#im probably talking in circles at this point but its just so important to me especially as a transmasc

[dani-ya-dig]

OKAY I FINALLY HAVE TIME SO ITS TIME FOR DANI TO FINALLY RANT ABOUT THE SAM AUDIO!!!

Written as I’m listening to the audio again so I don’t forgor.

I think it’s been out long enough to avoid spoiler but I’m gonna put the cut just because this post is probably gonna be really long.

The beginning of this audio scares the shit out of me not matter how many times I listen to, like he is fucking ZOOMING. At least this time he has a reason to be zipping all over the place. Unlike in his “talking about the future” audio where that motherfucker used vamp speed up the stairs for no goddamn reason

Also I appreciate the fact that Darlin ran into Sam, fully shifted. They hit him first and only then were like “oh yeah I’m a giant wolf rn”.

CHRIST DARLIN! THE MAN JUST SHOWED UP LET HIM BREATHE BEFORE YOU JUMP HIM

Ugh love me a Sam reverse comfort audio. This is DELICIOUS

Circling back to Sam’s tendency to bury his emotions in the moment, and only allowing himself to feel them when he is in a safe space (cough cough Darlin)

“I guess that says a lot about what family is to me” STOPPPPPPP

“Apparently I’ve got a knack for landing myself in shit. And then sticking around long enough to get convinced it’s all I deserve” IM ACTUALLY FUCKING CRYING I HATE IT HERE. HE IS ME FR.

“I. Am not. A Solaire” DAMN RIGHT SAMMY! GET HIS ASS!

Sam kind danced around this part but I noticed it immediately. The way he kind of paused when he talked about William putting giving him a house as a form of trying to make himself more favorable to Sam. Sam worded it as him favoring stability and needing that. But also like… one thing that Sam talks about repeatedly in his playlist is how important the idea of home is to him. And William gives him a house… an attempt at giving him a home, so that the “home” is inherently tied to him in Sam’s mind.

I know it was well intentioned on William’s part but god it feels fucking grimy nonetheless

Sam might not think that William is and evil mustache twirling villain, but I do /j

Real footage of William Solaire rn

“I’m a healer. Not was. Am.” YES THE FUCK YOU ARE SAM!

No because actually Sam is so right. He IS still good. He CAN still help. I’m not 100% on the lord of vampire or how difficult it would be for a vampire of Sam’s age to externalize magic. But it’s pretty damn impressive that he can do what he can do even after his core was entirely replaced. He must have been a STRONG like super strong freelancer for that much of his powers to remain after his turning. But it’s also not just healing magic he can still manage even though that definitely would have been his specialty and the type of magic he studied the most. The other types of magic we have heard of him doing are also cleaning magic and earth elemental magic (WHICH YO???). Like that’s impressive imo.

Also we have all talked about Sam joining Shaw Security on night shift at this point. BUT!!! After Sam talked about how he wanted to be a healer still but only wasn’t because that wasn’t what the house needed from him. I hope that he gets hired on as Shaw Security’s professional healer <33

I don’t know how viable that would be. But I think it could work. I don’t imagine he would be patching up multiple huge injuries everyday so it could 100% work!! GUYS I SWEAR PLEA–

(Erik if you’re spying through your secret tumblr account give me what I want)

Sam will never have to go to another summit again 🤞

NO ONE WILL PUT THAT MAN IN A SUIT AGAIN!! HE IS FREE!

Sam and Darlin are so in love with each other. They deserve to be happy, just for a little bit. I need a moving audio with them. Them just packing up their shit <33

Okay did I love this video. Yes! It was Sam, so like that’s bound to happen with me lmao. But also like it was just nice. I enjoyed it. I hope Sam gets to find more of who he is outside of the house.

But also because my hyperfixated menace ass can’t keep my nose out of spoiler I KNOW THAT SAM BITES DARLIN IN THE BA AND I JUST COSSBDKDBX

Look I get why it happened logistically. It’s been a long time coming, and now that Sam’s out of the house of Solaire, they aren’t going to be facilitating his need for blood bags anymore. So he is gonna need to feed on something. It makes sense.

But I wish that decision like that regarding trauma Sam has around his turning would stop being made in the aftermath of very emotional moments. Like when he decided he was ready to go further with Darlin, I wish it would have come from a place of “Ive worked through everything that happened to me, and I love you, so I really want to take this next step” instead of “I’ve seen so many people die, and I have been reminded how fragile life is, and I am terrified of the thought of not getting to do this”.

Idk maybe it’s just me, but things like that don’t feel like decisions that should be made when you feel like life is crumbling down around you??

Also it brings up the logistical issue of, Erik didn’t explain that to the non-patreon listeners. So like… if it gets brought up in future audios a lot of people are probably gonna be a little confused, since I only know because I snoop through Sam spoilers.

Eh. But all in all, live laugh love Sam Collins and stay livin la vida loca I guess

[edwad]

If you had to pick one book to give background on the political economy Capital is criticizing would you suggest Rubin's History of Economic Thought? Any major issues you have with it? Also wonder what you think of Catherine Colliot-Thélène's claim in the afterword that: "If the ‘naturalness’ of economic laws is definitely illusory, the critique of political economy must deny the very existence of the object of political economy"?

rubin's history is written from a pretty sophisticated/defensible marxian perspective so it definitely has a lot going for it in that regard, but that is also its primary limit because it treats marx as the chief authority on the history of economic thought. this might be helpful for thinking through marx's project as he understood it, but it's not as good when it comes to taking a step back and estimating marx's performance by any other standard (eg 100 years of HET scholarship since rubin's text, 150 years since marx's, etc)

as far as the afterword goes, this message pushed me to take another look at it. i tried to read it a few years ago and found it basically indecipherable lmfao but this time it was pretty easy sailing so im not sure if im just more comfortable with the language now or what but it seemed to hit a lot similar notes to the kinds of things ive said here. it is very clearly indebted to a lot of the same post-althusserian stuff that ive been talking about (MCCT is cited approvingly several times and really seems to be the chief text that colliot-thélène is working with), so im sympathetic to some of the broad stroke theoretical problems being posed, but i would quibble with some of the assumptions at play.

she acknowledges the changes to marxs plans for the CoPE and even some of the theoretical transformations, but i think she draws too generously from the pre-capital marx of the grundrisse and the 59 contribution (or sometimes even further back to his work in the 40s!). there are both valuable texts for illuminating certain elements of marxs work/thinking, but you have to be careful in how you use these texts to make claims about marxs later work. she also has a tendency to hone in on the word "equilibrium" which comes out of the secondary material she's working with (namely MCCT) and not from marx, which then turns into her spending a lot of time hammering on about marxian equilibrium that i think is less textually justifiable than she believes, although it's crucial to her argument. how this bleeds into the stuff on "capital in general" is especially confusing because, as she notes, rosdolsky is probably right to believe that this approach to the object is dropped by marx (so why does this get held against him here?) etc etc.

regardless, it has an obvious family resemblance to the species of critique im working through, because she shares the same concern over the object of critique itself, but it is much narrower and i think too bogged down in categories which more properly belong to 20th century economics and the particular style of post-sraffian ricardo interpretation which dominated the minds of intellectual historians in CSE circles around the time she wrote this.

the result is that i think she misses the mark in pretty important ways, even if i think the conceptual difficulties of marxs categories are worth pointing out. the problem however is that these are the same kinds of issues which have been pointed out by clever marx-reconstructionists since rubin himself. this might be interesting marx scholarship, but it's not necessarily damning to his project, as all of the attempts to salvage him have made relatively clear (some of them have been quite successful even!)

when it comes to her specific claim about the naturalness of economic laws, i think this basically forfeits the epistemological element that she herself tries to raise. her entire critique could basically be summarized as follows:

marxs categories are non-empirical, but their merit is supposedly in their interconnections akin to an organic whole, so that, like a biological process, the invisible mechanisms are demonstrated in the surface results (relative prices etc). marx does this because the bourgeois economics which he is critiquing is modeled after natural science (specifically physics, although this is never really named in her critique), however the economy is not like a natural science at all. therefore we have to ask why marx's assumptions take this naturalistic assumption for granted if he is trying to prove that these are not natural categories etc etc.

this basically poses the question which marx himself tries to account for, as if he is failing for beginning with the exact problem she wishes he had addressed. its a very confusing place for her to end up, and i wonder if her afterword was rushed to completion because she suddenly reaches this point in the last couple of pages (the main criticism as you've quoted belongs to the last paragraph) after what strikes me as a very carefully written and thought-through piece until maybe the last third of the text. to suggest "if economic laws aren't natural then they must be fake so why bother trying to study them unless you're guilty of the same thing" fails to ask why the political economists would ever begin to conceive of the phenomena in this way. she is disinterested in the plausibility of the bourgeois conception, as if it's simply an erroneous collective accident and the fact that so many people's beliefs are structured this way isn't noteworthy once we admit that it's wrong. the irony is that, unlike marx, the result is that she basically takes this for granted by simply dismissing marx's immanent critique of it as being more of the same.

[ferdieinceladoncity]

WILD BLUE YONDER SPOILERS/THOUGHTS

Doing this again :3

.Now this was a Doctor Who episode. It was amazing, it was hilarious, it was thrilling, and I am so glad that this episode was kept so tightly under wraps and wasn't part of the leaks- though how would this episode even be explained written down anyway?

.I don't really know why Isaac newton was there? To make the mavity joke and the snippet about the doctors sexuality? both very valid and great moments, but unless some important plot point fell out of my head it was a bit random, but I'm not complaining I suppose

.my mum was CONVINCED that it wasn't coffee that donna was drinking, with the way they were acting at the start of the episode. lmao.

.This set is giving crazy high budget. The entire episode was very visually impressive. The scene of the entire outside of the ship spinning in space (and the weird contorted circle shape of it) makes you blink twice

.I liked the bit that confirmed the doctors attraction to men, its funny that he seemed surprised about it. "is that who I am now?" who you are NOW? Anyway, I really hope it's explicitly talked about in future episodes that the doctor is bisexual, omnisexual or however it happens to be. I would like the attraction to ALL genders (or lack thereof) to be made explicit.

.My heart actually dropping out of tension hasn't been something I've felt in a doctor who episode in a LONG time, but that scene where we cut to the Doctor messing with the tubes in the blue room after we just see Donna and the Doctor in the orange one actually gave me that perfect sinking feeling. It was such a great "somethings not right" moment. Like, oh shit- that's not HIM-

."My arms are too long" and both of them just brushing that off coming from the other initially is very funny. and very real. Some shit I wouldn't blink if my friends said around me. yeah I dont know it's like that

.THEY WENT HAM ON THE VISUAL EFFECTS AND I CAN'T LOVE IT ENOUGH. IT'S UNCANNY, IT'S GOOFY AND IT'S UNSETTLING- I could NOT stop laughing, but it was also horrific! That scene of them chasing them down the hallway was straight up nightmare fuel. how did rtd even decide that was. that was something he wanted to do. he was right but like. crazy.

