#im posting the most based shit today right

[alanisstonedd]

shooters shoot

marine!rafe x black!reader → a date at the range has his 5% tint fogged up...

cw: nsfw 16+, established relationship, operation of a firearm, semi public sexual activities, consensual groping, p in v, ass play, cum play, cussing, car sexxxx

wc: 4,700 + proofread!! (yall this actually the longest shit i've ever written omg)

an: been marinating in this idea for whileee, here it is baddies!! yall can find an intro post to marine!rafe through my masterlist!! & plz all yall send me ur dirty thoughts about him asap. kisses!! xoxo

The brush of featherlight kisses on your shoulder wakes you up most mornings - this sunny wednesday morning no different. your boyfriend's arm, littered with intricate tattoos, peeking out from under the covers. his appearance, a stark contrast to the sweetness he showers you in. but nonetheless, having him snuggled up behind you every morning felt like having a personal safety blanket (weighted ofc) there to protect your beauty sleep.

"mornin bae.." he mumbled sleepily from the curve of your neck.

"goodmorning baby... are you thinking about breakfast yet?" you quip, eyes still closed, the morning sun melting you into drowsy bliss.

his tatted hand found your hip, caressing and gripping the plush skin there. "my breakfast is right here.." he whispers, smirk practically bursting out "hot and ready." the light nips of his teeth on your neck, while convincing, couldn't distract you from the nagging thought that one of you had somewhere to be this morning.

"boy, quit playinn" you giggle as his kisses become wet and hot, his ever wandering hand caressing your stomach. "don't you have somewhere to be rafe? i'm so serious" you smirk, turning around to face him, his morning fun making it increasingly harder for you to be the rational one here.

"when has that ever stopped me?" punctuated with a light kiss, right as your world turns with unnerving speed. you find yourself posted atop his tank of a body, both tatted hands now snaking their way under your tee. chilled fingertips brush your soft breasts as your head lulls back, your own fingertips resting on his warm chest.

"just a taste bae?" he pleads, with the most devilish grin you've seen from him since yesterday, large hands now urging you down toward his chest. "absolutely not." you chuckle against his peck with warm cheeks, knowing he's kinda fronting. he's never been a late man at all, always precisely on time or early. you knew he wouldn't jeopardize a obligation, even with his truly efficient abilities.

"fine, you're not off the hook though lil girl." one hand caressing the expanse of your back, the other taking gentle fistfuls of your ass. "that's fine, hold me to it - you still have to go though big daddy." you emphasize the nickname, his rumbling laughter shaking the both of you.

you lift your head up to him, his baby blues shining in the morning rays. he gazes at you with a boyish smile, his love shining through every part of his body. never afraid to revel in his true feelings for you. he actually prefers to openly adore you - it gives him this warm feeling in his body, almost like seeing you love him is lighting him on fire or something.

"im surprising you today, okay?" he blurts out, tracing your facial features like the work of art you are. "oh?" puzzled look on your face as you kiss whatever you can catch of his hand. "yup" he quips, popping the p. your world flipped once again as he plops you next to him, unfortunately leaving you lonely to shower.

"when thoughhhhh?" you whine from the bed, not ready to leave the only warm embrace you have left at the moment. "when i come back from base. and be ready for real, because i'm taking you straight there." he yells back, stripping and starting the water.

"tch," you suck your teeth, rolling your eyes "i can be on time too, sexy muh-fucker." turning your head towards the large windows of your condo, your eyes threatening to close again.

you peek one eye open before falling fully asleep, and snatch your phone off the nightstand. setting an alarm for an hour and a half from now, knowing he'll be done in about two-ish hours, you toss it somewhere into the sea of the california king and knock out.

you jolt directly up from the bed, as your alarm blares throughout the room, startling you awake. rubbing your eyes while fishing for your phone somewhere in the sheets, but somehow feeling 10x more rested than your first wake up - which truly felt like forever ago.

one glance at your phone, kicks you into lock-in mode. "FUCK", your alarm seems to have been going off for a good twenty minutes, and you have the lesser part of 15 to be "ready for real" before rafe gets back. you cannot - under any circumstance - let him catch you lacking because he'll never let that shit go.

you skip out of bed and directly into the shower, planning a casual but cute outfit as you wash and freshen up. you go minimal with hair and makeup, feeling a little scared because you honestly think the clock is speeding up just to spite you.

in his beautifully on-time fashion, you hear rafe busting through the front door as soon as your pants are up over your butt. "bae?" his strong voice cutting through the get-ready playlist you selfishly took two full minutes to put on. "hey boo, i'm ready" you breathe, rounding the corner to meet him. his smile when he sees you never disappoints, flashing all 32, subtle dimples popping just the way you love, immediately heating you up. you go in for a hug, breathing him in through his slightly damp shirt (even better), he's a sweat-er so you know its warm out.

"you ready pretty?" he kisses your head, grin still plastered on his gorgeous face, hands planted firmly on your booty. a light squeeze to your lower cheeks earns him your "sexy grin", a dramatic eye roll, and a love slap to the chest. you lead him out the front door and to the passenger side of his big ol truck, which he opens for you and lifts you into by the waist.

the car ride to his "surprise" is filled with mindless chatter, spotify, and planning your next meal which is always a serious topic of conversation for you two. but you quickly notice he's not taking a route you recognize, "okay... do i already know what this is or is it a real surprise?" you ask, eyebrow cocked. he lets a loud chuckle escape, hand gripping your thigh across the console, thumb rubbing ever so slightly.

"yes, its a real surprise bae. you've never been here before" your uncocked eyebrow raises to meet the other, "shiiiiittt," you think for a second, then quietly question "am i gonna have to think, learn or sweat for this? or all of the above??" you sigh, realizing he might have you're ass doing some outdoor shit, which would probably present some complications with the outfit.

he laughs so hard he has to grip your thigh for purchase, "bae. what if i told you yes?" he snickers some more. "id tell you to turn this muh-fuckin car around. TUH" you fold your arms pointedly, just to show him you're deadass. at this point rafe's face is flushed from how much hes laughing, "nah bae, you just get to be your crash-out self. and be all up on me..." he manages to squeeze out in between laughs. and now you're confused, because, although you love those two things individually, you have no idea how they could possibly be combined. "now how the hell you finna combine those..." you mutter, sparing him a glance. "you gotta wait and see bae." with a full belly chuckle once again, his paw of a hand moves to cup your pussy through your pants and rub lightly like its affectionate or something. you look at him, unamused, but he simply flashes you a killer smirk with a squeeze to the coochie.

so you wait patiently, intrigued and a little nervous at what he has planned. when you arrive at what seems to be some sort of warehouse, he finally removes his hand from your pussy with a mean smack, "aye boy!" you whip your head over to him with a sharp look, now on edge from all the groping he's been doing for the remainder of the ride. but he's already out the damn truck, stalking around the front to open your door and help you out, by the waist, straight to the ground. you wouldn't sweat one droplet if it was up to him - except when y'all fuckin of course.

upon entering the mysterious warehouse, you immediately clock this is a gun range date. considering rafe has been yapping nonstop about teaching you how to protect yourself, how to use a gun just in case, and his plans to take you to the range routinely, you're actually not surprised at all.

hes grinning at you as you wait in the front desk line, his arm around your waist, rubbing absentmindedly. "so?? how surprised are you bae?" earning him yet another suck of the teeth, "how surprised you think i am? this is all you talk about rafe" you play with his fingers on your hip, as you both move up in line. "i knowwww bae, are you excited tho?", he grins more, gently pulling your head back and kissing your lips, "actually? i think i am a little excited lowkey... i don't really know what to expect, but... you got me right?". you breathe out, moving up to the desk, and you swear you can see him vibrating with happiness in your peripheral. "duh, of course i got you bae" he says from behind you, landing a fervent smack to your booty as he moves up after you.

the man at the desk literally daps up rafe and they starting chatting, his arm anchored to your waist without so much as a flinch. the man immediately starts grabbing various items, seemingly without a thought, and you start to realize... you're kinda like a celebrity by association in the military world? you chuckle at the fact that hundreds of thousands of men and boys around the world literally admire, look up to, and actually talk about your boyfriend - like out loud and in the media too. not that you don't do all of those things practically everyday - but to you, he's really just... your baby, rafe.

"listen son, they not payin' yo ass enough out there. you doin' big things, and not just what you doin' for this country. I mean, you really a weapon, boy." rafe quirks half his smile up, giving the man a nod.

"thank you sir, i just do my best. but i appreciate that, i really do. its my honor." rafe picks up the basket of goods, with another nod to the man. "anytime son. you a hero, nothin' less. and this must be the missus - what she doin' with no ring son?? aye you better act right, you a lucky man." the man chuckles, clasping both hands over your one hand and gently shaking. "its a pleasure ma'am." you laugh politely at his jokes, leaning into rafe on instinct, "its very nice to meet you sir". he pushes himself away from the counter with a nod and a wave, shouting "y'all be safe in there." you and rafe wave back awkwardly, him pulling you along by the waist.

