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betawooper · 4 years ago

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rating every demon fight in kny bc i can

non-biased, completely objective rating (more or less) of every significant demon fight in kny based on a number of factors, including:

cleverness of fighting tactics

placement in the story’s timeline

integration of character backstories

cohesive themes between characters

etc

by non-biased and objective i mean i’m not skewing the rating if a death felt fair or whatever

everything past where the anime ended will be under a read more so anime onlys who havent watched mugen train, youre safe lol

oh and i reread the manga like 20+ times (reread the latter arcs at least 40 times, haha hyperfixations am i right?) so be rest assured im not pulling these ratings out of my ass

also ill randomly be bolding certain phrases just to improve readability

anyways let’s gooooo

VS NEZUKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Nezuko. Tanjirou is fending her off by putting the axe handle in her mouth, keeping her from eating him. End Image Description.]

10/10

i like how realistic it is, because yeah tanjirou would react the way to he did with zero fighting skills against a demon

very clear why tanjirou is fighting nezuko and shows a bit of worldbuilding on how normal people react to their family becoming demons

always nice to see worldbuilding

giyuu is the perfect example of a seasoned demon slayer who’s good at his job, and he juxtaposes tanjirou very well in that aspect

my only complaint is not directly in this fight itself but how nezuko is handled throughout the story as a whole

like bro, it is literally never explained why nezuko is different from demons

could have been easily explained if maybe her family’s ghosts like slapped her hand every time she wanted to eat a person but nope

she’s just built different lol

so yeah youll see future ratings get points docked off bc nezuko unlocks some secret power with no prior explanation other than she angy >:3

VS TEMPLE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a demon. The demon has a sharp-nailed hand over his neck and there are four text bubbles around him saying “But a wound like this... will heal in no time! See? The bleeding already stopped!” End Image Description.]

10/10

may be more forgettable compared to like rui but still good

tanjirou did exceptionally well in this fight and his ability to think on his feet is once again beautifully illustrated here (trapping this dude’s head against the tree trunk with the axe)

very clever

again, establishes more demon worldbuilding regarding regeneration and still being able to move without their head

and the demons burning in the sunlight thing since nezuko wasn’t able to show that

the ending where tanjirou hesitates to kill the demon also serves to show his sympathetic nature towards demons that will last throughout the entirety of the first 60-ish chapters

we’ll talk about what the hell happens to tanjirou after that

or not, it could honestly be its own post

VS HAND DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a many-handed demon. He has six hands around him, three of them covering his mouth while he chuckles, two of them grabbing his cheeks, and one holding on to the top of his head. There are two text bubbles saying “That’s how many of Urokodaki’s students I have eaten! I’ve decided to kill all of his students!” End Image Description.]

10/10

ooooh probably the first big fight against a demon in the series

oh yeah not doing the two random demons tanjirou one shot in a single blow bc eh

anyways hand demon’s pretty goddamn scary, considering the fact that this is the 5th demon or whatever tanjirou has had to face so far

very nice way to show us how much tanjirou’s innate intuition and all his other random abilities (sense of smell, hard forehead) can come together and help him decapitate this guy

i liked the mini history with urokodaki this dude had and why he had beef with our favorite mentor figure, it establishes that urokodaki was in fact a super good demon slayer and its cool to see that actually shown

i also liked that small moment of compassion tanjirou gave this demon, staying consistent with tanjirou’s established kindness

the demon’s sad tale with killing his own brother very much humanizes him when all the reader has seen up to this point is that this guy is a monster who eats people

sets up the theme of demons just being humans but being victims of circumstance that unfortunately doesn’t hold up as well in arcs past mugen train

VS SWAMP DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou fighting off three horned demons as they appear from below. There is a spiky text bubble saying “Three of them!!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not my most favorite fight but it still portrays everything alright and im not allowed to let my personal opinions mess with the rating so

i like how tanjirou mentioned the fact that he trained in conditions similar to the bog and explains how he pulled off the whirlpool form

using past experiences to aid him in the present, nice nice

tanjirou and nezuko dont quite work together very well but its yknow the first mission so ill chalk it up to simple inexperience

also the way the muzan curse thingie was hinted at here? fantastic way of showing that little bit of demon worldbuilding

...

oh god, it mentions nezuko being stronger than normal demons

ok its not a problem here per say since i can still suspend my disbelief, but later on it just becomes a glaring problem that gets worse over time

VS SUSAMARU AND YAHABA

[Image Description: Manga panels of Susamaru and Yahaba. The first one is a joyful Susamaru about to throw a temari ball. There is floating text saying “Is she one of Kibutsuji’s minions?!” The second image is an annoyed Yahaba, holding one of his eye-hands to cover himself. There are two text bubbles around him saying “My kimono got all dusty. Tch!” End Image Description.]

9/10

why dont these bitches have a good looking panel together dammit

anyways amazing entrance, the way yahaba used his hand eyes to track down tanjirou is really neat

the synergy yahaba and susamaru have is incredible, its awesome dude, they work extremely well together and it shows

tanjirou actually mixing his water breathing forms together is a god tier move and i absolutely love how he can show off his ability to think on his feet once again

establishing how yushiro’s bda works early on is really well done

establishing tamayo as a fugitive this early on is also super well done

not to get into spoiler territory but both these things pay off

how tamayo ended up defeating susamaru is literally awesome in so many ways

shows off both how smart she is by exploiting the muzan curse

and speaking of the muzan curse, we actually get to see what happens to demons who even say his name, back when it was hinted with the swamp demon

tamayo is amazing dude, and we get some real evidence of the horrible suffering demons go through if they even accidentally attempt to betray muzan :D

...

now heres what keeps this fight from being perfect

nezuko somehow grew stronger against susamaru’s temari

with no explanation

which could have been easily explained if tamayo was like “oh yeah the drug also boosts a demon’s strength temporarily”

but nope

god, i just dont like how gotouge handles nezuko’s power boosts throughout the series bc like i said before

no explanation is given anywhere

this is a huge issue, this isnt a pokemon game, you cant just kill demons and get exp at the end of every battle, level up, get some sweet stat bonuses and move on

(actually if gotouge established that this is how nezuko grew in power, than all my complaints about this would be gone, im not even joking)

anyways i get that nezuko is supposed to be “special” but thats too vague of a descriptor

how the hell is she special? ya gotta be more specific and stick with that explanation or that suspension of disbelief is going to disappear

VS TONGUE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a four-eyed demon with horns and a long tongue. He is crawling in an awkward position, one foot in front of his tilted head. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Heh, heh! I’ll slurpy slurp your brains out through you ear!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not much to say, showcases zenitsu’s true abilities really well

nicely done

VS HORNED DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a big, single-horned demon. There are three text bubbles saying “You dodged! You’re awfully lively for a human! It’ll be a treat to carve away your flesh!” End Image Description.]

10/10

would have ignored this fight if not for the fact we havent seen inosuke fight before

it definitely shows how very fast-paced and wild inosuke is

no complaints here lol

VS KYOGAI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kyogai, a demon with tsuzumi drums attached to his shoulders. There are four text bubbles around him saying “Why?! Why does everyone keep sneaking through my house? It’s so aggravating. It’s my prey! It’s my prey! Found in my territory!” End Image Description.]

10/10

establishes marechi blood pretty early on, once again expanding the worldbuilding of kny which is always cool

interesting terrain where it’s always shifting, tanjirou once again proves his ability to adapt really quickly by altering one of his forms to work with the turning room

(man, i wish the form mixing/form modification thing carried on throughout the rest of the story, but it really didnt which is just a shame)

the injuries tanjirou had prior to this mission actually affecting him was a nice touch

oh yeah, kyogai gives us more worldbuilding (which is always nice) regarding the 12 kizuki, and the aspect of him being cast out due to being weak shows a lot about muzan’s indifference towards his own demons if they arent strong

his backstory being a failed writer once again humanizes kyogai as a former human being and not just a monster

tanjirou shows his sympathy and compassion again by not stepping on his written work and complimenting his bda

well, tbh tanjirou’s actions kinda came out of nowhere but its a very minor thing and not enough to dock a point off, like it didnt affect the outcome of the fight that much if at all

(so if you see future battles where points are docked off for things not logically making sense, its bc whatever nonsensical concepts were integrated into the fight actually turned the tide of the battle and thats a big no-no)

very good fight and if you remember how kinda bad tanjirou was at accurately slicing the swamp demon, you can see that he’s already improved leaps and bounds

im so proud of him

VS MOTHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and the Mother Spider Demon. There is a light shining down from the top right on to the demon as Tanjirou slices her head off, rain following in his wake. There is floating text saying “Water Breathing: Fifth Form - Blessed Rain After the Drought!” around them. End Image Description.]

10/10

i mean does anyone disagree?

all the demon slayers getting their necks snapped by her threads was pretty horrific, probably more horrifying than anything else we have seen in the entire series if im gonna be honest

the death scene is probably the most beautiful one in the series

it reveals a water breathing form that we havent seen before thats the 5th form

as far as i know, no other breathing style has this merciful sword stroke so it shows a lot about the original water breather and what they might have been like

but enough about them, really the focus is on tanjirou bc this is like the best example by far of how kind and sympathetic he is to demons

dunno what else to say, its perfect

VS SON SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Agatsuma Zenitsu performing Thunder Breathing 1st Form: Sixfold on a spider-like demon. Zenitsu is crashing through the roof of a shed, and a zig-zag path is left behind. There are sound effects all over the panel, saying “Bam!” in large font. End Image Description.]

10/10

chose a picture without a huge spider on it bc i would like to not scare myself half to death

anyways extremely amazing fight, showcases zenitsu’s immense talent and skill, adapting the 1st form of thunder breathing to be a more versatile move

theres a moment where his backstory with kuwajima and kaigaku were revealed and his hidden insecurities are out in the open which is super nice and further develops a character weve only considered as comedic relief until now

the anime made the backstory scenes and the killing scene so much cooler

while there is no thematic connection between zenitsu and the demon, it really isnt necessary to keep this fight interesting

anyways another pretty much perfect fight

VS FATHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Inosuke slashing at the Father Spider Demon. The demon has blocked Tanjirou’s sword with his arm, and Inosuke is slamming both his blades down on the demon’s other hand. End Image Description.]

10/10

again, not my most favorite fight but it does everything right

i do have to say it was excellent how gotouge hyped up the father spider demon to be the big bad, only just so the plot twist later takes the readers by surprise

nicely done

VS DAUGHTER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kochou Shinobu and the Daughter Spider Demon. Shinobu’s back is seen and her haori looks like a butterfly’s wings keeping her afloat as she holds her stinger blade out to the side. The demon looks surprised as blood gushes from her side, arm, shoulder, chest, neck, and forehead. There is floating text on the panel, saying “Insect Breathing - Butterfly Dance - Caprice!” End Image Description.]

10/10

first time weve seen shinobu and her fighting style

what i love most about this is how much it shows her true character, appearing as a carefree and naive individual so she seems underwhelming

then bam, reveals exactly how dangerous and uncaring she is of demons, listing out the specific ways she would torture the daughter spider demon in grotesque detail

her using poison to take demons by surprise is also super clever and brings back the worldbuilding established way earlier about wisteria being poisonous to demons

amazing integration of that concept

anyways this fight really encapsulates who shinobu is as a character and thats why it gets a perfect score

VS RUI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Rui holding his hand out directly towards the viewer. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Give me your sister. If you hand her over quietly, I’ll spare your life.” End Image Description.]

8/10

not only is it a super scary fight but there is a deeper conflict between rui and tanjirou, what it means to be family

they are opposites in the sense that while tanjirou believes love is what makes a family, rui’s subconscious desperation for an unbreakable bond drives him to use fear to keep his “family” together

excellent juxtaposition of their values, and this is only further emphasized when rui expresses out loud what he was going to do to nezuko

i also like the symbolism regarding rui’s bda, how he uses threads or the “familial” bonds to cut up his fake family with it if they act out of turn or annoy him

super neat detail

alright what i dont like about this fight is nezuko (again)

mostly her unlocking her bda to turn the tide of the battle bc her mom was like “yo, wake up, your brother is going to be killed”

feels... forced ig

her bda in general is confusing and not consistent

man, i wish i could make a stronger argument for this but i do believe the problem stems from the fact that we dont ever know what nezuko is thinking, and what she thinks of tanjirou specifically

if she even cares for him as a sibling or if shes only going along with what her family is saying to her, things like that which would have been fixed if gotouge actually gave her thoughts some screen time

so the action feels pretty shallow

im also conflicted over tanjirou somehow remembering how dance of the fire god works

on one hand, hes using past information and applying it in the current setting so he doesnt die, which is understandable

but on the other hand, this was a teeny bit random?

i think what could have fixed this is if there was a scene in the beginning of the series where tanjirou was performing it himself, like practicing before he actually had to do it for new years

so that when the rui fight rolls around, it would have felt less like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

but yeah

overall super good fight, giyuu ending up having to kill rui instead of tanjirou was super good in that tanjirou didnt become a pillar this early in the series and to show how strong giyuu is

there are some odd bits regarding the ultimate “beheading” of rui using nezuko and tanjirous supposed bonds but it doesnt kill the fight entirely so it deserves its pretty high score

***under read more is manga-only fights so beware***

VS ENMU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Enmu holding his hand out directly at the viewer, with a mouth on the back of it. There is floating text to the top right of Enmu that says “Whispers of Forced Unconscious Hypnosis!” End Image Description.]

9/10

id say this fight is definitely overshadowed by the dream stuff prior to this but its pretty good in its own right

enmu fusing with the train was kinda confusing, like when was it established that demons could fuse with objects?

this worldbuilding element doesnt even appear again so yeah thats why it loses a point

how the kmbk gang end up defeating enmu is pretty sweet though, tanjirou using dance of the fire god to sever the neck bone was really nice and shows that him using the breathing style in the rui fight wasnt a one time thing

while kyojuro’s role was smaller in this part, the next part makes up for it so i cant complain

anyways ye, almost perfect score but its pretty good

VS AKAZA (MUGEN TRAIN)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza holding his hand out to the viewer’s left. There is a text bubble saying “Why don’t you become a demon?” End Image Description.]

10/10

this encounter is literally amazing okay?

after the crew kills the big bad, it seems like everything is fine

but plot twist, upper moon 3 appears out of nowhere

this is the first time the reader has seen an upper moon, let alone the 3rd/4th strongest demon in existence and the way gotouge handled this twist is fucking amazing

kyojuro’s death scene really shows just how human even the strongest pillars are against demons with incredible power

its just

amazing

VS OBI DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panels of the obi-like demon. The first image shows the obi hung in the air and strung over each other like decorations, with women-shaped patterns in its folds. The second image is Hashibira Inosuke fighting the Obi demon which now has lips and eyes. There is floating text in that panel saying “Breath of the Beast: Sixth Fang - Jagged Gnaw!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

on to red light district

this fight is admittedly super forgettable and not very interesting at least compared to the main fight with daki and gyutaro

but it wraps up the sub plot of the women and uzui’s wives going missing so it gets a perfect score for not messing that up

oh and it establishes the stretchy neck thing daki has going on which is very good

VS DAKI AND GYUTARO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Daki and Gyutaro. Daki is sitting on Gyutaro’s shoulders. There is a text bubble on the top right that says “The two of us are one, after all.” as well as floating text that reads “The power of the irregular siblings...!? Next issue lead color and the fight reaches its climax!!” End Image Description.]

