#im ready to hibernate now thank you i never want to leave the house again

[elibeeline]

my least favourite days are the ones where i feel stared at constantly

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

The BNHA Group Chat Fic Nobody Asked For

Pairings: Todoroki Touya (Dabi)/Mr/ Compress (Sako Atsuhiro), Shimura Tenko (Shigaraki Tomura)/Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)/Kurono Hari (Chrono), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)/Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)/Shirakumo Oboro (Loud Cloud), Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)/Kayama Nemuri (Midnight)

Word Count: 1,088 Words

Summary: Todo-siblings, teacher shenanigans, the 1-A twins accidentally freeze out the fifth floor, and Kirishima is best boy.

Warnings: Cursing, Sleep Deprivation, Insomnia, Abuse Mention, Mensuration/Period Mentions, Caps, Food Mention, Half Blind Character, Deaf Characters, Anxiety Mention, Mostly Mute Character (due to a different medical issue), Selectively Mute Character, let me know if I should add anything else.

Note: Natsuo and Fuyumi's chat names are based on quirk headcanons I have for them. Natsuo's is because I headcanon him to have a quirk where he can manipulate and generate water like Shoto can with his ice and Fuyumi's because I headcanon her to have a thermal manipulation quirk. Touya's is 'wine' because white and red wine and his hair is red and white.

Usernames: We Are Number One™ Aizawa: Dadzawa, Aoyama: immafiringmahlaser, Ashido: princessbubblegumknockoff, Asui: Galvan, Iida: Emergency Exit, Uraraka: 9.8, Ojiro: tailfloof, Kaminari: Pichu, Kirishima: baby shark, Koda: youredoingamazingsweetie, Sato: GuyFieriIsGod, Shoji: Cthulhu, Jirou: Jack Skellington, Sero: Spider-Man, Tokoyami: EdgarAllanCrows, Todoroki: WHERE?, Hagakure: cena, Bakugo: WHAT?, Midoriya: SmolMight, Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: exhausted, Yaoyorozu: TheGreatCreator, Kurono: stopwatch, Chisaki: donthugmeimscared, Yukimura: choticgaydisaster, Bubaigawara: shadowclonejutsu, Shimura: idontfeelsogood, Awase: illrememberyouallintherapy, Kaibara: IDOWHATIWANT, Kamakiri: scyther, Kuroiro: itsmeyaboy, Kendo: Akimichi, Kodai: deadinside, Komori: shroomgurl, Shiozaki: wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs, Shishida: furry, Shoda: cryptid, Tsunotori: mylittlepony, Tsubaraba: airbender, Tetsutetsu: Iron Man, Tokage: t-rex costume, Fukidashi: glorifiedtextbubble, Honenuki: Eren Jaeger/spookyscaryskeletons, Bondo: Slimer, Monoma: HopeSummers, Yanagi: iLiEdImDyInGiNsIdE, Rin: snek, Toga: mystique, Sako: lostmymarbles, Hikiishi: queenofmagnetism, Iguchi: eye gucci, Shinokanri: stardust

Usernames: Emos Anonymous Kaminari: blackcloakedbrides, Shoji: fryingpan, Jirou: greentwentyfourhours, Tokoyami: myscientificinfatuation, Todoroki: twentyoneplotpoints, Bakugo: immobileinwhite, Midoriya: falldownboy, Shinsou: stabtheveil, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Chisaki: plummetingininverse, Yukimura: anxietyintheclub, Shimura: nappingwithsirens, Kuroiro: thousandfootcane, Kodai: marianaspit, Monoma: entiretimelow, Yanagi: recentyearsday, Sako: halfminutetomars, Aizawa: hollywoodlivingdead, Shouji: fryingpan, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Aoyama: phantomtown, Honenuki: visualizedragon, Sako: halfminutetomars, Awase: distressparade, Shinokanri: simplestrategy