"alright, am i trippin', or was he too fuckin' chatty" rafe laughs, once yall are through the door to the shooting lanes. "yeah, that was a lot..." you giggle, following rafe to what you assume is yall's lane, hands interlocked. you're hit with pungent smell of hot rubber, metal, and smoke but you kinda get used to it by the time y'all settle in.

rafe is professionally trained in this stuff, so you just listen extra careful - proving harder than you thought with the thundering pop of gunshots going off every so often. yall make silly small talk while he sets you both up with protective glasses and ear protection, complete with a built in mic for conversation. attaching the target to the rail and sending it out, he moves you into the lane with his body directly behind you. you can already feel the heat from his furnace of a body and you can tell this is gonna be a problem.

"okay," he says, leaning into your ear, hands on the front of your hips, pressing you back even further into his front. "whats the first thing you do?" your head is juuuuuuuuust clear enough to be reminded every so often that you're handling a dangerous weapon, but hes towing the damn line. "rafe, if you gon' be pressure the whole time just tell me what to do. i know you know i can't think right now..." you sigh, hearing him snicker through the headset, "okayyy, damn."

he picks up the gun and places all of your fingers precisely where they need to be, slowly explaining why they're placed there and the use of every part. but your ass is not really listening at all, because his cologne literally has you in a fucking fog. that or the way he readjusts every so often and presses his hips flush up against yours whenever he changes topics. or the way his large, thick, art covered hands caress your fingers and guide guide them where he wants them, exactly when he wants. or the way you can feel his hot breath fanning over your neck and sometimes even a brush of his soft, full lips when he leans in to show you something specific.

by the time he raises your hands up to point at the target, you bout ready to leave. his deep voice is saying something about "easing on the trigger" so you very slowly start pulling, and before you know it, a loud bang sounds out, and theres a hole a few inches below the center of the target. that startles you from your fog a little bit, because you're still gagged that you just shot a gun, and hit the target at all. but he moved the gun to the table again, so hes back to feeling on your hips, one hand traveling down to cup you and the other snaking up to your nipple poking through your shirt. "im so proud of you bae." he breathes, smirk deeeeep in his voice, with a kiss to the back of your neck.

you can very clearly feel how rock-fucking-hard he is and you think... its a little insane that he's so turned on by this. you realize the wetness in your panties is starting becoming an issue so you slap his hands away before he can make his way underneath any clothes, "rafe," you grit through your teeth, "quit. right now. we are soo close to other people. i'm taking two more shots and then we're out, okay". his hands have stopped wandering, his arms now wrapped around your waist. you can feel his smirk against the back of your neck, and he kisses there lightly, picking up the gun, "yes ma'am".

you bit your tongue through those last couple shots, thighs rubbing together, eventually becoming a little restless in the absence of his groping.

you literally wanted to pull his dick out - you couldn't take it. immediately after your last shot, you snatched his keys and ran out of the place, head down, too ashamed too ashamed to look anyone in the face let alone the chatty man.

you could finally breathe in the quiet safety of his truck, the 5% tint on all windows giving you the privacy you needed. you're still hot as fuck though. the thought of shedding some layers crosses your mind, but you brush it off, thinking rafe would probably open the door any second. but as more and more time passes, baking in the heat combined with flashbacks from the range, you start to get uncomfortably hot. you could rip his clothes off in this state, and a part of you wishes you could get back at him somehow.... but before you can make up your mind the sound of the drivers side door opening startles you, your head whipping towards him.

he looks like a fucking wet dream, sweating from the heat, blue eyes sparkling, sun shining down on him making his tan, tatted skin glisten... muscles bulging, and bulge straining... just how you like it. his shirt hiked up revealing a happy trail peekaboo is just the cherry on top. you can't stand it. "rafe. did they hold you hostage? the fuck took you so long?" you blurt, sounding a little frazzled. he climbs into the truck, starting it "yes, actually. chatty unc did hold me hostage. chill bae, the fuck happened in here..." he chuckles, side eying you and wrapping his whole hand around your thigh.

you freeze - his hand on your leg feels like a hot iron, even though the air conditioning has been blasting for at least a two minutes. you're jolted back to his antics in there, feeling the imprint of his throbbing dick against your ass, his hands everywhere you needed them all at once, his lips on your neck leaving a sickly trail of heat in their wake.

"oh HELL nah-" your hands fly to your shirt, as you struggle to strip your clothes against the wet friction of your skin, "its too fuckin hot bruh- i don't know what the fuck-" you almost rip your pants in two trying to get them down your legs "yo ass think-" more struggling, you're audibly out of breath at this point "this. shit. is." you lull your head back against the seat once you're only clad in your skims lace bralette and panty.

"you okay baby?" you catch his eyes locked on you, signature smirk struggling to be hidden. "what you think rafe?" you say, slowly turning to him. now that you're comfortable, your head seems perfectly cleared... of everything but fucking him stupid.

"i think.. we need to get you home crazy" he lets out a cackle, gripping the gearshift, ready to get on the road. "oh! you thought that was cute or something?" you laugh, hand gripped around his, stopping his movement. "that little stunt you pulled back there?" he's unusually quiet, but still smirking, so you can tell he knows what you want - in all honesty he can smell it. you just fell right into his trap. all day, he's been replaying the promise you made him this morning before he left.

"fine, you're not off the hook tho lil girl." one hand caressing the expanse of your back, the other taking gentle fistfuls of your ass. "thats fine, hold me to it - you still need to go tho big daddy."

he was going to make sure you kept that promise whether you knew it or not. he definitely enjoyed watching you squirm in front of him the whole time, his dick certainly leaking all over his boxers by now. he would've pulled his dick out right there in the lane if you'd wanted him to, but it looks like you enjoy him teasing you to the point of no return.

"you gon give me sum' for all that torture rafe." you whisper, eyes locked on his lips, hand on his moving to his straining cock. you grip it, eyes flashing up to his, which are already locked on yours. he slowly puts the truck back in park, "get in the back." its quick but you can hear the same strain in his voice.

"no. you-"

"get. in the back." his eyes close, hand still locked on the gearshift, so you decide you should get to climbing. by the time you're settled in the seat behind yours he's opening the backseat door and dragging you by your ankles to lay flat. he climbs in over you, slamming the door behind him. immediately he's on you, your lips dancing together, the fervency bringing back that excruciating heat you felt earlier. the backseat of his truck is actually pretty big, but due to his large stature, its tight quarters right now. you can feel every hard ridge of him pressed against you, his lips searing a wet trail right up your neck to the underside of your jaw. and the smell of his truck's leather mixed with his cologne drags you into the fog all over again.

the contrast of you being basically naked and him being completely clothed doesn't feel right at all. so as he pulls his shirt off, your hands find the corded muscles of his back, traveling down to slip under the lip of his pants. "ohh-, you- got some fuckin nerve rafe- " you manage breathlessly between kisses, as he rubs on your pussy through the thin material. he moves swiftly towards your tits sitting plump and pretty in the equally thin material. his eyes are locked on yours as he sucks on a nipple through the bralette, "nah" he moves to the other nipple, sucking harder, his lashes falling against his face blissfully. "i just know you bae" he punctuates with a firm nip on your bud and you feel a gush of slick wet your panties.

with locked eyes, he smirks, moving your panties to the side and slipping a finger in, thumbing your clit with a skillfull touch. your lips mingle with each others, rafe's groans echoing throughout the tight space as you work his zipper down and pull him out. slow strokes have his eyes closed and his teeth pulling down your bra for a better taste of your breasts.

he glances down to see your cunt creaming on his fingers, the soft moans spilling from your lips sound like he's being ushered into heaven, "shit... she been calling to me alllll," with a few flicks of his thumb against your clit, you're shouting, "fuckin' day". smiling like he's never been happier, he floats back to your mouth, tongue snaking in with yours, teeth nipping your lips. "fuck me rafe" you breathe, still stroking him, his dick now lathered in his own precum, tip gliding slowly against your slit. he pushes the tip in carefully, and you can't help but throw your head back, finally feeling the slightest bit of relief. "say please, baby.", he snickers, laving a scorching stripe up your neck, practically making out with it. "RAFE SHUT YO A-" before you can pop him for playing with you he pushes in to the hilt, "ohhh shh- it" you grit out, your body seizing for a second.

he starts with short, strong, pumps. grinding against you with the full strength of his hips. you can see the reflection of his back muscles rippling and his juicy butt clenching in the window. you pull him into you to lick the sweat off his neck, triggering a deep groan you feel on your tongue, "fuuuck, i love you baby." he's pulling back more to push into you a little rougher, the force of his thrust creating an uncomfortable friction between the seat and your skin. but his soft lips suckling your breast and his thumb now glued to your clit, erase any and all uncomfort whatsoever. you moan out, like sex in his ears "UUHH- ohhhhh, i love you bae- uhhh right thereee-" thats all you can manage, with your hand on his head, keeping his mouth pressed to your tits.

he glances up at you... a lush vision, like something out of his very own dreams - literally. he sits up, ready to give you everything you didn't even know you needed. he has one hand caging your waist in, and another on your hip as he lets out a breathy groan, watching with intent as your pretty pussy creams a pearlescent ring around the base of him, mixing with his pubes. he can feel your juices dripping down his balls as he moves the hand by your waist, up to the door behind you head.

the truck has to be rocking, with how serious rafe is at the moment. your eyes just about roll back as he starts jackhammering into you, his thick mushroom tip hitting your spot perfectly. his hips working, thrusting forcefully and grinding against you, all in one fluid movement. the feel of his coarse pubes on your clit, his chain swinging to and fro over your face, his deep grunts ringing in your ears - just when you though that was to much, his thrusts get even rougher, plunging into you so harsh, the with of him stretching you so dreamily. "oh shit- yeahh.." he breathes out, leaning down to lick the sparkling perspiration off your skin, his tongue traveling from sucking hickeys on your neck down to your breast yet again, blue eyes fluttering shut.

