me: did I do something wrong?
Partner: ur gonna hate me,, and thats understandable.. u didnt do anything wrong and its not you.. its not you i promise..
Me: I doubt I would hate you
Partner: there's no boubt you would hate me a little ☹️
Me:....doubt it but okay....
Partner: :/....
Me: r u okay....?
Partner: yea im okay...
Me: alr then...
Partner: finn im just gonna talk to you later...
Me: okay....love you, talk to you at lunch....
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homophyte · 2 years ago
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it is interesting to me that ive seen lately (n yknow this is subjective and likely not any real social force just what ive seen) many queer people simultaneously talking about taking back and embodying unpalatable and ‘unmarketable’ queerness (the recent return to the terms faggot and transsexual come to mind) which i think is pretty evidently shaped by the conservative moment were in of demonizing queer ppl and especially gnc and trans people as predators--it reads as a return to queer isolationism in the face of external hostility, imo--while at the same time ive seen a lot of rallying around the “original” 6 stripe rainbow flag as opposed to any of the purportedly ‘factional’ flags of different queer identities, with the assumption being different identity flags divide us while the rainbow flag encompasses everyone and its kinda fascinating to me bc the rainbow flag is probably the single most marketable and palatable and uncontroversial symbols of queerness which has been seamlessly uptaken by those who wish to sell it back to us as gets pointed out every pride month with all the cringey pride merch.... i dunno you could maybe take that as a point of hypocrisy and claim the queer community is itself in a conservative moment rn where its returning to a sense of history and historical continuity (perhaps even out of that sense of external threat) or even that the queer community has for some time been in a conservative moment given the like, decade of identity discourse and lashing out at any people deemed to not have a sufficiently established history or however we should categorize the bihets/ace discourse/transtrender-tucute discourse/pan discourse/bi lesbians discourse (because lets be frank its essentially all the same discourse just keeping up its momentum by leapfroging from one target to the next) which i think is, like, SOMEWHAT true but not entirely? its more interesting to me, in any case, as an expression of a conflict the queer community is facing given that current state of affairs RE antitransness and that very recent history. like, the simultaneous need to retreat to a safe sense of community which is welcoming to the very things the outer world is demonizing ie mutable gender, complex or contradictory experiences of gender, gender expression which is hostile to the cis binary, but also the ways in which it has to grapple with those discourses which have largely defined the community infighting for again the past decade. its queer people begging the question ‘how can we make the queer community welcoming to the girlfags and genderfucks and tboys who are being threatened when we have spent so much time making the queer community a hostile place for anyone with a non-conventional or not easily (or even just palatably) sortable sense of queer identity’. and the answer it seems to be grappling with at the moment is like, welcoming all that diversity of experience but being absolutely averse to naming it. yes we love all the fuckery with gender and sexuality never be marketable but like, ew, why are you calling yourself [insert microlabel here]. you can be genderweird but you cant call yourself genderweird. you can only exist as queer in the broadest possible way (the all-inclusive gay pride flag!) but if you try to name the specifics or use those identity labels weve been fighting over for years youre doing it wrong (the progress pride flag is now ugly and cringey and ‘too much’). i think theres something also to the way (at least on this site) transmisogynistic discourses have really taken hold as legitimate (though yknow i wont downplay how much a problem transmisogyny has like. always been in queer spaces no matter what) in the name of protecting n defending trans people. like its just regurgitated transmisogyny but its being mobilized supposedly in the service of helping trans people. idk its definitely getting a little late for me to string this together fully coherently but theres a throughline there, in the ways certain ideas are being consolidated and reified as ‘yes were more progressive now!’ when i think theres definitely something to question there in terms of like...are we? are we actually? are we doing better by the people were trying to help or are we setting strict standards and forcing ppl to adhere to them again?