8/10

love how this battle challenges tanjirou’s sympathy and kindness towards demons, just simply bc daki and gyutaro are horrible people

(too bad nothing came of this, which ill explain in the hantengu portion)

daki and gyutaro are very good villains and kept this fight super interesting from start to finish

uzui acting as a foil to gyutaro is nicely integrated and properly shown with how jealous gyutaro gets over seeing uzui’s perfect form and stature

tanjirou not only mixes forms but mixes breathing styles as well, which is so fucking awesome

(too bad it was only used like once throughout the entire series, its quite unfortunate)

the super high tension right after inosuke gets stabbed and tanjirou wakes up was expertly portrayed and handled, it felt like the kmbk gang and uzui were actually going to lose

super awesome

the tanjirou and gyutaro parallels are expertly portrayed, with how gyutaro taunts tanjirou over failing to protect his little sister, and the more visual thing where tanjirou imagined his own neck underneath his blade, that was super duper nice

the ending is extremely tense and emotionally gripping, gotouge did a really good job with that artistically too

the demon mark acquisition scene was surprisingly not frustrating, considering that it wasnt really explained prior to the battle

i do think it has to do with how it was explained later just exactly how they worked so its not just some random thing gotouge pulled out of their ass

so pretty good

what i dont like is nezuko and her full power demon form

first of all where the fuck did that come from? she just got angry and suddenly shes as powerful as an upper moon

how?

that doesnt make sense???

her extremely quick regeneration makes no sense

her ability to manipulate her blood’s properties makes no sense

and it doesnt even appear again so what was the point of that existing

none of this is even explained later which annoys me

that one part where tanjirou sings a lullaby to her to calm her down was alright ig but nezuko in this fight makes me extremely irritated and frustrated

just ugh

VS HANTENGU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Hantengu opening a shoji door. He is crawling inside, his hand in a gnarled, unnatural position. There is a text bubble saying “Eeeeeeek.” End Image Description.]

1/10

swordsmith village

this fight can go fuck itself /j

no but seriously it has so many problems that it would be shorter to name its redeeming qualities (which ill do later)

first off, the nezuko full power form thing again

i hate it so much with a passion

again, where did her ability to regenerate instantly even come from???? this is never explained, ever

and why did she cut herself on tanjirou’s sword anyway

did she somehow know that it was going to turn red if she burned it?

gotouge what the fuck, there is literally no reason why nezuko would do that and we cant even read her mind to see her thought process

gotouge hates nezuko, i swear

remember when i said uzui is meant to be a foil to gyutaro in the rld fight? its pretty obvious that those two are opposites, it was nicely done

... what the hell does mitsuri’s insecurities about strength have to do with whatever the fuck hantengu has going on (which is basically nothing)?

so no meaningful connection between mitsuri and hantengu

theres no meaningful connection between tanjirou and hantengu other than tanjirou getting pissed off for like the second time

also tanjirou’s thing with being kind and sympathetic to demons was entirely dropped at this point

but instead of it leading up to a corruption arc of some sorts, it just doesnt

like honestly if something actually came of that anger he exhibited in this arc and from red light district from this point forward story-wise, i would have counted this as an amazing writing decision

but it literally doesnt so who cares

(god, i really start to hate what happened to his character after this )

and genya’s revealed motivation also doesnt fit at all with hantengu’s thing, he’s not a foil, not a parallel, nothing, there is nothing

tanjirou being the catharsis for development for mitsuri and muichirou, who he has only talked to like twice

theres definitely a better way to handle those two’s developments without his help

like gotouge, you have a big cast of characters, use them lol

i want to kick hantengu in the face for being boring as fuck (at least his clones have cool looking weapons)

doesnt even have a proper backstory, just a single spread of him being blamed for shit as a human

like... thats it? this is upper moon 4 what the hell

theres no clever form mixing here at all (regarding tanjirou) which probably would have helped with foreshadowing the 13th form for dance of the fire god/sun breathing better

also gotouge established that as tanjirou’s thing and now he doesnt do that stuff anymore which sucks

oh hey remember when tanjirou actually learned how to do zenitsu’s speed boost thing?

if you didnt, i dont blame you bc it literally doesnt appear again, ever

you could argue that he adapted it into his “waltz flash” technique or whatever the fuck that is but the way it was integrated into this fight was like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

which is just a shame bc its meant to be representative of how tanjirou and zenitsu are good pals but the way it was utilized is forgettable as hell

i absolutely loathe the crimson blade concept as a whole and im mentioning this now bc its going to come into play why future instances where this goddamn thing comes up again causes points to be lost

its inconsistent as fuck ill tell you that

at least some yoriichi stuff appeared here and not shoved into the final battle with everything else

so the yoriichi stuff later didnt come out of absolute nowhere

genya and mitsuri’s unique fighting styles expand the kny worldbuilding just a little more which is always nice

tanjirou got a cool sword out of this which would have been cooler if him and yoriichi had a deeper connection that was actually explored

but we didnt get shit so whatever

other people getting demon marks being revealed here is also okay so that again, the final battle isnt filled with absolutely everyone getting their marks at once

demon marks have their own slew of problems but its not as bad as the fucking crimson sword shit

god i hate the crimson sword shit

...

dude this section needs a tldr, even i cant sit and read through my shit

TL;DR - this fight sucks and crimson swords are bullshit (more on this later)

VS GYOKKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Tokitou Muichirou and Gyokko. Muichirou is looking to the left while Gyokko is looking to the right, both with their backs to each other. There are mist clouds billowing in the foreground and background, as well as a slash mark going across Gyokko’s neck. End Image Description.]

7/10

this fight suffers from the same lack of cohesive themes through characters like the hantengu battle bc the antagonist is given nothing

but its better

we havent actually seen mui fight before so theres no consistencies that the reader has to keep track of for now

and there arent like 10 characters in the fight so this fight gets a lot of points just for being a lot more coherent

i do like that this fight shows just how good mui is that he can defeat an upper moon by himself

mui’s backstory is neat

gyokko’s bda is very interesting too

... thats pretty much it lol

ye, anyways not the best fight but not the worst fight either

VS KAIGAKU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kaigaku holding the hilt of his blade with one hand. There is two text bubbles around him, saying “...As usual, you’re still shabby. It’s been a while, Zenitsu.” End Image Description.]

9/10

alright on to final battle arc

theres some good fights and then some really sucky ones, but this one was pretty incredible and very emotionally charged

theres a clear reason why zenitsu and kaigaku are battling each other (kai betrayed the corps and inadvertantly caused the only parental figure in zenitsu’s life to die, and zenitsu is rightfully pissed off about that)

the visual yin-yang symbolism is awesome too

zenitsu winning due to using the 7th form he created himself (which i have reason to believe was inspired by tanjirou) was the perfect ending to the fight, really couldnt ask for anything better and is a perfect example of how much of an effect tanjirou has had on zenitsu

the 7th form is what tanjirou’s waltz flash should have been lol

what keeps this fight from being absolutely perfect is lack of development prior to this conflict

(since the final battle arc is basically a culmination of all the hinted developments through the series, im going to actually factor in how much and how well these conflicts were foreshadowed)

anyways if we had actually seen zenitsu, kaigaku, and kuwajima actually interacting with each other and showing how they were essentially a family (not just through flashbacks), it would have made zenitsu placing the responsibility of killing kai onto himself a lot more tragic

but like, apart from brief flashbacks where zenitsu actually met kaigaku off screen and that one thing all the way back in natagumo where both kuwajima and kai were introduced, thats pretty much it in terms of thunder family development

so yeah its underdeveloped for sure

also one random thought, i personally think zenitsu should have gotten his demon mark in this fight, it would have been cool to see

VS AKAZA (INFINITY FORTRESS)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza’s face. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Okay, let’s get started. It’s time for the feast.” There is also floating text saying “The inspection of the strong has begun...” as well as a simple box on the lower left, denoting its the end of chapter 147. End Image Description.]

6/10

oh god please dont hate me for this

ill list the good things first how about that

this conflict was foreshadowed perfectly in mugen train, you bet the readers were expecting a tanjirou vs akaza battle after the death of kyojuro and gotouge delivered

akaza’s power is shown extremely well with how many close calls tanjirou and giyuu had while fighting him

akaza eventually giving up on his own volition was really nice and fit into the context of the battle very very well, like sure tanjirou and giyuu wouldnt understand why he gave up but us readers do know

akaza is a really good character and a good villain

now notice how im only mentioning akaza and not giyuu or tanjirou in the good aspects

bc those two are eh

no form mixing at all from either tanjirou and giyuu

i know i said form mixing was kind of tanjirou’s thing but you’d think giyuu would have gotten more creative with his moves once akaza said that he was getting predictable

(well he said he “ran out of water breathing forms” but same thing)

so its kinda bland lol

speaking of giyuu, his whole thing with his insecurities of being weak wasnt handled well (it was sort of immediately brushed off in pillar training, and its unclear what part of his character arc he was in)

like sure him announcing that he’s going to protect tanjirou is cool but it feels like he was haphazardly dropped into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

isnt he supposed to be both their foils? that wasnt really explored that well in this fight and theres no deep meaning behind him even being here just analyzing what he did in it

he could have been handled better or even given more focus is what im saying

the anatta state came out of nowhere, im sorry okay? just bc inosuke like barely hinted at not being able to sense grandma hisa bc she had no fighting spirit and tanjurou magically taught his son how to achieve this state doesnt mean it was properly integrated into the fight

if the anatta state was actually explored prior to this battle, i would have given it a pass but it just feels like a cheap and poorly developed trick to get around akaza’s technique development (which is overpowered as fuck might i add)

gotouge should have just given akaza a plausible weakness to his technique development instead, especially since they dont use or even mention the anatta state after this

the transparent world shit makes no sense but ill elaborate on that in the koku battle analysis

oh and this thing doesnt affect the score but why wasnt there a “yoriichi visage overlapping” moment when tanjirou was fighting akaza? hes an upper moon, he should have gotten those visions but he didnt

for some reason

anyways this battle was alright and has good set up but the middle and end parts didnt hold up as well bc random concepts were thrown at us without prior explanation or development

VS DOUMA

[Image Description: Manga panel of Douma licking Shinobu’s butterfly pin. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Anyway, tonight is a good night. Such fine feasts keep showing up one after another.” End Image Description.]

9/10

damn, such an amazing fight

the build up to this was properly foreshadowed

shinobu finally showing her true anger after hiding it for so long is amazing

douma is a super interesting character and fantastic villain

shinobu showing off her true power and determination against douma was sooooo nice

shinobu’s poisonous body plan is so clever and so interesting

if i was to rate the shinobu part of the fight alone, it would have gotten a 10/10 no question

the reason why its knocked down a point is because of the kanao and inosuke part

dont get me wrong, the way kanao is able to hold her own against douma by herself is pretty cool, how shes meant to parallel douma with their similar struggles surrounding human emotions and demonstrate how she has grown as a person, how she regains the ability to cry

that shit is cool, inosuke also getting in touch with his emotions after learning what happened to his mom was super neat as well

however

bc this battle takes place in the final arc with everything else, there wasnt proper build up regarding many things, the kotoha reveal especially

so inosuke feels kinda forced into the kanao shinobu and douma conflict, similar to how giyuu felt forced into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

its quite unfortunate bc if the kotoha stuff was actually explored prior to the confrontation, this “forced” feeling would have disappeared

i know some people have suggested that the douma fight should have just been its own arc, and i very much agree, it would have certainly helped fix this problem regarding inosuke and kotoha

last random thought, i wish shinobu, kanao, and inosuke got their demon marks

VS KOKUSHIBOU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kokushibou looking directly at the viewer, holding the hilt of his blade as if he’s going to pull it out. There are text boxes around him saying “This... is Upper Moon One... He’s so different compared to the other Upper Moons. He looks so dignified and majestic.” The text boxes are narrated by Tokitou Muichirou. End Image Description.]

5/10

this fight is... mediocre

at least theres a more tangible connection between muichirou and kokushibou

even though that was handled kinda poorly

tbh there really was no point to revealing that mui is koku’s descendant like at all, it just had no significant bearing to the plot of the fight

sanemi’s backstory being here is... okay ig?

idk the whole shinazugawa conflict has fundamental problems that i just cant think of any other place to put it without changing the entirety of canon

the marechi blood concept coming back was nice though

genya is there

him getting his bda was cool and helped turn the tide of the battle in a satisfying way (before kicking the bucket but thats not the focus here)

gyomei is a hollow husk of a character who barely got anything at all

but his fighting style is extremely cool and conveys his immense power very well

oh and him and sanemi are amazing at working together, like better than giyuu and tanjirou, and better than kanao and inosuke

theyre that good yet pretty much nobody acknowledges it which is sad

koku himself is pretty interesting and pretty tragic, very nice villain

but everyone together?

gonna be honest but this is such a random collection of characters, there was basically no foreshadowing that these four were going to go up again kokushibou, they are not that connected very well

i know there was this one post that focused on the theme of family that was common in all 5 characters in the fight but its just not enough

it would have been more cohesive if gotouge emphasized gyomei, mui, sanemi, and genya being like different aspects of yoriichi coming together to kill kokushibou hundreds of years after yoriichi failed to kill him

lmao its not like the 4 of them defeated koku with the power of family or friendship, they just smacked him over and over with a flail, shot him with magical bullets, and stabbed a crimson sword into his abdomen

wouldnt have been too hard to switch over to koku’s pov and go “damn these bitches are like my stupid brother”

...

speaking of crimson swords

i fucking hate the crimson sword concept oh my god can i complain about it now? im gonna complain about it now

unlike demon marks, the crimson blades werent even given any proper conditions, you just hold the stupid thing hard enough and it somehow imbues it with magical properties with no logic behind those properties

what part of crimson swords completely destroys a demon’s body in an instant? even muzan didnt go through that process when he was almost killed by yoriichi so where in the goddamn fuck did it come from

it could be explained bc the sword was left in the same spot for a long time but this tactic doesnt even appear again in a meaningful way (didnt kill muzan when tanjirou and giyuu held the sword together) so what the fuck was the point of having this even exist

its so underdeveloped and confusing and i hate it

the transparent world stuff is also confusing as shit and its pretty much never explained how they work aside from the vague “close your mind” advice, like why did it exist, it did nothing to help the present day demon slayers

its just so... poorly integrated

yeah anyways this is around the same rating as the akaza fight but a little worse bc there wasnt that strong set up beforehand

VS KOKUSHIBOU (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panel of a bag getting ripped open, pieces of a wooden flute tumbling out. End Image Description.]

