#im rambling again you have no idea how much i need to talk about my stories
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What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert
see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)
i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!
another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know
dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.
anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else
#killer's breakdancing and he swears this isnt on purpose guys#GUYS GUYS ITS NOT ME THE BODY IS DRUNK OKAY WHY CANT I STOP WHEN DID I LEARN HOW TO DO THIS#horror has SO much to be guilty over its not even funny. ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#nobody talks about this but this man is GUILTSTRIFEN. he is literally filled with so much guilt its not even funny#dust and killer have the genocides they did. ok. sure. that's it????#ugh god i dont wanna ramble in tags again..... im just gonna end up saying it in the analysis anyways but ughhhhhhhhhhh#yk what fine i'll rapid fire. trying to keep people from killing themselves. watching his friends die.#knowing that other monsters are getting eaten. worrying papyrus. coming up with a plan he knows wont work and tries make it happen#because that idea of them deconstrucing the core would NOT have worked so he did that out of selfishness#forcing his community to eat humans. tricking papyrus into eating humans. going against all his morals#dare i need say more i swear AND ALL OF THESE ARE SEPERATE THINGS TOO!!!!!!#he single handedly DOOMED horrortale into disarray by destroying the core#the eye idea wouldve worked. it wouldve been the only way monsterkind thrived#and yet he destroyed the core but kept his eye safe. as if one last big fuck you#you can have my eye but you cant have the machine that needs it. good luck bitches#THERE ALREADY WAS FOOD IN SNOWDIN BEFORE HE TOLD THEM TO EAT HUMANS#THERE COULD'VE BEEN ANOTHER WAY TO RATION THE FOOD OR FIND S FOOD SOURCE#BUT HE JUST TOLD TJEM TO EST HUMANS OUT OF SPITE SO UNDYNE WOULDN'T GET THE SOULS#granted it was a solution that worked for the hunger problem BUT HORROR FUCKING HATES IT#HE HATES THE IDEA OF EATING HUMANS HE HATES THE IDEA OF KILLING KIDS#BUT HE STILL DOES IT HE GOES AGAINST ALL HIS MORALS UGHHHHH#horror sans. horror sans my king horror sans my glorious lord and savior#i cannot WAIT to drop that character analysis. it will change lives. and by lives i mean me#i will be a changed man once the horror analysis comes out#anyways WHO IS THIS ANON AGAIN. its a question i always wonder because wtf#you have a daily question for me. this is like a log in event. if i answer all the questions in a row for a week i get a SPECIAL question#but fr thank you so much for your questions i love answering them its so fun to wrack my mind and figure out a way to answer it. brain teas#every time i see the words mtt expert i laugh lowly like an evil villain but i try not let it get to my head#humility is a standard i aim to uphold. one of my character traits. triglycercule character analysis when#tricule asks
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Of cycles, regrets, and grief
#arterna#starteam comic#cw abuse#at least mention of it#st: rena#st: maya#st: jack#I remember posting the first one on my story on insta way back when and people getting worried I was venting oh dear no im sorry#the first two were made in succession of each other#the one with jack was made much later because i was planning on making one for each star team member but i am bad at finishing stuff#yes I did write down the text manually for each of the backgrounds and no it's not gibberish#unfortunately Maya's is barely legible if at all#first two is rena and maya talking about their past and what led them to their situations#rena is very talkative so writing hers was easy. Maya on the other hand? Getting her to open up in character was hard#for jack's background text it is a conversation between Damien and Maya talking about Jack#for the down memory lane fans (lol) jack does not appear in the game because it takes place before his introduction chronologically#i say knowing that there are exactly total 4 people who know the star team storyline and like even less that know about down memory lane#im rambling again you have no idea how much i need to talk about my stories#these pieces singlehandedly affected my traditional art artstyle fundementally fr
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MHA BOYS NSFW HEADCANNONS
[•~featuring- AGED UP!! Izuku Midoryia, Katsuki Bakugo, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Hanta Sero, Hitoshi Shinsou~•]
[•~a/n- haven't written in months!! excuse my writing but im getting back into it!! send requests!!, TY FOR 1K FOLLOWS 🙏🏼~•]
₊˚⊹♡ Izuku Midoryia
-Definitely a closeted pervert. have you seen the way he reacts around other girls?? you can't tell me that he hasn't watched a whole bunch of porn. his mind is definitely filthy and has no limits, very imaginative.
- but he tries his best to hide it, of course. he gets really embarrassed knowing that he's fantasizing about such sexual ideas and how it isn't right, but he can't help it when you wear those low cut shirts that expose your cleavage so well, or whenever your skirt rides up your thighs, showing off so much skin he doesn't even know what to do.
-100% a tits guy. any size is perfect to him, because to him it's not about the size. as long as he can grope and squish them or even seeing your hardened nipples poke through the thin fabric of your shirts. It's just enough to get him going.
-he gets super shy the first couple times you two do fuck. I'm talking constant rambling, the cherry red blushed cheeks and all those whimpers. he really doesn't know how to act. he's been waiting for the moment your soft delicate hands wrap around the base of his cock, or when he could feel your slick walls tighten around his shaft. he's been dreaming of this night for so long, he can't believe it's actually happening.
-he gets fucked out so so quickly. it's already so hard to not just cum as soon as he enter your tight wet walls. so after a couple thrusts he's mumbling about how good you feel and how much he loves you. when he gets closer, his hips buck into yours in an unsteady pace. his thrusts are more shaky and harder as he's whispering both quiet praises and curse. shutting his eyes tightly as he reaches his high, mouth slightly agape too.
-he loves eating. he prefers giving rather than receiving, simply because he'd rather please you. hearing your soft angelic sounds and watching as your face reacts with every little thing he does is already enough to make him cum. like I said, he has watched so much porn, he has analyzed them for moments like this. and he's analyzing you too. taking mini mental notes of what makes your hips shuffle, or what makes your cries go a pitch higher. he's so good at giving head, it makes you question if he even is a virgin anymore.
₊˚⊹♡ Katsuki Bakugo
-a throat fucker. you could start off going slow and taking him in little by little, but every time you end up with mascara smeared all over your eyes, spit mixed with precum dripping down your chin. and your mouth full of his cum. bakugo gets impatient, and needs to feel your throat around his cock. he's thrusting into your mouth like he doesn't care that your sobbing, gagging on his cock so hard your stomach aches, because he knows you like it when he's rough with you.
-he's an ass guy. and back shots with him are like no other. he bends you over his work desk, arms pinned to the middle of your back as hers leading his leaky tip to your entrance, ramming it in. a hand sneaks over to the fat of your ass, grabbing a handful as he waits for you to adjust to his size. after all he isn't that mean to make you feel pain. once you give him the green light, he instantly starts pounding into you, watching the as your plush ass ripples with every thrust. even spanking it a couple times.
-prefers to cum on you. don't get him wrong he loves to cum inside, his ego only grows as he watches his cum drips out your hole. but seeing your face, your gorgeous face decorated with the opaque ribbons of his cum, it feeds the possessive side of him. knowing that you're only his. but cumming on your ass? it's just enough to get fully hard again and ready for round two.
-imagine katsuki having you on your stomach, your upper half being shoved into the mattress by one hand. the other hand gripping onto your mouth. he didn't tell you to be quiet, because he doesn't want you to be. he loves hearing your pleas and mewls but he knows how loud you are. the neighbors would be pissed if they heard you two all night. but you enjoy this moment ever more. the angle he's holding you at makes his angry tip ram into that spongey spot repeatedly. making his attempts to silence you go to waste.
-he gets jealous super easily. especially if he notices you're hanging out with Midoryia more than him. you're his. and only his so why should he have to share someone like you with anybody else? he needs you to understand who you belong to, so jealousy sex is a common thing for you two. he's a lot rougher with you, doesn't show you any mercy. he'll keep edging until he gets tired of it, bring you so close to your high only to pull out last second. he needs to let out his frustration some how.
-his favorite position is definitely doggystyle. like I mentioned he's a big ass guy, but he likes the position mainly because you're at his mercy. he controls the speed, going painfully slow or brain numbingly fast. he craves power and control. a big hair puller too, the position allows him to yank on your hair whenever he wishes too. mainly to make you moan louder, or to bring make you listen to all the humiliating things he has to say about you.
₊˚⊹♡ Eijiro Kirishima
-definitely talks you through it. he is big. and he knows it. so the first time he slides himself in, he's peppering you with many kisses to your forehead. holding your hand and telling you about how well you're taking him. he pushes himself in, slowly snd gently do he doesn't hurt you two much. he would hate to see you cry. just reminding you there's only a little bit more to go, snd when you do take all of him in. he tells you how proud of you he is. he's such a sweet gentleman<3
"c'mon just a couple more, I know you can do it princess..."
"you did it baby, took me so well, you feelin' alright?"
-he loves hand holding. mainly because of the size difference. your hand is so much smaller than his. your palms are gentle and soft, contrasting his own. he fingers curl around yours perfectly, almost like they were meant to be together. but his favorite part is whenever you squeeze his hand. it makes him feel so strong. like you're telling him you feel safe with him, he just loves all the intimacy.
-he's a decent eater, he can get the job done of course. but nothing will ever compare to his fingers. they're long and wide, and at the perfect size to make you see stars. his digits curl just right while they thrust repeatedly. and his thumb is focused on your clit, rubbing smooth tiny circles on the bud. making your back arch and pelvis shake from the pleasure.
-hes such a gentleman, and he prioritizes your pleasure of his. one way he shows you this is by always making sure you cum before him. no matter what the situation is. he could pissed at you, but he'd still make sure that you cream all over his wide fingers before focusing on his own throbbing erection.
-is super big on consent. he does not play around about that. he would never EVER want to hurt you in any way, so he always triple checks to make sure you're okay with everything. always asking before he slips your panties of you, or reminding you that you don't need to force yourself for him. he also does not play about that mumbling stuff. he needs to hear an audible answer from you're lips before he can continue.
"you know better than that baby, c'mon use your words"
₊˚⊹♡ Hanta Sero
-he's such a tease. always leading you on, whether that be the heated make out sessions, or the way he whispers dirty things into your ear in public. he'll even pretend that he didn't just tell you how much he wants to bend you over the restaurant table and fuck you dumb Infront of all the people here. he doesn't actually mean it, it's all just to rile you up for later.
-has a big humiliation kink. it's so selfish but he can't help it. hanta lives to see your cheeks flush a baby pink as you hide your face away from him. he find it's so cute, knowing how easily he can break apart your attitude so quickly. he's always reminding you of how dirty you sound moaning for him like this, or how pathetic you look struggling to take all of him in your mouth.
-a big wrist holder. type of guy to always pin your wrists above your head as his hips buck into you swiftly. you're at his grace and he has all the control right now, which he tease you about of course. you look so desperate and downright helpless being held like this that's he can't help but remind you of it.
-this ties in with humiliation, but he also has a really bad dumbification kink. he wants to fuck you so dumb you won't even be able to straight for the rest of the night. whenever he's thrusting up into you as you run your mouth babbling about how good he's making you feel, hanta just wears the most shit eating grin ever. because everything you're saying doesn't make sense, not even in the slightest but his ego boosts exponentially knowing he can get you in a state like this.
-he loves THIGHS. especially if they have stretch marks or cellulite on them. he finds them so appealing. your thighs looks so soft and plushy, he can't help but just want to lay on them. but his favorite thing about them is whenever he's eating you out and you squeeze them around his head just right. gosh it feels like he's about to suffocate to death, but he wouldn't even be mad about it. he'd let you crush him with your thighs any day of the week.
-if you had one complaint about hanta, it would be about how many hickeys he would leave on you. after every night you'd wake up to finding hickeys all over your body. you see it as mainly annoying yet a little cute, but hanta does it just for both his own pleasure and for his possessiveness. seeing you marked up because of him just turns him on so much especially seeing your inner thighs decorated in the purplish red bruises. everyone knows who gave you all them too, giving him the greedy satisfaction he craves.
