#im planning out the days currently as well
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Sometimes I forget I inherited the insane overprepper gene from my mother until I need to plan something
#ive already written out my packing list for a hiking trip im doing the end of the month#im going through an rebuilding my first aid kit tonight#im planning out the days currently as well#including a list of restaurants we xan eat af#also writinf the grocery list of food and snacks we'll need currently#like i will combust if i dont do this
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turns out i turned the assignment i was stressing over into something a lot more complicated in my head & its actually really simple
#somehow mistook my far too ambitious plans as the actual assignment#:(#this is really good though bc i thought id be at this all day but if all goes well i could be done in like 2 hours#:)))#which is good bc i have 2 tests tomorrow and an assignment#none of which were put on the online platform we use#which means that i forgot#and another test i have to redo at some point#but i dont know when#aaaghhh why is there so much work always#oh and i need to work on my final project too#the current step is due by the end of next week & its a lot of work#i have to find a bunch of relevant sources#and then paste or type all relevant parts of them in a document#and also provide a defence as to why the sources i picked are trustworthy#and i have to do this for a bunch of them#i have to defend them all individually too#if it was just a text on how i judged the trustworthyness that would be fine#but this is a lot#and im also trying to prepare for the exams already#mine#im so so sick of school#i want some free time to watch a film#!!#its been at least 2 weeks since i had the time#ugh#are they trying to drive us all to burn out or something??
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hello guys <3 i've been absent for a looooong while but i want to know, how have you been doing?!
#i have some news on my part :)#namely being 4 days away from finally finishing med school!! and then there's only the board exam left to do and i'll finally start practic#the studies have really taken up almost my whole time and drawing has been shift to like...... fourth or fifth plan :/#regardless. i dont regret it because im currently loving what im studying. everything finally seems like its falling in place#if u remember the fwb situation ive mentioned a few times here before as well. thats also taking up a lot of my time ahah turns out#we really enjoy being around each other and always end up making time in our schedules to be together during the week so....#even though were technically not a item hes been great company and great inspiration. its amazing when you have someone who respects#and supports you and your dreams and pushes you towards your goals and towards being better#yeah. everythings feeling like its falling in place in my life and it has been feeling great :)
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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
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#still wild to me that i am in a relationship#itll be 3 months next week and i am obsessed with him than ever#i never couldve imagined itd actually be like this but it is literally everything i ever wanted#hes sooooo kind#and sweet and i could gush about him all day long#i mentioned in front of two of his friends how im planning to buy a ps5 in the next couple months bc i only have Nintendo consoles#and i wanna play other games#and his two friends where like well why arent you getting a gaming pc?????#important note here: they all are gaming nerds and they are all like IT guys incl my boyfriend#and i explained that its just the easiest way and that im not really a pc gamer#(but important note here is that my bf has hi gaming pc set up on his tv and plays with a controller exclusively and i do vibe with that)#and then all 3 basically were like we will literally build you a gaming pc ourselves so you dont buy a ps5!!!!#that was 2 days ago.#yesterday my boyfriend showed me his research into possible gaming pc set ups for me that would be within a certain budget#while still being definitely more than good enough#and he explained some things to me and asked my opinions#and now im sat here like ok 🥺#i think ill let my boyfriend build me a gaming pc#mind you i wasnt planing on getting a ps5 before fall the earliest bc im planning on moving soon and money and all that#but hes already planning and gathering ideas#while still understanding why i initially wanted a ps5 (less money and i have no idea about gaming pc set ups) and leaving it fully up to me#i am also now at exactly 100 hours into elden ring with him as my backseater#which means end game shit#i am currently switching between trying to win against Malenia Mogh lord of blood and radagon#its........ going#i maxed out my number of flasks and charges?? is that what its called#and i got my +10 staved and sword/catana#its still super fun but hoh boy#the rush of adrenaline when i finally beat godfrey and my boyfriend was so hapoy for me too it was honestly super fucking adorable#personal
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ASHE! ASHE!!!!
MUTUAL VIBE CHECK!!
