#im really nervous lol i hope i lived up to everyones expectations

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[lxmbr]

Luxiem when you propose first! 💍

cw: suggestive in vox and ike's. not proofread

notes: thank you so much anon!! i'm so nervous to post this so i really hope this is up to your expectations! so sorry it took so long to make but i actually had a lot of fun! 🩷

Vox Akuma -

• Vox is a pretty traditional man so i think he'd be a bit bummed at first

• of course he'd say yes

• would probably still propose to you anyway

• he might even try to "1 up" you lol

• you mightve done it at a resturant but nonono he planned for weeks to get something "better"

• he ended up popping the question to you where he first asked you on a date

• he'd ask the other luxiem members to help set up the area with flower petals and candles/whatever you fancy

• VERY CLICHE.

• he does the cheesy prep talk before he finally pops the question

• "would you, (first and last name) make me, Vox Akuma the luckiest demon on earth and join me in ruling my clan?"

• afterwards he'd totally rizz you up to make you forget he just "beat you" in a fake competetion

• after BOTH proposals you know what happens ;)

• in the end he would happily say yes but be very flustered as he didnt expect you to be the one to do so. 

• the fact that you proposed first was both hot AND sweet

• he'd still want to give his go at a proposal too though :)

Mysta Rias -

• This boy- man would SCREAM

• he'd be hella surprised

• after he asesses the situation i think he'd do that cringy white girl thing 

• "OH EM GEE!! NO YOU DIDN'T! YES IF COURSE I WILL BABE!" while jumping and fanning his face with his hands

• after the jokes he'd say yes genuinely and kiss you happily

• "ah babeeee in so surprised but..im so happy" with his  sheepish giggle

• would give you the BIGGEST HUG ™

• since you asked him he'd treat you to dinner that night

• "its on me loves..gotta treat my future wife don't i?~"

• wouldnt. stop. talking. about. it. all. week.

• he might cry a bit but he would hide it for sure. maybe only a tear or two would come out

• would be soooo clingy the rest of the day/night

• "can we shower together??" 

• in the end he wouldnt mind all that much..hes just sooo excited to get to marry you!!

Luca Kaneshiro -

• you decided that day was THE day...but..so did he..

• oops! you both proposed the same day!

• of course the 3 year anniversary would he perfect!! why wouldnt he think of the possibility that you'd do it?!

• when you get on 1 knee he'd look around with a shocked expression and would give his awkward laugh

• "WHAT?!" 

• after your speech he got down on HIS knee ans then proposed to you..at eye level since you were still kneeling 

• everyone around was shocked. the other luxiem members aw-ing and laughing

• another loud one

• he'd call back home, YOUR mom, the waiters and waitresses, the lucubs...EVERYONE

• would also be clingy af 

• couldnt look you in the face from pure shyness but you caught him staring at you multiple times

• he wouldnt stop praising you for your proposal

• "omg that was so good baby i loved it!!"

• never lets go of you, your arms and hands are ALWAYS intertwined 

• gets jealous and possessive easily

• he'd pull you away from everyone..mainly the other guys

• "excuse you IKE. my FIANCE is BUSY with ME." while dragging you toward him and pouting

• no one is ever letting you guys live this down

Ike Eveland -

• he already was calling you his fiance/wife/husband before any of this

• he panicked

• after your proposal he pulled you into a quieter place frantically without answering 

• everyone thought it went bad and they all were upset

• you finally saw how red he was and he apologized and wanted to yell "YES" in your face..but he didnt

• "y-yes..i'd love to marry you min kärlek." 

• wouldnt let go of your hand

• makes sure YOU put the ring on his hand, not him

• when you guys come back out hes holding your hand timidly, making sure to show off the ring

• "GUYSSSS STAWPPP" when everyone cheers

• takes you to your favorite place afterward for food and then books a 5 star hotel

• "come on darling...pack up your things! <3"

• lets just say...yall had a NIGHT

• tries his best to be romantic all night

• surprisingly can play it cool with you after the initial shock unlike luca

• while he might be internally freaking out he could calm you down and rizz you up so. easily.

• absolute baby boy ™

• so. SO. excited to start planning

• "so we can have half of the venue (your fav color) and the other half blue!! and omg i can have- and you can- and can we please-" 

• basically very surprisee and panicked but once he gets you alone he very quickly gets insanely excited 

Shu Yamino -

• he already knew 

• was very nervous and wary around you often since he didnt know when but he knew you would yk?

• of course he didnt say anything, he didnt wanna ruin it

• actually he didnt even tell you he knew

• was actually caught off gaurd when you did it at first

• the rest of the proposal though he was able to keep it cool

• he actually bought you a ring and flowers in preperation

• "i would..love to marry you" as he grabs your hand and slips on your ring while you slip his on

• "ah..ive been waiting for this..im so happy"

• only tells close people such as family, luxiem, and manager-san

• asks staff-san for a week off that same day for a pre-wedding honeymoon

• gets shy whenever you call him your fiance/husband and vise versa

• he adores you and is clearly SO excited

• you caught him searching for weddingspo one night when he was supposed to be working

• buys new flowers every week until the day of the wedding

• lowkey had a dream about it and it made him giddy all day when he woke up

[cogbreath]

not a vent but it is a ramble of personal things but

im seriously so so like... shocked idk. i didnt expect this to happen. it seems like its really gonna happen. but im nervous. theres been times before where it was like. my mom was talking about how he might not be allowed 2 live here anymore and i was so hyped but then nothing came of it. i cant have that happen again. im 21 years old man. and i dont have a life because of the shit living arrangements we have going on bc of him. if hes really fed up and leaving this is gonnabe so fucking huge.......... like i said before i want his room so i can expand my waifu shrines 😈 ... lol. im being lighthearted. i seriously had 0 hope for a while. and idk. i once had a serious breakdown in front of my mom wherre i admitted that i felt like i was genuinely gonna end up killing him. and tbh i thought that there was a chance that ended up being the only way out. im really happy if this is true and im getting an actual happy ending for once. ive been. wanting this so desperately since i was a kid guys. seriously. i hate that man so much. hes a disgusting abusive asshole with 0 compassion + he m*lested me. hes got mad health problems that my mom manages for him and i wonder if shes worried about how he'll do on his own with that. personallly i dont care. i dont care. i want him out. i dont want my mama being his caregiver nomore. cruel cruel man. for all my life ive watched that man degrade her ans berate her and expect her to serve him afterwards ..... ive had to deal with overhearing him harassing her for never having sex with him.. which is something that was always extra painful for me because of my own sexual trauma.... theres honna be a lot of scary changes like my mom says i have to get a job again. im really not not good at working due to my disabilities. but i could hold a job for a year before i ended up losing it. it was very trauamtic. i dont want to work again. but i will be freed from the familial agony. its a lot guys. seriously. ive been so so so isolated and disconnected from eberything and everyone because of it for all my life. ive never been able to truly be a person because of it. it became my job to help my mother emotionally and mentally to degrees that no child really should havr to because she had no one else. i dont fault or resent her at all for that and im happy to defend her and help her and listen to her. its a lot though and especially when i was younger. also

ill probably do drugs less often because i wont be trying to drown out another fight theyre having.

im nervous because im a a psychotic autistic agoraphobic and i will have to be going outside now. but. i will be going outside now... which means having a life. my mom will be with me still. i will still live with her and probably will most my life because of my circumstances. but i love her. im okay with having to maybe do some scary things because of that. dude. theres a convention near me soon that i was hoping to go to. i kinda just had it as a pipe dream though. because basiclaly i have no ability or opportunities to leave the house. but now i will. im really hopping that this is rwal and i'll be able to go... its my goal. i want to make a misty monsoon cosplay. i really do. im crying rn bexause im just so excited to get a chance at things. trust me thougu im still gonna be a asocial shutin first and foremost. dont worry guys i wont be abandoning you. im a dedicated poster. but you know. im gonna be posting under better circumstances inshallah.

also this is a lot for me spiritually. my dad is heavily islamophobic and ive not been able to safely be open because of him. ive prayed and prayed a lot to allah to help make things to where i can finally do that. i really really feel like allah has given me a great gift here im so happy allahu akbar

[slytherinshua]

Sorry I meant to reply to your last message (I have a terrible habit of being social and then go radio silent for like a week after ahaha). I listened to a few of Hyunsang's songs and oh my goodness, genuinely is he ok?? They were really good and I loved them, but all the ones I heard were so sad?? Does he need a hug?? Who do I have to beat up?

Your post about people is so true though, it's honestly so hard to make friendships (or even just be nice to some people tbh). Sometimes you just don't vibe with a person, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean irl, there is someone in my friend group who I just don't vibe with at all, but all of my friends really like him and enjoy hanging out w him. It is quite hard sometimes to be friendly ahaha (it does make me feel like a horrible person tbh, but what can you do? But I think the whole thing of how he got into our friend group is a bit strange. Without context it sounds bad, but I promise it is genuinely kinda weird lol). But definitely if you ever find that our convo is too dry or weird, don't hesitate to tell me!! I think sometimes you have to prioritise your comfort and if the other person is willing to change, then that's probably a good sign!

I hope you are doing well! (I watched another clip from a Lucy concert and got jealous of you again 😡)

lol don’t worry at all!! LMAO STOP IJBOL 😭😭😭 it’s so true whenever i listen to hyunsang im like WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BOY?? imagine debuting with an ep titled “my poor lonely heart” AND EXPECTING PPL TO THINK UR FINE DIDJKS 😭😭 and if you watch any live performances or his covers HIS EYES LOOK SO SAD WHILE HE SINGS LIKE HE COULD CRY AT ANY MOMENT ☹️☹️☹️ so literally when he smiles I melt so much cause I’m not used to it anyway he’s so cute and I love him and his emo music and pretty voice 🥹🥹

yeah I feel it a lot lately cause I always want to be nice to everyone especially if they talk to me on my blog but if we don’t click after a bit of talking I feel awkward 😭😭😭 and they’ll keep messaging me and then idk what to do cause the conversations are literally like “hi hru” “I’m good wbu” AND THATS IT 💀💀💀 damn that must suck I’m sorry that’s a thing 😭😭 it’s even harder when it’s a friend group situation cause you can’t just stop talking to one person if they still have connections to all your other friends and you also can’t bring it up with your other friends cause they won’t see the problem :( but don’t worry our convos have been anything but dry since you first sent me an ask 🥹🥹 I love talking abt lucy or anything else with you I could do it all day lmao

I’m doing pretty good!! I have my first piano lesson in like 2 days.. I’m really nervous for it because it’s my first one in over a year since I took a break and it’s with a new teacher. I had lessons with her for a bit in 2020 but they were mostly over zoom because of covid. these ones are in person and I haven’t had in person lessons since 2019 🧍‍♀️ I also haven’t practiced piano since last year when I was taking lessons and even then I feel like I didn’t practice at all between lessons cause I was losing motivation.. so realistically I probably haven’t practiced properly and consistently for 2 years fml 😭😭 but hopefully everything will go well. I’m hoping I’ll like this teacher again I don’t really remember having an opinion on her when I had her 4 years ago, but I remember switching back to my old piano teacher who had moved to England since I was doing online lessons anyway. I’ve had her for around 6 years total so I’m very comfortable with her she’s basically made me the pianist I am today lol. but I think in person lessons would be beneficial which is why I’m trying this out instead.

I have nothing to help you about the jealousy but I did get the group photo back recently (kinda sad they didn’t give us 2 cause we did take 2 and I was so nervous when the first pic was taken that I didn’t have a pose and sangyeop was telling me that he was gonna do a flower pose and I didn’t know wtf a flower pose was until a day later when it clicked in my head LKSJSKS) but I am the one w the pink heart and yes I was RIGHT next to sangyeop and wonsang aka my bias and wrecker skdjsksk how did I survive

[sungbeam]

OKAY I MIGHT KINDA EXPOSE MYSELF LATER BUT- shoot shoot I’m so excited to read Rescue Protocol I don’t care it’s almost 30k words bc I have read like 7-ish(?) (could be more tbh I will be able to tell when I start reblogging them lol) different works of yours and your writing is amazing: you got great humour, I love how each mc/yn has their own personality yet it doesn’t feel to alien for a person to relate to or understand, and of course you portray each member’s persona and vibe really well. Which is why I’m so excited about this Kevin’s fic since there isn’t much for him around tumblr and this boy deserves recognition<3 And yeah that’s it for now, I apologize for the lengthy message but since I’m taking way too long to actually write my reviews on my tags, I wanted to at least let you know (as one of your many readers) that you shouldn’t feel nervous bc you’re doing amazing!!! Thanks for keep writing even tho it can be tiring or daunting or uncertain sometimes!! Okay omw to read that fic for real now🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

RAAAH??? ANON HELLO??? let me just,,, say that waking up to this message in my inbox was such a blessing :')) yes, i def was feeling nervous yesterday bc this was the fastest i have ever finished a love in unity fic and i didn't know if it was gonna live up to the standards that people might expect of me/these fics :')) but seeing how much support it's gotten since i posted it has been flooring, to say the least. im really so so grateful to u and everyone else (lol sorry this became an Oscar's acceptance speech 💀)

but thank u for reading my work and enjoying them !!! if u do reblog them all at once, i will def look forward to the spam lolol it always makes my day if and when that happens 😎 AND YES!! i do agree that there isn't enough love for kevin on this app <//3 im glad to have written something for the kev stans out there 🤧✊🏼 PLS omg the way u somehow managed to understand one of my insecurities on the dot w the yns 😭😭 i always fear that they come off too bland or sounding like the other ones, so u saying that makes me feel so much better tysm 😭😭😭💖💖

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING A LENGTHY ASK MESSAGE !!! i and most other writers here, will always welcome them :') i hope u love rescue protocol 😚💖

[herohotline]

Wet Clay (P.5)

Shouta Aizawa x Reader

Summary: You’ve got your own handful of problems- being a counselor doesn’t mean you can’t also have anxiety or feel overwhelmed by it all.

A/N: it’s finally here!! thank god!! and thank you everyone who was so patient waiting for the new part. i honestly had a lot of fun making this new chapter- i wanted it to be a bit longer as a Thank You for the long wait. I hope you all enjoy it, and look forward to the next chapter!

Word Count: 5,500+

Tag List: @babayaga67, @cosmichorse95, @sugacookiies, @howthe-f-didigethere, @rintomoj​, @missadorable96​

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Technically-not-but-still-technically House Arrest is finally over, much to your relief.

You, Bakugo, and Midoriya were finally freed from Aizawa’s punishment and proceeded with your regular schedules. And while Bakugo and Midoriya have a lot of catching up to do, the same goes for you.

Which you weren’t expecting at all, but you’re pleasantly surprised by a few students standing at your office on your first day back greeting you and asking for a scheduled meeting.

Slowly but surely, word of you and your practice has been moving around the school, which is exactly what you were hoping for. Especially since it got out that you were able to have a successful session with Bakugo, of all people, the students seem to suddenly have a newfound interest in trying therapy that wasn’t there before. It’s the progress you’ve been waiting for to report to Nezu, letting him know that students even outside of the hero course were asking about therapy.

Due to your agreement, you couldn’t give them a session. Your time was pointed strictly at the hero classes for the time being, but it wouldn’t always be that way. You had the interested students fill out a simple questionnaire once the idea popped in your head, which helped you immensely for your reports to Nezu.

They were simple questions, not asking anything too personal, of course. Things like, ‘why does therapy interest you?’, ‘what problems would you like to talk about?’, and ‘what are some of the things that stress you daily?’

The answers you received confirmed that you were right from the beginning- U.A needed a proper counseling team hired, and it would be best if it was sooner rather than later.

And on top of all that good news (though kids needing therapy admittedly wasn’t the best news, but at least it was being assessed instead of being ignored), Nezu agreed with you! After hearing and reading your reports on the students, he agreed to start working with you to begin making after-school programs and looking for professionals to hire. It would take a few weeks, if not more, but the beginning of your dream for U.A was finally taking big steps, and it was overwhelmingly exciting.