#myposts#this is long and honestly probably Nothing#i dont even really have a way of proving its the same group of people saying both things except fro anecdotally seeing it#and even thats not proof either is a real social force with like power. i could be entirely wrong on every count here#but i do think theres something to the idea that like#as ive seen said#yknow 'ace discourse never ended you all just accepted ace people didnt deserve support and then moved on w those views internalized'#i think thats more broadly true for like. all those discourses i mentioned. and for the transmisogyny i alluded to#but honestly i dont even want to name the specific phenomenon im talking abt there bc those people. scare me.#but yknow ill say it ive felt way more pressure lately to not call myself pan than i did at the height of pan discourse#before it became cringe to care about it and instead of actively shitting on pan ppl we moved on to passively doing it#ive largely started just. calling myself bi to avoid the arguement. which i predicted i would have to do years ago#and now look at me doing it! not really a fluke that its happening now. i think#which isnt to say were moving 'backwards' per se but that these ideas are not now and never have been really challenged#so weve just internalized their logics--reactionary logics--and its having an interesting effect now that we need a progressive community#for our safety.#now we cant say anything about it because to bring it up is jeopardizing everything weve built and the people were keeping safe!#cause we dont count as people deserving of safety were disruptors who only belong when we dont make noise. idk. or thats how i feel#again i dont really know if this is true at all im more just...thinking through it i think#basically like what im seeing--i think--comes from simultaneously that need to be unmarketable in the face of hostility#coming into conflict with a decade of momentum to make queers solely marketable. and i think thats producing some interesting--but sucky#--discourses in the current moment#last disclaimer that i might and am likely totally wrong! okay lauren out. post send *nervous sweating*
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cheerfullycatholic · 2 years ago
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It's 9pm right now and a car pulled all the way into our driveway, stopped right behind one of ours, and left pretty quickly. It might be just that they had the wrong house, but please pray for our safety anyway. Thank you
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dirt-str1der · 2 years ago
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yk every time i see a post about somebody wishing bad things on another person i think ‘dirt-strider to kiryu’ you’ve broken me brain
You see a post thats like i want to stick him in time prison so that he gets so bored he starts breaking his own bones to get even a hint of stimulation and its tagged me at kiryu and you scroll down and its a post thats like i want to feed him chips from my cupped hands like a wild stallion and its also tagged me at kiryu also hiiiiiiiii
#Thanks for the ask !#i wont lie to you i want to do yo kiryu what they did to the family in reddot story the pancake family#his life is a bit too easy i want to give him more obstacles thats why im kidnapping him and breaking my little prince’s ankles and#releasing him in a forest in another country altogether and he has to survive with his injuries until they heal and they will heal wrong and#it will forever hurt to walk now and also when he sees another human being now he will always flinch and he has nightmares every night about#being feverish and starving to death and years into his recovery i meet him again and invite him to watch a movie with me but when i put the#tape in its actually just a highlight reel of his time in the wilderness and he gets scared but he cant move and its because i gave him some#tea earlier and oh this ? its laced with drugs. and he sits blearily beside me and im holding his head up so he watches the screen and he#recalls every terrible thing thats happened to him i put the tv on full volume so he can relive the leaves and twigs cracking under his#hands and knees as hes dragging himself across the forest floor and and his clipped shouts of pain whenever his broken bones catch on a root#and his enraged screaming as he grapples foxes and coyotes that are trying to scavenge the food he painstakingly gathered and he can listen#to the way his voice devolves into something unrecognisable and hes wondering how i got this footage but then he realises this scene is#familiar hes on his last legs and he hears footsteps approach not those of an animal but of a person. he looks at the screen and he sees his#own face staring into the camera wild eyed and filthy and that on the other side of the camera is the hitchhiker who ‘found’ him and he#realises it was me who did this. i could have rescued him at any time the gratefulness he feels to that kind samaritan curdles in his chest#it comes with the withering realisation it was all a game and the one who put him through it all was right beside him and i laugh and put my#hand around his shoulder and ask if he liked the movie and he fights his paralysis and he grips me by the neck and throws me to the ground#and he says you .. you ... and i frown apologetically and say That bad huh ? well we can put on another. and he cant even say words anymore#hes so angry that he grips my neck and he strangles me and the whole time my face gets purple im laughing and laughing and laughing at him#anyway thats one of my greatest fantasies its a fantasy because i couldnt do that to the poor guy im not that mean but i do want him to kill#me and for me to deserve it. very important that i started this fight and that he ends it thats what i want to have ... and also to like#cuddle and stuff ... because i like him ...