Have been a time since we talked! I hope you're doing alright and having a good night/day!!
Just came to say 'hi' because you're a very special person to me! you were one of the first person I talked here on tumblr and I will never forget the funny little thing we would send each other. I wish we could go back to talking with one another someday, I really miss you!!
HI OMG HI OMG !!!! FOXY:-) TYSMM RAA ? ? ? I MISS U 2 WTF !!! tysm 4 this omggg im doing sooo well <- KILLED IN THE ACADEMICS . i hope ur doing well too >_< !!!!!
#ask#HI FOX#dudeim drowning in . work like so much work theyre putting my ass THROUGH it this year . hello .#nyways i got super into svs ss thoo ugh . Souhhh . Sooo . IM INSANE OVER IT .#no literally i haveto . do this internship for a month now plan trips all year round finish college applications n letters n resumes n all#my current school work LIKE . THEYRE TRYING TO KILL ME .#in hell but its ok tho bc i uh what its my birthady . soon . = MONEY . 😻 and also im taking sword lessons hi . love beinginsane#HOPE UR DOING WELL TOO !!! i just like rambling in tags hi . how to post on tumblr dot com . fufcking forgot . i dont post art anymore bc#errmm . too much work bye . also my clip studio paint kicked me out after 4 years . YAY . no idea how to post Yeap yeap . OW OKAY . WELL .#HOPE UR OKAY BC . my tummy hurts . GOOD DAY FOXY !!!#WISH I COULD TALK W U ALL MORE IM JUST SO BUSY FOREVER NOW 🙁
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#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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WAIT I JUST REALIZED the next con im going to, im gonna be there for TWO days oh my god what do i WEAR for the second day
#my post#day 1 is p0gtopia-era ct0mmy#ive had that planned for months#BUT DAY 2????#i do have a ton of costumes just laying around. like just so many.#p0gbur and gh0stbur and generic lman uniform and early-days ctubb0 and honestly i could do almost ANY era for ct0mmy#butttt i also have gillion and chip. and im pretty confident i could throw together a jay as well#and i still have bunter!#but i kinda want to make a new one hmm <- literally has like. a singular week#its FINE i made the bunter cosplay in three days#OH I COULD FINISH MY WIWI SHIRT AND GO AS HIM??#i do have some bits of a cranb00 cos ive been slowly putting together? hmmm but id have to figure out facepaint.... dunno!#ive also got party p0ison just sitting here..#and i do have a chb shirt somewhere......#OH HOLD ON. if i go as the current jay design then i can reuse my lman jacket!!!#oh thats PERFECT. oki i think im going as jay lol <3#now i just have to. figure this out
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There are a few rare occasions where I feel like a proper student rather than just someone wasting thousands in student loans, but I seem to save them up for the lowest moments
#student living#Biomed sciences#ive got a presentation coming up in anatomy and physiology so im currently tucked away in a silent study room with music playing on my phon#earbuds in with 2 textbooks open pen&paper out for notes as well as my laptop open to clarify organisation of said notes for my presentatio#this coming after having a meeting with my university adviser last Thursday about my 'attendance and engagement' 🙄#due to the worst spate of depression ive had in the last couple years cus i completely overwhelmed myself like an idiot#but hey at least im doing my presentation sooner than the night before the handin deadline and pulling an all nighter to pull it off#which is the other half of the student experience that i usually experience#but this is a reoccurring thing that i get really low then i have like a week of being super productive in which i exhaust myself#and as a result lose momentum because its not sustainable its all super fun#at least im actually researching instead of just skimming the abstracts of a load of potential journals and calling it a day#had to pull out the flashcards as well when i needed to draw out a flowchart to wrap my head around it and#i have neither my notebooks or post it notes with me as i didnt actually plan to study when i left home this morning#that would be too much organisation especially first thing in the morning when my brain doesnt kick in until 1pm
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Screw it finals are OVER,,,,, going to pass out for like 12 hours and then try to catch up on things n figure out what to do here---
