#im scared of setting boundaries in general though for a lot of reasons

[lostjudgmnt]

i never know how to approach situations where i realize i need to set a boundary as a result of something someone did when it’s one of those deals where the person is someone i like and they havent done anything WRONG and its in no way personal i just realized something about myself because of something they did that i probably need to set a boundary about. i worry about making them feel like theyve done something wrong or upsetting them or otherwise them taking it personally when its really just me being weird about something and trying to take care of myself and preserve whatever relationship we have (even if its something as simple as being mutuals)

[kanasbinwriting]

can i get some DG content pls? im starved. general dating hcs, how he and mc got together etcetc? pls and tyy x)

GENERAL DATING HEADCANONS

Thank you so much for your request and sorry for taking SO long!!! I tried my best to come up with decent headcanons, sorry if it's not to your liking

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- I'm not sorry, but if you even want to have a chance dating him, I feel like you need to have some serious mental health issues

- I doubt that he would date someone who's okay in their brain. I think It'll bore him to death

- I don't think he'll just talk to you without a specific reason

- So he either delivered something to you (like in the game) and you two got wrapped up in a conversation, or he randomly saw you do something weird or suspicious

- It'll definitely take him long to even consider dating you since he's incapable of feeling romantic attraction

- I think your relationship would progress slowly, a slow burn basically

- Hey, but he definitely wouldn't mind being friends with benefits at first

- I think it's obvious that your relationship is unhealthy

- He wouldn't emotionally manipulate you or anything of sorts, but he would use the things you told him in a state of vulnerability in the heat of the moment against you

- He's shit at apologising, so he often just results to pretend that nothing had happened after a fight

- If you do something that upsets him, he won't be afraid to speak up

- You two fight quite often, but it's not always about something serious

- I think he would be very direct with stating what he wants

- However, all the negative things aside, I think he still deeply cares about you

- Even when he doesn't often show it

- I think he would move fast in a relationship, being straightforward and all

- You two can never just share an innocent kiss, he always needs to shove his tongue down your throat

- I think it's safer if you don't ask for kisses in public

- I doubt that he ever thought about what his love language(s) is/are

- But if I had to come up with something, I think it's quality time

- If you have hair, I think he really enjoys just brushing through it to calm himself down

- I think he would enjoy indoor dates more than going out and preparing something special

- He'd actually also enjoy movie dates a lot

- Especially when you two watch a horror movie

- He doesn't really have set boundaries when it comes to love languages and wouldn't mind giving you what you need if you asked him to

- Be prepared for a lot of teasing though

- Even if you can make fun of him for being a sore loser sometimes, he still adores playing videogames with you

- You're his player 2 now, sorry Damon...

- I think he'd enjoy playing horror games with you the most

- He loves to randomly jump-scare you as you play the game

- I don't think that he's one to get jealous easily since you two would have an open relationship

- If he ever were to get jealous he wouldn't mind cutting someone's throat

- You two are the worst duo in prank history

- He'd definitely want you to join in his mischievous deeds

- But don't think that you'll be safe just because you're his partner in crime

- He's a big flirt and will get even worse when you get flustered easily

- But he'll also enjoy it if you flirt back

- He not so secretly enjoys cooking for you

- If you two were to cuddle, he'd enjoy being the big spoon

- He also always has his hand either on your waist or your butt

- I think that he sometimes randomly spaces out as you talk and just goes "Huh?" when you wave your hand in front of his face, trying to bring him back to earth

- He's very impatient, so there's no beating around the bush with him

- I think he does feel some sort of sympathy when you struggle and might even hold you to his chest as you cry

- If you ever feel down, he would draw smiley faces on your hand

- I think he wouldn't be too keen on giving pet names

- He still calls you some kinky shit like pet etc sometimes

- He wouldn't be able to hide his smile when you give him one or more pet names though

- I think he wouldn't particularly want to participate in your hobby, but he'd still want to see what you're up to and listen to you talk about it

- He'd definitely surprise you with gifts related to your hobby

- I think his living space is tidy and if you were to live together, he'd be pissed if you ever forget to clean up after yourself

- He'd definitely enjoy dressing up for Halloween and cause havoc with you

- You guys steal candy from children <3

[love-advice-on-call]

Hi brian! I have an anxiety disorder probably and ive always kinda shut out all potential romantic or less romantic opportunities. Im twenty now, so im not that old even, but i am pretty emotionally mature in general, so I’m really feeling my inexperiencedness. I iust started dating someone, its been very nice and i am very in love. Shes been going trough a rough patch lately so at the moment shes not always great at boundaries, she tends to overshare, and i dont mind hearing the rough stuff, but i dont know her well enough to handle everything and it sometimes triggers my issues with closeness and vulnerabilty, and i dont want to feel like running away with her. It feels like we should slow down a little bit. Do you have any advice on how to communicate about this? Or advice in general about how to build good communication would be appreciated as well, i have a hard time with talking sometimes.

Hi, for sure I think you sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders and I can tell that you care about your girlfriend very much. You've definitely put a lot of thought into this and having the right balance of care for your girlfriend and yourself is a great starting point.

I think you should really just tell her what you told me and I mean like exactly. You've got all the qualities already of setting a boundary and communicating how you feel. You just got to say it to the person it matters the most to. Remember to focus on the setting a boundary part and let her know that hearing some of the heavier things can make you feel a bit overwhelmed. That doesn't mean she doesn't let you know what she is going on though. You guys can still work towards a medium. For example, she can give you a little preview before talking about something really heavy so you have a chance to decide if you want to hear it.

