#im really proud of this one guys 6=w=9

[autism-corner]

he's really got it all!!

[thegeminisage]

ok, now that i've watched all of tos (none of the movies yet...) i am going to do the top ten worst and best episodes, according to Me. they are as follows:

WORST EPISODES

10. the savage curtain - idk who thought putting abe lincoln in a cage match with the vulcan version of ghandi against like, ghengis khan and space hitler would be a good idea. but it wasn't. i did like seeing the vulcan father of logic though like "im gonna go sacrifice myself for peace" ok king

9. i, mudd - all of the mudd episodes are bad. he's not charming at all whatsoever. however, this one is better than the other one because uhura gets to pretend to sell out kirk and they're SOOO cute about it. her little giggle when he PICKS HER UP BY HER SHOULDERS and tells her how proud he is. PLEEEEASE

8. charlie x - the entire premise of this episode is that the bad guy is just autistic. and then they make him live on a planet without people because he can't adjust to normal life ???

7. shore leave - obvious racism of this episode aside, the faux-irish jig that played while kirk was being menaced by his extremely unfunny old bully nearly drove me over the edge. we DO love a good mccoy death fakeout tho

6. a piece of the action - if i had any interest in gangster films before this it's all gone now. that being said. i loved when kirk drove the little car. he was so bad at it. he was so happy.

5. mudd's women - like he's literally just selling women?? and the plot twist is that secretly they're ugly?????

4. who mourns for adonias - this is just "what if ALIENS build the pyramids bro" except for the 1960s. nail in the coffin for this one was kirk proudly declaring they didn't needs gods - because they already had the One God, thank you very much!

3. the paradise syndrome - WHY WOULD YOU HAVE NATIVE AMERICANS MISTAKE KIRK FOR GOD. WHY. like i know why but Why. i think the very worst part of this episode was that it had an amnesia plot that would have FUCKED if you had simply removed the people. if there hadn't been people in this it would've been in my top 10 episodes. i think this broke me.

2. the omega glory - this is the same as the last episode except there's no amnesia, and also the "native americans" are white cosplayers who worship the american flag and mistake kirk for god because he can recite the pledge of allegiance yes really. if i had a nickel for every time this happened i'd only have two nickels etc etc at least kirk didn't knock anybody up in this one ig

1. patterns of force - why would you make your two jewish leads wear swastikas and then literally be whipped by nazis. i know he's such a bad person but not even william shatner deserves that. number one worst episode everyone says it's omega glory but it's this one

BEST EPISODES

10. plato's stepchildren - this episode is hard to rank because like it's both good and bad. the torture scenes were genuinely upsetting, especially the ones at the end w/ spock & nurse chapel, because they weren't just violence being inflicted on tied up guys, but they were SUPPOSED to be upsetting, like it was literally the point. and also this episode bears the distinction of THEEE kirk & uhura kiss. literally historic.

9. the trouble with tribbles - i feel like everyone's heard of this but it really is as good as everyone says. sometimes 1960s humor doesn't translate to 2020s humor but it was genuinely hysterical start to finish. also, the distinct trilling sound was so imprinted in my brain i recognized it in the 2009 movie where i had never registered it before.

8. the naked time - aside from the KING SHIT george takei pulled with the fencing this episode also contains the "i am in control of my emotions [sobbing]" moment and kirk & spock LITERALLY having a slapfight. this episode has everything. an absolute masterpiece

7. the empath - i feel like this paired with "the world is hollow and i have touched the sky" really made me a Bones Understander. i feel a little bad about that bc everyone says the characterizations in s3, or actually that the season as a whole, is kinda shaky? but i watched without knowing that and i feel like i Get It now. also, this was the only score i went and relistened to on spotify

6. tholian web - the spock & mccoy episode ever. there's so many things to say about this from the death fakeout to kirk's little space suit but what TRULY got me was the instant and totally nonverbal agreement to lie straight to kirk's face to both preserve personal dignity and troll the shit out of him (while chekov and sulu are like also silently laughing as they listen in no less). what this episode made me realize was that it's a good thing they argue all the time and make kirk play referee because if they were on the same side kirk wouldn't stand a chance. like he'd be finished.

5. the city on the edge of forever - ok, so, this episode made me feel like i was having a mental break. the time travel. spock's little hat. when he watches kirk kiss edith and then goes back into their room to pretend he didn't see anything. mccoy and kirk basically hugging at the end when edith bites it.

4. requiem for methuselah - the first time i watched this i was kinda like :/ because how does kirk fall in love with a woman in FOUR HOURS? that aside the ending scene blew my tits clean off. i paced around my house for like 30 minutes going "what the FUCK was that" because i couldn't simply lie down and sleep after seeing it. rewatching the episode with uh. new context made me like it a little better. but even if it had been garbage the last scene shook me so thoroughly it would still need to be on this list. i'm getting wound up just thinking about it. number one most shocking tos moment.

3. the dagger of the mind - look, i understand that this episode was technically just run-of-the-mill stuff as far as everybody else is concerned but they put james t kirk in a little brainwashing machine. and the machine was shaped like a chair. and it gives people amnesia sometimes. i don't know how i'm expected to behave normally

2. this side of paradise - this is the episode where a flower jizzes on spock and gives him feelings. and look: it's really funny, and there's a lot to love about it. but the ending where kirk hurls verbal abuse at spock for a solid 92 seconds WITHOUT STOPPING followed by: spock beating the shit out of him until he gets his logic back. i have rewatched this perhaps 1,000 times at minimum. what the fuck were they doing

1. conscience of the king - this episode got me into this mess. i don't think i can elaborate further without significant self-incrimination. let's just say what happened was i thought "oh i'll just watch this one tos episode for context for the fanfiction" and one month later i'm writing fic about [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

ok, that's my list. i thought about doing honorable mentions for episodes that had scenes i liked even though the overall episode didn't make it into my top 10. but then i realized that would mean recapping basically the entire series and this post is already too long. i do have to give the pon farr episode a shoutout though because even though so much of it was offputting there was literally a titty window in kirk's shirt. like, it's the pon farr episode. ok NOW i'm done

[coiled-dragon]

20 questions for fic writers

Omg big tag game :D thanks for the tag @thetentaclecommander ♥

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

146.... 146!!!!!!! Its taken me 12 years to get that many...

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

468,189...... 8D and 1/4th of that... was all from Last Year, 2023, the year of Dracfield

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well if I list all of the ones I have written for, its a pretty big list. But like... The Passenger, Renfield/Dracula media in general, Dead by Daylight, Stranger Things, Rise of the Guardians, Encanto, Gravity Falls, Pokemon... Lots of other misc horror media, too~

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

GOD can I skip this?? Because its a fast way for everyone to look at me and condemn me because the one thing all these fics have in common are problematic ships around One Type of Problematic and im anxious but like. Fuck it.

Living with Max - Camp Camp, MaxVid longfic, abandoned (For now) - 1893 Kudos When Dealing With Demons - Gravity Falls, BillDip Longfic - 1116 Kudos Late Night Visits - Gravity Falls, BillDip - 875 Kudos Keeping Secrets - Gravity Falls, BillDip - 798 Kudos A Sort of Welcome Distraction - Gravity Falls, BillDip - 754 Kudos

I aint linking them and if you go find them mind the content lmfao

5. Do you respond to comments?

I usually try to!! Sometimes! To at least half of them ;w; sometimes I just dunno what to say...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

HAHA..OH BOY... that would be Si Tú No Estás Aquí an Encanto fic with double main character death so like. Heads Up if you read it. Proud of it but man it hurts

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

God I have to think uhhhh.. Probably Father's Day, a DBD AU fic that's tooth rottingly sweet, imo. I know Babies Ever After isn't for every character but I really do hold it close to my heart for Evan and Meg ;3;

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not in a while, but it's not uncommon. I write everything from Incest to underage to bestiality to snuff to necro... so it usually sets people off. Doesnt happen as often as it used to though

9. Do you write smut?

Looks at 85 of my 146 fics being marked Explicit

Yea

10. Do you write crossovers? 

Sometimes! But it has to be an idea that reeeeally grabs me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Yep, have had some translated to Chinese, Russian, and Spanish

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yep, at least one published, partially finished long fic

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Thats a cruel thing to ask a bitch with ADHD

but I think it'd be BlackIce (Jack Frost x Black Ice) from Rise of the Guardians

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

HAHA ONE?

I have dozens that are half done or just a line in a document... Id love to finish them, but most will never see the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths?

God. idk. Tell me what my strengths are??

I'd like to say 'capturing characters voices'. I think im good at that...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably writing action. I can see it so cool in my head but writing it down?? uggghghhghh

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't usually write dialogue in other languages BUT I have done it for Encanto fics! I usually try to find someone who speaks the language if I'm not confident in writing it but with Spanish I know my way around it enough to feel relatively confident.

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

Harry Potter waaaaay back 2011-ish? on FF.Net lol. Always loved Drarry and Snarry, you can see even back then I had my Tastes figured out XD

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? 

idk man, I really don't. I've written a lot I enjoyed at this part, fics Ive gone back and read more than once! But I just cant make myself Pick one or even a top three.... So you'll JUST have to read all 146 and figure out which one YOU guys like (just avoid the ones that make you wanna die inside I wont blame you!)

I! AM not gonna tag anyone! Do this whole questionnaire if you want!! I love you guys! Thank you TTC I love you too!!!!!

[hirokiyuu]

369 for ask meme ?

hehe tyyyyy

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

honestly probably the tangent comm i did, i think i really managed to hit hte exact vibe with it that i wanted and the fact that i hit each point i wanted to (talking abt dys as a gardener, comparing tang+nem, sol as a friend who she also hates a bit, Mom Feelings) while still keeping it at the 900 word limit is like. smth im really proud of. i think it came otu really good wwwww im v v happy w/it

6. Favorite title you used

LKGHLDSKGHLSHDKG GUY WHO FAMOUSLY MAKES ALL HER TITLES STOLEN FROM OTHER MEDIA.......... tbh tho im pretty happy with half the atonement for a lobocorp xover title bc like...... manifests themes of both works + also the theme of the fic itself u kno.

(projmoon disclaimer: please dont talk to me abt projmoon i dont want to think abt all the shit they pulled it makes me miserable)

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

i'm gonna cheat a little bit on this one bc even tho i havent actually published any of it on ao3 it has to be leona/yuujin............ i know i invented one of these guys but. i really do love parallels of people who are miserable finding each other and like. not Fixing each other but finding comfort in being understood. they arent going to solve each others problems but being together is better than being alone........ now the yare understood......... u kno

[vriskacircus]

got this ask on my main but im going to answer it here @owlfacenightkit

ok im picking jane cause im objectively correct about this guy in every single way

1: the lesbianest lesbian to ever lesbian but she takes So long to figure it out. shes having a crisis and everyone else is just sitting there like bestie... You Are A Womanliker.

2: i don't have any really big ships for him but janecallieroxy is cute as shit and we Know roxy thinks hes hot asf

3: JANE AND DIRK JANE AND DIRK JANE AND DIRK if they have one fan its me if they have no fans im dead etc etc. to quote my literal most popular post on this site: Dirk wrote Detective Pony. Jane read it. MAN. they understand each other on a level that none of the other alpha kids have they admire each other so much but dont idolize each other even when they're having stupid teen love triangle drama they still love each other soso much. When they're talking to each other on their godtier beds waiting to die and they're so so devastated about how they've acted but they just talk through it and. AUGH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SOOOOO FUCKING MUCH

4: janejake. pretty basic opinion but yeah. ive also seen romantic janedirk on occasion and im like???? no??

5: he's bigender and uses he/him and she/her pretty equally and he is So proud of it. it actually took him way less time to figure his gender out than his sexuality lmao -> he is voted most epic and cool looking god of earth c seven times in a row his fashion sense is impeccable (its actually Roxy's fashion sense. Roxy shows up to Jane's house at least once a month with outfits for him and Jane has so much fun w it)

6: this exchange:

7: she reminds me so much of myself as a little kid. she doesn’t know how to help her friends and doesn't understand whats messed up about her own life yet but she just so badly wants to do right and be happy. shes also very uptight in the same way i used to be and it hurts a little to watch her let out her silly side. but like in a good way. have i mentioned i love her

8: oh god hes so embarrassing about jake. i dont fault him for it cause god knows teenagers in love are embarrassing and ive Been There. but it makes me die a little inside

9: SHE IS A FUCKING CINNAMON ROLL! SHE'S A SWEET AND CARING KID AND POSTCANON DOESNT EXIST.

[daedalusdavinci]

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year?

ive published roughly 40k this year and thats it :thumbsup:

ive finished about 87k worth of stories about ocs that i didnt publish, and my current wip docs are 40k and 20k (also about ocs, also wont be published). i have absolutely no idea how much i scrapped, but its probably a lot

2. How many works did you publish this year?

two whole fics :')

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

i kind of hate them both and think theyre cringe, but ig follow him home? it was fun to write and eri liked it, which is basically how i measure whether or not my eridve fics r good.

of the shit that i didnt post, i wrote a little bit about my ocs and their commitment issues that i still think was kind of swag of me. i have shown it to absolutely no one, and know no one willing to read it if i did. hit me up, i guess

3. What work of yours has the most hits?

crow strider-lalonde-leijon is currently reigning w/ abt 100 more than the other. of all time, home intrusion continues to dominate. shoutout to batfam fans, you guys scare the shit out of me.

4. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

the crow fic got a better reception than i thought it would! i think some people reading it were really confused, but there were some people who really enjoyed it, which surprised me. i was expecting it to wind up more like the eridve fic, which has exactly one comment, from eri.

5. Favorite title you used

it has to be follow him home bc i hate the crow fic title. shoutout to my unpublished titles tho, "Silver's Thief" and "if joker could beatbox" theyre real winners. silvers thief is a sequel to "Mariana's Beast" nd i have no explanation or justification for the second one it doesnt even have anything to do w the fic

6. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

xoxoxo im different ive grown (i havent posted enough to)

7. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

literally my ocs. shoutout to my ocs, who occupy 90% of my gray matter rn for some reason.

8. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

see above im not well

9. What work was the quickest to write?

i wrote if joker could beatbox in like two hours. between the two i published, its actually the 30k one, because follow him home took me like two years to finish and i only finished it by grace of eris encouragement

10. What work took you the longest to write?

follow him home

11. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

that you will see? none. for my eyes alone? they multiply w every passing second babey i dont know WHAT im doing but im not finishing SHIT rn

12. What’s your longest work of the year?

crow fic is about 30k. my unpublished oc fic marianas beast was 55k and i hate it so bad i could throw up its truly not structured well

13. What’s your shortest work of the year?

follow him home is about 8k. my unpublished oc fic if joker could beat box is probably close to 1k.

14. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

this completely and totally nonsense draft of silver's thief. i got bored w the original plot bc i hated the thing it was based on and decided to skip ahead and just start doing shit regardless of if it made any sense and thats where were at now. i am vaguely considering revisiting some of my old jdau drafts i never finished bc of a few kind comments i received recently that motivated me to give it another look, but we will see. (maybe if i receive MORE COMMENTSWINKWINKNUDGENUDGE /j)

15. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

fucking nothing this year my additional tags re mostly just me running my mouth

16. Your favorite character to write this year?

shoutout to eridan you are unhinged and truly a delight. also shoutout to psii in that fucking draft i DELETED rip youll never see my genius (UNLESS.........)

i like writing my ocs also. clearly. clarifying which would be pointless but i do have a favorite to write this year.

17. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

davesprite. now whyd i do that to myself. there was a thin line between what i was doing and an oc and im not sure i didnt cross it that au was maybe too much

18. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

hey guys what if i went back to jason/nico what if i said fuck everything and went all the way back

just kidding im goign to write bro/psii and youre all going to hate it

19. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

my ass has reread retirement so many times i should get my head checked about it. i didnt write it this year and i dont think its like. structured well. but man if i didnt just write all the fun stuff and nothing else i love old man yaoi

20. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

t. thirty. what did i do wrong....

21. Which work has the most comments?

crow fic has 44 comments, half of which are probably me saying thank you. all time, its a match made for heaven, w 108. when that fic popped off it REALLY popped off, i dont think ANY of those comments are new. idek the last time i got a comment on that one.

22. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

no lol i barely even wrote :p

23. Did you write any gifts this year?

for eri, as usual <3

24. Did you receive any gifts this year?

from @reginalusus! this fanart of a scene from safety. their jason n harvey art in general is 50% of whats making me eye my wips again, its always so inspiring

25. What’s your most common category?

its a perfect sexy little tie between gen and m/m. ah, writing only two fics

26. What do you listen to while writing?

im in my hozier era i fucking guess. unspeakable amount of hozier. however lately its been foo fighters.

27. Favorite work you wrote this year?

that oc fic i mentioned earlier. 10/10. sad it will die w me

28. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

"You do love museums, which is frustrating, because you would very much like to just hate endlessly on Texas for no reason other than you’re hot and angry and it’s not California."

both from follow him home. i also enjoy the last scene in that fic and how i wrote dave telling eridan about his childhood. this fic has some good lines, it must be said.

29. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

TWO FICS? two. only two??????? TWO?????? grad school is killing me i need to get OUT OF HERE

[bluehwale-main]

LIZ IM SICK ND TIRED OF PPL

i read ur other ask and i have a lot of some THOUGHTS

1) IM ALSO SO HAPPY THAT U DIDNT GIVE UP IN PREPARING FOR UR MOCK EXAM LIKE I AM SO PROUD OF U LET ME JUST KISS U ON THE FOREHEAD!! frr like trying not to give up is so hard to do so im rlly glad that u got thru that and that u did well on the exam :’-) I AM SO SO PROUD OF U I JUST KNOW THE RESULTS ARE GONNA BE GREAT I HAVE FAITH IN U <3

2) goodluck on ur final exams!!!!! i hope u had a good break on ur 15 days of study holiday + prepared well for ur exams!! sending u all my love and all the four leaf clovers i can find to manifest good luck on top of ur sexy brain 🍀🍀

3) INTROVERT SCORPIO????? are u hongjoong in disguise 🤨 but anyw LMAOO FR LIKE WHENEVER IM WITH MY FRIENDS I CURSE LIKE 14 YEAR OLD BOY TRYING TO ACT COOL (translation: i curse a lot) SO ABHSHSHSAHA U NEED TO TEACH ME UR WAYS!! but fr so happy for u that u get a break from exhausting toxic ppl during the holiday <3

4) WHAT IS THIS GUY DOING HE BETTER SQUARE UP BCS I CAN FIGHT POW POW 💥🥊 nah but fr one of my friends told me that guys won’t be friends with a girl unless they find her attractive and i was like LMAOO WHAT AHAHAHaha Haahaha.. aha… nthen i kinda realized that she’s 100% right :-/ men aint SHIT but anyw U CAN LITERALLY TREAT UR GUY FRIENDS SUPER PLATONICALLY LIKE STRICTLY PLATONIC FRIEND ZONE BEHAVIOR TYPE OF SHIT N THEY’D STILL BE LIKE oh so u’d wanna date me huh LIKE ??????????? get ur head out of ur ass

5) i hate false/misleading gossip w a passion bcs i’ve been a victim of it wayy too many times so hearing what u said makes me so MAD like ppl should mind their own business fr what. like i love silly little gossips i can giggle about but yeah it really sucks when u’re the one at the wrong edge of the sword i do not recommend nu uh mhm sucks big time

6) recommend me some kdramas pls

7) HES BLAMING U????? oh hell no HE HAS TO GO!!!! n btw u are not at fault at all for reaching out to him BCS U WOULDNT KNOW THAT HE’D START FLIRTING WITH U???? 💀 bro is kinda pathetic ngl. and yeah i do get that part abt wanting genuine male friends who only see u as a friend and like. i genuinely cant find any in my campus. i can only rely on my highschool guy friends to pull through but 95% of them study abroad so that sucks 😔

8) oooh yikes i dont like ppl who bash about their own friends :( that rlly sucks ugh ditch her!! and also hm i cant really tell who is it that snitched the gossip to the asshole BUT KEEP AN EYE ON BOTH OF THEM 😡 also its a good thing they unfollowed u bcs u R BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM <3

9) again, PROUD OF U FOR UR MOCK EXAMS AND I WISH U THE BEST OF LUCK FOR UR FINALS <3 ILY i hope ur mental peace wont hv to be ruined for u to get a degree 😭

10) honestly i have like 4 insta accounts all for different reasons (i need help ik) and i used to be so active but it just gets so tiring tht im honestly never on insta anymore. like i just repost my friend’s stories whenever they tag me lmao 😭😭😭😭 but yeah it feels nice to not be all up on ppl’s business all the time i feel u

11) IM STILL HAPPY U DID UR MOCK EXAM SO WELL‼️ DONT LET THAT SENIOR GUY GET TO U!!! keep ur head up ren ily goodluck on ur final exam and keeping ur mental peace intact <3

[literaphobe]

Any team with purpled or ITLW or ranboo for various different reasons

10. Any team with jojo or hannah or sylvee

my list

1. red

- i just cannot have this team win im so sick of it im sorry i dont even hate purpled i just cannot watch him become S tier before jojo. this is about feminism at this point like i cannot let the dudebros on reddit win and i cannot hear them go SHE SHOULD’VE NEVER BEEN IN CONTENTION FOR S TIER 😡😡😡 like i need them to DIE FR . also ranboo and wilbur missing dodgebolt every time is so funny. i would completely be ok w them getting 3rd so long as purpled is not 1st individual. Im sorry

2. green

- TAPL MY BABY IM SO SORRY ☹️☹️☹️ i want tapl to do well fr and i don’t hate 5up at all in fact i even agree it doesn’t matter if he knows the other teams well or not as long as he plays well but i just KNOW his ego would be sky fucking high if he won and its not that i don’t like seeing the mcc reddit get embarrassed but also it’s like… maybe they can win this round. they’re also allowed to get 3rd and i want tapl to do so well bc im sick of the reddit mfs saying he fell off and isn’t allowed to be A+ tier anymore or whatever the fuck like SHUT UPPPP

3. pink

- i don’t really have very many feelings here. i could easily swap 3. and 4. it’s like if u guys won fine whatever but id prefer it if u didn’t . Sorry

4. aqua

- im pretty indifferent towards fruit. scar seems really nice tho i forgot he was on this team like a second ago but i can’t pretend i’ve watched his content and am invested in his victory. i hope he does okay tho <3 like tubbo loves him n i thought that was really sweet

5. lime

- i did not expect to put this team here. but u know what. they’re a little TOO statistically overpowered for a canon event so it’s like… hm. and like yeah i like krtzyy and i think he’s due for a win but i won’t be shedding tears if they don’t get it done. also they will def be voting and campaigning for build mart which i understand but by principle i cannot root for that

6. purple

- illumina my beloved <3 but i don’t care about the rest of these guys enough to want them to win… i want them to do well tho ^_^ if dream doesn’t get first i in all honesty would rather see illumina get first (individual) than anyone else and if he’s not against yellow in dodgebolt i will probably root for him unless a team ifl deserves it more is also in dodgebolt

7. orange

- i like this team a lot but orange winning would prob mean dream didn’t win SoT and that’s simply unacceptable. No one is allowed to beat dream at SoT i have to wish on ur downfall Slightly

8. blue

- sapnap has enough wins like he has nothing to prove anymore he can just place well and sylvee and foolish can do well and be proud of themselves but im not exactly dying for them to win Sorry

9. cyan

- the redditors would LOSE their shit also Women ^_^ and jojo deserves to be taken more seriously and credited for how cracked she is

10. yellow

- i have demons -> in love w dream and NEED dnf to win

[blanket-hole]

Im calling this the faberry files cos I feel like a spy when I'm really just very gay

This is just basically timestamps of every faberry moment I could find as I was rewatching season 1-3. I don't know if anyone wants to see it but I just put it here cos why not. I wasn't really planning on posting it but here we are so it features my gay ass commentary. Anyway there u go.

gay ass looks-

-1x04- so far I’ve seen a gay ass look Quinn gives Rachel at 35:36

-1x05-39:50-not that gay but a little bit, also long

-1x09-43:02 she looks so adoring

-1x10-during endless love

-1x11-9:37 voiceover is mean but just look at those eyes and tell me I’m wrong,34:00 she literally looks so adoringly I can’t

-1x12-10:41 pretends not to see her only to look straight (or not) at her

-1x15-35:02 they’re even talking about love at the time and sitting weirdly close for enemies

-1x16-41:30 

-1x20-43:06 I can’t really see where she’s looking under those long ass lashes but I think when Rachel does that little giggle she stares at her while smiling, might just be Faberry goggles tho

-1x22-9:05 I think thats like the cutest smile my little gay heart, 14:23 Quinn is fully checking her out rn like not even subtle they’re on stage

-2x04 16:12, 41:48 at Rachel singing

-2x07-23:19 that could in no way be regarded as a platonic look of enjoying the song, especially since its just started 

-2x09- 43:04 part of dog days but its just so cute them holding hands also weird since they are still meant to hate each other lol

-2x10-6:03 this could just be my Faberry goggles but im counting it :D, 31:20 staring at Rachel while she looks sad

-2x11-11:04 could be at puck but she was looking at Rachel before when they were further apart so imma take the w also Diana looks really cute in this bit

-2x16- 4:27 is being kinda mean but also the way she looks at her <3<3<3 :DD also 5:21 if u don’t want to wait through a bit of a scene and the look then is suuuuper gay, 43:17 she looks so proud of her girlfriend :DDDDD

-2x18-52:49 she looks like such a proud girlfriend in this bit

-2x21-1:29 its only a quick look from Quinn tho

-3x06-28:26 Quinn gives Rachel the GAYEST lingering look at the end of the song (unless my eyes deceive me but I don’t think they do cos I’ve checked like 3 times :DDD)

-3x07- 25:00 this is possible the outright gayest look from Quinn ive ever seen, its during one of the songs but I had to put it in

-3x08- 41:10 the look of joy on Quinns face when Rachel touches her shoulder is just pure gay energy

-3x14- 17:27 ‘for the rest of my life’ looks at Quinn, ffs just get married already, 24:07 she literally bites her lip like wth how is this not canon

-3x19- 39:08 kind of but Quinn looks really happy when he says Rachel Berryand its so cute

Scenes together-

-before I had this idea- the “eavesdrop much” talk, and a couple of other things e.g. the ru Paul scene and the sweetie scene. 