You haven’t been able to fill anybody in on your news quite yet, but your change in attitude was noticeable by the staff and the students. It’s especially noticeable to the staff when you come in one morning, cups of coffee and tea hot and ready that you had bought for them when they came into the Teacher’s Lounge before class.

Yamada enters with Kayama, whistling low as he quickly walks over and inspects the cups. “Ho-hey!” He exclaims. “What’s all this?”

“Good morning, Yamada,” you smile at him and nudge a cup his way, which he takes with a gleeful hum. “I was just feeling good this morning and I’m really thankful to how much everyone has helped me settle in, so I figured I could buy everyone a drink.” Kayama walks up as well, grabbing one of the teas, surprising you with her choice.

She notices, a deep frown on her lips. “You tempt me, honey, but I have to watch my figure!” She gestures to her body, which is on full display at all hours. Not that you’re a prude, but it makes you wonder how the pubescent boys and girls feel while in her presence. You’re not envious of them. “But I appreciate you very much, thank you.”

“It’s no problem, I’ll make sure to try and get something better for you next time,”

“Oh, don’t worry! A little tea won’t hurt me.” Kayama quickly waves off your concerns and she sits on one of the chairs available in the admittedly small room. “So? Why’re you so happy?” She raises an eyebrow, and before she can ask-

“Nothing that you’re assuming, I’m sure,” you tell her quickly. “Truthfully, it’s because my work is going well. My tenure here might actually be useful- Nezu and I are talking specifics on hiring other counselors, now.”

Yamada cheers, as loud as ever, “really?! Good job!” He wraps an arm around you and shakes you- if the coffee hadn’t woken you up before, you were surely awake now with his energy! “Does that mean you’ll be staying?” Kayama perks up from her seat.

“Oh, does it? It would be so nice to keep you around longer!”

“I’m not sure about that,” you laugh uneasily, “what the students really need is someone that can be fully devoted to them and their needs, you know? I can’t give that to them while I’m still working as a counselor on the side, and I’m really not sure if I can give up that job.”

“Aw,” Yamada frowns, keeping his arm secure around your shoulder as he looks down at you. The man was freakishly tall, honestly. “Shouta will be so bummed. Do you know how long your tenure lasts?”

“I sort of hoped you were giving up on that,” you deflate. “But, no, I’m not very sure. But it’s probably not for much longer. A month more, maybe two at most. Then I’ll be leaving.”

“Leaving?”

You and Yamada turn your head towards the door, and you get a face full of his hair, making you sputter and sneeze as he laughs at you and apologizes (but it doesn’t sound like he’s sorry). You shove him away so you can actually look at Yagi, dressed in his usual baggy, bright yellow suit.

“Morning, Yagi,” you greet him tiredly. If you said before that you were energized by Yamada’s behavior, you take it back now. He’s actually exhausting. “Yes, eventually. I’m not officially hired, you know.”

“I must have forgotten,” Yagi mumbles under his breath, looking equally tired but thankful as you nudge a cup of tea his way and he takes a long sip. You remember him telling you that coffee was one of the things on his long, long list that his stomach couldn’t handle. “I’m getting too old, probably.”

“How old are you, anyway?” Kayama asks from her seat and Yagi smiles.

“That’s a good question,” he says, and then looks to you. “You’re leaving in a month or so, though? That’s unfortunate, Shouta will miss you.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Nice job avoiding the question, pro-hero,”

“I swear the two of you never quit it!”

The three of you talk over one another at the same time, and after a moment’s silence, burst into laughter together. Despite everything, these people had quickly become your friends, and chatting with them like this every morning was a part of what made the extra stress and work all worth it. “I’ll miss all of you when I have to leave, I mean it,” you tell them once the laughter subsides, and Kayama coos.

“We’ll miss you, too. I’m sure the students will as well, you’ve grown on them.”

“That’s true… I don’t feel good about the whole making-a-relationship-and-bowing-out thing. It takes a long time for a child to feel comfortable talking to you about their issues, and I finally have that! And now that I'd have to leave…” You sigh heavily as you rest against one of the tables, crossing your arms at your chest.

“Give it some more thought, then,” Kayama suggests. “Everyone would be happy to keep you around, including Nezu. Think about all your options before you make any decisions.”

It’s good advice, but the truth is, you’ve already done that.

The time you’ve spent at U.A has been amazing, yes, but you’ve never been more overworked in your life. The stress of keeping up your two professional jobs has you tossing and turning at night, and the burden of feeling like you’re going to let everyone down isn’t good for your mental state, either. For your own health, you can’t keep working the way you are now.

You’re going to have to choose. And it hurts you more than anything.

Despite all of that, you smile at Kayama. “You’re right,” you say, and you try not to sound as tired as you feel, “I’ll think about it.”

—-

The first thing you have to do with your new duties from Nezu is put together after-school affairs. He doesn’t give you a lot to go off of- he just wants you to put together some sort of event or club that the students can go to after hours that will be good for them. Nezu is nice, but he gives you too much freedom. It’s hard to create ideas all on your own and be the judge on if they’re worth the school’s time and money or not.

You’ve thought of several things. The thing you’re trying to do is create an original idea that isn’t purely formed around therapy , per se, but a way for students to vent their problems in a healthy and calm environment. Your best idea has been a little something you called ‘food for thought’, a baking club students can go to where they can learn to bake and cook a variety of simple dishes, and while they bake, everyone gets a turn talking about something that’s bothered them or that they’re working through, no judgment. It can be a bit therapeutic to cook in general for some people, and if you gave students the chance to vent during that time, you think it might be something healthy and fun. And then they could all eat snacks afterward.

...But you doubt yourself again and think about scrapping the idea. There’s too many variables- some students might not like the idea of group therapy like that, and some students might abuse the club by coming only for treats and ruin it for everyone else. Plus, not everyone likes to cook.

You groan and deflate in your seat, laying face-down on your desk. This is too hard…!

Out of nowhere, your phone vibrates. It makes you reluctantly pull your head up, grasping for the device and wincing at the bright screen when it turns on.

It’s one of your clients asking for an appointment.

You take a deep, tired breath in, and let it out slowly. Slowly you sit up in your chair and open one of your desk drawers, fumbling around for your planner and slapping it down on the desk as you open the text and start to ask for details.

Your schedule is crammed, a lot more than it used to be. You end up feeling guilty not being able to see your patient soon enough and give up some of your free time in order to see them. Not that they know that- they thank you and tell you they’ll see you soon, and the conversation is ended.

Somehow, you’re even more tired than before.

Eyes wander over to your plush, comfortable couch. It’s a tempting idea, but… the scattered papers full of drafts of ideas for an after school activity are staring at you, so you shake your head at the idea and try to focus on the papers instead. You can’t afford to nap right now, even though it sounds so, so nice right now.

Your eyes droop, but you can’t sleep. Absolutely not. Your shoulders sag.

You fall asleep slouched over your desk before you can even realize it.

—-

Waking up is surprising, because you didn’t remember falling asleep. It’s always odd when that happens- opening your eyes and forgetting you even closed them, so it has you sitting there like, wait, what ? For a few moments.

You’re not even at your desk like you remember being. Instead, you’re laying on your couch- something you very much remember wanting to do, but you hadn’t. You’re alone in your office too, which is even more odd. You don’t think you sleepwalk.

As you slowly sit up and stretch your tired limbs, you look at the clock on your wall and see that it reads 3:20- school is just about to end.

Drat. You were hoping to get more done before now…

You suppose that’s fine- you can always work more at home and email Nezu if you come up with a great idea by the end of the night, but you sort of doubt that will happen. You go back to your desk to start gathering your things, but from the corner of your eye, a bit of yellow catches your attention.

There’s a sticky note on your ‘food for thought’ paper. Your eyebrows spring up in curiosity as you lean forward to read it.

It’s not much. It just says ‘good idea’ and then there’s, strangely enough, a doodle of a cat giving a thumbs up. It’s not the best drawing you’ve ever seen, but it’s cute.

Kind of strange though. A cat? Who even wrote this, anyway? Who was in your office when you were asleep?

You doubt it was a student. You’re not really bothered, but… the sticky note says it was a good idea. You were doubtful about it, but the second opinion makes you rethink your decision.

Maybe it wasn’t that bad of an idea? According to the mysterious cat-doodler.

Hm. You pocket the sticky note, and then put the paper with details of your idea in your bag as you continue to pack up. Maybe if you run into one of the teachers on your way out, you can ask them what they think. You should have thought about that earlier, to be honest.

Quickly you pack up and lock your office. You’re going to miss the train home if you don’t hurry, after all, and you want to get out of the building before the bell rings and the students crowd the halls.

Fortunately, though, you spot Cementoss- Ishiyama- at the front doors, and you wave to catch his attention.

“Ishiyama! You're heading out, too?”

The cement-like man looks toward you, and he walks through the doors, holding it open for you. “Mm. I need to make it to an appointment,” he says simply.

“I see. You wouldn’t mind if I ran an idea by you really quick? It’s for the kids.”

He shakes his head. “Not at all, I just needed to get out before the children did.” You grin and tell him you were doing the same- and then you tell him about your after-school baking idea.

By the time you finish telling him the small details, you’ve walked to the school’s parking lot and Ishiyama looks interested in what you have to say. “I don’t think that’s a bad idea at all. It’s creative, and I think the students would like having something to do besides sitting in a circle and talking.”

“Right!” You animatedly burst for a second- and then bashfully smile at your outburst. “That’s what I was trying to do. I’m glad to hear that it might be worth it. For hires, we could maybe hire a cook, and then the therapist who’d be willing to lead the conversation. That’s where my worry comes in- we’d be paying two people at most, along with spending money on ingredients…”

“Ah, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that,” Ishiyama says, and he slowly comes to a stop in front of what is probably his car. It’s a big, heavy looking vehicle- which kind of makes sense. The guy probably weighs a lot and needs something he won’t crush into the ground. “We have plenty of ingredients and food left over from lunch time, and Lunchrush would be willing to chip in. It could be something that’s held once a week, maybe.”

“Ah, you’re right. I guess I just didn’t want to assume anything on his part, since he already does so much.”

Ishiyama laughs. “You’re very considerate, but don’t let that get in the way of exploring your ideas. And don’t let Nezu scare you- he’ll let you know if it works or not. If it doesn’t, that’s fine. You’re not wasting his time.”

The words are, quite frankly, reassuring. You didn’t realize how much you needed to hear that, and your body naturally relaxes a bit. “Yeah,” you smile at him, “you’re right. Thanks a lot, Ishiyama. I’ll let you go now- good luck with your appointment!” You wave at the cement-man as he enters his car, but right before he closes the door, you suddenly remember something as you light up. “Oh! I had one more question?”

He looks up at you as he keeps his door open.

“Do you know anyone that likes cats?”

The question is an odd one, and his cemented eyebrows raise in surprise, but you don’t really have a proper explanation. Ishiyama thinks about it, and then he says, “the only person I know who actively likes cats is Aizawa.”

It’s your turn to be surprised. Really? You had no idea.

“Huh,” you say aloud. “Well- anyway, thanks a lot for your input! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

You wave off Ishiyama as he drives off, and once he’s gone, you pull out the sticky note still in your pocket. Aizawa likes cats, huh…? He might have been the person who looked over your paper, then, and he probably moved you over to the couch when you fell asleep at your desk.

The thought makes your chest warm. That was certainly nice of him, if that’s the case. But- ah!

The school bell rings, and you jolt into action. If you’re not quick, you’re going to miss your train home!

—-

Your phone had died on the train ride home.

It was tragic, honestly, because that meant you didn’t have anything to distract yourself with as you swayed in the crowded cart during your long ride home. No music, no texts, no articles… you busted yourself by reading the ads on the ceiling of the train, but there was only so much to read, honestly.

By the time you got home, you quickly plugged in your phone and started to make yourself some dinner. It wasn’t until after your dinner, which was just some quick and easy curry and rice from a package, that you were able to look at your phone again.

There’s several text messages waiting for you.

Some of them are from Yamada, and then there’s a few from a client of yours. But there’s an odd contact among them that you never saw in your messages.

Who knew Shouta actually texted people? He seems like the call-only type.

You click on his messages first. There’s three of them, all sent at different times during the day.

Shouta (7:43am): Thank you for the drinks. Glad to hear your work is going well.

You wonder who told him, but you figure it was probably Yamada.

Shouta (1:30pm): If you keep sleeping during work hours, you’re going to want to get a sleeping bag.

So it was him who was in your office! You should have known he’d be a cocky bastard about it, too.

Shouta (4:10pm): Bakugo only yelled five times today?

The last one was kind of funny. Without thinking, you reply back to him.

You (6:45pm): Thanks for the sleeping bag idea, but I’ll pass for now. It was sweet of you to move me to the couch, but next time you’ll need to wake me up instead!

You (6:45pm): Did you see Bakugo go anywhere after class?

Surprisingly, you don’t have to wait at all for his reply.

Shouta (6:45pm): You looked like you needed it.

Shouta (6:46pm): He didn't go to his dorm, but he stayed on campus. Why?

Hmm. You wiggle on your bed, plugging your phone out of its charger so you can relax in a comfortable position as your fingers tap on the screen.

You (6:47pm): I guess if anyone’s a good judge of someone’s need for sleep, it’s Mr.Baggy Eyes, huh? Go figure

You (6:47pm): also, that’s confidential. But I think he deserves a lollipop at this point. Bakugo cares a lot more than he likes to show, but the fact he’s actually thinking about our session and considering some new methods says a lot about his character. Thanks for telling me.

Shouta doesn’t say anything after that, at least not right away, so you move on and look at your other messages. Yamada’s are a bunch of absurd internet pictures, so nothing too important, and your other client who texted you is asking for a reschedule.

It takes a bit of back and forth with your client until you eventually decide on a new date where both of you have time- thankfully, it didn’t require you taking time out of your weekend more than you already have. By the time you’re done, you have one new message from Shouta.

Shouta (6:56pm): You’re right about that. Bakugo is difficult, but with some help, he’ll be able to do a lot for society. Hopefully you’ll be around enough to see him change. His trust doesn’t come easy.

The words make a heavy feeling in your stomach drop. Without meaning to, Shouta has stabbed you in the gut with guilt, and you’re feeling even more about your decision to leave U.A.

How could you leave, really? The students need you- but so do your clients.

Stress builds up in your shoulders again, and staring down at Shouta’s message, your head swarms with bad thoughts.

Anxiety and discomfort rolls over you in waves.

And you don’t really have anyone to confide in. Part of you feels like talking to Shouta- but you’re not really that close to each other yet. You doubt he wants to hear your complaints about work.

Shouldn’t you be grateful for your opportunity?

You blink as you barely make a reply, and then you toss your phone to the side once you turn it off. Your eyes look at the ceiling of your room, and despite the exhaustion deep in your bones, you’re suddenly wide awake.

You feel like you won’t be going to sleep tonight, as much as you would like to.

You (7:08pm): You’re right. I’ll try my best.

——

Coming into work the next morning is dreadful. The only thing keeping you awake and mildly aware of your surroundings is the caffeine that’s running through you- you’ve drank so much coffee and energy drinks that you wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a part of your bloodstream at this point. You look like a mess, but there’s work to be done.

It’s Friday, which is usually nice, because Saturday is your only day off. But you sacrificed your Saturday for a session tomorrow, so there’s no promise of a break for you for at least another week.

Overnight, due to your lack of sleep, you thought of three other ideas for after-school activities the students might like, and you sent all of them over to Nezu once the sun began to rise and you decided it was an appropriate hour to message him. He hasn’t gotten back to you yet, but that’s unsurprising.

With nothing else to do, you got on the train early enough that it's not even that crowded. You still can’t find a seat, but that’s fine. You’re afraid if you sit down and relax for more than a moment, you might fall apart.

Hence why you’re heading to work several hours early. Hopefully you’ll be able to pull yourself together before work starts.

You stumble a bit each time the cart shakes when it comes to a stop, but eventually you get off and walk to U.A. It’s practically empty, which is also unsurprising, but the doors are open for you, so that’s good. You were a bit worried it might all be locked down.