Now, part of communicating with someone is banking off the hope that they take what you said well. Sometimes you can say everything right, but if the other person isn't open to communication, then it ends up being a bust. It's kind of a rare case that it is a bust and you seem like a pretty reasonable person so I have confidence that your partner is also pretty reasonable. And don't worry about making what you say perfect. Even if you mess up in what you said, you (and your partner) should always be patient in working towards a mutual understanding.

Good communication is something that comes with time. A good base for a communication is almost more important than what is said and a good base comes down to being vulnerable, assertive, but also cooperative. She also shouldn't be the only one speaking to you about just her feelings, you also have to talk to her about yours. And this isn't as simple as hearing about someone's bad day; good communication is tested when you two have to talk about a difficult topic. One that you both may disagree on or something you are scared to hear the answer to. After you can get through some of those, then you can build space to talk about anything and truly build the trust needed to make a relationship flourish.

May 2, 2023

[questionedturkey]

im not here as a entity blog im here as to ask, what if meg got preg? trapper now father? what would happen do you think :0

I am absolutely positive that Evan Macmillan would rather jump off of a cliff than bring a child into the world.The thought of becoming his father and treating a child the way he was treated is literally his worse fear. The only way you’d ever get that man to be a father would be if it was an accident. And if it DID happen, he would be riddled with doubt and anxiety for years and be scared he would turn into his father again. 

But damn he’d love his kid and he’d think they were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life. (Sorry Meg, you’re in second place now). He would want a daughter because he’d be too scared of having a son because he knows what a toxic father son relationship can bring. He’d want something new so he’d feel better about not screwing up a kid like his father did to him. He’d honestly try though, and thats what counts. I think overall he’d be a good father. 

Now MEG isn’t to far off the mark from Evan. She’s never wanted kids for similar reasons that Evan doesnt. She doesnt want the chance to put her child through what she went through. She doesn’t think Evan would ever leave her and abandon her kid, but let’s be honest Evan can be unpredictable and driven by his emotions, so it’s just something she’d worry about in the back of her mind.

She wouldn’t have any natural motherly instincts but she would catch on pretty quick. She’s one of those moms that desperately wants to be fun and cant find an even ground between being a good authoritative figure and having fun with her kid. She gets better! It helps that Evan is very disciplined and can help a lot with setting boundaries because she honestly is just winging it. She would have no preference on a son or a daughter, she just wants someone who can go on jogs with her in the morning :)

generally in the realm I think the entity halts all bodily functions so it wouldn’t be possible for Meg to get pregnant, but god if it did happen?

That would be a very sad story with no happy endings. 

[trcshpark]

introduction.

- ̗̀   ––  ( tom holland, twenty one, cismale, he/him. )  hey, is that alan myers over there?  rumor has it,  they’re one of those townies.   they’ve lived in erith springs for their whole life  &  are currently working as a bookshop clerk.  i’ve heard they’re pretty wayward,  it’s just too bad they’re also dull-witted.  they remind me of worn down combat boots,  the sun setting over a hushed trailer park,  late night gas station food.   ̖́ -

it’s fran here again!  &  this time i’m bringing you my much less than friendly,  borderline recluse,  idiot of a boy!  i’ll leave some potential connections below for you to take a peek at  &  maybe spark some inspiration for plotting as well as go over the basics.  i’m always available through ims or discord for those who ask for it!  this is going to be significantly shorter than elijah’s.

so,  alan is something else.  a piece of work if you want to be nice about it.  he’s not the best of people  &  he’s never claimed to be.  he’s harsh,  rude,  very insensitive to how others are feeling  ( often times the case is, he doesn’t know or he doesn’t care )  &  can overall be somewhat of an asshole.  but that’s mostly because he’s definitely not a people person.  he enjoys his own space,  the number of friends he has is slim to none,  people generally know not to approach him.

&  what’s the perfect job for someone who’s not a people person,  you might ask? a book store clerk, duh.  alan is definitely not thrilled about his job,  but he’s been working there for so long that the job is the last thing he complains about.

he works for a family owned book store that’s renown for it’s collection of comic books  &  graphic novels. it’s about the only book store in erith springs you can find such an impressive collection.  so,  naturally he has to deal with ‘nerds’ all day long.  he doesn’t see what the big deal is--  he doesn’t like comics himself.  or so he claims.  it’s not like he’s been reading them since he was a kid  ( not that anyone knows of ).  he doesn’t like to be associated with something so childish  &  ‘stupid’  as he likes to put it.

if it wasn’t obvious already,  alan was definitely the type to bully kids  &  take their lunch money in high school.  he didn’t have many friends by choice,  but it never helped that people were either afraid of him or just didn’t like him as a person. he got into fights. a lot. the amount suspensions he had rivaled his actual attendance.

he has a temper on him--  he’s very easily irked,  angered or annoyed.  but that can often be surprising for those who don’t know him by reputation.  at work he holds a generally stoic expression,  monotone voice  &  nonchalant disposition.  but of course,  if he does appear otherwise--  it’s usually a look of annoyance,  or a simple warning for someone to back off  &  leave him be.  either way,  he never looks like someone you want to be friends with.

he’s not all bad.  he’s just someone who holds a lot of anger in him  &  isn’t always sure how to express himself.  on that note, though...  his one outlet is  &  always has been working out.  he spends a lot of time jogging around town or working out on the beach.  or hogging the arcade punching bag at the amusement park. he’s just a big idiot.