Usernames: UA Teachers Are Tired™ Eraserhead/Aizawa: grumpy scarf cat, Present Mic/Yamada: screeching cockatiel, Midnight/Nemuri: chaotic goth gay Ingenium/Iida: gotta go fast, AllMight/Toshinori: actual sunshine, Vlad King/Kan: bloody hell, Power Loader/Majima: speechtotext, Ectoplasm: needalegup?, Snipe: kazoo cowboy, Cementoss: concrete block, Blackmist/Kurogiri: goth portals

We Love A Good, Caring Dadzawa In This House-Chapter 3

11:38 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

chaotic goth gay: so anygay we ever gonna talk bout the fact that the twins in 1a plan to take a week home?

kazoo cowboy: no??? it's their personal life????

needalegup?: I say we leave the boys alone.

screeching cockatiel: they don't like being referred to at 'the twins' Nemuri. They're separate beings.

chaotic goth gay: okay, the two canadian flags of Shouta's 25 nearly adopted children.

grumpy scarf cat: you're right but why say it?

bloody hell: I thought his class was 26 students now like mine? who tf you forgetting Nemuri?

chaotic goth gay: no one I be leaving out that little grapist tho. hate him and so does Shouta

screeching cockatiel: OwO oh worm?

grumpy scarf cat: never again Hizashi. never again.

screeching cockatiel: OvO

grumpy scarf cat: i hate you.

screeching cockatiel: love you too babe uwu

grumpy scarf cat: well,

grumpy scarf cat: i'm gonna go yeet myself off the roof for that one.

screeching cockatiel: Nuuuuuuu, how will me Hitoshi and Ayane ever survive without you!?

grumpy scarf cat: tru tru

grumpy scarf cat: I'll take Hitoshi with me.

screeching cockatiel: you wouldn't dare!

grumpy scarf cat: again tru tru

2:24 AM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

grumpy scarf cat: yeet yeet bitch he finally asleep [pic of Hitoshi asleep against Aizawa's side with Ayane asleep between them]

chaotic goth gay: that's perfect.

chaotic goth gay has changed their name to yeet yeet bitch

yeet yeet bitch: thank boi me sleep now

yeet yeet bitch is offline

4:14 AM

We Are Number One™

WHERE?: so anyway I'm ready to yeet our dad into the sun but that's too good for him

chaoticdisastergay: oh worm???? same hat??? could stand to snow his eyes out first tho

immafirinmahlaser: why y'all puttin ur father on blast in the main chat?

WHERE?: wait, where? oh fuck wrong one Touya, wrong one! mayday mayday

SmolMight: I was summoned my the word mayday what happened

SmolMight: oh

SmolMight: well then

lostmymarbles: Dear? Please lay down? I was comfortable?

chaoticdisastergay: well, speaking of tmi, I thought it was just a bathroom run but turns out my monthly came a week early, Atsu. I'm coming back.

WHERE?: that was a long time in the bathroom but okay.

lostmymarbles: Yeah, almost an hour. I'm lonely, the bed feels cold without you, snowdrop!

chaoticdisastergay: I had to shower over in the 1a dorms too, calm down.

lostmymarbles: Kay, come back to bed, I wanna cuddle.

SmolMight: Such precious. Most pure. We have been blessed with witnessing this couple be cute.

WHERE?: so anNYway, Touya, you goin back to the family chat?

chaoticgaydisaster: yee

4:30 AM

Trauma? Yeet. Memes? Yoink.

vulpix: anygay. still wanna yeet our dad into the sun but it'd still be too good for him.

lapis: I??? feel that????? wtf???????

thermostat: oh? a mood? in this good household?

wine: i really just want to go back to sleep but the brain machine broke i'm woke

vulpix: oh worm?

thermostat: anyway gotta actually get outta bed soon, drop off your girls at daycare, get mine to school, and go to work.

lapis: fine, gonna go with ya

thermostat: mhmmmm sure you are, you're gonna fall asleep in 20 minutes Natsuo.

lapis: that may be but i'll at least try

thermostat: doubt

thermostat is offline

8:24 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: so anyway tea apparently shoto and touya are going home all next week

princessbubblegumknockoff: oh? drama?