10/10

easily 10/10

this fight shows the tragedy of kokushibou giving in to his envy and hatred, when yoriichi cries over seeing his own family commit terrible attrocities against the people he wanted to protect

and yoriichi dies, now carrying the fact that he couldnt even save his own brother from the influence of muzan on his conscious forever

what a sad ending for yoriichi

and after koku angrily slashes apart yoriichi’s corpse, having him find and keep the flute he gave to him when they were kids to the present day gives him a small shred of humanity in the midst of his monstrous anger

VS NAKIME

[Image Description: Manga panels of Nakime. The first one shows a low quality version of her playing her biwa. The second one is a close up of her eye. There are spiky text bubbles saying “It’s Upper Rank... 4!” End Image Description.]

0/10

no nakime backstory

not even a goddamn fight

forgettable

useless

VS MUZAN

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kibutsuji Muzan in his white-haired, mouth-covered form. There are text bubbles around him saying “Not a single one was of use to me. I will crush the demon hunters tonight. I’ll massacre them all right now.” End Image Description.]

1/10

._.

i have many complaints but ill try my best to not make this another hantengu rant section lol

first off, obanai deserved better

im serious, this poor dude was forgotten until pretty much the end when we finally get a backstory out of him

and then he died

what a waste of a potentially amazing character

mitsuri getting taken out early was ehhh

pretty sure someone else made a post about her supposedly being extremely strong but she was nerfed in this battle which i agree with

literally none of the pillars work together very well, like remember how i praised sanemi and gyomei for being super coordinated? lmao that doesnt exist anymore

you could say this is caused by desperation though and you wouldnt be wrong, its just boring to sit through

that causes issues bc this now basically requires the crimson sword and transparent world concepts to be there to spice things up

but in this fight, they do nothing in the long run (except for tanjirou using the crimson sword at the very very end)

youve already heard me talk about why those two things are super shittily integrated and i cant be bothered repeating myself so moving on

kanao, inosuke, and zenitsu

they... exist? they didnt do much tbh, which i guess is the point but like, now its boring again

nezuko could have been used as a potential way to raise the stakes and make things interesting again (like “ah shit, muzan might actually be unkillable if he gets nezuko but its okay bc shes not here- oh fuck shes here this is not good”)

but nothing came of her running off except confirmation that she became human again so whatever

uzui and shinjuro are useless, why werent they at the fight?

like they could have followed nezuko and contributed to the battle even a little but they just didnt and now theres literally no point to them appearing in this arc at all

wasted potential

tanjirou

i wish him going absolutely apeshit had actual substance behind it, like it being a part of his character arc or something

i remember having this one theory that he had a corruption arc (due to dropping his kindness thing towards demons) and i wanted this to be true so badly

but it doesnt exist

not with how the series ended

god

the only thing that saves this fight from being complete trash is tamayo’s poison thing being amazingly executed

and the part where everyone got blasted away, losing limbs and shit, that made things a little more interesting again

but thats it

VS MUZAN (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kibutsuji Muzan, Tamayo, and Tsugikuni Yoriichi. The first one has Muzan and Tamayo, while the second one has Yoriichi pulling out his sword. There are text boxes saying “And the moment I met him, I understood that I was born into this world to defeat this man.” End Image Description.]

9/10

finally something good again

while short, that’s just the nature of all of yoriichi’s battles with demons

anyways pretty nice, theres a clear reason why this battle exists (shows the scenario that made the original breather get super close to defeating muzan in detail)

adding tamayo here was a nice touch

my only complaint is that it seemed extremely coincidental that yoriichi somehow developed a breathing style specifically countering muzan’s multiple organs without even knowing prior that he had all those brains and hearts floating around freely in his body

like thats kind of ridiculous, even for yoriichi whos supposed to be “blessed by the gods”

could just be me though

VS TANJIROU

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kamado Tanjirou in his demon form. The first image has his eyes closed. The second image has his eyes opened and the tumor on his face almost completely faded. There are text boxes around him saying “You will destroy the demon hunters in my stead.” End Image Description.]

1/10

hoo boy

ok first off, demon tanjirou lasted for 2 chapters

thats it

2 chapters

so thats already a problem

i am aware its meant to parallel the beginning of the series but also its ridiculous how completely vague and rushed this entire thing was

nezuko doesnt do shit through not just this battle but this entire arc which i already explained so not gonna go into it further

kanao magically having a demon cure on her made very little sense

the scene where tanjirou leaves muzan in purgatory is pretty but if you look at it in the context of everything else, its ambiguous and confusing

(if someone could explain it and see how it connects to the original theme of “demons just being victims of circumstance,” i would love to hear it)

actually you know what makes me so mad about this “fight” as a whole? there was so much potential to do more with this concept

and im not talking about him escaping and nezuko becoming a demon slayer roleswap au (even though its a pretty cool concept)

him becoming a demon could have been a metaphor for his lost kindness and sympathy towards demons halfway through the series

it could have been a punishment for letting his anger towards muzan cloud his judgement

it could have symbolized literally anything about him losing his humanity as he got stronger

but those three things are just scenarios from my head, they dont exist in this series just based off of what weve seen from these two chapters

its disappointing

the only thing keeping this from getting a 0 is the one part where inosuke couldnt chop off tanjirou’s head bc he cared about him too much

that at least shows inosuke had grown as a character

everything else is just meaningless and convoluted garbage and “convoluted” is not what you should be aiming for if this is supposed to be the ending of your series

IN SUMMARY

early kny is very good, later kny is questionable and the ending is just a mess of wasted potential and disappointment

i get why gotouge had to have the transparent world ability, crimson blade ability, and the demon marks appear before they all appeared on yoriichi but theyre all just so underdeveloped and terribly handled in the battles they are used, it makes me want to kick a wall

like lmao, i could literally think of so many ways they could have been properly integrated, hell, im even writing a whole goddamn rewrite using my ideas for these three things (link to that is in my pinned)

just, god

if you want to debate over these ratings, my ask box is open ig? idk

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #kny meta #demon slayer #my writing #long post

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yarrowleef · 4 years ago

Text

Read Darkness Within all in one sitting last night and then passed out so here are my scattered thoughts i wrote down as i read, (afterthoughts in parenthesis)

Darkness Within Spoilers, obv

UGH GOD THE SECOND HAND EMBARRESMENT FROM SQUIRREL FAKE FLIRTING WITH ASHFUR IT HURTS

Just remembered Sandynose died and got a small boost of happiness (will Hawkwing and Plumwillow ever be allowed to talk again now? I mean probly not b/c they aren’t protags and non-protags don’t rly have friends but I can hope. Sorry, Hawkwhing and Plumwillow’s short-lived friendship in Hawkwings Journey was one of the last times I felt something)

Ghost fleas lol

Mothwing: i’m rude now. (but more importantly, Fuck Tigerheartstar for forcing his son to be around the cat that hurt him so badly, like he HAS to know how upset everyone is regarding Shadowsight and his accidentally helping the imposter, and he’s making him be the sole one to tend to him??? There is NO REASON Puddleshine couldn’t have done it. You think Puddleshine is going to try and murder someone?? )

Oh no don't make this a traveling book, and a ROOTBRISTLE traveling book this is going to be insufferable

BACON AND EGGS

Lightleap Is Good (Hey didn’t Shadowsight have another sister? lets be real we all knew Pouncekit was going to end up as the forgettable 3rd one)

Bristlefrost’s crush continues to feel unnatural to me. It’s like she’s grasping at straws romanticizing the most generic things.....wow....I love how ur just so...bare minimum competent....being polite to the loner we came all this way to ask for help like any somewhat reasonable person would....How admirable...I love the way you just *clenches fist* exhibit some basic traits of loyalty and skill that literally every warrior has (I s2g I’m this close to head canon-ing Bristle as a clueless aromantic who doesn't understand what romance is actually suppose to feel like so she just looks at feelings of low-bar admiration and assumes “oh I guess this is that “romantic attraction” everyone’s always talking about? guess I must be in love???” because both her crushes have felt out of nowhere and like. Idk fake/forced sounding like she’s just telling me that that she’s In Love Now while I continue to not actually feel it at all from her end. I know it’s just that I hate the way Erin’s write female characters in love but this head-canon makes me laugh)

Got scared because I thought they were going to villainize Spotfur for not wanting kits for a minute, but also excited at the concept of maybe exploring a female character that doesn’t want to be a mother, but it turns out she was just pulling a Sparkpelt and actually DID want the kits all along and was only hesitant because she’s sad. Shrug oh well. (the only female character in warriors that was distinctly upset about pregnancy and motherhood was Lizardstripe and as we all know she was eeeeeevil and abusive and “overly ambitious” because why else would you not come around to being happy about motherhood?? YES I’M STILL SALTY ABOUT YELLOWFANG’S SECRET, BAD BOOK) Whatever it’s fine so long as Spot doesn’t lose her rebel leader spirit forever and default to “soft mom” personality for the rest of her life, I gotta have hope because I actually like Bristle and Spot’s current relationship. Also I am actually very grateful they never made Bristle resentful at Spot for getting with her crush, as lots of middle grade/YA media has a very bad habit of demonizing female romantic “competition” and its super gross, so I rly do like that Bristlefrost is so protective and caring towards her instead. )

This series is trying to tell me that Rootspring is actually Big but I refuse to accept that. he has dumb scrawny bitch energy and we all know it

Sunrise: “Thunderclan may be better with a new leader” lol go off (i mean........they right tho...It’s unfortunate that the tension in this whole plot is a bit dampened by the fact that i DO in fact want bramble to die v badly. I don’t even have special hatred for him, I’m just bored of him.)

Yes Lionblaze beat the shit out of Ashfur

*HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUCKED!!!! (I wrote this in reference to the ghost summoning scene, this was all I could manage at the time, that scene was WILD and I am VIBING WITH THE HORROR OF IT ALL)

* Brashfur: Oh yeah? Could Ashfur fake THIS? *stands up with slightly better posture* Shadowsight: oh damn you got me there...... (asdfhhfhhgh im sorry that was really funny, how did that prove anything?? ONLY A ~REAL~ WARRIOR COULD STAND UP STRAIGHT WE ALL KNOW ASHFUR IS INCAPABLE OF GOOD POSTURE!)

End of the book: *LAUGHING NERVOUSLY* WHAT THE FUCK??? (I thought he was just gonna kill Squirrelflight right there holy shit can you imagine the RIOTS that would ensue in the wake of all this Squirrel/Bramble discourse I was so scared for a second.

But it’s fine, she just....went to super hell instead......Warriors has come so far lmao WHAT IS HAPPENING

Final Notes:

*On Mothwing, I don’t think her behavior struck me as “CHARACTER BUTCHERING” as much as it did for other people? I mean.....Warriors fans will say that literally any time a character does ANYTHING less then perfectly nice I think her actions just seemed that much harsher because we are reading from Shadowsight’s POV, and Shadowsight is taking everything 10x more personally right now (understandably so, but Mothwing isn’t inside his head) she wasn’t trying to hurt him. Also... like... Shadowsight DID get his name too early. It’s not Mothwing’s job to put his feelings above everything else, she’s not even his mentor, Puddleshine on the other hand, as his main mentor, I don’t understand what his deal is ignoring Shadowsight, that’s not how you help an apprentice but I suppose I chalk many of his mistakes up to also not being the most experienced medicine cat (he barely even had his own mentor.) Maybe he’s distant because he feels guilty and actually blames himself for not guiding Shadowsight better?? the two of them haven’t communicated about it yet so idk

any way I give Mothwing a pass to be a little short tempered right now as a cat who has had her abilities periodically questioned all her life no matter how hard she works or how much experience she has, just because she doesn’t vibe with the spiritual cult side of the clans, I can understand why she’s a bit defensive of being questioned and frustrated watching so much hurt happen Yet Again due to reliance on StarClan visions over common sense, and I for one still stan her for slandering StarClan and refusing to accept Mistystar’s bullshit banishing like everyone else. Sometimes a character is at the end of their rope and can’t manage to be 100% nice 24/7 and that’s maybe not inherently bad writing? idk just my hot take. At a certain point we all gotta reckon with the fact that our perception of most popular supporting characters in heavily colored by fanon and we can’t always get mad at the authors for not adhering to it

*The sisters magic shit is my fav worldbuilding warriors has had in AGES, I love the way it’s described and it actually feels like it adds something to this world. I love this horror imagery with the ghosts, very excited for that.

*still won’t be thrilled if Ashfur is working alone, because his motive doesn’t make sense right now. I mean the trying to get Squilf thing, sure, whatever, but the “I will make everyone pay for what they did to me”???? cause like?? Who??? they didn’t do anything to him?? Ashfur’s grievance was very specifically JUST Squilf. He has no other cause for revenge, he had no other beef or complaints about the clans to my knowledge? The cat that killed him is dead, and she’s like, the only other one that I could see as having “wronged” him?? I guess he also didn’t like Firestar much according to Graystripe’s Vow (and on account of how willing he was to kill him w/ Hawkfrost) but Firestar is ALSO dead. I don’t understand his angle. Will have to see last 2 books to judge i suppose.

*All in all I am interested to see where this is going!! but also the pacing as I feared is becoming a major issue. It’s better then ending the main conflict on book 3 like Vision of Shadows did, but omg. Hardly anything happened in all these pages. I realized I was over half way through and nothing about the situation had actually CHANGED or advanced at all in all that time. Similar to the past 2 books which I believe could have been combined, this plot felt like it should have been the first half of a book. Discussing whether or not to kill the imposter isn’t much of a standalone plot, it’s just the set up to a plot. Finding the sisters didn’t need to be a whole long thing, the debates about the Imposters fate didn’t need to be repeated 10 times, all those chapters illustrating that “Shadowsight is sad” were also drawn out, repetitive, and interchangeable, we probably only needed 2 or so chapters showing his struggles to get the necessary information across. It felt like a lot of padding, it was really slow and I did a lot of skimming. I am still very interested in the overarching plot and mystery behind the ghosts so that kept me reading but man this “will they won’t they kill him” plot did not justify it’s own whole book. Alas this is a persisting issue that will never be resolved while they continue to force 6 books into 1 series that doesn’t need 6 books. I’m sure the writers are doing the best they can with these unfortunate constraints but still, it’s a wonder this slow padding isn’t more of a detriment to their younger readers that the books are supposed to be marketed to.

#warrior cats #the broken code #darkness within #the darkness within #darkness within spoilers #wc tbc #tbc #is that enough tags #yarrow speaks #wc criticism #long post #the broken code spoilers #warrior cats spoilers

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mistymazzello · 5 years ago

Text

Cruel Summer | part viii

high school!joe mazzello x reader

summary-they used to be best friends, but now that y/n has a boyfriend (that everyone hates), joe and y/n can’t seem to come to terms with their feelings, but it’s no secret to anyone how they truly feel.

warnings-cussing and maybe a teeny bit of angst

word count-2.4k

taglist- @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @briarrose26 @mrsmazzello @im-an-adult-ish @iamthebeth @cobaincreates @almightygwil @timmvrphy @free-pool-trash @inlovewithaxlrose @findingillyria

a/n-this is the second to last chapter! there will be nine chapters in total and then an epilogue after that. so sad this is coming to an end and i’m so pleased at the feedback this is getting. i love all of you!!

based off of cruel summer by taylor swift

“Joe, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Ben pleaded.

Joe ignored him as he walked into the dugout of the baseball field.

“Can we at least talk about it?” He asked.

