#im not smoking anymore
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i need to vape SO BAD
#i quit i quit!#im not smoking anymore#but i miss peach flavored smoke.... i miss those smokes with cool mint sensations....#the best thing abt vape is that it doesnt have that gross sweetness conventional cigs have at the butt#also like. when youre bored you dont have to finish it right away#but vape cartridges expensive amd im glad i have the sense to only mooch off my friends#but i miss it sometimes#which is weird because i didnt do it often#textposts#like i wont call myself a vape user because im just using my friends' vape
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shut up im coping
#do i even need to spoiler tag this?#yknow what. yeah. im gonna rant anyway#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#GET HER OUT OF THAT TEAM. GIRL PLEASE BETRAY THEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU SHOULDNT BE THERE#this isnt even me being high on gempearl anymore i wanted her to be with jimmy or skizz and then impulse and just. the blue man jumpscare#and to clarify this is pure character talk. i just. girl your character arc#girl your character arc its on the floor#the scene where they talk about her trauma from dl…i think im gonna combust#shut up. shut up please im smoking copium#i want this team to fall apart so bad. like good for you if youre happy with this but. augh#anyway Lizzie pov was very silly very fun i might just become a Lizzie main this season/j#mcyt#and yes. i am nothing if not dedicated to the bit so i am finding shiny duo screenshots for every ep like last time
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#megumi kitaniji#twewy#my art#fan art#im throwing this one out so it doesnt sit on my brain anymore#you dont need more effects you need a new picture kaa#tw: smoking
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Hey so like. You know when Andrew was going through withdrawal? Do you think Proust let him smoke, or was he withdrawing from that at the same time too?
Or maybe he lets him smoke after depriving him of them for a while. Andrew’s hands shaking after a session with Proust and he needs a cigarette but it makes him feel sick, because he’s not smoking as much as he’s used to, so when he’s finally allowed to smoke again it’s horrible and his head rushes and his hands tremble and his stomach feels sick and his throat hurts. His stomach is sick because of the nicotine and tobacco but it’s not just that and he knows it. He wants to run away but he can’t. He has no one to talk to. He sits in a courtyard with a cigarette burning because he can’t smoke any more or else he’ll puke, and he thinks of Neil, just smelling the smoke instead. Watching it rise. Taking his time with it because he knows when he’s finished he’ll have to go back inside to his doctors and his stomach won’t feel better and his head won’t hurt any less.
#maybe it’s the thing that keeps him going#those little moments of Neil#it wouldn’t take long for him to not feel sick if he’s not off them for that long#but smoking a cigarette when you haven’t for a while reminds you quickly why you don’t smoke anymore#he can smell the smoke on his clothes again he can taste it on his tongue again#his fingers smell like tobacco#his head rushes like it did when he first started smoking to feel#he wants to feel#but this is not how it’s supposed to be#how it’s supposed to happen#idk what this means im just thinking about him smoking#vices addictions etc etc#mine#Andrew minyard#aftg
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the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye
#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him#he never comes out the same way twice#but then again. do any of us?#anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain#its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor#too much all at once. cant art anymore#i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw#and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort#i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible.#i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen#i come back to scroll on tumblr#i feel Despair. rinse and repeat#scribble salad#is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile!#i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move#sigh... dont wanna go....#but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all!#apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle#too exhausted. the Despair is too strong#and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit
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The Eighth Sense Episode 2
#the eighth sense#여덟 번째 감각#im ji sub#oh jun taek#kdrama#soomedits#i love everything about this drama so far!!#jaewon moving jihyun out of the way of the smoke??? ajsdkasdhjasdh#(my brain is mush and idk how to improve this anymore so i'll just leave it like this...)
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something about buck getting the lasagne perfect at the start of season 6 when he was unhappy with the things happening in his life but he had his diaz boys there with him and buck getting the lasagne wrong in season 7 now he's happy with who he is but he's only got one of his diaz boys...