-1x05-41:59 during somebody to love weird foot tap thing

-1x06- 18:34 gay ass looks as well, 22:58

-1x07-21:45, 28:53 (the you obviously have a lot you need to express scene), 32:07 they just get wierdly closer for no reason

-1x09-26:09 not much but still

-1x13-3:06, 11:01

-1x15-34:18 sitting really close together next to each other when they’re meant to not like each other?

-1x20-5:42 they also sit really close and a bit of gay staring

-2x02 35:40 (on left of stage next to mike) they’re seen really close and talking, 38:55 standing unreasonably close and also in weird positions for a conversation, 31:28 Quinn looks really sad when Rachel sings to Finn (could also be a Fuinn thing tho so idk)

-2x04 28:11

-2x08-9:44

-2x13- 30:51

-2x14-8:19 its shortcut the level of gay panic on Quinns face is enough for its own spot

-2x15-0:03 how closeted is it to be the only two in the celibacy club fighting over a guy that neither of them want or need lmao I just think its really funny

-2x16-9:31 the level of gay panic on racehls face when she says she’s right is just a mood, 22:27 I think this is  a scene about miscommunication and Quinn blatantly states that she thinks Rachel is much better than Finn and that she believes in her I have a lot of feelings about this scene but ill leave it at that

-2x17-16:20

-2x18-2:38 not much tho, 10:53 they’re being civil and touchy feely also leads into pretty/unpretty, 21:50 when it pans to Quinn it makes it seem like it would be a Fuinn jealousy scene but she doesn’t look jealous at all just a bit sad i think she possibly is worried about Rachel and while she understands (which is why she’s helping) she wants her to feel beautiful in her own skin sorry if I read a bit too far in lol

-2x20-29:42, 33:12, 35:30 I love how finn last episode said Quinn was so closed off with her feelings and then this scene like maybe she can be herself around Rachel idk

-3x01-10:57 Skank Quinn fully checks Rachel out as she’s leaving in this scene also right after a scene where she said she’s not interested in the boys

-3x05-22:55 talking about finchel tho

-3x08-0:00, 21:54, 37:48

-3x11-14:28,20:00 is also a gay ass look but shes talking to Rachel so I put it here

-3x12-13:09 she only taps Rachel tho

-3x13-15:43 Quinn is acting like the stereotypical ‘gentleman’ and its very Faberry canon esque, to put it the best can

-3x14-34:28 this scene I just can’t the way Quinn lights up when she see her and her voice softens a bit and what she said this is the gayest scene no-one can explain it it a hetero way just ahh

-3x15-10:28 they’re holding hands :DD

-3x19-31:48 

-3x22-23:12 those tickets cost so much money I swear they should have been way better friends after high school pft, 40:15 Quinn looks so proud of her girlfriend

Possible scenes, could be just drama-

-1x09-29:27 could be at Rachel

-2x10-12:40 kind of about being sad about Finn but could be jealousy?

-2x16- 34:47 could be about Faberry but is framed as finchel or fuinn

-2x17- 37:28 probably just finchel drama but still Faberry jealousy

-2x18-17:16 they say how they’re ‘fighting about Rachel again’ and Im putting it in idc about finchel :DD

-2x19- 23:19 more about Fuinn like always in this category but Faberry jealousy

-2x22-2:27, 3:29, 8:25 finchel/fuinn/faberry jealousy

Sitting really close when they’re meant to not like each other-

-1x15-34:18 

-1x19-32:33 

-1x20-19:16 in the scene Quinn kinda checks her out but then they stand really close so I put it here

-2x02 23:24 sits really close to Rachel when she dresses in her Britney Spears costume and in the scene Quinn looks like she’s purposefully trying not to look at her and at 29:20 Quinn chose to sit right behind Rachel again, 39:52 seen sitting right behind her again

-2x10- 35:03 standing really close when it would make a difference if Quinn stood anywhere else (e.g. next to her friends or boyfriend) I just think its weird lol

-2x15- 6:28 (before Quinn starts plotting against Rachel, they’re in celibacy club together but all they do is argue so its still a bit weird)

-3x07- 4:54

I dont know where to put this-

-2x17- 35:10 they kinda just look a bit nervous and small interaction I just wanted to add this because I thought it was cute the way they moved around each other idk

-2x20- 14:46 Rachel knows Quinns eyes so well she knows the flower and colour of the ribbon (also gardenias are for secret love which it would surprise me if Rachel already knew)

-3x04-20:26 Rachel isn’t sitting near her boyfriend or anyone she’s even really friends with its a bit weird that shed be sitting in the corner right next to Quinn away from the other chairs

Songs- Ive probably missed a bunch of these but I tried lmao-

-somebody to love

-halo

-ride with me

-no air

-keep holding on

-bust a move

-proud Mary

-crazy in love

-imagine- there is a gay ass look

-you can’t always get what you want

-dont rain on my parade

-my life would suck without you

-gives u hell

-hello goodbye

-like a prayer

-home(kind of)

-give up the funk

-any way you want it

-faithfully

-dont stop delieving 

-Empire State of mind

-ice ice baby

-toxic

-damn it Janet

-time warp

-sweet transvestite

-start me up/living on a prayer

-hot patootie

-forget you

-umbrella/singin in the rain

-I think I wanna marry you

-just the way you are

-ive had the time of my life

-Valerie

-the Dog days are over

-the most wonderful day of the year

-welcome Christmas

-heads will roll/thriller

-fat bottomed girls

-sing

-blame it on the alcohol

-tik tok

-do you wanna touch

-afternoon delight

-get it right

-loser like me

-pretty/unpretty

-born this way

-pure imagination

-New York New York

-Fix you

-last Friday night

-hit me with your best shot/one way or another

-I cant go for that/ you make my dreams

-I kissed a girl

-feed the world

-summer nights

-we found love

-gotta be starting something

-Im sexy and I know it

-stereo hearts (not technicaly but a lot of Faberry so I’m putting it in)

-fly/I believe I can fly

-heres to us

-its not right but its okay

-its all coming back to me now

-paradise by the dashboard light

-we are the champions

-tongue tied

-you get what you give

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Tsukikage no Shou - Kazama Final Chapter Translation

So. [im going to swear.]

I tried doing something truly fucking insane. I wrote and copied out almost every single stupid shitty word in Chinese from the CH subbed video for this (99% of everything of this was done w/o freaking copy and pasting since it was too fucking hard to locate every stupid duplicated word that i wrote) with my mouse onto google translate (I don't have any other way to input words cuz i don't have a damn input device) before i went and translated this. 

at the time i did this, writing out every stupid shitty word was a lot fucking faster than using an ocr text extractor at the time since i kept having problems with the one i was using... and my fucking gawd did this feel soooo freaking tedious and it really did hurt my hand and arm for a while.... to the point that i’ll still complain about it despite how that was done back around the time i did the tsukikage countdown video....

i fucking demand that everyone who reads this thank me for hurting myself for the sake of getting this stupid chapter translated lol... all in all, i wrote out over 4600 stupid fucking Chinese characters of this in one sitting....

oh and i think i might have forgotten about copying some of the punctuation but idfcrn.

some words/phrases i don’t wanna write in excess ever again: 1) 知道 2) 就 3) 然 4) 一族 5) 着 6) 这 7) 在 8) 我 9) 萨摩 10) 里

you guys better fucking enjoy this lol. or im going to flip a fucking table. or ten. hahaha lol. seriously (not really lol). 

on that note, i also found the Hakuoki stage play with Chinese subs but I refuse to do anything with it as long as those words aren't in text since that's more than 2 hours long, and i’m not that masochistic or insane xD. if anyone wants to volunteer as tribute though to copy/isolate the text though that’s another matter. 

also i had to go read up on more damn history than i'd have liked to in order to translate this damn thing cuz i couldn't understand several words in Chinese since they were Japanese terms which made doing this even annoying since that meant extra work for me to do... and omfg i hated writing this out despite the fact that doing so did save me a significant amount of time cuz I was still pretty bad at using photoshop when i did this...  though I can definitely say that this will be the absolute fucking first and last chapter of anything that i’ll ever write out again since i can say that my photoshop skills have improved enough so that i can extract text at a significantly faster pace and with more accuracy...

images used in this post were snips of the some video of the chapter aside from the last 2 which were from the cgs i posted a loooong while back.

if someone decides to repost this elsewhere, i will seriously stop posting my translations publicly (also i will curse you) :D

(p.s. i don’t have the chapter intro since that wasn’t translated for any of the final chapter tls that were posted online, and as always, edits will be done later)

Hakuoki Tsukikage no Shou - Kazama Chikage - Final Chapter

Translation by KumoriYami

Eighth year of Meiji 7th month

Six years later after what later generations would refer to the "Boshin War." Chikage-san took me away to live at his village within the Satsuma Domain. This is a story of what happened 5 years after I married into the Kazama family.

Eighth year of Meiji, 7th month

My eyes were unfocused.

I was quietly mending something——

Kazama Chizuru: That hurt......!

I accidentally hit my finger with the needle.

Kazama Chizuru:......Messed up again.

This type of housework, would usually be finished quickly.... But today my concentration, from the start until just now, wasn't here.

I know the reason why.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah......

I stopped/lowered my hand and softly sighed. Recently, Chikgae-san has been increasing his visits to human villages. 

It seems that Amagiri-san has also been frequently rushing around to collect information. The oni in this village saw this, and one after another, they began talking about 

——Soon, there will be no more war with humans.

The female oni were especially scared of war.

However I didn't think it wasn't improbable......

But there was no way to say that war wouldn't happen again.

It's hard to think that the world's become so peaceful.

When I was thinking about these things. (door slides)

There was the sound of a door opening.

I didn't need to confirm who this person was——

Kazama Chikage: I didn't see you, so this is where you were.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san......

The instant I saw him, I immdiately felt relieved...... I couldn't help but smile.

Kazama Chikage: What is it? Is there something funny?

Kazama Chizuru: No, That's......

Kazama Chizuru: I always think it's unimaginable in how I am able to recognize you by your breathing, Chikage-san.

Presumably my answer probably surprised him since Chikage-san's eyes widened......

Kazama Chikage: Of course I am also able to recognize you by your breathing, you and I are husband and wife.

If this had been before, I probably would have immediately denied Chikage-san's words.......

Kazama Chizuru:......That's right/Is that so.

There's no need to deny anything now.

Because Chikage-san and I have already had our marriage ceremony in the Kazama village to become husband and wife.

Kazama Chikage: What are you doing here?

Kazama Chizuru: Sewing clothes.

Kazama Chizuru: If the children's clothes aren't taken care of, they might get torn when caught on a branch or from falling down. 

Kazama Chikage: this sort of housework, you can just give it someone else to do.

Kazama Chizuru: But, I have happen to have time......

Kazama Chikage: Accompany me for a walk.

Chikage-san raise his chin, and spoke with an indisputable tone of voice.

Kazama Chizuru: Wait a moment, let me tie this knot......

Kazama Chikage: That thing can wait and be done later, come with me for a walk first.

Really......

Chikage-san's unyielding personality hasn't changed since [even before] we married.

Kazama Chizuru:......I understand, I'll come with you.

Anyway fighting is useless, so I followed him.

It was slightly hot when we reached the forest.

As small birds could clearly be heard chirping nearby, Chikage-san and I walked together.

Kazama Chizuru:......You seem to be so busy lately, have things calmed down yet?

I spoke to him in this way......

Kazama Chikage:............ [he sighs/breathes out  here]

Not hearing my words, Chikage-san showed a distressed expression, and was silent.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san....... Chikage-san.

After using a slightly heavier tone, he finally stopped.

Kazama Chikage:......What's wrong?

Kazama Chizuru: To ask me what's wrong......

Kazama Chizuru: Just now I called you several times just now and you didn't respond, it's very concerning

Kazama Chikage: So it's like that, I apologize.

Kazama Chizuru: No, I'm not upset......

Kazama Chizuru: What's bothering you?

Kazama Chizuru: If it's alright, you can talk about it with me.

Kazama Chikage:............ [he sighs/breathes again here... this one sounds more like a sigh imo]

Kazama Chizuru: If there's anything that's difficult to talk about, I won't force you to say anything.......

Kazama Chikage: No.......it's not something that cannot be said.

Kazama Chikage: As the leader's wife, I think you should know about this matter.

It felt like there was a different weight to the way he was saying "the leader's wife."

