#im not sorry for being cringe i can do whatever i want forever

[malikselfindulgence]

Dickhead shipping [swk x blaze ] core

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

[pintrestgrl]

loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !

hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.

also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹

note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞

drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.

“here, drink this.”

you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.

he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.

you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.

he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.

“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”

“no, ‘m not. you are.”

“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”

“whatever. guilty by association.”

he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.

“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”

“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”

he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.

you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?

you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.

you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.

“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”

“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.

“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”

you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.

“you’re kinda pretty too.”

you froze at his words.

pretty?

that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.

“what?”

“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”

“jj, you’re drunk.”

“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”

you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.

you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.

you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.

so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.

“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”

you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.

“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”

“jj, shut up. stop.”

“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”

“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”

“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”

you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.

“you think you like me?”

“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.

“jay, you’re joking.”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”

you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.

“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”

it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.

was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?

you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.

next morning

————————————————

you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.

you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.

you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.

he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.

“what do you need?”

“can we talk?”

“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”

you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.

“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”

he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.

“i told you that?”

“yeah, you did.”

“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”

“kinda?”

“no. not kinda.”

he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.

“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”

“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”

you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.

“kinda? you’re serious?”

“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”

“shut up.”

“i’m serious, i do.”

“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“i don’t know. i was nervous.”

a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.

finally, jj spoke.

“uh— i’m like really hungover.”

you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.

“that’s what your gonna say?”

“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”

“you could’ve just said that.”

“well, i just did, didn’t i?”

“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”

he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.

you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.

you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.

[soup-du-silence]

tagged by @yeoroot!

Original: “If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!”

(It got changed to a tagging game so I pasted the original to keep track of the prompt) sorry the chain always ends with me asdkgffds i never know who to tag or whatever

I've been listening to I Lose Control by Teddy Swims on repeat lately because it's my "jamikali fuck codependent mental amv soundtrack" song--shut up i know we all do this. im no exception.

2. springboarding off of yeo: I DONT have 73 gigs of pics in my phone (haha holy shit) but my screencap folder does pretty much look exclusively like this because it took me ages to learn that i dont HAVE to screenshot pixiv doujin to translate it, i can just long press and select google lens. oops!

3. i have seven in-progress fic docs at the moment. i dont know if any of them will see the light of day. One feels...closeish? Like its more than 50% to completion and it feels dumb not to try to muscle through. One i want to finish soooooooo bad but i dont know if i'll be able to brute force my way through the technical stuff. One is self indulgent misery porn (and actual porn) that i dont know if id ever be comfortable posting---Everyone can do whatever they want forever, free of judgement....except me, of course. I deserve to be shamed out of being cringe. the rest are probably nothing going nowhere. i can only ever seem to make meaningful progress on them when im not supposed to be writing (at work, in social situations) and its low key agony!! If I get ONE done maybe the two-day post-posting positive reinforcement period will bolster my confidence enough to make some proper headway.

[shan-helsing]

I know it's random, but any wulfric hcs 👀 ?

WEEPS INTO MY HANDS. TYSM FOR ASKING. i'll write some i can think of rn !

▪︎wulfric comes from some random germanic village, not the same as viago but similar, and has a ridiculously insane name. my gf is a huge fan of the name wulfric van schlammstein for him. bc it sounds funny.

▪︎ he travelled to england for research in studies (dawg i do not know, i'm still brainstorming this) n there he met lovely laszlo, mr gorgeous leslie cravensworth. since laz is KIND OF a science guy and I KNOOOW he did all that silly science stuff after he turned but i like to hc that laz in his human years was also studying science, as well as being in that club. as well as being raised in an aristocratic household.

anyways they somehow meet and something sparks. but since laz is consistently busy with his stuff they can only have cute little rendezvous at night in a park or something. they kiss. smoochie even.

▪︎ wulfric was NOOOT aware laz was turned by nadja. when nadja came and bedazzled laz he loves her forever and ever he kinda found wulfric cringe. like cringey dandelion ex bf (they didnt even break up officially) so laz kinda. tried to get wulfric outta his life. I had to think silly about this since its fucking. Wwdits. i have to be silly.

Laz invited wulfric for dinner in the middle of the night. Wulfric took ZERO notice to it being 12am. laszlo ate NOOOOTHING DRANK NOTHING. this bimbo had 0 realisation of any vampiric things. Anyways laz tried to poison wulfric many times that night. He thought he succeeded, but wulfric just got some weird tummy ache afterwards. It was probably expired food LMAOAOAO (im still brainstorming all of this hehehehe)

▪︎ wulfric got turned by a random vampire before he set to seas back home. This wouldve been the last time he saw laz. Loooong long ago. Wulfric was still idk man kinda food poisoned and whatever way he was, the vampire who turned him got stuck in bat form. They are best friends now.

▪︎ wulfric super slumbered for about 150 years. he knows nothing. ZILCH of any of the wars LMAO. he woke up in the 70s and just had the time of his life. sailed to the new world. hes super clueless about anything thats happened so he just takes everything at face value.

▪︎ wulfric also has a familiar !!!!! his name is dorian (i'll link a pic below) dorian was turned just before wulfric super slumbered so he knew that dorian would protect him. dorian is still his familiar. Even as a vampire. Wulfric knows hes cheating the system - he does not care.

▪︎ i like to imagine wulfric comes back into the picture w laz in a super funny way. laszlo installs an electric fence and just so happens to electrocute his silly bimbo ex bf as a bat. What the FUCK. wulfrics allllll over laz and laz just gets so flustered and embarrassed. JUST BUGGER OFF 😭😭😭😭😭 wulfric is not going anywhere.

▪︎ wulfrics kinda the silly cameo like jeff. But except laszlo gets so humiliated everytime. He wants to just be like ok. ten minutes of insane sexual intercourse then youre gone. yea.

▪︎wulfric TOOOOTES calls laz leslie. IT DRIVES HIM INSANE. wulfric EVENTUALLY starts saying laszlo, but at first it was a joke.

▪︎ wulfric is a cute little hondura white bat because they look so fucking silly.

▪︎i cant think of any more rn but i wanna say nadja likes him. calls him a dandelion puff (thank you my pal bee) and mocks him then kindaaaaa gets used to him. this is my husband laszlo and his boyfriend wulfric. new besties.

WOOOOW THAT WAS SO MUCH. SORRY I LIKE. BLUSHES. GET ALL SILLY WHEN PPL WANNA KNOW ABOUT MY GUYS. i love wulfric. I made him about a month ago so im still working on him but hes an immediate favourite for me outta my ocs. hes so perfect. So cutie pie. This guy loves disco. He has a disco ball in his home.

[lustbile]

wat about a drabble inspired by that f2l hyuck hc u posted about a while back😁

Hmmmm okay so the only thing about that is I want to maybe (definitely) make a fic out of that so dunno if i should/could do a blurb about it as well. But I can do a f2l thing with Hyuck that’s a little different just because its haechan :] and I always want to do that

Warning: oral (reader receiving) and video game references because im dumb also this is 3.6k words. I am so sorry. 

——

——

——

“What about that guy from my calculus class?” you mutter, picking at your nails as you lean back against the cheap wood that made the headboard of Haechan’s bed. 

You had been sitting in silence with Haechan for a while now, the conversation about you being perpetually alone forever dying off naturally once the game he put on had finally finished loading. But even though his eyes were glued to his screen, your brain still moved almost as quickly as his fingers, and you were left to filter through every eligible man you’ve ever met as Haechan grunted at his screen. 

“Hrrmm?” Haechan lets out a sound of confusion, losing the original plot of the reason you came to pout in his dorm in the first place before it clicks again in his brain, “oh uh… to fuck or to date?”

“To fuck,” you scoff as if it’s obvious, standing and moving to sit at the end of his bed to be closer to his desk, “I don’t think that guy could last more than five minutes on a genuine date even if it I paid him.”

“You’re the last person that would have to pay someone to date them,” he unknowingly mumbles as he kills another player, an anguished scream coming through his headphones loud enough for you to hear. 

“Well I’m not getting any dates for free,” you huff, throwing your arms against the bed, trying to distract yourself from the way his words make your chest warm, even though you can tell from his slack jaw and glassy eyes that he didn’t even know he said the words himself. 

“What do you need a date for so bad anyways?” he finally clocks back into the conversation enough to ask in slight annoyance, “like being single is going to kill you or something?”

“I need a distraction,” you explain with your hands moving rapidly in front of you, hoping he’d take it as that without needing more explanation. 

“Distraction from what?”

You let out a small whine, choosing to stare petulantly at the side of his head with a pout instead of giving him an answer. You don’t want to say outright that you need a distraction from whatever weird crush you’ve started to develop on him specifically, actually you’d probably rather swallow his entire desktop than admit that, but you also would love for him to get some kind of hint. Whether that was a hint about how you feel or the fact that you don’t want to talk about it, you’re not sure. But you'd like him to get the hint quickly. 

“Haechan you’re so dumb,” you whine, letting yourself fall back onto the stiff mattress below you before dramatically kicking your feet. You hope your tone is drawn out enough that he doesn’t take it as a serious threat, but deep down you’re starting to think he really is dumb to not notice the way you’ve started drooling a bit when he changes in front of you or adjusts himself like you’re not there. 

That’s a memory that makes you cringe a bit. Yes, him changing in front of you makes some sense, the sight of his bare chest and long legs making you squirm as you try to be discreet when peeking over the top of your phone. But the times when your thighs squirm at the sight of him adjusting himself with his hand in his pocket, or just just actually grabbing his dick through his pants when he’s feeling shameless, those are the times you think you might just actually be a weirdo. 

But weirdo or not, Haechan seems to be oblivious, so it’s not like it matters in the grand scheme of things. 

Though speaking of obliviousness, Haechan thinks he might explode from the way you don’t notice his eyes. The way they dart over at you now, tense with his eyelids drooping with slight irritation. It’s a weird combination of feelings that builds in his chest, the heat from the way your shorts ride up your thighs and the annoyance that swirls in his belly from you suggesting the need for a date with someone that isn’t him. 

“Love you too,” he replies sarcastically, the words choking him more than he’d like to admit. He tries to ignore the way his online friends coo at him as if the words were meant for them, as he keeps you in his peripherals as you squirm around on his bed, hoping to see you react to his words in some kind of devine way. 

He turns the microphone away from his mouth before he speaks again, assuming the way your body twitches at his words was just a natural response to his sarcasm, “I don’t mean this as degrading as its going to sound,” he starts, his throat closing up at the words that swirl in his mind and his wish to say them in a way that is degrading and hot and just incredibly vulgar, “but are you really that desperate to be fucked?”

“Yes I am!” You shout, sitting up again and leaning forward enough to slap your hand on his desk, “I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve had sex, and it’s driving me up the wall.”

He’s never seen you like this. Of course he knows you get horny. You’ve been vocal about it more than once, unfortunately for him and his dick, but never to the extent that you’re borderline pitching a fit. Which, he doesn’t know that the reason you seem to be more unhinged than usual is actually purely because of him, but if he did know that would only add to his confusion. 

“I gotta go,” he mumbles into the microphone when he quickly pulls it back down, the match ending right after your outburst. He has to ignore the whining complaints of the guys on the other end of the speaker, because he decides that wherever this conversation goes, it’s going to require his full attention. 

“Is it really that bad?” He asks with an oddly sincere tone as he moves his headphones off his head, “you’re not usually the type to get this worked up about sex of all things.”

If it wasn’t for the soft look he gives you, like you’re some type of feral animal he’s trying to coax towards him, you probably would have diverted to more dramatics. But instead your chest just tightens because honestly, yes it is that bad. And he’s the one that caused it. 

Your feelings for him weren’t purely sexual, that would be too easy. You genuinely think you’re falling hopelessly for your best friend, but right now those feelings are all being concentrated purely at the space between your thighs, and you worry if you go any longer without something, you’ll end up jumping the boy that stares at you in amused concern. 

“Kind of,” you finally calm, leaning away slightly and staring down at your lap, “I just… I don’t know.”

“It can’t be that bad that you’re genuinely considering that dude from your calc class,” he laughs, trying to lighten the conversation like you’re upset about something real and not just from lack of dick, “not to be rude, but he isn’t really that cute.”

“You’re right, he’s not,” you sigh, feeling bad for talking about this random guy this way, “it’s just something stupid I guess.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” he says softly, turning and moving his gaming chair until he knees bump into yours as they drape over the end of his bed, “I’m your best friend man, if there’s something you need to get off your chest, then I’m all yours.”  