As you head to your office, it’s eerily quiet in the building. Beside the sound of your shoes tapping on the floor, there’s nothing. It’s a bit unsettling.

Maybe that’s just because you haven’t slept at all recently and your anxiety is through the roof at the moment. Who knows? Regardless, you make it to your office with no issues. But when you open the- unlocked- door, you jump.

And then you slam the door shut with a surprised scream.

“Oh my god!” You yell at the door, and you can hear the people scrambling from inside your office. “What’re you doing?! On my couch?!”

Kayama speaks up, her voice just a lilt higher than it usually is. “Would you believe me if I said it was nothing??”

“No! No I wouldn’t!” You yell back, and you rub your eyes with the heel of your palms. “I will never be able to wash my eyes from what I just saw, Jesus-“

“We’re sorry!! You’re really early!”

“Do you always do this shit on my couch?! I have students sit on that thing- oh my GOD, I was laying on it yesterday!”

“No- we swear-“

And then suddenly, as if from nowhere, Shouta is coming from around the corner with his face twisted up in confusion. “What’s going on?” He asks as he walks up to you, and you gesture angrily toward your closed door.

“Yamada and Kayama were fucking on my couch!”

“No we weren’t!!” Yamada’s screechy, way too loud voice denies.

“Yeah, tell me that again as if you’re not scrambling to put clothes on right now.” You huff, and Shouta’s eyebrows have successfully disappeared beyond his hairline. “Did you have any idea about this?” You look toward him, a hateful look in your eye- but he quickly shakes his head.

“I just got here. I was actually- well.” He looks toward your office. “I was going to nap.”

“ Lord - does everyone use my office as they so please? Do the keys I own mean nothing?”

Yamada wails, “we’re sorry- “

“Shut! Shut it!” You snap.

This is the worst. You have had no sleep, no food. You’re overworked and stressed enough as is- this was just the last straw.

“Clean up my office. Get rid of all your ridiculous germs- the door, my desk, the couch- anywhere the two of you touched needs to be squeaky clean or else.”

You’ve never been the type to really get mad, especially at your friends. Especially at friends who you haven’t even been friends with for less than a year. You try to keep your cool. This was just… bad timing.

“Yes, right. We promise,” Kayama says from beyond the door.

“And you-“ you point at Shouta, who is more than a bit surprised at your tone, and his face shows it. “You haven’t had sex in my office, have you?”

“Never.”

“Good.” You let out a frustrated breath. “Then you’re invited to get breakfast with me so I can cool down while those two put themselves together.”

He doesn’t really need much more convincing. He’s already walking by your side as you turn around, walking much faster than you normally do as you head for the front doors.

Shouta walks a bit faster and opens the door for you, too, which you barely mumble a thanks for.

It’s quiet as you walk down the sidewalk in the early morning, but eventually Shouta speaks up, keeping up with your pace easily. “Do you know where you’re going?”

You stop in your tracks.

“No.” You bite your lip as you frown, and you truthfully can’t even look at him. Instead, you keep your eyes on the ground, at the pebbles on the ground. “Do you know anywhere to go?”

“...Yeah. Follow me,” his voice is surprisingly soft as he reaches forward and nudges your arm his direction, and you both turn around as he takes the lead. You don’t walk for long, crossing a few streets and making a few turns, until you’re at the same place that Shouta brought you to last time.

The familiarity as you enter the restaurant makes you relax just a little bit.

“So,” Shouta starts once the two of you sit at a booth. A waiter handed you both a menu, but you haven’t opened it yet. “You’re not usually so tense.”

Shouta doesn’t make meaningless observations, you know that much about him. He’s inviting you to talk about why you’re acting strangely, and you’re tired enough that you take the bait.

You vent. You vent and vent and vent about everything you’ve been feeling lately- stressed from two jobs, guilty for having to leave, not wanting to leave, tired, upset you have to give up your free time, upset you can’t talk to anybody about your feelings, anxious that you’re not good enough- all of it.

You’re a therapist, so you know how important it is to communicate your feelings, but you haven’t been doing it for yourself. You should know better, but it’s hard. You tell all of that to him too, even though he didn’t ask for any of it.

He gave you an opportunity to speak, so you did. All of it.

And by the time you’re done, your food (which you don’t even remember ordering, so Shouta must have done it when you were busy ranting) is sitting hot in front of you and ready to be eaten. You feel like a hot pile of blubber by the time you’re done, releasing a big sigh full of all the ghosts that have haunted you the past few days. And then you stab your fork into your food, and it feels oddly gratifying.

“...Sorry.”

Shouta just barely moves his head as he closes his eyes- a fairly weak version of shaking his head as a way to deny your apology. “I’d be on my last wire if I saw Nemuri and Hizashi fucking, too.”

Despite yourself, you snort.

“I know you haven’t worked at U.A for long, but if you wanted to ask for a day off, I think Nezu would be willing.” You barely open your mouth before he’s already shutting down your argument, “you want to help the students, and I understand that. But how much are you going to help them in this state? You can’t do anything if you’re doubting yourself and you’re sleep deprived on top of it all.”

Brutally honest, but they’re words you needed to hear. You sink into your seat and nibble on your food instead of arguing with him, which Shouta snorts amusedly at as he eats his food too.

Once again, he pays for the meal, but you don’t really try to argue about that, either. You appreciate how considerate he’s being right now.

“You’re right, and you know it too, so I don’t really have to say it. But you’re right.” Shouta smiles as you play with your fork, food now finished. “I haven’t had a day off in so long, I guess I forgot they existed. I don’t even know what I’d do, besides sleeping a lot.”

“Sleeping is always nice,” He comments and you roll your eyes, because of course he’d say that.

“What do you do on your days off?” Shouta gives you a look and you click your tongue. “Right.” Sleeping.

“Could always go out of town. Have a day trip.”

“I suppose, but I’m not really sure where I’d go,” you hum thoughtfully. “I’m not really sure what I even like to do… I know I like spending time with you. But I guess you have even less time than I do to really go anywhere, huh?”

You’re too out of it to really think about what you just admitted, and you’re looking out the window so you don’t see how Shouta’s face shifts at your little confession. “If you’re fine with me being on patrol, we could go somewhere. That’s probably the best I can do.”

And you’re also not aware of how foreign it feels for him to offer his time up like that for another person. You really have no idea- you just smile at him and light up. “Yeah, that’d be fine! Just having a day out, walking around and all that sounds nice. Aw man, it’s kind of exciting now,” you laugh, your eyes squeezing shut as your nose scrunches up.

Shouta discreetly looks away.

“I’m not very exciting, but whatever you say.”

“Well, that’s true,” ow, “you’re relaxing. And I think I need to relax more than I need excitement, really.” Oh.

He just hums in response.

“Well, anyway. Thanks a lot for letting me say all that. It was really nice of you,” you move the subject along, rummaging through your things until you find your phone and click it on. “It’s still awhile until class starts, but we should head back and check on the two love birds.”

“Hopefully they’re decent by now.” Shouta rolls his eyes, scooting out of the booth with you, and with the food already paid for, you both walk out of the diner together.

“I really can’t believe those two to begin with. Did you have any idea they were together?” You look up at him as you walk.

“Honestly? No. And that’s on purpose. I don’t want to know.”

You laugh. “That’s fair.”

Shouta hums again in response, and the two of you chat some more as you head back to U.A together. It’s nice that you can feel a bit lighter than before, now.

But it’s not fair. It’s not fair that now you’re feeling better, a bit more energized than before, you completely miss the way that Shouta looks at you. The way he’s been looking at you ever since you were exploding with anger at his two best friends.

A look that’s a bit too akin to attraction.

[thighs-of-betrayal-blog]

Hey darling! Im back 😅😅

I saw youre taking requests of Tony's. So... Im here for him now 🤣

Well, i was thinking: Steve (or any other Avenger you think will be the best... even Nick Fury) recruits the Reader for the team. At the first moment, she feels out of place... She was excluded from her own family, because of her special abilities (she has the empathic power, or the ability to control the 4 elements... I leave that to you too 😅😅)... so, she always stayed by herself.

The Reader always had the company of the books, thats why she loves to read, study and learn.

She starts spending time with Tony, maybe bringing solutions to some project, or assisting him on some mission. He begins to like her and see her as a daughter.

And at Christmas, she gave a especial gift for him: an acknowledgment of paternity! (I dont know if its the right name of the process... i hope it is 😅 its like a request for adoption... sorry if i messed up lol)

Thank u for reading my request ❤ hope u like it!

The Most Magical Gift

A/N: This is SO sweet!! All these Tony requests are making me so happy, omg. Thank you so much for this, love! It was such a great idea!!

I hope you all enjoy and as always, any feedback is appreciated :)

Pairing: Tony Stark x Daughter! Reader

Warnings: just pure fluff

As you sit on the living room couch, reading a book, you think of how in such little time, this compound has become your home. Before this, you lived with your real parents, but that ended abruptly. Everything came crashing down when they learned of your power to control the four elements. 

Fortunately for you though, Steve found you right after you were kicked out onto the streets of New York and brought you back to his home. The Avenger’s compound. 

At first, you felt out of place. These are the Avengers, the group of people everyone admires to protect the world. But now, you feel like you’re right where you belong. 

“Hey, kid. Whatcha doing?” 

You don’t hear Tony at first, your whole being engrossed in the book in your hands. 

Tony snaps his fingers in front of your face. “Earth to Y/N.” 

“Huh?” you ask, turning around to look at him. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” 

“I can tell. Your book that good?” He nods his head toward the book.

Placing it on the coffee table, you stand up. “Yeah, really good. But, what’s up? Did you need something?” 

Tony grins. “Yeah, gear up. You’re going on a mission with me.” 

Excitement floods your body and you point your finger at yourself. “Me? I’m going on a mission?” 

He chuckles before gesturing towards the elevator. “Yes, you. Now go, get dressed. We leave in 10 minutes. Meet me by the quinjet.” 

“Yes, okay. I’m going.” You squeal as you run away, Tony shaking his head in amusement as you go. 

---

“Alright, kid. So, we’re looking for a blue plant. Blue stems, blue leaves. The whole thing’s blue. Keep your eyes peeled.” 

You roll your eyes, but continue walking onward. When Tony said a mission, you had assumed it would consist of fighting off a bunch of bad guys, not looking for an endangered plant. 

“My eyes are wide open,” you mutter in reply. 

The two of you are in an abandoned building in Germany. The plant was left here to die, but apparently, it contains healing properties that are beneficial to the human race. Which is why you’re here to save it. 

You hear Tony sigh into your ear comm. “Look, kid. I know you were expecting something a little more… epic, but I’m a little nervous to have you out in the field just yet.” 

You’re quiet for a moment. You get where he’s coming from, you really do. But, why is he so nervous? 

“Tony, can I ask you a question?” You’re still looking around as you walk, trying to spot this infamous blue plant. 

“Sure, kid. Ask away.” 

“I’ve been a part of this team for a year now. We all know I’m prepared for the field… So, why are you so nervous about it?” 

There’s silence on the other end and you give Tony a second to collect his thoughts. As he’s thinking, you turn right into a room that resembles a lab. 

“Well, I uh, ya know… care about you and what not.” 

You smile at his nonchalant way of showing affection. 

He doesn’t stop there though. “You’re not completely unbearable to be around. Not like some of the others and by others, I totally mean Bucky.” 

You laugh at that. 

“And, I don’t know, kid. I guess I just feel a need to protect you. This world can be a nasty place and I want to make sure you have the best life possible.” 

A single tear rolls down your cheek at his confession and you quickly wipe it away. Tony would probably freeze up if you start to cry over the comm. 

“Thanks, Tony. You’re not the worst either.” 

“You’re damn right I’m not.” 

Shaking your head and chuckling, you go still once you look up at a shelf on the opposite wall. 

“Tony!” 

“What? What’s wrong?!” 

You reach out, carefully touching the base of the plant. “I think I found it.”

On the other side of the building, Tony smiles. “I knew it was a good idea to bring you along.”

---

You jumped out of bed today, more excited than ever before. It’s officially Christmas Day, and the only thing you’re looking forward to is giving your gift to Tony. 

Over the past few months, Tony’s taken you on four real missions. Not plant saving ones, but ones that involved fighting actual bad guys. It was awesome. 

Today, the day has been filled with appropriate festivities and now, after you’ve eaten, it’s time to exchange gifts. 

You practically run to the living room, your gift carefully placed in a wrapped box. Tony’s the last to enter the room, a large smile on his face. “Alright, alright. Time to open presents. I can’t wait to see what you all managed to get me this year. I promise to not openly act like I hate it, even though deep down I definitely will.” 

Everyone snickers at his words as they get ready to start and almost an hour later, it comes down to you. All eyes shift their focus on your smiling face. 

You stick the box out to Tony. “For you,” you say, suddenly nervous about what he will think. 

He grabs the gift curiously and shakes it. “Please don’t tell me it’s fragile.” 

You laugh. “Well, you already shook it, so I’m relieved to say no.”

His shoulders visibly relax and then he carefully rips off the wrapping, taking his time to prevent destroying whatever is underneath. 

“Thor, grab me those scissors over there.” 

After Thor hands them over, Tony slices into the box until it opens. When he notices it’s a pile of paper, he looks up at you. “What’s this?”

You nod toward the box. “Just read it.” 

Tony scrunches his eyebrows as he pulls out the paper and stares at it. Two minutes go by of pure silence. Tony’s still staring at the paper, his mouth slightly open in shock. 

“Tony?” you ask, anxious that he hasn’t said a word yet. 

When he finally looks back up at you, he has tears in his eyes. “You want me to adopt you?” 

Everyone around you gasps and you nod your head, your own tears threatening to fall. “For the past few months, you’ve done nothing but care for me. You’ve treated me more like a father than my real dad ever has... But, don’t feel pressured or anything!” 

Tony snorts. “Don’t feel pressured.” He opens up his arms. “Come here.” You walk up to him and let him bring you closer for a hug. He rests his head on top of yours and sighs. “Remember when we went to Germany to find that plant?” 

You nod. 

“Well, when you asked why I was nervous about you going on a real mission and I said I feel like I need to protect you, it’s because I’ve always looked at you as my daughter. Even if it wasn’t spoken out loud, you’ve always been my daughter. And, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re always safe. So yes, I’ll sign these papers and we can make it official.” 

The both of you silently cry in each other’s arms before he pulls away from you. “Now, go back to your seat. I can’t have anyone else here thinking I actually have a heart.” 

He winks to alert you he’s joking and you laugh before shuffling back to your spot. 

From here on out, Christmas will always have a special place in your heart.

[fairycosmos]

help i turn 21 this weekend,, any advice? idk how ppl behave at bars or like what drinks ppl order, i'm supposed to go out w my friends & they wanna go to all these different bars and i'm nervous. like i've been drinking since i was 15 but idk how to act

hii omg happy early birthday <3 i think there's a few general things to keep in mind but there's no rule book on "how to act" really. first things first - don't go anywhere alone, stick with ur friends even to go to the bathroom. always cover ur drink with ur hand, don't accept drugs from strangers, and dont take men seriously. try to share a taxi home and if there's any part of the journey where you are alone, call a friend until you get back safe. oh and make sure u book ur taxi and don't just get in a random one you see on the street. drink in moderation so you can keep ur wits about you, my friend always gets water periodically to stay hydrated thru the night, helps her hangovers a ton. stay away from any bar fights or anything that looks shady/hostile. you'll probably meet a lot of random ppl and be best friends with them for a moment and then never see them again, that's normal. you might say some things that you cringe at the next day. that’s normal too and everyone will have forgotten, the alcohol just makes it feel  severely embarrassing for no reason. just stay in well lit areas with people you know and let yourself have fun. also never leave ur bag or belongings anywhere and bring them with you everywhere -- obviously, i guess lol.

ok other than that i would say you've really got nothing to worry about, though i understand the nervousness and i think it's normal. the anxiousness will definitely be worse than the actual night out btw im soo serious. it's just the build up to the unknown that's freaking you out, and once it's over you'll realize that it was all so much more casual than you were expecting. nobody is looking at you as much as you think they are and everyone is usually too drunk to care much about scrutinizing anyone. theyre all focused on themselves and their own things, their own lives. you'll probably have a lot of fun. it's just like seeing your mates in any other setting but this time ur trying out fun new drinks and listening to club tunes and having a laugh. know that you can cut the night short and go home whenever you want, if for some reason you're not vibing with it - it's ur birthday after all. know that you don’t have to dance, or drink a ton, or do or say anything you don’t want to do or say. and if you're not having a good time, then you're not missing out if you leave, so no worries about fomo. honestly, there's no wrong way to be. just stick with the ppl you trust and try to keep to have a safe, light-hearted night. when i get overwhelmed, the bathrooms and the smoking area are my sanctuaries where i can just breathe, i rly recommend that too. if you end up not liking it at all, then at least you can say you gave it a try and it's just not ur scene. that's fine, too. hope you have the best night ok!! ❤️ stay safe!! ❤️

* on what drinks to order - it’s rly up to personal taste lol my go-to is always a vodka coke but if ur looking for something that tastes nice any fruity cocktail is a safe bet! u could also just get whatever ur friends get if you really don’t know where to start :)

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Girls just wanna have fun

summary: the girls and you take over the first set of the guys concert for fun and as a joke, but you guys are really good which makes fans go crazy with how real you all sound like a real band.