After moving to this village, Chikage-san has told me those words [in that manner] several times...... The subjects that followed afterwards, were matters that directly concerned the village.

As I nervously waited for his next words, Chikage-san spoke in a solemn and careful tone.

Kazama Chikage:......There are rumours, that the Satsuma shizoku has been engaging in suspicious activities. [check audio]

Kazama Chizuru: Shizoku......?

After entering the Meiji era, former samurai are now referred to as "shizoku"...... No longer able to receive an official's salary, I've heard that they have had difficulties in securing their livelihoods.

Kazama Chikage: After last year's "conscription notice," it is said that official talks to forbid carrying of blades were given with the "conscription notice."

Kazama Chizuru: Forbidding the carrying of blades? That is to say......

Before I asked my question, Chikage-san nodded.

Kazama Chikage: Banning the wearing of katana

Kazama Chikage: [Meaning] Depriving warriors of the rights associated with them.

Kazama Chizuru: Doing that sort of thing...... aren't the Satsuma shizoku unlikely to accept that?

The Satsuma shizoku were [perhaps: had been] proud to be part of the Meiji Restoration, and before I heard that it was their greatest pride. They had overthrown the Shogunate with great difficulty, but they [however it seems that they] haven't received a decent reward [pay-off is prob more accurate]......

If they are deprived of their privileges that they had and are again forced into having difficult lives, it is obvious that there will be resentment.

Kazama Chikage:......Last year, reportedly Saigo's defeat at the central government and his return to the Satsuma, appeared to be the cause of riots breeaking out in human villages. [refers to Seikanron]

Chikage-san's words caused me to let out a cold breath.

I've heard that Saigo is the Satsuma's most powerful individual.

If indignant warriors gather assemble together under his banner——

Kazama Chizuru: Then, where are you going [probably planning?]?

Kazama Chikage: Come on...... let's walk for a while.

Speaking like that, Chikage-san urged me......

No mater what, I wanted to confirm this matter.

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san......

Kazama Chikage:......Nn?

Kazama Chizuru: Will Chikage-san have no choice, but to once again move for the Satsuma?

Kazama Chizuru: Just like when the Shogunate was destroyed......

Because there is a sense of righteousness and companionship with the Satsuma [i'd assume this is more sense of gratitude and debt based on Kyoto Winds/Edo Blossoms], there's nothing to be done on the matter......

If that’s the case, I don't want Chikage-san to once again be dragged into humanity's wars.

He is my beloved husband—— we have many precious things to protect now.

Kazama Chikage:......Do not worry, our Kazama family/clan has promised to help the Shimazu clan.

Kazama Chikage: There is no involvement in the Satsuma right now. I have no plans to be involved in wars between humans.

Kazama Chizuru: Really?

Kazama Chikage: Have I [ever] lied to you?

Kazama Chizuru:.......No

Kazama Chizuru: Chikage-san, thank you. Hearing what you said just now, I can be at ease.

Even so I felt that nothing was stronger than the promise he made just now.

Chikage-san will certainly use all of his strength to protect us.

Kazama Chikage:......Perhaps, in the near future, war may occur in the Satsuma. [the Satsuma may go to war is likely more accurate given the Satsuma Rebellion]

Kazama Chikage: In order to prepare for such a situation, [we] must consider temporarily moving into hiding elsewhere.

Kazama Chizuru:......Yes

The oni of the Kazama village...... everything must be done to protect them. In the past my clan——the disaster that befell the Yukimura clan's oni must not be repeated.

(scene changes to ocean) ~3100 words by now

Afterwards, Chikage-san and I arrived at place....... a place outside the village and near the beach.

The deep blue sea could clearly be seen in the distant horizon, as well as the rolling waves. It's was a symbol and scene of peace and stability.

............However.

Kazama Chizuru:......Is war really going to erupt again?

It seemed as if war would break this sea of tranquility.

Kazama Chikage: I am afraid that it will.

Kazama Chikage: But do not worry. I will certainly protect you all

Kazama Chizuru:......Nn, I believe you.

Our conversation drew to a close once more, but it didn't feel out of sorts.

The sound of the tide carried away all of my worries.

In this way, looking out towards the majestic sea......

Kazama Chizuru:......This reminds me of when the two of us disembarked back then.

Chikage-san was quiet as he turned towards me.

His pair of red eyes looked at me, almost as if to ask for the truth of what I meant just now.

Kazama Chikage: The people [or officials?] from the Satsuma fled, similarly to how the warriors of Aizu did.

Kazama Chikage: It wasn't only the Aizu. The former Shogunate who fought the Sat-cho probably also hated the Satsuma and wanted to go to war with them.

Kazama Chikage: They were pardoned, no longer are they an enemy seeking revenge......

Kazama Chikage: For what reason would they need to repeat a disastrous policy/the same mistake......

Kazama Chizuru:......Yes. I also......don't understand

Kazama Chizru:......However it's already...... fighting between humans, oni must not participate again.

Kazama Chizuru: That's what I think, ever since I chose to live here as an oni.

Kazama Chizuru:.....Yes. Even though——

Kazama Chizuru: Even if  there's a new battle, the surviving members of the Shinsengumi might take part in it, as will others who are the same——

Among them, I heard that some of them had been pardoned.

That possibility of that is entirely possible.

But——

I've truly observed the conclusion to the Shinsengumi's existence.

They cannot be involved, they can no longer live while fighting against the trajectory [of history? alt:against the flow/tide]/ They can't——it's not possible for them to get involved again, and they can no longer survive against the tide.

Right, though it's difficult to say that/sorry/sad to admit to that.

Kazama Chikage: In front of me, you don't need to be strong [put up a brave front]

Kazama Chizuru:......It's alright. I'm not trying to be strong.

Kazama Chizuru: It's true that I have nothing to do with the Shinsengumi anymore——

Kazama Chizuru: Because of that, there have been things [that I have] obtained.

Kazama Chikage: Oh? Such as?

Kazama Chizuru: Yes......

Options

(Choosing to live together with you)<--- (Understanding how samurai/warriors chose to live)

Kazama Chizuru: Your...... being at Chikage-san's side, it was my choice.

Kazama Chikage: Usually you're only complaining, today you're being quite frank.

Kazama Chizuru: Com-complaining......! I didn't say [anything like] that.

Kazama Chizuru: You and the children never listen and don't even know it......!

I tried to argue——

Kazama Chikage: No need to speak. Come. He took me by my arms then held me tightly.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah......!

There wasn't enough time to respond since I was confused, and he grabbed my chin [face/cheek looks to be more accurate] with his fingers.

(Kazama's kiss with Chizuru cg 1)

Kazama Chizuru: Nn......

It was like saying that everything I was belonged to him, as he gave me a fierce kiss.

I also used my lips to respond to his warmth.

Kazama Chikage:......You don't need to be worried.

Kazama Chikage: Even if the Satsuma ['s lands/domain] becomes a battlefield......

Kazama Chikage: I will do everything to protect you, the children, as well as the village's oni.

Although he spoke in a natural tone......

He however was shouldering the fates of me and the children, and of the entire clan.

[To be the one] dealing with this huge amount of pressure, I couldn't imagine it.

Kazama Chizuru:......I will support you. 

While living as a human, then recalling the everyone from the Shinsengumi, I feel sad, although there are times [Although there are times I feel sad when I think of when I lived as a human, and recall everyone from the Shinsengumi......]

But I, have chosen to to support him on this path.

Kazama Chizuru: As a wife...... as an oni, I will do everything to support you......

So, as long as I'm alive, I will always support him.

Kazama Chizuru: Ah. Please stay at my side. You absolutely will not regret it.

(kiss cg 1 again) ——He never broke his promise.

Chikage-san will stay with never go against this agreement, and will stay with me for a lifetime.

So I shall make a promise to him here.

Kazama Chizuru: I will forever be at your side......

——This is the promise of an oni.

——Tsukikage no Shou Kazama Final Chapter End—— 

maybe i’ll go translate yamazaki’s final tsukikage no shou chapter... in like 2 years. or something. if someone hasn’t done it by then. lol. unfortunately, tsukikage is not on my priority list since 95% of what CH TL I’ve seen is only available as videos... and while I’d very much prefer to translate Saito’s ginse no shou route, the only thing that I’ve found with CH TL so far is a short clip from the 2nd common route chapter.... plus, i still have ssl to worry about... and even then, there are some dramas that i really wanted translated along with the rest of kyoka-roku... 

final edits will be done when i start caring about them... later.

also this is chapter 8 for kazama’s route. each route in tsukikage and ginsei no shou has their own unique ending music.

p.s.s. i always love to complain about unnecessary extra free labour.

[thesimpanions]

⭐️ N E W V I D E O ⭐️ The Sims 4 | CC SHOPPING VIDEO - HOW I FIND MY CUSTOM CONTENT + LINKS

Hey there! So this beast of a video took foreeeeever to edit but I'm so happy to finally share it with you guys! Today I'm taking you along on a cc shopping spree and share all of my tips and tricks on how to find the best maxis match cc out there! In the end we'll have a look at everything in CAS. Same as in my CC Showcase videos I added numbers for each cc item to make things easier for you! ♥

 ▶️https://youtu.be/wW7lmgAck1k

CC LINKS

SKIN DETAILS 1. PEARL SKINBLEND: https://kumikya.tumblr.com/post/190151536721/pearl-non-default-skinblend-hi-this-was-super 2. ALMOND FACE OVERLAY: https://www.patreon.com/posts/33812351 3. IMPULSE SKINBLEND: https://sunlitcrys.tumblr.com/post/190572765196/a-lip-gloss-skinblend-bundle-impulse-skinblend 4. JADED SKINBLEND: https://sunlitcrys.tumblr.com/post/190634371586/jaded-skinblend-another-lil-treat-for-you-all-two 5. ERIKA SKIN: https://www.patreon.com/posts/30610541 6. NAOMI FRECKLES: https://softerhaze.tumblr.com/post/190145403527/naomi-freckles-made-for-guys-and-gals-with-skin 7. CRAZY CUCKOO CONTOUR: https://hookareh.tumblr.com/post/190164060223/crazy-cuckoo-contour-palette-sculpt-that-mug-for

HAIRS 1. HOPPIE HAIRSTYLE: https://www.patreon.com/posts/33821872 2. NEEDS HAIRSTYLE: https://www.patreon.com/posts/33227512 3. KANG HAIR: https://simandy.tumblr.com/post/187289509186/3rd-place-look-at-my-handsome-boi-love-him-now 4. MAISIE HAIR: https://maxismatchccworld.tumblr.com/post/190584301555/liliili-sims-maisie-hair-ea-color-18 5. DREAD PANDA: https://yooniesim.tumblr.com/post/190833806124/dread-panda-hair-adorable-half-shaved-dread 6. MAISIE HAIR RECOLOR: https://maxismatchccworld.tumblr.com/post/190584301555/liliili-sims-maisie-hair-ea-color-18 7. MORANA HAIR: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190825471290/joliebean-slavic-allure-a-custom-content-pack 8. SYBIL HAIR: https://softerhaze.tumblr.com/post/190876572362/sybil-more-curly-bangs-for-gals-who-like-to-read 9. WICKED WITCH HAIR: https://lightdeficient.tumblr.com/post/187738377616/wicked-witch-hair-this-is-my-second-hair-but-i 10. JUICE HAIR: https://singingpicklessims.tumblr.com/post/190825913290/juice-guys-im-actually-really-proud-of-this-hair 11. SAILOR SPACE BUNS: https://simmister.tumblr.com/post/189152160890/sailor-space-buns-hair-recolored-standalone-with 12. TAMAR TWIST: https://savvysweet.tumblr.com/post/190711659253/tamar-twist-this-hair-is-compatible-with 13. LUDA HAIR V2: https://syaovu.tumblr.com/day/2020/01/27/ 14. FLYAWAY HAIR: https://softpine.tumblr.com/post/190683071589/%F0%9D%90%9F%F0%9D%90%A5%F0%9D%90%B2%F0%9D%90%9A%F0%9D%90%B0%F0%9D%90%9A%F0%9D%90%B2-%F0%9D%90%A1%F0%9D%90%9A%F0%9D%90%A2%F0%9D%90%AB-yes-its-the-tiny-living-braid 15. FLORA HAIR: https://okruee.tumblr.com/post/190795989406/flora-hair-these-bangs-took-me-so-long-to-make-i 16. HELENA HAIR: https://okruee.tumblr.com/post/182346046282/helena-hair-should-be-bgc-hat-compatible 17. LYD HAIR: https://simmister.tumblr.com/post/189908395985/lyd-hair-maxified-recolored-standalone-with 18. KAYA HAIR: https://marsosims.tumblr.com/post/190179513146/kaya-hair-hey-i-lost-all-of-wips-so-i-didnt 19. ARAW HAIR: https://marsosims.tumblr.com/post/190549441246/araw-hair-contrary-to-popular-opinion-i-really 20. GABI HAIR: https://marsosims.tumblr.com/post/190326383492/gabi-hair-this-has-been-in-my-wip-folder-for 21. MANIKA HAIR: https://marsosims.tumblr.com/post/190716285256/manika-hair-this-hair-came-second-in-the-wip-poll 22. HITA HAIR: https://marsosims.tumblr.com/post/190596801196/hita-hair-we-needed-more-witchy-or-hippy-hairs

