#im really unhappy at work n i wanna quit

[phagodyke]

ughhhh

[love-belle]

you're losing me !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's losing him and he's not fighting for her either.

or

for when you lose someone you thought you'd spend your lifetime with. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader

sequel - i hope i never lose you ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - my heart broke while writing this :// still, i hope u like it!! lmk if u want a part ii though i'll write it anyway. i love you, thank you for reading <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, yourbestfriend, lilymhe and 2,628,926 others

yourusername when the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

9,926 comments

username MOTHER?????

username max :///

username if they break up i simply give up, it's that easy x

lewishamilton sending you hugs and love from me and roscoe ❤️

-> yourusername missing you both ❤️

username guys............what if they did b word u word ?

-> username don't spread lies 😘😘😘

-> username they break up and i stop believing in love ☺️

lilymhe i could be a better boyfriend just saying 😮‍💨

-> yourusername you're already my wife 😘

username we really went from "the first flowers he ever brought me became my favourite" to "when the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst" huh

username im just gonna ignore this!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 897,628 others

maxverstappen1 pole position!!

very happy that we managed to put the best bits together for qualifying today! great work by everyone in the team redbullracing & hondaracingglobal 👏

looking forward to be racing again tomorrow 👌

7,972 comments

username NO Y/N????????

username im delulu

username is it just me or did he not seem really into it like idk

-> username if me and my fiancée broke up i'd be the same

danielricciardo proud of you mate! 👏

username need y/n to comment rn so i can be at peace

username nice prank guys 😐😐 REALLY funny 😐😐😐

username NO BC THE WAY HE ALMOST MENTIONED Y/N WHILE TALKING TO A REPORTER BUT STOPPED HIMSELF

-> username NO BC MY HEART BROKE SEEING

-> username they're really over huh

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by f1_wags, formulaone.updates, maxverstappen111 and 78,926 others

f1newzzz formula one driver, max verstappen and singer/songwriter y/n y/l/n called it quits on their engagement, source close to the pair claimed. "they just wanted different things, their goals weren't aligning," the source explained, "marriage had seemed like the picture perfect ending at that time, when max had proposed, but in the long run, they both would've been very unhappy." though the exact reason for their split isn't very clear, many speculate that it was actually verstappen who ended their 11 month engagement. for more details, click on the link in our bio.

479 comments

username ur telling me that the woman who wrote "your past and mine are parallel lines, stars all aligned and they intertwined" about her man wanted "different things"??????? ok.

username max i just wanna talk ☺️☺️☺️

username no bc they were so in love everyone could see it

username she did not write "i don't wanna look at anything else now that i saw u" for u to write this fucking shit post

username "she's been my rock, my biggest supporter, my proudest fan and im very grateful for her, forever will be. i don't deserve her and i don't know what good i did to have her in my life but im very glad i do" NO WAY HE BROKE UP WITH HER

username idk man if u write 3+ albums about someone and stuff like "all that u ever wanted from me was sweet nothing" or "all's well that ends well to end up with u" the universe should it impossible for u to break up

username just a daily reminder that u should drink rat poison before falling in love bc it never works out

username the day i stopped believing in love

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lilymhe and 2,865,628 others

yourusername you're losing me is finally yours. this is easily the most vulnerable, heartbreaking, raw and personal song that i have ever written and sharing it with you all is like sharing a big piece of myself. you are, at some point in their life, at a place where you're begging someone to love you the way you love them and i think that's a saddest thing someone can do, i've been there. this song is a messy compilation of my feelings, my thoughts and the enigma in my mind, i hope you like it. and finally, to that one person, thank you for being my forever. it was real.

16,829 comments

username I WOULDN'T MARRY ME EITHER A PATHOLOGICAL PEOPLE PLEASER WHO ONLY WANTED YOU TO SEE HER

username the way we went from "i'd marry u with paper rings" to "i wouldn't marry me either"

username DO SOMETHING BABE SAY SOMETHING

danielricciardo in awe of you and your talent 🤍🤍🤍🤍

-> yourusername danny i heart you

username no bc what really hurts is that throughout her albums and songs she's always been like "i can't wait to marry you!!!!" like from lover and paper rings and now it's hinted that max didn't wanna marry her and the way she's trying not to blame him by saying "i wouldn't marry me either"

-> username "she would've made such a lovely bride what a shame she's fucked in her head" to "i wouldn't marry me either"

username the way that some people were saying that they got married secretly and the whole time they were broken up and she still continued to act like everything was fine like my heart's hurting for her

username "thank you for being my forever, it was real" IM CRYING IH NY GKD

carmenmmundt the most talented person i know 🤍 i love you so much y/n/n

-> yourusername you own my heart 💌

username the 1 is gonna start hitting different now

-> username "it would've been fun if u would've been the one"

username her heartbeat in the song i died.

username thinking about "he didn't try at all though" vs. "do something babe say something"

[ayarambles]

.

[wehatejulietsimms]

A/N: i'm gonna respond to this in sections bc it's quite long so bare with me.

Howdy y’all, 🤠 again. Yes, I didn’t in fact die. I’m sorry though that I kept getting sidetracked and couldn’t submit this until now, my boss decided to keep dumping her work into my lap. So I just wanna preface this by stating that I’m going to try and say what I want to as coherent as possible, but I have pretty severe ADHD so I’m not always as easy to understand as I think I am in my head, and I often go off on tangents, over explain things and circle back to topics randomly without realizing. Im basically going to go over their relationship over the years as I said previously (I’m not gonna go into detail about every single scandal and shitty thing Juliet did over the years, because we’d be here all year. so I figure I won’t cover them here, but rather let people ask specific questions if they want to. Remember, I was present for pretty much everything so feel free to ask.😊), but I’m also going to do kind of a mini deep dive into Andy’s behavior and actions (because although the snakes will hit you with every excuse in the book, and tell you that you’re looking too far into things and that it doesn’t matter, it does. The way a person acts in general and towards people around them is very relevant when talking about someone’s health, happiness, and well-being.) To start off, let’s take it all the way back to the time before Juliet’s reign of terror, when Andy and Scout were still together. In all honesty from what I saw of them together (and I saw pretty much everything they posted, I’m only a year younger than Andy, and I was quite into him when he was on MySpace and such, and I always watched anything with him and Scout together because they were fucking adorable lol) they had a really healthy relationship. Not once did I get weird vibes from them. The way Andy acted toward and with Scout, you could tell they really loved each other and were happy together. They had nothing to prove. It just was normal. (For any of you who are younger, or didn’t come into the picture until Andy was already post-scout and would like to see some videos of them together, you could generally search on YouTube for it, but also there’s a specific channel on there called like bring the milk tea or something that has videos of old Andy blogs and also Andy and scout on stickam and such. Worth a look if you’re curious) They weren’t constantly all over each other like possessive pack dogs *ahem Juliet ahem* and whenever Andy mentioned scout he didn’t need to shower her in compliments. They both seemed very secure in both themselves and the relationship. Super cute. Initially when they broke up it seemed quite odd. I didn’t really expect it. It got even weirder when he states that he and Juliet are together. It didn’t feel like they fit together at all (and no I’m not talking about from a fame or success perspective. At least not yet lol) As I’ve said I got bad vibes from Juliet right from the get go. Andy already seemed to be acting not like himself. (Also snakeys have argued that it’s just that he’s more mature now and that’s why he acts nervous and constantly looks Ike he wants to die. 🙄 maturity doesn’t mean losing your fucking personality and being unhappy most of the time. Jesus Christ.) it seemed like they got possessive of each other and constantly needed to show people how in love they were. Pictures, videos, and fucking public love paragraphs to show they are, in fact, in a super real relationship and they love each other. It also felt like Andy’s family was in on this whole weird charade.They (Chris honestly) started to defend her degenerate behavior and attack anyone who had even a whisper of negative things to say about her or their relationship. It was like watching a group of awkward, pretty mediocre actors put on a play about them being together. (I’ve hit the text limit now, but there will be more that I will write just after I submit this one though, fear not haha. N, you can either post this now or wait until I submit the rest, it’s up to you.) 1 / ? -🤠

A/N: i was here for a lot of it as well so i do remember some of this. although i did join the fandom shortly after him and juliet got together (i joined like around the time she was on the voice) i literally remember hoping that him and scout would get back together bc juliet just rubbed me the wrong way and i didn't know why at the time. & side note i actually do recommend people go look at old videos of andy and scout they were really adorable. there is this one video of them singing (i think a carrie underwood song lol) in the car and it's really cute. but yeah just bc he's older doesn't mean his whole entire personality changes. you can be any age and act however you want. i could even use jenna marbles & julien solomita (a youtube couple) as an example, they've been together for i think like 8 or 9 years and are about the same age as A&J (julien being around andy's age & jenna around juliet's age) & although they can have mature adult conversations and all of that, they still act like idiots and joke around together. neither of them look uncomfortable or are afraid of saying certain things like andy is around juliet. so andy aging doesn't mean shit in regards to his personality doing a 180.

🤠okay, so part two here we go. (Also I apologize if I get the chronological order of anything I talk about incorrect, I’m a bit scattered sometimes and the next ask I make will be the one where I talk about the domestic abuse and I tend to get quite heated, which only makes my brain function worse lol) so the point at which Andy was trying to get fans to go vote for/ support Juliet when she was on the voice seemed really fishy. I’m all for supporting the work of the people you love, but it’s kinda strange how hard Andy was pushing this at the time. Too hard in my opinion. I’m obviously aware that it was helpful in the end and he more or less got what he was asking for. But it was like he absolutely needed people to vote for her. As if he would get in trouble if they didn’t. So around 2012 or 2013 it felt like things really went down the shitter from there and just got progressively worse. (I never knew why for the longest time, but after they revealed that Vegas wedding that happened in about that time frame, it made a lot of sense.) Andy’s behavior began to change towards his fans. There are a lot of accounts of this happening from fans themselves and a lot of people said that 1. It was worse with Juliet around, and 2. a lot of the time it would happen towards females especially. ( I think more towards the “pretty” fans but don’t count me on that, I don’t know for sure.) This was completely night and day. Especially coming from the same man who used to always defend his fans and once stated something along the lines of he would never have a crazy or awkward fan story because he loves and is grateful for all of his fans and he won’t get upset if they’re just really excited. I would understand if these fans crossed the line in some way (like the later incident of fans finding his address and harassing them, which is unacceptable no matter who the people are) but from most if not all of the fan stories I’ve heard, they didn’t. They were being respectful and didn’t do anything to warrant this happening to them besides showing up. Which brings me to my next point, a lot of these negative experiences were caused by Juliet. Either she was the one being mean to people, she was causing Andy to be mean to people on her behalf, or her presence was upsetting Andy to the point that he was angry and started being rude and irritable. What scares me the most are the accounts of Andy having a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing, depending on weather or not Juliet was present. Happy when he’s free of her and miserable when he isn’t. In videos of him where Juliet is behind the camera he always seems nervous and strange. Like he’s afraid to mess up. That’s fucking alarming to say the least. You would think that the last thing one would want to do if another person brings them this much anger, stress, and anxiety, the LAST thing they would want to do is fucking marry them. Right? He literally started barely smiling at one point and really doesn’t anymore. I mean for Christ’s sake look at his wedding photos. What’s suppose to be one of the happiest moments of your life and to quote another anon with a different ask, he looks like he’s being dragged to the gallows. (And I get really fucking Angry honestly when snakeys tries to pass it off as “oh he’s awkward he doesn’t know how to smile” or “omg he’s being dramatic for the aesthetics” in some pictures, yes. But why the fuck would you look like that in pictures with the “love of your life” who you now regularly write cringy paragraphs publicly professing your love and complete adoration for? Andy knows how to smile genuinely. Ffs he used to. He smiled genuinely when he was a kid, he smiled genuinely with scout, and he smiled genuinely when Juliet wasn’t around. He doesn’t smile when she is there, and if he does, it is pretty much always visibly fake.) So I may backtrack a little later, but right now I want to talk about the fact that Juliet IS an abuser. More specifically, the plane incident. (Word limit. TBC.) 2 / ? -🤠

A/N: yes. 100%. when it comes to the wedding photos i will never understand people (specifically snakeys) writing off his behavior as him "just being dramatic for the aesthetics". is that something he would do in photoshoots? yeah. is it something he may do on stage? sure. something he would do in an interview? maybe. but candid shots of him on one of the "happiest days of his life"? wtf no. & idk why people think that.