Setlist: Babylon, Valentine, Ghost of you, No shame,Wildflower.

a/n: this is a 12 in the morning idea lol, thought it would be really cool to write this and of course the reader spends time with calum practicing the bass haha. I thought it would be cute for all the guys to see their girls in different settings.

a/n: august 2nd, fuck it i’m posting it lol

“this might sound silly, but it sounds like a good idea too.” michael said as cal spoke up, “out with it then clifford.” he said as you all giggled very interested in what he had in mind for the guys, or well for you ladies, but you didn't know that.

“What if our ladies do the first set of our concert?” he said as Crystal spoke, “Wait actually?” she said as you and the girls raised your eyebrows looking at one another while the guys were actually considering it. “that would be a fun idea actually.” Luke spoke as Sierra laughed, “you really think fans would enjoy that? not saying that we're bad entertainers.” she said as you giggled and everyone continued to elaborate.

“it would be fun seeing the fans reactions when they are expecting us.'' Ash said as he also mentioned how the fans all enjoyed the time they switched instruments, from the guys' view the fans loved it. “Besides the fans always ask about you guys it would be a fun way for them to see you all together.” Michael said as kaykay spoke,“okay if we were to do it, when would we do it cus if we're actually playing and singing we need to practice.” kay kay said as you nodded, “i agree with that,” you said as cal looked over at you with a smile, “wait your actually considering it?” he asked as you nodded with a giggle, “i mean it could be fun and we are all going,” you shrugged as all the everyone nodded. Cal knew you were a pretty nervous person so he didn't want you to feel pressure at all, since you two also had just announced that you were dating for a while now. But it would be a nice way to get the fans to know you too since they know the other girls very well. After planning rehearsal time, the set list, and the final date you were pretty much prepared, you just had to dread the planning time on your half.

You were only doing one of the main 5 songs that fans enjoyed a lot when the guys sang, so it was pretty easy going for all of you to do the main one, since a whole set was pretty intimidating especially to you, but 5 songs wasn't that bad. Of course the girls and you had some sort of experience with playing their instruments, since quarantine. You had told all the girls on facetime what you were up to, and they had been doing the same as you.

“So what have you been up to y/n?” sierra asked as you held your finger up and moved the camera to the bass, “this is so weird, but i've been playing the bass with cal, since you know we're pretty much stuck here, i thought it would be cool to learn.” you said as kaykay gasped, “no way! So have I but with the drums, Ash has been teaching me a little, it's so fun!” she said as you gave you a virtual high five, “This is so weird that you guys are mentioning this, but Luke has been teaching me too, its so weird, he came up to me with his guitar and he was like ‘let's have a jam session’ and i got the hang of the piano and the guitar.” sierra said as crystal spoke up and you thought it was so uncanny, but i mean it was pretty practical that you would all be learning how to play the guy’s instruments.

“I think they planned this because Michaels been teaching me how to play as well..” she said as you were all laughing and then Sierra spoke, “I think I see a band about to be immense,” she said as you all continued your conversations.

You all had been practicing for a while so you had some skill. Of course then you hadn't thought anything about that, but you kinda thanked cal for teaching you a little bit, since now you were going to do it live as a joke, but you were actually going to play and sing.

Though practice was enough for you guys to be prepared you also had to rehearse together to see how you all sound with one another. The singing part was easy for all of you since you guys would always sing. The boys had no doubts, they knew you would vocally sound good, but you girls already knew that since you had gone to a vocal coach and she even loved your vocals all together. She had even told you guys you were all able to make it as stars, but I mean you were only doing it one time for fun.  As you all arrived to rehearsal you and girls had even dressed up like the boys, you thought it would be fun because you guys were also doing some video diaries for fun for fans to see the behind the scenes. When the cameras started rolling and the guys did the intro before the cameras were on you as the guys would watch.

“Did you guys dress up as us?” Luke asked as Sierra nodded, “holy shit i just realized that,” michael said and you started laughing how identical she dressed up as look and also michaels reaction, “for promo purposes we had to, also that screams Luke, sierra looks way better luke im sorry,” kaykay sneered as luke began to sniff and fake cry and you giggled from what she said in the beginning, Crystal then added, “okay, but have you seen y/n, she literally has everything on point.” she giggled as you stood up showing your outfit, “yeah, it's not that hard when you can sneak into his closet, just that the pants were a little big, so i bought my own.” you giggled as you all were explaining your outfit, “did cal not notice?” ash asked as you shrugged which was when cal had walked in, “noticed what? Love did you go through my closet?” Cal asked as you all just started laughing at how he had just noticed you were all dressed up very similar.

“But also, kaykay, is very on point as you can see, with the bandana, the loose tank and of course the sticks.” you said as kaykay and you hugged one another like cal and ash would.

After the various jokes you had started to rehearse and the only thing to say was that you were all so identical to them, but before that the talented just screams out of you. You all were so good the guys were looking at the cameras worried, “i think we might be out of a job soon,” cal joked as luke nodded and the guys were laughing, “they are actually really good like actually,” ash said as he was clapping and whooping as the other boys followed. Cal and the guys even had his flashlight on when you were singing Ghost of you.

“Dude, they are so good, they have been planning this haven't they?” Michael said as you were done with the set completely, you all were confident that you were gonna kick ass that night. Even if this was just a prank set, you were all actually really good, like really.

Cal was so proud of you, that all the practice you two had done was good for you, he was hoping you would actually even consider doing more music stuff. The boys were all proud of you guys and of course their ladies, they all had agreed as well that you guys have so much talent, but they knew this life wasn't for you guys, since separation would be much bigger, unless you toured together….but i'm getting ahead of myself.

Once you all hit the tour bus and were on your way to the first concert of the tour, you girls were actually playing tonight, you weren't as nervous as you thought you were, but at the same time you were a nervous wreck. You and Cal were cuddled up in your bunk as you were watching a movie, “are you nervous for tonight?” he asked as you giggled a little, “i mean yeah kinda, but that's normal right?” you asked as he nodded, “yeah it is, and besides you guys are really good, like actually, all that practice is going to be worth it.” he said as you nodded and he had his arms over your body. He loves how involved you are with his life and his career, and how supportive you are. You were always there for him and he will always be there for you too, even if this was a little way to entertain the fans and make a funny thing out of it.

As you arrived at the venue, you were getting excited as you and the girls had stayed in your dressing rooms getting ready while the boys were doing sound checks and greeting fans with VIP passes. You were still doing video diaries so you were all pretty chill and relaxed once you arrived at the dressing room and started to change and get prepared.

“Okay, so right now the guys are currently doing their thing while we change, and get into character, so uh..yeah.” you giggle as you all do your thing while the cameras are rolling and trying to catch small moments of you all. “Are you guys nervous?” the guy behind the camera asked as you all prused your lips, “uh not really, we all rehearsed and practiced i think we'll be great,” kay kay said as you giggled, “okay but we actually sound like a band when you say that.” you giggled as Sierra and Crystal nodded.

You all were getting into your guy’s signature clothing when it came to doing live performances and the end result is so uncanny. You were getting into the signature skater pants and black top with some vans. You had curled your hair slightly a lot like cal’s when it's curly wanting to have some of your hair out of your face. Sierra had worn the yellow silk shirt with classic leather black pants and a pair of boots, an outfit that fans loved, and Sierra killed it in that shirt. Crystal had worn a jean jacket with black pants with some boots, which you could say, SHE KILLED IT. Kaykay had gone with a red button up and some skinny jeans with some boots and let me tell you SHE ALSO KILLED ITTTTT. You all had killed it, it was perfect. You occasionally threw in the “i have no idea what we are doing?” for the video because you knew that had to be in there and the girls all laughed when you did it.

When you all got in for a picture together you literally posed like the guys and you were all getting quite excited for what's about to come. Minutes had passed by and the guys had come in and they were all kinda surprised with your outfits and they were slightly impressed, “hey, you look really good by the way good luck out there.” Calum said as he walked over to you with a hug as you hugged him back, giving him a kiss. Everyone was greeting their partner giving the last minute good luck before you left. You had recorded more stuff for the video diaries, of course you all were listening to Nickleback before going on the stage and you now understood how this helped with the nerves.

You then were all getting suited up as kay kay had walked out on stage while the lights were off and started playing some beats before you all went on. From what you guys could hear the fans were going crazy, this was going to be one fun night. The boys had headed up to the very front to see the show.  you and sierra created one of the most funniest moments in the diaries, “y/n, we should do the acoustic set moment!” sierra said as you giggled and nodded, “oh my gosh yes!” you said as the cameras were rolling and kay kay was still entertaining the fans out there, “..wait what are we doing? Are we gonna..?” sierra said as you looked back at her trying not to break character, “i think its an acoustic set.” you said as she walked over to you confused, “an acoustic set?....IT SOUNDS A BIT LOUD FOR AN ACOUSTIC SET Y/N!” she said as you just laughed not knowing what to do, that's when the backstage team had signaled you to all get out there running out and playing your chords for the intro as the fans at first were confused but when they noticed it was you girlies, they all began to scream and there was no end to the cheering. You looked over to the camera and looked over and said, “i still have no idea what we are doing.” you screamed as the fans were still cheering and you were so overwhelmed and excited, “fuck it” you screamed.

Then beat to Babylon had started and the fans went nuts as you were all playing as if you were a literal band, the fans cheering didn't stop until you started singing and they sang along with you. From the audience the boys were all cheering for you and none of the fans had even noticed they were there, that's how realistic this looked.

“Burn too bright, now the fire's gone, watch it all fall down!” you sang as the fans cheered you all and you began to giggle a little, you were able to even hear the guys cheering.

“So, holy cow, i don't know how the guys do this, but this is tiring, you gotta hand it to them.” Sierra said out of breath as you took a small break but made sure to hurry it up, “yeah they are pretty good at this, crystal, kay kay? How are you guys doing?” you asked as kaykay responded, “honestly great, i mean i get to sit down for most of this, but these girls are killing it.” she said as the fans cheered and all you could really do is giggled. “What about your crystal?” Sierra asked, “I'm doing fine, lots of head banging but it's there,” she said as you all laughed.

Then the beat to valentine had started and the fans were going crazy again, this was so new to you, all of you, you all liked this feeling, it was something you all had never got to feel, and it was one of those “i want to see what its” like moments, and you all enjoyed it. Whenever one of you would stop singing the fans continued on with the lyrics, which made you happy. You were all happy they are enjoying you guys.

“Valentine, valentine, valentine..” all of you sang as the beat continued to ghost of you, and yet again the fans screamed once again. Sierra started it off as the fans sang along waiting for your line, which from instagram you heard that it was one of their favorites because of the way cal would sing it, so yes you studied a little for this, “cleaning up today, i found that old zeppelin shirt, you wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt, too young, too dumb, to know things like love, i know better now, better now.” you said as fans yelled waiting for the part where you all sang, “Dancing through our house with the ghost of you” you sang as fans were cheering on.

You then took a small break before heading onto the next 2 songs, “you guys are such a good audience we really thought you wouldn't like us.” Sierra laughed as you laughed, nodding as the fans yelled no. you saw a fan had yelled a question, “wheres duke?” she said very quietly but you heard her, “ did you ask where duke is?” you asked as you looked at the fan who asked and she nodded which made the girls laugh seeing you interact with the fans. “Duke's home with one of our friends I believe,” you spoke as all awed.

Then the beat to no shame had started and you were so excited for this one, it was your favorite song on the new album, “so we're gonna do like 2 more songs on the new album just for you guys.” you spoke as the cheered and sierra had started it, and for this one you didn't do much singing since in this one luke is the only one sining but there was also some added harmonies, but not much.

Sierra had killed this song completely shocking Luke, he had heard you guys sing this so many times, but hearing it live with fans singing it made it sound so good. You and Sierra had been the ones who took one for the team and sang one of their solos. You two didn't really mind and kay kay and crystal were not really up for it, but they had both said you two should do it and well here you were, no backing out now.

“Got no shame. I love the way you're screaming my name” she sang as the fans went wild and the beat to wildflower had started and you were getting ready to sing, “this is the last song we can sing for you guys, it's called wildflower, and out lovely y/n will be taking the lead here.'' Sierra said as the crowd went wild and you just smiled looking over at Cal who was just so proud, like we said before even if this was for a small joke, the talent you all carried was surreal. Seeing you sing this song made him feel many emotions, you were kinda hot singing this. All the boys thought their girls were hot right now, they had no idea how they were gonna continue the show with all these feelings they had that just wanted to come out.

“You're the only one who makes me. Every time we. Tell you what I like. My wildflower!” you sang finally as kaykay ended with the drums and you all had gone in the middle and bowed getting lots of cheering.

“That's all we have today fro you all, thanks for your cheering this was actually awesome.” Sierra said as you all nodded and you all left the stage as they were all cheering. Once you were all off you all got into a group hug and just celebrated this. You all enjoyed yourselves up there and honestly you were all down to do it again, but you were all happy with being able to do it once.

Before leaving to go see the guys, you had recreated a couple more of the diaries moments,

“Kaykay, my best friend, gonna be friends till the very end. Kaykay my best friend gonna be friends til the very end. Take it to the.. I love this gal, so damn much, i love this gal.” you said attempting to do the same movements as cal. As kaykay had kept playing the guitar and sierra walked up to you, “y/n my best friend, me and her until the very end, kaykay, is **********, i hate you so ******* much.'' Sierra said as you all continued to laugh, not being able to believe that you did this without laughing. You then all had gone down as well to see them and give them your support. Lucky fans didn't recognize you and you were able to enjoy the show.

After the show you all had headed to a hotel tired but full on energy at the same time. You had all gotten separate rooms to celebrate alone with your s/o the success of the beginning of the show and the start of the tour. The boys were definitely were wanting to see you guys preform again.

This is like some of the reactions fans would have.

@5SOSUPDATES:

THE FACT THAT THEY DRESSED EXACTLY LIKE THE GUYS IS SO CUTE.

@CALM5SOS:

So who wants to talk about how the girls took over the first set?!?!?

@Lukstannings:

Okay but Sierra was rocking the yellow silk button up.

@mikeycliffordstan:

NO ONE TOLD ME THEY CAN SING

@ghostofyou5sos:

NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT HOW Y/N LITERALLY SANG CAL’S PART IN GHOST OF YOU THE SAME WAY HE DID.

@5SOSWILDFLOWER:

SIERRA SINGING NO SHAME AND Y/N SINGING WILDFLOWER IS LITERALLY ALL I NEED TO LIVE.

@c-swizzle:

Y/n’s spot on, her hair, her bass playing, she is literally calum in the making.

@cliffordhemmings:

Kaykay on the drums, is literally a dream of mine and it came true.

@y/nkaysierracrystalstan

They need to be a band idc what you say, you can't change my mind.