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
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teabookgremlin · 1 year ago
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really hate that any time someone seems slightly upset with me i cry
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forehead451 · 12 days ago
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#it really scares me that whenever i know something's off in a relationship#like ongoing something's not right#their treating me differently than before and i clearly did something they didn't like but i have no idea what#yes i could leave it alone#and sometimes i do and wait for them to bring it up#but they dont and it continues and im going to address it#im terrified in my SOUL like triggered keyed up insecure but trying to hold it together and not lashing out but literally being vulnerable#and powering through to express that i know something's wrong and im not sure what's happening but im feeling insecure and far from them#amd that i want to understand what happened#its resulted in a traumatic discard#with k and j and t and n#and with a#the people i hold in the highest regard change to look at me like dirt#and im never malicious towards them#im not intentionally ignoring their needs#i try and i forget sometimes but i still remember and try to make it right again#ill say sorry ill listen if corrected and get clear instructions i actually care and want to do right by them#they dont meet me with that grace or good faith#im never mad at them just really confused and wanting to fix it#i surround myself with unsafe people despite thinking theyre everything#somewhere down the line they made it clear how emotionally closed they are#and i ignore it#there's a reason i feel so unsafe approaching them in conflict#part of it is my own trauma#but. part of me already knows what kind of conversation its going to be. how they'll react.
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wolfreplaced · 2 months ago
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xfang-is-deadx · 3 months ago
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My biggest fear is hurting someone the same way M hurt me because she was the first person I ever loved and now that's just how I love people
If I love someone I want them to hurt me. And sometimes I hurt them.
I'm not scared of raping them like she did. You can't accidentally do that (fucking duh). But like, what if I think something is normal because she did it to me, but it's actually abuse?
I thought what she did to me was love, so what if there's more of it that I still think is love? What if I repeat it?
I'm terrified I'm going to do something, even though I know that I've beaten it into myself that what she did was abuse, so obviously I should know the difference, right?
But what if I don't? What if there's something I can't tell is wrong? What if I fuck it up?
Again, I know logically it's just an intrusive thought or whatever. But what if I actually end up doing it? I'm fucking worried that I will.
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tumbler-dot-com-user · 4 months ago
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A boy asked for my number today it's so weird 😭 he was nice but I had no idea what to do when he kept taking to me
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hecksupremechips · 5 months ago
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Had a very bad day Gotta eat gravel
#had to work a shift with only one other coworker and we were in this same position last weekend too and so like last time#he had this Moment where like as we locked up he was yelling very frustratedly about an annoying customer#which is fair but lol we dont know each other well enough for him to yell and rant like that to me like i get it but#god i hate yelling and just felt like shit and wanted to die#then tonight i was legitimately kinda scared cuz uh liiike. he had a lot more little Moments#i think like some kid dropped something and it broke and he had to clean it up and he got frustrated#and like. went in the back where the custom framing shit is and there was loud banging with a hammer and glass shattering#and he went back and did this multiple times and customers heard it too and were like uhhh 😰#i was already in a bad mood coming in and this really didnt help its honestly a miracle i didnt start having a meltdown#i guess ive just had to deal with so many man babies at home that all i can do is look at them like a disappointed parent and ask if they#would like me to take them to daycare#so yeah that was fun i uh dont like this guy hes always wearing very cutesy clothes and all i can think of is the bit where its like#‘there is nothing little about your things’#also i got money problems and keep getting fast food cuz i got eating problems and theres not much here i can eat and obviously#buying food so much wastes money so i was gonna try to make a sandwich today and like we dont have half the shit needed#and the bread was moldy obviously and theres so many bugs in the house cuz ive been too busy to clean and my sister was here#and the cat is here and my mom does everything wrong and then i spilled water everywhere and everything just went wrong#im also in a horrible place mentally doing so so bad so unbelievably stressed rn#just like. im repressing very bad and literally procrastinating having feelings like everything is going so wrong but i cant feel bad#because i dont have time for that so ill feel bad later when i escape which surely will happen someday ahahaha fuuuck#dont know whats real anymore maybe ive made everything up maybe the abuse is just me being dramatic maybe im the worst child in the world
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