₊˚⊹♡ Denki Kaminari
-he is such a pervert. and he doesn't even hide it. now he's not like mineta, he's not going to go around and flirt with every girl he sees and harass them. no, his eyes are only focused on you. and just you. and whatever he does, he always makes sure that you're okay with it of course but that's not stopping him from whispering dirty things in your ears when you're in public. the worst part is, whenever you confront him about it he'll play dumb, acting like nothing ever happened.
-both an ass and tits guy. denki can't just pick one, they're both so hot to him. lowcut and tight shirts have him in a chokehold. he loves the way your boobs are somewhat exposed in low cut shirts, and tight shirts that show you're figure make him feel all mushy. but on top of that, he's a sucker for short miniskirts and short shorts. anything which just reveals your shape just makes him want to act up.
-the biggest tease you'll ever meet. he will mes with you about everything. did you just squirt on him? yeah he's never letting you forget that. oh did you want him to go faster? he'll make sure to go extra slow for you. he does it all just to make you angry (he finds it oddly hot seeing you annoyed) but his favorite part is teasing the tip of his cock into your entrance. no matter how much you beg for him, he'll repeat his painfully annoying little actions. only stopping whenever he feels like you've waited enough. overall he's just so unserious.
-D1 eater. that man knows what he's doing. well scratch that, no he doesn't. he doesn't know what he's doing to be real with you, he's eating mainly for his own selfish pleasure. drool and arousal is all over his chin but he doesn't care, he hasn't had enough yet. his tongue is thrusting into your hold viciously as a finger is rubbing desperate circles on your bud, even sending a couple light zaps to help him stimulate you.
-his favorite position is definitely cowgirl. it's the way you're on full display for him, tits bouncing as you grind yourself on him. he also likes the position because it allows you to have control. denki is a big switch and wouldn't mind you taking the lead for once, and if he needs to he won't hesitate to lift you up by the hips and thrust up into you.
-BIG dumbification kink. for both himself and you. seeing you so cock-drunk turns him on so much, because you look so good. your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead as your eyes are half lidded and hazy. but on the other side, he wants you to the same to him. denki secretly wants you to ride him so well that he short circuits and can't think straight. the effect your wet clammy pussy has on him puts him in a trance.
₊˚⊹♡ Hitoshi Shinsou
-LOVES THIGHS. he is 100% a thigh guy. he doesn't care what you do to him. you could try to crush his head and he'd thank you for it. his favorite part though, is whenever you sit down and your skirt rides up your thighs, exposing so much more. just seeing your bare exposed thighs only makes his thoughts even worse than normal.
-headboard grabber!! he definitely is rough with his thrusts and grips the headboard to steady himself. and he looks so good doing it. imagine hitoshi, all sweaty and looking back down at you with his natural sleepy eyes as you both lose yourself to the overwhelming pleasure. he looks absolutely majestic.
-hes definitely into somno. of course he'd only act on it if he had your consent. but once you gave him the okay, the stars aligned for hitoshi. we all know he's an insomniac and that he usually has trouble sleeping, so it's not unusual to wake up, feeling his girth stretching you out in the middle of the night. he'd try to be super gentle and soft at first so you didn't wake up. but he gets impatient quickly and ends up risking it, usually always waking you up.
-A BIG HAIR PULLER. loves to pull your hair, mainly to force you to keep eye contact with him and so he can you're fucked out expression. and the mewl you let out whenever he tugs on your hair extra harshly makes him want to let loose right there. but he's also a big sucker for getting his own hair pulled too. your soft delicate fingers getting entangled in his dark lavender locks,the sensation is merely indescribable.
-he loves it whenever you praise him. he'll act like he doesn't care about it much, but deep down his heart is pounding rapidly. just hearing how good he's making you feel, especially with your shaky voice. it's such a turn on for him. whenever you praise him about anything he melts, feeling so confident in himself. which only lead him to be even more determined to make each time unforgettable
-face sitting with hitoshi is such an experience. imagine this, you've begged him to let you try it, just so you could understand the hype behind it. and hitoshi agrees, pretending to not be just as excited as you. (he's been dreaming of his head being squished with your thighs). but once you lay your cunt over his face, he gets to work. now im not going to lie, yes not the best eater but this position makes up for everything. this man is eating like he's been starved for months. and don't you dare try to live yourself off him, he's only going to pull you back down.
DO NOT COPY/REPOST MY WORK, I will find u lil bro
#smut#mha x reader#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero academia#bnha smut#boku no hero academia#shinsou x reader#shinsou smut#sero x reader#sero smut#denki x reader#denki smut#kirishima x reader#kirishima smut#bakugo smut#bakugo x reader#izuku x reader#izuku smut#mha smut#pleaseeee
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loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !
hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.
also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹
note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞
drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.
“here, drink this.”
you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.
he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.
you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.
he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.
“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”
“no, ‘m not. you are.”
“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”
“whatever. guilty by association.”
he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.
“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”
“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”
he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.
you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?
you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.
you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.
“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”
“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.
“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”
you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.
“you’re kinda pretty too.”
you froze at his words.
pretty?
that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.
“what?”
“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”
“jj, you’re drunk.”
“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”
“you don’t mean that.”
“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”
you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.
you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.
you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.
so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.
“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”
you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.
“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”
“jj, shut up. stop.”
“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”
“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”
“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”
you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.
“you think you like me?”
“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.
“jay, you’re joking.”
he scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”
you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.
“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”
it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.
was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?
you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.
next morning.
you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.
you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.
you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.
he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.
“what do you need?”
“can we talk?”
“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”
you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.
“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”
he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.
“i told you that?”
“yeah, you did.”
“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”
“kinda?”
“no. not kinda.”
he said, rubbing a hand over his face.
he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.
“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”
“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”
you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.
“kinda? you’re serious?”
“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”
“shut up.”
“i’m serious, i do.”
“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“i don’t know. i was nervous.”
a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.
finally, jj spoke.
“uh— i’m like really hungover.”
you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.
“that’s what your gonna say?”
“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”
“you could’ve just said that.”
“well, i just did, didn’t i?”
“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”
he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.
you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.
you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.
#jj mayback imagine#jj obx imagine#jj maybank#jj obx#jj angst#jj mayback x reader#jj#jj maybank x reader#jj outer banks#jj maybank prompt#jj obx fic#obx au#rafe obx#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx imagine#obx#obx x reader#obx rp
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Consider... Dr. Ratio getting a (yandere?) crush on a student from a different department. Not one of his students. Meet-cute without his stone head on so the student doesn't know he's *that* professor. Poor student has no idea who their new friend is they're opening up to
My favorite request thus far! Im gonna try my best, anon.
I imagine it happens when student reader is running an errand and has to go to the different department for it, and Dr Ratio is someone they meet along the way in a bit of a secluded corner, tapping his foot and thinking deeply, maybe even saying things out loud to himself when student reader chimes in and asks about it. One thing leads to another and you actually end up getting along.
I imagine it happens again, once in a while, every two weeks or so, and Dr. Ratio doesn't quite introduce himself – he probably assumes as a student you're well aware of things, and just doesn't feel the need to, since both of you just talk enough to problem-solve and share opinions and facts. It only starts to dawn on him that you probably don't know him until you bring up one of your classmates who transferred departments talking about their professor with an alabastor head that has no mercy at all. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed as he contemplates whether he even wants to tell you.. but he likes the arrangement both of you have. It's enough that both of you are meeting like this, no? You don't need to know who he "really" is.
And by that time, he doesn't realise just how much he actually likes your company. You open up to him in a leisurely manner, and he's.. pleasantly surprised. Considering Dr. Ratio, I imagine he doesn't actually have people confiding in him, or talking to him normally, since his mind is constantly racing. This change of pace with someone who actually understands him is enough to keep his attention.
Of course, he needs to tone down his own prodding and pushing. Technically speaking, even "if" he's taken a "bit" of a liking to you, you're still not his student.. it's a pity.
He knows the exact classes you could thrive in, the course material he's sure you would devour, and the exact assignments he's recently sent out to his students that he knows you'd accomplish well. Sometimes during your conversations, he throws in a few topics and suggests that.. ahem, Dr. Ratio's course covers thoroughly. It feels weird to refer to himself in third person, but he adjusts naturally, and he has to stop himself from immediately getting on the defensive when you point out your own issues with his infamously rigorous course.
Of course, it has nothing to do with the fact he wants to see you more often, even if it means you'll recognize him as a professor with his alabastor head on instead of your new friend that's a bit eccentric. He would love having you as a student, just the potential you have is enough to excite him. The smile on your face after you solve a difficult problem, your rambling about the amount of homework your useless professors have drowned you with, the chirp in your voice as you call out to him in greeting, still unsure of what his name is.. surely, management won't say anything if Dr. Ratio himself takes matters into his own hands and transfer you into his department?
And when you turn up to his office, his alabastor head is on as he effortlessly shoots down any of your protests.
But.. if you continue being uncooperative, fine. Go back to your own department. It doesn't take much to sabotage, Veritas has learned. Just a bit of setting up is enough to ruin your assignments, destroy some of your projects, tarnish your reputation among your professors.. it's simple. Now, now.. instead of trying to problem-solve, why don't you just listen to that eccentric, strange friend of yours and join his department instead? He'll help you out thoroughly.
It doesn't take long after you've shifted departments, and you find out your strange new friend was your stubborn, unhearing professor.. now, it's a pity, but you'll have to stay after classes. Hm? No, no. He won't bother listening to you. You have a lot to cover, and now that he's not keeping any secrets from you, he wants to hear everything about you in thorough detail. Don't think about getting away, either. He'll talk with security and management to allow you to stay much further after hours. No one's willing to help you escape. Now.. there's so much material to cover, so let him teach you on a personal level. That should get you going more easily.
He decides on keeping his alabastor head aside, staring intently at you as you scribble away the mountains of assignments he's just given. You're not allowed to get distracted. If you even so much as lift your head to look aside from him, or your homework, he's quick to guide you by his fingers on your chin towards him, a scowl on his face. For goodness' sake, at least look at your professor if you want to stop writing. He's still your little friend, isn't he? How about you tell him all about that classmate you were getting so chummy with? Don't lie now – he saw everything. It doesn't matter that he's in a different department, it's better if he knows. You're both.. close,no? This is just something friends share with each other. Or do you need an extra lesson taught by him personally?
#moonink#hsr#honkai star rail#yandere hsr x you#yandere hsr x reader#yandere hsr#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere honkai star rail#dr ratio hsr#dr ratio x reader#hsr dr ratio#hsr dr ratio x reader#yandere dr ratio#dr ratio#hsr veritas ratio#veritas ratio x you#veritas ratio hsr#veritas ratio x reader#veritas ratio#yandere veritas ratio#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x y/n#hsr x you#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#dr ratio x gender neutral reader#dr ratio x you#dr ratio x y/n
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Hey darling!!! Been stalking your blog and I love it?? Like hello?
Also, since reqs seem to be open, may I ask for either some more elaboration on the store-bought Izuku drabble? (Something like a little while into the future, when reader actually falls for him?)
Or maybe a part 2 to the project partner fic with Katsuki? I read it and it just broke my heart I want him to be happy😭
No pressure for either one obviously, love ya!
hiii, yes requests are always open!! (for now at least) i will elaborate on store bought izuku, im unsure about continuing project partner rn ! elaboration on this drabble.
the sound of the door opening rings in izuku’s ears, his face perks up, body bolting around the corner leaving the kitchen into the living space- he needs to see you immediately.
the weekdays are insufferable for izuku- he’s forced to spend the majority of the day alone as he runs around cleaning your space and cooking you a meal as he awaits your return.
his ears go bright red when he sees you- he greets you the same way he has everyday for the past 3 months, barely waiting for you to remove your shoes and coat before he pounces on you- grasping your body against his.
he digs his nose into your neck- often times taking deep inhales as though breathing you in. he really does miss you immensly everyday.
your eventually forced to pat him off- much to his dismay as he trails behind you, following as you walk around the house- tending to small things and he talks your ear off.