PRESETS 1. BOBA EYES: https://www.patreon.com/posts/27609454 2. P4D EYES: https://po4-deb.tumblr.com/post/186303700583/500-followers-gift 3. SQUEAMISHSIMS NOSE 3: https://squeamishsims.tumblr.com/post/190629664347/nose-preset-3-by-squeamishsims-so-i-saw-kiwibli 4. P4D NOSE: https://po4-deb.tumblr.com/post/186303700583/500-followers-gift 5. P4D LIP PRESET #1: https://po4-deb.tumblr.com/post/186303700583/500-followers-gift 6. P4D LIP PRESET #2: https://po4-deb.tumblr.com/post/186303700583/500-followers-gift 7. SQUEAMISH SIMS LIPS 2-4: https://squeamishsims.tumblr.com/post/186891910497/lip-preset-pack-by-squeamishsims-i-got-a-bunch-of

JEWELRY: 1. MMSIMS 3D EYELASH V3: https://www.patreon.com/posts/mmsims-3d-v3-27550505 2. HOOPS & LEAVES EARRINGS V1: https://www.thesimsresource.com/members/Nords/downloads/details/category/sims4-accessories-female-earrings/title/hoops-amp%3B-leaves-earrings-v1/id/1476177/ 3.  LYRA COLLECTION EARRINGS: https://ilkup.tumblr.com/post/188663924976/lyra-collection-simblreen-2019-gift-3-12-swatches 4. WHISPER TEMP EARRINGS: https://houseofabsurdities.tumblr.com/post/190605590004/feeling-kinda-tired-considering-i-have-mock-exams 5. CANDY HEARTS EARRINGS: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 6. BED TS4 SQUARE GLASSES WITH CHAIN: https://bedisfull.tumblr.com/post/173626130450/bedts4-m-square-glasses-sets-meshtexture-by 7. BED TS4 SQUARE GLASSES WITHOUT CHAIN: https://bedisfull.tumblr.com/post/173626130450/bedts4-m-square-glasses-sets-meshtexture-by 8. SCENT OF SPRING BANDAGE: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 9. LYRA COLLECTION NECKLACE: https://ilkup.tumblr.com/post/188663924976/lyra-collection-simblreen-2019-gift-3-12-swatches

MAKE UP 1. LOVE DRUNK EYESHADOW: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 2. LOVE DRUNK EYESHADOW: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 3. LOTUS EYESHADOW: https://www.patreon.com/posts/lotus-collection-33657933 4. HEART SHAPED WING EYELINER: https://caelhinn.tumblr.com/post/190809835077/heart-shaped-wing-an-eyeliner-by-caelhinn 5. LOTUS EYELINER: https://www.patreon.com/posts/lotus-collection-33657933 6. LOVE DRUNK BLUSHER: LOVE DRUNK EYESHADOW: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 7. LOVE DRUNK BLUSHER: LOVE DRUNK EYESHADOW: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 8. GENERATION G LIPSTICK: https://amygdelights.tumblr.com/post/178575045526/this-is-my-first-cc-so-hear-me-out-glossier-has 9. IMPULSE LIPGLOSS: https://sunlitcrys.tumblr.com/post/190572765196/a-lip-gloss-skinblend-bundle-impulse-skinblend 10. XOXO LIPSTICK: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 11. SWEETHEARTS FACEPAINT: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 12. DARLING BANDAGES: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish

TATTOOS: 1. DARLING BANDAGES: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 2.  HOLIDAY SIMLISH TATTOOS: https://peachiiesims.tumblr.com/post/189962785778/holiday-simlish-tattoos-happy-new-year-as-my-last 3. SWEETHEARTS FACEPAINT: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish

TOPS: 1. JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU BODYSUIT: https://helgatisha.tumblr.com/post/190583807221/helgatisha-just-want-to-hold-you-bodysuit 2. ELISE BODYSUIT: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190344642990/rushed-lovers-cc-pack-bgc-all-lods-shadow-maps 3. WONDERWALL TEE: https://www.patreon.com/posts/31369303 4. TERESA BLOUSE: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190344642990/rushed-lovers-cc-pack-bgc-all-lods-shadow-maps 5. LANA TOP: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190825114455/slavic-allure-a-cc-pack-by-joliebean-x 6. MOONWALK PAJAMA SHIRT: https://trillyke.tumblr.com/post/188976313228/moonwalk-pajama-shirt-cute-pajama-top-with 7. CORTADO SWEATER: https://www.patreon.com/posts/cortado-sweater-34113361 8. (K)NEAT SWEATER: https://captainmrbored.tumblr.com/post/190550977111/kneat-sweater-i-always-wanted-to-recreate-unif 9. SO WHAT? JACKET: https://dear-solar.tumblr.com/post/190686288550/so-what-jacket-this-jacket-is-inspired-by-the 10.  TAON JACKET: https://www.patreon.com/posts/taon-jacket-33053827

BOTTOMS: 1. SEEKER JEANS: https://goodlysims.tumblr.com/post/186449923002/seeker-skinny-jeans-sul-sul-im-very-excited-to 2. JUST SHORTS: https://pixelunivairse.tumblr.com/post/190603475073/one-of-many-other-cc-that-i-created-and-i-was 3. PAPERCUT SHORTS: https://honey-moth.tumblr.com/post/190505576686/papercut-another-set-layered-tee-located-in 4. SELF LOVE UNDIES: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 5. AVA TROUSERS V1: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190344642990/rushed-lovers-cc-pack-bgc-all-lods-shadow-maps 6. FREYA SHORTS: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190344642990/rushed-lovers-cc-pack-bgc-all-lods-shadow-maps 7. AVA TROUSERS V2: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190344642990/rushed-lovers-cc-pack-bgc-all-lods-shadow-maps 8. MOONCHILD FLARED PANTS: https://www.patreon.com/posts/31369303 9. JELLY BEAN SKIRT: https://sokea-cc.tumblr.com/post/190897099929/jelly-bean-a-remake-this-is-a-remake-of-my-old 10. ALINA SKIRT: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190825114455/slavic-allure-a-cc-pack-by-joliebean-x 11. GO BABY PANTS: https://trillyke.tumblr.com/post/190880159338/go-baby-pants-tumblr-exclusive-something-always

FULL BODY: 1. SATIN DRESS: https://www.patreon.com/posts/33526492 2. ALMOST 1K DRESS: https://sulsulhun.tumblr.com/post/190587503287/sulsulhuns-almost-1k-followers-gift-hiya-so 3. FLEUR DRESS: https://kumikya.tumblr.com/post/190802068481/fleur-dress-happy-early-valentines-heres-my 4. YULIA DRESS: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190825114455/slavic-allure-a-cc-pack-by-joliebean-x 5. SUGARSUGAR BIBS: https://simbience.tumblr.com/post/190820633265/just-a-lil-something-from-the-lovely-faaeish 6. AGAPE SUNDRESS: https://www.patreon.com/posts/34066317 7. IPANEMA DRESS: https://www.patreon.com/posts/ipanema-dress-33954033

ACCESSORIES: 1. YULIA DRESS ACCESSORY: https://clumsyalienn.tumblr.com/post/190825114455/slavic-allure-a-cc-pack-by-joliebean-x 2. SO WHAT? JACKET TURTLENECK: https://dear-solar.tumblr.com/post/190686288550/so-what-jacket-this-jacket-is-inspired-by-the 3. LABYRINTH SOCKS: https://www.thesimsresource.com/members/Trillyke/downloads/details/category/sims4-clothing-female-teenadultelder-everyday/title/trillyke--labyrinth-socks/id/1477630/

[autisticoolatta]

Brooo!!! Tell me more about character design!!!

TYSM FO. R SENDIGN THIS BUBBY <3

ok so. i will tlak ab my science team bcs hyperfixation <3 they range from human passing to so very nonhuman but none of them are really human ! this is going under a cut because it is so very long

darnold is most human , he looks p mcuh normal but he consumes things that should absolutely kill him VXBSB.. hes around 5′7 , i draw him w a square-ish shape language bcs hes intelligent and relatively sensible but round corners cause hes v kind !! i hc he enjoys old-timey fashion so i give him a bowtie & suspenders under his labcoat ! he also gets dimples bc cute. 

gordon is p human at first glance but if u look closer he has slightly pointed ears and his canines are a little longer than average. he also has retractable claws like a cat , benreys like wtf didnt you say it was weird that i had claws ? and hes like nah its weird you cant retract them. also its barely noticeable but gordons hair moves veery slightly when hes emotional becayse heehoo. hes around 5′9 and has a relatively wide rectangle silhouette bcs hes hard-working and trustworthy ! post-game he mostly wears comfortable casual clothes like sweaters and knee-lenght shorts. dresses like a dad :^)

coomer mostly looks like a regular friendly old guy , but he has a buncha cybernetics hidden under his clothing bcs of course he does ! the extendo-arms are visibly metallic but his leg enhancements are mostly internal. hes 5′4 and has a v much circular silhouette ! friend-shaped !! he wears kind grandpa clothes.. shorts , hawaiian shirts , vests etc ! and yes he wears crocs <3

forzen is also pretty human-passing in terms of appearence , though he Can and occasionally Does subtly shapeshift.. and she also consumes things that would be so deadly to humans. like motor oil and rocks :) hes seemingly immune to bullets and has fangs but only sometimes. shes 6ft tall and her shape is p much square ! he wears an outfit v similar to his military uniform bc everyone was like dude get some new clothes wtf. so she was like FINE *buys near-identical red beret , fishing vest , huge backpack , camo pants and boots*

tommy.... WAY too tall 2 be human. hes 7′8. taller than gman. his silhouette is very tall thin oval :) round edges again bcs hes kind ! hes lanky but a lot physically stronger than he looks. he also consumes inedible things like computer keyboards. he has fangs , his eyes glow in the dark and he can use sweetvoice to a basic extent ! he also wears suspenders and bowties along w comfy baggy clothes like sweaters & chunky sneakers or crocs ! he also wears a lot of chew jewellery and he loves patterned socks :) he also uses a cane because being SO fucking tall isnt v easy on yr joints ! he uses crutches on worse days.

bubby is. also very tall but nowhere near tommy. hes 6′5 ! he has noticeably very pale skin & neat rows of pointy teeth (altho some are probably chipped). they also have almost-clawed fingers , v pointy shape language with a tall thin rectangular kinda silhouette. theyr not v physically strong most of the time so theyre pretty scrawny. his strength works on cartoon logic tho so he can be strong sometimes if it makes the situation funnier hebfhebr.. in-game he wears p much exactly the scientist uniform w no added stuff , but post-game hes like oh shit ! i casn do what i want now !! and goes out and buys a shitload of leather jackets and chunky shoes and gets so many piercings. awesome. the piercings & studs on their clothes also add pointiness to his design :^) oh and ! they use crutches because spending most of your life suspended in goo isnt very good for your muscles .

gman ! 7′5 so also inhumanly tall. he has pale greyish skin and is pretty clearly not human , he also has fangs & his eyes glow perpetually he Cannot Turn That Off. he doesnt necessarily eat inedible stuff but he has uncharacteristic reactions to foods , like alcohol doesny affect him at all but he drinks a pint of sparkling water and wakes up in a hollowed out tree stump in the woods at 4am 2 miles from his house. he can also teleport , make himself invisible for a limited time , levitate , and shapeshift ! he has a tall thin rectangular silhouette similar to bubby , but a little wider bcs hes more imposing & strong. when hes not in one of his 50 identical suits , he wears dad clothes also; hawaiian shirts & shorts and of course... socks & sandals.

finally benrey ! he4s so small. simply small as fuck. hes generally around 4′4 , but he doesnt really have a consistent height bcs hes constantly shapeshifting because he can. they also shift their weight occasionally and their hairstyle is never consistent at all. they have pale greyish skin , the face shadow ofc is permanent as are their eyebags , and he also just . doesnt have a nose. he can smell he just doesnt have one. probably has no ears either. he has a round silhouette but sharp uneven teeth & generally p messy hair , cause hes unassuming and laid back but Can fuck u up if he wants to. which generally they dont bcs they dont actually like being in physical conflict much at all. they use a wheelchair post-canon bcs dying does that to u <3 he doesnt mind tho , he and tommy deck it the fuck OUT w stickers. he wears casual clothes like hoodies and sweatpants ,  and has a seemingly endless hat collection... chullos , helmets , ball caps , beanies , you name it ! i usually draw them with a specific hat based on the situation , like im doing an animatic of the callmecarson spelling bee and benrey has a ball cap that says “im a keeper” with a pic of a bee on it. awesome

OK THATS LIKE ALL I HAVE tysm for letting me infodump BSKJKD... if u read all of this im proud of u <3