"rafe- fuuuckkk- im gonna-" he snaps up, immediately getting a second wind hearing your exclamation, thumb working quick circles on your clit. "yeah?" he exhales, "thats fuck?" he says taunting you while angling his hips to hit it right where you need it. he stuffs his hoodie under your butt to get a better position, and the pressure from this angle takes over your body, his hands caressing you, working your clit, it all sends you over the edge. through the buzzing of your senses you hear the splat splat of your pussy - "FUCK- bae i'm cuming-" and his warm seed flooding you. he slows but doesn't falter, his hips still hitting you like a tank. the only sounds in the truck being the squelch of your combined cum and the sultry flow of your combined moans.

"rafe-" he sits down on the seat and swoops you up off of it, moving you to rest your back against the center console in front of him, your dripping cunt resting in his lap. he lightly kisses your inner thigh, sending you a sexy wink, that forces a light chuckle out of you, and he dives in without another word. his tongue slurping you up like the best treat he's ever had, calculated circles going on your now overstimulated clit. your hand travels to his buzzed head as he sucks each lip into his mouth, slowly moving to suckle around you're clit. his face is shining with the both of your cum smeared all over it, and you don't think he ever get finer.

you can't hold your tongue any longer when his own travels down to your hole, licking you inside and out. fucking you with the scorching muscle, slurping up the mix of you both thats dripping out of you like honey. "mmmmm- shi-" he groans, the taste of his cum mixing with yours makes him lightheaded. you feel him start to suck on your throbbing clit once again, showering her in passionate kisses and the most earth-shattering ministrations, fingers still pumping in and out of you below. you stretch your arms back over your head, as he somehow sticks another finger in your ass. you start to ride his face, your hips fully in his hands, as he manages to pump that finger - you're so close you can taste it.

your vision spots as he suckles extra hard on your aching bud, his wanton groaning vibrating through your pussy. your body locks up and rafe's mouth stays glued to your pussy, releasing it with a pop!, then going back in and making sure he doesn't miss a drop of your sweet juice. the whole truck smells like sex and sweat as you catch your breath, reveling in the tenderness of his touch, him lips peppering sweet kisses over your thighs and stomach, while cleaning you both up with a towel he keeps in the back.

he dresses you, then dresses himself, while you both share sweet pecks every now and again, basking in the after glow. "i guess you were gonna have to sweat no matter where i took you, huh." he smirks, letting his hands wander over your hips and ass, as you chill in his lap.

"boy shut up, this was your little plan all along, i know you too...." you laugh, eyes rolling sassily. "damn right it was" he shoots you a devilish look before locking your lips, tongues entangled so deeply you almost take each others clothes off again. he hops out the truck with a pop to your booty, as you climb back up to the passenger seat feeling delightfully sated.

"bae, can we get chipotle before we go home?" he calls from outside the truck before climbing in, your stomach rumbling before he even said it. you turn to him with a blissful look, placing your hand on his cheek, "damn, you know my heart... drive". he kisses your hand as he pulls out of the parking lot. "i wonder if that chatty guy saw me run out the door like a lunatic..." you think out loud, car playlist bumping in the background. you play with his fingers that were just inside you churning up your cum and his, and smile deviously. rafe chuckles "HA! i wonder if he knew what we were doin' parked outside for so long..."

"grandbabies fa' sho' on the way..." the chatty man says, watching rafe's black truck finally drive away.

©  alanisstonedd 2025 — do not steal, plagiarise, or modify my content.

hope y'all liked this! likes and reblogs and all the rest much appreciated!!!

xoxo, lana 💋💋💋

[asphodeldreams]

made a discovery today

this is a star trek post for the two people who follow me that care about star trek. specifically odo from DS9.

if you haven't looked up the actor before, his wikipedia is some crazy shit. looked at today literally just because i needed a clear photo of him for the sake of making a joke.

this is

René Auberjonois.

wikipedia spiraling to be found under the cut

when i scrolled down on his wiki page to find out god knows what i was even curious about, i noticed that some of his family members have wikipedia pages. like "oh cool was his dad like an actor or something?'

no.

that's not what this was.

let's start with his father:

his father was a swiss-american journalist who worked as the foreign correspondent of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and the Toledo Blade. Throughout most of the Cold War, Auberjonois was one of the most admired American reporters based in London.

During World War II, he enlisted in the U.S. and served on secret assignments, including setting up radio transmissions for the Allies to divert the German's attention from the real invasion site on D-Day. From World War II through the Cold War, he worked for many print organizations, and also for NBC and Voice of America. (source)

pretty cool, pretty cool. it gets wilder.

his grandfather:

His grandfather René, who he was presumably named after, was a prominent swiss post-impressionist painter. No clue how well known he is outside of my very specific art-history freak circles, but i can tell you that i was absolutely familiar with his work before this research spiral. Here are some examples of his work:

Nature morte en bleu et rouge (left) and Prière devant la croix (right)

this is an artist whose work i actively studied in class so im aware this won't be as surprising to anyone else but. man. WILD that i never noticed the two people had the same damn name.

ANYWAYS onto the main event:

his great-great-great grandparents.

it's so rare that i look at an actor's wiki page and see someone so distantly related who has a wiki page. i clicked on his great-great-great grandmother's page and was absolutely in no way prepared for what i found.

she was royalty.

not only that, but she's

NAPOLEON'S FUCKING SISTER.

caroline. bonaparte.

younger sister to napoleon, who upon becoming emperor gave her the title of imperial princess. she also was married to Joachim Murat. who was the literal king of Naples from 1 August 1808 – 20 May 1815. (pictured below)

also this other painting of him that is genuinely one of my favorite paintings from the era.

caroline bonaparte and joachim murat's direct descendant is the man perpetually referred to by me as "that goo guy from star trek"

what the hell

[lynnie-s3all]

hi hello could you make headcanons for john doe x survivor reader please i'm starving why there's so little content about him....

late post, yea sure.

(no thumbnail im lazy today)

John Doe x survivor reader headcanons

Very short, I'm super lazy to think today

He is a raging beast, from my own eyes. So he'll likely be not targetint you first hand, unless you dress yourself as like Jane Doe would be then of course he'll not be sparing you firsthand.

I wonder how much rage and hatred does he like just to murder a bunch of survivors... Its pretty scary to think about if you hear it from the distance.

Well all about that part, even if you did try to help the others, I don't think you would (Even Elliot was like: shit why is everyone dying) But at some point you would accidentally give your support to John (and i mean special passive potions, idk)

He'll be confused as to why you were doing it and until now, he felt like he was getting stronger as you keep doing that to him, which made him kill most of the survivors.

Anyway, Everyone is dead, you have like 1 minute left with him, you would go and look around to find him but it only takes a few seconds for him to be appearing right behind you.

And eventually, you can feel that his corrupted aura didn't hurt you at all, probably because he feels a bit familiarity on how you look, based off his wife of course.

Timer ended, y'all went back into the cabin and act like nothing has happened between the two of you. Not everyone knows that you are in a relationship WITH A KILLER.

[marrycv]

Pick up your phone!

paring : toxic!ellie x toxic!reader

warnings : Mention of weed, alcohol. Ellie’s punishment with sex. Mention of nudes. Oral (e!receiving), fingering (r!reveiving). Language, nicknames such as : slut, doll, angel, baby, bitch, motherfocker (and others). mention of yn like twice. Mention of cheating and lying and many other bad things 😅. Ellie and reader are NOT healthy, do not romanticize their relationship, its fucked up. Porn w out plot? (kinda). Both reader and ellie are mean and does fucked up shit. 18+

summary : You wait Ellie again. she’s late for 4 hours and she wants to make it up to you. But you didn’t want to fall in her arms this time- which you obviously lost at trying to do. Ellie’s mad and has a punishment for you when she was in the wrong, and you had every right to be mad at her.

kinda a scrap this is bad 🙏

short asf

you :

00:12 - Ellie, where are you?

00:34 - Ellie istg answer me!!

1:02 - c’mon you said you’d come over today

Els 🖕🏻:

1:55 - im omw

1:57 - dont bother.

2:01 - im sorry im late

2:01 - you’re always sorry, dont come home and go fuck one of your stupid fangirls

2:02 - im coming over

2:02 - i said no

2:03 - c’mon lemme make it up to you 💋

2:05 - im gonna block you

2:32 - yn? !message not delivered!

“fuck” Ellie mumbled under her breath, going out of the studio and jumps in her Truck. going over speed’s limit and then knocking hard enough on your apartment to wake up everyone else in the combo.

you get up from your bed, unable to sleep due to waiting for her all night.

you open your door and when you see Ellie standing in front of it, smelling weed and alcohol, you know she wasn’t gonna be easy to deal with tonight.

“Ellie go home, its 3 in the morning…”

“cmon let me in baby” she said in a whisper, almost sounding like a whine.