his life is all work, fighting  &  hookups.  honestly.  he doesn’t sleep around half as much as people claim he does,  his reputation definitely argues otherwise,  but he’s at least somewhat selective.  depending on the day.  he can be charming when he wants to be.

alan lives with his parents in a trailer park across town. it’s a good while away from the center of the town  &  the beach,  but he walks to work every day.  he doesn’t bring people home with him.  partly because he’s never had anyone to really bring home--  &  partly because he’s embarrassed of where he comes from,  even though it’s common knowledge where he lives.  it’s been the topic of many fights over the years.

when it comes to his looks, he’s a very ‘baggy ripped jeans, worn down combat boots, low side tank tops’ kind of person. his hair is messy, he’s almost always got a bruise or cut lip  &  does give the overall vibe of someone you don’t want to piss off.  he’s got a few tattoos here  &  there too!

basically,  he’s a punk idiot whose self worth fluctuates more than the weather.  he’s also not the biggest fan of the amount of attraction the town gets,  especially around summer,  so that never helps anything.  fun fact:  he also goes by junior.  mostly.

CHARACTER ARCHETYPES.

50% the rebel ––   the rebel is comfortable throwing caution to the wind, &  bucking the system,  if that means getting their point across.

the warrior.  warriors are brave  &  attractive people who are willing to put themselves on the line regardless of consequences.

the wild man.  wild men  &  wild women are the most outrageous of rebels.  these are the people who are in touch with the side of themselves that doesn’t want to settle or be forced into any box.

the criminal.  because rebels by their nature push at boundaries,  they can easily go too far  &  break the law.

the fighter.  sometimes a rebel becomes too aggressive in their various pursuits,  &  turns into a fighter who won’t back down  &  won’t stop arguing.

the don juan.  charming,  fun,  well-mannered,   &  sexually attentive,  don juans make the game of seduction fun for women who have their own rich  &  romantic fantasy lives as well as self-confidence.

32% the royal  ––   when the royal walks into a room,  they command attention.  they are the one in charge,  &  they enjoy reaping the rewards of their hard work.

the brat.   because they are used to pampering  &  don’t know how to do things for themselves,  royals can exhibit childish behavior in the form of tantrums  &  unreasonable demands.

the vampire.   like bram stoker’s count dracula,  who fed on the lifeblood of others while living in a regal manner,  royals can be a drain on those around them.

the bully.   when it becomes so easy to take advantage of one’s position, it takes a certain amount of discipline to fight the urge to debase the reputation of self  &  family.

the destroyer.   the destroyer manifests in vindictiveness  &  an unchecked fascination with wreaking enormous destruction on enemies.

18% the athlete  ––  the athlete's focus  &  drive are unparalleled.  staying healthy  &  being fit are paramount to them ( as for winning,  that doesn't hurt,  either ).

the outdoorsman.   outdoorsmen (  &  women  )  are physically fit,  environmentally conscious  &  adventurous.  they are resourceful,  unmaterialistic,  &  appreciative of nature’s quiet beauty.

the bully.  the danger with living too much in your body is that you can end up using it to bad ends as well as good.

the tomboy.   tomboys don’t play games.  they are straightforward,  honest  &  concerned with getting things done in the most direct way possible.  they are also refreshingly lacking in vanity,  &  bring a freshness  &  vigor to socially formal situations.

CONNECTIONS.

friends.  i know, i know.  he doesn’t have many,  but he does love the ones he has!

ex - almost.  someone junior got close enough to ( somehow or another, whether that was because they quickly became friends or it was a ‘no strings’ hookup that quickly got tangled )  that they almost began dating,  only for junior to get scared  &  completely drop them without warning.

childhood friends.  someone who junior was best friends with as a kid  &  drifted apart from over the years.  not for any particular reason other than growing up--  or maybe not.

hookups.  pretty self explanatory!  they can be current,  old or in the making.

crushes.  unrequited from either side or completely mutual!  getting junior to admit he has feelings for someone is a long road,  but it’s not without a few pit stops along the way.  there’d be banter between the two as a result of it!  especially if someone has a crush on him  &  are infuriated because--  him, really?  of all people?  i have to like him?

[gg-astrology]

What do you suggest for those who are beginners in astrology? Like how can they improve their learnings more?

Hey there!! 💞💞💞💞 Aaah what a great question!! 💞💞 Thanks so much for asking and giving me opportunity to talk about it!!!! 💞💞This can probably apply to ppl who aren’t beginner-beginner too?? 💞💞It might be good for?? content creators?? as well?? Maybe?? 💞💞

Tips for learning/progressing into astro (maybe??) 🌟

Check the ‘astro asks masterlist’ for stuff on jus… learning astro?? this also for astro, but more/extended??? something you might wanna hear if you’ve been feeling down/demotivated lately or jus need a lil pick me up/kick in the bum – for general stuff, community, things we can do/things we should guard, etc 💞

🚫long post 🚫

Keep an open mind? 💞 It’s easy to get swept up in something/join a set of mentality/believe it’s right because it’s there and people believe it or you have experience™️ that ‘justify’ the thing (‘its what i see so it’s what i believe/know’) Do your research, don’t categorize/group things together, learn to dissect and differentiate. Try not to be prejudice/keep an open heart and mind (it’s not that hard to do, you just gotta ‘check’ yourself for it)  💞💞

What you’re exposed to influences your take on subjects/topics, so be discerning and critical that you aren’t grouping things together or taking it as it is. Learning isn’t just about?? our senses right?? So combine it together (balance it out) and try not to close your opinion/guard yourself up alright (mind v senses v heart v doing stuff v learning things and retaining knowledge)? 💞  

There’ll be interpretation that connects with you and those you just ‘take’ as ‘I don’t get it but it seems right’ – make sure to find out why you don’t get it. It’s a hint that there’s a reasoning/way to explain it that rings closer to you. You might be a person who understands certain things explained a certain way, you might not. 