WHERE?: family visit no drama

chaoticgaydisaster: just visiting our family

SmolMight: so anygay Aizawa told us we have someone special visiting a1 today for class!

Spider-Man: I wonder who it is!

Dadzawa: toshi cmon I gotta get to class and drop you off like a gay goth god of insomniac children

exhausted: hol up im eating still

exhausted is offline

Dadzawa is offline

cena: well, no answers from them i guess

Emergency Exit: Everyone, please get off your phones in class!

9:37 AM

We Are Number One™

itsmeyaboy: so who was it that came to your class?

TheGreatCreator: The Big Three of UA

itsmeyaboy: huh. we had Hawks, Ryukyu, and Mirko

Iron Man: The Three Greats of UA

HopeSummers: We win.

SmolMight: Meh, we both got good people to teach us.

HopeSummers: Valid, carry on.

2:28 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

gotta go fast: so anyway, am i ever gonna get told why there's someone named speechtotext in this chatroom and who all they are?

kazoo cowboy: That's Majima with the support course.

needalegup?: he couldn't figure out how to work his phone with his fingers when we first made this chat and he used speech to text a lot.

goth portals: we used to get a lot of text messages where Hatsume had spoken over him and it became too much of a meme so Nemuri changed his name to speechtotext.

gotta go fast: understandable, have a nice day.

7:24 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: um guys all of floor five is frozen what happened?

Galvan: the girls' side isn't but it's getting cold over here

GuyFieriIsGod: My door is frozen shut.

Spider-Man: Todoroki or Yukimura must have had a nightmare again

TheGreatCreator: Does this happen often?

Spider-Man: more than you'd believe.

GuyFieriIsGod: Does anyone have an ice pick?

Galvan: i'm going downstairs before it spreads

TheGreatCreator: That's a good idea, Tsu, we don't want you getting too cold and hibernating.

WHAT?: wow

Spider-Man: wow? just wow? dude, help us!

WHAT?: ...

WHAT?: perish.

baby shark: I'm coming!

7:45 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: KIRISHIMA IS A GODSEND

GuyFieriIsGod: He got us out.

TheGreatCreator: It was easier because Todoroki likely melted it.

GuyFieriIsGod: Anyway, now that we're free, I'm making breakfast if anyone wants any. 1b and Shinsou included

WHAT?: wow

cena: Is Bakugo okay?

SmolMight: Yeah, that's just his morning brain. That happens if he gets less than an hour of sleep. He kinda short circuits for about an hour.

Pichu: excellent. thank you for this knowledge.

princessbubblegumknockoff: sometimes I question if your have a death wish.

Pichu: a death wish to get him to hug me and tell me i'm cute dammit!

Pichu is offline

baby shark: a very pure death wish. we don't deserve you denki!

WHERE?: It's been made apparent to me that I froze the fifth floor and I'm sorry.

chaoticgaydisaster: and I made enough snow it was practically snowmen

princessbubblegumknockoff: THEY RISE!

WHERE?: too early for this i need a pot of coffee

chaoticgaydisaster: mood but also gimme half dammit

Taglist: @logan-sanders-enthusiast @luckyicekitsune @whippedbel @lgbtforeverything @pinecone-chomper @mikmacmoo @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @purplespiderstormcloud @stankyratman @king-of-the-oranges @headcannons-and-random-things @fear-ze-queer @turtleluv799 @ymmm-someone

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) Chapter 8.5

Mini chapter for you guys. I have a smut drabble for later. 

warnings: alcohol, fluff, blood, implied smut

Chapter 8.5

Apparently Theres an Echo

——————-

She woke up to the cold sewer air prickling the skin that wast covered by her t-shirt and Pennywise’s long arms. He was still holding her on top of him and she could heard a soft purring from his chest reminding her of a giant cat.

“Nhm Pen are you purring.”

“No”

“Then why are you vibrating”

“No” he mumbled apparently he had fallen asleep too which was rare for Pennywise outside of hibernation.

