#im not something

[bedforddanes75]

charli is gonna have to fistfight me and punch my teeth in before i get over george im serious

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

[chiisana-lion]

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[fernsnailz]

i think we all need to complain about LED headlights more. please can we all complain about them more. night driving is nearly impossible for me to do now without having to white knuckle my way through a thousand evil suns. every time i see those headlights in my mirrors i take 2d6 radiant damage. i want to destroy every single LED headlight under my feet like they’re goombas

[tawnysoup]

Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3

If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[keithbutgay]

hi!

um

yeah

notes goal post

because i really need motivation

(i stole some of these but shhhhh)

if this post gets 50 notes i'll drink water right now

100 i'll go to bed at midnight for the rest of the week

200 i'll actually do my laundry

500 i'll take a shower every day for the rest of the week

1,000 i'll brush my teeth every night for a full week

2,000 i'll stop binding for an unhealthy amount of time for a full week

3,000 i'll start actually wearing my ankle braces consistently

4,000 i'll eat breakfast every day for the rest of the week

5,000 i'll stop binding while sleeping

6,000 i'll stop wearing earrings i'm allergic to for a full week

7,000 i'll start doing makeup again

8,000 i'll stop eating chocolate for the rest of the week

9,000 i'll make my autodale masks

10,000 i'll touch grass every day for the rest of the month

11,000 i'll water my plants twice a week for the rest of the month

12,000 i'll put on my lotion when i need to for a full week

13,000 i'll eat at least two meals every day for the rest of the week

14,000 i'll finish my water bottle every day for a full week

15,000 i'll write more for forest files

18,000 i'll clean out my backpack

19,000 i'll take my vitamins every day for the rest of the week

20,000 i'll finish my stained glass project

21,000 i'll go to bed before midnight for the rest of the week

22,000 i'll do my summer reading

23,000 i'll move the knife out of my room

24,000 i'll eat three meals every day for three days

25,000 i'll stop purposefully triggering myself for a full week

50,000 i'll try my best to stay clean for two full weeks

i'll probably add more goals if this somehow get past 5k, but there it is for now :)

spam allowed

tagging allowed

ummm the deadline is halloween

*thumbs up*

go for it

[heshmmity]

f4f (fag4fag)

[james-p-sullivan]

the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????

i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.

so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.

[nyaa]

[reillymackay]

ogh my fucking god man.

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[ayyy-pee]

waking up freezing and shivering, teeth chattering every night because your husband is a blanket hog. you know it's not on purpose. he just can't help it. doesn't even know he does it most times. you'd think after years together you'd be used to it, but waking up curled into the fetal position as you try to retain even a smidge of warmth is something you don't think you'll ever adjust to.

so you reach behind you, feeling your spouses large form wrapped snug as a bug in your shared blanket and you grip onto the fabric. you pull as hard as you can but you don't manage to move him even an inch. you try once more...same result.

"ken..." you whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself. no response. "kento..."

he doesn't budge. you're tempted to just get up and go grab another blanket, but your husband, despite his seriousness, can get quite pouty when you do that. so you tap him hard instead sure to jab him in the spot you know is his most sensitive. this seems to do the trick as he grunts in response.

"I'm cold," you tell nanami and he sits up quickly, realizing what he's done. his pajama top hangs off one shoulder. his blonde hair is pointing every which way and sleep is heavy on his eyelids, threatening to weigh him down again any minute.

"I'm sorry, love," nanami speaks, voice rough and deep with exhaustion, but the sincerity in his apology clear.

then he's throwing the blanket back over you both. only he adds in a little extra warmth as he wraps his arm around your waist and throws a large leg over your body.

nanami buries his face in your neck, adjusting himself so that he can be as close to you as possible. only a few seconds pass before you hear his light snoring behind you. and you know the warmth you feel is from more than just his touch.

[bloominglegumes]

me and my cringefail wife vs little guy who does not stop yapping