#sami rambles#it took me three tries to get it right (im here with you)#is that smoke? (i can't see you anymore we're lying to each other i can't see you)#911 spoilers#911 show#evan buckley#buddie#eddie diaz#buck x eddie#christopher diaz
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#ive been out of office for a week so today im back 100000 emails requests meetings like is everyone out of their mother fucking minds#why are we bothering with this shit just turn it all off i do not give a fuck#im not doing shit!!!! i do not care!! everyone fuck off!!#I haven’t heard back from my fucking interview yet either this is day 3 they have to tell me by today#like what the fuck!! hurry up!!!!#and im also ridden like RIDDEN with guilt every time I look at my kid and realize what the future looks like#idk what to do#she doesn’t deserve this whatever is about to happen#I don’t want to like participate in society anymore but I have to do all this so she can have a chance#I need a great deal of money a shield against the bullshit#like that’s the only thing that matters they keep showing us that#but I feel like smoke#like I’m going to just blow away#whatever we keep going im going to be writing a great deal just to do something create something#whatever#whatever fuck it#god this is so hard
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104 chapters later...
i could write four full novels on why they're the greatest rivals ever and that still wouldn't convey even half of it
#*loosens tie* kitten i'm not gonna lie i'm going a little crazy#the fucking roses wrapping around isagi...#the look of both awe and challenge in his eyes......#the following fucking biblical panel where michael is reaching up towards the light.....#the way he shows the rose as a fucking nod at his mother#having finally made it. finally done something he thinks will make her proud#im sick#im literally gonna need to be brough to the ER when this arc ends and we won't be seeing kaiser anymore#i have so much to say abt this chapter......#fuck#i need a beer and a smoke or some shit#blue lock ch266#mine
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this was supposed to be a quick drawing 😭 i think marshall is a little neat
no background because my arm hurts and i also can NOT be bothered to learn how to make them look nice grr…
#vibevain art#danny smoke in furry land#marshall the wolf#marshall danny smoke#furry#furry art#digital#digital art#i think danny smoke in furry land is a little funny#this was semi ironic#<- ykw im gonna be real i don’t even know anymore#whatevs this was fun to draw and i haven’t shaded fully in forever#yay!
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been sober for 5 weeks today, & in a lot of ways my quality of life has greatly increased. but one thing ive never rlly heard spoken abt when it comes to sobriety is how u literally have to learn how to feel again. just a really bizarre & strange transitory period !!!
#huge rant below but just thinking out loud like this is my diary LMAOOO#like i wasnt doing anything hard i just quit smoking weed#**hard as in like hard drugs but quitting smoking was nawt easy 😭#but i smoked every single day for almost 10 yrs from late high school till my late 20s#& relying on that to like watch tv shows & de stress and hang out with friends and engage with my craft#truly fundamentally alters ur brain chemistry#like emotionally im so gray & it’s so much better than it was before bcs I sleep now#& I don’t get super angry or overwhelmed or frustrated anymore#which is truly really great#but i also don’t have the highs either which is weird !#it’s just so like coasting and i feel like now i have to reteach myself joy which is so weird#all in all tho things aren’t bad just different & it’s an adjustment for sure !
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Oh, your edgelord cartoon show attracted fans that wear blackface and purposefully offend people? Shocker
#Hazbin Hotel#im tagging it because i want real fans smoke idgaf anymore#i am a public hater and i will box about it#you idiots are wearing black paint and going “what how is this blackface”#but then somehow want people to respect Alastor's mixed race when it gets them Idpol love#like to my friends that like the show we've discussed why you like it and this is obviously not about you#but#oh my god really lmao
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if life was perfect there would be a tranquility base hotel + casino film. send post.