Joe sighed as he sat down on the bench. “Talk about what? The fact that you’re literally in love with my girlfriend?”

“It’s not even like that!” Ben defended.

“What’s it like then?” Joe shouted.

They were lucky that they were the first ones there, the baseball field almost deserted except for a few members of the opposite team in their own dugout. “I just liked her, okay? I wasn’t going to do anything about it and I wasn’t even going to tell her, she just kind of figured it out herself and made me tell her.”

Joe shook his head. He had been completely blindsided by all of this. With not very much time to process it all, he had freaked out. Everyone was hoping all of this could be forgotten, but that’s kind of hard when this is the least forgettable thing to ever happen in the friend group.

That’s why Joe was hoping for some normalcy while playing baseball. Summer baseball had always been one of Joe’s favorite things about June. It wasn’t serious, there was no pressure, he could just relax and play the game that he loves.

Relax. Ha. That’s funny.

Nothing was relaxing about the tension in the air that was thicker than the heat of Summer. Ben and Joe sat squished together, thigh to thigh. Joe’s leg bounced, his arms crossed over his chest as they announced the line up.

Ben felt bad, he really did. He didn’t want Joe to be mad at him for the way he felt, but at this point, there was nothing he could do. He had already told you about his feelings, and it was mortifying to have to sit next to your boyfriend while you watched in the stands.

Joe and Ben could both see you, sitting between Gwil and Lucy. Joe’s heart skipped at the sight, while Ben’s sunk. They both thought you looked beautiful, your elbow on your knee with your chin in your hand.

“It’s not your fault, Y/N.” Gwilym stated.

“But it kind of is, I should have told Joe.”

“Yeah but Joe needs to understand why you didn’t.” Lucy piped up.

You sighed, crossing your legs.

“I promise it’ll work out. You’re just in an awkward position.” Gwilym said, rubbing his hand over your back. You nodded and took a deep breath.

A beat passed and Lucy giggled, causing the two of you to look at her. “How awkward do you think it is in the dug out right now?”

“Oh my god. It’s probably horrible.” You said, looking over at Ben and Joe, who were sitting next to each other. You all watched as the boys stood up and started clearing the dugout to go onto the field.

“Carter, look, your bitch is here.” Aaron Thompson said, leaning against the wall of the dugout and gesturing towards you.

“Yeah I saw her staring at me when I got here. God, she’s so fucking obsessed. Follows me everywhere.” Carter said.

Joe heard from across the bench and looked over at him. “Carter she has you blocked on everything.” he said very matter-of-factly.

Carter's head whipped in Joe’s direction. “The fuck do you know?” He sneered. Joe shook his head, holding back the whole ‘she left you for me’ insult.

“You know they’re dating, right?” Ben spoke up, tying his shoe on the bench and not even bothering to look up at Carter.

“Yeah. I heard.” Carter said. “She can’t be single for longer than a day, can she. She’s got abandonment issues.”

Joe could feel his face getting red with anger. “No, I don’t think that’s the case here.” He said. He knew very well that you had terrible abandonment issues, but the entire baseball team didn’t need to know that.

“So what’s the case then?” Carter asked.

“Carter, are you stupid? She left you for Joe.” Ben said, still sitting on the bench. Joe looked over at Ben with appreciation, his lips slightly upturned.

Carter turned to Ben and laughed out of embarrassment. “I bet she’s giving you the same treatment she gave me.” Carter said to Joe. At this point the entire baseball team was listening and the dugout was so silent, you could practically hear Joe’s pounding heartbeat, quickening by the second.

Joe laughed. “Right.” He said. He didn’t want to be in this situation anymore, and he knew that he was above Carter. He wasn’t bothered.

Carter smiled. “Does she still have that thing with hair-pulling? That was weird but you know, it was kinda hot.” A few boys laughed and some slapped their hands over their mouths. He was just trying to get a dig at Joe, and he knew it worked when he looked at him, completely speechless.

Joe’s vision went blurry with pure, unadulterated anger. Ben had seen that look in Joe’s eyes before. He recognized it from the night at the party before Joe hit Carter. He knew they were close to recreating exactly what happened that night. He stood up and grabbed Joe’s arm. “Don’t even bother. It’s not worth it.” He muttered to him.

Joe glanced at Ben. Ben shook his head and Joe sighed, giving into Ben and turning around. He stormed out, Ben following close behind.

The game started and it was pretty slow at first. Your team started in the outfield, Joe playing second base and Ben playing centerfield. You could tell within the first 5 minutes that Joe was having a bad day.

Joseph Mazzello had never had a bad day in baseball. Even the days that he would consider “bad” were good. He was the star player on the team and everyone knew it.

When the second inning came around, Joe was 2nd up to bat. He struck out within the first 3 pitches. He threw his bat on the ground and stormed into the dugout.

“Yikes.” Gwilym said.

“He’s never like that.” Lucy noted.

Watching him intently as he sat down on the bench, you sighed. You knew he was pissed off, you could tell by how he was over-swinging. As he scanned the crowd you locked eyes with him and gave him a sympathetic smile. He looked away.

You watched in agony as the game went on, Joe doing worse and worse. Joe knew he had never fucked up this bad before and he was humiliated to say the least. Every time he saw you in the crowd, or remembered you were there, he let it get under his skin. He was letting his personal life and personal problems seep into his baseball skills.

In the 5th inning, the bases were loaded. The sun was high in the sky and the field was quiet as the next player stepped up to bat. Joe was in the outfield, punching his hand into his glove, trying not to lose his mind.

A loud crack let everyone know that the ball had been hit. It flew across the field, straight in Joe’s direction. It bounced once on the ground and he caught it. He turned towards home and wound up, throwing the ball as hard as he could. The second he let go, he knew he had made a mistake. He felt something rip in his shoulder, pain overtaking his whole left half. Soon he was on the ground, holding his arm.

“Oh, fucking christ.” You breathed, standing up to run to the fence.

At first, not many players noticed. A few walked over to him, bending over to ask if he was okay.

Ben saw the commotion from all the way across the field as the umpire called a time-out. Ben ran across the diamond and weaved through players of both teams to kneel at Joe’s side.

“Holy shit, Joe, what happened.” He asked.

“My fucking shoulder.” Joe groaned through gritted teeth. The coach was crouched on the other side of him, all of them equally confused as to what to do.

You clung onto the fence, trying to figure out what was happening. “I think it’s his arm or something.” You said.

“Looks like his shoulder.” Gwilym added, standing next to you.

The coach lightly took Joe’s hand away from his arm. “Yeah, it’s dislocated.” Joe groaned again and sat up.

“We’ve got to get him out of here.” The coach said to Ben, the only other person really trying to help.

“Joe, can you stand up?” Ben asked. Joe nodded and, with a wince, stood up. You all sighed in relief as he slowly walked off of the field, Ben right by his side.

You, Gwil, and Lucy all ran to the dugout that Joe had sat down in. Gwilym was the only one to hesitate to go in, not knowing if you were allowed. You practically ran in to see Joe sitting on the bench, the coach crouched down in front of him.

Joe looked up and met your eyes, and the second he did, he started crying. “Oh my god, Joey, are you okay?” You asked, walking over to him.

He shook his head and continued to cry. “I fucked up my shoulder.” You moved to where the coach was previosuly, crouching down in front of him on the bench. You looked up at him and put your hand on his cheek to wipe his tears that were mixing with his black under-eye facepaint.

“We’re gonna call an ambulance.” The coach said.

“We don’t have to do that.” Joe spoke up.

“Do you want to drive 20 minutes to the hospital with a dislocated shoulder?” The coach asked. Joe shook his head sheepishly.

You pulled your phone out and went to his mom's contact. “You wanna talk to her or do you want me to?” You asked as it rang.

“You can tell her.” He sniffed.

“Hello?” His mom said.

Standing up, you scratched the back of your head. “Hey, Mrs. Mazzello. I’m at Joe’s baseball game right now, and don’t worry, he’s okay, but I think he dislocated his shoulder.” You said.

You paced in the dugout while you were talking to his mom and Ben sat down next to Joe. He put a hand on his back and rubbed it a few times. Despite the current situation, you were still a little bit shocked by the way they were getting along.

Sirens sounded in the distance as you hung up the phone. “She’s meeting us at the hospital.” You stated.

As Joe was being put into the ambulance, you all watched. None of you were allowed to go in the ambulance with him since you weren’t family and he wasn’t in critical condition.

“Okay, let’s follow the ambulance.” Gwil said, setting a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah we should probably go now, then.” Ben said.

You turned to him. “You don’t want to stay and finish the game?” You asked.

“Are you crazy? I’m going to be with Joe.” He said. “Now, let’s go.”

The rest of the day felt like a blur. You remember having to leave the room when they were going to snap Joe’s shoulder back into place, not being able to stomach it. At the end of the day, right before he was going to leave, you and Joe were left alone in his hospital room. You sat in the small cushioned chair next to his bed and sighed.

“I guess this is what I get for playing like shit.” He laughed.

You shook your head, giggling. He reached out his hand, opening it for you to grab. You took his hand in yours and he smiled smally.

“I don’t know if this is the right time to do this, but I’m sorry for the way I reacted the other day.” He said.

Tightening your grip on his hand, you locked eyes with him. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you, I should’ve told you sooner.”

He sighed. “I know it’s not his fault or anything.”

You nodded. “I just feel so bad.”

It was silent for a moment, the cool hospital air almost making you shiver. “Just promise me you’re mine, okay?” He asked softly.

“I promise, Joe.” You said. He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed it.

Coincidentally, Ben entered the room. “Hey.” He said, standing in the doorway. “You good?”

Joe nodded. “As good as I can be after tearing 5 ligaments in my shoulder.”

He laughed. “Okay, well I’m gonna get going.”

You both said okay and he started to turn around, only paying a little attention to the fact you were holding hands.

“Thank you, Ben.” Joe said. Ben turned back to look at him. “I know you didn’t have to help me today or come here or anything, and I would understand why if you didn’t, but you did. So thanks for that.”

“Of course.” It was quiet again. “You’re my best friend.” He said, immediately holding his breath after saying it, scared of Joe’s response.

Joe nodded. “Yeah.”

Ben smiled and turned around, finally leaving the room. After kissing Joe goodbye multiple times, you left the hospital. When you got home, you flopped onto your bed and pulled out your phone, texting Joe (per his request) that you had made it home safe.

You opened Instagram and saw that Ben had posted. It was a picture of Joe in his hospital bed, Ben sitting in the chair beside him as they both gave the camera a thumbs up.

The caption read, “When life gives you lemons, you throw the lemons so hard that you dislocate your shoulder.”

You let out a small laugh at the caption and liked the post, then scrolled to the comments.

Joe commented, “I have the best friends ever. (I am typing this with one hand.)”

You couldn’t help but smile. Things were normal.

#joe mazzello #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello x reader #borhap boys x reader #borhap boys imagine #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello headcanon #fan fiction #borhap cast #cruel summer #joe mazzello x y/n #joe mazzello one shot #joe mazzello x you

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saleintothe90s · 4 years ago

Text

422. ”Carrie” (May 12 - May 15 1988)

I adore reading about flops. One of my favorite flops to read about is Carrie the musical. A doomed production from the start. Millions of dollars wasted. Bad costumes. Filler songs.

Similar to my Simpsons season 10 review, I wanna give something to the worst aspects of the show. With Simpsons, bad episodes were awarded Marge’s homemade Pepsi. For Carrie, I think I’m going to give the bad parts the “Vending Machine Maxi Pad” award.

As most anybody who follows Broadway flops knows, clips from Carrie are scarce and are in poor condition on YouTube. Most of the actual clips are from when the show was in test productions in Stratford Upon Avon, but the music has been replaced with the Broadway soundboard. So, keep that in mind. Most of the time you can’t even make out what’s going on. Here’s the closest copy of the entire show I could find on YouTube, from the Sratford Upon Avon production.

I know people bash the musical, and sometimes it’s rightfully so, but two things are consistent: Linzi Hateley who played Carrie, and that orchestra that is on.point. Check out the overture.

(source)

The show begins with girls cheering in gym class in the beginning of an aerobics lesson? The white gym shorts look like diapers. That’s the first of many costume mistakes.

The song is a banger, I love Darlene Love playing the gym teacher, she’s my favorite part of the song. The only part that is cringey to me is when the girls sing “I go CrAzZyyyyy” and they get on the ground and dance like a toddler having a temper tantrum in a Toys R Us. Since the audio quality is so bad in these clips, I thought at one point the girls were singing about not being caught picking their nose, no, the lyric is:

Bought the clothes, did my nose,

Near the end of the song, the girls are on these rising rafters? It took me for-ever to realize that they were simulating a cheerleader pyramid, and that Carrie had snuck in near the end of the number to be on the bottom of the pyramid. Oh, and she causes it to fall and someone tells her to eat shit.

“Dream On” is the song that the girls sing while in the showers. Why yes, it does look like they’re in the nude due to the poor quality of the video. The song is ok, it gives total night driving home from the mall in the late 80s early 90s vibes. Although one girl says the line, “Six foot three and he's in his forties!”. WHAT.

Carrie breaks those vibes at around 3:44 by screaming that she’s bleeding. When Miss Gardener slaps Carrie, a cymbal plays. I love it.

I like to imagine that when the girls threw the tampons and pads at Carrie, some flew into the audience.

“Carrie” is shrill at first, and then it turns into a bit of snoozefest. Linzi sings the name “Carrie” about 458 times.

Betty Buckley who previously had played the original Grizabella in Cats. and who played the gym teacher in the original movie plays Carrie’s mom. Her song, “Open Your Heart” is pretty good. It’s a nice little break before mom goes bottoms up on Carrie for getting her period (”And Eve Was Weak” [Stratford version with Barbara Cook]):

Carrie: I was in the shower and...

Mom: You’re forbidden from showering with the other girls...

Carrie: I started to bleed!

While Carrie spends the rest of the night in a cellar, the popular girls are at the drive-in. Now, this musical cost over $7 million dollars 1, but yet this was the best set they could think of for a drive-in movie theater:

It looks like something out of a high school play -- which I guess makes a little sense since they are high schoolers? I’m grabbing at straws here. It cost so much money to put Carrie on, what’s a few more dollars to have two real hollowed out cars on stage, one with Chris (in the red) & Billy (in black) in it, and the other with Sue (pink leggings) and Tommy (purple windbreaker)?

“Don’t Waste the Moon” is the song sung at the drive-in, with Sue having regrets about throwing tampons at Carrie in the beginning of the song. The song is very 1980s, and it kind of doesn’t fit in the musical. Gene Anthony Ray’s (Billy) talent is wasted here.

It’s time for some “Evening Prayers” for Carrie where she discusses with God her new telekinesis powers. Meanwhile Carrie’s mom is being a worrywort. During the Stratford production, Carrie’s mom is in a rocking chair over there looking like Whistler’s Mother.

“You’re going to tell Carrie that you’re sorry!” belts out Miss Gardner. In the musical, Chris seems more obsessed with torturing Carrie than in the movie or book if that’s even possible. Sue is like, “What did she even do to you?”. Even Billy asked earlier, “Who the hell is Carrie White?”.