🤠 Just before I start, again, with the pictures, I really don’t think that Andy is enough of a self absorbed egotistical dick that he would actually sit there and put on the whole “miserable tough guy” act in every fucking photo he takes. Ah yes, the infamous plane incident. So straight up, Juliet exposed herself as an abuser, and brought out every bullshit excuse in the book (and made Andy go along with them) to try to cover it up. 1. She was drunk. Honestly this is total bullshit. I say this same thing when people defend cheating or any other degenerate behavior with the excuse of intoxication and I will say it now. Being drunk does not make you a different fucking person. It does not change the thoughts in your head. What it does do is impair your ability to make decisions and judgement skills in general. It’s the same reason why people drive drunk. It’s routine. Its what they would normally do. And because they’re drunk, they can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t do that. Juliet gets drunk, she and Andy fight, she wants to hit him, and because she’s drunk she doesn’t think that she shouldn’t fucking put her hands on him. 2. She hit him in “self defense” and he broke her ribs.(There’s several points I have debunking this) first of all let’s get this out of the way, no one on that plane (including the very real witness who just so happened to be an adult film actress (I think?) who you so love to discount because of it) saw him strike her or even touch her at any time. Two, you are in fucking airplane seats sitting right the fuck next to each other with an armrest in between. It would be pretty fucking hard to break your ribs unless they were made of actual glass, or Andy’s real name is Bruce fucking banner. Bones are surprisingly strong and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’d be damn near impossible for him to do that to you, which brings me to three, if he had broken your ribs you would not be fucking standing up, thrashing around, whining like a little bitch, and oh by the way, continuing to abuse your husband for the second time on that flight. Four, you had a miscarriage. (When I was trying to conceive with my husband it was very difficult. I had two miscarriages before I finally had my son. I’m fully aware of how devastating having one is.) which is why if you are not lying (which I fully believe that Juliet would stoop that low just to get sympathy, especially with this big of a scandal. But I don’t actually have proof of this so I will say that it is just speculation on my part) I don’t fucking care. I am not unsympathetic to her if this did actually happen as I said, however, You do not get to make any excuse for putting your hands on another person out of anger. Ever. I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what kind of stress you are under, I don’t care if you are inebriated in any way and I sure as hell don’t care what the fuck you have between your legs. You do not hurt anyone. Point blank period. Five. You are a woman, you can’t hurt him. This one, actually enrages me. We all know your crusty ass pulled this one out (and threw around trump supporters a few times for good measure) because you know damn well how society and the media views and deals with abusive women. Women can abuse. Women who are shorter or weaker than their target can abuse. The fact that there are people who either don’t know that or don’t agree with that is absolutely baffling. Six. The same (I believe) porn actress. Literally saw you beating your own face with the restraints you had to be put in (which by the way flight attendants only ever use restraints as an absolute last resort when someone becomes a danger to the others on board, so she had to be acting absolutely deranged) to give yourself a bloody nose to claim Andy hit you. Then you proceed to act like a child and tell Andy to call your fucking dad. (Which kinda proves that whole Scientology thing honestly) what in the hell. I stg as long as I am breathing I will never let this go. This is actual fucking domestic abuse. (Word limit TBC.) 3 / ? -🤠

A/N: yeah her hitting him "bc she was drunk" was never a good excuse not only for the reasons you mentioned but, also bc let's be real at no point are you ever going to get served enough alcohol on a plane to make you that drunk i don't care what anyone says. also when it comes to the excuse of him "breaking her ribs" does she forget that andy actually did break his ribs a while ago? i think she even visited him when he was recovering so she should know what kind of pain he was in. & if he actually broke her ribs, there's no way she would have even been able to stand bc i know andy sure wasn't able to. he said it was one of the most painful things he's experienced. (i don't think i need to comment on the rest of this. it would just be redundant. you hit the nail on the head with that.)

🤠 I don’t care if it happened just that one time ore more likely is an everyday occurrence. Abuse is abuse and should never be tolerated. Kind of getting away from the plane thing. Andy always seems, as it’s been said on here before, afraid to mess up. Like he might mess up, and make her mad. A common behavioral pattern in abuse victims. He also at this point and for a decent amount of time before, doesn’t seem like he loves her anymore. Like he keeps up appearances and pretends, but it’s like it’s a job he’s forced to do. He’s tired and burnt out but was probably manipulated into staying and juliet is probably clinging for dear life. Also I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but I swear, the veganism and sobering up was just a cover up, most likely formed by either Juliet herself or her fucked up family, after the plane incident to hide their tracks and regain some public favor (because you know, if you advocate for animal rights then you can’t abuse your husband 🙃) Andy never gave a shit before though. Even though it was unhealthy he loved to drink and smoke and was very outspoken about that. And he used to never give a fuck about eating meat or consuming animal products like leather. I mean they’re still selling leather goods ffs. I would get having minor fuck ups because you don’t know any better, but it’s fucking leather. And now Andy is unhealthy and miserable as ever, but the culprit is malnourishment and Juliet rather than cigs, alcohol, and Juliet. My final thoughts: I do definitely believe in the Scientology theory, but if not that than I definitely believe that Andy was and is being manipulated for his fame. On several occasions it really looked like they broke up, including the time when they did, and then said it was a joke. It really doesn’t feel normal. Also, Juliet doesn’t really care about Andy that much. She never wears her wedding ring, she sells all their shit, including sentimental items, and now that she’s gained more popularity from being with him, suddenly doesn’t want to put him in her bio or write him the same creepy ass paragraphs or anything. It’s fucked up how shes so keen to say she did it all herself when really she’s been riding dick for fame since before she even met Andy. It also always kinda seemed to me that Amy was kind of uncomfortable around Juliet. We all know that Chris loves to kiss her ass night and day (most likely to do with the Scientology thing “if” it’s true), but Juliet and Amy always seemed to have a weird relationship like it was tense and forced. Also I just want to mention the time that Juliet talked about screaming at the woman over what I believe was a game night and brushed it off as being competitive and no one gave damn. Fucked up. To finish off this already way too long little series, I think Andy is a very vulnerable insecure person who got manipulated by several people (not just Juliet) some of whom he probably really trusted, and they helped to get him in Juliet’s (equally if not more insecure) hands so she could hurt him as she pleases. I truly hope that even now both he, and his parents (even though Chris really grinds my gears) can get out of this whole shit show, relatively unscathed. I know this is probably pretty unlikely, but hope springs eternal I guess. As I said feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them best I can. Thank you for reading. 4 / 4 -🤠

A/N: yet again you hit the nail on the head with this part so i don't need to comment too much. other than the fact that i do agree that juliet and amy's relationship does seem weird.

[la-paritalienne]

hellooooo 🍭 how are you?? Just letting you know your fans are waiting for your usual song by song review for Chemtrails 😇 if you want to do one!!!! Xx

😍😭 omgggg this is long overdue :((( i’ve been neglecting my tumblr for a series of reasons – some of which regrettable – and i can’t believe this slipped my mind! please let me know if you see it and thank you for asking. i’m always amazed that someone cares. without further ado!

white dress: i looooove this as an opening track, the breathy voice is perfect and the song sets the tone for the whole album, both vocally and lyrically. the chorus is super catchy and got stuck in my head from the first listen (which was before the album came out hehe), i adore the look how i do this, look how i got this part. downatthemaninmusicbusinessconferece kinda makes me laugh but at the same time it’s iconic and different. also, i wish i could keep this for myself but i feel compelled to say that the way she sings down in orlANdo reminds me of sweet brown’s i got bronCHithis fgkgkkg so yeah funny AND iconic sums it up.

fave lyrics: ‘cause it made me feel, made me feel like a god / kinda makes me feel like maybe i was better off

8,5/10

chemtrails over the country club: this was by far my fave single, although i wasn’t obsessed w it at first as i got after listening to it within the album. from the first line, it just makes your stomach twist in that bittersweet way. i love the laid back production, the lyrics are poignant and gorgeous (there’s nothing wrong contemplating god, i’m not unhinged or unhappy i’m just wild) and i adore how mundane stuff meets poetic imagery, plus the astrology references... not to mention how brave it is to wanna share those placements (jk, no hate). the different vocals, the falsetto, the layering... it’s just so good. also this might be an unpopular opinion but i think the title is genius and i absolutely support this as a title track.

fave lyrics: you’re in the wind, i’m in the water / nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter

9/10

tulsa jesus freak: this was my fave from the first seconds, it’s stunning, bittersweet, i loooove the production (the little autotune over hurry up gives me chills). i can’t even comment properly because i love everything about it.

fave lyrics: like a little piece of heaven, no more candle in the wind

10/10

let me love you like a woman: i think the opening promises more than what the song delivers, especially the chorus is maybe a bit underwhelming? but tbh after a few listens it grew on me too, i love the high notes and the lyrics are sweet. the first line remains my fave part tho, the way she delivers it... also the verses in general, simple and honest and kind of bratty (i guess i could manage if you stay / its just if you do, i can’t see myself having any fun, so), i can’t not love it.

fave lyrics: talk to me in songs and poems / don’t make me be bittersweet

8+/10

wild at heart: this one gives me old lana vibes, like somewhere between ultraviolence and honeymoon, especially the verse – i’m just obsessed w it. the chorus sounds a lot like some other songs of hers, maybe a little too much for me to enjoy it completely (esp mariner’s apartment complex, her vocal runs sound exactly the same??). anywayyy it’s just a very beautiful song. at first i wasn’t particularly bewildered by this album, like i recognised quality but that was it, but after a few listens i have to say it’s impressive how consistently good the songs are.

fave lyrics: i love you lots like polka dots / you’re killing me more

8-/10

dark but just a game: the hidden gem of the album, competes w tulsa jesus freak for the n.1 spot in my heart, actually maybe it holds it rn, i’m just stunned by it. it almost sounds like lizzy grant’s repertoire, but with lana’s maturity and nonchalance. simply a gorgeous reflection on fame. both musically and lirically i just find it impeccable.

fave lyrics: life is sweet or whatever baby

10/10

not all who wander are lost: ok this might be my least fave (spoiler: with the cover), it’s pretty and the lyrics are good, maybe slightly basic? and it just doesn’t stick w me, it kinda sounds like a poem slightly sung? the background music is maybe too feeble and there’s no memorable melody, if it makes sense. however, the look at me, look at you part elevates it quite a bit. (i mean, it’s no ‘how you like that’, but i liked it)

fave lyrics: the thing about men like you is you got a lot to say / but will you stay?

7-/10

yosemite: another not-fave, maybe this and the previous ones kinda feel like fillers to me, like for my taste, i like them and would never skip them if listening to the whole album, but they wouldn’t make a separate playlist. however, the chorus of this is kind of catchy, although the metrics in we did it for the right reasons kind of bug me, idk why! i also find the song a bit too long and monotone! yes to the candle in the wind reference (again!) tho.

fave lyrics: isn’t it cool how nothing here changes at all?

7/10

breaking up slowly: up there w tjf and dark but just a game. why the fuck isn’t nikki lane credited???? she is insane, when she opens she sounds like stevie nicks and her armonies w lana are perfect. the lyrics are simply heartbreaking and the country feel of it all is unexpected and fresh within the album. love love love

fave lyrics: we might be breakin’ up after this song

10/10

dance ‘till we die: spoiler alert, this song kind of bored me until the rock break??? iconic????? it’s still not my fave bc the verses are a bit too slow and unremarkable to me, but That Part just levels everything up.

fave lyrics: but sometimes, this ranch feels like my only friend / and life doesn’t always work out like we planned / we keep it movin’, babe

7,5/10

for free: i love both weyes and zella, although i find the mix of them + lana a bit confusing, like individually i can tell them all apart, but none of them brings the rawness and contrast w lana that other features of hers did (nikki, stevie!!!). also im sorry joni but i really don’t like this song?? maybe the original is amazing and im an ignorant for not knowing it and it was them who made it so boring and lamentous? idk. anyway. it’s a cover so idk if the vote is more for the song or for the production and adaptation or what but yeah. strong lyrics of course, but this is my opinion on this version of it

fave lyrics: and i’ll play if you’ve got the money / or if you’re a friend to me / but the one-man band by thе quick lunch stand / he’s been playin’ real good for free

6-/10

sooo overall i really loved it and some of the songs i particularly liked are among her best ever to me, though that’s like 100 songs by now so, quite a big list. what did you think? again, thank you for caring and sorry for the delay ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[suncatchr]

Heyo if u wanna talk abt ur ocs can u tell me abt the newest ones (or at least the ones that r new to me which is all of them on the last pic of ur oc post I think?) :3

omggg thank you for asking :3 this is long sorry i haven’t organised my thoughts about them yet ahjfklsa but here we go

before i can talk abt rain n evie i have to explain the universe with kes, amaya, and rio. im sure you remember them :3 but umm you said they were based on pacific rim and i don’t know anything abt pacific rim fhjlafnj sooo i made a bunch of stuff up. soooo there’s a parallel universe/alternate dimension full of people and like, monsters. the alt. universe people r testing ways to break into our dimension and open the door permanently so that both dimensions are their domain. the... city...? that the story is set in is like a capitalists’s dream, split harshly between rich and poor with no middle class. the poor faction of the city that will be named soon is the one responsible for keeping the other-dimension-ers out of our dimension, most if not all of them are responsible in some way for keeping their area safe from those tears in the ozone layer. they in return are given technology, money, and supplies from the rich faction. those guys do next to nothing, they operate like any other city where everyone has jobs and pays their dues to the government. they are very strict about who they let into the city; they don’t want outsiders to know about their dimension problem lest they stop the warriors from doing their jobs or do something to make the tear bigger etc etc. they also don’t want poor people in the city, even if they’re responsible for everyone’s safety. I’m thinking of making the story a really obvious allegory similar to older-fashioned dystopian novels like animal farm and brave new world because i’m obsessed with those in concept. so i think supporting characters will be one-dimensional caricatures of types of people in society, and only the MCs will have nuance. this also makes it easier for me to write side characters ;3

so kestrel and amaya are siblings mostly born and raised into monster-fighting. you know when there’s a factory or whatever in town that most people in that city work at? there’s one of those but it’s like... a firehouse for monster fighting. they mostly live and sleep there, they’re fed and clothed here for free so long as they fight and they’re both content with that. I’m not sure what happened to their parents yet but they’re probably dead. not everyone’s parents are dead, some people have families that they live with at the... compound, these two are just tragic and whatnot. families are encouraged to fight together in duos or trios so that loyalty makes them fight smarter and harder to protect each other. when they’re not at the compound, like if they have shifts off or whatever, they live in an abandoned subway station and steal power from the government who’s unaware that that track is unused 😌

so as far as them as individuals, i kept the planets that u based them off of :3 kestrel is based off mars and mars is the planet of action, energy, motivation, temper. kestrel is moody and temperamental, but their choices are never made without careful consideration. they’re a quick thinker and that makes them confident, so they never back down from a challenge. they have a hard time masking their emotions and it’s easy to see what’s going on in their head. they’re hard to embarrass, though, and they’re very confident in most of their assertions. they’re impatient and crabby, but they aren’t at all shy.

amaya is based off venus, so she’s more emotionally rounded than her sibling and more interested in the poetry of life. she’s very expressive and polite, and she has a thing abt maintaining her image. she’s a bit materialistic and self-centred, focused on her looks and her space, but she’s realistic in her material n sensual desires because al things considered she lives in a subway station. she knows what to expect from life, or at least she thinks she does, and is just as confident in her own assertions as kestrel. she’s stubborn and argumentative for that reason, but her confidence makes her a natural leader and people flock to her for advice and assistance. she loves this.