.The scene where donna and the doctor confront each other and the viewer knows one of each set isn't "right' but we don't know which is which (and I was wrong with my initial guess, which is probably the point) that was great. ""Donna""" telling the doctor that the flux wasn't his fault and him responding "I KNOW" was really just something to me. I cant remember much about the flux storyline, but sometimes things that aren't your fault still hurt so much.

.On the other side of the coin, it was an amazing moment when the """doctor""" realises the tie he threw off is gone, and he says "oh. things that are gone still exist." it's a very chilling line... cooking in the writing room

.Oh. and the spider-walking bit. Top tier. it makes me think of all the people watching doctor who recently just for David Tennant because he's having a Tumblr/twitter dilf sexyman resurgence. Watch your man do this (contorts into a crab walk, runs on all fours) :3 thats how we do things in doctor who. nah im joking he's my celeb crush too

.I also really liked the scene with the line of salt. Had to suspend my disbelief for a second: it's not like he salted across the whole room, walk around it maybe? but it was just a great scene, and the """donna"" dropping to her knees and counting the salt was pretty funny.

.Is this villain and the one in Midnight connected? Gotta be, though I feel as if it might never be explained. The mimicry is too similar of a premise and it makes a lot of sense that they'd reference it given that Midnight is generally considered to be one of the 10th Doctors best episodes.

.Do y'all remember when someone edited the IMDB page to say that Billie Piper was in this episode because whoever did that was quite funny. This episode was leagues better than any returning character call-back episode they could have done (and I say that with so much love for her) but I am one of the many people who want A SINGULAR TENTOO MENTION and the clown music is getting louder and im wondering if I should just go grab my rainbow wig and red nose now

.What kind of animal was the captain? A horse? I guess? I want to see what this alien looked like when it was alive. It made me intrigued and I think it was quite a powerful/scary visual that it wasn't a human skull. There was something more unsettling about an animalistic skull- YES of course it would be an alien yeah duh but do you understand? do you find the visual creepy as well?

.Im sorry but the part where the "doctor" just starts GALLOPING on all fours made me lose it. Me at 11 years old on the school playground pretending to be a wolf. What warrior cat do you think the tenth doctor kins (I dont know, but I do know that 12 kins Jayfeather. That's really obvious.)

.Could he not have thought of ANY better question to ask to determine between the two donnas? And why would "it just is" be the answer he went for? The scene where Donna faces death is powerful: breaking a little of her trust for him: he chose the wrong one. it was good stuff. But hey doctor, please explain your thought process behind that whole scene on this blackboard, because I cant get my head around it.

.My mother wants a ramp that spews people out of the door installed in our house for guests.

.I feel like donna was lying when she said she doesn't remember the doctors 15 years past. Or, idk, well. I wrote that but she did say it was like looking into a furnace, so maybe it's true. Donna asking if the doctor will be alright and the doctor saying "I will be" was great but "when?" "in a million years" was a bit much, but im being pedantic.

.Curious about the salt thing... there's much in the specials that's either being set up for the giggle or the next season, and both are intriguing. FWIW, I think when the Meep was referring to the boss the meep was probably referring to the toymaker, (watch me eat my words next week) but the salt thing- would that really be connected to the toymaker?

.wilf.wilfwilfwilf. Apparently, this is the only time before Bernards death that he features in the specials. This hurts the most, but it hurts SO GOOD that he got to be here one last time. and, fictionally, the doctor got to see Wilf one last time. That's so incredible. I'm tearing up. And I stayed with my eyes glued to the credits scene knowing there would be a dedication to him in the end, and I teared up all over again. Bernard Cribbins acting as Wilf is one of those characters that's going to be remembered forever.

.Incredible. So much fun. This was just... FUN. my whole family really enjoyed this one a lot more than the Star Beast (me and mum loved the star beast, my dad didnt, but he loved this one.)

[lightlycareless]

CHAPTER 34 HAS ME RUNNING IN CIRCLES CLAWING AT THE WALLS LOSING MY MIND,,, HELLO?? HELLO??? naoya just absolutely losing his mind writhing in emotional pain,, incredible stuff i agree w the staff. it is exactly like a car crash and i can not take my eyes away. hes so cringefail mariya. girlbossing standing in between the two of them... very strong of her. i talk a lot of shit abt naoya but i hate conflict and i'd probably start shaking and crying if i had to deal with him so mariya being able to just put herself right in the middle of all that and act totally normal about it is VERY impressive. props to y/n too for acting so normally too-- either that or naoyas just extremely oblivious to body language and emotional cues and doesn't notice them freaking the fuck out. 50/50

naoya detective arc,,,, it would be charming of him if he weren't so deranged. in fact its KINDA terrifying how incredibly focused and driven he was to figure everything out no matter how far back he had to trace it. like-- it'd be INSANELY hard to hide anything from him unless absolutely everyone involved in it was able to be IN on it and know how to keep up a lie to him. kinda fucked!

tho on the detective arc part-- it makes perfect sense for HIS deranged ass to immediately jump to the worst conclusion that y/n lied to him, despite the fact i imagine its still possible the package could've been stolen from inside the estate by one of the staff? as in, the worker got the wolf stamp, but it could've been jumbled up or stolen after entering the estate. not like he's thinking that far ahead tho,,,

FINALLY he sees her w naoaki and we get a whole-ass confrontation-- im going NUTS here this was SO intense. naoya's arc here plays on one of my FAVORITE villain tropes, the 'villain who genuinely doesn't realize he's done anything wrong'. those are always so good but rarely do we get the moments of said villain realizing how badly he's fucked up im SO excited for how this is going

the way naoya is genuinely sure he's not done anything wrong and doesn't realize how badly he's hurt her vs. naoaki thinking he's just pretending to be oblivious to get out of consequences- DELICIOUS STUFF. naoaki pulling the "because you *love* her?" in whats probably intended to be a mocking way and then realizing "oh shit. he does actually. oh this is a fucking mess isn't it" and feeling kind of guilty about it... is it weird i want them to make up at some point too in all of this? god knows naoya needs some fucking friends (besides ranta)

"Naoya doesn't... *can't* care for me... because he doesn't care for anyone but himself." Y/N WITH THE STEEL CHAIR,, FROM THE TOP ROPE,, might as well have just shot him. definitely did the equivalent of knocking him unconscious considering he apparently doesn't remember anything that happened afterwards. i like to imagine he just dropped unconscious right on the spot and they just left him there.

the dream sequence part KILLED me i genuinely believed up until maybe midway through this was real. ALSO HE CALLED HIM BROTHER,,, my onii-san joke rings true,, at the funniest possible fucking time,, wish he'd say it outside of a dream,, the y/n sneering at naoya and laughing at him was i think what gave it away-- i was willing to believe her and naoki went off to finally fuck after all that but sry y/n i do NOT believe you're willing to make fun of him that hard to his face yet. yet. i think you should though some time

but fr this WHOLEE dream sequence is soo important to his character its so good at illustrating the fear of failure and rejection and abandonment-- they're SO crippling for him to such a degree he ends up making it worse on himself and making this fucked up self-fulfilling cycle houghhh its so much,,

naoaki getting woken up in the middle of the night to naoya slamming into his room demanding to know where y/n is-- i NEED to know what he thought in that moment he mustve thought naoya's gone fucking insane esp when he just LEAVES right after without explaining anything

and then y/n probably thought she was gonna fucking die when he just showed up out of nowhere. actual jumpscare moment. also her being intrigued by just how disheveled and awful he looks? me too.

WHAT WAS HE GONNA TELL HER. IM WAILING AND CRYING DID HE EVEN HAVE ANYTHING HE WANTED TO SAY OR WAS HE JUST DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET HER TO STAY,, AUGH,, depending how loudly he collapsed to the floor and loud his crying was i wonder if y/n were able to hear him?? i think she should definitely see him crying at least once-- i wonder how she (or naoaki) would even handle him just breaking down into tears,,

ohmygod i wrote. a lot here. anyways. 20/10 chapter. im chewing on him. tysm for these incredible developments im foaming at the mouth to see whats next

Hello!!!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS JUST EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED HAHAHAHAH I THRIVE IN OTHER'S ANGUISH.... lol.

Ahem, anyways... 🤭 I'm glad you liked this chapter!!! This has to be up there, in my top 10 moments of the story (we still have others though... but yeah, still up there) and the one I was dying to write for the longest. I don't know if it was enough "punishment" for Naoya, but it's good to see him be reminded of his stupidity :)

His downfall is something that I think many were expecting tbh, or at least see him get kicked down a notch lol He was out there thinking himself to be the king of the hill for far too long, someone had to remind him he’s not that special 😂

I’m pretty sure the staff’s perception of Y/N changed drastically once again, into a more positive I mean. They’re out there admiring how she was able to do what many couldn’t and can’t help but wonder if she has the potential to ruin the Zen’in if she wanted to—of course, that stops when Naobito is added into the equation, but they still like to daydream about it haha.

Mariya is a character I would consider 100% fed up with Naoya’s (or just about anyone from the clan) shenanigans, so that makes it easier for her to stand up to him, although I’m sure she’s still intimidated by him. Thankfully her extensive knowledge of how everything works around the estate helps her out in these situations, it’s kind of like a… “gray area” for her to exploit—something she can use if she ever gets in trouble with Junko or Meiko for example, she can easily say “I was just doing what was requested of me” and they’d be like “unnnghhhh I guess!!”

Besides, she has job security in the sense that Meiko considers her to be the best worker there (after her, obviously lmao) so she wouldn’t dare lose the order Mariya provides; because she’ll whine and cry about it, enough for Naobito to intervene, making him wonder why she was fired, forcing Meiko to say “well, because Naoya–“ and yeah, I don’t think anyone to be in that situation hahaha so she’s safe.

I’d say Naoya is greatly oblivious to body language when it comes to… socializing? Cause he’s great when it comes to analyzing targets in a jujutsu environment, but even then, I think he’d still be somewhat bad compared to others 😂 he's the kind of person that believes brute force overrules everything else, so he shouldn't worry about those menial details. (Kind of like Endeavor from MHA? Like he's a great hero, but in the sense of crime fighting, he didn't really care about making a fan base or anything else really... OUTSIDE OF SHOTO OF COURSE)

And because Y/N has always been “coy” when he’s around, he doesn’t think much of it outside of being normal behavior from her, so yeah, he didn't get any sense of "something's going on" when she acted the way she did.

Naoya being derange isn’t a surprise to anyone at this point 😭 I’m telling you, he does things that under any normal context it would’ve been sweet, but since he’s… him, it’s not lmao. I can’t imagine how terrified Y/N was upon hearing he went all the way down to the post office just to find out what happened with his gift. He’s determined, that’s for sure, and it makes her wonder what other things he's done already—although at that moment, at the same time she was hoping she’d be able to escape this situation… well, alive, she was mostly worried that her letters might be uncovered too. Thankfully Naoya was focused on something else 💀

And yep, the way he jumped into conclusions was eerie, but I think it was because deep inside him, he knew that was what actually happened. He had enough of bad history with his wife to know that she, more likely than not, discarded his gifts. Did he ever wonder why? No. Would he dare to ask? I don’t think so. And even if he did, would he understand? I think he’d feel offended if anything, more so when Naoaki’s gestures had been happily received. Oof.