[valkavavaart]

hi im bored so im doing an oc thing

i decided i wannan do this w multiple soooo im going wwww ophelia, alice, and beatrice thats all bye

1. how easy is it to make them angry? do they show their anger or hide it?

ophelia - it's kinda easy to get under her skin, and she holds a grudge so if u piss her off then she won't forget it. but also she doesn't really ACT on grudges, she'll just be a little rude next time u talk to her. she doesnt really show much emotion but does kind of having a permanent :| or >:| on her face, so she'll look annoyed even if she isn't...

beatrice - generally just being rude or annoying will make her mad, but she gets over things within seconds and doesn't take people all that seriously to begin with, so it's not like pissing her off will do much. she'll be like pouty and tell u to knock it off, but she also doesnt rlly care

alice - it's difficult to make alice mad. like you have to be SO annoying or hurt him in such a drastic way for him to get pissed. usually when hes mad hes still all smiley and happy tho so he'd kinda just be >:)

2. do they believe in soulmates

ophelia - she believes in them in the sense that one person may have multiple people that can come into their lives and be considered a soulmate bc nothing is permanent and blah blah blah she doesnt rlly care tho

beatrice - she doesn't believe in soulmates but enjoys soulmate au fanfiction

alice - he definitely believes in soulmates and fate drawing people together, but is conistantly disappointed when he finds out people he like arent destined to stay with him

3. do they have any pet peeves?

ophelia - people with no concept of personal space (unless theyre like merrick or one of her close friends)

beatrice - ppl who eat w their mouth open

alice - the sound of violins

4. do they have a happy place? somewhere they go in their heads when they need to relax?

ophelia - oph just goes to the library man

beatrice - she doesnt need one bc shes always vibing

alice - when the man needs to relax hes either drunk as hell or hanging out with as many friends as he can get together, spending time alone with his thoughts is literally a nightmare for alice

5. at what stage of their life were they the happiest?

ophelia - the current stage of her life

beatrice - there hasnt been a stage where beatrice hasnt had fun :) she doesnt have anything to worry about!

alice - the current stage of his life

6. at what stage of their life were they the least happy

ophelia - the ages of 12-17

alice - any time he gets to the point in a relationship where he breaks up w someone and then he goes into "my life sucks wahhhh" mode for a few months

7. at a bar are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink?

ophelia & beatrice - have someone else buy them a drink

alice - buy someone a drink

8. have they ever broken any bones? if yes, how?

ophelia - when her powers manifested at the age of 12, oph lost the ability to feel physical pain which lead to her straining herself more. she'd get into accidents or push herself too hard because she couldn't feel that it hurt and wold get injured through that (and she still does, but she has more knowledge of her limits now) so i guess she wouldve broken some bones through stuff thanks to that.

beatrice - never ever broken a bone!! she drinks a lot of milk to keep her bones STURDY :)

alice - has broken like his arm or fingers or just anything in that area due to a fight or something. he'll probably have broken a leg at some point too. again, probably in a fight. or maybe he fell out a tree. who knows.

9. do they have any memories/experiences they'd rather forget?

ophelia - she generally wants to brush most of her teen years away and forget things relating to her family, but also cant bring herself to hate them despite how garbage they are, so,

beatrice - there are probably a few conversations she's had with alice and percy that she's like to never remember ever again

alice - he cherishes all his memories, good or bad! he always thinks that he can learn from his mistakes and hardships! even though all he does is repeat the exact same things over and over and o

10. what is their favourite memory from their childhood?

ophelia - although her parents have always been cold to her, they used to go camping when she was about 9-10ish, and she always enjoyed spending time with her siblings around then.

beatrice - in the method she had been created she technically never was a child um. but in her early life, she enjoyed hanging out with levi! :D

alice - haha

11. do they have a "type" that they are usually attracted to?

ophelia - no

beatrice - bea will generally befriend anyone if theyre cute or theyre like her guy friends. as for a partner, she wants someone thats at LEAST a head taller than her normal form (her regular form is 5'5"), they need to be someone that likes hugs, someone who would coddle her, someone who would cosplay with/for her, someone who would buy her things..

alice - his "type" is just "someone interesting", but he thinks all people are interesting in their own right- you have to be SUUUUUUPER boring for him to not be into you in some way.

12. do they have any favourite possessions?

ophelia - ALL her alien plushies (most of which were gifts from merrick)

beatrice - everything inside her wardrobe

alice - cleaver

13. do they have any tattoos? if no, would they ever consider getting one?

ophelia - she doesn't have any, and doesn't really want one, but she's seen some real cool space ones, and--

beatrice - tattoos vanish when she changes her form unless she focuses REALLY hard on keeping it there, so she's given up on trying to get one to be permanent.

alice - he doesn't have any, but thinks that getting a sleeve would be cool. he doesn't have any idea for what he wants, though, so he hasn't bothered getting one. he also gets worried that if he gets one of his current aesthetic, he'll get bored of it and have to do something drastic to remove it.

14. do they have any piercings? if no, would they ever consider getting any?

ophelia - has her ears pierced

beatrice - doesn't want piercings, wears clip-on earrings

alice - wants a tongue piercing r belly-button piercing maybe.. and ear piercing might also be cool...

15. what is their dream house like?

ophelia - she'd like to live in a small town on the coast or something.. she doesn't really mind living in a small house since it'd just be her and merrick. but also if she had a house with an observatory, she'd love that a LOT. generally just wants somewhere nice and laid back.

beatrice - due to her void realm taking the form of whatever she wants, she has her dream home! it's literally just an apartment with a few rooms, but it has enough space for all the stuff she wants.

alice - he's in a similar position to Beatrice in that he already has his own dream place bc teehee void realm. He's a little more selfish in that he gave himself a big house with lots of space and rooms for him to fill with stuff- but also he wanted somewhere big so that all his friends could stay with him :)

16. what is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them?

ophelia - UHHH just how lazy she is, probably.. woman barely tolerates having to jog somewhere please let her sit down

beatrice - idk probably the fact she befriends murder boys like alice

alice - all the music he listens to is like crazy frog and caramelldansen

17. how good are they at choosing gifts for others?

ophelia - she'll either just outright ask you what you want, or she'll give you money or a gift card, she doesn't like having to guess for people

beatrice - she literally picks gifts for other people based on what SHE likes.. like she'll get u something cause she tinks it's cute it doesn't matter if u've ever mentioned it before

alice - if ur his friend then he will have a list of all ur interests in the back of his brain at all times and does a pretty good job picking out gifts thanks to that

18. do they have a certain skill that they're particularly proud of?

ophelia - she's very good at researching things and digging up information that a lot of people can't find so she thinks that's kind of epic for her

beatrice - she's good at dancing, video games, and memorizing things. she will show off these skills as much as she can.

alice - umm... eyeball removal...?

19. how would a stranger they just met describe them?

ophelia - UHHHH... she's just polite to strangers so i think she'd be described as just that?? she doesnt really leave lasting impressions on people

beatrice - cute, bubbly, maybe super annoying

alice - friendly? :D

20. how would a close friend they've known for a long time describe them?

ophelia - kinda stupid but really cute

beatrice - just a lil ray of sunshine :)

alice - if you're asking like.. kai or beatrice then it's "he's cute and fun and pretty and nice to hang out with!!" but if youre asking like percy or nero then its "hes creepy and gross and im gonna beat his ass"

[stateofirrelevancy]

CALM First Listen Impressions

I’ve been doing these since SGFG and imma keep doing it till the day i die!!

Red Desert - OOF harmonies okay I see you !! Intro is hella soulful don’t tell me I’m about to cry ALREADY guys… okay that bass in the bg is thicccc and I’m living for it OOF AND THEN THE CHORUS HITS AND THOSE DRUMS BITCH THIS SONG IS SO GOOD ON JUST THE FIRST LISTEN Y’ALL AHHHHH and then that TRANSITION from chorus to second verse my mans ashton did not disappoint !! Guys I’m really feeling this song holy shit it’s so good. Bitch this RED in the bridge is rly TEASING ME like bitch KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!!! Low key this song sounds like it’s 90% saying “red desert” over and over but I’m not complaining issa bop and a half !!! AHHH THAT ENDING AND THEY REALLY WENT TO A LOWER NOTE THAT WAS SO GOOD if that ain’t my fave song on the album i’ll be hella shook. Rating: 10/10 obviously

No Shame - I’ve liked this song since the very first time I heard it it’s actually such a bop. I can’t wait to drive around with this song blasting in my car. I LOVE when Luke says “Go on and plaAaAaAce me” it’s so pretty!!! Rating: 9/10 I just wish the bridge had something different I’m not a big fan of sos ALWAYS doing slowed down choruses for bridges and once you notice it it’s hard to stop lol

Old Me - I wasn’t a huge fan of this song the first time I heard it and genuinely didn’t think it’d grow on me AT ALL, but even after the second listen I really liked it, and I’ve really come to appreciate, like, the fan service message behind it? And that music video just made me love it more. The thing I didn’t like initially and still am not a huge fan of is how autotune-y the song sounds. I know everyone uses autotune, but imo it’s way too noticeable in the song to the point where it sounds a little unpleasant once you catch it. Rating: 8/10

Easier - Okay to be honest, I hate this song LMAO like one time I was crying in the shower while I was listening to my music on shuffle and this song came on and I literally stopped crying to change the song and then went back to crying daskjfkaljl Honestly the verses are really catchy and I like the prechorus but god I DETEST the chorus so fucking much it’s so fucking annoying and that’s low key like most of the song,,, I don’t even wanna finish the song but imma force myself to lmaooooo Rating: 3/10

Teeth - I love the bass at the beginning I’m such a slut for thicccc basses. I also like how crisp? Luke’s voice sound initially idk if that’s like a weird thing to say lol. I also hate the chorus here but not as much as Easier and the other parts of the song def make up for it. Rating: 6.5/10

Wildflower - This song was also like Old Me to me where I didn’t really love it at first but really liked it the second time. It’s definitely not gonna be a favorite of the album or a song I’m probs gonna remember forever but I bet it’s gonna be a BOP at concerts which is always appreciated. PLUS I love that Calum is singing he has a very unique voice I think. Also side note I justopened the livestream and it’s a hot mess lmaooo Ash rly fucking fucked up and needed to move it onto Cal lmaoo here I thought I was in sync with everyone smh. Rating: 7.5/10 with room to grow with more listens i’m assuming

Best Years - Anyways moving on from the livestream mess from these kids who don’t know technology,,, oof first impressions: sounds like same vibes as ghost of you?? I love the line “I’ll build a house out of the mess” or whatever. The part where he sings “best yeeaaarrs” is uhhh kinda weird? I thought that when Luke sang this on live but I thought it might sound better on the track but lmao nah I still think it sounds awkward tbh. But the verses are cute. Oof that instrumental was so long I legit stopped paying attention dafkdasjlk OOF OOF OOF THAT PART WHEN THE INSTRUMENTS KICKED IN okay I live for that. Song is kinda short so it gives me vibes of Lie To Me + Ghost Of You in terms of vibe (not lyrics). Rating: 6/10

Side note: I open the stream and they’re?? Just talking abt the album???? What happened to group listen lmaoo okay I guess gotta do everything in isolation around here smh

Not in the Same Way - woah okay start right away I guess !! “You say go I won’t leave” oof I don’t like that lyric cause a bitch has dealt with it and it’s terrible!! Omg when they said “NOT IN THE SAME WAY” in unison I legit live for the boys singing in unison okay OMG WE FUCK WE FIGHT AFDKAKLDJKL he really just gets more blatant every album w these swears huh fdskjkl OOF THAT DRUM BUILD UP SOUNDED SO GOOD Okay this is def a song to bop to live I can’t wait !! “I’m sick of sadness you’re sick of sadness” oof these lyrics bitch…. okay this song is kinda repetitive which is making me kinda tired BUT it’s not the worst thing and I like the parts that they’re repeating i guess LOL oh WOAH that “eh eh ehh” part is kinda interesting OMG IS THAT AN ORIGINAL BRIDGE/THIRD VERSE? From *MY* 5sos?????????? OKAY I SEE YOU,,, Okay the repetitiveness is kinda rly annoying now but it’s okay I still enjoy the song for now but can see myself maybe not listening to this song much later bc of it (Rating: 7/10)

Lover of Mine - Okay acoustic song of the album icu icu “Butterfly lies chase them away” interesting I like that  “dance around the living room” 👀 oof this pre-chorus is really good I’m such a slut for good prechoruses !! Luke’s voice sounds so soothing and smooth but the drums in the background in the second half are a little? Much? I don’t know maybe they’ll grow on me… I really like the lyrics of this song, I didn’t focus completely on everything but,, dare I say,,,, it might be some of their strongest writing yet??!? Omg I love love love these instrumentals near the end esp the piano sounds so beautiful and kind of reminded me of the interlude after San Francisco. Overall I think this song was honestly very beautiful. Rating: 8/10