Oooof. Seeing the gym teacher try to cheer Carrie up by singing a song about the prom (”Unsuspecting Hearts”) and how she could go too is patronizing. Even if its sung by Darlene Love.

“Do Me a Favor” might be the most infamous song from the musical. It’s the song I see referred to the most when I read bad reviews. For some reason Chris is wearing a metallic red bodysuit and Sue is wearing a light pink bodysuit. Are they supposed to be that cliche devil and the angel on the shoulder thing?

Chris looks like Evil Homer!

I’m going be the unpopular opinion here and say that I love the song! The erratic dancing also fits with the song.

Carrie tells her mom before “I Remember How Those Boys Would Dance” that Tommy is sweet and polite, but the audience doesn’t know that. Tommy is barely a character in this production. In the end, Carrie uses her powers to shut her mama up.

From what I gather in “Out for Blood” (audio) where Chris and Billy go looking for a pig to kill, the chorus dancers are the pigs? The video quality is so poor. Chris had another crazy ass red outfit on, some sort of shiny red skirt and a crop top. The costumes in this are just horrible. It was like the wardrobe budget was $50.

This song is so.so.bad. It reminds me of whenever Rocko from Rocko’s Modern Life would see a movie trailer or a parody of something on TV for some reason?! Or the “gotta get that Reptar song” from Rugrats when the kids saw Reptar on ice. Especially when the chorus tells Billy to kill the pig:

CHORUS Cha! Kill the pig, pig, pig! CHRIS Go! CHORUS Kill 'im, kill 'im, kill, kill! We'll make him bleed! CHRIS Go! CHORUS Get the blood, blood, blood Oooh, blood! CHRIS Oh, baby show... CHORUS Kill the pig, make 'im bleed Let's get the blood, that's all we need!

Sue’s song “It Hurts to be Strong” is a bit of a throw-away. It gets a vending machine maxi pad award. Moving on. It’s filler

In “I’m Not Alone”, Carrie sings while using her powers to move things around in her room. What things? I don’t know the video quality was so bad. That’s another thing! The sets are nonexistent! I wouldn’t know we were in Carrie’s room unless the Playbill told me. It’s another forgettable song. Three in a row!

Betty Buckley saves the day in, “When There’s No One”, a sad song about facing life without Carrie being her subordinate.

I don’t understand the prom dresses in “Wotta Night”, they’re all garish giant white numbers that make the actresses look about 20 pounds heaver. The guys look like that Rio doll from Jem. The costume designer couldn’t just go to Alexanders or A&S and buy prom dresses? You know, why am I even asking at this point. We all saw what Chris has been wearing this whole time. There is a disco ball thrown aside in the corner instead of hanging up. More on that later.

The song sounds way too much like that song “Rock on” by David Essex. Automatic Vending Machine Maxi Pad.

Here’s a cute rehearsal clip I found of “Heaven”, the song sung while the Prom Queen and King ballots are being counted. Unfortunately, the audio is bad. Chris is there to remind us that she’s still out for blood.

Finally, finally it’s time for Carrie the prom queen to get drenched with blood -- but the thing is, due to microphone technology back then, Carrie really couldn’t have blood dumped on her. Chris and Billy just run up to her and half ass pour the bucket at her. Could the set designer not suspend the bucket from above the stage? Is that also why the disco ball is thrown in the corner? I don’t even think she has stage blood on her during “The Destruction”, (which is the best song from the musical). I think a red spotlight over Carrie signifies the blood.

I think Linzi is really only truly covered in blood for press shots.

Anyway, the Destruction, I love it when she screeches “DOESN’T ANYBODY EVER GET IT RIGHT??! DOESN’T ANYBODY THINK THAT I HEAR?!” It’s the best. I could listen to it all day and I almost did the other day.

Due the poor video quality, I can’t really tell how the prom-goers are dying. They’re kinda just twitching there in the laser light or slamming themselves against the clear barrier that descended from the stage to signify Carrie closing the doors to the gym.

After Carie kills everybody, this giant white staircase descends and covers up the gym. I read somewhere, I forgot where, that its supposed to be the school stairs? We’re led to believe that Carrie’s crazy mom ran to the school. The first time I saw it, I thought that it was Carrie and her mom getting ready to go to heaven. I thought maybe someone over at the set department took the classic song too literally.

It appears that while the stairs are descending, Carrie smears stage blood on her.

The reprise of “Carrie’ is so much better than the original. Carrie stops her mom’s heart cold mid song. Then she slins down the stairs and Sue catches her. In an interview on playbill.com, Betty Buckley says that on opening night (I don’t know if she meant the first preview, or the official opening night), there were boos from the audience at the end, but cheers for Linzi and herself. I believe it. Betty and Linzi were amazing. Darlene Love was amazing. The rough scenes are the scenes with the school kids. They’re awful, in the words of my boy Jay Sherman, “they’re awful I tell you. aw.ful.”

(relevant prom .gif)

1. Rothstein, Mervyn. “After Seven Years And $7 Million, ‘Carrie’ Is a Kinetic Memory (Published 1988).” The New York Times, May 17, 1988, sec. Theater. https://www.nytimes.com/1988/05/17/theater/after-seven-years-and-7-million-carrie-is-a-kinetic-memory.html.

New York City Broadway reviews on the news in NYC for Carrie. That first reviewer, Stuart Klein, I love him. I’ve watched several of his reviews on flops on YouTube. Joel Sigel who was the Good Morning America film reviewer is here too.

Archive of Betty Buckley interview.

#carrie #carrie the musical #1988 #betty buckley #linzi hateley #charlotte d'amboise #broadway #musicals #broadway flops #flops #the 1980s

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angstalottle · 5 years ago

Text

Lana On The Case

Part 3

Lana knew she shouldn’t have been expecting much, especially after spending the last week lying in bed stewing in her own filth and misery.

That didn’t change the fact that her current appearance still shocked her.

Her skin had gained an ashen quality about it and dark circles under her eyes.

She was sure is Red hadn’t practically force fed her she was have lost much more weight then she already had.

She felt drained and heavy, like her life was sucked out from her when Hannah left her…

Keith showing up had given her a small glimmer of excitement perhaps even hope but as soon as he was gone and she was left alone to her thoughts they turned right back to the fact that her best friend was gone from her life forever.

That thought hurt even more than knowing her sweet wonderful Hannah killed people.

Job offer or not Lana likely would have spent the rest of her life lying in her bed if her aunties hadn’t decided to do something about it.

One moment she's dozing staring into space, the next Blue has pulled her covers away while Re dumped a bucket of warm soapy water over her.

The two manhandled her out of bed and into some clean clothes before giving her two options.

One was to stay cooped up inside and suffer through them inviting every nosey friend they could think of over to omard her with questions and pinched cheeks followed by of course the dreaded relationship advice that everyone over a certain age believed they knew.

Or go down to the police station and actually do something with her life/

Though neither option was particularly fun in the end Lana chose to go out mainly because Red had also made a swinging joke which of course practically sent her bolting through the door.

The police station like everything else in the village was only a short walk away from the Altea estate, you could get pretty much anywhere by cutting through the large gardens that have unfortunately fallen into a state of disrepair.

The lady of the manor had died when Lana was away and since then the place hadn’t been the same, like some of the beauty of the world left when she did.

As far as she knew the only daughter of the family Allura was away for school or something while her father worked in London.

Lana had fond memories of Allura, being a few years younger then the girl and quite a bit poorer, she always seemed like this fairy princess that could have anything or do anything.

Looks like not even princesses could escape tragedy.

Lana hiked up her skirt as she climbed over the thick mess of weeds and flowers careful not to disturb anything as she passed through.

Even if everyone took the shortcut it was an unsaid rule that you were not to disturb the gardens or ever go close to the house.

Of course when Lance got her foot caught in a bramble and fell face first into the ground she broke that rule by flattening at least a dozen flowers beneath her.

“Oh dear are you alright?” A woman wearing a veil and long white gloves asked as she hurried over from the main house.

Odd appearance aside what really caught Lana’s attention was her snow white hair. A characteristic that was common amongst the Altean family.

Going off her build she could have been anywhere between 20-30 but without the face or hands it really was impossible to tell.

Lana felt her cheeks burn as she pulled herself up and dusted herself down frowning at the rip that now worked its way up her blue skirt.

The woman put her hands on her dress and examined the rip tutting softly “we really must get the gardener back in this place really has fallen to ruin.”

Now that she was closer Lana could smell the sweet scent of roses coming off her in such a large volume it would almost be suffocating if they weren't outside.

“Do you work here?” Lana asked trying to swallow her embarrassment while this strange woman kept hold of her skirt.

One strong breeze and she would see next weeks washing.

The woman chuckled “not exactly. I used to live here I never actually planned on returning but in light of my father's disappearance I suppose I didn’t have much choice.”

Lana couldn’t help but flinch, since what Hannah did came to light any case of men running off in the middle of the night or simply not returning after a day out is now considered suspect.

Their still digging up all the bodies and people have been flocking from all over in search of their missing husbands, fathers and brothers.

Lana then realised something very important.

Mainly that if Alfor was missing and this woman was his daughter then it must have been Allura!

“Allura?”

Lana couldn’t see her face but she imagined a smile on those pretty pink painted lips she used to know very well.

“That’s me, im sorry but who are you?”

Lana had her suspicions of course that this was all a scam, someone swooping in to steal the Altean family fortune, but she wasn’t really in the mood for any other mysteries right now.

That and according to Keith she was pretty forgettable.

“Oh im Lana… I used to play with you in the garden as a kid.”

“Oh my i'm so sorry Lana, im afraid my memory hasn’t been that good since the accident. She gestured to her veil and gloves “I got caught up in the Blitz and i'm afraid my appearance paid a higher price then by mind.”

Lana felt guilt crawl into her stomach, well at least she didn’t outright accuse her of being a con artist. Besides Coran was a dear friend of the family, there's no way someone would be able to just take over Allura’s life without him noticing.

“Im sorry, I didn’t realise.”

Allura waved her off finally letting go of her skirt “don’t worry about it, ive made my peace with my situation, it is a tad lonely though, people aren't exactly eager to visit the manor these days.” She sounded so sincerely sad that Lana couldn’t help but feel for her.

She knew what it was like to lose everything because of a situation out of her control, the war had stolen many things from them, Lana was lucky to keep her beauty at least.

“Well then I suppose I have no choice but to come round for tea, I would invite you to my aunts cottage but they tend to get too excited around anyone they used to know.”

Lana gave her the best smile she could manage and was rewarded by Allura taking her hands and kissing them.

Once again her face turned an interesting shade of red.

“That sounds simply wonderful Lana, how about Thursday at 8 o'clock?”

Lana had lost her ability to form words so simply nodded earning her a small chuckle in response.

“I don’t want to keep you if your busy so ill just see you Thursday?” Allura asked startling Lana out of her stupor.

“Yes I should go, but i'll erm see you then I promise.”

Lana stuttered deciding it was best to continue on her way before she made an even bigger fool of herself so mustered up what grace she had to give an awkward curtsy realising that was dumb halfway through and instead turned and hurried on her way hitting herself muttering “stupid stupid stupid” over and over again until she finally arrived at the police station.

As expected of a small town the police station was fairly quiet this time of day home only to the drunks that were picked up the night before and only now being released to go back to their family or in some cases the church.

Of course one would expect it to be much busier with the number of bodies being dug up but unfortunately since Hannah left and it became national news the investigation had been taken over by some fancy out of state law enforcement that walk around in nice suits and a stuck up attitude to match their overall pompous appearance.

Going off the sour atmosphere in the station no one was too pleased to have the villages first ever big case stolen from under them.

Lana did her best to smile politely as she made her way to reception preparing herself for awkward small talk with someone she really hoped wouldn't recognise her.

“Hello im here-”

“If you got a crime to report fill out the form if not get lost.”

The woman behind the desk looked too young to be working, her slight frame and big doe eyes making her seem like she couldn't be much older than 15 but then again looks can be deceiving. Like the fact that despite wearing big round glasses and squinting at a book in front of her the glass within the frame appeared to be purely decorative and not actually serve any function.

Lana cleared her throat “no actually i'm here about the job. Im expected.”

This time she at least bothered to look up from her book and glanced Lana up and down “what they replacing me with some tramp, i've worked here ten years and they bring in some totty to take my job”

Lana quickly held up her hands feeling actually pretty threatened by this tiny angry lady “no! No i'm the new consultant im supposed to be working with Keith and-”

“Oi Keith! Some broad here says shes your new partner!” She yelled and just like that, all eyes were on her.

Lana smiled awkwardly at them really wishing a hole would appear beneath her and swallow her up whole so she could escape this situation.

However the only thing the universe sent her was a very flustered keith running in from the back.

He was carrying a stack of papers and had that god awful mullet tied back in a ponytail that honestly didn't look half bad on him.

“Thanks Katie i can take her from here.” Keith dropped the papers on her desk “Also Griffin needs you to file these for him.”

“He could do it himself” Katie grumbled grabbing the papers and flicking through them “he didn't even bother filling some of these out!”

Keith quietly grabbed Lana’s arm and pulled her towards him as Katie got distracted with her angry mutterings “Sorry about her, she's just pissed that her dad lost his job to a hot shot whos dad just happens to be a governor.”

“Ah where would be be without nepotism” Lana chuckled letting Keith led her back into a small office where five other people were sat. She assumed the cells were behind one of the closed doors and perhaps the archive room behind another.

It had been a long time since she had been back here, it was certainly before the war was even a possibility and she had broken the wrong persons window and ended up having to wait for her mother by Corans desk.

People tend to say that places from your youth always seem so much smaller when you visit them again. Until now Lana wasn't really sure she bought into that nostalgia fueled nonsense.

But seeing the row of chairs her feet used to dangel off while she prepared an excuse for her behaviour for her furious mother now looked like they would fall apart if she just got too close let alone sat on one.

At least not all the changes were bad. Coran really did deserve that nice office and the title Detective neatly painted above his name.

“You know I was starting to think you wouldn't be coming” Keith said as they came to what Lana assumed was his desk. It was a little away from the others and scattered with paper work in various states of finished. It lacked much personality beyond a couple of knives and oh boy keith standing next to an incredibly attractive man that Lana realised fairly quickly must have been his older brother.

“To be honest i wasn't sure either, my life kinda went to hell but Aunt Blue and Red practically shoved me out of the door.”

Keith chuckled in response as her perched on the edge of his desk “that sounds about right. Though I hate to say it but you've kind of come on boring day. Everyones so desperate for something to do that their even taking the grunt work from me.”

“So what your just sitting around all day?” Lana asked right as a hand collided with her behind.

Lana likes to think herself an understanding woman. Or at least she tries to ever since the instadent where what she thought was a gropper on a train turned out to be a blind man having dropped his cain. So rather then turning around and grabbing the arm of whoever just did that to break over her knee she calmly turned to them.

She came face to face with a tall man that she unfortunately recognised.

James Griffin top of the class when they went to school together and by far the most arrogant man she ever met. And that was before he got a cushy job thanks to his dad.

Lana glared up at him giving him a chance to apologize or say he had mistaken her for his girlfriend that was into that kind of thing.