Maybe if he wasn’t so paranoid (or heart broken, let’s be real) he might’ve considered someone else from the staff, leading him into another wild goose chase; good, this is revenge for what he put Hinata through.

I’m glad you liked the confrontation!!! It was above everything, awkward, cause there’s no actual confrontation coming from Naoya if that makes sense? Like he’s not open to actual conversations, he just wants to know the why of certain things, and if it fits his ideals, good, if not, God help us.

I definitely believe Naoaki thinks Naoya is so… “isolated” from the real world that he might actually, genuinely not know what he’s doing—can’t blame him, he had Naobito and the rest of the family as guidance lol—but his inability to even consider other possibilities is what always frustrates him 😂 poor Naoaki, he can’t go on with his life without being constantly disappointed by his relatives. (Have Mai and Maki disappointed him too? I wonder...)

My favorite part, and I’ll never stop talking about it hahahah, was when he asked Naoya if he “loved” Y/N aughagaga DAMN the skepticism was there 100% for sureeeeeeeeee, he was hoping to hear his brother say something like “yeah, I do” so he could be like “bullshit!” and continue to take out his frustrations, but the way Naoya remained quiet, looking away almost as if embarrassed!!! Now that’s when he knew there were feelings for her—beneath the complicated layers that make him a monster, Naoya was still capable of harboring sentiments for someone else (Allegedly… all allegedly…) and Naoaki immediately felt bad for putting him on the spot like that. He still cares for his baby brother after all 😭😭😭

I certainly feel bad that their relationship turned into this—I can only wonder what occurred on the manga for Naoya to want them (more) dead lol. If he’s already unhinged at 19, imagine at 27 💀 Ah, but one can dream….

AHAHAHAH Him just spacing out immediately after Y/N said that is, ugh idk satisfying and sad at the same time—like sure I feel sorry that his wife was like “no, you don’t care” and I could’ve had her say something like “ewww” but Y/N isn’t that disrespectful; and come on what was Naoya expecting 😂?? For her to be like “omg I’m so sorry Naoya I should’ve known” please!!! She was appropriate enough to state the truth, that he doesn’t care for anyone but himself, he should’ve just taken it and left them (which he did: I imagine he remained quiet, spacing out as he stared at the two before turning around and disappearing into the hallways. Naoaki and Y/N look at each other, wondering what happened before wondering if he’s going to return. Naoaki tells her no, but that she should be careful nonetheless. Y/N goes with Mariya, tells her staff what went down and collectively decide to keep a low profile—Hitomi offers to keep a lookout on Naoya, only stopping when she overheard that he was in his room and has been for the past few hours. They go on with their day, or attempt to, and that’s when Mariya decides to let them know of her secret hideout)

To irritate Ren, I decided that the song that best fits this scene is this one. And just for a little, tiny part before the chorus and Mel B's part hahahahha. That's the only thing that actually applies to their whole dilemma at this point.

Now, the good part… The dream sequence was the one thing I’ve been wanting to show you for a while now hahah I just kept teasing you about it, and I’m glad it got the reaction it did hahahahhahahhhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I was 99.9999% sure that most of my readers would immediately catch on to the fact that this was a dream, since I’ve never portrayed Y/N to be that crazy, you know? Like her making fun of Naoya is off the table completely; sure, she’s made some jokes here and there, but they’re always lighthearted—or at least I think that’s the impression one gets when reading them—never off the rails as this dream sequence 💀 leave that to Naohiko lol.

Either way, I tried my best to cover the fact it was a dream, and if someone saw right through it, it still served to show just how messed up Naoya is on an emotional at this moment.

But yeah, this nightmare worked really well ‘cause there was that lingering question of whether Naoaki and Y/N were finally going to do something more… intimate. I feel that if I hadn’t worked their relationship up to that point it would’ve easily been like “nah, this is a dream goodbye” 😈 glad it worked in the end hahahah!!!

Now that it’s mentioned, the scene where Naoaki is disrupted by Naoya is ironically funny—it was so out of the blue first he was like “I sleep” and then Naoya comes into his room to ask the most random question before leaving.

Naoaki for sure thought he made it up—he was worried for Y/N and overworked by all his duties that he was like “Man, I’m even starting to dream about Naoya wtf??” his slumber overtook him almost immediately after; had he not been that exhausted you can be 100% certain he would’ve gone after Naoya.

And I agree—Y/N for sure thought she was going to die at that moment, although it was a fear that quieted down a bit for the sake of her staff’s wellbeing… yet, the thing that surprised her the most was to see Naoya so… disturbed—he’d seen him angry, arrogant, a complete monster… but she’d never seen him so defeated. So yeah, I think she believed she was going to die, but more in a sense of shock of not knowing what the hell was going on.

Now, for your last question… Naoya desperately wanted to keep her there above anything else, but his broken heart also wanted to tell her that he did care for her, at least to some extent, if not then why would he have married her? A mystery for sure. If I had to boil it down to a singular reason, it was him wanting to tell her how much he wants to be with her. Happily, be with her.

(No one heard Naoya cry, outside of Y/N retreating as quickly as possible, I envision him to be a silent crier in a way, not wanting anyone to hear him out of fear of being reprimanded more than shame—Naobito as a father must’ve been really, really tough. And if anyone did hear him, they would’ve never thought it was him to begin with.)

Thank you so much for tuning in for another chapter!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️ I really greatly, enormously enjoy your asks, they give me so much insight about things that sometimes escape my mind!! Kgagagkak I don’t know how to describe it, but they motivate me allot 😭❤️

I can’t wait to show you the rest of the story…. Another…. Specific part I want you to read (well, more than one, but that one is another favorite of mine) hahahahahaaa

Once again, thank you so much for your support 🥺😭❤️ I shall strive to deliver the next chapters to the best of my ability!!!

Take care, and hope to see you soon 🥺❤️

[cursezoroark]

playing desolation, and by the time I post this I will have Caught up to Desolation! This is my own opinion and review on the game! For the record I've only played Rejuv and now Desolation of the entire series. In terms of pokemon fangames i have played ep 1 of Flux , Gaia, and Unbound. Disclaimer and TLDR: the game is Very good as I expected I had fun :] . The devs worked their ass off and the fact this game is free and has this much shown effort is so awesome. when ep 7 comes out i Will be reviewing once again. It wont be for more than a year though given the recent dev update. either way!

Pros:

I love the spritework sort of thing for the dialogue, when important characters come on. It's very pretty!

the credits system is gen p interesting. motivator for getting exclusive pokemon and items and even the capsules + mints, which imo is much better than the AP system that was in rejuv. its more easier to achieve and more incentive.

also HELL YEAH sidequests! I loved the tidbits of main lore u get from certain ones, and certain choices. Inch resting!

The difficulty still makes me work Hard to think but doesn't kill me with a bajillion reset and planning so that's all fair and good 👍 the only one I had to rlly drive home for was Jarred. Jesus fucking Christ. i had valerie flashbacks from rejuv but its worse cause it was a DOUBLE BATTLE.

the SPARKLES. lifesaver for me who loves the shiny sprite reworks in this game. i have a beautiful shiny greninja, umbreon, hydreigon, and vikavolt. Vikavolt is my favorite shiny i love whoever reworked that. Jade is so so pretty :]

the music is KILLER. Vs Shiv and Vs Nova is Good. Very Good. honestly the ost choices here rock. one of the best ost selections i enjoyed it very much.

interesting story! I can sort of peel bits of it off and it'll probably come back later to haunt me. Act 3 REALLY ramps up stuff so it did sweep a good amount of confusion I’ve had since the beginning. Act 3 was great. I miss Tristan. Nova's character is Great when it reaches a certain plot point.

I love the rangers bases, and the sidequest lore does build up nicely on the side. its starting to interfere with the main story too which hmmmmmmm hm hm hm. i will wonder about that.

Criticisms/ personal nitpicks:

i mentioned this above but i wish the ui for sidequests was a bit more clear. Like location wise, where to go, and all that. Icons above characters would rlly help me distinguish things.also PLEASE add flashing settings and shaking sets automatically to the options board pls pls pls.

I hope there will be more featured fields in the future. I did mention this was the more lax difficulty ive been through involving fields, and i watched playthroughs of reborn and played rejuv myself. (idk if theres more games with the field system but do let me know its literally one of my fav things). Like it went from oh God to oh ok to hmm to Oh God like a cycle. Though I think that’s just on my team balancing rlly

Please..... more TM versatility. While it does allow me to get creative with my team choices, it also limits what I can actually do. My TM pool is so low and i want to get creative so bad :']]]. The TM shop at Sunshell was a huge improvement though. very stingy though at lvl 65-70s though.

i Do Not like the maps for specifically silver forest and blackview. Its either very cluttering and makes me walk in Direct Circles, or leaves me very lost when im searching for a specific area. I do get the "open area" aspect of Silver mountain though, and it was easier once I got all the bridges down but still yk? but i literally couldn't find the move relearner Anywhere in blackview. it took me forever.

I wish i had more time to spend with some of the characters (Scarlett particularly) so i could rlly grow attached. I do understand that these are mostly main plot points blasting off from each other, but i just wish I could have had more interactions with the characters? More funny dialogue, more MC options to talk and affect relationship values, yk? I do anticipate an arc for a particular someone coming up though. so we'll see. the plot did do a rlly good job at the ceilia leaders though I adore All of them.

some of the language i winced at. idk if its just me so ill leave this one in the air. i dont know how to feel because im muddled.

In a way, because the plot blasts off one another, the room for me to acknowledge the changes in characters or their relationship between each other was a bit small. Like Connor and Scarlett, I think I only got like two cutscenes or tidbits of their entire growing friendship, so it didn't rlly hit me when The Scene Happened. Either way I do like themboth thumbs up.

SPOILERS THOUGHTS DO NOT READ IF U HAVENT PLAYED OR DO NOT WANT TO KNOW:

I ADORE Cecilia’s leaders. I’ve seen complaints how we seem to be Stuck There for some time and. Yeah I can sorta agree with that. Despite being Rlly Huge it also makes me Yearn for the Routes yk? either I love them all I Adore them dearly. Garrett is my favorite he got to me. Reeve and Rosetta and Aaron are all so very charming in their dynamics and gym leader squabbles.

Waldenhall is a Great Character in his introduction holy shit what an impact this guy had. also artem's sprite made me laugh so hard because their (idk their gender) portrait is just staring straight at the camera whats up w that.

Conclusion:

Should you play this game? YES. its quality is amazing, the artwork is insane, the gameplay is so good for pokemon fans who enjoy a good challenge, and want to get into some existential crises. In general, this series is So Far the easiest in the reborn deso rejuv trio. but it doesn't by far make it bad, or a cakewalk for players. Have a good ol time with it. My criticisms are my own nitpicks, but i rlly admire how much effort devs put into their fangames, by semblance of story, custom art, custom maps, etc. appreciate them lots and lots more. This game in particular weighs your choices a lot more, so you rlly have to snoop around for a particular result that you want. all in all lots of good fun!