@5sosashsupdates:

Kaykay and Ashton are a couple goals.

@5sosmichealupdates:

Crystal wore michaels jean jacket. This is everything I need.

@ashiriwinsstan:

PLEASE THEY LITERALLY RECREATED SO MANY MOMENTS FROM THE DIARIES

@5SOS:

Looks like our ladies took over yesterday on the first set, might need to happen more often.

[jaeqtstuff]

― 𝑔𝒽𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊

words count: 1.7k

playlist: ghost by justin bieber (recommend to listen to it while reading, just to get the feels because im suck at angst lol)

pls note that english is not my first language. but i had fun writing this so i hope you too! xx

[10:15pm] after escaping the most boring blind date that your friend set you up with, you came across the usual late night bar that you used to go during your days with beomgyu. yeah, your famous ex among your peers.

everybody knows how in love, how insanely perfect the two of you were for a love story but that was during high school. college was a whole different story. it suddenly becomes so toxic that it drained both of you. waking up every morning was a burden to the point you can't even breath in each other presence. you didn't know what went wrong, neither did he but as years passed, it was all because of childish reason. the most hurtful thing about this one is, you knew it could be saved but you didn't do anything. and neither did he.

"whiskey on the rocks." you choose to sit far from others, wanting more privacy. the bartender seems to recognise you by the way his mouth formed a big smile as if he was welcoming a friend. you smiled back, nonetheless.

let's just call it off. it's better this way. i mean can you do this everyday? doesn't this itch you?

you shut you eyes close as you slowly savouring every drops of it. why does it taste bitter? it shouldn't taste like this. i should've just go home.

fucking sick of it. fucking sick of everything and just piss off. don't you get tired of me? honestly i am. so get lost from my fucking sight.

the more you sip, the bitter it got. you didn't enjoy it. maybe that's the reason why some people avoid old places but you were there, drinking alone in the most romantic set up you could ever imagine for a late night bar, the low dimmed lights and slow soul music playing in the background and not to mention all the couple around you. you hate it so much but you can't deny the obvious fact that you missed it. you miss how this place used to caress you with memories you still keep in the deepest part of your heart.

"do people still come over to sing?" you casually asked the bartender as he slips your second drink. you remember how beomgyu used to say that he will sing at the small stage and dedicate a song for you infront of everyone in the bar but he never did.

"well yes. in fact, we're preparing for one." he replied, with much excitement at you. you look passed your shoulders, eyes fixed to the small stage at the corner. they were getting ready with the mic and there was single stool with a guitar at the side.

"he's a good singer." the bartender commented as he was wiping all the utensils he had used just now with a clean cloth. "really?" you look away from the stage and bring your glass close to the mouth. without wasting much, you gulped down the rest of the drink in one go before taking out your purse to pay. you could hear the soft melody of guitar playing at the back but you were more focus with the text displayed on your home screen. "it's weekend. leave me the fuck alone." you hissed under your breath.

Youngblood thinks there's always tomorrow

I miss your touch on nights when I'm hollow

I know you crossed a bridge that I can't follow

Since the love that you left is all that I get

I want you to know that if I can't be close to you

I settle for the ghost of you

I miss you more than life

you shut the phone away and bring the card out to pay. you waited for the bartender to notice you but you were now interested with the song. your head unknowingly move with the beat, fingers tapping slowly on your bare legs. the lights on the stage were too dimmed and you couldn't see well who was the one singing but his voice was causing a whole war flashback in your head.

And if you can't be next to me

Your memory is ecstasy

I miss you more than life

I miss you more than life

you never knew a song could break you so much, not when you least expected it but the one singing was also not helping the situation any better. he was singing his heart out, as if he was the one writing the lyrics from some kind of painful experience he ever had in his life. anyone in the bar could say the same thing.

Youngblood thinks there's always tomorrow

I need more time but time can't be borrowed

I'd leave it all behind if I could follow

Since the love that you left is all that I get

I want you to know that if I can't be close to you

the more you listen, the more your heart ached. all these years, you thought you moved on from him. you can finally accept the fact that you can live without him by your side. in those years, it's a lie if you say you never thought of him during those drunken nights with your friends. but tonight was brutal. you could relate to the lyrics so much that you had trouble holding yourself back from any breakdown that would cost you every time you said you were good without him.

I'll settle for the ghost of you

I miss you more than life, yeah

you were never good.

And if you can't be next to me

Your memory is ecstasy (oh)

I miss you more than life

I miss you more than life

you were never calm after both of you called it off. you forced yourself to drink every night so that you can sleep without thinking of him but the terrible headaches every morning was torture. the moment you get up, he was all over in your head. you remember how you wanted to run back to him every night, tell him to forget all the bad pieces and just start new but by looking at the sight of it, it would make you throw up. you definitely knew it will make things worse.

you looked at the stage, still trying to see who was the one singing. heart still hurting but deep down, you were expecting something out of wicked love story. the tears building up in your eyes were not helping as your visions got blurry from the lyrics. blinking the tears away, you were nervous to look back to the stage again.

So if I can't get close to you

I'll settle for the ghost of you

But I miss you more than life

And if you can't be next to me

Your memory is ecstasy

you breathed in deeply, struggling to gain your composure. nonetheless, the shaky eyes went back to the stage where suddenly, the lights around the stage were slowly looking brighter. you could clearly see how he was playing the guitar effortlessly with his eyes closed. the expression on his face was tormentingly raw or maybe it was just your eyes telling the lies to the mind, telling you that he was also in much pain just like you were. one thing for sure, you eyes couldn't lie the one infront of you.

I miss you more than life

I miss you more than life

how can you forget his voice? you gasped for air, breathed in every sharp air you could get because you knew, the night will only get worse, will only wreck you even more than it did before. you could never get better from it.

the people around you start clapping, telling you that he was done singing on the stage. you could hear the soft giggle from the mic before the countless thank you from him. you carefully eyed him at the stage before taking out the cash from your purse, putting the card back inside. you couldn't be bothered about the points because the last thing you want was beomgyu seeing you in this helpless state. smudge eyeliner and mascara because of the tears and also the short lacy black dress you were wearing. it was too obvious.

so you left without looking back. and oh boy, the moment the cold air hit your face, you couldn't hold back the tears. no, you were weeping, sobbing, almost throwing up on the side road. walking to home will be hard but you were quick to stop a cab.

thank god the tears stop the moment you were in the cab. the warm seat kinda cool you down a bit but your heart was eager. you didn't stop there and pulled out the phone from your back. eventhough you didn't contact each other, you knew where to find him and in those nights like this, you always check on him. last time you did was two years ago and maybe it should just stay unchecked.

the moment it hits you, there i knew i am still holding on to the past just like how i always did. and perhaps it's because you are always there. not leaving me nor forget about me. i will just settle like this, holding on to that life i miss most. ― 15 minutes ago

wish you can stay longer so that this night would not be lonely again but it's not what i thought it is. i'm sorry. ― 2 minutes ago

you lost at the last words and now fighting your own mind, telling the cab to turn around but you couldn't get the words out from your mouth. you knew beomgyu saw you, he probably saw you in that bar. sitting alone at the furthest table from the rest. he probably saw how you were struggling in your seat, looking so pathetic in that dress.

he was right. beomgyu was right.

this night will only get lonelier. if only you stayed, maybe things could change but you knew, it can only work if both of you wanted it. he had his chance but he didn't use it. in between those tears, you laugh it off, thinking how stupid could you be with just simple words like 'i'm sorry', you were ready to throw yourself again to the deepest pit of hell with him.

choi beomgyu,

the only man who wreck you this much. the only man who can prove to you that there will be no other lover like him.

"choi beomgyu."

[i-luvsang]

wayv reaction to bella biting their crush

request: anonnie requested “wayv reaction where they take you to the dorm for the first time (you like each other but don't date yet) and bella (their dog) doesn't like you and bites you hard genre: crack, fluff, maybe angst?? lol summary: y’all already know lmao warnings: mentions of blood, dogs biting people a/n: thank you for requesting! i hope i did okay, i don’t know all of the wayv members as well as dream. enjoy! also i believe that this is my 300th post! wow that’s a lot lol <3333

➳ kun

is absolutely mortified

he was a little anxious about bringing you to the dorms for the first time

like who wouldn’t when luhenyang are there (it’s a joke don’t hurt me XD)

but man that wasn’t what he expected

you try to pet bella because why would you not she’s so cute

and she’s kinda just like *chomp*

and kun is just 😳

scolds bella and gets really worried about you and doting on you

the mom in him comes out *no surprise there of course*

but yeah just takes very good care of you

doesn’t stop apologizing

tries to hide how embarrassed he is

➳ ten

is kinda just like shrfkjsdfkfksnskjdhshfsjd oOPS

again, was not expecting that

was quite surprised and can’t figure why bella doesn’t like you

cuz like you’re so lovable how could she not just adore you

feels so bad

was initially really excited to bring you to the dorm

but now he’s like

with all the chaos that ensues here and tHAT no thank you sir

he just wanted to have a nice time

but now he has a naughty dog and a bleeding crush on his hands

obviously is very sweet to you

also doesn’t stop apologizing

is very visibly flustered but he actually gets over it fairly quickly and is able to have a really great time with you

➳ winwin

OwO

is very sad that bella doesn’t like you

and is terrified that you now hate him because she bit you

very flustered

again, he just can’t stop apologizing

babe doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to do but tries hard to take care of you

gets you a band-aid and makes sure that bella is never in the same room as you two

really hopes that you still have a good time

swears to never bring you to the dorm again

but you keep coming back anyways because at least the cats like you

and you love the cats

feels so bad every time you try to make bella like you T^T

➳ lucas

was really hoping to have a fun time with you

his life flashes before his eyes when she bites you

O-O

stands in shock for a seconds, his eyes flicking between the growling bella and the bleeding you

jumps into action quickly tho, putting bella in another room and grabbing a band-aid for your hand

is very disappointed in bella as one of her dads

(not really disappointed just sad because he really loves bella and has told you so many times about how much you’d love bella too)

remembers all the times that he told you that bella would absolutely adore you

and now he’s contemplating all of this life choices that led up to this

➳ xiaojun

we all know that xiaojun is bella’s mom

and he loves you both so much and was so excited for the two of you to meet

was already nervous to bring you to the dorm

but was really looking forward to having a good time with you

and man this was not what he was expecting to go wrong

like bella is usually so sweet and kinda just sleeps and eats

she’s a very tolerant dog like she lives with those seven men

bUT FOR SOME REASON SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU AND NOW XIAOJUN IS SAD

he keeps apologizing

keeps wondering where it all went wrong

tries very hard to make sure the rest of the day goes well though

➳ hendery

screams in normal hendery fashion

gets a band-aid for you first

but then he makes a huge show of scolding bella in front of everyone

screams about how xiaojun and lucas raised her wrong

like how could bella not adore you i mean you’re so incredible

doesn’t realize that he kinda just starts ranting about how much he likes you

like your face is so hot that you don’t even remember why hendery was yelling about this in the first place

suddenly he realizes that he was kinda just shouting about his crush on you without actually saying it

stops talking mid-sentence

0.0

at least he distracted you from your new bite wound :]

➳ yangyang

i see this going two ways

either he freaks out

like he has no idea what to do and he just gets so flustered

he’s just all over the place

like ‘nO BELLA DON’T DO THAT” *tries get bella out*

remembers that you’re still there and (gently) drops bella halfway there and is like “wAIT oMG ARE YOU OKAY IM SO SORRY”

oR

he’s just the embodiment of smh

just

the disappointment on his face is almost (definitely) comical

is kinda like ‘wELp i expected the worst anyways, i guess i should deal with this” :|

[dl4draws]

okay so here is my little bullet point story for the httyd au lol, hope you guys like it

love amongst the dragons

this is a zuko centered au but the story actually begins with how sokka got foof

sokka and hiccup are one no one can change my mind

the swt hunts dragons because dragons hunt them, same thing as httyd

so basically the httyd storyline isn’t zuko’s story but sokka’s

he shoots foof (sprinkle of saber tooth moose lion mixed with night fury, mostly changing the size and teeth – foof would look almost exactly the same as toothless but is taller, has bigger legs, is bigger in general and well the saber tooth of course – also night furies aren’t extinct!)), not because he cant actually participate in the hunting, he’s perfectly allowed, but he creates these machines and people are like just use a spear like the rest of us lol

he shoots the saber tooth night fury down and no one believes him so he’s like “okay fuck it im gonna go find it”

he does indeed find him, foof is too cute, sokka instantly loses the battle, he doesn’t wanna fight dragons anyway

he keeps foof a secret until katara one day sees sokka sneaking away while she’s practicing water bending (the war doesn’t exist, there’s just problems in the fire nation – so the SWT is full of people)

katara is like sokka what the fuck are you doing

sokka cant lie to katara, he can charm anyone else but not katara,, sisters are charm proof

anyways events of httyd proceed to happen

sokka learns how to fly, learns stuff in general about dragons

katara is kinda like the astrid but she’s like confused at the beginning bc sokka’s getting too good at handling dragons and she’s sus

they both get good with dragons after that

until they find another dragon when they were flying around

a Very Large tm dragon

basically a water dragon, inspired by the unagi but from the south pole, it can leave the water but it prefers to live in the deep ocean

katara loves her, she starts “practicing” water bending at a special spot so one can find her, only sokka and her know where it is since they found it while flying

blah blah blah the swt proceeds to have a happy ending and everyone gets a dragon

the swt starts a life with dragons this time and they believe they are the only ones doing this (aside from the air nomads) (there is no war so aang is born 100 years later)

BACK TO ZUZU

Crown prince zuko and soon to be chief of the swt sokka are penpals, they’ve met eachother once or twice, sokka never tells him about the dragons

The fire nation has few dragons left

The fn is the birthplace of all dragons, but they have very little dragons now, they hunt them for fun

It is a ritual for the crown prince to kill a dragon and bring to the palace its heart

ozai is aware that there’s only one dragon left in their territory and the last dragon nest is weeks away

he sends zuko anyway and zuko goes, but he really doesn’t want to kill a dragon

he finds one, he goes through all that same stuff sokka (hiccup) went through with “he looked just as scared as I was” so he lets the dragon free, the dragon isn’t hurt so he can fly away but he doesn’t

he knows zuko won’t do anything to harm him so he stays with him

zuko doesn’t know wtf to do so he does what he knows always sets him in the right direction

he writes sokka a letter and tells him exactly what happens, about the dragon (his name is druk obviously) and how he doesn’t have any idea about what to do, he hopes sokka can reply as soon as possible and if he has time he can come to the fn and help him, he’s an engineer right? He can help him build stuff for druk, right??

He sends the hawk with the letter, knowing it’ll reach sokka in about week, since he’s farther south right now, so he expects sokka’s answer in two weeks

He most definitely is not expecting sokka to get there a week later riding a dragon the color of the night sky, you’d think the dragon was black if it wasn’t standing under the sunlight

Zuko hasn’t seen sokka in a few years, so he’s not exactly the same as he was back when they were still 19 (they’re 21 and 22 now)

Sokka isn’t expecting to see zuko with a supposedly extinct dragon when he gets there tho

He’s fascinated by druk (also zuko looks very pretty)

Sokka teaches zuko everything he knows about dragons, how to fly them, how to treat them, everything (they’re like little dates but they don’t mention that, they’re buddies tm)

Zuko comes back to the fn and he finds out that ozai is planning to wipe out the last nest, so zuko tries to stop him

And ozai lashes out so druk appears to protect him, and ozai is like oh bitch you’ve done it now and his little army is about to attack both zuko and druk when sokka and foof (both were hiding there in the palace) do a sneak attack and get them both out

Azula sees all of this from the shadows (this is important)

Zuko and sokka grab some stuff and leave the fn

They fly to the swt, zuko’s nervous about ozai’s plan but sokka knows that once they get home and set up a plan he’ll be okay

Once zuko lays eyes on the swt he goes holy fucking agni and sokka laughs so hard he almost falls off foof

The swt is built to house dragons and such, it really is a sight to see

They make a plan and basically go all out, the swt and the air nomads are good buddies, so aang is there with his cloud jumper (appa!!!!! Flying bisons exist but they’re like very important to the air nomads and people don’t ride them, they just vibe)

Aang is the avatar, so he has a deep connection with alpha dragons (the bewilderbeast)

They all make a plan, and they start flying to the fn, katara takes her big ass unagi like dragon, but she goes underwater with aang following her from the skies (they’re trying to find an alpha to ask for help)

They get to the nest before the troops, and stand their ground

It seems like they’re about to lose when katara appears with her dragon, the cloud jumper and aang in the avatar state on top of an alpha

The battle ends quickly after that and zuko and sokka are like !!! we did it and they share a sweet little kiss bc I say so (currently listening to coming back around and it’s making me emotional)

Azula appears after all this in sokka’s room (he’s staying at the fn palace for a bit to help the fn get adjusted to the new dragon rules) sokka hasn’t gotten the chance to talk to azula much, but he knows she isn’t opposed to dragons (or that is what it looks like)

His answer comes in the form of azula actually asking him for help, because she’s been hiding two dragon eggs for about two years

Sokka’s like!!!!!!!!!! Yes I can help!!!