and adrion, based off earth, comes into their lives later. rio used to live on the rich side of town until a second dimension creature escapes the notice of the warriors (i swear they won’t actually be called “warriors” forever 😭) and destroys his part of the city. his family is alright, but the destruction makes him feel like he could do a better job than whoever’s currently there. he leaves his family to join up with the. the compound, and when asked to find a partner to fight with, chooses amaya and kestrel because they’re a top-of-their-class team who are always talking about how things could be better. at first, they don’t want him bc they’re lone wolves and they do not like to be told what to do. but he’s a tough fighter and he’s got the motivation to be good, so they let him stay on the team. as far as personality, rio is really chill and understanding, often willing to let other people’s faults slide. as long as he’s allowed to do what he wants to do, other people can have their way. he’s cheerier than the other two but he’s quieter and more in-the-background. his strong will makes him sensitive and he refuses to change his mind often because he’s quite naive and gullible, making him easy to trick and take advantage of which makes him insecure. this makes him prone to snapping when people put pressure on him.

now for rain and evie. i originally created them as prototypes for their own narrative but the story seemed really similar to my other stuff so i scrapped it BUT i thought the characters themselves worked in this story instead so i kept them :3. rain and evie are brothers who were initially raised in a fighting ring. they live on the poor side of town but they never worked for the compound. they make a living by gladiator fighting, people pay to come in and bet on them and obviously they’re paid for winning fights. rain is an extremely adept fighter and usually manages to beat opponents with brute strength. evie is smaller and less physical and usually fights by using the opponent’s strength against them. they’re simultaneously popular and unpopular in their neighbourhood as they’re like. cool for being good in the ring but they’re really weird otherwise. they’re aggressive, angry and irrational, they act like they’re always in the ring. rain is more sociable and capable than evie, who tends to be reactive and angry. he doesn’t want to be here, but rain is more content in his abilities, so he handles mostly everything so that evie doesn’t have to be responsible for anything. they end up moving on from the ring after evie takes on an opponent that rain tried to tell everyone that he could never beat. evie takes a violent blow to the head that leaves him comatose, and rain spends a huge chunk of money for a piece of technology that replaces the damaged areas of evie’s head and functions in its place. no one tells rain, though, that the thing he put in evie’s head is technology from the other dimension. after the two leave the ring, they decide to make themselves useful and fight the monsters that forced them into this life in the first place.

personality-wise, rain is a laid-back, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. he likes to let things take their course and he isn’t much concerned with proceedings outside of himself and evie. he purposefully denies himself negative emotion and usually tries to fake that everything is good all the time. despite this, he’s emotional and reactive and extremely defensive. he doesn’t like to be challenged or made unhappy and in his dream world he and evie are always just hanging out doing what they want and not having to answer to anyone. people often find him charming bc he’s able to finagle most situations into him getting his way, he’s exceptional with people but he doesn’t like them.

evie is more sullen and droopy. he almost always lets rain do all the talking and he usually appears unconcerned with most goings-on because he’s letting rain evaluate the situation. he’s usually inside his own head, daydreaming or fussing. most of his interactions with others are verbal or physical fights bc he’s unsure how to manage himself without rain around and is often willing to fight for whatever he thinks rain would want. he’s independent outside of that, doesn’t like to be told what to do or how to act. not even rain can calm him down when he’s on his soapbox because he truly believes that if he had to grow up a fighting dog he should be allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants. in downtime he’s usually a little bit more uppity than rain but still similarly laid-back and willing to act like things are okay.

the five of these characters r in the same universe and they go on missions together often, though kes and amaya don’t really get along with rain and evie because they’re all so stubborn.

next are niko and andre, who i got from sammy! we got urban fantasy going on here, and i’m thinking of setting it in like. the mid 1800-s. i’m feeling spicy. umm so i think the key thing about this universe is that “hunters” are a species of humanoid monster. this world is spinning with vampires, werewolves, faeries, demons, etc. pretending to be human in order to survive, and hunters are a mimic species that look human but just... aren’t. they have an insatiable desire to hunt and kill (used to be for food but humans make food more easily accessible), but killing humans makes them vulnerable to being found out. killing other monsters is the perfect substitute, plus humans praise them for it. they’re onto each other but they can’t make scenes in human society so they have to dance around each other to do all of their killing in secret.

andre is a hunter living in the shadow of his older sister, angel. she’s a better, more ruthless hunter than he is, with stronger instincts and a greater prey drive. she’s popular with people in town and generally just more charismatic. he really wants to be like her, but he’s klutzy and insecure and his instincts are poor cuz he overthinks them. one day he comes across niko in a bar and, perceiving him to be human bc he has 0 instincts, they get their flirt on. until niko says something that makes andre realise he’s a vampire. embarrassed and ashamed of his attraction, andre tries to turn his feeling of betrayal into murderous instinct, and he can turn that anger into his first solo kill. niko keeps chasing after andre trying to catch his non-murderous attention because he actually really likes him and doesn’t want to let what they are get in their way.

personality wise, niko is a noisy little wisecracker who likes to be popular. he’s a genuinely nice guy and is famous wherever he goes for being wise and helpful. he’s usually pretty optimistic and very charming, especially in bigger crowds where he can fit in. he can be purposefully oblivious and is very good at disguising his feelings and intentions. he’s witty and sarcastic, often masking negativity for the sake of keeping it light.

andre is a straightforward intellectual type who likes to work and create and achieve. he’s intelligent and steadfast and always strives to do his best (which is why being terrible at hunting is upsetting for him). making achievements kind of replaces his understanding of himself, and not being good at things really digs at his self-worth. he’s not much of a people person but he’s not really shy, either. he’s polite and good-natured, though his feelings are quite fragile.

next generation, same universe, next is honour (whose name HAS to be spelled with the u), journey, and solace. resident throuple. honour and solace are hunters, and journey is human. honour was raised in a big home with lots of hunters under the iron fist of like, the mean nursemaid from annie. they hunt monsters as an organised group, but its a violent institution that doesn’t believe in autonomy nor the worth of human lives. humans exist as something to blend into while they exterminate all other monsters. honour stops believing this when she gets older, mostly due to meeting journey. she assumes journey is just going to be vapid and goofy bc he’s a human, but he ends up being a really cool dude who’s just as in-depth as her and she begins to realise how terrible the lessons she was raised on are.

journey’s family were aware that they were often surrounded by monsters and as such were very protective of him and his siblings. journey never gets to go out and do things, and being stuck in the stuffy comfort of his home is not what he wants to do with his life when he knows there are monsters out there. when he and honour hit it off, they decide to run away together, deciding to shed their upbringings entirely by changing their names to the things they want most.

i set this in the 1800s JUST so that i could have honour and journey use the train to run away. not nice public transit trains, i mean they are riding the dirty rusty rails to seek a better life. they intend to ride a long time to make sure that they’re never recognised. on one of the trains they catch to head north, they come across solace, helping him onto the train as he got there a split second too late to catch it. despite his initial gratitude, solace is unpleasant to ride with. turns out he’s been on the run for most of his life and is just trying to find a place to stay where no one will care that he’s a hunter. in human-only societies hunters are known as mimics and are heavily discriminated against if you’re suspected of being one and straight up killed if you are. after living an uncomfortable life and seeing his father killed, solace decides to go from town to town until he finds a place that’s mostly hunters. when honour reveals they’re looking for the same thing, solace decides to go with them. he’s hesitant to give up his name because it was given to him by his parents, but ultimately he wants to leave that life behind and embody comfort and. yk. solace.

haven’t quite figured these three out personality-wise bc i only finished their designs and names in time for posting the art, rip

and lastly my warriors ocs! I decided to make regular fanclans as opposed to using my existing ocs in an au mostly because i didn’t wanna add in random npcs (as it were) to fill the nursery and elder’s den even tho those r important to clan life. so, i made separate ocs, they live in the arctic! summitclan in the mountains, tundraclan in the plains, and glacierclan by the. glacier. the story so far is a murder mystery, cats of all clans are being killed and going missing and no one knows why. while most warriors assume there’s a bear or fox hanging around the territories, the apprentices saw something while they were hanging out that made them decide to investigate deeper...

our mc is snowpaw, a repurposed rp oc fjdkfjld;af. he’s a summitclan cat and he’s known to be strange and standoffish. he seems cold and apathetic about almost everything and it’s hard to see what he enjoys and dislikes. his secretiveness makes it easy for him to investigate the murders, no one ever questions where snowpaw is going or what he’s doing. with his friends and family snowpaw is a little more jovial, he has very dry humour and is also always trying to help

crowpaw is a tundraclan cat. he’s stuck up and big-mouthed, very arrogant little know it all. don’t ever tell him that, though, bc he’s very sensitive and he will cry. he likes to be seen as the best at everything so he dedicates excess time to learning and is actually a very curious and adventurous cat underneath.

swiftpaw is a glacierclan cat. he’s very mature and is often rumoured to be a great deputy choice when he’s old enough. he’s calm and level-headed, a quick-thinking problem solver with a bit of a superiority complex but not one that anyone in his life would be aware of bc he’s so darn polite. the warrior code is important to him and so are rules of daily clan life that reduce conflict in any way.

teapaw is also a glacierclan cat. she, like snowpaw, is a little bit quiet and secretive, the kind of person (..?) that kinda lurks in the back of important things going on rather than offering her voice. she’s a healer’s apprentice and takes a lot of pride in being effective and efficient with all her duties. she’s curious and observant, and shes good friends with her clan’s seer, deadhawk (i split the medicine cat position into two for these clans, healers do doctor stuff, seers talk to starclan), so she tends to be up to date w what starclan says, which helps her and her friends w their mystery.

and finally, breezepaw! he’s a summitclan cat and snowpaw’s bff. he’s kinda clueless and distractable, very much a follower personality as he likes others to decide what’s important for him to do. he’s a quiet cat, but he’s not afraid to speak his mind when the time comes. kinda a goofy jokester dude, but he knows how to read a room and keep quiet when he doesn’t know what to contribute and jokes won’t help. he likes snowpaw because snowpaw’s always confident in what he’s doing and never clowns on breezepaw for not knowing wtf is going on

[ofkanes]

me   pulling   up   wayyy   later   than   expected   :   👀👀,   fhdjs   hi   !!   i’m   nik   but   u   can   call   me   nikolaj   (   b99   stans   only      😤)   &   i’m   here   to   bring   my   mess   of   a   baby   kane   !!   ok   so   i’m   literally   too   excited   for   this   group   pls   don’t   @   me   .   before   i   start   i   just   wanna   say   that   all   ur   intros   ??   shakespeare   is   quaking   !!   send   tweet   .

[   jack   gilinsky   ,   he   /   him   ,   twenty   two   ,   cis   male   ]   do   my   eyes   deceive   me   ,   or   did   i   just   see   (   KANE   MORGAN   )   getting   out   of   the   car   in   hunnington   ?   i   guess   (   HE’S   )   living   around   (   ROCK   SPRINGS   )   ,   which   i   could’ve   guessed   .   hopefully   they   can   keep   their   (   -   SHORT   TEMPERED   &   -   COMPLACENT   )   shit   to   theirselves   ,   and   focus   on   being   (   +   ADAPTABLE   &   +   CHARMING   )   to   avoid   any   problems   .   and   for   the   love   of   god   ,   lets   hope   they   don’t   talk   about   the   (   HIDDEN   )   thing   .

ʙᴀᴄᴋsᴛᴏʀʏ 

ok lemme say that i envisioned kane as a movie bby , you’ll get what i mean in 2 secs . 

his two parents are both movie directors , his mother is an actress turned movie director . the morgan surname is well - known across the silver screens everywhere , not one that people take it lightly . here’s some background about his parents . 

tim morgan : father , but mostly known of his work as a movie director , i wanna say he has the career claim of frank darabont ( directed : the shawnshank redemption , the green mile , mary shelley’s frankestein , the walking dead ... etc ) . he earned his name despite being , at first , a nerdy film school student . very proud person , definitely snobbish . 

ingrid jackson - morgan : mother , but also a very good actress , i was thinking she had the career claim of michelle pfeiffer (  scarface , grease 2 , batman returns , hairspray , murder on the orient express ... etc ) . she comes from a line of models & actresses , so it’s no surprise there . 

now you have young kane morgan , now im ashamed to say he was named after citizen kane , his parent’s favourite movie ( rlly no taste ngl ) & you’ll never guess his middle name .... brando . that’s it , i’m cancelling him . 

but basically he’s a little accident that happened before the marriage , oops ? so really , an unhappy surprise for ms & mr morgan . his mother wasn’t very happy w his arrival because all she wanted to do was to work on movies & NOT take care of a child . 

don’t worry , cuz kane rlly felt that unhappiness ooze outta her . gr8 nannies though , he loves them . 

his father was happy to have someone to teach all his knowledge to , nerd alert , but that was one of the few moments he appreciated kane . that’s it . 

so one could imagine the disaster of a kid being brought up by movie stars ( read : nannies ) , not a stranger to cameras , red carpets & all that good stuff . 

ofc he was a child actor , his parents tried to put him in almost every movie they could , spreading that good morgan family name n all . kane didn’t think much of it , until he was old enough to understand .

he was definitely a little bratty , demanding attention from everyone all the time . being as fickle as they come , but that’s only because his parents didn’t give a flying fuck . 

as he grew up , still on the spotlight , he liked to be on & off the camera . some years , he yearned to be the center of attention & other’s he hated the job . very hard to keep up with . 

when he turned sixteen , he had his first ( & probably not last ) proper hollywood breakdown , almost as bad as brittany circa 2007 . he got a good role & was introduced to the bad side of hollywood . parties , drugs , shady people & all that good stuff . he was influenceable & fell into all the traps . it was only 2 years later that his parents were able to snap him out of it . they ofc paid all the tabloids to keep the good name out of their articles , but if you do your research , you’ll find some pretty pics of lil morgan . 

since then , he has cleaned up his act . ofc he took a couple of years off , went to college, tried to focus on himself & discover who he was ( he wasn’t only a morgan , he was kane !! who is kane ?? ) & he only started starring in roles recently , post college graduation . 

he just got off his first acting job post - hiatus & it’s a blockbuster . i was thinking maybe inspired on those coming of age movies ( à la hot summer nights but w more traction ) & people are freaking out !! kane morgan on the big screen ?? WHAT ?? he came back to nc before he decides on what to do next .

ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

ok so you can already guess that kane morgan is no humble kid . i like to think he has layers , but ppl can’t be bothered to look through all of them . 

some would say that his major problems stem from the fact that his parents didn’t give him enough attention & the public gave him too much . 

having your parents’ attention ? that’s so 2002 . 

for the press i like to think he has this movie star facade down . you know the old charming james dean smile , handsome but kind . loves the underdog , very humble about his social standing . generous , outgoing & loved by everyone . 

idk i never met james dean , all the information i have on him is taylor swift’s song : style .  

now if we dig a little deeper , he’s still quite the charmer ( c’mon he’s an actor after all ) , but maybe not as humble nor kind . he can be quite rude & entitled , but has some good jokes . don’t get him completely wrong , he’s still a bit generous ( he gives 25% tips wow ) . likes a good party , but knows his limits . always down for a good time . 

if we go even deeper , oof , he’s a bit broken . never learned to love properly , all he has it’s movies , which we can all agree are shit if you’re gonna base your attachment type on it . he lives on his own little world & likes to keeps his guards up . a sweetheart really , you can see past all the snobby film critic bullshit & he’s just a boy who wanna have fun & have a good life like all those people on the screen . 

you   would   fucken   think   im   a   film   major   but   NO   ,   i’m   not   even   that   fancy   w   movies   .   and   after   all   reading   all   those   movies   titles   ur   head   must   be   spinning   ,   MINE   IS   !!   but   ily   &   ur   an   absolute   queen   /   king   /   monarch   if   you   read   thru   all   of   this   !!   let   me   tag   my   plot   page   below   hehe   ,   it’s   were   we   get   angstyyy   !

plot page babey

[numba99]

The Arrangement Part 8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 * Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Summary: You’re an aspiring model in NYC who is offered an opportunity of a lifetime - an arranged relationship with a famous Ranger. Things start out rough and are further complicated by the fact that you’re already in a relationship. Will you be able to figure things out or will it all end in disaster? Word Count:2,079

Warnings: none, besides its been v long since the last update (im so sorry LMAO) so if their are minor inconsistencies in the story line I am sORRY I think everything adds up though. And gain we are pretending the media surrounding hockey is a much bigger deal lol

It was a bittersweet day. Sure you were getting to see Mika, something that would always be a bright spot in your day, however it was the last time you were allowed to be together. After tonight, being with him would put both of you in jeopardy. If his contract was anything like yours, he be sued for an obscene amount of money.

You tried to push this thought out of your head as you waited for Fred to arrive to take you on the final date. Tonight you were going to a little rooftop bar in Greenwich Village. It was going to be one of your more public dates, and that’s just how management wanted it.

You were supposed to act like you were upset and be distant from each other. That way when they leaked that the two of you broke up, witnesses would say how unhappy you looked together. It was the perfect set up.

A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. You instantly smiled seeing Harry standing on the other side. You would have thrown your arms around him, but he had a giant bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“Here love,” Mika said, handing you the arrangement for pink and purple flowers. It was much bigger than any of the others he has gotten you. “Sorry it’s so big, I didn’t get you any for our last date and I wanted to make up for it,” he explained, as if reading your mind.

“You so don’t have anything you need to make up for,” you gushed, kissing his cheek, “But I love them so much, thanks Mika.” You clutched the flowers to your chest, bring them your kitchen table - which had been bare without his bouquets. When you got back to Mika you hugged him tightly, breathing in his fresh minty scent.

“I missed you too,” he chuckled, teasing you for hugging him like you hadn’t seen him in months.

“Sorry,” you laughed at yourself, “Guess I just can’t get enough of you.”

“Understandable,” Mika winked, “Now let’s head out, don’t wanna keep Fred waiting.”

You walked hand in hand to the car, greeting Fred with a big smile. You were going to miss him, you thought. He was always a friendly face when you needed it. Not to mention, you may have never told Mika how you really without him.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look yet? Because you’re absolutely stunning, the outfit, you hair, everything,” Mika commented. His warm eyes traced your body under the dim car lights.

“Oh, come on, it’s nothing special,” you blushed, never being great with compliments. Plus, your outfit was pretty simple after all: a tailored white blouse, snug blue jeans, and pink heels.

“On the contrary,” Mika replied, “it’s special just because you’re wearing it. I especially love these shoes. I think I’ve got a shirt that color, we should match one day.” You smiled, your heart filling with joy when he spoke of a future with you.

“It’s a date.” Mika squeezed your hand and kissed your cheek. Part of you didn’t want to go anywhere. You’d be happy to just ride around with him for a few hours.Unfortunately that was not part of the plan.

“Here,” Fred announced.

“Let’s do this,” Mika said, taking your hand in his. You walked more confidently through the crowd of photographers. The flashes were still annoying, but they didn’t bother you nearly as much as they did when you were first exposed to them.

“You’re getting good at that,” Mika noted.

“I learned from the best,” you winked. Mika smiled, glad that you were getting over your discomfort with all the paparazzi. He knew that if you two were to stay together, you were going to have to get used to extra attention.

The two of you decided to take the stairs, considering it wasn’t too high up. You were a little breathless when you reached the top - stairs were never really your friend - but it was definitely worth it. It was a beautiful roof top, lined with shrubbery and flowers making it fell more like a garden than a city building.

“This is amazing,” you breathed. It was a perfect night for this too, not a single cloud in the sky. The moon was bright, washing over all the people mingling. The skyline melted into the inky black sky, building lights twinkling like stars.

“It is quite nice, isn’t it?” Mika agreed. The two of you weaved through people, finding a little standing table no one was using. You were surprised no one seemed too interested in Mika, but then again, this bar was a favorite of many famous people so it wasn’t a shock to see someone.

Mika went to get you two drinks, returning with glass in each had. “So, we’re not playing along with this stupid act annoyed shit they want us to do, right?” Mika asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“I’d rather not,” you replied. If it was your last “safe” night with Mika, you didn’t want to spend it acting like you didn’t like him.

“I was thinking we give ‘em hell this last night,” Mika smirked, “They’re going to be pissed at us anyway, might as well have fun with it.” You were about to reply when your ringing phone cut you off. Normally, you wouldn’t answer the phone during a date, but you recognized the number from the Gucci audition.

“Hello?” you answered, nerves filling your body. This could be it.

“Hey y/n, it’s the creative director of the Gucci New York Fashion Week show, do you have a minute?” the woman asked.

“Of course.” You tried to sound nonchalant but there was definitely a hint of excitement in your voice.

“Great, well I am happy to say we have chosen you to be one of the models who walks in our show,” she told you.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing.Thank you so much,” you gushed, unable to act put together. Mika looked at you quizzically, wondering what you were so excited about.

“Of course! We are so excited to be working with you, you really impressive,” she replied.

“That means so much, it’s such an honor to be chosen,” you said. The woman explained she would be in contact in the future about fittings and dress rehearsals. You listened as carefully as you could not wanting to miss anything in your excited state. When you finally hung up, you turned to Mika, squealing with joy.

“What is it love?” he asked.

“I got a spot in the Gucci fashion show!” you exclaimed. Mika’s face lit up. He picked you up and spun you around.

“I’m so proud of you babe,” he smiled, planting kisses all over your face. A couple people in the surrounding area looked over at the two of you. Definitely won’t look like the two of you are fighting.

“I have to thank you for it, I never would have even gotten the opportunity without you,” you replied, so incredibly grateful for him. This was something you’ve dreamed of for so long and could really change your career.

Mika shook his head. “Not me babe, all you. And I can’t wait to be sitting front row watching my beautiful girlfriend on the runway.” Mika moved closer to you, his hands slipping around your waist. “May just have to buy whatever you’re wearing so I can fuck you in it.”

“Mika,” you blushed, “Someone’s gonna hear you.” The rooftop was getting progressively more crowded and he wasn’t exactly being quiet.

“I don’t care,” Mika replied, “I’m sick of not being able to say how I feel. I love you and I want everyone to know. I love you, I love you, I love you.” His voice got louder as he spoke, grabbing the attention of people around you.

Mika took your by the arm, leading you to the edge of the rooftop. He leaned over the edge a bit. He yelled and waved trying to get the attention of the photographers below. Some turned up, cameras flashing, desperate to get photos of the two of you.

“I love this woman! I love this woman so much!” He yelled, giving you a kiss in between.

“You’re crazy,” you laughed as he peppered kisses all over you.

“Just crazy about you,” he smirked.

“Corny ass,” you teased, rolling your eyes.

The two of you had a great rest of the night, dancing and laughing together. You knew there would be hell to pay, but Mika’s carefree attitude was rubbing off on you. In the end, you knew you two would have each other and that made you feel safe.

At the end of the night, the two were headed for the exit, hand in hand. Mika stopped you right before the door. “Wanna go out with a bang?” Harry smirked.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked.

“Just follow my lead,” Mika replied with a wink. You didn’t know what he had in mind, but you were down. You nodded and Mika smiled, leading you through the heavy doors. The flashes were instant and abundant.

“Mika, y/n, over here!”

“How long have you been dating!”

“Mika what were you saying on the roof?”

Harry stopped in the middle of the crowd. The photographers looked on anxiously, waiting for something they could use.

“Y/n and I are in love,” he announced simply. He took you, and dipped you down, kissing you deeply. So dramatic, you thought as he kissed you. But you secretly loved it. Even with your eyes closed you could see the lights going off like crazy. There was no way management wasn’t going to see this.

After a few moments, Mika pulled away and continued to the car. He smiled and waved at cameras, something he didn’t usually do. He was really playing it up.

“You’re so ridiculous,” you laughed as he pulled the car door shut.

“But you love it, don’t you?” he teased.

“Guilty,” you replied, kissing him quickly.

“Fred, you can just take us to my place,” Mika announced, squeezing your thigh. You were excited, having never been to his apartment before. You rested your head on Mika’s shoulder during the drive, suddenly realizing how sleepy you were. You hoped Mika had a comfy pair of sweats for you to change into because you were absolutely sick of these jeans.

“Here we are,” Fred announced, “Before you guys go, I just want to see I’ve really enjoyed driving you two around. Today is supposed to be my last day, but I know it’s definitely not your last day together. Whatever happens, I know you two will get through it. I wish you all the best.”

“That was so sweet,” you gushed, almost feeling like you could cry, “Thank you for everything, really. You’ve been incredible.”

“It was my pleasure, I only ask I get invited to the wedding,” he joked.

“Of course,” Mika chuckled. After a final goodbye the two of you headed out. 

“Jesus,” you gasped, walking into Mika’s place. It was huge, the living room bigger than your entire apartment.

“Oh this old thing?” Mika joked. “If you think this is nice, you should see my place in Sweden.”

“Can we go after this mess is over?” you asked.

“Of course babe,” Mika replied, wrapping his arms around you, “We’re going to go every where together.”

Mika kissed you softly and you felt like you were flying. If you hadn’t been so tired you probably would have gone further, but right now you needed sleep. Plus, you imagined you had a big day ahead of you tomorrow once management caught wind of these pictures.

“How soon do you think we’ll be called in?” You asked Mika as you pulled on one of his tees (he gave you a super comfy pair of sweatpants too, which you were completely jazzed about).

“I’m surprised they haven’t called already,” Mika said, peeling off his clothes, leaving him in just a pair of black boxers. He grabbed your waist, pulling you down onto the bed with him.

“Well whatever happens, at least we’ll go through it together,” you said, snuggling against his side.

“Yeah, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried,” Mika smiled, kissing your forehead. Nestled together, you both drifted to sleep, worries of what tomorrow would bring far from your mind.

[lilacjaemin]

daisies

pairing: prince!jeno x gender neutral reader

genre: fluffy angst oh yes (plus lil commentaries hehe)

word count: 4.5k

summary: daisies symbolize true love – each daisy is really two flowers blended together in harmony, the center petals are one flower surrounded by the “rays” of another. they mean purity and innocence, one that swears a loyalty to love and a commitment to a shared secrecy. 

a/n: thank you to jeno for being my biggest muse!! oh also thank you to payton for helping me research flowers for this <3

·     royal prince!jeno can’t wait to rule his people and his beautiful kingdom full of flower fields and forests

·     but he can wait a little longer to get married

·     and one night the royal family throws a dinner party and a ball filled with suitors for their son

·     but jeno can’t take the stuffy atmosphere and the hundreds of girls trying to dance with him

·     so he runs off to his favorite spot in his kingdom

·     these rolling hills covered in daisies

·     it’s this pretty valley that nobody else knows about sometimes he goes there when his royal duties are too much and he needs to get away

·     but when he arrives he stumbles across you laying on the hill stargazing, engulfed in the flowers

·     he had no idea anyone else knew about this place

·     he really doesn’t wanna be around any more people tonight but in the dim moonlight he can make out the features of your face

·     he’s never seen you around the castle, and by what you’re wearing you definitely didn’t just run away from the same ball

·     so he carefully approaches and asks if he can join you

·     you sit up, freaked out that someone found this secret spot of yours

·     the figure is in a white button up and a dark blue suit jacket with gold swirls

·     he looks expensive but his eyes are kind

·     so you say okay

·     when he sits down next to you, he smells of many different expensive perfumes, which you find weird

·     you ask what he’s doing out here because by the looks of his dark suit he probably should be at some ball

·     and he says “yeah i should be.”

·     what?

·     and that’s when you notice the gold coronet resting neatly in his hair

·     ohhhhh he’s the prince

·     you’re sitting on the ground with the prince

·     the future king jeno

·     o k a y

·     suddenly jeno thinks he hears something and he’s paranoid of his parents’ royal guards finding him and this spot so he turns to you like did you hear that??