Hope to review this again in Ep 7! and here's a goodbye from my Current Team :]

[loathsomespider]

Oooh wouldja be so kind as to go into a bit more detail re: rejecting vs. ignoring canon? Would you say it's a bit like that one Brecht idea of "Not X, But Y"? Love reading your stuff, have a good one!

oooh, i hadn't actually heard this expressed in words before but with regards to the not / but idea before. but it is basically exactly like this, yeah. im only really skimming the wikipedia page since i do not really have the capacity to go take acting lessons right now, but it hits a lot of the same beats. i describe it as a kind of haunting, largely because i work on vast error as well and we love a good haunting when we're circled around the spritecooler.

it's also a trope that homestuck pulls from a lot - this kind of haunting by what you are not. you see it a lot in dirks relationship to daves bro, in vriska vs (vriska), in rose and jasprose, and the last non-goof pesterlog in homestuck is about terezi wishing that, if she couldn't be that more successful self, that she could at least remember what that more successful self did.

but this extends beyond the bounds of just "homestuck canon", the versions of characters we see on screen, but also, every depiction of the character, ever. vast error kind of gets at this in some interesting ways too, stuff like alternate timelines being "probabilities", where the more something happens in an alternate timeline, the more likely it is to happen in the "canon" timeline.

it gets called "fanfic brain" sometimes, but i think it's even more malleable than just fanfics. its easy to blame fanfics because so often they rely on repetition and derivatives, and it echoes on itself in that way. but stuff like the requiem cafe height charts, the way characters are depicted in pesterquest, the way big name fans draw them, the way your circle of friends on discord post about them, and how much investment you put into any of them, they all influence the way a character is read, intentionally or not.

but the thing is, stuff like the requiem cafe, pesterquest routes, big name fans, meta posts, they're all derivatives of the source material. that doesn't make them bad, by any means, and in a lot of cases, they can be really, really good. and that doesn't make the source material good, either - in a lot of cases, it can be really, really bad.

but there is still value to be found in the bad, and that i think is the important distinction in rejecting vs ignoring. it may suck ass, but it's there for a reason. and sometimes, that reason is as simple as "andrew hussie is pretty racist", and then you can just not be racist (to the best of your ability, anyway, something something interrogate your base assumptions) and move on.

but sometimes its more complex than that.

for example, the trickster arc is actually vastly improved by the homestuck epilogues's existence. the way the analogy of meat and candy shakes out in homestuck is kind of underdeveloped, and it might not be entirely graspable what exactly the trickster arc is getting at, even during the end when hussie and caliborn talk directly about what the point of that was.

and its not entirely flawless in the epilogues either (see: 16k word blog post i wrote about it a few years ago) but having that more clear picture of the mindset that the trickster lollipop and "candy" as an image represents does genuinely make it better. it's something i look forward to seeing on rereads instead of just dreading like a6i3.

it kind of gets to what i think is fun about writing a derivative and/or transformative work - there is the "play with all your action figures at once" feeling that i think most people get immediately, but its also in the challenge of making something meaningful out of playing with all your action figures at once, but that meaning doesnt have to come from just the good parts - the bad parts are just as meaningful to me

its also kind of difficult to separate things like growing up as a boy scout and having "leave things better than you found them" drilled into my mind forever. because it is sort of an interesting idea, right? obviously, the next step then, is that "better" is a really subjective thing, and worth interrogating.

is it actually improving things? by what means are you judging that improvement? bdth jane is spiritually a high school dropout going through an identity crisis. she's a nosey prick and had a full meltdown after she casually ran into someone who's not even her ex. that's really different from homestuck^2 jane, who is an on-screen child abuser, one of just two on-screen rapists in homestuck, horrendously troll-racist, etc. etc.

a lot of people like bdth jane more than hs2 jane - it's one of the most common pieces of feedback i get - but if i'm being honest with myself, that doesn't mean much to me? not because i'm insecure about my jane, it's just like. yeah, i can imagine you do like the down to earth weirdgirl more than the antagonist of a beloathed webcomic. but i dont know if that makes bdth jane better than hs2 jane, just because the metrics for "better" arent the same as the metrics for "liked" yknow.

tl;dr: when youre writing something derivative/transformative and decide to not engage with a part of a story, you are left with a hole you have to fill, since that piece youre removing was there for a reason. and i imagine most people want to fill it with something better, but you also have to know what "better" looks like because "i like it more" isnt always right

[beautouslysandy]

idk if you still do matchups but here is mine, it’s for outer banks, and it’s anonymous bc I am a 🐱. :

I’m on the shorter side for girls, like 5’3ish, but everyone else in my family is TALL ASF so im a fast walker. I have light brown straight hair and curtain bangs (that take far too long to style), hazel eyes, fair skin, and my cheeks are always flushed so it always looks like im blushing when im not (most times).

My friends tell me im very funny and outgoing but deep down I am very sensitive and emotional- I’ve just found ways to hide it. I’m an extremely loyal friend, and I’ll defend a friend even if I don’t agree with what my friend said or did. I’m very shy and quiet when I meet people at first, but once I’m comfortable it’s hard to get me to shut up.

Im always listening to music, and i swear one of my super powers is knowing the lyrics to every song. I stay up late making playlists and reading books. I randomly get outbursts of energy where I can run 5 miles no problem and feel like running in circles around a room, but I’m also constantly tired and always sleeping.

I laugh really hard at stupid things, like videos with animals or the impractical jokers show.

I don’t think I’m clumsy, but apparently I am because I always have something wrong with me. Like if I don’t have a third degree burn on my arm than I have a broken finger and if not that than I’m limping. Like I always am going to the doctor to either get a cast or medicine for an injury.

I’m very good at talking my way into and out of things, but I don’t do it often bc I get anxious.

Also random fun fact: EVERYBODY is convinced I smoke 🍃 when I don’t. Im told its because I’m very calm and can hide my nervousness well- I think its because I could get hit by a car and still be calm and collected, I’m just very zen at all hours and I don’t know how.

This is probably tmi but it’s kind of fun to debrief!!

honestly i think we would be good friends if we knew each other in real life! just a little fun fact about me, i am told I have a very loud personality meaning i am extremely outgoing and stuff haha.

it is fun to debrief! glad you enjoyed it!

hope you like your match up!

OUTERBANKS:

john b, one hundred percent. i think he likes having some calmness in his life, he has got quite the chaotic life. and he loves loves having a short girlfriend, he definitely will tease you about it every now and then but you he is just joking. anybody else though, they won't see the day of light ever again. i think he would find your sparks of energy very amusing. he always gets super worried when you get hurt, he warns you that you should be more careful. he has successfully caught you a few times preventing you from getting hurt, a few times. he probably loves that you are so calm, like said before. it’s nice to have something calm and dependable in his life. i think he loves making you laugh so he will say really idiotic stuff just to hear that laugh he loves so much, it makes his day to see you happy knowing that he is the reason you are. you guys probably watch those try not laugh animal version videos on youtube and just sit there cackling like a pair of little kids. he likes to help you sometimes with your hair and at some point he has mastered it but that is in the fair future (sorry john b). i think his favorite thing about you are your personality, it’s super important to him that his significant other has a good personality that he loves and you provide that. he respects your loyalty as he is as well, i think he is comforted with the fact knowing you are super loyal to him. when you first meet the group they are confused on why john b and you are together as he doesn’t really go for shy girls but once you break out of your shell and the true you shows, they understand. he loves to play with your hair, he loves it when you get flushed to the face because he thinks it’s adorable.

little drabble/skit

“hey, sweetheart, oh are you doing your hair?” john b said peering into your room.

“yeah.” you said looking at him though your mirror

“want some help? i am a professional.” he said with a chuckle as headed over to you to give you a kiss on the cheek

“yes please, i need some professional help.” you said laughing

“okay, then. prepare to be wowed.” he says as he starts to style your hair, five minutes in and he has already burned his finger two times

“ahh, shit!” he exclaims

“burn your finger, again? want me to do it?” you ask with a sympathetic smile, you grab his hand and kiss his finger

“thanks, babe. i wanna do this for you, you do a lot for me…it’s the least i can do.” he says with a smile

“okay. just let me know if you want me to take over.”

he nodded and then went back at it

ten minutes later

“ahh, shit!”

[codeform]

I just saw your posts about gender for that Clu person, and based on their responses, I think this is someone who is dealing with a lot of uncertainty and they were hoping for a certain answer for their question. Maybe not a permanent one, but a springboard or starting point. They are probably looking for a starting point that's a little more specific than 'whatever u want' because I think they might've said (or suggested) they aren't sure what they want.

Your answers are correct, of course, but speaking from personal experience on other topics, it can be frustrating asking for a simple yet specific answer (in this case, that would be an answer like 'cis male' or 'transfem') and getting only broad generalities. Might I suggest supplying them with some terms that seem to be a pretty close fit to what they described? You wouldn't be labeling them, you'd just be giving them some things to Google so they can see if it fits them. A place to start their gender identity journey from (because some people do feel more secure when they have that 'label' and this person might be one of those. And that's completely okay if they need that.)

Hope this helps you and them!

i Absolutely agree w u anon! but (and i am speaking as sm1 whose early exploration was almost entirely based off of discussions w highschool friends— all 2nd hand information. which is its own can of worms hsdfjkjs) i do think its important to like. do that initial footwork yourself?

bc (n im glad u agree!) there is just no neat answer!! esp not w nonbinary genders!! I (a man who has a very weird gender itself) am still constantly learning!! and i did edit one of my rbs but idk if Hal saw, but i think a very good place to start is less "what is upsetting me abt my gender" but rather "what is making me happy" — this is just generally a less painful jumping-off point too, bc its usually easier to work through when you're confused (its a lot to unpack upset/pain/confusion at the SAME TIME!!! not fun)

i will stick by honestly wikipedia as a genuinely useful surface level resource. install shinigami eyes so u dont wind up on transphobic sites and it has a solid rundown of both your "basic" terms and the history of the community, especially bc it is very hard if impossible to get an answer when youre asking sm1 else "heres what i feel now what am i." skhsdhf

and no hate!!! genuinely!!! thats a very easy place to wind up in, where u just WANT a clear-cut answer from sm1 else, but like i said b4: nobody knows you better than YOU!! i think theres like. this idea that we all just Knew and the truth is no, i promise we did not. we have all googled "nonbinary definition" "demigender definition" "neopronouns definition" i went thru 2 whole entire genders b4 i settled on Man and MORE AFTER THAT before settling on Man But Weird

AND ALSO. i am open to questions!!!!!!! but i am A WEIRD DUDE W AUTISM AND I AM NOT BUILT FOR MAKING SENSE!!!!! i promise i AM trying!!! and will continue to try!!! but it is abt to be June and pride is this month and wholeheartedly go to your local pride events if you are confused!!!!!! take to queer ppl who are both prepared to answer questions AND can provide much more relevant, local(!!!) resources — and talk to queer elders!!!! meet the coolest people in the world forever!!!!