Thin White Lies - more bass yessss it sounds so good,, are these lyrics about depression? Ehhh not feeling this chorus at all, too much going on and it’s just not a bop and that’s my only criteria for liking songs lmaoo. This song is giving me Empty Wallets + Babylon vibes kind of? Which isn’t rly my favorite vibe in songs tbh it’s just not for me, I don’t think it’s a bad song, though. “I don’t really like me anymore” :((((( mood Rating: 6/10

Lonely Heart - That one two three was so hot ngl,,, ANOTHER acoustic song?? Okay okay interesting. WOAH WHEN THEY CAME IN together god I love that and this OH OH OH part sooo catchy yesss okay also smth I’ve noticed 5sos doing a lot: quiet beginning (or quiet verses) and loud/bop-y choruses… that’s like half the album look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong !! It’s the equivalent of YB being mostly normal guitar verses and then instrumental pre-choruses lmao at least this I like a lot more WOAH THAT BRIDGE???????? WHO IS SINGING THAT IS THAT MICHAEL? I literally don’t recognize whose voice that is has it been that long since I heard his voice am I tripping?? But either way that was really cool. The song overall was pretty? Plain but not at all bad and it’ll definitely grow on me with more listens. Rating: 7/10

High - last song im so sad ahhh oof that sound it sounded like Michael? And it was umm very ear orgasmic lmao weird to put two songs that start like that one after the other tho but whatever. Woah the way Luke sang “highly” was so angelic !!! This is very acoustic-y too, but it seems like it’s truly mostly the same vibe throughout. Oof Calum’s harmonies sound so good. I also like the background “Ah”s this song sounds very angelic and pretty. I really like the way he sings the lyrics like “I hope you think of me high… think of me highly” and the part after that kind of mirrors that line. Not a huge fan of the lyric saying your friends just want you to yourself oof friends don’t like imma be honest that line was kinda cringy lmaoo But this song was very pretty, though honestly I doubt I’ll listen to it much or remember it just cause slow songs aren’t my cup of tea, but I can really appreciate the song for what it is and it was enjoyable to listen to. Rating: 8/10

Unrelated: I like that the album isn’t crazy long like every other album of theirs. I much prefer concentrating on 12 great songs than making 16-20 and then inevitably them hating/ignoring a few of them cause they’re like,, way worse than the rest of the album

Average rating: Okay technically 7.1/10 BUT if you take out Easier, then it’s a solid 7.5/10

I liked a lot of the songs and I’m sure I’ll like them even more with more listens, but the only ones I really LOVED were Red Desert and No Shame. It’s honestly a fantastic album, I just don’t think it fits my personal vibe. I’m very proud of the boys!! I really think it’s some of their best work. (Besides Easier,,, she can choke 💀💀)

[keepcalm-andbopon]

Introducing us!!

Isabelle: @swiftie-isabelle

I’m Isabelle and I’m turning 14th in June 27! I would die for Taylor swift. I started listening to her when I was 3 and her music had comforted me ever since! She has had such a impact in my life and I’ve gotten so many amazing memories from her!

Victoria: @sinkanddroundswift

im victoria & i do nothing w my life except cry over taylor swift and not having a boyfriend . I do nothing ever except lay in bed and cry over every little detail. I eat too much food for my body. I like boys alot but they don’t like me. taylor swift claims she loves me multiple times but idk if I believe her yet. I love my cat shes a scottish fold. Beverly Hills, 90210 is my favorite tv show & High School Musical is my favorite movie. I also love grayson dolan more than I can comprehend. I have 0 friends so its me, myself, and I all the time.

Lily: @lilyadorestay

im lily and i do nothing with my life except cry over taylor swift, have people tell me to stop crying about taylor swift, and waste money on bucket hats :)

Sasha: @dropsmynamesasha

I’m sasha and I have a large obsession with food, cats and Taylor Swift

Katelyn: @redheadnamedkatelyn

I’m Katelyn and I’m 13! I don’t do anything in my life except for lacrosse and cheer and love Taylor swift. I have red hair, & Taylor Swift is my absolute best friend and my life wouldn’t be the same without her. And I owe so much to her. And basically I’m known as “the Taylor swift girl” at school so that’s kinda cool. Anyways The moral of this is I love Taylor swift!

Lexie: @drunkonswiftxo

I’m lexie, 18 years old. I have a very busy life actually, I compete in many different karate and martial arts competitions and was British Champion in 2016 with my sword and in October of this year I am competing in the World Martial Arts Games! Before any competition I usually get very nervous but listening to Taylor’s music calms me down (cringe ikr) but I wouldn’t be doing all of these if I didnt have a calming mechanism!

Natalia: @natalialovestaylor

hi! i’m natalia, i’m 15 and from the bay area. taylor has been in my life since i was 8 and i’ve been supporting her ever sense:) she makes me so happy, she’s like the sunlight in my life. i want her to know that i love her so much and i want to hug her and tell her thank you more than anything. 💗

Katie: @shapeofyouswift

hi i’m katie and i’m 16! i’m from ny and i went to all 3 metlife shows!! i’ve been seeing taylor in concert since the fearless era and i’ve seen her 11 times! i’m fortune to have met her 5 years ago at GMA and i was able to get a picture with her outside time 100 gala! taylor makes me so happy and has helped me through many rough times in my life as well as all of the happiest! i’m so thankful to have such a positive role model in my life!!

Meredith:

I’m Meredith and I love Taylor Swift more than words can describe:) I’ve been listening to Taylor since I was four and she has always been a big part of my life since then !! She inspires me everyday and makes my life so much brighter. I am so so proud of her and all that she has done!! Also, I love going to the beach and petting dogs🤩💓

Memphis: @taysmidnights

hi i’m memphis!! i play tennis and obsess over taylor swift! i’m from the beautiful state of california, and i love to surf! i first heard a ts song (You Belong With Me) in 2009, and i’ve loved taylor ever since. i am also a proud supporter of the LGBTQ+ community and have a passion for changing our world. oh, and i’m known as “that taylor swift fan” at my school, but i’m not complaining! 🧚🏼‍♀️

Brooke: @brookewhatyoumademedo

i’m brooke and i’m 14!! i live in cleveland, ohio along with some of my best friends i met through taylor!! i look a lot older than i am and it’s a good and bad thing haha. i used to play a lot of sports but i have decided to just stick with lacrosse!! i love music so much because it helps me with everything. taylor has been like my big sister since i was a baby and i’ve always looked up to her!! my stan song is stay stay stay because it always puts me in the best mood!! i love grey’s anatomy a little too much but i can’t help it. the show actually made me very interested in the medical field and as of now i want to be a pediatric neurosurgeon!! i also love volunteering and helping out my community as much as possible! and i like school which is kind of not something freshman say a lot haha. and that’s me!☀️🌸🦋💘💋

Paige: @taylorswift-paige

Hey! I’m Paige & I’m 21 (soon to be 22 😍). I live in Australia and I’ve been listening to Taylor since I was 9. The first time I saw Taylor perform live was at Speak Now and I was completely blown away, since then I’ve been lucky enough to see her perform 6 times. I’m so grateful that little me decided to listen to Taylor as I don’t know where I would be without her lyrics, music, and advice to guide me through life. Thankyou for everything Taylor, I love you so much and I’m so excited for the Lover era 💗😘

Skylar: @skylarswiftie13

Hey I’m Skylar and I’m 15!! I have been loving Taylor ever since I was 5 and I have (obviously) not stopped since. Other than obsessing over Taylor I loveee to run and watch friends and greys !! I have seen Taylor at the 1989 tour Detroit and Rep Detroit and they were hands down the BEST nights of my life and I def cried a TON hahah. I plan on going to Nash and either Chicago or Detroit for next tour! I absolutely cannot wait until the day that I get to wrap my arms around Taylor and thank her for everything she has done for me ahhh. I love you forever and always Taylor!! 🥰❤️🌈🦋✨☀️

@singitswiftie

Hi Taylor I’m ella and I’m turning 17 in August 12th! IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW ALBUM! I just can wait to sing along to all of the songs🥰🥰 you are my absolute favorite human and you helped me with your songs! clean means THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD to me and I just relate to it on a personal level. Thank you for supporting lgbtqia+ always! YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD

Makayla @comebackbbehere

Hey T I’m Makayla!! I’m 13 and I’ve loved you since 2009!! My stan song is Come Back... Be Here not only because it’s amazing but because it has helped me through so so so SO much. It’s amazing how you can, with just a song, literally save someone’s life from spiraling downhill. So thank you. Thank you also, for inspiring so many people. Including me! You have inspired me to sing and write songs and songwriting is now a way I have learned to express myself and a way to help me get through the hard times. You have also inspired me to be more of an activist and speak up for what I believe in. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be a proud feminist or be as educated about the LGBTQ+ community!! In conclusion, thank you SO SO SO much for everything you do and just being the beautiful, amazing, inspiring person you are. I love you more than words can express and I can’t wait for August 23rd!!! ps: I really hope we can hug someday 💗

Bessie: @flyawayswift

Hey !! I’m Bessie, I’m 17 and I’m from the UK 🇬🇧!! I love to do Ballet and Tap dancing, but when it comes to Taylor’s music it’s generally just me doing crazy dad-dancing because I cannot stay calm during her songs. There’s aren’t many words which can sum up accurately how much I love Taylor or how grateful I am to have her in my life, but I love her to the moon and back 💛 I’ve been a swiftie for nearly 5 years, and have loved her music since I was 11. I’ve grown up with her as the big sister I never had, and my biggest dream EVER is to give her the biggest hug hehehe 💛💛

ana: @taysfavourite

hey!! i’m ana and i’m 14, i’m from the uk!! i love taylor (ofc) and i do gymnastics, i also love dance and stuff like that!! i am so thankful for taylor bringing me to some of my best friends!! (i’m always open for new friends btw) and yeah i love taylor!so!much! 💋💋💋

alex: @delicateswiftiez137

hi guys! i’m alex and i’m 14 years old. I live in illinois, and i’ve been a fan of taylor ever since I first heard love story and yblwm on the radio as a kid! my stan song is fearless because I love the message it portrays, but recently i’ve been OBESSED with the whole 1989 album because it’s a literal masterpiece! besides taylor related things, one hobby of mine is swimming! i’ve been a swimmer since I was about 2 years old! anyways, I hope you all have the best day! 🧁🌸🦋💗💋

Edith: @twinfiresignsswift

Hi, my name is Edith and I’m a 15 yr old from California! Anything related to cats is my ideal thing. I’m currently the mother of a tabby cat named Jagger who is very shy, grumpy, and introverted just like me, so the two of us get along very well 🥳 both of us are def party poopers. Anyway I enjoy art, especially watercolor! Initially I wanted to become an artist when I grew up, but I realized I would be poor asf, so now I want to major in biology and become some type of zoologist because animals are the best. In 2014, 5th grader me became obsessed with Blank Space and my life immediately changed from that day on. My favorite album is Speak Now because of how magical and well written it is. My 1 brain cell could never manage to write a whole masterpiece like that all by myself. And my stan song is You Are in Love!! It makes my heart go 💕💗💓 I am so incredibly grateful that I got to see Taylor for the first time ever on rep Pasadena night 1. It was the best day of my life :,) I know so many others do not have the same opportunities; I know how they feel, so I try to stay as humble as I can. I would be such a boring and sad person without Taylor and her amazing lyrics. She is such an amazing role model. Thank you for always being there for me, I will love you forever and always, and I am so excited to see what you have in stock❤️

Jess: @jessheartstaylor

hey!! I’m Jess and I’m 14, from the UK!! My stan song is begin again, I love it so much!! IM SO EXCITED FOR LOVER! I can’t wait to see what Taylor has in store for us!! I’m so thankful for Taylor as she’s such an incredible role model and idol to me, her music always cheers me up and she never fails to make me smile!! I love her so much- forever and always!! 💕💞💓💗💖💝

jordan: @fairytaleswift

hey taylor!! the thought of you scrolling all the way down and reading this right now is insane... all of us girls love you with everything inside of us. I have been supporting you for lucky number 13 years!!! I’ve been with you since 2006! I have been to Speak Now, Red, 1989 and Rep! I am so excited for Lover! It has been an honor watching you grow and become the amazing and strong woman you are today. I love you so much taylor... I hope we get to hug soon! 💗🌥🍭🦄🌩🌸🌈💐🦋💗💓🥰💅🏻🌥

Ravae: @vaelovestaytayswift

Hey I’m Ravae!! I’ve loved Taylor for as long as I can remember my sister has listened to her forever so I grew up listening to her!! Taylor inspires me everyday to be a better person and she’s a great role model. Her music helps me through the really rough times but also puts me in a better mood through the good times! I hope to meet you one day! Love you Tay🦋💞🌈💘🥺

Gracie: @inredlipsticks

Hey, Taylor! I’m Gracie and I’m 20 as of June 22nd. I’ve loved you since debut and my favorite album of all time is Fearless. I’ve been fortunate enough to see you four times and hopefully more on the lover tour 💗 along with Taylor, I also love Selena Gomez, Disney, and dogs!! 💗🦋🌸 The four most important things in my life.