·     and before you could respond, out of nowhere he grabs you?? and dives into the flowers

·     your hands against his chest preventing you from smacking into him

·     he’s pulled you super close, his breathing rapid and eyes closed

·     you’re a little frozen, still in shock the prince just tackled you

·     he waits, realizing he probably just heard a squirrel or something

·     the ~kdrama~ moment happens where he opens his eyes and finds himself staring into yours

·     time stops for a split second, the wind ruffling the grass and daisies surrounding you two

·     and then he regains his composure and helps you up again

·     “are you okay? im so sorry! oh, that was so weird and creepy i just cant get caught out here.”

·     you blink slowly, the surprise wearing off

·     “yeah im totally fine.”

·     well maybe physically, but your heart?? about to beat out of your chest!!

·     jeno reaches his hand out and brushes a strand out of your face, smoothing out the rest of your disheveled hair

·     you swore fire ignited from his fingertips

·     you have to change the subject before you lose it

·     “so…you said you should be at a ball right now?” you clear your throat and brush yourself off

·     “ah, my family is pressing me to find a suitable partner. lately it’s just been dinner after dinner, dance after dance, i hate it.” he sighs, laying back into the hillside

·     “you hate people trying to get your attention?”

·     “i want to marry once i fall in love, not because they would be a good ruler of the kingdom.”

·     “i see.” you whisper, laying down beside him

·     “ i love my family, i love this kingdom and i can’t wait to rule but i wish that one part of my life could be normal. i tried to have the most normal childhood i could manage. i did everything i could to grow up and feel like everyone else, but nobody else has to have arranged marriages, so why do i?”

·     you stay quiet, soaking his words in, watching the moon as jeno continues to your right

·     “love seems incredible. i just wanna experience it for real. i don’t want someone ive only met a handful of times before our wedding, no matter how extravagant the whole thing is. i’ve tried so many times to explain to my parents that i can rule by myself for the time being and then ill find a partner, but they won’t let me.”

·     you listen to his worries, the whole time not realizing that your hand had made its way to rest on jeno’s arm

·     it’s something you do to comfort others, but he turns his head to look at you and you immediately pull away

·     you start apologizing, saying how it’s just a habit you have, but he stops you

·     “no no it’s okay, it feels nice to have someone really listening to me.” he smiles

·     oh his smile is beautiful, it shines brighter than the moon above

·     “i never get to hang out with other people my age and not have a bunch of royalty stuff looming over my head.”

·     you were just in awe that the prince who has it all is unhappy and you feel so bad and just wanna hug him because honestly he’s so cute

·     you listen while he rants about his duties and how stuck up some of the royal advisors are and how every suitor he meets is in it just for the wealth, they don’t really care about the him as a person

·     he asks what your take on it is and you talk about your views on love

·     you’re saying how you think it’s the most beautiful thing and that you’ve seen it in your parents and you want it so badly, but it always feels like all of the people in town don’t want a serious relationship

·     “i want to meet someone that makes every star look pale in comparison. i come out here to look at the night sky and hope that somewhere, the one i’m meant to be with is looking at it too.”

·     and jeno nods

·     he completely understands

·     “my family says i’m crazy for thinking that way. but i work in a library, im surrounded by incredible stories of romance, how can i not hope for one myself?”

·     he’s fascinated at the fact that you can date normally but don’t because you say there’s no one out there

·     jeno assures you there’s people out there, he has to meet with them constantly, he just never gets along with any of them

·     you talk about royal life into the late hours of the night

·     jeno is just so happy to have someone genuinely interested in his thoughts and feelings

·     he’s giddy, ranting about his plans for the kingdom and his goals for the future

·     you don’t know when you drift off, but you remember hearing his warm voice fade away

·     and you fall asleep on his shoulder

·     jeno doesn’t remember when he drifts off, but he remembers feeling your warmth at his side

·     when he wakes up at sunrise, jeno is like oh i‘m so dead they’re never gonna let me out of the castle ever again !!

·     but he looks at you, sleeping peacefully against him with daisies framing your face

·     he feels his heart do a backflip

·     is this how it’s supposed to feel? there’s not supposed to be a sense of dread pooling in his stomach like there is when a suitor walks in? interesting

·     gently waking you up, he tells you he has to run to get back to the castle

·     but he promises you he’ll do everything he can to come back to this spot to meet you and stargaze again

·     “i’ll be here.” you say sleepily, smiling at his messy hair

·     when he gets home his parents are like oh you are in so much trouble we threw that ball for you and you LEFT?? AND WE SEARCHED ALL OVER AND COULDNT FIND YOU?? WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDNAPPED??

·     and jeno is like um. oops? trying to contain his smile when he thinks of you and your soft hand on his arm

·     he gets read the riot act and is told if it happens again there will be serious consequences

·     and jeno never gets in trouble so this is big

·     but he’s willing to take the risk

·     for weeks he sneaks out and runs to the field each and every night

·     finding more reasons to love being in your company than there are stars in the sky

·     one night before dawn broke you stopped playing with the hem of your shirt

·     “i was thinking about what you told me the first night we met.” you say, eyes glued to the ground

·     “i know you’ll find somebody, and not just because you’re a prince. you will find someone who loves you for your heart, not just the riches.”

·     he stares at you, something in his eyes you couldn’t quite pin

·     jeno was glad it was dark, if not you would’ve seen the red dusting on his cheeks

·     “y-you’ll find someone too. i know it.”

·     its quiet for a minute and then very subtly, jeno grabs your hand

·     “is this okay?”

·     “of course it is. now can you tell me about the secret royal garden? i heard its incredible.”

·     you lay on your side and spend the rest of the night finding the stars in his eyes

·     another dinner is scheduled, this time with the family of a neighboring kingdom

·     this family has a daughter the same age as jeno

·     he knows in his gut that his parents want him to be with her

·     but he can’t shake the feeling of your hands in his

·     it’s where they belong

·     nevertheless, he fake smiles through the meal, tensing when she tries to reach for his arm across the table

·     after the disaster of a dinner, jeno sneaks away again

·     you can tell by the look on his face that he needs a hug

·     “i don’t want to be with her.” he breathes into your neck

·     “you’re sure you can’t talk to your parents about this?” you say, running your hand through his dark hair

·     “they don’t listen. i’ve tried, they just won’t listen.”

·     you hold him close, wracking your brain for a solution to this problem

·     but there seems to be none

·     jeno creeps back to the castle after spending the whole night wrapped in your arms

·     but the queen is waiting for him in his chamber when he opens the door

·     he’s banned from leaving the castle without supervision until he gets married

·     he’s never sent out unless it’s with a guard

·     he’s devastated and frustrated because he wants to sneak away to you but someone is always watching

·     he feels like he lost the one person who understood him the most

·     one day he goes into the castle library in an effort to get some peace

·     to his surprise, you are working in the front

·     you hear a gasp and when you look up jeno stands before you

·     “this library? you work in the castle and never told me!?”

·     “no, the town’s library is overstaffed because of the summer, so i took the job opening here. i always waited for you to come in and find out, but i guess you don’t use the library as much as i imagined.” you laugh

·     your heart is beating like crazy seeing him again

·     you bring him to your favorite little poetry corner, out of view of the entrance

·     huddled in amongst the books he takes hold of your hands

·     you can see him visibly relax when he feels your palms against his

·     “im so sorry, i tried so hard to go meet you but they have guards on me at all times. they won’t let me out of their sight.” he looks frantic

·     “jeno, i’ll wait however long it takes to be together. i still go to our spot every night, i still wait for you. i always will.” you reassure him

·     his brows unfurrow and he smiles, pulling you close to his chest

·     his heartbeat is soothing against your cheek and you realize just how much you missed him

·     “oh, i have something for you.” you reach into the last of the shelves, pulling out a thick worn book

·     he watches in confusion as you open to a page in the center

·     “here, i pressed these for you. for the nights when you can’t come visit, just know i’m there.” you show him two dry daisies, careful not to blow them away

·     his face lights up, gently taking the book from you and running a finger over their stems

·     he’s about to thank you when you hear someone call for him from the door

·     he frowns and shuts the book, tucking it under his arm

·     he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before scurrying off, leaving your skin burning and your mind dizzy

·     jeno’s parents are sure the princess from the neighboring kingdom is the one

·     and jeno can feel his stomach drop to his feet when they tell him

·     desperate to get to you, he tricks his guards into getting him something from the other side of the castle

·     he shimmies down his balcony and runs as fast as his legs can take him to the field before they can send search parties out for him

·     he grabs you by your shoulders and frantically tells you that they’re arranging his marriage

·     but it’s not what he wants, he can’t stop thinking about you

·     “jeno.” you whisper, pointing behind him

·     you see lanterns come over the hill and horses trample over the flowers

·     jeno stands in front of you to protect you but guards pull him away

·     he’s yelling at them to stop but they’re angry

·     you feel like you can’t breathe

·     one of the advisors recognizes you from the library and tells you never to come back to the castle

·     you stand and watch with teary eyes as jeno is dragged away and the candles fade into the night

·     a few weeks go by and you get word that the prince is betrothed to marry the princess and you’re absolutely heartbroken

·     you know jeno doesn’t want that

·     and even if it isn’t you that gets to be with him, you still want him to be happy

·     out of a job, you ask a family friend who works as a florist to hire you

·     “of course! we need all the help we can get for this wedding!”

·     oh no

·     your heart breaks even more but your family needs the money

·     you arrive a few days before to set up the decor and pray the the guards from that night don’t recognize you

·     and as much as it hurts, you hope you don’t run into jeno

·     but to your dismay he walks in with the princess and you feel your world collapse

·     you meet his gaze while they check on the ballroom’s set up and you can see the light behind his eyes go dim

·     suddenly he yells “NO! THIS IS ALL WRONG! WE NEED TO HAVE A MEETING TO DISCUSS THE DECOR IMMEDIATELY!”

·     he finds a way to break away from the princess just for a second and whispers to meet him at a different spot tonight

·     he says it’s under the willow tree at the edge of the forest by the stream and you nod

·     “the flower arrangements around the altar are hideous.” he goes back to frowning, trying his hardest not to steal glances at you anymore

·     you are sure there’s no way he could get away again but lo and behold you hear footsteps approaching

·     you run into jeno’s arms, worried this would be the last time you could ever hold him

·     he cups your cheeks, staring into your eyes

·     “we don’t have much time but i promise i’m not marrying her. we’ll figure something out, we’ll run away together, we’ll do something, but i promise i am not marrying her.”

·     he tries to assure you it’ll all be okay and he’s so certain it will be that you begin to believe him

·     but you hear footsteps again

·     lots of them

·     and you and jeno can hardly see because of the tears in both your eyes but you can hear the impending doom

·     there aren’t even words to say to each other, its over

·     it’s all over now

·     he kisses your forehead, then your cheek, letting his lips linger against your skin

·     jeno is ripped from your arms and both of you are taken back to the castle

·     they throw you in the dungeon and tell you that you’re going to have a meeting with the king and queen in the morning

·     you sit on the cold stone floor and cry into your palms, desperately trying to remember how jeno’s lips felt on your face

·     the next day you’re led out in shackles

·     you sit in front of the royals and the queen is furious

·     she’s yelling how dare you try and ruin her kingdom by getting in the way of her son’s relationship, how dare you still try and meet with him after everything that’s happened

·     she’s close to banishing you from the kingdom entirely when jeno runs in, “don’t you understand? im in love with them!” 

·     jeno loves you

·     “would you rather the kingdom be run by a miserable king or a happy one?” he’s crying and you want nothing more than to wipe his tears away but the shackles keep you planted to the ground

·     you’re exhausted and cold and sad and hungry and you have no fight left in you

·     the queen can’t believe what she’s hearing

·     “you would put your future people in danger for this peasant?”

·     “i would rather give up the throne entirely than marry that princess.”

·     “how could you say that? i didn’t raise you this way! i raised you to be a selfless leader!”

·     “how could you expect me to lead these people well if im unhappy?”

·     she pauses momentarily, a softness seeping into her eyes, but it quickly fades when she looks back at you

·     the queen is still fuming

·     “we’re going ahead with the arranged marriage and that’s final, jeno.”

·     she turns to you and tells you after you’re done helping with the wedding you’re never going to see jeno ever again

·     he cries out, running to kneel in front of you and taking your face in his hands

·     “jeno,” you say weakly, “its okay. i hope you can find happiness.” you try to smile for him but everything hurts

·     his mother watches the sad scene unfold in front of her with a tightlipped expression

·     “and i love you too, moonlight.” you whisper

·     he laughs bitterly, tears falling onto your heavy arms

·     he leans forward to kiss you

·     but his guards grab him and take him away before his lips reach yours

·     he yells your name all the way down the hall, kicking and thrashing to try and break free

·     you hang your head in sadness and feel a sob wrack through your body

·     its over

·     the day of the wedding arrives and you solemnly finish the bouquet for the bride

·     you fill it with orange mock flowers (they represent deceit) quickly hiding the daisies they had brought for it instead

·     you try to find someone to deliver it to her but everyone is bustling around trying to add the final touches

·     you trudge to her chamber and knock, hoping to place the flowers down and leave as soon as possible

·     but she invites you inside and you dig your nails in your palms to keep it together

·     she’s pretty, but from what jeno has told you about her the only thing she cares about is power

·     “so i heard you’re the one who tried to break us up.” she says through an unnerving smile

·     you stay silent

·     “its such a shame really. jeno is really torn up over you. he’s too sad to think straight. he sits in bed with this old poetry book, but he never turns the page. i think he’s gone crazy, he doesn’t even speak! but i won’t need him for much longer. once i’m in line for the throne i won’t even need to look at him.” she twirls her finger around the center of the bouquet

·     “and when i’m queen, you’ll be banished. it’s a win win!” she laughs, brushing past you to leave, “oh, and do stay for the wedding. i wanna make sure you see this.” you can hear the venom laced in her words

·     your hands are numb, four dark crescents in each palm

·     jeno stands at the altar in his dark blue suit, the same from the night you met him

·     he’s pale, rings of purple under his eyes, his hands in fists, a daisy in his pocket, you can tell he’s biting his cheek

·     you stand behind the tall vase at the back of the ballroom, peeking through the flowers

·     the music begins and in walks the princess, and jeno has never looked unhappier in his life

·     he’s barely holding her hands, nothing like the way he held yours

·     the priest asks if he takes this woman to be his lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live

·     you hold your breath

·     it’s silent

·     the princess is smiling, but if looks could kill jeno would’ve been struck down immediately

·     “jeno?”