Instead he just smirked “wow Keith how did you find yourself this hot piece of ass.”

Ok she was going to break his nose now.

Unfortunately before she got the chance keith stepped in front of her “don't talk to her like that Griffin, Coran hired her himself as a consultant and i'm sure he wouldn't take that kind of behaviour.’

James rolled his eyes but did visibly tense as he shot a glance at the closed office door. “Whatever. This whole thing is just for press, whoever heard of a woman police officer. Their far too emotional.”

“Last I checked you were the one that cried when i kicked you in the nuts as kids.” Lana huffed crossing her arms.

“Ah buck teeth Lana! My my you did fill out nicely. How about after work I take you out?” Jame smiled looking her up and down in a way that made her skin crawl.

“How about I tell your mother that you slap my ass, if i remember right she was a reasonable woman.”

Oh how quickly his attitude changed. He swallowed whatever response he had ready and scurried off to his office next to Corans.

“What a creep.”

“Yeah but a rich one.” Keith sighed “you ok?”

“Yeah just kinda pissed i didn't get to make that jerk squeal like in highschool.” Lana noticed a small smirk appear at the corner of keiths lips at that and decided to take it as a win even if she could still feel his disgusting hand on her.

Unfortunately the next few hours were not as exciting.

Lana pulled up a chair across from Keith and kept herself busy by flicking pieces of paper at him, an activity that he avoided joining in with for exactly ten minutes.

They were so wrapped up in their game that they didn't notice coran standing next to the desk until after Keith made the winning shot and jumped up to let out a victory cry.

“It's nice to see you've found a way to keep miss Mclain here entertained during our slow day.” Coran chuckled as Keith startled and quickly cleared his throat trying to hide the blush quickly creeping up his face.

“Detective i can explain”

Coran held his hand up quickly cutting him off “no need, I understand the importance of a bit of fun to avoid dying of boredom. The time for that has now sadly passed im sending you to look into a missing persons cases.”

Keith and lana exchanged a look, while lana’s was excitement Keiths was confusion.

“Sir while im happy for a case why not give it to someone else? Im sure all the others would kill for a case right now.”

Coran simply chuckled to himself handing over a case file “because Kogane your the only officer here I trust not to get side tracked while investigating. That and i'm sure Lana here will make sure your eyes don't wander too far.”

Lana wasn't really sure what he meant by that until they got to the scene of the crime.

Or as everyone else calls it the ‘Galra Gentlemens Club’.

When the club first opened it was met with outcry from the church and the school boards and well anyone with too much time on their hands.

Now after being open for more than a decade, those same people have become the most lucrative clientele, who know stuck up prudes could have such deep pockets for the sinful arts.

Keith had kindly offered to give Lana a ride on the handlebars of his bike since the club was located uphill from the station and there was no way the poor old police car would make it up the whole way. Apparently a replacement was on its way but they had been promising it since before the war.

Lana had of course told Keith that while she appreciate the offer she would find the very idea outlandishly improper, so of course made him ride the handle bars while she put her years of missing the bus and not wanting to be late training to good use.

After a quick check with her compact and a nod to Keith they entered the club.

Lana was no stranger to Gentlemens clubs, she had been to more than a few during the war to meet with people who were usually a lot more willing to give up information when they had a few drinks in them.

This club was no different, everything was a sickening deep purple as if the colour alone could make it classy or hide the disturbingly prominent wet patches on the couches.

Lana tried her very best not to stare at the men already here this early on a weekday morning and instead focused on following Keith back to see the manger.

“Just let me do the talking, guys like this aren't always that nice to women” Keith whispered as he knocked on the door and it swung open to not show a greasy man but instead a very tall muscular woman with short black hair wearing a suit.

Lana felt her mouth go dry just looking at her.

“A-are you the manager here?” Keith asked clearly feeling equally intimidated and aroused as Lana was.

“Yeah i am, who wants to know?” She asked leaning against the doorway and looking down at him. Her gaze however moved quickly from keith to Lana and a smile spread across her face.

“Usually we don't hire new talent outside of auditions but for a beautiful girl like you im willing to make an exception.”

“I” Lana squeaked finding herself speechless for the first time in a long time.

Thankfully Keith came to her rescue before she could actually contemplate working for this greek god of a woman.

“Actually we came from the police station. You called about one of the dancers going missing?”

The woman nodded and stepped back into the room hurrying them inside before closing the door.

“Yeah my best girl Ezor, she was seen leaving the club last week but no one has seen her since.”

“Does she often disappear like this? Perhaps to visit a gentleman caller miss...?” Keith asked pulling out a notebook while Lana looked around the office.

“Zethrid…. And trust me she's not the sorts to make house calls.”

It was fairly empty save for a punching bag in the corner and a few pictures on the walls. Most of them were group shots of all the dancers in costumes. But those actually on the desk seemed only to contain Zethrid and a slim woman with pink hair tied in a high ponytail. It was just the two of them over and over again smiling like they didn't have a care in the world.

“Is this Ezor here?” Lana asked picking up one picture showing the two in the park, judging from the bunting and celebrating in the background it was the day the allie ‘won’ the war.

Zethrid nodded “yeah that's her… we actually live together and yeah she disappears sometimes but never for this long and never without contacting me.”

“Is it possible she ran off with a sweetheart?” Keith asked taking the picture.

“She wouldn't. I know she's been taken its the only explanation.”

Something told Lana that this relationship was deeper than friendship “The last night she was seen, was there anything unusual happening?”

Zethrid thought for a moment “now that you mention it there was a black car parked outside the club all day. I didn't give it much mind incase it was a customer trying to work up the nerve to come in but it left right after she did.”

“Did you happen to catch the plates?” Keith asked hopefully only to let out a disappointed sigh when she shook her head no.

“But the car was old looking with a dent in the drivers side door.”

Keith noted it down “thanks we will be in touch.”

He led the way out but Zethrid grabbed Lana by the arm before she could leave “please i can't imagine life without her… she's my best friend.”

Lana knew what it was like to lose one of those. So she smiled and put a hand over hers “I promise ill do everything I can to find her.”

Once they were safely outside keith let out a groan “you should promise people anything, it just means you'll get attached to the case.”

“Isn't that the job of a detective though? How can i love a case if i don't care about it?” Lana huffed hitching up her skirt and getting on the bike.

“I'm just saying that it will end up hurting you more if we find her dead in a ditch somewhere.”

Lana rolled her eyes “ever the optimist huh Mullet. Besides we have a lead how many people in town have old black cars?”

“Excluding the police cruiser i'd say seven.” Keith noticed the sceptical look Lana was giving him and rolled his eyes.

“My brother owns the mechanics remember, i help out sometimes and not many people really have cars round here.”

Lana sighed “maybe we should get a second opinion from your dreamy brother.” she batted her eyelashes playfully at him as he climbed onto the handle bars.

“Shut up and pedal we've got a lot of groundwork to do.”

Five hours!

It took five hours to find all the cars, to check for dents and alibis.

In that time Lana fell into two ditches, got attacked by a chicken and the rip in her dress traveled up to past her knee.

As her mother would say she's only some red lipstick away from looking like a whore.

Lana wished she could say that time was well spent and while watching Keith getting chased by an angry family of pigeons that had taken resident in one of the old cars they ultimately ended up on a dead end.

So while the light began to fade and the two slowly walked up to the station the mood was sour.

“It could always have been someone from out of town?” Lana suggested holding the split in her dress to try and keep it from travelling any higher.

“No they would have been too noticeable. If someone from out of town drove through here everyone would know about it by now. We must have missed something.”

Lana shivered in the cool air and was surprised when Keith handed over his jacket without taking his eyes off the path.

The red really did suit him better but the warmth from his body made her feel better.

“We should check surrounding houses tomorrow, maybe one of the cars was taken without the owner realising.”

“And what they dented it and then undented it?’ Keith snorted “no if the dent was fixed it would have had to come through the shop. Shiro may be able to help.”

“I'll try to hide my disappointment” Lana laughed earning her a playful push from Keith which she returned.

The two were laughing and having a moment of fun that when cold hard reality finally came crashing down Lana felt like she had been punched in the face.

Just as they walked in the car they were looking for pulled in behind them.

Old, black and with a large dent on the side.

The only problem was that it was Coran driving it.

#langst #fem lance #1940s detective au #klance #allurance #pidge #Coran #james griffin

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musingmycelium · 5 years ago

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god okay i info dumped on discord bc thats just who i am as a person so i’m cross posting it here in case anyone else is curious about my canon world state. under a read more bc its, uh, maybe a bit of a monster.

i've got a dummy complex worldstate for no reason other than i like to make things difficult for the sake of a good story i guess. for origins my canon warden is an apostate, ellanis tabris who in an 'accident' had his leg crushed and it never recovered, causing it to have stunted growth. he uses a cane to get around and his disability helped hide him in the denerim alienage since apostacy is probably one of if not the most dangerous crime for an elf.

he's only one of three, though. his best friends growing up are noure surana and attie nehrios. noure gets taken to the circle when they're 17 (and ellanis and attie are 15) and comes into play a bit later, while attie is a seamstress and budding red jenny.

as far as origins itself goes ellanis' canon route is deep roads - dalish - haven - redcliff - circle - redcliff. fairly standard stuff up until haven/broken circle tbh. in haven during the guardian's first trial instead of shianni ellanis sees noure (whom the alienage presumed dead when arrested bc it wasn't, ah, a clean arrest) as the ghosty thing and during broken circle ellanis finds noure again and 'conscripts' them into the wardens. really he just takes them with him and destroys their phylactery so they won't be followed. (noure's phylactery is stored in kinloch instead of the spire after their fourth escape attempt since it gave them too much of a head start to make the templars wait to get it) theres a lot of Feelings surrounding connor but other than that ellanis doesn't super change things there either. he does, however, not have any idea about the dr. which is the biggest break i have from canon in dao with the exception of my inclusion of More City Elves. instead of morrigan going to ellanis she, as his best friend, knows he'll refuse to do it and instead goes straight to alistair. morrigan actually never tells ellanis anything about the ritual, ever.

during unrest in the alienage ellanis meets up with attie again, who is already working to clear the slavers out herself, and she falls head over heels for morrigan pretty quickly. fast enough that when morrigan sets out on her 'nobody follow me' thing attie does anyways bc thats just who attie is as a person. and besides she can't stay in denerim now that she's maybe or not killed a nobleman for what happened during the wedding.

and now its awakening time

ellanis meets up with anders for the first time and through him learns a bit more about noure's time in the circle. (noure and anders and karl were lovers for roughly three years before shit hit the fan hard) and fuck canon here because ellanis doesn't have time for this. plus the architect is interesting and yah maybe insane but he's in the place for a little madness. ellanis lets him live and strikes a bargain with him, they share research and any ferelden wardens who prefer to answer their calling not by fighting darkspawn but by potentially furthering the cure are welcomed by the architect. but after awakening ellanis leaves vigils keep in nate's hands and goes on 'offical leave' to work on his own cure..... and to live in antiva with zevran...... lkjkjlkjkjkj

noure, after broken circle and during awakening, goes to nevarra via orlais. it takes them a couple of months to settle but noure finds viuus (yes that viuus) who takes them on as an apprentice of sorts bc he's also in a bit of a jam. it works, sorta, noure learns more spirit based magic and reconnects with a part of themselves the circle tried to beat out of them. it only lasts for about two years, though, because templars find them, one a recent transfer from kinloch and noure isn't exactly a forgettable face. so!

well, its around the same time that anders leaves the wardens for good. and ellanis puts anders in touch with noure. they decide to meet in kirkwall, because rumor has it that's where karl is and thats gonna be the place they need to go first.

attie though, she's just hanging out with morrigan and stirring the pot in orlais as a jenny. she also works with the mage underground and defo either knows or works with briala as a kind of agent. her story is more foggy tho bc i haven't read Super much of TME or played some of witch hunt

da2 comes in and i've Recently, like as of last week i think, decided to swap my canon hawkes. william is now my canon hawke instead of the twins. he's an apostate who's magic is mostly clairvoyancy and a shepherd.. or he was until the blight. bethany dies during the escape and its only the Beginning of the sad times for william.

with his pretty suble magic william makes for a Superb smuggler, and lands the gig with bartrand quickly. he Also, gets a bit of a crush on varric while they're still going around raising money. he takes carver, varric, and isabela with him to the deep roads thinking that keeping his brother close will be safer. and, well, it isn't.

act ii is a bunch of horse shit anyways but william tries to keep out of things until isabela is directly threatened by it and only then steps in seriously. for the most part all of the things which go down with petrice are done with noure and anders. they don't like the qunari being in town either but they, at least, can use the situation to weaken the chantry and by extension the circle. even if its only a bit. during act iii the two of them build up the mage underground and start preparing to take direct action against the circle. william is, still uncertain but he doesn't stop them. his magic has never been a large danger to himself, it's suble enough and under control enough that he's never really had to fear templars. he feared them for his fathers sake, for bethany's sake, but not his own. not really. and well, we know how da2 ends but i hate the retcon of 'hundres of casualties' bithc! where! so no, only the grand cleric and a handful of upper level chantry people where inside when it went up and they deserved it.

ellanis is working on the blight cure during this time and makes it far enough that he and zev are surprised by twins (two girls named adaia and killian) but otherwise ellanis is mostly chillin in antiva

while attie is now definitely working closely with briala both as a jenny and as an agent

and we’re up to dai with my canon quizzy - da'ean lavellan, the clan storykeeper (next in line after his father) who only attends the conclave because idrilla was going to first and they didn't want to loose the clan first. i've got... way more canon deviance in dai than anywhere else bc dai Suxxs but its way too long but basically!

da'ean romances both dorian and the iron bull bc im poly and i said so, idrilla comes to skyhold as magical advisor and she works where morrigan does in the game (tho morrigan still shows up she's not an offical position as much, which suits her and attie just fine). linayel, da'ean's nas'falon (qp) arrives with her and he slots in as an archery trainer.

plus, ellanis is the warden contact instead of the many (some really wild??) canon contacts. leliana tries to contact him to be quizzy but he's travelling and misses it, and when noure contacts him on william's behalf and mentions corypheus (ellanis knows about legacy bc william brought noure and anders along) ellanis puts some pieces together and comes to skyhold. he'd already been working to figure out the weird calling (it is and yet isn't the same as the blight he remembered) so he's already a bit aware of the situation. william doesn't stick around for long, basically just long enough to get confirmation ellanis is on his way. even tho he misses varric this isn't his place

adamant goes down wicked different bc ellanis is the fucking HOF. by this time he's developed his magic enough he can pretty much take down all of the wardens within a good 300 foot range just nearly instantly. (a combination of his blight cure research and his natural entropic aligned magic hohohoho) so he makes it to clarel Fast. instead of falling into the fade ellanis (anyone else remember just fucking punching rifts closed in awakening? lol) works with da'ean to open up the rift in the main courtyard and suck the nightmare into the real world. and then he fuckin annhilates it bc he can

WEWH is also different but this time its bc of attie (and morrigan's different now too bc she's been dragged into things by her wife) briala's at the palace yeah, but now she's also got attie waiting in the wings. instead of getting stuck in place by the quizzy attie is able to manuever things to implicate gaspard and celene alone (mostly bc i hate the blackmail on briala it just doesn't vibe well with her character to me). so instead of the shitty options of 'gaspard rules with briala shadowing him' or 'celene and briala end up back together' its 'celene gets put in place by briala and now briala calls the shots'

idrilla romances solas, and as a dreamer she's sure something is fishy but can't figure out what exactly. (until trespasser that is, when she figures it out at the murals) but she provides a good foil to his asshatry and as offical magical advisor steers the inquisition with morrigan's info about the arbor wilds. she knows the rituals and the magic bc she's first and they make it through far faster than in canon, making a quick alliance with the sentinals and beating samson well before the canon battle area.