but yea to circle back 2 th point i was like. Trying to make. doing that initial footwork yrself is the easiest i think bc you know you. i promise even tho it seems daunting it WILL ultimately be less confusing than trying 2 play 2nd hand telephone even if yr playing w friends (like i did. not ideal — wasnt safe for me to research myself but still Not Ideal)

[roguestarsailor]

i went to two house parties today and uhh only in the last one is where i actually talked about politics and the guy DID NOT like that. i feel bad for making a few folks in the room feel uncomfortable (to the point where they physically moved away) but i can’t help it!!!!! i truly think what hes saying is bullshit and he might actually be committing fraud i think i should report it?? but ive always used the unspoken rule of not reporting things and like not blowing things out of proportion.

it started because idk why he popped into our circle where we were discussing DATING and ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS to ask if we were going to vote in the elections on Tuesday. A few wanted to talk about the billions of props that are being proposed on  the ballot this year but the guy ended up talking about affirmative action. the thing is that its a us supreme court decision, also he is canadian and whole heartedly identifies as chinese and when asked if hes register to vote in this state he said they dont check that. and i was annoyed with that but i got angry and just asked him point blank questions about  why its so important for him to participate in OUR election that DOESNT effect him in the slightest (not mention what he is saying is ILLEGAL and a point of tension in our current political climate). he says he has “brothers and sisters” in the US and he will make sure they get rid of race based admissions for colleges.

he tried to tell us facts but people  started looking  up their phones and says hes wrong and hes like no trust me. its there and everyone’s like ...literally google says no... but he was so insistent. i was quite annoyed and was just like you think race is the biggest deciding factor in school adminissions?? and pointed out  how long our applications are -- gpa, test scores, essays, extracurriculars, etc and also admission officers are looking at it wholistically and they are creating a culture too so it makes sense. esp since these are private entities so they can technically do whatever. but  anyways i said that the application process is already a lot that race wouldn’t be placed high on the list and he just left. like he just left the group and hung out with another group of people.  and everyone was like SHRUG. the other ppl returned to the group and we just talked about something  else.

i felt like i made a good point and it really punched the hole into his arguments but it did not sit right with me that he’s trying to illegally vote... theres a 50/50 chance he can be turned away or he can get away with it because of how he looks and maybe acts. election officials are nice and want to make sure everyone can vote. he’s abusing this system or at least what he’s proposing and alluding to is abusing the system and i hate him for that. for a stupid reason also. i dont feel as hot headed about politics anymore. i think im just really tired and i think theres so much at play on how tech and the circles you  run in shapes  your politics.

the first house party i went to, my roommate briefed me on the fact that these people are wealthy and they have another idea about politics. i didn’t say much of anything while with them and just let them chatter away on what they think. i dont think i really want to know what they think about anything at all and it’s like they live in a completely different reality so they can’t hold the same perspectives i hold so i’ve just backed off from that.

i’ve been taking that route for the most part. this is the first time i really confronted the guy and said what i needed to say. i think i won because he just abruptly left. i think i made a good point and he refuse to acknowledge it. i also dont like him -- like i absolutely will not associate with him ever again. which is probably why i stopped asking and talking about politics now. i think in this city, everyone is wealthly and wants to be wealthy and wanted to take advantage of it when they can. i think its a lot of fluff and most are full of shit. pride and pro abortions and all but they are all veryy rich and have very privileged backgrounds and i hardly think they participate nor think about how the city at large functions which is why i dont want to talk to them about it and i really dont want to know too much because i will always have a sour taste with them.

[revui]

Hello! I have returned. I wish to know more about Colum, if you feel like sharing. I don't know if i asked about him specifically before but most of your answers somehow circle back to him so i feel like hes. important. (Also feel free to ramble man. My asks are pretty broad but I always like to hear what you have to say. I dont know. You've mentioned in the past that you've cut your rambling short for my sake, so im asking, for my sake, for you to stop doing that. im curious and its hella convenient when i dont even have to ask a question to get an answer yknow? much love friendo. hope we're on friend terms at least. we're mutuals no?)

SCREAMING

YOU'VE ENABLED ME. YOU'VE OPENED THE FLOODGATES. COLUM TIME

The main reason he comes up all the time: I'm constantly thinking about him, so I try to shake as much Colum content as I can out of my brain in an attempt to cure my blorbo illness. So far, it has not worked.

First thing to know: a lot of his development was influenced by Spamton. That guy. Spamton G Spamton Number 1 Rated Salesman 1997. You can tell. Colum is a filthy disgusting little freak of a conman. Miserable swagless piece of shit. He lives in my brain.

enemy of the state

He's got tboy swag and a net worth of 33 cents. Although pretty much every character is trans, because I said so, but Colum's the one having the most fun with it (second only to Veerabelle, and you can tell she has fun with her tgirl swag because she purposely named herself Veerabelle).

Since he's also from Ivory Ridge, which I'm pretty sure I mentioned somewhere, he has demonic heritage, and he's descended from a type of demon that was (very inaccurately) referred to as "genies." They were semi-corporeal dealmakers who were powered by metal, and thus would often approach both sorcerers and other demons to get their money (and then eat their money; one man's treasure is another man's dinner). Colum's heritage is distant enough that he doesn't have a lot of traits other than a penchant for shiny things and the fact that he does, on occasion, eat coins.

Now let's talk about why he's broken!

First, he still lives in Ivory Ridge. A lot of buildings were destroyed, but not all of them, and he resides completely alone in the remnants of his old house because while Quin was lucky enough to be found by his moms, Colum was just alone. Claudia's plan to orchestrate the attack was supposed to end up with her as the head of Divination (which she got) while keeping her husband and son alive, but after news of her husband's passing reached her, she assumed that the raiders had gone back on the deal and had killed Colum as well, so she didn't think to check until the kid showed up a couple years later at Wildwood. The realization that the little bastard was alive was... y'know, a bit shocking for her. Although Colum has yet to catch on.

He suppressed the majority of the attack, pushing all those memories deep into his subconscious, along with a lot of his childhood memories from before the attack. Just locked all those away, very neatly. If you can't see the trauma, it can't hurt you. That's how it works, probably, maybe. Colum will die before he introspects.

He's a painter, which is fun, but when he's not painting, he's either making the actual paints, digging around the ruins for random stuff to sell, or in the Night Market selling the random stuff he found. He doesn't even know what he's marketing half the time, but he's absurdly good at getting people to buy things.

Colum is, at times, the most crushingly desperate person alive. He's got about fifteen layers of theatrics over his actual feelings, but there are points where it'll leak out just a bit. There's one scene, very early in the story, where he's asking Veerabelle how much money she has for Totally Legal reasons, borderline mugging her, but every single amount that he gives as an estimate is pitifully low. The highest he mentions is fifty lunars (lunars being the currency in the Foreverlands), which is roughly equivalent to 30 or 40 cents, which isn't even enough to buy like... one egg.

Now, I'm going to derail for a second, just because I need to illustrate my point. Percy, the 12-year-old, is 4'7", which is pretty short for a boy his age, but still within a plausible range. Percy weighs 94 pounds, which is a very normal and healthy weight, all things considered. Colum is four years older than Percy at age 16, and is ten inches taller at 5'5". So you'd think, or at least hope, that Colum weighs more. But he doesn't. No. Colum is lighter than the literal pre-pubescent child, clocking in at just around 88 pounds. He is withering away. Someone get him a sandwich. Or one egg. Or anything edible. No wonder he's so fucking weird, he's basically delirious with hunger all the time.

Moving on from that. Colum dyes his hair! It was naturally black and started turning gray when he was absurdly young, and then it started turning white. But Colum hates the white and isn't a huge fan of black either, so he keeps it gray and dyes out any white, which at this point, is most of his hair. Also, something you can't see in that Picrew is that he has heterochromia, with one blue eye and one brown eye, which I just think is neat.

So, the way he uses magic is actually kind of unconventional, which is to be expected at this point. There are lots of different ways to cast magic, but most people require a focus, anything that a sorcerer can channel their magic through. Quin uses glyphs, Veer uses a staff, there's a guy named Pippin who uses incantations (which is basically turning your spoken words into the conduit for your magic)—and Colum does sort of use incantations, but he doesn't speak out loud. Instead, he writes them down on a piece of paper and crushes it, turning that paper into a burst of magic.

A quick aside for the sake of explaining another weird thing he does—Necromancy is a special case because it has its focus built in, and that focus is "life force." This strange, tangible, fog-like substance that exists in every living thing, that only Necromancers are allowed to command. They don't need a conduit because they channel their magic directly into the life force. And a fact about Colum, he almost studied Necromancy before deciding on Divination, so he's quite familiar with how it works. And as a result, he has a theory. Which is never a good thing for him to have. And that theory goes something like this: when a Necromancer removes life force from a living creature, they are using life force as a focus. Therefore, that life force can be destroyed for the sake of powering another spell, the same way Colum can take a simple sheet of paper and convert it into pure magic.

And he does test this out, in quite possibly the worst time and place. For a period of time leading up to this, Colum's seemingly been off doing his own thing, not contributing anything to the group, as he always has his face shoved into a book. He's reading and studying almost obsessively about life force and Necromancy and its history and how focuses work and how magic works biologically and all kinds of things, and it seems like he's just distracted or doesn't care, but once the plan is on and everyone needs to get moving, he's perfected his own little plan.

See, he noticed a fairly major flaw in the group's plan, but he knew that pointing it out would just cause problems. Other than that one issue, the plan was fine, so he didn't want them throwing out the whole thing. Instead of telling them, he went off on his own to look for a solution, a way that he could solve it without ever telling anyone about the problem in the first place, and the answer that he came to is probably the dumbest and most reckless one he could've picked. It all hinged on his theory being true, that life force could be destroyed for use as a focus. That part, he was confident in. The real problem, though, was the question of whether a creature would survive having its life force destroyed. When you just have a bit of your life force removed, it can eventually return. But when you have a bit of it destroyed, it will never return, and he didn't know whether that would be deadly or not. So, being the absolute idiot genius he is, he tried out his theory without giving anyone prior warning of his little scheme, in the middle of a very intense moment.

Good news: it worked. Bad news: it worked. Because turns out, ripping out part of your own life force and destroying it to power a spell isn't medically advisable, and in fact, DEFINITELY should've killed him if not for his Necromancer friend nearby.

Ah, Colum. Why did I make you like this?

[spheredotorb]

ok but have i ever mentioned how i love it when traditionally "cute" things are associated with power and strength

[dancingintheraindreamingonday]

You will always be the winter soldier - Chapter 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Author’s Note: 

This is a flashback of your past with Bucky. Somethings weren’t witnessed by Bucky or you because I just want to give more details about the thoughts of other people as well. So this is definitely written in a third person perspective. This chapter is really long but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. 

Bucky sits in a plane to Munich. Sam got information that the leader of the Flag smashers are currently working there. 

Bucky remembers the last time he was in Germany. It feels like an eternity ago.

„Tell me why I need to watch this series again.“, Bucky looked absolutely annoyed. 