Figure out a way to resonate with the hypothesis, because then you understand it and you’re on top of how to interpret it. 

If someone proposes a limitation or different interpretation for it, you can adjust and learn how to incorporate it into your understanding better as well (because you get it, you understand it. It’s personal to you now – we have 12 signs in our chart it’s just a matter of connecting that knowledge together and knowing what it means as well) 💞

Find your own way of saying what you mean. Nothing is stagnant as it seems, it’s always like a little buoy in the middle of the sea when it comes to certain subject make sure to express that out and measure where you are on that sea-level as well. 

Support others, or at least try not to be a dick to them over things 💞 This is also in-line with reaching out to others and not trying to go through shit alone 💞 How does this relate to learning astro? We might not think we need people but wow does it help a hell lot (and also we do need people?? that’s a– thing?? astrology vs astronomy)💞

Have a good connective system, mutuals, friends. Be open to people and treat others the way you want to be treated 💞 Have someone to support you, catch you out on your shit or help you re-think/brainstorm the way you handle or react to stuff (buddy-system it if you can) 💞 

Knowing that someone can give you a second glimpse, double-check and wishes well for you/is in your corner helps tremendously even though logically we might not ‘need it’ (if you don’t want a ‘study buddy’ or ‘group study’ then that’s perfectly ok??💞💞 jus make sure you have someone supportive of you and your interests, people who won’t tear you down if you manifest yourself?? 

Reach out to others, it helps. But don’t use them for resource?? that’s just– a shitty thing to do with people if you don’t want to have a genuine interaction with them.💞

You’d be surprised at how many people we might hold dear might tear you down?? Don’t wanna scare you so you can skip if you want. But whether they do it consciously or not, make sure to find and genuinely appreciate the things you’re doing, the way you work/think. 

If you’re the person who others appreciate the way you work/think/what you’re doing— make sure you aren’t tearing others down. This is a thing?? Whether you’re doing it unconsciously or if you start going  ‘maybe I can do this better than them, maybe I can grow/get more appreciated’ — don’t. It’s that kind of egoistical arrogance that’s going to hurt others/your friend. 

You’re not supporting, you’re using them. Even if you think you’re bubbling well on your own/minding your own business (there’s a time/place for that)– it’s still a community of people you’re influencing. 

Try to be socially responsible, it’s not that bad and it is something you’d rather be safe than sorry about y know (being well-informed socially and using that for the better?)💞

Learn how to appreciate and support, how to let people thrive. Learn how to ‘check’ yourself and stop acting out of your own fears/lashing out onto others as well. Most of the time it’s your own experience (or insecurities) that’s making you push others down like that. You’re going to lose more friends and opportunity if you keep doing it– so make sure to get some motivation, some support (if you need that), use your voice in the community well as well. 

Brings us back to the point earlier: treat others the way you treat yourself, if others treat you with appreciation and compliment – give the same energy back?? 💞 Learning astro also depends on the community too right? So how do you want to be treated within the community/how do you treat the community? 

It’s not just knowledge, it’s also self-growth. If we want to have self-love/care/help/growth, we gotta learn how to act harmoniously with others as well. Nothing ‘self’ related is ever truly done with just ourselves, it’s how we invest, how we treat others and how others treat us (keep trying even if you fall, keep trying. We got trump but we’re still trying, right? Stop giving up hope.)  

Learn how to navigate it, instead of trying to fight it (putting the self first or others first//imbalance) Act with consciousness, the more you’re aware of how you behave/react the more you can learn how to be emotionally intelligent and socially active as well 💞

Your best resources are the people around you as well, sometimes it’s not just books or what you read online. How people conduct, react, how they insert themselves into the narrative/your life will influence what you think about them and how they think about you. 

Try to realize that we are bias, because we’re essentially human. Even when we look at things ‘detached from the ego’/well-reasoned we’re still human. No matter how unbiased/knowledgeable we think/know we are, we can’t escape the inevitable nature of our species. So the most we can do is try to keep it together ok and try to be considerate/nice (learn to let others love you/love others, is sometimes harder than learning how to ‘love yourself’)💞

If you’re more of the traditional astrologer type (heavy learning and theory, history, really fun and exciting!) — people are appreciative of things, old or new, it never hurts to keep an open-mind about stuff 💞 

Some might not even realize it’s an option, and while people might be (everyone) ‘well thats our/their fault they should’ve researched’ – it’s good to consider that sometimes our modern day life doesn’t always open certain doors up to us all at the same time (we all learn different things at a different time/place in our lives) – so make room for yourself to be curious and to grow, don’t stay stagnant in what you already know and is trying to ‘perfect’ (bc perfection is always improved, more and more as we gain more time/age/perspective as well)💞  