“I can’t Haechan,” your voice cracking slightly as you dodge the way he tries to lean down enough to catch your eye, “it’s stupid and weird and I don’t want it to bother you.”

He watches the way your hand cuts through the air sharply with every syllable, feeling bad for being so endeared by your motions even if you do them out of frustration, “I’m stupid and weird,” he says confidently with a grin, “you can’t shake me dude.”

“You’re not stupid,” you sigh, warming up when he laughs at your indirect agreement of him being weird, “I…. Okay maybe you are a little.”

“Why?!” He squawks with another laugh, leaning to grab your knees and shake you, “just because I said it doesn’t mean you can agree.”

“Because!” You laugh with a small pang of pain in your voice as you grab his forearms and shake him back, “there’s no way you’re this oblivious.”

You can feel it. The truth becoming too big for your chest to hold. You spent so much energy on being a menace to society, that you feel tired now, and even if it means your heart gets broken you can’t just keep lying in his bed and wallowing in your pity. It’s starting to feel just a degree too pathetic. 

“I don’t think it’s me being oblivious as much as it’s you being weird and vague,” he defends himself, choosing not to call you out for being the most oblivious person he’s met. This isn’t a pissing contest he decides, but he thinks if you two started comparing who’s more oblivious, you’d win in a heartbeat just from how you’ve never noticed how tightly wound he was around your finger. 

“Haechan, I came to you about this,” you start with your finger pushed into his chest, knowing that being even more vague is probably a dumb move, but you’re doing it regardless, “please don’t make me spell it out for you.”

He feels his mouth go instantly dry the moment you let the words leave your mouth, not wanting to believe what he hopes you’re implying. He thought you were begging the universe to do something, but the idea of you actually begging him to make a move was scrambling his brain. 

“You might have to spell it out,” he warns, hesitantly slipping his hands up your thighs. It feels like in that moment though, that he finally arrives on the same plane of existence as you, because for once he notices the way you tense from his touch, “if you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking, I don’t want to screw something up.”

It’s interesting seeing Haechan like this, not willing to take the upper hand. He’s usually the first to yell out, the first to claim the spot of being in charge, but when you glance up at him you only see his face plagued with apprehension and even a small streak of fear. 

It feels like someone set off a bottle rocket in your chest when you lean forward suddenly, a ratting gasp coming from his full lips when you’re suddenly only inches away from his face. His eyes are so soft you feel like you’re seeing him for the first time, and when you finally get the push in your chest to place your lips on his, it feels like you’re seeing heaven and hell at the exact same second. 

If there’s a small version of yourself controlling your mind, like so many silly pieces of media in your life tried to suggest, you’re sure the small version of yourself is spinning in circles in happiness when Haechan reaches to grab your face. His fingers push tightly against the back of your skull, and before you try and pinch yourself to make sure you’re awake, he lets out a pleased groan against your mouth. 

You feel like you’re both deer in one another’s headlights when he pulls away. His hands don’t move from the way they hold you, your own lift to wrap tightly around his wrists, and you just stare at one another like it’s the first time you’ve actually seen each other in your entire lives. 

“Just to fuck?” Haechan asks weakly with a cringe, his nerves getting the better of him and forcing his words to come out a lot less eloquent than he had ever intended if this moment ever came up. 

“It can just be a fuck if you want,” you nod softly, trying to not show the disappointment that flood your chest, but the dejected tone that coats your words hurts Haechan more than you could ever imagine. 

“I don’t want that,” he glances down at your lips, moving his thumb to push against your bottom lip as he tries to collect his thoughts, “I mean I do want to fuck, but I um… I’d also love to date.”

“We can date,” you nod, feeling more and more dazed the more he holds you, your body almost melting into a puddle on his sheets when your knees slot together and one of his presses closer to where your shorts bunch up at the apex of your thighs. 

“Cool,” he nods back, his own mind seeming to slip as you both keep holding on and nodding dumbly. 

There’s staring, and then there’s smiling, and then finally the tension breaks. His lips return to yours in a way that’s a lot more deliberate, a lot more needy and rough, and before you can ask anymore logistical questions, Haechan is moving from his chair to hover over you until you lay flat against the wrinkles sheets of his bed. 

“Always imagined how pretty you’d look laid out like this,” he mutters in your ear when he starts to trail his lips along your jaw, “just watching you sprawl out while I play games, the way you get all soft and comfortable. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of times I just wanted to grab you and destroy you.”

You gasp at the admission and how his hips press into yours as your body relaxes beneath him, “you should have,” you respond, your voice gravelly and weak, “you could have had your way with me whenever you wanted.”

The groan he lets out at your words vibrates through the muscles in the side of your neck, and the way his hips sink down until he grinds into you makes your head tilt back and your nails sink into the sides of his shoulders. He somehow zeros in on all the spots along your throat that makes your body shiver, and when he digs his teeth into the flesh at the bend of your shoulder, you can’t help but cry out. 

His hands are rushed in everything he does, wanting to figure everything out and get the answer before anyone else can, and you feel like his ultimate puzzle beneath his fingers. 

He shoves your shirt up until it bunches below your armpits, grinning like he’s gotten a cheat code when he sees you didn’t bother with any type of bra before wandering into his room, and you don’t even get a moment to try and pull the fabric off before his mouth latches to one of your nipples while he abuses the other with the tips of his fingers. 

“Haechan,” you sigh, a shiver rolling up your spine at the feeling of his moving lips and tongue. Your hand drifts up, brushing along his back and up until your fingers tangle in his hair. And when he nips at your skin, he sets off a chain reaction of your tugging roughly at his roots and him grunting in response. 

He grins so big when he pulls away, his face starts to ache. Getting you below him is a dream come true, and when he blows cool air on your still damp skin, it’s as if he’s testing to make sure you’re real and not just his hyperactive imagination. 

“Still desperate to get fucked?” He asks with a laugh, the typical cockiness returning to him now that he’s got you in the palm of his hand. 

“Please,” you hum. The clammy skin of your palm tugs on his hair as you smooth your hand up the curve of his skull, and once it lays flat on the top of his head you push gently, encouraging him with big glassy eyes to do something more than just lick at your chest. 

He nods in response, letting you move his head until he’s level with your hips. He takes your shorts off slowly, pulling your underwear along with them, and admiring the way they gradually expose your skin in the opposite way of how he usually gets to see flashes of your thighs. 

His head falls to push his forehead into your belly when you're fully exposed to his eyes, stopping your thighs from closing him out the way they instinctively flexed. Every second feels surreal to him, and the sight of your body’s response to just him, the amount of wetness that’s built between your thighs from his mouth on your skin, was enough to make him feel like he’s in a dream. 

He’s quick to move your thighs over his shoulders when you let out a quiet whimper, feeling perfectly at home at the way your flesh presses against his ears. He loves the way you chew at your bottom lip and the way you stare down at him in nervous anticipation. And he feels like he’s the only man in the world when he leans down to lay a small kiss on your clit and you let out a small shocked hiccup. 

“I can’t believe you came in here horny out of your mind, and I almost just let you wallow in it while I sat around playing games like an idiot,” he mutters, scolding himself while he moves his hand until he can slip his thumb against you. The way he just mindlessly stares at you dripping arousal as his digit dips into it and smears it around your clit makes you feel delirious, and the way he speaks like he has all the time in the world makes your fingers tense in his hair. 

“You’re letting me wallow in it now,” you remind with a bratty huff, trying to roll your hips closer to his face. 

“Poor baby,” he says with a wink, kissing up the side of your thigh softly, and letting you let out a few impatient whines before he moves his thumb and lays his tongue flat against you. 

Haechan had imagined tasting you more than his fair share of times. Imagining you seated on his face or spread out below him whether he was alone with his hand wrapped around himself or even when he was sitting mindlessly in a boring lecture. He hadn’t gotten past the guilt of thinking about his best friend like that, but he just couldn’t help the thought wandering in so frequently when it was probably the one thing he’d kill to do. 

But he didn’t have to kill, he’s learned. Finally taking the hint was the only thing he needed, and now with his tongue sinking shallowly inside you, he thinks he can stay with his tongue buried in you for the rest of his life. 

Haechan licks at you slowly, digging his tongue against your skin harshly and circling the end of his tongue quickly over your clit. His hands press into your stomach when you start to squirm too much for his mouth to control, and once you’re forcibly static against his lashings, he presses in deeper to see how far he can push you into a delirious pleasure. 

It doesn’t take much, your body anticipating his touch for so long that it’s only a matter of a few moments before your panting and gasping for breath. 

He licks at you like you're a dripping treat, savoring every taste he gets of you and groaning happily when your hips start gently rocking until you’re grinding against his warm tongue. He loves the smell you leave on his sheets and the way your arousal and his saliva mixes and drips onto his bed, and from the way you whine and try to curl into yourself, he knows you love the things he does to your body. 

You coming is the best thing his eyes have ever gotten to witness. The way your spine curves and the rough way you tug at his hair until his face is shoved tightly against your body making him work faster. Your mind is so gone with pleasure, that your body works against you, and he’s more than happy to take advantage when your overstimulated mind is too gone to push him away. 

The evidence of your orgasm is already coating the lower half of your face when you cry out, finally lifting your legs enough that he has to tug your thighs back down to keep you in place. And his mouth latching around your buzzing clit must be what finally pulls you back to earth, because you sit up as much as you can manage against his hold, with a wild look behind your eyes. 

“Hyuck,” you gasp with your voice shot and shredded, pushing gently against his shoulders with as much strength as you can manage from the way your entire body shakes from his unrelenting tongue, “I’m done. I’m done.”

He looks up quickly with a smile, one that looks like your best friend, but is worn by a newly formed demon you’ve never met. He remembers as he trails his eyes over your face, the way you were moaning about how horny and deprived you were before he found himself here, and he remembers the time that both of you wasted dancing around the truth that both of you hid. He remembers the times he only got to imagine this scenario, dreaming about how you tasted and squirmed, and all the remembering just makes him scoff. 

“I’m not.”

[broadwayandnetflix]

OMG- BO FIC REQUEST

a fluffy fic where he takes you out to a fancy dinner. picks you up at your house & meets your parents, driving to the place, all that pizazz- and more if you decide to write! Im a big fucking sucker for the romantics as you can see LMFAO.

Meet The Parents - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: Fluff! Slight bit of Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: picture this as like his what tour cause it fits up with the college timeline hoes. also, I hope you like that I added an airport, cause rom-com shit amirite? I’ll stop. wooooooo this is so long. I hope y’all like essays cause fuck.

It had been too long since you had last seen your boyfriend, Bo. The two of you had met in college at NYU briefly before he dropped out to pursue his comedy career.

Of course, you have been supportive. Why wouldn’t you be? You just really missed him, especially when he went on long tours, you in school, and him touring the world.

The two of you kept in touch. Bo often taking the time to call you before or after a show to hear your voice and call himself down. You knew what they did to his anxiety, and not being able to hold each other was difficult for the both of you.

He’d do the same for you, without a shadow of a doubt. Especially when school was stressing you out, and exams and essays were becoming a pain in the ass to handle. Even if it was just little funny texts or messages, he helped you.

It’s what you did for each other. You were a team, even if it was states away from each other. Except, luckily for you, his tour was ending soon. Or it should be, judging by the tiny calendar of dates that he gave you.

It was nearing Thanksgiving Break, and it just didn’t seem applicable that you’d be able to meet up in time. Given the short week window and Bo riding down from nearly a year of touring.

So you didn’t say much, as you packed your bags for the week and left for your home state.

The airplane ride wasn’t that bad. You wished that you had Bo beside you, cracking jokes to calm the inevitable way that your heart would jolt when you went up in the air. Unlike Bo, you absolutely hated flying.

Earbuds in, you strolled into the airport a tad bit jet-lagged and went to grab a bite from a small coffee shop. Slipping the cashier a twenty, you walked the airport in search of your luggage.

Through a sea of people, you trudged, already feeling fatigued and just wanting a nap. You didn’t even realize that you were gonna run smack dab into someone. That is until their hand shot up and held you steady.

You laughed pathetically and cringed quickly, going to apologize, hoping that the person who caught you would just keep moving on. Except, they still stood in front of you, silent as ever.

“Hey man look I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired I didn’t even see where I was going.” you mumbled before realizing just who you were speaking to.

Bo.

You froze, staring at the man in pure confusion. How was he here when he was supposed to still be on tour? You rubbed your eyes, wondering if he’d still be there when you reopened them.