“izuku- please. calm down for a second- i have to talk to you.”
interrupting his rambling nerves shoot up his body like electricity- heart pounding in his chest so loud that he’s afraid you’ll hear it.
you get him settled down for dinner- your wish to have this conversation over food only makes him even more worried.
the silence in the room is choking- hearing the increase in taps from izukus foot colliding with the floor you decide to show him mercy.
“so i’ve been thinking-” the dread in his stomach forces him to speak before he can think- interrupting your sentence before you get to finish it.
“w-whatever i’ve done to upset you im sorry! please- it won’t happen again!” looking at him you take note that tears in his eyes are threatening to spill- it’s now when you realise how truly terrified he is at the idea that he’d done something wrong- a strike of sympathy hits your chest.
“izuku darling, you have to let me finish.” you give him a warm smile in an attempt to somewhat calm him nerves before you continue- catching the spark in his eyes when look into his- izuku truly believes your smile may be the most beautiful in the world.
“i was thinking- maybe- you would like to start spending the night in my room?” his breath catches in his throat- finding himself unable to make a sound- unsure if he’d heard you correctly.
seeing the expecting look in your eye he gives you a meek nod- that’s all you need.
izuku does spend the night in your room that night- uncharacteristically weary of your personal space before you tell him it’s okay- you invited him here.
for the first time since he met you- store bought izuku falls asleep in your arms- head resting deep into your chest- holding you so tight he can hear your heartbeat. deciding this is where he belongs-
with you.
i love love love doing requests so please don’t hesitate to send them in!!
#storebought!izuku#mha x reader#bnha x reader#fanfiction#mha x female reader#mha fanfiction#sub izuku#izuku midoriya x reader#izuku midoryia#izuku x y/n#izuku x reader#izuku midoriya#midoriya x reader
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Hiiii!!!! Uuhh sorry I get a bit awkward to approach new people but oh my god I needed to say that I absolutely love your work!! Im truly a fan!! Your Fierce Deity fics bring me to life and I cant stop thinking about it <333
Not sure if this idea is interesting enough but I cant stop thinking about it and I thought you could maybe like it!!
I keep thinking about Reader talking with the Fierce Deity's mask (imagining he still sealed in the mask) like he was physically there, just rambling. We could show him the sky and the grass, mundane things, talk about our thoughts and ask questions to him, like what is it like to be a god and if he is happy with his life.
One question that also pops a lot in my mind is asking what gods thought of humans or maybe, what he thought of them, of us!! Ofc he doesnt respond bc he is inside the mask but then one day he is off of it and he remembers each and every question we ever asked, and is willing to answer them all NFKENFKWFKWKKFKWKDKW
Its just an idea, you dont really have to do it, but everytime I think about it or Fierce in general, I cant help but also think about you <333
Im really glad I found your work!! I hope we can be friends!! :DDD
I wish you a lovely day my little leaf!! Toodlessss 🍃🍃🍃
𖠰 Woods 𖠰
Okay first of all, this idea this absolutely amazing!! I'll have you know I was practically VIBRATING with excitement while reading this! You have no idea how stoked I am to receive asks like this, so do not feel bad at all for sharing! Also what we're literally already besties <3
Man In The Mask
Pairing: Fierce Deity x Reader
Warning(s): N/A
Masterlist
What are you?
It was a question the Fierce Deity had heard a thousand times, often accompanied by blood and blaze: a question of those he protected... and those he did not, whispered on the heels crimson-dripped lips and frightful eyes. He was a god of war, and thus not one to engage in the folly of mortals. Orders were his foundation, and steel his soul, wrapped in a righteous evil that not even the goddesses could bear to gaze upon.
Which is why he felt nothing short of hedonistic when it fell from the lips of the paltry mortal's holding the wretched mask that trapped him centuries earlier. Voice soft and eyes softer, touch featherlight on the chipped edges of his prison. There were thumbs on the apples of his 'cheeks', and the deity was caught between rage and sorrow. Tumultuous emotions were not his strong suit, and neither was restraint, from the way things were looking.
He didn't need to stand before them to feel their weakness, as was typical of most humans, but there was an ember in your eyes that seemed to burn with a light he didn't dare remember, shining like a beacon in the night.
"I wonder who painted you," the human, you, mused, stroking again over the half-glossed finish of the mask. Gentle, comforting, and utterly indecipherable to the deity inside. "You're so dusty; did Time even polish you?"
Why... Why was that relevant? Never in his wildest thoughts had the Fierce Deity expected Time to intrust his 'care' to a human, much less you. His very existence was a burden; how could a so-called hero willingly place something so... so destructive in the hands of, well, he considered you quite innocent to the tribulations of war and bloodshed and sorrow.
But what could he do but wait, snug under your arm, as you prattled on about anything and everything. The notion that you were naive enough to talk to a mere mask, of all things. Had you no sense? No discretion? It was a question he often asked himself, though only because there was no one else to answer.
That didn't stop his dull wonderings on whether you would ask such questions if he stood before you in the flesh. Would you cower? Fight? Flee? Perhaps he would remember the words that fell from your mouth, just to prove himself right once again.
***
The Fierce Deity mask weighed heavy in your hands as you plodded down the small path towards home. A thick forest bordered you from the east, while a blooming prairie stretched as far as the eye could see from the west. There was no doubt in your mind that you were incredibly lucky to live where you did, a fact that was only exemplified by the nine heroes that had crashed into your life (and living room) through a portal that looked straight out of Coraline or some shit.
Never in a million years would you have expected Time, the distrustful forest child he was, to entrust anything to you, much less a mask that supposedly held the spirit of one of the greatest entities of his world, but you supposed it was only proof that miracles did still exist. Maybe.
Either way, you had taken up the mantle of caring for the mask, and there was no way in hell you were going to screw up. Not that Time would let you, the worrywart, and you were only just beginning to catch him not staring holes into your back.
Chronic mother hens aside, it didn't take a genius to figure out there was something terribly wrong with the item tucked under your arm. Whether it was the crimson and navy facial markings or innocuous radiation of something akin to evil, you had no doubt that Time's warnings were not in jest.
Despite this, you couldn't quite shake the idea of a soul being trapped inside, well, the mask was practically a prison at this point. And maybe, just maybe, you felt a modicum of guilt at the entity's fate. Had he deserved it? Perhaps. Was it cruel? Without a doubt.
Which is why you found yourself taking the Fierce Deity's mask with you when you went to the store, or the library, or simply for a walk in the forest, tucked in your satchel to protect from prying eyes, though you always adjusted the cover so at least one of the eyeholes was free to gaze upon the wonders of your world. It was a small mercy that you were willing to afford, one that quickly spiraled into conversation with the mask itself. You always had a habit of speaking out loud, and now you, presumably, had an ear to listen.
But it was all speculation at this point; Time had never outright confirmed whether a living creature resided within the painted oak, only that it was imbued with an evil so ancient it could challenge the goddesses. You had stopped listening at that point, muttering 'drugs' under your breath, but there was always hope in your tone when you reminisced about the world around you.
With a sigh, you stopped, bringing the mask to the forefront of your vision, thumbs instinctually tracing the crimson stripes on the cheeks. It was baffling that something so beautiful could feel so wrong in your hands. You desperately wished to uncover the truth, to breathe in the big reveal and revel in the known mysteries of life.
"What are you?" The words slipped off your tongue like silk, right enough that you could have chalked it up to fate. The mask felt warm, basked in the fading rays of the golden sun, and you had the distinct feeling of being watched. The pads of your thumbs stroked the raised cheeks of the mask, disturbing a thin layer of dust, as more words spilled forth. "You're so dusty; did Time even polish you?"
It felt strange, talking to the mask as if it was a person, but you were too intrigued to care. If an entity truly resided within, you wondered what he thought of you. Was he impressed? Disgusted? Resigned? You had grown up with the belief that if gods truly existed, their disappointment would be without bounds, but that assumption didn't feel accurate when you stared at the shadowed skin of your palms through the eyeholes.
What horrors had a deity of this caliber seen through eyes of oak... and why were you so desperate to find out?
***
The Fierce Deity was convinced you were either crazy or stupid.
Night had fallen some time ago, filling your small quarters with only the pale light of the moon. His prison sat propped against the contraption you called a 'lamp', facing the bed in which you slept. Your nighttime routine was... unusual, to say the least. In his time, maidens wore long shifts to sleep, while here, you had treated him to the ludicrous sight of what could only be described as the shortest britches he had the displeasure of viewing and a sleeveless rag of a tunic that looked as though you wore it to a scuffle with a large animal, not to mention the sheer audacity you had to undress before the mask without regard for decency. Had the Hero of Time not informed you of his status in this wretched prison, because it was as though you had forgotten or simply didn't care at all?
Whatever the case, it was with much dread that the Fierce Deity only found himself more attracted to the mortal cursed with his care. Your life was, at most, mundane, yet you spoke as though every day was a great adventure, in a tone that could have inspired countless scribes into a flurry of activity. More shocking, however, was how he could feel himself clinging to your every word, like a dog waiting for scraps. He had been alone for so long, and the reality that a mere mortal considered him, well, mortal enough to converse with was a reality he never imagined contesting with.
But, despite how thrown off he was, there was a certain comfort in the quiet nights you spent together, however inadvertently they came to be. After a life of isolation, he found a purpose in the steady rise and fall of your chest, in the snorting giggles of your laughter, and the way you flipped the edge of your pack to grant him sight, never mind that he was fully capable of viewing the world without it. It was for that reason that the rage in his battered soul waned a fraction, leaving a sliver of room for whatever this was, and the reason his mind refused to release thoughts of your whispered queries, always centered on him, whether it be his health, status as a deity, or happiness.
Farfetched as it was, the Fierce Deity, god of war and blood and death, waited hours for you to wake, unblinking because he would be damned to miss the very moment of your return to the land of the living, the languid stretch your body performed as you groaned softly, rubbing the creases of your eyes with the same gentleness you treated him to. He would study the outfits you wore, committing them all to memory so he could better understand the core of who he considered to be his savior. Maybe then, when he was free, he could begin to repay your kindness–bit by bit, word by word–until distance became more of a myth that him, and your tender warmth could be validated by more than just a paltry mask. Your very breath became his meaning, your soul his muse, and the Fierce Deity was sure he would never forget it.
But in the meantime, perhaps he would remember the words that fell from your mouth, just to prove you right once again.
I can't begin to express how beautiful this felt to write. The Fierce Deity truly is my muse.
ALSO there will be a part two, so keep your eyes peeled!
#fierce deity x reader#linked universe#introspective#loz fanfic#loz link#existential romance#fierce deity#fierce daddity contests with the reality of someone actually caring about him#linked universe x reader
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peace and quiet
pairing: Villanelle x Assassin!F!Reader
tags/warnings: sexual content, car sex, dirty talk, fingering, edging (18+, mdni)
a/n: bet ya didn't see this coming 😏 truthfully, i've had this scenario on my mind for about a month now. i had to write this before i got through the rest of my drafts. im also a bottom!villanelle fan oops enjoy! gif credit.
The last way you wanted to spend your Friday evening was stuck in a Ford Fiesta with the world's most infuriating assassin, Villanelle. But here you both were, cramped and cranky as you wasted hours watching a man go through his nightly routine. Truthfully, you didn't know much about your target except his name, James Fitzgerald. His dossier was light and you suspected that further information wasn't yours to know.
As your handler would say: the less you knew, the better.
Silently, you watched as James moved from room to room in his home; starting in his bedroom, wandering into the kitchen, and finally, settling into the living room. Couldn't the Twelve have a vendetta against someone more interesting?
The blonde next to you must have thought the same thing. Immediately, she turned the radio on, flicking through the stations until she hummed in approval.