Theres always room to grow, there’s always room to learn more. But realizing that you’re over-stepping boundaries and making other people uncomfortable with your interpretation is also a thing.It’s?? something we should consider 💞 

Just try to be considerate of others, and be aware of how much you insert/hold yourself back, how you conduct yourself and what your influence does to others as well 💞 Have people you talk to, who can lift you up and encourage you because you deserve it (make sure they’re ok with that too and try not to pile it onto one person ok?) 💞

Don’t stop trying 💞

Low-key that’s kinda like how we behave with politics? Either we ‘dont care either way’ (which is shit for the community/direction we’re going), cares only for the self/personal gain (cough *the 1%* cough), is well-informed and feels shitty about the situation we’re in right now (depressed, suffering, either protesting or lies in bed thinking about giving up) or is just… y know, HOPEFUL but also angry and wanting to be proud of our community and ourselves (prosper/thrive stuff like that) 💞💞

Try to be socially conscious, if you’re down/drained, look out for your happiness/your own health first (pls care for your own health/well-being) 💞 For me, finding a buddy or supportive mutual works. I can’t invest time into everybody but those who I have genuine connections with, I try to keep up as much as tumblr messaging app would tell me I have a notification (it doesn’t sometimes) 💞💞

Tips maybe more specific for beginners/intermediate?? 💞

(might be more relevant? But I’m not sure what type of beginner we are because there’s– a few? But this is the main bulk so maybe give this a read even if you’re not a beginner too) 

Premise: Everything below this is after the assumption that we allread up stuff, study about the subject, research things already and is starting somewhere/in the process of starting (already interested in astro) 

*I wasn’t thinking about complete COMPLETE beginner who mayhaps might’ve just discovered there’s things beyond the sun-sign (for those that are💞: im sorry ;; I think there’s a post for that too somewhere on my blog maybe skdjnk 💞)  

So for those who are beginner astro: Practice 💞Can’t emphasize this enough 💞 We might be self-conscious about our skills, but your biggest critic is yourself and your ego/mood (or lack of it)? 💞Just try practicing it 💞 

Theoretical knowledge might get you somewhere, but we also need to know how to apply them 💞 Try to figure out how to read/interpret as you go 💞Sometimes people are like ‘uh oh, red flag. You can’t just let any lunatics out there.’ So this is out of the assumptions that you’ve been a very very theory based person (read a lot of stuff) but haven’t got the time/energy/motivation to start yet. 

Balance comes from steady progress in both, so if you dove head deep into doing something. Do your research. If you did research, start working. This is a lab exercise and the more you waste time the more you don’t know how to time-manage yourself into doing both (theory and practical). 

We improve when we learn how we work/what we need to work on along the way, but making sure you have substance in both is good for you (so you don’t fuck up the lab exercise and waste your time) 💞

Test yourself and your knowledge? 💞 Find your niche, what you’re interested in 💞 What you might want to figure out or contribute with? 💞 Having a sense of purpose, or having a friend help you check you or hype you up (support you) really helps with motivation 💞 

Dont be afraid to ask for encouragement, don’t be too prideful or overthink it too much, we all need that especially when we’re starting out – it can be lonely on your own and even if you can handle it, try to not put that weight on yourself?💞 

Jus reach out for people who can give you the time/energy, and help support each other up 💞 It’s much better than being by yourself or feeling shitty about what you do alone. Can’t stress this enough, what’s the point of having a community if you’re going to use them for resources but feels so alienated/alone and like things are passing you by (not feeling knowledgeable enough/forgetting stuff because you don’t hold yourself accountable for applying/putting it out there somewhere so you can ‘practice’ it really) 

It also helps with retaining knowledge and intuition, realizing that the things we’re learning are not stagnant and neither should our learning interpretations/methods (we’re all learning as we go so don’t feel bad about contributing or look down on yourself/your knowledge ok?)💞 

You learn more if you follow the guides but use that as a jumping board, things are fluid but there are a few certain rules 💞 Don’t feel intimidated by them, find what interests you and research it because you want to (not because you need to in order to be have ‘complete/fair knowledge’ on the subject) 💞 

Figure out a way that’s uniquely you, that you can find purpose to and explain it in your own way 💞 We’re talking about the same thing, we’re just doing it in a different way/choosing different parts of the same topic to talk about with each other (sharing is caring, but remember to like..diary entry it out? Sometimes if you push something onto others it can be like uuuuuuh?? cause no one really interprets the same way as each other) 💞💞  

Remember that where-ever you are on the spectrum (beginner, intermediate, whatever) it’s not like– a ‘conclusive’ subject. It’s not like we can know all there is to know about something and that’s the be all end all in it. 

That’s why we practice as we go, because we always think: 

‘If I know a little bit more/feel more stable with my knowledge then I can start interpreting’ — there’s no ‘end’ to the knowledge, you keep learning as you go 💞

What matters is you sharpen yourself and narrow it down to what matters to you, that you yourself progress and grow as an astrologer/person 💞Try practicing as you go otherwise you’ll feel self-conscious about yourself/your own ability forever?? 💞💞💞 

Most of the time, we only know what we perceive/interpret 💞While we can look at others and be like ‘wow! fantastic’ at what they do, that doesn’t discredit how you interpret or what you want to talk about💞  

Share, contribute, we’re all talking about the same thing just different parts of it 💞Your voice matters, and what you bring to the table even if you think you’re repetitive or being redundant it matters 💞

No one is essentially the ‘boss’ of a subject 💞We’re so scared of criticism when we first begin, even constructive ones are feared too 💞 