She sat up and yawned noticing her claws on her hands “Well these are new” they shrunk back into normal fingers.

“Oooh my kitten’s got claws now” the clown purred he was still on his back and began to fold his hands behind his head basking in the after glow.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“No clue don't really keep a working clock down here” he said as he sat up plopping Leech’s beanie he had stolen back on her head. She kissed his cheek and he rolled his eyes at the sweet gesture. “I’m hungry wanna join me?” he said standing up now a devious toothy grin began to grow on his face.

“Dont think I'm the kid eating type Pen sorry.”

“Its almost night the only people out right now are going to be adults and teens. You can watch the master at work!” he waggled his eyebrows and held a hand out to her.

“I think I'm going to make my way home and grab a drink.” she replied taking his hand.

“Such a picky eater. Suit yourself.” he pulled her up and held her for a minute. “I’ll see you soon kitten” he leaned down and kissed her sweetly she smiled into it and brought her hands around his ruffles not noticing his yellow eyes slowly open halfway through the sweet gesture or the small smirk he was wearing when they pulled away from each other. “Bye Pen” she smiled picking up one of her discarded clothing items. He waved at her as he made his way to the tunnels.

—————-

“Nice makeup Leech!” she heard as she walked into the house.

“Uh thanks Chucky?” she said as the doll walked by

“Really brings out the eyes” said Tiff who was laughing at something. Leech was seriously confused she didn't wear makeup that much anymore with her reflection beginning to disappear.  

“Ok guys seriously is there something on my face? Why are you all talking about makeup?”

“Not something toots, someone!” Freddy shouted he always stayed at their place when Drac had laundry day.

She pulled out her phone and snapped a quick selfie. It was the only way she could actually see what she looked like anymore. She nearly dropped it when she saw the red and white make up smeared all over her face and lips.

“PENNYWISE YOU ASSHOLE” she roared making her way towards the basement where the old well was erupting now with loud cackling. Oh he was in so much trouble now.

“Dont worry he's about to get his humiliation too.” Chucky snickered

“What’d he do this time.” Leech asked trying to wipe her face with her flannel.

“Oh I think you already know” said Freddy walking up to her and slapping her hard on the shoulder.

“The whole town knows from what I heard” Tiffany called out.

“Wait….. what?” Leech’s eyes were wide with confusion and horror.

“Didn’t know Jingles could howl like that nice job!” Chucky gave her a thumbs up.

“OH MY GOD”

The entire room died from laughter. She was paralyzed in shock realizing that everyone near a drain just heard what she and the clown had done. Pennywise was walking up from the basement now chewing on a leftover hand. He decided to give his favorite big eared bloodsucker a little scare and used it to tap Leech on the shoulder. When she jumped he saw the look of terror on her face and ginned proudly thinking everyone was still laughing at his prank. “GOT YOU” he sang. His grin turned into a frown when she didn't react.

“���…….Pen did you know that the sewer… echoes?” the housemates snickered in the background

Pennywise’s expression became cold with sudden realization. “Oh no” he whispered as Freddy looked like he was about to suffocate from holding back his laughter.

“H-how many people…know.” his eyes began to drift apart.

“Everyone with a drain jingles. Pinhead called by the way he wanted to….. thank you?” Chucky said on the verge of cackling. Leech had slumped down onto her knees in utter defeat.

“Kudos to you hun for putting that ruffled asshole in his place” Tiff managed to tell her between giggles

“I-Im going to k-kill them all” Penny turned to Leech his smile was cracked and deranged and his eyes were going two completely different directions. He had begun to shake and twitch a bit she could faintly hear his soft bells jingle. The entire house exploded with laughter Chucky was actually crying from laughing so hard. Church the cat screamed in surprise from the sheer volume of the noise and ran between Penny’s feet and up the stairs. The clown was so frozen with embarrassment he didn't even notice.

“Say Leech, does he jingle while he fucks? Please tell me he does.” Freddy was finally able to call out to her.