You and Ellie’s relationship was complicated- that was what you were saying to your friends, because the amount of time you two broke up, that she cheated on you, that you would expose her nudes on internet, that she would sleep with a stranger just to piss you off and somehow you’d still let her come back in your arms- as she did the same with you. you would do shitty things as well, like saying to all of her fans that the concert was cancelled or that it changed location. you could also post on twitter her worse secrets when you learned that she cheated on you. you’d also make up lies about some random stuff just to get a revenge out of her.

but mostly she would just fuck up your trust for her like coming home 4 hours later or cheating on the infinite amount of girls. she’d also love bomb you to get you back and then would disappear for weeks. she also showed all of her band’s member the sextape she got of you- and you knew after Dina, the base player told it to you. You and ellie would randomly call eachothers- especially when she or you were under something, most likely weed or alcohol but sometimes something else. It wasnt rare that you would make her jealous and posting a story of you and a girl on instagram and she’d come over to fuck you dumb. only to wake up alone in the bed.

“ellie please i just wanna sleep tonight, no fight.”

“and please i just wanna say sorry, no fight.” Ellie answered, thinking she was a smart girl for this one

you rolled your eyes.

“are you even able to walk?” you asked her, seeing her flushed cheeks and her eyes red like hell

“of course i am baby, im okay.. please let me just make it up to you im so sorry im late”

“no youre not! because you wouldve told me you’d come home late or you wouldve just told me that you were busy!!!”

“im so sorry..” she says in a childish tone, just as if she was mocking you for being so mad.

“fuck off els”

Ellie rolled her eyes and made her way inside, taking steps closer to you.

“dont talk to me like that.” Ellie says, looking right into your eyes- mood changing suddenly, she didnt get the answer she wanted.

“you dont show up 4 hours late, bitch”

Ellie’s jaw tightened and she looked at you furiously

“tell me you just wanted to fuck me Ellie.”

“dont you ever call me ‘bitch’ again.”

“or what? you’re gonna leave? that already happened, i can survive it.”

“nah.. im gonna give you a lesson.”

“the fuck you mean?”

“get on your knees” Ellie said, tone demanding.

“i wont do shit you ask me to do Ellie.” you say scared of what she’s gonna ask you to do. you have some suspicions, but your mind is overthinking about so many possibilities.

Ellie puts her hands on your shoulders and force you to get you on your knees. She looks at you from down and she takes off her pants along with her boxers.

“you know what to do now.” Ellie tells you, intertwining her fingers with your hair, pulling you closer to her pussy. You start to give her short licks, obviously nothing enough for her.

“I swear to god you motherfucker if you dont do what-“

Ellie started but got cut off with one of her whines by you sucking her clit like your life depended on it. Your knees hurts, but her grip in your hair is too strong for you to move. your holding her by the thighs, moaning against her cunt by how good she tastes. obviously pussydrunk by her. and the perfect little grunts she would make made you so fucking wet. her hips would be jerking against your face, riding your tongue the best she could to chase your high. Ellie would never tell you, but you ever were the only one to make her cum. she knew that it would make your ego so much too high if she told you that on countless girls you were the only one able to please her. you know her sweet spots and she wasnt scared to be vulnerable with you. she always was. and you always were too.

“Fuck- fuck.. just like that, yeah”

her grunts would turn into whines and her whines into small moans. Ellie wasnt that much of a loud girl, but you knew if she was vocal- it was good. it made you laugh, sending vibrations through her clit.

“Im gonna- fuckkk!!” she moans out as she cums in your mouth. you still suck her clit as she rides your tongue for her high to be longer.

you get up from your knees and ellie kisses you, tasting herself on your tongue. the kiss turns rapidly messy and rough. Ellie would hold you by the hips, directing you by the bed. as soon as you touched the bed, she made you lay down on it and she got on top of you, still making out with you. her kisses got on your jaw until your neck. she then took a pause to look at you. you were eye doying her- she would always win. you were her little slut.

“only needed my” puts a finger into your core “fingers to shut that attitude huh?”

she takes off your shirt- which you were braless under it. peaking already your tits, ellie titled her head, smirking

“you got ready for me, doll?”

you nodded, wanting more of her.

“nuh huh, words baby, i want words.” she told you as the sucked one of your nipples as one of her hand was massaging the other breast. as her other hand was working on your clit to make you feel sooo good.

“j-just for you els!” you obey to her request, only wanting her to go faster.

“faster el- faster!!” you try to manage to tell her.

“faster huh?” Ellie says as she just slows her pace of her fingers brushing against that sweet spot of yours.

“please ellie!!” you beg for her to go faster as she just slows down again and again.

“i didnt say you’d get a good time Baby, this is your punishment, as deserved.”

“please.. ill be good Ellie- never gonna be m-mean with you ever” you faked promised her, just needed to tell her whatever she wanted to hear.

“yeah? you’d do this for me, angel?” Ellie asks as shes at only one finger, completely ruining you. completely making you cry for more- needing more.

“id do anything- just please fuck me ellie, fuck me.”

-

2 days after this huge mistake. You and Ellie started to do this kind of thing all the time. She’d piss you off, you’d be mad, she’d become madder for something she made you mad at- and would finish as sex. the only way you two did work out with.

she made you feel so good and you made her feel better.

This was unhealthy, but she was so addictive.

she’d come home in the middle of the night- wouldnt care if you were deep asleep or had a party- she’d take care of that pussy no matter what. Her songs would be about you two relationships.

Everyone liked it.

and you were happy you had such a big impact that she wrote- and sang about you.

But she didnt see you that pretty- you were her fucking toy.

14:01 : why the fuck did you say that i was toxic in your song?

15:56 : because you are.

15:59 : fuck you els

16:01 : you wish <3

16:01 : you’re the toxic one in our relationship

16:30 : 💀💀 hell nah

16:31 : Ellie how many times did you cheat on me?

17:23 : babe, we were on break how many times do i get to tell you that?

17:23 : anyways i gtg ill see you tonight ;)

She wasnt easy and you werent either.

but whatever, she has become way more famous than ever.

she’d send you those pictures before a show, trying to make you come to one (which you did but didnt tell her).

“does that feel good els?” you say as your face was in between her thighs, on your knees just like how she loved you like that.

“fuck babe dont stop!!” Ellie would tell you into a soft tone, not so much like that little ‘dominant’ cover she’s making everyone believe she was. she was always the one screaming your name over and over.

she then would make you see heaven with her cock filling you up, camera in one hand and the other one on your breast. She’d look at it all the time, rolling circles on her clit whenever she missed you and you blocked her so she couldnt ask you for any nudes- she has better, she could literally see you in action getting fucked by her.

she loved you, that was why she was so fucked up at showing it.

and you just were getting revenge for how she made you feel.

But in a way you two belonged together.

But she’d still use you for your amazing body and how good your tongue felt against her cunt.

you were her little stress reliever. (you’d let her do whatever she wanted to you- you’d just never tell her that)

request are open 💋

[achedelatto]

This is kind of elaborate comment on my first impression of Dr. Watson in Granada version of Holmes

Finally, after lots of hesitation on my side, i started my watch of granada holmes today. Right now, actually. I’m watching it, paused to write this, being halfway into the episode. I’m watching what is presumably the first in the series - A Scandal in Bohemia. I really hope it���s that, because, according to the wikipedia, the order of episodes is rather strange.

Based on what i gathered from the other adaptations i watched and from the acd original, from where i stand at the moment, i expect granada version to be the most accurate in portrayal of its main characters- Sherlock and Watson, in terms of appearance, personality and their dynamic. And thats the goal i was guided with while beginning this series.

In pinterest i stumbled across a lot of screenshots from the show, and from Watson’s looks i’ve already pictured for myself how he would be. He looks incredibly serious , with furrowed eyebrows and intense look and looking quitee. Okay im not gonna try and cherry-pick my wording - dude looks like a total hunk of a man, bro got SHAPES. Which has immediately stricken me as a difference from Soviet Holmes (and any other adaptation i’ve seen, for that matter), where Watson appears as a rather wiry individual. In acd he also first appeared as thin. However, in the book and in soviet holmes he had just returned from the war, while in granada, as we find out from Watson, it’s been several years since he moved in with Holmes (im getting incredibly curious with each second about why they didnt choose to savor the sweet moment of their first meeting) , i was quite happy to see this him evidently getting more healthy. That was the first thing i noticed while watching and what, consequently, has endeared me.

So yea, back to the seriousness. I presumed he would be a man who takes no shit from anyone, stubborn, and the one who keeps it to himself. Or calm as the universe like some major mcnabbs, who agrees with everything and never gets surprised with things (or so it seems). However, when he entered that appartment in the series, i was astonished to discover how…incredibly silly he is. Not only has he a higher voice than i expected (I’ve got nothing against it, it just subverted my expectations more than i could predict), in his conversation with Holmes about the case i caught that childlike wonder! He’s so fascinated!! He also - very, very much - acts like a mom friend. He is a mom friend! While he, not without a bit of gentleman’s prudish manner teaches his friend about the dangers of cocaine, i could see that he really, really cares about Holmes. What a protective lot i see. And he is also made awkward pretty easily, that i also noticed. Silly, as i said. Heavens, how delighted i was to invite that vision with his rather intimidating looks. He still takes no shit from others, thats true, but he is simultaneously so… he seems like he has a simpler approach to life than i could ever imagine.

In conclusion - i find Watson quite canon so far, and like his portrayal. Although i felt like canon Watson thinks more of himself. If you know what i mean. Please, continue, Granada series, happy to get to know you at last.