(linayel romances cass but their story is still quiet and vague as of yet but linayel mostly remains in skyhold to help train and strategize)

then da'ean kicks corypshits ass soundly becase that fight Sucks Ass.

#oc ramblings #i've been sitting on making a post about this for awhile anyways tb #h #now i've got one hehehehe #my ocs #my worldstate #just so i don't mcfuckin loose this

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thediverismylove · 5 years ago

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LOVER TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW

i forgot that you existed — don’t like the beginning she sounds like a robot lol. “in my feelings more than drake”??? girl no thank you. not a big fan of this song. 3/10. fave lyric is “it isn’t love / it isn’t hate / it’s just indifference”; least fave is “in my feelings more than drake, yeah”.

cruel summer — love the production on this one! her voice sounds really good and i love the way she sings “cruel summer”. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “so cut the headlights / summer’s a knife / i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone”; no least fave lyrics here!

lover — the TENDERNESS of this song! love how easy and pretty and acoustic it it is. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “my heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue / all’s well that ends well to end up with you”; no least fave again!

the man — okay “when everyone believes you / what’s that like?” wig! also when she’s like if i was a man…….then i’d be the man…….and the synths do That in the background? it does feel very Feminism 101 in the verses but the chorus is fun! idk i expected more from this one and it’s def fun but not an all time fave. 6/10. fave lyric is “i’m so sick of running as fast as i can / wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man”; least fave is “and they would toast to me, oh, let the players play / i’d be just like leo in saint tropez”.

the archer — SO gorgeous and vulnerable! love the gentle and introspective vibes of this one and how simple the backing track is. her voice is so pretty in this one! would love to hear this totally acoustic. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years”; least fave is the pre-chorus bit that’s similar to humpty dumpty you know the one lol.

i think he knows — ugh hate the intro again talky-singing works well for her sometimes but it really doesn’t work here. very bored by this one. it feels like it’s trying so hard to be fun but it doesn’t have particularly interesting instrumentals/synths/whatever and her voice is way too talky-singy for me here. the last chorus is kinda fun but not enough to fix the whole song. 4/10. favorite lyric is “he got my heartbeat / skipping down sixteenth avenue baby”; least fave is “he got that boyish look that i like in a man / i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans”.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince — pretty intro! the talky-singing works a little better for me here. the pageant/prom conceit is fun. very amused by her still comparing her adult life to high school prom considering she left high school at like what 15/16 for music? jdeasjkkjcskjn it’s fun tho this song is fun. i have a feeling this one will grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “we're so sad, we paint the town blue / voted most likely to run away with you”; least fave is the “she’s a bad bad girl bit” lol

paper rings — ooh fun intro! like whatever effect they have over her voice. this one has a really cool beat. like the kiss me once/kiss me twice bit. the chorus is really sweet! the tune is very dance-worthy. i could def see this being played in a romcom (cue me adding it to the playlist for my gay summer camp romcom). didn’t expect to like this one so much but i’m enjoying it a lot so far! idk abt the lyrics im not even listening that closely jfekwjakjnkjn i just love the beat and the effect they have over her voice. also can’t stop thinking about when rey @theglowpt2 said “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” sounds something the try guys would shout at each other lmfao. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “darling, you’re the one i want / and paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams / oh, you’re the one i want”; least fave is “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” bc of aforementioned try guys energies making it humorous instead of cute as intended for me.

cornelia street — like her voice in the intro it sounds very pretty and soft! don’t like the weird synth thing going on at the beginning tho it’s giving me a headache. don’t like the way she launches into the chorus it feels very abrupt. “we bless the rains on cornelia street” lol is this a toto ref? this one is pretty underwhelming ngl. her voice is pretty in some places here though. would probably enjoy an acoustic version of this a lot more. 6/10. fave lyric is “and baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name”; no least fave lyric but i hate those loud synth things at the beginning more than anything.

death by a thousand cuts — totally thought this was gonna be a song about like. bitter ~haters~ or smth by the title. her voice is really pretty after the “my my my” bit! love the synths in this one. the line about the traffic lights…...wig! okay totally expected to not like this one but i kinda like it. laughing at her going “UNITED WE STAND” tho lmfao. this one will def grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know”; least fave is “our songs, our films, united we stand / our country, guess it was a lawless land”.

london boy — oh excited for the absolute INSANITY of this one girls! DID SHE JUST REFER TO HER HOMETOWN AS SOCAL GIRL YOU ARE FROM PENNSYLVANIA!!!!! also so amused about she needs to reference the fact that she is american and her bf is british so many times. if i heard this song out in public i’d have to die. did she make a p!atd ref lol. unfortunate as hell but it’s kinda fun. 4/10. fave is none of it; least fave is all of it.

soon you’ll get better — oh this one is gonna make me SOB i just know it!!!! the vulnerableness of it all. thank you for a song about family ms taylor! the harmonies w the dixie chicks i’m ascending. this one is so so gorgeous and heartbreaking and the first song off this album that actually really made me Feel Something. 10/10. fave lyric is “the buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair / in doctor’s office lighting / i didn’t tell you i was scared”; no least fave!!! She’s Perfect

false god — intro is fun! i like her voice in this one it’s #sexi. the line abt being nyc is funny lol…..girl what does that mean you are not a town what does that MEAAAAN. taylor swift said YES i fuck what about it in this song. the line about being the west village…...what does that mean? he’s expensive??? 6.5/10. fave lyric is “the altar is my hips / even if it’s a false god / we’d still worship this love”; least fave is “staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town / i’m new york city, i’d still do it for you, babe”.

you need to calm down — i REFUUUUSE to listen to this song all the way it’s so corny and ridiculous. taylor rly thot she was doing smth w this one. 3.5/10. no fave lyric; least fave is like. ALL of it it’s very cheesy.

afterglow — pretty vocals! love me some vulnerable songs. not much to say about this one lol. i like the chorus a lot. 7.5/10. fave lyric is “fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves / chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us / why'd I have to break what i love so much?”; least fave is “tell me that it’s not my fault / tell me that i’m all you want / even when i break your heart”.

me! — unpopular opinion but i actually prefer me! to yntcd. idk why i just feel like me! knows how ridiculous and silly it is but yntcd does not. maybe that’s just me tho? 4/10. can’t believe she killed the best line of all time aka “hey kids spelling is fun”...that was HILARIOUSLY BAD AND WONDERFUL AT THE SAME TIME. that would’ve been the fave; least fave is the awkward uncomfortable space where “hey kids spelling is fun” used to be.

it’s nice to have a friend — very forgettable. her vocals here are pretty but the song overall is nothing special imo. do like the dreamy vibes tho! 4.5/10. fave or least fave lyrics tbh it’s just boring to me pretty but boring.

daylight — WHY is taylor swift so obsessed w/ mentioning that some of her friends turned out to be dicks. absolutely OBSESSED w/ that edit that’s like “i wounded the good and trusted the wicked” over katy perry and karlie kloss respectively it’s peak comedy. very pretty vocals but has some unfortunate lyrics! 5.5/10. fave lyric is “i, i just think that / you are what you love”; least fave is “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air, i breathed in the smoke”.

overall: probably like a 6.5/10? had some really great tracks like lover & the archer & soon you’ll get better but also some BAD ones like me!, yntcd, and i forgot that you existed. it was a fun time but not an all time fave. in terms of tswift album rankings i’m not sure where i’d put it yet get back to me on that one. anyways i’m gonna go listen to lucy dacus now bye

#taylor swift #lover #lover review #enjoy lads.....

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frunatic-fanfic · 6 years ago

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the end of a dream ?

Hell yes, A NEW CHAPTER FINALLY

To everyone who is still reading , thank you so much ! I know it has been a while but I’ll update more frequently now. There’s no John in this chapter but he’ll be back soon, I promise <3 Enjoy and leave some feedback to keep me motivated :)

„ No it’s fine really. I dont need to talk right now or anything. I just want to take a shower and sleep and forgett about everything for a while“ While you speak these words your best friend Rony looks at you with a worried expression on her face , knowing that the Jolene shes been a friend to for over 12 years is again just trying to run away and surpress her sadness and anger just to hurt herself once again even more.

After a last minute flight from west to east coast and feeling trapped inside a plane packed with just all of the very few things you owned, you made it to New York City and got picked up at the airport by your best friend Rony who moved to new York to start a carreer as a designer here.

„ Jolene… what the hell hapened? Just talk to me for a minute. I mean… YOu called me this morning sounding like you were actually panicing and 8 hours later youre standing in my aparement, looking like Ozzy Ozbourne from the mascara dried all over your cheeks. I mean I get that you want to sleep but so do I – the thing is knowing my best friend must have gone through some insan shit to step into a plane to travel to New York so fast must be serious. Just give me a hint at least.“

You sob again and wipe away some fresh tears coming from your eyes. All you see in your head is John standing in front of you in that supermarket , mumbling, stuttering, but really – not saying anything that could help you cope with that feeling of being left, of being „not enough“ of being… just something that could be replaced by something better anytime.

„well…it’s just… John and I broke up…“ „Wait…you mean THAT John? John Frusciante eh? The time you were at the hospital we didnt really have a lot of contact and that time was a mess here too, moving from california to NYC is hell, … Im sorry I wasnt there enough for you! But i did get your letters and well, Kevin used to listen tot he Red Hot Chili Peppers a lot so of course that name wasnt a strange one to me. Oh man, Jolene had tu bump into a lost rockstar for sure…“ „ yeah… I wish I hadn’t…“ „Did he do anything bad to you?“ „No,…I mean Rony I… I was seriously so in love with him, the time we spent together in rehab felt like a dream. The both of us got better and the more time we spent, the more it felt like we didnt really need there bad, self destructive habbits anymore. It was unsure how our relationship would go on after our treatment there but at that point, it felt like it was sure we’d stay togehter….and…“ You start crying again as you think of John hugging you and kissing you when you first met again with Flea down at Venice Beach. „ well, through all the time I thought we could be together and I had finally found someone to be with, to look after me, someone I could be the center of his life for but….“ „Wait Jolene. Stop for a second. He is John Frusicante. And well, we all must have heard the news by now, he’s back in the band and they’ll have a big comeback later this year. I know how much you’re longing for that one person centering his life around you but I dont think that would be a healthy relationship for either the two of you and… it definitely wont be a rockstar on the rise…“ You see your tears fall onto the wooden floor of Ronys flat while hearing her words. Of course. Sure she was right. That childish naive wish of being the reason for someone being alive was just irrational and impossible to be true. Yet you had been holding on to it for so long. Maybe because for you, many times in your life you didnt feel like you wanted to be alive – you just kept on existing for other people.

„Hey…Ill make us some ginseng tea and we’ll sit down on the couch and talk for a bit. I understand that you’re feeling a lot of pain right now. You feel left behind and like you were not worthy enough to someone you loved to let you stay the one thing with the highest priority in his life. At least you think and feel like that. But come on. You’ve learned a lot in therapy. Your habbit of seeing everything in either black and white, the fact that youre always clinging onto a person you love and never want to let them go, make your whole life depend on them like they’re god… We both know where these feelings and behaviours come from, right?

„Are you talking about that… Borderline Personality Disorder I got diagnozed with?“ „We both know. Look, I cant fully understand what ist like to be you, with that mindset of yours. I dont know what its like to feel all these waves of anxiety about being left alone and not good enough to be loved. But these things combined with that strong sense of envy you get everytime someone does not pay all their attention to you will make you unable to have a happy relationship forever. I dont know the full story, but seen from a rational point I think ist great that John joined the band again. You told me in your letters how passionate he looked when he was playing guitar. You wrote in one of your letters that it seemed like he was drifting into another dimension while playing for you. And now that man has made it to recover fully. He’s back in his band and can do what he loves the most. Isnt that something you would wish for him if you really loved him?“

All the while Rony was speaking to you, you couldnt say anyhting. She was so right. Your head always kept messing with you. Growing up with abusive and alcoholic parents that never showed you even a little hint of love you kept searching for that love in every relationship you ever had- clinging onto your partner, manipulating him and controling him to make sure he couldn’t leave – and of course, these things would always make you end up alone.

„Did John have the chance to say anything about this? I mean If you spent some time togehter before you all of a sudden descided to come here, he sure must have had an own point of view about the whole thing?“ „yeah… he…He tried to speak but I wouldnt let him.. I just ran..away..“

Rony facepalmed herself. „ Thats so classic you. I love you, you’re my best friend . But not giving him a chance to speak,not fair.“

It hurt to talk to Rony about all of this because it made you realize that you overreacted in an irreversible way. Looking back now, your reaction was far away from any logical, ratioanal thing to do and just a typical , impulsive and panic „solution“ to a problem that you had made out in your head.

„We cant do much about all of this now Jolene. Im glad you descided to come here instead of doing some bad shit to yourself again. Kevin and I broke up so there’s one room free here. If you can help me with the rent you can stay as long as you want.“ „wow, i Have like no money at all at the moment“ „yeah.. you’re in new york. We’ll get you a job somehwere. We’ll get through this.“

As you lay down in the bed Rony had prepared for you , your best friend sits down on your bed for moment again looking at you „Heads up girl. We got this.“ „ Do you….do you think John and I will ever meet again? It feels wrong seeing it end like that but…“ „He’s a rockstar. I guess you’ll just have to turn on your TV“ „Thats not what I meant…“ „I know you idiot.“ Rony laughs, but imideatly realizes that jokes are no good idea right now.

„ I hope you can maybe meet again. But for now, let time pass. You’re in New York now and he is in California. Maybe you should give up these california dreams for now. We’ll find you a job and maybe a good therapist. And thats really all that matters now. You, being okay.“

Before You fall asleep you keep on seeng John in your head. The shock in his eyes. Like he knew how much he’d hurt you. Looking back now,it didnt seem like he looked like he got ‚caught‘ but more like he was worried about you and how seeing his face on that magazine would make you feel. And the moment he tried to say something…you just cut him off. You didnt give hime a chance to speak…. What if.. what could have been….

No. Give up your california dreaming for now, Jolene.