·     silence

·     a tear rolls down his face and you can see his body visibly shake

·     “no.” he says as firmly as he can

·     the crowd gasps

·     he drops her hands and begins to walk off when the king comes up next to him

·     “you better get back up there right now and finish this.”

·     “no.”

·     “what did you just say?”

·     “i said no, i’m saying no, i’ve been saying no. ever since i was little i’ve thought about what it would be like when i fell in love for the first time. i’d see the way you looked at mom and i thought i can’t wait for the day where i love someone so much i look at them the same way. and funny enough i did find that love. i fell in love in a field of flowers with someone who is more beautiful inside and out than the moon and all the stars combined. i finally found the prettiest flower of them all and i won’t stop fighting for them.”

·     he pauses and turns to look at his dad

·     “i know im going against your word, but you always told me a good king was one who finds strength in those around him, one who grows and rules to the best of his ability, and i’m the strongest when i’m with them, dad.”

·     he turns to the crowd, desperation dripping off his words

·     “i want to be a ruler you’re all proud of, but what kind of king would i be if i didn’t fight for what i want most?”

·     you didn’t realize you were crying until your tears ran down your neck

·     the queen stands up and you fear the worst for both you and jeno

·     “you really love them? you love them this much?”

·     “mother, i’ve always wanted true love. you know that. and i can’t see myself with anyone else.”

·     the princess is throwing daggers with her eyes behind them

·     the queen pauses for a moment and without turning around she says “come up here.”

·     you hesitantly walk up the aisle in your raggedy work clothes, your heartbeat pounding between your ears at all the eyes on you

·     jeno gasps “you were still here?”

·     “in no way are you ready to become royalty let alone a ruler, but i’ve never seen jeno stand up to us like this before, and i must admit it hurt my heart to not be able to give him the true love he wished for all these years. it’s not that i didn’t want him to experience it, i just wanted him to have the best partner for ruling over his people. but i think i caused more harm than good in doing so. you seem to really love him, and that’s all a mother could ever want for her child. if you promise to take all of the classes and lessons you need and work extremely hard to learn about this kingdom and what’s best for it, i’ll agree to you dating him. if you meet my husband’s and my approval, then maybe we can discuss marriage.”

·     “what!? absolutely not!” the princess stomps her foot “i’m supposed to be queen!”

·     “you never cared about my son anyway. get in your carriage and go back to your kingdom.” the king hisses

·     she throws her bouquet to the ground and storms out

·     both you and jeno are speechless, silent tears rolling down your faces

·     you thank the queen endlessly, promising to do whatever it takes

·     you cling on to him, trying not to collapse to the floor

·     “i almost lost you.” you say into the fabric of his suit

·     “never.” he mumbles into your hair

·     you walk hand in hand, fingers intertwined, back to your field

·     you lay down in the flowers and never let go of each other

·     tears wiped away with kisses

·     fingertips tracing the shape of your mouth

·     as the stars begin to poke out of the sky jeno connects your lips

·     it isn’t until the sun peeks up over the hill that he pulls away

·     and a year to the day you first met the prince in the valley, you stand in the same place, amongst the same daisies, under the same stars, reciting vows to each other’s teary eyes

[cryptid-bloodhound]

can i just have some fluffy gibby and octane??? that's all i need in my life tbh

IM LATE BUT I GOTCHU FAM!

Thoughts Like Thorns

Ao3

Octavio was bored again. When he was bored, bad things tended to happen. He didn’t mean to cause so much havoc, honest! Well, most of the time he didn’t mean it. All that destruction and chaos was simply a byproduct of his endless hunt for his next adrenaline rush. He really couldn’t help it. That desire to do something - anything - was almost pervasive. It was a gnawing, clawing need that guided his day-to-day life. When he sat idle for just a moment too long, that feeling would well up inside of him again, like nails down his spine. If he didn’t know any better, he’d compare the uncomfortable sensation to anxiousness. It was like something inside of him telling him to ‘ go go go!’ and not doing that was something really quite awful.

Those quiet moments between drops when there was nowhere for him to run and video games just weren’t cutting it was horrible. He’d bounce in place, jump around, and use his fellow Legends as makeshift springboards. Anything to alleviate that need. For the most part, the others tolerated his constant frenetic energy. Sometimes, if the mood was bright enough, they’d join in on his reckless little games. It usually wasn’t a problem for the adrenaline junkie. Hell, he loved the rush so chasing these little highs was awesome! But, there were moments when it was all a little too much. When his attention felt like it was being ripped in every direction and his mind buzzed like a nest of angry hornets. When nothing could satisfy that need of his. It seemed like today was one of those unlucky days.

He was pacing back and forth in the complex, muttering under his breath rapidly as if he could chase away this feeling through cursing alone. His hands flexed, clenched, and beat an uneven tempo against his thighs as he moved on an endless loop. Sometimes he felt like clawing at himself because surely that would feel better than whatever this sensation was crawling under his skin, but he refrained. The last time he did, Ajay scolded him and gave him that ‘I’m-unhappy-but-also-worried�� look he’s so familiar with. He tried playing games but nothing would hold his attention or quell that buzzing. He tried hanging out with the others but found himself too...raw to handle them right now. This uneasy restlessness was killing him.

“Ughh, estoy a punto de enloquecer!”

Octavio was so engrossed in his own static-filled mind that he didn’t notice the rather large figure walking through the door. Really, it should be a feat all on its own to have Makoa Gibraltar of all people sneak up on you. The giant of a man wasn’t the type to sneak around. So, when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder, the borderline shriek that left his lips was all the more embarrassing. Gibraltar looked torn between amused and mildly worried. That expression made Octavio want to shrug the hand off of his shoulder and bolt for the door.

“You alright there, bruddah?”

It was a simple question. It should have been easy to answer. Should . But the nonstop racing thoughts and aching in his nerves told him otherwise.

“Yes. No. Yes! ...Maybe. UGH, I don’t know!”

His hands went from tapping his thighs to gripping at his hair as he fought himself for a moment of respite. After seeing the almost volatile reaction to his touch earlier, Makoa resisted the urge to lay a reassuring hand on the younger Legend. It wasn’t often that Octavio had a bad day like this but it happened just enough for Makoa to recognize the signs. After a moment of thought, Gibraltar shifted his presence, expression dropping from openly worried to casual friendliness. That same sort of warmth colored over the darker tones of his voice. He didn’t want Octavio focusing on the bad - especially if it was thanks to the way he was acting.

“Hey, I seen you’re pretty good at art, yeah?”

The question was so unexpected and lax that it actually threw Octavio for a bit of a loop. His grip loosened and he squinted in slight confusion at Makoa. When he spoke, his answer was drawn out and pitched as if it was a question.

“...Yes?”

That seemed to brighten up Makoa’s disposition immediately. He gave one of his famous thousand-watt grins and threw open his arms in a grand gesture.

“Perfect! I got a cake here that needs some serious decoratin’ and you’re just the guy for the job!”

There wasn’t a singular part of this shift in conversation that didn’t confuse Octavio. Granted there were a great many things that did confuse him. In his defense, however, he rarely bothered enough to pay attention to, well, anything really. So, he just let his arms drop back to his sides as bewilderment overtook his features. Seeing the shift, Makoa kept on going. Anything to keep him distracted was good in his books. As he spoke, he subtly herded Octavio toward the kitchen area where a tasty but objectively plain cake sat. Next to it was a slew of decoration tools and what looked like a rough image of what Gibraltar wanted on it. It was pretty, certainly something he could imagine giving to a significant other if he were feeling romantic. But his way of drawing was a bit more, ah, stylized than what was pictured. As he started imagining what it’d look like in his own design, Makoa continued on.

“It’s my anniversary soon and I wanted to do somethin’ nice. I made a cake but I don’t have an artistic bone in my body. Figured I’d ask ya for help, shortstack. We can work on it togetha ‘n you could tell me what’s botherin’ ya.”

At the reminded of his earlier unending nerves, Octavio frowned. Without meaning to he started bouncing back and forth on his feet as that prickling sensation started taking over his attention once more. Without wasting a second, Makoa barreled on as if nothing changed.

“Or, I could tell ya about that time I stole my dad’s motorcycle to go on a joyride with my boyfriend.”

Again, the switch up blindsided the younger Legend. The mental image of The Gibraltar doing something so reckless and immature as stealing his dad’s motorcycle absolutely floored Octavio. His jaw dropped and that jittery discomfort was replaced with a sort of giddiness. That sounded like something he would do and not the unofficial Team Dad.  

“No. Way.”

“Way.”

There was a smug sort of smile pulling wide at Gibraltar’s lips as Octavio stared at him with wide eyes. He figured if there was a story to draw him out of a bad spot, it’d be a crazy one he could relate to. The air was filled with the rapid little ‘tinks’ of his feet as he danced in place with all that pent up energy he was so well-known for. He wanted to hear more about this crazy tale. It was drawing his mind away from all those sharp, intangible edges he could never figure out.

“Let’s do it!”

And so they did. They set up their impromptu cake station as Makoa spoke about the shenanigans he managed to get himself into in his wilder days. Of course, he left out the darker parts. No need to drag the kid back down. It warmed something in his heart to see Octavio calming down. His mind was distracted by the story and attention needed to detail the cake while his hands were busy drawing out lines of frosting. It was engaging enough to keep him entertained without being self-destructive (or any kind of destructive, which was a step up). So, when that story ended, Makoa conjured another, and then another, and another. However many it took until that frantic tension melted away from Octavio.

“So, when ya gonna pop the question amigo? Time ain’t waitin’ for any of us! We won’t stay this young and good lookin’ forever. Well, you won’t. I’ll always be this gorgeous. ”

It was Makoa’s turn to be surprised at the unexpected words. Maybe it was the shock, maybe it was the cocky, over-the-top attitude, or maybe it was just the irony that the usually oblivious one here hit the nail on the head. Whatever the case, Makoa let out a deep belly laugh and clapped Octavio on the shoulder. The force behind the gesture was still enough to cause the much smaller man to jolt forward.

“Ha! Keep it up, shortstack. I’ll remember that next time we’re on a team and the enemies are lookin’ for a punchin’ bag.”

Rather than respond verbally, Octavio just stuck his tongue out and gave a rather colorful hand gesture. Though the way his lips turned up at the corners in a grin spoke volumes of his current bright mood. After a moment, Makoa sighed in a way that Octavio could have sworn would be considered ‘dreamily’. He did very little to hide the amused snort at the action. ‘What a big softy.’

“To tell ya the truth, I been thinkin’ ‘bout it. I wanna do it soon. Hey, how’d you like to come ‘n help me pick out a ring, huh?”

The invitation was a surprise. Seems like today was full of those - mostly good, at least. It made Octavio smile wider than he has in a long time. Again, he couldn’t help but do an excited little jig in place, prompting Makoa to laugh at his antics once more.

“Hells yeah!”

His brain was already rushing ten thousand miles a minute picturing all sorts of expensive and fantastical bands. That led to him also picturing crazy wedding ideas and - ‘Oh! Wonder if I’ll get to be a groomsman!’ His colorful and exciting daydreams were interrupted by Makoa as he peered over his shoulder at the cake and spoke up.

“This looks great, Octavio, but uh...you spelled his name wrong.”

Sure enough, when he looked at the wonderfully decorated (in his humble opinion) cake, he had forgotten a letter in Makoa’s boyfriend’s name. With a groan, he slapped a hand to his forehead and accidentally smeared icing on his face.

“Mierda.”

[mar-bluu]

Just finished my 2nd day of work experience :)

It was strange but i loved it! Sorry this is so long :p Some high points over the 2 days:

Day 1!

Very nervous!

Very very nervous!

Got there at 8 and knocked on the door which a really nice guy opened for me and let me in

We introduced ourselves amd he told me his name was S, then he showed me the break room where i put my stuff away

Met K! Shes very nice and i helped cleaned out the puppy room while she did the kittens

Was then sent upstairs to cut up some fruit for the birds and guinea pigs

Fed the quails and budgies, then moved onto the cockatiels and other birds

Two of the alexandrines loved the apple and carrot, while the other two (in a different area) didnt want to eat unless i hand fed them (i slowly moved it to the bowl where they shared a slice of apple and aah!! 💖)

I annoyed the sun conures cause i went to feed them but they were climbing on the door so i couldnt open it properly, so i moved onto the other birds. They screamed at me for a while after that

Gave the guinea pigs some orange and saved a few slices for the two upstairs and are sick/unhappy :(

Washed up the bowl

Restocked the birb toys!! Very cool and made out of thicc sticcs and pinecones

Restocked chicken mince and dog bones

Went to the freezer, didn't find chicken mince, did find yoko, a bearded dragon in a freezer bag with the frozen rabbits/mice. Bag said "Yoko, passed after laying eggs :(" made me very sad

Did see Yoko's enclosure-mate who was sunning on a rock just vibing. Made me less sad

Eventually found chicken mince, but no bones

There was another employee who really scared me

Like a lot

Literally for no reason! He just makes me super super nervous

I think it might be because he looked very vaguely like this guy at school who also scares me (also for no reason, we talked once and he was super nice but he still scares me)

Anyway i did algae wipes on the plant tanks but also was super nervous and when i was done, couldn't see S and didn't wanna annoy the other employees so i just kept redoing them, like 6 times

Eventually found S who got me to clean the fish tank lids

The glass fishtank lids

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Other dude had hoses running that went through where i was so the whole time i was going "dont drop the glass, dont drop the glass, dont drop the glass, do not drop the glass, please please dont drop the glass

Did about 4 lids then it was time to go

All in all a pretty good day maybe a 7/10 :p

Day 2!