News flash, Bo was still there. Fuck.

“Holy shit,” you murmured, realizing your hands were still full with your bag, phone, and lunch.

God, you were gonna cry; this wasn’t happening. He looked so fucking good, the glasses, the hair.

He watched you quietly, a soft smile resting upon his lips. While you clumsily pull on his arm to get out of the ongoing traffic of people around you, preferably a spot with a place to put your stuff.

Your tall boyfriend lumbering after you unbeknownst to you, trying to compose himself. It had practically been months since he had seen you last, and you had never looked more beautiful.

Once you set them down gently, you practically ran into the man’s arms. His bags gently fall to the floor as his arms are securely wrapped around you. Nearly lifting you off the ground.

The two of you rocked gently in the embrace, completely lost in each other. Bo resting his head on top of yours, pressing soft kisses upon your head. Tears softly pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. Giving him enough time to wipe them away and plant a soft kiss against your lips.

“Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still on tour.” you sniffled, still wrapped up in his arms.

“Managed to make things work, I wanted to see you. Or I was gonna try and surprise you at the gate, but you kinda…ran into me.” Bo smirked, looking down at you.

“Well you definitely surprised me, man I really missed you.” you said quietly.

“Honey, you don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this moment. I swear my agents are probably sick and tired of me talking about you.” he exclaimed, causing you to smile.

This long-distance was really starting to get to the two of you; of course, his tour was gonna be over soon. Except, especially two different states away from each other, it made your heart hurt.

Moments like these, you wanted to just pause the time and exist in them forever. It seemed like between the two of you, you were running out of time. Just how much time exactly?

It was almost as if he could sense the hesitation as he swept up his bags and yours in the process.

“Just realized, we’ve got places to be.” he chirped, and you eyed him curiously.

“Like where?” you said, grabbing your coffee and bag from the coffee shop.

“Patience is a virtue my dear.” he tuts and slips his hand between yours. “Now, where’s your luggage terminal?”

-

It was roughly a forty-minute drive from the airport to your place. Bo had rented a car for the next couple of days, so it was smooth sailing from that point on.

Bo behind the wheel, and you are sitting in the passenger trying to figure out what music to play.

It didn’t help that you were in the car with a comedian, as whatever song you picked, Bo would pretend to critique it. Only sending you into a fit of hysterics.

“Oh okay, well you pick the music then!” you cried, pretending to stare daggers at him.

“I’ve got something for you, it’s this brand new artist I found while on tour.” he grinned, looking over at you briefly before focusing back on the road.

“His name is….Bo Burnham I think? I could be wrong? He was good-“ he said nonchalantly before earning a quick swipe to his arm from you.

“God, you look cute when you’re angry. You’re missing out on that Bo Burnham guy, he’s got potential.” he said.

“I hate you.” you giggle before finding a more comfortable position in the car.

“Oh shit you know what I just realized?” Bo yelped, causing you to slightly jolt in your seat.

“What?”

“Isn’t this the first time I’m meeting your parents?” he asked, causing you to slightly stiffen in your seat.

Technically, yes. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know, it’s more so that there was never really a good time for them to meet. You wondered what they’d think, dating someone who dropped out of college to pursue comedy.

Not that your parents were judgmental. They wanted you to be happy, as any parents would. You just were worried if they wouldn’t respect and love Bo as much as you did. It had been close to two years at this point; what else did you have to lose?

“You are right, oh dear god. I wonder how that’s gonna go, hopefully well, right?” you ask, more so to yourself than Bo.

“Oh please, I’m great with people’s parents. Plus, they raised you, I’m sure they are great people. Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he reassured before continuing on the route.

-

It wasn’t long before he pulled into your family driveway, pulling the car into park, quickly placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“You ready?” he says quietly, looking at you sweetly.

You eyed the front door before looking back and meeting his eyes, nodding, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.

God, you missed those.

“Here goes nothing.” you smirk before slipping out of the passenger side and gather your bags.

Bo now follows suit as you knock on the door, his taller frame towering over you. One hand pressed on the small of your back, holding you steady.

The front door opens with a swing, with your mother greeting you at the door. A firm grin upon her lips as she rushes out to hug you, your father appearing behind her.

“Oh I’m so glad you were able to come home! We missed you so much!” she exclaims, squeezing you tighter.

Before giving you a slight nudge and knowing look towards Bo, who had remained oblivious, while he shook hands with your father.

All of you gather inside your house, Bo taking control of the conversation when acceptable.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, your parents are engulfed in his stories and laughing at his jokes. All the while getting to know the man that you loved so much.

Bo was pretty much a natural when it came to impressing others, and you knew it wasn’t gonna be an issue with your parents.

The two of you answering almost any questions, Bo excitingly telling the story of how the two of you met.

-

“Oh I almost forgot, I need you to do me a favor.” Bo murmured when the two of you had a moment to be alone.

You looked up at him in confusion before he mentioned something about dressing up nice. A knowing look upon his lips before giving you a slight wink and walking off towards the guest room.

There you stood, gaping like a fish in wonderment at what he possibly could be planning. Slowly walking into your childhood bedroom, looking for anything that would meet his description of nice.

You settled for something that you wore to a formal gathering that still managed to fit you. Giving yourself a quick look in the mirror, you left your bedroom to find Bo standing there.

You had to hold back a gasp; the man looked rather handsome in a dress shirt and pants. His hair was nicely done, and his hand gestured out for you to take.

“Bo what is all this for?” you exclaim, as he only smirks and leads you towards the front door.

“Shut up, I’ve been wanting to take you out for months.” he says as he opens it and leads you towards his car.

The man practically doing the whole nine yards, all the while you looking at him in pure wonderment. Of course, the two of you had been on dates prior, but never like this.

You had to practically stop yourself from grinning as he suavely got into the driver’s side of the car., Giving a quick glance over at you unbeknownst to you, trying not to melt at how gorgeous you looked.

“Where are we going?” you ask as he starts the car slowly pulling out of the driveway.

“You ask a lot of questions my dear.” he says, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“Oh shit is this my execution?” you smirk as he dramatically nods.

“Babe, how the hell did you find out? Who told you? Was it my manager? I knew she’d rat me out!” he exclaims.

“You know I had to be certain, you did make me dress up all nice and all.” you play along, grinning ear to ear.

“Oh well, I can’t give away the entire surprise so zip it with the questions sweetie.” he quips as he continues the drive.

-

It’s not long before he pulls into a fancy Italian restaurant, way out of your usual pay range. You could feel your stomach do somersaults, giving the man an incredulous look.

Bo simply grins as he gets out of the car, rushing over to open yours for you. Eyes wide, still staring at him like he was fucking insane. He shakes his head and carefully pulls you out of the car.

“Now no complaints. Or whatever you plan to do. I’m paying, I’ve been wanting to treat you like this for over a year now. I’m doing it, and I’m gonna enjoy doing it.” Bo huffs, all dignified.

You simply nod in disbelief before he slips his hand within yours. While he enters the restaurant, he mentions his reservations to the hostess, and they seat you at a table.

Once the butterflies subsided in your stomach, you took the attention of the man in front of you. Never had anyone done something like this for you. You were trying to not look like a genuine fool with the smile you wanted to express.

You knew he was the one for you, but the way that he had looked at you. The pure adoration in his eyes and how he had planned everything, you were practically melting.

“I love you.” you whisper, wondering if he could hear it.

He did.

Bo looked up from his menu, a blush now practically kissing his cheeks. He dimples, rising at the declaration before reaching across the table since he was large enough to kiss you gently.

He was quick enough as the waitress came over to take your order. That goofy lovesick grin still plastered across his face as he straightened up in his seat.

The two of you ordering whatever looked best on the menu, clinking glasses when they arrived and looking dreamily into each other’s eyes.

“Man, I missed you. Like I know I say it a lot, but I mean I did. Going on tour is….well it’s lonely. I know you’re still in school, but sweetie. When I’m done, you’ll be sick of me. I promise.” Bo said insistently.

“No I won’t, I’m sure it’s gonna be the other way around. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I really am proud of you. I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, to call you mine. I don’t mind waiting.” you say quietly.

“How did I get so lucky?” he paused, eyeing the plates of food that were coming your way.

“Thank NYU, they did all the work.” you joke, thanking the waitress before digging into the meals.

The food was excellent; it was incredibly worth the price. Even if it was steep, the dinner was lovely. Bo is cracking jokes and telling you his favorite fan encounters that have occurred since his tour began.

It was hard to believe that the man who was often so quiet and shy could be so loud and brave enough to yell at hecklers. Except you could believe it, you had obviously been to one of his shows.

It made your heart begin to flutter at the fact that he wasn’t afraid to be himself around you; it made you feel secure.

The way his stage presence dominated the scene, it was practically impossible to keep your eyes off of him. No matter the situation.

Even now, his eyes glimmer while he tells you whatever story he had dug up. This was his passion, and you reveled in it all.

The night went well as the two of you caught up, knowing it would be quite some time before he’d meet up with you again. As he too had Thanksgiving to celebrate with his family in Massachusetts.

You shared a nice dessert, and he left a rather hefty tip simply because he could. Bo never made it necessary to note that he had money, but you knew he was excited to spend it.

All the while, you spent the night in a dizzying smile. Not giving a shit whether anyone knew it or not, even in the parking lot. The two of you waltzing messily towards the car, giggling and sputtering like a bunch of fools.

He was your fool, and you were his, who knew how long you’d have with him for now. You were destined to make the most of it.

Even as the ride home dwindled and you knew he’d have to catch a flight soon. You weren’t surprised or shocked even; days with him tended to be like this.

As the two of you reached your front door, Bo carefully leaned down to a comfortable position and kissed you softly. Not desperately, just tenderly. As if by the time he’d kiss you again, you’d simply wouldn’t be there.

His lips grazing yours, hands pressed carefully against your cheeks. You reciprocating all the while leaning into him in a warm embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, he gave you a look that you knew all too well.

“I’m not saying goodbye.” you whisper into his arms.

“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” he murmurs into your embrace.

With one last kiss on the forehead, you watch as he walks back to his car. Judging by the way his schedule worked, you knew he’d be back sooner than he would in the past.

Yet, with the soft ‘I love you’ said between the two of you couldn’t help but shed a tear and just hope that the next time would last longer.

[iwadori]

Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -  

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.

[firebuug]

for the weird questions for writers thing: obligatory 6 9 4 and 20 bc funny. but for like actual questions 17 and 18

do not test me i will answer them all. my answers r below the cut LOL

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

tbh? that people read it and go “oh. uh. this is uh. cringe” or that they totally read it thru the wrong lens. like if someone looked at a piece where i poured my inner anxieties and feelings into and they went “wow so they just wanted this character to be whiny for a sec huh.” bc tbh in the end ya thats what it is its a silly character saying funny thing but also like i never ever do that. if i do that and SHOW U that writing then i am trusting you with my life and my cringe and my life essence a—

also just being obviously inexperienced lol. i dont write professionally and dont intend to its just for funzies but am still self conscious anywayz

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

yes ever since i was little i tried to let any ghost who may live in my house know i am its friend by sticking my foot out before bed and promising i wouldnt tell anyone if they could read my mind. my aunts had a haunted house and they went full investigator mode and somehow came to the conclusion it was their relative who wanted a last birthday party, so they threw a party for the ghost and all poltergeist activity stopped in their house

also related to writing but my friend’s WIP rn is literally titled He Doesn’t Believe In Ghosts

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

ive been writing the word Prestidigitation a lot bcuz dnd and i fucking HATE THAT WORD i cant even pronounce it i hate it die die die. also medival or mideival or whateve rthe fuck its spelled i hate that word

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

. ok so im not a big writer so the only wips ive got goin on are a self indulgent band au psychoanalysis piece, a hypothetical comic con murder mystery and the forever cancelled zombie apocalypse story i wrote from elementary to middle school w my ocs. and tbh i would kill to see the comic con murder mystery completed just to read it myself so i would take that offer. but also it isnt a WIP but if i could have that witch rewrite the juggernaut event for me as the epic cinematic arpg video and writing combination thing i pictured it as id give her my life

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

UM um well. i dont have any plot for murder mystery and my band au is just. oc story that i can ramble about whenever but . my zombie apocalypse was the funniest shit. i played this for serious and i love how apeshit my imagination was back then. the lore was that a zombie virus happened bc the ceo of an evil company’s fail brother locked himself underground on accident and in the period which he was stuck in there tried to make himself a friend. but it corrupted and became a zombie and killed him and escaped. and the world got so bad that the scientists found a planet and named it Earth 2 and everyone got on there except for a bunch of everyday average people including our cast. and now. they r forced to survive. i published it frequently on deviantart journals and still have it on my google drive, sometimes i used to read it to get inspired to make apeshit stories for fun, but i havent in a while

8. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

does. does this mean like a snippet from my own writing? UHH a lot of my writing is oc stuff that i work into their stories but let me try and pull up something old that actually has a chance of having backstory to it HAHAJK

ok all i found was this from a Splatoon writing which i thot was funny because of the context of Buggy seeing a totally abandoned, empty subway station and still INSISTING on not hopping the ticket scanner or whatever. help. like i dont have any commentary i just wanted u to see this. :

“Just hop over it,” he remembered Skuggy telling him, “nobody cares.” Buggy felt too bad about it, though, and got him to lend him his old card anyways. He reached into his pockets for the said card and stuck it into the slot. The little dusty screen on top of the gate showed a little spinny loading circle before a light shone green and he was let in.

whatever. anyways instead ill spit fun fax about the juggernaut story writing event arpg thing bc i um. i um. i . i. i . @im-hiding22 its bad compared to my writing now but it was sillyfun

- i did not actually intend for buggy to kill farrow i intended for it to be a fake-out and for farrow to scramble to life right when the juggernaut approached or whatevs. but when all my friends went insane like he did die i thought “wouldnt it be funny if he died fr”

- i was intending on mendel to be the first death under the jugg’s hands because itd be cool for the creation to get revenge in its creator and for the story to be everyone trying to fix mendel’s mistakes themselves and possibly bring him back. but i could not imagine anything thatd reverse his mistakes in a satisfying way so i scrapped and rewrote it

- literally only wrote the stupid loredump radio broadcast cuz i had finished reading the nightvale novel

- 80% of the most fun i had from that and the most story-impacting decisions came from my friends sending asks, and seeing my friends actively wanting to participate and speculate on something i was writing was literally the most touching thing i have ever felt in my life. im reliving that high by running a dnd campaign in which now i can focus on telling my friends’ stories and intertwining them with my own

ok bye. this was 3 years long, im giving you a brownie if you read this far because youre incredible! all of the old writing i posted here can be found under the ;writing hashtag which will be tagged here :D if u. ever wanna see cringe splatoon or town of salem oc fanfic LOLL

[woodsteingirl]

samael!! since you’re my official natm mutual, i’m so compelled to ask: do you have a natm oc/character [or multiple!] and if so….if you have any descriptions of them, I’d love that <3

SO sorry this took me a minute omg. went through a moment where i thought i was really cringe (im over it now <3) but yeah i have a few!!! im going to pick my favorites and tell you their descriptions. some of these are from my own planning notes so apologies if they’re a little incomprehensible 💙🦋🌀🪁

Natanaël Auclair: he’s from the french revolution diorama and is named because I'm obsessed with the ae sound AND I love a good accent mark. He was an orator who wrote pamphlets in his real history life. He comes from an upper-middle-class area, so he’s pretty well educated. sort of obsessed with the classics both as a life model and a political model. almost Voltaire-esque because I want him to be sort of a philosophy guy too. In addition to the overall crisis of his situation, you could throw a weird relationship with religion in there too. make him more fucked up. He’s quite taken with the meditations of Marcus Aurelius as well as the works of Spinoza. He comes off as stuck up to almost everyone he meets, but this is just passion for what he does that comes off as condescending. Almost ADHD core in that regard. Gay? I think so. He’s like the Sartre of the French Revolution. (lie.) MAKES HIM A DETERMINIST THEN DIES OF HAVING TO THINK ABOUT DETERMINISM.

Octavia Antonina: This is Octavius’s daughter I can’t imagine she’s more than in her early 20s to late teens, her depiction probably comes from like a few years after Octavius’s, assuming the history is coming from the same texts. Tacitus’s the life of Agricola situation if you will. She probably died relatively young or not long after her figure is set. I’d give it another 5-10 years. Probably of consumption, Antonine plague, tuberculosis, etc, etc. from experience, I’d say she has every right to be pissed out of her mind. First, she’s willed to be conscious in this wacko land about 2000 years from when she was alive, THEN she has to reconcile with her absent father who is now THEE number one person in charge so there’s not anyone else you can go to. She's sort of normal at first (angry in her own right but whatever) but as she starts remembering specific events that happened while she was alive, I imagine she becomes more insane mental. By the end, she’s settled and gotten used to the whole thing, but it’s a journey, not a sprint, so she’s still dealing with everything. She’s grappling if you will.

Christine “Lottie'' Madden: a woman from the progressive era area who is like. super outspoken in her opinions, she’s probably not necessarily well-liked by the majority of people around her. she’s probably one of the first people Octavius meets from outside of his area, she’s gay, also. she’s stuck the neighborhood of stuck up rich people in this life at least for the time being. she’s not afraid to say exactly what she thinks and this gets her almost banned from all social events going onward, she’s not, on the condition of they’re going to be there forever and ever and it sort of adds drama. oh, the queer history of the woman’s suffrage movement is sooo interesting okay. MAYBE I set her up with the lady from the French revolution area. I think that would be fun. I also think she’s pissed off all the time and is constantly internally judging people.

Inès Descombs: She’s also from the French Revolution area! I named her because I'm obsessed with Inez from No Exit so I’m making her existentialism core because of this. Henceforth she does NOT agree with Natanaël on the subject of free will, she’ll go to her grave defending it. she’s not As educated as Natanaël, but she was still taught philosophy and literature by her father, since she also grew up relatively well off. maybe she writes a pamphlet or two under a pen name. I'd LOVE to set her with Lottie from the other area, like two revolutionary women, who aren’t taken as seriously as their male counterparts but are still fighting for what they believe in regardless. lesbianism omg. She’s a fiery spirit who has overcome being belittled by being openly intellectual and not attempting to mask her opinions. She doesn’t idolize classical society like Natanaël, but she is familiar with the history. I think she was part of the Women’s March on Versailles.

[cherrybracelets]

Heat Waves

weed dealer!mgg x reader 

masterlist | requests

word count: 5.5k | warnings: 18+ content! drugs and alcohol mentions and usage. no smut but partying!

summary: your brother has a new roommate, and fuck, you might be in love with him? 

song inspo : heat waves - glass animals 

an: this gif is how i imagine him in this fic like w glasses but way less nerdy ahahha ok well whatever idk if im gonna continue this or just leave it as is lmk what yall think ok byeee

You stumbled up the steps of the subway, the heavy cardboard box you were holding slipping out of your hands as you made your way above ground. You tried to adjust your grip on it and almost fell backwards, shaking your head in frustration. The box was filled with all the random shit your brother had left at your place over the past few months as he was trying to find a place to live, sleeping on different couches of random friends. It was almost all useless stuff, which made the fact that you had to hand deliver it all to him even more frustrating.

You walked tirelessly down the street, gripping harshly on to the box. You pushed your way through people, not caring at all that you probably looked insane as you yelled for people to move so you could just get there and fucking put this box down. You finally came upon the building, sighing with relief as you set the box on the steps and rang the buzzer.

“I’m here,” you groaned into the speaker, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand.

“Hello!” A cheery voice responded over the intercom. A voice that was definitely not your brothers. “Who exactly is here?”

“Oh, sorry- I might have the wrong apartment. Is this 4B?”

“Yeah! You must be Danny’s sister. Come on up.” The door buzzed loudly as it unlocked, and you grabbed onto the handle quickly, lugging in the box behind you. You were extremely grateful when you saw the elevator, quietly thanking the universe that you didn’t have to walk up four flights of stairs with this thousand pound box.

You took the elevator up to the fourth floor, your body exhausted as you leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath. You closed your eyes, hoping that maybe a five second nap could give you your energy back. But unfortunately, the elevator stopped and opened its doors, urging you to once again pick up the box and be on your way. You dropped your head to the floor and sighed, using the last of your energy to pick up the box and walk down the long hallway to apartment 4B.

Thankfully the apartment wasn’t too far from the elevator, and you only had a short walk until you came upon the door of his new place. You noticed a welcome mat on the floor that read ‘Bachelor Pad’, and you rolled your eyes at the pure douchiness of the thing. God, your brother was a prick. But, nevertheless, you loved him, he was family. Despite being one of the most annoying people you’d ever met.

You knocked slowly on the door, excited to throw the box into someone else’s arms and run home. It was your day off from work, and all you wanted was to throw on some sweats, eat frozen mac and cheese and watch Jeopardy until you fell asleep on the couch. The perfect day.

The door swung open, and the man who was definitely not your brother stood on the other side, a large smile plastered across his picture perfect face. His messy curls hung across his face, and he pushed them away before reaching out to you to grab the box.

“Let me get that for you,” he said quietly, literally lifting the weight off your shoulders as he grabbed it effortlessly. The muscles in his arms protruded as he set the box down on an old dining table they had set up in the kitchen, a cluster of mismatched chairs along with it.

“Thanks,” you said back, your eyes still trailing over his body, watching him closely. “Is, uh, is my brother here?” You stuttered to get your words out, your eyes still locked on the model-like man in front of you.

“No, he just ran out actually. Went to pick up a couch or something.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. He told me he would be here!” You shook your head in annoyance, crossing your arms over your chest, which pushed out your cleavage slightly. You caught the man glancing at your breasts, and felt your heart start beating a bit faster. He wasn’t even trying to the fact that he was staring at you. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. He really was supposed to be here to get this.”

“It’s not a problem at all. He told me you’d be stopping by. I’m Matt, by the way. I’m sure he’s told you about me.” He stuck out his hand, and you reached back and grabbed it. His hands were soft, but the tips of his fingers stained black, the familiar site of a smoker. The air hung the smell of stale pot smoke, so it was pretty easy to put together that he was a heavy weed guy. 

“I’m (Y/N). And, uh, no, actually. He hasn’t told me, like anything about you. Just that he knows you from work and you’re a ‘pretty decent guy’,” you laughed, letting go of his hand but desperately wanting to hold on to it forever. You didn’t really understand why, but something about his touch was so comforting, it made you feel like coming home after a long day.

“Uh, I was just about to smoke a bowl actually, if you’d like to join. Your brother told me you smoke,” Matt said, motioning to the coffee table covered in various paraphernalia.

“I don’t make a habit of smoking with strangers,” you responded sharply, realizing immediately how bitchy you must’ve sounded and wishing you could take it back. You scrunched your face a bit, cringing as you replayed the sentence over and over in your head.

“But I’m not a stranger! I’m Matt! Besides, this is fantastic stuff- I just got it from my guy the other day, knocks your socks off,” he giggled, his eyes wide as he wanted to desperately for you to say yes.

“Well, I guess I really can’t say no to free weed,” you shrugged, following him over to the old couch they had set up in their under furnished living room. It was exactly how you pictured your brothers apartment to look- disappointing and not at all coordinated.

“Sorry about the place, we’re trying to make it look nice but we’re not exactly interior decorators.” He shook his head as he looked around the room, before picking up his freshly packed bowl and lighting it.

“Yeah, it looks pretty frat-housey in here. I would expect more from you, but not from my brother,” you giggled, taking the glass pipe from Matt’s hands and enjoying it yourself.

“Why me?”

“Well... I don’t know...” you stuttered, shaking your head and trying to pull together a sentence. “You just seem to have... more style, I guess. Seem more put together.”

“I appreciate that. I do try extremely hard to not look like a douche.” He smiled kindly at you, his eyes shining with the reflection of the lighter as the two of you continued to share the bowl.

You made small talk for a bit, feeling the calm of the marijuana taking over your body. The old couch suddenly became much more comfortable as you sunk back into it, staring at the patterns on the ceiling. Matt was talking quietly behind you, trying to tell some story about him and your brother; but you were only half listening, losing yourself in your own thoughts of him. Thinking about the softness of his lips as he inhaled and exhaled, watching his hands flex tireless to work the lighter, noticing how his body seemed to relax more and more with each hit.

He tilted his head towards you, flicking the lighter with his thumb and escaping in the flame. He had lost himself in it, a comfortable silence coming down over the room. You watched the flame, too, trying to see whatever beauty he saw in it- but you weren’t feeling anything, and getting pretty antsy. You turned away from him, staring into the kitchen and hoping to see something edible from this distance. You weren’t sure what kind of food two men like this would bring into their home, but you were sure it was nothing good. Your stomach grumbled at the thought of something to eat, and you fell back into the couch with a groan.