She takes him to the eggs and he realizes that he hasn’t seen those types of eggs before but the coloring of the egg indicates that they are fire nation born dragons (they’re bright orange at the top and dark red at the bottom)

He asks if she found them near a volcano and azula’s like, hm yes but are you aware this palace is IN a volcano, and sokka’s like oh yeah right, and he tells her those are most likely dragons that live inside volcanoes and they like extremely hot temperatures so she should keep them near lava or with constant heat

Azula takes note of everything, and she starts going to sokka if she needs advice with her dragon eggs

Azula: how long until they hatch? Sokka: you gotta wait, depending on the dragon they can take from 2 to 5 years to hatch Azula: hm okay

Time passes, zukka dancing and singing to the dancing and the dreaming is all I need in life (will draw tomorrow)

Anyways yes sokka and zuko start living their best life riding their dragons under the moonlight and early in the mornings watching the sunset from between the clouds the end <3

[fbfh]

“forever” paxton hall-yoshida x reader

genre: fluffy romance + mutual pining (not too slowburn tho lol)

word count: 3.4k

au: none?? jock x theatre nerd ig

pairing: Paxton x broadway baby!reader 

requested: yes !! i hope u like it uwu

warnings: one hell one motherfucking and i think that’s it for swearing?? um brief self deprecating/talking bad abt urself from paxton (bby boy needs a self love boost), reader and paxton are home alone together for a little while but nothing bad happens, uh,,, i think that’s it

summary: when Eleanor can’t run lines with you, she sends over a very attractive, mutually pining substitute.

reccomended songs: “Seventeen” - Tuck everlasting OBC, “The Kiss” -The Princess Diaries score

a/n: i’m p sure i kept the reader p gender neutral but there’s implied slightly long hair, and you play the lead (a girl named winnie) in ur schools production of tuck everlasting but like it’s theatre so anyone can play anyone lol,, this took so got dam long bc i’m fucking s o f t for jock x artist and it just sorta happened lol aLsO,, not super thoroughly edited so there might be a typo or two?? im tired lol

requests r open <3

You had only ever seen two athletes present during rehearsals. Once when Madeline (who at the time was playing Penny in your production of Hairspray) was dating a guy from the soccer team. The other was when the star of the basketball team had come in to give your choreographer pointers for the basketball scenes during High School Musical. 

Until now.

You had run onstage part of the way through “Live Like This”, which wasn’t out of the ordinary since so much progress had been made on the costumes. You were still tying the ribbon on your pinafore as you jumped into the song, but when your eyes met a face in the usually empty auditorium, you faltered. You almost sang the wrong verse, but recovered quickly, continuing with the blocking. What felt like a moment later, the number was almost done and you were nearing the end of your counterpoint with Mae Tuck - played by Eleanor, of course. Who could be better for the part? You held out the last note, trying to stay in character despite all the distractions in the back of your mind. You had to talk to Eleanor when the director called for 10; she’d started telling you how Devi was being weird recently. Also, what the Hadestown was Paxton Hall-Yoshida doing chilling in the auditorium? You shoved all that away, focusing on staying in character until the director called for a break. 

‘I want to go to the fair. I want to go so badly! I just need a change, need to get out of this house for a little while. I never do anything, so this can’t be asking for too much, right?’ 

You projected all that into your everything - face, voice, mannerisms, energy.

“Hold!” 

Everyone froze.

The director wrote a few things on his paper, sighed, and underlined something several times. 

“Okay, good job! I need to revise some of the blocking, then we’ll do notes, so take ten.” Your sudden nerves had definitely made you pitchy, you knew that would be one of your notes for sure. 

A chorus of “Thank you ten”s erupted, and you immediately ran to Eleanor, telling the others good job as you passed. 

You leaned in and started speaking to her, quietly.

“Okay you need to finish telling me about Devi, and that other news you’re being so cryptic about! Also, what’s up with Fierro over there?” you nodded towards Paxton hoping he wouldn’t see, and you noticed Fab is sitting near him. You realized they’re probably waiting for Eleanor and/or Devi. That must be it, he’s been hanging out with them lately, right? Eleanor gasped.

“You’re right! Paxton is such a Fierro!”

You cringed inwardly a little bit as her voice carried through the auditorium, mixing with the others. Your eyes darted over to him for a fraction of a second. Oh god. He was looking at you. Or in your general direction at least. Lena, the costumer, walked around the set gingerly, following you around and getting you out of your dress incredibly carefully as you and Eleanor walked off stage. 

“No! Well, yes- but no. What’s he doing here? Jocks never come here during rehearsals. I saw Fab too, are you guys and Devi getting dinner or something?” You said, entering the auditorium, and stepping out of the dress. You grabbed sweatpants and a silky, floral kimono jacket from your bag to throw over your leotard and tights. She waved back at Fab before sitting down in the front. You both grabbed your fans and dramatically flicked them open in sync. Your wrists fluttered, cooling both of you off.  A knowing, and slightly mischievous, look came on her face. 

“Devi and Fab and I are. Paxton must be here for something… else.” she shrugged, nodding towards Paxton. You looked over again. He was staring at you. You did a double take and tried to hold back your smile. 

“Wh- I do not know to what you are referring.” 

“To what I am referring is the blush on his cheeks.”

You barely held back a nervous, bubbling laugh.

“He is not blushing! Why would he be blushing!”

“I don’t know,” She shrugged, “Just like how I don’t know that he’s been loitering in the halls outside the music room during your last three solo music rehearsals.”

You struggled for an answer. Before you could form one, you were interrupted.

“Okay, okay what is the best Lin Manuel Miranda musical? Because Kathryn thinks it’s Hamilton-” 

“Duh!”

“-But I think it’s In the Heights! It’s an underrated jewel!” Jonah interjected, still wearing his Jesse Tuck hat. 

You considered for a moment.

“I mean, they’re too different to compare. In the Heights has the same energy as Rent - showcasing what goes on in ordinary people’s lives, and how love ties us all together,” he nodded in agreement, “But Hamilton is on a way larger scale, almost Les Mis meets Fun Home vibes. But in terms of personal preference…” Eleanor scoffed at your answer, and Jonah went back to debate further with Kathryn.

“Anyway,” you turned back to Eleanor to ask her what the hell she meant by Paxton Hall-Yoshida was blushing. But before you could-

“Eleanor, we need you to try on your blue dress again,” Lena was already pulling her away, “I had the empire waist in the right place but half the pins fell out, and it’s just...” And she was whisked away before you could finish the thought. You just had time to help Holly get out her wig pins and drink some lemon water before notes. Eleanor still wasn’t back, so you made sure to write down hers for her. It was pretty standard; be quiet backstage, go over your lines, don’t touch props that aren’t yours, don’t eat in costume, and a couple blocking changes you made note of. After your end of rehearsal warm downs and huddle, everyone left relatively quickly. You ducked into the bathroom to freshen up a little. Sometimes it was hard coming down from such intense energy after rehearsal. You mentally ran through your to do list. You needed to get some more tea, write that essay when you got home, go over your notes- You gasped, cutting off your own train of thought. You ran out of the bathroom to look for Eleanor, still clutching her notes in hand. 

~

Your voice still echoed in Paxton’s ears. He wished he had a whole album of you singing. Your voice made him want to ruin his spotify algorithm by listening to nothing else. You had looked at him a couple times, and his heart had almost stopped. He didn’t know eye contact could be so intense. It’s probably just cause you’re like, the only person in the audience. Where else is she supposed to look? He deflated a little. He heard his name and looked over to you and Eleanor talking together. Hopefully it was about him. Hopefully it was good. He checked his phone, trying to look busy. When he glanced up to see if you were looking, you were gone. He started to look around for you when he saw Eleanor waving at Fab, and sure enough, you were next to her. What he didn’t expect was you dropping your dress to the ground. Time slowed down (and his heart sped up) as you stretched a little, and pulled out sweatpants from your bag.

Wow.

 You had on what looked like a bathing suit on underneath, and a few other people had done the same, but he knew that image would be in his memory, probably forever. His heart was beating in his ears and he knew he must be blushing.

“You okay, Paxton?” Fab asked, a seat or two away. Oh god, he didn’t want people asking why he blushed every time he looked at you! He muttered something about needing to make a call and headed for the doors. Don’t look back at her, don’t look back at her… His eyes involuntarily darted in your direction right before he left. You had on a flowy translucent jacket, your hair thrown back supermodel style as you fanned yourself to cool down. He needed to cool down too. Maybe a cold shower, a really cold shower.

~

You managed to find Eleanor just before she left. Two girls were with her, you had seen Fab once, and you’d heard a lot about Devi, but had never been introduced. 

You gave Eleanor her notes, and she hugged you.

“You’re a lifesaver!” 

“Of course, I-”

“Uh, who’s this?” you looked over, and the shorter girl - Devi, based on what you’d heard about her -  was giving you a weird look. You introduced yourself. 

“Nice to meet you. How do you know Eleanor?” said the taller girl - definitely Fab.

“Oh,” you smiled, “she’s my almost mother in law. And my arch rival,” you counted on your fingers, “my sister, my niece, my lover, my husband, and…” you trailed off, trying to think of the other dynamics your characters had had in past shows.

“Your co-conspirator.” 

“Right,” you laughed. Devi and Fab looked at you two.

“We’re in the musical together.” you clarified. You were about to part ways when you called to Eleanor, “Hey, we’re still on for running lines tomorrow night?” 

“Uh… Sounds good!” she walked away quickly, speaking to Devi and Fab in hushed tones. Something was definitely up. That was typical Eleanor Scheming behavior. 

~

That night, you almost couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t the normal post rehearsal can’t sleep. In fact, Tuck Everlasting was the last thing on your mind as you readjusted your pillows and snuggled into your duvet. You stared at the neon blue stars projected and swirling on your ceiling. You sighed. Again. Your brain was a 24/7 livestream of Paxton Hall-Yoshida to relax/study to. You saw him again, his face in the dimly lit auditorium, Adonis in a sea of faded seats. If you hadn’t been sure before, you knew now that red was definitely his color. You rolled onto your side. Your heart picked up speed as a thought crossed your mind. You could almost see Paxton now, kneeling next to you, his fingertips brushing your cheek. The piano underscore to “Seventeen” ran through your mind. You could imagine him saying “Wait with me, we could share the world…” so vividly it almost hurt. He leaned in, and… 

You let out a loud sigh and rolled over again. Your heart was fully saturated. That’s more than enough pining for tonight. 

~

“Paxton!” 

He was a little surprised when Eleanor just walked up to him at lunch the next day. Most people were too intimidated to approach him out of the blue. 

“I have a plan.”

“Uh, I don’t know what you-”

“Cut the crap, I know you like her.” 

His face blanched. Well, yeah of course he did. Who wouldn’t? He was going to ask Eleanor if there was something he could do to win you over, just not here, not now. Not where everyone could watch and jeer and rib him for it. Just like they were doing now. 

“Woah, dude, who is it?” Trent asked. He fumbled for words. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He hadn’t kept his crush a secret because he was embarrased of you, he’d kept it a secret because his dumbass friends wouldn’t get you. Hell, he barely got you. You were so deep, and emotive, and artistic... 

“Bro, if you like her as much as it seems like you do,” Trent continued, “you gotta win her over.” He was a little shocked at the agreement murmuring through his group of friends. He didn’t know how to respond. Trent turned to Eleanor.

“What’s the plan, drama mama?”

“First of all,” she said, an almost humorously dangerous look on her face, “never call me that again. Second,” she shoved some papers into Paxton’s hands, “meet me in the music room immediately after school.” She started back for her table. Trent looked back over to Paxton. 

“You gotta do it, dude. We’ll cover for you at swim.” 

The rest of his friends agreed. He was pleasantly surprised at how supportive they were being. 

“Yeah, I guess... we’ve got a plan.”

~

The next day went by pretty smoothly. No rehearsal was scheduled since they were finishing construction for some of the sets, but everyone was instructed to do a couple read throughs of the script, focusing on scenes they’re still forgetting, to make sure everyone’s off book. You stopped by 7 Eleven to get a blue slurpee (for homework) and a couple coconut waters (for run throughs). You texted Eleanor on your way to the slurpee machine. 

okay so do you like the mango coconut water or the pineapple one?? It’s the mango one right?? i always forget lmao

sent at 4:16 pm

btw I don’t have that much homework so you can probs come by around 5:30 if you’re ready by then

sent at 4:16 pm

Bae Tuck

OMFG!! I totally forgot about running lines tonight, I can’t make it! :( but I’ll send someone over to help you out. :)

sent at 4:17 pm

You squinted at your screen. That was weird. Eleanor never used colon parentheses smilies. Like, ever. She always used emojis, and usually way more than two per text. 

yeah np, are u good? ♡

sent at 4:17 pm

Bae Tuck

Yes :)

sent at 4:18 pm

Bae Tuck

Also get the passionfruit one 🥥🍠 👀

sent at 4:18

that’s,,, el that’s a sweet potato,,

sent at 4:19 pm

Bae Tuck

Close enough 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

sent at 4:19pm

...Okay? That was definitely weird. You shook it off and headed for the counter to pay. You stopped half way there, and turned back to swap the mango for passionfruit. 

Not long after you had finished your homework and tidied up your room a little, the doorbell rang. You exited the kitchen, drinks in hand, and opened the door. Your heart caught in your throat. Paxton Hall-Yoshida was standing outside. And you were pretty sure he looked nervous. You both just stood there for a second. No one breathed, no one spoke. 

“Uh, hi, do you want to…” you backed up, motioning for him to come inside. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said, entering the doorway. Paxton motherfucking Hall-Yoshida was in your living room. You held out a hand to him.

“Coconut water?” he took the box, looked at the label, and smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said again, this time a faint, yet unmistakable note of joy in his voice. He took a sip. He smiled.

“Passionfruit’s my favorite.” You silently thanked Eleanor, who you knew must have planned all this. Most of the evening was a blur, and you thanked god your family wasn’t home right now. You went upstairs, texted Eleanor asking what the actual fuck, made some surprisingly comfortable small talk, then filled him in on how to run lines. 

“Do you think playing the soundtrack would help you… get into character?” he asked. 

“I would probably just end up singing the whole thing,” You laughed and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest. The main scene you struggled with was before “Seventeen”. It was harder to get into Winnie’s head because you had no romantic feelings for Jonah, and you always just made each other laugh. You had started with a few easier scenes of Winnie and Jesse, like the fair, and the dialogue before “Top of the World”. 

“That was really good,” he said, and you felt the sincerity of his words. 

“Thanks…” you smiled and took a sip of coconut water, hoping you weren’t blushing too hard. 

“So what next?” he asked. 

“Probably the scene before ‘Seventeen’,” you said, giving him the page and scene number, “it’s one of the hardest ones for me. I guess I just can’t connect to Jonah the way Winnie does.” 