Closing ourselves down emotionally or detaching the ego from your work doesn’t always help (esp in term of compassion/what you want to produce/contribute or help others with) – learning how to be your own cheerleader does (*be aware of your social influence, how you affect others and what you say as well tho!) 💞

Learning how to grow, have a support system, how to accept emotional hurt instead of deny it or glide past it helps 💞 ‘it aint that deep’ but it is personal and healing to some people, it can be an emotional thing 💞 

Don’t dismiss that, learn how to feel comfortable with what you do, check that the way you come across or the way you want the information to contribute is actually having an impact you want 💞

Think of it as growing, editing and manifesting yourself to be the best person? 💞 You’re essentially trying to discover you or have a voice 💞 Whether its in the community or on the subject, learning how you come across on the topic — receiving compliments, criticism– letting it help you and take what you need from it, 💞 Let it help you grow and experience things, discover and learn more about yourself as you do 💞

It’s more than just the subject right? 💞It’s the experience of learning and progressing with your knowledge/ability as well, what it takes to get comfortable/stable enough and to be efficient with it 💞

It’s figuring yourself out 💞 Like learning art, you figure out your own style what you want to do and you have different characteristics from each other 💞 It’s a constant learning progress 💞 So it’s not like, a completely different learning process than art (you can see your progress, no one stays the same when you practice– you’re not the same ‘artist’ or create the same ‘art style’ that you have when you started, with astrology it’s a similar thing– not completely the same but similar)

For beginners, knowing that you yourself is holding you back from doing stuff, starting stuff or criticizing yourself because you’re scared others going to criticize you (and beat down your confidence/happiness/ego) is something we’re going to have to tackle 💞Self-imposed fear, constant watching our back or just being afraid to share (procrastination/putting it off until later) is what’s stopping you the most. 💞 

Do something right now, post something. Even if it’s small. It’s a start and it makes a huge difference (what you envision for yourself, how you want to contribute/manifest, what kind of person you want to be– if you’re more of the type to think about your ‘purpose’ as well)

Getting into the habit of doing something because it feels like a relief, like you’re expressing your own knowledge. Like you have more voice or is just confidence in something. Helps. 💞

Even if no one sees it (which is probably what all beginners are praying for skdjn) even if someone yells at you (fear conjured by our own anxiety and wariness of the cancel culture??) you find your own footing and you know your own path. You figure out what you want to do from there because you know you and you know how to write stuff for yourself, alright? 💞

I think for complete beginners getting over this initial fear is hard, like the hardest thing because we might feel we’re essentially ‘putting ourselves out/up there for criticism’ – it’s easy to be cynical/closed-off, it’s harder to be confident/content with ourselves. Learning how to do this for you, to say it with your own voice. The astro community is vast, if your voice isn’t someone’s cuppa tea then they’ll leave? If they like your opinion/want to hear you clarify more, they’ll ask? 💞 

Treat others the way you want to be treated?? 💞 That’s the best advice I can give you if you don’t want to deal with what you fear?? How you talk about stuff, what you say and what kind of people you’re talking about matters. If you talk more shit than you actually give back, then you’re going to attract more shit to you as well? It’s in how we conduct ourselves and how we figure us out (*for how to help ourselves, sometimes shit happens and sometimes it’s hard to get over a past experience or let prejudice color our lens)   💞

We grow and learn, and sometimes we’re embarrassed by our past behaviors– so make sure you’re looking out for your future self as well 💞

Sometimes our fears and ‘ill do it later’ is bigger than our happiness and actual knowledge. You undermine yourself, and your own mind and paranoia is sometimes your biggest foe 💞 

Who’s the one who double checks everything they write? Who’s the one who doesn’t carelessly make up a post because they don’t like getting backlash? It’s you. You’re your biggest editor but also your biggest push back, learn how to be spontaneous and do things now 💞

Mmmm another thing that might be hard for beginners, but will help them a lot is ‘jumping off’ things (applying knowledge). People like interesting posts right? We like things that are beyond the basics, because we know the basics. That’s the guidelines, and sometimes we look back and see interesting posts there too! 💞

But the point is, you gotta learn how to find your own voice and make posts that personally interests you? 💞 Posts that makes you invested, that makes you feel personal. Posts that gets you to self-express your voice 💞 

Applying knowledge isn’t hard, you can do astro-notes for yourself and that’s a pretty efficient and productive start already? 💞 Finding your own methods or what kind of things you want to talk/post about helps too 💞 

Doing things for yourself generally helps alot because it’s there to add to your own voice, your own observation and knowledge in something beyond just theoretical. It’s also there to share and contribute with others 💞 The more you notice, the more you learn how to apply 💞

More and more, you learn how to grasps not working so point by point (I’m learning this and then I’ll go learn that) but how to weave them together and how they differentiate? 💞 That’s where you wanna be at right? Where you can talk about some astro philosophy and re-work how you think/interpretate/learn stuff and share that with others as well 💞

Anyways, those are just things that might help. To keep in mind? Just do stuff. Like do things. That’s how you find support and learn about yourself. You’re never not going to like ‘you’ when you start doing something (like going to a dance class for the first time, trying out something you like. You might be nervous/hyper-aware but you come out knowing where you stand with the idea of it continuing)– you’re going to look at yourself and want to edit more and more. So make sure you start, so you can actually do something with it too! 💞 