#[ ooc ] ✧〖 bid farewell to weaver’s town 〗#[ technically im missing an assignment but just got email at -glances at clock- 4am that things have been graded#[ and idk if they'd accept late submission + i got an A (barely) anyway so .#[ im burned out man i give up fdjklsd#[ finals project was supposed to be group project but my partner ditched so just. tried to speedrun everything#[ why did i think it was a good idea to try and overachieve when i had 2 days...... game is SO buggy and messed up </3#[ mildly clownshaped#[ first semester of college though.... over.....#[ going to let brain and body recover and then yeah catch up on stuff here#[ probably organize what i owe / go through followers bc still havent done that and clean some stuff#[ been meaning to update garp's graphics and make a op multi so thats coming up eventually#[ currently planning for bege chimney hatchi maybe maybe some others but gotta check#[ if anyone has any recommendations or suggestions grabs you--#[ but yes its like 4am i am going to pass out#[ hope yall doin well apologies for the -waves hand at everything- lately#[ first time going through this kind of thing (my educational life was. Nonexistant) so it's been wild and#[ that can affect how i am online dfsljksd#[ anyway ye yall take care heart heart
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idk what it was about my most recent minor breakdown but im. kind of actually doing shit
#to feel like a real person in the world.#this mostly entails being somewhere else than at home or at work.#most things are off by a month or so. but im planning#2 day big librarian meet-up in may (which is a work thing! but in a wildly different environment so im absolutely counting it)#and im actually pretty excited for it i wrote down the talks / workshops i want to go to. interesting stuff.#3-4 day vacation (my 33 hours overtime <3) by the sea alone#currently trying to figure out where exactly to go and just how much money this will cost me (its out of season at least...)#and then i might go to a thing this saturday. which isnt that far off#so i have less time to psych myself out about going but also less time to prepare. i can see myself bailing so easily#but i would like to. see it through and if i literally puke because im so nervous then so be it#(i need to balance that energy and in the event of me NOT going also not beating myself up over it too much.)#sick of being disappointed in myself.#im trying to move past the point of being upset at myself/the fact that these are special events to me. its still kind of hard#youd think at some point id get used to the fact that im like. mentally ill and that its majorly affecting my life but. yeah well#actually nvm like 2 weeks ago i was so used to it i was ready to give up on even trying to change anymore.#rosa talk
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I may or may not have just gotten myself safeguarded at school!! Good night everyone!!
#ine had a day#needed to hand in homework at five i forgot becauss my brother gf came round and i only got upstair at 5#i hadnt even touched the homework#my dad then got a message from my brpther saying that hed finally found my maternal granddads face book#my mum has refused to give us anyway to contact him for years (even after she told my brother she had cancer#he doesnt even have cancer??#but anyways weve been looking for over a year sonce my nephew was born#and then i got to speak to my granddad for the first time in memory#and fuck#it took a few hours but im now sobbing agressively and submittef my home wprk like 6 hours late#meaning i get a detention!!! yyayy!!!#so i just say that hey maybe in future she can label home work as well homework and i did not mean anything bad by this but cuz im autistic#and cant read tone i guess it did!!!#i still deleted it just in case but my teacher still saw#tirns out teachers are seng emails when a student leaves a private comment#so she said 'i dont appreciate your tone“#so i then traumadumped on her about today#amd said 'yeah i cant read tone so thats wny i deleted it'#and um#yeah#ive had a day#i do plan on going in a little earlier to class just to say sorry for trauma dumping and explaon to her that im currently being diagnosed#for autism#so yeah
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The agony of realizing that I'm almost out of most my black makeup I use for drawing on myself . Right as it's Halloween 😭 just barely managed to get a little bit used but one of the containers had to be trashed cause it was empty and dried out
#og.txt#anyways hi im going as the Archivist and im devastated that I'm barely able to get the black items out for the eyes#doing the black scalera green iris eyes :D#have plans fo one day have Biblically Accurate Archivist (eyes that look like they follow you)#for now im settling for a massive amount of eyes everywhere thats exposed#oh fun fact if anyone is interested. my friends joke I'm like a fox irl and it's actively made worse bc#as a trans/NB person i dont really care abt hair being percueved feminine or masculine#cause i used to have long ass hair for a ling time and jt was a pain to upkeep. but i also enjoyed the length and styles right#well. i realized and i have now been teased by my friends about having a 'winter coat' of hair. i grow it out starting August and cut it#when it gets hot again in the spring#currently in the hell of having hair long enough to get in my face but short enough it can barely be put up