"Oh, I love Britney," she muses, beginning to sing along to the chorus of Womanizer as it pumps through the car's surround sound system.
You refrain from groaning.
"Villanelle, I need you to stop." Your voice is strained as your eyes are trained in front of you.
She's completely off-key but sings without a care in the world. Obviously, she's ignoring you and you exhale slowly, squeezing your eyes shut. Villanelle was good at what she did. Great even. But her hyperactive nature and flair for dramatics made you dread any time the two of you had to work together.
It wasn't just her obnoxious nature that made it so difficult for you to work with her. From the outlandish yet stylish outfits she donned to the way she held herself on and off the job, you thought she was stunning. But now, being in such close quarters only seemed to intensify those feelings. Your stomach did somersaults at each pesky thought, unable to get them out of your head quick enough. Entertaining those ideas was a distraction you couldn't afford.
Not in this line of work.
It's just one mission, you find yourself thinking, blinking your eyes open. I just need to get through one mission with her and then—
And then you will work with her again when the Twelve will it. You will still have these terribly ridiculous feelings that you will, once again, have to dissect like you are now. You grit your teeth and instead focus your boring gaze on James Fitzgerald's wrinkled forehead.
Wordlessly, you turn the radio knob towards you, muting the music so you can focus. Villanelle's contralto voice cuts through the silence like a blade and it takes her a few moments to realize what you've done.
"Hey! I was having fun!"
You roll your eyes, tapping your fingertips against the steering wheel.
"I wasn't."
Villanelle scoffs, feigning offense before leaning back. Aggressively, she adjusts her seat, allowing it to fully recline. She lays down, eyes glued to the car ceiling before crossing her arms over her chest petulantly.
You were ready to further accentuate her childishness as she muttered about how you were a 'party pooper,' but paused. James was getting up and walking towards his front door. He was letting someone inside, holy shit! This needed to be documented.
In the dark, you felt for your phone that was supposed to be on the console. Miscalculating, you reached over farther than necessary and instead grabbed—
Villanelle gasped, body arching forward.
Oh.
Your fingers gripped the flesh of her inner thigh, dangerously close to the hem of her shift dress. Blush immediately crawls over your cheeks and you become a stammering mess.
"Oh my god," you ramble, going to remove your hand. "I'm so sorry, Villanelle. I thought that—"
You don't get to finish your sentence. Her hand is over yours and she shoves your palm in between her legs. The wet cotton of her underwear greets your fingers and the heat it emits makes you flatline.
This wasn't real. None of this could be real.
"I know how you look at me."
The statement throws you off kilter and you gape like a fish. Were you that obvious? The idea makes you nauseous; how the hell did Villanelle know your feelings better than you could even comprehend them?
"Stop thinking," she husks and her confidence seems to spread to you like wildfire.
James Fitzgerald and his unannounced guest are long forgotten as you shift in your seat, turning to face Villanelle. Your finger pads inquisitively drag up the length of her clothed slit. Her breathing grows heavier the closer you stroke towards her clit. You can make out her teeth digging into her lower lip and the mischievous glint in her eyes as she stares back at you.
She’s begging you to keep her entertained.
Cautiously, you pull your hand away. The loss of contact squeezes a whimper from her throat, but it dies as she watches you slip two fingers between your lips. You suck slowly, refusing to break eye contact with her before releasing them with a soft pop. You don’t miss the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
“Are you going to behave?” Villanelle nods like a bobblehead, practically rutting her body closer to where your hand used to be.
You chuckle. “Good girl.”
Wet fingers glide up her bare leg, meeting at the junction just below her thigh and cunt. Gently, your fingers worm underneath the waistband of her underwear. Painfully slow, you tug them down so that they pool at her knees. They are soaked and the sound of the blonde’s panting is amplified in the enclosed quiet of the car.
"Oh baby," you taunt, watching as she presses her thighs together. You want to swallow her whole.
"Is this all for me?"
"Yes," she sighs out instantaneously, parting her legs as your hand connects back to her cunt.
Your middle finger delicately slides through Villanelle's folds, exploring her velvety flesh. Tracing circles around her labia, you finally brush just underneath her clit. She jerks forward, desperately chasing your touch.
"Villanelle." Her name is a warning on your tongue, tutting gently as you watch her squirm. Your middle finger is fixed in the same position and her fingers curl around your wrist.
"Be nice," she pleads and no matter what your plan was initially, you couldn't deny her further. You nod and gently, your middle finger sinks inside her.
Villanelle tenses momentarily, adjusting to the intrusion before relaxing. She squeezes your wrist, silently goading you to move. You comply, thrusting deeper inside of her.
Your finger moves leisurely at first, more so to savor the first-time feeling of her silky flesh enveloping you. Gradually, you pick up the pace. Her slick drools down the length of your finger and the obscene squelching makes you blush.
Thank god for the dark.
A stream of moans bubbles from Villanelle's throat as her fingernails dig into your wrist. Her other hand moves to her lips, her teeth sinking into the knuckle of her index finger to muffle herself. In response, your finger curls inside of her. She keens, her eyes rolling back as she shoves her hips forward.
"Don't do that," you chide, pumping against the spongy walls of her cunt. "I want everyone to hear how good I'm gonna fuck you."
Her gaze peeks through her lashes, blinking in surprise at the vulgarity of your statement. She's beautifully flushed and the image is seared into your mind. Your ring finger presses inside of her and she gasps, finally removing her hand from her mouth.
"Don't be mean," Villanelle mewls and you can't stop the smile tugging at your lips.
By now, the windows have fogged over in the car. The air between you has risen at least ten degrees higher and you match Villanelle's ragged panting, hyperfocused on every expression she makes. Her hair fans out like a golden halo, illuminating her furrowed brows and parted lips. You want to kiss her, but you instead settle for swiping your thumb across her clit.
Villanelle's chest heaves when you suddenly piston your fingers inside her. She sloppily pushes down to meet your thrusts while her head lolls back against the car seat. By the way her walls fluttered against your sheathed digits, you knew her orgasm was imminent.
James Fitzgerald's departure was also imminent.
Suddenly, the flash of headlights appears in your peripheral vision. A midsized sedan rushes past the front of your rental car. James is driving while his guest in question is in the passenger seat. Your eyes go wide; the memory of exactly why you and Villanelle were here to begin with hits you like a truck.
You withdraw your fingers from Villanelle's pussy and she cries out in both confusion and frustration. Scrambling, she pulls the seat back up so she can properly glower at you.
"What the fuck?" She yells, softening only slightly as she watches you suck your fingers clean before putting the car in drive.
"It's James," you start, pressing the defogger button near the bottom of the dashboard. "I'm gonna tail him."
"I was about to cum!"
You glance at Villanelle quickly as she complains, tossing a cocky smirk in her direction.
"I guess you'll just have to wait then."
#villanelle#villanelle x reader#villanelle x you#villanelle smut#villanelle imagine#oksana astankova#oksana astankova x reader#killing eve#lesbian#wlw#lgbtq#smut#fanfiction#fanfic
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if you have paid any attention to my ramblings on my process, you know that i tend to rethink my comics and toss out a lot of work if im not satisfied with how it turned out. so i thought id share some previews of comics that have gone unseen, and why they havent been posted (yet?) in order of how likely i am to finish and/or post them :)
(under cut bc long post)
Be nice to each other: Main 4. Tomtord/Polyworld, angst. 4 pages. Matt confronts Tom and Tord on how have been acting, accidentally compelling them into saying how they really feel.
Status: abandoned.
I drew this one quite a while ago and i still really like the dialogue and character interactions i wrote for it! vampire hypnosis is a super cool concept and im definitely going to use it in the future, but this ultimately didnt pan out how i wanted it to.
Why it's not posted: while the buildup and climax are really good, this would be a huge mess to clean up. this would require some serious work both between the four of them and on my part for writing and drawing all of that!! plus, it would totally change the relationship dynamic between Tom and Tord, possibly ending it altogether (and i still have so much i want to do with them!!!)
Ed and Edd: Eduardo, Edd, Eduardo's mother. No pairings, angst. 3 pages. Eduardo can't wait to introduce himself at school, but he's got competition for the name he chose.
Status: abandoned.
Trans Eduardo is such a good concept. imagine figuring out who you are only to find out someone else already is that. of course you're going to hate them.
Why it's not posted: two main reasons. one is that i couldn't figure out how to end the comic (a recurring theme lol), but another is that i'm still not super confident with writing Eduardo yet. ...or writing children. so kid Eduardo is a challenge.
Can't tell where you're looking: Tommatt, fluff. 3 pages. Tom isn't as sneaky as he thinks he is.
Status: on my list!
Tommatt fans, i have heard your pleas i have received your asks. it's on my list.
Why it's not posted: i had a great idea, drew several pages, thought about it, and decided it sucked, actually. it can be reworked, but my motivation did not get out unscathed.
Bad (?) Dream: Tomtord, uh.... yeah thats just smut huh. 2 pages. A bad dream for one and a good dream for the other.
Status: ???
I'm not saying SHIT.
Why it's not posted: originally, it was because i didn't want to post suggestive stuff on this blog. now, it's because i found better ways to cover the concepts in this comic. Y'all will simply have to wait and see ;)
Matt figures it out: Matt, Tom. could be Tommatt. hurt/comfort. a collection of random sketches. Matt figures out how to turn into a bat! It sucks!
Status: on my list!
I've been wanting to talk about this SOOOO BAD!!! because why would you transform in a second via a poof of smoke when it could be an hour-long painful disturbing process?! honestly could be described as hurt/comfort/hurt.
Why it isn't posted: well for one it barely counts as a comic, just random sketches and a general idea. to be fair thats how most of my comics start, but... you know. i havent worked on it in a while mainly because the characters need to solve some personal problems first.
Not tonight: Tordmatt. fluff/suggestive. 2 pages. Matt's got pointy ears again, and Tord knows what that means!
Status: on my list!
TORDMATT FANS I HAVE ALSO HEARD YOUR PLEAS! Also, yippee i get to infodump about my headcanons via a comic
Why it's not posted: unfinished, and i hit a bit of a road block. usually its in writing, but this time its in the art half! so i have no idea how to get around it yet!!!
Puberty sucks fr. imagine losing an eye: Tom, Tom's mother. no pairings. angst. 3 pages. When did Tom's eyes change?
Status: on my list!
You all remember the soul-crushing existential grief that started at the same time as puberty, right? No, just me? Huh.
Why it isn't posted: layout isn't quite what im looking for :/ also, a half-naked child on tumblr, even in a completely non-sexual context, is something i am slightly apprehensive about!
Something's wrong: Main 4. Polyworld, angst/suggestive. 20+ pages. Tom doesn't feel well. Edd, Matt, and Tord try to help.
Status: actively working on it
Oh, you guys remember that poll? Haha thats funny. Yeah i'm still working on this one.
Why it isn't posted: uh its not done yet. and also i am unsure of whether or not it will be allowed on tumblr. or whether or not i want people to speculate on my entire deal.
...and while i'm here:
Communication comic part 6: IN PROGRESS!! these idiots need to establish boundaries. all of them. i believe <3
Zombie Tord part 4: ON MY LIST! i want to get through the communication comic first :3
thank u for reading all my ramblings :D! i am so fucking excited to continue working on all of my dumb shit and i am so happy that ppl like said dumb shit
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idk if you guys are accepting rqs but ive been following since yall started so might as well shoot my shot 😹🤫
i am in desperate need of sugishita (windbre) x reader so may i request general dating hcs for a sugi x gn!reader who comes off as standoffish/cold but is really chatty when getting to know them??
THE PERSONALITY IS SELF INDULGENT BUT LIFES TOO SHORT and i wanna keep it vague sorry im rambling im nervous but thank you if you do!!! 💖💖
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ❝ 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐃 ! ❞
⋆.˚ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. s.kyotaro x reader .
⋆.˚ ��𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. general dating headcanon with our underrated favorite character, sugishita kyotaro <3 boy deserves much more love guys .