“You okay?” Matt whispered, turning his face towards you and staring at your eyes.

“Mhmm,” you responded, not having the energy to respond at the moment.

“You are extremely beautiful,” he mumbled, his eyes exploring your face, finding themselves locked on your lips no matter how hard he tried to look away.

“What?” You snickered, replaying the words in your head, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be weird. It’s just shocking to me how beautiful you are. Like a piece of art; I can’t take my eyes away.”

“You’re joking.” You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his arm playfully, trying to hide the obvious delight in your face.

“Why do you think I’m joking?”

“I just don’t hear that very often.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.” He frowned, looking down at his hands and playing with his over bitten nails.

“Sorry, I mean, I appreciate it of course. Fuck, sorry, I get so awkward when I’m high. Not very good at holding conversations.”

“Well, now that we’re friends I’ll make sure to remind you how beautiful you are as often as I can.” Matt placed his hand on yours lightly, at first only as a friendly touch, but feeling a comfort in the embrace. His thumb moved slowly, the small movement between your flesh overwhelming you with desire. Your eyes were locked on his, an intoxicating silence overcoming the room. You opened your mouth to speak, not sure exactly what to say, but the sound of the door unlocking breaking you from your daze. You pulled your hand away from his quickly and jumped off the couch, watching as the door opened and your brother walked in.

“Heyo!” Danny, your brother yelled, greeting the two of you with a large smile. “I see you’ve met my sister!”

“Yes, uh, yeah. We were just chatting,” Matt said defensively, trying to avoid eye contact with you.

“I was just waiting for you to get back. That’s all.” You responded, nodding your head quickly.

“How sweet! Just in time to help me get the new couch up!”

“Absolutely not. I brought your box, that's all the free labor you are getting out of me.” You laughed awkwardly, looking back at Matt, who was still avoiding you.

“Alright, whatever, but don’t ever ask me for anything ever again.” Danny rolled his eyes, throwing his phone down on the counter and grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

“Well, I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow night for my party?” You asked, heading towards the door.

“Oh, right! I almost forgot. Is it cool if I bring Matt?” 

You looked at Matt, who finally looked back at you, and you nodded slowly.

“Of course. I’ll see you guys then.” You smiled at the two of them, gave a small wave and left, closing the door loudly behind you. Fuck. What the fuck was that? Was he flirting with you? Or was he just high? You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the wall, trying to compose yourself before heading home.

***************

There was nothing that stressed you out more than when your roommate threw her chaotic ‘get togethers’ every other Friday at your place. It was always an exhausting mess, and now you had to think about Matt coming along as well. You hadn’t stopped thinking about your weird intimate moment together, and the thought of seeing him again made your stomach do backflips.

There was something about him that made you feel so comfortable, so at home. But he’s friends with your brother... he has to be a scumbag. Right? And what kind of guy just walks around telling random girls they’re beautiful. He was definitely just trying to sleep with you. Which of course you wanted to sleep with him too, obviously. But he was the kind of guy that you could find yourself falling for, and getting hurt, badly. He was the kind of guy that would break your heart. You could tell. And you could not let him in, no matter how much you wanted to.

Tonight has to be all about ignoring him. You cannot let him be alone with you, because the moment he’s alone with you and starts calling you beautiful again with his pretty face and intoxicating voice and touching your hand... you were playing a dangerous game. You closed your eyes and let out a deep sigh, trying to push the thoughts of him out of your head when you were interrupted.

“What are you doing? I told you to get the cups set out like 20 minutes ago!” Your roommate rolled her eyes, pushing you to the side and laying out the cups herself.

“Sorry, Callie. Just a bit distracted today.”

“I can tell. What’s going on with you? You were weird all night last night.”

“Just tired I guess. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go set the drinks out.” You walked away quickly, hoping she would be too focused on her party planning to ask any more questions. Whenever you told her about a new guy, she was stupidly optimistic. And you really didn’t need her telling you to go for it when your brain was giving you the exact opposite advice. She just shrugged, turned around and went back to mindlessly setting up. You felt relief wash over you as she looked away, and you could once again get lost in your own thoughts and anxieties.

You mindlessly laid cups and other dumb decorations out, Matt’s face continuously crossing your mind. You found yourself smiling every time you played his words over in your head. His voice like silk as it wrapped around your body, warmth flowing through you as his lips whispered ‘You are extremely beautiful’ over and over again. You felt your heart racing, and you took a deep breath as you were brought back into reality by the vibration of your phone in your pocket.

You grabbed it, only to see you had multiple missed calls from your brother. ‘Fuck’, you thought. He knew, he somehow knew about your little flirt session with Matt. You shook your head in distress, preparing for the oncoming conversation as you reluctantly pressed the answer button and brought the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?” You muttered, squeezing your eyes shut to bear the impending rage from your brother.

“Jesus, I've called you like 18 times? What’s your deal?” He laughed, his voice full of his normal light and cheery tone. You took a sigh of relief after you realized he didn’t know a thing.

“Sorry, uh, helping Callie set everything up. Must’ve put my phone down and forgot it somewhere.”

“Well I need to know what liquor and illegal substances you’d like me to bring tonight- I’ve only got like an hour!” He said urgently.

“Uh, honestly whatever you want. We’ve got a few bottles here but nothing you’d like, probably.”

“You sound distracted, you all good?” You could head the concern in his voice, and you rolled your eyes aggressively.

“Everyone keeps asking me that today and it’s pretty annoying. I’m just trying to set up a party I don’t really want to be involved in and everyone keeps bothering me!”

“Jesus, grumpy pants. Looks like someone needs a nap... or a blunt.” Danny laughed quietly, and you bit your tongue to stop yourself from yelling at him again.

“Sorry. On edge today. Don’t want to talk about it.”

“No worries. I’ll see you later, okay? Try and cheer up a bit by then, I’d like to make a good impression on Matt.” Danny hung up quickly after that, and the word ‘Matt” kept ringing in your head over and over like a church bell. You put your phone down on the table and looked up at Callie, who was adjusting your work on the cups table.

“I need a drink,” you groaned.

“A little pregame shot, I love it!” She squealed, prancing over to the bottles and pouring shots for the two of you. You downed yours quickly, letting the liquor burn through your insides. You were hoping, after enough of it, it would burn through any thoughts you had of him. 

After another shot, the next hour before the guests arrived flew by. Callie put on some music and you danced your worries away, deciding which outfit to wear by rampaging through your closet. You kept fighting the urge to look as sexy as possible, one half of you wanting Matt’s jaw to drop as soon as he saw you, and the other half wanting him to ignore you all night. You couldn’t resist the temptation, though, and chose an extremely well fitting and low cut dress that accentuated all of your best features perfectly.

“God, you are literally the perfect specimen,” Callie giggled as you walked out of your room to show off. “Who the fuck are you trying to impress?”

“No one!” You responded, raising your eyes at her. “Can’t I just look good for myself?”

“Not that good. That is for someone. I know you.” You were saved by the ringing of your doorbell, and you smiled, relieved.

“Whatever you say. Go welcome your guests,” you motioned to the door. Callie just rolled her eyes and walked gleefully over to the entryway to welcome your first partygoers.

A few more groups of people rolled in, and you paid no attention as you were too busy making yourself another strong drink. You poured sloppily into the cup, giggling as splashes of soda and vodka spilled down the sides of your cup.

“You better watch out there, pretty girl. Making quite a mess.”

You turned around quickly, Matt’s voice making you jump in surprise.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled brightly, his perfect face begging to be touched, adored, kissed. You looked at every part of him, every beautiful part of him, stuttering to get words out.

“No... you’re... it’s okay. Sorry.” You put the bottle back down on the table and picked up your cup, taking a large swig, and nearly gagging on the taste of the strong liquor.

“Can I get in there and make a drink?” His eyes travelled up and down your body, his lips slightly pursing at the sight of you. You felt your heart pounding through your chest and he eyed you. His eyes finally locked on yours, his gaze paralyzing, your body refusing to move.

“Of course. We have lots of options. Anything you want,” you managed to squeak out, still unable to draw yourself away from his gaze. His eyes didn’t leave yours, and he smiled slightly, reaching his hand out to grab a bottle. For a split second you thought he was reaching out to touch you, and when you thought about the feeling of his skin on yours, you felt yourself melt. Desire and craving washed over your body in a wave that you couldn’t push away even if you tried.

“Thank you. I’ll see you around, (Y/N).” He finally looked away, and began walking back towards the small group of people who had gathered in your living room, including Callie and your brother. You felt relief as you were able to breath again, your body relaxing as he got farther and farther away. You waited a few moments before following him to join the rest of your friends.

“Ah, there you are, my sister!” Danny yelled, wrapping you in his arms so abruptly that you almost spilled your drink everywhere.

“Hey bud!” You hugged him back, grateful to have someone here to take your mind off of Matt.

“We were just about to play a fun little ice breaker game, since Matt is new to the group and all,” Danny motioned to Matt, who smiled and waved awkwardly as everyone stared at him.

“An ice breaker, really? What is this, college orientation?” You joked, taking another swig of your intensely strong drink.

“Shut up. Don’t be such an ass.” Danny rolled his eyes and pointed to an empty seat, and you realized it wasn’t worth fighting him. He loved to play stupid little games like this, that everyone else dreaded. But you have to admit, everyone always ended up having fun at the end of the day.

“What’s the game, Danny boy?” Callie cooed, getting comfy on the couch between a few of your other friends. She always had the biggest crush on him, although you forbid her from ever getting near him. It wasn’t her, you loved her and would love it even more if she was your sister. But he was such a dick, you knew he would break her heart, and you would not stand for that.

“Easy, everyone shares one surprising fact about themselves.”

“Oh god, I don’t think I have any,” someone moaned, and Danny just laughed.

“No worries, plenty of time to think. I can start. Uh.... I slept with my professors wife in college as revenge for him giving me a C- on my final.” Danny smiled proudly and took a long swig of beer. The group around you just groaned in disgust and laughed, but you knew the story. That wasn’t the entirety of it at all, in fact, Danny had fallen desperately in love with this woman and she crushed his heart by choosing her husband over him. But he would never tell all of that, because that doesn’t sound cool. Apparently you weren’t the only one who knew the truth, though, because Matt instinctively turned to you and looked at you in a way that read, ‘This guy is so full of shit.’ Apparently Matt and your brother were closer than you though, if he told him his biggest secret. 

“Hmm, Matt, I think you should be next. Only fair since you’re the new guy.” Danny turned to Matt with an excited face, like a little kid on christmas.

“Oh man, alright. Well, I guess one thing that people have a hard time believing about me is that I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. I believe in soul mates, love at first sight. All of that bullshit. I’m a sucker for it.” Matt looked right at you as the words spilled out of his mouth, not even trying to hide the obviousness of what he was trying to say. You tried your best to look away from him, but you couldn’t pretend his words weren’t entrapping you.

“That’s super corny, bro,” Danny laughed, pushing Matt slightly. He just shrugged, and took a sip of vodka straight from the bottle. Danny bothered a few more people about their secrets, and you listened intently to stories about shoplifting and coke addictions, trying to avoid his obvious gaze. You knew he was staring at you, his eyes burning holes in your body as the liquor started to flow through him. He wanted you, he craved you, in a way he had never experienced before.

Love at first sight had always been a myth to you; something in books and movies. Fiction. Until you heard the words slip from his mouth. Love at first sight, soul mates. It was all impossible. But why couldn’t you stop thinking of him. Why did his state send shivers through your body? Why did it feel like you had been waiting for him your entire life, even though you just met?

“(Y/N)! It’s your turn!” You heard Danny yell, bringing you out of your thoughts once again.

“Uh... what’s going on again?” You murmured, the alcohol overcoming your brain as you tried to remember the dumb activity you were being forced to participate in.

“Alright, you might need to slow down on the drinks girl.” Callie laughed, pointing at the cup in your hand.

“I’m fine. Just lost my train of thought!”

“Tell us a surprising fact about yourself,” Matt chimed in, a flirtatious smile plastered across his face.

“Uh, right. Well... I have a really huge record collection. It’s kind of my hobby.” You shrugged, nodding your head slowly as the group around you seemed let down by the less than flashy secret.

“You’re kidding! I collect vinyls too. I have like a thousand,” Mattresponded, his eyes lighting up at the realization that he finally had a way to talk to you.

“You should show him your collection, (Y/N), it’s ridiculously impressive,” Callie said, nodding in excitement. Your heart stopped at her words, hoping that Matt would say ‘Another time!’ and you would forget about the entire interaction. But you knew he would take up any offer to be alone with you; and a part of you was hoping he would.