Got there just before 8, still nervous

K let me in and we put our stuff away upstairs

Met A!

A was a little sick but also super kind, made me a little less nervous

I cleaned out the kittens room while she did the puppers

One pupper was super loud and attention seeking so i stopped and said hi everytime i passed

Kinda felt bad that i kept asking A questions cause i could tell she was close to losing her voice

Finished up just as the store opened

Vacuumed the store

Felt bad while vacuuming near the birbs and guinea pigs cause they didnt like the vacuum but it was very very dirty so i spent quite a bit of time there

Would do one spot then turn around to see a more feathers and sunflowet seed casings (i have a feeling that the sun conures were still upset)

That took quite a while and there were still more feathers!!!!!!!!

Anyway K asked me to wash the outside of the puppy and kitten windows

That took about 20 minutes (smol kiddos kept touching the cleaned glass >:( ah well :/ )

I asked K if i needed to do anything else and she said to ask D (manager(?)) If he had anything, and if not i could,,,,,,, b r ush the kitten s

:O

Ho ly hecc ye!!

Put the bucket/cloth/water away and asked D, he had nothing

Y E S

KI TTE N S

K gave me a brush and the guy who kinda scares me asked if i knew the code to get into the room, A told me before so i was good

But not for long

It was only 4 digits long and i knew the numbers but then forgot the order

I tried every possible order but nothing worked

I went back to the counter and asked again "the code? oh it's 1234"

Okay! I go back to the door "the code? oh it's 1uwje82k"

F r i c k

As im standing there hoping that this door will magically open for me, cause if i ask 3 times uhh I'll die ?

A and other scary dude were walking past and i tried to make eye contact with A and silently ask for help

But A wasnt looking, however, other dude was!

He came over and opened the door for me and had like a 10 second convo

Anyway he seems super heccin chill and nice but still scares me

Anyway

K i tt ies!

I went into their room and said hi then sat down with the brush

I will be honest, i was expecting some resistance whether it was playful, or frightened of the brush, or wriggly

What i did not expect was to be attacked by a fluffy blanket of pure anger

I named them the Shoe Siblings

There were 6, all with names from me

KL (knee licker), Panic Attack (a poor scared bby with HUGE eyes), Rat (just an asshole), Gentle Giant (big boi ! Thought he was most energetic, but was a good boi!) Mini M (Mini marshmallow, the tiniest bitch! Looks like a toasted marshmallow), and BWB (Black and White Bastard, stupid bitch, annoying, a pain, wishes only to cause pain, i love him) theyre all ragdoll kittens)

Literally no matter WHAT i did, i couldn't brush them

They tried to eat the brush so m an y t i me s

Attacked my fingers

"Please get off my shoe"

Play fighting each other and me

Let me do 1 brush stroke before turning around and chewing on the bristles

I let them smell the brush and my hands so i didn't freak them out

"No, thats not for kitty consumption"

Ate my shoes, ate my ankles, ate my arm, ate my shirt, ate my back

I COULD N O T BRUSH THEM! At all!!

"Leave my shoes alone please"

BWB was the WORST!

He bit onto my shoe grabbed the top and r a k e d his legs across the bottoms again and again and again, trying to tear them to shreds! Scratched the shit put of my arms too

I tried to get Mini M over by gently patting on my leg

THIS BITCH

Swung at my hand and stabbed my finger! I bled a lot, but I was fine

Panic Attack ate the fur that i had managed to brush off

KL and Rat wrapped around my leg in a ball of fury

BWB actually crawled into my lap and curl up into a ball, 'aww,' i think, 'he's giving me a hug! Maybe he feels bad'

Nope

This bitch was eating my pants >:(

Anyway another 30 mins later i was rescued by me being able to leave

(The cats were v cute tho)

And thats it :) thanks!

[siremyy]

episode 7 rundown

frickin gordy teaching robbie the ways of the bench i love it

ok they’re acting like a runthrough is a big radical idea but my school starts doing runthroughs like a week or two before tech week so...?

“propmaster” what the fuck i wanna put that on my resume

rise what the FUCK do you MEAN we didn’t get to hear jeremy sing

oh what the heck coach said goodnight that means NO SEX AND YET

ANNABELLE’S FUCKING FACE SHE K N O W S

“we can rock it all night long” eurggghhh my face like instinctually clenched up and jeremy is rIGHT THERE FUCK

sean stop playing with my heartstrings like that reeee

ok where’s tracey?? i thought she was helping sasha with this???

IM PISSING MYSELF AT ROBBIE HIS FUCKING “no. no. no.” AND EMOTIONLESS DROP TO HIS KNEES WAJKDHFKLG

robbie don’t get defensive yeesh he’s the director it’s his job to give you constructive criticism even if he sucks at it

maashous don’t you dare leave

y’all better stop making my boy maashous sad i stg

can the principal stfu about pirates of penzance NO ONE LIKES PIRATES IM TELLING YOU

ok a lot of teachers at my school offer extra credit if ppl see the musical so why doesn’t lou just,,, do that?

since when is lou on a first name basis w his students?? anyway SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT “not everything’s about you lou” SHIT U RIGHT

ok like i get gwendy is cute and all but the “u calm me down” thing was kiiiiinda creepy

YES JEREMY CALL HIM OUT FUCK IM THRIVING

“you know why” THATS SO GOOD I LOVE MY BOY JEREMY HE DESERVES THE WORLD

ok ik that scenes over but jeremy’s heckin voice broke when he said “just don’t touch me” fuckkk they’re both so emotional im about to break simon’s face

maashous, literally taking apart a fucking dryer in the middle of the night: yeah im fine

HE’S SO DISTRESSED RISE CAN CATCH THESE HANDS

ajdghdfhkafhg liletteeee i love her

gordy is FINALLY getting what he deserves and i am GLAD

nevermind oops

jolene had me fuckin wheezing god i wanna be her friend

michael sNAPPED and for good reason but also YIKES ALL MY KIDS ARE UNHAPPY CAN WE GO BACK TO EPISODE 1

ok if gwen can drive then why is there this big drama over her getting a ride from her dad??

omg maashous thought he was getting kicked out MY BABY BOY NO

ugh heck i knew gordy’s meetings were too good to be true

OH MY GOD JEREMY’S DEADPAN “and in the meantime” IM FUCKING HOWLING HE’S SO PETTY and rightfully so I LOVE HIM IT’S WHAT SIMON DESERVES

“we had ONE scene that was working” f u c k this is the best plot in the show im cackling

lou is being so annoying im about to snap

jeremy swerving out of the way when robbie storms off yeah same

lou goddamm stop taking out your anger on your fricking students you are being an a s s h o l e

okay i know this has been addressed but WHAT IS THIS FUCKIN YOSHI

lou having a freaking meltdown is a mood but also i am 16 and he is like 40 so uhhhh GROW UP DUDE

yayyyy sasha and michael made up

ok ok ok nose piercings have to start with studs you can’t just go straight to a ring and also they don’t look that pretty like five minutes after but ANYWAY

yoooooo gwendy finally kisseddd why can’t the rest of these ships be so simple

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY MISSED THE FIRST TOUCH ME CHORUS THIS IS SLANDER UPON MY BOY SEAN

heaven TOUCH

wow gordy looks swell in that jacket

oh my god that was fast y’all are taking this relationship mighty quickly

SO MUCH SEX IS HAPPENING AHHHHH

what do you mEAN there’s only two more minutes SO MUCH IS UNRESOLVED WTF

simon,,,,,,,,,,

do they have a sheet,,,, in between them,,,, while fucking?? is that normal?

oh my god simon my boy no no no he’s in pain

annabelle don’t kICK him oUT just because he don’t wanna smash no more you can see he’s hurting be suPPORTIVE AAAAAA

that’s the eND?????

final thoughts: CAN YOU BELIEVE WE STILL HAVEN’T HEARD JEREMY SING SOLO????? OUTRAGEOUS. no but actually. his touch me scene would have been perfect for a realization moment for simon. i’m really hoping we see that later because it would HIGHKEY be a wasted opportunity. (more thoughts under the cut)

anyway. a LOT happened in this episode, but not as much as last week. lou had his breakdown. tbh don’t really care about his storming out bc tracey could still save this show. also it felt like lou was almost purposefully jabbing at robbie, so not surprising there.

we had like,,, not enough lilette this ep. i wish they’d put more into her storyline. it feels like she got robbie and kind of faded back. at most she acts as a vice in her mother’s storyline with coach or as the supporting character in simon’s.

which reminds me: simon’s storyline. quite probably one of the best aspects of the show. ted does a fantastic job of showing simon’s emotional turmoil and sean is swell as usual, even if he’s a side character. that confrontation was REALLY nice to see because i was worried they were gonna portray jeremy as liking simon no matter how harsh simon could be, so i’m glad to see jeremy standing up for himself a little bit even if it’s making simon more conflicted. also i was CACKLING at the fucking deadpan woybr scene like the way jeremy just looks away and rubs his nose and simon’s sitting there like fuck and lou’s like,,, please,,,,,, can we have this one thing,,,, god that’s the peak of comedy sorry to say it. i’m super excited to see more going forward.

and sasha and michael?? heckin cute. i really liked that they showed the impacts of what both are going through and that they resolved it peacefully in the end. i ALSO appreciate that they’re showing sasha really thinking through whether or not she’s keeping the baby, even though her douchey boyfriend seems convinced she’s getting an abortion.

also, if they hurt my boy maashous i’ll riot. i feel like we’re gonna see a lot more maashous angst moving forward and idk if i’m ready. his scene with the wife and the dryer where he literally thought he was getting himself kicked out was beautiful, rarmian did great. 

also gwen and gordy are together and they fucked on the beach gross do u know how bad sand is for your hoo-hah so i guess that’s that?? like what else are they gonna do with that now???

anyway,,, siremy was the highlight of the episode but who’s surprised. also annabelle was being a self-centered hecker and like,, that’s not you barb what is you doing.

super excited for next week yee-haw.

ok but look at this shit im cackling

[jrbalufbfnzl]

20.01.19

Smoking in the morning is deadass the death of me. I want to quit so bad for motivation,health and money and also bc i don't want to be addicted to anythibt bc it sucks and i want my creativity back (as if i ever had some ) but overall im just utterly unhappy and lowkey anxious all the time. I also want to stop eating and take pills to sleep all day for it to be painless but i have to ttzke care of my son and my daughter its really hard to be in the middle of smth rlly healthy abd hezling and having all the demons glazing on the other side. I mean i have erything i wabt and need (nice house,two d

of my fav dog breeds,designer shoes i always wanted,all the music instruments i ever wanted, a fire ass computer and i worked my ass off for all that. I swear ill get to work when all my paint stash will be dried n expired. I quit hard drugs a year ago n stopped taking pills to have fun or numb out the pain since months idk how many exactly cuz im actually kind of scared of suffering while i die n shit or havr my brain permabebtly damaged. I have so many projects i cant get my mind to do,i dobt have aby motivation although i actuallu trust in my projects. Except from smokibg thered nothing i can turn into a routine, not even starving or feeding n walking my two children. I lost 1kg and put them back on in a two week spawn i dont have anu motivztion to workout, i canna cut my legs off. Its bot uch but its a lot to me sincr i was 3kg away from my goal wright so thats 1/3rd of the rozd. I relapsed w self harm like a month ago,it was pretty bad but i known worse. Idk what to di w my life and my bf but im focusing on ly life and if he leaves my ass its ok he wasbt the one and its one problem less, ion have any strenght to fight for him i can only passively stay bc i just dont feel like i have anh value to him. But he told me he thought i was pretty this morning and i will journal evrry sweet momebts and compliments to feel safe again. Ion wannz seek for jis validatiob that much but its painful to be w someone n thinking they dont value u or even think youre pretty. Even tho know i hav a bad relationship w my appearence and looks in general. The first toll on my self esteem and when things started to go downhill wzs a yezr ago. We had grrat moments since of course but nothong substancial compared to our first months i think ? I least secually because i was never happy, not even once, xith my body since a yezr. It weighs hevzy. I want to go back to ballet classes so bad aswl. I hate this pandemic for the first time and its not making me bend towards resistznce, i comply and isolate and im just looking around thibkine damn son. V first world problem ik. I have no onr to talk to in the sense of i dont really wanna complain bc thats all ill do. The brain fog thibgy is pretty bad eveb tho ik i recovered parts of my ability to read b focus znd stuff but smoking is bringing me down again i soent so much time fighting the fatigue when i couldve solve things. But anxiety is a bitch so i guess i have to deal with it as well. im grateful that i have a new shrink n a good one even tho it costs money. I have an appoibyment this evening to talk ab surgery to my psychiatrist and well see what she thinks of it bc i wont be able to change her after i comed cleab but well see, if its a hard no im paying for that mf straight up and ill see later for my tooth ? Idk. cant borrow money to this friend no more because im not in good terms w him bc of my bf n im afraid to work bc im afraid thzt he hurts me bc hes bummed about it. Im afraid of vengence where i wish he would aprove,empower me to do it, come w me to protect me and pick me up when im done. Ik its a lot to ask and thts why im even more grateful for my best friends support.

My bfs mom is coming over n i cannot stznd her toxic ass so im staying in bed pretending to sleep. Ik itd disrespectful but i dont rrally care at that point. I feel dead and empty.

I have an unpaid comission work to fo n i have 0 willpower and focus even tho the elements of composition n the composition itself for the drawing are laid down already. First shitty draft was 90% i approved i just dont have aby energy to focus and make it good. Ill to it anyway bc rhe deadlines in a few days.

I hate the phone and how long i spend staring at it

My nails are soft i cant scratch i hate it aswl

Went to sleep woke up m gna sleep again til my appt w the shrink

[thegaiamuse]

weLP HERE’S A NEW & UPDATED BIO FOR THE MAIN FOR ACCEPTANCES AHA WHoops.