⋆.˚ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. ~0.99k . IT'S A LOT .
⋆.˚ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. fluff. lots of fluff I think. gn!reader. It's my first time writing headcanons and gender neutral reader ( gender doesn't get mentioned though ). but I tried my best, anon. expect to be a little disappointed. still hoping you'll enjoy this though !! spoiler - free. <3
୨୧ How did you two meet? Well, good question.
୨୧ But I imagine you both definitely met through Umemiya. Like there aren't any reasons why you two should talk to each other. You're a student from another high school of course, not in Furin like Sugishita and Umemiya is. How you met umemiya is a different story.
୨୧ Umemiya needs to do a lot so the two of you can get more comfortable with each other as if he was the bridge between two quiet cities, he does it unconsciously although. If he wasn't there, you'd probably stare at each other before returning to your own matters. You seemed like a cold person in Sugishita's eyes and Sugishita seemed like he would easily burst when not around Umemiya.
୨୧ At first you thought he was rather hostile towards you, not really fond with the idea of someone other next to Umemiya, someone who's not even from Furin. And whenever he parted his lips to tell to you something, you thought he would threaten you in some way so you'd leave his precious Umemiya alone. He of course noticed your wariness, deciding to leave you alone so you wouldn't feel more uncomfortable next to him.
୨୧ Seems like you misunderstood his actions though, since the reason behind his actions was once again Umemiya. Only because Umemiya mentioned it would be nice if you two understood each other. Yeah now you felt bad.
୨୧ After learning this fact, you decided you should take the first step and apologizing for the misunderstanding. Sugishita accepted and took the opportunity to get to know you better.
୨୧ To be honest, the first few interactions were quite awkward as you both watered Umemiya's plants, not knowing how to start a conversation or have a small talk. And damn, small talks are weird—weird awkward. But after some time, you got more and more comfortable, starting to converse with him about random things and enjoying to yap about the last few days.
୨୧ Sugishita remains quiet while listening to your rambles and even caring enough to reply your questions or suggestions. Ah, the cold persona faded and it turns out you were a real chatty person who could smile a lot around people you feel comfortable with. Even if he doesn't admit it, he feels a bit honored to be a person you can get comfortable with.
୨୧ Yeah one day you started dating which surprised the most. You don't seem to fit each other and your personalities didn't match. Oh how wrong they were...
୨୧ I would imagine that he takes the chance to pick you up from school from time to time while patrolling the town, also walking behind of the rest of the group so you both are alone and have your own peace, not noticing how the others always glance back to you with a curious gleam in their eyes.
୨୧ Well, you either hang out on the rooftop of Furin, at yours or walk through the town. I promise you, even if you both walk pass a street hundreds of times, you both just don't care, still enjoying every bit and savoring every second.
୨୧ Surprisingly, he also spends less time with Umemiya than before, rather using his free time to spend it with you and to listen to your daily rambles. Wow Umemiya did the work of an Angel and he is proud that the relationship works out for both of you, god he's so happy for you two.
୨୧ Except him to beat the shit out of anyone who has ill intentions towards you, who glares at you, who speaks shit about you— the list goes on and on. Don't be surprised if he goes away for a sec, just to return with some bruises ( if that person managed to land a hit on him, that is ).
୨୧ Loves, loves, loves, LOVES when you patch him up after a fight and when you fuss about him. It just shows how much you care about him. And he is silently savoring every second of it, also using this to get your affections and comfort. He is not a baby. But he secretly is ( only a bit though ). If you tell someone about this side of his other than Umemiya, expect him to be not fond of getting patched up by you anymore ( he still loves it ). He's just a bit sad that you "betrayed" him. It was supposed to his peace between you two. So please don't tell anyone. Please.
୨୧ Imagine you get hurt infront of him. Yeah now the hell breaks out and his inner demon is showing. The dude who hurt you probably sleeps in the hospital for some weeks.
୨୧ He would inwardly blame himself for getting you into his shit while staying by your side the whole time. If the accident was really bad that you're also in the hospital, he would ask Umemiya to skip school so he can stay beside you and Umemiya, knowing the kind of guy he is, allowed him to. At this point, he would quietly follow you everywhere around, making other patients wonder. If you need to pee, he would stand infront of the door of course.
୨୧ Sugishita even spends two third of his time with you, not making the same mistake again and protects you from any danger. You know how proud he would if you can fight? You're so badass, is his only thought. Well there are a lot of other praises in his mind.
୨୧ Girl, if you ever worry that he doesn't love you, because he doesn't show much affection, worry not. If there are times he puts you over Umemiya, be assured. And if he puts you over Umemiya all the time, you shouldn't even dare to worry. He even cares to listen to your stories and remembers what your favorite things are.
୨୧ On your birthday, there will be a basket of your favorite things in his hand. Cause he LOVES you.
© 2024 kumasakka — do not plagiarize , copy , modify , translate our work !
a/n's note — I HOPE HE ISN'T TOO OOC. by the way don't worry about rambling in your request <3 I'd love to listen.
#❨🎐❩ 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀 :: shitpost.#wind breaker#wb#wind breaker x reader#wb x reader#anime#manga#sugishita kyotaro#kyotaro sugishita#sugishita x reader#x reader
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so. yeonkai au. reader/mc got her first kiss with kai (and, well, he got his with her too), so it basically means one of them took her viginity (i guess...?)
so. which one?
it's like... assuming kai is nervous af, maybe yeonjun said he'd be the one because kai could be awkward and hurt her or something like that "no offense, man, but her comfort is top priority".
orrrr yeonjun could say "nah. you two lose it in the same time, go ahead, i'll guide and lend a hand if it's needed and prepare her, but kai's the one to do it".
i do feel like it's actually the second one, because the first one is just what my yeonjun-biased brain wants me to think.
not a request just a thought pls
warnings: nsfw yeonkai x reader thoughts (mostly me just rambling)
Omg i missed you! But how have i never thought about this before? When i wrote about kai and reader being each other's first kiss i had that idea in my head for so long but never who took whose virginity. But i agree more with the second one. I think yeonjun is mostly a watcher/ seconds is best kind of partner in this throuple lol i always make him go last and i think it has to do with nostalgia of the first time, same as bringing up the kiss in movie date.
I find yeonjun in the yeonkai au to be very giving. He wants to see reader experience pleasure more than he wants to receive it/ he gets pleasure from watching and wanting reader. Versus kai who i see as, yes wanting to give reader pleasure but also is overcome with his own need in the end. I think he wouldn't even realize he was chasing his own high until he notices that to achieve peak pleasure he needs reader to cum along with him. But he learns early on in their relationship that most of what gives him pleasure also gives reader pleasure. So at first although he is awkward and shy its okay bc they are so new to sex and they have yeonjun to help talk them through it. I'm basing this all off of busy signal as well and kai not being able to get reader off that one time and that being why he's so shy about initiating sex and because yeonjun is so open about wanting reader, kai would be kind of worried that he wants reader too much im comparison and worried he will forget and focus on himself (although he never does)
So i think yeonjun would get reader off first, prepping her with oral, and then letting kai take over. Who in turn gets off too fast because it's his first time and yeonjun then replaces him and gets himself and reader off again.
I don't know if any of this made sense lol and sorry if it's just me rambling but I'm so happy to have questions like this lol I'm always thinking about them anyway.
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☆◞: IM ALWAYS JUST A DOOR AWAY ✧ SPENCER REID
SUMMARY: after blowing up at your neighbor, you and your friend decide to have a night out to help you with stress. what could go wrong?
GENERAL WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol and alcohol, angsty, arguing, spencer is kind of (definitely) an asshole, kissing, cursing, somewhat darker plot points as story progresses
THIS CHAPTERS CONTAINS: alcohol and alcohol consumption, characters are drunk, cursing, spencer is an asshole, cursing. also if anything is wrong or said wrong ignore it and pretend it’s all correct thanks 💯🥰🫶🏽
GENRE: enemies to lovers, fluff, angst
⋆·˚ ༘ *
chapter 2 : it’s dr. reid
✎ It has been a couple weeks since you blew up at Spencer, and not much has changed. Well, except for your attitude towards him.
You never smiled or waved at him. In fact, if he even glanced at you, you’d quickly roll your eyes before he got the chance.
As you sat in the back at your work, counting tips, you couldn’t help but think about how much you hated him.
God, he’s so stuck up.
He doesn’t even know me.
Wearing a vest doesn’t make you any better than me or anyo-
"(Y/N), are you okay?”
Your coworker (and closest friend), Liv, interrupts your thoughts. She stared at you with a subtle hint of confusion. You hadn’t even realized you'd been zoned out or that you’d been slamming down the cash on the table.
You and Liv met when you first began working here. She was possibly the happiest person you know, and the kindest. She always listened to you ramble about anything, whether it was a stupid hobby, a rude customer, or even the most mundane story about your week.
“Um yeah. Just some problems..” You weren’t even sure how to answer her. Bringing up the situation made you even more furious.
However, Liv became a bit more concerned with this answer.
“Oh no! What’s wrong? Family troubles, a boy?”
You breathe in deeply, trying to suppress the anger building up again before you start talking.
“It’s just... my neighbor.”
Liv leans on the table you sat at, obviously interested in what you have to say. “Go on…”
Her saying that immediately gave your mind the confirmation it needed to go ahead with your rant.
“Well, when I moved in, I wanted to greet him. I don’t know, trying to be neighborly and whatnot, like one does. But.. like..”
You rub your face with your hands. It became clear to you that talking about this would anger you no matter what, so why not just get it over with?
“He’s such a jerk. Like, he interrupted me when I tried to say hello. He even slammed the door in my face.”
Your friend's eyes widen, leaning more towards you, showing her interest. Honestly, even if she wasn’t showing any care whatsoever, the words would’ve kept spewing out regardless. You needed to get this off your chest.
“Oh, and he showed up at my door, telling me to turn my music down. I have no problem with that, but in the same breath, he tells me how I have terrible taste. He said, 'Some of us have jobs and commitments', or whatever bullshit he said to me. Like oh I’m sorry, I never knew because I don’t also work my ass off!”
Your voice gradually became louder, yet you weren’t quite yelling. All Liv does is nod softly, almost as if she knew how much anger and frustration built up inside of you.
“And I live next to him, I can’t avoid him. He’s like the plague! Maybe during the apartment tour, the realtor could’ve been kind enough to give me a heads-up! Maybe like, ‘Oh, by the way, the neighbor is insanely rude and pretentious, so maybe avoid him if you can’, I dunno!”
“Jesus, (Y/N), I’m sorry.” Liv quickly says. Venting to your friend calmed you down a bit, but you were still visibly annoyed.
“It’s fine… It’s not... whatever.” Your body slumps into the chair, the tip money you were previously counting still spread in front of you.
“Let’s go out tonight. You and me!” Liv suggests happily.
The idea sounds nice, but you haven’t been out in what feels like forever. When you moved, you left all of your dresses and more risqué clothing behind to make the move easier. I mean, you didn’t even think you’d have a reason to go out of the house.
“Liv, thanks for the attempt at helping, but I haven’t gone out in so long. I don’t even have going-out clothes.”
"Well, you’re in luck, sweets! I have tons of going-out clothes, or whatever you call them. When I’m out in a couple hours. Finish counting your tips, go home, shower, and I’ll pick you up. No ifs, ands, or buts. See ya!"
With that, she smiles sweetly at you and hurries off, going to serve another table fast enough so you can’t say no to the plans she made. You let out a small huff, seeing no way out of this.
And Liv was nice; what harm could going out with her do?
You gather the cash and stuff it into an envelope, sliding it into your purse and gathering the rest of your belongings. Untying your apron and setting it down, you exit the restaurant through the back and make your way to your car.
Please let tonight be a good one.
-‘๑’-
“Choose an outfit, any outfit!”
Liv displayed all her dresses for you to choose from on her bed. She had picked you up a couple hours prior, and the two of you had been talking for a while before getting ready.