#johnfrusiante #john #frusciante #red hot chili peppers #anthony kieidis #fanfic #frufic #rockfic #fanfiction #fru #froosh #doof #californication

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upsetokaiba · 6 years ago

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i beat kh3 and oh boy do i both love it and am kinda just :/ towards some of it

thoughts under the cut (and its gonna have spoilers so pls dont look if u avoiding them)

first, my gripes:

the story is fukin wild, which i expected from kh3 dont get me wrong, but u can rlly tell what parts nomura was just like “what do i do with this”. KAIRI AND NAMINE IN FUCKING GENERAL are the biggest damn example of this. i already dont like how theyre written in kh, but my god nomura had a chance to fix it and he didnt, its now objectively a lil worse. kairi is reduced to a damsel in distress AGAIN after showing some potential of improving that with her training with lea/axel, which rlly fuckin stings. shes in ONE on screen battle actually fighting, the other battle she’s in? doesnt fight, sits on the sidelines protecting a knocked out axel and then getting whooshed away. she’s always been the implied love interest for sora, and nomura rlly just reduces her to tht in the end on top of the damsel in distress. namine is in the game, but its p much a blink and ull miss it. the most interaction she has with someone is with sora in the final world as a star. the next time shes shown is being waking up and being whisked away by riku n then playing on destiny islands. she had no plot relevance and she also doesnt have a reunion with her friends like everyone else got, which is p sad to me. these girls deserve better smh.

the gimmicks in some worlds are p meh, the one i hated at first was the ship battles in the carribean, but it grew on me during my trophy hunting. the hundred acre wood mini games are so boring and forgettable, and i would argue that the world is too. u literally pop in, help them gather food, then pop out after reassuring pooh tht sora will always be in his heart. they dont explain why their bond got weaker at all.

the ultima weapon in this is stupid to get bc its locked behind annoying minigames for most of those orichalcum+ materials. theres also one locked behind a long gummi ship boss battle so that sounds horrible and im not looking forward to it lol

i played on proud and i found it isnt really....difficult. aside from me not using block bc i always wanna be hitting things, it was fairly easy to beat. its a shame really.

let me play as the other keybladers other than sora aqua and riku thanks

enough with my gripes, now for what i love about it:

I KNOW I WAS SUPER CRITICAL ABT NOMURA’S WRITING IN THIS ONE BUT I STILL LOVE IT. EVERYONE REUNITES WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABT THT IT MAKES ME TEARFUL!!!! MY GIRLFRIEND AQUA IS BACK AND HER HAPPY FAMILY IS (mostly) WHOLE AGAIN!! THE SEA SALT TRIO LIVES AGAIN!!!! ISA AND THE TWILIGHT TOWN GANG JOIN IN ON IT!!!! I CRY!!!!!! THEYRE ALL BACK AND IM SO HAPPYYYYYY

the music in the game is just so SO SOOOO GOOD. yoko shimomura did another excellent job with the themes and the arrangments, her music just makes me so emotional ;;;;;;

i rlly wish i was kidding when i said i was up at 4am crying bc of the ending. the implications it has left me with an immense sadness and the whole thing was bittersweet, so im glad the secret movie might be implying that theres much more after this. nomura u put him back now or i swear to god ill find u and cRY REALLY LOUDLY UNTIL U DO

NEW OUTFITS!!! xion’s new outfit is my fave its so cute

the game is rlly pretty, like holy shit. it runs fairly smoothly for looking like it does, i only rlly got frame drops in the carribean air boss. the nice models for pre rendered cutscenes look so cute

NEW UTADA HIKARU MUSIC, the orchestra version of dont think twice is so pretty, cant wait to hear it during the world of tres concert in june

the worlds were pretty enjoyable, i adored the toy story monsters inc and san fransokyo worlds so much. the trio were rlly cute in the carribean too even if tht world was rlly meh to me. all these disney characters having no clue what any of the darkness villains are talking abt keeps me young. the way sully and mike deal with vanitas is hilarious, the way sora and co are just kinda THERE during elsa’s let it go song, hiro please i beg of you let me have a baymax PLEASE

riku’s reaction to mickey saying aqua was like sora is hilarious as well

the combat feels so GOOD, the keyblade switching is so fun, and how magic works in this game is soooo good and apparently broken lol

THEY GAVE SORA A PHONE. THEY TOLD HIM COMPUTER STUFF AND THE POOR BOY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT. “I don’t computer.” -Sora 2019

there is so much snark and im absolutely loving it

axel looks so good in this game, i have never been an axel lover as much as i am after playing kh3, i am now a newly inducted axellover69

im glad this wasnt the end for kingdom hearts, bc while yes its been a while, kingdom hearts is one of my favorite series, and i couldnt imagine it stopping with 3 even when 3 was announced. I know itll end one day, but im glad today isnt that day.

im sure i missed a bit but all in all, even with its flaws, i love kh3

#mochii talks #hi if this shows up in tags im sorry this has complaints in it along side what i loved #i love kh3 very much but yea its got some issues i wanna talk abt #this rlly turned out to be much more text heavy than i wanted it to be lol #kh3 spoilers / 654651

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sometipsygnostalgic · 6 years ago

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xenoblade chronicles 2 rapidfire review

π after i started writing up a 5000 word review and was still on the “character” section ive decided to make a rapidfire version to get to the fucking point.

Story - at the end of the day, it’s a tale about how to deal with all the pain and insecurity that life throws at you. how to dig down deep and find a way to continue in what you may interpret as a dreadful world. it also has some of the most satisfying mysteries and plot resolutions i’ve ever seen in a videogame. utterly touching themes. unfortunately gets a bit too shonen at points especially with the protagonist. also quite possibly a lowkey harem anime.

Story rating - 8 out of 10.

Characters - mostly all amazing in the english version.

Rex - a top lad. your best mate. however, becomes a total flawless gary stu pretty quickly. better than many protagonists out there. i like the way he gets people to open up by acting so casually friendly around them. 7 out of 10.

Pyra - unfortunately the weakest character in the main cast. has 3 forms that are treated as different characters for some reason, and no emotions beyond “sad” and “in love with rex”. her mythra form is a slightly better character who will talk to other cast members and sass down people. however mythra also comes across as weak and overly emotionally fragile at times, considering she is supposed to be the Master Blade. i suspect she exists for rex to have 4 3 girlfriends at once.

Azurda - dragon grandpa. subversive in that when he dies for the hero to move on from the homeland, he immediately resurrects himself as a cute furry thing that sleeps in rex’s helmet. best videogame decision ever. gives top advice.

Nia - welsh. double furry. how old is she? 6? most useful NPC. swears a hell of a lot. hilarious sassmaster with an intriguing story and well-rounded motivations. consistently interesting relationships with other cast members up to the end of the game. even remains the same after receiving her compulsory magical girl transformation. has the most awesome magical girl transformation. gives the main villain super cancer, causing him to blow up like harry potter’s aunt. probably the best character. lightly orbits the black hole of the rex harem, struggling to maintain geostational stability against the powers of fanservice.

Dromarch - a good dad cat. there is not a lot else to say about dromarch, except that you can ride him, which is badass. he and azurda are the old dad types babysitting the kids.

Tora - meh meh. actually likable mechanic child. why is this furry cat thing a key member of my party. despite rarely ever upgrading his blade he has made me basically immortal many times. nopon mask is underrated. masterpon is same at start of game as at end of game. that is to say he is an ambitious child, and a bit of a pervert. however, has terrible taste in upgrades. has many IRL blades pointed at him.

Poppi - poppi artificial blade who speak like masterpon. poppi α has cool design. poppi α adorable and cool. due to being newborn blade, poppi have refreshing and truthful view on world. poppi have tragic artificial sister who almost die terribly after evil nopon brainwash! poppi have most sad heartbreaking scene at end of game. however, poppi QT and poppi QT π designs can die in big fire. poppi good at throwing shade. it endearing and special trait.

Morag - technically the group normie. however, very weird. when you first see morag she reeks of pure chilled badassery. logical and with a strong sense of justice and compassion, morag starts off as an intimidating antivillain but becomes a staple member of the party. even though rex and the gang are fugitives in her city, she lets them leave because she senses they weren’t crooked ruffians and they had a purpose of their own. but she comes back to kick their ass when she thinks they’re causing more trouble, and is actually quite pissed off about rex and pyra holding back on her. has a sweet relationship with the emporer, her distant cousin/adoptive kid brother. morag learns on her adventure the value of the optimistic views the kids around her have of the world, and says multiple times if more people thought like they did, maybe there wouldn’t be so much political nonsense stopping people from living together peacefully. morag has a lot of pride and cannot deal with being oneupped. i love her.

Brighid - Morag’s wife blade who is one of many that struggles with the thought of losing her identity after regenning. has a diary of her past lives. uses it to taunt mythra about that one time she kicked her ass. pretends to be a little distant but low key super emotionally invested in the cast’s development. literally asked a main villain if she was like her past self that he knew, causing him to reconsider his entire philosophy on blades becoming completely different people when they’re reborn. bitchslaps rex that one time. Owns everybody at some point. such a beautiful character design that i never even noticed her chest is basically bare.

shellhead Zeke - the prince... of NOTHING. wishes he was still a student. that one time he nearly died, he was probably impaled by a falling twig. enjoyed playing Team Rocket. surprisingly wise for a teenlike NEET. does not look after his precious turtle. potentially does have a thunder powered eye. however, definitely requires second contact lens. unfortunately not comparable to rex in combat especially as his Luck stat means using a legendary crystal on him is like throwing it away.

Pandoria - i often forget pandoria is a blade because she is zeke’s girlfriend, also i never use her in battle due to his redundentness. well reknowned for also not looking after turtles properly. also well reknowned for slam dunking the prince over his nonsense while being equally silly.

BAD GUYS

Jin - apparently has special people-drawing trait that makes all the good cast who know him shocked he is ordering such evil bastard things to happen. not entirely sure what that trait is. emo about much bad stuff that happen to him and his driver. wishes to never forget his life with his driver. dirty child killer.very aniime. why is he the only flesh eater whose core turns red? okay character with decent enough motivation. was confused as to why Malos was following him until the very end.

Malos - evil bastard. cheesy villain. you can kick his ass many times and he will get back up 3 minutes later and laugh at you while swallowing back the bile of a bitter defeat. is actually a little tragic by the end of the game. dies for no reason. makes morag jealous because he found his purpose in life, though im not sure what that is.

Akhos - N3RD. probably the most likable member of Torna. had a silly Blade companion who he was really upset died. i like how he was sentimental about his ‘sister’ blade.

Patroka - most forgettable Torna member. a little bit tsundere.

Mikhail - grew on me significantly at the end though like Akhos and Patroka his backstory was unceremoniously dumped on your lap at the last second. must be a great fan of Prince Zeke as he’s heard of the term Blade Eater. also why has Mikhail got awesome blade powers and immortality when Zeke hasnt? maybe Mikhail is “possessing” the blade per se.

Amalthus - emo bitch. stared God in the face and raised his middle finger. hypocritically creates flesh eaters then sends witch hunts out for them. i like that he reminded himself every day about how bad humanity was by doing his best to help people. so despite the praetor being this “benevolent” figure he had somehow manifested a being of pure hatred.

Theres a lot of other people I cant be assed talking about right now.

Character rating - 9 out of 10. Even though some important characters arent as impactful as they should be, everybody is memorable and I can remember all of their damn names and backstories.

Gameplay - not particularly amazing. battles are alright, RPG-wise, with orb breaking combos and cancelling being fun to use. but they’re highly limited by the fact you can only control 1 character at a time and there is no Co-op feature. they also take an incredibly long time, even for just one enemy encounter, and there can be unfair Spike damage moves that oneshot you. my most satisfying moment battling ever was when i was fighting Aeon, the final boss, and got a Full break for the first time... I decimated the fucker when he was at 60% health.

Of course, those are just the battle mechanics.

The game is full of complex mechanics that do nothing but add tedium. Every single quest in the game forces you to farm for certain “collectibles”, plants that grow in specific unlisted locations that respawn when you fast travel. Many character “affinity” upgrades, which can lock out certain areas of the map, special skills, or unique interactions, also require you to do this shit. A guide is NECESSARY for this. There’s also the Merc Missions. Little did you know, you will need to complete Merc Missions to reach the end of many blade quests!!!you know what’s FUN? Waiting for a timer to pass after 25 fucking minutes!!!! this game has NO RESPECT FOR YOUR TIME WHATSOEVER.

the biggest bullshit of all is when you’re locked out of the main story because a specific character on your team hasn’t unlocked level 3 of a specific skill, because there’s no way that you’d be able to unlock that by naturally playing the game as you have to go out of your way to fill the criteria and grind something or other for 20 minutes.

This makes sidequests absolutely worthless.

The saving grace for the gameplay is probably the customizability of the blades themselves. Not so much the skills you can attach to each blade, but that you can unlock a number of fun characters to use, and they will have their own unique dialogue. The drivers and blades talking during battle also makes a 20 minute fight feel a lot quicker.

Battle gameplay mechanics: 6 out of 10. Fun but could be better. Sidequests, crafting, and field skill mechanics : 1 out of 10. Worthless trash that should never have been greenlit.

Considering that you will be spending so much time on the gameplay, why even bother playing the game at all?

It’s very much the story that pushes the player to move onwards. If this game didn’t have such a fun cast and meaningful plot then I’d probably not have gotten past the first act.

Music and Environments - Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is filled with vast, beautiful and diverse environments. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of interactivity with them other than killing monsters or foraging those bloody collectibles, but they’re beautiful enough with a diverse range of monster inhabitants that give them life. The MUSIC is godlike. My favourite track in the game would be the song used for the city in Tantal. Very ominous and beautiful hymn, sung in English.

Music and environment rating - 8 out of 10.

Localisation - While many sneer at the localisation choices for this game I thought it brought it to life. Granted I have great bias as being a Welsh girl who is familiar with the differences in UK regional dialect, but it felt like the dialogue the characters were saying also had a heavy makeover to fit the new voices... I really don’t believe that Rex’s Japanese voice actor also sounded like a Top Lad, or that Nia’s japanese voice actor sounded as much like she was ready for a valleys bar fight. However there are some clear obstacles as well - the characters seemed to have no idea of the context of their lines. This is obvious when they shout something for a long time. Rex’s “HIYAAAAAAAAH” and Nia’s “NOOOO MOOOOORE” sound comically off-tone when they are supposed to be epic. It’s the works of someone who read those lines off a script without knowing what was going on. Tora’s actor saying “meh meh” sounds like it was meant to be a COMPLETELY different noise. Morag and Zeke never go off-course, however. I think either they had an advantage with more visuals being completed by the time they were cast, or they just don’t have diverse enough dialogue in the game for it to have been an issue.

Localisation - 7.8/10 too much Meh.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Xenoblade chronicles 2 is a highly addictive game that pulls you to the finish line with an interesting plot and a cast you just can’t let go of. While Pyra is certainly the weakest link of the characters, and the game has some extremely goofy shonen scenes that it’s hard to take seriously, and oh dear me that’s an awful lot of boob shots, I had a lot of fun powering through it. I’m going to have a tough time letting go of this story and these characters.

Unfortunately the gameplay itself is not similarly addictive, and becomes more of a chore for you to get to the next cutscene or funny interaction.

Final rating - 6.5 out of 10. While a worthwhile experience, the greatest story in the world cannot save this game from piss-standard design choices. It is probably better to spend your time on a game that doesn’t have anti-fun mechanics. But I’d be hard pressed if any had a cast that touched your hearts quite like that of Xenoblade Chronicles 2.

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