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currently at tier 56/80 for the overwatch battlepass (4 days left) and im not convinced ill finish it tbh
#i was trying to do 4 tiers per day from when i started as that would have been enough to finish it by the end of the season#but then i skipped like two days and that made it so much worse lol#4 was such a nice number too because after i get through like 4 tiers worth of games WITH hella bonus xp from challenges im like.#i never want to touch this game again#even if the games are good and the people are nice#anyways the math currently maths out to me having to do 6 tiers a day which is insane#for getting like MAX 2k xp per game thats 30 games a day#subtract a small amount for daily challenges but its still not looking great#i play like 8 games if that and im like well that was cool. bye forever#i think my plan is to grind the fuck out of the weekly challenges when they reset#cuz they reset right before the battlepass ends#if i just do nothing else besides play this game for the like day or two that the challenges are out i can get some extra xp#simon says
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did you have those chapters already ready to go or have you just been blitzing them out? i've been enjoying either way but if it's the latter i fear your power
LMFAO IVE BEEN BLITZING THEM OUT. i started adhd medication in the spring and im on vacation right now so everyday i sit down and write for a few hours to see what i get out! i cant promise update schedules will be like this forever because i have a job now and it’s pretty exhausting. but until the fifth of january im free to go crazy with it!!
#asks#im currently working on ch 3 of nemesis & nike as we speak and hopefully if all goes well itll be out tomorrow or the next day#as of answering this ask im 2k words in and about to write a chase scene#hehe#when i was writing my transformers fanfic id weite ten chapters and then when i was done post them weekly#but i like the instant gratification of dropping them when im done#the only consequence of this is planning and pacing may suffer because those are my weakest areas#and i dont have that buffer time to edit parts as i see fit
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#woof. if all goes to plan Tomorrow is the last day i have to take measurements forever. if all goes to plan. if all goes to plan. but im#not holding my breath bc thats asking for chaos. i think this week ive done a good job of not pushing it#in terms of not torturing myself and making myself insane. which is good bc its exhausting taking measurements with the ambient stress of#apartment hunting from across the country. ive toured 2 places from afar and applied to them. and im meeting with someone to talk abt#potentially being roommates tomorrow. which is terrifying bc i really just wanna beg them like pls pls like me so i can stop looking pls#like i have to rely on my charisma i guess when im a bit asocial and odd. not unlikable but idk maybe they want someone more normie idk#its exhausting. ive sent so many emails and so many places r like no u gotta physically visit. ugh#and i have to clean my whole apartment by Tuesday for my landlord to inspect bc i had to give them a 30 day notice or else they wouldn't#release my info for like referal on background checks. there should b flexibility in when i can leave tho. its just stressful#at least im doing this when im pretty stable and i stop taking measurements tomorrow but i haven't taken a break since last Saturday#and haven't really had time to properly draw which annoys me and apparently i wont get a break this weekend with all the cleaning i gotta do#but oh well. at least im better off than the other person i kno who is moving Tuesday across the country and currently doesnt have a place#to stay. so i guess theyre gonna b living out of their car for a while. im stressed enough a month out from leaving#sigh. im just v tired and my heart is beating too fast and i wanna start cleaning now but im sleepy#whenever we go sampling we joke that we have to make sacrifices to the weather gods for good conditions. i guess i gotta make sacrifices#to the housing gods 🙏 ugh. pls. i dont wanna still b doing this for another week when i wont have time bc ill actually have to focus on#things. ugh. cant wait to b in the future where i dont have to deal with this#unrelated
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