You straightened your hair and did a smokey makeup look, something you hadn’t done in a while.
The dress selection was quite impressive, but a simple short, sparkly black dress stood out to you the most. You pick it up and show Liv your choice.
“Ooooh, skimpy, yet simple. I like!” Liv said, smiling from ear to ear.
“Go put it on!”
She eagerly pushes you into the bathroom to change, shutting the door behind you.
Slipping the clothes on and staring at yourself in the mirror, you felt insanely confident. Since you hadn’t been out in so long, you forgot how fun it was to get dressed up.
Stepping out of the bathroom and into the room where Liv went to change, she audibly gasped upon seeing you.
“Jesus (Y/N), you look hot!”
A giggle escapes your lips as you look down at the yourself and smile at her.
“I might have to steal this dress, I like them too much.”
“I’d pay you to keep it, you look good.”
The comment made you blush slightly as your friend continued to compliment you.
“Alright, I'm ready. Let’s go!”
The two of you order a cab and head to the club. The thought of Spencer Reid is nowhere in your mind.
-‘๑’-
As you arrive at the club, you can already tell it’s quite full. Just upon entering, you see tons of people dancing and drinking—even a drunk girl spilling her drinks all over herself as her friends quickly try to clean her up.
Liv grabs your arm, dragging you up to the bar in a matter of seconds. It seemed so fast; you hadn’t even noticed she ordered you two drinks.
“Two tequila shots, two waters, and two limes, thank you!” Liv orders from the bartender. He nods and heads off to grab you guys your drinks.
“Starting off strong?” You say this, laughing softly.
“Of course! I want you to have a good night, (Y/N). It’ll be fun, trust me!"
Liv smiled softly at you as she grabbed the salt on the counter, seeing the bartender come back with the shots.
“Here you go. Enjoy, ladies.”
The both of you nod as the bartender steps away, helping others with their drinks. You lick the back of your hand and sprinkle salt on it before grabbing the shot and throwing it back.
It burned slightly, going down your throat, and you winced a bit. Quickly licking the salt off your hands and sucking on the lime, you can’t help but shake a little bit. It’s been so long since you’ve even consumed any sort of alcohol, so this shot felt incredibly strong to you.
"Jesus, I forgot how much I hate tequila.” You say, clearing your throat a bit. You grab your water and take a sip as Liv laughs, seemingly having had no reaction to the shot.
“Welcome back to drinking, huh?” She jokes, which makes you both laugh a little.
-‘๑’-
As the night goes on, the two of you dance and drink more, progressively becoming drunker. The shots began going down like water; a lime wasn’t needed to help anymore.
As you and Liv danced together, you decided to get more shots. Liv was clearly having too much fun to get off the dance floor right away, so you made the sacrifice to step off and grab them.
“I’ll go grab us some more shots; you just stay here.” You say to her, words slurring as you walk over to the bar. You lean on the bar to order more shots, hoping to make them your last ones as you get more and more tired.
The bar was full, so the bartender wasn’t going to tend to you right away. As you take a seat to help you have some sort of balance, you become aware of the presence of someone behind you. Assuming it was Liv, you snap your head to look at the person.
No fucking way
It seemed like you could never escape the nightmare that is Spencer Reid.
"Holy shit, Reid... are you stalking me?” You say this, looking up at the tall man. If your words didn’t indicate how drunk you were, your face did. Your eyes were heavy, and your face was slightly flushed red.
“Stalking you? I wouldn’t even if I was paid.” He states, making you roll your eyes.
“I don’t know what karmic debt I have to pay off, but it sure is hell seeing you everywhere I go.”
The words coming out of your mouth were so slurred, it made him chuckle. This made you roll your eyes again, annoyed at everything he did.
“I’m not particularly pleased to see you either." He answers, not even looking down at you as he scans the bar.
“And besides, you’re not the only one allowed to go out. I’m here with some work friends, not for you. They’re all just too drunk to hold a conversation…”
You laugh slightly as you tilt your head. “You don’t drink”
“No, not really. Can’t say the same can you? Try not to clear out the alcohol…”
Of course he had to throw in a snarky comment quickly. Even if it wasn’t normally seen as rude, coming from him was a different story.
“I’m leaving anyway.. have a.. nice night… or whatever.” You reply swiftly, forgetting the shots you planned to order and hopping out of your seat. You stagger a few steps away before feeling his hand wrap around your forearm, quickly stopping you.
“Wait, how are you getting home? You can’t drive like this.”
It almost felt like you couldn’t roll your eyes anymore than you have. You turn your head to look at him, your hair falling in front of your face.
“Don’t pretend to care.. where.. I’m going." Your words seemed to take forever to get out; you just wanted to get as far away as possible in that moment.
“Just because I don’t like you at all doesn’t mean I’m going to let you be in possibly dangerous situations. Especially in this state..." His eyes didn’t seem angry at that moment; they were just worried. It almost felt foreign to see him not roll his eyes back at you. It shocked you.
“How are you getting home?" Spencer’s voice is a lot more stern this time, startling you a bit. You never expected him, of all people, to care.
"Well, mister Reid…”
“It’s Dr.” He corrects you.
“Whatever.. me and my friend… Liv… will get a cab home. Any other questions?"
When he doesn’t respond right away, you think that’s the end of the interaction. When you attempt to slip your arm out of his grasp, he only tightens his grip a bit more. Not hurting you, but stopping you from walking away.
“I- I don’t think that’s very safe. I’ll give you guys a ride.”
Usually you’d argue and protest, but he seemed too serious to even try. And besides, you’d rather get a free ride than pay for one.
“Whatever..” You begrudgingly agree, pulling your arm away to go get your friend. Liv is easily pulled off the dance floor this time as you explain the situation. She holds onto your arms as you exit the club behind Spencer. It was obvious she had many more drinks than you; you could’ve looked a little sober next to her.
"Hello, sir, thank you for the ride.” She says to Spencer, her words are barely comprehensible. Spencer just nods, not really understanding what she said.
You walk to Spencer’s car with Liv on your arm, then softly help her into the backseat, buckling her up. She was laughing and giggling as you did so, not paying much attention to Spencer at all.
"Please, please, please don’t throw up in my car.” You hear him talk to himself as he walks to the driver's side door and gets in.
As you get in the front seat beside Spencer, you look around at the interior of the car. It was completely clean; there was not a speck of dirt in sight.
“Huh, is the car new?” You ask, turning your head to face him. He shook his head as he stuck the keys in the ignition, starting the vehicle.
“No. I just don’t drive much. I don’t like to, I usually take the train or have a coworker drive me. Can you give me your guys addresses?”
You nod, telling him both addresses, seeing as Liv was too inebriated to say much. The car begins to move, and you lay your head back to stare out the window. Watching the world pass by was calming; you even began to drift off a little.
Suddenly, the car stops.
“We’re at Livs.” He almost whispers. You lift your head up and look around before getting out of the car. You still had pretty bad balance, but better than Liv’s, who had passed out by now. Spencer gets out as well and helps you hoist Liv out of the backseat.
“How much did you guys drink?” He asks, referencing how drunk your friend was. The two of you begin walking to the door of her house.
“Not a lot, just... a lot..” You joke, laughing at your own stupidity.
“I wouldn’t do that. Alcohol causes 13 percent of deaths among-“
“Boooorinnng.” You interrupt. He presses his lips together as you two reach the door. You dig through the purse Liv had on her shoulder and fish her keys out, quickly unlocking the door and pushing it open.
“I’ll go put her to bed.” You say, dragging Liv off Spencer’s shoulders and to her room. She is easily carried, being quite light. As you reach her room, you set her down on the bed and take her purse off her shoulder, placing the keys beside it on her dresser. She didn’t really respond much, but you did hear her softly snoring as you laid her down.
As you shut the lights off and exit the house, you see Spencer waiting on the sidewalk for you.
“Come on, I’m tired.”
You walk to the car and get it again, buckling up quickly.
As you begin driving, he suddenly begins talking to you.
“I never took you as someone to go out at all.”
“Dr. Reid, you don’t know me at all.”
Saying this makes you realize, you don’t know him either. I mean, he was annoying, yes, but what did he do? What did he like? Were his interests as painstakingly pretentious as he was? You grew curious, then quickly grew confused as to why you were curious at all.
When he laughs at your comment, you immediately snap out of your head. “I do know you’re a pain in the ass.”
“You’re not exactly a dream either, believe me.”
You go back to staring out the window, waiting for the car to finally park in front of your apartment.
When it finally does, you get out as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, Spencer is right behind you.
“Stop following me, weirdo.” You comment as you walk in front of him, refusing to turn around.
"Sorry, princess, but in case you forgot, I’m your neighbor.”
You groan at this comment as you both reach your apartment doors. You were already so irritated and tired that you couldn’t bear another snarky comment or remark from him. Opening your door, you look at him and nod.
“Good night, Dr. Reid.” Your tone was sassy, yet jokey. He rolled his eyes and smiled at you, lifting his hand to wave goodbye. Before he can reply or say anything, you shut the door.
You made him smile.
He smiled cause of you?
Why did you care so much that he smiled? Shouldn’t that annoy you? Maybe you were just too drunk to function properly. You shake the thoughts off and slip into more comfortable clothes, quickly jumping into bed and falling asleep. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be thinking straight…
-‘๑’-
PT 1 | PT 3
tag list: @daisyridleyss @taygrls @yeonalie @peanutbelley @vivian-555 @ehedrick012110
a.n : this feels really long, and it is, so sorry ! but next chapter is a lil more eventful i hope! also, in my head liv is a blonde sweet sort of ditzy girl, but you can imagine her however you’d like! liv lover regardless 💪🏽💯
#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#cm imagine#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds#juqtier writes… 🐈
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can i request hcs of having jason as ur praetor bf pls? 🤍🤍
you can be the boss. / praetor! jason grace x female! reader.
a / n : let's just say i have an idea okay... i read all of the series and i still don't have any single idea about what a praetor is 😭 that's why i ignored this request so much 😭😭 im literally rambling under this sorry!!
warnings : nothing??? omgs
he's very busy
like busy busy
but he always tries to make time for you
and if you're working with him in some type of way (this is me not knowing romans) he enjoys taking care of the camp jupiter with you
having jason is like dating a ceo, which he kinda is. everyone knows and respects him and he's kinda cold and stoic on the outside
he takes this boyfriend thing very seriously and he tries to be perfect about it
not that he has to try-
and one night, in his barrack (??? i have no idea guys) you start to talk about this
like how he doesn't have to be perfect, that every relationship had it's ups and downs, and how he was already a perfect boyfriend
he cried
anyways-
again, i don't know if they can do that, but life is easier when you have a ceo-like boyfriend because he can give you anything you ask for
anyways im not gonna stay too much on that topic-
new rome dates!!!!!
just holding hands like normal teenagers, eating ice cream, walking around in the great buildings
you guys already plan on going to collage here
because it's safe, and jason will do whatever it takes to keep you safe
he's a very smart guy, so if you have any type of paperwork, he's already down
you comfort him a multiple times when he's overworking himself as a praetor
and you constantly need to remind him that he's doing great and he's an awesome leader
because he literally is but my boy doesn't see it
he makes you sit on his lap and just hug him while he finishes the papers
because he wants to give you his attention 24/7, but the works just doesn't allow him
on the free days, you guys either stay in, or practice together
but mostly stay in
he's so husband material!! he cooks for you, he cleans your room for you if you're busy, anything
if you're new to camp, he's happy to show you around and tell you everything about it
fixing your armors for you, or cleaning your sword
the only times he can relax is when he's with you
he can pretend to be a normal kid when he's right next to you, just hugging you close and resting on you
he just wants to retire fr
and live a domestic life with you, get old with you, have grandkids
every time he's away, he thinks this
it's just so hot watching him working
like giving orders, just basically his stuff
and whenever he commands something to your group, all serious, he secretly smiles at you when everyone turns away
the camp knows he has a soft spot for you but they know better than speaking about it
people might think jason is boring and everything, but he's a fun guy when he's with you
and only you
took this from my drafts only for YOU guys 🫵🏻💋
#yeah this is me writing something shitty#dude i literally have no idea about romans#rick needs to write some book about it#jason grace x y/n#jason grace x you#jason grace headcanon#jason grace imagine#jason grace pjo#jason grace#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#percy jackson series#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson imagine#percy jackson headcanon#pjo show
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it’s the little things🤍
hey y’all! this is part 6!!
catch up HERE
sorry this took so long to get out to y’all, been working like crazy and had some writers block, BUT IM HERE TO FEED YALL
warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT
MDNI!!!