“I’d love to see it,” Matt said slowly, his voice now a serious tone as he waited nervously for your response.

“Uh... of course. Does anyone else want to see?” You asked, in one final last ditch effort to protect yourself from being alone with him. But the room had already moved on from you, and no one even heard you ask the question. You looked up at Matt, his perfect smile once again showing itself.

“Guess it’s just you and I, pretty girl.” He whispered to you, his hand on your shoulder. He leaned in as he spoke to you, as if to keep the nickname a secret. You looked around in hopes that someone noticed, someone would put a stop to it. But everyone had already moved on, started new conversations, brought themselves deeper into a state of inebriation. No one saw either of you, and you could easily slip away into the night with him. 

You stood up slowly, and motioned for Matt to follow you into your room. He eagerly followed behind, not a single soul in the room even realizing you were leaving. You felt your heart pounding in anticipation and nervousness, not knowing how the next few minutes would play out. You took a few deep breaths to control yourself before opening the door to your room and letting Matt follow.

“Open or closed?” He asked, his hand gripped on the door handle as he awaited your response.

“Closed. I don’t like people seeing my personal space,” you said, moving over to the shelves that held your vinyls. Matt nodded and closed the door lightly, following you over to your collection. 

You walked to the corner of your small, cluttered bedroom. Sat in the corner was multiple shelving units, all packed high and bending under the weight of your numerous records. Next to the shelves was a small desk, which your record player sat beautifully on top of. Your room was overwhelming to a stranger's eye, but every single thing in there had a purpose, to you. It was your sanctuary. And it wasn’t a place you regularly invited strangers. You barely ever let Callie or Danny in there. But seeing him stand there, gazing in fascination at your records, felt very comfortable. You knew that he would respect your space, and not question it. It was a nice feeling to be able to share something so private with someone. 

“Wow... this is amazing (Y/N)... you have fantastic taste in music,” he whispered, running his hands up and down the records.

“Thank you. Some of them I don’t really listen to, they’ve just been collected from garage sales and thrift stores over the years.” You watched him in awe, every feature glowing in the low light of your room. He smiled at certain titles, pulling things out delicately to look at the covers. He was beautiful, perfect. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

“Do you wanna smoke a blunt?” He asked, turning to you in excitement as he pulled out a bag of weed from his pocket.

“Of course. Just crack the window,” you responded, your eyes still locked on him.

“Perfect! Let’s listen to something, too. Do you mind rolling so I can pick something out?” He asked, handing you the plastic bag. Your hand touched his as you grabbed it from him, and you felt time freeze as your skin made contact. He was warm, soft, angelic in his touch. You wanted more, you craved more. But you let go, pulling yourself away.

You watched him pull out various records and contemplate what to put on as you carefully rolled a blunt to smoke. His face was focused and concentrated, and the furrow in his brow made you smile. You couldn’t help but smile around him. He finally pulled out an album you immediately recognized as (Y/F/A).

“How did you know?” You asked, watching him as he delicately took the record out and placed it on your player.

“What?” He giggled, biting his lip as he looked up at you.

“That's my favorite album.”

“You’re joking. It’s mine, too.” He looked up at you, your eyes once again meeting. You didn’t need to speak to know what was going through his mind. The two of you were both thinking the same thing. He broke the stare first to start playing the music, his hands gently placing the needle on the record.

The music began quietly, but filled the room around you. You lit up the blunt and began to smoke, a wave of happiness coming over you as you took in your surroundings. A beautiful boy, your favorite music, some fantastic weed. It was paradise. It was pure bliss.

You smoked the blunt in silence, both of you taking in the beauty of the music, no need for words. You watched him, his movements, enthralled by his every move. The light from the blunt lit up his face in an almost angelic way, making your heart race every time he took a puff. The more high you got, the more you wanted to touch him, feel him, kiss him, love him. Love at first sight, it’s bull shit, right? But what if it isn’t? What if it’s sitting right in front of you?

“Dance with me.” Matt said, standing up quickly and reaching out his hand.

“I... what?” You asked, giggling slightly at the man who was standing in front of you.

“Dance with me. You know you want to.” He raises his eyebrows at you, hand still stuck out waiting for you. You rolled your eyes, a small laugh escaping your lips as you grabbed his hand and stood up. He wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. The smell of smoke and mint immediately overtook you, the warmth of his body wrapping you in comfort. Being in his arms, it was the most calming feeling in the world. It was the best feeling in the world.

In that moment, nothing else mattered to you except being with him. You would do anything to hold on to that moment. You reached your hand up to his face and touched it gently, the softened of his skin flowing on your fingertips. You brushed the few stray wisps of hair away from his face before bringing your lips up to his.

There are many different types of kisses in the world. You first kiss, which is awkward and usually terrible. A sad kiss, one where you know it will be your last kiss for a while. A lustful kiss, where you can’t keep your hands off of each other and want nothing more than to rip clothes off. But this kiss... this was a kiss you had never experienced before. It was a kiss that filled your entire body; flooded you with light and calmness, made every bad thing you’ve ever felt disappear into thin air as your lips pressed against his. It was a kiss that you knew was saved especially between two people who were meant to be. A kiss between soul mates.

As your lips worked effortlessly with his, everything else in the world disappeared except for you and him. You melted into each other, two paints seamlessly coming together to create a beautiful piece of art. You never wanted to let go of him. You never would, if it was up to you. But you needed a second, a second to catch your breath, a second to ground yourself back to reality.

You pulled away from him, your hands still locked in his hair and his on your waist. “We should go back out there. We don’t want to look suspicious,” you whispered, suddenly remembering the circumstances that led you in here in the first place.

“Of course, that’s for the best. But I promise you this is not the end of us.” Matt kissed your cheek and winked flirtatiously before heading back out to your living room. You sat quietly for a moment, your heart racing and your breathing unsteady. In that moment, you knew that was it. That was the last first kiss of your life.

[danganronpa-madness-imagines]

The ultimate bodyguard S/O saving Kokichi from Maki choking him.

♡Hello, my lovely. I- uh apologize if this is cringe! I’m so bad at writing, I hate myself. Im also sorry if this isn't what you wanted. *cries* But yeah, tell me if you want me to change anything.

♡Remember, you are all welcome to ask or request anything. I love you all so much. Stay safe, everyone!

♥Mod Maki.♥

The ultimate bodyguard S/O saving Kokichi from Maki choking him:

~“Jeez, S/O, why are you super serious all the time like Maki? Just lighten up a little,” Kokichi whined, putting his hands on his hips, leaning towards you. “I have to be serious, It’s my talent.” You said firmly. Kokichi’s words kept on repeating in your head. “Jeez, S/O, why are super serious all the time like Maki? Just lighten up a little,”

~Your mind was racing with confusion. “He knows we are in a horrible situation right now. How can he just say that? You should be serious! And...how do you lighten up a little?”

~Kokichi’s sudden yelling interrupted your thoughts. “Hurry, S/O, you’re like taking forever!” You looked over to the sound of his voice to see Kokichi waving his arms in the air. “R-right, I’m coming.” You lifted your feet off the ground, following Kokichi to the gym.

~Upon entering the gym, you noticed all the others were there talking. “That's because...we gave up,” Kaito said, rubbing the back of his neck. He put his fists together, “But this time we can't give up! Cuz, this is our final chance! We're gonna beat up Monokuma and end this ridiculous killing ga-”

~Kokichi spoke up, “What a coinkydink—S/O, and I were planning on ending this killing game, too.” Everyone’s attention turned to you two, standing by the door. “Y'know...we was also thinking about how to end this killing game as soon as possible.” 

~Your eyes shifted towards Maki, You could see the rage in her eyes. She absolutely hated him- no, she despised Kokichi with all her being. Her facial expression and her clenching her fists tightly gave her anger away. Well, it wasn’t like she was trying to hide it, anyway.

~Some time had passed with Kokichi and the rest bickering about the killing game. To almost everyone, it seemed like Kokichi wanted to end this killing game. Maybe that was true. You sighed. But everything is a lie with him, “why am I even talking to him in the first place?”

~“Oh, I know! This is all Monokuma's doing. He's trying to get us to suspect each other. But don't worry. I truly wanna end this killing-¨

~Kokichi’s words were cut off by the sound of swiftly moving footsteps. The sight of Maki rushing to Kokichi made anxiety creep its way into your system. 

~What was she thinking? Did she want to hurt him? You couldn’t let that happen- he was... important to you. And just maybe... just maybe your heart raced a little when speaking to him. And maybe you wanted to hang out with the gremlin. It finally hit you. Did you like him? And did all those times he said he liked you, did he really mean it?

~Maki was only a few feet away from him. Instantly, you rushed in front of him. Protecting him from whatever Maki was about to do. She attempted to rush around you, instead of letting that happen, you firmly grabbed her arm. 

“What do you think you are doing, Maki? Hurting anyone will not help the situation we’re in. I suggest you stop now before you regret it.” Eyes filled with rage was her response. “Maki roll calm down! That’s just what Monokuma wants!” Kaito yelled, running towards the two of you. “We’re leaving now,” you stated, letting go of her arm, grabbing Kokichi’s hand and exiting the gym.

~As you were walking in the hallway, still guiding Kokichi by hand you realized how unusually quiet he was. You sighed, letting go of his warm hand to face him. ¨Kokichi, What's wrong you've been quiet-¨ huh? Why were his cheeks tinted red? Could it be that he was blushing because...you were holding his hand?. For the first time, you got the urge to tease him. You usually wouldn't and let him tease you, so why not get back at that little gremlin?

~You smiled, ¨Aww, Is our Kokichi embarrassed? You teased, leaving him in shock ¨J-Jeez, look at you trying to tease the ultimate supreme leader! Well, that will not work! Absolutely not! ¨ Kokichi turned around from you.

~¨Then why are you blushing, Hm? ¨ You took a few steps toward him. ¨Blushing? What's blushing? Im not blushing your blushing!¨

~¨Yeah, Yeah sure I am. Keep talking little grape¨ You said turning around and walking away from him. ¨W-why are you leaving me here? Didn't you want to tease me!? ¨ He said looking at you. You turned your head to face him. ¨Maybe it's because I like you and thought your blushing face was cute... or is that just a lie, hm?¨

~I guess that day, S/O learned the teasing Kokichi was fun and they should do it more often. S/O also learned they had feelings for Kokichi without knowing it before, but he didn't need to know that. (And maybe that Maki was crazy)

[klariwitch]

You’ll Love Me Again

No one ever really mentioned all the symptoms that comes with heartbreak. For one, your heart quite literally hurt. It burned. Not in the sorts that felt like heart burn, but more so like it was falling. The feeling of weightlessness. Yet, at the same time you felt as heavy as can be. From there its just full on misery. Y’know how people will say they feel like they just got hit by a truck? Yeah. Yeah its that.

“I’m uh, how do i put this without you going all vigilante mode on me? I’m into your sister,” Kon was grinning stupidly now.

Oh!

oh.

Tim felt his heart sink and then the nausea began to settle in.

“My? My what?” Tim shook his head in disbelief. Kon didn’t like him. He liked-

“Cass. Kon likes Cass, Steph,”

“Yknow when I see him next, you best believe I’m bringing that kryptonite ring, I’m gonna-“

“I feel sick to my fucking stomach,” the Robin sobbed over the phone. 

read the rest on ao3

The answering voice sighed. She still felt the shock of Tim crying on the phone with her, about a boy of all things. And, although the she wanted to slap the living shit out of the both of them, she also knew it was best to be calm and to let him cry on. “I know, I feel you Timmy, been there, done that,” she gave the phone a sad smile.

“I can’t even comprehend how that’s a thing. Seriously, Steph, how?!” His eyes seemed to bulge, one step closer to completely freaking out. He laid back on his bed, the phone still close to pressing against his ear, and salted tears running down his reddened cheeks.

He was a bat. A detective. Trained by old comics and the world’s greatest himself, batman. So, how on earth was he feeling so sunk by all these emotions? Why so much all this once? How was he to cry over the phone to Stephanie Brown over not just a boy, but the superboy. And, not just because he didn’t like him back—no, that wasn’t even able to be gotten out—but because he planned to ask out Tim’s own sister.

“Could my life really get anymore amusing, Steph? This is fucking humiliating,”

“Tim, I’m seriously so sorry this just all around sucks. Were you really planning on telling him, though?” The voice questioned over the device.