#like cmonnnn#just imagine#paranoia and bittersweetness and overwhelming urgency and 10 minute long shots of alex turner just smoking a cigarette in the bar#the choatic 70s decor against all that liminal space#AND THE ARCHITECTURE SHOTS OH MY GOD THE ARCHITECTURE SHOTS WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL#and that undercurrent of pure unease going through the whole thing where everything just seems *off* but nothing is uncovered#and the soundtrack would be obvious-#along with that weird beeping thing in the 4 out of 5 mv#an entire scene about the bittersweetness of pictures of friends on the wall that arent really friends anymore#it all just feels like a dream youre about to wake from#all the extra characters would be sickingly charming with an edge of just pure confusion#cant forget the homoerotic undertones#i need to protagonist to get halfblind drunk and stumble about in the dark of a backroom of a bad dream#i NEED mark sauntering about answering the batphone and doing that mad twirly thing with the line cable#i NEEEED miles kane to be in every single fecking scene#i need lola and jeany and lizzie and all the other names in the tracks to have their own wee choatic monologues#i need- to just shut up and open another script document#at this point im just taking notes i might aswell start writing the bloody thing#is my obsession showing yet? i sure hope so.#GO TO BED NOVA FOR CHRIST SAKE#tranquility base hotel and casino#tbhc#tbh+c#arctic monkeys#my post
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happy year of the dragon 🎉🎊🐉 with our favorite golden dragon
(and, because it wouldn't be a post of mine, after all, without a long footnote: to be clear, villentretenmerth was inspired by the legend of the dragon of wawel hill, and when people (meaning: netflix) erroneously claim that he was inspired by asian dragons instead, and mention nothing of this krakówian dragon nor the cobbler twiney whom defeated it, it actually kind of ticks me off, not only because i find it lazy, but also because the whole point of villentretenmerth's character is that he's a subversion of the type of cruel, greedy dragon from european mythology... however, i'm setting all of this aside momentarily, because since i was born in 2000, my zodiac is that of a golden dragon, and because i also happen to be a witcher fan... i call for borch-posting)
#my two girlfriends. and yes. they smoke weed#the witcher books#art#my art#c: borch three jackdaws#villentretenmerth#c: véa#c: téa#'there's a lot of CoMpLeXiTy To LiMiTs oF tHe PoSsIbLe'#im sorry im like this. but it must be like this. nothing can anymore be changed. by the diamonds at the ends of your eyelashes
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i need gwendolyn and (original) elias bouchard to be siblings/twins SO bad. i know it doesn’t make sense. i know it literally defies different universe logic and everything about the way that we’ve been introduced to tmagp. i also don’t care. i need it
#‘OP is this bc you’re a sibling? you’re a twin? fraternal girl/boy (at birth)?’ UMMM NO HAHA! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAY HAHA!#CERTAINLY NOT!!! /J#no im Sorry because Like. imagine. gwen just has this brother who up and basically disappeared one day. almost became . Someone Else .#he didn’t Talk the same anymore. didn’t smoke or joke or laugh like he used to. just worked all the time. [danny stoker looms in distance]#‘grow up theyre prolly just distant relatives or its a coincidence’ FUCK you. theyre twins to me. gwen was too close to og elias so she got-#universe swapped. TO ME.#tmagp#tmagp speculation#tmagp headcanons#the magnus protocol#tmagp vague#gwendolyn bouchard#elias bouchard
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....almost done, its almost over. i just have to keep surviving. push through. one more day and then i can rest for a day. then four and then ill have an actual weekend. you can totally do this me. yeah. yep. mandatory overtime is a bitch but your gonna crush it like you always do and have a super thick paycheck. you're gonna get it done.
#ready to either nap for an entire week or have a joint#not that i smoke anymore but its the feeling of literally being at my wits end#6 days. we are mandated 6 day weeks because of the dumb prime week 2.0#not complaining!!!!! but also am slightly complaining#shouting into the void#i need to just rest for a long long time#and i will!! just... got to push through for a little A LITTLE bit longer#i got audiobooks and music and fanfic to keep me company and the shifts easier but im just not sleeping well#bought some cds on target because of their buy 2 get one free sale on music last week. to treat myself because i need to honestly look#forward to something to push through for#im gonna call my dad tomorrow afternoon because holy crap i miss him. i feel like this week has been a million years#i just am pushing through#“surviving” is what i say to people when they ask me how i am#its true#im just doing my best but am going a little mental with it because im exhausted low key#not trying to vent but i am just tired#anyway yeah#for myself
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