Taglist: @gaymistakeboi@batw3nch@thedevillovesflowers@almightywdm@ghostslittlegf@sketchyfandomgirl@under-the-dirt@clear-your-mind-and-dream@darkangel4121@vreselia@llemes @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx
as always please yell at me if i forgot you!
You lay in your cot, your body aching from the long days of hard work. You had just gotten back from a shift, your phone ringing as your back hit the fabric. You had super shotty service, so a call coming throigh was a miracle.
“Hey baby, I hope you’re well.” You swiped to answer the call. It was your John.
“Hey honey, just tired as hell.” You chuckled a little as you laid on your side, placing your phone next to you.
“I know you don’t have much time to talk and need your rest but I wanted to not only hear your voice but let you know I met the babysitter today. She cleared the background check and she loves the boys.” You could hear his smile in his voice.
“That’s good.” You replied, your eyes closed as you felt your body relax to his voice.
“She’s young, 19. She’s a spritey thing, lots of energy. She’s bubbly and super great with the boys. Her name is Tia. I think she’ll be good for them, be able to keep up.” He sounded excited, and you were happy he’d found a girl you could trust to watch the boys.
“I’m glad babe, hopefully they don’t chase her away. How much is she charging? Is she staying on base?”
He chuckled, “I’m paying her so don’t you worry about the money doll, as for her, she’s staying in my room. I’m giving my room a deep clean and washing my sheets before I leave.”
“She’s sleeping in your bed?” You opened your eyes at this and propped yourself up on your elbow.
“Yeah, comfier than the couch.” He said it so casually, but it somewhat bothered you that some babysitter was sleeping in his bed before you were. Yes, you chose not to, but it still bothered you, the idea of a much younger woman sleeping in his sheets, using his room for herself. “Baby?”
His voice broke you out of your thoughts. “Yeah, but the couch isn’t too bad. I’ve been sleeping on it. I would prefer it over my current situation.” You heard John laugh a little.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be out there before you know it, I’ll make sure you stay comfy and get rested. Tia though-“ He continued to ramble on about how Tia did with the boys and what he thought of her. He spoke about how she’s coming again so he can give her a rundown on everything she’ll need to know, and make sure she doesn’t have any questions. He said he’s going to spend the day with her and the boys so she can get acquainted.
It bothered you a bit. You knew deep down it was nothing, John wouldn’t sleep with a 19 year old, nor would he cheat on you. Right?
“But, I’ll let you go my love, get some rest. I’ll see you in 4 days.” You big your goodbyes as he hung up.
You quickly fell into a deep sleep.
“Lieutenant! Get your ass up and get to your post!!” You woke up to Captain Snyder’s voice booming. “You’ve got 20 minutes until your shift, get moving.”
“Yes sir.” Your voice was hoarse as you arose from the rough cot and threw on the missing pieces of your uniform you didn’t sleep in. Your eyes were heavy as you hobbled to your post, taking the jeep to the embassy.
You noticed your soldiers were in a similar state? you were all starving and restless. Some soldiers had been sent home because of their sickness, being considered critical. You did your best not to push your squad, letting them take breaks and rest up, but more and more were falling ill, including yourself.
Unfortunately, being the leader, you weren’t allowed to go take a break or go rest up to feel healthy. You had to push through and manage, and that had caused you to become a shell of yourself. You had continued to lose weight, lose energy and motivation, even feeling i’ll yourself. You weren’t able to eat from lack of appetite, anything you ate came back up within an hour.
You felt like death, and you were scared for John to see you this way, but he was bringing backup to replace the soldiers who had been rushed to hospitals.
At night while you were watching transports, you dreamed of him getting off that plane, the way his arms would save you from the trouble you’d endured here.
The worst part of this mission though? Captain Snyders team was completely fine. They were all healthy, rested and none of them had fallen ill. They weren’t being pushed like your squad.
There was something fishy here and you couldn’t put your finger on it. You didn’t have the energy to even put thought into it.
You were so close to John’s arrival, only 36 hours until he arrived. You were on duty when you were checking someone into the embassy and you felt your field of vision turn black. You grabbed into Private Frag next to you as you felt yourself begin to collapse.
You woke up 32 hours later. Captain Snyder was in the med tent with you and the nurse. He looked pissed. “Lieutenant, nice of you to join us. What the hell were you thinking?! You have a crew to take care of!”
“I’m sorry sir, I haven’t been feeling myself lately.” Your voice came out so quietly, your voice lost somewhere.
“No excuses L.T. You’re here because I recommended you. Your commendable leadership in previous missions was what got you here. Your behavior on this mission has been unacceptable, and therefore you’ve been sentenced to 24 hour duty. You will watch the embassy starting tomorrow at noon, and finishing the following day at noon with no breaks.” You felt your breath catch, there was no way he expected you to do that in your condition. You could barely speak! Barely move!
“Sir, I don’t mean to talk back but-“
“Then don’t speak.” You felt the feeling of crying, but no tears came due to your dehydration. “You are allowed the rest of today to rest, but I want to see you well and alive tomorrow at noon at the embassy’s back entrance to begin your shift. Now, if you excuse me I have to go welcome to incoming squad and Captain Price.”
You sighed at his name, your John was here. You began to breath unevenly, emotion taking over you, but you were too tired to cry. “Sir, if I could just-“
“No Lieutenant. You will not speak any longer. You are to remain silent when I am in your presence. I do not want anymore inexcusable behavior from you and if there is, I will be forced to punish you accordingly.” He was stern as he threw his cap on and exited the tent.
You felt helpless as the nurse shushed you and began to administer more fluids into your IV and tried to give you some food.
A couple of hours later, you were up and walking. You were hardly doing it, but the nurse needed the bed for a soldier who had gotten a stomach parasite while in the desert. You were on your way back to your tent when you saw Captain Snyder.
His cocky smirk made your stomach sink. “Lieutenant! I see your back to your normal self!” He landed a hard pat to your shoulder, making you nearly topple over.
“Sir, please, I really need a couple of days to recover, I’m not well.” You looked up at him with your droopy, sunken in eyes.
He laughed. “You think I’m going to allow you that? I am your superior and you are going to listen to me. You answer to me and take orders from me. If I tell you you’re fine and to fulfill your 24 hour tomorrow, that’s what you do. Clear?”
“Captain, sir, please-“
“I said clear?!” His voice echoed as he shouted in your face, his grip tight on your upper arm.
“Sir-“
“I’m sorry.” You heard a cocky voice fill your ears. “What did you just say?” It was a voice that began to fill your soul with life.
“Captain Price.” Snyder kept his grip on you as he turned. “I was just telling my Lieutenant here-“
“Your Lieutenant?” John chuckled lowly as he slowly stepped closer, foot by foot.
“I am her Captain now, she takes her orders from me.” His grip tightened on you as he straightened himself to stand taller. You whimpered at the brusing grip of his fingers digging into your skin.
John’s laugh brought your eyes up to him. Your knees about gave out at the sight of him. He was in full uniform, his guns hanging from his hip, his boonie cap hanging low on his forehead. “Last time I checked Captain,” He spat the man’s title. “Her vest says 141, so does her file. That makes her my Lieutenant.” John cocked his head to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“You are not apart of this mission Price.” Snyder kept his arm on you, almost like his bruises in your arm would claim you as his property.
“Get your hands off my officer before I lay mine on you.” John’s voice was a growl as he threatened Snyder. “Now.”
You felt the fingers dug into your arm slowly release as you wobbled, now standing on your own. You fully faced John, seeing him fully. His gaze softened at your state. “She will only ever take orders from me, her Captain. She will not take anything from your mouth. She is my Lieutenant, and will report to me and only me.” He gently grabbed you as he escorted you to your tent, leaving Captain Snyder speechless.
“Oh Y/N, my dear.” He set you on your cot, coming to sit with you, letting you lean against him. “What is happening here?”
You sniffled as you took in that homey scent of him. The sweet cologne mixed with cigar smoke. He was here, your John was here. “How’re the boys, I miss them.”
“Oh your voice-“ He began to draw circles into your back as he ran his hand through your hair, shushing you. “Don’t talk, save your energy to rest, love. I’m so sorry this is happening.”
You look up at him, staring into his eyes. “Kiss me.”
He doesn’t hesitate to follow your instructions. His lips meet yours briefly, yet the kiss was so full of love and care. “Darling…”
“John?” You said.
“Yes dear?”
“What was that out there?”
“What was what?” He cocked his head, raising his eyebrows as he stared down at you.
“Your Lieutenant?” You smirked, kissing him again.
“You are mine. That man has no right to talk to you that way. Only I can boss you around, only I can order you around. You’re mine.” His eyes darkened as he spoke, his voice a low growl.
“John?” You cooed.
“Yes Y/N?” His eyes were hooded as he looked at you.
“Make me yours.” John flinched forward to kiss you but quickly stopped. “John?”
“I don’t wanna break you. You’re so pretty and you don’t feel well.” His hand caressed your cheek.
“I don’t care, wreck me.”
John’s whole demeanor changed as he roughly captured your lips with his, his hands groping around your body, holding on tightly.
“Look at ya, all needy for me.” John’s voice ran shivers up your spine as his breath tickled against your neck.
His lips left marks all over your neck as he began to rid you of your shirt. “Lemme see ya-“
“John-“ His eyes met yours as you began to breath quicker in anticipation. He looked at you as you nodded and he quickly left you without a shirt or bra.
His hands massaged your breasts as his mouth took home on one of your nipples, sucking and playing with it. His gums of satisfaction caused sparks through your nerves. You let out a few quiet moans, and at that he made it his job to bring more out of you.
He loved that sound and wanted to drink it in, hearing it over and over. You put your hand in his hair as he continue to give your breasts attention, but you needed him elsewhere. You took his wrist in your other hand as you let it to your center. “John, please.” You begged.
His eyes were blown out as he looked up at you, practically ripping your pants off as he took his stance between your legs, his face inches from you. “You’re soaked baby.” Two of his fingers dragged through your folds. “All ready for me aren’t you?”
Those two fingers pressed inside of you, moving around, feeling the way you felt. John let out a moan at the feeling, beginning to scissor his fingers to stretch you out. “Gotta make you comfortable baby.” His fingers then pumped in and out of you slowly as his mouth latched into your clit.
You let out an unholy moan at the pressure. “John!” His name kept leaving your lips along with strings of curses.
“You gonna cum for me doll?” His voice had a hint of teasing to it, having you coming undone so quickly. “Do it, cum around my fingers, all over my mouth.”
And you did. His beard was coated with a glaze as he sat up and began to undo his belt. “Come here sweet thing.”
His thumb guided your chin as you sat up, mouth open and ready for him. “Mmm, that’s a sight.”
“I love you John.” You said with doe eyes, staring up at him from the edge of your cot.
“You’re gonna really love me in a minute baby.” He pulled his boxers down and freed his hard cock, it springing free in front of your eyes.
You stared as he pulled his pants all the way down and discarded his shirt. His cock was large, but it was beautiful. It had a vein running up the bottom of it, curving up slightly and his pink tip was shiny with precum. You licked your lips as your left hand rested on his thigh, your right wrapping around his base.