“Yes,” the boy cringed, “ I had a whole speech planned out to tell him tonight. Talk about bad timing,” his breath slowed. Without all the tears now, he felt tired. So completely drained for ever believing his best friend would ever see him much more than just that. Best friends.

“Why don’t you just spend some time away from him? Not exactly to cut off all contact, but more so just hanging out less? Maybe start making up excuses like Bruce needs you working on a case more, or that your parents have been home?” She suggested.

Actually, it wasn’t the worst idea, either. Kon would be okay with him being busy, and in the meantime he would take that step back and convince himself Kon wasn’t really the one.

“You’re right,”

“I am, aren’t I? Y’know it actually feels really nice to hear you say that for once, maybe just once more?” The girl pressed playfully.

He scoffed. “Yeah wouldn’t you like that?” The Robins teased one another, after all she could always make him feel better. “Alright, I think I have to call it a night. I’m gonna go throw up and then to bed.” He wasn’t lying, either. For whatever reason after speaking to Conner his head hurt like hell and his stomach carried what felt like a flu virus.

“Goodnight, Tim,”

“Night, Steph,”

               *****

“Well,”

“Well?”

“It’s been about a month,”

“Tim,”

“I think I’m actually okay this time. I don’t feel so achey around him anymore! I told you we met up after patrol tonight!” The boy exclaimed over the line, a smile captured on his lips.

“Okay, so, it went alright, then?” Steph asked. She cringed a bit. No way his feelings where just poof gone.

“Steph, it went great,” assured Tim. “I think we plan on doing the same thing tomorrow...it just nice to have my best friend back, yknow?”

“Tim, it’s really okay if you still need time, you know that, right?”

“Steph. I promise. I’m okay, my feelings for Kon are completely gone,”

*****

“You’re here on time” the boy in front of him called. A small chuckle arose, “did bats let you off early?”

“Yes, actually, how’d you know?” Tim smiled. He sat down right beside him on the edge of the rooftop. Ironically, sitting on top of a fifteen story building, next to a superhuman somehow managed to be the spot he always felt the safest. He assumed, it was all about the trust. All about a matter of not having to worry that Kon might decide to push him overboard unexpectedly, or even if the building suddenly gave out. The only fault there was, why did he still have that trust for him? Admittedly, Kon had never exactly tried to send him soaring off a rooftop, but wasn’t heart break a close equivalent?

“Tim?” The familiar hand waved in his face. Tim carefully swatted it away.

“What?”

“I asked you how your day was?”

“Oh,” Tim nodded. He even looked down as if his fingers might curate him the perfect move. Spoiler alert: they did not. “It was…well, I mean kind of slow? Patrol and all that,” the last bit came out as a mutter. Why was he there, again? Honestly, he couldn’t even look at him now. He had thought he was fine, really he did, but what exactly did fine mean? Ignorance, in this case.

The only problem was, he just couldn’t let go. In movies and literature it was always so much easier, because it just always works out for them. They have a promised happy ending. For Tim, none of that was a guarantee.

It was like..insurance. insurance that he did not have. Because, even when the character didn’t end up with their love, they still found something great—like a new person or happiness. And now, all happiness was looking like without Kon was a cold bottle of chardonnay stolen from his mother’s wine cabinet.

“Are you okay?” Kon asked then. His face carried worry and all kinds of fear.

Shit

shit

‘Don’t make me lie to you’ The shorter boy thought. He didn’t want to, it honestly wasn’t something he could find the energy for anymore. “I, uh,” he felt his phone vibrate under his thigh. He didn’t answer it, it would only be Steph wanting to know what was happening.

“What is it, Rob? Spit it out,” the meta pushed, a cheerful smile forming his face.

“I…don’t think I can?” Answered Tim.

“Huh, well, why not? Its okay, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

The raven haired boy just stared at him, mouth split open stupidly. “Right! Right. Yes, I know that,” he nodded.

“So?”

“Right…” he bit his lip till blood arose and the feeling of confidence came beside it. “Could I, show you, instead?” He requested.

“Sure? I mean, yeah. Of course you can, anything that helps,” Kon nodded willingly.  

Was he really going to do that? Where was some sort of memory wiper when you needed it? He’d do anything to redo the last ten minutes.

He sighed. Was he really about to do this? In all fairness, he had been wanting to for some time. Okay, he’d do it. Okay. Maybe not? “Y’know what?” Tim turned. they were closer than he had thought they were. No going back now, right? He laughed sickly, “fuck it.” Evenly, his face melted to a smile as he leaned him, pressing his lips ever so gently against Kon’s.

He couldn’t believe it. He was kissing Kon. His best friend. The boy who unknowingly broke his heart just months ago. This was...unbelievable. It always seemed like it was so incredibly out of reach and get here he was now, kissing him. Did that mean Kon really did like-

“Woah,” and just like that he was pushed away. He’d have to fight through the tears at an arms length distance now. “Hey, sorry, Tim I’m flattered, really, it’s just-“

“Okay, look, I probably should have waited, I just, I don’t know? Ever since you were talking about Cass I just couldn’t get you off my mind, and that’s why I stayed away for so long. Look, most people can just watch, too Kon. Most can just love from afar and wait. Im sorry, but I can’t do that. Im not that person, okay? I’m selfish. So selfish. I hate that I am and i’m sorry, but I can’t just watch, okay? I can’t,” Tim heaved a breath. He wanted to get it all out so bad and now he had spoiled the vibe. “Im sorry to burst your perfect little bubble, I just fucking can’t. Now I see it was a mistake too, because i thought you liked me back. I really did,” his lip bled. Biting too hard again? “You just don’t get it, okay? We’re supposed to be together. Everyone thinks so. We’re best friends, Kon. We’re the beautiful love story. Look, I’ve been telling myself that forever, and you’re just supposed to feel the same,” he shrugged. Just as if it was no big deal.

Kon groaned. He considered for a moment to grab ok to his hands but for obvious reasons that wasn’t exactly appropriate. “Tim. Hey, you don’t have to apologize. Im glad you told me. To be honest, I kind of like you too,”

“Wait, really?” Tim smiled, searching the meta’s face for any truth.

“What? Are you even listening to me? Tim, I’m sorry but I can’t be apart of your little fantasy..” It was clear it pained his friend to say al this. “We’re not some sort of destined couple or whatever you think we are. It just doesn’t work that way, okay?”

Oh. So, not as he expected.

Right

“Well, why not?” The Robin urged, hurt growing in his blue eyes.

“I’m dating Cass,” breathed Kon. “Look, we were going to tell you tomorrow but then all of this happened...I’m sorry, I should have told you,”

Ouch. Fuck. Again?

“Right,” was all he could mutter. “I’m uh. I’m sorry, Kon,” he had to leave. Had to get out of there fire his eyelids broke like dams and he had to muffle his own screams. “I think I’m going to head out, actually..goodnight, Kon,” Tim sighed. He walked off then, taking deep breaths to help ignore the boy calling his name behind him. He could catch him if he wanted to. Easily. Obviously he didn’t want to. Kon loved Cass...not Tim.

****

“I kissed him,”

“You what?!” The voice over the phone sounded livid.

“Yeah, yeah I know stupid, right?” Tim sighed. He sat on his bed, holding a chilled glass of chardonnay, just as he had promised himself.

“Im guessing it didn’t go so well?”

He could hear her cringe over the phone. Tim didn’t respond. Instead, he simply sipped his drink: dry. This one was eruopean as were most of the others, rolled in oak barrels and some sort of fruit. It was like drinking Kon’s scent. Whatever cheap cologne he decided to douce himself in every morning some how crawled its way into his head to torture him. He set the glass down.

“Im sorry, Tim, you really-”

“Its okay, Steph, really,” insisted Tim, having cut her off.

“Is it?” The girl asked genuinely.

“Yes. I’ve decided I cannot change it, so yes, its fine,”

“Wow. Okay. Thats, that’s actually very mature of you,”

The robin nodded, although obviously not visible.

“Goodnight, Steph,” he called into the phone.

“Goodnight, Tim,” she huffed back, right before leaving him in inconsiderable silence.

The boy picked up the wine glass again. He stared deeply into the few bubbled and cringed with the inhale of smoke and aged French oak.

“You’re really messing with my mind, huh, Conner Kent?”

Tim glanced around. His room was gloomy. sad. Dimmed. He wished for Kon to come light it up a bit, yet he didn’t. They’d be apart for now, but he’d turn around eventually. He would get his fantasy.

[boy-bi]

a little vent

i know this is mostly a lgbtq positivity and education account but i really just need to vent tonight. jesus fucking christ its hard to be queer sometimes. i dont know if i have any coherent thoughts or any way to really sum this all up but its so hard and isolating sometimes. i just want to love. i just want to be me and i cant fucking do that without being reminded of how hard it is. i was listening to the kurtis conner podcast from a couple weeks back while i was at work and he has a little advice section and it was a young queer kid asking for advice on how to deal with a homophobic religious father who has been great except for how homophobic he is. ofc kurtis is a cishet man so he kinda was just like "damn that rlly sucks im sorry idk what to say" (im paraphrasing and this is not a callout post or anything im just giving background) and it fucking broke me. like i dont go half of what anon goes through but it really resonated with me. my younger sister came out recently and the way my mom has brought it up just breaks my heart. she's supportive and what not but its just like.... she doesn't see her the same way. she never will. and its the same for my extended family and im so fucking sick of it. and the worst part is i cant change anything. this isnt some fucking disney channel original movie where everyone realizes that gay people are normal and everything is okay; me coming out would forever change my family dynamic and there's nothing I can ever do about it. i was again reading some fanfic and boom outta nowhere it talked about how hard it is to be gay and it hurt my fucking soul again. like I cant even consume media that represents me without being reminded of how shitty the world is. i just wanna love. i just want to be like straight people and just love. but I cant. idk if this is defeatist or just a small set of experiences that will change when im older, but this is all I've ever known. and this is literally one of the better case scenarios; im not in danger, im out to a bunch of my friends, and there are so many queer people who have it so so so so much worse than i do. but im just tired.

ig i wanted to share this for a couple of reasons. i feel this blog sometimes romanticizes queerness in an irresponsible way. i repost happy and educational things because i don't want people scrolling through to be sad, and to not constantly feel weighed down and hollowed by the realness of the world. but its important for u all to know that i do not live a fairy tale queer experience, and for anyone who feels similarly, you are not alone. i guess i also posted this for advice or a cry of help for sorts. i need someone to tell me that it gets better. that this feeling goes away or gets easier to manage. i don't want to live my life with the ever-present thought of "being straight would be easier" in the back of my head. sometimes i feel so isolated and lonely with all of this stuff and it gets too much to bear.

anyways, that's my vent. pls lmk if i need to tag anymore trigger warnings, i tried to do the best i could. i doubt anyone is, but if anyone is worried pls do not be, i am safe and okay.

idk how to end this long ass post. im sorry for how depressing this post is. im just tired. im tired of hating myself, im tired of fearing for how my relationships have/will change, im tired of this stupid ass planet, im tired of not being able to love, and im tired of crying. i wish i could end this on a good note, and there are so many positives!! like we are living in the most progressive age and things have gotten so so so so so much better. but sometimes i wish i could just be straight, or live my life like a straight person does. i know im gonna look back at this and cringe or whatever, but irdc. sorry to vent to strangers on the internet, but if any older queer people could give me advice or their thoughts, i would rlly appreciate it. anyways, i love u all and i hope u guys have a good night <3

[a-pretty-nerd]

Oopse Part 2 (Rodrick Heffley x pregnant reader)

Request: "Hi, i was wondering if you could do a part 2 to the Rodrick x Pregnant!Reader where they tell Rodrick's parents about the babie?" ~ anonymous

*cringes* okay ❤

A/N: I'm not gonna lie, I hate this prompt, the original was meant to be funny but it got SO MUCH ATTENTION. The idea of telling parents that you're pregnant at 16 is terrifying, and its not gonna end well. But Im writing this because I feel like Ive been rejecting too many asks latley and people aren't responding well to that. So I hope you enjoy this. Just a warning, I refuse to sugar coat this topic and make it so the parents are happy and supportive. That's a trope I truly hate and if that is what you are looking for, I can name like 3 other amazing blogs that will happily write that for you.

Warnings: Teen Pregnancy, Parental confrontation

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So Rodrick knew. Not only did Rodrick know, but he stayed. Not only did he know and stay, but he confessed his feelings for you. NOT ONLY did he know, stay, and love you, but he was supportive and shockingly mature about things.