ALSO TO NOTE: Try not to be prejudice. This is an icky subject especially with serious traumas, victims who has their own mind-prison (*is in therapy or need it to help with past experiences) we’re all biased, we said that. For those who are in therapy (experiences that has happened in the past) – work on you, we’re here for you. Take your time, it’s good to even be aware of certain trigger points. Please take care of yourself first 💞

For those who are?? less serious?? honestly it’s jus a fun thing like you can joke but you can also be serious just– if you come to me I’m always gonna be like ‘hey its ok’ and?? jus?? talk about their traits and stuff?? 💞💞

That’s some?? Tips for beginners I think?? 💞💞 I hope it’s useful?? 💞💞💞

[reds-revenge]

im feeling evil so ALL THE LOCATION ASKS

>:( probably Josie anon, do you know how many times I gotta switch pages now? I’m kidding you’re cool mobile just sucks.

*deep breath* here we go

Amsterdam: yeah, I think so. I’ve always been the weird one, usually in a nice way but I’m still the weird one. I kinda sound like a robot when I’m tired, or trying to accomplish something, and I guess that’s not how all people think?? Anyway.

Athens: ahaha I’m not a perfectionist, I’m the PLATONIC IDEAL OF A PERFECTIONIST. Listen okay I will sink as much time as I need to get it perfect, that’s happening less with the depression bc I just can’t get it up to my standard, I’m trying to make this a Growing Opportunity and learn to set Attainable Goals, but it usually ends with me panicking instead. Ah well

Belgrade: my mother had a loooong list of names and my dad tried to mock them all, they only kept ones that you couldn’t really make weird nicknames for, one of my friends took that as a challenge and called me Kira the Mirra (like mirror) for a year, it was interesting

mom called my kiramodo dragon bc of some noise I made when I was a baby. I thought my name was baby for a while bc they called me Baby Kira my Deara. Then I decided I wasn’t a baby and dubbed myself Kira my Deara the Kid.

Berlin: well for that I’d have to KNOW what I what. I can usually do whatever, but I would really like is absolute certainty about things like do I exist, am I hurting people by existing, etc. and that’s just not something we get in this life. It’s :) so :) fun :) :) :)

Bratislava: it doesn’t have a firm genre, there’s a lot of oddly philosophical themes for something that’s mostly sci fi/ comedy, but there’s also bildungsroman elements bc life amiright, and what’s science besides a mystery?

The protagonist is Done™ with everyone including herself, there’s cephalopods.

Brussels: I’m not fluent in all the languages I borrow from but yeah I do this a lot, I’m a language nerd. I did it more often when I was younger and still liked learning Latin.

Bucharest: NOT ON PURPOSE OKAY, WE’D KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE FIVE SO ALMOST TEN YEARS AT THE TIME, I THOUGHT OF HIM AS MY BROTHER, WHY THE FUCK IS HE WRITING EMO STORIES ABOUT KISSING ME WE WERE S I B L I N G S.

I don’t think of him as family anymore but not bc of the ~*drama*~, I learned some Things and grew Wise. (Well, wisER)

Budapest: maybe, I was five, my love was unrequited. We ended up being friends bc in such a small class whatcha gonna do? We didn’t talk about that fiasco for ten years, turns out that whole declaring my love to the class thing was pretty awkward for him. Whoops.

Copenhagen: outside of old, distant relatives, no. I haven’t actually kissed someone romantically before at all, and I don’t have a desire to. I’m not saying I wouldn’t ever someday, I just haven’t sought that kinda thing out.

Dublin: between being a minor and being an obsessive rule follower, that hasn’t happened. I doubt I ever will, losing even the slightest bit of control over myself terrifies me

Helsinki: now this is interesting. I’m guessing this is referring to romantic love, but it doesn’t SAY that.

Look, I wanna be a scientist. Like really really wanna be a scientist, always have, always will. This sounds cliche but I feel like I was made for the sciences, I really do.

but I gotta go with love. Not romantic necessarily, just in general. And this isn’t a “well I’d better choose the Virtuous thing.” Like, I feel made for science, but science doesn’t mean anything if you’re not using it for something. Neither does art for that matter. Idk, but without love–for my family, my friends, for squids, for God–i just don’t see the point of this whole life thing. So yeah, I’m going with love

Kiev: YES AND FRANKLY I’D CHOOSE THE KNIFE EVERY TIME. I’m not gonna tell you EVERYTHING EVER THAT WAS SAID TO ME bc that would take way too long but yes, yes I have even when they weren’t trying to be knife words

Lisbon: I’m honestly not sure, like I like Hamilton’s America but I hate Trump’s, also I’m really drawn to the British isles and honestly France and Polynesia and India and Russia are all cool, so like I don’t feel like I belong but I might not belong anywhere if that makes sense? Idk tbh

Ljubljana: not really, I sound like my mother over the phone and if you look at baby pictures without the hair showing Greta and I get mixed up (not by family by friends) I have kind of distinctive hair, so.

London: Google says this is thinking vs feeling basically so I gotta go sense (thinking)

Luxembourg: I REGRET EVERYTHING and I often regret things deeply, like really stupid things bc of ~*damaging theology*~ but now mostly because ~*Ocd*~ (I think idk I guess maybe knocking that board over really will send me to hell, I’ve been spinning over this for YEARS)

Madrid: ALL THE TALENTS but maybe speaking fluent French, juggling, and playing guitar if you want some specifics

Moscow: No. I mean when else would I do all the thinking? Not during the day when I’m half asleep, surely.