“Huh,” he said, skimming the page. When you looked up at him, he had something between a smile and a smirk playing at his lips. You made yourself look away before you got too distracted. You refused to think about the fact that you were sitting across from Paxton Hall-Yoshida on your bed, in your room, like you were… close with each other. His eyes skimmed the script, finding the dialogue. He glanced up at you and nodded, indicating he found his place. You began.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t get away,” you said, jumping into character.

“I may be 102, but I can still outrun anyone,” a smile played at his lips. You smiled, then let your face fall.

“I’m so sorry, I-I tried to warn you-”

“No, no,” he interjected almost seamlessly, “It’s okay, it’s… refreshing having someone look after me who isn’t my mom.” His eyes flickered between your face and the page. You smiled with him for a second, then let distress cloud your face.

“Jesse… that man came by my house today. He heard the music box, he knows about you-”

“I know he knows…” 

You continued on with the scene and he trailed off when he came to the sheet music for the song Seventeen. You took in a breath to start the dialogue in the middle of the song, but before you could…

“Six years from now you will turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…”

He was singing to you. He was looking at you and singing to you. His eyes only flickered down to the page to confirm the lyrics. He was nervous, you could tell. But through his hesitance, the emotion in his voice was sincere. Your heart was beating faster. You didn’t even notice your pulse was ringing in your ears, you were too focused on Paxton. 

“I'll wait for you till you turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…” Your hand rose to cover your mouth. He hesitated, and you remembered your dialogue.

“Uh, wh-what if I… forget where the spring is?” He reached out and took your free hand in his. Your pulse was off the charts. “I’ll go get you some water. Just… remember to keep it somewhere safe. Somewhere no one will find it.” You got the feeling he wasn’t just talking about the water. You knew he had never really been in a serious relationship before, and it clicked suddenly - if he learned an entire song to duet with you, just how much he must like you. You exhaled a breathy laugh, unsure how to process the sudden euphoria you felt. 

“You make the world sound so… exciting. I just want to drink the water right now!”

“Uh, no. You have to wait.” you both smiled, anticipating the upcoming joke.

“Why?” you ask, “What’s the difference?” You held your breath as he tried not to laugh through the delivery of the punchline. 

“Believe me,” he rubbed his thumb over your hand, “there’s a difference.” You both chuckled, and he continued singing. You were so focused on him, so… touched that he would do all this for you. 

“Winnie, wait with me,

And we could be married,

Winnie, wait with me,

And we'll share the world,

Winnie, you can stop time,

And live like this,

Forever…”

“I could live like this forever,” you echoed.

“Live like this...” you sang in tandem.

“What do you say, Winnie? Do you want to…” he broke character suddenly, and asked, his eyes boring into yours, “Do you want to go out some time?” 

He could see the adorable smile blooming on your face, even from behind your hand. You nodded.

“Yes, I-I would love that,” and you began to sing the last line in the song, “Forever-” 

But before you finished holding out the note, his lips were on yours. His mouth moved slowly, intentionally, against yours. You followed his lead, flustered. He leaned further forward, his palm caressing your cheek. It was everything you imagined it would be, and you had quite the imagination. Your head was angled up and your hands rested themselves on his back, one tracing little shapes. Your shoulders were pressed against each other and neither of you could think. He was so warm. He tasted like coconut and passion fruit, and a distant part of your mind silently thanked Eleanor again. 

You really could live like this forever.

[saintlavrents]

Truthfully [h.o]

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Warning(s): Fluff?

Prompt: “I can repress feelings all day.”

Summary: in which he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend

Words: 1,632

A/N: im back with yet another haz fic. ive been in such a haz mood lately aka since the end of last year. also im sorry that this is kinda bad bc ive been having writers block since january so yea lol and this is my entry to @londonspidey​‘s writing challenge. congrats on the 3k!

You were bouncing your leg on the passenger seat as Harrison parked the car in front of the venue. To say that you were nervous was definitely an understatement. You kept on asking yourself how on earth did you get yourself into this predicament. Well, you know exactly how. You just didn’t understand why you had agreed to this.

“I need a favor.” You had opened your door to a seemingly disheveled Harrison, who just walked in as soon as you opened the door.

“Good morning to you too.” You muttered sarcastically as you closed the door behind him.

It was around eight in the morning and you had stayed up last night to study for a quiz you were going to have on your afternoon class. And you weren’t in the best mood due to the sleep deprivation.

Harrison stopped in his tracks for a second before sighing and turning towards you. “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

Your eyes widen in disbelief. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Well, uh, I kind of told my mum that I was seeing someone and that I’m going to bring that someone to Janice’s wedding.”

“Your cousin, Janice?”

“Yes.”

You sighed as you run your fingers through your hair, “Why, though?”

“Because she keeps trying to set me up with one of her friends’ daughter.”

“And you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend to get her off your back?”

“Yes.” He uttered, seemingly defeated. “You’ve got to help me. I don’t know who else to ask.”

You and Harrison first met in freshmen year in your English class and almost immediately hit it off and that lead to him introducing you to his group of friends, which you soon became a part of as well. Ever since then, you were pretty much best friends with all of them but you and Harrison were probably closest to one another amongst the six of you. The two of you even ended up going to the same University, but for different majors -Theatre for Harrison and Literature for you- and the two of you also live in a flat next to one another.

Being best friends with Harrison was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to you. But the thing is, sometime around sophomore year, you realized that you had feelings for him. You never told anyone, mostly because you don’t have any plans on telling him about your feelings ever. You had such a great friendship with him and you didn’t want to jeopardize it.

But eventually, Harry found out, sometime after he had enrolled in the same University as you and Harrison.

You were helping Harry move in to his flat, since you’ve got two of your classes cancelled today. It was only the two of you as Harrison said that he would come over to help after class. After about an hour of helping Harry unpack his stuff, Harry’s door swung open and Harrison barged in and gave you a hug. You were taken aback, blushing and your heart was pounding a thousand beats per minute.

“What are you doing?”

“Thanking you for helping me with the audition.” He said, letting go of you. You had helped him run his lines as well as film his audition for a major part in a film student’s final project a few days ago. “I got the part.”

“That’s great news!”

“I know!”

Harrison stayed and helped Harry with unpacking for about an hour before leaving again for his next class. After Harrison had left, Harry turned to you.

“You have feelings for him!”

“What? No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do. If you don’t, you wouldn’t have been so defensive about it.”

You groaned in defeat, “Alright, fine. Happy now?”

“You should probably tell him.”

“And possibly ruin my friendship with him? No, thanks.”

“With you being this obvious, you should just tell him.”

“Again, no thanks.” You paused for a bit, quite embarrassed that you got caught. “I can repress feelings all day.” You added.

Since that day, you tried your best to not make it too obvious that you are practically in love with Harrison. You tried to ignore the loud beating of your heart every time he’s near and/or is looking at you with those blue eyes of his. You even had to put up a tough and sarcastic act whenever he’s around, mostly to pretend that whatever he did and/or say doesn’t really affect you, when whatever he did and/or say drives you crazy.

No matter whatever he said or did, never did you ever expect that he would ask you to pretend to be his girlfriend.

“But, like, your mom knows me.”

“Yeah and she likes you.”

“Wouldn’t she know that we’re not actually dating?”

“We’ll just have to act and be convincing.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll buy you lunch till the end of the term.”

You thought about it for a second before agreeing, “Okay.”

“Thank you!”

“When’s the wedding?”

“Saturday.”

And that was pretty much how you got yourself in this situation. You, in heels, dress, full face makeup, holding hands with the guy you’ve had feelings for since high school, walking into the venue of his cousin’s wedding.

“Your hands are sweating.” He whispered.

You stopped to retract your hands from his to wipe it off on your dress, “Sorry. I’m nervous ‘cause this is just weird. Pretending to be your girlfriend and all.”

He took your hand again and gave you a reassuring smile before walking into the ballroom, where the party was.

“Harrison!” You heard his mother call for him and the two of you turned around.

“Mum, hi.”

You gave a small smile, “Hi, Phil.”

“You guys came here together? I thought Harrison was bringing someone he’s seeing.” Phil teased.

You tensed up a bit and before you could say anything, Harrison chipped in, “Y/N and I are together, mum.”

Hearing him say that made you feel… weird. It made you feel butterflies, obviously, but it hurts because you wanted it to be true.

Phil looked taken aback, clearly surprised by her son’s declaration, but then quickly broke into a huge grin, “Oh my god! Harrison! You didn’t tell me that the one you’re seeing is Y/N!”

Thankfully, things got less awkward as the night went on and you had to admit that it was kind of fun playing along with it. Pretty much all you did for the rest of the night was stand by Harrison’s side, smile and respond whenever his family would talk to you.

At some point, you felt your ankles starting to hurt from standing too long on your heels, so Harrison suggested you take a break and sit down at the table for a while and so you did. You reached your hand down to your ankles in an attempt to massage and soothe the aching on them. You couldn’t help but look up once and a while and look at him. Sure, it got pretty fun, but it kind of hurt because you wanted it to be real.

He, eventually, caught you staring and mouthed an ‘Are you okay?’, which you responded with a nod and a small smile. You were once again looking down at your ankles and you felt someone pull the chair to your right.

“You know, I never thought he’d had the balls to ask you out.” Charlotte laughed.

You looked at her with a confused expression but before you could respond to that, she spoke again, “He’s always so scared that you didn’t like him that way. But mum and I always knew you like him back.”

Before she could say anything else, you heard Phil call to her for a family photo. What Charlotte said definitely confused you. What was that about?

“Hey.” Harrison snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, hey.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah, definitely.” You gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“Okay, that’s good. ‘Cause they’re going to start dancing any minute now.” And as if on cue, a slow tune played through the ballroom speaker.

He offered his hand to you and you took it, walking with him towards where everyone else were dancing, blending into the crowd. The two of you sway to the tune silently, before you decided to break the silence.

“You know, Charlotte said something interesting earlier.”

“What?”

“She said she never thought you’d had the balls to ask me out.”

Harrison tensed, “Oh. Did she say anything else?”

“She also said that you’re scared I don’t like you back.”

“Oh.” He looked down for a bit before looking at you.

“Oh? So, is it true?”

“I… Uh… Well… Here it goes.” He sighed before continuing, “I really like you, Y/N. And I know you don’t like me that way and that’s completely fine, I just hope that we can stay friends with y-” You cut him off by planting a short kiss on his lips.

You pulled away to see him looking very surprised. He was definitely not expecting that.

“I really like you too, Haz.” You smiled at him.

He smiled back at you before kissing you. And all you could think of was how crazy everything was. Never have you ever thought you’d be kissing him for real.

“Wait. She also said that your mum and her always knew that I liked you.”

“Uh… About that… Truthfully, she never tried setting me up with anybody. I just needed a reason to, well, ask you out.” He said, looking at you with that damn blue eyes, making your knees go weak.

And that was probably the moment where you both realized that it was love.

“You're still buying me lunch till the end of term, right?”

[whencallstheheart]

We’ll find out tonight if our predictions are correct! 

Responses to the written questions are under the cut.

Where is Ned and what is he doing?

No idea

Business trip

Dealing with some financial issues.

Doing business in UC or Hamilton. Nothing major

He stayed behind next episode and will be back in the finale.

I think planning something for Florence, maybe expansion for the mercantile?

I don't know

I have no idea, wth!?!?

Yo i have no idea. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he's trying to contact Florence's daughter who wasnt there for the wedding

Maybe he's visiting his daughter? Or expanding the Mercantile somehow

With Mike. Oil pipeline

Hiding

It sure

I have no clue honestly, maybe planning a surprise for Florence?

Perhaps...expanding his store? Or ordering something new to begin to be shipped to his.

something related to factory

Sussing out suppliers

Maybe something to do with the Wyman guy?

visiting his daughter

Buying a new house or a surprise for Florence

Visiting Abigail

Planning something special for Florence

He is doing something with his daughter

No clue

With his daughter

Planning to expand the mercantile to include deliveries (Hope Valley Amazon) lol

Not sure

I really dont know!

Made out a Will since he now is married to Florence

Business in Union City

Business, but he’ll be back

I don’t Know

I dont know. This one threw me!

Literally have no idea

maybe he will come back with his daughter who will come to live at HP

some sweet surprise/gift for Florence

He is involved im some growth in HV.

Taking care of business.

He's making a business deal somewhere

I have no idea. I think it was a weird to put in o.O

Making purchases for the store.

Business stuff somewhere

I don't know

i don't know

ned things

He just took the long way home...

Adopting Flo's son

Hiding

He is picking up a surprise order gift for Florence, and it’s taking longer than expected.

Fighting attempt to take over mercantile

Talking to a divorce lawyer. Or putting a pillow over Abigail's mom's face so she can bury her already and come back to Hope Valley for his buddy Henry's sake.

Honestly I’m not sure but interested to find out!

Idk honestly. Probably actually doing something sweet for Florence but she doesn't know it.

What's up with the Pinkertons?

Not sure

A storyline to bring a change of pace to the show.

I really Don’t know

Not sure, but I don’t think it will be resolved this season, maybe it’s the cliffhanger?

I don't know

They’re hired thugs like they were in S1, just there to show Walden is a bad guy despite appearances

Factory related

Up to no good! Don’t trust them.

Yo i dont even know. They look totally sketch but they are probably the good guys actually. I'm predicting they are after someone who's been wanted for a long time. I think it may be too easy to link them with the guy who took Jesse and Clara's money

Not sure yet

Working for Waldon

Railroad

Sneakily buying land

I couldn't care less about them

Perhaps something is in the cabin/someone they don't want found.

No idea

Something to do with the mine disaster (even though it's been ages).

we will see in season 9

Setting up a good storyline for season 9

Not sure maybe something to do with the new factory that might be built

Maybe it has to do with Henry

I have no idea, but I do not like them!

No good

Buying all the land

They have Jesse. Someone wants to reopen the mine and seek revenge on Elizabeth for his son going to jail (Spurlock).

Looking for some kind of hidden good

Shady dealings going on

Guarding the future factory site. But something extra at the cabin connected with Spurlock.

Trouble

?

An even bigger I dont know on this one. Like, what in the world???

Holding Jesse captive

I think they kidnapped Jesse because he found out what they were up to but I have no idea what that is

stumped on this one

That is difficult. He is apparently connected to S1 Spurlock. Is he there for revenge? Or, just a heavy hand like his relative?

Revenge? They want to take over Hope Valley.

Something sketchy, probably bigger than just whatever is going on with the cabin though.

Land grab

No clue but they'll be one of the big bads next season

They are probably the goons of the Industry dude

They are working for somebody bigger.

They want to take over the town

I don't know

i'm worried about Nathan

idk they are the bad daddys of the season

they can only be there to cover up a crime, or some valuable find

No clue

They’re wanting to uproot Hope Valley for better business by destroying the town.

Keeping identity of mastermind safe from townspeople.

Maybe looking for Ned, who alternatively is a serial killer and now on the run. Possibly for the murder of Abigail's mother?

I’m so confused lol

Creating a monopoly & doing some villain nonsense (as it would seem the show is hinting).

Any other thoughts going into the finale?

No

There will be at least one surprise- not sure what

There are too many loose ends to tie up in one episode and I just want Elizabeth and Nathan together (and perhaps quickly married in this episode!)

I’m honestly really nervous, I’m rooting for Nathan but I have a feeling she’ll go for Lucas, I really don’t mind Lucas as a character but like what storylines can they do with them as a couple? The manuscript is finished, they’ve gone on every sort of date at this stage and she’s been in his office. What else can they do? With Nathan they can do the being scared because of his job again but making it different, there’s children involved now, it’s not just Elizabeth. Jack won’t understand but Allie will 100% feel worried for him. Also Allie having a mother figure, especially at this stage in her life, how could you not want it! The blended family as the main family would be so nice for this show, I know it’s been done before but they will be fairly front and centre in the show. Sorry for the rant, I love your blog so much! I don’t have tumblr so I can’t leave comments or like your gifs but I thoroughly enjoy all your theories and opinions!!

Just ready for this stupid love triangle to be over!