Rodrick was not mature, he just wasnt, that wasnt him. You thought that as time went on that maybe his immaturity would come out and he would get scared or he would be stupid about things and it wouldn't work out. But, that didn't happen.

A few weeks had passed since you gave him the news. The only thing that had changed, was that the two of you were now offically going steady. You told Rodrick to keep things a secret for now. Your parents didn't know, his parents didn't know, no one at school could know. You kept it that way until you figured out what to do.

You hadn't really disgusted it with one another either. Rodrick, while kind and supportive, didn't have a clue as to what to do about it. You feared about what keeping it meant, what adoption meant, or abortion. Where the hell do you even get one of those anyways? You were so conflicted and confused, and most of all, scared.

You walked around the high school campus with Rodrick's arm firmly placed around your shoulders. He walked with a proud smile, standing up straight like you were a trophy. Amungst your peers, you weren't exactly at the top, you had your fair share of friends and enemies. You were absolutely perplexed by the way your new boyfriend presented you. You weren't a trophy girlfriend, you weren't a prize, even if you were the idea was insulting. You pulled yourself awat from him at lunch and hid in a secluded hallway linned with lockers.

You sat on the floor and held your knees to your chest. You felt your heart race and your stomach turn.

"There you are, hey..." Rodrick slowly approached and knelt down, "are you okay?" He asked softly.

"I'm fine."

"You look pale," he leaned in, "is it making you sick?" He whispered softly.

"ITS fine!" You barked. His eyes widened and he pouted for a moment before sitting down beside you.

"Whats going on?" He asked often a long pause.

"Why do you do that?" You asked.

"Do what?"

"That thing you do with me."

"What thing? C'mon Y/N I can't read your mind." You could tell he was fustrated, but he kept himself calm.

"The way you get when we're around friends and at school. You parade me around like I'm some kind of prize! I'm not like those girls who dool themselves uo everyday, I'm not Heather Hills!" He watched you as shouted away from him, you didnt want to face him. He paused and thought for a moment.

"You don't like being a prize?" He asked, genuinely confused and concerened.

"No! I'm not some prize to be won, I'm a person with thoughts and feelings and...and I'm not even a prize to begin with! I'm-I'm I'm ruined." You cried.

"Oh no, no no no, you're not ruined you're- don't cry, don't cry." He tried to pry your hands away from your face so he could dry your tears and hold you close. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean it," he paused and waited for you to take deep breaths and relax before he started talking again, "I just, I really like you Y/N. Like I...really really like you. I've told you I love you a hundred times. You're not a prize, I know that now, But you make me feel like a winner. Having you, makes me feel like I have something to be really proud of. I'm sorry if me showing you off makes you uncomfortable, I'll stop. But I can't help but gush about you a little."

"But Rodrick...I'm pregnant." You whispered to him.

"So? I can't still be proud of my super smart, super hot girlfriend?" He smiled. You paused and held him close for a moment before letting go.

"We have to decide what we're gonna do." You changed the subject.

"Whatever you want." He'd said that so many times, it was driving you mad. You didn't know what you wanted.

"What do you want?" You asked him. Rodrick paused and leaned his head against a lock as he thought.

"I don't know," He admitted, "maybe we should tell someone."

"What? No." You argued.

"We can't keep it a secret forever. People are gonna find out eventually and maybe our parents can help!"

"Not my parents!" You spat. They werent bad parents, you just feared the worst.

"Then lets tell mine, they can help, they'll help us." He pleaded.

"No, no, they'll want us to keep it and get married. They won't understand."

"...Trust me, they'll understand. Please. I want to tell them." You starred at him as you thought.

"...fine." You made a plan, that night at dinner. You went home with Rodrick, and awkwardly shuffled around the house behind him. You had met the Heffly family before, you had stayed for dinner before. But not as Rodrick's girlfriend, and not pregnant.

They greeted you with big smiles, they were happy to have you for dinner. You sat at the table and picked at your food as your leg bounced under the table. At one point, Rodrick placed a hand on your leg to keep is firmly planted. When dinner was over, Greg went to his room, and Manny was put to bed.

"Can we talk to you guys for a sec? Before I take Y/N home." Rodrick asked as his parents sat back down at the dinner table.

"Oh god, somethings wrong." His mother spoke.

"Well, Uh, We-"

"You're pregnant!" His father cut him off. His eyes wide, they starred at you for a long moment. Yout heart raced.

"What?" You spat in shock.

"I knew it, whenever teenage couples sit their parents down, they're pregnant." His mother told her husband.

"How could this happen- Well, I think we know how but you two have only been dating for a few weeks!"

"How could you be so irresponsible?"

"We messed up, you don't have to be so angry at us." You croaked.

"Its true...you are pregnant?" His mother asked softly. You slowly nodded.

"Oh my god..." His father muttered. The room feel silent for a while. Rodrick looked at you, and held your hand tightly.

"What are you going to? Rodrick can't be a father." Mrs. Heffley chuckled.

"We don't know, we thought maybe you could help." You told them. They looked at one another.

"We never thought this would happen." She sighed.

"Me neither!" Rodrick laughed, you gently swatched as his arm.

"Well, how far along are you?"

"A month, maybe."

"Do your parents know, Y/N?" Mr. Heffley asked you. You shook your head.

"We'll figure this out don't worry, it'll be fine." Mrs. Heffley spoke to calm the room.

"What are you going to do, Rodrick? You can't play in that band anymore with a baby." His father told him with a knowing look. Rodrick's expression turned sour, he looked sad but then he held his up.

"I know." He spoke.

"Wait what? No you don't have to stop playing, its your passion." You argued.

"Y/N, a baby is a lot of responsibility, if you keep it, your dreams and your passions take a back seat." Mrs. Heffley warned.

"Well who said I'm keeping it? And who said you can't follow your passions in life? Plety of people do that! Rodrick isn't quiting the band." You were firm. You looked up at Rodrick who starred back, his eyes were lit up. Sparkling as they watched you. "What?" You asked him defensivly, he smiled.

"I love you." He blurted.

"Love you too." You mumbled.

[justtooobsessed]

7 Minutes in Heaven/Hell (Obingo Me!)

im a satanfucker ... L

Claustrophobia tw!

“Hey, hey, [Name]!” Asmodeus’ melodic voice perked up your ears as he knocked on the open door to your room. You placed a bookmark into the book you were reading; most of the time Asmodeus in your room meant you had to put everything down to gossip, paint each other’s nails, or even just be talked at rather than with.

“What is it, Asmo?” you said, turning your full attention to him. He loves having your full attention, the narcissist-- but it’s good to have this conniving devil on your side.

He took this as permission to enter and sauntered to your bed to take a seat. Satan followed, but was still stood close to the doorway, acting as if he shouldn’t even be here. “I have a question for you about a human thing,” Asmo said.

“Go on?”

“Okay, so! Solomon, Satan, and I were having a conversation the other day, and he said he did some embarrassing stuff while playing a game called ‘Seven Minutes in Heaven.’ We went to Simeon and the Chihuahua to ask about it since, you know, ‘Heaven’, but they had no idea what it was!” he threw his hands up in the air for dramatic effect. “We figured a fellow human would know, since Solomon won’t answer us.”

So Solomon played this before? Sounds like something to ask him about in the future. “It’s a game where two people, usually chosen randomly, are locked in a closet together for seven minutes to do, well… whatever it is they want to. Usually kissing,” you answered honestly.

“Have you ever done it before?”

“No, I’ve never--”

“Would you want to?” Satan suddenly inserted himself into the conversation. When you and Asmodeus looked at him with surprise, he covered his mouth and blushed. Quickly regaining his composure, he cleared his throat and continued, “Just for curiosity's sake, of course.”

Asmodeus was experiencing what one would call mild panic. As the demon of lust, he knew quite a lot of love and it’s associated emotions, but feeling those exact vibrations from his brother made him want to puke. “Satan. Do not tell me you just said that.”

“It was simply a question,” Satan leaned into his hand in a poor attempt to mask his blush, “[Name] said they had never done it before.”

Asmo was internally cringing at his brother’s awkwardness-- in the hundreds of thousands of years they’ve been brothers, he’s never witnessed Satan act so uncomfortably. In fact, he’s pretty sure he’s never even seen Satan express strong feelings towards anyone. 

Luckily for Satan, Asmodeus was feeling extra nice today. “How about we play a game, then?” he said in that cheerfully mischievous voice of his, clapping his hands together with a smile. “You know, they always say the easiest way to learn is by doing! So show him, [Name]!”

You barely had time to process what was going on before Asmo had shoved both you and Satan into your small closet. You glanced at Satan, trying to reassure him with a look before trying the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge. “Asmodeus! What's the big idea?”

“Don't worry,” he giggled, “You won’t be there forever! I’ll let you out when I get back, okay?”

“From where?” Satan shouted, losing his composure slightly. “How long do you plan to keep us in here?!”

“Seven hours,” Asmo answered as if it weren't that big of a deal.

You choked on your words, managing to repeat Asmo’s own with a stutter. “What do you mean, seven hours?” You were starting to get nervous just thinking about being in a small space for so long with someone you liked.

“Since we live for so long, seven minutes is like nothing!” Asmo quipped, “So seven minutes in heaven is equivalent to seven hours in hell.”

“That's way too long,”

“Calm down, [Name]~” he hummed, and you became angry just imagining the cocky look on his face. “Although I'll admit -- and I’m sure Satan would agree -- you are so cute when you’re angry!”

"Oh yeah? Well I'm about to get real fucking adorable–"

"Buh-bye, you two!" Asmo sang, and you heard the door to your room slam shut. At this point, yelling for help would do no good, and your D.D.D. was still in your room on your desk.

"Satan, do you have your phone on you?" you twisted around to face him, and he knocked his head on a shelf trying to back up. Despite the darkness of the closet, you could see him flush.

“Erm,” he checked his back and front pockets, then sighed. “I left it in my room. I didn't think I was going to be here so... long.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. A loud silence filled the closet as you both stood stiff as boards, looking at anything but each other. You wanted to step back to reduce how close you two were, but unfortunately you two were about as far as you could get. So instead you cleared your throat, arms rubbing against the clothes hanging in your closet.

Satan broke the silence. "So, when you were describing this game…” he finally looked you in the eye, “...you say you spend time in the closet doing ‘whatever it is you want to do.’ What do you want to do?”

‘I want to kiss you.’ You thought. 

“Let's just talk,” you said.

Satan smiled, telling you that was a great idea. “Akuzon is going to have an anniversary sale soon. I was thinking of reading a new series, if you’ve got any suggestions.”

You sighed at his words. Whenever you tried to talk to him, he would be bare-minimum; always speaking of his brothers or something vague about something even more vague. “You know, you don’t have to fake smiles and act calm all the time," you said with an unintentional pout. “At least, not around me.”

“What do you mean?” he tipped his head like a curious dog, another made-up smile grazing his lips.

“I noticed you got angry at Asmo earlier. Why bottle it up? You're the avatar of wrath, after all.”

Satan’s eyes softened. If he was going to be stuck with you for seven hours, he might as well be honest. “It’s… different. I have to learn to keep my emotions in check, or else it could spell disaster for our realm. Yours too, probably.”

“I get that you’re trying to look out for others, but… It can’t be healthy to keep everything in, Satan,” you frowned. “I don’t want you to feel caged. You can at least be honest with me.”

The blonde demon took a sharp breath. He had never really had someone notice these things about him, and he was definitely thankful for the outlet you offered. “[Name],” his lips parted. “I… Thank you.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Well, how about I ask you the same question you asked me? We have seven hours in here together. What do you want to do?”

‘I want to kiss you,’ he thought.

“I want to get to know you,” he said.

You looked upwards in thought. “Let’s see… I like dogs, I like [favorite food], and I like... You rested your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around his torso. “You.”

You could hear his heart beat faster and faster in his chest.  He mentally berated himself-- he’s spent years practicing how to keep his cool in any situation, and a hug made him panic like this? He laughed it off, wrapping his arms around you. “I think you’re a great friend too, [Name].”

You lifted your head from his chest, looking up into his eyes. “Satan,” you said in a stern voice. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

He leaned further into your embrace, resting his head atop yours. “Sorry. I like you too. I’ve just been too scared to say it this whole time.” Satan chuckled, and it was pure magic to feel his laughter through his chest. “Can you imagine that? Me, Satan, Avatar of Wrath, scared to tell someone I like them.” He nuzzled into your hair, mumbling his next words.. “How embarrassing.”