This comment would probably be followed by a post on Sherlock from this series, then by the post on their dynamic in particular, because both things need to show themselves more, as i proceed with the series.

Thank you for your attention, hopefully granada fans, if they ever find this, wouldn’t be too enraged with some of my takes that could be problematic, after all, i just started the show and mean no harm:)

[hermannsthumb]

hiiiii im a HUGE fan of your work. i was wondering if you would care to do #23-bonfire or #15-bobbing for apples off the fall prompt list?

23. Bonfire

from autumn fic prompts here

i had enough time today to bang this one out really fast, because i desperately wanted to write something halloweeny after spending all month working on the hallozine! take a short fic with some dumb boys (the best kind of boys) making out! (ALSO THANK U!!!)

---------------------------------------------------------

Newt usually doesn’t bother hitting up Shatterdome parties, mostly because he’s become too high-strung, like, 80% of the time to actually enjoy himself at anything that cuts into time that could be spent doing something useful in the lab (he can’t believe he’s actually saying that), but the flyers posted semi-discreetly on corkboards around the base for this year’s Halloween bash caught his eye. A rooftop Halloween bonfire. The brazenness of advertising something so clearly a massively illegal fire hazard impressed him, and in the spirit of sticking it to the man Newt felt like he was obliged to go.

He half-asses a costume an hour before the bonfire starts with the help of some random shit he finds around the lab and shows up fashionably late with a six-pack of low quality beer he shoved into the back of the lab minifridge a couple months ago. The bonfire is being held at the same rooftop he and Hermann sometimes sneak off to to bitch at each other in private when they need some fresh air, to Newt’s surprise, since he’s been operating under the assumption for several years now that they're the only two who know about it. Hermann was the one to pick the lock on the maintenance access door, after all.

The bonfire is more of a controlled campfire in a metal fire pit and being heavily monitored by a j-tech with a poker in a Frankenstein’s monster costume, but Newt finds it admirable all the same.

He trades his six pack in for something that looks moderately less awful from a booze table and takes in the party. There’s Halloween party garland and orange-purple string lights strung around the railings, a few lit up Styrofoam jack-o-lanterns smiling on the snack tables, and generically spooky instrumental music blasting from someone’s Bluetooth speaker. Most of his fellow partygoers are unrecognizable in their costumes.

Well, not everyone.

He’s more than slightly astonished to see Hermann hunched in on himself at the far end of the roof (their spot, Newt would call it, if he wanted to get all sentimental about it), illuminated by string lights, the hood of his massive green parka tucked down low over his face and his fingers wrapped tight around what looks like the same kind of beer as Newt. Hermann doesn’t really do stuff like this, you know, the whole socializing, making an effort to make an effort thing, and—on top of that—he scoffed when Newt tried to subtly imply yesterday over lunch that he should tag along with Newt to the party. Fire hazard, he said, I have no desire to be written up by the Marshal because I’m a huge kiss-up nerd with absolutely zero Halloween spirit, Newton, or, you know, something like what.

Newt makes a beeline for his colleague before Hermann can look up and make a beeline of his own straight out of here. Then again, Newt was the one to invite Hermann in the first place, so he has to imagine the guy won’t completely mind breathing the same air as him for a few minutes.

“Nice costume,” Newt says, sidling up next to Hermann. Hermann doesn’t bother greeting him like a normal human being, just sighs in the put-upon way he likes to direct at Newt alone. “What are you going as, a big nerd?” He plucks at the sleeve of Hermann’s parka. “How are you not dying in that thing right now?”

The Octobers here are very different from the quaint, chilly little New England falls Newt grew up with: warm and humid, and absolutely way too warm and humid for Hermann’s ridiculous big coat. Hermann ignores him, so as payback Newt steals and takes a swig from his beer while Hermann makes a noise of protest. "Did you at least sterilize that equipment before coming up here?" he finally says. “I don’t believe anyone will be very pleased if you get kaiju slime all over the punch bowl. What are you meant to be, anyway?”

“Obviously I’m a mad scientist,” Newt says. He snaps his work goggles down awkwardly over his glasses and pops the collar of his white labcoat, which he’d painstakingly splattered with some blue dye that vaguely resembles kaiju blood. (He was tempted to use actual neutralized blood for authenticity’s sake but ultimately decided that would be a stupid, possibly biohazardous idea.)

Hermann arches his eyebrows, apparently unimpressed.

“Whatever, dude, at least I put in some effort,” Newt says. He pushes the goggles back up and makes a face at Hermann. “I thought you weren’t gonna come to this thing anyway?” Hermann had been pretty adamant about it being a stupid idea.

“I wasn’t intending to,” Hermann says, scowling, and in retaliation swipes Newt’s untouched beer. “I happened to be here when it started—I didn’t realize it was being held at this particular rooftop. I thought I may as well stay. I haven’t got anything better to do, after all.” He takes a sip of Newt's beer.

“Ooh, you party animal,” Newt says.

He tugs Hermann’s hood down off his head so he doesn’t have to think about how bad Hermann must be sweating under it anymore. Beneath it Hermann’s hair is messy and a little staticky, sticking up in the back, and his cheeks and ears are flushed red from either alcohol or heat or both, visible even in the low light. It’s really pretty cute.

Feeling bold, Newt tugs him forward by the parka’s zipper and kisses him. He feels Hermann’s frown gradually smooth out to a stoic just-there smile beneath his lips. Hermann taps his chest gently. “Newton, not in public,” he mumbles.

Pavlovian response to kiss Hermann, Newt thinks; they make out here at least every other week. And anyway, it’s dark enough and they’re far away enough from the crowd around the bonfire that you’d really have to squint to tell who they are, so it's not really that public. Newt recognized Hermann immediately, obviously, but that’s because he instinctively looks for Hermann upon entering any given location on the base. Newt’s being so sentimental tonight. He’s not sure what’s gotten into him.

“You can just admit you wanted to check out the bonfire,” Newt says. “That’s a significantly less weird reason for lurking around in the dark than being too stubborn to leave when everyone crashed your super emo brooding time. You can have fun sometimes, Hermann.” Newt could maybe use that reminder too. “We can have fun,” he amends.

“I wasn’t brooding,” Hermann says.

“Then what were you doing?” Newt says, and at the little embarrassed flick of Hermann’s eyes to the ground, he quickly develops a hypothesis. “Dude, were you waiting for me to get here? And in our spot? Why didn't you just say you changed your mind?”

“I was not,” Hermann says, but he’s the one to close the gap between them this time. Hermann always kisses a little hesitantly at first, like he’s not sure if he’s doing it right, or that Newt is suddenly gonna change his mind three seconds in, but he also gets into it just as fast, and the payoff is always worth it. Soon he’s sliding his hand up the side of Newt’s face and toying with the strap of his safety goggles, his lips parting under Newt’s.

In public! Newt thinks to exclaim, but that’s definitely enough to cut things very, very short, so he keeps his stupid thoughts to himself and grabs the front of Hermann’s parka. “How long do you think we have before they shut this down?” Newt gasps when Hermann slides down to kiss under his jaw. “The—the bonfire, I mean.”

“Not very long,” Hermann says against his throat. “I’ll be fast.”

[deathdetermineslife]

how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?

for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad

i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?

here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers

step 1 - posting

so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.

you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.

another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.

step 2 - be positive

this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.

if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.

when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?

step 3 - have fun

genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.

you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.

and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers

step 4 - interaction

im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.

i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.

i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.

step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now

i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.

also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".

also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.

TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.

alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3

[dreamingofthedteam]

im actually so mad at dream rn. does he genuinely not see where all of his fans are coming from when theyre saying all of this stuff?

drgf: he says he wants her private because she is a private person. but he wants her in his content WITH FACE, he wants to talk about his relationship online, he wants them to do a gf qna. how is that private. and lets forget her history. if you say that is leak then you have no braincells btw coz it was a publically posted thing, im sure everyone who's been around since 2021 can confirm. and lets also not forget what other things have been public. if he fr means what he said in the deleted posts from the music acct from today, then hes either blatantly lying or hes a cheater (which. wtf thats so shitty). what hes done in the past couple days with saying stories about them left and right are absolutely such diversions from the actual thing its laughable that people have taken it and are running with it to stan her. why do you care so much about a person whos not even a cc? i saw someone here say that the way people are such fans of drista as well is weird and i 100% agree they are not people who you should be stanning

dnf: its being shoved down our throats. makes me wonder at certain points wether any of their interactions were ever real (but then the kind people here remind me it very much was❤️). but why does the pandering have to go so hard. does he actually think we like them only for jokes like 'we sleep in the same bed'? is he fr like the reason dnf is what it is because if the friendly way they interact with each other on streams, on twitter and sometimes irl pics/clips. dnf pandering is the one surefire to make most of the fandom mad at you, get 'queerbaiting' allegations thrown at you (ik real people cant queerbait but at some point 'dnf' became a thing which is used to either sell/promo stuff or as damage control and idk what to call that). and then hes having his gf do the pandering on twitter like fuck all the way off it looks so gross on everyones part

dteam: okay so this ones not only dreams thing. the problem here is that we want dteam casual content occasionally (id say like once twice a month even would suffice? thoughts?) but for some reason we never get that. sapnap invites george and dream to stream with him, dream doesnt accept because its not mc so he doesnt wanna play, george only accepts. well idk what makes him accept honestly. then it goes on for a few months people get mad theres no dteam content, all of them stream individually and say the others dont wanna stream with him, we have so many ideas just wait you guys, we will do something soon. then each of them blasts the other and reveals some deeply fucked up shit that has us questioning if they even talk to each other, and on it goes. like why is no one willing to compromise just a little for like 3 hours a month to give us content we've been begging for on all platforms since 2022? dream only wants mc or some cool new game? okay. snf only eant to play cs or valo? not true at all. george will play whatever the others want to play (not all of the time, but he can be convinced) his speedrunning call era and that stupid game what its name era are proof enough. sapnap will definitely play with them based on the number of times hes invited them all to some game on stream. hes invited them to play mc with them (remember his hardcore server?) and they dont show up. sapnap would definitely play with them (unless its some game which is literally only 2 player (think it2)) "they didnt invite me" have you considered that maybe they know you wont make the effort ever that theyve stopped inviting you? insane fr. like all of this to basically say, they shouldnt be airing their shit out for the fans, they must "communicate" or whatever dream claims they do. theres no way they communicate everyday and then have no content plans and also dont have any stories about each other when prompted. theres just no way. and im not even saying anything about the '90% with gf' thing i fear i will scream.