You heard his breath hitch at the contact and you looked up at him as you took him in your mouth, then locking a stripe up the bottom of his cock. “Fuck baby, yes.”
His hand came to dig into your hair to guide you along him, you sucking and pumping him to absolute ecstasy.
His groans were music to your ears. You continued to keep eye contact as he began to take control little by little. You felt his hand gently push against the back of your head as you took him deeper and deeper into your throat.
You could tell he wanted to fuck your mouth. You pulled off of him with a pop and brought his face close to yours. “John honey?”
“Yes?”
“Do it.” John let out the most gorgeous moan at your words as he stood back to his full height and tightly held your hair. He shoved his dick all the way to the back of your throat, causing a small gag to come out of you.
He was singing your praises as he stayed there. “That’s it baby, relax for me.” He spoke slowly, calmly.
Continuing to take deep breaths, your nose was buried in his hips until he moved, and he moved quickly. His pace was reckless and you could feel a bruise forming at the back of your mouth from his tip abusing it. The sounds and grunts coming out of him were dirty and it made you wet thinking about how his cock would feel inside of you.
Your hands squeezed his thighs as you felt him begin to stutter. “Fuck.”
He grabbed your shoulders as he lifted you up and bent you over the small desk in your tent, quickly shoving himself deep in your pussy. “So fucking tight, mm.”
He paused for a second, breathing through teeth. “Fuck baby, relax a little.”
His thumb rubbed your lower back as he felt you become more comfortable with his size. He bummed as he began to move, slow at first.
He grunted as his arms crossed, hands grabbing your hips to reinforce himself as his hips began to quickly snap against your ass. You were a moaning mess as his balls stimulated your clit. “Fuck! Yes!”
“Who do you belong to?” He said it between grunts and the question caused you to moan in response. “Who’s. Are. You.”
“Yours! I’m all yours John!!” You we’re shouting, the pleasure he was giving you was out of this world.
You felt the coil in your stomach tightening as he continued to plow into you. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” You said, your legs beginning to shake.
“Cum for me darling.” A couple more thrusts and you were a mess under him, your hips were beginning to ache and your legs were jelly.
“I’m close.” He growled lowly, grunts pouring from his mouth as his hips moved sloppily. “In or out?”
You couldn’t even respond as he continued to wreck your insides. “Baby, I need to know.”
“In.”
John released as soon as the word left your mouth, filling you up. His pulled his cock out and quickly shoved two fingers in you, keeping his cum from leaking out. “Look at how pretty you look all fucked out.”
“John…” Your voice made him switch immediately, removing his fingers and swooping you up in his arms as he put you on your cot.
“I’ll be right back, I promise.” John kissed your forehead, leaving the tent.
You laid in the afterglow waiting for him to return, and when he did you began to tear up. He walked in with your favorite pajama pants and one of his hoodies and a towel.
He was dressed in his pajamas as well. He cleaned you up, helping you into the clothes he brought you. “I couldn’t come see my girl and not bring her something from home when I leave.”
He laid down behind you, your back against his chest as he pulled your hair into two braids, out of your face. “I really do love you John.”
“I love you too, and don’t let Snyder get to you. I will take care of it okay? You will be here resting as long as you need before you’re healthy again. I won’t let him mistreat you anymore. You’re my girl.”
You turned to look up at him as he planted a long kiss on your lips. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”
You kissed him again before settling in against his chest. “Thank you…”
“Always my love.”
#captain price x reader#modern warefare 2 x reader#soap mactavish smut#soap mactavish x reader#tf141 x reader#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#johnny mactavish#john price#kyle gaz garrick
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HIIII, can I request some angst/fluff with Sam, like an angst love confession where he says how much he truly loves her or something, I really need it because some guy just ghosted me because I wouldn't send him nudes, please, love your writing
IM SO SORRY FOR 2 THINGS
1. THAT SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU THAT DUDES AN ASSHOLE AND IM SO SORRY
2. THAT I GOT TO THIS ALMOST A MONTH LATE🙏
What if he’s written ‘Mine’ on my upper thigh
Sam has been acting like a jackass all week long and I have no idea why. I’m honestly getting sick of it. He doesn’t talk to me and is avoiding me.
I finally try to confront him today at his house. I walk up to his porch and knock on the door waiting for someone to answer. After waiting only about 2 minutes his mom answers. “oh his dear! Sam is in his room if you need him” I say thank you and march my ass right up to his room. I don’t even bother knocking I just barge right in to see him laying on bed with his headphones on and eyes closed.
I can hear the music blaring from his headphones meaning that he probably didn’t hear me come in. I immediately go up to him and rip his headphones off. “what the fuck?!” Sam almost yells quickly sitting up. “Bro what the fuck?” Sam asks again looking at me in disbelief. “Oh so now you talk to me.” I respond crossing my arms. “what the fuck are you doing here” Sam quickly says while standing up. “Trying to see why you have been avoiding me for the past week” I say pushing my finger into his chest
“Dude can you just leave” Sam complains and opens the door trying to get me to leave his room. “Not until you tell me what’s going on” I say standing my ground. “Nothing his going on I just don’t want to see you” Sam says annoyed.
I’m not going to lie that hurt. a lot. I quickly dropped my arms to my side and just started at him in disbelief. Sure me and Sam have had arguments but none like this. Never like this. “Is that true?” I ask him softly. “Yes. Get. Out” Sam says through his teeth.
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I mean Sam has been my best friend for years and he’s never treated me like this. I stared to walk out only for Sam to close the door before I could walk out.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean that” Sam said softly. “Sam let me leave.” I asked softly. “No, let me explain please” Sam quickly said
I know I shouldn’t have let him off the hook so fast but he’s been my best friend for years and I didn’t want to lose him over a stupid fight.
“fine you have 2 minutes” I say and sit down on his bed. Sam said something that I wasn’t expecting. at all.
“I’m in love with you. Always have been. You’re everything to me that’s why I was avoiding you because I was scared.” Sam quickly rambled. I starred at Sam not knowing what to say. Truth be told I’ve always loved Sam and always wanted to be with him but I didn’t think he felt the same so I tried to get over him but it’s never worked my feelings have always been towards him.
“please say something” Sam says softly. “Sam..” I respond looking at him. “It’s ok if you don’t feel the same we can pretend this never happened.” Sam rambled on quickly. I stood up and walked towards him and kissed him to shut him up. Sam looked at me with wide eyes and quickly grabbed my face pulling my face closer to him and kissing me deeper.
“we have a lot to talk about” Sam whispers
“yes we do” I agree and go back to kissing him
HII SO SORRY I GOT TO THIS LATE AND I HOPE YOURE DOING BETTER 🫶 IF YOU EVER WANT TO TALK MY MESSAGES ARE ALWAYS OPEN🫶
#hayden christensen#sam monroe angst#sam monroe imagine#sam monroe smut#sam monroe fluff#sam monroe x reader#sam monroe
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I just wanted to thank you so much for all of your insight and generosity with your perspective as an anti-zionist israeli, something you absolutely don't owe us but I feel immense amounts of respect and admiration for. from an American jew, it's been so valuable to know there are people like you out there, it's made everything feel much less hopeless despite all the hopelessness. I've felt very alone recently, surrounded by all the Jewish people in my life who are pro-israel and don't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation and my pro-palestine gentile friends, and I've felt very alone in my grief as I've only really started to unpack and dismantle my own biases very recently. reading your posts and your perspective on everything has just made me feel very seen as a jew in this situation, especially as I try to reconcile my feelings about everything going on with my own feelings about my faith and my identity.
you've probably seen that I've gone through a lot of your posts and that I've followed you. i just want you to know that I'm not necessarily following you just for that, I know you're just a fandom blog, it's just that after looking through your posts I feel like you're just a really nice person and seeing yoi on my dash from you would be endearing coming from you even though im not into it myself.
just. thank you again for sharing your story and continuing to share. you have no idea how much it's helped me.
I'm in tears. I've been crying way more than usual over the past couple of months, but it's nice for a change to have those tears to come from being touched instead of grief. I apologize if I'm going to ramble.
You say I didn't owe you all this, but I do feel responsible. I'm watching so much destruction and seeing how comfortable people around me are with the loss of life. This is why I've been talking about what we do and not as much about the impact of October 7 on me or people I know. I did a bit of that in the beginning, but pretending it was the start of everything to keep going back to that one day, after two months of horror, as if I can't count past 7... I didn't choose to be born where I am, I didn't choose to grow up in the most extremist community this place has to offer. But since I'm here, since I'm comfortable at the expense of Palestinians and violence is being done in my name and I have the tools to highlight issues within my society, I think it's a moral obligation.
I know how I talk about things here, and that's genuinely because I don't want to minimize the severity of the racism and the nationalism in Israel. And someone perceived my words as showing hatred for Israelis. But... I love my people. I don't expect those who see or experience our violence to feel the same or even understand me, but I do. It's my neighbors and my childhood friends and my family. It's children I see playing outside and getting excited when they see I have a cat, and the random people who stop me in the street and give me directions if they think I look lost.
Even growing up in the West Bank settlements, the people were very good to me. I needed years to internalize the fact that this kindness doesn't get extended to you if you're not part of the in-group. It broke my heart. It still does. Seeing people who I know are capable of kindness and compassion, hardening themselves against the pain of other human beings. Closing their eyes and telling themselves it isn't real. It's all an act.
I told a friend I feel like I'm betraying my mom, who was deeply bigoted, but also a wonderful mother. She taught me a lot of the principles that are guiding me now - I just took down the walls she put around who deserves to be considered. She'd be horrified with seeing the things I'm saying if she was still alive. But she taught me to care about people, I just decided it means all people.
Everyone should be prioritizing Palestinian liberation, and at the same time, I care about this too. I care about the morality of my people. I need us to be better than this. I want to dismantle the nationalism that teaches us hate and violence so we can start to heal and come to terms with what we did (and still do) here. I want us to fix what we can and hold ourselves accountable. I want us to reimagine safety in a way that doesn't cause harm, and build good relationships with the rest of humanity. Every marginalized community is experiencing bigotry in interactions with every other community, that's just how these things work. But I believe healing the world, and healing my society, is possible.
And it's hard, because so much of what we learn is rooted in truth. Antisemitism is real. Millennia of persecution are real. The trauma we carry is real. If the idea of an ethnostate makes us feel safe, and the idea of losing it makes us scared, how do we differentiate between fear as a natural reaction to antisemitic violence and fear that was taught to us for the sake of nationalism? Especially those of us living in Israel, immersed in the propaganda. It doesn't matter in practice, our feelings of safety or fear don't justify an ethnostate, especially not one built on top of another nation, but it matters for the conversations I have with people.
And I said that the violence I'm seeing feels like an attack on my identity. Seeing a giant hannukiyah in Gaza, when Hannukah tells the story of occupied people fighting off their oppressors. Seeing images that echo so much of the horrors that were done to us. The Magen David being used with hate and spite. It's all so painful. And I love this land, it's the only home I've known, so seeing us destroying nature and soaking it with blood and calling that connection?
Judaism does guide me here. The concept of tikkun olam. The idea of לא עליך המלאכה לגמור ולא אתה בין חורין לבטל ממנה - doing what I can, even if what I'm able to do isn't some decisive blow that entirely turns the tide. The idea that every human being is a whole entire world, to me it means that every single person alive is worth fighting for. So no matter how much death I see, there's still worlds more to save.
And Jewitches had this post that felt just healing to read. Nationalism hijacked our culture, and it will always leave a mark for centuries into the future. But I'm not letting go, and I'm not letting that create a rift between me and thousands of years full of history I can be proud of.
I feel your grief. And I'm grateful for the anti-zionist Jews I met by talking about this, because honestly, I need you people in my life. The pain and the anger are both easier to hold together.
So, thank you for following. I might follow back, just to see you around on my feed. And thank you for sending this. Feel free to message me anytime for any reason (I promise it won't result in a lecture every time).
Also, your url gave me pjo nostalgia
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