„Its a classic. Everyone knows this series. It’s like general knowledge.“ You answered while scribbling something on your paper. 

„ And why aren't you watching this series?“ 

„Well my love, I know this series by my heart.“, you smiled at him and then saying the exact same thing the actor said on the screen proving him that you really do know this series.

Minutes later you closed your math book with a loud thump and throwing it on the ground. 

"I'm sorry. I don't want to torture you with this series. Maybe I can make it up to you." You winked at Bucky and kissed him on his right cheek. 

„Probably you will find a way.“, Bucky smiled mischievously and kissed you right on your lips with both of his hands on your cheeks. 

You and Bucky weren’t virgins but you both never had sex with each other yet. It made you nervous. 

And Bucky was nervous as well.The last time he had sex was an eternity ago and women changed through the times. Now women are so much more emancipated and strong-minded.

You kissed him. On his face, throat, neck and down his torso. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. 

In this night you and Bucky didn’t have just sex- you made love that night. It was something absolutely soft, and warm and caring about it. 

There was no much of talking and there was no pressure- it was just pure love without saying the word itself. 

Everything changed from that night on. From that day on you both were a couple, without labeling it.

Two weeks later Bucky accompanied you to university. It was something he did regularly and you enjoyed it. It gave your the feeling he was just a normal guy spending time with his girlfriend. And James from Bucharest was  indeed almost a normal guy. While you were bubbling about a math problem no one except math students could understand, he noticed a man.

Bucky knew when he was being followed and it agitated him. 

Now that he wasn’t just concerned with his life but also concerned with your safety it made him anxious. 

He grabbed your right arm and pulled you in a small alley.

You looked at him confused and scared. „What’s going on?“, you asked not understanding his sudden behavior. 

„I wanted to give this to you.“ Bucky pulled out a small mobile phone from his pocket. You looked confused because you already had a smartphone in your trouser pocket. 

„It’s a safe line. So, if you’re in danger or you just think you’re in danger- call me and I will come and get you.“

„You’re scarring me. Are you in trouble? Are WE in trouble? Do we need to run?“ You looked at him, touching his face to make sure he calmed down.

„No. Don’t worry. Everything’s alright.“ Bucky lied. „I’m just taking precautions.“

You doubted this reassurance.

„I can ditch university. I can come with you.“

„No. It calms me down to know that you’re safe at university.“ 

„Okay. But don’t forget: If you jump, I jump, remember?“ You quoted the movie you both watched last night. 

„You’re stuck with me. Where you go, I go.“

He kissed the palm of your left hand. „I’m not going anywhere.“, Bucky lied again. 

And with that he accompanied  you to university. As he left, you walked into your class and you took out your phone and your homework. You checked the latest news. The day before there was a bombing in Vienna but on this day there were breaking that there’s a picture of a suspect. The picture showed no other than Bucky himself. Your heart stopped for a moment and you couldn’t think clearly. This explained his behavior and fear. You knew he was innocent- no doubt about that. You knew the man you fell in love with and James would never do such thing. The only conclusion was that he was being fraud by someone else. You decided to skip the class and go home to find James. 

When you arrived outside, the campus was quite empty because the majority of the students were already in their classes. As you walked to the gate a man was calling you.

„Hey! Wait!“ He jogged to you. 

„You’re working with Bucky, aren’t you? You’re his accomplice.“ The man in front of you assumed. 

„None of your business.“, you muttered. You wanted to pass him but he stopped you by grabbing your shoulder. 

„My name’s Sam Wilson and you really need to come with me.“, he said, scarring you with his words.

His grip was so tight that you couldn’t break free.

„Im not coming with you. Who do you think you are?“

„I’m working with Captain America.“ He said. You could hear the pride in his voice.

„So? That doesn’t make you an authority. I don’t trust you.“

„You saw the picture, didn’t you? You saw the picture of him in the newspaper. You don’t strike me as a dumb person, yeah? You know what this picture means. They are after him. They are already here. So I need your help.“

„Why do you need my help? He’s innocent. That picture is fake and I know it. But do you? Do you believe in his innocence or what aim do you really pursue?“

Sam didn’t answer but he also didn’t let go of you. So the only thing that you could do was to kick him between his legs. But your head start wasn’t for long. You can’t outrun an athlete. He caught you with his hand which made you stumbled and you fell face forward on the ground. Your lip was bleeding. 

„Im sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you.“

As you looked around you saw police officers pointing their guns at you and Sam. 

„You called the police?!“ You asked unbelievably.

„Ey. They’re pointing their guns at me too. So no- I didn’t call the police.“ 

They handcuffed you both and took off. Sam talked with someone via earpiece: „I’ve got her but the police got us both. I’m sorry.“

At the same time, Bucky, Steve and King T’Challa were also handcuffed. Steve looked at his childhood friend and shared the information Sam just gave him: „I’m sorry, but they’ve got her.“ 

To say that Bucky was furious was an understatement: He would burn down the whole city if they’d hurt her. 

When you arrived at the office in Berlin you couldn’t stop all the questions that were floating in your mind. „Why are we here? Since when is Germany responsible for crimes that happened in Vienna or Bucharest? Why were German police officers in Romania? What the heck is going on?“ You asked but everyone was ignoring you. 

Minutes later a man entered the room and you realized that this was Tony Stark. „Who is that?“ He asked, pointing his finger at you. You didn’t bother to answer him. You just turned your head away. „Alright. Kinda mean but we will get the answers anyway.“ He sat down next to Steve. „Is the thing you have with him even legal?“, he asked you again.

„You tell me. He was born in 1917. I was born 80 years later.“

Tony scrunched up his nose. 

The screen was turned on and you saw James. „Why is he in a cage? Why is there no lawyer? Is this how Germany practices its law now? Did you tell him his right to silence?“ You asked almost aggressively 

„You’re audacious and naive.“, said a man in a suit. 

„Stop insulting me. James is as innocence as I am. He wasn’t in Vienna and I told you that from the beginning. And no one in this damn room is listening. You’re just looking for a guy to take the blame. I don’t know how America treats their suspects but here in Germany they have human rights as well. They have dignity and they are still treated with respect and decency. All people have rights. We learned that 70 years ago and we will never ever forget it, understand?“, you spatted. „You imprisoned and treat him as if he’s a monster.“

„My dear child, do you know what he just did today in Bucharest? The damage he caused?“, the man screamed. 

„But it were you with the loaded guns, right?“

„He’s not just a suspect. He’s the delinquent.“

„In some countries there is a trial for this question to be answered, but you seemed to be hangman and judge in once.“ You provoked him. This was so unlike you that you really couldn’t understand the anger that was inside you. 

„I like her.“ Tony said. „She’s loyal like a golden retriever.“

„Stop insulting me even more. I’m defending the man I love that doesn’t mean I’m a puppy wagging its tail.“ 

Before anyone could say anymore to worsen the situation the power was gone for merely seconds but the power was back, Bucky disappeared from the video. Everyone in the room turned around and looked at you. 

„How are you going to explain this.“ Tony asked you 

„Kid, you stay here. Don’t even think about leaving this room.“ As Tony walked downstairs he asked himself if you’re related to a woman he met over 20 years ago who happens to have the same last surname like you did. No, unlikely. Almost impossible. 

Bucky, in his winter soldier mode only had one aim: to kill as many people as possible. But something was off. He hasn’t been the winter soldier for quite some time and the impact you had. The thought that you were hurt made him even more lethal. His priority was to find you and made sure you were okay. So everyone who fought him was a threat, an enemy.

It ended in a cafeteria where Bucky held a gun to the head of a seemingly important man. Bucky was circled with dozen of agents, all pointing a gun at him. 

„Where is she? Where is (y/f/n)?“ Bucky asked

„She’s okay. You don’t need to worry about her.“, Steve assured Bucky

„I don’t trust you. I need to see her.“ 

„We can bring her here. So you can see it for yourself.“ Steve suggested while Bucky just nodded. 

Steve and Tony ran upstairs and Tony grasped Steve by his arm. „What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t bring her downstairs to him. He’s dangerous and she’s just a kid. You can’t control him.“

„He isn’t dangerous and I don’t think he would hurt her. After all they are something like a couple. She knows him. And we will be there as well. Trust me, Tony. Nothing will happen.“

So they both accompanied you downstairs. 

You’ve got nervous, shaking uncontrollably. „You don’t have to do this.“ Tony said. 

„And I’m really sorry that I compared you with a golden retriever. I just think that loyalty is a great character trait.“

You smiled at him. „It’s alright. I’m sorry too. For being so angry and impulsive and arrogant.“

„Are you scared?“ Tony asks. „No, I’m not. I trust him. I trust the man I love. He isn’t the winter soldier anymore. And that he remembers me in this moment- that’s a good sign, isn’t it? So I had a little impact on him.“

Steve opened the door. You felt all the eyes of the agents on you. Thats really made you uncomfortable but you tried to ignore and only concentrate on James. You tried to relax. Your hands where cold as ice- something that always happens when you get nervous. You walked towards him. „You need to let go of this man, James.“, you pointed with your eyes at the man. „I’m alright. I’m safe.“ You approached him. „You really need to let go of him.“ Your voice was firmer. „The agents here are scared of you. They see you as a threat. So I’m begging you: let go of him.“ 

And Bucky let go of him. „They hurt you.“ He stated looking at your bruised lips. „No, they didn’t. I stumbled.“ You reassured him. „James, you need to put down the gun as well. The avengers aren’t the enemy. We can trust them. I do. I trust them and I think we might need their help.“ And you kissed him. Right in front of anyone. You heard the thump of the gun greeting the ground as James let go of it. 

You broke the kiss and caressed his cheek. But before Bucky could say anything you looked to your right and something you saw made you so scared. You pushed Bucky with all the strength you’ve got, making him stumble a few steps backwards. But that was enough to take his spot. 

Bucky saw the redness on your shirt before he heard the bang of the gun. Steve and Tony screamed „NO!“, but it was already too late. You looked at it and all the color of your face vanished. You started to fall but Bucky caught you, laying you softly on the ground. Soon you lost you consciousness.

Steve used the chaos to get Bucky out of there. „They will help her. But you need to come. It’s not safe for you here.“ 

During that time agent Sharon Carter kept Steve and Bucky informed but Bucky had a really hard time. „She’s still sleeping. You are not missing anything.“ She assured him. 

When you woke up you were greeted by non other than Tony Stark itself. He read a German magazine. „Do you understand what you’re reading or are you just looking at the pictures?“ 

He looked up and grinned. „Really nice pictures. But I also get help with the translating.“ He pointed to his high technology-glasses. 

„How do you feel?“

„Exhausted but okay.“ 

You looked around and you saw James standing in the door frame. „James“ you whispered, reaching out for him. „I’m so relieved that you’re fine.“ Bucky looked at Tony who faintly shook his head indicating that you were still oblivious about the fight in Leipzig and the separation of the avengers. 

„What happened after I passed out?“, you asked

„You mean after you got shot.“, Tony corrected you. 

„Why did you pack?“, you ask James, forgetting the last question you just asked. 