Nicosia: whenever I’m nervous or exhausted which is most of the time now tbh

Oslo: HAhahahahaha this is hilarious. I’d like absolute 100% certainty that everything is 100% okay, always has been, and always will be. I don’t know what okay even is here but I know that 100% certainty does not exist and also everything probably isn’t okay, and EVEN IF I KNEW THIS I would still be nervous for some hellish reason, I don’t think I’ll ever actually have peace of mind :/

Paris: I mean yeah, but not more afraid than I am of most things. I guess I’m more scared I’d mess it up somehow

Podgorica: HELL YEAH. I mean, I’m curious about death and franklyitwouldntbeterribleifigothitbyasnipertomorrow @ the government, but setting that aside I’ve been raised on stories of people dying, dying for good or evil but for what they believe and I was kinda scared when I was little that I’d chicken out and surrender to the fascist government or whatever but I won’t, I’ll just do the thing, follow the rule same as any other. And even if my beliefs are wrong we’re all gonna die anyway, so

Prague: not really, no. I’ve got a good family, a good church for once, I’m heading to running start next year to study what I want, I don’t really have something to be jealous of.

I mean I’d like my brain to work but I’m not *jealous* of people who’s brains do the thing, I’m happy for them I just would like to be like that too

Reykjavik: A TINY FLOATING ISLAND COUNTRY I COULD PARK WHERE I WANTED I MEAN I DOUBT I’M GONNA MOVE PERMANENTLY OUT OF AMERICA BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS HARD AND MY FAMILY’S HERE BUT I DON’T LIKE ABSOLUTE RULES WHERE I DON’T NEED THEM

Riga: I would take as many selfies as I had to to get one I only kinda hate, I would post that one. (Yeah this is specific but I’m waiting for the technicality police over here, I totally would tho I don’t really care)

Rome: yeah but not romantically. I mean this is gonna sound weird I’m sorry but once in a blue moon I get an overwhelming sense of God and His love for me, that sounds cheesy or fake or something but I’m too tired to not be painfully honest rn

Sarajevo: TO INFINITY AND BEYOND. I wouldn’t do whatever they asked me to, I’m not gonna sign my mind over bc they’re human too and not always right and maybe the stakes are high etc, but if they need something I'ma do the thing at any cost of time, resources, sanity, etc. to myself I’ve got no boundaries here

Skopje: I honestly don’t know?? I’ve been called a lot of sweet things by a lot of sweet people and I remember EVERY SINGLE ONE and honestly I don’t think I could choose one, they’re all sweet in different ways, you know?

Sofia: not in a physical way, women are shockingly treated differently from men in Puritainville, but most people were fine with me in general if I didn’t touch certain buttons. Everyone had different buttons but never said what they were until whoops! It was fun :)

Mental health is also a super fun topic in Puritainville if you were wondering, someone told my mom when I first pulled out of school that I didn’t need a doctor, I just needed a book on Grace, because clearly my theology was why I couldn’t talk and slept fifteen hours a day

Also being Anglican was interesting, I tried explaining the whole icon thing and Lent and via media but it fell on deaf ears

I dunno if this is prejudice related or not but some guy called me a Pharisee when I was seven bc I told him off for making it impossible for me to follow the rules, he was trying to make us scared to teach us about God’s grace, you can imagine how well tiny Kira handled that

wow okay well I guess that’s a yes then

Stockholm: UNFORTUNATELY

In middle school everyone wrote stories about their thinly disguised classmates, and then in ninth grade creepy mcbadideas wrote stories about me saving him from his life basically and then him saving me from depression with a kiss, it was weird

and then Mom has used the whole family for story ideas

Tallinn: I can’t recall a rumour I’ve heard about myself, I’m very open. There were certainly rumors about me being ~*liberal*~ but that was actually true so idk.

I’d like to hear some though, I’m so out there already it’s gotta be entertaining

Tirana: no??? I’m honestly not sure what sexy is but everyone else seems to? Mom swears boys look at me–she’s usually telling me how not to die at a bus stop when this comes up– but I don’t notice anything

Valletta: thankfully no, at least not a big one. The worst I’ve injured myself was when I kinda timed a jump over a brick wall wrong and took out a chunk of my shin.

Vienna: I gave this one A LOT OF THOUGHT but I don’t think there’s like one song that totally captures my life, I definitely identify with songs but there’s not one single song in part because I’m still trying to process my life, you know? Fit things into the correct slots. Until I do that–if that’s even possible–i won’t have just one song. Sorry!!

Vilnius: yeah, why not? If it’s not like a permanent thing bc I have issues with permanency then it’d be cool, if only to get another point of reference for how things are done

Warsaw: i AM a depression lol. I thought two years was about as long as major depressive episodes lasted but I guess not, or maybe I was misdiagnosed idk

Zagreb: I’ve certainly given my TRUST to people I shouldn’t have, I’ve given my FRIENDSHIP to people I shouldn’t have, but I don’t think I’ve ever given someone my heart when I shouldn’t have.

Zurich: not at all. It’s a means to an end, you need it for college and food and stuff, but outside of that I really don’t care. I’ve been trying to figure out how we could restructure society without money and keep it fair and not suppress individuality and keep everyone taken care of it’s an interesting thought experimentTHERE I’M DONE I hope you appreciate that that took me a couple HOURS JOSIE I love you but WOW am I glad that’s over