Ella: @ellalovesswift

Hey! My name is Ella and I’m 17 years old. I’ve loved Taylor ever since the day my dad thought I needed my own music instead of just listening to his, this was when I was just seven years old and my dad bought me the fearless album and I fell in love with Love Story!! Ever since then I’ve never stopped loving Taylor! Other than her music, I’ve grown up with Taylor and every day she has inspired me to be a better person! My favourite songs are enchanted, better than revenge and dress! I’ve been to the red and reputation tours in Melbourne! Other than Taylor I am a swimmer. I swim a lot and it’s been a part of my life since before Taylor! I hope one day I can hug her and tell her how much she’s impacted my life! I will always stay, love you Tay 💗🦋💓🌸

bri: @briadorestay

hi t! my name is bri and i am 13 (turning 14 on august 19th) i have loved you since i was 5 years old and my stan songs are the archer, ciwyw, and you are in love. the soft songs🥺🥺 i love you so much and i hope you never stop doing what you’re doing because you are so inspiring!! i love u so much buddy! see you one day?🧚‍♀️☁️🌸💘🥺💗⭐️🕊

[noelacciari]

alright this is kinda bad but I'm gonna ask anyway. so I'm a new/casual hockey fan and this girl I'm friends w is super into hockey and I'm kinda having to bluff my way through convos rn so could you give me a basic summary of the roster and stuff pls :)))

okay babe, so this is how we’re gonna set this up for you… personality quiz style. (also wait I’m assuming you mean Bruins so. im very sorry if this was about another team lol)

Step 1: pick your star

- Do you strive for perfection? Do you look for stability in a relationship? Can you appreciate a good beard? Do you need a perfect man to project all your feelings regarding men onto and then you never have to even look at another man in real life? Then Patrice Bergeron is the guy for you. He’s perfect. Like legit. Has been nominated for the Selke Award (best defensive forward) approximately a gazillion times, eventually they’re going to change it to The Bergy. Gorgeous play maker, dominate on the face-off circle. Quiet leader in the room. A pillar of the Boston community. The only person who can tame Marchand (we’ll get to him later). Every person in New England is AT LEAST 30% in love with him, regardless of sexual orientation. (I’m not even kidding). Future Hall of Famer. Without a doubt. (Forward (Center), #37, first line)

- Do you enjoy carbs? How about charming smiles? Do you enjoy men who toe the lines of fashion? Do you like a show, flashy lights and stunning tricks? Do you like people who make you smile, no matter how bad your day is? Then David Pastrnak is your man. Better know as Pasta (said with a deep Boston accent), he’s been tearing up the ice from the moment he arrived in TD Garden. A member of the Best Top Line in the League (alongside Bergeron - and that other guy who we will get to later). His goals are always absolutely nasty, just. Sexy, sexy hockey. Off the ice he’s sunshine personified, known for his chipped tooth smile, wearing checked suits and floral shirt, and just being generally the best. (Forward (winger), #88, first line)

- Are human sized chipmunks something you think would be pretty cool? How do you feel about Long Island? Would you think it’s funny if a guy who was a star player on a Boston team dated the daughter of a Pittsburgh coach? Do you think it’s even funnier if a guy who tweeted “I hate the Bruins” then proceeds to get drafted by them? Then Charlie McAvoy is your star d-man. At the ripe old age of 21, Long Island native Charlie McAvoy already carries a huge chunk of responsibility on the Bruins defense core. A future leader for the team (captain. imo), Charlie puts up incredible minutes, and is the perfect complement to his d-partner Zdeno Chara (we’ll get to him too). Also known as Cheeks (on tumblr) or Mac (by his teammates), Charlie isn’t afraid to throw his weight around on the ice, and he looks good doing it. Dude is a Bonafide Stallion. (Defense, #73, 1st Pair)

Step 2: Pick your Dad

- Are you vegetarian? How do you feel about EXTREMELY tall men wearing easter bunny onesies? Do you prefer to bike to work instead of taking the train? what about pigeons? If you consider pigeons friends, then Zdeno Chara is your new dad! (Boogie Woogie Woogie). You know how Bruins fans like to say - Don’t Poke The Bear? Well Big Zee is that hypothetical bear. Our beloved captain and father earned himself quite the reputation on the ice, known for his hard AF slap shots and even harder punches. Clocking in at 6′9″ and 250lbs, Zad is still a beast at 42 years old - and he apparently has no plans to retire. While his age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down on the ice, Zee has shown his softer side off the ice with his inspirational and extremely cute Instagram. He came into Boston in 2006 and was named Captain upon signing, and has forever changed the culture of the Boston Bruins. Chara facilitates an inclusive but hard working locker room, and his legacy will live on in Boston long after his retirement. (Defense, #33, first pair)

- Are you a dog person? Also are you American? Those are really the only 2 qualifications you need to chose David Backes as your dad. Although some of us older folks like me (at the stunningly old, reaching retirement age of 26) might consider Backes to be more of a daddy, the majority of Bruins tumblr view him as their Dad. Common nicknames include Dadkes and Papa, and his effect on the team after being brought back into the line-up during the playoffs has endeared him to fans. While his deal is… not great (he’s expensive!!) and he hasn’t performed up to how much money he’s paid, it’s clear that he’s a leader on the team. The young guys look up to him, and the older guys respect him, and that’s what we’s appreciates ‘bout him. Also. He LOVES animals. Backes and his wife Kelly (who have known each other since kindergarten how cute is that shit) have their own charity that helps animals!! (Forward (Winger/Center), #42, currently 2nd line)

- Were you really into magic as a kid (or currently)? Have you always gravitated to your one friend’s dad who was super quiet but super smart and taught you how to play chess at that cookout one time? Then your new dad is David Krejci! Sometimes called The Wizard, Krejci is known to make magic happen on the ice. Between no-look passes and somehow being able to know exactly where his wingers are going to be before they even know, tbh. Krej is probably the MOST underrated player on the Bruins, but he’s always dependable, and always seems to be there when you need him.  (Forward (Center), #46, 2nd Line)

Step 3: pick your weirdo

- Have you never eaten a vegetable willingly in your life? Do you consider yourself a chef - specifically for children? Do you think getting your teeth knocked out is fun and exciting? Then Jake “JD” DeBrusk is the dude for you! Goofy AF off the ice and a sniper on it, Jake is extremely worthy of being your chosen weirdo. He has a lucky winter hat named “tuukka” that he’s been wearing all playoffs, and he might only have one brain cell but we love him for it. At one point called a draft bust, Jake has been proving himself to be an elite player, and has been a steady winger for Krejci all season. Plus. He’s cute af. (Forward (winger), #74, 2nd Line)

- Is getting under other people’s skin one of your favorite activities? Do you like to piss people off by being better than them at everything? Does licking someone’s face in the middle of a hockey game seem like a Good Idea to you? Back in step number one did you chose Patrice Bergeron as your Lord and Savior? Then Boston’s favorite Pest - Brad Marchand - is the guy for you! Brad started off as an undersized fourth liner, and has worked his way up to one of the top scorers in the league. Outside of Boston he’s probably the most hated player in the NHL - earning himself a reputation for being a pest (at best), and sometimes being dirty (at worst). This year we are proud to announce that he did not get suspended once! Though he did come in just short of 100 Penalty Minutes. Marchy was our top scorer this year, and has become an integral part of this team. (Forward (winger), #63, 1st Line)

- Are you secretly an arsonist? Are frogs your favorite animal? Do you have a crush on that Pretty Jock that’s in all your classes and sometimes smiles at you in the lunch line? Then Danton Heinen is the weirdo for you. Danton has been a quietly steady performer for the Bruins this season, spending time on the top line with Bergeron and Marchand when Pasta was out. He’s growing into quite the play maker, and he’s known for making good decisions on the ice that lead to goals. Danton also happens to look like a frog, which is an important character trait imo. He’s a tumblr favorite, but he’s a good person to like even in real life, because he makes an impact on the ice. (Forward (winger), #43, 3rd Line)

Step 4: chose your conventionally attractive white boy

- OKay we’re not doing the questions thing because judging by your ask you may not even be interested in men so i’m just going to dive straight into the description. He’s tall with a strong jaw and perfect curls and pecs of a God. Charlie Coyle is a Weymouth, MA native who Boston brought back home at the trade deadline. He’s been a bit of a hero this playoff run, and he looks damn good doing it. The B’s have been searching for a good 3rd line center, and Charlie has filled the role perfectly. Personally, I am deeply in love with him, in case you could not tell. (Forward (center/winger), #13, 3rd Line)

- an integral member of the Bruin’s all important Line 1A (aka the 4th line), Sean Kuraly has got it all. Piercing blue eyes? Check. Perfectly highlighted hair? Check. Cute little chin? Double check. Though he’s been photographed wearing jorts and an open flannel shirt with nothing underneath it, Sean is still a certified Babe. He’s been Klutch in every playoff run he’s had with the B’s, and is the scoring force behind the 4th Line’s brawn. Not to mention, his signature celly is a leap from the ice! (Forward, (center/winger), #52, 4th Line)

- Brandon Carlo… how do I begin to explain Brandon Carlo? Brandon Carlo is flawless. He has two bible tattoos and a designer bulldog. I hear his hair is insured for $10,000. I hear he does Tri-City Americans commercials… in Washington. His favorite movie is Miracle. One time he met David Backes on a plane… and he told him he was pretty. One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome (’cause he missed). In all seriousness though, Monte is a hardworking, defensive defenseman, who has really shone this season. He doesn’t show up on the scoreboard often, but he makes it really hard for other teams to get goals. Even though he struggles to score empty netters... he’s still a babe. (Defense, #25, 2nd Pair)

Step 5: Chose your shorty

- If you’re thinking - wait, shouldn’t Marchand be in this category? Isn’t he the smallest guy in the World? Then Torey Krug is the Short King for you. An ELITE offensive defenseman, Torey is absolute dynamite on the ice. In game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals Torey made history by becoming the first Bruins player ever to record 4 points in a stanley cup finals game. Krug is quick on his feet and can snipe from the blue line, but isn’t afraid to lay down the law when he needs to. Notorious for loosing his helmet so he can show off that flow, Torey also has a bulldog named fenway and a BABY on the way. (Defense, #47, 2nd Pair).

- Is talk shit, get hit a favorite saying of yours? Can you appreciate biceps the size of your head? Then Noel Acciari is your man. He might be short but he’s built like a tank, and he uses that bod to plow through guys on the ice. Noeldozer is known for laying down the cleanest hits, and we love when he takes out the trash! The Rhode Island Native got married last summer, and has a golden retriever named Thor. His mouth is currently fucked right up but I promise he’s actually kinda pretty. (Forward (winger/center), #55, 4th Line)

- Are you one of the apparent hoards of people that think a Boston accent is sexy? Could you get into a guy who says the fuck word on live television? Are collarbone tattoos a thing you admire? Do you like sexy, tough little son’s of bitches? Great! Matt Grzelcyk is the little guy for you. A BU grad who’s become a cornerstone of the Bruins d-core, Grz is a tough little cutie who works hard and gets shit done. More of an offensive defenseman, Matty G has been there for the team even when all of our other defenseman were injured. His Dad has worked at the Gahden for like a million years, and playing for the B’s is a dream come true for Matt and his family. He got taken out in Game 2 of the Finals, and the Bruins are currently seeking revenge. Dude’s got a good beard going too. (Defense, #48, 3rd Pair)

Step 6: Pick your goalie

- As much as we love Jaro, there’s only one goalie you need to know about when you’re learning about the Bruins... 2 U’s 2 K’s 2 Points... Tuukka Rask! The clear MVP of the Playoffs this year, Tuukka has been a brick wall in the net for the B’s. He’s known for being quick tempered and a little... wild, at times, having been caught on camera beating the shit out of a bunch of milk crates and on time brandishing a skate blade at the refs like a knife. Though some fans seem to never forgive Tuukka for the B’s loosing the 2013 playoffs, around these parts we love and respect and rely on his prowess in the net. Off ice, he kinda looks like the grinch (and knows it), though apparently Bergy thinks he looks like Harry Styles (i wish i was kidding). He’s also got 2 adorable little girls! (GOALIE, starter)

So now you’ve got 6 guys that you know about, right? I would pick 1 or 2 of those to be the ones you pay attention to. Listen for headlines about their goals/play, if you’re watching games, look for their numbers on the ice. All you gotta do is be able to say “Wow did you see that Coyle goal on Saturday night?” and all of a sudden you sound like an expert! (This works even better of you choose a guy not from the first category). 

If you have more questions about specific players or lines, feel free to reach out! I know not a lot but I know many people who actually do know things lol

(Also to any of Bruins tumblr who made it this far, I KNOW i’m missing your faves okay. Wagner, Clifton, Nordy, MoJo, Moore, and half the providence roster deserve a spot on here. But I’ve already written too much)

(Also Also, special thanks to Lil for helping me with Monte’s description)