„I’m leaving for Wakanda. They offered me to free me from the mind control and I’m gonna take that chance.“

„Take me with you. I want to be with you. I can’t imagine a life without you. Please, James.“ 

He looked you deep in your eyes. You could see how he’s debating on the inside. „Okay.“ And he kissed you passionately. 

Tony didn’t like that idea at all. „Okay, lovebirds. We better should look for a doctor to sign the release papers and you can rest a bit more.“ He ushered Bucky out of your room and when the door closed he let go of his facade.

„You can’t take her with you. Thats really selfish of you. She’s kid. She can’t throw away her life for you. She is not your psychologist. You know exactly what you are. You’re a murderer. Nothing will ever change that. You’re destroying her life. And you don’t care because after all you will always be the winter soldier. Nothing will change that.“

Bucky looked at Tony like he just got slapped. „I know who and what I am. I will never be good enough for her. Yeah, maybe I’m selfish taking her with me but I can’t imagine a life without her. I love her and I will protect her. I promise.“

„But can you protect her from yourself?“ 

As you packed your belongings James waited outside your room. „You don’t have to go with him. You don’t need to throw your life away. You don’t owe him anything.“, Tony stated. 

„I’m not throwing anything away. He’s my future. He’s anything I’ve ever wanted. Wakanda will be an adventure and I’m ready to take it.“

Tony suppressed all the things he wanted to tell you. He hugs you and said instead. „If he hurts you in anyway, call me. I’ll come and get you.“ He caress your hair and without noticing he took a single hair of you. He needed to know who you were to him. He couldn’t ignore his curiosity anymore. 

Chapter 6

@inlovewith3 @jackiehollanderr @homesicam @dreamydreamerwriting @losers-club6 @gengen64 @agentsofsheilds @crimson-darling @akkinda10 @xemine @bubblegumholland @chipilerendi @iamasimpingh0e @bbmommy0902 @madddiiee26 @teenagedreams-bucky @aya-fay @idontknowwhatthisisfam @w-wolfhxrd @useless-creature-213  @angywritesstuff @supernaturalcat7 @harrys-stan @geek-and-proud

[alaura5675]

Welp just watched Hollow Mind and….

WHAT FREAKIN FLIPPITY FUCK

Philip Whittlebane is a fucked up person through and through

The way he thinks terrifies me honestly like this is a person i would honestly be terrified of

Someone who can only see his viewpoint as the right one and then inflict and punish others for not following or agreeing with his every word.

All his carnage and manipulation of people and the demon realm

Its…just plain scary. Beacause its so very real. It has happened and continues to happen

A couple months ago during the hiatus i wrote a post, writing about how I believed the Owl House was heading towards the subject of how the church was used to colonize and destroy the cultures of the indigenous people of the Americas.

And all i can say is that this show has hit the mark. In describing and accurately depicting the awful crimes that happen during colonialism. What happened to the Americas, South Asia, Eastern Asia, Aotearoa (New Zealand), the pacific islands. Today In Pakistan and In Ukraine, and many others…

The restricting of culture and language(magic), The killing of those who disagree, labeled as anarchists or sinners (wild witches). The outright imprisonment to starvation (V and the other basilisks).

These are signs of coloniasm and genocide. And the Fact that Dana Terrace is doing this is bringing me a weird sense of Happiness, but also grief and anger

Happiness that were at a point where we can actually air a show like this. And talk about serious issues.

But I’m also just overwhelmed by the fact that its not being treated seriously. And its getting canceled. Probably for the same reasons im so happy it exsists.Its a weird sense of knowing this show and those who see and understand. Know how important shows like these are to give meaningful connections, that history and the news don’t when ur in ur own bubble of the world.

But also the sad fact that this show like many others gets written off for its medium. Or for the fact its for “kids”. I think im going in circles at this point

But going back to Philip. I think Dana Terrace has created this character extremely well that i think other shows that have attempted to create a pure villain haven’t. I’m not sure I have the words to describe it but like i said earlier this is a man i would be truly terrified of and mostly i think its his way of easily manipulating any situation to make himself the victim. Or the martyr the hero. He flips the narrative for everyone else including himself. Because he truly believes he is the hero. And nothing will change that. (i could literally write a whole acdemic esaay with sources on how fd up he is, and how his mind literally alters his own perception of his actions)

Referencing other similar characters. I think of are Ozai, and Og Hordak in shera. They are colonizers and mass murders. Intent in genocide. But personally I was never afraid of these characters. Ozai was always off screen. We saw his abuse through his children. And the world. But we never saw his direct influence as a person if that makes sense.

And OG Hordak just kind of swept in and we saw him as a character. But never him directly influencing and actively harming others. If that makes sense???

So Philip has both enough character, action, and hearsay. As well as harming their own family multiple times. And traumatizing them indefinitely. Plus the imperialism and genocide to boot.

What im trying to say is. This show has raised the bar on villain writing. And I think has given a just outlook at describing the horrors of Imperialism, The awful parts of Christianity, and Shared Trauma. As well as just writing a good fuckin story making me cry every fin episode.

Thanks to all the people who work on this show and working with a studio that doesn’t want them to succeed. We the fans appreciate all your hard effort to write, animate, and in general produce this story. I love it and can’t wait to cry next saturday

disclaimer: by acurrate depiction i mean for a disney show meant for children between 7-12. Which I would normally expect nothing. Just to clarify…

[mental-health-advice]

sorry ive already sent this but i wanted to edit it so its gonna be a bit longer. i know that to have a friendship with someone, consistent contact isn't necessary, however with my friends its like we rarely talk. im sort of being dramatic but im left on delivered for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. i understand and respect that they need space and time but it gets exhausting. they are the only people in my life that we can talk about anything and it feels like they're shutting me out and it feels so isolating and lonely. its not just that they dont respond to me but that theyre active on social media and post pictures hanging out w other friends. I dont want to be a toxic friend and force them to respond to me and drain them and have them dread talking to me but i don't know what to do. ive resorted to just talking to myself but it makes me feel like im losing my mind. im not good at making friends so i have none at school and i just feel so alone i dont know what to do. i have so much i wanna tell them but i dont want to blow up their phones and stress them out more but it feels like we're drifting apart? ig? i know we probably arent based on what everyone says, that true friends can go days without talking, but it doesnt feel like that for me.

Hey there,

No worries, at all with resending your Ask – sometimes it’s only after we send/ submit something that we then think of something else we would like to add, so it’s completely OK!

It can be really hard and frustrating when we talk to someone via txting or on other platforms but do not get a reply in what we see as a reasonable time frame or see that they are online but do not see them see/ view our message at that time. Is this something that you have brought up with to your friends in the past? If not then I would encourage you to do so, as it’s possible that your friends, to a degree, don’t know what they are doing to you in regards to you feeling left out and lonely.

You are right in saying also that friends can go ‘x’ amount of time without talking but of course this is not and does not always fit for some friends/ friendship groups. Unfortunately, we do not know what is happening for your friends to not reply to your messages as they do with others but I definitely think it’s definitely worth a conversation to be had with them – it’s only through communication and being upfront that things can change to best suit everyone, including you!

It can be a bit of a balancing act in a way with how much we choose to tell our friends and especially if we don’t want to stress them out or put extra pressure on them, but with this being said it’s equally as important that we do have someone to talk to about what is happening for us and in our day to day life.

I know it can be scary to let another in, but perhaps speaking to a counsellor may be of some benefit for you? Counsellors aren’t just there for people who have mental health concerns but are also there for those who need to talk to someone/ confide in. Speaking to a counsellor or some other support worker can be great because you don’t have to worry about saying ‘too’ much as they are always happy to just sit back and listen or help you out in other ways if needed.

Another idea of something you could do may also be writing in a diary/ journal. This can help to get out what ever is on your mind and especially those things that keep circling in your head and just won’t go away! Writing can also be helpful to pin point what is going on for you and then think of ways to work through those things. Is this something you may feel able to give a go?

I’m really sorry that your friends aren’t there for you as much as you would like or are needing them to be but talk to them if you can and feel comfortable in doing so because at then at the very least you will all be on the same page!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

[aliwritesfic]

The Night Shift part 10 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)

Summary: back to work :( frankie and the boys are sweeties tho

W/C: 1.3k

Warnings: none I think but its late and i'm probably wrong so pls let me know if i need to add some

AN: this is just a quick lil filler chapter before a biiiiig one on either friday or monday, depending on when I finish it, but I wanted to get this one out because part 11 might be late because im very in my Feels about it (and i think you will be too)

Spotify

Part 1 Part 11

Frankie noticed every time your head snapped up, shadowy eyes darting towards the diner door. He noticed how your shoulders would lose some of their tension in relief whenever it was just a group of kids, or an elderly couple, or one of the people he’d come to realise were regulars to the diner.

You wore long sleeves tonight, telling him before leaving that it was to cover the ‘ugly ass’ bruise on your wrist. The less questions the better, you said with a smile that hadn’t reached your eyes.

Frankie carefully organised a stack of choc-chip pancakes on a gleaming white plate and set them on the window. You shot him a confused look – there weren’t any orders.

“You look hungry,” he told. Your face softened as you took the plate and grabbed a set of cutlery. It was nearing 1, and you were always hungry at 1.

“Do you know of any decent not-a-total-rip-off moving companies?” you asked after swallowing a mouthful. Frankie nodded.

“Yeah, me and the boys.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “No. You’ve already done so much I can’t ask you or any of your friends to give up one of their days just to get my shit back.”

“Well, yes you actually can,” Frankie countered, “and if the boys know something is important to me then they’ll help.”

“This is important to you?” Frankie fixed you with a stare and a raise of a brow. The look was one of pure are you serious right now? You threw up your hands and shrugged. “Okay, okay, I get your point. I’ll pay you guys, obviously.”

“Just a case of beer,” Frankie said. Tom might want money, but then against it was unlikely Tom would show up: he was leaving on Thursday. “Listen, just tell me the day you wanna do this and we will be there. I promise you that.”

You finished the pancakes and handed the plate back. “I was gonna let Lou know I wouldn’t be available on Friday night and get it done then.”

“Perfect, three-day weekend,” Frankie grinned. You smiled back, the first true smile he’d seen all night, and turned to greet a trucker who had just arrived.

Frankie grabbed his phone out of his pocket and opened the group text chat.

Catfish: Who’s free Friday for a favour?

Given the time, he wasn’t expecting an answer from any of them, so he was shocked when Benny texted back straight away.

Benny: Whatever it is, William and I are in. Even murder.

Catfish: It’s (probably) not going to come to murder. Just need help moving the girl I work with into her new place.

Pope: oh the 1 youre in love with? yeah ill help and ill bring that photo too

Frankie narrowed his eyes at the screen. He wouldn’t go so far as to say in love, so he decided to ignore that.

Catfish: It’s too expensive to hire moving ppl, so I said I’d help her, plus her ex is a cunt and I don’t know if he’ll try shit if it’s just her there

Pope: is she still there?

Catfish: No she’s staying at mine until she gets her stuff into her new place

Ironhead: Is this the guy you KO’d?