      ♡ — * » okay so it’s kylen again. nineteen, pst timezone, any pronouns bc whatev. anyways, i’m here with by second child poppy. she is the loml & is such a strong & independent person who just wants the world to have lower crime rates & shit. not to mention she’s played by the gorgeous zendaya. now tbh i was gonna apply for pan, but after seeing homecoming i needed this babe. anyways ! like this or hmu to plot !

{ MUSE GAIA } did you see POPPY TAYLOR walk into the fraternity house ? i heard the TWENTY-ONE year old FRESHMAN is known to be OUTGOING & ADVENTUROUS. but in the hallways, SHE is infamous for their STUBBORN & SASSY behaviour. one thing is sure, the FORESTRY major is perfect for pennbrooke.

pansexual ! she/her

B A C K G R O U N D

poppy has seven siblings, her mom got around & didn’t commit to relationships at all. poppy is the third eldest !

between all eight of them, they were all born withing seven years of one another. 

the two oldest were irish twins ( born within the same year of one another ), then there was poppy, then poppy’s younger sibling, then another set of irish twins, & finally the youngest being an actual pair of twins. 

when the actual twins were born poppy’s mom kinda just... ? quit ? she didnt feel like she could take care of all eight of her kids. 

so when poppy was six she was put in the foster care system. the system tried to keep all of them together but failed bc they were such a big family. 

the twins got adopted quickly & poppy & her sister got put into foster homes. soon enough though poppy was put into a group home / orphanage & she hated it in the beginning. 

but she quickly made a lot of new friends & quickly considered them as siblings & what not. with these new siblings tho they formed a little group called the “ forgotten titans ”  ( bc gaia had a shit ton of titans & what not ). 

they called themselves forgotten titans bc they thought that they had big personalities & that they were just... forgotten in the world. 

poppy was like their leader though ! they followed her around & made her feel a lot better, especially after being separated from her actual siblings. 

however; school started & poppy was v v unhappy. she didn’t like having restrictions on her of who should could bring over & who’s house she could go to. 

on top of that she was not digging the curfews at all ??? she put up with it though throughout middle school

high school though..... uh oh. sophomore & junior year were really shitty for her. 

 it was during junior year that she kinda really went downhill ? like.... she totally ending up skipping all her class to go to the marshes to get down & dirty ?

like this youtube channel sums her up: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkVa-0nz73GpLfjKcHk_fhA/videos

she also had an epiphany about how fucked up the world was & what not, not just with the foster care system but with everything in general. 

poppy would go home so late & literally be smirking as she stood in the doorway with mud up to her knees in mud while she’s being yelled at

it was during this time of being yelled at that poppy became really sassy & stubborn. she’s very keen on standing up to herself & to others who don’t want to stand up to themselves.

but yeah, bc she skipped a lot of her junior year classes she had to repeat the year which was super unfortuante & ‘ uncool ’ ( not like she cared at all though tbh )

but yEAH. she finished high school & shit like that & was given a large sum after graduating so that she could get outta the orphanage.

she speant her money on a corvair van & went to america just to travel for a few years. 

she traveled a lot, met a lot of great people. she found herself going to a lot of protests & doing a lot of weird freelance jobs: like posing for an art class nude. or being a secret shopper. it definitely wasn’t an easy few years, but she loved every second of it.

when she decided to go to college.... she kinda was iffy about it. she doesn’t have a lot of money so she’s super skeptical about it all. 

but she decided that it would be good to be able to get an actual job after graduating so that if/when she has kids she can actual take care of them & not be like her own mom.

that being said, she’s a freshman studying forestry ! she wanted a job where she could be out in nature & this seemed like the best fit for her tbh. 

P E R S O N A L I T Y 

poppy is very head-strong & she really enjoys having intellectual conversations with people. arguments too. 

she’s gonna need... a tutor.. but wont admit it ? mainly bc she has this thing where if she asks for help she feels like the other person might belittle her & she DOES NOT like feeling belittled. 

v v v sassy ! she can talk back very easily. 

also.... she’s somewhat of a pacifist. she’s not too keen on fighting hand to hand but she... she can definitely handle herself well in a fight. 

street smart > school smart

so... so stubborn. she is not the type to back down or pussy out from something ! she will take everything head & accept all dares sO FAST.

T R I V I A 

poppy entered as a forestry major. but i feel like she’s going to realize she hates it at some point & switch to something law or justice related. or ATTEMPT to dual major. 

she’s fluent in english & knows a bunch of french. so she can understand it & what not but sometimes she’s kinda just like. .... “ what are you saying ? ”

she is not tol like zendaya ! she’s like.... 5′5″

v v stingy with money. she is working like three jobs just to afford being at uni. ( she prolly works at the coffee shop at the school ). 

when she buys shit she buys it to last. so she buys like $$$ every full moon. 

she lives in sweats & sweatshirts tho

she’s allergic to cats & dogs though ! anything with fur unfortunately !

im just going to give her my diet tbH..... she doesn’t eat red meats & doesn’t drink milk. also fast food is disgustING towards her. 

she really gay.... like. shiT MAN. girls are her thing. she really likes looking at them. oooooh & she gets hooked on legs okay. that shit is her shit.

but then she goes & looks at guys & is like “ hot damn i cannot just go for the ladies ”

ah yes, poppy has also never been in a relationship before. she.. she wasn’t allowed to date in the orphanage bc she couldn’t bring people back. & while traveling she didnt wanna do long distance so like ??? yEAH

[httpjoi]

New Year. New Me. {Peter Pan Imagine}

Part One  Part Two Part Three

Peter Pan Imagine

Author: Joi A. Wade

Tagged: @tmrhollandkay, @ arfrona

Requested: Yes,  HI CAN I HAVE A EXTREME FLUFF IMAGINE WITH ROBBIE KAY OR PETER PAN WHERE YOU GUYS GET INTO A REALLY REALLY BAD FIGHT AND YOU DECIDE YOU GUYS SHOULD BREAK UP AND HES LIKE NO BABE WAIT IM SORRY AND YOURE LIKE NOPE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE AND THEN YOU LEAVE AND HE CANT FUNCTION WITHOUT YOU SO HE TRIES TO WIN YOU BACK AND IT TAKES A WHILE BUT ONE DAY HE FINALLY WINS YOU BACK EXTREMELY FLUFFY PLEASE

Note: Thank you all for being such amazing people and being patient with me! Thank you for loving my slow ass, and my stories, it means a lot that you guys stick with me!

It’s been a while since Y/n had seen him. Never had she thought the time would come that he’d be finally calling her phone, in such a long period of time. Six an a half years is a long time to wait. Especially for an ex. 

“I’m glad you had time to see me, Y/n. It’s been so long.” 

Y/n smiles politely, looking down at the cup of tea her company had ordered for her. 

“Well, I gotta admit, it was quite the surprise when you called, Newton.” 

“Newt. Please, call me Newt. You’re one of the very few that I allow to, and…I miss how it sounds coming from your mouth.” He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck in nervousness. “S-Sorry, that um..sounded bloody creepy, but you get my point.”

Sighing heavily, her politeness was slowly starting to fade away. She knew what this was, she wasn’t stupid. In the past six years Y/n has gotten not one phone call or text message from this guy, and then all of sudden here he is acting all awkward and charming at the same time. Setting her cup down after taking a short gulp of it, she finally makes eye contact with the man before her.

“Look, Newton. Things didn’t work out between us because you loved your music more than I.” 

“That’s not true-”

“Let me finish,” She holds her hand up, silencing him. “I was understanding, I was fair and actually wanted you to be happy and let you go. I moved on. Which was a mistake, I’ll admit, but it helped my unhappiness turn into something else. I fell in love again. And now that I am once again heartbroken, you decide to turn up, saying sweet nothings to me as if all of what you put me through never happened. Now how is that fair to me? ” 

“Love, I came back for you because I realized my only dream was with you. You were my dream.” 

“Oh, cut the bullshit.” 

Newt’s eyes widen at her venomous tone. Last time he had spoken to Y/n, she had such a sweet demeanor about herself, everything about her was kind and gentle. Earlier on this little gathering she was calm and collected, but now she is speaking to him in such a way he had never heard her speak before. 

“What’s happened to you?” 

“Life, Newton. Life fucking happened to me. You wanna know what I’ve been through? You leave me for your stupid music career, not even returning my calls or emails or letters. Then, when I finally move on to another guy, I find out he’s cheating on me with some bitch for nearly half of the time we’ve been together, then trying to make me seem like the bad guy! And now that I’m somewhat over him, you show the fuck up! Out of nowhere!”

“Love, calm down-”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down! I deserve to be fucking mad! I put up with so much, sticking up for guys that don’t deserve it, and I wonder why I end up the same way! Heartbroken!” By now, she was starting to draw attention to their table, alarming a certain few while the others watched with anticipation. Newt stands up slowly with his hands up, trying not to provoke her any further. 

“Y/n, please, I didn’t mean to struck a nerve-”

“Bullshit!”

“Can you please talk to me without cursing at me, for bloody sake?” 

“I just think it’s a coincidence how you show up, right when I start to get out of my funk and feel better about finally leaving that dickhead. Were you just waiting for the perfect opportunity to make your way back into my life? When I was at my most vulnerable? Well, news flash for you, buddy! The only thing you’re getting from me, are these hands!”

Y/n was about to jump right over the table and tackle the poor, confused, Brit. Luckily, someone was able to grab her by the waist at the right time before she could even cross the table. Holding her close to their chest, Newt was able to take a few steps back, while making eye contact with the person behind her. Y/n squirmed against their hold, until the familiar scent of pine clogged her nostrils. Her squirming ceased. For now.

“Who the bloody hell are you?” 

“Oh, you don’t remember me, Newtie? I’m hurt, I thought we had something special.” 

Once Newt’s eyes actually scanned his face, he glared. Lowering his hands from his self-defense stance, he crossed them over his chest. “Very funny, Pan. I see that you didn’t change at all. Except for getting uglier, of course.”

“And you’re still the same after all these years, as well. Except you’re still single.” 

Y/n pushes away from Peter with great force, nearly knocking him backwards. Straightening out her shirt, she huffs in anger. “What the hell are you doing here? Where’s your little sex toy?” 

Peter drew his attention to Y/n, the playful glint in his eyes turning melancholy. 

“Y/n, I know I am the last person you want to see right now, and I understand that. I was a completely asshole, and deserve to burn in hell for what I did behind your back. But, if you give me a moment to explain-”

“So it’s you.” Newt connects, as a grin started to form on his face. “You’re the one who cheated, while you were still in the relationship with Y/n. Did you honestly think you would get away with that?”

“Can we talk somewhere a little more private, love?” 

“No. And don’t call me that. We can settle this right here, right now. I’ve been waiting to actually kick your ass, now that the tears finally stopped. Do you realize how humiliated you made me feel after that night? How absolutely filthy you left me? And you had some nerve to try and blame me! The only person that saw good in you, cared for you, loved you!” Each word spoken was a shove to his chest, which he happily took. He was just glad that she was actually talking to him. 

“I understand that you are in pain-”

“Oh, you can’t even begin to understand! Giving your love to someone who you thought was the one, only to have it blow up in your face, you have no idea what that feels like!”

“I could’ve warned you in the first place, Y/n. It’s your own fault for thinking a bloke like Pan would ever-” Before he could finish his unneeded input, Y/n picked up his cup of tea and threw what was left of it into his face. It was just hot enough to prove a point: for him to shut the fuck up. “Ahh! Mother of fu-Jesus Christ! Shit, shit, shit, shit! Bloody, burning hell!” 

Newt rushes to find the nearest bathroom, a few workers following behind him, as others just stare in shock or gaze in amusement. Placing the cup back on the table, Y/n turns back to Peter, with rage darkening her eyes. 

“Y/n, I-”

“I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me. How did you even know I was here?” 

“That’s not important, what’s important is us fixing this problem that we have-”

“We don’t have a problem! You do, and only you! I was perfectly happy being with you, I didn’t care what people said about your past relationships because none of that mattered, it’s in the past for a reason! I didn’t care when they called you bad news, I didn’t care that my parents didn’t approve of you, and I didn’t care how much we argued over stupid shit! What I cared about was you, and how much I loved you. You were there when Newt left, you were my friend, someone I could talk to when I needed it. You listened, you cared…And when you asked me out, I thought moving on was too good to be true, but you changed that. And look where it got us! Five fucking years I gave to you, and this whole time that was just a game to you.”

“It wasn’t a game-” 

“Hearing a lot of bullshit today, you know. You knew exactly what you were doing, Peter. And you knew the person you did it with I despised, yet you still did it anyway.” Tears were starting to form in her eyes, as the heat of the moment was dying down and reality was coming back to her. The man that broke her already bruised heart was standing right there, with the guts to say that he didn’t mean what he did. What does he take her for, a fool? 

“Y/n, what I did was unforgivable, we both know that. But, love, I regret it.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Three words that don’t matter at all to me? I regret giving you my time, mind, body and soul. I regret thinking that scum like you could ever change. I regret loving you, Peter Pan. So I’ll say it again, since you obviously didn’t listen the first time. Stay. The hell. Away. From me.” 

With that said, Y/n left money on the table and took her leave. Storming outside the door, she roughly wiped the single tear that escaped her eye before anyone could see. 

She was so over crying.

But, the sound of the door chimes made her stop only for a second. He seriously could not be trying to chase after her, could he? The rapid footsteps confirmed that prediction, making her bite the inside of her cheek, to stop herself from doing anything she’ll regret. Again. 

“Y/n, please! You gotta listen to me, love-”

“I don’t want anything to do with you, Peter. Just crawl back to wherever you came from, and forget we ever existed. Let me move on! Live your own life, so I can get on with mine!”

“Y/n, baby, I’m begging you!”

“Nothing you can say or do will change my mind, Peter-!” 

“ M A R R Y   M E ! ” 

In that moment…everything just stops.

From the noisy traffic, to the beating of her own heart. 

It was silent.

With her covered mouth agape, Y/n stands there in complete and utter disbelief. Seeing that he now had her attention, Peter slowly descended to one knee, staring up at her with eyes that were filling with tears. 

“Y/n L/n. Will you marry me?”