I’d love to actually see Henry meet up with Abigail, but doubt it. I hope they have Clara do something heroic for Jesse, but also doubt it. Henry will definitely be putting Hickam in charge at least temporarily. I think Ned will return but we won’t get a full explanation yet. And the dramatic ending won’t be the triangle choice, it’ll be Elizabeth losing the school.

Allie’s adoption finalized and reaction to Elizabeth choosing Nathan is something we should see.

Glad the triangle will be DONE!!

I hope that Elizabeth follows her heart and not pick someone who is a safe option.

I wish Faith were leaving instead of Carson. Also, I think there will be lots of set up for problems with the school board and Elizabeth. Also, I want more little Jack scenes but i don't think we'll get much since child acting laws and covid combined make that difficult

Excited for Elizabeth to move on from her past and enter a new adventure with either of the two men and really just everything else (Rosie and Lee, Fiona, Henry.)

I hope Faith doesn’t end up with whoever doesn’t get chosen by Elizabeth.

hopefully the finale will clear up the drawn out love triangle

The triangle was waaaaay drawn out. Be done and choose.

Nathan and Faith......would be great......

No matter who Elizabeth chooses I'm SOOOO READY to get this over with!

Kindness matters - no matter who she chooses. Isn't that why most of us watch the show

I am so over the love triangle and just want to know who Elizabeth picks.

Worried about the fandom more than anything

Elizabeth please pick Nathan

It's just a TV show and no matter what , it's there for our entertainment. I do think they're setting things up for the return of Abigail in some way.

The must be a Season 9!!!

I hope Fiona does not get involved with Mike.

Hopefully things get back to normal for Elizabeth and Rosemary

Interested to see the other storylines. I want Elizabeth to choose Nathan but I think JT will throw us off. From the promo pic, it looks like they will try to put Faith with Nathan.

- I just want Elizabeth to chose so that this storyline can come to an end and we can finally get to see her marriage and functioning has a wife. - Wonder what will become of Lucas once her choice is made. - I would like Lucas to have a proper storyline that doesn't involve Elizabeth or the love triangle. - I would love to see Rosemary and Lee finally become parents however that may happen. I feel like the writer just left them in limbo about it and keep teasing but never delivering on anything.

Hopefully will end with Nathan but the very last minute. I would prefer more romance before the finale

Elizabeth will have to decide on what’s important with school.

Jack might make an appearance in a dream scene?

So excited! I hope I don't wake up my kids while watching.

I hope they don’t pick Lucas

CLARA DISCOVERS SHE IS PREGNANT

?

Just excited for this to be over. I know we needed it and I think overall it was handled decent enough, but I'm glad to finally move on.

Why is everyone so scared?

The whole season has been about getting over your fear. Elizabeth doesn’t have to deal with her emotions or real life with Lucas because school is out for the summer and she is working on her book. She needs to make up with Rosemary and get over the loss of Jack and fear to be with Nathan.

this season has been totally not what I expected...I thought the hug at end of season 7 was definitive and we'd get at least some Nathan courtship, not a complete U-turn to Lucas (with hopefully a turn to Nathan at the very end). I now think Season 9 will be what I expected season 8 to be, and I am very much looking forward to that.

Something sudden will allow Elizabeth to bring her feelings to light for everyone...Nathan. I think she will have decided by the time she takes of the rings, but will not have the opportunity to share with the man until later. Until she faces the prospect of him being in danger again? Full circle from the end of S7.

I need Elizabeth to really apologize to Rosemary. Rosemary has always been there for Elizabeth.

I’m so afraid :(

Hated the triangle

I am so ready to finally move on from this triangle!

They put waaaay too many storyline in the last 2 episodes, they will never manage to conclude them all and we'll have another weird random cliffhanger which will not tie in with the Christmas episode (If we're getting one ?)

I hope the guy who loses, has a good life in later seasons

The annoying love triangle will finally end. Elizabeth/Nathan are endgame, unless Jack suddenly comes back from the dead. But, I doubt it. I hope Lee/Rosemary are pregnant, or decide to adopt children. I just want Lee/Rosemary to have children. Can't wait to see how this season ends. Hopefully, it won't be a cliffhanger.

Nervous as hell

Elizabeth and Nathan get married

i kinda hope someone dies tbh it would make everything more interesting

Elizabeth was so tiresome this season, they could have told her story of overcoming grief in a much more relatable way. Why did they not just have her talking to Rosemary about how sad or exhausted or numb or angry she feels all the time? You know, something a widow would actually go through. At the very least she could have been stoic, instead she was just kinda bitchy.

Faith and Nathan will have some sparks; Elizabeth will choose Lucas and they will kiss twice one being at bridge one being at her home inside with baby jack present.Carson will leave; Jessie will be found; Ned will come back safely.

Lucas endgame, Nathan and faith have sparks, Rosemary paper, Jessie and Clara make up.

I think Henry will take his own advice and leave to find Abigail to see if there is still any hope for them. Though I like his character, I want him to finally be happy, and if that means staying with Abigail, then that’s what it means. I don’t think TPTB will bring back Lori soooo.... that means Henry would be the one possibly leaving. I also think some scare will happen with Nathan between him and the Pinkertons. Then it may come full circle at the end where Elizabeth runs to him like she did last season, but instead of hugging him, she’ll kiss him instead.

Hallmark execs dictated ending and will cut salaries to bring back Abigail, hence Paul leaving.

My condolences to whichever guy gets to look forward to being bored by Elizabeth for the rest of his life. Are we sure Jack's death wasn't a suicide?

Ready to see how it ends and already looking forward to next season!

I will be really disappointed if she chooses Lucas but I’m afraid that’s where it’s headed. Either way I don’t understand how they’ll end in “the healthy place” they’ve said it will be with so much left for one episode.

[daffodildazaiwrites]

can i pls request poly hcs for chuuya/reader/dazai bc i love them very much and also i just wanna date them both. perhaps just like “how they met” + cute relationship hcs if that’s ok!! nsfw is optional! Thank u so much ^^

THIS IS SUCH A GREAT REQUEST! Thank you so much anon! Also since I felt like it would be easier to establish a relationship like that I took the liberty of making the reader a part of the Port Mafia. It just seemed easier then to write reader as a part of the agency,  I hope you enjoy, this was super fun to write!!!! Also I love writing poly relationships so feel free to requests more!

also ofc im writing nsfw it’s a shame that you even considered that i might not lol

Warning: Explicit sinful content at the end

Commissions | Ko-Fi

Your relationship with Chuuya was already well established on the day you met Dazai. Your relationship with Chuuya was of being flirty friends that always came to the edge of being something more. You weren’t going to lie, after working with the red head for so long you had developed a minor crush. 

Meeting Dazai for the first time was one of the most confusing instances that happened to you. First of all, for someone who was imprisoned by the Port Mafia he had quite the mouth on him and second you’ve never witnessed Chuuya act so irrationally annoyed at someone before. At least someone other than you. 

You’ve heard many stories about Dazai Osamu before, especially from Chuuya. You’ve expected the man to, at least, look more threatening. But after the interrogation began you noticed where his true weapon layed, his mind. That same weapon was the reason why you were so mesmerized by him. You could never admit this to Chuuya though. Dazai was the enemy and from the seeming of it, Chuuya absolutely despised him. 

Dazai, noticing your lingering stares and open body language, was quick to engage in conversation. He was much more flirtatious then you anticipated and to be honest, it kind of worked. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you looked the other way. Dazai wasn’t the only one to notice your reaction. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“What?”

Meanwhile Chuuya was the embodiment of mixed emotions. Seeing Dazai after so long made him want to kick his face in to the wall and hug him. He was highly confused about the latter. But his rage grew when Dazai shamelessly flirted with you and that it worked????? he was appalled.

He never acted on it but he kind of figured you had a crush on him but apparently you also are head over heels about Dazai? He took in a deep breath. He might’ve over exaggerate the second part a bit. 

After the encounter, Dazai visited both you and Chuuya frequently and as time passed it was harder and harder to consider Dazai as the enemy. Even Chuuya didn’t seem surprised anymore that the man just showed up in your shared apartment. After a certain hour the two of you grew accustomed to hear a knock at the window. 

The only issue was that Dazai and Chuuya fought all the time. It was tiring for you. Especially when their competitiveness over you grew, you felt like a toy that was trying to be shared among two toddlers. 

The first sudden realization that you might have feelings for the two men you have grown accustomed to is when Chuuya blatantly told you that he wouldn’t mind if you wanted to be with Dazai and that he would understand. You couldn’t be with either of them because you had fallen for them both. 

Chuuya is relieved when you don’t choose. Even if he wanted you happiness he couldn't bare the idea  of losing two people he cared about. He could still argue that he hated Dazai with a fiery passion but he would be fooling no one. 

Dazai is the first one to suggest a poly relationship as the three of you were lounging on the couch. Your head resting on Dazai’s lap as your legs rested on Chuuya’s. With confusion both you and Chuuya stared at him. You’ve heard the term before but you had no idea how it would work. 

When Dazai explained the fundamentals of a poly relationship, you’re relieved. There was nothing wrong with you. You weren’t selfish or insatiable. Dazai’s proposition felt like a blessing and eased your troubled heart. 

Chuuya on the underhand, still felt confused. He felt that trouble and heartbreak was inevitable in such a relationship. Especially because he had convinced himself Dazai was only suggestion such a thing for your sake. It wasn’t hard to see how you felt about the both of them so to him, it seemed like Dazai was just trying to spare your feelings. When your sparkling eyes landed on Chuuya, he felt as if he had to say yes, for your sake at least. 

Dazai eased Chuuya’s mind when he admitted that he cared for the both of you and that he simply didn’t want to choose. He also added that they practically lived together anyway. This was enough to convince Chuuya but due to Dazai being a part of the Armed Detective Agency they had to keep it a secret. Dazai had no problem with this but both you and Chuuya weren’t really known to be good at being secretive. You were just too impulsive. Besides what if they had to attack the agency, what then? 

But then again, none of you wanted to back down, therefore your relationship began. 

General Relationship:

 Dazai is a brat. He wants everything to go according to his plans. The fact that he’s very good at reading the both of you makes it easy for him to get his way. He doesn’t mind playing minor tricks or manipulation tactics to get you and Chuuya to do stuff you don’t originally want to do. It’s exhausting to constantly trying to understand if Dazai was genuine or just wanted you to do something. Chuuya suggested that he should just kick him in the face as a punishment but you preferred to actually communicate. The two of you sit Dazai down and tell him how awful you and Chuuya had been feeling. He’s shocked at first because he had no idea the issue had gotten that big, but he’s quick to apologize. 

You and Chuuya mostly do the cooking. In fact you’re not going to even take credit, Chuuya is the actual one who cooks. You’re usually there more as an assistant. Since Dazai, for the sake of keeping the relationship off grid, comes home late the meals are usually prepared and waiting for him. Also Dazai tried to cook once, the kitchen caught on fire so Chuuya forbade him to cook ever again. 

Dazai tends to tease the both of you a lot. Whenever the mafia and agency clashes in some way, he says the most inappropriate things and it flusters both of you. In fact, you saw the whole agency looking at Dazai with utter confusion and discomfort whenever he opened his mouth near the two of you. Chuuya ended up strangling Dazai when he got home and honestly, you let it go on more than necessary. 

Unfortunately, since the relationship is secret you can’t really go on outside dates. The three of you stay indoors and your dates would usually consists of binging movies or reading books. The three of you decided to go out on full moons only. Chuuya would prepare a basket filled with you and Dazai’s favorites and would go on a moonlit picnic. 

Chuuya is the jealous one. He hates when anyone so much as glances at you or Dazai. Of course, Dazai loves to play it up a bit especially if he KNOWS Chuuya can’t say anything or else he’ll be in trouble. In the end both you and Dazai shower the redhead with extra affection when the three of you are at home or else he’ll be super cranky for a week. 

Dazai and Chuuya are both very open with their affection. They love to shower you with kisses and hugs. Chuuya especially. Since you and Chuuya work together it’s more easy for him to hold you hand or hug you from behind in the day time. Even if he would never admit it Dazai does get jealous because you two get to spend more time together while in the meanwhile he has to jump through hoops to see the two of you. 

Chuuya smokes when he’s stressed and basically WW3 begins in the house. The two of you hate the smell and want him to stop. 

“It’s just one smoke. It’s not like I smoke all the time.” 

“SMOKING KILLS!”

“OH MY GOD IT’S JUST ONE SMOKE, I’M STRESSED!”

“DON’T TRY THAT CRAP ON ME WE WORK AT THE SAME PLACE!” 

“Look you ALWAYS leave an empty carton of milk in the fridge and don’t get me started on Dazai!”

“What do I do?!” 

“IT’S LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN TRY TO AIM WHEN YOU GO TO THE TOILET!”

When the three of you drink, usually wine, you and Dazai’s favorite thing is to get Chuuya drunk. He gets super clingy and affectionate and downright adorable when he’s drunk. Even with Dazai, Chuuya doesn’t hesitate to sit on his lap and give him a sloppy kiss and mumble how much he likes him. Then he starts to cry because he just loves the two of you so much and in the end he ALWAYS falls asleep on either yours or Dazai’s lap. 

The fact that Chuuya and Dazai are absolute troublemakers you worry constantly. Even if you can keep an eye on Chuuya and make him not fight literally everyone that he sees, there’s really no telling what Dazai is up to. It gets to such a point that you end up crying in secret because the constant fear of losing either of them is just too much for you. When the two men learn of this they console you and decide to come up with a system where Dazai notifies them in every three hours by any means necessary. If he can, he also tries to texts more often.   

While you and Chuuya love to cuddle, Dazai isn’t that much of a fan. Despite that he would entertain the two of you by wrapping his long arms and legs around both of you when you go to bed. You would usually be in the middle whilst Chuuya would be the little spoon. On days where Dazai came back especially late, he would find the two of you huddled up together. His heart would melt at the sight and after giving you and Chuuya a peck on the forehead, he would settle in, pulling you both closer to his body.

NSFW:

Chuuya is the most nervous one among the three of you. Considering his former relationship with Dazai it’s hard for him to let himself be so vulnerable in front of the other. Much to Chuuya’s surprise, Dazai is patient with him and doesn’t do anything that might make him uncomfortable, he does love to tease Chuuya though. At this point teasing his loved ones is pretty much Dazai’s drug. As time passes Chuuya starts to trusts Dazai with his body and needs. 

Dazai just screams dominant energy to you and you’re not mistaken. He would make you beg for his cock and tease you until you started to hump the nearest pillow with saliva dribbling down your mouth. He would want a show to say the least. He would tie Chuuya to a chair with his cock out and ready, then he would fuck you right in front of him, teasing Chuuya as he had his way with you. Asking Chuuya if the view was good, if he liked what he was doing to you, if he wanted to join them. He was also a fan of trying new things and toys as long as the two of you were okay with it. 

Chuuya on the other hand was gentle as gentle could be. He would litter your flushed skin with soft kisses and make you feel like a true goddess. He would like to tease you in his own way. Chuuya would have his way with you in a slow and steady pace, sucking, licking and kissing every inch of your body. In the end you would writhe underneath him, begging him to put his cock in you and just fuck you already.  

Seeing the two men for the first time together makes your cunt drip with want immediately. Dazai is quite tender with Chuuya and the way he slowly works him open with his long fingers and then fucks him is a huge turn on for you. The sight of Chuuya being filled with Dazai’s cock to the brim and the sweet noises of his moaning made you lose control. Your body would move on its own as you nestled yourself between Chuuya’s legs and sucked his hard cock. 

When Dazai and Chuuya get together you are pretty much guaranteed to see stars. You love being filled up by both ends and feeling the two men you absolutely adore inside of you. Dazai would fuck you as you sucked on Chuuya’s cock. Both men groaning and moaning as they had their way with you. Being the one who has no self control Chuuya would wrap your hair around his fingers and started to blatantly fuck your mouth. You would the tip of his cock deep in your throat as you swallowed around him. Not liking to be ignored Dazai would snap his hips faster and harder, making you moan around Chuuya’s length. Your inner walls would clench around Dazai’s cock as you came. The two men would follow suit, both of them filling you up with their delicious cum to the brim.