Catfish: Ok 1 why are you all awake? And 2 where did you hear that??? I didn’t KO him btw, but I could have if I felt like it.

Ironhead: I didn’t put my phone on silent

Ironhead: And I heard it from Benjamin. You know he loves gossip.

Benny: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Catfish: ????????? how did you do that?

Benny: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Frankie rolled his eyes and put his phone back in his pocket. They were impossible to talk to at this time of night, and he could already see that the conversation would just go in circles. He would find out how Benny made that weird little face though.

“Hey,” Frankie waved to get your attention, “the boys said they’d be happy to help, and they’ve all got pick-ups so no need to hire a moving truck.”

You looked confused, your eyes darting to the clock. “You spoke to them already?”

“Yeah, they’re light sleepers,” Frankie said. “Old army thing, I guess.”

You cleared your throat and blinked rapidly, “well, uh, let them know I’ll buy them all dinner as well as a case of beer each and money for gas. Whatever they need.” Frankie knew the boys wouldn’t accept your money, but he also knew you wouldn’t take no for an answer. This was something you could sort out Friday, he decided. If he was being honest, he was interested to see how would win that battle of wills. His money was on you. His money would always be on you.

~*~

“Can we go to the store quickly?” You asked, climbing into the truck next to Frankie once your shift was over. You were beginning to think of it as Your Spot now. Your spot, next to him, so close that if you wanted to you could reach out and hold his hand, lean over and kiss him.

“Yeah, what’d you need?” Frankie pulled out of the tiny diner parking lot and onto the road. Your cheeks heated slightly.

“A rotisserie chicken,” you mumbled, staring at one particular spot on the dash. “Sometimes when I’m . . . going through emotional turmoil I just need to eat. And I want a rotisserie chicken more than anything else right now.”

Frankie grinned his white toothed smile and you felt a little better about your habit. “That sounds like a fantastic idea, we should get two, one each.”

You smiled back, buoyed by the idea. The one and only time you had brought this up to Kurt, he had shot the idea down, grabbed your sides and commented on your weight. You knew there was nothing wrong with your weight, that there wasn’t no matter what size you were, but the comment hurt nonetheless.

But now you sat here in Frankie’s truck, and he seemed delighted with the idea of eating a whole rotisserie chicken in one sitting at 8AM. He drove to the grocery store, singing along to Stevie Nick’s Edge of Seventeen.

“I’ll go in, you wait here,” Frankie flashed you with a grin and raced into the store. You sat back, relaxed, and closed your eyes. You had been happier in the past twenty-four hours with Frankie than you had been almost the entirety of Kurt. You found yourself imagining a life with him; dinner at his cosy table, a new record playing every night, talking about your day at whatever jobs you had. Life with him would be comfort, it would be home. Your heart quickened at the thought of laying beside him each night in bed, bodies pressed against each other, skin against skin, delicious warmth -

His return snapped you out of your thoughts, the sight of him sent a rush of heat through you. He held a plastic bag in one hand, and keys in the other. “Should we eat these here or at home?”

Home.

The word sent a shiver of hope up your spine. Like he was saying it could be your home too. You moved an inch closer to him, so your thighs barely touched. It was electric though, the kind of touch that felt dangerous and familiar at the same time.

Your eyes met his and you wondered if he was feeling the same thing.

Taglist: @hnt-escape @sharkbait77 @1800-fight-me @annathewitch @darnitdraco @frankiecatfish @punkerthanpascal @nakhudanyx @gracie7209 @quica-quica-quica @pintsizemama @phoenix-of-loki

[sanzuslvt]

Her|| PT one

pairings: dom fem reader, fem sakura tags: lesbian sex, some degrading, cheating, mentions of mommy

a/n: I'm gonna make another part to this I don't know when but its gonnainclude a threesom so be prepared 

wordcount 1.6k

The sudden closeness between sakura and Y/N was weird, but no one really questioned it. Sakura had a boyfriend and everyone thought you were straight. So the friendship that arose suddenly was pretty normal between you two. You were Naruto and Sasuke's roommate after all. In reality sakura was your secret lover and you were hers secret affair she wasnt gay but when she met you all of her feeling towards women poured into the passion you two shared especially in bed.

When did this all start. It was on the day that naruto and sasuke went on a mission together sakura was incharge of the hospital so she couldn't join them but she had yet to meet. Y/N. Sakura planned to go to Naruto and Sasuke's apartment to surprise them when they get back especially since she started dating Sasuke but instead she was met with the sexiest surprise she could get. As she knocked on the door, Y/N opened the door. She wore a black sports bra with a fishnet shirt covering the abs so eagerly picked out the holes in the fishnets. The sweats that she wore shaped her muscular thighs and her prominent waist making her seem irresistible.

Even the scars on her lower abdomen made y/n even more sexy then she was. Sakura was eyeing y/n down like this was the last time that she saw her, and all that she knew was that she wanted her. When y/n noticed who was at the door she smirked in delight she looked down at the adorable, blushing, petite, and but muscular woman below her she saw the way that she eyed her figure. All she knew was that sasuke was one lucky mother fucker.

“If you're gonna stare at least come in '' y/n said bringing all of the attention from sakura's daydream to a rushing halt.

“I'm so sorry i didn't expect you to be here” sakura said quietly

In your mind you knew what was coming and you know it would be hot

“Sakura chan why don't you come in? You're here for sasuke but he will probably be in, in about 45 minutes. Why don't you wait for him with me inside?”

y/n opened the door allowing a space for sakura to walk through she knew that sakura felt the tension that she did and she knew that the 45 minutes they shared would be fun. Sakura walked into the small apartment with about 3 rooms and 2 restrooms. The kitchen was almost spotless and it was extremely clean. She knew naruto and sasuke could never keep the room this clean so it must have been y/n. The way that Sakura could feel the stare on her body from behind was both extremely attractive and extremely nerve wracking. The tension in the air brought arousal to her panties and made her feel like the most special girl out there.

Sasuke was a good lover but he want passionate when he had sex with her it felt like her body wasnt being satisfied. As a kid Sakura loved Sasuke and it isn't wrong that she still does but the thought of him being her lover doesn't make her as excited as it used to. She loves him but she can't find the passion she used to. When sakura sat on the couch with y/n and saw the way that y/n carried herself it brought a spark to her stomach and gave her butterflies. The way she sat and the way that she talked it all turned her on. 

“So sakura… how are things going with sasuke. I know he is such a dick but he never stops talking about you.”

 “Its alright i haven't seen him in awhile so i was waiting for him to come back from his mission” sakura said while frowning almost like it really did make her sad that he wasn't there This brought visual disappointment to y/n face. She knew he was neglectful but she never thought he was like this to her. Sakura was so sexy with her beautiful figure and toned body. Even her beautifully shaped ass. How could he not be so attached to her like a leech. At that moment the animalistic urge took over y/n and she scooted close to Sakura. She put her hand on her toned but thick thigh and squeezed. Then she took her other hand and grabbed her chin bringing her face closer. At the sudden touch sakura moaned small but recognizable and this small gesture of arousal brought the grin to Y/N’s face. “Sakura when was the last time sasuke pleased you mhm” 

“Umm I don't know, '' Sakura said, flushed but the sudden touch of this fine woman she just met.y/n leaned in slower and slower till her lips were barley grazing sakura and then she went past and whispered in her ears.

“Sakura I think you do know you are scared of what's going to happen if you tell me. Because if you do, I'm just going to want to please you even more… Now tell me when was the last time Sasuke really fucked you.”

The sentence that y/n spoke to sakura was the last breaking point, the amount of sexual frustration that she had built up all into this one moment and she sprung on top of y/n capturing her lips on hers. The swift movement of y/n’s hands on sakura's body felt like an electric shock. Sakura was on top of y/n making out with her straddling her hips looking for friction and their kissing slowed but the passion in their makeout was different from everything sasuke gave her Sakura she could feel y/n touching ever peice of her that she could offer and Sakura wanted to feel good better the. has ever felt. “y/n this is wrong what if sasuke walls in.”

 sakura said separating from y/n’s lips and breathing hard from the lack of air “I can sense his presence from a mile away. We have time to get ready, and I have the time to make you feel so much pleasure when you're screaming my name.” As soon as y/n said that she flipped sakura on her back and held her down by her hips grinding into her heat. “Im going to fuck you harder then sasuke has ever fucked you” y/n then pulled her shirt down to reveal sakuras beautiful collar bones and tits that. They weren’t big but they were perfect and sat perfectly “look at you sakura you are so beautiful if you were mine i would never stop touching you” y/n leaned down grabbing sakuras skin in her mouth sucking on it untill she was littered with purple marks on her chest and boobs sucking on her sensitive nipples of course they were in places where no one could see but slowly y/n made her way to sakuras pants. “y/n are you sure we can do this” “sakura we already are doing it” y/n then swiftly rubbed circles into sakura's clothed clit making sakura yelp

 “Sakura baby, you have to stay quiet for me. You don't want the neighbors hearing do you?” sakura slowly nodded no covering her mouth with her hand “good girl now help me take these pants off you love” y/n tears of sakura's pants are thrown to the side looking at the damp spot in sakura's panties. “Mhm you're really such a slut for me aren't you. Getting this over your boyfriend's roommate. You are such a bad girl for me aren't you” sakura covered her face in embarrassment by y/n’s words but another reason was to shield the fact that y/n’s degradation turned her on more than anything. 

y/n licked a smooth line up sakura's panties and made her way up to the hem of her undergarments pulling them down with her teeth she saw the mess that sakura was inside of her panties and this excited y/n more then anything. She grabbed sakura by her knees and pulled her legs apart staring at the beautiful heat oozing from her cunt. y/n then brought one finger to her cunt massaging her clit. Making sakura yelp is a pleasure. y/n then whispered in her ear. “do you want mommy to fuck you? You have to tell me or I wont know baby, I need you to tell mommy what you want.`` Sakura then said “please use your tongue. I want mommy to fuck me with her mouth.” y/n smirked from the sudden passiveness coming from sakura's mouth. 

She knew sakura was going to be a good fuck. And so she did what her baby asked for. Y/n brought herself lower on the couch to her crotch and grabbed Sakura's knees pulling them over her shoulders. She then placed her tongue flat on her slit and licked one strip up. Sakura tasted so good to y/n the sweetness from her cunt made her want to feast on her forever the way that sakuras moans filled the apartment and the way the sakura bucked her pussy on y/ns mouth almost fucking herself with y/n was so hot it made y/n moan on the spot.Sakura was so amazing that y/n nearly didn't notice the faint chakra of naruto and sasuke coming. 

she could tell that sakura was close and a few more minutes and sakura would be creaming in her mouth. But the boundary that sakura wanted was important so y/n pulled aways and told sakura ``looks like our time is up baby lets get dressed i'll take care of you when i have more time. Quickly Naruto and Sasuke came through the door. Sakura was dressed and tried to get up to hug sasuke. But when she got up she stubbled. y/n caught her in her arms making her secure “that was a close one baby try to walk for me… you dont want your boyfriend finding out whos really fucking you”.