dreamnap: its dead in the water. when was the last time we saw them interact outside of videos? during the afternath of the drebrand, yeah bro spoke 2 words total while sapnap was busy playing whatever that game was

george: he needs to stop saying shit about george. i will actually do something drastic. why does he say hes the most hardworking person ever and them turn around and say hes lazy and plays runescape 24/7. how are you communicati g with him then?? he says george has 5 videos hes sitting on rn but wont post them like i fear we're losing the plot here does no one in that goddam green fucking house see it? do they fr not see the reasons why someone might be acting like that?

in short, dream needs to stop lying, he needs to understand that braindead asshole licking stans make up 1% of the fandom, dteam as a whole need to start talking about casual content more, dnf pandering fpr damage control needs to stop completely, and someone find george a goddam therapist or some shit

[dailynyarinder]

wakey wakey

Is someone home?

HI GUYS MOD HERE IM SO SORRY

Another quick Daily Nyarinder coming soon! Plus… a challenge? 👀

An explanation for my absence + details on an upcoming Daily Nyarinder event under the cut!!

So kinda personal bt my therapist left her practice unexpectedly so I got off my adhd and depresso meds at the same time as I was moving to another house and I just… really lost steam and haven’t had the energy to work on this project orz

i love cotl with all my heart! But my main fandom is svsss (shout out to kamkamquats on twt, this blog was inspired by their dailybingpup!! 💖) and trying to move all my shit over from twitter to bluesky so it doesn’t feed Elon Musk’s ai has also taken a lot of energy that would have been spent drawing for both cotl and svsss.

Additionally, last time I checked this blog I got some anon asks trying to pull me into fandom wank. The admin of this account is a grown adult with a spouse, a house, community protests to organize/attend, cosplays to make, a startup business to take care of; online fandoms are my comfort place and have been since I was 13, and as such I resolved years ago to stay away from fandom drama and just do what makes me happy. I’m really used to how chill and sweet svsss fandom is, so it was kinda startling to remember that younger fandoms are very drama-prone. I deleted those messages, but it still left a sour taste in my mouth whenever I came back to this blog.

As such, I’ve been on a break. And I probably will continue this hiatus until things settle on bluesky and I can spend more time on my friend’s cotl discord server to get my motivation back.

-

THAT SAID, I hope to do a little daily nyarinder art challenge for anyone who still follows this blog! Instructions and rules will be posted separately later today, but the idea is thus:

“YOU, dear reader, are just as wonderful, creative, and capable an artist as any cultist here. What do YOU want to see in Daily Nyarinder’s escapades? Pick up a craft and get creating! Use whatever you’ve got—whether it’s a fancy tablet, ibispaint on a touchscreen phone (that’s how dailynyarinder has been made so far 👀), a pen and the back of a receipt, needle and thread, hook and yarn, scrapbooking paper and scissors, a word doc and a keyboard, a camera, etc etc etc. Whatever medium brings you joy and renews your belief in our benevolent God of Death, this humble Narinder blog calls upon you to make and share a Daily Nyarinder post of your own!

Skill level doesn’t matter in the face of creativity. Whether you’re a renowned oil painter, a fanfic author, a newbie artist, or a kid who just really likes cats, all offerings are encouraged and welcome!

As for content rules, the Nyarinderverse is full of strange and unusual things; anything goes! HOWEVER, since this is a sfw blog and is followed by lots of minors, I’ll ask that if anyone participating decides to draw nsfw content, please make sure it is appropriately tagged and locked behind some sort of link—whether it’s a link to twitter, privatter, or elsewise. Any NSFW that isn’t hidden from immediate view will not be reblogged on this blog. If and when I reblog potential nsfw content, it will be tagged “NSFW” BY ME BY AS WELL so that my followers can filter it out if they need.

Any characters, ships, potential squicks or triggers, etc should be tagged appropriately.

Please know that this blog will never, EVER harass or condone/encourage harassment based on what you make, but as the mod I retain the right to not reblog works that squick me out personally. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make them; it just means they might not all appear here.

Works may be posted separately under the hashtag #DailyNyarinderChallenge or submitted to this blog!

Finally, and most importantly, HAVE FUN!”

^^^ the challenge text will be reposted with some promotional artwork later, but does this sound like it would be a fun event? Let me know what you think.

Look forward to the resolution of the current daily nyarinder arc this week! But then I’ll likely go back on break again until things settle. 💖🐈‍⬛

[snowleopardtherebel]

I would love to hear about the characters for your tmnt iteration! Please talk about it! :D

hehehehehe an ask >:) lets goooo

iteration! yippee! below the cut since it ended up being really long

so this is a new iteration i just recently came up with! It doesn't have a name yet, so right now it's just probably going to referred to as Nyx's TMNT Iteration or smth like that.

the basic premise is that the setting is somewhat post-apocalyptic. what kind of post-apocalyptic? idk man don't ask me, i haven't figured that out yet 😭

Think The Hunger Games-esque post-apocalyptic. It's not the level of post-apocalyptic we see in the ROTTMNT movie, and can be more similarly compared to Panem. They have technology, but a lot of the more advanced technology kind of dies off because a lot of the people who knew how to make and run and fix them died off.

Actually tbh a lot of things might be inspired by thg now that i think of it. There aren't any districts, but the people are spread out in america- and generally the world- similar to the districts, with the exception being they are free to travel from city to city, from town to town

thats not to say there aren't that many people though! new york city today has a population of about 8.8 million people, and im going out on a limb to say around 5-6 million remained after the whole apocalypse thing. I haven't quite figured out what exactly the apocalypse thing is yet.

new york city itself is divided into 3 districts and 2 territories. the districts (queens district, bronx district, manhattan district) were all, yeah, based on the irl districts- there used to be more but there were lots of fighting and then territory was seized and lost and abandoned and eventually the districts ended up here

there was talk of renaming them but the names held such nostalgia they ended up not doing it

"No Man's Land" isn't really no man's land, it's just a chunk of land that's been the source of a shit ton of conflict over the years. it isn't a wasteland but so many battles have been fought and are being fought over that one strip of land and it happens constantly- not inhabitable, just not inhabited

The Crater!

This is, where I'll admit, I took a lot of inspiration from Arcane for this one. It's very heavily inspired by Zaun. Known to Topside as 'The Crater', and to it's residents as 'Mutant Town', The Crater is a large gash in the earth towards the north end of New York City. Only the residents know how deep it goes, or how far it stretches.

Mutant Town and New York City have a similar dynamic to Piltover and Zaun, however it's a bit different. Mutant Town is less oppressed— they still are, just not as badly as Zaun. It's mainly the EPF or The Foot Clan, or The Purple Dragons, or any other New Yorkers who dislike mutants that patrol the city, or the rim of Mutant Town. You would not want to be a mutant caught aboveground.