“Pen… I know you said you wouldn't but. Please. Please kill me. I'm ready to die now” she looked over to the clown but he was gone. The basement door slamming shut. Leech snapped dashing for the door.

“PEN NO WAIT!! YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE! YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE AND TAKE ME WITH YOU! PENNYWISE YOU BASTARD IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS ALONE!” She ran to the door pounding on it as it locked and everyone howled with laughter again.

Leech crept downstairs after she was good everyone had gone to bed she NEEDED a drink. she made a beeline for the fridge planning on making a “Literal bloody marry” as she called it blood and vodka were the main ingredients with whatever she could throw in from the fridge for flavor. she had been getting her blood supply from work Leatherface had been kind enough to save her leftover blood in buckets until she could make her own kills. She really did love that giant maniac, he was like the big brother she never had.

As she opened the fridge door Pennywise flopped out, he had contorted himself into it as a hiding spot from further embarrassment.

“Is everyone gone?” he said with his face on the floor. It was a pitiful sight to see such a proud terrifying creature reduced to a state of utter humiliation.

“Yes. Now tell me where my fucking vodka is before I make you howl again and not in a good way.”

The clown shut the fridge with his foot and flicked it back open the items fully restored. Leech frantically grabbed her mixes and dumped them into a pitcher stirring it quickly before chugging it. Pennywise had rolled onto his back to watch her attempt to drown herself with a mix of blood and alcohol.

“Slow down there firecracker, or were going to have a repeat of last movie night. You argued with Freddy for 20 minutes about song lyrics”

“Freddy was fucking wrong and he still is.”

He stood up and snatched the pitcher out of her hand and drank some himself Leech protested with hisses and growls.

He whistled through his buckteeth after the taste of the drink. “You plan on adding more blood to your vodka dear?”

“After what just happened I don't think I ever want to be sober again.”

Pennywise winced and took another gulp. He didn't usually like the taste of alcohol unless it was extremely sugary but after the humiliation he just suffered he was willing to force it down in an attempt to make the situation less awful “For once I'm agreeing with you” he said.

After a few more drinks the pair stumbled over to a couch Leech sitting between the clowns legs her head against his chest. Apparently the clown cant hold his liquor well.

“Weeeee should watch a movie” Leech said tilting her head up at him

“Like whaaaat” he giggled. The clown was all laughs and jingles when drunk and his coordination went out the window.

“Something don't have to think about. I'm done with using my brain for today”

“As ifff you ever use it” he slurred

“Careful Jingles or I’ll tell everyone exactly what made you howl my name all through the sewer.” she snapped her teeth at his ruffled collar for dramatic effect.

“We’re not talking about that.”

They popped in a cheesy horror from Leech’s slowly growing movie collection, Pennywise couldn't help constantly giving critiques on the monster in a weird attempt to impress her “Its all wrong! This guy sucks I’d be so much better” he'd say.

“He doesn't even have a personality!” Occasionally he'd throw out a playful drunken insult her way just to get a rise out of her.

“Leeeech! Look see he's got no finesse like you!!” he'd giggle at that while affectionately playing with her giant pointy ears and Leech would nip at him causing him to giggle even more.

“Don't be a dick Pen” she shoved his knee.

“Ok, ok, but look at this! Look Leeech! You’re not looking! Leechie I’m trying to help you!”

“You're drunk Pennywise” Leech chuckled taking one of his hands and trying to lace her fingers in with his.

“So are you.” he growled.

“Hey Pen?”

“hm?” he grunted head tilted back from the swirl of the booze

“What are we? Since people are gunna ask now.”

He could have sworn he saw Chucky peaking around the corner with a sign saying “TELL HER YOU LOVE HER IDIOT” which made him wince in frustration.

“Complicated” he replied arms tightening around her

She seemed a bit disappointed with his answer. “You can say that again.” she sighed turning her head to lay against him, both eventually passing out to the flicker of the tv screen.

-------------

Smut drabble on its way later tonight!