But for the most part, relations between New York and Mutant Town are pretty much a "You stay out of our business and we stay out of yours". There are a lot of skirmishes and disagreements— many mutants dislike humans, many humans hate mutants— but it never usually gets too bad.

until :)

i do think draxum exists in this iteration though most likely yokai/the hidden city does not, so most likely he'll just be a human-born mutant

most likely, what i'm thinking is either hob or draxum one day around 18-ish years ago first released the mutagen in whatever form- whether it be a bomb or oozezquitos or a gas

and well. it did work. as is to be expected when hob and draxum team up

mutated a large portion of new york....and uh

well

terror!

now to be fair, mutants did exist before that. some fled from other states, some were lab experiments, etc.

so there was a good little community down in mutant town already but as a whole it was very small

and then, of course, the mass mutation happened. thousands of people were out and about New York when it happened, even with the post-apocalyptic world, and hundreds of thousands of them got mutated

the turtles were among the crowd that got mutated though! Hamato Yoshi was a refugee from one of the other cities that fell after an attack, and he had his four sons and a daughter with him when the mass mutation happened, and it was. chaos. to say the least.

everyone was running, crying, screaming. the epf showed up and started shooting at the crowd and so they all scattered and fled. some died that day, including hamato yoshi's mother, but a good majority managed to escape underground.

the turtles were all very young then, mikey (the oldest) was six, donnie was four, and leo and raph, being the youngest, were only one. they never found the sister after the mass mutation, though she was around five, and it was assumed she died then.

so! yeah! that's kind of the basics but im going to cut it off here because it's so long 😭

I am probably going to do a more in-depth post about the characters and their personalities and everything later, but anyone is free to ask more questions or clarifying questions if anyone wants :) thanks for the ask!

also, one last thing! these are all the characters who might/who are planned to be in this iteration btw :)

[cotansansofundertalegaming]

not sure how widespread of a take this is on here BUT i was talking about it in a discord channel today and thought id post, Batman to me has pretty much always been somewhere on the Aro/Ace spectrum. i know he gets married to catwoman sometimes and in most of the movies hes very much shown to be attracted to her (or rachel in the dark knight ig), but as good as most of those movies are the character is never REALLY Batman yk

basically its been shown over the years in the comics that Batman very much so doesnt care for women's advances on him, whether they be catwoman, batwoman (kathy kane in the 50's, not that godawful prologue to the killing joke movie), poison ivy, or whoever; and this has been used fairly frequently to argue that Batman is gay, which sure fine i can see that point i suppose but clearer to me is that Batman doesnt have any interest in fucking ANYONE, let alone the scantily clad or leather suit femme fatales in his life. Batman doesnt have TIME for love or sex or whatever, he has time for his FAMILY sometimes (alfred, dick, ((GRAYSON, THE CHARACTER)), jason, tim, damian, and/or the other 200 bat people), or MAYBE his friends (superman and/or the justice league), but 99% of his time Batman cares about 3 things; Justice, Vengeance, and Being The Knight.

i mean cmon the man is barely even interested in being a Real Fucking Person; anyone who's a fan of Batman knows that Bruce Wayne is the Real "mask" and Batman is the true identity of the man. he cares more about stopping crime and villainy than sleeping or his company or anything someone like Clark Kent could ever possibly worry about. Anyone whos let their human identity fall so far from the rich boy standard to become nothing but The Bat i find HIGHLY UNLIKELY to want to bang the lady with the cat ears and skin tight suit robbing gotham museum #4987 for the umpteenth time.

i cannot possibly even begin to fathom a Batman who has any interest in anything sexual; now obviously there are exceptions like when he marries catwoman or most of the live action movies or even the Animated Series that more prominently features Bruce Wayne as an actual person, but Generally, as in the character and personality everyone thinks of when someone says BATMAN, i believe to be somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum.

of course he HAS had sex, damian wayne is proof, however its going to take a hell of a lot of convincing for you to tell me that damian wayne was born because of Batman's sexual attraction. (i mean i've not actually Read the specific comics that Damian comes from and such but it would feel very out of place to me personally, and to other people ive discovered) also yk theres a reason its referred to as an aro/ace spectrum right like. idk where exactly hed fall there but definitely somewhere on there based on my mostly surface level understanding of it, im not knowledgeable enough on it to really completely get across what im saying but im sure its clear enough.

Batman is just far too concerned with beating the shit out of any criminal he finds on the streets of gotham to bother with sex or relationships or whatever. thought id share my take

[cowboy-robooty]

hiii! I was going through your acc today (well now that I say it out loud, it sounds weird) and I wonder how many AUs of you have cause I’m curious

omg i wrote an entire thing and the draft didnt saveeeee.... divine intervention saying STFU ALREADY. wwwww im glad to hear you read my blog like the morning paper though *angel emoji* i need to blog on here more often.... well... wiener is dying in the california fires rn. so thats why you been seeing im talking about whatever all the time LOL.

anyways if you mean only hetalia aus then I have my angel demon au (you probably know it) and my idol au that I have not released publically online yet but GOD I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT FOR IT LOL. Whenever I make an au i get really invested as you can tell and tbh im always pondering if i should just make this shit my ocs. but mehhh idgaf im never making an actual tv show or comic even though i envision it in my head so who gaf i keep it as itager yatta! I want to release more about my aus and such but I always somehow get so caught up in making things properly organized and such bc i get so wrapped up in world building..... i need to just post whatever and let those who like it search around my blog to learn more -_- I hope everyone will like my idol au when I release it though. You all know I'm Japanese and i think this au really proves I am since I have the gene that compels mangaka to make a series where the premise is like "I won a cereal voucher for an ultra rare prize that the moon goddess wanted but I lost it somewhere and now we have to fight a bunch of villains very obviously based off characters in sherlock holmes to get it back" and then they just roll with it. because my idol au is kind of a bunch of bullshit but its because it's based off that one idol italy drawing I drew over a year ago for wiener and i went "okay. what could make germany become an idol manager? hmmmm.. okay this is the only possible way [most dumbass idea ever]"

If you also want to know about my aus for other fandoms uhmm i have my au for the boondocks where tom and sarah divorce but its like a whole episode thing and tom ends up dating pretty boy flizzy and at first grandad n the boys are kinda weirded out but flizzy is a millionaire and immdiately after grandad is homophobic to tom in the lowkey sense (that tom doesnt notice) tom is like "thanks robert for being so supportive. well I've got to get going, fitzgerald (it would be fucking hilarious if flizzy's real first name is fitzgerald) and I are going jet skiing with post malone. Yeah, and afterwards were having wagyu sushi lined with gold leaf caviar and dodo bird! How fancy right?" and grandads all like DODO BIRD? AINT THAT EXTINCT? etc etc and increasingly he sees that actually tom dating pretty boy flizzy is amazing bc flizzy is rich and spoils him. and hes like BOYS PERHAPS I WAS TOO HARSH ON THE LGBT COMMUNITY. and riley even gets in on it too cuz flizzy is a cool ass rapper and hes like shiiiiiiiiiiiit hes kinda gangsta af though. and like after this ep they turn out as a real long term couple for the rest of the series. theyre in the bg and shit and come in to help when some bullshit is going on as usual yk. I need to think more about how to make it a proper episode with classic boondocks flavor social commentary though. I want to make it a doujin one day and have my black in-law friend help me with the script bc im not going to say the n word but its not really boondocks dialogue without it so i will need him to collaborate with me.

i also have my golden kamuy aus too. the yaoi ogata au is a big one but this post is becoming gianormous so send me another ask if you'd like to be introduced to yaoi ogata. and i have my usakado au that isn't really an au but I have a very specific way I want this ship to occur. because I don't think it's canon at all but if it were to happen the only way it could (and should) is if kadokura is about to be trampled to death by noahs arc bc of his luck but then in a twist of events usami ends up getting trampeled. and kadokura thinks that this is good luck but actually its his regular bad luck bc after usami heals from the incident he has critical brain damage that transfers his lust and yandere obsession from tsurumi to kadokura (being loved by usami is worse than dying LOL). And it spirals from there. I want it to also have a lot of biblical references because I think it really fits usakado to have kadokura like a jesus marytr since his bad luck will counteract usami's unending lust for world destruction. Since by being together the bad luck makes it so usami always fails at the crazy shit hes trying to do and it's like kadokura is protecting the world from usamis insanity by taking it all..... figuratively and in the ass too! how beautiful is that?

[pixeljade]

I've been getting lots of followers because of my posts about US Politics. So lemme just do an intro here

Hi, my name is Jade, I'm a trans woman, she/her pronouns, and I am a cartoonist who is currently on hiatus due to personal shit. I'm also into several fandoms (im sure youve noticed), and love shitposting.

I have a pretty solid working knowledge of US politics and political theory, I've read a lot of it and even was a political science major for a few years (I dropped that because I realized how it was impossible to enact significant change from within the system designed to be a game for wealthy elites). On top of this, I have a wide variety of life experience: I used to be homeless, I've visited most of the continental US (44 states last i counted), I grew up in a suburb surrounded by farmland in CA, went to college in OH, I've been an executive director of a non-profit and also washed dishes for minimum wage. All of these experiences shape who I am and what I believe in.

As for what I believe in, lets get the Lawnsign rundown of my politics out of the way:

• Trans Rights Are Human Rights

• Trans athletes deserve to compete, and not be segregated out

• Black Lives Matter

• No person is illegal

• ICE is Gestapo and must be abolished

• What Israel is doing to Palestine IS genocide and must be fought

• Climate change is real and gas companies are to blame

• Public Transit is Based

• Capitalism must be demolished if we are to survive

• Hierarchical structures of power will be abused by those in power, ALWAYS

• Sex work should be legalized

• Sex is awesome and literally the only reason you reading this are breathing today, being squeamish about it makes sense

• Kink belongs at pride

• Corporations and cops do not

• We must make more connections with eachother, at all costs

I think thats enough that you can generally extrapolate out where i stand on most other issues. If theres one you CANT figure out, or youd like to discuss one of these issues, please send me an ask, as long as you do it in good faith I will answer in good faith! Heck, or you can just send me DMs or asks to get to know me. I assure you I dont bite.

Oh ALSO???? I have a cat, her name is Citrine, we rescued her from abandonment when she was three days old. I was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes so yes i am her mom:

Oh and nice to meetcha all!

[cinnamanz]

One time I was accused of using Ai bc of the dashes and lowkey I was kind of flattered. MY highschool ahhhhh self was going off straight vibes on where to use them. I thinks it’s hard to phase them out since so many fanfic writers do use them, and idk about other people, but we pick up writing styles from what we consume.

I think the most tell tale sign someone is using ai is when you read a story and you have to go “ wait huh?” Even for a second. AI can be grammatically correct and it can bring details into a scene, but it’s so bad at storytelling and tend to repeat ideas a LOT. And it’s a different “wait” than just a new writer’s story. Oh and if someone is posting like A LOT, pretty frequently.

All this to say, i don’t think we need to phase out the em dashes. They’re such a hallmark of fanfic writing.

Also lol I love your writing :D

writing so good u got accused of using ai🙂‍↕️ u dont know this but i sat up on my bed nd clapped🙏 but yes, i so agree w picking up the writing styles based on what we consume!! i used to be a wattpad fan (whos surprised) nd the amount of fics id consumed from that app def shaped me as the writer i am today😭 used to inhale that shit nd be like "okay, how do i try nd write like them" LMAOOOO didnt realise id been morphing multiple writing styles from the fics until last year😭

im ngl i dont think ive read any fic thats been ai generated but i have used chatgpt for my school notes, nd i def get what u mean🙂‍↕️ it once gave me the wrong information nd i had to do a double take LMAO ppl in my class have also been using ai to generate their shit nd ur right cs u can easily tell when they do. had my english teacher asking a classmate, being like "did u make that urself?" IJBOL

the posting frequently thing too like how do u have sm life in u to be able to dish out that many fics💔 makes me feel like im lacking nd i have to keep up like DAMN. em dashes r like the backbone of fic writing nd i totally agree w it being a hallmark🙂‍↕️ its the way u cld easily tell when smn's a fic author w the em dashes oh🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀 also thank u so much anon!! appreciate it❤️❤️

[ceasarslegion]

Vent under the cut

God I feel like im dealing with so much stupidity today... first I get "tourism is colonialism" and then my KFC pentagon post gets food conspiracies and people assuming I don't know what halal is because apparently it isn't clear enough that I may be joking on a post where I mention how I think they put "the stuff that made Malcolm the middle" in it

I am so serious when I say that that first shit is why I never posted about my travels before, and after a few days of doing so I've already gotten compared to a fucking colonizer and implied to be a zionist in the same breath. And in that second one im getting folks telling me that i just have to deal with assumptive comments whether or not its clear im joking. Are you so shitting me right now

Maybe i should just stop posting about traveling again, this is exactly what i was afraid of and it's already come to fruition. I do not need people who don't even fucking know me to make wide-sweeping, insane claims about me based on one post, whether it be travel or the fucking pentagon KFC deep fryers, on the same day I had to deal with my shittiest most toxic relative passive aggressively telling all my coworkers about how shitty of a grandson I am for not talking to her until someone in my family died this week

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alrighty, so I watched Spring Thunder today and I loved it so much that I went to the library to get the book that its based on, Die Leiden des jungen Werther/The Sorrors of Young Werther, which, sidenote, I would not translate 'Leiden' as sorrows, I feel like The Suffering of Young Werther would be more accurate, but maybe they thought that was a little overdramatic for what Young Werther actually goes through. I mean, he ends up killing himself which sounds like suffering to me but whatever. Anyway, while at the library I remembered that I still wasnt done with acomaf and started to feel kinda guilty about it because its been weeks since I even did my big analysis of chapter 54 and theres been ample opportunity for me to finish it because I ride the bus a lot, often for an hour at a time, but always just ended up killing that time by listening to music or an audiobook. So, in order to motivate myself, I have decided that I will not be reading Die Leiden des jungen Werther until Im done with acomaf, and I started reading right away on my way back home

I only made it through one chapter (chapter 55), but I have quite a lot of thoughts about it even though its mostly just post-mating bond acceptance smut

Firstly, the smut should not have been so ~hot and steamy~, atleast towards the beginning. Because the chapter starts off with Feyre making this big love confession and Rhysand being so touched and overwhelmed that he starts crying and she comforts him and then they share this tender kiss, which worked quite well for me emotionally surprisingly enough, but then he gets hard and they just immediately get to fucking. And not only do they immediately get to fucking, its not even gentle or tender or particularly emotional. Like, Feyre keeps internally talking about how much she loves Rhys and how hes her mate but it all just feels completely hollow to me (probably because the mate-shit in general just feels completely hollow to me tbh). And its so jarring immediately going from this tender intimate moment to smut wherein the narrators orgasms keep being likened to explosions of light and color. Like, how do you go from Feyre gently kissing the tears off Rhysands face to a fucking laser-lightshow in her pussy, it just takes me out of it

I will say, one thing that I like was Feyre telling him "You're mine" or rather, "You belong to me" (which I like even better) in the german version, but I assume she said the first thing in the original english one. Like, it is pretty transparently a limp attempt at seeming feminist and empowering on SJM even as shes writing Feyre as the one submitting to Rhysand for the most part, but Im easy to please in this regard. Its actually crazy how much I like him whenever hes in a somewhat vulnerable and/or submissive position instead of being Big Strong Many Man, I think if Feyre went full femdom on him I would fully forgive him for all of his crimes and for being extremely annoying (although femdom feyre would ideally whip him into shape ;)), but alas, SJM is a coward so I shall keep complaining about him until I die

But beyond the smut not working on an emotional level, I just hated the way it was written. The acotar series is truly not beating the 'Porn for people who are embarassed about reading porn' and not just in the sense that it has a lot more plot than straightup porn/erotica so its easy to pretend like youre reading it for that, but the words used and the way things are phrased are just so. Its difficult to describe, but it feels both gratuitous and like its massively holding itself back which is not a good combination for a fully written out sex scene; if youre gonna have one of those in your book you cant half-ass it, if youre gonna do it like this then you might as well just fade to black instead. The fact that everything is so explicit and yet so vague and that the genitals are never actually referred to as cock, vagina, clit, labia etc etc but only like, subtly alluded to, also just doesnt work for Feyres character

Like, Im gonna level with you here, Im not personally someone whos embarrassed about reading smut at all, but I am pretty embarrassed about writing it and I especially dislike writing any of the words for genetalia or the asshole because they all just feel so crude to me, so my smut scenes are kinda similar to this one in that way. However, most of my smut scenes are written from the perspective of a shy repressed young man in the 19th century whos never had sex having gay sex for the first time (i have a very specific type), so I can avoid words I dont like while still having it work on a character-level. But Feyre is constantly making dirty jokes and innuendos and shes supposed to be a sexually liberated character in a feminist book, so why does she have to say shit like "he nibbled at the sensitive point at the apex of my thighs" instead of just saying the word clit or labia or whatever it is shes talking about here, she could be about her fucking urethra for how vague shes being

And just to be clear, I dont think this smut scene is necessarily like this because SJM is embarrassed, I think its far more likely that its like this because its YA, which. I find it wild that publishers are just fine with pretty explicit sex scenes in YA now after years of seemingly not being fine with it, but then theres still this insistance on not using actual anatomical terms. Like, I dont think theres anything wrong with explicit sex scenes in YA books in general (although I would prefer if it they werent there/were non-explicit and teens would just go to adult books for their smut-fix, instead of thing we have now where it seems to be adults going to YA books for their smut-fix) because teenagers do be having sex and they do be having sexual fantasies, but if youre a country/culture like america where you dont find that okay at all, its just baffling that at some point you would suddenly be like "nvm actually, we are okay with it, but ONLY as long as authors dont use the anatomical terms", yknow what I mean? Atleast if they did use those terms instead of being needlessly vague you could argue its educational for the teen audience

Anyway, one last complaint I have about the smut is that its so repetetive. Feyre orgasms like four times and its basically described as some variation of "i exploded internally" every single time and Im just like, sarahhhhhhhh get new material pleaseeeeeeee. Also, this is a nitpick and also coming from someone whos never had sex before (and never will) but my orgasms never feel like explosions, they feel more like. like orgasms, it is admittedly hard to describe in other terms. but maybe you wouldnt need to use other terms if you just used to word orgasm. food for thought

Another thing that I wanted to talk about that annoyed me was the fact that Feyre kept calling Rhysand her friend because no the fuck hes not. They dont have any kind of platonic dynamic because they dont have any kind of dynamic outside of mutual sexual attraction and Rhysand putting her in saw traps ~for her own good~

The last thing that I wanted to talk about was this part towards the end that honestly just baffled me. So, Rhysand is explaining all the details of the post-mating bond horny frenzy to her and how he wishes he wouldnt have to go out and do politics so soon after she accepted it because the MaLeS always get really possessive during this time. Specifically, he explains that hes seen perfectly reasonable and measured guys completely destroy rooms after another man looked at his mate too soon after the bond was accepted. First of all, Rhysand knows other people beside his two friends, his cousin and the eldritch creature that doesnt really like him? could we meet them please? Second of all, this obviously makes Feyre think of Tamlin destroying rooms and upsets her, and Rhysand is just like "dont worry, i have enough self-control to not do stuff like that, but also I am a male after all, so if I do do stuff like that please be patient with me 🥺" which is just wild to me, that is such an abuser-coded thing to say. Not asking your partner to be patient with offputting behaviours in general, but like, specifically asking them to be patient with you potentially being violent "because of them". Its also very vindicating after this post that I wrote a few days ago ngl

Verdict: this fucking sucked. but not as much rhysand and feyre did this chapter ayooooooo